Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 384 - Morgan Brayton

Episode Date: July 27, 2015

Morgan Brayton returns to talk The View, the McLobster, and Cuddleup.com.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 384 of Stomp Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the M&M to my Obie Trice, Mr. Dave Shumka. Oh my god, that's very kind of you. Yeah, yeah.

Was Obie Trice in the D12? No, but he was who could stomp Moby in that one song are you sure he wasn't in d12 yes who's in d12 uh i don't know a floop flap killer smoker uh there's one guy who just went by his regular name like johnny gill it wasn't johnny gill no it might have been johnny gill um no yeah i looked for a couple days ago. For some reason, I looked up who's in D12. How many people are in D12? Not as many as there used to be because two of them are not with us anymore.

But also, there were never 12. Is that right? I think it was all just like there's six of us, but let's all be a character. That's where Slim Shady came from. Ah. There's a little hip-hop history for you. If you don't learn history, you're doomed to repeat it. Lucky us.

Mm-hmm. And our guest today, returning guest, very funny comedian, and host of her own television show called Morgan Brayton and Other People. Miss Morgan Brayton is with us. Oh, hi. Oh, hello. Welcome back. Oh, my goodness.

Thanks for having me back. And thanks for having it rain, because I was going to ride my bike here, and then it rained, and then I drove. Yeah. Yeah, hello. Welcome back. Oh, my goodness. Thanks for having me back. And thanks for having it rain because I was going to ride my bike here and then it rained and then I drove. Yeah. Yeah. It's the only rain we've had for a while. I know. People are excited.

Woo. It's not much. You are excited. Are you excited? About the rain? Yeah. Oh, I love it. Can't stand it.

What? You can't stand the rain? Against my window. Every time it's like I get the under the boob sweat. I think of you just not because you don't want a boob. A lot of ladies do. Because I just think Graham's so unhappy right now. Oh yeah.

Because you just get so mad when it's so warm. Yeah. And I think it's because everybody else is so happy. Also adds to how angry I get. You just hate to see others happy. Yeah. I think so. My new thing this year is get out of the shower and my hair doesn't dry for two hours.

And my hair's not long. No, no, that's true. But it happens especially when it's this short. Yeah. It's just like it's saturated. Yeah, but the wet look, the London look. Yeah, well, very in right now. Which one's the London look?

Rimmel? Yeah, Rimmel. Rimmel. And the lady with the, she has the big gap in right now. Which one's the London look? Rimmel? Yeah, Rimmel. Rimmel. And the lady with the... She has the big gap in her teeth. Kate Moss? Lara Stone. Yeah.

Wasn't it Kate Moss? No, from maybe a long time ago. Oh, I'm old school, guys. Kate Moss has never even been to London. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that. Yeah. Yeah.

It's all... She's from Cleveland. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. But she shoots all of her commercials on green screen, so it looks like she's... Yeah. Everyone thinks she's so glamorous, but she's made Cleveland. Yeah. Oh. But she shoots all of her commercials on green screen so it looks like she's. Yeah.

She thinks everyone thinks she's so glamorous but she's made out of moss. She's like a swamp thing. Guys do you want to get to know us? I sure do. Get to know us. So what's new?

What's new and exciting Morgan Brayden? Tell us about this TV show. Or do whatever you want. Well I was just no I just was thinking about Kate Moss and not being from London, which is a bombshell. Well, it's a lie, also.

Oh, well then that's not as much of a bombshell. But it made me think that I've been reading Harry Potter to my son, the first book. The Harry Potter and the Cookies Fortune. Harry Potter and the Cookie's Fortune Harry Potter

and the Kinky Boots is it Philosopher's Stone is that the first book it is the Philosopher's Stone yes that's the only one I've ever read

oh yeah but in America it wasn't in America it was it was the Sorcerer's Stone it was Willy Wonka I

no I read it and then I was like yeah I get this is for kids and then I I was done with it and people were like no but what about it and then I was like, yeah, I get this is for kids. And then I, uh, I was done with it. And people were like, no, but what about the magic? And I was like, yep.

Yep. Got it. You read it out loud to him? I do. Cause I'm a young parent. Yes. And I read tiny little books to my daughter who cannot appreciate them. Don't read her Harry Potter.

She's too young. She'd be afraid. And she will eat it. She loves paper at this point. But like reading out loud seems like it takes forever for a book that long. Like I'm going to be reading my daughter, you know, just like seven habits of highly effective people. Is that a short book? Just like, I don't know.

I don't know. Reader's Digest. Oh yeah, sure. TV Guide, if that was still around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I read a chapter that was still around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I read a chapter a night, and no more no matter how much he begs. But you like him to beg.

I think children should. It teaches them something. Is he really into it? He is, yeah. But I do the different voices for the different characters. You're an actress. Yeah. So you know how to do this. But I'm also not from London.

And so good thing he's 12 and Canadian and doesn't have a lot of judgment around my accents. Yeah, yours is more of a Manchester. It's terrible. Like there's, you know, I think Voldemort is pretty scary because he was the, spoiler alert,

we should put some kind of pause like on the, yeah. Anyone who cares knows. Yeah. He's the guy that doesn't have a nose, right? Well, he's, yeah, he's on the other side of Professor Quirrell's head because he's taken over his body. And so he's like, you know, you was the boy at the end. So my son was actually quite scared and couldn't sleep. That's your scary spice? Scary spice?

He's the scary one? Also my scary spice. Well, she's a sorry about me because you let her get with me. You better listen carefully. Is that her line? Yeah. But then, like, that's kind of my best one. Like, Uncle Vernon, he's like a big brash kind of, and then Aunt Petunia, different story I'm reading, too.

Uncle Petunia. But like, my Hagrid is, he sounds Australian, because he has a very difficult. That's one I could do. You could? Because that's the only line I remember from the trailer. Let's hear it. Go for it, Dave. You're a wizard, Harry.

Pretty good. Yes, very good. It's reimagining. If you can remember the actors, I'm sure it's easy. Yeah. You're a wizard, Harry. Oh, see, that's the movie. See?

Oh, you're making real progress. And then Ron would be like, who do I know? Pretty much. Pretty much. Does your wife, Michelle, ever come and do? Read? No. No, she doesn't. She doesn't come in and do Celebrity Walk-On?

She doesn't read, period. She reads things that you can flip past on the internet. Yeah. But no, she doesn't go in for that kind of thing. She closes the door to our bedroom so she doesn't have to hear me. I want to stay away from the magic that is Harry Potter. Is there magic in it?

It's mostly illusions. Vegas. So you're still in the first book? We just finished the first book. What's your favorite spell? Wingardium Leviosa. Oh yeah, that's the one that's like, hey. You're a hat. Oh, yeah. That's the one that's like, hey, you're a hat.

Your luggage. I have all of the books, but we couldn't find the second book. I don't know what happened to it. It must have loaned it to someone. Or did it just disappear? Maybe it was mad. Maybe it was one of my spells went awry. Oh, yeah.

So I went to download it onto my iPad and it wasn't in the iBooks and I couldn't figure it out. And you can only order them through J.K. Rowling's, it's called like Potter Shop or something like that. She has her own website that you can order the books from. She's got, that woman has so much money now.

She's got like a billion dollars. She has enough money to have her own website. With flash and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't even have one of those under construction signs. She is writing a new series of books. There was something that just came. I think that, yeah.

Is it like a spinoff or it's like sort of an extension of... Yeah, he's a lawyer. Solves crimes using magic. It's not a bad idea. Yeah, that's not bad at all, actually. It sounds like a porn. It's got those girls with tattoos that you were talking about earlier. It must be over 18.

That was all fair. Yeah. They're in a Perry Hodder film. Right. Why did she stop writing the books? Because it seemed like people wanted to... She had to stop and count her money. Yeah.

It's too much. She couldn't do anything else. She was too busy counting money. Right. She's got one of those Scrooge mcduck vaults when you swim through is she uh uh you know how like um everyone in seattle claims they saw nirvana's first show or whatever right does everyone in london claim like oh this is the cafe where she used to write there's a place and i know for sure in edinburgh that uh that is is she scottish i

think she's yeah i think that's where she was writing. I think they claim it. That's their whole claim to fame is this place is that it's like. Right. You know, this is the, not the particular table, but this was the coffee shop. Okay. And it's just the same thing I did with the book. I looked in the door.

I was like, yeah, I get it. Yeah, it seems like a place somebody could write. I went on, when I was in Liverpool, I did with the book. I looked in the door. I was like, yeah, I get it. Yeah, it seems like a place somebody could write. I went on, when I was in Liverpool, I did a Beatles tour. They put you on a magical mystery tour bus. And they say. No yellow submarine? No, they do have a yellow submarine, like, by the dock. Really?

Yeah. Wow. Is it the mystery van from Scooby-Doo? Uh-huh. They got that, too. They've got all the famous psychedelic vehicles. Yeah. Wow. Is it the mystery van from Scooby-Doo? Uh-huh. They got that, too. They've got all the famous psychedelic vehicles. Yeah. That weird spaceship from Jodorowsky's Dune.

Yeah, the Partridge family bus with the different colors on it. Very mysterious. But, like, they go around and, like, this was Paul McCartney's house. And you're like, that's you. Like there's no sign. And it's not like the house is shaped like Paul McCartney's face and you're like,

oh yeah, that totally is where he would have lived. And his mother's name was Mary, like in Let It Be. Oh, they try to, yeah, stitch it all together. They gotta bring something,

do something. This was John Lennon's house. His mother's name, Julia. From the song. What did I see in Prague? Was it in Prague? That I saw like Edgar Allan Poe?

Not Edgar Allan Poe. Kafka? Kafka. Yeah, I went there. So tiny. Yeah. Like, oh boy. See, that's the kind of thing that you go,

well, that's interesting. Yeah, because you're like, wow, it was really tiny. But wasn Like, oh, boy. It's like where he wrote. See, that's the kind of thing that you go, that's interesting. Yeah, because you're like, wow, it was really tiny. But wasn't it in, like, Wenceslas Square or, like, in, like, the big castle? It's like, oh, it's convenient that he had his writing space in an already, like, prime tourism spot. Yeah, that's true. It's planning. Good planning. Like, if it had been, like, outside of the. Yeah, that's true. Good planning. Like, outside of the city, you had to go on an ox cart to get there.

I love a good ox cart tour. On a Kafkaesque salary, he can live in a castle? So, your son is being read the books. I assume he's never seen the movies. I think that he did, but, you know, like like years ago and didn't you know he's also highly inattentive uh like sitting and watching an entire movie for him is not he's he's i'm the same way with there you go those movies you know um especially now when you can just have your phone out not in a movie theater but it like, this is dragging for three seconds.

So let's see if anyone's liked a tweet. And that's partly why I'm reading it to him because he reads books. He'll get a new novel that's, you know, hundreds and hundreds of pages long. And then the next day he's, he, you know, he's, he's bored and I go, well, read your new book. And he goes, I finished it. I couldn't have finished that book by now he's like I did

I read the whole thing because he reads like a paragraph and then he skips like 10 pages and he gets the gist of it you know so he feels that he's read it

where I've just gotten the gist it makes me crazy I'm like yeah it was pretty good I'm I've timed it with Abby she reads four times as fast as I do

oh wow and I'm a very slow reader've timed it with Abby. She reads four times as fast as I do. Oh, wow. And I'm a very slow reader. Yeah. I don't think she's reading every word, but it's frustrating because she's done like, I'll start a book and, uh,

we'll be reading it. We'll have the, like a race. Like you guys have the same book. Well, no, we have it on a Kindle. Okay.

And so she can read it at the same time that I read it. And then I'll be like slogging my way through it for weeks. And then when I'm three quarters of the way through, she starts. You're still trying to figure out the voices. Yeah. No, it's not the right. Because that's the thing they tell you when

that slows down your reading is you're reading every word. You're saying every word in your head. Right. So I feel like reading a book out loud is just that. Oh, yeah. you're reading every word. Like you're, you're, you're saying every word in your head. So I feel like reading a book out loud is just that. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's true. I've never.

You in such a hurry. Just read, just read it and enjoy it. What's the, it's not a race. I know. But like the thing it's like, no,

there is a prize in this house, but it's like, Oh, I can sneak in a quick chapter before bed. I can't. Cause you know, you know, wait, are you still be up in the sun? before bed. I can't. Okay. You know. You can sneak in a paragraph. The sun is coming up.

Yeah, exactly. The sun is coming up. And, ah, crap. I got to go to work. I can't read before bed because that gets the things going. Oh, I'm the opposite. Oh, really? Yeah.

Like, my preferred sleep pose is book on my chest. No, I need a dumb movie or TV show. Or a bathroom reader. Yeah, something that it demands that you shut your brain off. Right. I listen to, I think we actually talked about this proclivity of mine last time, that I listen to old radio shows. Right. And that's, it's sort of my brain signal to fall asleep.

Yeah. But speaking of which, I was. You just got cast in a remake of Fibber McGee and Molly. Come on, from your lips to God's ears. I, I play McGee. I was a guest on my second favorite podcast. I just did a tiny spit take. It's all warranted.

Great Detectives of Old Time Radio. Because... Oh, sorry. Hold for applause. GDs of OTR? That's the one. Where are they based out of? Boise, Idaho.

Oh, you were like a Skype guest. Or did you fly down? No, I wish. Come on, Boise, Idaho. No. Where the stars come out to shine? Okay, yeah. Is that what they do?

I don't know. Is it say that on somebody's roof? Yeah, so they are doing Ellery McQueen, which part of that show back in the day was that they had armchair detectives, just regular folks that would try, they play the mystery to a certain point when you got all the clues. And then they would have the guests try to solve the crime and say who they thought, et cetera, et cetera. So a few of these shows that he has have sound quality issues or whatever. So they don't have that portion of it. And so he's using people from now.

Oh, funky. So I got to be one of the people. How did you get that? Well, because I listened to it. I haven't worked at all this year except this gig. Morgan, Boise, Idaho. What are you saying? How are you doing, Larry King?

Morgan, Boise, Idaho. Go ahead. You're on the air. Go ahead. You're with Piers Morgan. Oh, yeah. Why would you with Piers Morgan. Oh, yeah. Why would you have Piers Morgan as the guest? Oh, I funked it up.

That's good. It's good. It's good. So you, were you proud of how you did? I was very excited. Well, no, I was kind of mad because, so I like rules and to follow them. I think there's, you know, an order to things that should be followed.

And so, you know, it's always the way like you, you know, you have seven minutes. I do seven minutes. I don't do seven and a half minutes. I don't do 10 minutes. Right. And so it was, you know, tell me your name and your occupation and the city you're from

and then have a, you know, a theory as to who did it. He sent us the, the audio so we could listen to it in advance. And then he just interviewed us saying who we thought was, you know, the bad guy. And so he was like, we've got Morgan Brayton. She's a performer from Vancouver. And who do you think? And so I'm like, okay, so I think it's such and such and because of this and it's this guy.

And then he's like, and next we've got Dave. Dave once played the Orson Welles role in War of the Worlds, and his grandfather was a big fan of Orson Welles, so he was really proud of him, and it was something they bonded over along with other old-timers. He talked about the, he did this like five-minute intro for the guy, and then the guy had two theories. And he just went on and on.

And I was like, oh. Two theories? Yeah, it was the dentist. It was not accurate. The dentist did it with the scalpel. Darn it. Wrong show. Come off my game. He has from a scalpel.

He borrowed it from his doctor friend. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. After he got kicked out of medical school for scalping a guy. So were you right? Nope. Ah. Neither one of us were.

Even Orson Welles with his seven theories. Yeah. Yikes. So yeah. I'm not, I haven't listened to a radio show like that. Like a mystery one. Ever? No, I've listened to a lot of the old comedy ones, like Bob Hope.

I used to have him, like, Groucho's, like, You Bet Your Life and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not any of the drama things. I don't think I have. Oh, no, wait, I've listened to Mickey Spillane, Mike Hammer. But those weren't who did it at the end. You knew who did it almost immediately. Right.

And it was just him being, like, gr Right. I think we've talked about this before. I liked the shadow. Oh, yeah. And I liked, I always forget the guy's name. It was like Richard Diamond. And it was like, he was like a smart-alecky detective. They're all smart-alecky. Yeah, but he was, I liked his way.

Yeah. But the best part, you should listen to it, this particular podcast, because the host of it, whose name is Adam Graham from Boise, Idaho, has the craziest accent in the world. It's like from seven different states mixed together. Oh, okay. And it's just, he has the most unique voice. It's, yeah. So it's entertaining just for that. Yeah, okay.

I'll listen to 10 seconds of that. Exactly. That's all you need. Maybe I'll try that instead of watching because the last night I watched a movie

to go to sleep and it was the dumbest movie and I thought I watched a lot of it but then when I checked on it this morning it was only 15 minutes I watched

and I was like, ugh, check it out. It's Adam Sandler's The Cobbler. The what? Yeah. That's not even a real movie. It's Adam Sandler's The Cobbler. The what? Yeah. That's not even a real movie. That's not even click level.

What year was The Cobbler? 2014. Was it the same year as like, oh, what was the one where he and Drew Barrymore took their families? Yeah, I think same year. To Africa? Blended. Blender. Grinder. Grinder. Yeah. I think same year to Africa blended blender grinder grinder

yeah um it uh yeah he's a cobbler and then in what year present day

no yeah and then he fixes shoes with a magical machine if he puts them on the kids movie no

god no uh uh is there like a Rob Schneider swearing a lot he becomes if he puts them on. The kids movie? No. God, no. Is there like a Rob Schneider swearing a lot? He becomes. Fix the fucking shoes. He becomes the guy that the shoes belong to. He lives in the.

It's like Freaky Fridays. You got that for the first 15 minutes? Freaky Fridays with a cobbler patron. Oh, yeah. I watched the rest of the movie in the daytime. I was like, well, let's see how this whole plot turns out.

I can't go on with my day until I know. It does not turn out well. It's, oh man, it goes for a surprise twist at the end and then you're like,

nope. Who's in this movie? All of Adam Sandler's friends? No, it's weird. Adam Sandler and Steve Buscemi are the only Sandlerites.

Steve Buscemi? He's, I feel like he's making poor choices. No, it's weird. Adam Sandler and Steve Buscemi are the only Sandlerites. Steve Buscemi? I feel like he's making poor choices. No, he can knock that off in a weekend. Right. Yeah, he doesn't have to do any acting or anything. He just shows up and hangs out with his buddy. Was it like the what's that old story? The red shoes? And then does Adam Sandler dance himself to death at the end? Because that I'd watch. No. I'll tell you the plot in short. Spoilers.

Turn it off if you don't want to hear. While you do that, I'm going to look up who else is in this thing. I can tell you who else. Dustin Hoffman. What? Yeah. Dustin Hoffman's in it. There's a, I can't remember her name.

She's a great actress, and she plays a nefarious developer that's looking to gentrify the neighborhood. Ellen Barkin, maybe? IMDb has them all out of order. There's no way Adam Sandler's

10th build. But yeah yeah he's so he has a magic machine he fixes your shoes on that machine he puts on those shoes he becomes the person

whose shoes they are okay Dustin Hoffman is like the 30th name down yeah well he's not in it for very long

he plays Adam Sandler's dad who ran away years ago Helen Barkin you're right. Yeah, she was good in it. She's good as the, like, evil in everything.

She's great in everything. Exactly. Yeah. She can do no wrong. She saved Ocean's 13. Was she in Ocean's 13? Yeah. I haven't seen it.

She was the eye candy for daddy. That might be my next fall asleep movie. I've been listening lately, and your dad stuff is getting creepier by the episode FYI it used to be like Dave dad jokes now it's just like yeah for daddy

here's what daddy likes daddy's pics Ellen Barkin meow not Barkin yeah you're listening to daddy's countdown anyways he gets in some trouble

right yeah and then he gets in uh he uses it to try and save the neighborhood right right you know we gotta put on a show yeah yeah and i'll be all the performers i've got tina turner's shoes come out and do a number. But it's weird. He's not playing the character. The characters are playing him. Do you know what I mean? Oh, right.

He's embodying. Sort of like that Bob Dylan movie. Well, I wouldn't draw that line, but yeah, sure. You mean like... I think Method Man is in it. Like if Ellen Barkin had given him her shoes, then Ellen Barkin would be walking around. Yeah, going...

So is that all the auditions were? Yeah, do your best, Adam Sandler. And then, you know, so at one one point he puts on his dad's old shoes so that he can, uh, give his ailing mother like a one last dinner, which like she never questions, like, why are you back or anything?

And then she dies. Uh, and then it turns out, and this is the part that I was like, why is this the end of the movie? Uh, his friend, Steve Buscemi, who owns the barbershop next door, is actually his dad. His dad has been wearing Steve Buscemi's shoes all these years and keeping an eye.

But instead of just being his dad and like... I don't know why this movie is making me as angry as it is. No, I'm the opposite. I don't think... I haven't seen an Adam Sandler movie in 15 years. This isn't like... I haven't messed with any Zohan. But for some reason in my mind, Adam Sandler just has a lifetime past.

That guy's gold to me. Really? Yeah. He didn't have that with me. Although I'm like that with Jim Carrey. No, really? I'm not. Yeah, Jim Carrey to me like i

will see it yeah and he's done some awful stuff right no he's really abused my trust remember the the number 23 yeah i mean adam sandler's only delved into drama a couple times yeah this cobbler is basically a drama there's only like two jokes in the movie and one of them is that he poses as a handsome guy because he's got handsome guy shoes and then he goes to the then he goes to uh girl's place and they get go to get in the shower together and he remembers if he takes off the shoes he's not gonna be the guy so then he has to leave. Hilarity in shoes. Yeah, right? In shoes. That would have been like a great quote. See, they needed you writing for them. Hilarity in shoes.

Adam Sandler's agent. Yeah. The Sandler Times. Have you seen, and this will be like an enormous hit by the time it comes out. The Cobbler? No, no, no. Sorry, what I'm about to talk about. It will already be an enormous hit by the time this podcast comes out. cobbler no no no sorry yeah what i'm about to talk about it will already be an enormous hit by the time this podcast right yeah yeah yeah is that movie uh inside out oh yeah

the things inside yeah but it doesn't look great from the ads and i think they know that because they've now started ads that are that have like reviews but like it's got like 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah. And it's like the best Pixar movie since Up. And one of them was, this is Pixar's most original idea ever. But it's Herman's Head. Yeah, it is Herman's Head. But about a teenage girl? I don't know. Yeah, I guess so.

She plays hockey. She falls down. I've only seen that it's Louis Black in it. That's all I know. Right. He plays like anger or something like that. Typecast. Surprise.

He goes, he read for Serenity, but they're like, no. I used to, Whoopi Goldberg used to be my free pass and I defended her. Oh boy. That must have been an uphill battle. You don't mean that in like a relationship way of like if I ever meet Whoopi Goldberg. My wife and I have an agreement that should I

ever have the opportunity. She's on my list. What was the, has there ever been a breaking point where you're like I can no longer defend the work of, oh I'm not going to defend the work of Adam Sandler. Or that you're like Lifetime Pass revoked. Yeah, just, well, everything

on The View, I feel that way about. I feel like that show should just be renamed like, Women Morgan used to love in the 90s that now make her sad. It's like... I think it should be called Shrill O'Clock. Because it's just, whoa, let one person at a time talk.

You're all there. You'll all get a chance. What was the one on 30 Rock? That was like an ESPN show. It was sports shouting or something. It was basically just foreheads in boxes. That's what I feel like the view is. Like they don't.

Come on, you guys. You can't. That's how women are. You can't shut them up. They just talk the whole time. They don't stop talking. Who is the current view? Whoopi?

Isuzu Trooper. Isuzu Trooper. Rosie Perez. Rosie Perez. Thank you for knowing that I know that about you. I know. I love that you know that. I don't even know because I couldn't.

Because it's Whoopi. Yeah. Rosie Perez. Yeah, it was Rosie O'Donnell, but no more. Is it Raven-Symoné? It was Rosie O'Donnell twice. Right. Raven-Symoné.

I don't know if she's a full-time. Oh, God, she's another one that's just like, just don't. Because she's in the opposite chair to Whoopi, which used to be the, who is it? Hasselbeck. Hasselbeck? No. Oh, yeah. There's that other woman who's the Republican now, who's the white lady.

Yeah. She's the non-famous one. Yeah. She's always wearing a Confederacy flag dress. Just so you know, this is what I'm about. She's always got a gun on set yeah look at it can i uh all of her money's got ulysses s grant on it i honestly don't know if that's the right guy i don't we didn't learn that part of american history you know canadian school um but uh do you guys watch the

view you well you're you're a workahoman duringman during the day. And, I would never do, never watch The View. I would watch it if I had cable and I was just kicking around. When I was on paternity leave, it was on every day.

I never watched. Never? No, no. Not even a day of Hot Topics? It was on, like,

I don't mean it was on TV every day. It was on our TV every day and I didn't watch it. He sat in the same room but he refused to look at it. Yeah, no, I, I never watched it. He sat in the same room, but he refused to look at it.

Yeah, no, I never watched it. Like, I would, you know, stop if it was flipping by. And then for my show, because that's kind of the similar sort of format for my show, more to bring in other people. So I was trying to watch some to just kind of be like, how do these shows work? And it just made me sad in my heart. But your show's not like that, it well it's a it's a panel type show like that so it's five of us um it used to when we first started it was a rotating cast

of other people which is why it was called morgan brain and other people and then we changed that to be the same four guests all the time and now now we're not changing the name. Right. It's kind of insulting to my four co-hosts. But so I host the show and then it's Erica Sigurdsson, Fatima Dore, Robin Day Edwards, and Katie Ellen Humphries. And it is, we talk about, we have a one topic per show though. So we sort of can dig deep. And this, what channel is on? It's on OutTV.

Do you get that channel? I do, which I found out when I was like, honey, we have to order OutTV now that I have them. Oh, hey, we have it. Now that I have a show on it. Yeah. Because that's a very Canadian celebrity thing of like. Yes. I was thinking about how my friend once like went to rent an apartment from a guy and was a guy who was like in a big canadian rock band which would never like you'd never if this is america you'd never have like

i'm renting dave matthews basement right but like a lot of people are like oh yeah i'm on a show i don't get the chance yeah i that's i figured we should order it and was surprised to find that we already had it which is not a good sign. And is this a weekly show? It is every two weeks. Okay. We rotate with another show. All right.

All right. So it's not, you know, like is the view. They got to do that every day. I'd love to do it every day. But also, it's out TV, not, you know, NBC or whatever it is that has money. So you can't- They can't afford Morgan Brayton every day. They can't.

That's true. They can't. I can't afford it every day. But they would have, I mean, even just doing it every two weeks, we're like, okay, coming up with topics. And then I'm researching and sending out links to the cast to think about this and we'll talk about this and whatever. And so to do that every day, that would be, we'd need staff. Yeah. I'd love to.

I'd love for it to be, because it's just in studio right now, but I'd love eventually for it to be a live show. That'd be fun. We would love that. Look under your seats, everybody. I know. Put on your 3D glasses. But even on the like big Canadian shows, it's always like, you win a haircut.

That would be good. Have you ever watched Deanie Petty? I used to watch that show a lot. I watched of that. I used to watch Deanie Petty and I used to love Vicki Gabbro. Oh, yeah. Vicki Gabbro was the top. But she's the best because she can interview anyone.

Yeah. Anyone. Which is kind of, and I'm not slagging her at all, I will say, because I work with her at Knowledge Network. And she's lovely to me, but she's a little, you know, she knows what she's doing. She's been doing this for a while and she does not suffer fools gladly. And she doesn't. You did a bit of a Vicki Gabbro voice there. Yeah, yeah.

You, like, you can't, you don't mess with Vicki. No. And so, and it's, she's very, like, when I first worked with her, I was very nervous. If anyone listening doesn't know who Vicki Gabbro is, here's what you type into Google. G-A-B-E-R-E-A-U. Yeah. There you go. And she, I've only, I was interviewed by her once.

Yeah. And. Did she suffer you? Yeah, she suffered me gladly. Oh, okay. Oh, I was interviewed by her once. Yeah. And. Did she suffer you? Yeah, she suffered me gladly. Oh, okay. Oh, I'm wrong. I'm wrong then. But I got on an elevator with her.

And by the time we got to the floor, it's like we're already chumps. She's so good at it. Totally. Yeah. And I saw, I was in the audience one time when she was. Because I went. You went to the big event. I didn't show.

You said that like, like tickets aren't free. I don't mean to brag. No, but I love her. And she's kind of a national treasure, I think. She's one of those people that you're just like, she's great at what she does. Right? Yes. And so I wanted to go.

This was years ago when she had her show. And I went to see it. And the Rascals were the cast and i was like canadian rappers yes and i was like this is going to be horrifying and within minutes they like had their arms around her and stuff and we're like yeah she just cut everybody single with them later in the week exactly they're all wearing big red glasses Off the top of my bowl cup. Oh, man. Yeah, big fan.

Big fan. She's great. Yeah. Well, I hope your show becomes an everyday thing. Thanks. Fingers crossed. Okay. It's going great.

It's super fun. We have like just it's ridiculous every time. Is there clips online? Yes. I'll say yes because by the time this comes out, then I'll make sure that there is. That's true.

Yeah, yeah. You got that kind of pull. Yeah. It's up to me. You have pull there. That's just how that works. No, it's kind of, you know, I was in a an all female sketch comedy troupe for six years

and me too it's weird what was yours called oh that time of the month oh jeez yeah

oh dude very popular well you're actually reminding me so when uh changing

shifting gears here guys uh when we were trying to pick a name for the show because originally the show was going to be called funny bitch

and it was you know as the name implies a little comedy a little bitching about stuff a little ladies dishing

and then you know know, whatever. For whatever reason, we decided to change that. And so then they- They're like, oh, there's already a show on the dog network. Funny bitch. That's all we can't. So then they, we were trying to come up with a new name. And so they, the fine folks at OutTV kept sending me suggestions.

Uh-oh. Do you have them? I have some. Oh, yes. I'm just trying to find them. So, Morgan Brayton's Rants and Raves. Neat. Yeah, that sounds like a segment within the show.

Yeah. These are like, you know, okay, they're not good names, but okay. You know, Morgan Brayton's Talk Fest. Well, all right. But you know. You got to save not good names, but okay. You know, Morgan Brayton's Talk Fest. Well, all right. But that's, you got to save that for that festival you're putting up. But then there were things like Morgan Brayton's Chatterbox. Oh, wow. That's loaded.

Well, and this is the thing, right? And they, I was like, no, I know. I'm not comfortable with that. And he was like, and he like explained the innuendo to me. And I'm like, no, I know I'm not comfortable with that. And he was like, and he like explained the innuendo to me. And I'm like, no, I got it. One of those windup sets of teeth.

You, uh, you get the box is part of it. Do you understand that? That was it. Uh, and I was just like, no,

I don't think that my vagina needs to be part of the title. Um, uh, yeah, sorry guys. I'm really not trying to be difficult of the title. Sorry, guys. I'm really not trying to be difficult, but all I can think of are guests' vaginas when I hear Chatterbox.

So, yeah, it was a lot of scuttlebutting with Morgan Brayton. We're going to air this in the year 1967, so it's going to be fine. That word will still mean something. Even my suggestions were terrible as i'm scrolling through them but yeah so then um i wanted to call it uh the morgan brayton show starring morgan brayton and other people which didn't fit on a like it wouldn't fit on the card yeah right so right. So we settled on Morgan Brayton and other people. I love it. Yeah.

It's easy peasy. Right? It's no Morgan Brayton's Chatterhouse. Chowder. Yeah, Chowder Barn. Morgan Brayton's Underpants Show. Yeah. Genitalia with Morgan Brayton.

Dave, what's going on with you man guys i'm gonna bring down the room go ahead um i uh well i

we will have already talked about this on an earlier show we'll put something in uh but uh my good friend and a friend of yours yeah

uh pat plazic passed away this week and i want to thank everyone who um sent messages messages wishes missives um who passed away this week. And I want to thank everyone who, um, sent messages, messages,

wishes, missives. Um, uh, it was very, it's very sad. And it's, um,

uh, yeah, I just, I like everyone who donated to his cause. It was great. Everyone, it was like, I know it made him feel really good that so many strangers

uh supported him and it makes me happy to know that he knew how many people cared about him uh and so it's been a rough couple of days uh and i feel like when i was a kid like i had parents friends died and like grandparents died and it was like parents, friends died, and, like, grandparents died, and it was, like, nothing? Like, nothing to you? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and you, like, your mom's sad for days, and you're like, what? Can I go play? Yeah, yeah. That's what Margo's thinking right now. Like, when does fun commence? But it's weird when you're an adult. Because, like, as a kid, you have no ability to process it But you have nothing but time

Yeah Whereas as a grown up you've got It's like a difficult thing to process But you also get distracted by like Raising a child Or like just Yeah you gotta go out and do stuff Like you'll be sad for a long time

And then suddenly you'll be like Oh we gotta eat that yogurt before it goes bad. Yeah. Yeah. You have responsibilities. Like, this is where I'm going to shift gears. Oh, into yogurt talk? No.

Oh, nuts. It was, I had to do the show that we're doing right now, so I have to come up with things to talk about. Sure. So, today, what I did, I went to McDonald's. Uh-huh. show yeah that we're doing right now so i have to come up with things to talk about sure so today what i did i went to mcdonald's uh-huh and do you know what they're serving right now uh i know a thing that they're serving say it red velvet no things red velvet uh no it's not that flurries that does sound good no that's something they're definitely serving It's not real red velvet I understand what red velvet is

They didn't chop up An old Santa costume What is red velvet then? It's a red dye And chocolate Used to be beets And chocolate But that made everyone's pee weird

Yeah that's why That's why we didn't want Russia to win in the Cold War Because we'd be drowning in gazpacho No the other one Yeah Borscht Whatever Weird

Yeah weird red suits Weird red things Goulash isn't one of them But it sounds weird Yeah Anyway so McDonald's right now, no longer at the time of this episode's release, but it's been doing the Tastes of Canada. And they had like the Western beef burger, which is something living out West they've never had. No.

They're lying to the whole country. But wouldn't out like way West, wouldn't it be like the salmon something? They didn't. Yeah. They only had four. Okay. Western beef. Yeah.

Montreal poutine. Maple poutine. Gross. No, it's probably fine. Oh, I bet it's not. It's McDonald's fries. I'm going to frame on this one. How can you?

No, it's going to be great. And the Ontario chicken burger. Fine. Fine. Whatever. Good one. And what I had today. Splobster? McLobster.

Yeah. How was it? How, first of all, how expensive was it? $7. It was a $7.85 with tax. Woof. Yeah. That's, how many, I haven't been to McDonald's in almost a decade.

How many burgers can you get? Let me tell you what it's like to go into a McDonald's. Here's what it's like to go into a McDonald's in 2015. Go on. It's still a leprechaun. Still the island of Dr. Monroe. And when you haven't been there in a long time, you get the feeling that like you're an outsider and all these people are regulars. Although nobody has any idea how to line up.

Oh, yeah. I was talking with past guest Erica Sigerson and she talked about going to McDonald's and just wanting to get something small, quick. And so she asked the girl for, she's like, oh, I'll get some McDonaldland cookies. And the girl was like what what are you saying and she's like you know the cookies you have here and she's like we have these like brand things oh yeah you know like she's like we have these cookies this was they used to have chocolate chip and the like ones yeah they did like all the characters they have neither now animal cracker flavored they have like a soft oatmeal cookie.

Oh, they're so healthy. Well, that's, my son is always trying to, because he's a kid, so he loves McDonald's and that's all he, every time, you know, we're going to go out for a nice meal, we're driving to the place and he's like, there's a McDonald's right across the street, we can go there instead.

And I lose my mind. I'm like, we're not supporting McDonald's. And I rant about you know beef production and wages and it's he doesn't he doesn't care yeah um but they he's always saying they have those new veggie wraps and you love them because one time i ate one was like it's not that like if you have to eat something it's not that bad like the food's not good for you it's delicious though that's how they're's not good for you. It's delicious though. That's how they're the most popular place in the world.

That is kind of, it's a weird, I think because it's when you get it into your system when you're a kid. Yeah. And so it always triggers that weird part of your brain that's like, yeah, this feels good. And I don't go to McDonald's, but maybe once a month. Like, I'm not, oh, I haven't been in years. And I'll go if they have a weird thing. Well, Graham's a vegetarian. Yeah, there's very little on the menu.

Graham, there's no veggie wraps. You love those. Are you a vegetarian? Yeah. Oh, you should go to McDonald's. I had a veggie wrap at Church's Chicken one night. I was drunk, and it was the only place that was open. And it wasn't bad.

Like, for drunk food, just keep it in mind. Keep it on the Rolodex. Because it was, like, fried in the batter that also contains chicken. So that's probably why it tasted so good. I think the guy balanced it on a chicken as he handed it to me. So we, I went with

a couple of my coworkers and like, the last time I went to McDonald's was because they had the, it was Easter and they had the

Cadbury Cream Egg McFlurry. Oh yeah. Which was so gross. And was total, total lie. They didn't really, like there was no Cadbury Cream Egg in it.

No, it was just like the component parts that they, like the goo. Yeah. They had't really... Like, there was no Cadbury cream egg in it. No, it was just... It was just, like, the component parts that they... Like the goo. Yeah. They had a special goo hose. They had a goo ketchup bottle. Goo bag? Yeah. Check out the goo bags on...

And, uh... My fear was that it would be, like be like a McNugget. Like they're all in like one of four shapes. And so it would just be like a lobster claw made of meat that's been pressed together. Like how McRibs are shaped like ribs. Yeah, totally. Oh, is that what it is?

No. Oh, that's almost a shape. Yeah. So you get a guy. It guy died red it the thing is it looks delicious like it's lobster meat there's there's a uh uh like a old canadian lie rumor that's been around for years about like poor people in newfoundland out east uh like growing up uh all the poor kids ate lobster rolls and the rich kids got bologna.

Is that not a thing? Well, maybe it's a thing, but it's like... But out there, the lobsters are everywhere. They're falling off the trees out there. I feel like that's one of the things of like a World War II person being like, my first toys were shrapnel. I loved them.

A World War II person? Is that a person who was born in World War II? Yeah. Okay. I had shrapnel and I loved it. Yeah.

I hated Nazis and I loved it. You got a real charge out of hating Nazis. Okay, so I get it. One person had already had it. Yeah. It it is so good it's not like a hot dog bun it's like a real good like lobster roll bun and it's just it's a real meat in there with let me tell you it's it's a it's a mcdonald's bun yeah which have their own flavor yeah and uh it's a McDonald's bun. Yeah. Which have their own flavor. Yeah. And it's got

lobster stuff in it and like celery. Lobster stuff. Yeah. There's a couple you see claw meat and yeah.

But it's like chunks of meat. Yeah. It's not just like a you know tuna can full. That's what I was going to say. It sounds like cat food

but yeah. Yeah. It's not cat food. It's like it's got chunks of things and it was the most flavorless thing I've ever eaten. Sounds like cat food, but yeah. Yeah, it's not cat food. It's got chunks of things. And it was the most flavorless thing I've ever eaten. It was like there's celery in it, and the celery was like the most flavorful part.

It tastes like explosion. Yeah. Is it in a sauce? It's got like a sort of a... Special sauce. Yeah, like a little... Maybe a little mayonnaise or something. Yeah, okay. But it was gross.

It wasn't gross. It was bland. And my whole life, I love lobster. I've always dreamed of having a milk lobster. Well, just the idea of going out east where a lobster isn't $45. Yeah. But isn't the big thing with lobster, and I don't know because I've never had it, but it's the butter seems to be the whole show.

Yeah. Yeah, you want to dip it in butter, preferably garlic butter. Yeah. But you could dip business cards in garlic butter and they'd be delicious. Exactly. So that's not really. Abby and I will do a double dipper special sometimes. Listen, that, I don't need to know much, your private weird thing.

We, uh, uh. Kids wait. Double dipper special. Sometimes frozen lobster tails are on sale at the IGA, like two for $13 or something. And I put them on the barbecue. And I also make, I steam some artichokes. And these are two things that you dip in butter. Yeah.

For a guy who's as fancy as you, who's like, I'm making my own artichokes at home. I love that you were just the holy grail of the, yeah. Yeah, that's. I didn't think it would be the holy grail. You're going to set your sights a little higher. I love a $7 lobster thing. Yeah. But no, I don't. I don't.

You do. But there's some things... It's good hangred. Good hangred? There's some things that you know they're going to be bad, but yet your brain is still like, nah, but I gotta. I gotta.

I just gotta. Like when they come up with all those crazy flavors of chips. Yeah. Right? Oh, yeah. The hamburger flavored chips. Or like ribs flavored chips. And you're like, yeah, ribs.

And it's horrible. And it does taste like ribs. And that's the weirdest part. When I was a kid, I thought smoking a cigar was going to be the best thing in the world. And it turns out I was right. Yeah. So great. Really?

Yeah. I love smoking from the get. You do like even cigars that's how i started was with cigars how old were you were you a baby in a diaper top hat were you a millionaire baby yeah i know it was baby new year for some reason a rich landowner monopoly game no game. No, because you could buy, I'm sure they still sell them, they're called white owl cigars. And they're like, they're what you think a cigar looks like. Are they big and fat? Yeah, they're pretty fat, but they're not like Cubans. That's what I think a cigar would look like.

Like something like you would see, like Groucho Marx smoking, like kind of a thinner cigar. That's what white owls were. And they were super cheap and they smell like a garbage can when you light them up. But man, oh man. I do love, I love the smell of pipes. I love the smell of cigars. Yeah.

Pipe smoke. Are you shaking your head in agreement? No. I had my, uh, uh, my second car, not my green four-door Chevy Nova, but, uh, my little brown Cor little brown Corolla had been owned by somebody who smoked a pipe. And so I was about the coolest teenager going, driving around in my pipe-smelling car. I'm like, I'll give you a ride.

I'll take the bus. Oh, really? It was so gross. There was nothing your car could be that I would turn down. Yeah, as a teenager? Yeah, in high school. You get to control the radio station. Yeah, there could be a cockfight going on in the back.

I don't care. There usually was. I was just thinking about this the other day. Growing up, the car I learned to drive on was my mother's Acura Integra. Sensible. Which is like a low-end luxury car. Sure. An affordable luxury car.

I think Acura is made by Honda. It's like their luxury label, but like not so luxury that we're all leather everything. Right. Like it was a pretty sensible interior. Sounds sensible. Yeah. It was a big Accord. A fancy Accord.

But I was... Was it... Oh, yeah. You drive a... Automatic. A fancy Accord. But I was. Was it? Oh, yeah. You drive automatic. Automatic. Automatic. And a few years later, I went to school with a guy who all his friends were obsessed with Acura Integras. What?

I never got it. I don't know. And they were like. I used to work with them. And an Integra would drive by and he'd be like, ooh, sweet tagsy. Wow. And this week, I was like, I wonder if anyone else has called them tagsy. Like, him and his whole crew did, so maybe they got it from somewhere.

So, I did an Instagram tag search for the word tagsy. No, it's just maybe people, like, it was a lot of like pictures of faces. Yeah, and they were talking about it so much they had to come up with some sort of shorthand. But now it's going to be a thing. They're going to sweep the internet now. Oh, yeah. Tagsies everywhere. Show us your tagsies, everybody.

Oh, man. So, yeah, that's what's going on with me. Congratulations. Yeah. On the lobster bar, right? Yes, of course. Of course, Dave. Oh, it's also like

it's been a rough couple days and like I wasn't sleeping well coming down with a cold and I never like know I'm a little groggy I don't know if I'm

what I'm feeling if I'm like am I hungry or am I full or is my stomach upset I'll try a McLobster today yeah

today's the day to try a McLobster you know what throw one of those red velvet McFlurries in the bag i might go back gross um what's going on with you well you know similar to you i want to do things to uh have something to talk about especially since we're recording so many exactly so i gotta go out there i gotta go out there do something things aren't just naturally happening to us. That's right.

Well, you're like. Well, weird things happen to me all the time. But not twice a week. Yeah, exactly. So your advice is be your own Bonnie Raitt. Give yourself something to talk about. Absolutely. And so I saw.

You got a little Bonnie Raitt in your hair. Yeah. A couple of streaks. That's where I got my power. Looks fantastic. Thanks. Yeah. A couple of streaks. That's where I got my power. Looks fantastic. Thanks. Thanks. I saw a billboard that I couldn't make heads or tails out of what it was.

So I was instantly fascinated. And it was the billboard said, who are you cuddling tonight? And it had a picture of two people like on a couch or something cuddling up. And I was like, what the fuck is this ad for? Like I thought, ah, it's some sort of sex service or something. And so I made like a note, like I wrote it down. I'll look this up when I get home. And it's a service called Cuddle Up.

Uh-huh. Where you're a person that wants, you've got some cash, you're looking for somebody to cuddle with. Uh-huh. Or you put yourself on there as a, you're the cuddler. Ah. And you, and it's a money thing, and it's not a sex thing. It's just strictly cuddling. Cuddling.

So I put myself on the site. You did? Oh, you did. Yeah, of course. As? As a cuddler. Okay, what does that mean? You're the big spoon?

Well, I'm the guy that you're paying to cuddle with. Oh. I would pay good money to cuddle you. I might be your first customer. Have you had a customer already? No, but I wrote, I'm very soft. How long have you been on there? Just about a week, I think.

So what did you write? I said, I'm really soft. And, you know, so that's what. Yeah. Right? True. Your forearms are mighty. Yeah, that's true.

But that's good for cuddling. That's exactly what you're looking for. That's why Popeye was such a popular cuddle buddy. And anyway, so nothing's happened so far. But did you know this was a thing? I didn't know. This sounds like that. What's that one from Married People? Ashley Madison? I didn't know. This sounds like that. Uh, what's that one from married people?

The, um. Ashley Madison? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's, I feel like there's more going on with this whole cuddle website. I kind of think so too. Well, uh, I work, uh, on the podcast. I work on the Slack variety pack.

It's about tech and workplace stuff. Yeah. pack it's about tech and workplace stuff yeah uh there we did a a thing on um just like super quick uh elevator pitches right and there were i found so many real ones of like uh just ways to describe startups and apps and things and there was one there's so many that are like the uber of blank or the tinder of cuddling i guess this would be the Tinder of cuddling. I forget what it was. It was maybe the Airbnb of cuddling. There was like some of the ridiculous ones. Maybe this would be the Airbnb because there's

money involved. Right. Whereas Tinder is just... Yeah. And there was some really ridiculous ones. Like there was the Ashley Madison of careers and it was like for poaching people from their jobs. Oh. And there was like for poaching people from their jobs. Oh.

And there was like the Craigslist of breast milk. What about the Ashley Madison of breast milk? The Craigslist for breast milk, it's for bodybuilders. I'm totally trying to catch up here. The Craigslist. It's like, I mean, it doesn't necessarily need to be Craigslist. That's just how they described it, but... Okay, okay. But it's people who have body milk want to sell body milk to other builders.

Yeah. Who are building their body. Yeah. Who need milk. Got milk, sell milk, leave a milk, take a milk. Yeah, sure. It's the take a penny, leave a penny tray of breast milk. There we go. There we go.

There you go. Elevator pitch. Perfect. Yeah, so nothing has happened so far, but I'm on it. Oh, that's exciting. I think I'm looking up for you, Greg. Yeah, and my profile picture is me using a pay phone. I can't imagine why you haven't got any hits yet.

What's the website? CuddleUp.com. All right. This week. What's the website? CuddleUp.com. All right. This week's episode brought to you by CuddleUp.com. Use our promo code, Graham. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to get listeners who...

I'm into it, man. Just let them know that you're out of town. You're out of the country until August. But you can maybe do it in Edinburgh. Yeah. Yeah. And also, no cats. I'm allergic to cats. That's the only thing.

Oh, well, then it's over. Everyone on this list will have cats. Well, then the cat's got to be in another room. I'll take Benadryl. Every client will have a cat. And we have to watch the cobbler. That's my... No dice!

People then, like, are they going to write you and say, okay, here's my cuddle position preference like or like do you work out that stuff in advance i think so but i don't know what are you open to uh open face close face no getting a boner don't worry i'll tape that down or up i'll tape it somewhere yeah just it's not your problem. Yeah, don't worry. You don't have to worry about that. It'll be contained somehow. Yeah, whatever.

You know, upstairs, downstairs, whatever you like. In your lady's chamber. Yeah. Front seats, back seats. Yeah, sure. In your chatterbox. In your tagsy. I'll do it all, man.

Well, that's exciting. Yeah, yeah. So that's my new money-making scheme. Was it a billboard, like in a populated area, or like a roadside, like small town? Yeah, it was outside of a country western bar. Oh, yeah. On the side of the road. I'm just sort of imagining that moment where you saw that.

It was like that. Yeah, yeah. I was like, let's give them something to talk about. Do we want to move on to overheard? After these messages. Hi, I'm Lisa Hanawalt. And I'm Emily Heller. And if you're not listening to our podcast, Baby Geniuses,

you're missing out on stuff like... Kamil Nanjiani solving the Zodiac murders. Who's like, would you ever go to a friend and you're like, hey, could you lick all these envelopes for me? You'd be like, you're a serial killer. Definitely, I'm leaving right now. Guy Branum talking about Ruth Bader Ginsburg. And it was just a great moment of like, oh, no, I'm leaving right now. Guy Branum talking about Ruth Bader Ginsburg. And it was just a great moment of like,

oh no, I'm here, boys. Like, I'm on this side of the bench. Megan Amram talking about intimidating baristas. Just feel like they're always in character. Like, they're always in character as like, cool hipster girl. And I just want to break through that barrier. Plus, every week we explore a new Wikipedia page

and talk to a crazy expert in the field of nonsense. Well, any hack can make you not have a boner. I mean, it's about how you do it. Right. And we're the only podcast with regular updates about Martha Stewart's pony or your money back. We're not going to give them their money back, are we? No.

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Overheard. Overheard. Overheards. A segment in which we all, and you all, and all y'all, hear things, report them here on the podcast. We like to start with the guests. Thank you. Thank you. Happy to be here.

I have two because just like your bumpers, I'm stockpiling but the problem is that when something happens i i type it up into my notes on my phone but i don't i haven't put like the circumstance oh right and then i just find these weird notes and so i texted my wife henry ford and you're like i don't know. I had that once. I just had a note that said, a face like raw wood. I was like, what?

What was that for? With a body like Denzel. Yeah. It ended up in something. A face like raw wood? Yeah. Like raw wood? Maybe that was what I meant.

Like uncooked wood? Yeah. Like before you make a wood cake? Mmm. Wood cake. Wood batter? So I texted my wife today and I was like, I need an overheard. And she goes, tell that one that we heard in kids. And I was like, I don't remember, but listen to this garbage that I found.

She's like, that's the one from kids. So I have no recollection of the circumstance around it, but the overheard is, and I remember, I can hear the guy's voice in my head, so I remember it was a guy, and he said, under the right conditions, all men like to get a little head. Like this morning, I had a hard-on. Not like a pee hard-on, but you know, like a regular hard-on, and Claire asked

if she could remedy that for me. What is a pee hard-on? No, I don't! This guy's got some sort of wonder anatomy. Yeah. Which makes it impossible to pee. I don't know, guys.

I thought maybe you could shed some light on it. Oh, every time I got a good, I got like. That's how I know I need to go to the bathroom. Yeah, I get eight pee hard on today when I'm drinking eight glasses of water. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know what that guy's problem is. I don't know, but Claire is going to eight glasses of water. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know

what that guy's problem is. I don't know, but Claire is going to take care of things. But also, like... Oh, yeah, under the right circumstances. Under any circumstances.

Yeah, when I'm 20,000 leagues under the sea. Maybe Claire's a real minger. It's a British slang. It's from Harry Potter. Hi, I don't remember

that from Harry Potter. Anyways, and the other one was, I do remember this. We were at the ferry terminal. We were getting off the ferry, and there was an announcement on the PA system that said, would the customer who left a box labeled fries on the luggage carousel please come to customer service? Uh-oh. We'd buy your fries. A guy dressed like the Hamburglar. customer service. Uh-oh. We got your fries. Yeah.

A guy dressed like the Hamburglar. I think it might be mine. What's Oh, man. What were the guys? Were there guys that stole fries?

Oh, fry guys. I don't think they stole them. And then there's the they came up with the new Hamburglar recently, didn't they? Yeah. And then everybody

was up in arms? No. Yes, Dave, they did. Dave, they did. And we all fell in love with it. Now you're trying to be like, I only go to McDonald's every once a month to have a little lobster burger. Do they have a hamburglar that greets you at the door when you go to the McDonald's? Yeah, yeah.

His pants are around his ankles. I heard that guy. He's like, I gotta pee. I didn't know the story of that guy, the new Hamburglar. You've seen him. Yeah. Yeah. Anytime I try

to eat a hamburger. See him in my rear view mirror. Yeah. I just hear him creeping up saying Robble, Robble. Yeah, the call's

coming from inside the house. Side story. Well, no, first, I heard it that he was like, he looks creepy, but the goal was for him to be like a hipster. Yeah, yeah, he's supposed to be the hip new Hamburglar, but he looks like a sex criminal. He looks like in those costumes for adults catalogs, you know?

Yeah. That's what he looked like. He's like Hamburger Thief, like the off-brand one. Right, the off-brand one. No, that's what he looked like. He's like Hamburger Thief. Right. The off-brand one. Right, the off-brand.

So the thing that made me laugh was I was remembering, maybe it was you and Charlie were watching a news story. Maybe it was when you worked at City TV. Oh, the correspondent? The correspondent wearing the striped shirt, and you just kept doing an impression of her saying, Robble, robble. Robble, robble.

From Kabul, robble, robble. Yeah, you can't wear a black and white stripy shirt without, and stand next to a hamburger. Oh, man. Dave, do you have an overword? I do. Last night, we were driving home, Abby and

myself and our baby. We don't just leave the baby at home. Sometimes she drives. Yeah.

Adorbs. And a block, or like, I guess, four blocks from our house. I was bragging earlier. It wasn't really a

block. There was a guy riding a BMX bike on the sidewalk, and like another guy following him with a camera. And he like did a trick where he jumped up on his bike and like those things that stick out from the wheels. Oh, yeah. He did like a grind on a little half wall. And Abby, like sarcastically to me, went sick.

And then as we kept driving, like a second later, this 50 year old dude with no sleeves on his t-shirt just went, that's fucking sick. Yeah. He's the new hamburger. Yeah. Abby totally called it.

Yeah. Um, this sounds like, uh, a job for a Hamburglar This kind of This is a town where A 60 year old 50 year old man

Could be still skateboarding And nobody would Bet an eye Oh sure It's encouraged As a matter of fact Yeah yeah yeah How old do you guys think

Tony Hawk is? Oh That's a good question He's Gotta be Late 40s I'm gonna to say. Yeah, let's get your money out on the table.

Yeah, no, I think Graham's right because I'm going to be 45 this week, and you would definitely be about five. I know, but late 40s isn't a guess. Give me a year. I'm going to say 47. I'm going to say 50. Ooh, I'm going to say 50. I'm going to say 48.

Because I really am screwing Graham. He is. It's only cuddling. It doesn't say. Sometimes it'll say the age. But this just gives his birth date. So how many years ago is 1968? Well, I was born in 1970. And I'm going to be 45. Yeah But this just gives His birth date So how many years ago Is 1968 Oh man Oh Well I was born in 1970

Uh huh And I'm gonna be 45 So he's 47 Oh Bing bing bing bing bing bing I win a skateboard Alright Sick

You win a lobster burger Oh yay On a fresh On a McDonald's bun That's the one Those McDonald's buns I could eat those For weeks

Yeah I was like That's my favorite part So far so good I said One bite in Plenty of celery A McDonald's bun

Oh boy Yikes In a pinch The McDonald's cheeseburgers Mwah Yeah If you gotta You know

I mean Why would you gotta Cause they're good Cause they're perfectly good well that's not a pinch then that's a gotta who would be the pinch

it's the it's the only place between McDonald's is the only place between my home and where I am yeah

no like if you were on a cause sometimes you go on the road and then somebody's like yeah we're gonna stop and that's it that's all there is

we're stopping at a McDonald's a combination McDonald's KFC and Arby's like, yeah, we're going to stop. And that's it. Right. That's all there is. We're stopping at a McDonald's, a combination of McDonald's, KFC, and Arby's. Like, okay, well. Glorious. Can I just order a bun with nothing in it? And also. Yes, you can. Garlic bun.

$10,000. It's our most popular item. KFC, I cannot do. I cannot abide. Oh, no. KFC I cannot do. I cannot abide. Oh, no. And not for political reasons. Biological reasons? Well, I guess there's some politics in my stomach.

Yeah. I, yeah, that used to be a big deal when I was a kid. We got the bucket of chicken. Once a year. Happy birthday. Once a year. Maybe. Wow.

Yeah, I feel like there's no straight A's. No, it was like It was you know Everybody was fed up With everything So it was like Fuck it We'll get a chicken

Bucket and sit on the beach Love each other We're gonna do this We're gonna get Feel sick Then we're gonna watch An Ernest movie And go to bed

I was that way My parents would be like Let's go down to the west end We'll go get Greek food And eat on the beach. Greek food? Can we get KFC? You can get Greek food.

Because remember that great little Greek place that you would get it and go to the beach. Oh, my God. Well, I don't remember it. I always get KFC. Chumpy little kid. Sounds like Greek food. I've never had that. Sounds like Greek food. I've never had that. Sounds like ruins.

Yeah, I'm going to learn something about Greek food. Oh, I'll have the... I'll have the collapsolons. Oh, Poseidon's Adventure. I'll give you one Cyclops burger. Yeah. I'll have the lady with the snake hair for 500 alex um uh my overheard uh comes courtesy of i'm not sure which roommate was talking because i was downstairs and i could

but i could hear them from upstairs and uh one of them was trying to describe a scene from the movie jurassic world and uh the only phrase that stuck out for me was like you know the scene on the cliff with the lady dinosaur yeah she wears a tiara she's a very yeah she's wearing lipstick yeah lady dinosaur anyways um i'm just remembering that uh that uh someone made a photoshop thing of one of the dinosaurs with like makeup on and it says uh easy breezy beautiful clever girl oh yeah that's what the internet's good yeah um now we also have uh overheard sent into us from around the globe if you want to send one in you can send it into spy at maximum fun.org have you seen jurassic world yet nope have you i mean by the time this comes out i will have seen it right and i've You want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. Have you seen Jurassic World yet?

Nope. Have you? I mean, by the time this comes out, I will have seen it. Right. And I liked it. Yeah. No, I don't care to see it. My son went with his friend last night.

Yeah. Did he go bananas for it? Backyard bananas? What was that? I just realized we hadn't had that conversation. Inside my head, you're laughing at that a lot. Yeah. Okay.

Which thing are you going to explain? I know. He liked the movie. He liked the movie and he wasn't scared. And so that's that. And the other thing is that we, as I said, built a stage in our backyard. We are doing comedy shows all summer in my backyard called Laughs on the Lawn. And my son

wanted to, he didn't like the name Laughs on the Lawn. He wants to call it Backyard Bananas. That's pretty good. Which is also pretty good. If you want to attract more bugs, bananas are the way to do it. Oh man.

That's what I'm looking for. Wait, one more thing what have you read him the Jurassic World book uh thank you glad I got that in

uh that's pretty good that's my dinosaur sound um I say yes do you to the dinosaur thank you

say yes to the dinosaur uh I love that show on tlc this one comes from emily in tampa florida is this the third emily in tampa florida go ahead go ahead for gary colin uh a few years ago i was taking a biology class in high school and on this particular day we were learning about cloning. After we'd covered the basics, my teacher said, Really, though, who would want to clone a human being? Who would we need two of?

After a pause, a guy a few desks ahead of me confidently whispered, Bono. Yeah, two Bonos. Oh, yeah. One for later. Yeah, a group of them are called a Bonos. Oh, yeah. One for later. Yeah, a group of them are called a Bonaroo. Yeah. Bono and pro Bono.

An elevation of Bonos. I saw an interview with him very recently. I feel like he's hit this age where the glasses need to yeah go like it's you know he's still a rock star guy and everything but this particular look is is done i think the great like the rolling stones are like famous for their music uh but i think they've they really need to like be honored for being the first like old band agreed because but like you too couldn't do this without uh if like if everyone hadn't already made these jokes about the rolling stones oh that's true then we'd be making them about you too by the time uh you two was or the Rolling Stones were U2's current age, they were releasing Bridges to Babylon or whatever it was called.

So like what, of course no one wants your new album, U2. Yeah, that's a good point. Did you see the Jimmy Fallon where they did the In Disguise in the subway that U2 was playing? Oh, no. They were, you know, like had kind of costumes on or whatever, but it was like, oh, there's was playing. Oh, no. They had kind of costumes on or whatever, but it was like, oh, there's U2. Oh, really? He had the glasses.

He had that sheepskin jacket, right? And I think he had a different, he might have had a wig or something, I can't remember, but it was like, oh, hey, U2's going to play in the subway. No, you wouldn't have recognized anybody else, but he had to. They're playing all U2 songs.

Oh, yeah, I guess that's U2. Cool. Did you see the thing where Edge isn't so good with all the guitar effects? Arnold Schwarzenegger went into the wax museum? Yeah, that was a lot of fun. I didn't see it, but I saw it. Oh, really? You couldn't tell the part?

Well, no, he did the makeup like the Terminator, and then he would just stand there and people would go, oh, he looks so real. I am real. And they would run away. No kidding. And then he went up to a guy who was like a guy out in front of the Man's Chinese Theater that dresses like the Terminator. And then, like, all of a sudden you realize, like, very quickly how bad that guy's costume was.

This next one comes from Ashley. Hey, guys. How about Woman's Chinese Theater? All right. Think about that for once. Yeah. And also, maybe Japanese. Yeah.

Times are changing. This comes from Ashley in St. Louis, Missouri. Ashley, go ahead. At a mall. This is a relaying of an overheard from her fiance nick uh at a mall congratulations yeah you guys are gonna get hard to follow he overheard a guy say damn man mannequins is getting prettier than the bitches That's like something you shouldn't be comfortable saying. No, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they are doing great work with mannequins. Yeah, yeah. To the mannequin manufacturers of the world. Big ups. You're doing a great job. Yeah.

Because it used to be they were very weird looking. When I was a kid, there was nothing weirder looking than a mannequin. And kind of scary. Yeah, kind of scary. There was a Twilight Zone episode. And wasn't there a movie where that came to life? What was that called? Mannequin.

With Kim Cattrall. But that was just sexy. No, that's not it. And you rode her on a motorcycle. Didn't ride her. Put her on a motorcycle. Sang a song. What song was it?

Vroom vroom beep beep No it was like a classic 80s slow dance song Take my breath away? No damn it Those are the only songs I know Guys I'm looking it up Okay But Graham you read your next over her

And I'll definitely be listening No we all like this one So you gotta listen I like the last one so much Yeah This one is from nicole t in connecticut nicole go ahead no relation um i was talking mr t oh yeah come on guys yeah keep up with the weird narrative going through my head did you find out what the song

was i'm working on it. No, dude. Figure it out before I read this. Okay. Because you'll like this. Oh, it's a really long Wikipedia. And it's a tiny phone. Well, let's just put a pin in it. No, no, no. Oh, brother.

Let's see. It came out on DVD, region one. I don't know anything. I went past it. You know what? Mannequin Soundtracks. I'm going to look up. Oh, brother.

You think you know how to Google by now. I'm on Wikipedia. I'm in the Wikipedia app, so I should have Googled. This is bad. There's a Wikipedia app? Oh, yeah. Well, there's two. For any of you guys still listening, I apologize.

Dave's behalf. Let's see. Just paste that from here again. Oh, brother. Dave's behalf. Let's see. Just paste that from here again. Oh, brother. Oh, yeah. My neighbors haven't stopped talking about you, by the way, Graham. Oh, is that right? On a side note while Dave's looking that up.

Yeah. They're in love. The song is Jefferson Starship's Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now. And we can build this thing forever. Mannequin forever. Nothing's gonna oppose us now. Build this thing forever. Mannequin forever. Nothing's going to oppose us. Nothing's going to. And we can stand still all day because we're built that way.

Nothing's going to stop us. Nothing's going to stop us. No. You're welcome. Yeah. I looked it up. This is Nicole T. in Connecticut. I was talking to two co-workers about the arrest of Dustin Diamond for stabbing some guy in a bar.

My co-worker said, it must be a great story to tell people you were stabbed by Shriek. No, Shrek. No, wait. Shriek. No, he wasn't Shrek. Shriek. No, Shrek. No,rek. Shriek. No, Shrek. No, wait, Shriek.

Yeah, it's Shriek, right? Oh, boy. I would like to see just like a list of all the characters from like 80s and 90s TV shows and movies who were like the weird guy that they gave. Cockroach, booger. Buzz. Buzz. Snot. Yeah.

Puke. That was actually one of my nicknames as a child. Puke? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Because you puked? No, I don't know why. It's just a tough girl name.

No, it was my dad's nickname for me. It was a family pet name. Like Lil Puke? My dad called me Ralph, which is similar. Maybe it was a thing, except we were totally not the same age remotely. So my nicknames as a child were Puke.

Yeah, we've covered that. As already established. And that's it. Morgan Fat Guts. Was that your dad as well? Yeah. And Basketball Head. Oh, wow. Also your dad? Yeah. He liked you.

Right. So apparently, but one might wonder. Yeah. That's fun. I made him pay for all the therapy in my 20s. Ah, good for you. Did you really? Yeah.

Cool. Well, she called me puke. I thought we were. My dad called me scrote. Who was that from? Oh The Wonder Years How'd they get that In a family show?

I don't know This is a different time It was the 60s Yeah it was the 60s That's right Dave do we have Overheards called in? Yeah

We do If you would like to call us With your overheards The phone number is 206-339-8328 Like these people have. Hey, guys. This is Aaron from Houston calling in an overheard for my wife.

She had ordered sandwiches for her office for lunch, and they went downstairs to the parking lot to wait at the proper time for the guy to arrive. And when the car pulls into the parking lot, got the windows down, and it's a 60, 70-year-old white guy, and he screams out the window as he pulls up, he says, Holla at your boy!

He probably saw that in, like, the Paul Blart movie or something. Oh, yeah. He's like, yeah, I'm going to save that. Oh, yeah. Good. Yeah. Did you see it what paul paul blart i've seen the first one oh you didn't say no no no as my son calls it paul blart mail cop he's like can we go see paul martin we're like do you think he delivers the mail or he is a male like well we're like you saw the first one You know that he is a cop in a mall. How are you confused by this? You only retain it if you read him, Paul Blart.

Maybe that's it. Oh, boy. That's a good book. Yeah. Couldn't get it through it. No. It's only like yay thick. It's only 50 pages long.

It's dense, though. He's a slow reader, he said. Yeah. No, but it's like Catch-22. There's so much going on in every phrase. It's a lot to process. Here's your next phone call. Hi, gang.

This is Marie from Annapolis, Maryland. I went to see Jurassic World this weekend. And for the movie, there was a preview for the new Terminator movie. Yeah. So, you know, everybody's getting blown up and coming back together, doing Terminator stuff. And at the end of the preview, there was like silent movie

theater and a woman a couple rows behind me said, Dolly, there's just no killing those things. Oh, man. She's right. You think every time you think they're done. I imagine.

Oh, Lee. I'm imagining from just from the description of the trailer that it's like explosions and, you know, stuff blowing up, explosions and stuff blowing up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the very last shot is like a Terminator opening its eyes like, you haven't killed me yet. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The very last shot is like a Terminator opening its eyes like, you haven't killed me yet. I like when they tried to make one of those movies without Arnold Schwarzenegger in it. Oh, yeah. The Christian Bale one? Yeah.

They were like, no, people like the robots. Yes, people like the future. Yeah, that's what people come to this movie for. And then it bombed. And then they're like, well, even though Arnold Schwarzenegger is much too old to be a robot. Someone melted the robot. Oh, yeah. We stored this robot.

It said to store it in a dry place. We stored it in a greenhouse. It was in my glove compartment all summer with my lip balms. They're ruined. So he had the glasses and the sheepskin coat on. Yeah, I do like that. But didn't the third Terminator that also had him? It had like the lady Terminator.

Terminatrix. Yeah. That bombed too. No, it made money because I watched it recently. And you were their one dollar that put them over. Every time that I see a movie that I'm like, how the fuck did they make this movie? I always check to see, oh, well, it made, you know, $50 million or whatever. Like, beyond its budget.

Right. So, it made money. And, like, so did, like, all of the American Pie movies have made money. Even, like, American Reunion. Well, the budgets, I'm sure, went down. No, the budgets went up. What? Yeah, I'm sure, went down. No, the budgets went up. What? Yeah, I know.

I mean, but like the ones that only have Eugene Levy, they don't have to pay any of these. Oh, not those ones. But I mean like, you know. Only have? Like he's the only person in the movie? Yeah, it's a one man show. Like a one man show. Oh, yeah.

It's like Cast Away. American Pie Cast Away. Why didn't they do that? Yeah. Stranded on the island with a pie. With a bunch of pies That's pretty good I'm going to name you Wilton

Then I'm going to fuck you Alright, here's your final overheard Of 2015 Hey Dave and Graham And lovely guest My overheard is I was waiting at the Columbia SkyTrain station and this guy

who looked maybe like 15 was walking by with his girlfriend and he's singing a song to himself and the song was I'm a sex god. I'm a sex god. I'm a sex god. I'm a sex god. And yeah, that's it.

I wonder what he's trying to tell us. Do you think it's one of those songs? It's like jazz. It's like, listen to what he's not singing. Oh, yeah, it's true. He's not singing about how he's not a sex god. And he's a 15-year-old boy. Yeah.

They're the best at it. So he is. That's where you talk about everything after that is downhill. 15 is when you're at best at it. So he is. That's where you top out. Everything after that is downhill. 15 is when you're at your absolute best. When they say a woman's sexual peak is like her early 30s and a man's is like 18 or something. Yeah. What does that mean? It doesn't mean anything.

It's not performance. No, but I think it's, isn't it supposed to be like the interest? Oh, okay. Yeah. Which that's why so many of those lady teachers end up sleeping with their students. With their, yeah. And you know what? That's why everybody's like, well, can't beat science, man.

Yeah. That's why all those ladies have gone free. Because scientists. That's what they have been. Scientists argues in court. What are you going to play with science? Yeah. They play the hot for Teacher video.

Your Honor, look, this is a rock band. They could have slept with anybody. They wrote a song about being hot for teacher. Exhibit A. They've got it bad. That was Janet Gretzky in that video. Is that right? I don't know.

I might be wrong about that. No, but that's tickling something at the recesses of my brain now. I don't mean to. You've got it bad. I am at my sexual peak. I brought my pencil. Give me something to write on. No, fuck you.

But bring your own stuff. If you're not going to come to class prepared. Bring your own Hilroy notebook. We provided one Hilroy notebook for everybody at the beginning of the semester. Bring your own Hilroy notebook. We provided one Hilroy notebook for everybody at the beginning of the semester.

Where's your Hilroy notebook? Give me something to write on. Now that brings us to the end of the episode. Morgan, what do you want to plug? This is coming out

at the end of July. The 27th. So happy birthday to any Leos. Happy birthday to my cat, Freddie Mercury Retrograde, whose birthday is on July 25th. The big listener? He's a real huge fan of the show.

Oh, wow. Yeah. So he's going to be one year old. Yay. So you're all invited to his party. Yeah, I have Morgan Brayden and other people on OutTV. Yeah. And that's it.

Your backyard comedy shows are invite only? The Laughs on the Lawn are invite only. If you know somebody, if you can get hooked up, if you are safe and you will not rob me or get me evicted from my house, then you can come. And if you don't have cat allergies. Well, but there's not cats in the backyard. I'll tell that to Graham and Charlie. Did you guys get itchy?

No, I was fine. Oh, okay. I'll tell that to Charlie. Well, Charlie, that's a whole different. He gets itchy when you talk about cats. Yeah. So we can't help him. He gets itchy when you eat lasagna because it reminds him of Garfield.

Garfield. Man, oh, man. Jim Davis is a genius. We all agree that Jim Davis is a genius. Absolutely. But I do have a show in my backyard called Laughs on the Lawn that we settled on. That we can't plug. Well, but we can.

Wait a minute. What happened to Backyard Bananas? I know. I think we might have to alternate names or something. Okay. But it wasn't. So when I called my dad to ask him for advice for building the stage. Yeah.

And for like advice on naming naming the show and he's like what about puke basketball head yeah basketball head takes over basketball head's yard basketball head's yard that's what it's already called so i called my dad and uh so i was telling him what i wanted to do and asking for his advice and he was like, why do you, what do you need a stage in your backyard for? Like, he's my dad, he should know.

Yeah. I need a stage everywhere I go. But I was like, to have shows in my yard? I was like, we're going to have

comedy shows in the yard. We can call it like laughs on the lawn or a gas on the grass or cards in the yard and my dad said, flatio on the patio.

Yeah. Yeah. Classic Tom Braden. Yeah. Words that rhyme. Yeah. I don't think, yeah,

backyard bananas isn't bad at all. No, it's good, right? Yeah. He's got a pretty good little comic sensibility, that kid of mine. I'm not going to lie to you.

Yeah, that kid's all right. His, my favorite was, we were going for a bike ride, and my wife said, can you grab my pannier? And he said, your pannier west? Fun.

When can we have him on the show? Yeah, you totally should. Do we got anything we got to plug? Oh, boy. Everybody have a good summer. Quit talking like Hagrid. We're going to move on. Yeah, Hagrid over here.

Oh, boy, you're a wizard, Harry. Anyway, I'm in charge of beards. Graham, where will you be? Well, if this is the end of July, I'll just be heading off to Edinburgh. So catch you at the airport. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pick me up at the airport. Look for a ride to the airport. Yeah, I already got an offer for somebody to take me out for drinks after one at the airport. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pick me up at the airport. Look for a ride to the airport.

Yeah, I already got an offer for somebody to take me up for drinks after one of the shows. Nice. Yeah, things are happening. Will there be cuddling? Well, if the price is right. You know what I mean? Don't cuddle at that J.K. Rowling cafe. Yeah, exactly.

What else is there? Is it Castle in Edinburgh? Oh, yeah. It's got a whole mile. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll go to the Royal. Royal. what else is there is it Castle in Edinburgh oh yeah it's got a whole mile yeah yeah oh yeah I'll go to the Royal it's a royal

mile ooh ooh maybe get some KFC go to the beach um and if you like the show check out the blog recap

uh pictures and videos from uh of things we talked about on this episode oh that that uh Fifth Dimension song

most definitely what was that was it oh it was Jefferson Starship not Fifth Dimension song, most definitely. What was that? Oh, it was Jefferson Starship, not Fifth Dimension. Yeah, sorry. Nothing's gonna stop us now. Men with Quinnies. I don't know what else. What else? Hagrid. Oh, the

McLobster. Oh, yeah. I took a picture. I'll share it with you guys. Cuddleup.org. Cuddleup.gov if Cuddleup.gov. If you want to get a grant for your cuddling. And thanks so much for being a guest. Hey, thanks for having me. It was a treat.

Oh, delightful. If you like the show, please tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.