Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 388 - Caitlin Howden

Episode Date: August 24, 2015

Caitlin Howden returns to talk about the Women's World Cup, a cataclysmic earthquake, and an '80s movie marathon. Also, the sad conclusion of Hulk Hogan News.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 388 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark, and with me as always is a man who's now so beardless, so fresh and so clean, Mr. Dave Shumka. I've been beardless for weeks. Oh yeah, we just haven't seen each other.

That's true, but it's new to me. So here's what's up, listener. Graham and I were fighting. Yeah. We're in the middle of a big. He said, he said. Yeah, he left the country. No, he left the town.

No. I left the country. I left the stove on when I left. I feel like explaining this would be so convoluted. But anyway, we were pre-taping a whole bunch of episodes because Graham's away all summer. Except right now. Yeah. Which is also pre-taping a whole bunch of episodes because Graham's away all summer. Except right now. Yeah. Which is also pre-taped.

But he went away and now he's back and then he's going to go away. Yeah, yeah. So when this is the mid of August, this one comes out? Sure. Okay. I don't have that information. Anyways, welcome to the dog days of summer. The DDS. Dog days of summer.

DDS. DDS. That's a dentistry term. days of summer the dds dog days of summer dds that's a dentistry term um and our guest today uh one of our faves very funny lady part of the uh sunday service uh-huh an actress save on food spokeswoman i understand miss caitlin no mrs caitlin howden what are you writing notes for she She wrote me. She's got laryngitis, so she's apparently writing down notes for us. This one says, so far, so good.

Okay, thanks. Hi, guys. Thanks, producer. Great penmanship. Yeah. Can we call you Roz? Ooh, you'll be our Roz. Well, it's funny because I am wearing an oversized white blouse.

Oh, yeah. Which is very Roz of me. That is very Roz of you. I think of her in like lingerie. Ew. I do a lot of, I write Roz. What do you write? Roz. Not fan fiction.

Erotic. It's erotic. No, no. It's not erotic. I'm writing a story where Roz has to pose for Sexy Radio Producer magazine. What is this magazine? It's a weekly. Yeah, it's an industry.

It's for sure a zine. She was the slutty one on? Yeah. I guess that was her. She wasn't, but she talked a lot about sex. But that doesn't mean that she was the slutty one. Yeah. If anyone was the slutty one, it was that old man.

He didn't get around very much. Martin Crane? Yeah. He was the slutty one. If anyone was the slutty one, it was that old man. He didn't get around very much. Martin Crane? He was the slutty one? Oh, I hear that old people have sex way more than young people. What? Where? Who told you this? An old person? One, I mean, isn't like chlamydia really up in

like old folks homes? Yeah, I think so. But that's because they don't... Oh, you're right. Okay. That's because they don't wear protection because, you know, you don't have to because you're not going to have babies. Yeah. And if you do, what a miracle. Yeah.

And also, there's a lot of outbreaks on cruise ships. I wonder if that's related. Not chlamydia, but, like, Norwalk. Yeah. Close quarters. They always say that on the news whenever there's like a disease outbreak on a cruise ship.

It's Norwalk or a Norwalk-like disease. Oh, it's like Norwalk? Nor run. Nor crawl. These are different. Nor none. Guys,

let's get to know us. Get to know us. Yeah, maybe Martin Crane was the slutty one. Now that I'm thinking about it. He always had a bit of a pep in his step. What about Gil Chesterton? He was, I think he might have been the slutty one. He was another radio host on that show?

Yeah, I think he hosted a cooking or like a food review show. He was even Frazier-ier than Frazier. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, he made Frazier look like a real tough guy. He was even Frazier-ier than Frazier. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, he made Frazier look like a real tough guy. And then Bulldog. Oh, yeah, Bulldog was totally a slutty character. Whoa, that show was just full of them. Anyways, how's it going, Caitlin?

Great. Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks for coming back on the show. Once a year, I will show my face to you in this basement. And that was a promise I made you three years ago. That sounds like a curse. This is our final one. Oh, no.

Yes. Well, it's been fun. You know, a curse is kind of a promise. Oh, yeah. A curse is a promise to the dome. Yeah, that a witch makes. A curse is a promise a cr dome. Yeah, that a witch makes. A curse is a promise a crone makes. Thank you, David.

Have you been having a good summer, Hex? I've been having... I've had a great summer. Yeah. Are you a summertime lady? Love the summer. What is your... Do you go to the beach?

No. I just, you know, like... You just walk around. It's just nice being inside inside knowing that outside is nice. Yeah. You know, it's nice to be inside going, you look at the window and you go, wasn't that nice? Ooh, nice. That's nice.

And you close the blinds facing upwards so that the heat reflects off the metallic part. Yeah. Keeps your apartment nice and cool. Ooh. You have blinds on the sunlight, sky roof? I've got a lot of windows in my place. Okay. I've got a lot of windows.

And do you have a nice view where you live? Because you live in the downtown area. That's like, it's known for its views. When it was really smoky in Vancouver a few weeks ago, or I guess, you know, maybe last month, from all the fires, I could see it rolling in over the mountains. And I was like, this is so cool and great. And then I found out what it was and I went, oh. Oh, it's smoke. Oh, it's smoke.

It's not a magical mist. Everybody, wake up. A magical mist is rolling in. It's fun. We'll be fine. I'm the... Yeah, like in all those Stephen King books. Yeah.

I guess the one. Yeah, the mist. The mist. Have you seen the mist? No. I won't watch scary movies. Ever? No, thank you.

What about the Wayans Brothers scary movies? Oh, like scary movies? Yeah. One, two, three, four, five, and seven? Uh-huh. I will watch those. Number six, they hand it off to a different brother team. Yeah, that was made by the Wachowski brothers.

Yeah. Made by Owen Wilson and his brother. Paul Rudd. Remember when Luke Wilson was in movies? Yeah, yeah. Did I see him in something recently? Luke Wilson? Yeah, like maybe in a TV show or something.

Was he playing tennis somewhere? That would have been Richie Tenenbaum. That would have been the Royal Tenenbaum. Oh, yeah, that's what it was. Was he playing baseball? That's his brother, Mookie Wilson. Is that a real thing? Mm-hmm.

Okay. Why do all baseball players have names like that? They all do. I feel like all baseball players have silly windy names. Yeah, like who? Dumb? What? I don't know.

Home base. Who's on home? Home bases. Who? Home base is on home. Who? Home base. Is on home?

Exactly. I think that's how the joke goes. Yeah, who's he married to? His wife. She picks up his money. So, yeah, they all have crazy names. Mookie Wilson, Mordecai Three Finger Brown, Satchel Paige.

No current players have fun names. Yeah, I guess not, eh? Nothing wacky. Rusty. Oh, I guess not, eh? Nothing wacky. Rusty. Oh, Roly Fingers. Oh, there was a Rusty Cunts. That was a real guy.

But that was his birth name. That was his Christian name. Really? Yeah, but it was probably pronounced Coons. Was it Coons? Yeah. Poor guy. Well, he's fine.

He became a famous baseball player. Everything worked out for him. He's fine. I don't know that. I'm sure he's fine. You think so famous baseball player. Everything worked out for him. He's fine. I don't know that. I'm sure he's fine. You think so? Mm-hmm. Okay. She's writing down more notes. Oh, man. Cancel away.

I was hosting the Vancouver's. Okay, let's get into this. You've been having a great summer, the highlight of which has been... I was the MC. Master of Ceremony. Or the... Mistress of Ceremon... I was the MC. Master of Ceremonies. Or the... Mistress of Ceremonies.

FIFA fan zone, which was a city block. Okay. Cornered off, made into a giant beer tent. Okay, so this is a domed or tented area. At the Women's World Cup. Yes, Vancouver is one of the host cities of the FIFA Women's World Cup. This year, Canada was the host country. So there was games in Vancouver, Edmonton, Montreal, I think.

St. John or St. John's. Halifax. Maybe Ottawa. Winnipeg? Winnipeg, maybe. Lots of cities had lots of soccer boys. Yeah, girls. Soccer girls.

Soccer girls, that's right, yeah. And... PUA! Is it over? It's over, yeah. Who won? America. The USA won.

It's nice that they get a win. Well, they were playing against Japan, and the US scored five goals in the first like six minutes of the game. Wow. Keep in mind, this is a 90-minute game. And it's also soccer. And it's also soccer. Yeah, where one goal is scored.

Yeah. There's plenty. Yeah, that's enough for a first half. Oh, it was a bit of a devastating match. America's rivalry with Japan goes back to 1992 when Ken and Ryu fought in the streets. I thought you were going to say World War II when they were enemies in war. No, no, no. They solved that.

Yep. They quashed that beef. Squashed that beef? I'll allow it. Yeah, okay. I'll allow either iteration. And then for years they were peaceful. Yeah.

Japan made calculator wristwatches and America ate them. It was a symbiotic relationship. Well, say goodbye to that peaceful relationship made like calculator wristwatches and America ate them. Yeah. It was a symbiotic relationship. Well, say goodbye to that peaceful relationship because this was a bloodbath of a match. What was the final? Do you know the final score? Something like 5-2.

Oh, okay. So they did all their scoring in the first six minutes. And then they just made the other team run. Oh, no. But, you know, it was a... They made them do burpees. And wind sprints. But they're fit. Yeah.

Hope Solo, that's a funny name. She's the goalkeeper for Goaltender. Sure. I don't know anything... Innkeeper is what you're thinking of. Thank you. She's the goaler. She's the innkeeper of where I stayed when I was hosting the FIFA fan zone.

She's the bat catcher. I had to say FIFA fan zone a lot. Uh-huh. Okay, what goes on at one of these FIFA fan zones? Yeah. You go up in front of a group of people who don't know there's an event. Well, no, they do know. They've come into the fan zone.

But do they have tickets to the match? Are they there because they can't get into the match? Both. People will come there for the pre-party. Sometimes the match is playing in a different city. So they're just going to come and watch on these giant screens. Oh, fun. Yeah.

And there's like picnic tables and food carts. And I get out there and I go, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your emcee for the event, me. And then did you do a spin? And then I walk proudly across the stage once. There you go. And then I walk a second time waving. And when the day starts, there's maybe. You got to make your own fun.

You got to have fun. You know what? Because at noon, there's about 30 people there. Oh, this starts at noon. It goes from noon till like 9 p.m. Oh, boy. And I did it for 17 days. But you're not on stage for nine hours.

No, I get on stage and I go, are you ready for a game? Or then I'll say. Are you allowed to say, are you ready for some football? Well, you know what? It's funny you say that, Dave, because on my very first day, I was going to go intro. We were going to watch a game that was happening in another city. And I said, all right, you guys, are you ready for some hockey? And I didn't realize I said that.

Oh, you didn't mean it as a joke? I had no idea. Until I came off stage. I thought it was all the same thing. I thought I said soccer. I thought for sure I said soccer. I was saying it in my head. Say soccer.

Say soccer. Say soccer. Say soccer. So you went out there and you said, soccer, everybody. Are you soccer for some hockey? No, but I went on stage and I was like, okay, you know, the match is about to start. You call it a match. Yeah.

And for, because you were nervous, it was helpful to picture everyone with soccer balls for heads. Yes. And tiny hats on top of those soccer ball heads. It. And tiny hats on top of those soccer ball heads. It was very sweet. And then I got up there the second time

and I went, okay guys, here we go in three, two, one. And at that moment my brain said,

you know what you're going to say, don't you? You know how I'm going to betray you right now, don't you? And I could in that

moment go, no, please no. No. And I said, in three two one hockey so this is twice the first two times one day that was a hot hour yeah i did like yeah did anybody did we can't stress this enough. This is a soccer event. Did you get booed? No, because I don't think anyone ever listened to me.

No, why would you? No. You're at a thing and they've decided to put a person on stage. I didn't come here for that. I'm literally there to go, all the way from Victoria. Please welcome this Calypso Jazz Band. Oh. Featured at the Taste of Vancouver Jazz last Monday afternoon.

Oh. This band, Calypso Party. Uncalypso time in the sucker town. Everybody's doing calypso dancing. Calypso. Hockey. Oops. So, was it...

I'm a good songwriter. Yeah, you're great. I can do any genre. You're this generation's that guy from whose line is it anyway? What's his name? Wayne Brody. That's the guy. Yeah, you're this generation's Wayne Brody.

Yeah, that's what you are. Wait, no, Layne Staley. Yeah, that's what you are. Wait, no. Layne Staley. So did people show up towards the evening where there was an actual crowd? Thousands of people. Really? Thousands of people.

By 9 o'clock, there were thousands. Wow. And was it mostly like, make some noise? A lot of, I can't hear you. That's fun. And then who wants a free t-shirt? And then adults, grown-ups, rushing the stage for free shit. Yeah.

And did you throw it or did you get a cannon? No, I didn't have a cannon. You don't have a cannon license. I don't have a cannon. I do not have a cannon license. But I do. I can can. I can can things.

I can preserve. And I can also can can. I have a canning license. And you can can can. Yeah, and I can can can. I can can things. I can preserve. And I can also can, can. You have a canning license, and you can can, can. Yeah, and I can can, can. Is it true that the lyrics to the can, can are can, can, can you do the can, can, can you do the can, can? I can do the can. Okay. So, adults pushing kids out of the way, no doubt, to get free stuff.

To get free t-shirts. They're all 2XLs. A lot of FIFA hats. Stuff we couldn't sell. And then I had kids coming up to me. Who doesn't want to wear something that just says FIFA? Yeah. Yay, the organization.

And wasn't the thing happening right at the same time as this huge corruption scandal was happening. It was all happening in the same kind of bubble of time, right? Well, time is an infinite bubble. Well, it's a flat circle, as I understand it. Time's a circle? Mm-hmm. Oh, what? A flat circle.

Why? Because True Detective season one was much more quotable. Yeah. Oh, this new season. I mean, it'll be over by the time this comes out. And it'll have redeemed itself.

Do you think? No. It's being written by a 12-year-old boy. Have you watched it? I've watched one episode and then I was like, I can't.

This is too dumb. There's a 12-year-old boy on the show that's the greatest. The little redhead? Yeah, he's the best. I've sent him a message on Twitter.

Great job on True Detective. He's only got like 500 followers. Oh, wow. Get in early. Yeah, yeah. Get in on the ground floor, this guy. No, you're not investing. I feel like I am.

I feel like this kid's going to be big. I feel like I used to be that way with Twitter. I was like, I was one of this person's first followers. Yeah, yeah. I can't unfollow them and refollow them. He's great though because he just, he makes that show.

A little kid with his funny haircut. Okay. Oh God. So that's day one. That's day one. Two missteps. Yeah.

And then everything after that was just like fun food carts and I got to, I did get to be on Fox News. Okay. Oh, like actual Fox News. Mm-hmm. We did a live-to-air broadcast.

Calypso broadcast. No, this time it was with this year's American Idol winner, Adam Senefis. Oh, my God. Yeah, he won. Oh, he did? Yeah, he won. And then afterwards, he played a song.

Okay. Did he have long blonde hair? Or a different type of hair? No, he had hair, but it was shorter, tinier hair. Tinier hair. A darker shade? Mm-hmm. How many?

So he was here in Vancouver? I'm so sorry, Graham. I should have told you. And I know you were such a fan. I was very excited. Thank you. And I know you were such a fan. I was very excited. I love you. What, but when you were on Fox News, it wasn't, you weren't like their correspondent wearing like Fox News hats.

No. Ladies and gentlemen, Lita Wise. No, I just went, I just, I think they just heard me say, Because they didn't tell you his name either. No. And then me just slumping off the stage. From Ermartikanoidal. Krenstefandenreptilioid.

Make some noise. The only times I said make some noise. Was it always the same noise that people made? Did they ever mix it up? Oh, we brought shakers. Yeah. Boo. No, don't make that noise.

There was this group called the American Outlaws that came. And there was maybe. What makes them a group? 500 of them. But like, do they have meetings? You mean like what number makes a group? No, I just mean like, we call ourselves the American Outlaws. And what's your deal?

They have a website. Oh, well, so does Procter & Gamble. Well, that's a group. Well, they're a group. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, then you're listening. They have a group and a webpage, and they are called the American Outlaws, and they come up to these...

American events? Any kind of soccer event, really. That America's in? Yes, to support America. Oh, okay. I thought they were going to be a biker gang or something. No. No.

Did they have a uniform? They all had a t-shirt. Oh, did it have a guy shooting guns in the air? Yeah, was it Yosemite Sam? No, I don't think so. I think it was just like of a soccer ball going, we'll go where it goes. Oh, that's fun. So all ages, all shapes and sizes.

All shapes and sizes. People who are like, you know what? I'm an American. Don't care for baseball. I know I should like football, but I don't. I'm different. I'm an outlaw. I like soccer.

Yeah. I don't care for baseball, but I am looking for a sport where a long time happens where nothing happens. Yeah. There's long stretches of just nothing. I want to like soccer, but I don't want to live in Europe because they're a bit loose with their morals. No air conditioning in Europe is what I heard. Oh, yeah. No.

No doubt. Bad Wi-Fi connections everywhere you go. Were they a good crowd, the American Outlaws? They were very passionate. Yeah, they made their own fun, I bet. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Was this a dry zone or an alcohol zone?

There was alcohol. There was beer. But there were children allowed. Yes. How progressive of us. I know. It's like the little international waters in the heart of downtown. Mayor Gregor Robertson was there a few times.

Yeah. And he had commented on how this was a first for the city to have, you know, a beer garden that was all ages. And was, now, what was the. And everyone was like, shut up. Don't politicize this. Yeah, yeah. Stop making it about politics, mayor. Did you have to wear a uniform for this gig?

Like a stewardess thing or like something Roz might wear in a calendar? Yeah, something flouncy. Yeah, something flouncy. Floral and flouncy. If by shorts that when you're standing, your fingertips should be touching the edge of, and a zip-up hoodie, then yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I had a red Adidas track jacket, and then I had to wear shorts that when you stood, the tip of your middle finger should touch the bottom of your shorts.

That was the rule in my high school. That was my rule. Oh, that's your rule. Oh, yeah. So these are funny. You're fine. Yeah. Yeah.

Boys are usually fine. My cutoff jeans that I'm wearing, the pockets are sticking out the bottom. Does that count as part of the shorts? Actually, I would love to talk to you about these cutoffs that you're wearing. They are awesome. Thank you. I thought you were going to say awful. I was very worried. No, but my face does make the same thing at the beginning of both of those words. Awful. Awesome.

Awesome. awesome um and was uh is this a uh is this like how did you get this gig how did this did this just land in your lap were all the hosts female was it a big uh

spice world and in spice world who are you in in honor of uh uh the the women's world cup did World Cup, were the jazz bands female? No. No. The all-female jazz band was booked. Oh, no.

That's what they're called? Yeah. The all-female jazz band. They're not like jazz for her. Actually, it's very smart for Google. Google has made it that. That's why they're calling themselves Spice. Actually, it's very smart for Google. Jazz for her. Google has made it that, you know, that's why they're calling themselves that. Yeah, that's true. They are the first and only thing to pop up.

The all-female jazz man. I can see their headshots right now. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, are they doing a silly thing where they're all like playing their instruments silly? Or are they all serious? They're serious, but like artsy. Oh, they're artsy. See, I picture them as like, you know,

they know what they're doing, but they can have fun. They're not afraid to play a fun song like Uptown Funk at the end of their set. As with all jazz musicians, they make most of their money as being like fun substitute teachers. Yeah. The all-female jazz band.

They did take one photo that didn't make it onto their website where they're all holding their flutes like dicks. Wait. But that's just for them.

In this jazz band they're all flute. They're also an all-flute jazz band? Wait, I forgot. We're a 29 Flute Salute. I don't know why we're sounding the way we are. All the other jazz bands I've ever seen or heard have been much louder.

Yeah. Could I get more flute in the monitors, please? Oh. But, so you were the host or was there a rotation? Was there somebody take the late shift?

Well, there was six days in the month when I wasn't able to work them. So I got two amazing women that I wish I could kiss more often.

Ms. Sophie Buttle and Mrs. Erica Sigurdsson. There you go. And so they covered for me for a few days. I think the vote's still Ms. Yeah, and I think you could... In the eyes of the Lord. Oh, right, but it's common law. Well, I don't know the law.

Yeah. Yeah. You ever heard of the Napoleonic Code? Is that like an ice cream thing? Yeah. Yeah. It's chocolate. Yeah. It's chocolate. Yeah.

White and brown. Chocolate, white, and brown? Yeah. Is there a pink in there? No, no, no. That would be the best ice cream. Two chocolates and a vanilla? Yeah.

Get that strawberry out of there. You know what? Take that vanilla out of there. Three chocolates. Why? Oh. You don't like the strawberry? No. I just want chocolate and strawberry.

Oh, it hurts my throat. What? Strawberry? Oh, I'm kicking her. It's too fake. It's too fake. It's not fake if it's real. It's very fake. Oh, just because it changed the way it acted when it became famous. Yeah. It's a phony baloney.

Yeah, that's they make a chocolateony baloney. Yeah, that's... They make a chocolate vanilla that's just like... It's like a checkerboard. Oh, that's fun. From the good folks at Chapman's. Mmm, Chapman's. I'll buy...

I'll have a courier send over some. Please. Yeah. Very slow courier, though, so it'll be kind of soupy. But, yeah. It's not even just melted.

It's now hot. It's soupy. You didn't say it's so it'll be kind of soupy. So it even just melted. It's now hot. It's soupy. He didn't say it's going to be gazpacho-y. Do you have any oven mitts? This is a bit warm. Also, there will be chunks of clam and corn. It'll be chowdery. You'll be sick when you eat this.

Yeah. So good experience overall? Yeah. Great. Great. You pay me, I will do it. Yeah. Great. Great. You pay me, I will do it. Yeah. That's great.

Okay. I just did a corporate gig for Sharp, which is a salmon hatchery and reserve project. Yeah, man. You got a gig you need me to be there for? You got it. What did you do at the Sharp gig? Did you think it was going to be Sharp, the electronics company? That was going to be Sharpies.

I was going to get some pens out of it. Oh, yeah. No. It was a Sunday service gig. Oh, okay. And did you guys go out there and make some noise? Salmon farmers. He's like, we're getting a suggestion.

And they said, oh, watershed projects. Hatchery. Hatchery. Salmon. Salmon. Use salmon. Do something with salmon, please. Get our boss up here and pretend to be his arms

oh god but he's a salmon his fins he's a salmon yeah our boss is a salmon the city of Surrey how are you your corporate voice is great

yeah yeah and so so that took place that's what I did but I stayed put yeah and then anything else Yeah. Yeah. And so that took place. That's what I did. But I stayed put.

Yeah. And then anything else? Any other fun summertime surfing? Surfing. Do you have a summertime checklist? I do. Summertime checklist? Yeah. I like to make sure I go to a baseball game.

Okay. I like to go to a beach. I want to eat. Barbecue chicken with a beer up its butt. Do you want to help a beached whale? I want to help a beached whale.

And how many have you done so far? A beached whale? Yeah. Just one. I just did one this summer. Well, that's good of you. How's your checklist going?

Because you're midway through the summer. Yeah, I'm midway through my checklist. Oh, good. Yeah, I've got those three things, four things,

and then there's four more things. What are the other four things? Eat a cold checklist. Oh, good. Yeah, I've got those three things. Yeah. Four things. And then there's four more things. What are the other four things? Eat a cold soup. Oh, yeah. Use a cold compress. Ah, yeah. Break my legs. Both of them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And volleyball. Yeah. But after broken legs. Do you just do one volleyball or a whole game? Just do one. Just get in there, do one spike.

One volley, walk out. Oh, I just want to buy a volleyball. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're nice to rest. You know what? Actually, resting a ball on your hip and then your hand on the other side of that ball is actually a very natural way to hold your hands. That's the blood dangled to your hands nicely.

The blood dangled to your head? Are you like a yoga teacher? This person's dangling blood all over the sidewalk. You know, you hold like a volleyball on your hip and your hand goes around it. No, relax,

you're on the floor. Let's do the time warp again. Oh, like that? Like I'm just like that? It's just loose. Like you're just holding the basketball,

holding the volleyball. A volleyball feels like it's a good, I don't know what you call it. Like it's not made out of leather, is it? Yeah, I think so.

Volleyballs. I always found that volleyballs had a very distinct smell. Maybe it's velour. I think it's velour, yeah. No, I think it's satin. It's a satin. It is soft. And it's got a pillowy top. And oftentimes

when I've been hit one in the face, I just fall asleep. I go right to sleep. we talk. Yeah. And oftentimes when I've been hit one in the face, I just fall asleep. Yeah. I go right to sleep. And there were times when I was so lonely that I hugging a volleyball was like, this is love. Yeah. I don't feel so lonely. I feel that way

about an unopened bag of toilet paper. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Hugging an unopened bag of toilet paper is great. Well, I don't call it a bag. What do you call it? I guess it's a package. Yeah. It doesn't come in

just like a loose in a sack. It's like arranged. But it is nice to hold. Holding it. But you don't want to hold it. You don't want to crush it because you need it later. Also, if you've ever...

Because sometimes you put on like a toilet paper that's been like crushed on the roll and it rolls all wonky. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think. But I find that more fun. Yeah, it's a thrill ride.

Yeah. I never know when it's going to break off. Will it be enough? Who knows? Also, if you gather up a small load of laundry and carry it upstairs without a basket, that's the greatest. Oh, yeah. That's nice. That's like a

warm hug that's these are all great that's uh uh great substitute traditionally contact traditionally what we've done uh with the dog is uh when we're done when if we get our laundry out of the dryer and it's warm we bring it up to him as soon as possible and he rolls around and oh yeah we're hoping to get the baby on that yeah you. You know, well, if they could... Why would you do that? Why? You just washed your clothes. You're going to let your dog roll all over you?

No, he doesn't. He's fine. He doesn't have worms anymore. Yeah, and they put Gramp in the dryer for a quick five. So he's all fluffy. He just loves it so much. That's like me when I do my laundry I just want to like feed it spaghetti right after I'm done

I just pour spaghetti on top of my laundry cause I'm like oh my laundry's hungry and I give it a whole bowl of pasta that's what I do both are good there's a jar of like spaghetti sauce yeah in my neighborhood

what there's a jar of spaghetti sauce in my neighborhood that's been out on the street like he's homeless yeah jar of spaghetti sauce it's like uh two yeah, quarter left in it. Enough to make a small thing of spaghetti. Sure. But it's just been outside for, but it's got a lid on it. It's been outside for a couple of weeks. No one's doing anything about it. You,

you know what you should do? Write a little sign, put it next to it. We'll work for spaghetti. That would be good. Or we'll work with spaghetti. These are both. Or work with spaghetti,

yeah. I want to do that right now. Use your penmanship. Yeah, I've noticed that there was, when I was in Winnipeg, that on the walk, there was a sandwich that somebody had dropped on the ground. And it was just there every day. And I just thought about that sandwich so much. Like, it was a full sandwich. Nobody had taken a bite out of it or anything. Like it was a full sandwich. Nobody had taken a bite

out of it or anything and it was a good looking sandwich too. And part of you was like, I kind of, I want to eat it. Yeah, but I didn't know how long it had been there.

You know what I mean? Plus you're a vegetarian and someone might have dropped some steak juice on it. That's true. Also, I was surprised that crows didn't tear it apart.

Like it was just sitting there all the live long day. Are there crows in Winnipeg? I don't know. Well, I know that their sitting there all the live long day. Are there crows in Winnipeg? I don't know. Well, I know that their provincial bird is the mosquito. Ah. Whoa.

Those are a big bug. Big bug this time of year. Holy jeez. Hey, I don't mind the smoking if it means less bugs. That's my Winnipeg accent. That's good. Holy jeez.

Yeah. Folksy. That's nuts. That's good. Holy jeez. Yeah. Folksy. That's nuts. That's nuts. Now do Ontario. Okay. Well, it has to be about something. Okay.

Do Ontario complaining about the roads. Whee. Almost lost a tire. Now do Montreal. Yeah, Montreal. Montreal. About what? Oh, boy. the tire. Do Montreal. Yeah, Montreal. Montreal. About what?

Oh, boy. Like rat infestation. This is not good. That's pretty good, huh? Yeah. Yukon. Do the Yukon. I would never, Graham.

Oh, really? That's so offensive. Because it's a territory? Yep. Understood. I'll never mock a territory? Yep. Understood. Oh. I'll never mock a territory. Fair enough. We all have our limits.

How was Winnipeg? Did you have a nice time? I did. Yeah. I like it as a city. It feels like a... What about as like a state of mind? Like a Winnipeg state of mind? Yeah.

Like that song. I was there just after... Concrete mosquito where it's the national bird. I was there just after the Weakerlands broke up, and that was a tough hit for the city. Oh, yeah, they hate Winnipeg. Yeah, so, yeah, maybe Winnipeg was happy. If you want to learn more about Winnipeg, listen to every third weaker than song.

No, I like it. I like it. It's like a city, but it's very small townish. Like everybody there seems to know everybody else. Last time you were there, there was no convenience store anywhere near your hotel. No, that's also this time I was staying out in the suburbs. And every time I. Flin Flon.

Yeah, I was staying in Flin Flon. Were you being billeted? No, I stayed at an Airbnb. Good for you. Yeah, look at me. Adult man taking care of business. Yeah. And I took the bus every day.

And you know what? Bus is more the same Everywhere you go That's the one thing I learned about buses People are awful The worst of the worst Taking the bus People don't seem to understand

That talking and having a huge conversation On the bus like you're in a restaurant Is not for the bus Oh it's fine, it's fine. That's fine. There are like a thousand worse offenses on the bus. Oh, and I saw many of them. And, you know, so I took the bus a lot in Winnipeg.

And it was one of those lines that went as soon as I said it, people started laughing like, ha, ha, ha, that's a hilarious bus to have to travel on all the time. Oh, the bus line. Yeah, the bus line. Notoriously bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my favorite rapper.

The 11. The 11. And everybody's like, oh, the 11. What's the one people make fun of here? The 8? The 8. The 8, maybe the 20. You get a lot of cuckoo bananas.

Where's the 20 go? All the way down Commercial Drive and then to downtown. Ooh. Yeah. Rough. Yeah, yeah. That's a rough 90-degree angle. Yikes.

Did you not look up your neighborhood when you got an Airbnb in Winnipeg? Yeah, it was the only place. That was the crazy thing on Airbnb. It was the only place that was close enough to where all this stuff was happening, all the fringe stuff. Yeah. Like, the next closest place will cost $200 a night. And I was like, do you think you're Paris friends? Why is it $200 a night?

Yeah, what are you, the plaza in New York City across the street from Central Park? What are you, Home Alone, Lost in New York? Yeah, get out of here. Oh, what are you going to order, a cheese pizza and a limousine? Oh, my God. What, is Rob Schneider going to be in there? But I bet you it came with ice cube trays. It did.

So, bam. Yeah. You down with ICT? That was the top of the listing. Ice cube trays. Wi-Fi, sometimes. Sometimes. Roaming Wi-Fi.

Next door neighbor's Wi-Fi. Next door neighbor, yeah. Just ask them. They're usually really good about resetting it if they're home. Yeah. I love that. If they're home, they're usually really good about resetting it. This is a nightmare.

I hate this. What does really good about resetting it. This is a nightmare. I hate this. What does that mean, resetting it? Like, you know when you split internet with your neighbor, but your neighbor's the one with the router? Oh, and it goes down? It goes down, and then you've got to knock on your neighbor's door and be like, hey, sorry, can you just... Do you split the money? Yeah, you split the bill. Oh, well, then you shouldn't feel guilty about that.

Yeah. But it's always a thing that you gotta... You can't be mad, so you always have to be a little bit glad. Hi! Hi! Like you gotta bake up... You gotta do a batch of brownies and bring them over. Yeah, bring a loaf.

You gotta bring a loaf. You're like, oh, they're out of town. If I wanna unplug it and plug it back back in then I just have to cause a power outage to the building. Or I have to send in this mouse I trained. But you gotta let it be unplugged for like 30 seconds. The mouse has ADD for sure.

That mouse is just... Well, as soon as the mouse is out of your sight, he's just gonna have a great adventure. Oh, a huge... He'll go under that door and then time just changes for him. Yeah. He's got a real Toy Story moment happening. Yeah, you couldn't think of any of the mouse movies.

Stuart Little. Bible Goes West. Yeah. Mouse Trap. Bible Goes West. Any of the Mickey Mouse films. Fantasia 2000. Fantasia Barino.

Oh, is that who was singing? Oh, yeah. Fantasia Barino. Oh, was that who was singing? Oh, yeah. Fantasia Barino. No, not her. Is that an American Idol winner? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I can't keep track now with the voice in American Idol.

Yeah, she was like the third one. Oh. So you lost track after Ruben Studdard? Ruben Studdard. No, who was the other one? Kelly Clarkson. No, I remember her. Ruben Studdard? Ruben Studdard. No, who was the other one? Kelly Clarkson. No, I remember her. Ruben Studdard.

Then I'm pretty sure Clay Aiken. That's the last guy I remember. But he's the last guy from that show I remember. Clay Aiken didn't win? He lost to Ruben Studdard.

Yeah. Did I stutter? Yeah. Did you just throw shade at me? I don't know what that means I think you did Maybe I did That'd be cool

Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, we kind of started what's going on with you But we'll, I guess, come back to you Sure Here's what's going on with me You've been out of town for three weeks So here's what you missed Okay

I spent the whole time uh uh charging my phone yeah uh my phone seriously like the charger wasn't working and i had to at all times keep some like something under the cord and then like rest a glass on my phone so that the angle was right for weeks and weeks i was doing this i like had stacks of coins that were the right height and then uh and then yesterday i uh figured it out and i i took a staple and i i scratched inside the charging thing and wads and wads of lint came out. Ah. So satisfying. Oh yeah.

It was great. It feels so good. Like I'll get a like a safety pin in there and just move it around. We're still talking about your phone? Mm-hmm. That's also how I masturbate

is with an open safety pin. Oh. Wild. No but that's part of it. It's part of it. You're like ooh at any time

this could turn. Safety first though. Safety first, though. Safety first. But that's like the equivalent of popping a zit on your face.

Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? It's been a while. Or like getting stuff out of your earring hole. Sure. Or your belly button.

Do you see that that's a thing now? What? There's been this huge uptick in cosmetic surgery for people closing their crazy ear holes that they've created with those spacers. Yeah. That, I mean, everybody should have seen that coming, right?

Because once you take them out, you've just got this crazy. It's weird that that's still, like, because tattoos have kind of normalized to like yeah you could be a ceo with like neck tattoos now yeah like chronic taco ceo i'm sure he has neck tattoos but like yeah ceo not like a wall street ceo but like a pretty cool ceo yeah who's like in multi-million dollar meetings and stuff yeah uh but like if you see a guy with the crazy ear spacers, I'm sorry if you're listening, but that's not. Through your ear spacers. That's not normalized yet. You're going to get it there though, buddy.

Yeah. Who's the most successful person in the Western world that has ear spacers? Thank you for Western world. Oh. Because Eastern world, we would have been like some tribesmen. Yeah, probably some tribesmen. Yeah, that's not a ridiculous thing to ask. Yeah.

I would say probably a punk musician. Oh, yeah. Okay. Or maybe like a DJ. Or what about- Like a really famous DJ. Yeah. Or Dennis Rodman.

Oh, yeah. He potentially could have them. I haven't looked at a recent picture of him. But yeah, or Dennis Rodman. Oh, yeah. He potentially could have them. I haven't looked at a recent picture of him. But yeah, there's no way. It's kind of there's no way he doesn't, really. It's just where else does he have them? Sure, yeah. With Dennis Rodman?

Yeah. He's got eyelid spacers. Oh, God. Oh, that would be gross. So you figured out the phone. Yeah. The other two things going on since you left. One, um, uh, like Caitlin mentioned, it was, uh, super smoky for a long time.

I know. I saw the photos. It has barely rained at all. And then the whole province is on fire. Yeah. And, uh, there were a couple of days where like the city smelled like a campfire and it was like, it wasn't quite the, you know, when you're smelled like a campfire and it was like it wasn't quite you know when you're sitting by a campfire and you get smoke in your eyes yeah yeah and uh

it wasn't quite that bad but it was like oh i feel this yeah because it was like like the photos were crazy made it look was it as crazy as the photos made it look yeah it was upsetting too it was it was an upsetting vibe. You know, there was this feeling of like, this isn't good. It was really, yeah, like apocalyptic. Yeah. That's what it looked like. It looked kind of like Hellscape.

Like it was like you could see the sun, but barely. And it was red through the smoke. It was cool. Like it was super cool. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'm kind of glad it happened. Like, I like a variety of weather. Sure.

Yeah. And I was able to stare at the sun for much longer than normal. Yeah. I was able to stare at the sun for, like, minutes. Yeah, me too. That's how I masturbate. Yeah. It was spooky.

And they kept saying, you know, if you don't have to go outside, then don't. And you're like, well. Well, that's my policy always. Yeah, fair. Thanks for the permission to lead my life. But then when you did go outside, you couldn't help but think, I really shouldn't be out here. Oh, yeah. But how else am I going to get around?

Yeah. Were there people, of course there were, people on bicycles wearing some sort of weird mask? Oh, probably. Yeah. That seems like this would be the city for it. I mean, there usually are. Stop me cycling. I don't remember masks.

Did you see masks? You know, I got to be honest. I went to Kelowna for a week. You left town? You know, on the smokiest day, which was the Sunday, Monday morning, I drove to Kelowna for a week. You left town? You know, on the smokiest day, which was the Sunday, Monday morning, I drove to Kelowna. I got out of here. Did you go on a jet ski when you were in Kelowna?

I went on a boat. I went on a really fast boat. I'm leaving on a jet ski. That's my jet ski sound effect. See, now you can take an old song and make it a new number one hit. Song of the Summer. Speaking of which, has the Song of the Summer revealed itself? Well, at the time of this being released, the Song of the Summer, I'm predicting, is

Can't Feel My Face by The Weeknd. Oh, because of mass palsy. A big palsy outbreak. Fair enough. Currently, the number one song, and it could remain that way, is this terrible song called Cheerleader. Oh. It's either pronounced Omi or O-M-I. Oh, okay.

All right. I thought it was like, this song's gonna hurt like a mother. Oh, yeah, that's a pretty good summer jam. That's the one by Adam Levine. Adam and the Moine? Adam and the Levines. Yeah. I'm going by the Billboard charts.

That hasn't been enough? I'm going by my gut. Okay, it's fine. And what I hear on the radio when I drive my car. All right, that's fine. We'll reconvene at the end of the summer.

Okay, great. We'll have a cake. Oh! What kind of cake? That's how we'll reveal. We'll write it on the cake. Oh, it'll be like one of those

gender-revealed baby cakes? Yes, when the balloons come out. But the balloons never really come out successfully. They just kind of like the balloons stutter out of the box. Oh, I've seen it where it's like you give, when you find out the sex of your baby, you have them not tell you. They put it in an envelope.

You give that envelope to your cake maker, and they make a blue cake or a pink cake. And when you cut it open, and then they frost it whatever color. Oh, and then you cut it open. And when you cut it open, you see it's pink. Oh. It's a lady baby. Oh, that's fun. Oh, I've seen it where they shove a bunch of helium balloons in a box. In a cake?

No, in a box. Oh, okay. And then you open up the box, and then these balloons are supposed to release in this. Oh, right. In this magical moment. And they're filled with doves. The doves are flying them up.

The doves are struggling inside the heliumves. The doves are flying them up. The doves are struggling inside the helium balloons. The doves are exhausted. This is a real misfire, you guys. Whoops. Oh, these are the doves I trained to fly into my neighbor's house

in unplugged modem. So the other, and the final thing that's been going on all summer is I've been panicking about this cataclysmic earthquake that's going to hit us.

Oh, yes. Yes. Because there was a story in the New Yorker. Okay. Now I'm listening. Popular smart person publication in the New Yorker.

Yeah, I get it weekly and read it never. Do you get it weekly? Absolutely. I have hundreds in the back of my car right now. Don't know what to do with them. Just drive around town

looking smart. Yeah, you put them in the back of your car so you don't skid out in the back of my car right now. Don't know what to do with them. Just drive around town looking smart. Yeah, you put them in the back of your car so you don't skid out in the snow. I'm looking for the right group of preteen girls that I'd like to shape and mold and inform. Sorry, please, go on with the New Yorker. Just give them the Amy Poehler book.

Is it a way to keep people from breaking into your car because they'll be like, oh, this person probably doesn't have anything. It is a way. Only smart stuff. Yeah, they probably don't have like firecrackers. They really don't have a switchblade in here.

Well, let's get out of here. Ooh, we're in smart town. Yeah, so the New Yorker said well it's none of it is new information no it's but it's uh that uh there's like a giant earthquake on the way the size of that one that hit japan a few years ago right um like a nine on the uh uh the richt, the old Richter, Andy Richter scale, uh, that will, uh, it'll like shake for like six minutes and that is a long time cause a, uh, huge tsunami. Yep. And we're, we're like 60 years overdue for it.

Yeah. And, uh, uh, the, the water will rise like 60 to 80 feet. Oof. And so anyone under that is going to be drowning in a flood of pickup trucks and cinder blocks. But like in that scenario, do you want to be in the first wave? I always wonder about these apocalyptic scenarios where you're like, do you want to be the survivors of the first wave of the tsunami and all that kind of stuff? Because then what? Then what am I going to do? It's going to suck for a long time. For a long time.

It's going to be sad and sucky. Yes, absolutely. But you don't want to die. No, that's true. But if you got to go, Tsunami. But don't they say that? I just don't want to be in. I don't want to share a funeral.

Oh, I see. Oh, you're making this about you. I get it now. You selfish animal. So if this episode, if the earthquake has hit before this episode comes out, I'm sorry that it was late in its release. Yeah. We died. Yeah, we're dead.

But wait, now I'm upset. I know, it's upsetting is what it is. Okay, but didn't they say that the island would protect us? The thing is, the tsunami is coming from us. So it's like, there won't be a crush of water, but the water will rise. Well, I have time to get out. I live in the West end, Dave.

No, no. Yeah. The West end's definitely, but like you might be right at why you're right. The water's right there, but you're in a penthouse. We can get to the beach really nicely. It's actually beautiful. It's beautiful. You're in a penthouse though.

So maybe if, if your building is, uh, old. Yeah, I know. Really old. But if it, if by chance you're lucky enough that it stays standing then you're high enough above the water but guess who's gonna be knocking on your door everybody yeah the zombie people from from the third floor oh god um uh yeah so and like everywhere they say uh uh like fema estimates 20 000 people will die and that's just in like a regular day if it happens in the summer when everyone's at the beach

oh yeah oh man yeah but that's something that they've been saying like when i first moved to vancouver people are like any day now yeah no day. Well, like, it's apparently it's something like, I forget the number, but it's either 30 years or 60 years overdue. Like, it happens every 200 and some odd years, and it's now 300 and something. Yeah, but, well, you know. And also, I have this app that tracks earthquakes, and there have been so many giant earthquakes in, like, Alaska lately. You say you are depressed? Not fun is this note. I just wrote on a piece of paper and passed it to Dave you are depressed not fun is this note i just wrote on a piece of paper and passed it to dave and said not fun not fun so it's very spooky

this is uh but we're being real yeah and i'm uh i'm like here's how terrified i am of it not enough to like fill a backpack with water bottles yeah Yeah. That's the other thing. For a long time, I had like a kit. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was like, okay, they keep saying to make one, and it takes 25 minutes to put some cans in there. And, you know, I had a, I don't know what else I had in there. Cans.

Protein bars, maybe? Yeah, protein bars, I think, are better than cans of whatever. I didn't have any protein bars around the house. And I'm not trying to bulk up. I'm trying to, I'm just trying to. I just mean, like, they're lighter to carry. I know, but, you know. Like, as it is, it'll be, like, a really terrible world.

And then on top of that, to be bloated would be terrible. Yeah, yeah, and gassy. I'm going for tone, not for bulk. Too much soy, also. It's just too much soy. I'm also... Did you have a can opener? Oh, yes, for sure.

I had a can opener, yeah. And I think I had a replica of a gun so I could rob people. And, you know, like a basic first aid kit. So enough to get by. You know. You had a, like a, or like a, I have a thing on my phone that's like a shotgun. Yeah, that'll do. In a pinch.

You do the shotgun motion and then it makes a sound effect. That's like, I mean, you know, first you should pack a charger. But what am I going to plug it into? There will be no electricity. Well, hopefully, you know, one of these hippies with their solar power. Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah. Attach it to your bike.

But, yeah, I don't look forward to it. No. This earthquake. A lot of people are pro it, but I'm not. A lot of people are doing a lot of welcoming ceremonies. Okay, here's an earthquake. A lot of people are pro it, but I'm not. A lot of people are doing a lot of welcoming ceremonies. Okay, here's what I'm thinking. I hope I survive. Yeah. If I don't,

someone listening, give me my own funeral. I don't even want to share with Graham. Yeah. Graham, he just said that you die Well, if I die, Graham dies Yeah We're three-legged racing it

Yeah Why would you do that? Well, for fun Okay I also have an egg on a spoon Be sure you don't drop that egg It's our only protein source I'm going to say you kind of deserve to die Well, that's very rude And you don't drop that egg it's our only protein source i'm gonna say you kind of deserve

to die well that's very rude and you can't play god uh so uh that's what's going on with me uh-huh um oh speaking of i was talking about that app that my uh that had the guns in um the other day i was uh in the summer i get really worried when i go out at night how come um i think it's because of that time like i tried to shoot me oh sure yeah summertime uh because there's just a lot of strangers out after dark yeah uh but one day i was walking my dog uh at night and i was feeling like anxious and uh there's a guy like a guy i didn't know sort of going in to get something out of his car and uh so what i did was i uh i made a i took all the keys oh and i like made a little wolverine hand in my pocket but i have so many like weird fobs and stuff it's it's all farts Yeah And uh

So uh But I was nervous about this guy And then I was hoping he would get his stuff out of his car Before I passed And he didn't and he came out behind me He was walking behind me And he took out his phone And he had a fart app

And he was He was a big menacing guy But he kept making fart noises at me. I wouldn't indulge him. No, yeah. No, just keep walking. Yeah. Do you want to know what tips I'll call?

I'll make a fake phone call and I'll pretend to be talking to my dad, the police officer. Oh, hi dad, the police officer. Hi officer dad. Oh, hi dad. Have you had a hard day catching criminals? I'm proud of you dad for being so successful as a police officer. Hi, Officer Dad. Oh, hi, Dad. Oh, have you had a hard day catching criminals? I'm proud of you, Dad, for being so successful as a police officer. You don't have to avenge me, Dad. Everything's going to be fine.

I'm just walking home. I'm perfectly safe here at the corner of Main Street and 16th, now turning west. What do you mean you've been suspended for being too violent? Well, you can come and stay with me. Oh, you're here? Oh, you're already at the place? You can see me now? I'm waving.

I'm waving. And I will wave. Oh, man. How's your summer been so far, Summer Bin Laden? Thank you for referring to me by my summer nickname. It's really sticking. Yeah, summer nickname. It's really sticking. Yeah, I know. It's really sticking.

It's the beard. Old Somerman line. I, you know, I went, I was in a bunch of different cities. Winnipeg, Toronto. Okay. Montreal, the big three. They all have football teams. Yep.

But CFL, so. Well, yeah. Yep. But CFL. Well, yeah. Yeah. As somebody pointed out when I said that Ballers is the lowest stake television show on TV, Sean Proudlove said, oh, you should see the CFL version. Here's one thing I did. Are you enjoying Ballers? Have you seen every episode episode i've seen a few

episodes i've seen it all yeah it is very very like no no no it's the new entourage yeah it's i'm into it but also like it's the entourage if uh it's the entourage it's entourage if like uh they got an actual star to be in it yeah yeah yeah like who's the big name the rock the rock duane johnson yeah the one and the same uh i'm pretty sure he has at least eight million dollars which makes him a star yeah no he's too good for this show yeah and so is um oh dule hill yeah and i also kind of feel like rob cordry is too good for it i like the guy who's like a former player who's a car salesman now. Oh, yeah. I think he's really good.

He was in one of the American Pie direct-to-video movies. Oh, really? Yeah. American Pie presents Bannock Camp. Was that beneath him? No, that was right at his level. At the time, right? At the time.

At the time. At the time. You're a different person in 2007. Is this going to work if you're an actor and something is beneath you, you're Benicio del Toro? No. I mean, no. Will that catch on?

If Benicio del Toro is in a movie that's clearly beneath him, then he's Benicio del Toro. Right. Yeah. Or the movies. Speaking of movies, this is something I did while I was, I had a night off and I was like, you know what? I'm going to watch a movie that everybody has seen, but I have never seen. Okay.

Okay. So it was a movie that's been in the popular culture for probably, it's probably 30 years old, I guess. Okay. Let me guess what this is that you haven't seen. It's not Goonies because you've seen Goonies I've seen Goonies is it of that era

it's of that era yeah um oh so mid 80s yeah you've seen Back to the Future yeah

not is it Teen Witch no no I haven't seen Teen Witch and not everybody has seen Teen Witch no this is a movie where you're about to

break Twitter right now with that comment yeah it's got it's got a famous I'm hot catchphrase in it has seen Teen Witch. No, this is a movie where like... You're about to break Twitter right now with that comment. Yeah. It's got a famous... I'm hot. ...catchphrase in it. Oh, is it Amadeus? Yeah.

It's the catchphrase Rock Me Amadeus. Yeah, Rock Me Amadeus. Famous catchphrases of the mid-80s. Oh, what was the Max Hedrum movie? And it wasn't a...

It's not like... It's a movie... It's a movie primarily enjoyed, I think, by women. A League of Their Own. No, earlier than The League of Their Own. And I have seen that. Many times. Good.

Many times. Oh, like. Like, it's a movie I can't believe that I had avoided seeing. Because it was, when I was growing up, it was always on TV. Adventures in Babysitting? No, I've definitely seen that. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. No, it's not a comedy.

Oh. Women movie. Was this a chick flick? A chick, oh yes. Mystic Pizza? No, I've definitely seen Mystic Pizza. Is it the one? It's more famous than Mystic Pizza.

Is it the one with the two Lily Tomlins? Lily business Yeah Silly lily business That was the one You got it Dave And the famous cat toys Watch out Oh I love this game

The listeners are frustrated Of course just say what he watched uh it was uh dirty dancing oh nobody puts baby in a corner yeah i'd never seen it i'd seen little bits and pieces of it did not did not know what it was about until I watched it. Really? Well, I had a notion of what it was about, but I did not know that the entire plot hinges on an abortion. Like, that's the crux of the movie. Back in the day, to perform an abortion, you had to run up as fast as you could to Patrick Swayze, and then jump up and he holds your stomach, and that does it. That's why they do it in a lake first, because it's nasty.

Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was just as... And then they demonstrate it to everyone in that big luau on the last night. Rubbing their faces in it. That's the first thing I didn't know, was that the whole entire plot hinges on a girl getting an abortion. The second thing that I didn't know

was that the character's name was Baby. Yeah. So I thought Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner was like a snappy piece of dialogue. She's literally sitting in a corner when he says that. So he is literally saying Nobody Puts This Character Baby in a literal corner. I had no idea look sometimes i want to be in a corner yeah exactly sometimes it's the most comfortable place to be in a room i like it with no one behind me yeah yeah you get a good view she she had a real name didn't she yeah she was like marjorie marjorie

baby patterson or whatever yeah it was like but i thought george herman baby ruth a story about a girl who gets dance lessons and falls in love with the teacher yeah also she's sick she's like 16 years old she's six no she's in grade one but she is she's she's uh not 18 no and And he's 42 in the movie. He's like an older man. He's a bouncer. Yeah. At a roadhouse.

That's right. He's a reformed bouncer. All right. Well, see, that's all things being honest. I did watch Roadhouse. And then Netflix suggested Dirty Dance. And that's how I ended up watching it. Netflix is getting rude.

They're like interrupting you in the middle of the movie. You know what? You probably want to watch that. Graham, can I ask you something? Go ahead. How do you call your lover boy? I don't know. Because that's the scene where they're listening.

Oh, hey, lover boy? Is it like that? Oh, lover boy. Oh, lover boy. And if he doesn't answer? Come here, lover boy. And if he still doesn't answer? Baby.

Baby. And then the guy who has inseminated the woman. Jerry Orbach. No, that's the dad. I haven't seen it either. He confesses to the dad at the very end for no reason that he's the guy who knocked her up. And then he changes his mind about this much older man that's clearly banging his daughter. Is it clear?

Do they do it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do they get caught? Because she has to confess to get him out of trouble. Okay. One night, they think he stole. What's his name?

Randy. Ricky. Patrick. Swayze. Patrick Swayze. Yeah, she's baby and he's Mickey. Swayze. Mickey Swayze. He plays Swayze. Patrick Swayze. Yeah, she's baby and he's Mickey. Swayze. Mickey Swayze.

He plays Swayze. Do you want me to look it up? Yeah. Do you need this information? Swayze. He plays Randy. No. Randy Swayze.

Rocky. Rocky. Yeah. Mickey Blue Eyes. It's like Nicky or Mickey. Yeah. Flicky. Flicky.

Yeah. Tricky Dick. It's Flicky. It's Flicky. Yeah. Um, tricky dick. It's flicky. It's flicky. Yeah. It's, uh, Johnny Castle. Johnny. Yeah.

Nikki, Johnny. There were only four names in the fifties. Yeah. Baby. Johnny. Corner. Nobody. Or Bach. Yeah.

Uh, anyway, so I had no idea what that movie was about, and I watched it, and then I thought, I'm on a hot streak here. It's three o'clock in the morning at this point. But you're on Vancouver time. Yeah, I bust into Footloose. Uh-huh. I watched that. Bown and now and now.

Then, I watched the remake. With Julianne Hough? Yeah, yeah. Julianne Hough? Julianne Hough. Yeah, and the guy that's now in the Fantastic Four movie. Oh. Yeah, he was the buddy.

Originally played by Chris Penn. Yeah, is that his name? The black guy? No. Mr. Fantastic. I don't know. Thank man, that Fantastic Four. Prediction. Gonna be a lemon. Sn. Fantastic. I don't know. Man, that Fantastic Four. Prediction.

Gonna be a lemon. Snickero. But the last set of Fantastic Four. I know. They already did a perfect. Everybody will agree. Jessica Alba was sparkling in that role. As was Michael Chiklis.

And the other guy. Evan. Chris Evans. And. I'm thinking about the tsunami that's gonna kill us all right now so

no no think about dirty dancing oh yeah don't think about tsunamis think about salamis

oh uh well that would be worse right to be buried in salamis no oh death by salami

death by salami you get all pickled you get cured ah you're cured Right? To be buried in salamis? No. Oh, death by salami? Death by salami? You get all pickled. You get cured. Ah, you're cured. You're going to get cured. There's a joke in there. Oh, I think there might be a tsunami caused by the eye rolling going on across the continent.

Oh, a doctor, he was hit by a big salami. Anything else happen there? A doctor says, you're cured. I just caught up with some 80s dance movies. You have fun shows and stuff? Oh, yeah. Meet fun people? I met a lot of fun people, and thanks to all the people who came out to the shows in all the different cities. Real nice people.

Good people. Salt to the earth, I would say. Graham has some solid fans. Yeah, they all came out in force. And yeah, I had a good run. And now I'm back, and then I'm going to go away again. Is it nice to be home? Who knows what 80s movie.

Yeah, except that I kind of, like, Landlord was over today, and that was terrible. What do you mean? Well, my landlord's a slumlord that we hate. But what was he over for uh or she was over uh just to be a pain in the ass they can't do that yeah i know they can't enter without a reason yeah well she was because uh she was picking up the rent and it's she can do that from outside our lease is up up. Oh. Yeah. Which. It's always fun.

She's the worst. Well, you go month to month now. That's what I, that was my pitch. Yeah. Fine by you, right? Well, that's the standard pitch. Is you go for a year and then you just go month to month? Yeah. Yeah.

That's what I want. Because that's the perk of being there for the years that you're like, I've put in my time of being on this contract and now I will be in charge. Thank you. They can then raise the rent up to, I think, 2.5%. Boo. But look,

it's all up in the air. If you need two and a half cents, I can lend you two and a half cents. Yeah. Graham pays a dollar rent. I pay a dollar rent right now. 2.5 cents. And if you haven't got a hay penny,

then God bless you. All right. Do you guys want to move on over hers yes indeed hi i'm alec raringo a dog owner and i am renee culvert a dog wanter and together we're the hosts of can i pet your dog a podcast for unapologetic dog lovers so let's talk about this what are you getting yourself into what What is this podcast about? Well, we have dog news, dog experts, and interviews with special guests about their dogs. We also talk about dogs that we met this week. Join us every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org for new episodes of Can I Pat Your Dog? Hey, this is Pop Rocket. We're your source for all pop culture information.

It's an intellectual and incredibly snark-filled discussion about pop culture by five Frankie Hollywood 30-somethings. No name-calling, no rudeness, just straight talk and a lot of role play. I'm only 30-something for another year. Me too. And I don't tell anybody I'm 30-something. Pop Rocket comes out every week from MaximumFun.org. Overheard. Overheard. Overheard's a segment where we...

Graham, shut up. Why? It's time for my favorite segment on the show. Go on. Hulk Hogan news. Oh, no, stop. I refuse. Now, Graham...

He broke my heart. You invented a segment on the show about your favorite person in the world. Someone who could never do any wrong. I never said any such thing. Now, I know, I guess this sort of dates when we're recording it. Why don't I date it? It's July 28th.

Yeah. Yesterday or the day before. Or last week. Maybe last week. Hulk Hogan came out as a racist. Yeah, he came out of the racist closet. And when you come out as a racist, you come out yelling. Oh, do we have the Hulk Hogan came out as a racist. Yeah, he came out with a racist closet. And when you come out as a racist,

you come out yelling. Oh, do we have the Hulk Hogan news theme song? Do we have a sad theme? It's the Hulk Hogan news. I'm so gleeful about this. It was part of a sex tape.

He was being racist in a sex tape. Oh, no. and homophobic yeah that that just came out it'll you know what's this point well i don't know what else is there was it role playing where he was playing a homophobic racist oh some women are into that some women a woman a woman is into that a woman who was married to a guy named bubba the love sponge sure sure she might be into something weird like that is there new information from that sex tape from eight years ago or whatever uh i don't know i have not really been following

the story i've been waiting for you to fill me in basically what's happened is because he's gone to court with gawker uh who released the sex tape everything in the sex tape has uh has come out in trial hulk you idiot you racist homophobic idiot yeah so he's uh you know they long suspected that he was a closeted, horrible person. You mean a man being pummeled in the head as a profession wasn't really of sound mind and had awful things to say? Yeah, but I wouldn't put wrestling on trial for one horrible racist. I understand, but he's punched in the head a lot. Yeah. You know that it's fake punches.

What? Yes. But would you say what wrestlers look the most racist? Oh, I mean the Bushlackers. The Klansmen. The Confederacy Brothers. Hillbilly Jim. Yeah,

Hillbilly Jim. Who's the other Hacksaw Jim Duggan? George W. Bush. George the Animal Racist. Yeah. Yeah. Ted the other uh hacksaw jim duggan george w bush uh george the animal racist yeah yeah ted di biasi um yeah ted di biasi absolutely probably but in real life apparently a real gem of a guy oh really yeah played a bad guy yeah turns out he's a real nice guy in real life who knew start following him on twitter yeah i think he's still around uh yeah most wrestlers are blessed uh with dying before we find out their races yeah that's true but i think uh i think uh i you know i'll i'll let it be an isolated incident

until proven otherwise no wrestlers okay yeah i don't believe that all wrestlers are all anything. No, no, no. I'm just saying I can see it. You wouldn't want to generalize a group of people is what you're saying. This is what I'm trying to say. Not a group of mostly white men. I would never. No.

I'll be eaten alive on the internet. The internet will kill me if I, a woman, stand up. Are white men allowed on the internet? Yeah. That's not been my experience with the internet. Well, you're right. I'm an idiot. Yeah.

Do you need some typing help? Graham. Yes, sir. Is this the final COVID news? Well, it was. The final one was ages ago. We stopped doing the segment i really wanted to bring it back i'm a big fan of the segment always have been um now overheards we always like to

start with the guest okay would you could you sure lead the way so um this isn't my overheard but i was uh teaching a sketch writing class on the weekend. And I always say, you know, how was your weekend? Where can people sign up? Oh, at blindtigercomedy.ca. Okay. That's our comedy school. Yeah. And a nice guy named Brett said, I heard a guy say he's walking by and all he could hear was, yeah, but if I could impregnate somebody.

And then that's all he heard. Oh, my God. Well, if i could impregnate somebody and then that's all i heard oh my god you could then this life would be different man yeah then i you know then i then something different might happen you know because if i could well that just changes everything yeah yeah i could have been an inseminator instead of a bug which is what i am damn um so i thought that was that was you know that's great very nice very you know if i could impregnate could then maybe maybe i'd be a father he also just doesn't know how maybe how sex works if i could but i'll be damned if i can figure this out yeah but what are they all boy boy i'll just keep having sex with my wife and we're praying to the stork

um dave do you have one guys i do um mine is about a song of the summer from last year i don't think it was the song of the summer maybe it was two years ago anyway uh it came out of the summer. Maybe it was two years ago. Anyway. It came out in the summer, but I don't think it was officially a song. It was a song of a summer, but not the song of that summer. Guys, do you know it was a song? It was a song, and it's summer now. Now it's summer. Anyway,

a couple weeks ago it was a Wednesday at five in the afternoon, which is an unusual time on a Wednesday for people to be drunk. It was a Wednesday at 5 in the afternoon, which is an unusual time on a Wednesday for people to be drunk. It was, you know, in the summer. It's a bit judgy, but okay. 5 p.m. is afternoon. Yeah.

In the winter, it's nighttime. Yes. Yeah, that's true. And there's a guy and a girl walking down the street, you know, 30s. Gross. They seemed a little drunk, and then the guy just belted out, Why you gotta be so rude? I'm gonna marry her anyway.

And then turned on his heel and stepped into the street and almost got hit by a car. Without looking. Oh, man. He used that song lyric as an exit. No, they both turned, but he's the one who stepped into the street. Wow. They were both, they weren't departing.

They weren't separating. I thought he was like he was dropping the mic. Yeah. Magic. Well, if you won't marry me, well then, why you gotta be so rude? If you won't marry me, I'm gonna still marry you. Marry her anyway. Yeah.

It's a song written to the dad. The father-in-law. Man, how did that song become popular? It was at the Canadian band. Is it really? Yeah, Canadian reggae, pop reggae band Magic. Yeah. Is it instead of an I, is it an exclamation point?

No, but it's an exclamation point at the end. Sometimes when I'm eating dinner and my dog's staring at me, I'll sing, Why you gotta be so rude don't you know it's human food I always thought it was I am a human dude but it's not

it's a guy who wants to marry an alien woman you could have the next line to grandpa being, you're going to shit on the carpet anyway. He won't. He's trained. Well, he's still a dog. Yeah, but he doesn't look.

What's he going to do? If he has to go, he's going to just go. He's not going to be like, oh, excuse me, Dave, Abby, I have to poo real bad. It's suddenly diarrhea. He's just going to have diarrhea. You're right. He's not going to learn English and tell them what's up.

No. But he's going to learn to sing. I'm going to shit on my garment anyway. You got a good point. When you're right, you're right. Baby. Whoa-hmm. Baby. Whoa, whoa. Mine comes courtesy of being on the bus in Winnipeg.

Mm-hmm. The 11? The 11. The 11 downtown. The 11 Polo Park. And two people talking about kids' shows that their kids watch. Uh-huh. And the one guy, super mad at kayu yeah hates kayu why not

he says uh kayu has no plot now babar there's a whole universe in there and you're mad at people for having conversations on the bus it's're right. That guy made it worthwhile. Yeah. Caillou is like, he's redefining masculinity. Yeah, he's a- He's also a baby. Isn't Caillou a baby? He's upright. Yeah, he's upright,

but he does have the face and head of a baby. He has the face and the head of a baby. Yeah. He dresses a lot like you, Dave. Thanks. What? I don't usually dress this way.

Dave looks a lot like Caillou. It's summertime. Okay, it's summertime, sure, but you're in a pair of cute little shorts and a striped T-shirt. So what? No, I know. It's just, no, no, no. It's so hot. I know, but so is Caillou.

I'm Caillou-ing. I'm Caillou-ing my way through summer. Oh, Caillou. Caillou. No, thank Caillou. You know what children's shows my baby likes? Which? Jeopardy.

She likes the color blue. She likes anything blue on TV. Oh, really? And Trebek's very hypnotic voice. Does she respond to it? She'll coo or she'll giggle when it comes on? Does she love the Daily Double? She'll just like turn her attention to the TV, which she usually doesn't.

Except when I wake up in the morning. For some reason, first thing in the morning, it's TV time. Yeah. That's a great way to start a baby's day. Yeah. An hour of television. An hour of television every day. An hour of television. An hour of television every day. An hour of Kelly and Michael.

Yeah, we wake up at nine. If I could wake up at nine, I can't even imagine the things I'd get done in a day. Is nine early or late? Early. I don't go to bed until maybe four o'clock. Well, that's your first mistake. Yeah, absolutely.

It's the only time I got the house to myself, man. That's also why he's watching Footloose and the remake of Footloose. Yeah. If there had been a remake of that remake, I would have watched it. Did they do a remake of Dirty Dancing and why not? No, they never did. They made a sequel called Havana Night.

That's true. Habana. Habana. Because, you know, in Cuba, abortions, everyone gets them. Yeah, that's true because they have a great medical system. Yeahana. Habana. Because, you know, in Cuba, abortions, everyone gets them. Yeah, that's true because they have a great medical system. Yeah, they got it. Everyone gets abortions. Everyone has classic cars. I like it.

And Buena Vista Social Club. Yeah. It's a lot of flutes. Now, we have an overheard sent in from listeners around the world. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from right here. Right here in Vancouver. Well, New Westminster.

Local boy makes good. It's from Amanda. Local girl makes good. Oh, gross. Local girl makes good. Riding in with an overheard from the SkyT heading to new westminster from downtown vancouver a group of ladies who had obviously been enjoying their evening out got on the train and proceeded to strike up conversations with anyone close enough to hear them one of them had her leg in

a walking cast and someone asked her how she ended up in a cast she responded well my mom is telling everyone that i was dancing on the bar and fell off but i actually got in a fight how old is this woman i don't know oh my god breaking your leg in a fight did she try and stomp somebody and she missed no i think she probably got her legs stomp yeah you see that a lot in a bar room brawl scene. Some guy, you know, pranks somebody in the leg. You hold the ankle,

you stomp on the back of the knee. Or yeah, yeah, you break that knee. Yeah. Oh, tough lady. Oh man, 20 years ago that would have been

a non-walking cast. But I like that the mother was like, look, we gotta get our story straight. You were coyote uglying on a bar. You were cawing on a bar. You were wearing shorts and a stripy shirt.

This is the thing we can tell people that we're proud of. Anything, a fight, that's disgraceful. But you were dancing on a bar. Do you hear me? Yeah. And you were wasted. And you slipped on some peanuts. You got that?

Okay. And you had a whole bottle of Kahlua to yourself. You hear me? Why couldn't I be dancing at the Juilliard? Let's come on. Look at you. Marilyn, look at you. I can't believe that.

The next one comes from David G. In San Francisco. Kenny G's brother. Yeah, yeah. Little known fact. All saxophone band. I volunteer at the San Francisco Zoo every Saturday for the day. In the children's zoo area on the family farm.

They keep children in a zoo in San Francisco? Yeah. You maniac. Dave. No, they're very well taken care of, Dave. Do they have a habitat for them? Yeah. Are they allowed to mate?

Yeah. They shouldn't be. No. They're allowed to watch all the jeopardy they want. Oh, kids love it. Which, so it's,

it's goats, it's chickens, it's babies, it's four-year-olds, it's Kevin. While visitors were feeding the goats and petting the sheep, Pablo,

one of the donkeys, brayed and mounted Luna, his girlfriend. At which point, all the parents turned their heads and glanced at me and giggled a bit. And the little kid stood and stared, and one eight-year-old kid jumped up on a stump and yelled, Look, look, they're evolving.

He's right. He's right yeah well he's right maybe who's last time a donkey got to have a girlfriend yeah this is a big step for donkeys sure donkeys used to get married right away as soon as they were went through puberty donkey had to get married that's true and now donkeys are going to school they're they're having babies way later And sometimes they're just hooking up with someone. And maybe it's a girlfriend. And they get donkey bracelets for different things they do. Well, Luna is a very advanced donkey, let's just say. Yeah.

I mean, goats. Sure. Luna heard her leg dancing on a bar, if you know what I mean. Yeah. She was like she broke her leg fucking. Oh, man. That would be the best. You broke your leg fucking.

For the talk of the town. Oh, yeah. Everyone would talk about you. You'd be on all the stand-up message boards. Graham broke his leg fucking. Not how you'd expect. And no, not the obvious way. This last one comes from Ben Walker.

I was in a cultural. Ben W, you mean? Oh, yeah. Ben W. Sorry. Wink, wink. I was in a cultural arts class at the university in a large he doesn't say where from a large auditorium with several hundred students our professor was talking about a movie that

showed some sacred jewish ceremony and mentioned how striking it was that we could see their most holy ceremony on screen he then said i don't think there's an equivalent for this for catholicism maybe i'm wrong. Can anyone think of a film showing the most holy things of Catholicism? From the back of the room, a student shouted, Rudy! It does take place at Notre Dame. Yeah, and one of the most sacred things you can do in the Catholic Church is go out and that last play of the game.

Yeah. Or prove it wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Prove everybody wrong yeah yeah prove everybody wrong everybody wrong hello that's probably the most oh there's water coming i'll build an ark oh people don't believe in me they'll see yeah yes evan almighty is what you're saying hello hello yeah steve corral's finest we could use him after the tsunami comes. Sure. But he'll only want two of us.

Well, which two? And he'll want to watch. But Steve, he's in LA. Isn't LA going to be dead too? No, no, no. It's not the San Andreas fault. It's the Cascadia something fault. I don't know.

It was basically from Portland to here. Oh, great. And everything west of the I-5 wiped out. Poof. Hey! Good thing I'm spending like there's no tomorrow. Yeah, because who are you going to leave your debt to?

This is the thing, man. Visa can just wait a bit if you know what I mean. Yeah, you'll get paid on friday yeah i'll e-transfer it to you i will be dead this is you're not working hard you're working smart thank you yeah uh in addition to overheards that are written in we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us look it says 20 says 20,000 people dead. That seems kind of low. I mean, I don't know.

Why are we circling back to this topic? I'm sorry, I got very upset by it earlier, and I've been just sitting quietly thinking about it. There are millions of people in the earthquake zone. You're lucky if there's 20,000. Yeah. 206-339-8328 if you want to leave us at your overheard. Hey, Dave and Graham, and likely a fantastic guest. This is Greg from Omaha calling in

an overheard, working my job as a sort of ride share driver. And I picked up a couple and they were having an argument. and the argument went like this. The guy said, well, you shouldn't have said that the Flyers were better than the Penguins. That was rude. And she said,

I don't care what those people think, okay? The whole crowd was just a bunch of fat chicks in giraffe suits. That's all. Fat chicks in giraffe suits? Yeah. I'm confused. Is chicks in giraffe suits? Yeah. I'm confused. Is that a saying?

Maybe he was seeing the Lion King on Broadway. Oh, sure. Still doesn't make a lot of sense. No. After a Pennsylvania hockey argument.

Yeah. I'd like to thank Greg for the beautiful compliment. I am a wonderful guest. You are a wonderful guest. Thank you very much. Probably. I noticed that you wrote his name down.

Okay. In a very like. This is one of the habits of highly something people. Like Greg plus Caitlin forever, this type of thing. Yeah, there's a big heart around it. Yeah. Mr. Greg Howden. Yeah, Caitlin from Omaha.

Caitlin from. It's good. It, Caitlin from Omaha. Caitlin from... It's a nice ring to it, don't you think? I used to that. Speaking of rings, Greg. Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham and guests. I got an overheard for you. I'm here at Get Well in Toronto.

What? I was calling from Vancouver phoning. Oh. So we're outside the bar and and there's a guy, and he says, so I'm sober three and a half months, and there I am choking the guy with his own necktie. So in conclusion, the sobriety's going real good. Yeah. Three months.

Turns out my cocaine addiction's been replaced with a real Big aggressive Aggression addiction Some people are saying I'm just a dry drunk at this point Because I'm still getting In the same fights I used to I'm still me I'm not going to change

No I'm not drinking But yes I'm still an asshole I broke this girl's leg Yeah Well she said she was dancing But we know better If you're You don't have to tell us the bar you're calling from, by the way, listeners. Yeah, but I mean, if it's got a funny name, why not?

Oh, I don't know. He said outside. Get well or safety zone? Yeah. I just wrote down the name Colin, but then he did not get a heart around him because he just said hello and guest. Yeah. Sometimes there's no guest. Oh, one of the people who wrote in assumed sexy guest.

So there you go. Just write heart, put a heart around one of the people. Mystery. Yeah. A heart around a question mark. That's my new tattoo. Ooh. Now, you're a married woman.

Yes, sir. What does your husband think about you constantly falling in love with strangers? This Sunday, August something, whenever this comes out. This Sunday in August is our two-year wedding anniversary. Is that true? Is it August? This coming Sunday in August is our two-year wedding anniversary. And?

And? Has it seemed like just like a month? Like it just was flowing by? Did you do the thing where on your first anniversary you eat cake? Wait, wait, let her answer the first question. We haven't done anything. We didn't celebrate our first anniversary. Nothing?

No. Did you save any of your wedding cake? You know what? Our wedding cake was just cheese. We just got different wheels of cheese for our wedding cake, and we had a cheesecake. We just had a really nice keg. That's not a cheesecake. We had a beamster.

There was a really nice gouda. Gouda? Not a gouder. That's what I wore on my leg. I had a gouder on my leg. Oh, my God. A gouda garter? It's a gouder.

I'd bite that off a Gouder's face. Whatever. Also in August, Abby and I celebrate our four year winning anniversary. Really? Yeah. You guys are like our role models. Thanks. Chris and I have said that.

We were like, Dave and Abby, they really got it figured out. You have a kid. You got a dog. You got a yard. You got a podcast. You got a gram. Yeah. You can a gram. Yeah. You can adopt them.

Yeah. We just, all I have is an Aaron Reed and a Ryan Beal and a Taz Van Rassel and a Kevin Lee. Those, that's a great crew. I am swamped. You've got a great crew there. Oh, and Emmett Hall. Here's your final overheard. Sorry, Emmett.

Hey, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Neb from South Carolina with a beautiful, beautiful overheard. This guy is on his iPhone. He's like a really tatted up kind of dude, probably like mid-20s. And he goes, Siri, tell Justin that we're going to smash some puss tonight. And then like a few seconds and it beeps and Siri goes, okay, I will. like a few seconds and it beeps and Siri goes, okay,

I will. It says, okay, I will text Justin that you guys are going to smash some puss tonight. Siri. Speaking of popping zits. Yeah. God damn it,

Siri. Stop texting me about pus. That expression, I don't like it. When the first time I heard it, I was like, ugh. It landed in my ears like a poisonous dart. Like, just crush

some pus. Right? What is it, crush or smash? like a poisonous dart. Like just crush some puss. Right? Was it crush or smash? Well, some people say smash. Smush. Smush some puss. Now that I don't mind.

Yeah. I'm a smush the puss. Yeah, because then it kind of sounds at the smush club. Yeah. Oh, God. Also, like,

you're not going to text your buddy that? You're going to make a robot tell your buddy that? Yeah. Oh, shit. Crush some puss. That's how we... What about smooch some puss? That sounds cute.

Right, ladies? Yeah. I'm going to smooch some puss. I'm going to kiss some clit. Sorry, Dave. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Would you say that to Caillou?

Pretend Caillou's here right now. Talk to this grapefruit. This weird big baby. Yeah. I don't know. The guy was right. Caillou stinks. Now, this brings us to the end of the episode.

Do you have anything you would like to plug? Anything that's coming up in August or just ongoing? Or September? Situation, September. Sure. Every Sunday? Yeah. So every Sunday I do a show here in Vancouver at the Fox Cabaret called the Sunday Service with my best friends.

It's every Sunday at 9 o'clock. You're the girl from the show? Yeah. You may recognize me as wife or bossy lady. Cashier. What about mother? I know. I've put a ban on those.

Good for you. Only Kevin and Taz can play moms now. Nice. People might also recognize you from the FIFA fan zone. From the FIFA fan zone, yeah. You can watch my clips of a sketch show I wrote for Global called The Second City Project, which finally aired. Did not get picked up for a season

but you can watch some clips at glow at like global's website or second city project second city project yep um but i'm also there's a great uh uh would you say it went viral the the clip of you and kayla lorette talking about yeah over a million hits on that video uh what was the subject coconut coconut oil you yeah You play adherence. That's right, yes. It went viral on Reddit and got to do an AMA on that. Really? Oh, wow. But right now I'm writing

on a cartoon called White Ninja. White Ninja is this cartoon that was really, really popular back in the day, and it's being made into a web series for Vine. I didn't know you were writing on that. I'm writing on White Ninja. That's fantastic. Yeah. Some really funny people

are going to be on it and Paul Scheer is going to be the voice of White Ninja. Hi, I'm White Ninja. Now, I don't know if I should have said that but I just did it.

So? It's out there. Now it's out there. This won't come out for a few weeks. Find out whether you could say that or not. Okay, I'll let you guys know.

But until then, somebody is doing the voice for Paul Scheer. Find out whether you could say that or not. Okay, I'll let you guys know. But until then, somebody is doing the voice for Paul Scherer. Well, we've got options. That's the important thing in editing. Now we can edit together to say that Paul Scherer is the voice of Paul Scherer. I gotta go. I can't do this anymore.

All right. Well, it was a pleasure Having you back on the podcast We love having you here On the show You guys are my two favorite boys Oh stop You're two fun boys

We are two fun Yeah You are two fun boys That's what we should have Called this podcast Couldn't be worse Than what we called it I just found out

There's a hashtag That people sometimes Use for this show That's spypod Spypod yeah I didn't know I'm not following that Now I am Yeah yeah You gotta There's a hashtag that people sometimes use for this show that's SpyPod. SpyPod, yeah. I didn't know. I'm not following that. Now I am.

Yeah, yeah. You got to, you know, let us know what hashtags you're using. Because when we named the show, we didn't know people would be using hashtags. Yeah. I think Twitter was very much just on the horizon. It was young. Yeah. Like, I think I just signed up.

Oh, boy. Do you have anything you got to plug? I want to wish a happy anniversary to my wife. Oh, yeah. I think it was probably a few weeks ago at this point. Happy anniversary to you and to you. Thank you, Graham. I want to wish a happy anniversary to Caitlin's husband.

Yeah. Enjoy that cheesecake. Yeah, that one. Yeah, that would be tough to be able to have to store a piece of cheese in the freezer. Especially knowing that it's in there. Knowing that it's shaped like a garter. Must eat delicious garter. I will wish Abby

a happy anniversary when I go for coffee with her next week. Beautiful. Graham, you're this entire month, you have shows in Edinburgh, except for on the 17th. Oh, do I have a day off

on the 17th? I think I looked at your schedule. Oh, thank God. Oh my God, it's going to be insane. Oh,

it'll be insane. How many shows are you doing in a month? Sounds like 30. Yeah. Yeah, I start on the 4th and then every day

except the 17th, apparently. Whoa. But I think this episode might be out by after that. Look, we haven't recorded in a few weeks. I didn't make a note. It's fine. It's been fun.

And if you like the show, why don't you head over to MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recap that goes along with the podcast, pictures and videos. Yeah, pictures of everyone dying in an earthquake. Dirty dancing. Dirty dancing. For sure fifa fifa fan zone we'll see a picture of calypso yeah uh white ninja is a funny little guy this is a picture of him what's the biggest calypso song of all time under the No, the one from... Shake, shake, shake. Beetlejuice? Yeah, that one.

Shake your body like... Oh, no, the banana song. That's the biggest Calypso song, right? Bananas here and bananas there. That's the one. Everybody bananas. If you like the show, tell your friends. Leave a review on iTunes if you like.

And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.