Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 389 - Alicia Tobin

Episode Date: August 31, 2015

Everybody, this episode is pure joy. Alicia Tobin returns to talk about her new podcast and book, Seal, communicating through music, and street fights.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 389 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man from a land down under, Mr. Dave Shumka. Oops, I didn't know we couldn't talk about Vegemite. Really good.

We were listening to Madonna before the show and apparently the minute worked. Yeah, I heard that song earlier today. But when we were in Edmonton, we heard that song on the radio. And we were like, so this was songwriting in the 80s. Yeah. About a guy who's walking around. Somebody gives him a sandwich. Somebody gives him breakfast.

Really? That's what that song's about? It's about being Australian. Yeah. Like, there's no... Like, I'm from, you know... I thought you were talking about the Madonnaonna song oh yeah yeah i was like really yeah it seems a little pedestrian for her but like yeah there's no song about being from a

like a country like i'm from norway this is our song i know that that's a song it is a hit now um our guest today uh a very funny comedian the host of her own podcast now called retail nightmares that is correct uh miss alicia tobin is our guest yeah that's the first standing ovation that a guest has ever gotten off the top of the show. Sorry. Our audience is broken. Sorry, I'm just going to take a refreshing drink. Pretty good, you guys. Thanks, guys.

Oh, come on. You were a lap. I'll turn that off. No listener wouldn't have heard it. Should we get to know us? Get to know us. So, Miss Tobin, what's new? This one, that one. Whoopee, boop, boop.

All right. Now that you've gotten that out of your system. You know you're everyone's favorite guest. So, now you're just coasting. I didn't even put on deodorant. I put it on twice today. Yeah, you have to. I put it on twice. I never had to do it before.

All summer long I've had to. Yeah, it's been kind of gross. Yeah. I'm waking up in the middle of the night just drenched in sweat. Oh, yeah, that's the best. It's terrible. What? What's new with me but it's not in a dramatic way like in movies like waking up no it's slow i wake up because i slid right out of bed like a wet banana yeah yeah uh

okay alicia all right what's going on what's going on? You're in the hot seat now. What's going on? Put your armpits down. I will not put them down. Approach the microphone. I'm not close enough to the microphone? You know what? You're a podcast professional now. I shouldn't second guess you. Yeah.

Well, our sound guy. Stop touching the microphone. Well, I got this new podcast going with Jessica Delisle called Retail Nightmares. And we get artists. Usually, we're going back and forth between a rock star and a comedian. So, so far, you've had Huey Lewis. Huey Lewis. Jon Bon Jovi.

Then we had the news. Oh, as a group? Yeah. First, we had Jon, and then we had Bon Jovi. Do you think those are two separate people? Yeah. Is there only one Bon Jovi in Bon Jovi. Do you think those are two separate people? Yeah. Is there only one Bon Jovi in Bon Jovi? No, it's like the Ramones.

They're all Bon Jovi. No, like in Van Halen, two of them are named Van Halen. Oh, yeah. And two of them are Bon Jovi. Yeah, that's true. Well, now in Van Halen, three of them. We are all Bon Jovis.

Mm-hmm. Just we Charlie. Just we Jovi. Someone in my garbage can threw a Charlie Hebdo newspaper away. I'm like, you, that's recyclable. And also, you didn't read that. Yeah. Bought it because you thought it would be an important historical document.

Realized it was in French. Just we Charlie, pour juste un instant. Yeah. Just we, un peu raciste. Pas un petit peu. Just sweet Charlie for just an instant. Yeah. Just sweet. For racist. Just a little bit. I imagine not every edition of Charlie Hebdo was racist, but it might have been. Well, I don't know. We'll never know.

There's no way of possibly looking it up. That's true. So you've got a new podcast. It focuses on the awfulness that is working in a uh a retail job that's right and so which you've had several 17 years of retail i thought you're gonna say 17 jobs yeah no but one for every day on the calendar more than eight um what's been what was the worst not to take the steam out of your own podcast but um the worst job i ever had oh start with the cutest boy you ever saw the cutest sipping cider through a straw

what is that the cutest boy i ever saw was zipping sigh through a straw i don't know this the cutest boy did you not go to camp well yeah I did But I think we didn't sing that song At camp I pretended I had a broken leg So I didn't have to go to church Every day That's not camp That's church

Yeah That's what I was mad about Oh it was church Like church camp? Yeah What did you have to wake up Every morning and go to church? Yes but we weren't

Practicing Catholics Right But I wanted to go to Catholic church To hang out with my only friend Who was Catholic. Oh, okay. And yeah,

I was an introvert then, didn't like sharing, sharing space too much. With God. So I pretended to be sick or later on during the week, a broken leg. And then.

No one believed. And then the priest visited you every day. Yeah. And you're like, oh, this is much worse. Oh boy. I didn't know what to do

in church. It was so strange. And I couldn't take communion because I'd never had my first communion. And you're like, oh, this is much worse. Oh, boy. I didn't know what to do in church. It was so strange. And I couldn't take communion because I'd never had my first communion. And you were starving. You wanted a wafer. Yeah. Then later on, the radio station showed up to play baseball with us. And I was so annoying.

What is going on? Is this a Mad Lib? I don't know. No, they showed up with some sort of fundraiser for the camp. And I was such an annoying little kid. And the radio DJ was there and he was doing the radio. Oh, okay. I kept bugging him and telling him jokes and he got so annoyed.

What's new with me? Stop enjoying avoiding the question. Stop enjoying the question. What was your worst job? There's so many. Pick one. And then elaborate. Yeah.

My worst job. Oh, she's pretending to have a broken leg to get out of the question. Okay, I'm going to just go with this one. Yeah, don't think too hard The worst job was working

At a store on Saint Laurent Street 1995 96 I'm guessing I really needed a job I This is in Montreal In Montreal

And it was this really fancy High end store For like cool kids And it was open Until 11 at night And it sold really expensive Designers 11 at night

Cool children Or like cool The cool kids Like the cool kids Like teenagers Yeah and it sold really expensive. 11 at night? Like cool children? Or like cool, the cool kids. Like the cool kids. Like teenagers. Yeah. And it was run by this guy. That's so crazy. It was open till 11 at night.

Yeah. And he was just, he was really strange. He smoked a lot of pot and he was really paranoid. And he always tells about his brother and how his brother embezzled a lot of money from him. And he was going to get him in court. And then it turned out he had embezzled all the money himself. But he did really cool stuff. Like he would do sit-ups in front of the female salespeople while wearing short shorts and

his testicles would fall out. Oh, yeah. That's a classic. That's a maneuver. And he had some way. Nagging and sit-up testicle reveal. Did he have like a hot body? No, no.

He was very How about his testicles? Yeah, does testicles have a six pack? His testicles kind of look like you know when you go for like really authentic

wonton soup. Did he have a six pack of testicles? Yeah, he sure did. Yeah, he had udders. I apologize to anyone that's listening for the first time.

Or that has six testicles and feels singled out. Yeah, like a spider. Yeah, he was just really, really awful to work for. And I was also going to say, like, my pants fit like a glove, but that's fine. Nuts. Oh, yeah. Nuts. That was the worst job

and he was just like super weird and always stoned and super paranoid and we used to have to buy the clothes to work there

oh yeah and it was in the very beginning of American apparel days so we would buy a t-shirt or whatever to wear to work and then wash it in cold water and hang it to dry

and it would still shrink to the size of a baby bib um what uh so yay just like larry king used to do i'm sorry i've been reading a lot of Mad Magazine. What was the most expensive thing you've ever sold? In my life? Yeah. I sold $13,000 worth of teak furniture to Donald Sutherland. Oh, Don Sub.

Yeah. What if he still has it? If he still has his house, I'm sure he does because that stuff lasts forever. You can try to break it. They did it once on Will it blend and it wouldn't. They wouldn't? Yeah. They couldn't blend a teak in a table?

You know what? They couldn't fit it in. Ah, that's. They got it on a technology. Asterix. When someone buys something super expensive and you're making like $8 an hour. Yeah. Is it the very worst?

I was so young then that it didn't occur to me that making $10 an hour wasn't awesome. Okay. Right. Yeah. Like I was like 22 or 23. This is highway robbery. And I don't think I've really ever made minimum wage. Like I don't know what minimum wage is now.

I've made minimum wage. Yeah. And it comes with the exact type of treatment you think. Minimum treatment. Yeah. Minimum respect. Minimum esteem. I remember getting in trouble at, I worked at Toys R Us, and I helped somebody, like

they bought like a jungle gym, and I helped them like strap it to the roof of their car, and they gave me a tip. And they, well, it was me and another guy, and the guy was like strap it to the roof of their car and they gave me a tip and uh they well it was me and another guy and the guy was like oh we're not allowed to accept tips and I was like I'll accept the tip and then he squealed on me yeah and I was the same well I denied it I'll give for you yeah he said uh yeah and prove it. Find it. Oh, it was in my butt. Oh my God. With all the other tips. Yeah. What was that guy's deal?

I think because it was a temporary job and they said like half of us would be let go and then the other half would stay on. He was trying to be in the stay on camp. And I was like, I want to be in the cash in my pocket. Yeah. Have you ever? Because in retail retail you don't get tipped. At the place where we sold the furniture, we did get tips because we would deliver furniture and deliver plants and make bouquets. Like it was a really interesting store and there's a lot of, it was pretty high end. And the biggest tips came from the hockey players that played it, like for the Canadians

that shop there they were the best like if you could those guys and the drug dealers most generous tippers because drug dealers would want to set up their houses really quickly and uh they're like oh yeah this is this is in style and this looks good and we just like roll our eyes yeah i'm only going to be here three weeks so uh let's get this rolling yeah we definitely got tips. But it depended. Like sometimes it was $20 or $30. Sometimes it was $5. And yeah, that's not exciting.

Have you ever worked a job where you got tips? No. Poof. This. Yeah, that's true. Go to MaximumFun.org and click on Donate. Yeah. And then click on Cash Tips. Don't tell donate. Yeah. And then click on cash tips.

Don't tell Dave. Yeah. Because Dave will squeal on you. Yeah, it's... So that's all in the distant past. What's happening with you right now? Well, I co-authored a cookbook this year. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. You CO to CB? CA to CB? Author with an A. Yeah. You CO to CB? CA to CB? The author with an A. Yeah. Not like otter. Otter. Co-ottered.

I co-ottered. Some clams that I found. And then we fucked a seal to death. Is that what they do? Yeah. What? Yeah, you didn't know that? Well, how many of them?

It's a thing that happens all the time. But like one at a time or is a gang bang? It's just one otter and one baby seal. Oh, baby seal. Yeah. That is awful. Do otters think that they're otters? Like do they think the baby seals are otters or do they?

I think they're also quite vicious with female otters. Oh, yeah. It's not great. Right? They're so cute. Is there a, like, you trust them? But remember the time

we saw one on your grandmother's yard? No. Oh, it was terrifying. It was like the size of a raccoon and it moves really creepily.

Yeah. Not for me. Well, they're not supposed to be out of the water on people's lawns. Well, he was. I've heard them

about them, like, playfully killing a dog as well. Oh, really?. I've heard them about them like playfully killing a dog as well. Oh, really? Yeah, they're nuts. Like they pull them underwater

like a swimming dog and then pull them underwater and then slit their throat. That's not true. Is that true? Is that true? Yeah.

With a little knife or whatever they use to open oysters. Do they have like a sharp claw? Yeah, they don't. No, they have a rock. They like keep

a special rock in like they've got a pouch somewhere. No, they've got like a holster. You guys are not being real. No, that's true. With a little police badge. Yeah, and a little sheriff's hat. No, they do. They have a pouch they keep a rock

in. Really? Yeah. Send any corrections to at Graham Clark. But they do, they have a, they like have a rock. They pick out rocks to smash mussels with and then eat them. But where do they keep the rock? In a little pouch. A little pouch on their butt. In a little fanny pack.

Like a, like a. I am going home. What minute are we in here? We've made it longer than usual. You mean like a kangaroo pouch? Like they have something in their anatomy to hold it? Yeah, a little pouch. It's like, I want

to believe. Yeah, of course. But I didn't know that they killed dogs. Well, they killed a dog. Yeah, of course. But I didn't know that they killed dogs. Well, they killed a dog. Oh, just one? To send a message. That we know of. If they had any cavemen near Grandpa, I would smash their head in.

Yeah. You can't swim. I swim really well. Really? Well, it's an otter. No. Yeah, that's true. Otters really can move.

Why do you guys always have to compare me to otters? Oh, well. I don't know. You beg the comparison. that's true. Otters really can move. Why do you guys always have to compare me to otters? Oh, well. I don't know. You beg the comparison. You try smashing open muscles with a rock. It's very clumsy. Yeah. You kept trying to have sex with a seal.

That is true. So soft. The singer. Yeah. He was married at the time. Guys. What? I would not do that.

You wouldn't have sex with seal? You wouldn't have sex with seal? You wouldn't have sex with Seal? No, would you? Yeah, why not? Yeah. Okay. Kiss from a rose. Can you name a second Seal song?

There are plenty. I got it. I got it. Heidi, I'm sorry I yelled at the kids for touching my cameras. That's fun. I don't know another Seal song. I feel that there's a song in my head that I know isn't by Seal. You gotta be cool.

You gotta be cool. You gotta be cool. That's by a woman. I know. But can't you picture Steele singing it? Yes. Yes. I'm just going to look up his discog.

Steele discography. Does he just do covers of other people's songs, like Elton John songs? Yeah, he does. He did a whole album, Elton and Me. Everyone should do that album crazy is that we're never gonna survive yeah that's the one unless we get it um kiss from a rose those are the big two yeah kiss from a rose was uh Those are the big two. Yeah, Kiss from a Rose was so funny.

Are the lyrics a kiss by a rose on the wind? Baby. Close. Don't you know that a kiss by the rose on the wind. Don't you know in kisses and roses you do. Baby. Baby. Don't you know it's a kiss from the rose on the wind?

Is it on the wind? I don't know. I thought it was a kiss from a rose. On a whim? Well, no, I thought it was on the break, like on a break of an ocean. No, it was on the brim, just on the very, like right the edge of the pedal of a rose. Oh, like. I can pray to the kids from a rose on the brim. Baby.

Oh, the real rose that he wears on the brim of his hat. Oh, yeah. Him and Blossom were the one and two. Baby. I don't know about the future. He also did a cover of Fly Like an Eagle. Oh, how's that go? Went to fly like

an eagle. To the rose on the brim. Rose on the brim. Was that maybe in the Space Jam soundtrack? The cover of Fly Like an Eagle was, yeah. And the Kiss from a Rose was on the Batman Forever soundtrack.

Really? Yeah. Good stuff. So that, when you saw the video, it was him singing and then a lot of clips from the movies. It was one of those. Oh, yeah. Remember when there would be a famous song from a movie, they would put out a, just rush out a video with clips from the movie in it. A clip from the film on a brim.

I've looked at the lyrics. Yeah. Baby. Yeah. Baby. I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.

What? No one's going to listen to the whole line. Just put in a word. Yeah. On the gray? On the gray. I think brim is better.

I think wind is better. Yeah. I think shin is better. That sounds so delicate. A kiss from the rose on the wind pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay pay you can deposit it directly to my account pay pay pay pay pay you were a soccer player Pele Pepe you were a little French skunk

on the rose on the brim well it's been great having you thank you how's my vocal fry guys how's my vocal fry that's very hot right now. I was, that's your, um, what's the other one?

Up speak? Up talk? Whatever. How, how is it? How is it? Um. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you? Thank you. We can't do it. Thank you. Um, you wrote a cookbook? I did. Okay. What's it called?

Keto Genesis. K-E-T-O Genesis. Yeah. That's about Keto Kaelin. K-e-t-o genesis yeah that's about keto caitlin k-e-t-o genesis um and it's about the book the foods it's about it's a whole food cookbook uh but they're high fat low carb recipes uh which is great for people that uh have like type 2 diabetes uh don't really use glucose in a very effective way, want to lose a little bit of weight. What do I use glucose for?

Everything. Yeah. You're using it right now. Yeah. I mean, I use it to make like a gingerbread house. Yeah. In. Syrups.

Mm-hmm. When I make a syrup. Oh, it's nice in syrups. Yeah. A barbecue sauce. Mm-hmm. A ketchup. A sweet relish. a gummy bear, you know, a sugar-filled gum.

Now, let me just stop you for a second. A gusher. You use it in vinyls. Gushers. Bonkers. I use them in bonkers. Or you use it in runts. Yeah. When you make your homemade run or use it in runts yeah when you make

your homemade runts homemade runts they're just bananas they're homemade runts oh like a shitty mom

would do I know how much all the other kids love runts I made homemade runts you were gonna say go on just that

part about glucose yeah glucose was it fun to write the book or not parts of it were fun Go on. Just that part. About glucose. Yeah, glucose. Was it fun to write the book or not? Parts of it were fun. Was it fun to photograph food? Yes, that part was really fun.

I heard you got the famous camera owner, Seal, to photograph it. He was so angry when we touched his camera. Sorry, my cameras are all dirty. My filthy kids are touching them. Hi there. Don't you know that this divorce is for real? Where are you going? My cameras.

Those are mine. You can't get them in the divorce. But the kids are yours. Those little assholes touching my stuff. Yeah. Fuck them. I don't need anybody but these cameras. Fuck them.

I don't need anybody but these cameras. Did you have to do, because sometimes you see on the like, how did they do that kind of shows? There's like food stylists. No, no. I got a great story for you. Okay. So I have a friend named Shane Patey. He lives in Toronto and he was a professional food stylist for a number of years. And when we started

the project, He styled food for Nicole Richie, he styled food for, uh, Chatelaine magazine. Kim Stewart. Oh yeah,

Chatelaine Red Book. He did some work for Red Book. Good housekeeping. So I, we didn't, we were starting to look for quotes

to see who could do the photography for us and the, and like to cook and take the pictures for us. And the first quote we got was really high. And it wasn't even really from someone that I considered that qualified. So I thought I would reach into my pool of creative friends and say like, well, what's the kind of going rate? Like, what can you do in a day as a food stylist?

As a professional food stylist, he said maximum he could do four to six recipes a day. That's a full day of work. Right. So four shots at the end of the day, between four and six usable shots. Right. So on an average day, we did 17 recipes. Oh, man, it was stressful. So, but like, was it all the stuff that is photographed?

Is it all the food as it was? Yeah, there's nothing that's been professionally painted or anything, no. I heard that when they photograph ice cream, they use like Crisco. Yeah. One thing that's really hard to photograph. And they listen to Cisco all day. It's meat. It doesn't photograph well.

Like that's when you really need. Right? Because they have to like paint it and put grill marks on it. When I look back at the pictures and I think the ones that look the most. Gnarly? Gnarly are the meat ones. Especially something that was like braised or like in a sauce. Right.

Have you ever been to a restaurant where they've done some in-house photography of the menu? Oh, yeah. and you're like oh boy you guys no thank you i like the ones where the the asian food restaurants with the plastic plastify it oh yeah i love that and it's just uh like chopsticks suspended in midair pulling up some noodles yeah when i first moved here that was still a really big part of like sushi restaurants japanese restaurants especially and i especially and it was fascinating. I went to a store in Prague

and that's what they sold was fake display foods. Oh did you get anything? I did.

I got a little sushi roll. I lost it. Oh that's sad. But like it was open to the public which is weird because why would

you need that as a Because there's going to be drunk people. Drunk people stumble in and are like check it out yeah how do you do that thing where you flip your fingers back and forth dave's very good at it check it out yeah i'm very good at what is that called i don't know i was trying to think of the name the other day why did that become a thing

uh because teenagers because of the grade eights. Yeah. Yeah. The grade eights. Totally. We saw some grade eight haircuts last night with the shaved sides and then the ponytail up top. Oh, yeah. I've been seeing.

We saw two guys with that. I've been seeing that every, like, it used to be, it shaved all the way around. Yeah. And on men and women. I was only seeing like eight a day. I wouldn't remark on it, but I'm seeing a hundred of that haircut a day. I know. It's very unusual because it's so unbecoming to everybody. Except you, listener.

Yeah, I know. You're pulling it off. You look good. I remember seeing that haircut last, reminded me of a guy. Do you remember when you put your sunglasses on backwards and stared at them? Put them on. I didn't put them on backwards. I put them on upside down.

Yeah. Because the sunglasses on backwards goes on the back of your head, right? Sure. Yeah. Or it goes on with the, the arms pointing out of your head. Upside down. Yeah. Because Alicia kept telling me not to look at their hair, so I put on

sunglasses upside down and then looked at them. Which I thought was a good compromise. That's when I realized that Graham had not just had two beers. Oh no, I'd been drinking since the afternoon. In the heat. Where was this? It was a place called Meat on Main.

MEAT? No, MEAT. Oh, do they sell it? It's all vegetarian. Oh, I don't like it. It was good though. It's a- M-E-A-T? No, M-E-E-T. Oh, do they sell- It's all vegetarian. Oh, I don't like it. It was good, though. It was good. It is good. Yeah.

It was good, but it was also like, it was hot in there. Well, we also accidentally ordered the hottest things on the menu. Two idiots. Oh, yeah. As soon as we ordered, the waitress was like, so you guys like hot stuff? And we were like, no, really? Hot, spicy, or just hot? Spicy. It just comes right out of the oven. Hot, spicy or just hot? Spicy.

It just comes right out of the oven. It didn't have like the depth of flavor. It was just like burning hot. They gave you fresh cookies with the. Right off of the baking sheet. Yeah. Ow. Yeah.

The chocolate chips are still melty and burning my mouth. Don't touch the plate. It's very hot. They gave you a pizza pop. Hot, hot. Yeah. Oh, deadly. Deadly, then so cold.

If you make pizza pots, pizza pots, pizza pops in the oven. Yeah. Oh, I never. What are you, a gourmet? Because they're always so burning hot on the inside. No, they're usually. But McCain pizzas are really burning hot too. Frozen on the inside.

I feel like they alternate, like it's hot and then all of a sudden you just hit a cold pocket cools you out. But they're never perfect. No. In fact, I think they're a Canadian only thing

the pizza pops. Yeah. Really? Yeah, because they have bagelos. The frozen states is yeah.

Everything in the states in the frozen section just looks like a colon stuffed with something. Yeah. Like that's oh man. I'm so sorry for those guys. That's not true. You just have future visions.

You know how it's going to end up. I went to nutrition school. That's like your, yeah, that's your sixth sense is that you're able to see where the food ends up. It's just always people's toilets. Yeah, what the food's going to impact most. Oh, man. So, and the book's

a success, the cookbook. Yeah, it's doing okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean,

it's a success in the sense like all the words came out spelled right. For the most part. Yeah. The pictures weren't upside down.

No. The pages stay't upside down. No. The pages stay in the book. Yeah, that's true. They don't fall out. That is a huge downfall of a lot of books. Poor glue joints. The book's a success. Oh, did we sell some?

No, but look at this penmanship. Yeah. We hired a guy to handwrite every book. It's a lost leader But Well congratulations Thanks On both the podcast Thank you And the cookbook

Anything else shaken? I told you guys about my stray cat At the Yeah at the live show He's still around What do you name him? Benjamin? Benjamin

Yeah He definitely has a home. That was, I was wrong about that. You thought he was a stray. Yeah. But I tried to put a collar on him the other night and he was wily. Is this a reflective collar? Because one in six cats has a chance of being struck and killed by a car.

And so. I'd say six out of six has a chance. I mean, oh, that's how one in six cats dies. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I thought, okay, at the very least, if he doesn't really spend a lot of time at his house, I can put this reflective collar on him, which was not inexpensive. Oh, really?

Oh. Do you know who his owners are? No. Do you think they know about you? I think that they must know he's fed by more than one neighbor. Mm-hmm. But sometimes he's really- He was on the cover of Loved Cat magazine. Wait a minute.

You're unloved. Do you think other people, like, I think it would be fun to put more than a collar on him. Put, like,

a sweater or, like, a note. Yeah. Something that really lets them know. Well,

that was the plan was to write a note on the collar, like, and tape it to the collar and said, like, just, can you email me? Tell me where you live.

Or feed him. Or take off this collar if he's yours or whatever. Like, I'll know. Write a note and crumple it up and put it in his food. And then he'll eat it. He's too, he's so smart. I know. And he's very gentle. And certainly manipulative.

He's very gentle and he's a very beautiful cat. Yeah. Yeah. And he's got my number. Likeulative He's very gentle And he's very beautiful cat Yeah Yeah and he's got my number Like he knows that I'm just gonna feed him Tell everyone what's your number 604 And the rest

Dudes Okay Alicia's uncomfortable Fair enough Yeah the I like the The one in six cats statistic.

Like if you were telling a room full of cats, look to your left, look to your right. All of you are gonna die in a car accident. In a car accident? Why? It's not gonna be an accident. Well, it's not gonna be on purpose. Yeah, no, I know, but the car's not gonna...

The car's not gonna notice. Like, I've driven most of my life over cats daily. I've driven most days since I was 16, I would say, and I haven't noticed

myself hitting a cat, but I probably have hit several. Oh, sure. One every six days. Statistically. My math is correct. Guys, we should edit

this part out. What do you mean? Dave, what's going on with you? Graham! Don't you know that Graham won't be here for the summer? Yeah, we're recording. This is actually the final pre-taped episode. That's right.

Next week's episode will be as live as we get. Yeah, yeah. It'll be September. We'll all be back in school. Uh-huh. Oh, I hope we don't get stuck with Jenkins for gym. I'm gonna try it for the football team.

You're never gonna make it. You're a pipsqueak. I know. I've been working out over the summer. What are your plans for fall? Oh, I'm going back to... I don't have any plans. There you go. Okay, cool.

I may get an apartment, a new apartment so I can get a dog. Oh, the truth. Well, what's Benjamin going to do? Just take him. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's true. This is your new life, Benjamin. And then see him on the news a few weeks later when his owners were like,

we thought he was dead, but he came back. Yeah, I wouldn't take him. I'm sure he has people. He just is outside all the time. Yeah. He's like an outside cat. Although he's always trying to be inside with me. Yeah.

But he's very, he's like a little gentleman when he comes, because I've seen him come to the door and he'll wait. Does he come to you? Because you have, there's an outdoor door and an indoor door. So he usually calls from outside. He'll meow. I just got screens for my, he used to come in right through the window, which scared me a few times.

Um, or if he hears me coming home at night from a show or whatever, he makes a cute little chirping noise and runs through the bushes to find me. And, um, then he comes home and I feed him a can of food and give him some water and he cleans. Then you go to the artisanal cat food place where they scoop it? The gelato cat place. Gelato cat-o.

Yeah. El gato del gelato. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Guys, going back to school. To make my children proud. Yeah. Yeah. Yes!

Good for you. To show them that anything is possible. With your Minions backpack. Uh-huh. Whatever's popular. Yeah, because I'm a grown-up. And grown-ups like Minions. For some reason.

I enjoy those little guys. So, here's what's going on with me. I had like three pretty good topics last week. Oh, yeah. Of stuff that's been going on in the summer. This week, fewer. Fewer good topics. Sure.

But my favorite thing that happened, it happened like last week. And I am usually in charge of putting the baby to sleep. Usually with some of my old war stories. Landed on the beach. Yeah. Here we go again, Dad. We're all vomiting from nervousness.

Yeah. David Schwimmer was there. I mean, all the friends were there. I don't really, I think I only saw the first two episodes of bands of band of brothers, but Schwimmer was predominant. Yeah. Preeminent. Um, and, uh, yeah, so I'm in charge of putting her to bed.

Uh, uh, but we sort of have the time. Cause like she goes to bed around 7.30, and sometimes we eat dinner a little late, and Alicia's yawning visibly. Yeah. And I was like, is this boring? And then she proved it. And so sometimes, like, doing dishes happens at the same time as putting the baby down and her bedroom is right next to the kitchen. So sometimes he accidentally put a dish to bed and the baby's in the sink. Yeah.

Um, and, uh, uh, so the other night I was rocking in the rocking chair with her. Yeah. She's falling asleep and Abby's like clanging around in the kitchen. Yeah. rocking chair with her yeah she's falling asleep and abby's like clanging around in the kitchen yeah and uh uh the door is wide open and i just want to text her and i have my phone with me and i text her and i said because i don't even want to get up and wake up the baby and be like and just close the door so i just text abby can you close the door i whisper texted her and then i realized uh she didn't have her phone on her. Like it was in the other room while she was doing dishes.

And so I was like, oh, how can I communicate this? And I looked up, we belong to a streaming service, RDO. Oh, yes. And I streamed a song through the speaker in the kitchen. And I just like did a search for a song called Close the Door. And it turns out there's a Teddy Pendergrass song. Why do I know that? And, oh, he's a singer.

Okay. Is he a country singer? No, he's like a soul singer. Oh. And he, so I put the song on and it's on for like a minute and abby is not paying any attention to the song you put on baby come back and then so what i start doing it's like a slow jam so abby i'm sure abby's thinking like why is dave playing a slow jam it's 7 o'clock it's not gonna happen Dave and

so what I start doing is turning down the speaker remotely except for when he says close the door and I turn it up and then she figured it out and she closed the door but she closed the door with the dog still locked inside the room

and he got a little antsy so so I put on Who Let the Dogs Out. It was like my greatest, I felt like Helen Keller teaching that lady to talk. It's like there's a scene in Short Circuit where they get help by playing different songs. They're like, play Help Me Rhonda, and then they play a bit of another song. Oh, because the computer had access to that? No, they were able to kind of, what do you call it when you tap? What is it, Morse code? But they could play tunes through some speaker somewhere.

No, I don't buy that. No, this is the same thing. Can we sing Help Me Rhonda? Help me Rhonda, yeah, get her out of my heart. There you go. Why that part? I don't know. That seems to be the go-to part, though, isn't it?

Yeah, it's the best part. Yeah. That is pretty ingenious. Pretty ingenious way of doing that. Do you remember when the Toronto Blue Jays put out an album of all their hit songs about different players? No. No? And there was one about Mookie Wilson that was Help Us Mookie.

Help us Mookie. Help, help us Mookie. Yeah. Is that true? Yeah. Wow. I cannot remember any more of them. There was like a thing back in the 80s.

Pat Borders is a catcher. John Ola Root on first base. There was a thing in the 80s with whole teams singing a song. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they would put out singles of like the Dallas Stars singing some song, some famous song. That's amazing. Or the Super Bowl shuffle by the Bears. Oh, yeah.

Get Mets-merized by the New York Mets-merized. We're not here to cause no trouble. I'm just here to do the Super Bowl shuffle. Shuffle up. Get her out of my heart. The Super Bowl. Shuffle up. Get her out of my heart.

And the other thing that's been going on with me is the other day I was in the garden. Doing some gardening. Well, basically there was a giant root under the ground that was sort of like messing with the walkway. So I had to just chop up a root. Oh, fun. That's kind of fun. But I had to really go at it with some tools and um it's always crazy when you hit a root and it's all like wet inside it's crazy yeah it's always crazy how often are you hitting roots on a daily yeah we used to do

a lot when i was a kid for some reason roots would do the exactly what you're saying like they would start coming out of the sidewalk And fucking things up So you'd have to go and like chop up a root Yeah I don't own a place So I don't have to worry about root maintenance anymore Oh I just do it as a hobby I go

I knock on doors in the neighborhood Hey it's all your roots Yeah it's any roots I can Any roots you need chopping And while I was doing this Dave Shemka's root Hey, it's all your roots. Yeah, it's any roots I can, any roots you need chopping. And while I was doing this. Dave's Jimka's root chopper. Yeah, I know. What are you, it's your summer job.

Yeah. At least we've got a lemonade stand. And I, while I was doing this, I was listening to a podcast. And as always happens whenever I'm doing anything ever, my earbuds get caught on something and it violently yanked out of my ears. Oh, man. It's very startling. And they wound up in a pile of dirt. I'm wearing gloves.

And I'm just like, do you care if your earbuds are clean? Because I just put filthy earbuds back in my ears. I mean, if I'm in a situation where everything else is filthy, then I don't care. But if I've just stepped out of the shower and I'm listening to music and then they fall in a pile of something, I'm going to rinse them. I'm going to take those little rubber guys off, rinse them out, and then put them back in, put them in my ears. Yeah, they went in. They were like when you roll an ice cream cone and sprinkles. Oh, like it was just caked around like

crumbled up Oreos. Have you noticed since you became a dad, like you're just kind of letting more and more things slide? There's just stuff on the ground at all times. Right. And like there's that thing in TV shows that the dad gets really mad because he stepped on a painful toy. Yeah. Or whatever. That like the kid can't, at this point,

clean up after herself. I noticed. So, there's, like, there will be years of me stepping on toys before I can get mad.

I think I'll be used to it by the time, yeah. You'll never get used to stepping on Lego. No. Yeah. That really hurts.

That's true. That really hurts. Yeah. That, and that's like the primary offender, right? It's Lego, because you can't see it and then all of a sudden it hurts. Yeah. And that's like the primary offender, right? It's Lego.

Because you can't see it and then all of a sudden it hurts. Yeah. Or your keys. If your keys are in your pocket. Oh, sitting. And I got Lego keys. Oh, yeah. I've got Blocko keys.

They take up my whole pocket. What was the other one? Mega Blocks? Mega Blocks. Duplo. We saw the Mega Blocks factory yeah in montreal anyways big day look i saw the nutty club factory in winnipeg i saw the mega blocks factory in montreal and they're not uh scholastic headquarters in toronto they're not compatible with uh lego are they no although somebody told

me that all the every lego block is compatible with with every other Lego block that's ever been made. Yeah. But that's pretty like. Well, of course. Like, so the first ever Lego block works still with whatever. I hate to break it to you. Lego can even stick to Duplo. What?

Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. That's amazing. If you get enough, if you get a big enough piece. Oh, cool. What was, was, Duplo must have been, got a lawsuit against them. No, Duplo is made by Lego.

It's like a Lego you can't swallow. Does Duplo have the little rabbit as the? Maybe. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Duplo the rabbit. Yeah. From the children's book.

Because Duplo multiplies. You leave it around and there's just more of it. Yeah, rabbits are cute. They are. That's why they have so much sex. They find each other of it. Yeah, rabbits are cute. They are. That's why they have so much sex. They find each other very cute.

you're very attractive, yeah. And you're very attractive, and you are very attractive. Oh, yeah.

Let's go kill an otter. Oh, yeah. I'm doing it after the show. Graham, what is going on with you?

One night when I was in Toronto, this is my Toronto anecdote. Alicia's falling asleep. I know, she's violently yawning at us. I'm so sorry. I've been up since five.

Yep. Working five to nine. Do you know that that's the law? She's good at songs. Yep. Don't you know that working from five to nine is the law

so she never writes a song that doesn't start with the words don't you know don't you know yeah don't you know

so one night whenever I do a freestyle rap in the same vein I always start with talking about pretty good pretty that it's good to have a signature with your song right like you're like is this an alicia tovin no it's it started with talking about yeah talking about walking down the street and um so one night i was uh uh walking home uh in toronto walking to the place i was staying wasn't home but it was an airbnb and when you go somewhere you call wherever your stuff is

home you're like even though it's not that's sweet and when a bartender is like you don't have to go home but you can't stay here you're like what i what? I don't have a home currently. So don't bring that up. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's a trigger. Don't you know? And this is like, this isn't super late. This is one o'clock in the morning. And for someone who's yawning at eight.

Yeah. Yeah. So this is as late as, as a human could possibly stay up. And this is on Queen Street. Ooh, fancy. And I'm eating a, what's this place? A pizza pop.

I'm eating a poutine from this, it's fucking everywhere in Toronto, the Smokes. Yeah, we have it here. But is there only one here? Next to Harvey's? Yeah. That's the only one I know about. Is there a Harvey's downtown now yeah next to Smokes yeah

they're next door to each other so I'm walking home eating this poutine and then I see a guy running across the street with the craziest look of panic on his face like

like Indiana Jones being chased by a boulder you know like oh shit oh shit oh shit and then I see an entire bar like like, at least 20 guys, like, filing out and running after this guy. Like in a movie. Totally like in a movie.

And I was like, oh, man. Had he just knocked over all of their motorcycles? I have some things. We tried to figure out the next day, like, what would cause a whole bar's worth of guys to chase a guy? And we kind of came to the conclusion he must have done something gross to a woman. Oh, yeah. That's what we assumed. But I have no idea.

Anyway, so these guys caught him. Oh, no. No, I'm sure this was some sort of vigilante justice. And they caught him and they put him on their shoulders. Yeah, and they sang for he's a jolly good fellow. And then that was the end. I went home. Yeah.

Alicia, plug your ears and Graham will say what really happened. So they kind of wailed on this guy for a bit. Like a guitar? They hit him? Oh, and then some. Really? But he, like when the cops, somebody was calling the cops, and when the cops came, everybody ran, including the guy who was beaten up,

because I'm like, he must have done something. And then these two. Wait till they hear my side of the story. I better get out of here. Like, yeah, when he took off, too, I was like, okay, well, he must have done something bad. And he didn't get beaten so badly that he couldn't run away. No, no. Yeah, but he definitely was going to wake up with two black eyes for sure.

Sure. Wow. And a raspberry. Oh, absolutely. Better than a Zerbert. And then these two guys came over after everything had all cleared out, and they were like, hey, man, we were just watching you the whole time you were standing like a foot away from the fight just eating poutine

they were like blown away they were like you didn't move or anything you just stood there and ate poutine the whole time and i can bet because i've seen you eat food so many times you had a napkin delicately placed in one hand, and after every bite, you would wipe your mustache. Yeah. Make sure there's no gravy on it. Yeah, exactly. So that was my gravy. You can get it in your beard, don't you know, from the booty.

Talk about. So anyways, that was just a fun Toronto. That was fun I doubt Graham the the vigilante justice

observer observer you're like the guy who watches Batman beat up the Joker and has a snack while doing it

yeah um yeah this fight is exhausting yeah but it was it was. But it was. It was pretty crazy. But I have a hard time believing that guy didn't do something bad.

You know what I mean? The defense rests. Yeah. Your Honor. Your Honor, he ran away afterwards. He made 20 dudes mad. Yeah. Were they all getting licks in?

Yeah. Some more than others. And then one guy got a late late one in and i even said to him i was like nobody liked that nobody liked that last guy coming in and getting his you said to the guy who did it yeah and with a mouthful of teen yeah maybe it might have been in between mouthfuls okay but uh no not cool not. Anyways, they all ran off except me. I sauntered off. Because it really looked like I hadn't been part of anything.

I really hadn't. And yeah, so that's it, man. That's a good story. That's a pretty good story. Do you guys want to move on to overheard? Yeah. I listen to Bullseye because it gives me all the information on things that I know I want to know about, but it also gives me inside information on things that I didn't even know I wanted to know about,

such as music, arts, movies, people I should be connected with, people that I end up connecting with thanks to Bullseye. Bullseye is your guide to what's good. From MaximumFun.org and NPR. Welcome to the Lady to Lady Show. Behind door number one, we have fantastic weekly guests like Aisha Tyler, French Stewart, Greta, and more. Behind door number two, we have road trip and sleepover games like Would You Rather and Never Have I Ever, the kind of games that remind you of being a kid. Door number three brings you fresh, hot episodes every Wednesday.

You can find them on iTunes and at MaximumFun.org. Now pick a door. Just kidding. They're not real because we're a podcast. You're all winners. And we didn't really think this through. Lady to lady. winners. And we didn't really think this through.

Lady to lady. Overheard. Overheard. Overdues. Oh, jeez. Well, now she's cranked up before she was yawning. He gave me sugar. I gave you some from not a sponsor,

NatureBox, some strawberry lemonade stars sponsor, Nature Box. Yeah. Some strawberry lemonade stars. Oh, man. Yeah, they're so good, guys. And now she's just spinning like a top. And I had a square of dark chocolate. Yeah. You're happy as a clam.

Yeah, guys. Can't wait to see the crash. Will happen in about four minutes. Well, let's get you while you're happening. All right. We always like to start overheards with the guest. Okay, let's get you while you're happening. We always like to start overheards with the guest. Okay, so I overheard this on the bus.

I overheard it a little while ago. And this woman was speaking with her friend. They're sitting in the front seats, you know, the ones that are usually reserved for seniors. They weren't quite there yet. And she said, Oh, yeah, I've lost a bunch of weight. You should try it. You just put a couple of tablespoons in your coffee and you skip breakfast,

and I've already lost 12 pounds. And then her friend said, oh, wow, that's amazing. I'm totally going to try it. Any side effects? She said, yeah, occasional diarrhea. And then her friend said, how occasional?

She said, about once a day. But not constant. It's not constant, but it's a regular, regular diarrhea. Oh, wow. What is she putting in her coffee? It's MCT oil. I heard that by her name.

MCT oil? Yeah. What does that stand for? Medium chain triglycerides. Oh, there you go. Look at you. Is that like a butter? It's like the bulletproof coffee stuff.

What's the bulletproof coffee stuff? It's when you put like butter and MCT oil in your coffee and you don't eat breakfast. But then. And so you're burning fat instead of sugar. Oh, but like, does it make you, does it make the bowels move faster? Does it make you horny? Do I make you coffee? You're combining two of Mike Meyer's greatest creations.

Dave, do you have an overheard? I do. It's written down somewhere, I swear. My overheard. Oh, yeah. It's an overseen. I swear. My overheard. Oh, yeah. It's an overseen. Oh, you do the best overseen. Shut up.

You all shut up. You all shut up. Give me some of those stars. Why didn't you bring the stars down here? I know they're from the States and they're expensive, but they're so good. They're not expensive. Very reasonable. I want some.

Listeners, if you're really my number one fan and you live in the USA. We get them here. Oh. Here's what's up. I was overseen. I do the best ones. It's true. You are staring through me.

You're burning a hole in my face. All of a sudden my foot got really itchy from the stars. Oh, it must be the MCT oil. Did they have corn in them? No, I read you all of the ingredients per the social contract. And I'm walking by this church and they have a sign up with like a cartoon guy in a flying saucer. And there's a sign for a play that the Bible school is putting on.

It says, Bible school presents Jesus to eternity and beyond. Oh, wow. Yeah. So is Jesus in the little flying saucer? No. I think the guy is probably like a John Everyman. Oh, yeah.

Who gets transported to Jesus Land. Wow. Sort of an Arthur Dent type. Oh. Mm-hmm. The inventor of the dent. Yeah. Before him, nobody knew what to call them.

Yeah, no one knew how to damage a car. And a dentist was just called an ist. Mm-hmm. Et cetera. And she's fading. Yeah, and here she goes. Hey, I was being quiet. And sleep.

My overseeing. Overseeing. You do, Graham, can I say, you do the best overseeing. Thank you very much. Top two. I saw a guy on the streetcar, and he had a bunch of notes. Was this in Toronto as well?

This is in Toronto. Home of the streetcar? He had written felt pen notes on his forearm, and the one that I could read said, get real headphones. Did you witness him writing it? No, no. I just saw it on his arm. It could be a tattoo. Oh, that's true.

That would be a really good tattoo. Hey, I got a huge tattoo. That was something that I did. Too late. We're past that now. Fuck you guys. You had your chance. You had your chance in our segment tattoo talk.

But you were all like, I want to talk about Seal. That's true. Don't you know that I want to talk about Seal? Don't you know? I do know. Now, we also have overheards sent in to us. These are always the best ones. It's true.

I mean, they're not as good as Dave's overseens, but they'll do. They'll do in a pinch. If you want to send one in to us, you can send them in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Ashley R. Jeez Louise. R. It's like having to take a kid to the bank. I need you to take me to the bank again to do the chains thing.

I just want to play with the pins on the chains. Stop swinging on the chains. But can you take me to take the pennies back to the thing? Yeah, yeah, of course. Thanks. That's a verbal contract. Yeah. Binding?

Binding in every province. Not territories. We don't have pennies anymore. You can still cash them in? You can still cash them in. province. Not territories. We don't have pennies anymore. You can still cash them in? You can still cash them in. Yeah. At the TD Bank at 18th and Main

if you're a TD Bank customer as is somebody in this room. Mm-hmm. It's me. Guys, it's me. Okay. This first one comes from Ashley R. I received this.

Well, she says it's hilarious spam. I'll let you guys be the judges. In my work email inbox the other day, and it made me laugh because the email Jurassic came from seemed like a pretty strange way to sell anything. So the topic heading is, can you have joy for hours? And the sender is Go fuck yourself, asshole

I wonder what they're selling I don't know It's either a sex or a pill Yeah, it's gotta be I think it's a pill to have a sex I think it's a sex to have a pill Yeah, nine months later a pill comes out Seems easier

Yeah, it would be easier to give birth months later, a pill comes out. Seems easier. Yeah, it would be easier to give birth if just a tiny pill came out and then you dunk it in water and it's a baby.

Oh, it's like one of those dinosaurs? Yeah, the shrinky dick. Oh, that would be so cool. I mean,

that's the future of baby me. How about it, science? Get up on it. Baby! That's what we're talking about. This next one comes from Ryan H.

I was in a bar a while back and happened to see a guy running up to a girl on her way out and he furiously tapped her on the shoulder. When she turned around, he said, I just know we know each other somehow. Did you go to Homestead High School?

She replied, no. And he looked slightly stunned for maybe a second before replying, neither did I. That must be how we know each other. Do you think that was that guy's pickup line? That's not bad. That's not bad. Except that he looked stunned. He should have been ready for that.

He also shouldn't have been tapping her furiously. Whap, whap, whap. Except that he looked stunned. He should have been ready for that. He also shouldn't have been tapping her furiously. Yeah. Whap, whap, whap. Homestead High School, that sounds very, you know. Made up. Well, like the. Like the first ever high school? It just sounds like in the 1950s, like Hill Valley.

Oh, yeah. Before they started naming every school after somebody? After John F. Kennedy or Robert F. school after somebody? After John F. Kennedy. Or Robert F. Kennedy. That's true. Or Kirk Kennedy. Kirk Kennedy, the coolest Kennedy. Motorbike high.

This last one comes from Neil B. At a mall food court, a mother with two girls who are acting up. As opposed to like a department store food court. Oh, yeah. Sweet burn. I'm being. Well, I guess it could be an airport food court. Oh, damn it.

Yeah. Poking holes in my zingers. A mother with two girls who are acting up. They're maybe 10 and 13. The mother says, do you want a salad? The girl say, no. Then are acting up. They're maybe 10 and 13. The mother says, do you want a salad? The girl say, no. Then smarten up.

Threatening your kids with salad. That's amazing. Yeah, it's not a bad technique. Those are great overheards. Thanks. I can't remember the last time or the first time I enjoyed a salad. Or like had a salad as a meal.

Really? I had a salad years ago meal really i had a salad you remember your first wonderful salad we ate salads every dinner growing up we had salads with dinner but then my mom would put something in that like that you really like like cheese or no no she would put in like avocado oh which as a kid yeah that's not a it's just an excuse to not eat the salad. Well, it got on everything else. It's a fluid solid. Yeah. I think the first salad I ever had as a meal, like where that was the whole meal, was not until I moved to Vancouver. Maybe when Wendy's was sold out of everything else.

No, I would just go to somewhere else. I know for sure that was like when chicken Caesars, Cajun chicken Caesars became a thing. Yeah. Like it was just Cajun chicken on a Caesar salad and that was the thing that everybody was eating for like a year. Yeah, my sisters used to get like a Caesar salad

and it did look good. Oh, yeah. Caesar. It's not really a healthy thing. No, it's like. But it's crunchy. It's like, you know, lettuce Alfredo. Totally. That is a great comparison. No, it's like... But it's crunchy. It's like, you know, lettuce Alfredo.

Totally. That is a great comparison. Thank you. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, well, first of all,

those phone calls are the best part. They're the best overheards. They're the best. They're the best. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328 like these people have.

Hey Dave, Graham, and eminent guest. I have an overheard for you. It's actually from a little while ago. Sure. I was in the checkout line at the grocery store and the bagger was... You can't hear it? No. Can he hear us talking no

i mean no i didn't mean that i didn't mean that and eminent guest i haven't overheard what did you mean i meant are we being recorded while he's talking? Yeah. Yes. But we... You, a person from a little while ago. I was in the checkout line at the grocery store. And the bagger was speaking to the cashier, I think, about having to work an extra shift. He said, you know, it's just another nail in my coffee.

Ah, nail. And the cashier looked at him and said, huh? And the bagger responded, you know, the phrase another nail in my coffee. And the cashier looked at him for a little bit and then said, oh yeah, I know that one. Yeah, I don't want to rock the boat here. Well, the bagger outranks the cashier at this supermarket, so you better go along with it. Yeah, I always thought cashier was top dog, and then bagger was the person training. Yeah, no, that's probably the case. Although sometimes the baggers are going between two or three cashiers at a time.

They're just helping out. Sometimes they're a manager. Baggers can't be choosers. That's very good. I'll show myself that. That's very good. They're just helping out. Sometimes they're a manager. Packers can't be choosers. That's very good. I'll show myself that. That's very good. You're all very good. Although you think the manager outranks them all.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Have you ever been in a store where like somebody fucked up and the manager is working the cash? Oh, yeah. And he's just like,

you know that somebody got drunk and didn't show up for their shift. And he's smiling and he's got beefy forearms. Yeah. And it's Popeye. Next phone call.

The big reveal. Hey, Dave, Graham, and Jess. This is Matt from San Francisco calling in with an overheard. Same guy? Actually, my girlfriend's overheard. When she was in New York, she was walking down the street, and she crossed paths with a guy who was walking his dog. The dog was apparently being difficult.

The guy frustrated, then said to his dog, David, she talked about this. To the dog? Yeah, he said to the dog. Oh, that's so sweet. We talked about this. We talked about this in therapy. We've been over this a hundred times. That was a great overheard. Yeah, that's so sweet. We talked about this. We talked about this in therapy. We've been over this a hundred times. That was a great overheard.

Yeah, that was really fun. Yeah. It's a thinker. Yeah. You know this hurts my feelings. Yeah, yeah. David, you're being obtuse. Yeah.

Stop using, you know, what are the things they say? Like, stop using accusatory tones. Stop saying you did this. Yeah. We did this together, David. Yeah, David, start saying I feel. I feel like. When you do this, you are just a dog.

Yeah. I feel like when we dug a hole in the backyard to bury Kevin. Maybe he's mad, the dog's mad that he gave him a human name. Oh. David is a fantastic name.

Also, we don't know that it wasn't the dog saying to the human. Right? Right. Because David's

definitely a human name. Yeah, that's true. So maybe the dog was saying. It means king. It's from the Bible. Yeah, that's true. What does Alicia mean?

I think the honest one or truthful one. I'll look it up on my iPhone. Yeah, what does Graham mean? Host. And Dave means. Host. Dave means like surfer. Surfer?

Yeah. Yeah. Cool, cool dude. Cool, cool like surfer Yeah Cool surfer dude Okay Well here's the final phone call

If we don't find out What Alicia means We can live with it It's It's a Teutonic baby name In Teutonic The meaning of the name Alicia Is noble humor

Latin meaning The name Alicia In Latin Is a baby name Something Something you know Hi guys This is Whitney

In San Diego I'm calling with an overseen I was just driving home Alicia and Ladin, same name, something. Something, you know what? Hi, guys. This is Whitney in San Diego. I'm calling with an overseen. I was just driving home, and I saw this kid standing at the side of the road, looking like he was going to cross it. He looked both ways, ran into the middle of the road, gave two pelvic thrusts, and then ran back to the same side of the road. Fuck you, traffic.

Yeah. Oh, man. What are kids even doing? Do you guys even care what my name means? Yeah. It means Teutonic. Yeah. It means Teutonic means. Yeah.

It means noble beast. Yeah. Yeah. It means special, special pig. Yeah. Yeah. Like a beast who walks on two legs. Yeah. Yeah. It means. Special, special pig. Yeah, yeah. Like a beast who walks on two legs. Yeah. The beast with two backs.

It means humidity and hair. Are you just going to look at your phone? I'm looking it up, but I can't find an answer. All right. Okay, well. All right, well, this is the end of this here podcast. Is it? Yep. What would All right. Well, this is the end of this here podcast. Is it? Yep.

What would you like to plug, Alicia? You guys can come visit me at Hot Art Wet City. I do a monthly show there called Alicia Tobin's Come Draw With Me. Yeah. That's on a Friday usually. Yeah. Usually on a Friday. Great to see you.

If you're in from out of town, send me a message and I will give you a ticket. Yeah. I've had a few people show up from the podcast, which has been nice. And how can they contact you? Twitter? Yeah, that'd be great. Twitter's great. Alicia A. Tobin on Twitter? Yeah, that's because I got Alicia Tobin, but then I forgot

the password. Sure. I couldn't get back in. What's your middle name? Anne. What does that mean? Anne. Short form of and. Oh. You also host a podcast, I understand. It's called Retail Nightmares.

Yeah. The website is retailnightmares.com. You can find us on iTunes. And wherever fine podcasts are sold. Yeah, fine podcasts sold. And your cookbook, where can people buy that? Ketogenesis.ca. Okay.

K-E-T-O. Genesis. Genesis. Genesis. Uh-uh. Genesis. Genesis. Genesis.

Uh-uh. Talk about. It's the first book of the Bible. It's an old-fashioned revival. It's not going to get better than that. Oh, it might. If you like the podcast Why don't you head over to MaximumFun.org

Check out the blog and read It's a miracle anything rhymes Yeah, no, you're right They set up the language that some words would just rhyme with other words Have you heard other language Music from other languages? It's just gobbledygook Yeah, it's true

You can't pick out any rhymes um head over to the blog at maximumfund.org pictures and videos relating to the content of this pod surely seal will make an appearance yeah did we mention seal well i well i don't know if you'll be able to cut out all the mentions well not if we want to have a podcast. Yeah. Honestly, from the amount we were recording that Madonna song before we started, I thought it was all going to be... It was going to be Madonna heavy? I didn't know we couldn't talk about Seal.

Thanks for being our guest, Alicia. It was so much fun. Thanks so much for having me. And this is the last week of August, I think. I don't know. Yeah. Maybe you're still in Edinburgh. Yeah, fingers crossed.

I'm remembering all the other things. What? I turned 40 this month. Oh, hey. Happy birthday. Thank you. I think you're going to find out that you had the wrong birth certificate. Thank you.

It's actually our 42nd birthday. Oh, no. Yeah. It's actually our 42nd birthday. Oh, no. If you like the show, tell your friends. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. She's a sassy, brassy lassie. Sassy, brassy lassie.

Let's look under her chest, yeah. Underneath that one is a boob. And two nipples you can't touch with your tongue. Who do you think will sing the Ghostbusters 3 song? Yeah. Oh boy, it's going to be a woman. It's going to be Sia. You think it's going to be Sia?

Boo! Daddy nailed it! Who do you think it's going to be? I was going to say Beyonce, but you don't think they got Beyonce bucks? I was going to say Rihanna. Oh, Rihanna would be good. That'd be good because she's not in the spotlight. Yeah, Rihanna's like sort of a cross between Sia and Beyonce.

You just sort of took the best of our wishes. Yeah, you guys got me. Who's going to, oh, it's going to be fun. It's not going to be Sia. Don't you know that this Ghostbusters is super good? The problem is that I can't see you guys. It's like it's bugging. This chair is.

It's bugging me. It's bugging you. It's bugabee at bugaboo. Bugging me, bugging you. Uh-huh. Don't you know this microphone is here? Bugging me and bugging you. Uh-huh.

Something in time. We do something. Do you know what? You really know. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.