Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 400 - Countdowns!

Episode Date: November 16, 2015

We reflect on our last 400 episodes with countdowns of our favourite business ideas, accents, and TV obsessions. Also, Dave visits his alma mater and Graham is afraid of teenagers.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 400 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's drinking out of his coffee mug real silly like Mr. Dave Shumka. What's silly about this? I'm just warming my hands, both hands with it. And holding it right under my nose. Yeah, you look like a Tetley commercial. Is that what I, or like.

How come if you hold a mug under your nose, it doesn't, it's not as spooky as when you hold a flashlight. No, it is. I'm super scared right now. Welcome to episode number 400. What does that mean? It's our quadennial. Uh-huh. And it just means that we've

been doing this a long time i know we uh for like we should be this should be our career by now yeah that's true what do they say uh do something that you love and find a way to get paid for it until it kills you let it kill you isn that, that's a quote or something. Well, one of them is like a, yeah, one of them is a quote. I think probably from J.R.R. Tolkien. Yeah. Yeah. Find what you love.

Find that ring. Find your precious ring and let it kill you. But the other one is find the thing you love and find a way to get paid for it. And then there's another one. Isn't there like, uh, if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life because nobody wants to pay you to do it. Yeah. That's the subtext.

Well, because no one will pay you to masturbate. Why? Why is the only thing I love masturbating? I mean, like it was my first true love yeah biologically speaking i don't know like it's not good for the species no but it well is it though because it could really take the edge off that's true the species is like yeah inching towards war yeah maybe that was hitler's problem oh yeah maybe he was uh hitler uh why don't you why don't we give you this this uh naughty deck of playing

cards i assume that's what they had back then yeah uh yeah let me give you a copy of uh pentfrau. Play hell. What they, people always talk about. Always, by the way. Yeah. And also, wasn't this in like, who covered it a week or two ago?

The New Yorker or the New York Times or the mayor of New York? Would you go back in time and kill baby Hitler? Oh, yeah. You shouldn't. I feel like maybe turn of the century. When was he born? Late 1800s.

Turn of the century. Germany just should have had better sort of like sex ed. Yeah. Like the taught that, oh, it's okay to masturbate. Right. And not invade Poland. But here's the, this is the the that's what i would go back in time to i'd go back and start some sort of sex education yeah and i think

that's why german sex is so screwed up because there's some there's a level of repression yeah i feel and so they just go wild i assume if this is the whole thing about the killing baby hitler question is and i'm sure this must have been covered in like some sci-fi episode of star trek or something where they kill baby hitler but what if hitler was uh kind of inept at you you know, like he got as, as far as he did, but he wasn't really that good of a leader. So what if there was another,

yeah, we might've, well, there was the other op. Well, did you, have you read or seen the boys from Brazil? Uh,

no, it's by Ira Levin, the same guy who wrote, uh, the Stepford wives and Rosemary's baby. And it's all about, uh, uh, who is it? Mengele?

Okay, yeah. The genetics guy, and he bred a bunch of baby Hitlers. He got some Hitler DNA from the one-time Hitler mastermind. So backed up. And yeah, and then he placed them around the world in like all in the same sort of middle class upbringing. And then like Hitler's dad died when he was like 10. And so he arranged to have all these dads die. Oh, to see if it replicates.

Yeah. I think. Oh, wow. And yeah, portrayed by Laurence Olivier. Wow. Oh, to see if it replicates kind of thing? Oh, wow. And yeah, portrayed by Laurence Olivier. Wow. Oh, cool. He's great. Wait, no, that's wrong.

Oh, you mean Laurence of Arabia? Laurence Olivier, I think, was the guy hunting the Hitlers. Oh, so somebody finds out about the Hitlers and goes hunting for them? I forget. I haven't seen the movie in a long time. But Hitler played a Nazi in... Yeah, he did. What was that movie that Hitler played a Nazi in?

All news footage from that time? The Marathon Man. Olivier played a Nazi. Right. Is he Mengele? Is he the guy that does the dentist yeah oh he's like is it safe and dennis hossman's like i'm not so sure about this dennis hossman and that sounds like you had written a script and then dustin hoffman's lawyers were like don't use

his name in the script so you're like dennisossman. People will know who I'm talking about, though. Yeah. A real Jackie Jorp Jorp. Mm-hmm. Well, should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. So in this special

time of year, what we're going to do is, since it's our 400th episode, no guest. No guest. That wouldn't be fair to them. You since it's our 400th episode, no guest. No guest. It wouldn't be fair to them. You guessed it.

What do we do for our 100th episode? I know I only talk to you when you have a mouthful of coffee. I don't remember. It was your brothers, and we did a murder mystery. Oh, yeah, the murder mystery. That was a lot of fun. And then the 200th, we did, it that was that every segment or was that yeah maybe that was every segment and then 300 we did like a trivia quiz we get we came up with trivia questions about

the show about the show right and we quizzed each other and so 400 we thought we would do a countdown yeah lists countdowns of uh things uh related to the podcast that happen on the podcast. But do we, are we going to countdown to that? When do we want to start that? Because I'll start a countdown. Oh, okay. Start the countdown now.

But for how long? Ten minutes. Ten minutes of get to know us. Yeah, I think so. Well, we'll see. We'll play it by ear. Well, but the countdown stops for no one. Okay, 15 minutes then.

Okay, okay. Let's just open up my apps. Wait, do you think 15 minutes is that enough time? Let's say 20 minutes. 20 minutes.

Okay, 10 minutes. 10 minutes each. What are we going to be getting to know about us? Well, we can just talk about all the years. Oh, just not. Okay.

Or we could talk about what happened this past week. Boy, we really came in with no gameplay. Yeah. Well, I mean, like, you had stuff that went on this past week. Me, less so. Okay, I'm sorry. Do we want to start the Get to Know Us theme and the clock at the same time?

Yeah. 20 minutes starting now. Okay. Wait, this doesn't account for, because we don't play the jingles live. No, that's true. Okay. All right. Okay. What, this doesn't account for, because we don't play the jingles live. No, that's true. Okay. All right. Okay.

Dave, what's going on? What a crazy 400 weeks it's been. It has been a crazy 400. Think about where you were when this started. You and Abby. We're living two blocks away. Two blocks away, living in sin. Mm-hmm.

walks away living in sin um you uh uh abby was working as a receptionist out of a talent agency and you were working i was unemployed were you unemployed when we started this okay the whole thing comes full circle but did you you were working on you were previously working on a like a editing on TV. I don't want to do this 400 weeks thing. Let's talk about this past week. But now, you're married with a kid. Yeah. And your wife and kid and you went to a wedding.

Yes, we did on Halloween night, which is a spooky night. If you're a new listener, Halloween is a spooky night. If you're a new listener, Halloween is a spooky night. Yeah. Also, if you're a new listener, start with any of the last 10 episodes. They've all been home runs. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so Abby and I went to Victoria. Uh-huh.

Named after the longest serving queen up until just recently. Now it's Queen Elizabeth. Oh, okay. I thought it was named after SNL alum Victoria Jackson. Well, she was given the key to the city, and she accepted it with her feet. Didn't she just do handstands all the time? I remember she had too many fingers in that too-many-fingers sketch. Oh, yeah. Later, we're going to count down our too many finger sketch. Oh, yeah.

Later, we're going to count down our favorite Victoria Jackson sketches. Oh, boy. So, yeah. Abby's cousin got married and we were invited. It was Halloween night. Ooh, sookie. So, which one dressed as Jack Skellington and then the other one dressed as the corpse, right? Wait, conflating two movies.

Oh, no. I dressed as Jack A. Skellington. Uh-huh. From 227? From 22666. From 667. Yeah, Abby and I went to university in Victoria, the University of Victoria. Go Bears.

And go Vikes. Yep, go Vikes. Victoria, I believe, like maybe, here's what you need to know about Victoria. It's sort of like a little scuzzy, a little hippie, and a lot of old people. And it also has this like British pastiche. Yes, but, well, yeah, there's a lot of old timey stuff. Yeah. When I was there, there were like four in a block, four British candy shops.

I believe they're all closed now. Okay. Oh, really? Yeah, this is another thing. There's a downturn in the British candy shop. It's a 90 minute ferry away, and I never go. Since graduating from school, I've been there three times, but all for less than 24 hours. I've been there.

I go there, you know, several times a year. But that's the, yeah, I never spent years there. So it was a lot of, yeah. So they still, they do still have some like old timey stores. Like there were two stationary, like old timey. If you need to buy a stamp to emboss your wax seal on your envelope, there's two places downtown that can do that for you. Wax and tax.

And then the other one is called? Tax and wax. Which one do I like better? Well, the one that doesn't emphasize the tax. And, yeah, like, the, no, they still have, like, cobblers downtown. Oh, yeah, yeah. Many places to bring your old shoes. But you're right.

It's like there's this quaintness, and then on the very like next street over, it's just kind of like skid row. It's like maybe the warmest place in Canada. And so there's homeless people from all over the country. Yeah. They come to be, to not freeze to death. Yeah. And, like, it was a lot of driving around and being like, oh, that's changed.

Sure. Yeah, yeah. That used to be. Yeah, it was mostly stores. It was like, oh, they rented Hillside Mall. That used to be a sand. Yeah. Oh, Elephant and Castle is now in Earl's.

San. Yeah. Oh, Elephant and Castle is now in Earl's. I wonder if that place by Hillside Mall that was like the old Tudor house that sold furniture. I wonder if that still exists. It does. It does. Yeah.

All of the like, like the blockbuster I went to isn't there anymore. When you were living there, was the whale that was featured in the documentary Blackfish, was that still going on when you were there? Or was that? I have no idea. Did you ever go to that marine? Okay. So it was probably because that's the biggest thing that in my mind map of Victoria that's changed. Oh, well, we had our own aquarium here. So I had no, I never felt the reason to go.

Fair enough. Yeah. So we went there. We explored our bodies. Oh, good for you guys. No, we didn't. We had a baby in our hotel room meaning uh like at home she sleeps in a different room yeah here she's up in your grill she was like well i guess

it's lights out for everyone at eight you've been secretly admit that you love oh yeah except the first night uh the wi-fi in the hotel was so slow. Oh, no. And it was like, what? I mean, sometimes Wi-Fi in the hotel is slow. And then we got to the lobby and it was just two busloads of Japanese teenagers. Okay, well, they're using all the Wi-Fi. I just want to let you know 13 minutes and 37 seconds left

until we Oh no Well tell me other things Okay How long do you think our usual Get to Know Us segment is? I know that it's usually 40 minutes Let's say 20 minutes for me

and then 20 minutes for you. Sure. I'm really panicking over here. 13 minutes until Graham goes. But I reserve the right to not use the whole 20 minutes. I didn't do anything. Oh, sure you did. Oh, that's probably true.

Yeah, so it was a lot of Abby's family. A lot of them had never met baby Margo before. Yeah. That's, that's an extravaganza. So that was great. Got to hand her off to people. Um, we, we met up with a couple of Abby's aunts the day of the wedding and we went to this, uh, butterfly.

Convention zoo. Okay. Oh yeah. convention? Zoo? Okay. Oh, yeah. Is it like it's an indoor? Indoor enclosure of like, it's like a fake jungle. Yeah. What is that called?

Like an aviary or something like that? Yeah, aviary. I think you're thinking of Murphy Brown's bastard child. Did she have that with the guy who painted her house? I don't know who the father was. Whoa. That's a real Who Shot J.R. But no, it was.

Yeah. So we went in this place and I forgot that it was, of course, it's a fake jungle. Yeah. It's a fake jungle in there. To paraphrase the monk theme song. And it was, I walk in and it's a sauna and I'm like, all my glasses fog up. I have to take off all my clothes. Explore your body in front of the butterflies.

Yeah. Oh, look, a butterfly landed on my dick. Please, Crayon. Come on, that would be amazing well sure that's where nudists get it right it's because that's something we as a closed clothed population will never get to experience it's a butterfly on our genitals. Yeah, yeah. Well. Like a real butterfly kiss. What's a fake one? Eyelashes? Yeah, eyelashes. Yeah.

Sure. On your dick. Thick lash. Yeah, we went there and it was great. Yeah. You like butterflies? They're everywhere, man. Did Margo go crazy for butterflies?

No, not really. No. She's not there yet. Yeah. I still feel like she's 13 months. Every day there's a new thing. So a butterfly is maybe not even as crazy as a taxi cab. Taxi cabs are pretty crazy.

When you think about that, everybody decided like, well, they're going to be yellow. Yeah. Except in foggy London town. Yeah. There's some black ones here, black top, but they have yellow on them. How did they decide that yellow

was going to be the go-to color? In Victoria, they're blue. And yellow. Oh, yeah. But you're right. There aren't blue ones. There's green ones in Toronto. And there's some neighborhoods in this very city where fire hydrants are white.

Oh, I don't like that. Yeah. That must be sparkling water. And then they tell it apart. Oh, no, don't spray that on the building I was saving that. Yeah, yeah. So you went to a wedding and weddings are fun yeah we and it was um uh like great yeah like i was it was a rainstorm all day long except when the wedding started and And then it cleared up. It was outdoors. It was at this cider mill. Okay.

Where they make cider, and it was all you could drink cider. Yeah. And, like, they kept making announcements like, well, this thing will be happening in the tent. And if you want this, go over to the cider house. And every time they mentioned cider house, I was like, cider house, wrong. Oh, you switched it at the last second. What did? Cider House rocks. Oh, you switched it at the last second.

What did? Cider House rules. Oh, what? What's that? Oh, stop it. I bet you did say that a bunch of times during the day.

Cider House? Pretty cool. I'm going to go check it out. Cider House is awesome. And then, yeah, it was great. I mean, we left early because we have a baby.

Yeah, yeah. She's got work to do. Yeah. Well, and then it was daylight savings time, which she doesn't know. Like, she doesn't know you get an extra hour of sleep. Yeah, I practically didn't know. Man. And people have been warning me, too.

You know what? The phones and computers really have eliminated a lot of the... Huh? Yeah, like, because you just wake up and the time is the time. Mm-hmm. Like, there's no... Remember, like, you would wake up and you'd be like, oh, it's 10, but it's not. It's 9.

Yeah. And then you would get to just have that extra hour. Except on the other time of year when you're like,'s 11 back to sleep for only one more hour yeah let's all not tell mom it's daylight savings and then we'll miss church um yeah but now it's just all yeah except you're a microwave you gotta fix that micro i don't think my microwave ever has the right time it always has the time left from somebody yeah that's always the time and there's a few that are still like our thermostat is the wrong time like it's manual you have to set it set the time yourself and the the car clock what about the oven? Does your oven self?

Because it seems like that wouldn't be a hard thing to include. I wonder. I haven't checked. In a modern oven? Yeah. That'd be a good selling point. No more, if you have an automatic oven that starts making bread. That's not a thing.

And we went to... Yeah, whatever. We went to our alma mater. Uh-huh. The University of Victoria. Go Otters. Go Vikes. And what do you do when you go back there?

Do you get to... Well, we pranked everyone. Yeah. We filled the fountain with soapy suds. Oh, so good. We pointed out places that we had made out. Sure, that place, that place. No, we basically were like, wow, so many new buildings.

There's twice as many buildings. Was it that feeling? Because you probably haven't been, have you been back there since you graduated? We drove through it once in 2006, maybe. Yeah. Was it like nostalgic? Yeah, a little bit. A little bit of like, huh.

Yeah. Hey, look at that. Huh. Yeah. Huh. Hmm. Because it's weird i know but like i have very little like affection like it's a relatively young campus it's sure i think it started in the 60s

and so there were no like old buildings and it was all kind of uh modern looking to begin with right so it wasn't like it it it prevents you from being nostalgic well and it's uh i don't know like it was weird during when when the election was on a lot of people i know posted they're like i went to my old high school to vote and i was like oh yeah that's weird like if you see because that could happen could happen. If you even you grew up in the city, stayed in the generally same neighborhood. But like going back to my high school, I've done it once. And it was just because there was like an open house when my friend and I were driving by. And we're like, oh, let's go look at our old lockers.

And we went in and it was really weird. It was very unsettling. We thought of like, hey, can we go into the dorms and ask, hey, can I see my old room? But no, you can't do that. That's awful. Like, why would you? Can I have a nap in my old bed? Yeah.

Oh, it's one in the afternoon. You're still asleep? You 18-year-old kid? Well, I want to look at my old room. Yeah. Move over. Yep. Still comfy.

room yeah still comfy and yeah and then just kind of like why walked around downtown and yeah hey breakfast this sounds like a weekend yeah yeah oh my god our timer Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Our timer. We have four minutes and 36 seconds. I'd like to cede that time. Okay. I accept that. Oh, do you want to use all 430 for you? Yeah. You're going to get through you?

Well, we'll see. Okay. But I'm going to add it to my 20. Okay. Oh, you're going to add it to your 20? Yeah, but I'm not really going to go that long. I'm just going to... Well, let's see if I can... Well, you're down to four minutes and 13 seconds okay here we go okay oh wait addendum question did they get to know you okay oh yeah we can use this four minutes for

questions okay you there uh i was asking you upstairs you because you went you were in victoria for four four years yeah um and you never went to this hamburger restaurant i would have assumed you would have went to every restaurant in victoria in that four years uh but but no you had never heard of this and it was like a ham like hamburgers good question um but like did when you were at, did you mostly just eat like at the same three places kind of thing? Yeah. The first few years I lived on campus, I didn't have a car. So it was rare to get off campus at all.

Right. So you spent most of your time on campus. And ate most of my food on campus. Sure. Thinking back, like the slices of pizza you could get were the worst. Yeah, probably. They were probably just mccain's and like there was a late night cafeteria as well and that's where you would get pizza by the slice and it was just garbage just big garbage like now knowing what i know now about pizza yeah and how it should be made in an oven but But they, yeah, they exploit your ignorance.

And like, I remember in the first year of university, every day I drank two Dr. Pepper bottles. What? Not two liters. No, no, no. The like 600 milliliter or five and a half liter. And then kept the bottles in my room above my closet. And I was like, I considered myself the good roommate of the two roommates. And also the master of the ants.

I feed them. They're under my control. And then after that, we really just like, I lived close to campus and I went i mean i ate what did i eat you know whatever you make craft dinner yeah craft dinner and cereal yeah yeah yeah a lot of cereal and noodles and yeah ramen there was not a lot of going to restaurants a once every few months abby and i would go to this place called Nautical Nellies and have seafood. I wonder if Nautical Nellies is still there. All right.

And it's like the dumbest name, but it's still like market prices. It's like a $40 lobster or whatever at Nautical Nellies. All right. That's the only question I had. And where else did I eat? Yeah. Over the sink, probably. Yeah, that's probably.

In bed. Watching the eight DVDs in my collection. Yeah, yeah, let's watch Gladiator? Let's watch Run, Lola, Run again. I could do with a review of Run, Lola, Run. Let's watch Run Lola Run again. Oh, yeah. I could do with a reviewing of Run Lola Run. It's 90 minutes.

And it's breakneck pace. Never slows down. So much running. That just sounds like sped up polka. Now I'm stretching to use my whole time. No, no, don't. Alright, we have one more minute left 54 seconds left

Okay Do we want to just start with you? Yep Should I restart the clock at 20? Restart the clock at 20 This is the countdown episode everybody Everything's a countdown But oh boy these countdowns we're going to have later

Yum Oh boy Oof Oof Maroon Okay Okay Let me

Stop it Here we go And start it And go 19 minutes left I In 57 seconds Uh

This weekend This past weekend Even though this is coming out The week of November 11th Is that right? Um

Sure I don't I haven't flipped over my calendar yet Oh that's what I was looking at. Oh, it's in October. Who's on November? Daniel Sedin. Ah, Daniel Sedin. One of those Sedin twins. The 16th.

The 16th of November. So, you know, Halloween's a bygone memory. Oh, I... Go ahead. Well, you know what? There'll be time left over. Okay. What were you going to say No no you go Oh okay

And then we'll come back around Yeah yeah Okay I have this Spooky character That I forgot to Bring up before Halloween Oh no

But we'll count down to him So Usually on Halloween It's rainy and cold. Yes. So, there's not a lot of kids out. Mm-hmm. But this Halloween, right in the sweet spot where kids would want to be trick-or-treating.

That's when the skies cleared. The skies cleared. That's when the wedding was. And it was bonkers. Oh, okay. And it was a Saturday. Yeah. So I went out because I was supposed to go to a house party. What are you looking at on your phone? My character.

And so a friend of mine had a wig that I wanted to borrow so I had to walk over to his house. And there's nothing that makes you feel of mine had a wig that i wanted to borrow so i had to walk over to his house uh-huh and uh there's nothing that makes you feel quite uh like a creep like walking alone while everybody else is walking out around with their kids trick-or-treating right and you're just by yourself just trying to commute from point a to point b but because because he lived on like a very popular trick-or-treat street. He lived on the corner of 2nd and Trick-or-Treat. Okay.

That's the second most popular trick-or-treat street. But it was kids everywhere. So I haven't seen that the whole time I've lived in Vancouver. I've never seen like a... Like teenagers are whole time I've lived in Vancouver. I've never seen like a, like teenagers are always out. Yeah. And terrifying. Yeah.

And then that was another thing. Like I didn't end up going to the house party. I ended up hanging out with my friend instead. And we were, I was walking with her and it was later in the evening and then it was all just teenagers out. Yeah. And teenagers on their own, scary enough.

Yeah. Teenagers in full disguises. In groups, in packs. Yeah. A pack of teenagers. With explosives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like there's a lot of stuff we talk about on this show that we have to explain.

It's a Canadian thing. But I think it's just a Vancouver thing, and we mention it every year. Fireworks. Fireworks. On Halloween. No one else does it. And I know people in Detroit are going to be like, we do Devil's Night the night before. And like, come on, Detroit.

Yeah. Get off the crutch. We call it Mischief Night. But we were walking past this one house. Uh-huh. And this dude had his whole family out on the porch. Uh-huh. And he had just let off like, you know, a hundred fireworks.

Like, you see, he had all the spent canisters. Yeah. And I was just looking at them and he's like, I got one more. canisters yeah and i was just looking at them and he's like i got one more and uh so he stood there and watched as he launched a firework into you know those outdoor heaters that have like the little it's kind of like their metal stands and then they oh yeah yeah yeah metal umbrella at the top yeah that they launched it yeah he like launched it right into the umbrella part on purpose no and it made such a noise. And it was one that was like a big white flash,

but it was at eye level, so everybody's like, Gah! So it wasn't a Halloween miracle, but it was a lot of fun. So you were looking to get a wig? Yeah, originally I went to To get a wig? Yeah Originally I went to go get a wig To go to this house party To be?

A pretty lady Okay As like a beehive Hairdo wig Uh huh And uh And then Ended up just not going to the party

Cause Cause it feels better Yeah Well And it was The weather was really up and down that night Like it was It was a real It was cold and it was, the weather was really up and down that night. Like, it was a real, it was cold, then it was nice, then it was cold again. And, yeah, so that was my Halloween's Eve.

I know that you're chomping at the bit to do this character. I can't find the thing. The character is the, like, ghost who uses ghost puns. Okay. But, give me an example, won't you? Like a ghost who uses ghost puns. Okay. But. Give me an example, won't you? But he doesn't like lay them on thick like a ghost usually does. Oh, I see. So he's like casual ghost pun ghost.

Right. So he's not. He's like, and he says things like, yeah, well, I'm really excited about this new apartment because it's in a really good ghoul district but and it's a little expensive but bootilities are included I always tell this same

joke it never really gets a good reaction but like that it's very confusing for kids in Canada because you have leading up to Halloween

graveyards are supposed to be spooky fun. And then November 1st onwards, graveyards very solemn. Very solemn remembrance of war. Yeah. So it's a real, because I remember as a kid being like, when we had to sing Flanders Fields in school, I was like, just two weeks ago, like we were singing about the monster. Yeah. Just, yeah.

Are these the same graveyards? You had to sing Flanders Fields? Did they put it to music? Yeah, yeah. The rap version? Yeah, that's how we learned Flanders Fields, how we learned about Shakespeare. Sure. Well, you could say he was the first rapper.

Yeah, no, it is sort of like thinking of goofy, jangly skeletons and then bodies deformed by war and shrapnel. Yeah, because it's, it's the only two graveyard holidays and they're very close together. I think, I mean, in America they have Memorial Day, which is another big graveyard holiday. That's true. It's the, the holiday that tells you when you can start wearing white pants. All right. So in America, after Halloween, they launch full scale into Thanksgiving. Yes.

That's their next thing. Ours is like, it's fun, and then it's nothing but kind of sad times until we hit christmas yeah there's no there's no christmas is sad times too oh sure you know very strong oh boy yeah like there's there's no room at the inn we have to travel to our hometown to be registered yeah uh you have to your baby has to stay in a separate suite. Yeah. Oh, boy. I can complain all I want about the Wi-Fi at this hotel, but you think of the Wi-Fi in the manger. Oh, yeah. Even the wise men.

Do you guys have a password? We had to follow a star to get here. Yeah. On star? No, a star. Oh, this Christmas baby writes itselfmas we should write a pageant oh man we should uh writing a pageant is uh is one of my bucket list items and not necessarily just a christmas pageant oh sure beauty pageant what about a one-size-fits-all

holiday pageant okay and then you just rent it out, you know, to any holiday, any group that's celebrating anything. And this is a one-size-fits-all holiday. Well, it doesn't start with, is anybody celebrating anything? They could do a little bit of crowd work at the beginning. Yeah, there's a little bit of spritzing. You mean throughout the year or just Christmas time? No, just throughout the year. So, we could do a Halloween pageant.

Yeah. We could do a Valentine's Day. Well, just wait. Let me just go through the the the major religious no no just the year and holidays no new year's day to celebrate no candy-coated valentine reese i just didn't i just called to say i love you doesn't he mention every holiday he never mentions halloween in that no spooky ghost no he does no Halloween

oh he does yeah oh wow oh man so he really goes the whole yeah I forget what comes before

it's like no Labor Day no Halloween no Goblin Turkey too how come that that song's never listed on a list of spooky songs? He does say. Well, because it's no Halloween.

Oh, to some people that's very spooky. Oh, sure. Wiccans. Yeah, people love it. Charles Dickens. The plot thick. Yeah. Yeah.

So I Just Called to Say I Love You mentions every holiday. If your holiday is Yeah. So I just called to say I love you. Mentioned every holiday. If your holiday is not mentioned in, I just called to say I love you. It's not a real holiday. It's not a real holiday. Yeah. Um,

also, uh, uh, uh, listener to the show, a bumper made a great pumpkin carving. Oh, of our logo.

Yeah, that was outstanding. It was, uh, if you haven't seen it, uh, go to the Facebook group, check it out. Yeah. Well, you know what? I'll put it, go to the Facebook group. Check it out.

Yeah. Well, you know what? I'll put it in the episode recap at stoppodcastingresult.com. Real nice. Real nice work. What do you want to do with this other 10 minutes and 13 seconds? I want, hmm. I'm all right to move forward.

Okay. Are we going to countdown to when we're going to countdown? The countdown of our countdowns is coming up. And then we're going to go to break in five seconds but then we'll be back with a countdown. Wait a minute, not five seconds.

Five seconds starting now. No. Five, three, two, one. Wait a minute, wait. Okay, now. Now, Halloween. Wait a minute, wait. Okay, now. No Halloween. I listen to Bullseye because it gives me all the information on things that I know I want to know about, but it also gives me inside information on things that I didn't even know I wanted to know about, such as music, arts, movies, people I should be connected with, people that

I end up connecting with thanks to Bullseye. Bullseye is your guide to what's good from MaximumFun.org and NPR. Hi, everybody. I'm Justin McElroy. And I'm Dr. Sydney McElroy. Every Tuesday, we bring you Sawbones, a marital

tour of misguided medicine. A show about all the dumb, weird, terrible ways that we've tried to fix each other over the years. You know, some light summer listening. Maybe you want to hear about yogurt enemas, or why we tried to eat mummies for a while, or why drinking cholera

diarrhea sounded like a good idea. That and so much more is waiting for you every Tuesday right here on the Maximum Fun Network with Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine. Now, Dave and I decided to do for the 400th episode

several lists of countdowns Countdown lists! to, you know, not dissimilar from what you see every, in the run-up to the new year. Oh, yeah. It would be a countdown of the year's best sports plays. Best sports plays, news stories we'd like to forget. Yeah.

The best news bloopers. Yeah. Oh, that is my favorite. Yeah, it's not even a countdown. It's just the best. It's the best thing to watch at the end of theopers. Yeah. Oh, that is my favorite. Yeah. It's not even a countdown. It's just the best. It's the best thing to watch at the end of the year. Yeah. Somebody puts together the blooper reel.

Oh, man. Yeah. It's the guy who's been doing the monthly blooper reel all year. Yeah. December, he takes off. Have you seen the one where there's the reporter and the bug flies in his mouth and he starts swearing a lot? Yeah. Oh, man.

seen the one where there's the reporter and the bug flies in his mouth and he starts swearing a lot yeah oh man you saw the one where um that was the guy reporting and it was the storm was going on you know outside and he was getting he was outside in it and he got wet i know right these are these are some of the classic moments um now dave yeah do you want to go first? Yeah, I have more than you do, but like these are my categories of things. I went for quality over quantity. Yeah, I went for, this was Graham's idea. I don't know if I'm doing this right. No, I didn't know if I was doing it right. These are the top 10 reality shows.

Oh, nice. Or no, sorry, TV shows. Yeah. That we were obsessed with for one week. Okay. All right. Top 10 reality, or just reality shows? I think they're mostly reality shows.

Okay. That we were obsessed with for one week. Oh, this is fun. This is a fun list. Yeah, I'd say that they're all reality shows. Okay. Oh, well, one of them is a game show and it's number 10 pornography that's the one with the guys from pawn stars yeah and

uh hosted by christopher titus yeah that's his name yeah and you kept uh talking about his boot cut jeans and the greatest for people who have never seen the show, the way it would work is they had people would, there was trivia, there was a trivia component. Yeah. And then that dumb bald guy from Pawn Stars, who's supposed to be a smart guy. He's the smartest guy on Pawn Stars. I don't know, what about that old guy in the office? No, you think he's pretty brain dead at this point? He's just mean.

This is how he is. Way rear in the head. Way rear in the head. To move the story along, Grandpa. Okay, so pornography, number 10. Right. Number nine, that Sarah parker art reality show oh wow and there was an artist on there named suck lord was it called the next great american artist something like that art star maybe art star art star art star wow okay yeah There's a guy on there named Sucklord

Sucklord S-U-C-K-Lord? It was a fake name It was an art name That's pretty good I forgot about that Number 8, Buried Treasure B-A-R-R-Y

This was Barry From Storage Wars B-A-R-R-Y Apostrophe D This was Barry From Storage Wars Yeah And he would just Drive around And check out People's stuff

But wasn't Wait a minute That show doesn't Make any sense Cause Didn't he always Have to go to somebody Yeah

To be an expert On stuff So he would just Go around and be like He would find an expert And bring them with him Oh I see In a classic car And his His cool gloves that had skull hands on them.

Yeah, yeah. Skull hands. Yeah, no, you got it. Number seven, the game plane. That was a game show on an airplane. Oh, yeah. Game plane. So this was, we couldn't figure out whether or not it was people who were actually on a flight somewhere.

I think that's what it was. Because it was like LA to Hawaii. Right. And you had to sign a waiver. Yeah. Oh, and didn't we talk about like, what if there was somebody on the plane that was headed to a funeral? And like had to participate in this horrible horrible game show on a plane. So, just for the listener,

the needs of a hundredth episode, these chunks, we just generally reflect. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, you know, it's something because it's like Ferris Bueller said, if you don't take some time to reflect on your episodes, you'll forget. Yeah. You'll forget it all. Number six

was 90 Day Fiance. This is something you were obsessed with. Ah, still. And still are obsessed with because there's a new season. Yeah, yeah. This is people who have 90 days to get married because they're a foreigner. I watched it this Sunday in this very house because Alicia Tobin was grandpa sitting. And this time around, there was a guy that Alicia and I both liked a lot,

and we liked his odds with the girl, but then we found out that his mother lived in the same state as his fiancée, and now we think there's some shenanigans going on. Oh, okay. Because he's way better looking than her. Like, way better looking. So? so well that's what we were like we're like love finds a way and then it turns out his mother when he was a kid moved to this state to provide for her family back in jamaica i don't want to know. Anyways, we think that he's just in it to get a green card so he can live close to his mother. How many of, what are the odds of people staying together?

Or like, does it not work out more often than not? Or does it? From the last season. And also, is it a difference like if it's a guy bringing over a woman? The guy, it always seems a little creepier when it's the guy bringing over a woman the guy's oh it always seems a little creepier when it's the guy bringing over the woman yeah uh when it's the woman bringing over the guy it's less creepy on the woman's behalf but you still feel like the guy somehow has some other motive i saw one preview for this season and it was a the woman was in the passenger seat

of the guy's car and she touched the window and the guy said hey don't touch my window yeah yeah she put her hands all over yeah they have an age difference that couple of like uh 40 years oh cool yeah awesome right a real may december from next year no Yeah. No New Year's Day. No gobbled turkey. No Santa Claus. Santa Patrick's Day night where you throw up drunk. Green.

Number five. Yeah. Undercover Boss. Oh, yeah. Just come on. Yeah. Hey, who's this new guy they hired who's wearing a wig

and it's being followed by a camera crew? There was a one that I watched. It was in a hotel and it was like amusement parks. It was like this company called like Christian Family Entertainment. Okay. They owned like, but they didn't own like amusement parks that like any, like anybody we know would want to go to. Okay. But they own like a paddle wheel boat and that plays like country music on it or something.

Or like, you know, America town. This is some place. Some wholesome. Yeah. It's like the most wholesome, wholesome. With, with like, they couldn't get any good licensing. So it's all popeye popeye's village um anyways yeah really uh kind of choked me up that episode number four

airplane repo no i don't remember it was about a uh these people who repossess airplanes from people who bought people who thought they were rich enough to buy airplanes and then never paid for them and so they would have to sneak through the airport and then like while the plane while the plane was being refueled and the the owner uh like went to you know drain the snake um this is pilot speak they would sneak onto the plane and take off it seemed pretty fake

you never drain your snakes on a plane I've had it up to number three Billy the exterminator we haven't been obsessed with that for a long time but that was a guy who had like a rockabilly hairdo was that his thing? I wouldn't call it guy who had like a rockabilly hairdo was that his thing i wouldn't call it that it was like 10 different types of hairdo it was a rat tail and a

mullet and spiky and uh like military somehow but what and he wore like all black and and had the highest tech stuff to catch a possum. Number two, Alan Thicke's Unusually Thick. Oh, yeah. Unreasonably Thick. Starring past guest John Doerr. And I think he's coming back for the next season. So there's another season. There's another season, but they've moved it to the House and Garden Network

because it's all about renovating his house. Oh. Yeah, you can really now just have a real tenuous link to anything and be on a channel. And the number one show that we were briefly obsessed with is, do you want to guess? Oh, the one where they conveyor belt launch things off the side of a building. No! They didn't make a list! I can't believe they didn't make the list!

What was that called? The Drop Fall? Fall Droppers? And who was it hosted by? Stokehold Steve Austin? No, Chris. Chris Jericho. Benoit. Benoit. No, Jericho. The one who's not dead. Yeah, Chris Jericho. And, uh No Jericho The one who's not dead Yeah Chris Jericho And uh Yeah like

There would be Luxury Yeah And then if you lost You got Knocked off the roof Yeah that's right Like King Kong would come up

And get you He's got nothing on me No the number one Show we were obsessed with, but that should have made the list. Yeah. I researched this very quickly. Yeah, no, absolutely. But it's fun to add to the list. Oh, please.

Was Gigolos. The Showtime series. Yeah. Featuring Brace. Brace. And Nick Hawk, the rapper. Now, what? Okay, you never used the stunt cock, if I recall correctly.

That was his line. That was his rap line. Wasn't Brace with you, like, forwarded me? Yeah, Brace also does, now he markets his own brand of pharmaceuticals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they make you more intelligent or something? I don't know. He does not sound intelligent.

No. He's the dumb one. Yeah. From Jiggle Loans. Yeah. Get Brace Brain. Yeah. Good list.

Yeah. Were there any other shows that you would have suggested other than Dropfall? Dropfall for sure. That was the one like at the end right did they get launched off the side of the building on a bungee cord yeah um well i remember like i mean we've long been fascinated by uh your anything guy fieri really related right um and bumper stumpers. That's true. Uh, supermarket sweep has come up a lot over the years. Um, and, uh, what's the, uh, I'm trying to think of, wasn't there some reality show that was kind of like Project Runway, but not quite as. Yeah, there've been a lot of like.

Like there was like ones that were quasi. Oh yeah. And yeah, Project Runway, you have to be good at the thing to even get on the show. Right. America's Next Top Model will just take pretty girls who they can... They might be able to model. But Project Runway, you have to be able to already make clothes. Right. And Top Chef, you have to already chef. But there was like, oh, the one I watched the first season, they just did the second season, I didn't watch it,

was the House of DVF to find out who can be the next brand ambassador for Diane von Furstenberg. But who wants a brand ambassador? And why is it a yearly job that you get replaced at with some other nobody? The other show that I remember us talking about, but it was only on for one season where it was a bunch of people who were all in heavy metal bands had to live in a house together and they had to form a super group and it was ted nugent and sebastian bach and the guy from anvil maybe no not anvil anthrax and uh they they uh their band was called damocracy oh damnocracy yeah and then they say i can't remember what the song was called but that was a great yeah

that was a good one too there's been a lot of really great shows yeah this is fun to reflect on yeah absolutely um graham do you have a countdown i do i have uh i will say this is uh top five or is it top six? It might be top six. One, two, three, four, five, six. Top six inventions that we invented here on the podcast that we didn't actually make or bring to market. Okay. But things that we were talking about on the podcast. Did they eventually get invented?

Some of them did. Okay. We're a couple of? Some of them did. Okay. We're a couple of romp appeals over here. Yeah. Starting at number six with our bathroom-themed restaurant. Yeah. Which was served in a toilet. Yeah.

And you get some food that resembles bathroom things. Or you, yeah, and then you pressed the hand dryer and fresh noodles came out of it or something. And instead of napkins, they'd just give you a roll of toilet paper. Yeah. So apparently in Japan. I'm sure it was already an existing thing. Oh, sure. And I think.

Or maybe even like Taiwan. Yeah. Which is like cool Japan. Cool Japan. Toilet Japan. Toilet Japan. The Germany cool Japan. Cool Japan. Toilet Japan. Toilet Japan. In the Germany of Japan. On the Japanese tip at number five, boil it in your toilet or boil it toilet, which was a packaged soup or stew that came in like a sealed plastic bag that you would warm in a Japanese futuristic toilet that had a hot setting.

That has not been invented. No. Because there is no Japanese toilets don't get that hot. No, I know, but it was an episode where we were talking about the future of toilets. And he was like, oh, I think they have different temperature settings. And then we talked about it.

I guess for some kind of spray bidet spray bidet function yeah like it doesn't matter with the temperature of the water that's not touching your skin yeah and you know or your food you you go to work you just throw a boil it toilet in there come home it's your your stew's ready yeah oh boy like the way we if that stuff has had existed or we're talking as though it exists now but can you imagine like how lucy would have screwed that up on i love lucy like she puts the toilet toilet there doesn't tell ricky ricky comes running through the door with a belly full of Cuban food. So that's number five.

Yep. Number four, Twizzler pants. I think these were some sort of pants made out of Twizzler material. Okay. I don't know. I don't remember what episode this is on. Why do you remember it?

Because somebody posted about it on the Facebook forum. Oh. And I was like, yeah, that's something we definitely talked about.

Twizzler pants. Yeah, like, because I think we were talking about maybe edible underwear and what's that, what is that?

Right. And then we were like, what about a pair of, yeah, they'd be like corduroys. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm wearing a nice pair of Twizzler be like corduroys yeah yeah oh i'm wearing

a nice pair of twizzler pants right now the fabric version yeah oh so good in the winter and then like just trying to think of other functions of twizzlers you could suck a drink through them yeah you could through your pants through your pant leg uh leg? You could rip off a part of them and make some sort of pole on a gingerbread house. That's true. That's about it. Hey, you can do a fun thing with chopsticks. Yeah. Nibs.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. If you put them in the wrong setting in the washing machine, you're going to end up with nibs. That's true. Don't iron them too hot uh so twizzler pants uh that was four that's four number three uh was a show you came up in episode number uh 176 that's america's got talent meets canada's got talent it's called border guards got talent that's pretty good yeah So it's like just all the border guards from our shared border compete. Because they've got to have some weird talents.

Yeah. And it's judged by a famous border guard. Or a border collie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lassie. Sure.

Let's see a border collie. No, it's just a regular collie. Lassie's a brother. Wait, that wouldn't work never mind uh number two uh pizza shirt yeah with dipping pocket yep and that is a it's not an existing thing but there there have definitely been people send them to us all the time yeah pictures of shirts that look like pizza like with a a print of a pizza. Yeah, or sometimes a pizza that's shaped like a shirt. And our idea was a three-dimensional pizza crust baked into a shirt shape with toppings

and nipples, pepperoni nipples, and a pocket here full of dip. Pocket where your shirt pocket is. And coming in at number one, something that people send us photos of all the time. Bread slippers. Bread slippers, which, you know, we came up with in earnest.

We may not have been the first, but. That would have been in about 2011. Charlie Demers was our guest. And we talked about having fresh baked. And you and I were so on the same page About having a pair of slippers Baked for you every morning And just slipping your

On a cold day slipping your feet Into that warm Moist bread Yeah yeah we were saying like French loaves And Charlie Because you and I like instantly Like clicked on it he thought he was crazy. Because what is that?

And there you go. That's my top six inventions of the podcast. Yeah, I think there were more. And we had business ideas too. I can't really remember. Yeah, like I tried to think of other ones. 400 episodes is a lot to go through. And we had business ideas, too. I can't really remember. Yeah, like I tried to think of other ones, but. 400 episodes is a lot to go through.

Oh, boy, boy, howdy. Since we came up with this idea two days ago, I've only listened to 300 of our episodes. Yeah, I only managed to make it to 250, and then I passed out. Okay, I have one, and I'm sure you will be able to add to this. But these are, uh, uh, things we said with accents, the top four things we said with accents or voices that made each other

uncomfortable. Okay. Uh, uh, number four, um, from, uh,

Iron Man two, you're, you kept doing your impression of Russian Mickey Rooney. Bring me my board. Bring me my board. This isn't my board. Bring me my bird is

the non-accented version. At number three, I tried to do an impression of the Eric Bana movie Chopper. Where he gets stabbed and he's Australian. Right. And he only reacts by saying, like, why did you stab me?

Yeah, why are you doing this? But I can't do an Australian accent. So I was, oh, I just stabbed a chopper. Oh, you don't never stab a chopper. Still to this day. Makes me uncomfortable. The number two things we said with voices that made each other uncomfortable was when I was talking about coffee. Yeah.

And I kept referring to it in all these different. I was having some java juice. A little bit of a cup of joe. Right. But you were saying it in this breathy. This sweet caffeinated mama. Yep, I could see that. And the number one, can you guess?

Is it our baby voice? Oh, no. I could see that. And the number one. Yeah. Can you guess? Uh, is it our baby voice? Oh no. That, that makes everyone. Yeah. That makes everybody. That's on board. Uh, bring me my board. Uh, number one is, uh, when you were, you would, it was just this one word that you

would change your accent for in the middle of a sentence. It was the movie and the character Machete. Oh, Machete. So I was watching Machete. Machete. That's pretty good. I think we always, like every time I pronounce Guy Fieri's name. Fieri?

You say Fieri. I do? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I should have come up with a top mispronunciation. Oh, yeah. Well, see, there were a lot of like, I was like, top, one of the ones I was trying to put together was top list of things where you started singing a song that I don't know what the song is. Um,

because if we did, I can just come up with a two top mispronunciations right now. Yeah. Um, gave the top three. Guy for the, uh, Regis Philbin.

Philbin. Yeah. And, uh, Bobcat, Bobcat Gold. Wait, you put too many phonemes, yeah. And Bobcat. Bobcat Goldwake. You put too many phonemes in it.

Yeah, yeah. That's a good one. The, I was going to say, you know how like one week you were singing that Pet Shop Boys song, West End Girls? Ever since then, it literally, I've heard it a thousand times right so i had never heard that song before or never knew i was here yeah and now but there's also like every pet shop boys song is that song so like even if you heard it other than go west which is yeah go west is the like the one that i what have i done to deserve this is is the same as west west end girls okay west edmonton ball girls and what's

the other one that's very similar to that it's um uh i've got the brains you've got the looks what what is the rest of that let's make lots of money um that was a good list Yeah Good list Okay now this This is some self-reflective stuff You know it's healthy It is healthy Every 400 weeks Yeah

To check in with each other Check in on yourself Exactly It's for your own health And make other people listen to it This is tough Also Please like

Tweet us And go to our Facebook group And go to the Maximum Fun Reddit, subreddit, and tell us the stuff that should have made these lists and other lists. Other lists. Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot of fun. This is a top one, two, three, four, five.

Top five iTunes reviews from countries that I did not know we had listeners so you went to to every itunes in the world i went to a lot of them okay well i knew that we had listeners in one of these countries but uh the rest i was surprised because a lot of the countries you go to ghana uh no no stars right no reviews who was who's number one at iTunes Ghana? Adele. It's all Adele. It's probably Adele. Yeah. And so this, the first one comes from France.

Oh, like the Coneheads. Yeah. We are aliens. No, from France. Yeah, we drink light bulbs. Remember the big gag in the trailer for coneheads the movie yeah where jane curtain's vacuuming oh into her mouth into her mouth i don't know that was the whole movie like i just watched it last year and uh it's all like you know that's all it is that's the whole whole film. Like, isn't this weird?

What about this? How about that? They're aliens still. I guess it's pretty funny. Like, it was something that I'm too young, and our parents' generation loved the first cast of Saturday Night Live. Yeah. And NBC loves to rerun the early uh sketches but

they're all 14 minutes long yeah yeah there was also a uh this halloween i re-watched uh ghost which i really i haven't seen in years and years and uh realized like it really is not, I don't know if it ever was intended to be or if it just became a kid's movie, but it's really not a kid's movie. No. The first one. The second one more so. Oh, and the second one they had them throwing parties for a bunch of children when all the while the slime was under the building. So they packed up a group, got a group, came a group, got their proton packs on their back and they split. Found out about Vigo, the master of evil. Try to battle my boys. That's not up a group, got a grip, came a grip, got the proton packs on their back and they split. Found out about Vigo,

the master of evil. Try to battle my boys. That's not legal. Oh, we, oh. But the first one that has a lot of,

it's like, there's extended scenes where it's just Peter Venkman hitting on Sigourney Weaver. Sigourney Weaver, yeah.

And sometimes she's a crazy space witch. Yeah, and then there's a whole scene where Dan Aykroyd gets a blowjob from a ghost that I totally didn't remember. And they're smoking, like all the characters smoke and drink in it, which you would never see in a movie. No, but that was like.

But that was also the 80s. Yeah. I mean, we talked a few weeks ago about Uncle Buck. That's true. He does a lot of that. 80s. Yeah. Well, I mean, we talked a few weeks ago about Uncle Buck. That's true. He does a lot of that. But the other thing that we noticed while we're watching it, the clothes in it are fantastic. I don't know. It must have been made in 1983. Here's one thing. Good looking clothes. When I went

to Victoria, there was this used clothing store called The Patch. Oh, yeah. And it would be like, i was there in in the the turn of the millennium you would go there you'd get your your snap up denim western shirt sure or polyester um you would get uh your track jackets yeah uh this is or old uh you know like from some bar Like a t-shirt Yeah

That had, what is that called? A ringer Around the arms and around the neck Yeah, a ringer style t-shirt Yeah, yeah, yeah If you go, I haven't been to secondhand shopping in a while But it's a lot of like American Eagle stuff from five years ago A lot of H&M

Oh yeah lot of like american eagle stuff from five years ago a lot of h&m oh yeah i this i hadn't considered how the fast fashion craze would impact uh oh vintage shops yeah there's still some vintage stores you can go to but they're generally in smaller cities that have stuff that would go like to the 80s and 70s but most of it it is just like you say, like from four years ago. Yeah. And you're like, is this, can I just wear this?

I guess you just gotta just dig. You're telling me. So first one from France. Oh, right. That's how we got started on this. How many of these are there? Five,

four, five, three, two. It's, the title says feel good factor. Oh. And then it's got five stars.

These guys never fail to make me laugh slash smile. Oh. Thanks, France. Oh, yeah. Just pour rire. Et sourire.

Australia. G'day. Well, of course, that's not surprising. They speak it. And they, we get regular submissions for overheards

from people, you know, in Australia. uh-huh uh you know jezza and kezza they're the title this one so they call them themselves like they call themselves kesha um australia the title says that you sugar bumps don't know what that means uh-huh uh four star three six year six years in so this was from a couple years ago and as funny as ever this is one podcast that needs no enema so well sometimes people reference a joke we made yeah well that's from batman this town needs an enema yeah this podcast needs no enema yeah uh uh coming in at number three three sweden okay from somebody called holy sideburns uh i had to translate it because it was in sweden oh cool i have listened to the humor podcast for almost five years and stop podcasting yourself is undoubtedly one of my favorites

uh flag digged they couldn't come up with whatever that yeah it is spare the hostess and fun segments like digged yourself yeah thanks um thanks a beautiful sideburns and uh then we got one from germany okay oh this is from uh shuttle dude they made fun of my weird sex fetish uh it's rare to have a funny pair of hosts who don't take pot shots at each other or have an overall negative slant to their shows oh yeah um these are just you reading nice reviews Yeah but from around the world Okay That's fun

And number one The nicest review From the nicest country Ghana Ireland The headline being Canadian Thunder When I like the guest on the show

It's five stars When I don't It's four and a half Oh We lose a half a star. Jeez. Well, there's more to the review. They just say it was a lot of fun, but there you go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there you go. Top five listener reviews on iTunes from around the world. Now, why don't you go and leave a review? Yeah. At iTunes. Now go. Dave.

Dave, list me. Okay. I've got a Now go. Dave. Dave, list me. Okay. I've got a couple more. Okay. Yeah, I think just two more. All right. I might have. It's not a two more.

Do you know anything about modern day video games? Sure. Because somebody pointed out a thing on uh some website that the school in the video game silent hill is designed off of the school in uh kindergarten cop oh and then you see all these side-by-side photos and you're like weird why would they do that i did not know where this conversation was going anyways okay so this is just a top three list but maybe you can add more to it okay um and but i have i've got one more list after it that is exceptionally long so this is a top three list of uh uh times on the show where people got sick either on the show, around the show, as a result of the show, after the show.

Yeah. Okay. This is good. There's one, we probably refer to it on the show, but when Glenn Wall was here, it was the day after his birthday, he was so hungover and I edited out so many just like the juiciest burps yeah and he that was the first words out of his mouth when he came on the show was uh afraid i'm gonna vomit into a microphone yeah yeah uh yeah good that's good uh number two i'm not even gonna say this person's name, but it's not who you're thinking of.

Uh, we made a milk, I don't know if, cause I don't remember if we talked about it on the show. Oh, I think we have. Well, maybe not. We made a milkshake before the show. Right. Contained so much gluten. Oh yes.

This person didn't ask. Yeah. And then immediately had to, uh, uh, take a break. Yeah, that's, that's right. Yeah. And then immediately had to take a break. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I remember that. And then the final one, the number one. Yeah. Was after a show when I think on the show we had been talking about, can you deep fry any candy?

Yes, right. And then Adam Pateman and Abby and myself and you went to Mac's, got a bunch of candy. Yeah. Dipped it in pancake batter. Yeah. And I had like a Twix or whatever. Yeah. And Adam took a Reese's peanut butter cup.

That's right. Deep fried it. And you're allergic to peanut butter. Yeah. And you went after him. And then I had a Mars bar. No, or maybe not a Mars bar. I forget.

But. But anyways. But you experienced some peanut runoff. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I got some ones to add to that list. Okay.

Sure. Are they all you? No. Oh, yeah, I got some ones to add to that list. Okay. Are they all you? No, there was an episode where it was shortly after I had gotten the swine flu. And the whole episode I sounded like this. Like I could barely talk because my root, like from coughing. Right. Was that before you had been quarantined? That was after.

Okay. Yeah, it was in the recovery stage. And we did a podcast where I was like, this whole podcast. There was another, what was the, trying to think, there was another one where. Has anyone injured themselves? Have we ever gotten like a broken tooth from a microphone? I don't think so. No, nobody, I don't think we've had any injuries

from the podcast. We've never had to call. I remember there was an episode where maybe the first time John Doerr was on the episode he farted into the microphone and we all had to leave the room. For a long time. So that kind of counts

because it was like somebody's not feeling well. and we don't use that microphone anymore um i can't yeah i think those were the two that i was thinking of where there was like where there was an illness in the room yeah it was bad feng shui yeah yeah so do your evil spirits yeah uh yeah i have i think i have two more two more lists uh can i just add it's not a tumor has anyone said that yet do you know about silent hill i don't know about modern video games true pac-man is based off of uh the red uh running man? No, it's not. These are the top... I don't know how many there are.

The top something. But part of the countdown is the counting. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. five six seven the top seven overheards that people just

posted somewhere that you're we can't use them yeah if you want your overheard on the show email it to us I mean you can post

like if you you want to tweet it to us that's fine we're it's just but these are these are collected

from tweets and from the Facebook group yeah and when when it comes to putting together a show, we only check our email. Yeah. But this is it.

This is your one reprieve. This is your turkey. Oh! This is your turkey execution pardon. Pardon? Yeah. Don't they pardon one? I know.

I'm just questioning what you're talking about. This first one, number seven, comes from Ryan Williams. Ryan W. Oh, yeah. He's a comedian. He may be on the show someday, you know? Okay. Overheard on the nine bus in Vancouver, I'm going to record a vlog on Facebook about the stigma of friendly people in Vancouver.

I'm going to tear apart how everyone thinks we're unfriendly so that's number seven yeah okay cool um we are i mean i am what unfriendly no i'm i'm nice yeah but i'm not friendly you're not out there shaking hands and kissing babies no kissing babies and shaking hands and then you you just swap you what you want to do is shaking babies and kissing babies. No. Kissing babies and shaking hands. And then you just swap, what you want to do is shaking babies and kissing it. You should never shake a baby, Dave. You of all people should know that. Number six, Camille C.

Super Blood Moon overheard. It's doing it. That was good. Yep. Did you catch that Super Blood Moon? Yeah, yeah. I was out. out it was like you had to either you had to be like sitting down i feel like because it took a long time to do its thing because we were standing there looking at it and then it was kind of like oh it's this is like a thing that's going to take an hour and a half right but part of it's gonna be so good yeah it was so red yeah ish um

the next uh number five from sam c walking down the hallway in school today heard two kids arguing hey dude that's my pencil kid too sorry finders keepers je keepers, jeepers, creepers. Oh, man. I haven't had a finders, keepers pulled on me in years. But it's the law. Once finder, keepers has been called, if you don't say jeepers, creepers. Right. Sure.

And Lord help you, should there be a punch buggy. Oh, man. I haven't done that in years either. It because the new volkswagens aren't as much fun yeah maybe a fiat 500 i should i should punch someone over there's a new i think it's this year's mini uh-huh uh it's just now it's just a car like it's shaped like a mini but it's huge yeah well they do have a big version they have their like crossover yeah but it's like camp man or yeah that's the one jamper man and it's uh it's huge uh clubman this uh number four number four sure so tired don't worry we're almost there this is number four yeah from steve b

overheard from a friend and her daughter after her first day of school. How was school? It was awesome. We got to bake cookies and go outside. I love it. That's amazing. I am so glad you get to go back tomorrow. Nah, that's okay, Mommy. One day was enough.

I'm over it. Totally. Yeah. You don't bake cookies every day. I can guarantee you that. Yeah, that is a first day activity. Like, hey everybody it's the school smells so nice today because of all the baking yeah tomorrow math yeah it's gonna smell like math uh number three lucy c overheard in san francisco dad maybe we should order a youtube. Daughter, dad! Mom, it's not a YouTube, Matt.

It's an Uber. Really dadding it up in San Francisco. Oh, yeah. Order a YouTube. Oh, that would be great. Yeah. I can't wait.

Oh, man. I can't wait until I'm doing that like... Every day? But like obliviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I mean, I sort of am. But it's gonna be great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I mean, I sort of am. But it's going to be great.

Yeah, I mean, I do it with, you know, reality stars. Sure. Kardashians. Kardashians. No, I know them all. Your Klingons. Number two, Phil A. My friend has a two and a half year old son.

He's fascinated by diggers, dump trucks, steam rollers, etc. Basically, he's a huge fan of civil engineering equipment. He was telling his mom that he was pretending to be a digger and earnestly described how different parts of his body were being different parts of the digger, including the bucket is my bottom and the controls are on my penis. Yay. And finally. I feel like my controls are on my penis.

And finally, number one. Overheards that were sent in not through the proper channels. You're getting your one-time reprieve. Ethan D with overheard as I was leaving work just now 6th grade boy I can break a toilet with my head you guys

I guarantee it oh pretty good I think a lot of I think a lot more people have died trying to break a toilet yeah or broken their head trying to break a toilet well one guy discovered the flux capacitor well he was hanging a clock and hit his head on a toilet um but that was one guy one time back i feel like there was was there a reality show where it's like amateurs are

supposed to renovate a house it's like a can Canadian reality show. Anyways, I feel like the first thing a guy did was go in and break the toilet and then somebody was like, we need to use that toilet. Like, this is the toilet we were going to use. We were all going to use it. It was for our big day. Dave hit me with another list. This is my final list. The number one

list. This is the top 17 things that we repeat a lot in every episode so many episodes without knowing we're doing it oh yeah just comes up this is juicy i know one of them has to be elf is elf on the list number 17 is elf i hadn't numbered them but fair enough sure um yeah alphas one yep comes up all the time naturally though yeah we love it yeah i love i kill me it naturally uh finds its way into most of my conversations uh number two uh number 16 uh the story of Gunther from Friends. Did you know that he was an extra?

Yeah, he was an extra, and he was the only extra who knew how to make coffee. It's because everybody else's story from Friends is just them auditioning and getting the role, but Gunther's has Mystique. Did you know that Gunther auditioned for the role of Mystique in the x-men movie but they went with rebecca romaine stamos it was down to the two yeah but he wouldn't do a call back it was like that that uh he was like i'm not reading for it it was like that patrick soisy chris farley chippendales dance off yeah they're like two we're going in two completely different directions um uh number 15 let's say sure uh rhubarb cordial oh yeah i make it every year uh once a year we talk about it six weeks every year it's just it's so it's so pink it's so inviting yeah like the singer pink sounds like my ex-wife um number the next uh 40 the rap part quote unquote

from steam by peter gabriel everybody knows that hold your breath can't do five um yeah that comes up quite a bit. Yeah. Love it every time. Absolutely. Uh, number 13, not why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good things happen to John Mayer? Yeah. Why do good things keep happening to that guy? Yeah. He can't, he continues to succeed even without any musical hits yeah and uh he succeeds in all corners of life financially stardom wise relationship wise he's i don't know

yeah he has he succeeds in relationships by having very short relationships well i don't think he's not he's not built to last he's not he's only you know he's the he's the guy who ruins everything and then the next guy is the one that you marry right yeah uh number 12 yes that comedian who makes the motorcycle noises oh herb dixon yeah yeah we haven't talked he hasn't come up in a while, but there was. There was a hot streak. The first 300 episodes or so, he came up quite often. But because it's like, it's like we're sitting on a gym here. It's like we have our own Michael Winslow here in Canada.

But specifically. Very narrow. Automatively, just the two, two wheels. Two wheels. He can do some four wheel. Okay. I'm just saying. He can do some four-wheeled. Okay. I'm just saying. Let's say number 11.

Yeah. The Bushwhackers from wrestling. Agreed. Are they twins? I think they are really brothers. You mean black guys? They are really brothers. You mean black guys?

I watched a clip that I showed at Ring-a-Ding-Dong Dandy where they have the Royal Rumble. So it's like 30 guys in the ring all at once. You got to throw the guy over the top rope to eliminate him. Yes, I know what you're talking about. And the bushwhacker comes in. They come in in their signature dumb walk. Yeah, and then he walks into the ring. A guy picks him up, throws him right out, and then he does a signature dumb walk back to the locker room wrestled for two seconds yeah if that pretty great uh number let's call it 10 hyper color shirts oh yeah i could talk about

those all day why did we have them they would show your weakness do you know what's weird is why did we have them and why has there not been a similar thing well maybe there has been and i just i'm not a kid yeah i guess maybe those uh shoes that light up are this that generation oh yeah the shoes with the heel the wheels and the heels yeah wheelies or heelys were they called? Yeah, they were named after Jeff Heely. Yeah, from Roadhouse. Roadhouse. Blind Canadian guitarist. Yeah.

One of our best blind guitarists. Yeah. Angel Eyes. That was his hit. Yeah. What did I do? What did I say?

To turn your angel eyes my way. Backslap count to five. Backslap booby trap covered up in bubble wrap. Bubble wrap, yeah. Number nine, Vincent Price No way. Backslap count to five. Backslap booby trap.

Cover it up in bubble wrap. Bubble wrap, yeah. Number nine, Vincent Price as Egghead. I was just going over, like I was looking through old blog recaps, and he comes up quite a bit in his Egghead costume. Holding an egg. What was his power? He had an egg. He liked, and he made egg puns. That was the other.

He liked eggs. He liked eggs. And he would say, this plant is going excellent. Exactly. Um, eggs. He would just say eggs.

I want some eggs. Hey, can we get some eggs over here? You got to look on the sunny side. Yeah. I have, I have eczema. Uh, eggs. And I know how to use side. Yeah, I have eczema. Eggs, and I know how to use them.

Okay, number eight. Yeah. Worf from Star Trek The Next Generation. Old turtle forehead. We just got that forehead. You can compare it to every bad forehead. That's true. Anybody who's got a slightly weird forehead gets the wharf.

Oh, you know who would be a good mashup? Johnny Depp from Black Mass. A lot of forehead to work with there. I'll do a Photoshop at home. Okay. Or you won't do it here? No, I don't have my computer with me. What if there's an app where you could just put wharfs,

forehead on different characters? Add it to your list of business plans oh yeah absolutely number 7 evening shade it was just honest to god I was just thinking the other day about how much we talk about evening shade

like because in terms of a show that neither of us ever watched and is at best an obscure footnote in television history, we talk about it like it was our favorite show. Yeah. Because a week or two ago, the Drew Carey show came up. Right.

And it's something we've all seen every episode of. Yeah. Don't have any particular fondness towards but it was fine outdoor pool table yeah yeah buzz beer yeah yeah fun things um but we never mentioned that and we mentioned evening shade every week as a part of our monday night cbs lineup yeah oh wow. Whoa, sorry, I lost my breath. Oh, speaking of CBS, do you know what they optioned

to turn into an American sitcom? Mr. D. Oh. Yeah. They're going to Americanize the whole thing. Oh, and get rid of all, they want to keep the cast.

I don't know. A dude knew. Who on the cast has been on our show? Mark Little. Mark Little. Mark Forward. Mark Forward. The big marks.

I think that's it. Oh, Jerry D. Jerry D's never been on our show. Never been on the show. Okay. Number six. Casey Jones. Are there two versions of Casey Jones?

There's two versions of Casey Jones. And this is a conversation we have a lot. One's a train conductor. And one's a Ninja Turtle friend. Friend of Ninja Turtles. That comes up a lot. Good call. Number five, the organization

No Ma'am from Married With Children. And I still don't know what it stands for. Oh, it has a rhombus. It's a rebus. Yeah, it's a rebus. But I don't know what it, but I know that it doesn't quite work. Anagram, acronym.

Lexicon. It's a lexicon. It's an oxymoron. It's a, it's what's in the. It's a palindrome. It's a zeitgeist. Did you know? It's a Schymoron. It's what's in the... It's a palindrome. It's a zeitgeist. Did you know? It's a Schubert.

Okay. Number four, the spot from Seven Up. Is that his own TV show? They tried to make it into a character. And it had like four different video games. And he had sunglasses. Yep. And Mickey Mouse hands. And Mickey Mouse hands.

And Mickey Mouse feet. And did you read that thing about Mac Tonight that came out on it? It was like the rise and fall of the character Mac Tonight. It's like in short, it was only supposed to be a California ad campaign. Okay. Because the chains were complaining like our sales have stalled out at dinner time so they came up with this mac tonight like have a big mac tonight and it was so popular in california like we're going nationwide and there was even

discussions that he would replace ronnie ronald mcdonald but um uh what's his name famous singer bobby not bobby vinton is that a real no bobby darren sued because she said you're stealing my my steez yeah mac of the knife yeah well like it was fine that they used the song but i hit the his style or whatever oh and so they abandon it and uh and in turn uh kevin spacey's steez yeah yeah i want to make the movie everyone wants to see yeah back tonight kevin spacey is mac tonight i would be so everybody would be so excited wouldn't that be the like if it was we were all expecting it to be a bobby darren movie beyond the sea you show up and it's just it's just like about this this piano playing moon guy yeah and like growing up there's like they have a kid version

and some tragedy befalls him a blood moon oh no um number three uh uh the john travolta movie phenomenon oh yeah well i mean come on he gets all sorts of powers yeah he learns portuguese real fast but not all of it uh number two that that uh lady stomping grapes oh man fell out of her grape hole what is it fair to say it's still funniest thing on the internet funniest thing ever although there was a clip that i posted on facebook the other day of a kid puking that was pretty great i saw that no it's not no what's great about it is that the mom's like, Oh, I'm going to puke. No, I saw it. I saw the whole thing, bud.

Anyways. And number one thing that we talk about all the time. No one intends to bring it up. But it just happens every goddamn week. Uh-huh. In the early 90s when Looney Tunes all went hip-hop. Yeah. Hip-hop Taz went hip-hop yeah hip-hop has hip-hop uh not roger rabbit bunny bunny but bunny rabbit man buster bunny buster bunny's the tiny tune version but it was around that time yeah yeah and they have not tried to they didn't make hipster looney tunes they didn't do rave kid yeah they never tried to re-up on that they didn't make hipster looney tunes they didn't do rave kid yeah they never tried to

re-up on that they didn't do grunge looney tunes nope they never did uh i don't know what other the the other subcultures are oh uh i guess goth looney tunes yeah oh that would be the best um brony looney tunes oh weird yeah um trench coat mafia looney tunes oh Ugh. Weird. Yeah. Um, Trenchcoat Mafia looney tunes. Oh, no. Nobody wants to remember that.

Whee. They weren't all bad. Yeah, I guess. I guess we gotta think of the positive things. Remember the

positive things. Um, so this last top five, it was top six. Top six list. Mm-hmm. Did you ever,

um, have like a pop radio station that did a top six at six? Or the top seven at seven? Yeah, we definitely had something that did the top seven at seven, but I don't think tops,

because six at six I think was like news, news time. News time on the pop station? In pop news today. Cindy Lauper, dead.

Tomorrow, back from the grave, Cyndi Lauper. Goonies. These are top six show intros. I only listened up to about episode 260, and then I was like, that's enough. You listen to the beginnings of every show? Well, somebody had compiled quite a few of them. Oh, yes. A gentleman named Hunter had put a thing on SoundCloud, so I listened to that.

And then I listened to 10 more, and then I was like, gotta go. And these are the... Off the very top of the show. Where you introduced me? Yes. And so starting with episode number seven, where I said, with me as always is one of the funniest dudes ever in this room. Pretty good. But also kind of a burn on you.

Yeah, a little bit. But you know what? Worth it. Plus our guest was the great Don Rickles. Yeah. And boy, oh man. He was steaming. He called me a hockey puck.

Mm-hmm. It's weird that we got him for episode seven. And then never came back again. Yeah. I think we might have said something that offended him. Oh, remember also that we had a long running, speaking of things, that we had a long running thing

where we couldn't figure out if Jonathan Winters was alive or dead. No, we never had that. I knew he was alive the whole time but i i remember bringing it up because in this episode one or two i had him in my celebrity death pool oh yeah glad we don't do that anymore uh number six from episode 29 i said five-time Edward R. Murrow award winner. And then you said from Como News. Yeah. Eric Slocum or Dan Lewis.

Kathy Gertson. Um, yeah. Uh, Como News was the ABC affiliate in Seattle that we got. Yeah. They seem to clean up on the murrows every year oh yeah this full of murrows making it rain murrows uh number five from episode 34 uh is the first man who ever waged a successful lawsuit against victoria's secret Dave Shumka, and your response was, yes, it was for negligence. Oh my god, I was so good at puns. Yeah. What happened? But you didn't even know it. When you

listen back to it, you're like, I don't get the joke. And I'm like, negligence. Wow. Yeah. It was just natural coming out of you. Well, yeah, that's the that's one of your bigger torts. And when you do, when you're suing a company. Oh yeah. Yeah. You're going to want to look into a tort.

Um, number. Oh, three. I don't know. Last track. Fine. Uh, is the man that essence magazine called their top bachelor of 2005. You said I beat out Mario van Peebles. Yeah.

He's a big, well, I guess he's more of a, he'd be a nineties essence, essence man. That's true. But you know, maybe he has one more reprieve. Why you're big on reprieves today. I don't know. Maybe I saw it something that had reprieve in it this morning yeah or maybe like isn't it like when you get pardoned like isn't it something you get on death row yeah yeah so congratulations to mario van people for beating the system yep

uh number two from episode 154 a man whose cover of the Febreze advertising jingle is to die for. And then you did the whole jingle. Oh, is that, was that the doggy on the floor is not killing me. My boots fit well, but they are killing me. Yeah. Yeah. It's something, something, something is not thrilling me.

Yeah. Yeah. And then it had a guy in it that we thought was maybe a comedian from la yeah good memory yeah and finally from episode 210 a man who used to be a teenage dirt bag but not anymore he's grown up into an adult dirt man Dirt Man. And it was because I watched the movie Loser. Oh, with Jason Biggs? Jason Biggs. Featuring Huitus on the soundtrack.

Great video. Great song, great video. Is Mina Suvari in that? Yes. And she sings the part to him about having tickets to Iron Maiden, maybe? Great, great memories. Yeah. Can we agree to disagree that for episode 500 we just treat it like a regular episode oh no i don't agree to that um uh i mean on paper i agree

to it but i'm not signing anything okay uh well uh you know what, listeners? Thanks for your patience. Yeah. Through this weird episode. We shouldn't have done Get to Know Us. No, and I liked hearing about University Dave. University Dave. Did you pledge? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What? What was your... I took the Pepsi pledge. Do you know what the Incredible Hulk pledged? What? Gamma, gamma, gamma. Is that from a joke book? Yeah.

But I really held on to it what was your incredible you it was something about hulk overstand oh yeah you couldn't it was that it was about it was a twinkies commercial where hulk uh hulk was dumb but then he ate a Twinkie and became smart. So Hulk no understand was his thing. Somebody's trying to describe to him a Twinkie. Hulk no understand. And then he becomes smart because he eats the Twinkie. And then it was Hulk overstand.

It was never Hulk understand. I think that's how it went. Anyways, it was a long time ago. That was back in the days when on a road trip you had to make up things to keep yourself amused. So that was all made up? No, it was from a Twinkie ad. Oh, okay. That was in a comic book?

Yeah, yeah. Remember sometimes they'd have like an ad for cereal or something and the comic book character would be eating tricks or whatever. And then you're like, well, that's weird. Yeah. Hulk's a sellout. Yeah. Oh man.

He can wait to sell it. Need to buy some new pants. Sure. Sure. Um, but yeah, thanks for, uh,

listening for, uh, listening to all 400 episodes in their entirety. Except this one, maybe it turned off yeah uh and uh you know here's to what do we say 800 more sure and then that's it then we're out we're out we're okay we're off to sunny cabo oh finally I finally get my, uh, dick wet. Yeah. Yes.

I mean, it's going to get wet if I'm in the pool. Just like the rest of me. It's going to get wet. Sure. Um, yeah. So thanks for listening and, uh,

come on back next week. We can wear another episode of stop. I guess to yourself. I think we only had full serve at the station near our house. Yeah, I remember there was the guy comes and wipes your windows, squeeties your windows. Yeah.

And checks your oil. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah, just opens it up. He wouldn't have had an iPod back then. Yeah, he had a Playboy. Yeah. Let me just give myself a mini boner.

All right. Yeah, no, everything's fine. You have different sizes of boners? Yeah, absolutely Yeah, no, everything's fine. You have different sizes of boners? Yeah, absolutely. You know, half, half-mast, full-mast,

post-mast, black-mast. That's when your boner has weird contact lenses. Yeah, blue contact lenses.