Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 405 - Abby Shumka

Episode Date: December 21, 2015

Abby Shumka returns to talk baby energy, name retention, and suburban kindness. Also, the Stop Podcasting Yourself Secret Santa gift exchange.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 405 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's a huge fan of the California Raisins Claymation Christmas, Mr. Dave Shumka. Melekeleke maka. There it is.

Do they do that? No. That's um... Oh, Don Ho? Vacation? Uh, yeah. When he's imagining the swimming pool. Ah, yes. What do the California Raisins sing at Christmas?

I heard it through the grapevine. I heard it through the manger. I heard it through the holly. And assorted hits. Yeah, assorted Motown co-opted. Why don't they just play a Motown Christmas? They probably do. Yeah, thereorted Motown co-opted. Why don't they just play a Motown Christmas? They probably do. Yeah.

There's one. There's a funny sketch in it where it's a bunch of bells that hit themselves in the head. Yeah, that's classic. But they're not raisins. No. Those are bells. Yeah, yeah. It was the.

But the same mation. Clay. Yeah, same clay. Yeah. Yeah, same clay. They were really stingy with the clay. Yeah, same clay. Yeah. Yeah, same clay. They were really stingy with the clay. Yeah, everything was purple clay. And our guest today, returning guest, one of the all-time faves.

Through no fault of my own. Does that even make sense? Yeah, through no fault of your own, Miss Abby Shubka. It's me. Hooray! Hi. Hi. Hi.

Thanks for being our guest again. Sweet.. It's me. Hooray! Hi. Hi. Hi. Thanks for being our guest again. Sweet. Thanks for having me. Just a reminder to everyone, Abby is my wife. I'm also my own person. And Dave, you're her husband, and you're also your own person. No, he's just my husband. Oh, yeah.

That was a real slave driver sitch. She's a real henpecking pen pecker. Go on. This is fun. Work play. slave driver sitch she's a real hen pecking pen pecker and go on this is fun workplace do you want to get to know us uh huh

get to know us Abby happy holidays and merry christmas to you that's like the most insincere voice from anybody

Abby I'm like that's Dave's fake voice what do you mean a fake voice like like Abby I'm like yeah that's Dave's fake voice what do you mean a fake voice like I it's a voice

yeah but it's like it's cause I'm fake insincere like that one year where you tried to be full of Christmas cheer and you were just like

Merry Christmas everyone you mean at the Krampus party oh man it was great oh where you you were trying very hard to not

be the Krampus oh what a wonderful gift. Tis the season for joy and love. And it was the best. Yeah, I'm... And it did kind of blow up in your face, maybe? No, I think I was... You weren't Krampus.

Yeah, I think everyone appreciated my holly jolly outlook. Yeah, yeah. Abby, how is the holly jolly season treating you this year? So far, so good. Why does he keep doing this character? Abby, wife of mine. Apple of eye. What is...

Tell me a little bit about the... The special feeling you get on the tip of your nose when you hear Jingle Bell on the rooftop? What is that guy that does the interviews that just the black backdrop? Charlie Rose. These are Charlie Rose kind of questions. No. James Lipton, more likely. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Is Abby Shumacher here? Can I retalk to her? Abby, I've prepared the usual seven questions. A pile of blue cards. Yeah, that we ask Benoit Prévost from the Proust questionnaire, made famous by Benoit Prévost. The Proust questionnaire made famous by Benoit Pruvo. Which of the seven deadly sins defines your life?

Who do you hope to see in hell? If you built a robot, what is the penis for? So how long has it been since you were last on the show? When we hosted One Bad Mother, you were our guest. Yes, that was what? Like September, October? Yeah, September, October. And then maybe a year ago.

I don't remember. I did Christmas last year, maybe? No, that was Charlie. No, that was Alicia. I've done a Christmas. Yeah, you've done a Christmas. I thought I was here. I thought I was here the year where Graham gave us the three months worth of goodie baskets. Maybe.

Yeah. And the Dick Tracy book. Sure. Oh, yeah. I thought that was last year. That was Charlie. Was it? Yeah.

Oh. What did I give Charlie? Anything? No, you and I just exchanged. Oh, Charlie just sat there? And then the guest just stood there like a chump. Yeah. Well, I brought stuff for both of you. It's true. I just exchanged. Oh, and Charlie just sat there? And then the guests just stood there like a chump. Yeah. Well, I brought stuff for both of you.

It's true. I got some. Oh, really? Did you bring anything? No, but I got the gifts. Oh, okay. I enjoyed the candy and the cheese. All right, whatever.

What are we doing? Yeah. Have we started the show? Yeah, absolutely. Abby, let's get to know you. What's new? What's going on? Well, not much.

Oh, no, wait. That's Dave's line. Baby's still fucking awesome. Uh-huh. What's new in babydom? She takes up a lot of my time. That's what babies do, right? Yeah, they'll do that.

Where is the baby today? She is with the nanny. Okay. So she's out on the town. She's out hanging. There's two. Flushing queens. There's nanny and a little girl, and another little girl who's like the same age and her

nanny and they hang out together. Okay. And they're little buds. Couple days a week. Couple days a week. And is, because at first she was not into this idea. No. She did not care for it.

Yeah, yeah. For like the first month, she just cried all day, every day apparently. But is now, is she into it? Yeah. She still cries when I leave. Sure. Or like I put my hand on the gate. You got a foot on the show.

Yeah. I put my hand on the, like I even tell her beforehand. Like, I don't tell her the night before, but I tell her the morning of. I'm like, it's over. I tell her two nights before. Yeah. Reminder. You're going to go and see your friend and the nanny and you're going to play and it's

going to be great. And then we get all packed up and we walk all this very close. It's just a couple blocks away and she's totally fine. And she's happy the whole time. Yeah. And then as soon as I put my hand on the gate and she realizes where we are, she starts to like quiver a little bit. And then I walk in and she's barely like out of the carrier. Like I just carry her in a little like ergo carrier thingy.

And she's barely out of it and she's already wigging out. Yeah, yeah. And then I just, I like chuck her lunch in the fridge and bye. Do you think partially she's doing it for your benefit?

Like, mom's going to be upset if I don't throw a paint. Oh, yeah. Like, if I look like I'm totally cool with this. Mom will feel bad.

Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, it's the real cats in the cradle moment. Right? Geez, a lot like you.

Arr. Arr. Well, I do cry when I get left places. Yeah. Absolutely. It's scary. But only as I'm leaving. Yes.

But afterwards, you're fine. Yeah. Do you remember when you were a kid? Because I went to a daycare thing when I was a kid. I don't remember loving it, but I don't remember freaking out about it. No, I don't remember freaking out either. Just going there and just being like, you know, trying to see as much television as I could while I was there. Get in as many minutes as you could.

If I pretend to nap, I can see it through that mirror. Yeah, I can watch Days of Our Lives or whatever. Santa Barbara. I feel like that was the soap opera that Of choice.

Yeah. Was that a day timer? Santa Barbara? Yeah. I think it was. Maybe not. I don't know. But I just remember

Santa Barbara being like the daycare ladies. Her story? Yeah, that was her story. Yeah. I saw, it's because I, this is a weird association, but I associate soap operas and like daytime TV stuff also with tabloids. Oh, yeah. Like this thing.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, because they have like soap opera magazines and stuff. Yeah, but like. Or it yeah. Like this thing. Yeah, yeah. Oh, because they have soap opera magazines and stuff. Yeah, but like in the grocery stores. And the stuff, the kind of people who would watch,

you know, Days of Our Lives might pick up a National Enquirer. Yeah. And I saw on the cover of National Enquirer when I was at the store today,

the James Garner who's been dead for a few years. Is he even still alive? No. It was some James Garner Who's been dead For a few years Is he even still alive? No It was some James Garner Retrospective

James Garner shocker Great Like who's Who's That's time well spent Who's buying this? I guess it's people Who don't have the internet

Who remember James Garner Yeah And it was Pictures of young James Garner too Really? Yeah He was real handsome

Wow Yeah Yeah Yeah And it was pictures of young James Garner, too. Really? Yeah. He was real handsome. Wow. Hoo-ha-hee-ha-hoo. Dave just creamed his jeans. Hoo-ha-hee-ha-hoo. James Garner and Jennifer Garner, no relation. They're brother and sister. Oh, brother and sister. Okay, that's what it was.

She looks good. He looks dead. That would be a good. Who's got the, you know what they do? Who's got the worst beach bodies? Yeah. Who's got the worst corpse bodies? You'll never guess who this corpse is.

No, seriously, you'll never guess. Oh, but the hands and feet and teeth have been removed. You'll never guess. Why have the hands and feet been removed? Because you can't test for fingerprints and stuff. Oh, yes, absolutely. This was a Russian, some sort of Russian. Yeah.

Wait, so it's like an actual forensic you can't test? I thought it was just for a magazine. No, no, no shortcuts. People are resourceful. Yeah, people are resourceful. And watch a lot of CSI. Still to this day, I don't understand it,

but it happens. But why would the magazine have a bunch of handlers and people? Well, that was the shocker about James Garner. Killed by a Russian mob. Because it would have like...

Dave keeps gesturing with his hands. Little twinkle stars. What do you want me to gesture with his hands. Like little twinkle stars. What do you want me to gesture with? Like you're singing twinkle, twinkle little star. Anyway, this is dumb. Yeah. Now, so back in the day, daytime television, that's all there was. There was just soap operas.

Game shows, yeah. Now it's a whole... Talk shows. Oh, sometimes there would Now it's a whole... Talk shows. Oh, sometimes there would be like a money movie. What is that? Where they're showing a movie and then as they go to commercial

there's a guy standing in a studio with a telephone. He dials numbers that people have sent in. I don't know what this is. What are you talking about? Yeah, and you can win like $100. What?

What? And the guy is in like a crew neck Cosby sweater. This I do have. I am unfamiliar with this. And he calls and he's. Virginia, isn't it you? Yeah. But sometimes the person's not home and that's what usually happens.

So what this person. Wait, they're showing a movie like Grease. No, you wish. They're showing some, it's just the first. Like what kind of movie? It's the most like Technicolor Western or something. Okay. And then it breaks for commercial and then there's a guy calling people's houses, offering them money.

No. Have they pre-registered for the, okay. They've entered in there. We'll pull another number. Oh, no in there. We'll pull another number. Oh, no answer. So we'll pull another number. Do they have to answer, like, is it like Michael and Kelly where they have to, like, answer a question to win the money?

No, they just have, oh, I don't, yeah, maybe. But they have to be home, mostly. There's only landlines, so you have to be home. Oh, man. But that's not, that's not anymore. Now you've got any possible show you could dream of during the day. Yeah. Do you watch a lot of TV during the day when you're here with the kid?

What do you and the kid do during the day? I have no idea. Well, we usually have a slow start. Okay. Dave takes care of the morning routine because he's way more of a morning person than I am And then Cheers Yeah

And then We take the dog for a walk Yeah That's the first thing we do Okay And that usually eats up about an hour Wow And we usually like

We'll drive to like The dog park Or we'll just loop around the neighborhood All right Stop and get a coffee This all sounds very Pasty or something Puts a little coffee dish out for the dog to drink.

Oh, yeah. He likes a mocha, probably. He's not supposed to have the chocolate, but we love it. It's only a little bit. And tis the season for peppermint mocha. He's really upset about these Starbucks cups. He won't shut up. Don't say Jesus rules.

Yeah, and he's like, why is it gray? Last year it was gray. Yeah. And then we'll come home and she'll have a nap because she's still got two naps a day. Two naps a day. That's out of sight. Yeah. That's pretty great.

Yeah. Yeah. So that's the first nap of the day? Yeah. Usually around 11. All right. 10. I'm trying to figure out how to pattern my life more after Margo.

After a 15-month-old, she's got it on lock. And then after that, we'll have lunch. Either here or we'll go out and get something. And then we'll go to the community center or we'll go to the library or we'll... Just like some... I try to get her out somewhere where she can just burn off a bunch of energy. Like somewhere where she can just... Yeah, where I can just let her loose and she can climb around burn off a bunch of energy. Like somewhere where she can just Yeah, where I can just

let her loose and she can climb around and play with stuff. You want to wear her out. Yep. Does she have a lot of energy? Yep. Okay.

All right. She's a kid that you're going to have to get into like gymnastics. Gymnastics or something. Gymnastics. I'm trying to figure out a schedule for gymnastics

for her because she's old enough now to like What do they call it? Tumbling? Well, Dave was talking about Crazy Baby Time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's loving because she's old enough now to like what do they call it tumbling well Dave was talking about crazy baby time yeah yeah yeah she's loving

just she's learning but I'm not sure she's more energetic than other babies no but she's more energetic than me yeah but like

going back to which which uh whatever the sin would be my life you'd ask yeah sloth

sloth oh yeah sloths for sure no question mine is uh murder no way would be my life, you'd ask? Yeah. Sloth. Sloth. Sloth. Oh, yeah, sloths. For sure. No question. Mine is murder. No way. Do we think we can name them all? Yeah.

Avarice. Which one's that? Wrath. Ambergris. No, they make perfume out of that. Is that whale blood? Yeah. Why did you start with avarice, the one that no one can define?

Isn't that like jealousy? That's envy. Envy. Envy. Wrath. Sloth. Sloth. Gluttony.

Yeah, gluttony. Lust. Pride or whatever? Yeah. In the name of love. That's all of them, isn't it? Well, it depends. Is avarice, does it overlap with one of these?

It's hard to say. Avarice is the sin of questioning whether or not avarice is one of them. You have seven sins. Yeah, exactly. That's it. It's a loophole. Can I ask Siri? Sure.

Hi, Siri. What are the seven sins? Do you know that you can make your Siri Australian? Did you? Yep. Mine is. Siri, what are the seven deadly sins? All right, here's what I got.

Thanks, fella. Seven deadly sins of the ballet shanty. Yep. Seven deadly sins manga. But the harder one to do is the virtues. Are there seven virtues? I don't know. I couldn't name one.

I think there's seven virtues. Okay. Patience. Promptness. Well, one of them is piety. Yeah. That's the only one I know for sure. Compassion, maybe.

No, none of them are like things that they're all weirder ones yeah like being pious we didn't have greed we didn't have see we're all too humble we're so humble we didn't even think we're humbler than what are the we'll murder you but we won't steal your oh. Oh, we'll sex eat you. And pridefully so. See if Crocodile Siri... Pretty good. If it knows the virtues. It just Googled it.

Yeah, yeah. But I want him to do it. What are the virtues? Here is what I found. Thanks. Thanks, Crocodile. Call that a Google. I think it's's maybe there's five of them i don't know i don't know if there's seven of them but yeah there's a lot this isn't a strange thing

to google yeah it's it's not giving me what you want but they're the companion piece sure although according to wikipedia the opposite of a virtue is a vice, not a sin. Oh, I know what the vices are. Oh, yeah. Vice magazine. Vice magazine. That's it. Those are the two. Miami vice.

Oh, yeah. That's the third one. Those are the three. You count Vice News as a totally separate entity. Oh, sure. Vice magazine and vice news does vice news do do's and don'ts yeah they do they do like look at the look at what angle of merkle look at the cloak on this muja hadin when did they hire dennis miller

he does have a pretty good bitchy tone. He's snark. Abby watches that Vice TV show, and I want to make a super cut of the host of it because he always does the same. He has the same delivery, like verbal cadence. Yeah, it's just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Exactly the same every time. Yeah, but I feel like if you're an announcer guy, you pick a cadence and then that's... But this guy's like literally every sentence. Like you can have some sort of flow, but this is ridiculous.

I'm happy he only does the in-between bits because if... No, he does. Well, he doesn't do the story. He's got like a sleeve tattoo. He's the guy who works at Vice who has the tattoos. But does he have a beard? Does he have that guy? Yeah. Okay.

Shane something. Shane. Shane West? No, that's the other guy. There's not a lot of Shanes in traditional movies. Is he in like Get Over It or something? What is Get Over It? It's the movie.

With Sisko? With Sisko. He's a high schooler? Choreographs the prom. With Ben Foster and Kiki Dee. Wow, that's quite a cast. Damn it, I saw that in the theater. Really?

Yep. Remember when you would see movies in the theater just cause? They didn't even have to be good or interesting or big screen stuff? Yeah, or three-dimensional. The last movie I saw in the theater was... You'd see a teen comedy in the theater? Yeah, or a romantic comedy. Sure, like a drama or something even?

Yeah, yeah, and you're just like, ooh. I think the last one I saw was Mad Max Fury Road. Yeah, that's the last one I saw. I want to see Creed, but I just haven't made the time. I'm hearing good things. I'm hearing really good things. Everything I've heard from Creed has been great, with arms wide open. Yeah.

Oh, boy. Scott, what's his name? Stapp. Stapp. I wasn't sure if it's Scott Stapp or Scott Sapp. I really wasn't sure. Neither. Yeah.

So, when you were a kid, were you a rambunctious kid? Were you running around and like, did you have to be in activities? what activities were you yeah well when did you what did a young abby music classes they're like movement where you like get like a silky scarf and you're like did you really wave it around and i did ballet oh and i think did you ever use a ball in those movement things because i don't know that's like a big thing there's the silky scarf and you ever use a ball in those movement things? Because I know that's like a big thing. There's the silky scarf. Oh, she didn't do rhythmic gymnastics. That's what sounded like she was doing.

My physical activities ended pretty quickly. Between the ages of like two and seven, I was super into it. You were paralyzed. And then a miracle happened um and i just prayed real hard real hard um no but like between the ages of like i don't know two and seven or something i was active and loved it and then i loves you what are you talking about that was a calgary television station um but then i very quickly realized that it was not my thing. Yeah.

I mean, it's the same. Maybe, maybe around puberty, like middle school ish. I realized I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I don't care.

I think I gave up much earlier than that, where I was like, I remember being in elementary school gym class and it partly had to do with, I had a super shitty gym teacher in elementary school. Didn't we all? Exactly. But this guy was just awful. And he literally turned me off of all of physical activity.

Why? How? I swear to God, for like 20 years. Was he calling you out? Because I used to have- You're dragging ass, Campbell. Yeah. Who was it?

Was it Ryan Beal that was talking about it? Someone getting yelled at by a gym teacher? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And he'd call him like fancy boy or something like that. Yeah. Tart or something. Who was it? Was it Ryan Beal that was talking about it? Someone getting yelled at by a gym teacher? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And he'd call him like Fancy Boy or something like that. Yeah. Tart or something.

I don't know. Anyway, yeah. He essentially ruined, to this day, I fucking hate team sports. Hate them with a passion. And then just, which just kind of just bled into any sort of physical activity. And I'm only just starting. Which just kind of just bled into any sort of physical activity. And I'm only just starting. I'm 35 and I'm only just starting now to kind of try to find some sort of exercise or physical activity that I can tolerate. Yeah.

See, that's the problem. He burned me for so long. Like that, not only that you can tolerate, but that you're going to like do. Yeah. You are motivated to do. Yeah. Because, oh man, like if it's a thing where you're like, where if it's already not fun just even to think about it. Yeah, you just know you're going to do it.

Oh, man. I don't know. I don't know. My dad and I, as I mentioned a few weeks ago, have started playing tennis. Yeah. Fancy gentlemen. We play gentleman's sport with the sweater vest.

Silver tea set. Silk scarves. We do a little bit of movement class before. Loosen up. And we started just... Just picturing Dave's dad twirling around his little scarf. I love it. I mean, I owe these dancers legs to him.

I don't believe it. But we only recently, like we used to just rally And recently we started keeping score And when you win a game It's one love And every time it's one love I say to myself One love, one love, Bob Marley on the court I would say it like louder

But no one would know what I mean No, but you somehow made tennis a little bit whiter there. Yeah. Uh-huh. Just when you thought it was impossible. Oh. One love, one love, Bob Marley on the court. I do it a little funkier than that.

Sorry. Sorry. One love, one love, Bob Marley on the court. More like that. But like, you played team sports, right? And you were fine with the... You didn't love it, but... I loved playing hockey.

It's weird. My parents signed me up when I was like six for soccer and t-ball. And then I never did baseball ever again. I just did that one year. Yeah. And I asked my parents later, like, why did you take me out of that? And they said, oh, you didn't like it. I never liked soccer.

You made it do it for 10 years. I complained about that for the next 12 years. Maybe you complained a little louder about the other thing yeah like by comparison and they complained about swimming and they still made you swim oh man i complained about everything like it was just basically my parents nothing beat swimming for knocking a kid out though oh man that was the one thing that i actually i've always really enjoyed swimming yeah because you don't sweat you do by yourself. There's nobody fucking yelling at you. Yeah, that's true.

There's nobody in your face. Yeah. Yeah, and it's got kind of like a... You can set your own pace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Swimming was the one.

But it's such a pain in the ass to, like, go to the pool and get dressed and get in the pool and get out and show. Show someone your genitals. You have to. Yeah. Yeah, that is true. Like swimming is a bit of a, but when Margo gets a little older, that's going to be like key to like if she's. Oh, yeah. If she can't settle down, you take her swimming, knock her out.

I take her once a week swimming. Nice. Good start. Good start. Doesn't love it, but. No, but I don't. I think it's any baby that loves it, you're like, weird. Like, why do you like water so much?

She's done like three sets of swimming lessons, and we signed up for this set, and it just happens to be, we didn't think it through, these classes are right when her naps are. And so we have to like wake her up. Either push it or interrupt it. I would be grumpy if somebody woke me up and threw me a ball. Get you undressed in some weird change room

and then chuck you in a... Because we chuck her in the pool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to. And then we come back half an hour later. So we just... You guys go have fries

at the commissary. We do just go have fries and then we go swimming. Like, wake her up, make sure she's not hungry And then she's okay But we've missed every class I had a friend

When I was in elementary school That was a diver And I don't know how you find out as a kid That you're into diving I loved diving Oh man I loved it I still to this day don't know Oh man, I loved it. I couldn't, I still to this day,

I don't know how to dive. I loved it. Really? I only liked the short, like I didn't like the tall boards. Right. But how did you, like how old were you when you learned how to dive?

How tall was the? Like I don't know, six, seven? How short is the short board? One meter. One meter, like right above the water.

Yeah. Okay. There's one meter, three meter, five and seven and 10 maybe. I forget. Yeah. There's every meter. One meter, like right above the water. Yeah. Okay. There's one meter, three meter, five and seven and ten maybe? I forget. Yeah. There's every meter.

But then there's one and three are the springboards and then the other ones are just the platforms, I think. Yeah. Okay. Well, I think that in the Olympics, there's like a 10 meter. Springboard maybe. Springboard. Yeah. I like the springy ones.

I definitely have jumped off of those, but never dived off. The three meter was the tall, and that's like 10 feet. Yeah. And I remember jumping off them and like having butterflies in my stomach the whole way down

like it's so high up. Yeah, and then getting like super wedged. No, I've seen them at like the university pool. I've done the 10 meter. I've done it a few times and I've just like

I forced myself to do it and I was like, yep, done it. Never got to do it again. Did you do it as a dive? No. No, I did it as a feet first. Only ever feet first.

Yeah. But like if you do your feet wrong and the water can go anywhere. Yeah. Yeah. And it does. Oh boy, does it ever. That water is not timid. It's very.

It's very forward. Yeah. Very aggressive. European. Yeah. Penthouse. I never thought it would happen to me. I had my eye on this pool. But yeah, I still to this day don't know how to dive.

Like I can get halfway and then I spaz out. And then your body just goes. Yeah. But like you can lean forward and put your hands out, right? Yeah, I can do that. But that's not like I can't do like a, you know. Sure. An up and over.

An up and over. Oh, I don't know. As opposed to just a fallen head first. Yeah, I can do. Yeah. Fallen head first. Or like if you were competitive swimming, you would dive in. At the beginning off the blocks, off the starter blocks.

In theory. In theory. You could do that. No, but I don't know that I. Yeah, I guess I could do that. That's a different dive though because you're not going deep. You want to stay as close to the surface as you can. Yeah.

And I think I would probably just belly flop if I did that, to be honest. I don't think that I would. You got to add more weight to your head. What, this beard isn't going to weigh him down enough in the pool? Just strap hand weights to my head. Yeah, or like rolls of pennies. All right Alright guys. Ready.

That's how Michael Phelps learned. That's true. Look at him. That's true. That's true. It's always these parents push the kids the right way. Beyonce's dad

used to make her run laps while singing. Is that true? Yeah, I think I heard that. I know that Lady Gaga, well, she'll go on the treadmill and sing. That makes a lot of sense. And Jim Carrey used to do the same thing. He used to, like, do his jokes while he was running because he was so, like, dumb. Because he thought that made sense.

I don't know. If you add running to anything, it kind of makes it seem more like you're doing something. It ups the difficulty level. Absolutely, it does. What about swimming? Who can sing and swim? That's what Nelly Furtado did.

Yeah, that's true. I don't know. That's how Michael Felsman became such a good singer. Papa, Papa, Ronsi. Michael Powell sings the best of Lady Gaga with Tony Bennett.

Just in the side of the pool snapping his fingers. In a suit. Yeah. Hey, cool cat. Now,

Abby, David, what else is going on with you? I started a podcast That's right What microphone do you use?

I use the one you're using Yeah I bet you do Yeah Because when it comes to me And the other two It's my house I call it the good chair

Yeah It's mostly the chair Well and it's also Our mouths It's like we're kissing If we use the same microphone Oh that's nice Who am I kissing now?

You're kissing Evan Ah yeah And Iie um and tell me about this podcast well it's don't tell me about it yeah graham will be in a soundproof booth and then we're gonna ask him to write down your answers about the last time you did podcast in the butt isn't that how the newlywed game works? Yeah, the... When was the last time you did it in the butt? Backstage. Isn't that what it is? Where's the...

No, the question was like, where's the strangest place you've ever had sex? Backstage? No, in the butt. Like in the car, but then the guy says in the butt. Right. And the wife's aghast.

Now it's time for everybody's favorite question. When was the last time you did it in the butt? That's the whole show. The newly butt game. Well, once the swimming pool got wet. Yeah, we were diving On a 10 meter board Oh lordy So the podcast

Is called The Fashion Hags Podcast Yes we are The Fashion Hags A play on fag hags And you guys You talk about Like

We are fun Fun play And sassy You guys talk about What's going on In the fashion world at large? Yeah, clothing and fashion and a little bit of sewing and that sort of thing. So anything clothing related. Yeah, the industry.

They do their research, unlike us. No, we have to prepare stuff. I did research on Michael Phelps and how he became such a good singer. That's true. B-b-b-b-boker face. good singer it's true um all right so it's me and two of my friends from fashion school how many episodes in are you we have four no three out now okay episode four comes out this wednesday yes exciting times this wednesday no we're doing every two weeks wait yeah episode Episode four comes out this Wednesday. Yes. Exciting times. This Wednesday? No, I'm just... So we're doing every two weeks.

Wait. Yeah. I guess episode four is out by the time this is out. There we go. No, maybe not. Who knows? Anyway. Anyway.

Last one came out on the second. Anyway. Every second Wednesday. All right. The fourth will be out. If you're somebody who doesn't know a lot about fashion is this a good intro yes podcast yeah we're trying we're very heavy on the comedy good because we're trying to keep it very interesting because it can be kind of boring and very esoteric and niche right we're very full of

ourselves it's very ego-filled industry so it's very seems like it is yeah so we try to cut that with a good i'm trying to make each other laugh By trying to make each other laugh Lots of dick jokes and stuff Yeah, there we go Now we're in the pocket Yeah Oh, is that a fashion? Dicks in the pocket?

Oh, yeah Well, there was that weird like mono speedo Sure Rick Owens did a show recently Where he, all of his models had dicks showing Like they just had like their shirt cocking The whole time Oh, okay

There was a whole bunch of them. Oh, yeah. Porky pigging. Yeah. Donald ducking. Donald ducking, yeah. Yeah. So we try to find relevant information about things, but also showcase just insanely ridiculous.

Oh, yeah. It is a lot of the time. Because it is like. Because a lot of times you'll see something fucked up. of the time because it is like because a lot of times you'll see something fucked up like this past episode we talked about this new mac cosmetics campaign where they based all of their new colors on dogs but that makes sense if people love dogs but not for me like no yeah graham and i agree on this one yeah we both think this is a great idea so many people in the in the fashion industry be like oh yes it's beautiful and. And you call a super fancy photographer.

And it's a very legitimate company. It's a big corporation. It's very, very respected. And people are going like, yeah, sure. Of course you would base makeup off of dogs and call it oat dogs and put dogs in the ad. Is it really oat dogs? Yeah. Like hot dogs?

That's pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. But then somebody else would be like, what the fuck? Like my mother. She's like, what the fuck? Like my mother's like, what the fuck is this? What about, now just hear me out. What about a line of cosmetics

based on all the colors of hot dogs? Not just the hot dogs themselves. I'm talking ketchup, mustard, sauerkraut, sauerkraut, corn dogs,

jalapeno green. Yeah, yeah. That's yours if a bunch of browns thanks what about there's in there a line that came out that's based on

Star Wars yeah my mom emailed me about that thanks mom is that good is that a step forward

I would say no what if it was the first and also as a woman I'm kind of mildly offended as well. It's like, well, girls like Star Wars and girls like makeup. So Star Wars, makeup.

Wow. Both of those statements are true. But what if that was the first... If Star Wars had never merchandised anything before and that was their first thing, that would be incredible. If they were like... What about action figures? No. Makeup.

Or if they got part of their financing from a makeup company. And they're like, if you guys ever do any merchandising, we get right of first refusal. And they have to work out so many product shots in. And like Darth Maul's putting on the red and black. That's the way to do the campaign. Chewie's putting on lipstick. Yeah, well, Chewie would have. He has great eyelashes. He's got mascara and eyeliner. Yeah.

Oh, he's got great eyes. Yeah. He's got a head. Does he have human eyes? It was Betty Davis' eyes. Not a lot of people know that it's Betty Davis in the Chewbacca. She's so tall. Yeah.

But like. Yeah, he has human eyes. But like the costumes aren't the actor's eyes. Yes. Yeah, they are. tall. Yeah. But like. Yeah, he is humanized. But like the costumes are in the actor's eyes. Yes. Yeah, they are. Through? Yeah. And.

It's not his mouth, but it's his eyes. It's not his mouth? Well, he's got fake lips and fake teeth. Yeah. Yeah. It's not his. I'm sure that maybe the tongue. Is it his voice?

Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I think he had it later. I don't know. I don't know if it's the same actor. Rub a stool on the ground and that's chewy. Yeah, get somebody at a bar to start a fight. Real creaky toilet seat.

There's a meme going around to that. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, well. I just want to wish everyone a happy holidays. Yeah. In this snow twinkling time. Yeah, absolutely. The snow is twinkling.

Jack Fry's biting you on the ass. Jack Fry's. Jack Fry's my lawyer. Yeah. The lawyers are nice. They named him Fry's. Let's see. What's going on with me well i already said one love one love bob marley on the court um couple of things well let's talk about one um i uh um i've like i guess i've never been great with names,

but now that I'm, now that I'm a father, there's a lot, I have to meet a lot of people like in clumps. Like you're meeting like three people at a time. Yeah. I'm meeting a mother, a father or two fathers or two mothers.

Absolutely. Or, or a mother and an octopus. Yep. And a child. And I got to know all their names all at once. And I'm not great at it. And sometimes it's six at a time.

Sometimes it's nine at a time. Oh, brother. This is too much. You know what everybody should do? Name tags. Yes. Just tattooed on, though. Oh, yeah.

And then, so sometimes Abby will tell me, oh, we're going to this party. And I talk about these names, but they're all abstract. Yeah, some of the people I've met, sometimes I've met them. So I just say these names, and Dave has no association with who's the kid, what do they look like. Yeah. And then she'll say, oh, so-and-so will be there. And then later I will bring up. So you said Crefton will be?

Yeah. Young Crefton. Rumston? Clarkston? It's always somethingston. Gromston. Gromston. Ashton.

Yep. We'll be there. And she's always like, Kyle? You mean Kyle? You mean Sophie. Yeah. And she's always like, Kyle? You mean Kyle? You mean Sophie. Yeah. And Alex. And then a few weeks ago, we went to that wedding.

Yeah. On the island. It was super awesome. And Abby went. We couldn't all go to the pre-party the night before. So I stayed at the hotel with the baby and Abby went to the party. And then she got back from the party and she was like,

Dave, there was a guy there named Karsten. Oh, yeah. I think you told me this about Karsten. That fake name you've been torturing me with for months. Yeah, it's a real person's name. Now, are people naming their babies weirdo names? Has that been your experience? There's nobody that we know that has weird shit, I don't think.

Well, something that's either something that you've never met an adult with that name. Or it's not a name. Or it's not really a name. Yeah. that name or you know like it's not a name or it's not really yeah or like because there were you know there's no katniss or there's got to be a katniss somewhere yeah somewhere but like not that we've met look but so there's been not no like yeah like weird like this is my child winter mint yeah named after products this is my daughter Retson Yeah Mostly named after Mint stuff

Yeah Tic Tac Retson Crest Get in here Xylitol Get over here Yeah

Enzident That's our dog toothpaste Enzident's not a bad name No I haven't We haven't stumbled upon Too many But the The night is young

It's funny Yeah I'm sure once we get To like school age Once we're like You're gonna run It's funny. Yeah, I'm sure once we get to school age, once we're like... You're gonna run into some kooky... Yeah. Well, I remember back in the day, good old Aunt Sheila knew a kid named Anakin. No! Uh-huh. Really?

Yep. So, not... This was when... When she had first... When she was a teacher. Okay. This was, I don't know, maybe 15 years ago, right about when Anakin came around? Anakin. Mm-hmm. Okay. This was, I don't know, maybe 15 years ago, right? About when Anakin came around? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, man.

Mannequin. Yeah, so that's what's going on with me. The other thing that's going on with me is a weird thing has been happening where I'll wake up in the morning With my arms crossed Like you're disapproving of your own dreams Yeah Like I've never in my whole life Been like stern with myself Waking up

Dave that was a lousy sleep So I'm just like wake up disgruntled I don't feel disgruntled But my body language is challenging Yeah your muscle memory. Yeah. Displeased. Like, I've definitely gone through phases where I used to wake up with my arm above my head and it would be asleep every morning.

Oh, yeah. I got you to stop doing that because when you sleep with your arm above your head, you snore. So I tried to get you to stop doing that. Oh. Yeah, you fixed me. You're welcome. That was part of your vows, right? You don't succeed.

Who's got a pretty voice? Michael Phelps. Just dance. You're gonna be okay. Sometimes when I will have like an afternoon nap, I'll wake up with my hands like in death position.

Yeah. Like I'll wake up and my hands will be, yeah, very Dracula. I'm like, how did I, I don't remember falling asleep like this. Do you ever wake up with like things in your hands? Like a glue stick? Or just like crafting stuff? You just sleep with a remote. You fall asleep with a remote in your hand

yeah yeah for a while sometimes I fall asleep with it in my mouth which is weird troubling

I would for a period of time I used to have this like futon and it was like in the couch

formation and I would fall asleep in just like the jeans I was wearing and all the change from my pocket would fall out and then it would like get stuck to either my arm or my back and then i'd just be walking around the apartment and then it would just like and i'd be like holy shit what was that those were the days.

I used to like write things on the meaty bit of my hand, like that thumb muscle. I used to write things there like bus pass, but I already get like whatever to remind myself. You can show that to the bus driver. Is this anything? Bus pass. September. Right there. And then I would sleep on my side a lot and then I put my hands between my thighs and then I would wake up

with like imprints of the writing on my thighs like the backwards printing. Dave looks very uncomfortable all of a sudden. I just folded my leg back in a way that made him fall asleep.

Dave was having a nap during that game. Dave's leg is having a nap. We're cool. We're cool. We're cool. Don't mind me. Can I be like this the rest of the show? Yeah, that's fine.

That's good. What's going on with you, Mon Frere? Do you want me to move the microphone closer to you? I'll get it back. Well, speaking of Bus Pass, this is last, on Friday, I had my only corporate of the year. It was taking place out in Langley. Oh, right.

And so. One of the burbs. One of the burbs. This is for people who don't know what a corporate is. You do a comedy show for a corporation. Yeah, and it's very big around. It's like a Christmas party. Yeah, because I sold out. Because you're a shill. Yeah, it's always very big around Delos. Because you're a salesman. Because I sold out. Because you're a shill.

Yeah, it's always Christmas parties at this time of year. It's like some company... They put on a dinner. Yeah, there's always kind of some sort of buffet dinner. Dave's now walking it off. Maybe I need to eat more potassium or something. Go have a banana. Yeah, and Abby's taking a picture.

This is all working out. So I was, and a lot of them take place out in your Langleys and your Surries and whatnot. Way out in the suburbs. And how you doing there, Jamie? It hurts so much. I'll get her back. Walk it off, champ. get it back walk it off champ walk it off there you go there you go here it is um this is what i imagine a morning radio show i know this is i apologize for the listening um so i would, I'd either like rent a car to drive out there. Get a ride with another comic or something.

Yeah, yeah. And I just, like I looked at the kind of the bus thing. I was like, I can do this on transit. Sure. So I'm going to do it. I decide I'm going to go. It's like a bus, a train, another bus, and then like a short little cab ride. Fuck.

And I'm there. So easy. Yeah. So I make like a whole night of it. Okay. When was this? This is on Friday. Okay.

And it's all lining up. Like they're all perfectly lined up. You're not standing around for 45 minutes between. No. This is like. Awesome. It's all working out. Are there other people

that are like commuting with you? Yeah, yeah. You can tell like they're making the same stops. Yeah, because they're like I was getting out at the major hubs. Oh, sure.

And like you go out to Surrey. Surrey's got a bit of a reputation as being a lot of violence and stuff out there. And so I was like nervous. I was kind of nervous. I was like of a reputation as being a lot of violence and stuff out there. And so I was kind of nervous. I was like, I don't really want to go all the way out there. But once I got on the bus out in Surrey, and it was like pretty full. And then this group of dudes that were clearly just off work at the construction site, like still in their construction gear.

Hard hats. They were all wearing hard lunch pails uh and they had also been drinking and i was like uh they were talking very loudly i was like oh this is gonna be a long bus ride and one of the guys is standing and uh like the the hand holding pole he's got comes loose and all his friends are like, ah, they're laughing at him. He's like, I'm going to fix it. I'm going to fix it. I was going to say this construction guy was about to fix it. So he's got

on his belt, he's got like this loop of wire and so he pulls out this wire and he beautifully fixes this. Like he does like an exact professional job. Wraps it around, around cuts it makes sure that there's no loose part that anybody could scratch their hands on kind of like folds it back

and i was like but he didn't break it it was broken before he got on bus hero yeah he was a bus hero and uh and so i was like well that was that was really nice i can do that so you broke one yeah yeah and then i was like watch me use my shoelace. Um, and then when I got out off the bus and I was like going to catch a cab, I was standing at like the cab stand at this casino. And, uh,

this guy next to me was like, oh man, it's super hard to get a cab tonight. Cause it's like Christmas party season and all this. And a cab comes up. He's like, where are you headed to? And I'm like, I'm going to the Langley Golf Course.

He's like, hop in. I'll drop you off on the way. And I was like, is everybody more friendly out here in the suburbs? So a cab did that? No, this was a guy. Another guy. A guy was waiting at a cab stand. And then we were talking to cab.

And he's like super friendly guy. He's like, yeah, I used to live in Vancouver. And then I was just like I just wanted to you know I wanted to have some space I wanted a yard and I was like

yeah and he's like yeah and people out here it's like more laid back you know it's not like you're not all crammed in together

and I was like I was like yeah this sounds great does this story end with you moving to a farm well it might. Well, he didn't get murdered, so I know that.

So then they dropped me off at this. And now I live on a farm. He's so allergic to everything. That's true. I couldn't live on a farm. But like, so and then I went to the corporate. I was dreading it because corporates don't, they just don't go well. You go in and the people are there with their boss and they're there.

It's mandatory. And then this is their one time to talk and they're not allowed to. And so I was bracing myself for the worst possible situation and it went great. Like they were having fun and they were like. They were into it. They were totally fun. And they were like. They were into it. They were totally into it. And they were totally friendly. And then after the show, I was like, okay, well, I'll just call a cab and start this process over again.

And two of the people from the party were like, oh, we can drop you off at the bus loop. And I was like, oh, man, like the suburbs, man. I just got it going on. This is the suburbs. Well, that would never happen in Vancouver. Nobody would ever offer me a ride. They don't even make an eye contact. They're not offering you a ride.

And nobody ever offers to split. I've never been offered to split a cab. No, people will fight for a cab. Yeah, yeah. They will not split with you. This is crazy. They'll push you in the dirt. They will not offer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we got this ride back. And then let me tell you, I was with this couple and I was getting a vibe They will not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we got, I got this ride back and then let me tell you, it was with this couple and I was getting a vibe from this couple. Oh, three way. Hey, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah. You had one. No, no, I didn't have one, but I was like,

I feel like if I really pursued this, yeah, if I pursued it, I was like, cause they were talking about, they would go to strip clubs together. I was like, well, that's not something you tell. You just talk about. Right? Nope.

Maybe in the suburbs. I don't know. I'm a city girl. I don't know, but if that's part of the suburbs deal, sign me up. Count me in. Oh, of course it is. There's all sorts of, like, wife swapping in the suburbs. Swinging and stuff. Of course. Of course, Graham. You saw the ice storm. I did.

So, guys, I'm moving to the suburbs. All right, cool. Yeah. I'm going to start a life out in Langley. Hang out at taxi stands? Sure. What would it be like? Could you rent a whole house in the suburbs?

Probably. But for what you're paying in rent now? I could probably live in like a nice, like some nice place in like the good part of the suburbs. You know, where there's stuff, you know? That you don't have to drive to? Exactly. Because I love how specific you are. But I don't know, man. I haven't had that kind of experience with people.

Like a positive interaction with a stranger? Yeah. I would say, like, not this whole year. This was the first time this whole year, and it was all in one night. And, yeah. Well, I'm glad you saved it for December. Oh, yeah. But it's like that episode of 30 Rock where, like, Liz goes to Cleveland.

Oh, and everyone asking if she's a model. Yeah, it just felt like there's something happening out here in Langley. Sure. I just never looked at it that way before. But now, you know. Well, yeah. That's all. Yeah. I'm

an elitist. How so? Well, I grew up in the city and I never learned to drive on a highway. So, I don't get how people can just transfer from one highway to another highway. Oh, it's very easy. There's all sorts of on and off ramps. You got to memorize all these numbers. What if I'm in the wrong lane?

That's it. You're going to Delta then you go off at the next one no yeah David it's very easy if I miss the turn off

it's driving right into the ocean that's it yeah exactly oh well before we move on to Overheard oh yes

every year this about this time this special season this special special season Christmas comes this time. This special season. This special, special season. Christmas comes this time each year. Beach Boys.

Merry Christmas. Top five Christmas songs. Everyone. So top 15. Mary's boy child. Jesus Christ. That's Bonian. That's Bonian.

Go ahead. What do I like? Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas performed by Ralph and John Denver. Yeah. I like Father Christmas by the Kinks. Christmas Rapping by the Waitresses. That Zooey Deschanel, whatever. M. Ward?

M. Ward is a really nice Christmas album. I can't get on that Zooey Deschanel, Mike whatever. M. Ward? M. Ward is a really nice Christmas album. I can't get on board with that Zooey Deschanel. Also, you don't like Christmas. Also, there's that. Bah. Humbug. Do you? But that's too strong.

Bah. Humbug. Somebody's got to balance it out. Do you have a Christmas song you like? Oh, I like the Stevie Wonder Ave Maria. So sad. No, I don't think I like any of the Christmas songs I mean, I think I liked them at some point And then I heard them to death

I heard a lady singing along to like It's just in a store Singing along to Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree Oh, you like an idiot That's a fun one Yeah But it's like they could just I don't know

It's like, you know know like a song that you liked and then you listen to it too much and then you're like I never want to hear that song again that's me on all Christmas or there's like one version that's good and then there's a billion

that are just awful and also having worked in at Toys R Us one point it really burned out my sure yeah coffee shops

Toys R Us any retail or anything yeah play Christmas music one year Abby and I Abby and I went to Switzerland for Christmas that really burned out my... Sure, yeah, coffee shops, Toys R Us, any retail or anything that does play Christmas music. One year, Abby and I went to Switzerland for Christmas, or maybe it was Sweden,

but we went through London, and in the... We were stuck in Heathrow for like, I don't know, four hours or something. And I would go to the bathroom, and the bathroom would be playing... They have piped in Christmas music.

Yeah, the song that was like, driving home for Christmas. It's the only line I remember. It's the name of the song. It's by a guy named Chris Rea. R-E-A. Ray. And then Abby went to the bathroom and she's like,

they're still playing that song. And then I went to the bathroom again, like three hours later. Same song. And then we went on our vacation, came back through Heathrow, still playing the same song over and over. Yeah, it's a Christmas present.

Now I gotta poop every time I hear that song. Yeah, it's Pavlovian. But what we do every year, the special, special season of giving. Yeah, the special season of giving. Same shitty face every time he says that. Great. We give the gift of gifts. Of giving.

And yes. To ourselves by giving. Graham and I do a secret Santa gift exchange. Who'd you get this year? This year, well, I pulled a name out of a hat. And that name was Graham. Yeah, and I pulled a name out of a boot. And it was Dave.

Oh, neato. And also, I brought, so I brought, that one's for Abby. What, I get the big one? That one is for, especially for Dave, and then this is for both, and also Margo. I was going to say, Margo gets nothing. No, Margo gets. What does she do this year? She gets something great.

Other than existing and being the fucking cutest kid. Yeah. And then we did did She's top drawer We did a $20 limit What am I looking at here Was it last year You gave Graham The ornament

That sang Smash my mouth Or whatever the fuck it was Oh yeah Yeah yeah yeah Some random kid Oh Yeah

Things are really Happening here Oh shit Things are really happening here. Oh, shit. I received a beautiful Hallmark keepsake ornament featuring Bella, Edward, and Jacob. Yeah. Pretty good. From the Twilight Saga. Pretty good from the Twilight Saga.

Oh, my God. It looks nothing like Kristen Stewart. No. Quite a bit like, what's his name? Edward. It's a pretty good Edward. What's his name in real life? I don't know.

Fredward. His real name is Fredward. He played a character named Edward. His brother? Jedward. Edward. The Irish twins. Crumpston.

Was it Crumpston? Yeah It was Flarpston And Graham has given me Beautiful 20 hockey cards Yeah From the early 90s

Ooh Yeah Many of them doubles Yep Many of them Oh I see Trevor Linden Many of them not doubles That are

The same player But in different Like Card manufacturers Yeah So there's many cards of former

Canuck goaltender number 30 he wore number 35 before Kay Whitmore wore number 35 oh sure Troy Gamble uh huh

there's maybe a dozen Troy Gambles in a row two Kirk McLeans a Steve Weeks and then a bunch of referee cards which I didn't know

existed I did not know that was a thing. I thought that was kind of a nice touch. Where'd you find these? I bought a huge bag of hockey cards. I took out all the Canucks ones, and then I was like, I'm just going to give them just the goalies.

And a Trevor Linden. Dave likes Trevor, so there you go. Thank you. And then we'll open this one for the family. Yeah, this one's for the family. I'm trying to hang my arm around that. I know how much Margo liked. Oh, my God go. Thank you. And then we'll open this one for the family. Yeah, this one's for the family. I'm trying to hang my arm around that. I know how much Margo liked. Oh, my God, the musical card.

Yeah. Well, it might have gum in it. It might have gum in it. Yay! It says, I originally bought you one of those cool musical Christmas cards that plays a song, but whenever you open it, but the dog ate it. Just keep going. And then I'm reading the inside.

Yep. Where you wrote, enjoy your one year subscription to Sheep Magazine. Yep. It is every two months you'll get a copy of Sheep Magazine. Boy, but there's going to be real cute little baby sheep. Yeah. It's all about raising and keeping and eventually killing. Killing and cooking.

Yeah, and eating. Cheap. Making sweaters out of her hair. Graham's a... And that musical card is for Margot to play with. Yeah. She loved the Taylor Swift one. Oh, she loved it so much. All right.

First thing up. This is a plaque that you hang in your kitchen. Yeah. It says, a messy kitchen is a happy kitchen. And this kitchen is delirious. Yeah. Pretty good. Eddie Murphy.

I know how you like to cook. I love cooking. Spend a lot of time in the kitchen. There was another one that said, never trust a skinny chef. But I thought that was maybe, you know, what if the chef is sick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, who are we to judge? Right? Don't be, be

body positive. Be Bopo? This is something that feels like hair. This is a hippie beaded headband. But it does look like hair and I thought you could just maybe hang it off your beard as like beard beads. Yeah.

No, you're not wrong. Attract some spiders maybe uh this was uh something maybe purchased around halloween time no nope just the dollar the dollar store wow always available hippie beaded headband but why is it furry why would it why yeah i don't know it's supposed to be i think faux leather oh maybe it's like a suede or something and it's just like but feel that you, maybe it's supposed to be like a suede or something. Suede-y suede. But feel, that's not. When I first grabbed it, I thought it was fake beard beads. Yeah. So that's why I got it for you. Thank you.

You're welcome. Thank you very much. And a sheet magazine. Oh, and a 16-month 2016 calendar of the Big Bang Theory. I hate. Bazinga. Bazinga to you. Bazinga to you as well.

16 months of bazinga. Bazinga giving. Oh, wow oh wow thanks yeah oh there's one more thing in there oh really oh you're spoiling oh yes dave's traditional oh yeah uh these are uh secret santa christmas coupons 2015 read a couple of those. Absolutely. Good for one shopping spree, my treat. Yeah, you're welcome. That's pretty good.

I know. This coupon entitles the bear to one big smooch. Expiration date? Never. Ride it hard and wake up the neighbors with this coupon for a pony ride and a copy of right adam's album waking up the neighbor that's based on an actual sexy coupon i saw ride it hard and wake up the neighbors

good for one sexy boudoir photo shoot at the ymCA change room of your choice. Now, does it have to be me or can be the old man drying his balls on the hand dryer? You're going to have to be sneaky because there's no cameras allowed. Oh, is there a sign that says? Yeah, yeah. A good sneaky boudoir photo shoot. Yeah, that's kind. This coupon allows you to pick out some sexy lingerie for me to bring to a feminist rally and throw it to a wood chipper. I don't know if they still burn bras, but maybe that's the thing.

Yeah, they'd probably do a wood chipper of lingerie. Maybe a whole mannequin. Sure. Good for one compliment, a real heartfelt compliment. Not something about how far you've come in the past year. Not something about how you're proving a lot of people wrong. An actual compliment. Maybe about how heaven is going to get of people wrong. An actual compliment. Maybe about how heaven is gonna get a stupid new angel

when you die. Good for one free orgasm, which I will put in an envelope and mail to you. These are fun. These are fun. Present this coupon to a bus driver and he'll be like, what is this? What's the matter with you? You're holding up the line for everyone.

Good for one. Good for you. Good for you. Good for you. There's a free one. I used it. I'll take that one out. Redeem that.

There you go. There you go. Redeemed. Good for one night out at the movies. You get to pick the film and I'm not allowed to sleep through it, even if it's that eight-hour slow-motion Andy Warhol Empire State Building movie. Where would that even be playing, you pretentious dildo? I wrote so many of these this year.

Good for one breakfast in bed. No joke. No ironic twist. Just an authentic rural Ukrainian breakfast served in a rural ukrainian communal pit this coupon is cursed oh no uh this coupon entitles you to the gnarliest bubble bath you can imagine like the bubbles are gonna be so big and juicy and you're like how is this even possible okay save, save some for right now. Okay.

This coupon is good for one Orange Julius made with whatever's handy. And finally. Good for some no questions asked hamster stuff, whatever that means to you. Maybe you get to roll around one of those hamster balls, but more likely the other thing. Oh, good secret Santa gift exchange. Oh, good secrets and a gift exchange. Oh, so many this year. Well, do you want to move on to Ho Ho Hover Hurts? Oh, how long have you been sitting on that one?

Just now. Just now? Wow. I listen to Bullseye because no show does a better job of showcasing the best creators we have today. It's like the line notes on a favorite album, but for everything in culture. It makes me happy to hear music I've never heard before, voices I've never thought to listen to, and culture recommendations that are outside my comfort zone. That's why I listen to Bullseye. You should too. Bullseye is your guide to what's good

from MaximumFun.org and NPR. Hi, my name is Justin McElroy. And I'm Dr. Sydney McElroy. We host the medical history podcast, Sawbones, a tour of all the weird, stupid, terrible, horrifying, hilarious ways that we've tried to fix people over the years. If you haven't been listening to Sawbones, you've missed out on topics like... The seasick-proof saloon. The woman who gave birth to bunnies. The unkillable Phineas Gage. The true story of Typhoid Mary. Topics like the seasick proof saloon, the woman who gave birth to bunnies, the unkillable Phineas Gage,

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What better selling point could there be than that? Every Wednesday, MaximumFun.org or wherever podcasts are offered at Sawbones. Overheard. Overheard.

It's a segment in which, you know, we hear these things. They don't have to be holiday themed, but sure, it would be nice if they were,

but they're not. We always like to start with the guests. So Abby. I got one. I was shopping at the local superstore, which is like a Walmart, but I'm pretty sure they treat their employees better. Yeah. I thought it was more of like a more grocery sure they treat their employees better. Yeah. I thought it was more of like more grocery-centric than a Walmart. It's more, yeah. Well, it's more,

it's, yeah, it's more groceries, but they have food and This is one of these clothes and suburbs and It's still within city limits. Growing up,

we didn't have any of these stores. No. These were all things you had to go to. But anyway, so it's like a grocery store, but it has clothing and tools and toys.

Is this the Joe Fresh place? Yeah. And President's Choice. Yes, and President's Choice. So I was up there doing some Christmas shopping. Yeah. So there you go. Dave, happy?

Yeah. Are you happy now? Happy now? What did I do? You asked for the holiday theme. He did. Oh, okay. Oops.

All right. Well. Yeah, Dave, are you happy now? Yeah, it's Dave. Can you not tell our voices apart? Like 80% of our listeners? So I was shopping and I'm just

I think I was probably looking at Star Wars ornaments if I'm going to be honest. Star Wars ornaments. You're welcome. Just little like lipsticks and mascaras hanging from the tree yeah yeah yeah um the star wars classic great we got first dibs and the ornaments were kind of over by where all

the magazines and books are they have a pretty decent magazine and book selection and there was three little boys um i don't know they were like seven, three, and 18 months. They're three brothers. So there was one who was just barely walking, and then a middle one and an older one. And I'm just looking around, and the little baby one keeps kind of wandering away, and the older brother keeps herding him back.

He says, no, we have to stay over here by the books. You can't walk away. And the kid does it a few times because he's just a little guy and the brother was so good at making sure the little brother didn't go away he was so sweet and gentle with him and just kept redirecting him and then the mom comes around the corner and says oh you guys are still here that's great and being being one bad mother that i am i turn to the mother and I say, your boys did a great job. I was watching them be so nice to the little brother and making sure he didn't walk away. I just want to let you know that they did a really good job.

Yeah. And you're doing a good job. And then the mother looks so surprised. Yeah. And as I'm walking away, I overhear her say to her children, oh, wow, it's so nice to hear you guys aren't little jerks all the time. Ah, yeah.

Stupid little jerks. Made me smile. I thought she was going to say, like, why were you looking at my kids? Fuck you, lady. Hey, stop looking at my kids, creep. That's our ornament. Is that because one time I was on a flight and there was a little kid, maybe like a year and a half, maybe two years old, and was just so well behaved the whole flight. But I'm like, I don't know how you pay a compliment to the parents, you know, without sounding.

Did you drug your child? Well, no, just being like, I've to say, like, your kid was incredible. Like, it was a four-hour flight. You can say just that. And it wasn't that the kid cried but was easily soothed. Soothed, sure. Yeah, it wasn't. And there was no, like, screeching or anything like that.

It was just like, I was like, wow, this kid is all right. Yeah, he's going to be a real air traveler. He's going to be a president, and they're going to let him choose all sorts of products. President's choice. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I'm trying real hard over here, guys. And then one day he can say, get off my plane.

Yeah. Just the guy from President's Choice ride around on Air Force One? Oh, no, but the president does. Our president does. It's the same. It's all the around on Air Force One? Oh, no, but the president does. Our president does. It's all the same president. If any members of the band Presidents of the United States were on your plane, its call sign is Air Force One. I was going to say, do you know one of the members of the band

is actually the president of the United States? No one knew it back then, but it was Barack Hussein Obama. Yeah. He just went by the name B.O. back in the day. No one knew it back then Yeah But it was Barack Hussein Obama Yeah He just went by the name B.O. back in the day Yeah He played like the bass guitar Hybrid thing that they had Dave, do you have an overheard?

Guys, it's an overseen I think Abby was there for it Find out But I was watching TV And I had to rewind Because I was like This is the worst commercial I've ever seen

When They show football games On the weekend Sunday usually And On our cable package We can Like I just scan through

Whatever Usually I try to watch An East Coast game Because the weather is worse Oh yeah Okay And then And we can like i just scan through whatever usually i try to watch an east coast game because the weather is worse oh yeah okay uh and then and we get like a fox channel from rochester and um then they'll play the buffalo games and we get some one detroit too yeah a detroit channel and then just a few like eastern channels that we get and they'll show different football games and they'll have ads for things we will never see like for products that we don't have here

sure or for local for businesses or whatever yeah Salino and Barnes yeah call 888

88888 what is Salino Salino and Barnes what is that lawyers lawyers yeah okay anyway so

there was this ad for a Chevy dealership somewhere out east and uh it just had this horrible animated shopping cart oh yeah named shoppy the chevy shopping cart because you know when you shop for a car you get a shopping cart a shopping cart but it had a football in it it's bad and a chevy logo on the front if you're shopping with a kid and he keeps putting cars you don't want in the cart. And then there's the guy

who owns the dealership. He's on camera. Someone throws a football into the shot and he says, Nice throw, Shoppy! That's how you learn his name is Shoppy. It's just like, I don't know, we're going to make a shopping cart.

Here are your options. A shopping cart or some kind of like swastika. Well, then I'm going to take the shopping cart. Wait, let's see the swastika. Nah, Shopee. Oh, man, Google your eyes. I'd go for the swastika. But what are you going to name the shopping cart?

I don't know, Shopee? Yeah, what are you going to name the sw cart? I don't know. Shoppy? Yeah. What are you going to name the swastika? Swasti. Swasti. Yeah. Nice throw, Swasti. He's got all those arms.

Oh, yeah. But seriously. Yeah. But seriously. Graham. Yeah. Well, you have overheard. Yeah, I haven't overheard.

It was thanks to one of the segments of that long trip out to Langley. Uh, it was, uh, two guys discussing a car they were going to fix up. Well, the one guy was going to fix it up and he was telling the other guy. And this was on public transit? This is on the train. I feel like that is most conversations on public transit. I'm really going to get a car. Yeah, I'm going to fix a car.

Gotta get a car, guys. I got a line from my friend choppy he knows where he can get a good one nice throw um and is uh the one guy was describing he's gonna fix it up and uh he said one of the parts of it i can't remember his engine or something but he said it was real cherry. And his friend said, cherry? Nice. And then, like, you could tell that the one guy thought that he meant cherry like a chair. Oh. He was like, cherry the seats? And he's like, no, no, like the engine.

Like the fruit. It's cherry, yeah. Like it's really good. Yeah. Oh, that's great. I don't know but he said cherry and then the guy

like from peewees yeah the guy was like oh cool yeah cool so you're gonna have chairs in your car cool talking chair

car chairs yeah that's something yeah I would I would definitely get caught trying to slip like something

I'd heard oh yeah right yeah oh yeah car guys talk about how something's cherry I would definitely get caught trying to slip something I'd heard. Oh, yeah, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Car guys talk about how something's cherry. Yeah. Meaning I haven't had segment as part of the car yet. Oh, the engine's cherry.

Yeah. Zoss pipe, not cherry. Yeah, the Zoss pipe is not cherry. But, yeah, that's was the That was the gist Of the overheard And now we also have Overheard sent in By listeners

No way Yeah These are sent in If you want to send us An overheard Our postal code is H-O-H-O-H-O That's

Is that only a Canada thing? I think that's only Canada I think so Yeah And you write a letter to Santa At the North Pole At the North Pole H-O-H-o-h-o and i think he writes back and says nope you can't have those things here's a crayon yeah suck it suck this crayon yeah yeah melt it um if you want to send one into us you can send it into spy at maximum fun.org. This first one comes from Dennis.

Is he some sort of man? Yeah. You know. We'll find out. I'm sure he gets that all the time. But it might also be. It's with one N. So is that still Dennis?

Denis. Denis. Salut Denis. Au joyeux Noël. Dennis? Denis. Denis. Salut, Denis.

Au joyeux Noël. He was waiting in line at the convenience store. Behind me was a dad and his young son. The son was pointing to different chocolate bars and asking his dad what they were. Finally, after naming a few different bars, the son asked, which one is that? And the dad said in a frustrated tone, it's an O'Henry. Deal with it. Yeah, kid. Stop asking me.

Stop asking me about different. I don't know if I ever. I think I just dove right in. I think I tried them all. You got to try them all. They're like Pokemon. Yeah, yeah. You got to try them all.

What's your favorite? A Pokemon? Yeah. The turtle guy? Bulbasaur. Yeah, Squirtle Squirtle Bulbasaur yeah Bulbasaur yeah okay

um favorite chocolate bar I'm happy with Pokemon okay alright you didn't say your favorite Pokemon yeah

yeah Dave oh I you know what I don't pick favorites they're all my children yeah uh also I think one of the shows that uh was on in the daytime Don't pick favorites. They're all my children. Yeah. Also, I think one of the shows that was on in the daytime,

All My Children. This next one comes from a name that sounds like a name that you would make up. Garvin. Garvston? Yeah. This is Garvin from Ireland. Oh, Garvin. Oh, it's Garvin. Well, guys, come on.

Well, she got to make fun of Dennis. Overheard this ad on the radio today. Do you remember dancing the night away to Buddy Holly or Double Features down at the Metropole? Then you might need to be vaccinated against pneumococcal disease. That's clever. need to be vaccinated against pneumococcal disease that's clever yeah like you take you down a real real memory you know down memory lane yeah back when your mustang was cherry oh yeah before i fucked it before i parked it and fucked i necked with it for a bit you pretend you made sure it ran out of gas so that the car couldn't get away?

Aww. What? Isn't that the old thing? Yeah. That you pretended that the car was out of gas? Yeah. So that you could make a move? I guess it does deserve a groan in this day and age, but back then it was fair play.

Yeah. Guys, I'm just doing history. Yeah. It's like, you know, when, I don't know. I was going to say something awful yeah there's a lot of awful history yeah exactly uh this last one comes from miguel in fort mcmurray uh overheard in the emergency room young daughter to mother uh mom how much longer is your foot going to be broken?

I can't wait until you stop walking like such a jerk. Oh, such sympathy. Merry Christmas to all. I do all stop being a jerk. Yeah, stop walking like a jerk. Oh, poor mom. Yeah. But for all we know, that mom's a jerk.

It's true. Yeah. Did you see her walk? Yeah, exactly. What if you see her walk? Yeah, exactly. What if you saw her walk and you were like, knock it off. They have a lot more walking casts these days than when we were young. I don't think I ever saw a walking cast when I was young. Do they have any regular casts for feet anymore? People, like if people have a cast on their foot, it seems like it's always an air cast.

Yeah. Like the kind you can step on. Like it's not a cast. Yeah. I don't think they do plaster anymore. I remember back in the day they had like plaster cast and you get a weird little rubber foot stuck on the bottom. You ever see those? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Whereas now they're all just like air casts. Yeah. Or those big booties. Because that is actually pretty crazy that plaster casts lasted. As long as they did. Oh, man, that's a good tongue twister. Plaster cast lasted? Little old lady got mutilated late last night.

But, like, it seems like a thing, like, you know, in Leonardo da Vinci's time. This would have been a good one. But it was in Leonardo DiCaprio's time. Yeah, exactly. From Leo to Leo. That's a good show for the History Channel. Yeah, from Leo to Leo. Or a time travel movie.

What? But we're from Leo DiLeo. Or a time travel movie. What? But we're from Leonardo DiCaprio's time. But is Leonardo DiCaprio in this movie? No. Oh, it's what he gets finally an Oscar for. Yeah, it's like a Being John Malkovich style thing about him. Yeah. And then he does a cameo.

DiCaprio, DiCaprio, DiCaprio. DiCamio. What did I do? What did I do? What did I do? In addition to overhearts that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. Do you hear those hooves on the roof? Phone calls. Yeah, now we're doing it.

If you would like to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Like these people have. No pun. Hi, Graham. Hi, Dave. And hello, guest. That's me. This is Tom in Winnipeg, and I'm calling with an overheard that I heard spoken to me directly.

So it might not be an overheard as much as it's just something somebody said to me. But anyway, I was walking through a city place the other day with a six pack of traditional ale that I had just bought. with a six-pack of traditional ale that I had just bought. And this guy kind of, like, made a beeline right towards me and got, like, way too close for my personal comfort or whatever. And he goes, like, he just gets right in there and he goes, hey, I'm a lawyer. I'll take that case.

And then he just, like, walked off laughing, and I yelled at him that that was a pretty good line. And then I laughed and walked away, too. Then what happened? That is true. then what happens? That is true. If you walk around with a case of beer, people think you're open season for hilarious. Yes. Or if you're delivering flowers.

Oh, yeah. Are those for me? Right here. Right here. Bring it on in here. Or in this neighborhood, you walk around with a case of beer and people are like,

spare a can? Spare a can. Spare a can, dear traveler. Please, sir, can I have another? The kid's drunk. Thanks for the overheard. Pick up the pace.

Here is your next phone call. Hey, David Graham and stranger. This is Andrew from Nebraska. I'm calling because I'm an appliance repairman and I was in a customer's home last week. I was working on their washing machine and they were speaking in the other room. About halfway through the repair, I don't know if they knew that I could hear them,

but I only heard the husband angrily whisper to his wife, no, I don't think they train him how to work on those. About 45 minutes later, I was finishing up the repair and explaining it to them. And finally, at the end, there was kind of an awkward pause, and they kind of shuffled towards me and said, how much do you know about custom-made massage chairs? I didn't stick around to find out. I mean, you got your tools out already.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never would have guessed that. It's just not really getting my butt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feel never would have guessed that. It's just not really getting my butt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feel this. Look at these knots. Yeah, take out your tools and work on my butt. You got anything there to loosen up these knots in my butt?

But custom-built massage chair. It's not a homemade massage chair, do you think? No. I would think professionally made. But what would you customize? Like the size? I don't know. The positioning of the...

I got a weird lumbar in my shoulders. Yeah. I've never owned anything like that. Massage. I recently got a little neck massager. It's pretty rad. It's not a vibrator for the listeners. It's like a neck pillow that has a heating and vibrates.

Like, yeah. I guess it is a vibrator. You can sit on it. I could sit on it. You sit on it. There was one that sort of shaped like a toilet seat. Like my mom used to have that look like it was like two hands. Oh, the shiatsu.

The shiatsu, yeah. And I used to just pin down my brother and put it on his face. We used to ride the ferry back and forth to school, and there were these massage chairs on it. Massage chairs. Massage chairs. And people would sit in them, not knowing that you had to pay for them. Because they just looked like big Lazy Boy chairs.

So they looked really nice. But there's like the prods are poking you as you sit in it without paying. You put a loony in it or whatever. And then a voice comes on and says, please pay to activate. And people would just sit in these things while the voice is yelling at them. And it's not comfortable. If they're not moving, it's not a comfy chair. But people will just, they don't, you know.

They think they're gaming the system. Yeah, yeah. Nobody else knew about these chairs. They're just rubbing themselves on the chair, but the chair is. Quick, vibrate me. Somebody's just shaking it. Yeah. A bunch of people posted pictures online of, like, you know the thing that you put a basket

in at the grocery store that, like, that's the thing that you put a basket in at the grocery store? Yeah. Holds the basket? Yeah, and pile them on. And there was a whole series of people just dragging around that thing as if it was like an extendo. I love it. Yeah, so people will... Are they dragging around that

with like eight baskets piled on? No, with one basket. Somebody's put a basket in there like this is for me. I'm just taking the whole apparatus around the store. People think they're life hacking or whatever. They should just be hacked to death. The opposite of a life hack. Here's your final phone call. Hi, Dave Graham, Impossible Guest. This is Julie from Southern Indiana calling in with an overheard. Go Pacers. I eat supper

every week with my 94-year-old grandma at her retirement home. And normally the things I hear there are kind of depressing and racist, but last night I heard a good one. There was a guy reading to the rest of his table off of an iPad, and I heard him say, your pants say yoga, but your ass says McDonald's. And I got a big laugh. That's a pretty good joke. Yeah. Especially because, like...

Wait. Did it say yoga on the pants? Yeah, and also McDonald's and yoga aren't, like, mutually exclusive. No, that's true. You can do yoga in a McDonald's. Yeah, absolutely. They've got a whole area, the play place. Yeah.

What do you think? Do you think that we'll all get to be racist when we're older? Oh, boy. I mean, I'm getting a start on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can ramp up. Yeah, do you think like you just are like, ah, well. Ah, well.

I'm old. Yeah. this is my this is my old right here's what I agree with some other people when they get older they just lose their filter

right either like they just don't care anymore or they have some sort of mental deficiency so they've been racist

all along they've just held it in that's what the sixth sense is about at the end he's like the director's Indian.

It turns out he was racist the whole time. Yeah, that's right. But there's a lot of old people who aren't racist, too. That's true. There's six old people who aren't racist. Yeah. Yeah. Name them.

You can't. Well, there's Morris. Yeah. Chauncey. Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton. You can't. Well, there's Morris. Yeah. Chauncey. Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton. Is he old yet? He's old.

Have you seen him? He looks old. Yeah, he's old. I bet he could still have an affair. I bet he's still got it. We're rooting for you, Bill. He's still DTF. I may be OLD, but I'm still DTF.

That's a good sweatshirt. Yeah. Well, that brings us to the end of this here episode. All ready. Oh, you guys. And Abby, you've got, of course, your podcast. Yes, The Fashion Hags. Yeah.

You can find us on iTunes or on SoundCloud. We have Fashion Hags Pod on Twitter. Are you on Google? I think if you type us into Google, we'll show up. That's pretty good. All right, cool. Yeah. You're on Google's radar.

Instagram. People are talking about it at Google. Yeah. Ooh, new listing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love that job at Google. What, new listing? Yeah, just to know, like, oh, new websites are up.

Cool. Yeah, yeah. Ooh, a lot of these are very stressful job though because there's a lot of them yeah yeah yeah no no you get you if you're just super two or three a day positive yeah like oh cool no i think i think it's like you show up and there's just a stack of files on your desk yeah these websites yeah the briefings. Well, that's why. And they each need a cover up. Well, most guests we have

are stand-up comedians and they're doing their part by never updating their website. We constantly update our site and I'm an avid Instagrammer

so you can also find me on abbychamka on Instagram so I kind of also Instagram a lot for fashionhagspodcast on Instagram and try to have funny, stupid, beautiful things.

Beautiful things. And speaking of which, your Instagram. Great shots of Margo and her chubby little cheeks. Yeah, it's a lot of Margo. It's a lot of grandpa. Yeah. But you know what? If your baby's that photogenic, you owe it to the world.

Exactly. Right? Well, thanks for being our guest, Abby Graham. Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us. Me, myself, and I. If you would like to see a recap of the things we talked about in today's episode, head over to stoppodcastingyourself.com.

Pictures and videos. Of things we talked about. President's choice. Sure. Maybe I, I don't know if I can find Shoppy the shopping cart. Oh, I hope you can. Because I, what I'm picturing is probably different than what it really is. No, you've got it.

No, really? Yeah. It's like Clippy from Word, but a shopping cart. Yeah. Oh, okay. A little bent like a paperclip as well. Get bent. And of course, to everyone listening, enjoy this special time, season of giving.

And receiving. Whatever it is you're celebrating. Don't make fun of my voice. Graham, anything going on with you? Oh, you know, it's all happening. Sure. It's all happening this time of year. Okay.

But, you know, if you like the show, it's a great, great time to leave a review on iTunes. This is it. It's also a great thing

if you want to escape your family for a little bit over the holidays. Yeah. Load up on some apps and hide in the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And just tell your family, oh, I'm masturbating. Leave me alone. I'm masturbating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just tell your family, oh, I'm masturbating. Leave me alone. I'm masturbating. They're like, still? 90 minutes. This episode's a little long. I'll be right out.

I'm just finishing. I'm just finishing. I'm masturbating. Whee! And then you have to pretend to finish masturbating. Whee! Yay!

Yabba-dabba-doo! Yeah, thanks for listening. If you like the show, tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.