Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 409 - Jessica Delisle

Episode Date: January 18, 2016

Jessica Delisle of Retail Nightmares joins us to talk Michael B. Jordan, Michael A. Jordan, and intermissions.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 409 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's chowing down on some ice cream, Mr. Dave Shumka. Here's the 411. Our guest today.

Dave's pregnant and he has cravings. Oh my god, I'm dipping pickles in it. Our guest today knows I love ice cream. Everybody knows it. Our guest today knows I love ice cream. Everybody knows it. Thoughtfully brought me some ice cream. Did not know that currently in our current recording situation, we have to stay away from the main floor of the house because there's a nanny there and it's too much for the baby. And she's got a weird virus. It's just too much to have us and the nanny there for the baby. It's all anyway. So I can't put it in the, the freezer.

So I have to eat it all right now. And it's a 500 milliliter, a pint, a pint, which this is like doing the math now. Like I cannot eat this all in one sitting, but doing the math that you could doing the math, I eat a two liter over four days. So that's roughly the equivalent of this. Yeah, you could. That's exactly the equivalent of this.

But I'm a little bummed out now because it means I don't get my evening ice cream. Well, those are arbitrary rules that you've set up. Well, the truth is

I haven't had lunch today so this could be my lunch. Yeah, that's true. So then you still get your evening ice cream. In fact, because you ate such a healthy lunch, you get double ice cream tonight. Oh, thank you. This is Ben and Jerry's Caramel Hat Trick, which is a hockey-themed, maybe Canada only. I don't know.

Or maybe they also sell it in Massachusetts and Minnesota, where high school hockey's a thing. And our guest today, she is the co-host of the Retail Nightmares podcast, and also touring musician from two bands, Jay Arner and Energy Slime, and first-time guest on the podcast, Miss Jessica Delisle is our guest. Hello. Hi. Hi.

Thanks for the ice cream. Oh, no problem. Thanks for being our guest. Thanks for the ice cream. Oh, no problem. Thanks for being our guest. Thanks for not calling me ma'am. When did I call you ma'am? No, you never have, but sometimes people say ma'am instead of miss, and it just makes me feel like a... Well, no one would do it as like a title. Well, unless you were a madam, and then, you know, and you were being...

Oh, yeah, but you wouldn't shorten madam to ma'am in a title, would you? I don't know. I'm pretty relaxed about it. We can start doing it. Contractions. Welcome to ma'am Jessica Delisle. Ma'am, yeah. That sounds weird.

Can you shorten it to an unmarried ma'am, a ma'am-oiselle? An unmarried ma'am? Yeah. That's a really fancy gazelle, ma'am-oiselle. A ma'am-oiselle? Yeah, yeah, a ma'am-oiselle. An unmarried ma'am? Yeah. That's a really fancy gazelle, ma'am. A ma'amoiselle? Yeah, yeah. A ma'amoiselle. Guys, do we want to get to know us?

Get to know us. Nobody wants to share this ice cream with me. I can't. I'll have some, but not on the air. I'll have some at the break. It's not going to make it to the break. No, it'll be like ice cream soup at the break, and that's what I like the most.

Okay. Who's called you ma'am? Grocery clerks? I don't know. People who don't look at me. I still haven't gotten sir. I get sir. But you look like a guy who could be called sir.

You've got a haircut. Yeah. Nobody ever, I've gotten dude. Or just A. When are you most likely to get sir? I think checking into a haircut. Yeah. Nobody ever, I've gotten dude or just hey. When are you most likely to get sir? I think checking into a hotel. Yeah. Or if you're a drill sergeant, sir, yes, sir.

Oh, yeah. You should just start bossing people around. Yeah, that's true. You can't handle the truth. Sir. Sir. Sir. Oh, and if you're writing to somebody with love That's to sir

If someone's writing to you not knowing whether you're a man or a woman To your sir or madam Yep Or ma'am To sir or ma'am All great examples Yeah, we really ran the gauntlet Now

A knight would wear a gauntlet And a knight gets called sure there you go hey pretty good the first thing I want to ask you about yes is in the movie Creed oh did you see it

yes I went and saw it in the theater and there's a scene that takes place it's in I can't remember the name of the venue but it's backstage at a bar. At a bar. Yeah. And Creed is going to see his girlfriend, who's a singer.

Creed, Apollo Creed Jr.? Apollo Creed Jr. I haven't seen the movie. Adonis. Adonis. Adonis Creed Sr. His girlfriend's name is Bianca. I don't think they're dating at that point, though.

No, that's true. He's just, and what he wants to be known, because his name is he shortens it to Don and then he wants to box under the name Don Johnson, which I couldn't stop thinking about the entire movie. I was like, do these guys not know that Don Johnson? This is so, the Rocky

universe takes place outside of the Miami Viceverse. Yeah, exactly. But in the Rocky movies, there is, what was the 90s show that Don Johnson was in? Oh, wow. Briscoe County? No, the one where he drove around in the car. Briscoe Dingus?

It wasn't Briscoe anything. It was called like. Johnny Briscoe? It was Briscoe Dingus. You're right. Briscoe Ding. It was called like... Johnny Briscoe? It was Briscoe Dengas. You're right. Briscoe Dengas with Cheech Marin in it? Yeah, Cheech Marin was in it. There was an episode.

I only know it because Stone Cold Steve Austin was a guest on an episode. Oh, you're going to say Stone Temple Pilots. The Stone Temple Pilots played his receptionist. I'm Googling it. Briscoe Dingus. Well, yeah. Don Johnson, that's what she turned in.

So anyways, Creed's backstage at this place and his girlfriend is in a dressing room and on the dressing room wall is a poster for Energy Slide. It's a nude photograph of myself. Yeah, which I was like, how did that sneak past the censors? She looks good for a man.

And that's your band, Energy Slime. Yeah. How did this happen? How did it happen? I have no clue. Really? No, no idea. It's actually a poster for the Mint Christmas Party,

so it has Energy Slime and JR on it. I played two shows that night. Wow. This is two shows that night. Wow. This is Mint Records. Yeah. Now I. Local indie darling.

I have seen, I think in other shows, other Mint Records bands on walls. Usually the Evaporators. Yeah. But like, and I think The Leftovers, the HBO show. Yeah, yeah. I noticed one there. I think she's like, the teenage daughter is like the noble arrow or something. So do you think it's a set decorator that likes indie music? I've done some research.

Really? Yeah. Oh, this is exciting. I went on to IMDb and found the set decorators page. And then I went through all her previous projects to see if she worked on any productions that filmed in Vancouver. Yeah. She did, but the dates don't line up. Oh, shit.

So just another dead end. Yeah. And it's weird because the label manager who does licensing and stuff will send out our posters to various local productions, and he says, as soon as I saw the movie, I emailed him, and it was out of my mind. Did they shoot Creed here? No, they shot it in Philadelphia.

Yeah, that's what. West Philadelphia. And Liverpool. Oh, really? Which are both cities that I've played in on tour, but we would not have had that poster up anywhere. Huh. Super weird. This sounds like something for Starly Kind.

I already emailed her. Okay. This sounds like something for Starly Kind. I already emailed her. My friend Sally convinced me to email her and I am not getting an email back. Oh, no? This is a great story. I have a big connection to the Rocky universe.

What's that? My dad used to look like Sylvester Stallone. He really did. People would come up to him. He worked in a grocery store his whole life, and people would come up to him in Save on Food. Hey, champ. And ask for his autograph. In the 80s. Can you autograph this orange for me?

But did people, how many logical leaps did they have to make that Sylvester Stallone would just be working in a grocery store? Hey, maybe he's a method actor training for his next meaty cop land type role. Grocery land. Bulk foods land. Now, and also one of the Rocky movies was shot here. Rocky IV. Yeah, it was supposed to be Russia. Yeah, it was shot at. Rocky IV. IV, yeah. Yeah, it was supposed to be Russia. Yeah.

It was shot at the- The agrodome. Yeah, and then also up in like Nelson or something. Oh, yeah, where he trained outside. Pulling a truck or something. No, he helps. You know what he does. I only saw one.

He helps write a sleigh that's falling over. Is it any different than pulling a truck? A lot of- Wasn't Rambo shot in Hope? Oh, yeah. And Get Carter, was that shot here as well? Oh, yeah. It was shot in Shaughnessy, which is really close to where I live.

And I watched it recently. And previous guest Morgan Brayton was in that. Really? I don't think she had a speaking role. I think all her lines were cut out. Yeah, I lost my mind when I met her. Sylvester Stallone had a speaking role. A lot of muttering.

But in the movie, in Creed, they name check Vancouver very specifically. Yeah, because his crappy son moved to Vancouver. Yeah, he's very happy. He's in Vancouver. So I was like, why Vancouver? Rocky's son did? Yeah. Milo Ventimiglia?

Previously Sage Stallone. Was he in the fifth one? Sixth one? Fifth one, yeah. Sixth one. Sixth one. Oh, yeah. He played the older one.

But he was also in the fifth one. He was also in Gilmore Girls. No, that was Sage Stallone. His actual son played. No. Yeah. And he's dead now. Oh.

R.I.P. Well, that was the Rocky V curse. Yeah. But. Oof. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what to say. I'm so caught off guard by all of this.

A child you didn't know existed is dead. Yeah, exactly. He wasn't a child when he died, so don't feel bad about it. How old was he in Rocky V? He was a teen. He was a teen. He was a shitty teen. He was a shitty teen.

Here are the Rocky movies I have seen. Rocky IV a thousand times. Rocky I. It's just called Rocky. Two weeks ago. Really? And that's it. You've never seen Rocky III with Mr. T? No.

Oh. I pity you. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Well, that's, usually when you tell someone you haven't seen something, they're like, oh, I'm so jealous. Oh, you get to see it now.

Oh, I wish I could trade places with you and get to see Rocky III for the first time. Yeah, but I feel like Rocky III is one that's overlooked. That's the one with. Running on the beach. Running on the beach with Carl Weathers. Yeah, that one's super sexy. They're wearing little half tees, little cropped. Oh, I've seen GIFs. Yeah, they

also swim a lot in that one. Is Hulk Hogan in that as well? Hulk Hogan's in it. He plays a guy called Thunderlips. Is that the one with all the arm wrestling? No, that's Overthropped. Which Rocky's that? It's in the same Rocky universe. So I saw the first rocky just two weeks ago

or maybe three or four now when my wife uh left for switzerland without me and i was home alone and i got all this time to kill yeah so i watched rocky for the first time did you cry no it's bad it's a bad movie no no no that's you Yeah, you're wrong. Here's what happens in it. He mutters to himself. Like, it's him following him around the neighborhood. He knows everybody. He's not a smart guy. But he just talks to himself the whole time.

He makes, like, C-minus jokes to himself. Goes into a pet store. Yep. Harasses. That's a retail nightmare. Like, yeah. Yep. Harasses. That's a retail nightmare. Like, yeah. Yeah. Is, for some reason,

is in love with Polly's sister. Yeah, Adrian. Jason Schwartzman's mom. Mm-hmm. And, uh, but there's, I think, there's no chemistry there.

Disagree, go on. And then at the end of the movie, they're married. They get married in the ring. Also, when he, They do not get married in the ring. When he seduces her, he just sort of overpowers her until he puts his arm around her. They're in a corner.

And she's saying, I should go. You jungle. Everything about it, it's dreary. It's very dreary. It looks like Popeye. It's got a lot of browns. He mutters to himself like Popeye the whole time. And he's not even the most Popeye

guy in the whole movie. Yeah, well, the guy the other guy, Burgess Meredith, is the most Popeye. Mr. Popeye. Are you saying Boojus Meredith and Popeye? Boojus Meredith is a punchline to a Halloween joke.

I'm not! From 1976. and Popeye. Boogus Meredith is a punchline to a Halloween joke I've been working on for 1976. I feel like this is a Berenstain, Berenstain issue. I just walked into another dimension. Is that an issue

that needs solving? The Berenstain, Berenstains? Apparently, if you're someone I'm friends with on Facebook. Who is this? Is this a specific person?

Oh, I don't know. We got to get to the bottom of this. All of them. I deleted Facebook and Twitter from my phone this week. Oh, good for you. Yeah. How is your life been affected? I just go on my computer more often.

You're like, this phone is useless now. I don't use my phone as much. No, I just didn't want to see all the David Bowie posts because it was obnoxious. Yeah. Well, it's sad. People are genuinely sad. I know, but I don't think a genuine way to express emotion is through a Facebook or Twitter post.

It's all we have. It's just that it's going to be more of that. It's not going to like, we're seeing the ascent of it. It's going to be more of that. I know. It's not going to, like, we're seeing the ascent of it. It's going to be more public. The weird thing is Alan Rickman passed away today. I know. And it's sort of weird to see how people react to that, like, so soon after a giant celebrity like David Bowie.

You're saying Alan Rickman is not a giant celebrity. Not as big as David Bowie. My mom is heartbroken. Really? Yeah. She's a big Alan Rickman fan? Big time. And also, there's just been a lot of, in the last two weeks,

there's been a lot of very famous character actors. Yeah. Have all just been dropping off. The mayor from Ghostbusters? Mayor or police chief? Yeah. And also, Lemmy from the Lemmy movie. The mayor from Ghostbusters? Mayor or police chief? Yeah. And also there. Lemmy from the Lemmy movie.

Yeah, from the Lemmy movie. Yeah. Great character actor. But you're just going to see more. And you're also going to just start to see these like really famous people who have been famous since the 70s starting to die. Yeah. Like that's, we're just coming up on that time.

Oh, I know that we will all die one day. I know, but like we have a celebrity as it is today hasn't existed that long. So like people 50 years ago weren't going through this. But also people just drop dead

all the time back then. Yeah. But like, I think Dave, like, can you imagine how big it's going to be when like Mick Jagger dies

or Keith Richard? You don I don't give a shit. You don't, but millions of people do. You'll be wanting to delete Facebook from your computer. I will. I might just. Hey, you get onto my cloud in heaven. R.I.P. Mick. Have you pre-made any of your tributes yet?

Yeah, I've got them all in the drafts folder. That's the thing. When I deleted Twitter from my phone, it deleted all my drafts. You're like, oh, there was some good stuff in there. They were going to come back. There is, in news media, all of these obituaries are pre-written. So it's like it's somebody's job to go through to write obituaries for people who are

still alive and then to update them like over the years and I just found this out a couple days ago Creed whose son

Don Creed yeah Don Johnson Creed I thought you were talking about the band Creed yep yeah when they all die they all murder suicide

murder suicide suicide suicide they all just murdered Scott Sapp and killed themselves. He died with arms wide open, just like how he lived. He lived in his own prison. When the queen dies, there's a law on the books that the BBC is not to broadcast any comedy for two weeks following her death.

Great. I don't understand, but that's the law. Apparently, like, the BBC goes on. None of that. You'll have to go on your computer. That's why you've got that Benny Hill box set in case. Well, they do behind a glass pane. They have a dramatic episode.

Yeah. Yeah. Where they play that like a funeral dirge. Yeah. That, when Benny Hill died, that's how they. Yakety sad. Yeah, it was yakety sad. Thank you.

Yes. Well, I'm glad we invited you on the program. You're already paying off. Yakety sad. Yes, please. So we don't know how that poster ended up in Creed. No, the label manager did not send that one out. He didn't approve that poster to be in any production.

So it's a mystery. But it was like, it's not something that we had to kind of like squint to see it. Like it's right there. Jay saw it in the theater when we were watching it uh my boyfriend jay and he grabbed my arm like i thought someone was gonna shoot every time i go see a movie in the theater now i think this is gonna be one of those times that someone murders everyone in the theater yeah i thought that the last i went and saw hateful eight and i was like yep this is the one yeah this is the one where it's gonna happen i don't like seeing movies in the theater because of gun violence.

Yeah. But we live in Canada, so it's probably never going to happen. Yeah. We only have muskets here. High five. Sorry, I took it a little dark. You've been taking it a little dark. It's a little teacody sad.

So aside from that mystery, what else is going on? You guys, in the band, you guys went on tour for like... Years. Yeah, for years it felt like. You went all over the world, right? We toured extensively in North America and we went over to the uk and did a bit of touring there and we're going to be doing that again this year are you excited for that or yeah i love touring yeah it's great and when you get the right mix of people to tour with you know what what

position do you play i'm uh left field i don't know sports i couldn't make a sports yeah goalie is always so safe i was trying to think football football, and I was like, quarterfield man. Yeah, quarterfield man. Woman. You play. I play synthesizer. Keyboard. Yeah.

You know my hits. Yeah. When you go tour the world, how many, do you need to bring like a bunch of adapters? Oh, when we went to England, we had to get a power converter. Good question. Great question, Dave. Made out of, I think, solid iron. It is the heaviest thing.

We didn't rent a vehicle when we toured in England. We just took trains everywhere. They call it the loo. The tube. The loo tube. Might as well be. It's stanky. No, we took, when we were in London, we just took the underground everywhere except when we got there.

Did you run the gap? No. I lived dangerously. I mangled my feet. No, there was a tube strike as soon as we got there, so that was fun. So then how did you get around? We just carried our stuff a lot of places and really hurt our backs. There's no drummer?

There was a drummer. Oh. I mean, we didn't take a drum kit with us. Oh, okay. But you had to carry your synthesizer everywhere, yes? I bought a light, yeah, and when you fly with your instruments, you have to take hard cases, which are much heavier than gig bags. This is really interesting.

No, this is interesting, because I don't know any of this stuff. Well, no one cares about the crowd in Liverpool. They were great. Did you play the cavern? We played a pizza restaurant in Liverpool. Really? I loved it. I loved their pizza.

So like, wait, was, is it a pizza restaurant that's known for bands? Yeah, they've got a back room that plays shows. Is it a Beatles-themed pizza place? No. Sergeant Pepperoni's? The pizza was amazing. They had pizza wrapped around sausages. Okay, so what is that?

A pig in a blanket pizza? Pizza, yeah. Well, they had meatless sausages, which I was into because. Of your lifestyle. The UK is big into meat. All bangers. As you know. Too many bangers in my mouth.

I can't handle it. Real banger party. That's what they call it when no girls show up. Yeah, we just carried our shit around. But heavy adapter. What was your favorite place to play in America? Marfa. What's Marfa?

Marfa is in Texas. And what was so good about Marfa? It's like an arts enclave. Yeah, it was established by Donald Judd, who was a sculptor. Okay. Minimalist sculptor in the 70s. Yeah. He started a place there called the Chianti Foundation, which sort of brought all these artists there.

And it's just a tiny town. And ate their livers. It was all a big ruse. Tiny town. And ate their livers. It was all a big ruse. They shot some of There Will Be Blood There and No Country for Old Men. So it sort of looks like that. Right.

They have that fake Prada store. Yeah. Beyonce went there. Marfa. Marfa. I don't know. How do you not know that? I don't know.

There's a lot of things I don't know. It's just really. And you played inside a pizza restaurant? No, but there is a pizza restaurant. They do you not know that? I don't know. There's a lot of things I don't know. It's just really. And you played inside a pizza restaurant? No, but there is a pizza restaurant. They have a pizza restaurant there? In Marfa, there's one main intersection, and at the corner it says Contemporary Art Gallery and Pizzeria. On Friday nights, they make pizza there.

Wow. It was really good. It was like thin crust, New York style. Yeah, but in weird shapes in a pyramid. Yeah, minimalist sculpture. Yeah. But in weird shapes. Texas style. Yeah. Minimalist sculpture. Yeah. Minimalist pizza. The best part about Marfa is El Cosmico, which is a sort of glamping campground.

Okay. Glamp ground. Tell me more about whatever that is. It's fancy camping. I don't like normal camping. I don't like roughing it. But you can rent trailers or yurts there. Okay, alright. And they have shows there, and we've

played there a couple times. In the campground? Yeah. In a yurt? We didn't play in a yurt. Do you need a power adapter for a yurt? Yeah. It's made of twigs. They've got an electric blanket in there, so it's nice and cozy. That's real nice. Do they make electric blankets still,

or were they like Banned with like Lawn darts in the 70s Aren't they a super Big fire hazard What's a lawn dart Lawn darts were It's what they used

To call cigarettes Yeah Nail coffins Nail coffins Uh oh Yeah that's where You're naked When you trim your nails

Why did you do that Like you were British Where they call them Faggots over there No one uses that Just Homosexuals Oh just fags Yeah Okay you're British. Where they call them faggots over there. No one uses that. Homosexuals. Oh, just fags?

Yeah. Not faggots. Call them cigarettes. That's a bundle of sticks. Oh, like the guy from the Zeppelin album cover. What is that? He's carrying a bundle of sticks. Oh.

I don't really like Zeppelin. I hate Led Zeppelin. Oh, I just love their album covers. They're great until the singing starts, and then I just, nope, turn it off. Not for me. Well, I was going to try to bum you out by telling you that Robert Plant died, but. Don't give a care. But all of those guys are going to die really soon, right?

Like, it's going to be like the next couple years it's gonna be what is it gonna be like classic rock guys like when keith richards dies oh that's never gonna happen but it's gonna be like oh hey everyone's gonna make a joke like it's weird he made it this long that's i don't think that's a joke all right are you to get to the other side. Oh. Oh, you know, he made it classic joke structure. So metaphysical. Why did... That joke...

Have you thought about the real meaning of that joke, man? Still not a joke. What, the chicken? Like he's crossing over to the other side? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. Dumb. It's a fine joke.

It's the first day... Wutty joke, isn't it? No, no. I get it. It's dumb. It's a fine joke. It's the first day. Woody joke, isn't it? No, no. She came here with an attitude. She thinks she knows everything about jokes. What's your idea of a good joke? Why'd the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Why?

In case he got a hole in one. Well, that one's just a classic. Yeah. That was my favorite joke from when I was six. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, I should have brought my joke book, Tyrannosaurus Rex.

It's all dinosaur-themed jokes. Oh, yeah. Is Rex spelled W-R-E-C-K-S? Yeah, and it's two dinosaurs crashing cars made out of logs. It's gold. Why were they driving log cars? Because of the Flintstones, right? Yeah, basically.

But they're not the Flintstones. It's a terrible book. There must be 200 jokes in it. And it's all puns about bog. It's like, what type of house was Dinosaur Abraham Lincoln? A bog house. A bog cabin. Yeah, bog cabin.

Dave. Come on. Sorry, I was so excited. I'll lend you the book. Thank you. Research. Why is it all? I guess they were bogs. Someone who wrote it knew maybe three things about dinosaurs.

Yeah, Tyrannosaurus Rex, bogs, extinct. Yeah. Yeah, why did the Tyrannosaurus Rex throw away his socks? Because they extinct. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Okay, you could write the sequel now. Dave, what's going on with you man um who's uh uh tyrannosaurus rex's favorite bounty hunter pog the bounty hunter

no he's fallen out of favor because he's isn't he like a racist or woman beater oh he's yeah he's not a good guy. He's a little columnate. He's going to die soon, for sure. What are the obits going to be like when Dog the Bounty Hunter? They're like, oh, he's going to go hunt some angels in the sky. Oh, yeah. Think of that.

Because whenever a musician does it, it's like, oh, they're jamming up in heaven right now. Jimmy and Janice. Yeah. The worst band. Yeah, Kurt. So, Dog the Bounty Hunter's going to go serve papers to some angels that got away. Yeah, to Kurt Cobain and Janice Joplin. Or he'll go to the Pearly Gates.

It's going to be one of those New Yorker cartoons, only it's going to be like several pages long because he goes to the Pearly Gates and they're like, we have mission for you you have to go to hell and get these people that's i think that's like already a comic book it's gonna be a zine it's gonna be a supplemental zine in the new york times the day the dog the bounty hunter died yeah i work at the new yorker zine edition supplemental zine this is a photocopied hand folded staple. Yeah. Oh man. The most prestigious

Xerox in all of New York. It's the twee-est newspaper. Really. Oh boy. Here's what's going on with me. Not only did I see Rocky for the first time.

Uh huh. Another thing I saw for the first time was this movie starring Michael A. Jordan his royal airness Space Jam. Oh

okay. I've never seen it. Never seen it? You never saw it? I've never seen it start to finish but I've definitely I know the high points I didn't see the whole thing. Wayne Knight. I only saw the very like last half hour. Okay. With the high points. I didn't see the whole thing. Wayne Knight. I only saw the very last half hour. Okay. With the big game.

That doesn't count then. You didn't see the movie. Look, I saw enough to talk about it on a podcast. Fucking podcast police right here. Look, I saw four hours of Rocky. That could have been summed up in 20 minutes. There. You've seen Rocky. You're a waste of life.

That's Mickey. What does he say? He says you're a waste of life. Ouch. It's harsh. It is harsh. Tough love. I guess.

Then he squeezes a can of spinach. Yeah. Sucks it through his pipe. Yeah, through a pipe. It is harsh. Tough love. I guess. Then he squeezes a can of spinach. Yeah, through a pipe. Yeah, through a pipe. With his thighs. So, yeah, this Space Jam movie, it's not a good movie. No. No. Really?

No. It's a movie for kids four and up. It seems to be celebrated to this day. I think by people who were kids when they saw it. Wasn't it just to sell a bunch of sneakers and shirts with Taz dressed up as a rapper? Yeah. It was. Taz Van Rassel.

I don't know how it got made. Like, I don't understand what the... Because the thing is, it requires Michael Jordan, a man who has never acted, to act by himself and react to cartoon stuff going on around him. And react to cartoon stuff going on around him. That would probably be easier than real human actors, because then he would realize that he's like, oof, I'm out of my league. So he's like the Bob Hoskins of the frame of Roger Rabbit. So it's just him. Wayne Knight is there at some point.

Bill Murray's in it at one point. Yep. Sean Bradley, the enormous Mormon. Yeah, isn't... Charles Barkley. Patrick Ewing. Scotty Piven? Muggsy Bogues. Please name some more sportsmen for me that I don't know.

Oh, Fuggs McGlug. Yeah, Briscoe Dingus. Yeah. But I think it's because they made, uh, like before space jam was the thing that I made a bed. No, there was an ad with Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny in a,

in a Nike ad. And so they were so popular that somebody was like, let's turn this into an entire film. So it was a film based on an ad that they had made. Wow. That's as much as I know about. I know a lot about the soundtrack. Yeah, what's on it?

I'll tell you something about the soundtrack. The Monstars song, Hit Em High, which featured a collection of rappers, LL Cool J. What year did this come out? 1996, I want to say. So it's approaching a 20-year anniversary. Yeah. Missy Elliott's on the soundtrack.

It was an all hip-hop soundtrack. Yeah, yeah. It's all hip-hop. Spin Doctors is on the soundtrack. Oh, they're hip-hop. Well, it's Spin Doctors with Biz Markie. You really know a lot about this. I wrote an article about it for CBC Music.

Was this the first, was that the first rap-rock collaboration? No. Did they invent new metal? The best genre? Wasn't rap-rock invented by the Aerosmith Run DMC? Yeah, it probably was. And then perfected on the Judgment Night soundtrack. Yes! Everybody knows that that's where it came into

its prime. But it also features the song Pump Up the Jam. Yep. Which, we've realized that Margot, our baby, her favorite genre of movie is early 90s, like, dance

rap. That's her favorite genre of music? early 90s dance rap. That's her favorite genre of movie? Of music. I was like, name some of these films. House Party 1. House Party 2. So, yeah. No, that's her. She loves Pump Up the Jam.

Yeah. Is that Technotronic? Yep. Yeah. Way to go, early 90s kid. She loves Can Up the Jam. Yeah. Is that Technotronic? Yep. Yeah. Way to go, early 90s kids. She loves Can't Touch This. You Can't Touch This. Yeah.

She loves I Like to Move It, Move It. That's a good song. These are all songs that could have easily been written for kids. Yeah. She loves Finally by CZ Peniston. But none of the songs have anything that kids couldn't hear of course not yeah well like if mc hammer released at all kids album that would be fine it wouldn't take a lot of work to uh get up the song yeah to get up his his catalog i know i haven't bought any of

these but i noticed they have it'd be like you You Can't Touch This about sugary foods or poisons. Or fire. Yeah. Just a song about fire safety. Yeah, sure. They have in kids' stores for like, you know, where you buy your baby on board stickers and cribs and stuff. Yeah. They have like CDs of like Elton John, the kid versions.

Oh. Eagles. Rocket baby. For kids, yeah. I don't know. I have never bought them. I don't know if they have different words or if they're just all done on- The bitch's back is still on there, though.

Well, yeah. Yeah. It's about a female dog. Or if they're all done on glockenspiel or something. Oh, so cute. They're all lullaby style. Yeah. I don't know. I have no no idea i didn't know that was a thing i didn't know that was a it's a thing it's a big thing buddy um there's always talk about a space jam sequel even though um michael jordan is i got

michael b jordan now which by the way according to google if, if you Google it, they're related. They're not. But if you actually click on their Wikipedia pages, they are not. Yeah. His dad was a florist. But when you Google Michael B. Jordan, it says, other people search for Michael Jordan, his father. People want it to be true. Yeah. But. Famous golfer, Michael Air Jordan.

Yeah, famous golf gambler. He played golf, right? Who? Michael Jordan. Yeah. Yeah, he plays. He'll play in a celebrity competition. Didn't he play baseball, too?

Yes. He even plays baseball in Space Jam. I know about sports, guys. Yeah. But I feel like. He played baseball too? Yes. He even plays baseball in Space Jam. I know about sports, guys. Yeah. But I feel like he played baseball. He was starting to get pretty good at it. Too good at it. I think if he had kept acting, he would have won an Oscar.

Oh. Because he's just got the work ethic. He would just. He acted well in those underwear commercials. Yeah. With the Hitler mustache? Yeah. He's been in. Hanes? Is he a Hanes man? in those underwear commercials. Yeah. With the Hitler mustache? Yeah. Is he a Hanes man?

Hanes air. He and Larry Bird used to have these great commercials for McDonald's where they would be betting on fries. Two of the richest men in America. Trying to make the craziest shot. Oh yeah, right. Nothing but that. Pro the craziest shot. Oh, yeah. Right. Nothing but that.

Pro gambling fry commercial. Yeah, that was weird. In light of the rumors and truth about his tragic life. But he, why did he make Hanes commercials? Isn't he like super duper rich? Do you think Hanes doesn't have money to give him? He just loves the product. He's like, I got to get the word out about these Hanes.

Makes my butt feel great. That was the tagline, I think. Hanes, they make Michael Jordan's butt feel great. Only his butt. Especially engineered for his butt. No one else's. They feel terrible. I'm wearing them now. Early 90s

men's briefs. I'm wearing them too. They're saying, they have a little robot noise that says, wrong butt. We reject your butt. These were meant for one. One and only one person's butt. His royal airness, Michael B. Jordan's dad.

Did Michael B. Jordan, a legitimate actor, have to change his name at the B because Michael Jordan was in Space Jam? Definitely. Or did he put the B in there because he knew it would get him callbacks because people thought Michael Basketball Jordan? They're like, well, I just want to meet him. And they're looking up like, oh, you're much shorter. Everyone does that take when they meet him.

That's why he goes into auditions sitting. Sorry, guys. He scoots in like a dog. Just on the ground. He scoots in on his butt like a dog. Hey, guys. He's in an office chair. Just on the ground. He's in on his butt like a dog. Hey, guys. Sorry, I hurt my ankle playing sports.

Doing a jump shot. And I saw a dog doing this, and the dog seemed to get around fine. Well, what's going on with you? Oh, boy Well, speaking of seeing movies I went and saw The Hateful Eight in the theater This is a lot of theater work for you lately

Yeah, I know Did you see Star Wars? No And I won't Well, I probably will But I'll just wait until it's just me in the theater. You want to go with Alicia and I in February? Yes.

Okay. Yeah. It's a date. Groundhog Day. So I went and saw The Hateful Eight because I guess it's like a thing that Quentin Tarantino picked specific theaters to have this 70- 70 millimeter? Yeah.

So we went and saw the theater this like 70 millimeter yeah so we went inside the theater that has 70 millimeter most of the movie takes place in one room so i don't know why 70 millimeter was oh but what a room yeah i mean it's a pretty big room but like it's not like there's tons of shots of the great outdoors or anything that would require a huge. There's no great train ride. No. There's no Dr. Zhivago. And most. Yeah, most of the.

Your favorite movie. Oh, I love it. How many times would you say you've seen Dr. Zhivago? I watch Dr. Zhivago. I set an alarm every morning for 3.30 so I can watch the whole thing before everyone wakes up. And then by 10 a.m., you're exhausted. Isn't it three and a half hours long? I think it's four.

It's got an intermission. Well, yeah, I take an intermission. Yeah. I play the overture. Yeah. So that's what happens during the Havel 8. There's an overture at the beginning and then there's a 15 minute intermission where the lights come up

and everybody like Oh, it's Ennio Morricone did the music, right? Yes. Yeah. It's pronounced Eric. Eric Morricone. Eric Clapton.

So, he'll die soon too. Oh, sure. Absolutely. And then, oh my God, the tears in heaven will be blasting

from every ice cream truck. Do you think anyone's like, oh, they're up in heaven. Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Eric Clapton's kids. Oh, man. I'm not going to laugh at that. I refuse. He's on the kazoo or the recorder. Oh, jeez, you guys.

No, I'm not. Look, she took it too far. It was a kazoo talk. That's what kids play. This episode, it should have all sorts of trigger warnings. Totally. Haynes' discussion of Michael Jordan blood. Hey.

Lots of gallows humor. Anyway, so I loved the intermission. I loved it. Yeah. Every movie that long should have an intermission because. You're going to have to pee anyway. Yeah. And it was like they timed it very like nicely plot wise.

Is it over three hours, this movie? Yeah. It's like three and 20 or something like that. Baked in a pie? Yeah, baked in a pie. Yeah, 420. And yeah, so I don't know. I just love the idea of an intermission.

I don't know why they don't do it in other movies. Should they do it in shorter movies? Yeah. Short films. Yeah, short films. Three minutes,? Yeah. Short films. Yeah. Short films. Three minutes. Intermission for 15 minutes. Yeah.

And then you get to decide if you want to go back and see the rest of the three minutes. Music videos. Oh, yeah. Well, TV has intermission with your commercials and such. Would you rather they have commercials in the middle of a movie? Yeah, I'd be fine with that. So you could go to the bathroom? Yeah.

That's how I watch movies now. If it became a commonplace thing to have an intermission, they would just put commercials in. Yeah, and I'd be fine with that because I'd just be out in the lobby doing some beatboxing for a change. Those games where it's like, take out your phone. Which Jim Carrey movie was he the Grinch in? The Mask. Oh, no, wait. He was Grinchy in that.

He was Grinch-like. Well, he was green. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. He was smoking. Do you... I go to movies so rarely that I'm always caught off guard by that, like, whatever trivia thing. It's terrible.

But, like, I never, I always make a mad dash to download the app. Really? Want to be a part of it? I got to sign in? But the questions now aren't even, they're not like trivia questions. They're like polls. Oh, yeah. And then you're trying to guess which side of the pole will be higher.

It's like a first-year science class where you have those little button presser things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I didn't take science in university. Button pressers. Joysticks? What are they called? I don't know.

I don't know what you're talking about, really. Really? Yeah. So I sat in on one of my friend's math classes and it's like 150 people in a class. And instead of doing participation, you buy this little thing that has four buttons and the teacher will put a question up on the board and then you answer A, B, C, or D. Right. And then you get your participation mark that way. Oh, just by pressing.

Yeah. You could just send in, you know, like a dipping bird or whatever to just hit see all the time. Or give your friend, like. Here's 10 bucks. Yeah. Go in class and just press the button when he asks. Basically, yeah. Here's my button thing.

That's why science is weird. Yeah. That's why I got an arts degree. But yeah, so intermission during movie. Uh-huh. Excellent. Uh-huh. but yeah so intermission during movie excellent and the other thing I did this week

that I haven't done I would say in at least 10 years is I went skating oh I thought you were going to say

skinny dipping oh like in Rocky yep I went skating with Sylvester Stallone he's quick he's quick

for somebody his age. He doesn't go skating, though. He only gets one pair of skates for Adrian, and then he just runs beside her. Oh, yeah, that's what he did at the rink with me. Really meaty hands. He held my hands the whole time. I was like, you're slowing me down,

because he was wearing these kind of high-heeled shoes. Kinky boots. Yeah. Sheerling jacket. But it's, when was the last time you went skating? Boy.

Oof. I would say probably ooh, arrr, arrr, arrr, shagadella. 10 years,

baby. Two years, Austin Powers. When was the last time that Austin Powers was in the theater? Here we go. That's when he went skating.

Here we go, baby. Shagadella. No. Okay. Shooing, baby. Jessica's having a breakdown. Yeah, baby. I can't look at you.

What? What voice am I actually doing i don't know yeah baby swing it swing it swing it i'll tell you what i'm doing it's burgess meredith as the penguin that's what i thought i was like it it's Batman somehow. It's Batman adjacent. Oh, man. Think how the internet's going to go crazy when Burgess Meredith dies. He's already way down. This is pretty good.

Fun gag. So, Lester Stallone's the same age that Burgess Meredith was in the first Rocky and Creed. Fun trivia. Is that true? Yeah. That's why he's- And Mark Hamill's older than Alec Guinness was in the first Star Wars. Oh, yeah.

Really? Yeah, because Alec Guinness, how old was he in the 50s or something? I don't know. I didn't click on that. I know that he hated it. I know that he hated being in those movies. Yeah, he was really slow in it. And yeah, and he was like, I can't believe I'm like with Beboop the robot.

Like, I don't think he even bothered. Like, learning the character's names. Yeah, Beboop the Robert. Yeah. Harry the Giant and Beboop the Robert. Oh, this might be wrong. But do you know that in Spanish-speaking cultures... Uh-oh.

Wrong, like, morally or ethically? No, no, just factually. Okay. That R2-D2, they call him Little Arthur. I love that. Because they think it's... It sounds like the name Arturito. Oh, okay.

Or Arturito, which is like a diminutive form of Arthur. And in our cultures, it sounds like Adorito. Yeah. So that's why we call him Chip. Fun. So 10 years ago, probably you went skating. Have you ever been, Are you a skater? I've been skating.

I don't know. I think I went when I was about 21. Yeah. So eight years ago. However many years ago. Eight years ago. Well, nine. Except my boyfriend at the time fell right in front of me and his skate slashed my shin.

What? All the way up. It was. Jesus Christ. This is why I can't watch figure skating or hockey because I'm always afraid that someone's my shin what all the way up it was Jesus Christ this is why I can't watch figure skating or hockey

because I'm always afraid that someone's going to get a skate to the face I'm reacting the way you reacted to my awesome powers do you want me to do awesome powers

yeah yeah yeah go ahead no swing it baby where I draw the line swing it baby I love gold love guru I'm a whole lot of woman Beyonce Swing it, baby. I love gold.

Love guru. I'm a whole lot of woman. Beyonce. Beyonce. Although I have, I rollerblade every week. Yeah, that's true. On the seawall. No shirt.

You got a rollerblader's body. Thank you. But yeah, I was like, in my head, I was like In my head I was like Super confident That I'm like I know how to skate Oh When's the last time you went?

Like 10 years ago Did you need to push One of those little Yep I got the I said Give me the adult version Of the

Whatever It's called A chair or whatever They're made out of metal though I feel like you could Hurt yourself more No they're made out of plastic The ones when I was a kid

Were metal Yeah They're plastic now guys okay um but uh yeah it at first it was very much like watching a deer try to skate like legs going everywhere damby came back though Yeah. It's like riding an icicle. But yeah, it was and I gotta say tons of fun. I don't know why it's been 10 years since I last went skate.

I didn't have a horrifying accident that kept me away. Do you have all the skills? Like, can you skate backwards? I can't skate backwards,

but I can do I can do a triple axel, triple lutz. I can do a triple axle, triple lutz. I can do a barrel roll. Salchow? Yeah. I can do a cartwheel. Can you do an ollie?

Yeah, I can do an ollie. I can do a daffy duck. Okay, do you ride Goofy? Yeah, I can totally ride Goofy. Okay. Yeah. And, yeah, so tons of fun. Yeah. And yeah, so tons of fun. Yeah.

I advocate anybody who's thinking, should I go skating? Go for it. When do you think you'll go next? Probably in a couple weeks. I enjoyed it that much. Whoa. You got a season's pass? Well, I might.

I might. I enjoyed it. That's where they get you. Yeah, exactly. And these are rental skates? Oh, yeah. And these are rental skates? Oh, yeah. And, man, I forgot. Like, do you remember when you would go skating,

and then you would put on, like, take off the skates and then put on your regular shoes, and they were so comfortable after? Oh, yeah. Oh, man. That's like, there's no other feeling like it. Because you're wearing skates, they're so rigid, and then you get on your shoes, you're like, ooh.

I would get them with ski boots. Yeah. Ugh. Yeah. So clumpy, walking around clumpy. But then you get on your shoes. I would get them with ski boots. Yeah. So a little clompy walking around. But then you put on regular boots and then you just feel like you're lighter than air. My favorite thing after skating or I used to play hockey or skiing is when you take off the skate or boot and you peel the sock off the top of your foot. Oh, yeah.

And it leaves all that mark. Oh, damn. You could get a custom knit sock that would spell something backwards and then you'd ask someone to marry you by showing them your weird sweaty ankles. Yeah, and it's just an outline of Michael Jordan

winking at you. Michael Jordan's butt with a ring on it. Yes, that's the famous Michael Jordan silhouette. Wingspan. Buttspan. Michael Jordan's butt with a ring on it. Anyway, so yeah, that's what's shaking me with me.

And, you know, having a good time. I'm Shagadelic again. And do you want to move on to overheard? No, I want to move on to a tiny bit of business. Oh, business. Okay. Life can be fun. Don't get carried away.

You got to do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You got to shine your shoes. You got to sweep the floor. You got to clean your house. You got to do some more. Take care of business. Gotta clean your house, gotta do some more. Take care of business.

This week, the podcast, this podcast, is brung to you by RadioFreeRiverdale.com. Now, this is a podcast hosted by Evan Munday and fellow bumper Lucy Capiello. It's a new show about the world of archie comics this intrigues me each week evan and lucy choose an issue from the archie library and discuss the best and worst and weirdest stories it's a funny and thoughtful look at the riverdale gang through the decades through the decades is what really gets me because even if you get a new issue they'll have old sure there'll be a there'll be a thing where archie's driving a car that has a raccoon tail on the antenna. I think he maybe even still drives that car. Yeah.

But it'll have bell-bottom issues, and they'll have very weird plaids. And then sometimes sideburns. And then he'll just have a smartphone. Yeah. And then sometimes Reggie will have smartphone Yeah And then And then sometimes Reggie will have his hair Like totally Like brushed down

Yeah In the The war years So visit RadioFreeRiverdale.com That's RadioFreeRiverdale.com To listen to the episodes

And check out The Riverdale Auxiliary A selection of images From that week's issue Want to get back to the episode? I sure do. Overheard style? Mm-hmm.

Open Gangnam style. Oh, brother. Let's be honest. We live in a world with too much media. You need a podcast on the front lines figuring out what's great. We're here for you. We're Pop Rocket. I am Guy Branum.

I'm a comedian. I'm Wynter Mitchell. I call myself a digital strategist. I'm Oliver Wang, academic and disc junkie. Margaret Wappler, je suis as journaliste. And we watch, listen to, and read everything so that you don't have to. And then we tell you about all the things that you'll love to love. Find us in iTunes or wherever you download podcasts.

Pop Rocket, every Wednesday from MaximumFun.org. Hi, I'm Brian Safi. And I'm Erin Gibson. And we host the Throwing Shade podcast. Pop Rocket, every Wednesday from MaximumFun.org. that no each other that's true although we have each been divorced three times overheard now it's time for overheards a segment where we overhear the things and then we talk about them here on the podcast and we always like to start with the guest jessica would you do us the honor of marrying mich Jordan's butt and Austin Powers? No, he's not welcome there. Why not? Do you need me to break down the reasons why Austin Powers is bad? No.

Well, I guess so. I'll fight you on it. Let's go. Arm wrestle. Look, I think Austin Powers is very good. Just was a little driven into the ground. Yeah, that's true. By people.

You know, same with your Borat. Yeah. At the time, real fun. By people and by sequels. But if we were to go back and watch the first Austin Powers. I think you'd like it. I don't think there'd be anything left for us. He pees a really long time.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I can just listen to any of my friends pee. Will it be as funny, do you think? No, it's always awkward. It's like, why do you pee so loud?

But that, the great thing about Austin Powers is it relieves that tension where you want to listen to your friends peeing. Because it was made in a time when

walls weren't so thin and you couldn't hear everybody peeing. Yeah, yeah. It's really groundbreaking. Yeah. It was really like it's a time travel movie where he goes to the past, but really

it's telling you about the future. Yes. So poignant. This was a film major. Are we done with overhers? I am. Yeah, I've said everything I want to say. You have one? Yes. I do. It's an overseen.

I'll allow it. Thank have one, yes? I do. It's an overseen. Uh-huh. I'll allow it. Thank you. This comes from when I was on tour. Mm-hmm. I was in Pittsburgh. Steeltown. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. We were playing at a venue that was... It was also a pizzeria. I wish. Oh, wow.

No, it was a art space slash music. The equivalent in Vancouver would be Little Mountain Gallery. Okay. Because they had a noise curfew. So we were rushing to get there. I think we were coming from Philadelphia. City of brotherly love. City of Rocky.

Yeah. I ran up those stairs in Philadelphia. Did you really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Didn't Jay send you a picture? Yeah, that's true. Sorry I said it.

So we're driving to get to this show in Philadelphia. We get there a little bit late. Pittsburgh. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Pittsburgh. Thank you.

We get there a bit late, so there's already a band playing when we're loading in. Mm-hmm. It is. Were they squatters? Does that ever happen? That a band just, oh, this band's late. there's already a band playing when we're loading in it is were they squatters does that ever happen that a band oh they're this band's late let's take their spot uh yes but that's another story it was a band from italy playing and it was an experimental flute and electronic band so there was a guy playing flute and then a guy with two laptops and i walked in and i was just loading my gear in and i didn't know what was going on and then i looked over to the audience and it was just a boy and a girl sharing a jar of milk that that all tracks that all makes it

like with two straws just like holding it with two hands. Like a mason jar. Giving it back and forth? Yeah. Wow. Wow. Real romantic. What did you do on Friday?

When you say a boy and girl, children? No. Okay. Two twee adults. Twee adults sharing a jar of milk. Two adults. At a flute. Experimental Italian flute electronic show.

Oh, I love it. And then we were expected to follow up. Yeah, how do you follow that? And there was also a noise curfew that we didn't know about, so we had to play really quickly. Just played everything double time? Get out of there. Or just play it quieter.

That's how punk was invented. Oh, we got to get... Super fast. Yeah, two just play it quieter. That's how punk was invented. Mm-hmm. Oh, we gotta get... Super fast. Yeah, two, three, four. Yeah. Judy's a punk. First punk song. Yeah.

That's the name in the song. Yeah, but it wasn't originally. It was Judy is a pretty girl, but they had to truncate it to punk. Actually, Judy is a frump. When they wrote Judy is a punk did they write it

after Sheena is a punk rocker or did they just go through lists of all their friends people they know and whether they were or weren't punks they were all punks

their favorite punk ladies Gerald is a punk that's how you write songs their oompa punks songs oompa dee doop why is oopity Doop worse than this

Fuffa Magoo Goo or whatever they say this character is a guy who's never heard a Ramone song how is

Gabba Gabba Hay worse than or better than Oopity Doop you went Gerald is a punk Foo-ba-dee-doop like Frank Sinatra.

No, sir. Foo-ba-dee-do. Yeah, explain yourself. They were taking Frank Sinatra tropes and just speeding them up. Because they had to get out of there before a noise curfew. That's all they did. They took old-timey music and then did it faster. And it's sort of like half-hearted

background vocals. Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine is also an overseen. This also happened while I was waiting for my passport to issues to get done. It was the morning I went to the passport office before I went

back picked up my brother and we saw Star Wars. But while I was driving home from the passport office before i went back uh uh picked up my brother and we saw star wars uh-huh uh but while i was driving home from the passport office uh i was just driving up it was a it was a monday so it was a work day and uh there was a guy jaywalking i had to story i was gonna he had to stop jaywalking because i was driving and as as he stopped jaywalking, I noticed that he was shaving as he was jaywalking. With an electric razor. Oh, yeah. Not with, like, foam.

Oh, man. I love, because I know a couple people that have to shave throughout the day. Uh-huh. And. Wolfman? Yeah, like, they're crazy. Like, their five o'clock shadow is like anybody else's full beard. So, around one o'clock in the afternoon, very casually, even, like, during conversation,

just bust out the electric. Yeah. Just start taking care of business. Wow. I love it. I love it. I love it. Well, you shave every day.

I do. You're one of those guys. Yeah. I shaved at seven o'clock this morning, and look at me now. You look great. Thanks. Well, you shave every day. I do. You're one of those guys. Yeah. I shaved at 7 o'clock this morning. And look at me now. You look great. Thanks. Well, he's a swimmer.

Yeah. That's why. Yeah. Full body shave. He shaves it all. But I don't compete. I just like swimming. Yeah.

And I like being wind and water resistant. Now that you skate, you can just let it all hang out. Yeah, that's true. I'm going to start wearing leotards and the like. Yeah. Get Abby to make you one. Yeah, that's a good idea.

That's a good idea. That's a good idea. I'm from the Ramones. Fa-ba-da-ba-doo. Here we go. Roger is a punk also. I'm from the Ramones. Fa-ba-da-ba-doo. Oop-ba-dee-doop. Here we go. Roger is a punk also. Oop-ba-dee-doop.

Oof Ramone. Oof Ramone. Yes. Oof, no. My. Overheard. Oh, why don't you go ahead? I will.

I was at London Drugs. Everything you want in a drug store you bet and uh i was at the uh i guess like the customer service desk you were returning a lathe i was buying a compass card oh for your transit needs and uh i was behind somebody who had returned something, I think, for the second time. And the woman at the desk said, oh, let me just, I'll just call the department and see if they have any more of whatever this thing was. And then I heard the woman on the phone describing, she goes, can you tell me if there's any silly putty left? Comes in an egg. It's red, there's goo inside.

I was like, yeah, that's exactly how I would describe silly putty to somebody. Can you tell there was goo inside from the packaging? Or did you just see the egg?

You just see the egg. Yeah, so that would be a good description. Red egg, and then, but if there were two red eggs, you'd bust one open. Oh,

this one's the one with the goo inside what's the other red egg? those egg pantyhose yep whoo

good save from Mad Men? yeah no from the 80s yeah from the 80s do they not make those anymore? I guess

maybe pantyhose aren't as big a thing I don't think I was wearing pantyhose in the 80s were you? Yeah, everybody was. Mostly to rob banks. With a big seam up the crotch.

Oh, yeah. I was the only one of our bank robbing gang that wore them on my legs. Everybody else was like, Graham. You did see them in the 80s. Yeah. I feel like it would be, but you don't see them anymore so like there's probably guys who grew up and got that developed that as like a fetish yeah it's like a sexy thing and now they can't find it anywhere yeah well i mean they still sell pantyhose but who will wear them oh uh

you know uh tipper gore oh sure, sure. That was way too fast. Then you pulled her out of thin air. Liddy, Liddy doll. Barbara Bush. Just politicians wise. Yeah. These are some of your big pantyhose supporters.

Uh, support host. Oh, fun. Oh man. I got support host in different area codes. Fubidi do. Um,

now we also have overheards sent to us from people around the world. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. And this first one comes from Jill E. in California. Hi, Jill. Glad you could write in to the show. Yeah. Thanks for taking the time. An older gentleman walking into the CVS,

which is like a drug store? Yeah. CVS. With a small child, probably about four years old. Okay. The first thing we need to find is a nose trimmer for Betty. Is this the four-year-old child talking yeah i assume the first thing first things first betty's nose hairs are getting out of control i hope betty's

an imaginary friend or that that's why in uh the movie clueless they call people Betty because of their control. Yeah. Hmm. Um, I tried, I worry. I'm getting to that age. What? 69. I'm 69.

We're at the age where British people die. Yeah. Um, and I'm getting, uh, uh, mostly ear hair. Oh, what am I to do about that?

Shave it off. Shave it off. Turn into a wizard. Can I to do about that? Shave it off. Shave it off? Turn it into a wizard. Can I just, like, wax it? Yeah, you can wax it. Get an ear candle. Get a candling. Oh, okay.

Get some kindling. Burn it off. Yeah, there's ear hair trimmers. I think burning it off is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That way it takes longer to grow back. But the new stuff that grows back Is better for the environment

Yeah and it's It's Afraid When it grows back But it's been warned This next one Uh huh Comes to us

From Cal Uh huh In Melbourne, Australia Hi Hi there Cal Good day Good day. Good day.

Keel. Keel. Sorry. Keel. Pronounce Keel. My wife and I were out shopping for clothes for me, and I was looking through a rack of shirts when I heard a bit of din from the children's section. Love it. Adjacent to the men's apparel.

I looked over to see a kid in tatty jeans and a Batman logo t-shirt, his arms folded across his chest and a surly scowl across his face. His glare was fixed on his mother, who was gesturing towards a large poster on the wall. On it, a young, smiling boy posed with his hands on his hips as he showed off a collared shirt, blazer and slacks the mother said see look at him he doesn't look stupid does he no he doesn't he looks handsome oh man why can't you be more like that photograph yeah that's the son i want oh when i when i go in to get my haircut yeah I bring a photograph of the outfit that I want to be wearing, too. And see if the barber can do that for me. You say, make me a handsome boy.

Make me this boy. Can I be a real boy? That was really well written. It was really well written. Yeah. Yeah, congratulations, Kill. And this last one comes from Ed in, I guess, Vancouver, because he's talking about Abbott Street. Cool.

I was walking down Abbott today. And a man was standing there holding a pair of unboxed woman's shoes and showing them to passersby. They were in really good condition. As I walked by, he yelled loudly, but at no one in particular. Wow, look at how good these shoes are. I want to buy them. People continued to walk by. He muttered a bit.

Then he yelled at the same volume. I wish people would get their heads out of their asses and get a load of these shoes. That is good salesmanship. Oh, I think these look really nice. Yeah, me too! I'm a lady, but they're not my size.

Do you have any other ones? I don't know. Are these the kind that go on your feet? So there you go. Overheards. That's it for the show, everybody. No, Dave.

No, no, no. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328.

Oopity-doo. Oopity-doo. Loopity-doo. Like these people have. Hi, guys, and fan-favorite guests. I was in a doctor's appointment in the waiting room, and I heard somebody speaking very loudly on their phone, and they said, to be fair, he's only walking around

because I didn't let him have a funeral. That's pretty good. Bye. Wow. You're a weird meta threat. If you don't start behaving, I'm not going to let you have a funeral? I'm going to kill you. Funerallessly.

Is that about a Frankenstein? Is that about a Frankenstein? Or a Frankula? A Frankula. What's a Frankula? Dracula Frankenstein? Or a Frankula? A Frankula. What's a Frankula? Dracula Frankenstein monster. Is it? In what?

Yeah. How does this work? They've brought back a dead Dracula? Yeah. Oh, they Frankensteined a Drac. Yeah. Oh, that's really good. Oh, yeah.

Have they ever made a movie about Franken a Drac? What did you call it? A Frankula? I call it Franken a Drack, but that's what... Or Drackenstein. We can have competing productions. Well, they call Frank and a Drack is what they call smoking in England. But they have...

I'm going to go Frank and Drack over the loo. Over point. Frankula and Drackenstein come out in the theaters months within months of each other people at first are like what is are they just

going to keep making these movies one is way better received than the other yeah one's the prestige yeah

one of them ends up being Paul Blart mall cop mall magician one's the prestige one's Paul Blart my two favorite

films because there was two right mall security movies that came out One's the prestige One's Paul Blart My two favorite films Cause there was two Right? Mall security movies That came out at the same time Seth Rogen Observe and Protect Observe and Report

Report Yeah and then The Prestige What was the other Prestige? The Illusionist The Illusionist Never saw it Dante's Peak and Volcano Man

Yeah White House Down and Olympus Has Fallen Oh yes Yeah man yeah uh white house down and olympus has fallen oh yes yeah breakfast club and brunch buds sure armageddon and armageddon it by def leppard almost never talked about BrunchBuds. That was actually, it started off as an Archie comic. Jughead stars in BrunchBuds.

Very short. Take that, PopTate. Here's your next phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Jeff calling with an overheard. I was just on the New York City subway on New Year's Eve. I heard a middle-aged guy saying, she thinks I'm obnoxious.

She stabbed somebody. And then a little bit later, I just think stabbing, I just think it's rude. It is rude. Happy New Year. But if you're going to assault somebody, it is the most personal way through a stabbing. And it's also.

Or a strangling. Yeah. But stabbing, it can, there's a way for it to be rude, but I feel like there are rules around cutlery. Yeah, that's true. Always put the knife on the right. Yeah. With a spoon. Yeah, and use the right knife at the right time.

Yeah, that's right. If you stab somebody during the dessert course, you have to stab them with a spoon. Aw. Aw. I just thought of Alan Rickman in Robin Hood when he talks about carving his heart out with a spoon. Oh, yeah.

It takes longer. R.I.P. Is he the one that says cancel Christmas? I don't know. In Die Hard? No. It's in Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Is that the one?

Prince of Tides. Yeah, Prince of Tides, right. With Nick Nolte as Robin Hood. Yeah. When that movie came out, I convinced a friend of mine when Prince of T movie came out I convinced a friend of mine when Prince of Tides came out that that was the first movie that Tide had made. It was like a corporate

detergent movie. My friend was like, no way. And I was like, it is. If you stay to the end of the credits the Tide logo comes up at the very end. And it stars Dick Trickle. He's a race car driver who was sponsored by Tide. Oh, wow.

You said you didn't know sports, and then you pull out Dick Trickle. Don't get me started about NASCAR, boy. Why do you have NASCAR knowledge? There was a promotional cutout of Dick Trickle that had a little button that you could press and it would say something in a grocery store. Oh, I'm trickling again. Get a napkin. I have to remember everything to do with Dick Trickle because it's the greatest name in the world. I, at the greatest name in the world. I, um,

at the Home Depot in Vancouver, uh, Where, what store was this at? The grocery store? Yeah. Okay. Save on.

In the Tide Isle. My dad works there. Was it in the Tide Isle? Uh, I think it was right up at the front. Uh, in the,

uh, Home Depot here in Vancouver, they had, uh, what's his face? Tony Stewart drove the Home Depot car in Vancouver, they had, what's his face? Tony Stewart drove the Home Depot car. Like he was actually there? He was there and he was doing autographs.

And like there's a huge lineup of people in Snap-on-Tools hats, Snap-on-Tools jackets to see him. In formal attire but there was also a like on the other side of the store a coke machine that just had him

like a cardboard cutout but inside the coke machine just it was a one off coke machine with Tony Stewart in a Home Depot race outfit and so

so weird so I made Abby take my picture with it. Here's your final overheard of 2016. Hi, Dave and Graham. I have an overheard for you. I've been waiting two years to call this in. Oh, my God.

I'm just finally drunk enough tonight to call it in. Okay, so I was on the bus headed downtown, and there was this suit guy. Well, they're both shulby guys. There's one shulby guy, and then there's a suit guy. And they're talking about buying lottery tickets. And the suit guy says, yeah, I'm going to buy myself a lottery ticket ticket get myself out of this gutter of a life and then he inquires the sloppy guy saying so what do you do for a living and flubby guy says oh I buy and sell Walkman and Dispon and slowly our

suit guy says you're a tech salesman a Walkman and Discman. And Slobby, or Soup Guy, says, ah, you're a tech salesman, eh? Yeah, I believe you make your own luck fixing Discman's walkman. I thought at first

she said Soup Guy. Yeah, Soup Guy and Chatter Guy. I thought it was Shaloub-y guy. Yeah, I thought it was

Shoulder Guy. Tony Shaloub and a soup guy. Oh, yeah. Boy, the monk himself. Tony Shaloub and the soup guy, the soup Nazi, I assume, kind of look the same. Oh, yeah. A little bit. Oh, yeah.

Hairy dudes. He's a guy who probably would have like a big five o'clock shadow situation. Oh, right. I'm sure they always had to stop production of Monk. We gotta shave Shalhoub. That was my memoir, shaving Shalhoub.

His hair grows through the makeup. They're like, well, that doesn't look right. It's growing between takes. I think it looks just right. Oh, Lordy. Well, Jessica, thank you very much for being our guest.

Your first time on the podcast. Thank you for having me. Now, you have your own podcast. I sure do. It's with co-host Alicia Tobin. Co-ghostin co-ghost co-ghost thank you Dave

yep Retail Nightmares is the podcast you can get it on iTunes yep and do you have any other things you want to plug?

people can follow you on Twitter because you just deleted it from your phone yeah I still use it I just don't read it fair enough yeah I'm Chimo-licious on Twitter Twitter because you just deleted it from your phone. I still use it. I just don't read it. Fair enough. Yeah, I'm

ChimoLicious on Twitter. C-H-I-M-O-L-I-C-I-O-U-S C-H-I-M-O-L-I-C-I-O-U-S Because I thought that was a good idea. Yeah, you're allowed to change them. I know, but I'm married to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're Mrs. ChimoLicious. I do. yeah, yeah. You're Mrs. Chimalicious. I do. Yeah, baby. Not Mrs. Chimalicious. Yeah. Well, if you're lucky, Mr. Chimalicious. I'm mad. Do you think that Mr. Chimalicious is out there for you?

Yeah. Is there a Mr. Chimalicious? I think I found him. Yeah. And he's already working on his Michael Jordan jordan butt engraving i hope he is uh i'm also on instagram sure fine who are you on instagram energy slime okay just also that's the name of your rock ensemble is the name of my uh side project band but the real band that i'm in is called jay arner which is just a man's name.

Yep. But it also has other people. And what a man, right? What a man. What a man. Mr. Chimalicious. Yeah. Yeah, as my boyfriend Jay, he's got an album that's going to be coming out.

Yeah. You're going to be on that album as well. Yes, I'm on it. You're going to be playing a lot of battles with bands, open mics. No. Yeah. No. Yeah. Never. You're going to be opening

for a flute laptop combo. Hopefully. They were really good, actually. I forgot to. Milk Jar from Italy. Yes. Leche DiGiaro. Close.

And yeah, thank you for listening to this podcast all the way to the end. If you would like to head over to MaximumFun.org, you'll see a recap of today's episode featuring pictures and videos of things we talked about. Space Jam. Dick Trickle. Dick Trickle for sure. Michael Jordan and the Hanesnes commercial prince of tides get a picture of his butt you just get a picture of all these dudes but yeah well that's easy it's the internet um and uh yeah if you like the show you can head over to itunes leave a review

it says hey i show it's all's all right. And thank you so much for listening, and come on back next time for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.