Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 411 - Debra DiGiovanni

Episode Date: February 1, 2016

Comedian Debra DiGiovanni returns to talk about sleeping on a plane, Gilmore Girls, and escape rooms.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 411 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who, oh geez, how would you describe this man? He's above average height. He's, I would say below average weight. He's lean. He's mean mean And he lives green

Mr. Dave Shumka I am like The lightest I've ever been as an adult Really? At the moment Good for you And I do not know how Because I eat

500 milliliters of ice cream Every single day And then you know what I balance it out by doing a plank You should You should You should put together a book, Dave's Ice Cream Diet. Ice Cream and Plankin'. Thumbs down from our guest, returning guest, one of our faves, Miss Debra DiGiovanni. Hello.

Hello. Number 411, what, what? I'm so sorry That I did that Off the top Right away Do you see I've ruined it already

No it's fantastic It didn't even occur to me The 411 It's the 411 It's the information Oh my gosh Fun Fun

I could only think of The band 311 And how this isn't it Why You should have also I would like to add Bespeckled You never get to use The word bespeckled.

Bespectacled. Bespectacled. Yeah. Oh, bespeckled would mean you cover with specks. Yeah. Bespectacled. Yeah, that's a good word. I could take my top off.

Are you speckled? No, I'm speckled. Oh, good. Bespeckled. Like a little egg. Just little bites. Little bites from little mites. Well, that sort of counterbalances the ice cream situation.

So, by the way. That's it. Maybe you're losing fluids overnight from bug treating you. Well, there we go. Do we want to get to know us? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Get to know us.

When was the last time you were on? It was like. It was two years. Two years ago? I would say two years ago. I don't feel like it was last year, was it? I don't... I can't remember.

I mean, either, guys. I feel like this is my fourth time, but once was with Darcy Michael. So that's three and a half times. Yeah. Three and a half. 3.5. 3.5. After you were on with Darcy, we went four years without having him on.

Yeah. That's right. That's how we do it. He thought went four years without having him on. Yeah, that's right. That's how we do it. He thought he was really cool for a while. Yeah, yeah. Still does. Still does. Trust me.

And so you're back in town. You're doing the comedy club. Sure. Why not? Why not? And you're still in Los Angeles. I'm still in Los Angeles, which means Vancouver is so much easier now. What an easy flight. Why don't you just come up here for rest and relaxation?

Yes, this is the new plan, right? Yeah. Absolutely. Because it's just, there's no time zone change and everything. Very good. We'll see you at Easter. Yeah. Yes.

Canada Day. Oh, my gosh. Spend your big American dollars up here. Right. Please. But I got the cheapest flight too. Oh my goodness. WestJet?

Like $246 return. Wow. What? That seems illegal. Oh my God, they're probably going to phone me tomorrow and be like, that was another $100.

Yeah, that was too cheap. You're right, that was a mistake. Are there hidden fees? Give it back, we'll find out, won't we? I think you have to hide them. Yes, like really hide them.

Yeah. They're under your seat. What? Oh, good. Everyone look under your seat. Some of you have $500 fees. And some of you have an Easter egg. Were you on one of the WestJet flights that doesn't have the TVs?

Oh, yeah. Okay. Are you pro that or against that? For a short flight, I'm okay with it. I sleep on planes like no problem. This is how well I can sleep on a plane. I once had an attendant as I was leaving touch me and go, you really slept. Oh, thank you.

Everyone was talking about it. You know what I mean? That's not a good. I'm just like, yeah, thanks, bye. We were all just watching you sleep for a while. Very soothing. Have you ever fallen asleep in like a, what's the most embarrassing situation?

Or just plain. You know what? I only will sleep, I don't believe in sleeping in public. I really don't. That I'm always very impressed with people that have the confidence to sleep in public. I do it all the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like where? Like on a park bench. I'll fall asleep. I'm totally fine with it. Could you sleep like in the lounge as you're waiting for a flight? Would you like stretch out? Oh, no.

I would never take more seats. I would worry that I would miss my flight. Or something, you know. It just makes me nervous. But on planes, I am good to go. I'm also one of those passengers in a car, too. I can't help it. something, you know, it just makes me nervous but on planes I am good to go. I'm also one of those passengers in the car too. I can't help it.

Oh, you fall asleep? I'm asleep. I'm like, what? The radio, hello? I can't hear you. Were you sleeping

through Adele? That's illegal. In England. It is. That would have been cool. You know how she did that thing with James Corden when she got in the car?

Yeah. If she just fell asleep in the car. That would have been amazing. know how she did that thing With James Corden Yes When she got in the car Yeah If she just fell asleep That would have been amazing I'm just You know when I sleep I fall asleep in cars The tone of my voice Futs me out Oy

Um Yeah I'm a Have you ever had that On a flight Where you fall asleep And then they've Left the food for you

No Oh that's the best Because you wake up And there's just a tray Of food sitting there Breakfast in bed Yeah you just start. So someone went to the effort to unhinge the tray as well?

Yeah, yeah. I once had a corporate show, Fly Me First. So I'm going first class and I slept through everything good. Oh, no. And I was just, I'm just going to sleep for a second. And we touched down. I was like, can I get it to go, please? Can I get Sam to go?

Yeah, throwing the lobster tails away. Oh, no. Can I get your fancy go, please? Can I get salmon to go? Yeah, throwing the lobster tails away. Oh, no. Can I get your fancy toiletries? Right? I was like, oh, I want everything that I missed, please, right now, in five seconds. Whip a hot towel at me. Pour the hot pot, pour coffee into the hot towel, wrap the salmon in it, and I'll take it to go. I once was in, like in high school, people would be jerks and like pretend to sleep or try to sleep in class.

And they would literally put their heads down on the desk. Come on. Once in university, a guy in the front row fell asleep and started snoring so loud. It was the greatest. That's impressive though. That's deep sleep. But even it was just like that airplane sleep where he just nod no he just nodded down closed his eyes and then oh no uh there was a kid in uh junior high who i don't know that this ever happened but this dogged him his reputation that he fell sleep in

class and he was a real star trek nerd and when he was, when the teacher woke him up, that he woke up and said, shields up. Amazing. Amazing. And I mean, that deserves to follow him. Yeah, it followed him through. Like, I think even when we got out of junior high, it followed him, jumped over to high school. Because you pass that on. You don't let that die.

You're like, sorry, kid. I once, when I was about probably 10, I once almost killed my cousin because she wouldn't let me sleep. Like, I remember putting my hands around her throat. I thought this was going to be a story just like completely unrelated. Yeah. I remember putting my hands around her throat. I'm not lying. She wouldn't let me sleep.

And I was just like, I can't stop it. I almost killed her. I almost killed her. I can understand that instinct. Right? Yeah. Even at 10, I was like, no. No, I need sleep. I almost killed her. I almost killed her. I can understand that instinct. Right? Yeah. Even at 10, I was like, no. No, I need sleep.

I need my sleep. When I was a kid and we would go on family vacations a lot of time, if we stayed in a motel room for a night, my parents would be in one bed, and then me and my brother had to share a bed, and he would kick and punch. What about your other brother? Where was he?

One of us always had to sleep on a cot. Oh, yeah. And that's always when the hotel's just like, oh, brother, we should charge for this. Well, because it's going to be the loudest room. Yeah, and also they bring up this cot that I think they just like. It's from the army. It's actually from the army. Yeah.

They're not kidding. Seriously. Seriously. And like getting the cot was primo because you were the only one in the room that got your own bed. But then my brother, he would. Yeah, moment dance. Suckers.

Sharing a bed like jerks. Sharing a bed like the Bradys. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And oh man. Yeah, my brother would thrash. And yeah. He had the Jimmy legs. Yeah. Oh yeah,. Yeah. And oh man. Yeah. My brother would thrash. And yeah. He had the Jimmy legs.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Sewing machine foot. Oh yeah. When we would go on vacation, we would always have to, we drive everywhere because we have such a big family. So we could only go places that, you know, we can, you know, realistically drive to.

And so we'd be in the big station wagon. And I still, to this day, I get car sick. I get all the sicknesses. I get seasick. I'm a motion sickness person. So my mother would give me gravel, you know, and knock me out.

And I definitely remember like waking up with a blanket over me while my family ate at Howard Johnson's. They're inside the restaurant. I'm in the back of the station wagon with a blanket over me. Good one. The 70s were safe.

They were safe times. You mimed that the blanket was over your head, though. Just my head. Body was showing. My body was showing. Take her at your own risk. Surprised to see what she looks like. Oh, no.

Oh, how horrible. And that's really, that's just the tip of the iceberg of the family. But anyway. Big family? How many siblings? Seven of us in total. We've got five kids, mom and dad. Wow.

Yeah. That's, you don't see a lot of them. Yeah, but you know what? One of my sisters has five children. Yeah. How is that? Who? What?

Huh? I mean, you'd think after growing up with five kids, you'd be like, no. Yeah. I mean, me and my twin sister used to dream about, what if it was just the two of us? That was one of our favorites. Either they weren't born or they died. We didn't really go into specifics. Yeah, because where are you on the... I have two older sisters, and then my twin is also eight minutes older than me, and then I have a little brother.

So it was you and your twin saying this? Yes, yes. Because this is, I would say this with my siblings. I'm the youngest of four and they would be like, well, actually, Dave, if anyone wouldn't exist,

it would be you. Technically. Oh, yeah. Do you think mom and dad would start having kids at 38? Exactly. Just maybe. The modern family.

Oh, yeah, right. Station wagon. It's seven people in a station wagon? just maybe the modern family oh yeah right station wagon seven people in a station wagon yes because you know what happens you go mom and dad in front

three in the middle and two in what we call the back back yeah that's what we called it get in the back back and you were facing the wrong direction

that was always me and my brother were there seatbelts or no you were just you were just sitting in a cooler oh pretty much.

We just held on to each other. Oh, God. I hope you have good grip strength, Michael, because we're in trouble. We, yeah, it was like, I'm imagining wood paneling on the side. Oh, God, yeah. What was it? Caprice Estate or something? I don't know.

Even just the name Caprice, right? It's like. Because I know people in the, by the 80s there the volvos had the back yes yeah yeah and then of course minivans yeah we had the toyota van that had the the two they were called pilots chairs in the middle and they could move like you could lock them forward or backwards and if you were facing backwards it was like oh you can play cards with the person facing forward behind you oh that's. Or you could just get cars. Usually went for the latter.

But then we all then would have grown up in a time before televisions in cars. Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. Which now seems insane to have a car and a kid without a television. Yes. It's like, wow, kids, this is what's wrong with the world right now. I mean,

honestly, like we had to like sit quietly, like we had to learn to sit quietly and, you know, entertain yourself,

read. Yeah. God forbid. Or just stare out the window. Or fight with your siblings. Sing along to a song. Yeah. Listen to the same

Paul Simon album over and over. Do you know what? Actually, oh my gosh, I'm having a small a song. Yeah. Listen to the same Paul Simon album. Do you know what? Actually, oh my gosh, I'm having a small flashback. Okay. You know what my dad did for years and years? When we would be usually on the way home from wherever, you know, it always had to be dark. My dad would pretend that he was tuning the radio. And he did a, like, it ran for years.

He did a mystery radio show for us for years really? yes they'd hear it's coming in and he would do commercials and stuff for years and years

he did that wow that's amazing it was pretty good actually I'm just really just remembering oh yeah my dad was Mel Blanc

my dad was but it was it was pretty great I mean I would Mr. Livingston and his assistant who solved all the crimes but I can't remember her name now yeah and it was it was pretty great. I mean, Mr. Livingston and his assistant who solved all the crimes, but I can't remember her name now. Yeah, and it was terrific.

Wow. They went on for years, and they would continue and stuff. He would remember? He would remember, yeah. Oh, he wasn't making them up off the top of his head? I think he was making them up off the top of his head. Oh, okay. Yeah.

And then my sister Erica also was the storyteller. She always, like, over Christmas or whenever, like Easter, a night that we'd all sleep in the same room. And Erica would tell stories. She told a Christmas story that same family and it was on a little girl. What was her name? I think it was Patsy and she had a dog named Firecracker. And like seriously. And that was, it went on for years.

And I always thought like, I always thought Erica would be a performer because she was so great. She also used to make up all of our games. Like whenever we'd be playing outside. She's the second eldest, but she was loud and brassy. And we used to play Charlie's Angels. And Erica, I was Kelly Garrett or I wasn't playing. Just know that. Know that.

Which one's that? Jacqueline Smith or Debra's Out. Do you know what I mean? And Erica would always be Charlie and she would make up the mysteries. It was good. Wow. So that this ran in the family. I think so, definitely. But would it be like

she'd make up the mystery, they're like, oh, this will keep these jackasses busy for half an hour so I can go smoke cigarettes. That came later. But this was definitely like, we were all between like the ages of like eight and 12

and there was a neighborhood like gang of us, bunch of girls. We'd play on Mr. and Mrs. Carol's front lawn because they had a big lawn. Yeah.

Yeah. And the neighbors were like, what are they doing? Like Charlie's Angels. I mean, it was, yeah.

Yeah. I remember, oh, like that age where everyone in the neighborhood was Mr. or Mrs.

Yes. Yes. Mr. Gonzalez, Mr. or Mrs. Yes, yes. Mr. Gonzalez, Mr. or Mrs. Payne down the street. Yeah, we weren't allowed to run on the Devonshire lawn. Right? There was always one neighbor that was like, no kids. Yeah. They had kids. They were in their retirement years.

They were big into their lawn. They were very like Hank Hill, like perfect lawn. Oh, but the temptation to run on their lawn. Yeah. They were very like Hank Hill, like perfect lawn. Oh, but the temptation to run on that lawn. I remember there was one old neighbor that used to tell us to play in traffic, go play in the traffic. Thank you. Old man.

Thank you. And this was Tilsonburg. There was no traffic. There was no traffic. Nice try. Yeah. I can't remember the last time I called someone Mr. Something.

Right. Except in like a letter, like a cover letter. Oh yeah. For a job. But don't, I can't remember the last time I called someone Mr. Something. Right? Except in like a letter, like a cover letter for a job. But don't, I still like if I meet like a friend's parents, I go Mr. Oh, yeah. I will. Yeah. I'll be like, hey, Rick's mom. I made the mistake of calling Russell Peters' mother by her first name.

Oh, and he was like, excuse me. I was like, sorry, because I'd met her several times. And I called her Maureen and he was like, no, no, no, that's Mrs. Peters. I was like,

sorry. Oh, wow. Okay. All right. I think until you're given the old, my dad was Mr. Deventer. My dad was Mayor McCheese.

Please call me Rusty McCheese. Rusty. But call me by both names. Call me Rusty McCheese. Don't you have people that you call by first and last name all the time, though? Yes. So do I.

Who are your people? Alicia Tobin. I'll always call her Tobin or Alicia Tobin. Nice, nice. But never just Alicia. Right? For me, it's like Rusty McCheese. Yeah.

I have a ten-second called Darren Rose, Darren Rose. Darren Rose, yeah. Always call him Darren Rose. And my friend, Rebecca Kohler's boyfriend, his name is Rob Shaw,

and it just feels right. So it's always, how's Rob Shaw? It's one word. Yeah. You know? Yeah, I'm trying to think of who I've called Mr.

I don't have many friends, so it's hard to remember. But yeah, the weird thing is there's like, I live in a neighborhood and there's kids in the neighborhood and there's never any kids running across any lawns. No. Yeah. That's a shame. That's over. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. That's a shame. That's over. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Because there's this one kid next door and he's like in his like driveways fenced in and he just runs around in the driveway like a penned. Oh, like a penned animal. I think you're trying to. Yeah. Wow. And you can tell he wants to go imagine across the street.

He wants to jump the fence. Because there's an empty lot across the street. And it's, I mean, that's kid. Oh, yeah. Is it like a parking lot? Or is it like a destroyed house that's. It's all, no, it's all grass. It's like a mini park.

Oh. Yeah. But I'm like, that's where the kids should be playing, right? When we, I mean, I remember summertime. And it would be 9 o'clock in the morning. My mother would open the door and be like, get out. Okay. And we would just get out.

Yeah. And then we would come back at lunch. And then at lunch, we would get out. And then that would be it.'clock in the morning. My mother would open the door and be like, get out. Okay. And we would just get out. Yeah. And then we would come back at lunch. And then at lunch, we would get out. And then that would be it. Yeah. It was just staying in. It's raining. Get out.

But it's raining. Here are your slickers. We would get the same in the winter. Just get out. Get out. I remember there was a house that had been torn down. And it was just a construction site. But it was between two other houses.

And a bunch of neighborhood kids were like picking up clods of clay and whipping them at a house and they would just like disintegrate silently

and I could not figure out the difference between these and rocks so I kept picking them out and whipping rocks at this house

and I just imagine now as an adult being like, I'm going to have to go and yell at those kids. I'm going to, like, I don't want to do, I'm afraid of confrontation. I know, even with children. Oh, more

with children than with adults. Because kids are sassy. Well, and also if I fly off the handle at a kid, I'm always going to be in the wrong. Yeah, you're the crazy person, exactly. We had the whole, our whole neighborhood, there was like, there was drama. Like, we had the whole, but our whole neighborhood, there was like, there was drama. Like we had all the neighborhood girls,

all the, you know, we were a bunch of us again, like between the ages of eight and 12. And then we had the mean neighborhood boys. Oh yeah. That would chase us on their bicycle. Seriously. It was,

we'd be playing and we'd be like, uh oh. You'd see one of them coming and they'd be like, get on the bikes. It was terrifying. they would beat us up and push us down and I remember

one summer day I knew it was very dramatic and one summer day I remember we were at the Parker's pool the next door neighbors that had a pool

and they were away or something and they let us have use of the pool so we were like we have a pool for a week it was so exciting and then all the

neighborhood boys came over and they're like and drowned us I am not here I'm a ghost rode their bikes into the pool but it was the one

it was that one day it was like Christmas and war like it was one day where they're like you think we can go in the pool oh right

and they're like will you be nice to us okay it was like an amnesty yes so we had a fabulous day in the pool the next day

got back up I didn't understand one day of freedom and we all had so much day in the pool. The next day got back up. I didn't understand that. One day of freedom and we all had so much fun in the pool. And the next day, back to bed. The natural order has to be maintained. Do you remember when we had fun in the pool? Oh, we don't.

You don't remember. Okay. Oh, yeah. It's like if you have a friend in summertime and then you go back to school in the school year and they're like, no, we're in different grades. Gosh, that was hard. Right? I i know but i showed you my boots i actually remember like when i remember having the feeling of like we don't play anymore and that was probably i was about 12 which i think at 12 now you already get blow jobs is that true or not yeah i don't know i think terrible i mean seriously Mr. Psycho we're done the 12 year old Zion wait a minute

wait a minute terrible no there is like a parenting book called something like Blowjobs or The New Kiss

Goodnight or something yeah we haven't read it yet oh please please oh no

that makes my heart sad that really makes my heart sad you should be kids until you're 12 there's a point

where yeah where you're like oh okay now we're gonna do teenage stuff yeah and I, yeah, where you're like, oh, okay, now we're going to do teenage stuff. And I don't feel like I was ready to jump into teenage stuff. No, me neither. I'm still not. I think I've talked about it on the show before, but I distinctly remember when people started phoning each other casually.

Oh, yeah. And then I called my friend, and we were like 12, and he answered with, hey. And I was like, oh, well, the rules have been thrown out the window. I don't even know who you are anymore. Yeah. Who is this cool kid I'm talking about? I'm so nervous on the phone. Oh, my gosh.

My siblings are all picking up the other line to listen and make fun of me. Hey. Gosh. And he's already on hey oh yeah yeah i don't different i yeah i don't think i was i i definitely like i had friends who just couldn't they could not wait to be teenagers yeah and they they excelled at it and they were kind of teenagers even like leading in to the end of the kid years they were already getting interested in studying for their learner's permit. I was going to say SATs. What? They're also American. I don't, okay.

Yeah, no, I was definitely a late bloomer in that regards. Absolutely. I was a kid until it wasn't allowed anymore. Seriously, yeah. Did you, when was the last year you went trick-or-treating? Do you remember that? To me, that was the last place that you could still be a kid.

Yeah, you know, it was probably grade 7. It was probably about grade 7, and then we were told that it wasn't cool anymore. And that was probably around turning 13, and you're like, what? Yeah, candy's not sweet anymore, guys. You all hate candy now anymore, guys. Oh, candy.

Now we do. I remember one of the markers being like, not kissing my dad anymore. It feels weird now. I guess this is over. I guess this is over. Oh yeah, that's true.

That's it. That goes away. I don't think, I don't think my dad and I were ever big smoochers. He still puts his cheek out every time he sees me. That's cute. We're European. Oh, that's cute.

My dad, I remember him saying that. It was sad because he remembers the day that we all stopped running to the door when he got home. Oh, yeah. And that, you know, Daddy! And running to the door. And that stopped when we all turned about six or seven. And it was like. Oh, and then he was just like daddy, and running to the door. And that, that stopped when we all turned about six or seven. And it was like, Oh,

and then he was just like, are you going to sneeze? Okay. Oh man. Oh man. That was built up. The suspension was exquisite. I sneeze like a quadrillion times in a row.

Did you know that about me? Yeah, I don't, me and my brother sneeze exactly the same. And it's not once. It's like at least six. Yeah. And my record is 20. Oh, I don't. Me and my brother sneeze exactly the same, and it's not once. It's like at least six, and my record is 20. Oh, I love it. Yeah.

I love sneezing. So do I. It's a good thing. Can you drive? I mean, I don't drive, and I always worry, like, what if I was sneezing? I would die. No, you got to. Yeah, you have to, like, pick your moment up.

Because you're like, I have to close my eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is it. Oh, wow. When you have multiple sneezes, do you prefer if somebody waits until the end of the run to say Gesundheit? You have to, because it just keeps going. And then you're like, oh, this is dull. Then you start, you know what I mean?

But if I say Gesundheit after one, do I? No, that counts. Okay, good. Do you think that counts for the whole run? Oh, sure. I will say Gesundheit and then if there's two or three more

I'll say stop it oh my now you're just now you're just bothering me at this point and then like if somebody coughs there's nothing you can say

to kind of diamond tap wasn't that wasn't that from the commercial oh my gosh yeah and then if somebody starts getting the hiccups there's also nothing

you can say I feel like saying Gesundheit kind of is like, okay, like I'm trying to help. I'm doing something. But with hiccups, it's just like, have you done this? Have you done that?

I know you start to treat them. You try to cure them for the first time. You become a doctor. You scare them. This is what you do. Yeah. They always drink water upside down. Oh, let me go get my scary mask.

It sort of ruins a little bit of the element of surprise but ours was always drink upside down drink that you know drink it up

from the wrong way and it'll cure hiccups somebody told me and it's worked a couple of times I've like seen it work is if you tell the person

you said I'll give you 20 bucks if you hiccup again yeah and then hiccup again yeah like after their last hiccup if you say I'll give you 20 bucks if you can hiccup again. And then hiccup again? Yeah, like after their last hiccup, if you say,

I'll give you 20 bucks if you can hiccup right now. And then they're focusing on it, and then it goes away. I have had to shell out money. But it's worked a couple of times. He's like, don't get me wrong. I'm deeply in debt. Deeply in debt. Also, eating a spoonful of sugar straight was apparently a thing.

But that is, how severe are your hiccups? Well, you know, if they last more than 10 minutes, you start feeling like, oh, I'm going in six. Yes. Do you remember that episode of Simpsons? Kill me. Kill me. That would be. The man who's been hiccuping for 10 years.

That would be awful though, wouldn't it? That would be terrible. Yeah, but I think there are, aren't there like those crazy like Ripley's Believe It or Not? This guy hiccuped for, you know, six consecutive months. He just wanted to be in the book though.

Yeah. Yeah. Or it's like a Bible story. It's a parable. Yeah, only hiccup for 40 days. Everything's 40 with you people. Is there the same

cachet as being in Ripley's believe it or not as there is with being in the guinness book oh oh because one is strictly just freaks and the other one is impressive freaks yeah so i don't know yeah like i wonder if you would brag like i'm in ripley's and then people be like get out of here yeah But some of them, for some reason, that woman with the buggy eyes is in both. Oh, yeah. There are some crossover starts. Yeah, or like the super long fingernails. Oh, yuck.

But these people, they're living, I would assume, isn't it? Yeah, I guess. Believe it or not. Do you remember the show That's Incredible? Are you guys too young for that? Yeah, I remember That's Incredible. Who was that? That was, oh, oh, no one.

They didn't do anything after. But do you remember? Who was that? That was, oh, oh, there are no one. They didn't do anything after, but do you remember who was it? Like John Davidson. Oh yeah. And a girl. I, what was her name? Sarah Purcell.

Am I making this up? Am I making this up? Are we going to Google right now? Well, I am. Guys, guys. Oh,

that was just, that's impressive. That's incredible. That is incredible. There's, that's incredible. And then there was another show. What was the similar time? What was the Fran Tarkenton one?

Oh, he might have joined later in later seasons. Thrill of a Lifetime was another one. Do you remember Thrill of a Lifetime? Yeah. And that was kind of, what was it? You take an ordinary person and let them get shot out of a cannon or something? Death of a Lifetime. I mean, Thrill.

That's incredible Was John Davidson Oh my god Fran Tarkinson Oh And Kathy Lee Crosby Damn Oh Kathy Lee Crosby

Who's Sarah Purcell We'll look her up later Anyway I love it But I had John Davidson Yeah Well done Thank you

He had quite the Head of hair He had like Lego hair That was the same Kind of thing Like this is a guy who made a, he made a house out of water bottles.

Something like that, right? Oh my gosh. Those people, whenever they interview those people, the thing that they did is always the most interesting thing about them. Like they don't have anything else to say. What else do you do?

Nothing. I just sit and stare for the rest. I don't even work. I collect bottles. You know, I'm going to build another one. Because that's all I have. Oh my gosh.

Yeah, like I wonder with the guy that What? Sarah Purcell. Tell me right now. Co-host of The Better Sex. What?

Real People. Real People. That's what it was. The Home Show, America, and a panelist To tell the truth During a 1993 segment on the home show About influenza vaccines

A physician Mistakenly gave Purcell an injection With the same needle that had been used On co-host Gary Collins Oh Jesus So they announced they would undergo blood tests but there was nothing oh my god there's three paragraphs about this person and that's one of them oh my wow there you go the um uh that was a different time when they would just yeah well yeah 1993

oh my god oh wow Not the best time. Can you imagine her face just like on, we'll check that out. We're going to do a commercial now. But if they did that on like the show, like The Doctors, it's like they came in with a, you know, sample and it spilled.

Oh, it's in the studio. But just like, if you shared a needle with your co-host and you're like, oh god i don't know if who he's been with yeah yeah oh wow yeah now all of a sudden you're like now i've been with all of his co-hosts oh man um i wonder if those guys do do they get bookings? Oh, the freaks? Yeah. The person with the longest fingernails? Is there an agent who specializes in them? Oh, definitely.

There's definitely that guy. That was a confident answer. Because there's that guy that represents like... Hey, I got you... Grumpy Cat and all that kind of stuff. Come on. Grumpy Cat is richer than all of us. Know that.

Absolutely. Know that. Well, look at us. I know. We're in a closet right now. Yeah. And look how grumpy that cat is. I love that cat.

I'm sorry. I have... Oh, we have mutual friends that have... We're in a movie with Grumpy Cat. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Past guest Ryan Beal was... Really?

Yeah. In the Grumpy... Christmas? Grumpy Cat Christmas grumpy cat christmas yeah yeah we have mutual friends with grumpy yeah six degrees of separation yeah yeah pretty good pretty good bacon you're out um yeah and those guys they're all if you're in hollywood you're just always trying to get an angle, right? Yeah, you know, bug-eyed lady is hanging out with... Oh, yeah, what does their Christmas party look like? Oh, yeah. With fingernail guy and some guy that's got the longest hair. But, like, I think they're more deserving of being on Entertainment Tonight than...

The Kardashians. Yeah, or, like, you know, a teen mom or... Yeah, that's true. Unless the teen mom, you know, a teen mom. Yeah. That's true. Unless the teen mom, you know, gave birth to like a really hairy baby. Right? A wolf boy. Yeah. Yeah.

If anything, have we moved away from the generation that really enjoys our oddities? Yeah. Like have we gone just down the, you know. Yeah, we find oddities in the mundane. Yeah. That's true. That was like, it was very big in like, what, 50s, you know? Yeah, we find oddities in the mundane these days. Yeah. That's true.

It was very big in, like, what, 50s, 60s, 70s even, moving into the 80s. But that kind of stopped. When I was a kid, my dad took me to the Stampede, and they still had a sideshow. So that was into the 80s. Wow. Yeah. And there was. And then in the 90s, there were alternative sideshows.

Yes. Jim Rose. Yes. That was when he would nail stuff into his nose. Yeah. I don't want to see that. But it was like a little self-aware. Like, we're taking the power back. We're taking back the narrative.

And then there was that. And then burlesque dancers as well. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And then there was that HBO show about like circus people. Oh, yes. Oh, right.

Do you remember the X-Files episode of the circus people, the circus freaks? Do you remember? There was a guy with the jigsaw all over his body. That was a good one. Yeah. Have you watched the new? No. I haven't watched it yet.

I'm going to let it pile up and watch all three of them. Have you seen every one? Like of the old ones? No. You know what? I stopped when Mulder left. Yeah. Okay.

That was it for me. So how many seasons did they do after Mulder? 45. That's why he's looking so old, because no one knows why, but a lot of time is passed. Because I feel like it was on like, what, five seasons, six seasons, and then he left? Yeah, I think it was on for two more seasons. And I remember trying to watch an episode, and I was like, do the producers know that the whole thing was these two? Yeah, I think it was on for two more seasons. And I remember trying to watch an episode and I was like, do the producers know that the whole thing was these two? Yeah, right?

God bless the new guy. Sorry, new guy. But it just. Well, it was like when they tried to keep The Office going after Steve Carell left. It was like, oh, you know that he's the star of the show, right? That is like, do you think people are forced to keep going or is it just because they make so much money they keep doing it? I think it's because

the money just, well, and it's like until the ratings drop, there's no reason to cancel it. I guess.

But what about the getting out while it's good still? Do the Costanzo, always leave on top, right? Yeah. Good night, bye! I think everybody

wants the extra, like two more seasons or whatever. Well, how can you turn down, I guess if you're making what, half a million dollars an episode, how can you turn that, I guess if you're making, what, half a million dollars

an episode, how can you turn that down? Yeah. Right? But then there's the shows like Breaking Bad that went out, like,

I don't think they were ever. No, not on top, ever. Yeah. Right? They just finished their story and ended.

Yeah. But wasn't there some crazy story that circulated that there was like somebody offering them like an insane amount of money

to produce one more season. Oh, really? Oh, really? Like a Russian billionaire? Yeah. And like Vince Gilligan's like, nah. Like we would just have to stall the ending. Like I don't have another ending.

Like an offshoot of something. Did we tell you about his sister? His sister's here too. They just refocused the show. Dream season. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's amazing.

Like that one Sopranos episode that everyone hated, but stretched over a season. Was it more than an episode where Tony was in a coma? It was more than one episode. Yeah, and it was sort of like some stuff isn't happening. And he was like a traveling salesman or something. And you just think at that point, it's like we just got to get it

to X number of episodes. But it wasn't a full CD. Yeah. Do you know, I've never watched The Sopranos. Oh, really? Yeah, it's on the list,

but the list is so long. It's worth watching, I would say. Everyone tells me that, you know, people are always a little shocked that I never watched it. But there's some shows

that over time, like you look back and you're like, eh, you could skip it. Would it still hold up now? You know what I mean? That kind of thing. I think so.

It feels like it's been done for a long time. Yeah. Well, Abby has been watching Gilmore Girls. Oh, yeah. And that is for a network show.

Yeah. So it's like, not something, if you binge it, you're binging hundreds of episodes. Oh, yeah. You have,

26 a season she was like oh I'm so close to the end and I asked how many more hours oh 38 oh my god yeah

it's not like you know a British show where it's just 3 you know what I mean no no no and those shows also move a lot

slower right because they're spread out over so many episodes yeah and especially like an hour each to especially comes because it's like uh you know dealing with when one year she's in a like high school the next year she's trying to get into college the next year she's in college so it's really like it was real time when it was happening yeah i also feel like right and i could

be way wrong about this, but it always seems like, okay, we've, we've got a good handle on writing these kids as they're in school. And then those college years come and it seems like everybody panics. Like it suddenly the writing gets weird and they're like, well,

like they didn't see this coming. This was a show where, um, uh, I've also never seen an episode. Kids are never The kids all have like Encyclopedic pop culture references

Yeah, yeah And she was a genius Rory was very smart Okay And I also don't know which one's Rory and Lorelai Yeah Lorelai was the mom But they're both named Lorelai?

Yeah Like Rory short for Rory Yeah, no, I'm like half watching it yeah like Rory Short for Ror-Ror-Lai uh yeah no I'm like half half watching it uh and I didn't start

with Abby like Abby watched the first 80 episodes and then I was like well I'm sick I'll come to bed I guess I'll watch uh

but I like watch with you know while doing A Crossroads Puzzle the wordiest show in the world that's why I liked it it was very I mean

dialogue and what's the setup the setup is she's a single mom she's why I liked it. It was very, I mean, dialogue. And what's the setup? She's a single mom? She's a single mom. She and her daughter are very young. Yes. And her parents are like hoity-toity East Coast types.

Yeah, and they don't approve of Lorelei. Oh, I see. It's all they know. And then there's some, they live in a small town that's like, no one knows what the industry is in this town. It's like every weekend there's another fair. Everyone has to work in some kind of food. Oh, that was the industry. Yeah.

But you know what I'm forgetting? It was Melissa McCarthy's first role. Oh. Melissa McCarthy was the chef named Suki. She was great. Oh, man. That's great. And I'm pretty sure that the town square is Hill Valley from Back to the Future.

Oh, yeah. Is that true? Because it could be. It looks a lot like it. Yeah, it does. And, like, this show was on for what? Like, almost a decade? Like, it was a super popular season.

Yeah, we were on seven seasons. Seven or eight. Yeah. And it's amazing. A lot of cute boys. It's just completely fly under my radar. Oh, yeah. But this one, it's like, really, it's for cute boys.

Like, it's just a succession of her boyfriends that are cute. And that's it. Right. What, Jared Padalecki was her boyfriend at the top. Milo Ventimiglia. He was my favorite one. Yes, because he was a pad boy. He was from the wrong side of the tracks.

I love that. But it's also a little bit. I'm going to live on the wrong side of the tracks. A little bit. That's where they all are. It's like a pop culture heavy seventh heaven. Oh, my gosh. Everything's got a bit of a moral.

See, and now that show, I've seen every episode of. I've never seen an episode. My family used to watch it, and we would laugh because it was so raw. Everything was so, you know, oh, she skipped school. And oh, what is going to happen? And everything was over the top. You know what I watched? Everwood.

Did you ever know that one? I think it was shot. I'm pretty sure it was shot in Vancouver. Yeah, yeah. It rings a bell. In BC somewhere. Yeah. That was, oh, gosh, Chris Pratt's first show.

Oh. Yeah. And he was like the stoner dude. I don't know if he was the stoner dude but he was definitely like the loser kind of boy and that one had like

Kathie Lee Crosby and John Davidson Sarah Purcell I believe yep had a main role she was showing everyone how to inject themselves

oh yeah Treat Williams on a very special everyone oh my gosh Treat Williams Treat Williams I was on special everyone oh my gosh Treat Williams Treat Williams they

they don't do very special episodes anymore maybe they do I don't know it was always a very special episode of Blossom remember

that's where that it always feels like that's the ending of that but they'd have they'd have an episode of Full House it was very serious I never watched Full House

I never watched Full House Degrassi was very are you gonna watch the sequel series nope come on yeah alright and you know I never watched Full House. I never watched Full House. Degrassi was very... Are you going to watch the sequel series? Nope. Come on. Yeah, all right.

And you know, I never watched Degrassi either. What? I never. Really? I don't know if it was just like... I don't know if it was just my town. No, I don't know anyone. I didn't grow up with anyone that watched Degrassi. Degrassi was every episode.

They didn't bill it as a special episode, but every episode it was like... Was a special episode. Yeah, it was like, oh yeah, AIDS blood everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this teacher might be a lesbian. Right, and the bully, well yeah, the bully had AIDS. And one guy did acid and jumped off a bridge after getting spiked pregnant.

Whoa! She used to work at Courage My Love in Toronto, which was one of the greatest stores in Kensington Market. Who? The one who plays? Really? That must have been a very surreal thing for a lot of, because a lot of those actors, they weren't actors.

They were kids that were in this show. And then after the show was done, they didn't keep acting. They just were like, wow. Not everyone became Drake. Not everyone became Drake. Not everyone became Drake. Just one or two of them. Yeah. There was a handful of Drake.

Most of them just went on and just had a regular old life. Life, yeah. But especially if you're working in a store, like every day, somebody must have come in and been like, you Drake? Yeah. Yeah, I'm Drake. Yeah, I'm Drake. And no residuals in Canada, so that's going to stink.

Is that a thing? Really? Yeah, that we don't do residuals in Canada, right? No. If I'm not, I don't, I might just be saying that. Let me just call my agent. Yeah. Let's see what's going on.

Actra. Get Actra on the phone. I've never worked? Oh, okay. Whose fault is that? Oh, my God. I went to three auditions. I've done my time. I've done my time I've done my time

Dave what's going on With you man? Well other than Watching the Gilmore Girls Yeah Which has been Fine The good thing about

A show Of that Size Like That many hours Is you don't have to Pay attention to it No

That's true You can zone in and out Sometimes I'll just Put on a show like that many hours you don't have to pay attention to it no that's true you can zone in and out sometimes I'll just put on a show like that just to have just to have noise in the room yeah just so no one

can hear you cry yeah exactly put on an episode of Cheers and just cry the other thing that's going on with me it's not going on with me

but I've heard a lot of people I've never heard of this before but this episode will come out on the 1st of February. Oh, beware the heights. But people doing dry-new-ary, have you heard of this? This has just come to my attention as well, that people don't drink for January and then go crazy on February 1st. Well, or...

Why? Because they drank so much in December. Just to get through it, though. Like, just to survive. But people are doing it to give themselves their wallets a break, give their bellies a break. Yeah, that's true.

I know Christine Von Hagen is doing it right now. But I've never heard of her before. She's struggling through it. Actually, I have a couple people that I know are having a dry January. I know a lot of people doing it. Weird. But I don't know. Is it a thing that's always been a thing?

I don't know. Oof. I don't know. I mean, it definitely falls in the category of more for me. But it also, I feel like it maybe makes more sense to do it in November. To be like, let's build our, let's lower our tolerance. Yeah. Yeah, because you know you're going to drink in December.

Yeah. And so, yeah. Also, January is just like, it like just the pits man yeah like some month it was gonna have to suffer the brunt of being on the other side of like the crazy extravagant that is december uh but yeah january just brings nothing to the table there's no there's nothing there's no fun day in it no like it's the only holiday in the whole month is the first day. Yeah, rip, right? It's over so fast.

That's a rip off, let's be honest. And then what else is in January? Is Martin Luther King Jr. Day? Yep. That's in January. That was like a week ago. But that's a solemn one. That's not fun.

I think, you know what? What is it? The third Monday is always considered Blue Monday because it's the most depressed thing. That's totally made up. That is made up. It was made up by like a travel company. What is it? The third Monday is always considered Blue Monday. Oh, right. So that's made up. That's totally made up. That is made up. It was made up by like a travel company. New Order, I think.

New Order made that up. Yeah. That was theirs. Please remember us. Oh, God. And then it was covered by Frente. No, wait. That's Bizarre Love Triangle.

But yeah, so yeah, I've been drinking regularly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing dry January except for the rest of my life. I am sober 24 days sober off a pot. Really? That's it.

I'm done. How do you feel? Um, equal parts terrific and miserable at the same time. Um, because I smoked pot for like 25 years. And like 15 chronically. Like just non-stop. So when you say chronically, like it's every day? Every day.

Every waking hour? I'd say probably like in the last like seven years, non-stop. Like wake and bake. Like wake up and smoke all day long. So everyone that would have any interaction with me and you're wondering, was I high? Yes, I was. Wow. Yeah.

Okay. I know people like that who can totally function. Oh, gosh. It's high functioning. But it is, though. It is because it's very easy to function on pot. Yeah. And then, yeah, I just need to be done.

So I'm done. 24 days. Good for you. The first time I've ever gone 24 days in like 20 years. And I've known people that they were the same thing, smoked every day, and then decided just I need to have a clear head for. Oh, yeah. And I mean, I'm done, though.

It's over forever for me. Oh, really? Yeah, it has to be because it's just it's over forever for me. Yeah. I knew a guy who could get you some? Oh, I know too many guys that can get me some. That's my problem. But yeah, so I'm, yeah, I'm over a bit of a new leaf.

And I also don't drink. So now, and now I'm just like, Debra. Good for you. Yeah. I like Debra. All right. Debra regular. I know just like, Deborah. Good for you. Yeah. I like Deborah. All right. Deborah regular. I know.

Just always sober. It's weird. Deborah classic. It's weird. Yeah, I guess Coke has come back with Coca-Cola regular. Yeah, I know. The regular stuff. But it's weird, though.

Is it weird? It sounds weird to say it more than be it, actually. And what's the thing that you miss the least about what? The always smelling like pot. Yeah. I miss that. I also, there's, sounds so silly, but there's such a freedom of not, of knowing that I'm not doing anything illegal anymore. Like, it's like now I have a terrible downstairs neighbor who never, who never leaves me alone.

But I was always like, okay, whatever. Because, you know, when you're smoking pot in your apartment, you can't really yell at your neighbors. Do you know what I mean? And now,

I'm fucking begging. True. I'm begging for it now. I'm just like, come to my door. Fucking come to my door. I'm just, I'm aching for her

to be a bitch to me because I'm going to, oh, I'm going to unleash in a way that she will not even know what's going to happen. She used to be so mellow. I know, right? But yeah. So yeah, I don't miss that. And I'm also, There was to be so mellow. I know, right? But yeah.

So yeah, I don't miss that. Okay. And I'm also... There was a Degrassi about quitting pot. Yes, there. Oh my God, I'll have to watch it. And it was like someone got murdered. Whoa!

I'm very glad I'm not going to murder anyone now. Well, no, it was just they weren't mellow anymore. Oh, see? I'm going to murder someone. Well, all right. Anyway. Yeah, and like there's a thing, you know, for quitting smoking, there's an app that tells you how much money you've saved

when you stop quitting smoking. Oh, yeah. So I tucked it in for pot. I'll be a millionaire at the end of the year, by the way. I will have $1 million. So, yay! Yeah, there's a lot of pot dealers that aren't going to send their kids to college. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, sorry, guys. Yeah, you have to join the military. Yeah, there's a lot of pot dealers that aren't going to send their kids to college. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, sorry, guys. Yeah, you have to join the military. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's weird, though. I'll see how many friends I lose because I'm already losing a couple. Oh, really? Yeah. That's the thing about the going clear.

Yeah. Or dry or whatever. It's like, then what? Like, so you're in January and there's an occasion, somebody's birthday or something. He's just going to show up and what? Drink soda all night and then just go throw up. Well, you and I,

you and I, we used to record the podcast at night more often than not. We would drink beer and now we record it in the daytime more often than not. We'll have coffee and water. Yeah. And the other day we met up and had a couple of beers at a brew pub. Yeah. Yeah.

And I was like stumbling from two beers. Like my tolerance has gotten way down. Yeah. And it's, yeah, I don't like what, cause then as soon as February 1st comes, people are just going to go crazy.

I think that that's kind of, then they'll binge. They'll go nuts. And it's like, what was sort of the point of that, I guess? I guess to just show that you're in control. Yeah, I would guess so, right? Just say, like, I don't have a problem, I guess. I don't know. Who knows?

I don't know that it's all necessarily people who are getting drunk every day. No, no, no, no. I just think it's a good way to save money, too. Yeah, that's true. If you quit anything, really. Anything, no, no, no. I just think it's a good way to save money too. Yeah, that's true. If you quit anything. Anything, my God. Even if you quit going to the gym,

you're going to save some money. There should be an app that tells you how much money you saved by not going to the gym. And how much weight you've gained. Good luck getting out of those contracts.

Yeah, I know. Please. I had to fake my own death. I did it at the gym to make it realistic, so that was good. Hired some guys to carry me out. It was good. Head chopped off in a Stairmaster. I hired some effects guys.

Yeah, yeah. They're still talking. They're still talking about it. Oh, my God. What's going on with you, Graham? Well, I, this week uh as a fun thing to do i did i went uh because i've heard about these things and at first i was like this is only a thing that nerds do but then i convinced myself i'm like i'm gonna give it a try

uh i went to an escape room oh so there's this it's like a fad right now. And it's like you go to these places and they've got these different themed rooms. And then you go in and you have to solve a mystery. Stop it. And it is so much fun. I bet it is fun. Yeah. And your dad is narrating it.

Oh my gosh. Okay, so now what if you don't solve it do you stay there forever uh if you don't compactor yeah the walls that would be so good they'll be honest yeah so right if the walls were moving so like where did where was this place this was in gastown and uh it was uh it was so it was so much fun i can't believe how much fun it was it was so it was so much fun. I can't believe how much fun it was. But there's kind of different levels of so we pick one that was like intermediate. Medium, yeah. And because there's ones that are like

super scary. How many people were in your group? Six. And yeah, usually I think that's like you need four people otherwise you have to be with strangers. Oh yeah, like I think that's like you need four people. Otherwise, you have to be with strangers. Oh, yeah. Like taking a ski lift. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So it behooves you to get a group. And then you go in the room and they tell you what you have to figure out. I just want to go as a single. Single rider. Single rider.

And then really ruin everyone's night. I was enlisting at the beginning. What are the rules? What did you have to do? The story was that there was a woman who, you know, apparently there was a murder in this room. And her head. That was made up.

That's fake. That's up no no no this is uh and that the murderer was seen uh with her head and so you have to find this is very reminiscent of her uh head chopped off in a stair master yeah oh it was also at a gym um and then you have to reunite the head with the body, but you have to figure out where the head is and where the body is. Oh my gosh. And so it's all, you had to like, but they're all in the room.

Yeah. But they're all hidden. You have to like figure out one thing to figure out the next thing, to find a key, to open this thing, to open up this other thing. And what does this mean? And the puzzles, is it? Well, it's just like, it's just a room. thing to find a key to open this thing to open up this other thing and what does this mean and

there's the puzzles is it well it's just like it's just a room like there was bookshelves uh and there was uh like a book on the table that had pictures old pictures of her and so you're looking for clues in the pictures and then you're going through all the books on the bookshelf oh man how long did it take like how it was it? You have 45 minutes to solve it. We solved it in half an hour. Yeah. Pretty good. I thought it was going to be like when you said escape room.

I thought they'd like put you in a room and they're like, get out. Get out of the room. And that would be that also. Well, that's part of it. I think there is some of those. One like that? Yeah. Like a panic room kind of thing?

But I think you need to like, it's not so much like find the secret passage as find the key. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I think that a lot of the rooms keep the door unlocked because they don't want people to have a panic attack and freak out. Or do it. Yeah. We got 45 minutes. I'll only need four. Yeah. Then you just radio them. We got 45 minutes. I'll only need four.

Yeah. Then you just radio them. We're done. Yeah. One of us is done. Bring them up. Oh. You're going to want to...

We changed some of the clues. Wow, interesting. Yeah. Who makes this stuff up? That's very weird. I don't know. How much did it cost, first of all? This was, I think it was $15 a person.

Really? That's good. Yeah. That's fun. It's a fun, like, let's start out the night. We'll go do this. Let's do something weird. Yeah.

That's neat. And, but they were very, like, at the beginning, they were very explicit, like, don't. If something feels like you're forcing it then it's not part of the thing and you could see when you walked in the room you're like nope somebody fucked with that light and somebody's really reamed on this thing it's like like uh puzzle pieces that don't quite fit like people are like oh it won't there there there i solved I solved it. And it's just, it's like, as far as a business to run, it is very low overhead because it's just a room. It's a room, but like really beautifully set decked to be like an old timey kind of like, what would you call those rooms that people would have conversations in? A conservatory.

A salon. A salon. A salon. Yeah yeah it was like a salon and then there's one down the hall that was like a submarine oh yeah yeah right it's kind of fun and uh yeah it was fun and it was like you got a walkie talkie you were allowed to to ask for two clues uh we only asked for one nice and uh but then the guy came in and the end he's like well you still have uh 10 minutes usually this is uh what i use to show people how to solve the thing but uh you guys solved it so what do you want to do now yeah i was like yeah so what do we do oh you could just you could just leave and then I could go home early. Was it satisfying? Very.

Or it wasn't just like, oh, this was too easy? No, it was hard enough because you had to like find one thing and then figure out what that thing meant. So it was like enough stuff for everybody to do. Cool. But if you, yeah, if there were only two people, like you would never get it done because it's like. Teamwork. There's like a hundred books on the shelf

and they're like, one of these books has a clue. I like the fact that someone thinks of that and goes, let's do this, let's make this a thing. That's a very cool thing to do. They're all over the city. Really? Yeah. There's dozens and dozens of them because.

We've had guests talk about them before. Yeah. And I think it's an easy way to like use a storefront or whatever like hey we just we just set deck it hire a couple's uh acting students to be the uh spooky chambermaid i was gonna say spooky chambermaid get it together graham may i turn down your sweet... I have soaps. Do you need any towels? Yeah, so I went and did an escape room. Solved it.

Want to do it again. I want to go to the hard one because this one... Do you want to start an escape room blog? Where you review a different escape room? Oh my gosh. Totally. You can be that escape room guy. Yeah. Dot CA. Yeah. Dot com

is taken. Oh boy. Oh brother. But yeah, the one we solved was like 50% success rate and they have one there that's a 7% success rate. Oh, get that one. Get it. That's the one. That's the one you'll get. I like it.

That's the submarine one. Yes. Yeah. Exciting. Turn your key. Fun. So, do we want to move on

to a bit of business? Oh, yeah. Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You got to do the things you don't want to do to get through the day.

You got to shine your shoes You gotta sweep the floor You gotta clean your house You gotta do some more Take care of business This week we have a message on the Jumbotron A real quick message, a real heartfelt That's the best kind

Personal message Like, hi! Hi! Hi, it's me! Hi! Hi! Missing you, hi! If anyone wants to send just, hi, missing you.

Yeah. Feel free. What we got going on, we have a message to Heidi in Oakland, California from Brian. Hi. Hi. Heidi. Heidi. Happy birthday to a great wife, best friend, and fantastic road trip companion.

Presumably his wife. Oh, yeah, that's true. Maybe this is a message from both of them to their dog. Happy birthday to a good wife, Julianna Margulies. Oh, yeah. Best friend, Rachel. And a fantastic road trip companion, Tom Green in the movie Road Trip. Oh, wait, he stayed at home Thelma

Yeah, there you go Breckenmire If anyone would like to have your own message on our show Head over to MaximumFun.org Slash Jumbotron Do you want to move on to Overheard? I sure do, Dave Thanks, buddy, after these messages

Ty is a pedantic person Do you want to move on to Overheart? I sure do, Dave. Thanks, buddy. After these messages. Ty is a pedantic person. I think when he pronounces these words, it's in a very show-offy way. Gyro. Gyro. Sacrebleu. Sacrebleu. Ayers Rock.

Uluru. What you are witnessing is real. The participants are not actors. They are actual litigants with real cases. They call in via Skype to Judge John Hodgman's court, the real people's court. Now I call you to Judge John Hodgman's internet court. Find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you download podcasts. Hey, I'm Barbara Gray.

I'm Brandi Posey. And I'm Tess Barker. Together, we make up the Maximum Fun Podcast, Lady to Lady. Each week, we welcome a kick-ass lady guest. We talk about our lives, our dreams, and the terrible decisions we've made that still haunt us. We've had on great comedians like Aisha Tyler and Margaret Cho, plus screenwriters, doctors, authors, you know, anyone who's willing to be as open as we are. It's all a lot of fun.

That's us, lady to lady. Can you keep a secret? Neither. Overheard. Overheard. A segment in which, hey, we hear this stuff, then we talk about it, then you hear the stuff. It works out real well for everybody. Nice arrangement. We always like to start with the guest, Debra.

Okay, because I knew I was coming on, I've been really eavesdropping on people. Yes. And I heard some cute ones, okay? When I was actually in line at the airport yesterday, I overheard a couple talking. They were telling whoever. And their whole story was they're divorced

and then they like swapped. So his wife, his ex-wife married his wife's ex-husband. And that was like, it was, that was just information. And I had to lean in. I couldn't stop. I was like,

listen to me, what's going on? They're like, Oh yeah, it's really good. We're fine. They were all friends and stuff. So there was a group of four of them and they were telling extra people.

Yeah. They were telling the, whoever the customs guy or whatever, and they were talking. So that's kind of weird, isn't it? It's weird, but it's also so convenient. You don't have to change much. Just swap houses and you're good to go. But the one that I actually heard that was an actual conversation, not just me eavesdropping on their story. Very cute.

A old couple, probably, you know, they looked old. You could tell. And then they were doing something, whatever, filling something out. And the wife was filling it out. She was asking, you know, questions about her husband. And he said his age. And he's like, 75. She's like, you're 75?

And then he looks at her and he goes, you're 73 like you're 75 and then he looks and he goes you're 73 I'm 73 it was adorable it was adorable like honest to god shock

like and slightly and a bit of disgust she was also it hadn't occurred to me I stopped counting a while ago it was very cute

can you imagine realizing that you're 73 but like how old would you think you are like 14 or 60? Or like 71. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's fair.

I expect. I lost two years. I do get a little lost now when I don't like make a, you know, when you were a kid and you're like, I'm this many and seven, eight. Nine and a half. Yeah, yeah. No, yeah. I forgot the other day.

Like, I was like, and I had to reference the year. I was like, okay. I know the year I was born, but I wasn't born until December. Very cute. That's adorable. It's cute, yeah. Dave? Mine is an overseen.

Oops, I need to grab it off my phone. One of my favorite things about living in canada is the french language that we all learn in school say ball um sale halloween bibliothèque and one of my favorite things about the french language is how slowly it moves in relation to pop culture so like english words become like slang words and then they don't, they become so popular in French that like, no one calls a weekend a fin de semaine. Le weekend. Right.

Oh, I see. So they just adopt. Yeah. Like on the weekend, I'm going to mange a snack. Un snack. I'm going to go on l'internet. Un chien show. Oui, I'm going to go on l'internet. Un chien show. Oui, I'm going to do some snowboarding.

And so I, someone I follow on Instagram is this French-Canadian singer named Coeur de Pirate. And after she saw Star Wars, she posted this picture that if you haven't seen Star Wars, you would have thought this might be a spoiler, but it's really just like a theory, uh, that she had. But, um, so, uh, so, but it was like the day Star Wars came out. was reacting to this picture she posted. And I just wanted to take a few, uh, uh, just like French of French, French ofizations of an English word that I think are so adorable.

So these are some comments based on what people thought was a spoiler. Merci pour le spoiler. Merci le spoil. Pas cool de raconter le film pour ceux qui l'ont pas vu. Bravo au bon gros spoiler. It's also because it's French sarcastic with a little bit of English slang. I love it. Very cute.

And I don't think I've ever had so much preamble. You know what? Paid off. But you have to. Yeah, I was going to say. It worked. I've ever had so much preamble in. You know what? Pay it off. But you have to. Yeah. I was going to say. It worked. What's your favorite French,

French-ification? My favorite thing was always when they would do like hockey announcing and it would be a string of French

and then the player's name would be so overly pronounced in English. Doug Gilmore. Brian Scroodland. Hugo.

Ricksy. That's all I am. But you know what? It works. It did. Thank you, guys. You haven't overheard, my friend. Yeah, mine, I was involved in it.

So whatever that, however that works. But I was buying some bagels the other day. Oh, I remember seeing you right after this. Yeah. They always try to sell me more bagels than I want. Like, I'm like, I'll have six. And they're like, there's a special on 12. And I'm like, but when are you going to eat, like, two bagels than i want like i'm like i'll have uh six and they're like there's a special on 12 and i'm like but when i gotta eat like two bagels they freeze great do they yeah oh i should freeze

them ah i'm an idiot um but uh the girl that was uh helping me the cashier she uh after i paid and stuff she said uh do you want your receipt? I was like, no thanks. She's like, it says 420 on it. That's true. Should have thrown her a bagel. That's for you. Yeah, exactly. Put a bagel in the tip jar.

You should only buy six bagels now. Oh my god that's like someone gets it yeah somebody who gets it we would call that

as an old woman we'd call her kind she's kind she's kind yeah kind bud yeah oh god

so old jeez now Graham that's it for overheards right no no no Dave no I'm closing up the show. No, no, no, Dave, don't.

I'm just going to close the laptop. No, no, don't. Miming, miming, miming. We also have ones that have been sent in to us from around the world. I love this. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. And this first one comes from, I believe it's pronounced Amit, A-M-I-T, Amit, Amit, from here in Vancouver. Say it with a French accent.

Amit. Le troisième étoile, the third star. Amit. I was at a playground with my family that had a spinning carousel. A dad had put his two kids on. Approximately four and six years old. I hate to interrupt. Yeah.

But is there such a thing as a non-spinning carousel? Oh, no, you're right. Yeah, touche. Boy, I really. Well, I don't like myself. For saying that. So they were approximately four and six years old. And he was spinning it alarmingly fast.

When he finally stopped the carousel, he said, okay, time to walk like you're drunk. And that was fun as a kid. Remember how fun being dizzy was? Yeah. Oh, boy. Also, I used to sit upside down on the couch and then sit up really fast to get a head rush. Woo! Yeah, what were your... That's still good times. I'll start doing that fast to get a head rush. Woo.

Yeah. What were your, still good times. I'll start doing that now. I would, yeah, yeah. I would get dizzy.

Uh, uh, you'd spin someone on a tire swing. Oh yeah. That was like the fastest way into hurricane vomit. Yeah. But like being, uh, uh,

what, what dizzy was, that's as close as you could get to being high. Yeah. Well, I don't get dizzy through January. I do it so much at Christmas. Just having a straight January.

Constantly spinning, always spinning this one. Yeah. He's a whirling dervish. This next one comes from Leslie W. Parts unknown. Well, her parents' house. So that's what I was at my parents house recently helping to move some furniture.

My brother and his family are staying with them. He has two boys, a three year old and a 10 year old. My sister-in-law was getting the little one ready for a bath. When I overheard her telling him, take your clothes off. You're not going in there fully clothed. Then I heard a 10 yearold nephew ask his mom,

are you talking to grandma? Oh, my God. Oh. It's funny. It's funny and sad. And sad. Strip, mom. You're not going in there.

Oh, my God. And this last one comes from Kyle at Home uh at home depot he was at home oh um home depot i go to hires a lot of special needs employees to help in various places throughout the store yesterday i was walking in and noticed guy pushing a lot of carts through the parking lot we were both headed towards the same entrance, and as we got closer, I recognized the employee as one of the special needs folks that has helped me in the past. This guy is very tall and pretty muscular

with the voice of Macho Man. Oh, yeah. He also knows where everything is in the store. He's awesome. As we get to the door, he stops the train of carts and lets out a huge grunt, then says, that's the train of carts and lets out a huge grunt and says, That's the power of Home Depot.

We are unstoppable. Amazing. Pretty great, right? Oh, man. Just to be somebody who loves their job that much. Oh, right. Yeah. Right? I had, when I lived in Toronto, I was at, I lived at St. Clair West Subway Station,

and there's a big Loblaws there now. And they hired a lot of special needs kids as well. And there was one guy who, I don't know why, but, well, I do know why. He hated the sound of my voice. I know. He listens. We get emails from him. I know we

he listens we get emails from him and I am like seriously like it got to the point like where I would have to walk in and just

he I knew he was coming at me like he would come up to me quiet and I'd be like I'm sorry your voice is so loud

I know I know and this was the grocery store I was usually by myself yeah like ordering a coffee and oh yeah oh gosh.

And then I would just I would just wave at him and then he would just give me the, you know, the shush symbol and be like, sorry.

I watched your comedy now last night. It's so loud. Oh my God. Very nice. Adorable. Cute. Now,

in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us. Our phone number is 206-339-8328. Like these people have. All right. Hey, Dave and Graham and stupendous guest. This is Laura calling in from Windsor with an overheard.

We were in Las Vegas walking through the Margaritaville Casino, and there were two ladies in front of us and they looked at each other and the one said to the other oh my god it's so hot in here and the other one looked at her and said well duh it's a beach themed casino

I guess why go all the distance and then not make it all the way? Although it's Las Vegas, it's hard to not be hot. Not be hot, yeah. Yeah, but a beach-themed casino, I've never heard of that. That's cute. Although everything is air-conditioned there.

Yeah. It's weird. Have you been? Yeah. It's so, because everything's wide out. The casinos don't close their doors. You just wander in and out. Yeah, that's true.

So I don't know how to keep the cold air in. Have you played Vegas? No. I've heard it's the worst. It should be the best place to play, right? Have you ever performed just like a, not, you know, in the casino in the proper performance room? No. Yes.

I've done that. But I've also played like on the casino floor where it's kind of like there's no doors to where you're playing. Yeah. I've been where there's just a curtain and you can still hear. Yeah. Bad. Yeah.

Because no one wants to be there. Anyway. Yeah. They've just been told like, you need to slow down. Go sit over here. Yeah. It's like a timeout. And you're the person in the, oh boy. Like a bad kid. Go sit over here. Yeah, it's like a timeout. And you're the person in the...

Oh, boy. Like a bad kid. Here's your next overheard. David Graham. Hi. Impossible guest. Yeah, I'm wandering here. All right.

Never much. He gives up. I'll always play a call with him He gives up And he's wandering Just wandering here Drifting Sometimes they call back He did not

He lost his nerve for good Maybe he'll find it Out there on the road Here's your next phone call Hello Graham, Dave and delightful guests This is Katie from Oakland maybe i'll find it out there on the road okay here's your next phone call hello graham dave and delightful guests this is katie from oakland reporting an overheard i was at walgreens in the cosmetic area and i heard a girl say to another girl i'm really into bar soap right now for some reason. Like instead of a pump action? Or like a body wash?

Oh, a body wash. Yeah. I've never, aside from being at people's houses that have a body wash and I'll sneak a little, I've never bought a body wash. Really? All bar soap.

Yeah. I don't know why. I went through a phase where you got one of those big poofy things that gets all the body wash. What is it called? It's called something.

It's called a poof. No. It is. That's what they're called. They're good. They scrape. They're like a little abrasive and they're like exfoliate. See, but there's parts of my body I don't need exfoliation.

And they never stop lathering. I actually, they don't. It'll waste your entire shower. I actually rock body wash and bar soap oh really I have options in my shower

okay yep I am so I'm jealous I travel with bar soap like I'm I'm so I'm a zest man

I'm a porn zest man you'll die in that van but like and I don't want to go somewhere where it's like if I'm staying at you know family's house

oh yeah I don't want to touch your soap I don't want to rub your soap it's like, if I'm staying at a family's house, I don't want to touch your soap. I don't want to rub your soap on my body. Yeah. If I'm staying somewhere, then yeah, I will bring, if it's not a hotel, I'll bring a bar of Irish Spring. Because I still remember that commercial where the guy goes out in the waterfall, cuts off a bit.

Yeah. Whittles. That slicing was good, wasn't it? It was very creamy. I still think about it. I was thinking the other day about those Nabob commercials where they put the,

the like rod on the table and like slide off a bunch of beans. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yes. Oh yeah. And then the other day,

like I was, one of my roommates had left a razor sitting on top of a bar of soap and I couldn't stop thinking about running the razor over it. Oh, nice. All right, here is your final overheard of 2016.

Hey, podcast. This is Ben from Florida. Currently, it is Christmas right now, and I just got done filling up my car with gas. And while I was at the gas station, I overheard this little boy say to his father, Oh, gee, Dad, those armor-piercing bullets sure are expensive, huh? Thanks. Have a blessed Christmas, y'all. On Christmas Day.

Whoa. If we're going to rob a, what would you rob? I guess an armor truck? If you need armor piercing. The FBI? I don't know. Wow. Yeah.

I don't know. I just, why do they? What's the point in selling the armor if you then sell the antidote to the armor? Oh, yeah. That's where they get you. Yeah. Literally. Through the armor.

Is it, and that was on Christmas Day. Yeah. So it's like. Merry Christmas to us all. literally through the armor um is it it's like and that was on Christmas day yeah so it's like Merry Christmas to us all Scrooge was like

find me a turkey and some armor piercing bullets yeah or a goose I guess yeah I've got a boy I've got a score to settle

yeah with a goose yeah here I'm gonna distract Tiny Tim with this goose and then Ratchet's getting it in the armor

oh my god well that brings us to the end of the show here yeah Deborah yay it's over

thank you so much for being here oh pleasure so much guys what do you have anything coming up

that you'd like to plug oh yeah I have some fun stuff actually I get I'm doing some a couple festivals I'm going to do North Carolina at the end of February.

Nothing could be finer. Nothing. Yeah. I'm excited Asheville North Carolina will be fun and then I'm going to Grand Rapids also

has a festival the first like second weekend of March and then after I also get to do Moon Tower, which I'm really excited about, in Austin, Texas. And that's in. That's supposedly, like.

It's supposed to be super duper fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got a great lineup, and I'm really excited. That's, like, third week of April. Nice. Yeah, fun, fun. Okay. So if you're in any of those cities, we've got to listen.

Yeah, come find. Yeah. Show her the best place for barbecue yeah where do you get where do you get a good what brisket ribs

something both no no just wings no just like show her the barbecue area of Home Depot

oh my god where's the where's the best place to buy a barbecue yeah I need a hibachi in North Carolina in Austin um uh and yeah if uh anybody out there To buy a barbecue. I need a hibachi. In North Carolina. In Austin.

And yeah, if anybody out there is enjoying listening to the podcast, you might also enjoy the blog recap over at MaximumFun.org. Pictures and videos of things we talked about on the show. That's incredible. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Irish spring slices. Oh, that. Yeah, slicing off the Irish spring. Yeah. So satisfying. Hub yeah, absolutely. Irish spring slices. Slicing off the Irish spring.

So satisfying. Amazing. Also, donors of Maximum Fun, donors to Maximum Fun, we have two bonus episodes that we've put up in the last month and a half. So if you haven't refreshed your donor feed, they're in there.

They're in there. Check them out. And yeah, head over to iTunes. Give us a review there. Oh, yeah. And thanks so much for listening. Thank you for being our guest. Thank you for having me, guys.

Super fun. Always. And if you enjoy this show, tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. I didn't know. Yeah, I remember when Elaine said, like, oh, my diaphragm fell out. Who doesn't have their diaphragm?

I mean, what? But I only knew it as the, and I was like, so women have an extra diaphragm that they can put in their purse. That's adorable. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.