Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 421 - Erica Sigurdson

Episode Date: April 11, 2016

Comedian Erica Sigurdson returns to talk comedy in Asia, TV ratings, and whisky tasting.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 421 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and with me as always is a man who would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah.

Yeah, I would have. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I'm so pleased that we survived our 420 toke fest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you guys, I'm so pleased that we survived, uh, our 420 toke fest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you guys, we got so blazed. My doctor said I'm too mellow. I went and had a checkup after. Oh, really?

Yeah, and he said your marijuana levels are too high. I, yeah, my doctor said I'm one toke away from the toke that will end it all. But from, at which point I'll go full Rasta. And our guest today... Did I tell you? What? When I was in Nanaimo a couple weeks ago, there was this pipe shop called Rastatroll.

Oh yeah, I saw a photo of it. It was pretty cool. It was pretty cool. Our guest today, one of our favorite guests, a very funny comedian, Miss Erica Sigurdsson is our guest. Hello. Hello, gentlemen. Hi.

And listeners. Gentlemen and listeners. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Erica, you just came back from a wild adventure. I did. You went, you were in all parts Asia.

Yep. Tell us everything. Tell us all about it. Give us your itinerary. Picture it. YVR. Did you have a snack before you got on the plane? International Women's Day.

One lone woman with a backpack. I went to Southeast Asia to do the Magners International Comedy Festival. There's about 20 comics in total. The Magners? Magners Cider. Cider. They are the big sponsors. So I flew into Singapore, which is so long to get there. Like how, I have like no

concept. How long does it take to get from here to here? Okay, first I had to fly to Shanghai. So I left at one, no, two in the morning. I left at two in the morning. Looking at me like I have the identity. Get my identity, okay? Bring that up, please. So you were at the airport here two in the morning.

Yeah, I left at two. That's crazy. What's that like? Yeah, that must be super spooky. People waxing the floor. Yeah, it's crazy. Like, airport, late at night. But there was more. Is Hudson News open? Yeah, it is.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay. I was wondering. Well, no. I guess it was 1.30, not 2. Let me be completely honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In case we got a fact checker. Now the story starts falling apart. Yeah. I practiced this to get through the border. Because I was at Milestones when they closed. So I went in, had a salad at Milestones. They closed her up. Kicked me out.

Oh, and was that the last place open, Milestones? Yeah, pretty much. Wow. Because I don't think I've ever been in an airport. At closing time? Well, I've been in an airport late, but everything's been closed except the desk to check in. It's super creepy. But it's fun to watch people arrive for work in the morning and you're just a bag of shit sitting in a chair.

All these flight attendants. When there's girls at the airport super early in perfect makeup, I just kind of want to punch them. I'm like, what is happening in your life that you got up to do makeup this early? But I, on the other hand, am totally fine with a woman doing whatever she wants with her body. I just kind of want to punch them. Like, I'm like, what is happening in your life that you got up to do makeup this early? But they're flight attendants. I, on the other hand, am like totally fine with a woman doing whatever she wants with her body. But I'm progressive. Like, I'm a little more enlightened. It's 2016.

No, not flight attendants. Obviously, they have to look good because who wants, you know, an uggo? Yeah, curlers in their hair. Sweatpants. Hey, welcome. Sweatpants and uggs. Well, come on man Traipsing down the aisle

Just like huge sunglasses I'm so tired Anyway There are the exits They put the They put the breathing mask on And just leave it there Yeah

Get a couple hits of this Yeah So anyway So that was a 12-hour flight to Shanghai. Holy jeez. And then so I landed in Shanghai at like 4.30 in the morning. And that airport, the place that you- The Milestones was just opening.

Yeah, it was weird. They had a morning shift. But you couldn't get into the next part of the airport till 5.30. So, and it is funny how quickly white people group together, like, because it's so confusing. The airport's giant and I was trying to ask and they were like laughing.

I was like, where do I like... They were laughing at you? Yeah, like the woman was like, you can go through customs and essentially enter China and then go up to the third floor or wait till 5.30 in the morning.

And I was like... Oh, because you had to change planes. Yeah, I had to change planes. So then I was like, it was just very confusing. And then it was like other white people would show, where are you going? Help me. I'm like banding together.

We're confused. So then I had six hours layover in Shanghai. And then it was another six hours to Singapore. And I got picked up at the airport at 4.30. Got in the cab. 4.30 p.m. a.m.? 4.30 p.m. now. Okay.

Oh, man. I've now been traveling for 27 hours, and I get in the cab, and the girl from the festival who came to meet me, she's like, okay, so we're going to get to the hotel, and we have to be in the lobby at 5.15 for press conference. And it's 4.30, and I'm like, no, no we're going to get to the hotel, and we have to be in the lobby at 5.15 for press conference. And it's 4.30. And I'm like, no, no, I'm having a shower. Like, I'm not, no, I'm just like, I'm not doing that.

Have you ever seen, there's a clip when it was, I think Bjork got off a plane in, is it Japan? I don't know where, but she just attacked Paparazzo. Yeah, she goes, like somebody, you know, somebody's trying to get a quote from her, and she grabs this lady by the hair. And I'm like, that's what would happen if you were like, oh, we're taking you right to the press conference. It's so insane. I know. Yeah, it was crazy. Of the, like, three times in Bjork's life where there's been Paparazzi after her.

Yeah. Like, very talented, but not necessarily in the public eye a lot that's true now what was it can i uh did you like because you were into the shanghai airport for six hours yeah what was it like um it was like is it super modern or like super old very modern okay yeah and i felt like such an idiot because I was like, I'm suddenly, I go to Starbucks and it's like 45 and like it comes up for coffee. Yeah. And I'm like, I have no concept of the credit. Like, I don't know how much I just paid for that.

Oh, yeah. I put on my credit card and connecting to Wi-Fi. It's like, we will email you your password. And I'm like, but I don't know. Like, it was just like, put the package on your phone, everybody. Just because we're doing that one. One email. Yeah.

But did it just have like a bunch of like, like American stuff in it? No. No, it had all sorts of like. No, it was. Starbucks and then. It was Starbucks. Oh my gosh. When I finally got through to that, that part of the airport that had, because we were just

sitting on the floor and it was freezing cold in this like holding room basically for an hour and a half. Oh, we don't turn on the heat for another three hours. Yeah. Like we were all like, because everybody's in like shorts and t-shirts and everyone's like, oh, it's so cold. So we get through and I see the Starbucks and I's like, it's so cold. So we get through and I see the Starbucks and I'm like, I'm so tired.

And I'm just like, oh, running to the airport. Please give me Starbucks. Was it, did it taste the same as you were used to? Yep, sure did. I just wonder, you know. Different, different. I know, it's like, it is a weird question. Like you travel all around the world

and we want to know about this Starbucks. Yeah, the Starbucks. So then you're in Singapore. In Singapore. That's where the festival's happening? First country was Singapore. And then we had three nights in Singapore. Then some of the comics, like Lars Kalu from Edmonton, he was in Singapore.

But then he went to Vietnam with a couple other comics to do shows. He got drafted. He got drafted. Oh, no. That was the big line, the comics then he went to Vietnam with a couple other comics to do shows. He got drafted. He got drafted. Oh, no. That was the big line, the comics that were going to Vietnam. They're like, I'm shipping out in the morning. I'm going to serve. This is your last chance.

I only fell for it once, and then I was like, wait a minute. Hold on, you guys. It would be cool if they went in helicopters. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And then the rest of us went to the Philippines. And then more shows in the Philippines? Yes. Okay.

And who are the audiences? Well, interesting. Yeah, a lot of expats. But Singapore was, it was pretty 50-50. Like there was only one show that I absolutely hated. That was my second show. It was mostly Singaporeans. There was one great table of English expats that decided to sit the farthest away from the stage.

So it's like, and they speak English very well. Not the English guys. Singaporeans. The English guys had a pretty good grasp on the language. Mostly, they used the C word a lot more.

They kept saying boot instead of trunk. I was very confused. My garage sale bit, tank. But, that, they don't get like

subtlety and irony as native English speakers would. Right. And I'm typically very, I'm all punny. I actually did Charlie's act the whole time I was there. So I've talked about my Asian life.

And so it, and it just did not, it just, it was like, they're polite and they're looking at you, but nothing is landing. And you're like, oh, so we're doing. And then a guy with, we're pretty sure, some sort of mental illness sat in the front row. And after every line, he'd go, okay. So, like, he sits down midway through I'm emceeing or comparing, as they say in Britain. Oh, yeah. And so I started, okay.

And then it just keeps happening. And I'm like, I don't know whether to address it. And a couple times I was like, okay, dude. And he's like, okay. Okay. And then the next guy goes up and he's a prop comic. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, let's not just glance over that. And then the next guy goes up and he's a prop comic. And he made. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Let's not just glance over that. Yeah. Like had a trunk. Oh, so much stuff. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Every airport we're going. Like getting on a path. It's funny. Like as people who see comedy and do comedy all the time. How rare that is. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like I've never.

I've never been on a show with a prop comic. Oh. Like, before this, have you? No, I don't think so. So this guy had to carry crazy amount of... A vacuum.

A vacuum cleaner. We were in a... Through customs. Into... And, like, like a packed train in Bangkok. Like, literally, like, you know those trains.

So packed. And he's... Like, we're trying to get off... He's got a full, like, you know, those so packed and he's like, we're trying to get out like a stand up. Like a vacuum. So he had a trunk. You mean a boot? He had, hold on. Um,

yeah, he like, he would come out on stage and he would have a trunk that, well, he sets everything. It's that it was just a big suitcase. It wasn't actually a trunk. Um,

it wasn't, he's an old carrot top he didn't have a trunk um just kidding he's very talented and uh so yeah he would do like this is a this is a tennis racket for uh yeah and like just for george w bush yeah nice tons of stuff just and it seems just like so much work. Like, I'm like, and it's so hot. And it's just like dragging this. I would have been like five minutes into and been like, ah, fuck it.

I'm not doing props anymore. Oh, yeah. Five minutes into your career. Yeah. Yeah. Did the Singapore audience, did they, were they receptive to prop comedy? Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, he finally, he like really went after that guy and was, and then somebody kicked him out finally.

And then he showed up at my next show halfway through. The okay guy? The okay. I look over. And I, like that second show was like bomberific. Like I hated it. Even the other two, like the prop guy didn't like them either. And the prop guy, yeah, he likes everybody.

Yeah, he likes everybody. It's like nobody was knocking it out of the park, but I particularly felt like, oh, I've made a horrible mistake. What am I doing here? And then the next night, it was great. The room was set up properly for comedy. It was just a great show. And I'm, like, having a great time.

And I turn around and I look and he's sat right in the front row again. And nobody knows what's going on because he hasn't said anything yet. But he knows. He knows. And then he goes, okay. And I go, hey. I'm like, do you remember what happened last night? And now I look like a complete maniac.

Because he hasn't said anything. It's like you've been following him around. Yeah. I go, do you remember what happened last and now I look like a complete maniac because he hasn't said anything it's like you've been following him around yeah I go do you remember what happened last night are we going to go through that again

and like it was like I suddenly was somebody's mom I was like no you and then I turned around and he was gone but at least like the audience liked you

at this point the night before you couldn't pick on the guy because the audience was like why is this unfunny woman being mean all of a sudden yeah what is she doing

just bring up the prop comic we all came here to see and then the final guy is a lovely English gentleman called Earl Oaken who plays the guitar and does like funny songs and did that

go over the funny songs yeah but again it. And did that go over? The funny songs? Yeah. But again, everybody, nobody killed it that night. Okay. We all suffered. But maybe at least with the music guy,

like if the audience doesn't get the jokes, he could still become a pop idol. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Or yeah, if somebody does,

yeah, if it doesn't get a laugh, he just goes into a crazy solo. Yeah, I do a lot of like my joke songs. They're pretty funny, but they also work as like Korean pop hits. Ever since I bleached my hair. Is that a thing in Korean pop?

Well, North Korean. He's huge in North Korea. So then you did shows in Thailand. Yes. And how are the audiences in Thailand? Great. They were phenomenal. I felt like the whole trip was waiting to get to Bangkok because the Philippines, the shows were good there too, but I found that really hard. It was just the poverty on the streets and the girls, girls, girls.

This is in the Philippines? In the Philippines. The first night, the dudes took me to midget boxing. Now, that's an ongoing concern. Where were you in the Philippines? We were in Manila. Manila, okay. And there's this boxing place that I guess...

And you... That's where the thriller happened. Yeah. Yeah. But you like... Have you done boxing? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, yes. So did you... Were you up against one of them? They wanted to... Like, the guys were, because I was so like, I'm the worst person

because it's not midget boxing, it's girls dancing and rubbing up against guys. And I'm sitting there and just like my head is exploding. I don't understand any of it. Yeah, I'm very confused. So this is little people.

Little people. Boxing. Yeah, I want to make it clear that it is called midget boxing. It is called midget, ringside midget boxing. And on the way into town, I'm like, that is deplorable. I cannot believe, I'm like going off on my whole little. Yeah.

Like it did not, it was funny that I lost my voice because the whole time at the beginning of the trip, I would not shut up. I'm like, I cannot believe these girls are in here. And the guys are like, can we just like, one of the girls starts making out with like the comics next to me and i'm like and then they call over a girl to start massaging me and i'm like this is and then i'm like oh that does feel really good so this this is happening simultaneously they call her over just to get you to shut up yes that's what they kept doing. So, this was

the boxing was happening, and then there was this girl, girls... Or was there no boxing? Yeah, boxing only happened once. So, first there's just girls in the middle of the ring in short shorts, and they could not look less interested in being there. Like, they're just, like, rolling

their eyes, just swaying back and forth, and then there's like other girls that are you know making out with dudes and then they had the little people came out

with boxing gloves and they pulled one of the guys that was with us one of the comics Luke in to be the ref. Oh okay.

But the big joke is they're going to punch him in the ball. That's pretty great. Yeah. Well, I mean, they understand comedy. Yeah. So basically the whole time, he's not doing a great job at reffing.

Well, he's an amateur. He doesn't know. He's trying to protect it. And then, of course, and they just boom, right in the balls. Oh, that's really funny. But then they come over and you got to pay. Well, they've earned my money. Yeah.

I'll mail them a check. Yeah. And then that was it, though. That was the whole gag. That was the whole gag. And then. So this had been built up where there are billboards around. Oh, yeah.

It's on the front. And then it's also ladies boxing. And there's two like MMA type women and then the actual ladies boxing was two girls in bikinis

with ginormous boxing gloves like laughably large boxing gloves just like throwing haymakers at each other I was like

this isn't boxing and everyone's like oh my god shut up yeah another massage for my friend over here, please. Well, it's like when that time I went to a wiener dog race.

It was mostly horse races with some wiener dog. Yeah, and then your friend started making out with a horse. And a wiener dog bit my crotch. Strong work, guys. strong work guys so then uh because bangkok is very that's dangerous it's dangerous but it's also very famous for that uh you know lots of prostitution and i was not invited on any other outings to girls girls girls places well just as well yeah was left behind. But you've been to Asia before. Have you been to these places? No.

Yeah, no. I've been to Japan and Hong Kong before. But now I've got three more. Under your belt. Under my lady belt. Under your fanny pack. My lady box. So, yeah, like what did you do in Bangkok?

All the guys are going to girls, Girls, Girls, Girls. What did you go check out? What did you see while you were in? Because Bangkok's always like fascinated me. Yeah. Like as a place to go. Well, it was quite cool. Like the first night the show was in.

And the reason we were all waiting to get to Bangkok too was we were staying in a five-star hotel with a great rooftop pool. And I was like, this is how I was meant to travel. Yeah. I've never stayed in a five-star hotel with a great rooftop pool, and I was like, this is how I was meant to travel. I've never stayed in a five. Oh, well, maybe I have. Is it nice? It's that extra star is where it's at. Yeah? It is so nice.

Did the room have any special things in it that you've never seen in a hotel room before? Shower? TV remote? I had a shower and a bath. Whoa. Whoa, what? The five a shower and a bath. Whoa. Whoa, what? Five stars. It was great.

And actually in Singapore, I got a huge suite. I got the nicest room. I was the only girl on the rest of the tour. There was one other girl in Singapore. Then it was just me, which did kind of suck because I didn't have anybody to really go shop with, like how I want to shop. And it was too hot. The one day I went to the outdoor market, I lasted, it was 40 degrees and I lasted about 30 minutes.

And then I was like leaning on a pole. I had to turn on my phone and call the girl like at those rates. I was like, I have to go back to the hotel. Like I was, I was about to pass out. Like it was just too hot. Yeah. And I was like, I can't. And I love to shop.

And there was so many purses. And I feel like a failure. You should have just grabbed, at least grabbed one. There's a couple of giant indoor malls that are basically like the outdoor malls. I know, and I wasted my day. Yeah. Thank you for bringing that up. Well, I'm sorry.

Have you been? I've been a couple of times. There's the MBK. Okay. That's one of them. And there's one right next to it. I think that's the- been a couple of times. There's the MBK. Okay. That's one of them. And there's one right next to it. I think that's the Platinum. Yeah.

And that has really nice movie theaters too, where you can have like a recliner. Ooh. And you can watch the Transporter 2 like I did. Because that was the movie on offer with the recliner. Sold. I will take it. Yeah. But then one night we finished the show and Drew McCready, who used to live in Vancouver.

So he owns a comedy club in Bangkok, which is an amazing comedy club. Like it's really just set up perfectly and close together. And like, that was my most fun, this show where I lost my voice too. Because you were having so much fun? I think it was the air conditioning, like going in and out of air conditioning and the heat. Yeah. And it was like two days I forgot to take my vitamin C and then I got so sick. Uh-oh.

The next night I was supposed to MC. No, I was supposed to do a headline and I couldn't talk at all. And everyone's like, oh, your voice will come back. Your adrenaline will kick in. And I'm like, I don't think. And then you were like, I got to do props. Yeah. I know. I'm like uh so i switched with somebody i was like look i cannot i know for sure i can't do 30 minutes i'm like i'm gonna try to do 15 so they the guy introduces me and i'm like make sure you tell them i lost my voice but he goes uh and your next comic blah blah

oh and she lost her voice and i'm like well that doesn't even make sense. And so I go up to Mike and I'm like, hey, everybody. And then, like, it doesn't come back. And everyone's, like, staring at me. And the emcee and I am like, don't go far. And I'm like, I don't, this isn't going to work. And I put the mic down and I leave. I looked at my phone because I used my timer and it was 43 seconds. It was like my shortest.

And everyone was so confused because they're like, what was that? I was imagining you doing like a 15-minute pantomime of trying to find your voice. Is it under this stool? No, maybe it's in the audience. You, sir. It's the whole act. There is a guy in England, I think. Yeah, he's called the boy with the tape on his face or something.

Is that the same guy you were thinking of? Oh, somebody told me because I just started typing everything out that I needed to say and someone would read it for me. Not on stage. To get to the other side. Trying to fly, like going to the airport and trying to get, like when you have, like I had zero voice. It wasn't like I was like, oh, I have to, like I could not actually say anything.

And I got to the Bangkok airport at like midnight and my flight was delayed till 4 a.m. And I've already been checking the hotel I should have been a little bit I'm too agreeable they're like

how about these flights I'm like sure and then I'm like no those were the shittiest flights available like other people left at 1pm

what a reasonable time to leave I'm like I'd rather be out of my hotel room for a good 12 hours before I get to embark on 27 hours of travel home. So by the time, like I'm at the airport and I'm like writing like, aisle seat, please.

And she's like, sorry, there's only middle left. And I'm like, no. She's like, you misspelled aisle, sorry. Get out. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, I don't know that i could do it well especially like in another country where people maybe speak english but don't read it yeah yes oh i draw a lot of pictures

also to add to the fun of leaving this two-week tour um completely sick is that on the last day we were supposed to have lunch and get paid, and none of us got paid. Oh, wow. So I'm also leaving sans money, terrible cold, and no voice. Oh, well, I mean, it's not that far away. Yeah, you could just drop back in whenever you're next. Do you have my money yet? Okay, I'll come back.

So what did they say? Oh, well, you transfer it to you? Or they're just like, oh, the festival didn't make any money yet. No. At first it was. Here's what you owe us for your flights and hotel. Yeah.

They're billing me now. And you didn't do that last show. They've probably divided out how much i get paid for 43 seconds um no the great thing was there was just no mention of it like we all go to this lunch and everybody's like why are we like we left our five-star hotel everybody's like trying to figure out what to do with their luggage because most people people are out of the room. We go to this lunch. The prop guy is like, Jesus Christ. No, exactly.

It's my career. And, uh, then we go to this lunch and then the guy showed up like an hour and a half later and everyone's just eating beans on toast. And then there was just no mention, like no, at no point.

And I had the, like, I couldn't even be like hey what's going on because i had no point like i'm just like i'm just like watching everything like and um yeah so as of right now none of us that's uh that to me is the weirdest like because sometimes i've done festivals and it's like they don't have the money at the end of the last show you do. And I get immediately squirrely. Yeah. Like, I'm fine.

Easy breezy. I don't even need to sign a contract. But if I finish that last show and there's not, the money isn't there, then I'm like, something's going horribly wrong. Give me a check. Post date it. Yeah. Yeah. Or the moment I arrive. Or just tell like, something's going really wrong. Give me a check, post date it. Yeah, or the moment I arrive. Or just tell me something,

like, you know, but here's the thing because I had heard, we did get paid or most of us got paid, in each country you got paid

half your fee up front in the local currency so that was at least, you know, I wasn't out my own personal. Right, right, yeah, yeah. I mean, I wasn't out my own personal. Right.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, two weeks of my life. Yes. But then, so we got that up front and then other people like one guy really got, you know, he was like, hey, like he was really, because he was leaving even before the lunch. And it was all, it was just like, nobody seemed that surprised or upset by it. Right, that's a problem.

Yeah. Yeah. Because I had heard from people last year that said it took months and months to get paid. So I kind of knew this going in. But then to just not say anything and be like, well, this is the lunch where on your contract it says you're getting paid.

And then that night we all went out to dinner and the guy's like, he's like, okay, so best part of the festival, worst part of the festival. And everybody goes around the table and in my head, but I can't talk. I'm just like, ah! It's like a diving bell in the butterfly situation. Let me blink this to you. Draw some dollar signs on your eyelids. Yeah. Like, I don't know.

Oh, man. Remember we did a festival in Regina. And the whole time we were like, we're not going to get paid. This whole thing is falling apart before our eyes. Remember, I had to pay up front for my hotel room. I was like, oh boy, this is bad. Yeah, it was on his mom's credit card. And we're like, oh, good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was, oh boy. It fell apart. But we did end up getting paid. We did. And see, in that case, that was like a guy who personally lost money on it, right? Yeah. Like, and a friend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know him. He tried to do something. He personally lost money. I'm way more like, you know, hey, look, like, let's sort something out. I don't want you to. Yeah. Your kid to starve.

To, like, lose your car or whatever. But the whole time during the festival, the guy kept telling us how much money Magners paid him. Oh, right. Oh, that's great. Yeah. It was a real, like, there was a lot of weird, like, last minute, like, flights getting booked. And it was reminiscent of old days of a comedy festival we are all familiar with. It had some problems with payments.

So it was like that. It was a little bit like It kind of reminded me of that of like, hey, if you had somebody kind of organized, you'd save a shitload of money because

Oh, because they're booking like the day before and they're like, what flights do you have left? I'll pay whatever. Like guys got stuck in one of the guys got stuck in because you're flying one way into all these countries.

And most countries will not let you in on a one-way flight. You've got to show the flight. And they hadn't even booked his flight. So he's like in L.A. trying to get on the plane. And they're like booking his flight while he's at the front counter out of the, like it's just like. Wow, that's very weird. Yeah. How weird.

There was a lot of, I mean, I'm sure I'll laugh about it in a couple years. We're laughing about it now. What was your absolute favorite thing the whole trip? Like, we know your least favorite. Yeah, we know the least favorite. Well, let's all go around and say our favorite thing. Mine was the boxing. Mine was the prop cup. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What was your favorite thing? Yeah. Mine was the boxing. Mine was the prop cup.

Oh, yeah. Yep. What was your favorite thing? The five-star hotel. The five-star hotel. Just lounging in the five-star hotel. I'm picturing, tell me how close or far away. I'm picturing this five-star hotel room.

Everything's white. White every, walls, bed covering, chair, thing that the TV screen. You only got a white channel. It was a giant iPad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Am I closer? Am I white?

You're so far off. Oh, really? White linens, of course. Oh. Nice. Robes. Towels. Oh, robes. Ofens, of course. Oh. Nice. Robes. Towels. Oh, robes.

Of course, robes. Nice. Of course, robes. Two-star hotels have robes. No, no. They're not anything special. Yeah, and the breakfast included in this was crazy. It was like any food from any culture.

There was a whole Japanese food. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And fish. Omelette bar. Ugh. Omelette bar. I love an omelette bar. Desserts.

Yeah. So many desserts. Tropical fruits. Tropical edible flowers. Really? Wayland flowers and madam. Yum. Yum. Yum.

Thank you. I wasn't even there. Would you do it again? Would you go on another like Asian tour? I, um, it depends. It was tourism.

Oh, for sure. I would for that. Um, I've already got that book. It's easier if you book there. Much more, you know, you can really explain what you're looking for. I like my voice.

But not if you lose your voice. Yeah. So I have to draw a lot of pictures. I'm looking for this. Do you have that? The ping pong ball. I drew a paddle just to show you that ping pong the ping pong ball I drew a paddle just to show you

that it's a ping pong ball but the paddle doesn't play into this yeah although it could I'm not against it if there's somebody who does that

but but maybe not maybe because there's I know comics that like once a year they go on

they're in Thailand yeah they do like I don comics that like once a year they go on, they're in Thailand. They do like a crazy Asian tour. Well, there was a guy that's been on tour since July from the States and he just is going country to country. I don't know because, you know, the whole time I was, I think if I had gone with a close friend, I would, and I met some really amazing people. Yeah. So I'm happy that I did that, but I was just so far away from home and I was like, you know, I would, and I met some really amazing people. Yeah. So I'm happy that I did that. But I was just so far away from home and I was like, you know. Yeah, you're kind of like, well, you're like, yeah, this is all right.

Yeah, it was like being on the road, except in a country where. Where it's so hot. Where it's so hot. So hot. Now, before the show, to switch gears a bit. Yeah. We were talking about your love of Car2Go. Oh, yes. Your love of the Diva Cup.

Oh, I was going to call it the Sippy Cup. The Sippy Cup. I couldn't remember the name. And this Kickstarter thing. Oh, yeah. You were telling us. You've backed a lot of Kickstarters. That was my first Kickstarter.

Oh, because I was going to ask do you seem like the type who would get in on these things? I am I am the type. And this was the first one I committed to

and I was so excited. It was the goat mug. The goat mug. The goat mug. Okay, so what's the premise? So, it's like

it's a mug that's in the shape of a goat's horn. Okay. Oh, okay. And then the sleeve, you turn the sleeve upside down and then you stick the goat horn in it so it can sit up. And then it's got a clip so you can wear it across, like picture the most hipster thing you could possibly. Oh, like, so this looks like a sheep herder or something this is what i'm drinking out of oh yeah look at me and i thought in my brain i was like that would be so perfect because whenever i get on an airplane with a coffee i'm always that person that's like

and spilling my coffee so i was like i will just look so like like, exotic with my goma getting on the plane. And people will be like, who is that girl? And then. Go to Starbucks. Can you put it in his horn? I know. I haven't even, like, used it yet. And.

Are you already like. I'm a little scared. Yeah. Like people. Because it's a weird, embarrassing affectation. Yeah. But also, it's going to be an instant conversation. You're going to have to have that conversation.

But do you want that conversation? Every time. Yeah. Well, the conversation that I had with Jay was, stop ordering things off the internet. And that conversation, because I also. You got two of them. I got two of them. I also.

The you. No, this isn't a Kickstarter, but there was like a new fitness tracker called Move, M-O-O-V. It's like a personal trainer. And it's like, keep your feet up. You're running up a hill. Keep going. You can do it. Keep your gloves up.

You're a foxy boxer. Don't let her hit you in the face. Keep your feet up. You're on one of those dangly roller coasters. Watch out. There's dog poo on the ground. So I also ordered two of those. Is there a minimum order of two on these things?

Well, it was like you get one for like $60 or two for like $80. For $120. Yes. But there's free shipping at $100. I have two of those at home. One still in the box. Because as you know, I'm a Fitbit diehard. Yeah, I did not know that.

Well, read a book. On Erica Sigurdsson and her gadget. Yeah, so anyways, I've got two of these gumwax. Maybe I'll bring them to Winnipeg. And we can videotape ourselves going around to the most hipster coffee places. And yeah, I like this idea. And keeping your feet up. I like the idea of going into

and not even talking, just saying, I guess this is a small this horn. Well, I still want four shots in it. And do you have coconut milk? I do think, because I ordered the goat horn in the grande size instead of the 12-ounce size.

Okay. I think the 12-ounce would have been more, it's giant. I don't know if you know how big a goat horn has to be to hold 12 ounces of liquid. Is it so gigantic? It's pretty big. So it's like you really killed a big goat. Yeah. Now, have you tried drinking anything out of it?

No. You put it back in the box and put it in my closet. Because I was so overwhelmed with the ridiculousness. I didn't know what to do. See you on moving day. Do you have like a survival pack? It would probably go well in like your earthquake kit or whatever. Yeah.

You know. Because it's also weapon. Uh-huh. Right? Yes. There you go. And it also lets people know that you know how to kill a goat. Yeah.

Or order something on the internet. Yeah. I have never received anything from. I've given to a couple of Kickstarters, never received like the thank you gift thing. Yeah. And never have I backed one that actually got done. I've backed a lot of like documentaries and like we're making a movie and I'm like, here's

the money. Please don't ever send me an update. I do not care. But they don't listen. I'm still having a lot of trouble making this movie. Here's why we have a media. Don't care. It's fine.

It's your money. It's your money now. I wasn't. There was one. Somebody that I follow on Twitter posted this one. And it seemed like it was like, I don't think this is a product anybody needs. It was a box that you put your uh phones in if you're like a family and then it locks for an amount of time oh boy and it was like can't you just not go on your phone you need a a box with a time lock on it you've got other problems then if you can't control. And then that

same family is getting murdered and they're like What's the code? This is great family time. Or the family bonds on them destroying the box so you can get their phones back. Oh dad, I didn't know you could swing a

box around like that. Teach me. Oh man Dave what's going on with you Well speaking of Signing up for dumb things A couple months ago Abby signed our family up to be It's like basically

The equivalent of a Nielsen family Oh right Where you know Like you are they monitor what you're watching on TV and what you're listening to on the radio and on other media as well. Wow. And, but it's not like a box that you would have your TV plugged into. It's a, like basically a pager. It's something you wear on, it has a little clip that you put on your waist.

Right. And you walk around all day, and it lets them know what media you're exposed to. And Abby signed us up for this thing, and I hated it so much. Yeah, I remember you hating it right away. Because they give you these things, and it's just like another thing to carry around. And also it's another thing to keep charged. Oh, yeah. Because you have to charge it overnight.

And, you know, if you don't, they call you and they say, hey, you haven't been you haven't charged your device in a couple of days. Why don't you go ahead and do that? Oh, boy. And so, like, yeah yeah i think we did it for boy three or four weeks and then uh and also like i listen i have headphones on all day yeah so there's an extra device you have to plug your headphones through then to plug that into the uh into your little pager thing it was just the most cumbersome something uh and i was like oh and abby was like but dave don't you want to you know influence the future

of canadian media and i was like i thought i was that's what I've been trying to do um I've always kind of wondered how the Nielsen thing or whatever works oh yeah and also I wasn't allowed to talk about it that was another thing like it while I was doing it I maybe not I'm not even allowed to talk about it now but yeah what are they gonna do yeah um and I, yeah, after like two months, they gave us $8. Worth it. My goat mug is not seeming so ridiculous now. But did you need to have like a TV and listen to the radio in order to qualify? I don't know.

I didn't sign us up. Oh, okay. Yeah, because I wonder about that. Like, does it measure Netflix? It measures everything you're exposed to. I think it works the same way as like Shazam, where it'll like, things have a silent digital code in them that it can hear. I feel like I would purposely mess with them. Just like leave it next to a laptop.

Put it on Grandpa and let him run around. See? Yeah, that's pretty good or just like put it on spotify and have it just like play fish concerts over and over okay well all right it takes all kinds yeah this data is an anomaly but we can't ignore it um yeah but yeah i wonder i wonder how they like that's the part I've never understood is how do they like see that you like a thing and so they just try to make more things that are already like that thing? Oh, the broadcasters in general? Whoever gets this information. I don't know.

I think they're just like, hey, we won the six o'clock hour. And for advertising, right? Yeah. Yeah, I guess't know. I think they're just like, hey, we won the six o'clock hour. And for advertising, right? Yeah. Yeah, I guess, right? You know, because remember when we had that little show. Yeah. That was canceled. There's still a woman in my building who every so often goes, what happened?

Is that show still on? You were on that show. What happened? You're like, it's still on. You're not watching? Yeah. We've got a different time slot. But remember, they would tell us like last time last time you had, like, we barely would ever blip on the little thing.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because they were explaining that people have the boxes in their homes, but that they were about to go to these new pager devices. Pager devices. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. But like also, wasn't it, uh, there would be a lot of stuff where it would be like people fall asleep to this thing and they leave the TV on or whatever, but that continues to count. Yeah. Uh, so it would be like people would be watching the news and then whatever immediately followed the news also got a little bit of juice. Yeah. I don't know.

It just seems very like well it seems like kind of clunky so yeah no i agree like and they kept like we kept failing like we kept not doing it well enough or like some days i would just leave it on the charger and never go out and it doesn't measure anything while it's charging oh yeah which is which seems dumb did you ever try to like uh like watch things to make you seem like a bit smarter yeah i really want to impress these guys um is there what's on tv that would make you seem smarter uh i don't know w5 i feel like that's just oh sure yeah any any news magazine yeah yeah Like anything that's not the Real Housewives.

Or, speaking of which, discovered a new show. What? My new favorite reality show. Real Housewives? No, it's celebrity moms and daughters. They all move into a house together. It's on the Lifetime Network. Who's on it?

Heidi Pratt. Oh, from The Hills? Yeah. Celebrity, really stretched there's uh jose canseco's wife and daughter okay her name his daughter's name is josie canseco jose canseco's daughter is named josie canseco uh somebody from some show called bad girls. I didn't know what that was. Okay. That girl that was 16 who married the 50-year-old. Oh, yeah.

What's her name? I don't remember. Cadence Rombustman. Yeah. She has a lot of plastic surgery. No. Yeah. Very natural look. And who else? Oh kevin federline's uh

what oh uh char jack yeah yeah yeah char char yeah and then her daughter and then there's somebody else from the real housewives good show oh it is the best the first episode heidi pratt gets drunk throws up a bunch of pesto all over the place. There's not enough barfing on TV. Like, reality TV compared to actual reality, there's much more barfing than reality. Oh, it's true. Anyway, so that's what I would be contributing to the cultural conversation. But the weirdest thing was they would like, anytime we slipped up and weren't watching or wearing

these devices long enough, they would call us and be like you really got it? You really got it? Remember to do it. We'll give you one more week and if it's not going well after that we'll talk about it. And so we kept screwing up

and they kept giving us more chances and when until the point where we just stopped wearing them and they were like

okay one more week but and no offense to you and Abby but it's like you're shaping

the it's like the kind of people that would sign up to do that are now shaping television which is probably what not most of us want to be watching yeah that's probably true yeah like people who are like if i ran the world this is what it would be like yeah yeah a lot of a lot of conspiracy videos on youtube and just that like christmas burning log

that gets its own primetime special. Like if you died wearing this device and they didn't find you for months, you would just have the one channel on. I guess it wouldn't be charged though. I would be so sad if it was them that came and found you because nobody else knew. Oh my God. else's name oh my god there was a documentary about somebody who he just like kind of slipped through the cracks in terms of like the billing to for her uh rent and everything just kind of like got lost and so she was dead for 14 years or something it was it was a long time it was years and years like when they found her she was like mummified kind of thing.

Like if you could, oh. If people could not know I was dead, that would be the greatest. Well, there's two ways. You either go off the grid or you go right to the center of the grid so that you're hiding in plain sight. Or I dress up like a grid. Get some checkered shirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Easy Halloween costume. But, like, not, like, regular checkered, like, the kind of checkers from, like, The Matrix. Yeah, like, white and blue would be a good check. Or black and green. Yes. Like those little Matrix numbers. Oh, we should make a list of easy halloween costumes sure that's number one i'm the grid so yeah that's what's going on with me shaping the

future of canadian media congratulations and not being allowed to talk about it um as for me yeah a couple weeks ago i didn't talk about it i just kind of forgot about it but i i went to a it was like a weird event that i don't know who put it on but it was one of these like uh yeah like i feel like sometimes like brands just like have money and they need to like put on a thing and so they have these like like a cider comedy festival cider company sponsoring a comedy festival yeah like uh like i feel like you've been to some of these where they're like it's just like a night it might be as like a casino night or it's a tasting night or whatever and uh this was on saint patrick's day it was like this super fancy saint patrick's day thing that was put on by like some kind of

oblique like celtic wonder or something like that you know some organization celtic related speaking just to interrupt did either of you watch the show mr robot uh no okay there's a company the big overarching company is called e-corp and everyone calls it Evil Corp, but so many people call it that that you're like, is it actually called that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Anyway, go on. So, I don't know. It's just like, it's this weird thing that is invite only. And I feel it's like mostly for people that are somehow involved in the media. And you found an invite on the ground. Yeah.

And I don't know who the – But you were invited. No, I wasn't invited. Oh, okay. I was somebody's date. Okay. But I – We knew that, didn't we?

Yeah, deep down. I was like, I'm in the media. You're in the media. Yeah, exactly. No, I wasn't invited. But I also couldn't figure out where everybody else was from. Like, I'm like, are you guys all from a TV or a blog? Are you all weathermen?

Yeah, yeah. And it was, there was like a whiskey tasting station. And there were like girls walking around with like cigarettes not selling them but giving away cigarettes which i guess you're i guess that's like the last bastion that cigarettes can like advertise in so there were like banners everywhere like this new kind of cigarette did you get a few uh no i just but like even in that world the the cigarette girls they they had these huge like cancer warnings on them to the point that when i first saw them i was like that's a weird thing to just be carrying around a poster that advertising like cigarettes cause cancer yeah

but yeah it was like they were giving away packs of cigarettes. Cigs. Yeah. I don't know. Anyways, it's like an industry event. Right. And every once in a while. What industry?

The Irish industry? That's exactly. I don't know what industry it was, but I feel like there's people that go from event to event to event. Like this is what they do. Like Catherine Barr. Yeah. She's like a mover and a shaker. Yeah, is this something that someone would write about

in the newspaper the next day? Like this would be like pictures of like, this was us at the- Let me stand on a chair and take pictures down your shirt and put them in the newspaper. Yeah. So yeah, like that kind of thing where it's like, I don't know who goes.

I don't think you can aspire to go to them because there's some kind of cabal that invites this group of people. But a lot of people seem to know each other. But I think from events like this, and people were not afraid to get wasted at these things because there's a lot of complimentary alcohol. Cigarettes.

Yeah, cigarettes. I only smoke when I drink. And I only drink when it's free. But yeah, so anyways, I just, it was like So did you dress up fancy for this? No, I just wore you know, shirt.

That's fancy for you. And it was nice. Like, there was, like, nice music, and it was, like, all beautifully kind of set decked. It's like for a thing to go out to on St. Patrick's Day. It was as classy as it could possibly be. Yeah, and, like, considering, you know, everywhere there would be a lineup. Oh, yeah. And like considering, you know, everywhere there would be a lineup.

Oh, yeah. And the other thing was, like, I was in there. I was like, oh, boy, this is really civilized. And then I went to go use the bathroom. I was like, things are turning. Things are turning. I know. It's starting.

It's hitting that point where shit's going to start getting weird. Heidi Montag just threw up a bunch of pesto. So then we left and then getting on that bus oh boy like oh the the late night yeah late night st patrick's day bus holy man that is and i mean st patrick's day was on a thursday this year so it wasn't really as peak as it maybe if it was a Friday, but it was still pretty, it was pretty nasty. Any barf? No, no barf, but like to go from like a nice event where everybody was dressed up really nice

and they had like this, you know, oh, try this whiskey. It's got a real peaty flavor to get on a bus to be like, like all green beads and like. Punch me, I'm Irish. Have you ever been on a bus where someone barfed? Oh, yeah.

Oh, my friend, yeah. Riding next to me. Your friend barfed? My friend barfed. Oh, my God. Boxing Day, 1996. Boxing Day? Yeah, we went to a Canucks game.

You went to midget boxing. We went to midget boxing. It was midget boxing day. Yeah, we went To a Canucks game You went to midget boxing We went to midget boxing It was midget boxing day Yeah we went to a Canucks game And I got free tickets And it was like Literally the last row Like that's how high it was

Oh yeah And you could only buy Two drinks at a time So she was slamming Beers back We were in our 20s It was a different time Sure

But still Who can afford Stadium beers Trying to start the wave From the back row Like And we were in our 20s. It was a different time. Sure. But still, who can afford a stadium beer? Trying to start the wave from the back row. There's just all these families that probably got tickets for Christmas. And she's like, come on. And then we had to make it all the way back to Surrey. And then, oh, God, it was awful. And then, yeah, on the bus, suddenly she just hurls.

And I'm like, oh, good. Yeah. This is not good. But then she said, when did we have licorice? And I was like, gross. We didn't. I still do have licorice. It is in my tummy.

Yeah. We got invited to this Twizzler tasting event. But I do, I remember, I feel like it was here, but it might have been in Calgary. Somebody threw up near the front of the bus. And then it rolled. Yeah, like then the bus was going up a hill and everybody at the back of the bus was like, Ah! They started screaming.

And picking up their stuff. Oh, boy. It was a ride to Rook. Yeah, that's why I think planes have carpet. Just to absorb it. But yeah, I went to a fancy St. Patrick's Day thing. My first, first, and probably last in my whole life. Why?

I don't think I'll get invited. You're fancy and have Irishish citizenship i do it's true but i i somehow got to get into the weird world of these industry parties for one night it's like it never happened because i'm sure if i go there now i won't even recognize the place it was at the uh a place called the imperial is Is that? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go see Sloan there. They have, uh, they have the,

uh, models of the terracotta warriors on the wall, which they kind of Irish stuff. Sure. Yeah. Uh, should we move on to, uh,

overheard? Yeah, let's do it. Stop. Podcasting yourself is supported in part by Casper, an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price they offer an obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price obsessive and shocking yeah these are things it's um these are the mattresses that you

don't have to go to the store to try out you How do you try them out? You get them to your house. What? You have 100 days to try out this mattress. Oh, yeah. Because then I can try all the things I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eating Chinese food in bed. Sure.

Restlessly rolling around all night. Piling a bunch of clothes on the bed. Diving into them. This is like 100 days, 100 forts. Yeah. So you have a risk-free trial and return policy. You can try sleeping on a Casper for 100 days with free delivery and painless returns.

It just comes in the mail like mattresses never did before. And many painless returns to you. Yes. Happy New Year. Yeah. These are made in America. these mattresses are at a great price point and the price can get even better if you're a stop podcasting yourself listener what you need to do you go to casper.com slash spy and you can get 50 toward any mattress

purchase terms and conditions apply that was in bold so that's why i said it like that use the code spy at checkout and also while we're in this break hey let's uh announce a live show we're gonna give you plenty of notice yeah stop podcasting yourself we'll be live october 22nd i believe it's a saturday in victoria british columbia the alexoulden Hall? Well, it's late October, so it's the Alex Goulden Hall. I'm canceling. It's too scary. Too scary. And tickets are available at Lyle's Place in Victoria.

You know the place. Yeah. It's the place with Lyle in it. Do you remember the TV commercials? No. They would superimpose mouths over famous musicians. Oh, that's pretty cool. And it would have like... Song parody? Yeah yeah stop and go to lyle's place um and tickets are also available

at ticketfly.com uh yeah you only have six months to get tickets to this thing hey want to move on to overheard please i'm a leg re-ringo a dog owner and i'm renee culvert a dog wanter and we host a show called can i pet your dog the podcast for unapologetic dog lovers you can find us every tuesday on maximumfun.org or on itunes so now what is this is it just a podcast where all we do is talk about dogs sort of uh we definitely have a segment called dogs we met this week where we tell you about you know dogs we met this week we also have a segment called Dogs We Met This Week where we tell you about, you know, dogs we met this week. We also have a segment called Dog Heroes as well as Cool Dog Tech and Stupid Dog Tech. We also

have some of your favorite celebrities. Lin-Manuel Miranda who did Hamilton has been a guest. We've got Leslie Margarita. We've had Nicole Byer, Ann Wheaton. All the best dog related celebrities. So check us out every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org or on iTunes.

Can I pet your dog? Can I pet your dog? Renee and Allegra. C-I-P-Y-D. Yeah! Hi, I'm Brian Safi. And I'm Erin Gibson. And we host the Throwing Shade podcast.

On Throwing Shade, we look at an issue important to ladies and an issue important to gay people and then we basically make fun of it. Yeah, and just to answer

your question, no, we don't have a marriage pact that if we don't get married by the time we're 30, we're going to do that fun of it. Yeah, and just to answer your question, no, we don't have a marriage pact but if we don't get married by the time we're 30, we're going to do that to each other.

No, that's true. Although we have each been divorced three times. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which we hear the things out there

in the world and then we come back in here into this very safe environment. And we share them. And we always like to start with the guest. And that's you, Erica. That's me.

Okay. Picture it. Bangkok. Bangkok. So I was in a little town called Invermere doing a show. In British Columbia? In British Columbia, just before I left for Southeast Asia. I'll tell you that story later.

We record these out of order. So, uh, I went into the thrift store, as you know, Graham, I like to do. Yeah. Um, go into the local thrift store and there was two women in the thrift. It was a very small town, very small thrift store. I think you, you're picturing it. Yeah, absolutely. And I hear the one woman who has established herself as she's the boss.

Right. And she's looking through a box of books. And she's like, oh. She's like, look, this is one of those books that goes back to front. And the other woman's like, what? She's like, the book, it goes back to front. And the woman goes, for dyslexia? Sure.

I literally spun around and just looked at this woman, and then the other woman goes, no, it's like, I think it's from Israel. She's like, what? And she goes, like for Jewish people. And she goes, we don't have Jewish people here. Thank you, small town. What's the population

of a place like Invermere? Two. Two, three, five, six, seven, eight. I'd say less than 10,000 probably. So like a small, like a proper small town. Yeah, it's like a small mountain town. Yeah, that is like, first of all, the idea that if you just printed everything backwards, that dyslexic people could like totally read it would be great.

Yeah. Like, oh, we cured it. Yeah. Could you imagine if that did work? Oh, brother. Have you tried reading in a mirror? The only thing I can read is ambulance. But the other, like you go to small towns and you go to these thrift stores.

Yeah. Like, I don't think I would like, if I lived in a small town, I don't think I would donate my stuff because you know everyone in the small town. So they would, there's Jeff's shirt and Dave's pants. I know. I wonder if they switch with, I actually got a really nice blazer, which you just reminded me is at the dry cleaner. Sorry, no. You're all right. $5.

Pretty great. That's pretty cheap dry cleaning. Yeah. No. Dry cleaning will be more than this garment that I've added to my collection. Yeah, exactly. Right. Because everybody knows everybody. more than this garment that I've added to my collection. Yeah, exactly, right? Because everybody knows everybody.

Like when my good friend, Joe Dean, was pregnant with Mala, my little god baby. Who you gave birth to? Who I gave birth to. I phrased that wrong, but. Who I delivered. Delivered. So people would bring by baby clothes for the baby, obviously. People would bring by baby clothes for me. And I. People would bring by baby clothes for me. And I was like, these don't fit, guys.

But $5, look at that. So there was this one little outfit that somebody had bought at the thrift store. And then Jodine didn't like it, so she gave back to the thrift store. She was given that same outfit three times. Wow. Oh, really? People just went to the thrift store, bought the baby thing. And I'm like, you got to stop sending that back to the thrift store.

Yeah, send it to another town. And people would know that you gave the thing that you gave their baby to the thrift store, right? Yeah, they're like, what are the odds? But still, like, you know that they bought something for your baby at a thrift store. I know. Brand new baby. your baby at a thrift store. I know. Brand new baby. But baby clothes.

Oh, it's totally like. Jodine once gave me an outfit that I clearly was not going to wear. But I was. I don't know how when somebody's like, do you want this? To be like, no. So, I just usually take it and go, thank you. And then donate it. Yeah. And so, I walked across the street to the little thrift store by my house,

donated it, and they loved the outfit, so they put it in their window. And 15 minutes later, I get a message from her, and she's laughing her head off because the outfit she just gave me was now hanging in the thrift store. How many hours between when she gave it to you and when it was in the window? It was less than an hour. It went straight. We, they were like. Oh, we've been waiting for one of these.

Sometimes I like to donate things and then go back and see how much they priced it at. Oh, that's not a bad idea. Yeah. And then buy them. I've always just donated to those, you know, the boxes and just thrown in there. Because they can't say no. Exactly. boxes and just thrown in because they can't say no have you ever seen uh because sometimes guys will go into that box and they'll you know sort through and take stuff and uh that's when you know

that you had some bad stuff if the guy in there is like nope nope yeah like going through your stuff and going no garb yeah you mean it didn't even make it to the thrift store? His shirt says, I'm a pepper. What does that even mean? It's a collector's item. You're reading it backwards. Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine is, I was at a playground with my baby and overhearing a couple of children's

talking to each other. Two children's. And they were yelling and having fun and like much has been made that people have given their kids stupid names. Or just like a name

that's like another name. It's not Kristen, it's Kirsten. And you're always having to correct or just like a name that's like another name. It's not Kristen, it's Kirsten. Oh, yeah, sure. And you're always having to correct other people. And I think I witnessed a kid correcting another kid for the first time, and it's going to be a lifetime of this kid correcting. It was a little boy, and the little girl yelled, Kevin! And the boy said, I'm not Kevin, I'm Eben!

And then the girl says, oh, Eben. No, not Eben. Eben. That kid should just pick Kevin. But it's just like, he had such a smile on his face. Like, oh, it was funny. You got my name wrong. It's going to be your entire life of people thinking you're Eben.

Eben. I don't understand the instinct to name the kid something so unique. I don't know. Yeah. Or something that's like, if you can't make a restaurant reservation, that's a name that they will like. Oh, yeah. Anything where you're going to have to spell it. You're putting that onto your kid for, what, your own vanity?

That you have a kid with a weird name? Even, like, I'm Dave, but when I order a coffee, well, I guess I'm Dave, but I've sometimes given Peter. Just because when they shout out Dave in a busy restaurant, it sounds like James, it sounds like Kate, it sounds like Gabe. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. But it seems like that. I mean, maybe it's happened every generation that there's always been people that have been like, I want the new, you know, hip name or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

Hazel's a pretty good name. I think it's making a comeback. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't mind the old names. I would love to meet a kid named George. Oh, but at the time. Like the prince? Yeah. Well, I haven't mind the old names. I would love to meet a kid named George. Oh, but at the time. Like the prince?

Yeah. Well, I haven't met him. I've just heard about him. At the time, we think of Hazel as an old lady name, but at the time it was a young, hip name. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's not biblical, I don't think.

It's just a color, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Was Agnes ever a cool name? Agnes. Agnes. Yeah, there's probably a lot of. There's one cool, the guy from ACDC is named Agnes ever a cool name? Agnes. Yeah, there's probably a lot of... There's one cool guy from ACDC named Agnes.

Angus. Angus. Well, come on. I'm dyslexic. I'm nominally dyslexic. It's also the name of a steak. All black, Angus. Yeah.

I guess Agnes probably was always... It means Lamb of God. It's, you know, some sort of librarian name. Yeah, sure. Like when your parents name you Agnes. Angus. Angus. You're like, you are gifted a pair of glasses with a little string around the back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a stamp. And you just like things quiet. I think i might be an agnes graham what's your deal uh my deal is i was also in a thrift shop uh and this is that's right and uh it was a young boy uh saying to dad, like, why he didn't want to move on to the next section. And the dad said, well, what are you doing over there? And the kid just brought dipping a toe into the world of sarcasm goes, oh, I don't know. There's just a giant pile of toys over there. So, you know,

babies for sarcasm. Yeah. That's fun. I don't know. Like, yeah, I think as a kid, I don't think I ever went to a thrift store.

I think, like, teenage times was when I first went. I don't think my parents took me shopping. Yeah. I don't, yeah,

I don't remember, but I think a thrift store would be the most fun place in the world. Yeah, unwrapped toys. Unwrapped toys that you can play with, throw around, nobody's going to get mad at you. Build your immune system. Absolutely. But it's a different, like now thrift stores are cool.

When I was a kid, all my clothes came from a thrift store because we were poor. But they're not all cool. No. There's some, you can go to a thrift store and get sat it out pretty fast. Yeah. But did you, as a kid, did you like try and hide the fact? Yes. Of my no-names.

Like everyone had Keds and I had like the ones that you had to draw the little blue tag on the back with a pen. Everybody knew. Everybody knew those weren't Keds. They were from Kmart. They were $5. I remember the big... The Keds were $6. There was a big thing when I was a kid that if you had Levi's,

they had the little red tag. But then there was also Levi's that had an orange. And it was just like, why are you even doing that, Levi's? Nobody wants the orange tags you're sending a signal to everybody that you don't have any money why would you do that to your customers because that it was it was it was uh but it was just where the orange ones cheaper yeah yeah yeah so i think it would so your parents would just know go directly to those like it was just like a flag for your parents in the store like let's not waste our time we're getting

you the cheap ones yeah maybe i i just felt bad because there was a lot of marker yeah trying to make that work but red and orange don't make red but you can just cut them off kid i know but then people are like what are you trying to hide i see some threads um yeah i i don't know the one thing about thrift stores that i've noticed that modern department stores do not have because i think thrift stores inherited them all uh are those racks that are kind of like a circle and kids can go hide in them. Yeah. Oh man. So much fun. So many memories of hiding in those racks. Did you ever get lost in a department store and your parents had to make an announcement?

Uh, grocery store, but never a department store. I got lost in a department store once and I had to go make an announcement. I think I'm lost. Can we find my family? Uh, yeah, we're looking for two parents that don't realize their kid is gone. I think it was like all my siblings were there too.

Oh boy. And don't think I wasn't made fun of by my sibling. Oh man. I'm a little boy. Yeah, I'm trying to find my family. I'm a big crier. Oh, I cried so much as a kid. Really?

I was real sensitive. Now I just do it in privacy, in my five-star hotel room. Were you a crier as a kid? You strike me as you would have been kind of like a tough, tough kid. Am I wrong about that? I was a tough kid. And even like my friends are like, you never cry.

But I cry at like, like when I was a kid, my next door neighbor, she had three kids and she was a single mom. And the dad brought the one kid home late. And he, I guess the dad did this all the time. And so she locked the kid out and like a dad just drove away and left the kid. I'm going to cry right now. And I was like, and the little kid was like, like mom wouldn't let him in.

And I was like bawling my head. I was outside with him and I was like, mom, and she won't let him in. And my parents were like, okay, calm down. It's not you. And I was like sobbing. Like if I see somebody else get their feelings hurt i'll cry way quicker than like myself yeah if somebody hears my feelings i get mad but like somebody else like i'm just like yeah it makes me that's true that's like a real

i can really see that the idea of somebody holding a birthday party or some kind of party and nobody's showing up oh oh that always like that always like yeah i think i've i probably have said this before like when i used to do birthday parties at mcdonald's and there would be like every once in a while like one kid and nobody would show up and you're just like like you would be the only kid who who shown up. No, no, no. I was the hostess. Oh, that's right. Of course. I was the 15-year-old birthday party hostess. Employee of the month. Yeah, employee of the month.

And then that kid, like, I would let that kid basically got to run the McDonald's. Like, I'm like, yeah, we're going to, let's go. We're going to work drive-thru. Do you want to put your watch in the deep fryer? Yeah. Anything you want, kid. Well, like, how, this is the question, though. How unpopular is a kid that kids would turn down a McDonald's birthday party?

Like, that's pretty serious. So you're blaming the victim. Yeah. A little bit. Well, unless, maybe, like, every other kid had chicken pox that week. Oh, yeah. I'm playing the angel's advocate. I'm trying to think of the best case scenario.

Angel's advocate. And I'm just playing angel's advocate over here. But maybe everyone was just going to, they were late because they were buying them extra presents. I would just tell them, I'm sorry, all your friends were killed in a car accident. Oh, yeah. That's why there's no one here. Sit down, Billy. Yeah, good news, bad news. They weren't really your friends. Good news, they were all killed in a car accident. That's why there's no one here. Sit down, Billy. Yeah, good news, bad news.

They weren't really your friends. Good news, they were all killed in a car accident. Bad news. It's really going to bury your birthday party. Good news, you get an extra cheeseburger. Yeah, you get to eat as many cheeseburgers as you can handle. They have pickles.

Now we also have overheard sent into us from people around the world. If you want to send one in to us, send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one sent in from Mark G. in Brooklyn. This is in Brooklyn, New York. Oh! I'm walking in. Breaking my balls here.

Yeah, we like it big. I'm going to throw a piece of dough in the air and I catch it. Trump. Recently, my wife and I were walking through our Brooklyn neighborhood on a lovely fall weekend afternoon. And as we walk by a park, we saw a few fathers playing baseball with their five and six-year-old kids. One kid that was at bat smacked a pretty good line drive single through the kid and dad infielders. And as he ran to first base, the action all seemed to converge on the right side of the field between everyone going for the ball and looking to cover the base. That's when one kid, who was not involved in the game, saw his opportunity.

He immediately sprinted from the bench near the third base towards home, sat right on the home plate in a perfect lotus position, clasped his hands in a thankful prayer gesture with a big grin on his face. No one seemed to know what to make of it, but the yoga kid sure was happy. That's the kid nobody shows up to his birthday. Everyone namaste's home. Thank you.

Pretty great. Thanks. But like, you could just picture that kid, like, just the kid that always does something weird. Well, I was picturing, because it was dads and kids playing baseball, that thing where the dad goes behind the kid and, like, makes sure he's got the right grip on the thing. Oh, yeah. And swings the bat with him. But then also in the infield, like a dad, they're sharing a glove and the dad's sort of puppeting the kids.

They're playing arms. Just a field full of dads. Yeah, with the kids like standing on their shoes. Oh boy. They should do that in between innings at a baseball game. Yeah. Now we've got dads and kids are going to play a quick little game. Oh boy, that would be cute.

Like when a dad dances with his daughter and she's standing on his feet. Adorable. That is pretty adorable. But the baseball version. This next one. But I guess in the dancing case, they're not pretending to be one person dancing. They start doing a break dancing are you ready for this we're gonna do a big spin um this uh next one comes from a gentleman named garvin in uh ireland marvin garvin silly, it's Garvin.

Megan? Drink up for Megan. I found my cousin playing Grand Theft Auto 4. She is only about six or seven. I asked her if her parents let her play this game because I hear it's for grownups. She said, oh, I'm the best at this game. I stop at all the traffic lights. I watched her playing it for a while, and sure enough, she stopped at all the traffic lights. I watched her playing it for a while and sure enough, she stopped at all the traffic

lights. That's great. So, for her, it's just who can drive the best. To play that game and not break any rules, you have to touch the button so lightly. Oh, sorry, there's someone crossing. Actually, you're not allowed to cross here, but

I'm not going to run you over. Yeah, just practicing four-way stops. You go. Oh, boy. Parallel parking. You know what? Never played any of the Grand Theft Auto games. That whole generation of games just really passed me by i think it was the stomping of the

the citizens was uh was the thing yeah you do have a thing about that yeah yeah yeah i got a real hang up about that well whatever you're real touchy um come over i have them and i haven't turned on my xbox in two years do you have them yeah i've got a couple of them yeah i would i i'm interested to see if i could play like this girl stop at all the traffic lights just drive around yeah yeah can you pick up groceries run over the prostitutes they never had a chance um this last one comes from uh alan g i am an attorney at a small law office in the Bronx. Oh! I object,

Your Honor. Hey, I'm trying. I'm litigating here. Oh, hey! Your Honor! The paralegals order breakfast during Saturday hours. The following was overheard after delivery

Paralegal 1 Mayonnaise is like gold around here Paralegal 2 You ever try mayonnaise mixed with ketchup? Paralegal 3 That makes mustard, right? Oh boy That would be great

If you just ran out of mustard or if just like every if there if there were just quick easy solutions to running out of condiments yeah or hiring a new paralegal yeah she's an idiot um yeah i wonder uh uh like have you ever been stuck with just one Condiment Like you've made You've already made the thing And then you're like I only have one of the Or I only have like

Dijon mustard For this hot dog I don't mind that I don't mind a fancy hot dog Well I guess you're a little If you only had Mustard or ketchup Which one

Which one is the Which would you take guys Oh like On a hot dog Just one or the other Let's say hot dog Or hamburger Oh Different answers for Okay Yeah Explain Hamburger Oh, like on a hot dog? Just one or the other? I'd say hot dog or hamburger.

Oh, different answers for. Okay. Yeah. Explain. Hamburger, ketchup. Hot dog, I think I'd be fine with just mustard. Okay. You're not, apparently there's a big thing that you're not supposed to put ketchup on a hot dog.

Really? And it's like, that's for children. If you, once you're an adult, it's, it's mustard only. But I say my hot dog, my mouth, my rules. I'm putting ketchup on it. Also, if I could just do relish, that'd be fine too. Also, eating a hot dog as an adult, it's still food for kids. It's not like, oh, well, now you're eating adult hot dogs.

Yeah, I mean, as an adult, the juice box protocol is. And you? I agree with Graham on this one. Mustard, definitely on hot dog. Yeah. I don't know. Probably mustard on a hamburger, too, though. I like mustard more than I like ketchup. Yeah, I'll eat it.

But, like, even with just, like, a pretzel, which goes perfectly with mustard, I'm like, not every bite needs mustard. That's true. But you know what's weird about ketchup is that I think it is 100% a thing I've been conditioned to put on things. I don't think I actually- Like it? I don't think so. I don't think if I hadn't grown up like, oh, this you just put ketchup on. I don't think I would be seeking it out.

Ketchup on your fries? Yeah. Like, again, it's kind of like after a couple, I'm like, okay, that's good ketchup wise. I really got into mayonnaise on fries for a while there. I'm a vinegar girl. Welcome to condiment hour. Oh, I don't hate it. Yeah.

There's a market for it. Did you know that if you mix ketchup and mayonnaise, you get mustard? Isn't that what the special sauce or whatever? Oh, isn't that the Big Mac? No, it's Thousand Island.

And mayonnaise? Or just Thousand Island dressing? Probably. Also, what is Thousand Island dressing? Where are the Thousand Islands yeah and it's got it's got chunks

of something in it right is it onion what is that what are those chunks like pickles you're looking at me like I worked at McDonald's yeah

well don't remember there was there was a day before you had to list ingredients where like the secret sauce the 11 herbs oh yeah like you didn't know

what those that's a yeah that's true right restaurants could just be like you're what those. That's a, yeah, that's true. Restaurants could just be like, excuse me. That's a secret. Is this gluten in this? We can't tell you. Are there peanuts in this?

No, that's none of your business, ma'am. Ma'am, it's none of your business. Get out. I think all these food allergies only came about once people learned what food, what was in food. Yeah, for a long time, people were blissfully just eating garbage and like diarrhea on their way over from kfc blissfully oh what a time to be in that's why all the cars have that vinyls it was just a different time. Wow.

Is that all the written-in ones? Yes. Oh, yeah. Brooklyn, a Bronx, and a third. Yeah. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. Beep-bop-boop. If you want to call us, the phone number is 206-339-8328, like these people have.

Hey, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Brian from Portland, Oregon. Got an overheard for you. I was walking down the hallway at a hotel and heard this little kid who was clearly in the bathroom yell to his mom, open the door. And she yells back, there's nothing we can do to

help with your pooping. And there's a long pause and he goes, actually there is. I thought this through. Let me see. Yeah, I'm going to need some help here. Bring a system of pulleys.

That seems to be a very popular phone call we get, or written in one, of just a kid yelling from the privacy of his own toilet. And I don't like them. No, but you know what? Once in a while, they're fun. Yeah. As the guy who screens the phone calls,

we get a lot of them, and people are pretty grunty about but recreating the moments oh like oh yeah yeah i get you it's uh it's a rare condition in this day and age oh yeah yeah to read any good news on the newspaper is that um family matters yeah yeah i'm uh doing a debate about tv thief songs so i've got them on my mind oh yeah it's family family matters is the one Family Matters? Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing a debate about TV Thief songs, so I've got them on my mind. Oh, yeah. Family Matters is the one about the nanny? No, funny

thing, that's Mr. Belvedere. Oh, okay. He's the guy who drop-kicked his jacket. Yeah. Here's your next phone call. Sad on my balls. Hey, guys and guests. This is Terrell calling from Chicago, and we just had our big Comic-Con comic book convention, Hey, guys and guests. This is Terrell calling from Chicago. And we just had our big Comic-Con comic book convention.

And it was about 30 minutes after the doors had opened. And we were walking along. And there was a couple. And the wife seemed to be really angry. And she said, theoretically, how much money have you already spent? Oh, boy. And the guy just kind of hung his head and said, you don't want to know. I feel like Comic-Con is the modern era equivalent of a couple going to Vegas and one of them blowing a lot of money. Because you're just buying, what, figurines at a Comic-Con?

Lots of figurines, maybe? I don't know what you're buying. And signed pictures, I think. Yeah, a lot of signed pictures. We just have to land one role in some sci-fi thing, and then you're set for the rest of your life. We, a long time ago, passed uh gary jones i am familiar he was on uh stargate stargate and that's what that means

it loses a bit in translation but it's not bad yeah it's not bad but would that but he also wasn't like he didn't play Stargate he wasn't the title character he wasn't John Stargate trying to make it work single dad John Stargate

trying to make it work inventor of the Stargate uh no he was the guy who controlled he was kind of like the uh scotty of star trek he was the guy controlled the stargate so he was in a lot of episodes but like yeah he just signs in like people pay for whatever and what a great life yeah it's pretty like that, like, you know, the people who were originally, whoever's left from Star Trek, that's probably their living, right? Graham and I, had you ever been to this place before? We went to a Maximum Fun meetup at the Stormcrow. Oh, the Stormcrow, yeah.

The nerd bar, where you can get, like, Romulan ale and, like, Stargate souffle or whatever. Starcake. Starcake. Starcake. Has you ever been before? Yep. But it's because it's right up the street from Havana. And that was, I felt not nerdy enough. But I also felt like the waitresses were like uh like over it yeah well you would

you would right i think if you were like i always picture uh the janine grafflo and uh cable guy oh yeah at the yeah and they're like get me another uh flagging of a little wen. She's like, okay. Like, it's a job. You know. Do we have another? We have one final phone call, guys, and this is the final phone call of 2016. Oh my god. Hi, David Graham. This is Katie in Ohio, coming in with an overheard.

This was at a bar last week, and it was two guys who, from very specific things they said earlier in the conversation, were both gay gentlemen. And they hadn't seen each other in a while. They were just catching up. The one guy asked the other one who'd been doing recently. And he said, oh, I'm in a great place right now.

Everything's really working out. I'm doing a lot of things that I'd always wanted to do. And I'm finally directing a production of The Vagina Bot. Well, good. Yeah. Pretty good.

Your bucket list. Yeah. I don't understand. Is that, is it the same monologues or is it people bring their own monologues? Their own puppet.

Those are the vagina dialogues Dave say I went to see that show in Bangkok the vagina dialogue

yeah oh sorry I can't take out my diva cup and then etc ah now I sound

fine these are these are my diva, and then et cetera. Ah, I said, now I sound fine. These are, these are gags from that. Have you seen the vagina monologue? I have not. Uh, I did see a production of it when it was like first thing,

I think, but I don't know. Like, I don't know if what I saw was the touring show of it, or if that was a local variant of it. And I assume you get to, from what I understand it, they're all different. Like, you bring your own. Vaginas, yes. Yeah, but like, the monologues are there.

Like, you maybe even write your own? Yeah, that's what I don't know. Or, yeah, is it like an open mic where people are just like, come up, just share your experience. I wrote the music for my own, and Bernie Taupin wrote the words. He's hard to get. Well, no, he's got plenty of time. He doesn't tour.

Oh, that's true. That brings us to the end of this episode. Thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you for having me. I'm glad your voice is back. Me too. I'm glad you're back safe and sound in the country. Me three. I'm glad you're not hanging out at every

airport in the world on holy hours. Yeah. Do you have anything? This is going to come out April 11th. Do you have anything that's coming up that you want to plug? I will be in Calgary from April 21st to the 23rd performing.

You're going to miss 420. I will. It's my favorite holiday. I'll be there at the Laugh Shop. Nice. I will be at Heckler's in Victoria the weekend prior to that. Oh, great. Yeah.

Yeah. Great time. If you've not seen Erica Sigurdsson live, I insist you do so because it's a real treat. I will sign a picture and charge you $12. Yeah, a picture of you opening the Stargate. Boop. It's a button. Yeah, here we go.

Beep. Oh, go in now. Now. No, you missed it. Time it now. Now. No, you missed it. Time it again. Now. And if you like the show, head on over to MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recap.

Pictures and videos relating to the content of this episode. You know, maybe a picture from Stargate. Picture of the Stargate, maybe. Or a Starcake, if you can find one. Oh, I'm sure I can find a Starcake from the TV show Starcake. What else did we talk about? McDonald's. Goat Mug.

Prop Comics. It's going to be a Goat Mug. Goat Mug. Oh, the Goat Mug, for sure. I hear there's a fun video. There will be. Hell yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, there is already in existence.

There's a really funny review of the Goat M mug, which if you find that, this guy on YouTube does a quite hilarious review of it. And then grandma are going to goat mug it up and we'll pay. Oh, yeah. We're going to go with our matching goat mugs. Is the video hilarious because he doesn't like it? Yeah. One of my favorite type of videos. Did you see this video before or after

you bought it after because he reviews he reviews kickstarters and so he that's a really I could get into that

in a big way watching somebody review bad kickstarters and if you like the show please tell your friends. You can leave a review on iTunes. And anything else?

No. All right. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.