Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 425 - Gabe Liedman

Episode Date: May 9, 2016

Comedian Gabe Liedman joins us to talk sexy hippies, Entourage, and skipping school.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 425 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who claims he has nothing this week for Get to Know Us. But I don't believe him, Mr. Dave Shumka. Oh, you spilled the beans.

But, you know, I think you're going to come up with something. Oh, I know. Since saying that, I've come up with like two great things. Yeah, see? But one of them is that I finally saw the Entourage movie. So wait for that. Oh, boy, yeah. Don't skip ahead. No skipping ahead.

And our guest today, guest visiting from Los Angeles, first time guest on the podcast, a very funny comedian, Mr. Gabe Liedman. Hi. Hi. Hi. Thank you for being a guest on the podcast, a very funny comedian, Mr. Gabe Liedman. Hi. Hi. Hi. Thank you for being a guest on the podcast. Thanks for having me. I'm thrilled.

Well, we're thrilled. I mean, so much thrill going around. Thrill's in the air. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Should we get to know us? Uh-huh. Get to know us.

So you're up here visiting. You've been up here for three weeks? Yeah. And this is like now Vancouver's like home number two. Home number two. Yeah, definitely. And you drove up here from L.A. Yes.

And that was the most fun? It was so fun. We planned it so that none of our drives were more than four hours. Smart. So it took almost two weeks. So it's like a very long vacation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was cool.

And like. We really saw everything, I think. Have you ever done anything like that before? Like a big, like. Not that far. Like a fun road trip. Yeah, like for a day or two. Yeah, me too.

But never like as a lifestyle. Me neither. Have you done like a big road trip? Not like without my parents. No, yeah, me neither. I just. And not without my daughter on VHS. But like, I feel like growing up, you know, you read like On the Road or something like that.

And you're like, you just assume like when I'm an adult, I travel so many places. I'm going to wear such tight t-shirt. I'm going to roll up my sleeve past my elbow. And what else? What else do you do when you're a beatnik? Oh, boy. Smoke. Yeah, smoke. I. Yeah, smoke.

I'm going to smoke. Listen to jazz. Discover jazz. You're just going to hate the man. Oh, yeah. Oh, I hate the man. For now. Yeah.

But then I never did. I never went on a big, fun road trip or anything like that. That's kind of weird. Yeah. I always assumed I would. But, like. Still time? Nah.

No? Nah. I don't know what to do now. Oh, shit. It seems less romantic in Tercelle. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Like, those 50s and 60s road trips with.

Giant cars. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Like, yeah, maybe there's still time. But now what would I do? Like, I feel like all the other people on road trips would all be young. You just Instagram the whole thing.

That's all I did. You just do it for the grants. Stop in a gift shop, find the dumbest thing. Instagram. Okay, my day is accomplished. Yeah. I would just drive an hour around to different gift shops in one town. I'm exhausted.

I gotta find out. I really did it today. Was there a highlight of the drive? Yes. There were, well, there were several highlights. But yeah, we, the middle of Oregon, we drove through thing that was very not me, but it turned out to be awesome where we took a hike into the woods and found natural like hot springs. Oh, wow. Yeah.

And went in, which I'm like, you did that? Like, I would never think that would ever be something I would do. See, this is this on the road stuff. That's what I'm saying. And up there, there were really hot hippies. Okay. Like hippies that you think don't exist like i was like we're gonna get up there and it's just gonna be like some real weirdos like some real leathery

yeah and like just nothing on but a weird hat you know yeah just like hey but it was like super hot sexy hippies and. And it was awesome. Yeah. To look at them and be like, you exist? This exists? Yeah. Did you just walk up a hill? I've never seen a sexy hippie.

Exactly. Like, I feel like I've seen a lot of white guys with crazy big dreadlocks. Who's a famous sexy hippie? Probably, I don't know, Was Janis Joplin? Lenny Kravitz? I was going to say, does McConaughey count? Yeah, I guess so. He's got it in his blood.

But like, wasn't Janis Joplin when she was a poster girl for the hippie? Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah, sure. But also she was kind of tough looking. Jimi Hendrix was a hot hippie. Yeah, yeah. Jim Morrison.

Yeah. Was he a hippie? Was he a hippie. Yeah. Yeah. Jim Morrison. Yeah. Was he a hippie? Was he a hippie or just he has like a scary LSD guy? I think of him more as like just like a shaman. Yeah. Kind of the light, if you will. Yeah. I feel like.

I don't. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. But there haven't been too many hot hippies between Joplin and Kravitz. It's true. Like how I'm holding on to that? Yeah.

Like, I can't even think of who would be a modern day. Well, McConaughey. McConaughey. Maybe Miley Cyrus? Okay, sure. That's a new kind of hippie, but I see it. Yeah, like she kind of is into the like flower power kind of, yeah. The blonde British character from Girls.

Well, that is so funny because that's exactly who we kept on saying all the girls at the Hot Springs looked like. We were like, that looks like Jessa. No, that looks like Jessa. No, that looks like Jessa. But yeah, totally. And isn't she the actress? Yeah. She's actually kind of a hippie. And isn't she the actress? Yeah.

She's actually kind of a hippie person, isn't she? I think so. She comes across as one. Yeah, I remember seeing some picture of her in her house out in the woods somewhere. Oh, you know who? Joanna Newsome. Oh, okay. Who's Joanna Newsome?

She's like an elfin folk singer who plays the harp oh that's like her songs are sometimes like 17 minutes long and about like a bell that fell down the stairs literally she might be the best we have right now yeah that that that fits the bill. And so, like. But you're not normally, like, Hot Springs guy. Oh, no. Yeah, like, I'm, like, barely a pool guy. Yeah. You know, like.

Yeah, me neither. So, like, and I, like, I live in L.A. now, so I, quote, unquote, like to hike. But, like. It's walks.A. now, so I, quote unquote, like to hike. It's walks. Yeah. You know? So this was like definitely like up a steep mountain and then like getting in water with hippies on a cliff. Yeah.

Which is very out of, yeah, very out of my reality. Like you didn't think getting in the car, starting this journey, that it would end up. No. And if I did, it was like that was on a list with 9 million other possibilities. I was like, well, we're never actually going to do that. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, maybe we'll carve our own canoe. Who knows?

Because you were living for a long time. You were living in New York. Yes. Now you live in LA. Yeah. So is there pressure from people like, let's go outside and do stuff outside and like, let's go on a hike? It's like definitely part of the culture.

But it's a like, it's also like a very welcome change from New York. Okay. Where it's like a lot of times you're just like batting it down the hatches and trying to get through life, you know, to be like it gets now after three years, I'm like, Oh,

it's nice out every day. But for the first three years I was like, Oh my God, it's nice out today. Let's go outside. Gabe's running through the sprinkler again. Oh, again.

And it's like, no one tell him it never changes. But like, uh, yeah, I don't, cause it's a big part of the culture here and I don like, yeah, I don't, cause it's a big part of the culture here and I don't participate. Going outside?

Yeah. Going outside or hiking or, you know, let's go to the beach. And I'm just like, eh, maybe we'll reconvene our friendship in September. I'm more of a,

like I'm less of a let's do this and more of a beach guy. Like I'm like, let me go to the beach. I don't want to probably stay as long as the rest of you. I don't want to wait around while you do your stuff. I love like a 40 minute trip to the beach. Oh. Like just sit there for 40 minutes and then leave.

Yeah. You're like, you're speaking my language. Yeah. Because we had like, Abby and I had it timed out that we were always, like, 90-minute outings. And we've done a thing today. So let's reward ourselves with 22 and a half hours of nothing. But, like, I feel like when people go to the beach, or at least this is my, you know, view of them is that they go to the beach and it's a whole day. It's a whole day.

Yeah. But that's insane it's insane like spending the whole day out in the sun is insane yeah like maybe in the 50s it was like it's the best thing for you but now it's like yeah it's also just boring as fuck like it's relaxing until you get bored so it's whatever whatever your threshold is. And then you're like, am I an asshole for pulling out my phone at the beach? I got to raise the brightness all the way to see it in this goddamn sun. But like sometimes, yeah, like people will be just at the beach just like lying there. Yeah. All day.

Yeah. And they'll read like a whole magazine or something. Yeah. Or they'll just sleep. Yeah. And I'm like, what? What kind of hobo fantasy are you people living? Even like a chair and an umbrella will buy me like 10 minutes extra.

That'll go from 40 to 50. That's it. But that's like if you got a chair and umbrella, then all of a sudden it's like a driving trip and you gotta like pack a thing. Yeah. Carry it. Yeah. Like there got to like pack a thing. Yeah. Carry it. Yeah. Like there's no like casual beach trips. It's always like I got to bring everything to survive.

A cooler. A blanket. Some kind of book. Yeah. Sunscreen. I'm just imagining, was it the cover of Summer Rental, the John Candy movie? You know, where he's carrying all the things. Yeah.

You know, he's carrying all the things. Yeah. That's how I picture myself at the beach is like the one guy who's like carrying all of his belongings. Everybody else is like looks just great and they're unencumbered. And I've got a cooler and some inflatable toy. Why do I have an inflatable toy? And wouldn't it be better to inflate it at the beach rather than carry it? No, I inflate it using my hair dryer at home.

That way hot air rises. And you're originally from Philadelphia. That's not beach. That's not beach country. No, you have to get through New Jersey to get to the beach. So the Jersey Shore is Philly's beach. Did you, when you were younger, you go to the Jersey Shore? Yeah. Yeah.

In Atlantic City. Oh my God. Yeah. So tell us all about it. It is garbage. It's not so bad. It's like beautiful. Yeah.

And then, you know, just like any weird beach town, the people who live there are out of their minds. Yeah. That is true about like these kind of like resort, like resort towns. Yeah. Right. People who are not just kind of visiting are just like super hardcore weird. Yeah. It's like, well, why would you want to live next to like a place that's like flooded with

millions of tourists? Tourists. Yeah. And then super empty during like the school year. Yeah. It's like haunted during, like it's the perfect place for the wrestler to be shot. Yes, exactly.

Exactly. Yeah. What's the weirdest? Are there any other like super weird cities that you've been to? Like where you can't even imagine who lives here? I went to, like years ago when I was, on tour in the UK, I stayed for two nights in a place called Blackpool,

which was kind of like the Jersey Shore. Like, it's kind of, it has, like, a carnival and a boardwalk. Oh, and it's like a bachelorette party destination? Like, it is the, like, if you're in England and you're going to go gonna go like outside of your city for a bachelor bachelor party that's the city that you go to yeah so all of the bars are made up for that and then how do you have a local bar or like a local restaurant if you're if you're if you live there what do you what do you go to yeah like the

locals are all wearing like penis hats like but there were people who lived there like there's people who worked in the bars and like you know operated the like hotels and stuff and um but it was like i asked somebody who's working the bars bar, I was like, is this year round? And they're like, this is year round. This happens. Oh, my God. Every Friday, Saturday night, just like assholes. And it'll never stop.

No, because that's their whole economy. Yeah. But then on Sunday morning, like we're walking down the beach from the hotel to the boardwalk, and it was just like underwear everywhere on the beach and just like empty bottles everywhere. Had there been a Tom Jones show there? Oh, yeah, I forgot. Weekly Tom Jones concerts in Blackpool. That is unusual.

The one, the weirdest, I remember going to Palm Springs and then outside Joshua Tree, there are these towns that are just like, I guess this is where meth is. Yeah. It's just like everything, everything is bleached out. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

All of there's like. Meth California. Yeah. Yeah. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. And that whole area is so eerie because of the wind farms that you try yeah like in between towns is just like turbine after turbine as far as you can see

which is great but it's also just spooky for some reason there's something that's so odd about going through that it's like silent but huge and deadly and deadly. Yeah, totally. Look, my farts. That's what the wind farm is all about. Did you guys drive through any of these weird kind of, yes, there was one town that I don't know how messy it was. Probably pretty messy,

but it was like, it was a cowboy town in the most literal sense. Like you drew, drove just through beef farms for like a long time. Right. And then there was a town that just had one street with like a saloon on it and like a pie shop. And then there was only one in,

in town. And we stayed there and it was this old Victorian haunted ass place just run by obviously a maniac who was obviously spying on everybody

and like we just like parked and we were like okay the only business is the saloon that sounds good I'll take a beer and we went there and there was like two of like the darkest drunks you've ever seen just there with their eyes closed, basically. And we like sipped some beers and then a literal cowboy with spurs on walked in and ordered a drink and like kissed the bartender who was, I guess, his girlfriend. Okay. All right okay we were like what the fuck is happening

it was amazing wow and he had like a trailer with two horses like parked in front wow and you were like we agreed to only drive

for four hours so this is it this is it the weird thing is it was in a weird town next to kind of a

bigger town that like once we drove through it we were like oh this is like more kind of like almost a city or like it's a normal town in california yeah it was at the very top of california and like they this hotel had just somehow yelp bombed everyone because if you learned that you stayed yeah yeah because we both had been searching for hotels in the bigger city next to it and the top rated one was this one haunted one way outside of town like an hour outside of town yeah the reviews are all like it's so good

i didn't feel like any of the paintings were following me with their eyes. But like... It was crazy. Like a guy wearing spurs. Like I don't even know what spurs are for. Which is... Burning a horse. I guess, yeah.

Making a horse go, Yell! This guy means business. My friend keeps scratching me. Poor horses. What a weird life. Yeah. We're going to put shoes on your feet.

Weird metal shoes. We're going to nail them to your feet. Yeah. To your feet that are already hammers, basically. Yeah, but you're not going to notice, I guess. Yeah. And then we're going to put a little thing on your back. And blind you. Blind you. You're just going to walk a little thing on your back. And blind you.

And you're just going to walk straight for us forever. Yeah. Sometimes we're going to jab you. And run so fast we can't believe it. Yeah. And if we have you in the city, you'll have to poo in a bag that's hanging down. But you'll also eat out of a bag, and sometimes we'll forget which one it was. Are you guys cool with that?

Yeah. From now on, your whole life's gonna be blinders and bags so um but it's also like what is that town

how does it how is it a town if it's just like the one street yeah the Scooby Doo hotel I guess

keep the lights on see what we'll do is we'll just murder the patrons look there's the cowboy he's doing yeah i think it's a it's just a farm town they don't really need a main street beyond a pie shop and a saloon i love that one of the two businesses is a pie it's a pie shop and they were like you've got to go to the pie shop it's like yeah we literally have to there's fucking we'll starve yeah we're thinking about going to the pie shop or the tree should we do the tree or the pie shop

but like yeah i guess i don't know i guess yeah cowboys yeah cowboys eat pies sure sure boy i reckon they do yeah also it's probably like a place that people are like oh if you go two towns over you gotta have a piece of this pie. Oh, yeah. Like there's probably not another pie shop for like 50 miles in any direction. It's like small town Hamilton. Oh, you've just got to. So the trip was like a roaring success.

It was a roaring success. Yeah, totally. It was beautiful. But you're flying back. Flying back. Oh, yeah It was a roaring success. Yeah, totally. It was beautiful. But you're flying back. Flying back. Oh, yeah. It wasn't that roaring. Oh, yeah.

You don't need to see it twice. No, yeah. Like you did it. And I feel like that's like a cool trip to take because it's like there's like coastline and there's like different. Yeah, we went to every city too. So like. Just dope. San Francisco, Portland. How is San Francisco? It's cool. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. coastline and there's like different yeah we went to every city too so like dope san francisco portland how is san francisco it's cool yeah yeah yeah definitely check it out if you're not being

i went i just went to alcatraz all right a short stint yeah because my it was my mom's birthday so we went on like a cruise because like these cruise ships have to like go down to the states and then turn around to go back up to alaska uh-huh so they have these like short cruises that you get on here and then like cool uh maybe you could take the cruise back but then they stop in san francisco for like eight hours or whatever so we're like we can only do one thing in san francisco so we went to alcatraz did you go to alcatraz i didn didn't. Well, you're not missing much. But I saw it from the bridge or whatever. I mean, you go in there and you're like, yeah, this totally was a prison. Yeah.

I've seen the rock. Yeah. So you've seen the best of what it has to offer. And it's like, now it's a bird sanctuary. That's how they've kept it open. That seems nice. But the birds are all just seagulls. So you're like, bleh.

Yeah, like they need sanctuary. Yeah, these things are fucking everywhere. They're just always fucking screaming, too. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I know. And like, they seem like they got a little bit of blood on their lip, but they don't. They also don't have lips. Right, right, right, right.

That would be so terrifying if birds, like, instead of squawking at you, just would make a kissing noise at you. Yeah. When you walk by. I think we'd be used to it by now. I don't know. I don't think I could ever get used to it. Also, if you saw birds that had ears, like human ears. Yeah.

Yeah, that'd be weird. That'd freak me out. Yeah, bud. What about people feet? If they just had normal people feet instead of claws? Would they be proportionally sized? Yeah, but they'd be fleshy and they'd have five toes. Oh, gross.

Five toes, oh yeah. I mean, I'm not that enamored with bird feet to begin with. Yeah, they're kind of worse. I see them in the grocery store all the time. They really look dinosaur-y. Yeah, that's how you can tell. Yeah, but like this whole conversation is freaking me out, man.

Birds with ears and feet. And did you do it? Have you done anything fun while you've been in town? I did your show last night. That was fun. And you were talking about how much you love Game of Thrones. Oh yeah, I watch Game of Thrones. And you watch it.

Vancouver Treat. I've never seen it. I gave up last year because I never knew everyone's name. Yeah, I still don't. I still don't,

for sure. But is it a show that I should get into? Yes. And the best way to watch, I mean, it's a show you should

start from the beginning and it's like the funn best way to watch what I mean, it's a show you should start from the beginning. And it's like the funnest show to watch with without like weekly breaks. Okay. You know, it's all about hangers and they and big surprises. So it's great to just be able to keep watching it. Okay. Maybe I'll get it. Yeah.

It's like it. That is the worst genre on earth. Like, I really hate everything that's like it, but there's something about that that is the actual show that I like. Yeah. Like what? But what do you think it is that you like about it? All of the fucked up blood and sex that's missing from like blood and Lord of the Rings is like comes at such a cost of boredom. is like comes at such a cost of boredom.

You know, it's like you have to watch them like, like walk in a straight line and sing a song for like three hours before the battle that is itself so boring. Yeah. Like I sometimes I'll be like, I did. I forgot they were still in a battle. Yeah, totally. It goes on for like 25 minutes. so you're so numb to it. Yeah, and it's like 80% of it's fake.

You know, it's just like... Well, it's all fake. What do you mean by that? But yeah, Game of Thrones is just like gnarly. There's something about it that's so fucked up, and you're always just like, whoa, what? I'm surprised I made it as long as I did, because it's not a genre I've ever gotten to before.

Yeah. But I feel like that's probably a lot of people's experience. Because it's like, isn't it the most popular show? It's up there. Like, on Earth or whatever? Is it? Yeah. Yeah.

Or like, at least in the top three. Yeah. And it's like, there must be something about it that people are like, yeah. Because like, fantasy things aren't that big. Oh, yeah. No, it's like there must be something about it that people are like, yeah, because like fantasy things aren't that big. Oh, yeah. No, it's. Yeah. But it is the blood and the sex and the swearing.

And like. Yeah. It's the sugar, the magic. Yeah. Yeah. Blood, sugar, sex, magic. The crazy, the sexy, the cool. Yeah.

There are waterfalls. Sure. there are waterfalls sure but yeah like i just uh i guess i didn't get into it because of the fantasy thing like where you have to learn like oh in this world the door is called uh you know bug along and you're like like even when uh i'll watch like a sci-fi thing, and there's, like, a bit of a thing on the screen that tells you, like. I can't think of a single sci-fi movie that has, like, a scroll of what's going on. Not even a scroll. Like, just a front, you know, that tells you, like.

Right. You got to know this thing, and this army took over this thing. And you're like. Like, this feels like. It's homework. History class now. Yeah. Who are the guys? You know what? this thing and this army took over this thing. And you're like, like this feels like it's homework history class. Now I'm just going to, uh,

who are the guys? You know what I hate about sci-fi movies is fucking creatures. Like I hate creatures. It's there's so fucking boring. And I feel like they're always like the point of the movie. Well, tolerance for creatures. Sure. Okay. is like the point of the movie you know well tolerance sure for creatures

sure okay but it's like yeah it's so boring where they're just like this is a person but with like a green

three green ears at the top of their head can you fucking believe it this guy had to sit in a chair for 14 hours before we shot two seconds

two seconds can you fucking believe it so yeah like uh a friend of the show caitlin howden she says she doesn't watch any movies that have goblins in it so she counts like lord of the rings star wars any sci-fi movie anything with goblins in it i won't watch it uh but yeah i guess like i don't know but what about superhero movies does that fall we'll watch it. But yeah, I guess like, I don't know.

But what about superhero movies? Does that fall? Do those fall in that same? I was really liking them until it seems like we have like 400. Yeah. It really like they reached a boil a year and a half ago where it's just like, holy shit, we can't,

we like, we can't make other kinds of movies. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, and they're like, they're the next next 10 years of them is already planned out. We're only getting like 80 more. Yeah.

But then you'll hear the last minute, like, oh, Batman v Superman was too dark, so they have to reshoot this other movie, or Suicide Squad. Oh, no, you've got to make it funnier, more Deadpool-y. Yeah, like, I was watching one. I used to like all of them, even bad ones, I think. Or I'd be kind of psyched when the one would come out every year. Yeah, because there was one. Yeah.

Like, it was like, oh, every five years, if you're good, you'll get a new Batman movie. And every three years, we'll try a Spider-Man. We'll try. movie and uh every three years we'll give you we'll try a spider-man we'll try and then uh yeah then it's like i was watching uh what is the the second captain america last night okay yeah and i was like soldier yeah and even in that i was like who is this guy why is this who is this guy like there was just like stuff that i feel like they're like well if you read the comics you would know that this guy is a thing and i did read the comics and i still don't know i feel like they're like, well, if you read the comics, you would know that this guy is a thing. And I did read the comics,

and I still don't know who these guys are. I feel like we... Anytime I make fun of nerd stuff on this show, I get a bunch of messages from nerds saying, hey, don't make fun of nerd stuff. We're the underdog, just because every movie is made for us. Every piece of culture

is now at our disposal and billions are spent. There's an entire industry to entertain me. But don't make fun of the thing I like. I don't make fun of the one thing you like, Moneyball.

Yeah. But I also feel like if you liked comic books right uh when you were when back in the day like they wouldn't stick to the comic book at all like tim burton's batman he was just like i'll just make up my own batman yeah and you just had to be like i guess it's i guess it's all right. And now it's like all the things and there's hidden references. Well, I'm excited because Ben Affleck wrote and is going to direct a Batman movie. Really? Yeah.

Which is like, I think everyone should get a crack at whatever. I want to see like. I want to see a Seth Rogen Batman movie. Yeah, exactly. Although I guess that's what the Green Hornet basically was. I want to see an Ang Lee Hulk. movie. Yeah, exactly. Although I guess that's what the Greenhorn I want to see an Ang Lee Hulk. Oh, we did.

Right, right, right. Oh, remember when that came out and everybody was like so excited and then most people were like, what the fuck was that? Remember when I got so

stoned and watched it and loved it? When he was like, boing, boing. Yeah, it was very... I straight up loved it. Would probably hate it if I watched it today. Yeah. You see Eric Bana?

Yeah. Unstoned? I have never seen anything unstoned, to be honest. I don't think it would be doing it justice, whatever it is. Like, I want to honor the filmmaker's work. But yeah, I just remember seeing that in the theater with like, I think it was 100% bros. Where they're like, man, Hulk is going to Hulk some Hulk. And then it was mostly like, Hulk, contemplate it.

Hulk is a scientist. I think. And he bounces around. And he's sad. He goes in the desert. He's sad for a while. He throws a tank around. Is Gary Busey in it or Nick Nolte? Nick Nolte.

Gary Busey is definitely not. Why isn't he in any of the superhero movies? Yeah. Why can't he be the new Joker? Oh, wow. Like, you just sold a movie. Yeah, that's huge. You just sold eight movies.

We've got the next 16 years of Busey is the Joker planned out. And then, like, I don't know. See, I will rag on these comic book things, but I do like them. But I just feel like... I see most of them, but I'm less psyched. Yeah.

But I'm still seeing them for the most part. Yeah. In some form. I used to see them, and I used to convince myself. Like that Hulk movie, I was like, all right. Interesting. Yeah. I see what they were going for there. Avengers 1 movie I was like all right interesting yeah yeah I see what they were going for Avengers 1 I was like yeah I loved it even though it was so stupid I was still

so psyched on that shit yeah yeah yeah it was the same when Iron Man came yeah like oh this is amazing but then it's like it's like these other things that I'm like was anybody a fan of Ant-Man was anybody a fan of Thor like these? Was anybody a fan of Thor? Like, these guys getting their own movies. I'm like, Dr. Strange is getting it. I'm like, whoa, that was a guy, like, if you bought a bunch of comics at a garage sale and they had Dr. Strange, you'd just leave them in the bush on the way. I don't think Dr. Strange is anybody's favorite. Probably not.

Right? No. One weird kid. A movie for me. There hasn hasn't been a doctor strange movie yeah what's his name benedict cumberbatch and there was like i this is so boring but on twitter i thought there was like no the newest the newest like wave of like casting outrage outrage about a white person playing a non-white character is in that. Tilda Swinton is playing a character that was Tibetan. Oh, boy.

And in order to make Chinese theaters say, well, show this, they changed the character to Irish. Because, you know, China fucking hates Tibet. Right. So the closest they could come to Irish, I guess, is the... So they're like, no, no, no, she's not playing Tibetan. We changed the character to white to sell it more. Tilda Swinton, the closest thing that Hollywood has to any kind of agent kind of our

Dolly Lama yeah she is but yeah is she oh I had no idea I had no idea that that was a thing

yeah I know Scarlett Johansson just happened today on Twitter oh wow oh boy hot scoop yeah hot scoop

I hate that I shared that no I love that you shared it it was in the who are you are you gonna did you just break a story here that you shared that. No, I love that you shared it. It was in the... Who are you? Did you just break a story here? Yeah. Are you going to get no? Watch it be 100% false.

We're not the nation's number one trusted news source. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well. A couple things. I heard a rumor Well You were mentioning Crazy Sexy Cool before And I was playing some TLC for my daughter So she you know

She's gotta learn about Lisa All the songs have lessons in them Yeah Feeling Unpretty Yeah Body Acceptance Not Going for Scrubs Yeah or Waterfalls Creepin' have lessons in them. Yeah. About feeling unpretty. Yeah. Body acceptance. Not going for scrubs. Yeah.

Or waterfalls. Creeping. Yeah, absolutely. And I was, there was, they had a song called Creep. Stone Temple Pilots had a song called Creep.

Radiohead had a song called Creep. All within like two years and then silence on the Creep front ever since. Interesting. Yeah, that was that that that was they were all singles it wasn't like they were deep album cut like now is great for comic

book nerds that time was really great for creeps yeah they're like finally somebody's acknowledging i'm not a creep from that song i'm the creep from this song i don't identify with that creep at all. Let's see. Really broken up about Kelly and Michael. Yeah, the big split. Who do you think? I'm team Regis all the way. You think they're going to bring Regis back? No, I just feel for him.

Yeah. But who do you think would be a good replacement now that Michael's... Ant-Man. How dare you? Doctor Strange. What's Ant-Man? Like, how does he train? Does he have a secret identity?

Do people know he's Ant-Man? Does anyone care in that universe? You wouldn't like me when I'm tiny? Is this a thing he says? He, I don't know. I think it's like he goes small, but he then still has the strength of a guy. Oh, okay. But wouldn't you want ant strength?

Well, maybe he has ant strength. I don't know. Maybe he has ten times the strength. That would be the worst to go down to ant size but have no ant strength. And an ant just steps on your head. But also he can

talk to ants and ride around on ants. That's true! That's from the movie. Talk to him. Could he summon so many ants that they would be like an escalator for him? Yeah. Like a moving sidewalk?

There's a scene where a bunch of ants join up and turn into a raft so that he could go down a river on ants. Which is better than water. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, do you want to just swim, or do you want to ride on a bunch of ants? I guess.

Will the ants die? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, it hurts them very badly. Ants aren't aquatic creatures, you idiot. Yeah, so I'm really following this Kelly and Michael thing. Apparently she handled it with a plomb. A plomb? A plomb?

A bomb. She was on holiday when it all, like, he announced that they had a guest. Well, when I announced I was leaving this show. Oh, yeah, I was on holiday. Oh, wait, it hasn't happened yet. Oh, I'm also going on holiday. Okay, cool. Um, and yeah, the other thing is I finally watched the Entourage movie. Oh, I'm also going on holiday. Okay, cool. And yeah, the other thing is I finally watched the Entourage movie.

Oh, boy. I saw that. Me too. I saw it in the theater. Yes. Because it was summertime and I wanted air conditioning so bad. So bad. Yeah.

Air conditioning is great. It's the best. It's better than the Entourage movie. Do you, in your home in Los Angeles, do you have air conditioning? I do now, yeah. I would never leave. Yeah, it's important. It's important.

I mean, it kills the environment. There's no doubt about that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's so comfy, though. Yeah. Yeah.

I know. And, like, anytime I'm in a hotel with it, it's like the greatest. The West Coast is super just kind of hands off with like heaters and AC and screens on the window. Like in this way where it's just like, yeah, but I mean, we're cool. We're cool with it. Right. And I feel like no matter what city you go to on the West coast, everyone's like,

yeah, but you only need it for like one week a year. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Which is really only true of some places. Yeah. Yeah.

And like LA is like a burning hot desert. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, that's not the attitude to have down here. And it's like year,

year round burning hot desert. Yes. But like in Philadelphia, like in the summer, is it hell on earth? Yeah, it's like super humid, hot, hot, buggy. And it's like concrete jungle where dreams are made of. Yeah. The New York City. Concrete jungle where Rocky is from.

He likes to punch frozen meat wait no it's not frozen well that's the best take we have wait no it's not it's cold for sure yeah uh what was your favorite part of the Entourage movie? Okay. We've all seen it, so we can discuss it. Spoilers are coming. I like how nothing bad was ever going to happen.

No. Yeah. Even when Turtle got his arm broken by Ronda Rousey, it was just a sprain. That really raised the stakes I loved how E, when he, at the very end of the movie He becomes a father and he's in the hospital And then he just leaves with his friends Cool, anybody hungry? Now they go to Wahlburgers

Oh yeah, isn't there a scene in it where Donnie Wahlberg basically plugs about eight Mark Wahlbergs? Mark is like, I'm here recording Ted Six or whatever. They run into him. Yeah. It's like, wait, what year is it? Oh, yeah. This is, oh, this happens in an alternate timeline. Yeah.

When you pulled up on the boat in the first scene, were like the tv show was two weeks ago and then but ted in this movie ted is one of the avengers yes yes so but in uh doesn't he plugs a wall wall burger maybe and then ted and then some other thing yeah he's bringing back board Empire, which I was a producer on. And he's got a friend who's the equivalent of Turtle. Oh, right. Yeah. Which a past guest, Alicia Tobin, told me on the show Walburgers, they tried to set up the real life turtle with like some girl like so he could have a girlfriend but he's like now he's like 50 and he's and he's turtle he's an old turtle sure and

uh you know they're trying to set him up with like 26 year olds and uh anyways sounds sounds like they're still doing nice work if you can get it. No, it's just full of cameos. It's all... And what were the other cameos? Oh. Pharrell. Yeah, Pharrell. Ever heard of a little someone named Mark Cuban?

Yes! Several UFC fighters, I assume. Yeah, probably. Just people who, like anyone who wasn't great at reading their lines i assume was a uh a cameo other than the main actors i uh i went to the movie with my brother who was in town and he had never seen even one second of the show oh no so. So the whole time, the whole time it was all winking references to things you were supposed to know. Yeah.

And, uh, he was like, he's like, most of the movie didn't make any sense. And one of the scenes was at a restaurant that you and I had been to. Oh yeah. Which I did not remember when I was watching it.

I was mostly, uh, I was mostly trying to figure out who this UFC woman was. And was she a real UFC person? Because I didn't know who Ronda Rousey was. Back then? Back then. Now.

Now she's a household name. She's on all our cereal boxes. Yeah, punchos. And arm bars. Submissos. Oh, yeah, that's it. Submiss squares. What's going on with you um uh this uh past uh week on friday i went uh i have a friend who's a school teacher and uh so so important absolutely i don't

know how people do it honestly the real heroes and i bet does sound sarcastic, but of course. No, it's got to be. But it is actually. It's something I could never, I don't think I could ever do, teach kids. I think I could teach adults, you know. Here's how you take a punch. Yeah, but like coming up with a 10-month curriculum on it. On taking a punch? Well, I'd bring in a lot of guest speakers. Yeah, you just look in the back of the workbook for all the answers february is concussion month byo ice um but uh so this friend of mine is a school teacher and he uh he like it's like an arts kind of elementary school.

Oh, cool. So it's arts focused. And so he brought myself and Alicia Tobin in to be guests. They do this once a month, like the kids put together like a talk show. And they bring in guests. And it is the cutest. The name of the show was called craze phase because they were allowed to name their own show the best yeah so it was craze phase was the name of the show

and it was like uh they had uh two girls were playing music it was like one was playing piano one was playing violin so they were kind of the band. And then there were the two human. That's my favorite late night band. Is that Steve? We'll go back. John Batista and stay human. Um, uh, and they,

uh, there was like the two, like, I guess everybody rotates through the different jobs, uh, on the show. So it was these two guys that hadn't really prepared anything to be the hosts okay so their opening monologue was uh something about uh sith something or other that they they

were confident made sense but i was like i don't know what you're talking about is that one of those goblin movie right and then uh at one point there was a magic two two kids did magic and uh the thing about magic that i realize is you really have to illustrate up front what uh the people are supposed to be looking for because if you just start doing a trick and you don't tell them what the thing they're looking for is all the parents in the back started applauding midway through the trick because they're like oh you did it and I was like

no I'm still sending it up and then when it was done we were like uh may we applaud? did you finish it? it's like when an audience laughs at your setup and you're like well my job here is done Can I move on?

Good enough My one laugh Put your jacket on So yeah like and then these kids did a thing it's like these kind of they're like fun they're these kids did a thing. It's like these kind of, they're like fun. They're like, you write a number on the board and then they write down these different numbers and then you have to add them up and it makes like a certain number that they've got written

in an envelope somewhere. Uh huh. It's their mathemagician. Yeah. Mathemagician stuff. So, but they made me like, they were like, okay, now add up these numbers. And I was like, like, I haven't added up numbers since i was their age yeah and i even said to them i was like don't let teachers tell you that you have to learn how to do it it doesn't yeah you don't but i was up

there like well i was really sweating it out because i'm like what do you carry over give you work a worksheet like no i was just doing it on a whiteboard. So they could see you. That's extra pressure. Oh, boy. I was sweating it, too, and I had to double-check my work. And at one point, I got one of the numbers wrong, and the girl was like, it's a six. I was like, okay, I know you know the answer.

You wrote J. You put an at sign. Anyway, so, and then that was good. The math magician thing was good. Were you just there to be a prop? We were brought in. Then we were interviewed by the kids. The kids had like a stack of questions.

Wow. And what is your favorite curse word? The best question was some kid who wasn't there that day was, how does potato? And did you answer it? Yeah, I was like, it does. It just does. Anyways, it was a lot of fun to see uh it was like you see a classroom

you can recognize the kids from when you're like yeah totally you're the tough kid you're overachiever kid you're like uh you're barely here Yeah. You're all intimidating to me. Yes. You're all terrifying. Man, school is scary. Yeah. No, I like, I have no desire. Did you, like, I didn't even know there was an arts-focused elementary school here.

No. Did your school have any focus? Like, my- The death of fun? Yeah, yeah. Mine was brutality. mine was french yeah i always think about that like if i'm if i ever have kids like how do you make them go to school when school fucking sucks like every morning be like no you have to go when inside you're like oh it's uh i would cry when the bell started to ring like for like for the start yeah i would go with my sister and we'd go away and then it would be fine and then when the bell rang i would just start crying because you were like i don't want to go yeah yeah it's like we were

having fun just hanging out out here. Yeah. I didn't know why do we have to go in there? The thing my parents did to make me go to school is they said if I didn't, they would go to jail. Oh.

That's pretty good. And I think there's something to that. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's, aren't there, there's like truancy, truancy officers? Yeah, but they don't put your parents in jail. And no,, aren't there, there's like truancy, truancy officers?

Yeah, but they don't put your parents in jail. And no, there aren't. Maybe in like Tom Sawyer times. Yeah. I just remember like there was an officer that would patrol the mall near our school. Because if he saw kids like hanging out during the day, he'd be like, well, you're obviously skipping school, which is the best thing a kid can do.

Kids, if you're out there listening, skip school. Yeah, go to the mall! But yeah, so you had to have like, you had to be pretty quick on your feet, like say either today's a pro day or... Did you skip school? Not till college, but then

I skipped a ton of it. Once it really got pricey. Yeah, I never skipped a single class. I was too scared. I was not cool at all. Yeah, well, ditto, but I didn't need that to not want to go to school. Yeah, yeah. But there was a robot that would call your house if you missed a class.

Really? Well, I don't think it was like a little gentleman, a little metal man picking up a phone, but it would say like, you know, you missed a class today. It would call your house. Yeah, that's enough for me to determine. Yeah. And then, but I knew kids who would like,

they knew what time the call came and they knew when to answer the phone and hang up right away. That was my friend, Phil Slonoyanoit he was he had the system he he because he was the first guy i knew who knew how to like edit uh kind of word programs to make it look like uh letterhead oh wow like he was he was really smart so he was making letterhead about like, please, like from the desk of, you know, his dad's. Phil's dad. Yeah, Phil's dad's like law office. He'd like get that letterhead, send it in, and then he would get, he would print off school letterhead to get his parents to sign.

Oh, he was a genius. Wow. He was like Frank Abagnale. Who's that? From Catch Me If You Can. Yeah, he totally was that. Yeah, and he knew what to do now. Is he a forger?

He's an international artsy. Is he a big-time forger? No, yeah. Have you heard of Thomas Crown Affair? Yeah. They changed the name, but that's him. Yeah, I know he lives on the east coast of Canada. Nice.

He's probably forging lobsters. But then he'll probably have a kid who then is totally not into forging, and he'll be like, oh, yeah. But he, like, I don't know. There was a real artistry to how he figured out how to do. It's a lot of confidence, too. Yeah. This is going to work.

Yeah. And he was always, like, he was the guy who convinced me, like, skipping school was going to be the most fun. And he was right. I still get that. Sometimes if I'm out in the day, like, out at, like, 11 in the morning and it's a school day and like you walk past the school and you feel guilty. Yeah. You're like,

or that those first few years after you graduated high school and you go in and you see kids out in the day and you're like, you're supposed to be in school. Truancy officer. Truancy officer.

I'm making a citizen's arrest. It's a holiday, sir. Grabbing kids off the street. Yeah. Yeah, you drive down to the police station. Look at these kids I found. Where's my medal? Yeah, but like

I remember the thing we would do is we'd go to the toy store because you would be the only kids in the toy store. Because you're a kid. Yeah. And that's where a kid can be a kid. Chuck E. Cheese. Why is the toy store open?

Yeah. They should open at 3. That is a very good question. Why are toy stores operating on regular business apps? They should only be open after you get your report card. Oh, man. But yeah. So yeah, I met some kids, saw them do a show, answered some questions.

Sounds great. Yeah. And then one girl came up. I mean, it sounds great, but if your friend is listening, I do not want to do it. This little girl came up to me after and she said, she's like, when did you learn how to do ratios? I was like, I don't remember. And she's like, I'm studying them now. And I'm like, well, you're probably advanced.

I don't know. I'm not sure I could do a ratio now if my life depended on it. Is that different than a fraction? She's also learning fractions. Ratios are like what they use for gambling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I guess you can, there's a practical application for ratios. Oh, yeah, sure.

Yeah. Sure. Like what's the over under? Recipes, right? Yeah. Maybe. Yeah, recipes. That's it. Gambling recipes. That's all you can do. yeah sure like what's the over under recipes right yeah maybe yeah recipes that's it

that's all you can do or cook and gamble yeah and mixing drinks yep oh yeah that's good

yeah two parts this to one part that yeah yeah yeah yeah ratios ratios anyways this girl should start a school for scumbags nobody would show up

that's the problem yeah I'd have to teach them to skip school open a bar for scumbags. Nobody would show up. That's the problem. I'd have to teach them to skip school. Open a bar for scumbags. Yes. Teach them there. That'd be a fun movie, School for Scumbags. Yeah, I think there's a similarly titled one with a Billy Bob Thornton.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that called? School for Scoundrels. Yeah. Yeah, it was probably originally called, like, School for Shitheads, and that's why it got bought in Hollywood. This is the hottest script. Have you read Shithead Academy yet?

We're calling it Mary Poppins, but... Adapted from Shithead Academy. Shithead Nanny. Well, yeah. So do we want to move on to overheard? Let's do it. So we got a Jumbotron message.

Yeah, we spoke too soon when we said it was time for the overheard. This week, we have a Jumbotron message. Yep. It is for the new podcast, Fact Up, the weekly podcast where one Canadian and two Englishmen answer the universe's big questions one topic at a time. Listen and become smarterer. Three towering intellectuals from three different academic disciplines answer life's biggest questions one topic at a time. What are those academic disciplines? We can't hear you.

We're going through a tunnel. I like that. Join Ian T. Day, Chris Gao, and Sean Lothian as they explore subjects with a myriad of extremely relevant characters. Listen and subscribe at podcastldn.com slash fact-up. Follow them on Twitter at factuppod and like them on Facebook by searching for factuppodcast.

Sounds good, boys. Lads. One boy and two lads. Now, also in this break, we wanted to mention that we have a new podcast. That's right. It's called Our Debut Album. And in every episode, Graham and I have a

one hour to write a hit song. Yeah, we're a real Lennon and McCartney. A real Simon and Schuster. So check that out. It's called Our Debut Album. Yes.

And also this week I just wanted to let everyone know that I am co-hosting, co-ghosting the Retail Nightmares podcast. Check it out. Totally. Okay, now let's move back to regularly scheduled podcasting. Okay, bye. Hi, my name is Justin McElroy. And I'm Dr. Sydney McElroy.

We host the medical history podcast, Sawbones, a tour of all the weird, stupid, terrible, horrifying, hilarious ways that we've tried to fix people over the years. If you haven't been listening to Sawbones, you've missed out on topics like the seasick proof saloon, the woman who gave birth to bunnies, the unkillable Phineas Gage, the true story of typhoid Mary, polio. And you can check out Sawbones every Wednesday by going to iTunes or wherever podcasts are sold. They don't sell podcasts. I told you this. Or presented.

Offered for free. It's free. What better selling point could there be than that? Every Wednesday, MaximumFun.org or wherever podcasts are offered. It's Sawbones. Hey, I'm Barbara Gray. I'm Brandi Posey.

And I'm Tess Barker. Together, we make up the Max Fun Podcast, Lady to Lady. Each week, we welcome a kick-ass lady guest. We talk about our lives, our dreams, and the terrible decisions we've made that still haunt us. We've had on great comedians like Aisha Tyler and Margaret Cho, plus screenwriters, doctors, authors, you know, anyone who's willing to be as open as we are. It's all a of fun that's us lady to lady can you keep the secret neither overheard a segment in which uh we hear these uh hilarious things out there in the world and come back here share them sharing is caring is that is that true? That sharing is caring? I don't know. Have they proved it?

Get on that, Mythbusters. They're not around anymore, are they? I think they went out with a bang. I don't know. But they did end that. Yeah. We wish them well in their future pursuits. The one guy as a regular guy, the other guy has some sort of walrus sure um now we always like to start overheards with the guests

you have one i do okay all right i was walking across main street down near the uh train station yeah and i passed two homeless people and one homeless guy said to the other one no apple cider vinegar yeah this recipe is very yeah just like what are they talking about yeah hey you guys where you go yeah that's a pretty like Niche vinegar Yeah Yeah Cause what's the prime Primetime vinegar?

Is white? Just clear vinegar? Balsamic had it's day Oh red wine vinegar White wine vinegar Yeah Apple cider's like the new Like

Hippier one Is that the new balsamic? Would you say? I think so Yeah Yeah You gotta shake it up though It's got little bits

It's got like boogers in it. Yeah. Yeah. It's a kombucha situation. Yeah. Yeah. Although he emphasized apple cider vinegar.

Yeah. Like there are other kinds of Pear cider is probably with the other kind. Oh sure. Yeah. But like yeah I don't

I just remember when balsamic like everything had balsamic on it. Oh yeah. Let's all, let's all write down our balsamic memories. And then send them into space. I distinctly remember mine. Tell us your balsamic memory.

Okay, the first time I experienced balsamic vinegar? Let's do it guys. Okay. My parents must have seen this at a restaurant and they tried it at home. A little olive oil in a dish. A little balsamic on top of it. Focaccia bread.

You dip it in and you taste it. It tastes like vinegar. It completely kills the... Yeah, you just oiled up your bread. It's like some kind of of what's the Catholic thing? Oh, Eucharist? Yeah, where you dip the bread in the wine.

Wait a minute, that's not what happens. I grew up in the United Church of Canada, and we did bread and dipping in... In salsa? It was just a bread bowl. Actually, Manischewitz wine, of all things.

No, grape juice. Grape juice. Oh, yeah, right. Dave, do you have an overheard? Sure. This took place a block away from here. And it involves, they have these things that I don't think existed when I was a kid. But there's a lot of parenting stuff that doesn't exist now, that didn't exist, but does now.

Yeah. And this was a little girl on the back of one of those, they're not tandem bicycles. They're just an attachment to a grown up bicycle. Oh. And the kid. Oh, the kid's behind. The kid sits on-up bicycle. Oh. And the kid. Oh, the kid's behind. The kid sits on this extra wheel. Right.

Extra wheel with a rod thing she holds on. Yeah. And they're going uphill. And she's dead weight to begin with. She's like a five-year-old kid. And they're going uphill. And the dad's trying really hard. And the girl, she has pedals to pedal,

but then at a certain point she just goes, I'm not going to try. And stops pedaling. Yes! Oh, man. Puts her feet up on the handles. Lights a cigar. And I'm sure the dad is like,

you weren't really doing much to begin with. But just don't. Thanks for setting my expectations. Yeah. At least this is now a teachable moment. If I was ever on a tandem bicycle, I know I would just let, like I would just go limp. Just let the pedals go around. I don't think I'd whack your leg every time. Either of you ever been on a tandem bicycle?

No. No. Not yet. Yeah. I think they rent them here. Go take a tour of the park. Yeah. Yeah.

Your future's unwritten. That's what I learned from Terminator. Yeah. In the last scene, the Terminator and the woman are on a tandem bicycle. I thought you were quoting the theme from The Hills. guys the terminator that's my that's your yeah in a way he was staring at the blank page before him i'm sure there was a dirty window to open up it was a dystopia no one's cleaning windows

i was the first thing to go uh graham do you have an overheard my overheard is a courtesy of a i i want to say it was a mother and son but it might have been an aunt and a son i was trying to figure out like age-wise i was like i'm not sure not sure too young to be a mother other way oh yeah too young to be a child but uh this was so i was at this uh bakery i was standing in line and uh the kid just kind of like that didn't cut in front but just like walked right past me to like look at the baked goods and i was like fine but then mother slash aunt was like now now, you don't just walk past people like that. You turn around and apologize, cedar.

And I was like, oh, brother. Okay. Named after wood. Sure. Maybe don't make a big deal out of that. And then I heard her when she was ordering like a little, you know little froth milk thing for him. She's like, and that's for cedar. And I was like, okay, so you really just...

You want everyone to know. I felt bad for this kid. And then I was like, double. I was like, well, this lady won't let him forget for two seconds that his name is Tree. And then I'm sure the barista has to be like, a froth milk for cedar.

Yeah. I mean, like, you know, we, I think we live in a city where there's a lot of parents that name their kids cedar. Yeah. Or like. I know of a different one. What? This was a boy? This was a boy.

I know a girl cedar. Really? Mm-hmm. That's such a masculine name. Yeah, but I didn't think that that was a boy? This was a boy. I know a girl cedar. Really? Mm-hmm. That's such a masculine name. Yeah, but I didn't think that that was a name at all. Like, it's a type, it's like naming your kid Oak. Yeah. Or Pine.

Mm-hmm. Well, I guess there's Chris Pine. Sure. But yeah, like, oh, when I was at the school, there was like a board with a bunch of stars that had kids' names on it. One of the kids' names was Amadeus. Oh, boy. Rock me. Yes.

Isn't that kind of setting your kid up for... To be a disappointment to you? Yeah. You'll be the next. You'll be the best, Amadeus. Yeah. I know Eddie Van Halen's son was named Wolfgang. I know a baby named Wolfgang.

Yeah. It's pretty good. Wolfgang's great, though. Yeah. Goes by Wolfie. Yeah. Cute. But it's kind of insane, but it's awesome.

But it's awesome. Yeah. At least that kid has the option of being kind of like a crazy, tough kid in school. But Cedar doesn't. Nope. It's not even, as a wood goes, it's not even very tough. Yeah, no, it's pliable. What?

It smells delicious. Oh, my God. It keeps the moths away. Oh, sure, yeah. You get some of those balls, put them in your suit pocket. What Amadeus, Wolfgang Amadeus was all Mozart. it's all the same name right it's all the same that's a lot of names to choose from why they call the movie amadeus and not wolfgang oh that's a really good question because there was already probably a b horror movie about a gang of werewolves oh my god show me that movie

um now we also have overheard sent into us from people around the world if you want to send one into us you can send it into spy at maximum fun.org uh this uh first one comes from uh this is from paris from sam in the city of oh okay i thought paris was the person's name um yeah that would be another name that I would consider in this strange column. Paris. Right? I've known a few. Have you really?

Not even Hilton. Really? Yeah. Jackson. Yeah. Well, there you go. There's a Paris Jackson. But not the Michael Jackson's kid?

Is that who it is? Yeah. But there was a football player named Paris Jackson, too. Oh, that's cool. Okay, so it's moved into the column of not really. It's been around. It's been around. For a couple decades.

Okay. All right. All right. What about Brooklyn? Sure. Yeah, it's newer. That's newer, right? Yeah.

London? Is London something? It's a last name. I know Rimmel is how you get the London look. Is that worth anything here? I mean, it's worth. Not great with our exchange rate. This is my daughter Rimmel.

This is my daughter Lipsmackers. This is my son Frankfurt. So this is from Paris. And of course I'm way behind on the overheards because we get so many of them. So this is back from November. Oh, you just gotta cut them all. No, I won't. I refuse.

So this is Sam had tickets to the ballet about a week. In Paris. Yeah, right? I know. Holy jeez. It's like when Sex and the City lady moved there, and it's just like everything was so fancy. Yeah. Her boyfriend hit her right in the face.

Pretty bad. Security was heightened, because this had happened just after the terrorist attacks. Security was heightened, so there were metal detectors at the entrance and the security guards looked inside people's handbags. The whole thing took about 10 seconds tops to go through and there was hardly any line. This did not stop a woman wearing a

full-length fur coat and diamond jewelry to turn around dramatically and declare, look at this the terrorists have truly won oh boy yeah i mean inconvenience oh yeah sacral blood yeah and then she fainted dropped her opera glasses in a toilet this is how I think. This is just an average day in Paris. You go, you start your day at the ballet.

Then you go to the boulangerie. And then just eat a bucket of baguettes. Then you go kiss in front of a fountain. You climb the Eiffel Tower. Go to sleep in the elephant across the street from the Moulin Rouge. John Leguizamo is there for some reason.

It's crazy. Yeah. I think I did Paris. I think I got it. This next one comes from Michael from a place called Neslton Station in Ontario, Canada. So I don't know if that's. I don't know what that is. So I don't know if that's, I don't know what that is.

Um, I think it's where you, you have to go walk into a wall and you end up at Hogwarts. Oh yeah. I was making dinner and my neighbor, John had stopped by for a visit. My four year old son had, uh, was excitedly showing our neighbor all the things he was learning in kindergarten. He was telling my neighbor all about the alphabet and this new thing he learned about called punctuation. In his excitement, my son pointed to a sentence in a newspaper headline that was on the kitchen table and said, Look, John, it's a period. Want to touch it?

Maybe school is good for kids. Yeah. That's hard-working as shit. I mean, it did make me feel real like, I do feel superior to people who seem to have not learned punctuation. Yeah. Do you ever, do you have neighbors who pop in or do you pop in with neighbors? No. Well, I have now a friend who lives directly across the street from me.

So I see, like I run into him when he's walking his dog or his girlfriend is walking their dog. But we're pretty respectful. I'm not just like, hey. But there is a weird thing where if he's like, if he texts me, hey, what's up? I'm like, he can see my car in the driveway. He knows I'm home. That's, oh, yeah. You know, you're like, oh, I fell down the stairs.

Yeah. Or if you see someone you know outside and you're like, oh, wait five minutes. Like, I like them fine. Yeah, totally. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. But yeah, I'm having conversations with people I like is the worst. Yeah.

You know, it's not hard to say goodbye to a stranger. Yeah. See you later. Yeah, that's true. It's hard if you run into somebody on the street and then you have a conversation. It's difficult to extract yourself from that because you're like obviously i was going somewhere and you were going somewhere too but how do we get but now we have plans together right now and we're engaged uh this last one comes from uh stefan in uh stainer ontario gross uh we went from like the

old nestlington station to Stainer. Some of the local community groups, this is around Christmas time, by the way, put on a Christmas carnival for kids called Christmas Thunderland. My seven-year-old daughter turned to me during the event, thinking she had figured out the play on words, and said, get it, Dad? Thunderland instead of thunderland finally they i'm just glad they finally you know came up with a way of making a wonderland fun yeah oh yeah uh Instead of Thunderland. Pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah.

Kids. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328, like these people have. Hi, Graham, Dave, and lovely possible guest. This is Allison from Evanston calling in an overseen. So I was visiting my parents in the suburban Minnesota town from which I hail and there's been a big controversy

this whole year about organized garbage collection where the city might force everyone to use one garbage company as opposed to separate garbage companies. People are really mad about it. And so there's a bunch of signs out supporting keeping things the way they are with the ill-named website www.handsoffourcans.com. That's pretty good.

Yeah. So, but what I'm confused is that why are there separate garbage companies picking up garbage? I don't know. Like, what separate garbage companies picking up garbage? What's going on in this city? I don't know how any municipal politics works, but it sounds inconvenient, I guess. Yeah, but like... Two people are trying to take my garbage. But isn't like... Isn't that just the city does that?

Yeah, that's so weird. Maybe they privatized it there. Oh, boy. Welcome to Trump's America. Jesus Christ. First thing Trump's America. Yeah. Jesus Christ. First thing, first order. We're privatizing the garbage in this one Minnesota suburb.

Yeah. It's the American dream. Yeah, I wonder. Also, I got to say, of all the things that I take for granted of living in the first world. Just routine garbage collection. Oh, yeah. No questions asked. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, just like... It's like the honor system. We're coming to your address and we're going to get rid of all that crap for you It's crazy. Like, you just put it out there and it's just gone.

I don't know where it goes. I have no idea where it goes. Oh, yeah. Me neither. Yeah. Yeah. Right in the water supply. But, like, looking at the size

of those trucks, like, I can't imagine they get very far. Yeah, that's a really good point. Like they're not, you know, I can't imagine they do more than a couple of streets before they head to the dump. Yeah. Yeah. Good call. I never thought of that. They go to the dump multiple times a day?

I don't know. Well, they also have a thing that squashes everything down. Which worries me because I'll sometimes put stuff that you should not squash. Accordions. Yeah. Nitrous oxide canisters. I do a bit of dentistry on the side. But like, yeah, I don't know.

Just the fact that that's happening. And there's so much. Like, there's a campaign of like, don't throw away your paint. Don't throw away your recyclables. Your batteries. Or we won't do anything. We'll still collect them. Just make sure.

They should make garbage cans clear. I feel like that could be in the future. Clear garbage cans. That would be embarrassing. They'd be so smeary after like two weeks. They'd be so red and brown. Here's your next phone call. Hands off our cans.

Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. I was driving to work today. This is an overseen, by the way. I was driving to work and and this is an overseen by the way and I was driving to work and I passed in the parking lot there was a boat and on the side of the boat

it said victory big letters and the T was a cross with the crown of thorns on the top of it and underneath it it said

wakeboard ministries so it was pretty good oh cool wakeboard ministry yeah if you're having trouble getting your kid to go to church wakeboard yes oh my god like you get baptized every day um yeah that's oh man like i was growing up I remember there being like cool churches with like. A band. And like.

The priest wears blue jeans. But no. No wakeboarding. No monster energy church. We all, if we were lucky, we would have a Jolt Cola church. Yeah. Yeah. No, there was not when I, where I grew up, there was church. Yeah. Yeah, no, there was not one.

Where I grew up, there was no cool church. There's no cool church. There is now. I feel like there's a lot of cool churches now. I feel like you're right. There's some sort of rock and roll church. Probably some sort of hip hop church. Oh, yeah, there's got to be.

And wakeboarding church. I wouldn't have even thought about it. Wakeboarding is the one where you're, it's water skiing on a board. I don't know. Oh. I think that's what it is. Got it. Then you go in and out of the wake. Oh, man.

You do jumps. Ugh, no thanks. There's something creepy about like a church that's like, follow me into the ocean. I'm sure there's. Suicide-y. There's got to be like a website where you just like enter your activity and it'll tell you the Bible verses that apply. Yeah.

Wake Bird. Yeah, I guess there's a... Yeah, I like kite boarding. What does it got for me? Something about the wind. There's probably something in the wind. And the willows. Here's your final overheard of 2016.

Hey, stop podcasting yourself. This is Brian in South Florida with an overseen. Here's your final overheard of 2016. people might use their finger to write wash me on the back of a dirty car so other people see it but on this car it said it said fuck me I'm a dick and the man driving it had his windows down all the way and playing

music very loudly as if to draw as much attention. Yeah. Really great. His pre-punchline laugh was infectious. Yeah, yeah. It made me like the story 9,000 times more, too. And this time of year is the time of year that there's people driving around with their windows down playing their music with the filthiest cars sometimes i'm shocked by the music

that somebody allows themselves to be seen listening to at maximum volume in their car like you're just like it's like early early 90s ph Phil Collins or something. You're like, what are you doing? Just another day in paradise. Yeah. We had to do, we had to be like grownups the other day. Because we got home at like bedtime for the baby, seven-ish. And there was a car parked outside, two cars parked outside of just teenagers hanging out with loud music playing from the cars. And, like, their garbage strewn right, like, on our lawn.

These are, like, cartoon teenagers. Get the hose. Get the hose. But Abby gave them a dirty look and told them, like, you're going to pick that up? Oh. She's ready for it, it sounds like. Yeah. Wow. And my big contribution was I, you know, went right up.

I gave the guy a look as I was parallel parking. Yeah. But I'm fundamentally afraid of teens. Oh, yeah. But, like, especially ones that are playing loud music. Yeah, teens with friends. Oh, I can't relate. Yeah, yeah. One teen by can't relate. Yeah, yeah.

One teen by themselves sulking. There we go. There you go. That's the teen for me. But yeah, oh man. If I never have to confront a gang of teens, I'll consider myself lucky. But it's going to come. It's going to come someday.

Your day of reckoning will come. And I'm like, will I try to relate to them? What will I do when it's my turn to confront teens? Will I be like, hey, man, I know. Oh, no. Backwards chair. Yeah. Where do you even get that chair from?

You guys stay here. I'll be right back. They should do that in wrestling. Sometimes they'll reach under the ring and get a folding chair to beat a guy up. Yeah. There should be one guy who just puts it down and does a backwards chair. Why are we doing this? He's called the guidance counselor.

Yeah. And he's like finishing things. He's called the transcript. Well, that brings us to the end of the podcast. Gabe, thank you so much for being our guest. Thanks for having me. This was great. Do you have anything upcoming?

This will be May 8th, I think. Yeah. First week, I think it's June 3rd, I'm doing stand-up in Chicago. So if anyone's listening in Chicago, come to the AV Club. It's doing a festival. Oh, cool. Which is awesome. Yeah.

So I'll be on a couple of shows there. So at various venues in Chicago? Oh, cool. I think so. I should have looked it up before I plugged it. We definitely have listeners in Chicago. Cool. That is my favorite.

I love Chicago. So I'm super psyched on that trip. Cool. Yeah. So I'll plug that. Yeah. And if people want to find you, sayed on that trip. Cool. Yeah. So I'll plug that. Yeah. And if people want to find you, say, on Twitter, you're? Gabe Liedman.

That's my name on Twitter and Instagram. You got it first. Yeah. Yeah. I did. Nice work. Not a lot of other Gabe Liedmans out there. You'd be surprised.

Really? Yeah. Is there enough that you've found a couple other? No one's ever gotten in touch. Oh, that's too bad. Yeah. Because there's a lot of Graham Clarks out there. Yeah, I'd imagine.

And I've touched base with some of them. There's a heavy metal guy in Scotland, I think. Yeah, he's doing all right. He wouldn't be afraid to take on some teens. Oh, no. No. I'll be like, that's what I'll do. If I come across a group of teens, I'll be like, I'll get the other Graham Clark out here.

Oh, I thought you were going to pretend to be Scottish. Put on a kilt. Be a heavy metal kilt guy. And if you like the podcast, head on over to MaximumFun.org. Pictures and videos of things we talked about on the show today. Yeah. The Entourage movie Yeah, Summer Rental Oh yeah, the cover of Summer Rental

The theme from The Hills And also, if anyone is listening in Victoria, British Columbia We will be there October 22nd Plenty of time. Yeah, you got all the time in the world to buy your tickets, but buy them now anyway.

Yeah, buy them now. They're on the internet. Find them on the internet. And if you like the show, tell your friends, leave a review on iTunes, and come on back next week for another episode

of Stop Podcasting Yourself.