Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 427 - Greg Behrendt

Episode Date: May 23, 2016

Comedian and author Greg Behrendt joins us to talk rats in cages, the Replacements, and princess phones.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 427 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's not sure if it's episode 426 or 427. We've been recording a lot. But you know, whatever one it is, welcome.

Yeah, welcome to it. It doesn't matter. No one's in prison marking the numbers down. We don't know that. We don't know that. And our guest today, first-time guest of the podcast, very funny comedian, author, musician, Greg Barron. Oh, that sounded great, guys. That sounded great.

Yeah. You almost know what show it is. Which one was Greg on? I don't know. Somewhere in the four. It doesn't matter, man. In the 420s. 427. 4 it is. Which one was Greg on? I don't know. Somewhere in the four. It doesn't matter, man. In the 420s. 427.

420s. Oh, man. Should we get to know us? Sure. Get to know us. So, Greg, you were in town last night doing a show. Yes. That's when I usually come in to promote something, the day after.

Yeah. You're doing a show in town last night, bro, so get in to promote something, the day after. Yeah. You're doing a show in town? Last night, bro. So get in that time machine and whip it back, and then come in about 10 minutes into my show. Here's the first 10. Split it about 17, 18 minutes after that, and you've got a nice, tasty morsel. So that's what I would tell you. Is your first 10 just the warm-up in your show? My first 10 now, I take an electric guitar on stage,

and I have a tiny battery-powered amp that I have mic'd. So it's really just awful sounding. And I play my theme song from my show, which nobody knows because it's an imaginary television show that I'm not going to be ever given. What's the name of this show? It's Gregor's. It's Gregor's?

Yeah, that's the theme song. It's Gregor's. That's all. That's the whole. The lyrics of the song are, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. All right. It's Gregor's. Oh, no. And the oh, no means, fuck fuck we used their coupon for the wrong show this is i thought this guy wrote a book or something this is sad how old is he now anyway so yeah so that's the and then i force this crowd to sing along and then i go look it's not gonna end until you actually sing along with me so let's fucking get this over with that's why it's a 10

minute yeah and then sometimes i'll just play uh um bonsai Washout or just any number of surf instrumentals by myself. And sometimes I'll show them the first song I wrote in college. I don't know. I just have it up there just in case. I just felt like I wanted to, you know, like sometimes the parameter of your own act just becomes a prison for not just the crowd. And so I thought, fuck, fuck i'm gonna bring an electric

guitar and i don't know what i'm gonna do with it and there's not gonna be a plan and i'm not gonna worry about it do you keep it on the whole set nope no take it off you know put it on take it off um i started um dressing more uh you know how many flannels does anyone want to see on stage anymore so i mean i'm starting to worry myself worry myself because I've always been flannel, but now it's just... Well, I mean, too. Me, too. Yeah, I mean, right.

I've had flannels on and off and black t-shirts and that stuff. What's your solution? What's your dress now? I wear a suit now. Really? I wear a suit with a bow tie. A lot of times I undid the bow tie

so I look like a... I think I'm supposed to be in a lounge somewhere. Oh, yeah, like this guy's at the end of a telethon. Yeah, I consider what I do the New American Lounge entertaining. And think it's supposed to be in a lounge somewhere. Oh yeah, like this guy's at the end of a telethon. Yeah, I consider what I do the New American Lounge

entertaining. And so it's, With the music and the, yeah. Yeah, but it's all sloppy and sort of punk rock because that's my generation

of people. So, you know, that's what they, it's like if the replacements had to do stand up and they didn't want really, they really shouldn't have been.

That's the way I feel about it. So it's fun. It's been really fun. So last night was like the third time or fourth time I've taken the Toronto stage. And, you know, that crowd was super great. And it's the right club for it. You know, it's a rock club.

You know, and so, yeah, it was cool. I mean, for me. I mean, I'm certain some people, I have no idea. People seem to like it. Do you not feel, because I used to, when I started out in comedy, I would wear a suit on stage yeah and uh some crowds would uh there's a material that wouldn't work with wearing a suit yeah because i was like a you know young broke guy people like you know but look and check out mr suit up there yeah so do you find that with i would say it's the suit i would say it's the suit the cut of the suit the way you wear the suit it's the way the suit i think it really has more to do with the suit

because the tompkins never didn't wear a suit that's true and i don't think that's why that people liked or didn't like him but you know like i don't think that the suit was to blame however i think sometimes people either got him because he's amazing or they were like baffled because they didn't understand they were just dumb right but i don't think i think it's really more what um um uh and also if you if you're comfortable in it it just takes people all adjust to things they don't know too you know they don't know you and they don't know you in a suit and so it's a lot to look at and they're trying to figure it out and it's not easy so if it's not easy for them to

characterize right away they don't get it yeah but eventually they're like oh yeah sure you always wear a suit it's always worn a suit i think if always worn a suit. I think if I wore a suit now, I would look like some sort of, uh, like minister from the deep South, you know? Yeah. Snake handler or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Which I don't think is a bad look. That's not a bad look. I mean, it is a bit of preaching anyway. So it's like, you know, uh, whatever it is that you're, whatever your ideology is, you're still preaching a little bit. So that's the way I felt about it. And I just thought, you know, um, know, it was just more fun for me.

I just felt better. I was like, this just feels like show business. It feels like you're doing, like you're like putting on like a, like a uniform. Yeah. And like, and like, also just like you're acknowledging we're not, I'm not supposed to be the same as everyone in the crowd, you know? And in the old days, maybe when I was a kid, I wanted that, but it's like, nobody wants to be this old man.

So why not? I'll just embrace my own thing. And then people, you know what I mean? maybe when I was a kid, I wanted that. But it's like, nobody wants to be this old man. So why not? I'll just embrace my own thing. And then people, you know what I mean? I don't think there's. Right. I think there's a, there's a, there's a notion that the crowd wants you to be like them. And I don't think that's at all the same. Otherwise they wouldn't go to see any kind of a show.

Right. So no matter what you look like, they're, they're actually in their heads going, don't be me. That's why I'm fucking here I need you to be I might want you to be Relatable to me But I don't want you to be me Right

I don't want you to be The same guy Yeah I might recognize your uniform As the kind of guy Who lives on my block But even then I want you to be

The most extraordinary version Of that possible Yeah Because I'm still going To end up fucking entertainment Yeah You know So I think that

There's always an element Of That you are performing And it is a show fucking entertainment. You know? So I think that, that there's always an element of, um, uh, uh, that you, you are performing and it is, it is a show whether you want to, you know, I do do something different every time I, but you're still doing a show. Anytime, anytime I wore a suit, it was, I always worried that the crowd was like, you think you're better than me? And my first 10 minutes was all about how I was better than them.

So it was like, ugh, I really am. I'm pounding that home, aren't I? Yeah. Well, again, Tompkins, he makes no bones about being better than the audience. Zero bones. Yeah. It's like, if he can pull that off. He's a jellyfish.

But the other thing is, like, you know, it was like, we talked about this a ton when Obama was being elected. You know, there was all of a sudden. Not my president. The only thing they could go after him. They were going after him for, uh, not being, you know, that was the one dig they could make.

So they couldn't call him black or anything like that. So they were like, Oh, he's like better than me. Fuck. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Yes. Please. You would, anybody who drives, anyone who drives out automobile should be better than all of us. Yeah. Any one of them. The,

any one of them. Well, isn't the thing about, uh, like people vote for the person they'd like to have a beer with? Yeah. Isn't that what they always say? And I just don't know this time. I just don't see any of them being there. I know.

And I also don't think that. I think that's a misnomer. That's the thing. I don't want to have a beer with you. I don't want to know you. The people that I've truly ever idolized, I don't want to fucking know them. If I've crossed people's paths because of life, I haven't met a few people that are famous that i'm friends with and i'm like oh fuck this is great i would but you approach me so fair enough but for the most part

i don't you know uh uh uh who did you meet that the the you were like oh my like i'm meeting this person is there anybody that like stood out where you're like, oh my God, I'm actually meeting this person. Half the parents at the school that we go to. All right. Is it all? No, it's, you know, the one thing, you know, the one area where I've spent wildly is private school in Los Angeles. Okay. Yeah. Admittedly and wildly.

My daughter actually has to go to the public school, and she went for two years. She's now 14, but at 11, she went, this is horseshit. Oh, really? Yes. She said, too many kids in the class, no one's paying attention. People are vaping. Who gives a shit? I just want an education.

Kids are vaping in classrooms? And this is my dumb one. And yes, yes, yeah. Wow. Right. And she's like, look, I mean, it's coming everywhere. At a private school, yes, yes. Yeah. Wow. Right. And she's like, look, I mean, it's coming everywhere at a private school. That's it. It happens everywhere.

Point is she just wanted, she just really could feel the difference between having gone and then asking to go to the public school. Cause it was a performance magnet. She really wanted to be there. And then she was like, this is, I go, yeah, that's what it is. And it's just not good enough. It's just, I never tasted the private school world, so I don't know what I was missing. And I didn't either.

But I grew up in schools that you could go to and feel good about going to. You know, I got a fine education. I'm a moron, but I got a fine education. I was offered a fine education. Yeah, it was an offer. I was available to me should I have gone to class. You could have taken advantage of it. Absolutely could have. There were people in those rooms taken advantage of it. I absolutely could have.

There were people in those rooms speaking about things that other people should know about that now I just Wikipedia. I didn't go to private school, but I did wear a little skirt. I love that. That's what I like. Little knee socks. Oh, man. You made it your own. You may have just gone to Japan.

So anyway, yes. So some of the parents at our school are famous. Yeah. The two that, Gwen goes there, and I was an old school No Doubt fan. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I've talked to her a few times. She's very lovely, but she definitely is like sort of a-

It would be bizarre to meet somebody like her because she's like, but I'm chummy with Dave Grohl. Oh, okay. And he seems like a guy you could be chummy with. And it literally, he'd come in here. If you,

if he found out he could do a podcast here, he'd come in. And by the end, you're like, are we friends with it now? Like, I feel like he would text me if I asked him to be like, he's just,

he just is a night. He's just a genuinely. He always has gum on him. He's got gum. Yeah. He has gum and he's friendly and he's energetic and he's nice and he's not, you know, there's just no pretense at all. I think he was just a well-raised young man. He's just nice, holds the door for people, talks to people. He does.

He seems like the nice young man of rock and roll. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he's- But not in a bad way. No, no, no.

But you know how, I don't know, maybe the generation before were all obsessed with being bad boys, the hair metal crowd. Yes. And they never grew out of it yeah and he just kind of always was a like a goofy all the guys in nirvana were kind of goofy yeah like i don't think you would ever be like hey tommy lee can you watch my kid for a bit well i mean here would be the biggest distinction i don't think anyone and i'm not it's not entirely true but i i don't think any of those umset Strip hair metal bands watched Mr. Show.

But I know for a fact that Nirvana watched Mr. Show and stand-up comedy. And they had a taste for all things on the alternative spectrum of everything. Music, books, authors, all that kind of stuff. And also, I think they position themselves as losers kind of, which is a very comedian way of seeing yourself.

So you're, they saw themselves as not glamorous or whatever, even though, you know, I never met Kurt and I never met

any of the rest of them, but Dave, I also think is probably just, you know, they've been through it or he did, he's already proved himself.

But the way my wife describes it, and there's a few people like this in town he's already won what does he want he didn't need anything he's already he has that feeling of like i yeah i'm i'm good you know what i mean yeah uh i mean he doesn't need a nice place that's a nice place to be and so he doesn't you know but there are people that never get there you know there's a you know let's say someone like a billy corgan you know who's just notoriously not just not a good guy and just not ever going to get happy you know and i think that's just the day like from realizing propitia

is not going to solve the problem he always yeah like despite all of his rage he's he has this feeling that he's some kind of i don't know animal in an enclosure yeah yeah yeah smallish yeah a smallish like a rodent like a shrew not a box you can see out of it but you can't get out of it and whatever you call that that's what that's where he might be like a shrew in a box yeah yeah despite all my madness i'm still just a shrew in an aquarium yeah i look i don't know him personally and so i mean i've only heard stories like but he i just use him as an example of like there are just some people who really are uh and i've talked about this before um they're just people there who really they're fun to meet because you so you see oh that's how you do it

so so the idea that you have to be an asshole is is is not right you have to be talented. Yeah. And you have to be, like, I will say, because we know their family, he doesn't stop working from when his eyes open until he goes to bed. He's constantly, even when he takes time off, he's constantly thinking of things to do. Yeah. He doesn't rest. He doesn't stop. And I also think he doesn't judge them. I think he does and puts them out. By the time people are already shitting or revering something, he's moved on to something else.

And I don't think he, you know what I mean? I don't think, I think he's about the work, which I think any of us that you know, once you're about the work, it really, everything sort of just falls into place in a way. Yeah. And I think once you like make things, like I remember growing up and being like, you know, Oh, I wish this album was different or, or, uh, like, Oh,

this was a real misstep. But once you start making things, you're like, well, I'll, I just make the thing. Yeah. It's not,

it's, I have, I can only make what I make and. I can only, yeah, I can only be me and I only have my ideas now. And also it's a crap shoot all the time. You know? Yeah. If you, the thing, I just finished that repl ideas now. And also, it's a crapshoot all the time.

Yeah. The thing, I just finished that Replacements book. Are you guys Replacements fans at all? No. A little before my time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what are their- So Replacements are an American punk band out of Minneapolis. I know I've definitely heard their music.

Yes, they were unbelievably good. And they started on college radio in the late 80s, early 90s. And they're from California, you said? They're from Minneapolis. Oh, Minneapolis. The California of the North. Same. So First Avenue is where Prince played, and there was a little side room called the 7th Street Entry, and that's where they played.

Okay. And a little punk club attached to it. Wow. Same time period that Prince would have been playing? And that's where they played. Okay. A little punk club next to, attached to it. Wow. And. Same time period that Prince would have been playing? Prince would have had a little, probably an album out by the time they started. Okay. So like a little leg up.

Right. Just like, Prince was probably seven, six or seven years older than them. Right. Right. But they started in their teens. The bass player was 11 when he was. Oh. Given emancipation and joined the band. Literally emancipated from his parents?

Literally 11. His brother was the other guitar player who would eventually die. Can I tell you something? This already sounds like a great book. It is amazing. Paul Westerberg was supposed to be the next Dylan or whatever. He's supposed to be the next Paul Westerberg. He's supposed to be the next guy whose name you didn't have to name anybody else

because he was that guy. Right, yeah. And then Drummer was just a guy that knew two beats but knew them really well. Right. And so they started

and their careers paralleled basically R.E.M. R.E.M. was coming out of the South at the same time. They knew them through the independent college rock radio circuit

but as life would go on, the replacements would fuck up intentionally every opportunity that they were given. Oh, but like,

because of a, like, we're punk rock, so we're going to flush it down the toilet. They could not wrestle with the idea, exactly,

that thing of like, they wanted so badly to be famous that they did not want to fucking give you a, like, it was almost like, I wrote this beautiful song. I like it was almost like i wrote this

beautiful song i love it fuck you for liking this i'm gonna shit on it i'm very confused i just came to one show i know it's like you but so notoriously an 11 year old gave me the finger tonight yes no no a hundred percent they would play industry showcases and just do covers or not show up or play different instruments like they would fuck things up in such an epic way and then they were notorious for being drunk and fucked up all the time. They were also both very attractive. The bass player and the drummer were very cute for that era. So they could have been the poster child or whatever.

But they wouldn't give an inch. They were the only band ever banned from Saturday Night Live. Oh, really? Yes. I mean, do you guys read any John Updike or Raymond Carver, any of that kind of stuff? I've read some John Updike or Raymond Carver any of that kind of stuff? I've read some John Updike the book which is like 502 pages you really don't have to know the band

you can quickly catch up on them on Spotify it reads like a Raymond Carver novel it's the saddest most but then also beautiful and you kind of at the end you're like I fucking hate these guys but I want to hug all of them why did it happen and then they failed they ultimately failed so did they drift apart or did they just continue on that some brother dies

the the older brother started the band he died they have to kick him out oh no the little brother has to kick him out oh oh geez oh and then they bring it yeah yeah and then they get signed to a major not 11 anymore at this point at this point he but at this point he's like 17 right like I mean he's still really

fucking young and they get signed to a major and they make one record then they kick him out after Saturday Night Live and it's just the stuff that they do

the people they meet the things that they do but as a show business and a look at show business at that idea of because we came up in comedy not that long

after so you had that vibe and i remember this specifically when i started and and and garoppolo was like this and cross was like this odin kirk was like this and pat was like this marin was like that you wanted to do well but you didn't want to be seen trying oh sure so patten was one of the guys that we were always like, fuck him, man. He's a glad-handing son of a bitch. That guy fucking knows everybody. I'm not kidding. And I mean this sincerely. I absolutely adore Patton.

I love him. He's one of my great friends. And I've told him this story. I've told this story before that he really was like, fuck that guy, man. Why? He's fucking succeeding. Yeah, yeah. So that was seen as a negative.

Right. But all Patton was doing was like seen as a negative right but all Patton was doing was the thing that he wanted to do since he was fucking just a child and was doing it he was going after it in a way and you know look his work still speaks for itself wasn't like he was he was a pander monkey his work was challenging and interesting and different and unique but he wrote for people met people knew people got jobs moved to los angeles like you know made himself available to people who need you know patton never saw himself as like a superstar so but he knew he's smart and he knew right so he made himself available as a guy who did punch up and he also talked about how good he was at things so then you knew he was good i mean right he just

did it right yeah he did it right he wasn't a dick but he definitely tried but we were like fuck you man come find me yeah my work should speak for itself not really and not that well and it's nearly not that good and why are you this drunk at two like it was there was a lot of and there you know and and similarly cross and janine had real uh um strong work ethics yeah but uncompromising on stage not gonna give in going to give you a fucking thing that was like the replacement like this is what i'm doing tonight i'm just going to make this is that what that's his act tonight he's just going to do that and see if people get upset not even in a kaufman way but i think they were like trying to find a how can i get myself on stage and be me yeah and uh you know i mean none of the things they were doing were unfunny

but people also in a weird way liked seeing the thing was attractive to smart people or smarter or more, more, more comically educated was they would go into a room and walk for, you know, most of it. But the five people that stayed joined their army. Oh, sure. You know, you know that feeling. You found a band, you found a comedian, you found a book, an author, anything where you're like, oh, my God. You'll just for the rest of your life. This is never going to, I'm going to be, you get me and I get you and I don't care. Nobody else gets us.

You know what I mean? It's that bonding of. But it is, it's interesting because like I watched a documentary about Charles Bukowski. And a lot of people think, you know, here's a guy who's get, just get drunk and would write a thing and somehow became successful. Yes. But he would wake up at five o'clock in the morning every morning. He would write for four hours and then he would mail out poems to every publication in America every week. And so he was like this workhorse.

Right. The popular notion was, oh, well, you know, look, this guy just gets drunk and it just happened. I feel that people embrace that narrative so they can use it themselves. Oh, well, you know, look, this guy just gets drunk and it just happened. I feel that people embrace that narrative so they can use it themselves. Oh, yes. Absolutely. Not like me.

I just keep mailing poems. Yeah, I do too. Also, and I've been getting your poems. Please stop. I barely have a blog on my way. I don't know where else I could do it.

By the way, violets aren't even that blue. Right. The color's in the fucking name violet god damn it c prince um the the the thing that that um uh right tommy stinson used to say about the replacements was he goes you know we have like people he goes the sad part about our legacy is that people come up and say, this is the young brother. He would say, oh, man, I saw you guys so fucked up in New Jersey, man. You play Beach Boys covers. It was awesome.

You barely played a show. And he goes, we played a lot of shows really well. And the songs are great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we did try. And we made all the gigs. And we weren't. I mean, but the thing is, I followed them like the Grateful Dead.

So I know the story. I was like, well well if i saw you six times four of them were a fucking train wreck right and i loved all of it because i because it felt like it was actually happening and i think what what the uh alternative comedy scene in our time period was trying to do was just make you feel like you weren't getting some guy that had practiced too hard and was i think it was a, it was a response to, it was a response to, and not a takedown of Seinfeld. Right.

It was a basic response to, where's the sock? You go later on as a craftsman later on, you go, God damn it. He didn't really, he's not saying anything there. He got made a whole show out of that.

And that's, and why is it funny? I don't know. He's made that funny. It's hard to do. It's like writing a pop song. So, but when you're young, you can't see that.

You just see whatever kind of thing that you've seen too much of. Whatever's the, yeah, whatever's the mainstream. Whether it's people who do act outs or people who just stand on stage, you find your thing you hate, and then you'd make your thing different. We were talking a week or two ago about, is there like a possibility to be like a highbrow prop comic? Yeah. Oh, I think so. Yeah. I've been thinking about it a lot.

Like, might change my whole act and just become a prop. I absolutely think so. I think the ballpark now, like, we hated, like, Cross and I, I did an interview with Cross one day. I was interviewing him

for a pilot I made, and the pilot was pretty cool. It was old comics talking about what it was like and then introducing their favorite new comic. That's a great idea. Yeah, it was called There Might Be Cake, but it didn't get picked up. You should do a podcast of it.

I know. Well, you know what they picked up instead was Comedy Bang Bang. Oh, okay. So they wanted to go that way. Right. They didn't want it to be like a 30 for 30 or whatever. So doc you. But I like that idea.

I still like that idea. Yeah, that's great. So Cross and I did it. And then Cross got to curate the whole night. So then he had like Matt liked that idea. I still like that idea. Yeah. So cross and I did it. And then cross got to curate the whole night. So then he had like Matt Bronger, he had Matt Bronger, Tig. And then you got to pick somebody that was an influence.

So it was Matt Bronger, Tig and Dana. Oh, I hosted it. And so then I would do the interview. It was a really cool show. It was a really neat show. I still think it could go somewhere.

It's just interesting to, because I do feel like young comics should realize that you're going to reach a point where you'll be old enough to go i don't hate that guy i hate it so much i actually now probably respect him more than anybody else yeah my definition of what a hack is was just my own fear of being seen doing something that my that the other my other friends don't like. Right, right, right. Not the greater world. But now, because of the internet, I think you're either good or you're bad. You either are a hit for somebody or you can't.

But there's no rules. Oh, that's true. So a super highbrow prop comic? I mean, Joel Madison, the guy who created MST, Joel Hodgson was a prop comic. Oh, the history science theater? I believe he was a prop comic. Really? Yes.

Huh. I believe he was a prop comic, and I think he was on Letterman. I think that's right. And I think he was highbrow. Because it's something that you never see. It's the same with ventriloquism. Ventriloquism seems to exist kind of in a base yep level there's a couple people there's a woman named nina conti in uh england and she does a like a very meta

kind of act and then there maybe there was like a really dirty guy that did ventriloquism oh uh for george yeah yeah george and otto. Yeah, yeah, George and Otto. Otto and George, yeah. And then kind of, but like, what else could you name in the world of ventriloquism that you're like, oh, that was the avant-garde ventriloquist? Well, I mean, can I tell you something? I'm a dead terrorist.

I think there was a great flushing of the system when we, in the 90s. I'm not going to keep using we, because it's not like we, you know, but in the 90s i'm not gonna keep using weeks i it's not like we you know but but in the 90s we if you had a fucking callback you were a hack like we were we had so you just got rid of everything yeah but what so that so you clear house right right throw carrot top on the fire for no reasons there's nothing wrong with what he does and i guarantee you i'll be out of business and my daughters will be going out to vegas to see him ironically and for fun.

He's going to be a legend. I feel like he's come back around through the irony and now it's actually just fun. Can I tell you something? If you liked Weird Al when he started, you were a fucking idiot. Right, right, right. If you were cool. Right. Right?

And during that period, I ended up opening for him at a club very much like the Fox Cabaret. Yeah. And I went, mad respect. Fuck, I don't know anything. He's awesome. I just had to see it, had to be at it, had to understand it. And then went, because a lot of people can do what he's doing, but they can't because he can and there's no explaining it.

And he does quite a show. And he owns the ability to, because rewriting people's songs was considered super hot. Yeah. And there's a lot of zillions of people who do it right and not as well so that we so we as a as a as a bunch of white fascist comics and a handful but it just that would be a show white fascist comics well it's it's the trump campaign really as if you took him if he wasn real, he'd be so fucking funny.

I have the best steaks. I don't know what you're talking about. You brought steaks. You won a primary, and then you brought steaks and water and showed everybody. That's out of a Mr. Show sketch. I think he's cool. I also have steaks.

You can afford to. Do you hear that horrible thing that happened in Canada? No. Because it didn't. But like he sold steaks at a, like a gift store, right? Sharper image. Sharper image. So it wasn't like Trump steaks go to the grocery store.

But they still exist or he still is flaunting them? He won a primary, but they were challenging the fact that those companies still existed. Even though he won this primary, he blasted it. Okay. So during his acceptance speech, on the stage next to his podium was a stack of his waters and a pile of his steaks. Actually. Actually.

Wow. Not talking about. Right. We got them. They're right here. Can I? It's like a little boy goes, I do have that baseball card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucking have it Not talking about. Right. We got them. They're right here. Can I? It's like a little boy goes, I do have that baseball card. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I fucking have it. This is the one. Okay, dude. I got it. Okay. You have the card. Yeah. It was really.

Yeah, but it's, that's not, that's like, there could be any stakes that he just put his name on. Not only that, that's exactly what it was. He got some bottles made up with his name on it. Yeah, like in any prop department. You have to understand he's absolutely out of his fucking mind.

No, he's... Like, he's absolutely, absolutely batshit. So anyway, yeah, he was nuts.

But anyway, so I think what happened is that this level, the playing field got leveled in some way. And then, but what came back out of it, like even telling jokes was considered hack. So what was it? Was it like just going up and doing stream of consciousness?

Yes. Was the thing? Okay. Basically, it was trying to sort of grab the authenticity of the grunge movement or that alternative or that punk stuff or like just being or talking to your peer group. I think it was just trying to relate to your peer group. was you know there was slacking was a big deal and yeah it was the advent of coffee and all this stuff was happening you know there was all of this all of this stuff happening pot was still very illegal and you know we were just starting to find out about bondage and snm and sex was becoming a more um uh reliable topic for being on stage you know

and i think, but out of that, you get tenacious D. So, if someone's going to come back with a guitar, they're going to blow you fucking away.

Or you get Mitch Hedberg, who, if you're going to write jokes, this is how you write them and present them. Yeah, right. Right? Like,

and I think everybody, because, you know, Hicks had been around in our era and many of us had some experience whether it was opening for him

or just getting to see him. I opened for him a couple of times and I think everybody saw he was a touchstone for in some ways sticking to your own personal truth. Now, personal truth doesn't mean you're telling the truth. It's just being 100% genuine to what you do and really, really crafting it. And so Tenacious D was like, we didn't see that coming.

We're like, oh, these guys have good – oh, my God, are they good. Oh, my God, this is unreal. This is a meta. It's a song about being in a band. It's a song in a song. It was so inspired and so interesting. When you worked with Bill Hicks, was it in front of a crowd that liked Bill Hicks, or was it in front of one of the crowds that he was battling with and they didn't know what he was doing? Well, because he still worked in comedy clubs and not theaters, you got a bunch of both.

Oh, wow. Wednesday through Sunday, sometimes Tuesdays in the old days. Wednesday through Friday. He would walk the crowd a lot. Because Wednesday nights are like the cheap nights. Well, now it's changed because there's a comedy fan base, right? So you know if you're a comic, Thursdays and Sundays are the best. Yeah. That's when the fans come out. They don't want to go to the dog and pony show on Friday and Saturday night if they can help it.

But Bill was just new enough and interesting enough and comedy crowds were just not sophisticated enough. And he was never legend. You know, that's the great sadness of him is he was never legend like he is now. So most people didn't know what they were getting, and they found him confrontational. Right. Oh, yeah, I guess if you were just going out and like, I like Marty Putz. I like, you know, I like the comedy I've seen on TV.

Yeah. And then you get this guy who's just screaming and stuff. If your first movie is Eraserhead, you might go, you know, movies may not be for me. You know, the challenge is too much like i think it just was not that he was that challenging and he was bright but it's it's really interesting and i think you guys know this as comics and artists like it's really interesting even when you do like even now you'll do something you're like that can't be over your heads and then

you go back and re-explain it to the crowd and then they didn't get it and they seem like smart people right yeah like well my my joke my jokes aren't that high bro no but no no no but like like you infer something or you you you pretty much feel like you've walked somebody down the pier and then you realize you haven't walked them down the pier and i think there was no framework in which to know bill was talking about because these people didn't live anywhere close to his kind of life or understand the adventures he was going on and to talk about being okay with taking acid and people like i don't even mind that to me to me that's still like something that will kill you like they just didn't have perspective or the um cultural understanding or that or or his fan base never could find him really and the comedy club was never the place to go to find that thing but there wasn't an alternative world either for

him to operate in so he'd walk people a lot. But when he was good, it was unreal. You know, he was really, really good. So if he, yeah, if he had more of the whatever, acolytes in the crowd. When he worked at San Francisco, I'd say his batting average was about four good shows out of 10. Oh. Yeah, like four ones where he really got everyone on site

and like that, you know what I mean? Anyone will tell you that. And then he'd get pissed during it. And I understand. And then when people like that you know i mean anyone will tell you that and uh um uh and then he'd get pissed during it and i understand and then when people would you know somebody would say something he'd go fucking at him and it would i mean you know as a comment you were like yeah let's do this but i do remember times where i was like you know i it was like um it was we worked two weeks in a row and we worked on it me and Margaret Cho and him and Cho was great

and then Bill went up and then I was sitting back in the green room and they're like it's over what?

it's fucking over the show's over and I got up it was like 10 minutes in the crowd was fucking walking out on moss and I was like oh fuck okay

well thanks for coming everyone I gotta go oh yeah put your business cards in the hey Marlon Wayans is coming to put your business cards in the... Hey!

Marlon Wayans is coming! But not yet. I don't think he's been born yet, but he would be coming eventually. Yeah, oh no. You were pressing it that way. That's the bad thing. You were like the angel in the Bible.

I'm the prophet of the Wayans. And I would... Because, you know, I was telling someone the night, you know, because I've been around since the ancients, my first experience with Canadians, with Canadian people, really, I had a roommate in college. Or it's fur traders. Well, and then I met a beaver. My first, besides my friend Clay, in comedy, were Jim Carrey.

Oh, yeah. Before he was on In Living Color. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. And he was coming up and he was considered

quite a big, he was going to be a big deal and he was young and he was fucking unreal. Yeah. And kind of like a bizarre because... There was nobody doing

what he was doing at that moment. There's still kind of nobody doing... It was like... It was crazy. Yeah. And it was catching on moment. There's still kind of nobody doing. It was like. It was crazy. Yeah, and it was catching on quick. Like by the end of the week, people would come back and bring matches and throw them on stage when he would do. It wasn't called Fireman Jim.

It was just a guy who'd been in a fire. And then he would turn his head and turn back around. It looked like his face had been on fire. And you were like, fuck, how does he do? Like he really was impressive. And he was also really nice. But I was like, that was my first he was also really nice but i was like that was my first taste of like oh i see so canadians are sweet on the outside and then filled with

spiders on the inside yeah but like and then could you do that now just like hey let's make fun of burn victims i don't know i don't know i don't know and i mean you may i don't know. I don't know. And I mean, you may, I don't know. But I always heard he had, you know, he had established an act as he could do impression. Yes. And he was, he could have just, you know, played Vegas till old age. Yeah. Like he was, he was set for success and then he didn't want to be that. So he threw it all out. You know, he wrote a different check to himself every week.

Oh yeah, that's right. He wrote a check to himself a million dollars he would he'd do that stuff but then like he'd have somebody bring him in like if there was a um uh uh what's that thing where you put boxes on you know wheel it you put it underneath boxes and you wheel it what's that oh like a like a dolly or yeah sometimes you have people bring him in on a dolly. If he could find one, just wrap himself up, just have him lay on a dolly and they'd wheel him up to the stage. Like he would just make shit up while you were there. And he was, and of course there were times, he too, where people were like, I don't, this is not what I came to see. What about the, what about flight and dogs and sex?

You know, what about my wife? Talk about my wife? Yeah. Talk about my wife. Please talk about my wife because that's why I come here. Yeah. So he, he was, he was great and he was super nice. And Norm, those were my first two. Oh, well, that's pretty, that's pretty good.

And he's also been, and he's also very sweet and very nice, you know, but both of those guys are a little, you know, I you do some couch time, I think. A little certifiable. Oh, yeah. A little certifiable. I mean, there aren't lots of guys like that in the business, but they were particularly kind, both of them. Very sweet. Yeah.

And also guys that if you see them again, even if they don't remember your name, they remember you. And they make a point of like going over and. Every time I've ever run into Jim, I've always made a point of coming over and saying hi. Oh, wow. Yeah, he's always friendly. And same with Norm. Norm's really nice. We're taught up here that the manners and such.

Yeah. That's a big. Everybody but the guy who let me into the country yesterday. He was not having it. Oh, yeah. Oh, really? You gave him the gears? guy led me into the country yesterday he was not having it oh yeah oh really was he you gave a well i came in i i came in in the yeah as a uh you know if you come in for pleasure or for business and i said well ticket sales will say i'm here for pleasure um and so he was a little bit like um

excuse me what's happening what are you doing today sorry right wait you're coming in from los angeles the last 10 people have been to los angeles in los angeles yeah and you're coming in from Los Angeles The last ten people Have been to Los Angeles I'm in Los Angeles Yeah And you're doing what business? Show I'm performing There's no business like it I go I'm performing at the Fox Cabaret I don't know it

Alright Do you know all the venues in town? I mean I get it Maybe that's not good for me It's the You know they showed him the address And then he's And you're staying

And I go The best Western. No. Are you staying in Vancouver? What is happening? Why? I mean, you are really like you're 24 years old and you're taking this job way too

seriously. And this can make a long day for you. Right. I'm not. All right. Look, I've come here with, I'm,

I'm filled with ecstasy. Yeah. There's just bags of Molly. There's just bald mags of Molly tied to my body. And I've come here To shoot some shit up Yeah So then I don't think

He could decide And then you're leaving What are you sad now Why are you changing Personalities We um Yeah don't go Don't go

There's the The greatest Canadian reality show Is the one about The border guards Oh really And it's Well I mean there's

Not too many Great Canadian reality shows There's one about The hockey mean, there's not too many great Canadian reality shows. There's one about the hockey wives. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's the great Canadian reality show. Yeah. Canada's favorite town.

But there's one about border guards and it's all, they're all like young, serious dudes. Young, serious dudes. And a lot of, a lot of people accidentally bringing in roots from different countries. Just bringing in like a suitcase full of roots. Carrots still with dirt on them and roots attached. Oh yeah, I was going to plant these when I got here. Yeah, it's a lot of food. We got to take that away from you and burn it or whatever.

Yeah, that's mostly what it is. And some Americans were like, oh, I'm not allowed to carry a gun? Oh, yeah, there's also a lot of I didn't know that I couldn't carry a gun across the border. But that's usually the land borders, not people who have gotten on a plane. Yes, yeah, yes. Oh, I forgot that was in there. I did pack my own bag, but I forgot that. Those guys should work.

It sounds like your guys should work at our border. It seems like if they really want to go for it, try a different border. I got a border for you. You want to stop looking at carrots, go down south. We get a grilling. We get a grilling when we go down there from time to time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just the guy.

It's always to a man. It's to a man or woman. It's never a unified thing. Most of us live in America. I don't give a fuck how you got here, where you got here. Are you nice? Do you have a job? We don't care.

We really don't. As long as you're white, it's great. Yeah, I mean, nobody, yes, yes, yes, yes. That doesn't need to be said. No, truly, we made quite a big deal out of it. And the more you make a big deal out of it. And, you know, the more you make a big deal out of it. I mean, look, you know, if I lived in Mexico, I'd like to go anywhere. You know what I mean?

Yeah. You know. It would be a tough country to live in, I imagine. Yes. Well, you know, they're not sending their best and brightest. That's what they're sending. They're sending rapists. They're sending rapists.

Criminals. You're quoting a statesman? And they're not even sending the good rapists or the good criminals. They're sending rapists? They're sending rapists. Criminals? Yeah. Are you quoting a statesman? And they're not even sending the good rapists or the good criminals. They're not sending their best. Yeah. What I just said was absolutely awful. When I got, when I, so two, so a year ago, just a little over a year ago, I was in Australia. Okay.

Where I've been lucky enough to be able to perform quite a bit. Where? What city? I do the Melbourne Festival and then I do it and then you say and then I've been doing the road show

and going around the entire country with like six other comics you go to Sydney you go to Sydney you go up to Cambria and then you do

Towns You Can't Say and you know what I mean it's not unlike taking that Just for Laughs tour from Toronto to Vancouver right that I did a couple years ago

I did it yeah I did it once and I went to everywhere. Right. That I did a couple years ago. I did it, yeah. I did it once and I went to everywhere. You know, you play hockey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, cool. You know, I mean, half hockey rinks, the whole stadium. But...

Yeah, they curtained it off. They curtained it off, but still more people than... It's nice. But anyway, so there's a version of that in Australia. But anyway, so last year I ended up getting i get sick i had cancer and uh uh and i found it there in australia yeah i had stomach aches before i left and they were and they and my doctors did everything but they didn't look inside me you know i might be gas but that's not a great diagnosis uh when it turns out to be cancer uh You're off by a tumor or two.

But anyway, so then the pain got excruciating and I went to the emergency room and they're like, okay, you have tumors in your intestine. You need to go home. Wow. Yeah. And I was so high because they, I mean, they, you know, they gave me drugs to inoculate the pain. I was so high. I was like back to my apartment. They're like, no, America, you have to go to America.

You can't have your cancer here. And I was like, oh, wow. Which I like, back to my apartment? They're like, no, America. You have to go to America. You can't have your cancer here. And I was like, oh, wow. Which I didn't want to have my cancer there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, so I have cancer?

We don't know you have cancer, but it could be. Yeah, you didn't declare it at the border, so you cannot bring it in. You can't bring your cancer in here. So, but they were actually very nice

and they gave me drugs and put me on an airplane. And, but they, but I was super high when I packed and I put a knife in my backpack. Right, yeah, sure. And so when I went through the, you know, but I was super high when I packed and I put a knife in my backpack.

Right. Yeah, sure. And so when I went through the, you know, when I was at the airport and I was going through the machines, the lady goes, why do you have a knife? Yeah. That's not a knife. She said, she said, you have a knife. And I actually said to her, this is how, how, how much I was on Oxycontin. I go, oh, I have cancer. And she honestly said to me how much I was on Oxycontin. I go, oh, I have cancer.

And she honestly said to me, which was so brilliant, I don't know what the next sentence is. Yeah. Just like, okay, sir. And then I start laughing. She goes, I can give you a hug, but you got to leave the knife. Yeah. She starts looking through the employee manual like, well, I don't know.

It's quite a loophole. She starts looking through the employee manual like, well, I don't know. It's quite a loophole. So are you going to cut the cancer out of yourself on the plane? I'm a little. No, no, that's OJ's knife. I just travel with it. Now, are you cancer free? Yes, I'm cancer free. Congratulations.

Thank you very much. So did you have to do the chemo and all that? Six rounds of chemo. I have a thing called non-Hodgkin's B-cell lymphoma. And it's in my intestine. And I got close to, it was shutting my intestines down. So that's why I was getting close to dying. But the cancer was pretty easily eradicated.

Wow. Because it's one that they have, you know, a treatment for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They know how to. Scott Thompson of the kids in the hall hall at same exact cancer in 2011. So it's, uh, um,

so I lucked out in that way. We, we lucky to have cancer. And, uh, um, uh, yeah.

So, so, um, it's been, I've been cancer person since, uh, September last year. That's amazing.

You do not, you do not look like a guy who's been through six rounds of chemo. You look very healthy. And I, well, that's nice of you to say. Thank you. Well, I mean, I did. I mean, I, you know, I had the, you know, I did the, you know, I lost all my hair. Right.

Yeah, yeah. Got down to a really nice. Eyebrows? Everything. Really? Every bit of it. Did you? Because some people, it's patchwork.

Right, right, right. I think it depends on how much you do and how strong it is or whatever you're doing. Because all it does is attacks the fast-growing cells in your body and your hair and your fingernails are your fastest growing cells do your fingernails fall out all right no they don't nothing happens to them but they get brittle but the but the hair fell eyebrows eyelashes gentle eyelashes everything i didn't even think about let me just tell you this let me just tell you this you don't know how clean you can be Right

Until you lose your ass hair And then you're like I didn't even know it was bad back there Oh my god Now I get the Brazilian I didn't get the Brazilian before I was like It must have been hard on you

You have a beautiful head of hair Yeah Yeah Well the great thing is Is your ego goes And you're like I don't give a shit. I just want to be

my daughter's girl. How's the skull under there? Not bad. Corganesque? Not bad. Yeah, it's, I think it, well, you know what?

I'm not carrying all that sadness around in my head. You know what I mean? Because I'm not in a rage. His sadness is infinite. It's infinite. Well,

and that accounts for the, you know, why so melancholic? Yeah. Is that, do you think he still talks like that? Did he ever? I don't think so.

No, I saw him on a, he was on a show recently, like a talk show where he was talking about wrestling or something. Yeah. Yeah. He talked about wrestling and he also like takes some kind of supplements and he was like big about the supplement and uh that's great yeah he i mean he looks quite good for a guy who was you know in the grunge era he still kind of looks like the same as he always did yeah i mean a give and take of you'll see i

mean i yeah i mean if i had if i had many many deadly singers. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, if I had if I had to go back and be one of them, I'd take that Chris Cornell gene, whatever that is. The guy from Soundgarden. He still looks like he looks fucking he looks amazing. But there's some of those guys like I think like, well, maybe Slash from Guns N' Roses doesn't look good. I don't know. His hair is always in his face. Yeah, that's true.

But he looks to me. You could just transplant him back then and he would look exactly the same. Slash. Slash. Yeah, Slash. Slash sort of has it. And Duff looks better. Duff does look better.

Duff's like, you know. What is he doing right? Well, here's what's interesting. So I was reading his biography when I was in Australia. And he had talked about his pancreas exploding and what it felt like. And that if it happens, you only have an hour to live. So that's what I thought happened to me because my insides were burning. They were literally burning.

I get that way when I read a book, I'm like, Oh, this is happening to me. Right. But I, but it was actually happening. I've never been in more pain in my life. Like to the point where I was like, you just put me out of my misery. Just literally, I don't, I don't even know how to cry. This is so much pain. This is agony. And, and anyway, so know how to cry. This is so much pain, agony.

And, and anyway, so, but his book, but so when he got, he sobered up and then, I mean, his whole life story turnarounds unreal,

you know, he, he, he went back to college. I thought he could get into a, he thought he could get into like a good school. Cause he was in guns of roses and he wanted to study business. But he's like, I have money. I'll get Guns N' Roses and he wanted to study business.

He's like, I have money. I'll buy my way into Harvard. He's very funny about it. And they're like, no, you got to go to the fucking junior college. So he did. He went to junior college. He got a business degree. For people who don't know who we're talking about, Duff McKagan. The bass player from Guns N' Roses.

Yeah, yeah. So old Duff goes back to college. Oh, man, I'd watch that movie. Duff goes back to college? He goes back to college. He gets himself a business degree. And then he's studying finance and business and all that. And his brother says, you know, you don't have to have a broker.

You know, all the records for companies are public. If you wanted to decide, just find some companies that you like. Right. And he's living in Seattle. And it's the early 90s. And he's like, I don't know, maybe Microsoft or Starbucks. He bought Microsoft, Starbucks. He just looked out the window.

And Apple. Oh, my goodness. And has had it ever since. So he just. Just. So that money. Just that money. Yeah.

His family's fine. Him and Sammy Hagar is a big investor. And like, not just. Oh, no, no, no. Did you know Sammy Hagar's story? Oh, my God. I'm the oldest poor. I'm a sp investor in like, not just. Oh, no, no, no. Did you know

Sammy Hagar's story? Oh my God, I'm the oldest, poorest, most boring man I've met. Listen to this, this moron.

This fucking genius. What did Sammy do to you? This genius in a haircut. Nothing. He's actually, I read his book. Well, he's a little right wing for me,

but he, in his book, he talks about when he finally had money, the first thing he did was he went back to all the places where his father used to beat him and he bought them. So he bought an apartment building. He bought like two apartment buildings and a home and he rebuilt all of them. And during the building of the, one of the buildings, they said, look, you gotta have a fire hydrant here. He's like, I can't have a fire hydrant there.

He goes, why do you build apartments? Like we have, we don't have enough water. If something happens, we need a thing. And he goes, what if you put a sprinkler system in the roof? I got like, so he was among the first people to invent indoor sprinkler systems. What? Yes. Really?

That's amazing. And that company sold for millions. Wow. Yeah. And then he stumbled into mountain bikes. He was one of the first guys on mountain bikes like forrest gump unbelievable unbelievable unbelievable and then the tequila stuff wow he was always like yeah yeah there's a a story that i read just a couple months ago about Al Capone was the first guy to put an expiry date on milk. Yeah.

Expiry. As we say. But he was the, because some kids in his neighborhood got sick from drinking bad milk. Yeah. And he just said, well, we should put a date that you can't sell it by. And because he knew people in government, he made it happen. He was like the Sammy Hagar of gangsters. He kind of was.

Man, he just stumbled into that. Look, I'll shoot a bitch. I'll bust your head open with a baseball bat if legend is true. But I don't want you getting sick. Yeah, come on. We need to fix this problem right now. Hey. Hey. Thanks.

Yeah, you're welcome. I love that. This is the kind of thing that... Are you saying that Al Capone would have been down with Black Lives Matter? You're saying he's a community-oriented guy who gets involved? I think he's a community... Sure. You know, he was...

Sure. He had a dark side, sure. Sure. But I think he was... He said a different way of running government, but he was also going to participate in the system. Yes. Look, I could comment. Absolutely.

He didn't forget where he was from. That's right. You know? Yeah. Just because he did well for himself in the brackets. What's the guy, the Colombian drug dealer guy? Oh, Escobar. He's like a hero.

Yeah. In Colombia, because he would spread the money around, and he could tell big government to go fuck themselves. Yeah. Or he would just kill people. I mean, he was a little bit above. Yeah, sure. I mean, look, there's got to be some collateral damage

when you're running your own government within a government, and you're making your own plans. I'm sure Robin Hood had to take a few people out if you want to, but that's just, that's part of the plan. That's the story you don't hear. That's the story about, yeah. Yeah. That's the, that's the, that's the story that I like.

I want to, I like that. I want to make that movie. Yeah. You know? Well, that one with. Robin Hood, Spiteful Vengeance. And it's just him fucking just looking good. I'll get good air with this fucking arrow.

Look at this guy. Why don't we give him a throat? Yeah, that was supposed to be the, the one with Russell Crowe was supposed to be from the point of view of, um, Oh, what's his name?

The sheriff. Oh, yeah. Oh really? And it was, he was, he was the good guy, the sheriff and Robin hood is this guy who's wreaking havoc.

And then, uh, Russell Crowe kept rewriting the script until it was just this same old was the good guy the sheriff and robin hood is this guy who's wreaking havoc and then uh russell crowe kept rewriting the script until it was just this same old story right bird but originally the script was what if robin hood's the bad guy and it's awesome yeah that's awesome and then they go back and make that movie oh but you know the russell crowe he's yeah oh boy he's still attached yeah but you know what you could do now is now you make that a Netflix series. Or you make it an Amazon series or something like that. And you just follow it for, like, I mean, because it's still a really worthwhile story. Yeah.

That's a, you know. And we all know the characters, you know, going in. So, yeah. There's the Fox guy. I only know the Disney. The Fox guy. There's the fat drinking guy. The fat drinking guy. I only know the Disney. The Fox guy. There's the fat drinking guy.

The fat drinking guy. Brian Adams sings a song. Right, right, right. There's Friar Tuck. Yep, yep. Christian Slater's in it. It's all. And Kevin Costner, I think. And Morgan Freeman, I think.

That's right. Of course he is. He plays God or at least has that wisdom. I love anything like that. I love all the like um i love uh rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead right now i love any time or even shakespeare in love is really well done like that kind of like taking what we already know what we already know yeah people who are able to do that and do it well are so like that's the they were trying somebody said to me so i contacted the guy who wrote the umacements book just to say, hey man, I'm really fucking, this is an, not since Dino have I read such a good show business bio.

It's touching. The story of the dinosaur from the Flintstones? Yes. Yeah, I purple. Ah, yeah, that's a silly, you don't want to hear that story. That story, oh my God, please somebody write that. That's a silly. You don't want to hear that story. That story. Oh, my God. Please, somebody write that. The other Dino.

Yeah, the other Dino. Story of the dinosaur. But it's him. He's got a cigarette on the cover. I remember when Fred tried to lock the cat out. Everyone knew Barney was gay. But the only one that didn't like it was Dino. By the way, it's a really beautiful book. And so I wrote him and said, is there going to be a documentary?

And he said, I think there's a documentary on the works, but they're talking about the film or TV rights. And I was like, oh God, you can't make a movie out of that. And I was trying to figure out like, you could, if it was the roadie story or the manager or like some kid that follows, like you can't, it's so hard with, with any kind of biography of a real human being to really capture them. Unless they're just so far in history. We don't give a shit. They really talked or looked,

you know, it's real time has to go by to be able to capture something that you is uncapturable. Cause then you can just sort of make up, then it's just legend. Well, and it's also, yeah.

Like if the person is just passed away and there's like people from the estate are involved i guess that's why the uh the freddie mercury biopic is yeah i just started watching uh i got about half an hour into it there's uh did you see the movie man on wire the documentary about the guy well i saw the documentary yes great and then they made a real version like five years later yeah with Did you see the movie Man on Wire, the documentary about the guy? Well, I saw the documentary. Yes. It was great. And then they made a real version like five years later. Yeah, with Joe.

With Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Right. Doing a French accent the whole time. Oh, boy. And wearing like blue contact lenses. Yeah. Is it bad? It's so bad.

Because now he's doing Snowden and he has a, the accent is like, what? The whole film, huh? Because it's not like he's that well known. That is. Oh, that's doing Snowden and he has a, the accent is like, what are you, the whole film, huh? Because it's not like he's that well known. That is. Oh, that's not Snowden. That's not the whale. You know, and the thing about the replacements was they're, they're full Minneapolis. So they have that full.

Fargo. Oh my, I mean, they do. I mean, you hear their interviews and you're like, oh my God, these are the most, these guys are awesome. Yeah. You know, they really sound working class. Like they really are like the real deal. Midwestern. Peter Buck from the real deal Midwestern. Peter Buck from REM called it Midwestern fatalism.

They really are just a mess. And now you just can't capture that. You can't really catch that on film, but you could do it if you were the bus driver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The story of the bus driver of The Replacements, and somehow you tell the story backwards or absurdly. There was the one that- Or the Sheriff of Nottingham in The Replacements. So they go into a forest. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I would almost be more open to that. I'd rather- I like a mashup. Yeah, or I'd rather be told by somebody who would, has no sense of, like if Wes Anderson made it,

we're like, okay, these are not The Repl- Yeah. Now it's a fantasy book. Tim Burton's The Replacements. Oh my God. Why don't we have a studio, guys? I don't know.

All of these ideas. I don't remember Johnny Depp being in The Replacements, but okay, fine. Yeah, Jim Burton only hired him. It's the hell of Bonham Carter on drums that keeps throwing me. But she does look a little bit like Chris Mars. All right, fair enough. Now, do we want to move on to a bit of business? Yeah, let's do that.

Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You got to do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You got to shine your shoes. You got to sweep the floor. You got to clean your house. You got to do some more. Take care of business.

This week on the show, we have a Jumbotron message. This one is from Mark to Karina. Happy birthday, Karina. I wanted to wish you all the very best, all of it, for your 30th birthday from your loving boyfriend, Mark. P.S. If we don't make it back from skydiving, at least this podcast will go on. Oh, fun. Yeah. Ooh, scary.

Well, it's your 30th birthday you gotta do it i had to do it it's the law uh i didn't do it and i never will what was big when i was 30 what was it would have been the extreme sport in the year 2010 uh wakeboarding yeah i did a celebratory wakeboard yeah you do that every year every year, though. That's not true. I know. Well, I grew up on the lake. Yep. I'm lake people. Yeah, you are lake people.

So, happy birthday. Yes, happy birthday, Karina. And if any of you out there would like to have a Jumbotron message on the show, head over to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. Now, do you want to move on to Overheard? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Hi. Are you a fan of Star Trek The Next Generation?

Well, that's weird because it's a corny show. But my friends Ben Harrison and Adam Pranica do a lovely podcast about it. It's called The Greatest Generation, and it's on MaximumFun.org. I thought that this podcast was a bad idea, but I was wrong. Please listen to The Greatest Generation on MaximumFun.org. Hi, my name is Jonathan Van Ness and I'm the host of Getting Curious. Let me ask you a question. What do you know nothing about, but you just can't stand to like find anything about it because it's just too stiff?

I know for me, there was too many things to even count. So I decided I needed to start a podcast where I could find things out and make them more easily digestible to not only myself, but to you. You can find Getting Curious on iTunes or on maximumfun.org overheard overheard a segment in which we hear uh hilarious things out there in the world and then we come back here we share them yeah and we always like to start with the guest if you have one uh like a like a just a piece of us uh yeah some kind of conversation you've overheard or this is hilarious this is old and this is from i mean this is a true story and uh and i and i talk about it in one of my shows but i did walk by a conversation

once and i was this was in i think it was in dallas um or yeah i just a woman talking to another woman, and she said, you know what? Fuck him if he don't like chicken strips. Yeah. And I was like, man, the women down here have standards. They are not getting off. It really was like, and I really could, because of the book, I was able to take that and run with it, and, of course, I would adjust it.

I'd make it about every city, just like I was was david lee roth and uh the women here love their chicken strip it really was uh it really was like um yeah yeah i love it fuck him if he don't like chicken strips that's true stand on your own yeah you know what i mean and that's telling is she serving them or is she they want she wants to go somewhere that serves them or i assumed it was something like that. Like that was his excuse for not wanting to. Oh, man, I don't know. I don't even really like chicken strips. What?

Yeah. How dare you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck him. Fuck him. Where do they serve chicken strips? Bars? Comedy clubs?

Yeah, or she had just gotten hooked up with a shitty vegan. That'd be a good name for a restaurant, the shitty vegan. That is pretty good. And he's got just like a frown. Yeah, he's just really uppity about it. He's like an anthropomorphic chia seed or something.

Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine, it isn't punchy. It doesn't have like a punchline or anything. It was just like the other day, this never happens around here. The other day I was sitting on my couch and I heard someone honking their horn for like 10 seconds straight. And I got up and I looked and I didn't see anything. And I thought, oh, they must have driven past.

And then I heard the honk again. So I went up out to my front porch and i live on a narrow street and there were two cars just having a showdown like i'm not gonna move you're not gonna move fine let's just wait it out i can wait all day let's honk it out and but there was a woman behind all of this that was honking her horn and then just like screaming her face off, telling people to go fuck themselves. Oh, no. And this very nice old man went up to her and said, would you mind keeping it down?

And she said to him, fuck you, loser. Now that had a punchline. That's an awesome story. Yeah, wow. And it was like the Donald Trump trickle down of just like, everyone's a loser, but me, everyone can go fuck themselves. I'm a bully. Yeah.

Loser. And the people, the guy eventually did back up his car, but she wouldn't back up to let him out. So he had to like drive over the roundabout. And then like people were writing down her license plate and stuff. And she was telling them, you know what? I know shit about you. I'm going to tell, I'm calling the cops on you.

I'm going to write a tell all about this whole thing. Oh my God. That's fantastic. Oh boy. Wow. That is a great. It's just, it never happens here. Although there is, we do get a little, there's a corner around here where you're not allowed to turn left.

So people do cut through here quite a bit. Yeah. And the tensions, tempers flare, but never like that. It's always in your car where you've just assumed the worst. Like it's really interesting because generally the person's nameless, faithless, and colorless. Like you don't know. Yeah, it's just a car. You're a fucking moron.

It's unreal how fucked you are. Yeah. Look at your dumb car. It's so dumb. It's my wife. I can't believe there's another person with the same car as my wife who drives like an idiot. Oh, no.

Now, my overheard comes courtesy of, I went to we now have a post office box. So if people want to send us stuff, we can give them that. So yeah, email us and we'll send you the PO box. So I was at the post office box. We got

sent some more Girl Scout cookies. Yeah. A few weeks ago on the show show we were talking about how we only get Girl Guide cookies And there's only two kinds in Canada Yeah So people have been sending us boxes and boxes Of the American, because you have a bunch of different varieties in America Yeah, I saw those out there when I, yeah

Yeah I saw those when we came in Yeah, we got sent them in the mail by a lady named Dee Oh, hello Sent us, I don't remember what ones, there's coconut ones and a lot of them had peanut butter. Yeah, there's Tagalogs. No, Tagalogs, that's the language in the Philippines. Tagalongs. Yeah, yeah. No, I like, there's the Philippine cookie that's

very popular. Girl Scout cookie. It's lemongrass or something. And also a gentleman named Kent. It's very popular. Girl Scout cookie. It's lemongrass or something. Yes. Also, a gentleman named Kent. We've recorded a lot of episodes in the last week, and so we're out of overheards, and so Graham's counting mail. Yeah, exactly. That's all right. This gentleman had $20 of Canadian money in his possession and didn't know what to do with it.

Oh. Because he lives in Littleton, Colorado. Oh. And so he sent an email saying, I know you're not supposed to send cash through the mail, but let's try as an experiment. Made it through. Nice. And it's one of the old.

Look at that. Oh, yeah. The old 20. The queen's so young and hot on it. Yeah. Oh, that is a saucy queen. Look at her. Mm-hmm. But that's no Harriet Tub hot on it. Yeah. Oh, that is a saucy queen. Look at her. But that's no Harriet Tubman, guys.

No, that's right. We've long had a lady on our money. Everyone's long had everything. Like, we're the last people to figure it all out. Is that a hangman on your $10 bill? Yeah. Why are people so upset? Is that a hangman on your $10 bill? Yeah. People are so upset, you know.

But my overheard was when I was in the picking up our mail was I have this shirt that's from the television show live with Kelly and Michael. And now Michael's left the show. And there was an old lady in line in front of me and she turned around and looked at the shirt and she said, I never liked him anyway. Oh. So she's glad that this era has ended. Unreal. She's a Kelly fan.

Never liked Michael. Probably always had a bad feeling about him. Probably a little racist. I don't know. You know what? I was about to say that and then if I'm being honest, I never liked him either. Yeah, but that doesn't mean you're little racist. I don't know. You know what? I was about to say that. And then if I'm being honest, I never liked him either. Yeah, but that doesn't mean you're not racist.

Oh, shit. What a way to find out. It's so surprising. No, I never thought he was a particularly great TV host. So if I was Kelly Ripa, I would be like, you have got to be kidding me. I carried you. I work with a corpse. Yeah.

A legend, but a corpse. And a ball player with very limited broadcasting skills and a bad sense of humor who laughs at everything. And he's going to big time TV. He hosts six shows. Yeah, yeah. Although, I would rather have a show with my name on it than be one of the eight people hosting Good Morning America. Oh, yeah. You can admit, and you don't have to, Kelly and Mike, you just get to talk about your day.

Yeah, it's this show. Yeah. This show, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I would imagine that. But the optics, you know, where you can go from there. I'm sure his agent said, and maybe he's just he's just like man you spent that much time with kelly i don't know i've never spent any

time i'd have taken a job just in a different office i mean maybe you don't know maybe you don't know i mean i was on kelly and reed i mean yeah and um when back with the book yeah i was on twice and both times he was awesome he was awesome yeah yeah she was like just super professional like you would be doing any morning show anywhere in the world yeah just nice fine you know what i mean um uh but she but he was like funny and funny off air and cool yeah you were And you were like, you are a legend. But like, you kind of, and I have mad respect for anybody. I did the view

and like everyone was like, it was when the, you know, that right wingy girl from, Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Yeah, Hasselbeck,

who, by the way, in person, you have to remind yourself that she's that because you're like, good Lord, I don't know if I've ever seen

a better looking human being. She's unreal. Oh, wow. She's just beautiful. Huh. But hateful. But at one point, Barbara Walters put her hand on my knee, the same way Oprah did at

one point. And I was like, man, I've had a really fucking interesting life. Yeah. You really have. And these people are fucking pros. And she is, Barbara Walters was, you know, people really lose respect for people really quick. Like, she's old and doesn't know where she is.

Jesus Christ, she's still in show business. Yeah. Where are you? Yeah. Holy fuck. Yes, of course she's old. That's what happens. Well.

But man, she was fucking, it was fucking Barbara Walters. I don't remember who else was there. Yeah. I don't remember. I really don't. Like, that cast of people, I don't remember. Oh, Barbara Walters. Whoopi.

Yeah. Whoopi. Very nice also. Like, yeah, I do have respect for anybody who can really make this thing work for a long time because it's hard. Yeah. Very nice. Also like, yeah, I do have respect for anybody who can really make this thing work for a long time because it's hard. Yeah. And like, I don't know, like, uh, I don't, I can't picture another guy like Regis just being able to like, yeah, this is what I had for dinner last night and being engaging and being like, I like this guy. Just the fact that David Letterman liked Regis so much. I was like, oh, well, Regis must be great.

Well, and then you go back and show business history and see who his friends were. And then he was, you know, you have to attach people and go, all right. He was in Sinatra and Joey Bishop, Joey Bishop and Carson and all those. He was a part of that crowd. And, you know, backstage, like the rest of us, probably funny as fuck. You know, I mean, I met suzanne plachette who was on who was married to tom poston who was on the bob newhart show and she was dirty as fuck the filthiest person i've ever met in my life she was a fucking they're all hoofers they're all show

business oprah is not dirty or anything like that but if you hang out with like we did a she's seen some things yes and she's just from show business that That's it. She's no different than us. She had a show. It just got big, and then people attached D&D to her, and she ran with it. But you hang out with her, she's funny, and she knows where the cameras are supposed to be. She had to interview the Ninja Turtles at one point on her show. Yes, yes. And those people are legend, man, and you have to show the respect every once in a while.

Not all of them are great, but some of them you're like, man. They do good work. Now, we also have overheards sent in to us by listeners around the world. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. And this first one comes from Lee K. Chicago. This is Lee in Chicago. Collar, you're on the air. My husband just came home with a big bag of ice and slammed it against the ground to break it up.

Wow, said my seven-year-old. Daddy brought home the oldest ice in the world. Get it? Because he's super old. That's a good seven-year-old joke. Yeah. Yeah. Get it? Because dad's super old. That's a good seven-year-old joke. Yeah. Yeah. Get it?

Because dad's old. Oh, that really brought back, like, that just brought summer to me. Oh, yeah. Buying a block of ice. Or having to break ice. Or having to break, like, a popsicle in half. Yeah. Hell yeah.

Summer is, like, prime breaking frozen things. I mean, you're in Los Angeles, so year-round, you're just breaking. We're breaking ice all the time. I live in you're in Los Angeles, so year-round, you're just breaking. We're breaking ice all the time. I live in an ice mine. Oh, wow. So I'm down there with a pick all the time, just making cocktail ice for people. This next one comes from Laura F. This is in Hawaii.

Uh, in, uh, this is in Hawaii. Uh, I am on the big island of Hawaii and there are a group of, uh, of observatories on a mountain here that has a visitor center full of things to teach people about astronomy. There was a documentary playing in the center and there was a part where the narrator in a booming voice says, at the center of our galaxy lies a place where stars suffer a fate worse than death. A place where stars go to disappear. Sitting behind me is a couple and the woman gasps very sincerely and says, Oh no, the stars. Oh no, the stars. I do miss those film strips. Yes.

Oh man. Educational film strips. Yeah. I wonder if they do them anymore film strips. Yes. Oh, man. Yeah. Educational film strips. Yeah. I wonder if they do them anymore in school. No. Kids all have these phones. These iPads and phones. They could watch the film strip on YouTube.

But wouldn't they? Have they made an updated one that's more like in touch with kids? No, somebody just uploaded the old ones. Oh, cool. Yesterday at this show, there's a picture backstage in that theater of a woman laying on a bed with a guitar between her legs and she's in her it's like a it's like a like a burlesque type sure but it's from the it clearly is from the 50s right and she's got an old guitar and she's there and then um the comic i think it was ryan and he said oh look at that

and then there's a telephone and i said yeah look at that and then there's a telephone and i said yeah look at that and i go you know what they i go that's not just a telephone that's called a princess telephone and there was a telephone made specifically for women called a princess telephone and then i went i'm explaining phones to somebody couldn't see could you please poison my water please poison my water please poison my water you want to tell them about outlets Greg yeah but there was

the phone company went you know what women are doing a lot of their shit on themselves now all of a sudden getting apartments and such maybe we should make

a phone for them how is a princess phone different it's oval and it comes in light blue pink and yellow oh yeah yeah and they were like

so they were like, why? Does it vibrate or? Like that. I mean, you know. You know. You know what they do. Well, we have a, I don't know. Maybe it was a vibrator.

You're right. I don't know what a phone looks like. We have a, we found it in an alleyway, a telephone chair that you sit in and there's a little desk and the telephone sits there. Unbelievable. And it's useless now. And we put our coats on it. There you go. That was the last thing before the cell phone.

It was like, let's make it so people just stay right where they are. Like, don't even fucking leave the chair. It's just like that. Or they could take them with you. It's the opposite idea. chair it's just like that or they can take them with you yeah it's the opposite idea but it's good too I thought the chair phone was going to be a thing where people just

stayed home and made calls from the chair well what if they really like footballs could we just make a football shaped phone mmm

brilliant I had one shaped like a can of Coors I had a Coors beer phone oh we had a duck and it would quack oh my god these are fun.

Yeah, fun old phones. That's my new book. Fun old phones. Next week we're going to talk about drinking fountains on fun old phones. This last one

comes from Travis from South Florida. Driving to work saw a license plate frame that read happiness is talking to my parrot. And it talking back presumably parents live a long time apparently is that apparently um but like they have the

intelligence of a three-year-old and they'll just live for 40 years and just be like as annoying as a three-year-old for 40 years 40 years oh my god the, my God. The 40-year-old three-year-old. Oh, my God. That's what it's got to be like to be married to me. I think I really do wish that that bumper sticker said something different. I don't really like it. Yeah? I think it should have said,

I enjoy listening to my... Yeah, I know. I listen. Here's what sets me apart. Maybe... Yeah. Maybe it would... Maybe if it didn't have to scream for attention all the time,

it would develop some skills if it knew you were listening, but you're not. So it just keeps saying, you're naked. You're naked. You're naked. Well, that's all it knows. Yeah.

Because that's all I am. It's a three-year-old. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, pick up your princess phone, put in the following digits, 206-339-8328, like these people have. Hey guys, this is Corey calling in an overheard. I was at a skateboarding park in West Kelowna with my nephews. A club of sports cars comes rumbling by and catching the attention of all the teenage boys that are in the park and

they're swimming over the cars or list them off like Lamborghini Ferrari Porsche and all those and one boy says did you see that that was a Mercedes AMG it's like the nicest car ever and And his friend goes, tell me about it. Fine leather seats. Nice. Thanks, guys. These kids get it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Power windows. Oh, yeah.

All the extras. Yeah, big enough trunk for a hockey bag. Oh, sweet camera. It's got a backup. Our sweet car, it's got a hockey bag. Oh, sweet camera. It's got our backup. Our sweet car, it's got a backup camera. Sweet camera, too. It's got a backup car.

Do you have a car in your camera? I do. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. And is your camera on your phone? Yeah, it's all the same thing. So wait a minute, is your phone a car? It is now, yeah.

I sit on it, and it takes me away. Here's your next phone call. Hello, Dave and Graham. This is Nick from North Carolina. This is the worst overheard, and I'm no good at talking on the phone, so here we'll give you a try. Yeah, sure. I saw this, and I'm the worst at telling stories. I saw a guy in a FedEx shirt, he probably worked for FedEx,

running down a busy highway, and I thought that was peculiar, and I saw him pick up a small envelope, and when he picked up the envelope, he did a touchdown dance and started running back to his truck, which was like a block and a half away. Thank you guys, and I love you.

I just like that, because he really handicapped himself at the beginning. Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to use a phone properly. I got to say, if you're not good at talking into phones, that's a skill you should try to develop because it's coming. Yeah. I think we're past it. It's not too complicated.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah I mean we're kind of Talking into phones now Yeah Yeah I think And I think his story was good

He said he wasn't much Of a storyteller Oh no it was fine Yeah Good for you buddy You keep at it You did it Look what I want you to do

I want you to call back every week And we'll just slowly Build the skill as we go Yeah why not Yeah yeah yeah Work out a little bit Yeah It'll be like the Rocky of phone calls.

Yeah. Call in and I'll put you on the phone with a piece of meat. Yeah. And then we'll have you chase a rooster. And then get denied an Oscar for your fine performance in your 35th Rocky movie. He'll get it next time. Who did win it? Oh, the Bridge of Spies guy.

Yeah, and quite honestly, that movie's great and he was great in that, but Stallone's awesome in Creed. He should have gotten it. He really should have. They'll do another Creed, and he'll get another crack at it. Creed 2. Yeah. Here's your final overheard of 2016. Hey, Dave.

Hey, possible guest. This is Amanda calling in with an overheard from the Maryland Welcome Center on Interstate 68. I was there last week. I walked into the restroom. The three stalls that were not out of order were all occupied by girls who were probably 14, 15 years old, 17, I don't know. They're reading to each other out loud the things that have been scrawled on the walls of their stalls. So, you know, I'm just standing there just listening in like a weirdo. And none of them really made any sense until finally I get a good one.

The girl reads it out. She's like, hey, this one says, Elise loves dick. And they start laughing. And the second girl's like, oh, chill out, Elise. And they go back and forth, kind of giving this Elise girl a real hard time. And then it's quiet for a minute, and the third girl, who had not said anything up to this point, says, just very hesitantly, maybe it's her boyfriend's name. There's a long pause.

And then one of the first two girls is like, I mean, maybe, is it capitalized? Oh yeah. Yeah. Loves Dick with a capital D. Oh,

but then that also just sounds like, like, Oh, she loves Dick with a capital D. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then I would have kept it all caps.

Yeah, exactly. I'd have brought it home. If you scrawl anything on a bathroom wall, it's gotta be caps. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. But then I would have kept it all caps. Yeah, exactly. I would have brought it home. If you scrawl anything on a bathroom wall, it's got to be caps. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, different strokes. Right?

Sure. If we learned anything here today on the podcast, it was different strokes. Yeah, yeah. It's still weird that people bring pens with them to the bathroom. I'm fine with it. I have been and remain fine with it. There's a huge bathroom wall that you can write on called the internet. And people seem to be, you have a million different accounts.

That's all. I tried to explain that to someone early on, like when they were talking about haters and stuff. I go, these are just bathroom wall writers. That's all. Yeah. They're just sitting on the crapper, scraping something in with a fucking old pen. Like, this is just the bathroom wall in which they write. Like, that's the courage they have.

They can only do it when they're pants down, taking a shit. You know, like, they're just all bad at once. What a time to be alive. And meaningless. You know? When I used to write an at symbol and then a celebrity's name, though, I couldn't communicate with them. Yeah. Now I can. It's like if, yeah, celebrities reading mean graffiti about themselves. symbol and then a celebrity's name though i couldn't uh communicate with yeah that's how i

can it's like if yeah celebrities reading mean graffiti about themselves right right right right but that's a test that's a test for a celebrity which is don't are you really paying attention is this where you are today reading your ads uh right you should be busier yeah i don't see brad pitt's account on here. That's true. I always find that stuff really fascinating. It's like, well, you're participating. You're taking the bait. You're better.

I mean, I get Twitter feeds to an extent. Yeah. And if you're good at Twitter, I fully get it. But otherwise, what are you doing? Well, that's why I respect. You're looking for it there. And so, you get what you get. I respect Donald Trump so much because he never takes the bait.

No. If someone badmouths him, he's the bigger man. Yeah. He literally, did you see the thing with Anderson Cooper? Anderson Cooper goes, you just said about Cruz, he started it. Yeah. Like a five-year-old. Yeah.

He did start it. He's like, oh my God, I am a baby. Well, he did. He did start. He's like, oh, my God. I am a baby. Well, he did. He did start it. Well, that brings us to the end of this here podcast. When will this be out? Oh, mid-May. Do you have anything coming up, say, in June?

Yeah, this will be out on the 23rd of May. Oh, what do I have coming up in June? I mean, I'm sure I have something. If you just go to my, just follow me at Gregory Barron. That's the best way. And then my dates always go up there on my Facebook page. I put up my dates. Cool.

And you are, you're traveling around. You're doing shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm all over the place. I think I'm in Dallas. I'm in, yeah, I'm doing North Carolina. I'm going to go to the Bridgetown Festival. Cool.

I'm going to, yeah, those things are great. It's great at my age to go to a festival because either guys like me are in theaters or they're hanging themselves in Sheratons across the country. So I'm kind of in this weird middle zone of like putting them on a show. Yeah. Maybe something will happen. But don't put them in a Sheraton. Oh, yeah. Sheraton.

Don't put them in a Sheraton. Thank you so much for being our guest. Oh, dudes, I had such a good time. It was a real treat. I'm so flattered. This is a good show and I love all the stuff that Jesse's involved with as well. And I just, yeah, thank you so much for being our guest I had such a good time I'm so flattered This is a good show And I love all the stuff that Jesse's involved with as well Thank you so much

Thanks for coming by And if you out there like the show Head on over to MaximumFun.org Check out the blog recap Pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast A princess phone I'm sure will pick you up I hope so Oprah talking to the Ninja Turtles

Yeah One of the best clips ever yeah yeah yeah and uh just regis you know regis is good anyone know it's a great clip if you're a comedy fan watch um uh louis ck uh explain to jimmy fallon why he didn't get on the dana carby oh yeah it's one of the best show business like actually it's really you come out a bit pretty hopeful it's a really great it's really great and, you come out of it pretty hopeful. It's really great. And it's really real. And it's why things happen.

And if you don't know why your career is working out, there's a Louis C.K. in your way. He's just jealous. And yeah, if you like the show, please tell your friends. Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.