Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 430 - Jon Dore

Episode Date: June 13, 2016

Comedian Jon Dore returns to talk Unusually Thicke, Tom Petty, and a lack of adrenaline.

You know what? I'm going to start this episode. Oh, are you? Yeah. Okay. All right, boys. Hands in the air. I do like this guitar riff. What time is it? What episode is it?

That's right, boys. All right. Very smart. And what time is it? What episode is it? 430. That's right, boys. All right, all right. Very smart. It's not me. No. No. Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up.

And just say, oh, that, oh, that, oh, that. One more time. And what time is it? What episode is it? 430. 430. Oh, boy. And we've got three princes here to talk. And we've got Jimmy Olsen's blues, for some reason.

Pocket full of kryptonite. That's the stuff. Hey, everybody. Welcome to episode 4.30 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. I'm your host, Dave Shumka. I'm doing a weird host voice. Yep. And with me, as always, is Graham.

Hello. Oh, yeah. Sorry. We don't usually do a little thing. No, that's fine. With me, as always, is the man with a plan. Yeah. Stan from the Eminem song.

Yeah, that's me. I wrote a lot of letters. And our guest this week, comedian writer poet yes uh recently added to the list but yes alan thick co-star um do we ever get the updates on season two of that i will today's the day today's the day uh welcome john door thank you for having me. Wonderful to see you guys. It's great to see you too. By the way, one of my favorite reasons for coming to Vancouver is to see the two of you. I don't care about the shows, as the audience will find out.

And you don't care about the money. As the audience will soon learn. Money's worth it, and you get that from the audience, and then you sneak out the door. The audience gives you money? The audience gives the club money. The club then owes me money. Okay, but it's not like a pass the hat situation. It's not pass the hat anymore.

I would prefer it to be, but I just don't have a decent hat. I don't have a big enough hat. What would you wear, like a Rastafarian hat? What's a big enough hat? Sombrero. Oh, yeah, absolutely, that's a big enough hat? Sombrero. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. That's a big hat.

But right side up. So you just fill the outside with change. Oh, sure. Change and dollar bills. Now, would you say, would there be a lower limit? I would say anything. Go ahead. Would you say no quarters, loonies and up?

I would be fine with quarters but what i would say is those who are going to spend bills dollar uh those who are going to spend five dollars and up you put your money in first then we'll use the the weight of the loonies toonies and quarters to to keep the and let's be honest because it's a windy club yeah and let's be on it is a windy club have you been there lately? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have got to do something about the air conditioning or a closed. I think it's wind.

Or a closed. Oh, you think it's actual wind? Yeah. Actual wind. Oh, like that hole in the wall? Yeah, I think they have a hole on each side. Like one wall has a hole and then on the other side of the club. Yeah.

And there's a draft that goes right down Sombrero Lane. It used to be a club where ladies danced, and there was this hole. I don't want to be liable, but yes, the draft is terrible at Yuck Yucks. There's nothing liable about that. No. That's just a state that's reportage.

The wind that is coming through It's excessive But you're absolutely right So you know what That's why we went to The club will collect And then pay me afterwards And it's smarter that way It's much smarter that way

But what I was saying is This is one of my favorite parts About coming to Vancouver Is getting to chat With the two of you Because I feel like Doing this podcast Is the only way You get together With friends doing this podcast is the only way you get together

with friends to chat. That's the only way I do. Because I never hear from you, Graham. You're the one person I will, well, you're the one person that, and I was telling Dave this because I got through to David and this was months ago. I don't think I've ever gotten through to you by phone. I've spoken to you on the phone once because I remember we were gigging out in Sydney, wherever it is, Victoria once.

Yeah. And so we had to talk to negotiate. But I don't think I've ever called you and you have answered. Who's going to bring the big sombrero? Who gets the small one? Do we swim or do we take the ferry was the big question. We landed on ferry, but I preferred. It was a coin toss the day of.

Yes. We were there at the shore in our shorts. Yeah, Graham was prepared to swim and have a chain in his mouth and bite it and tug the ferry behind it. Yeah. Oh, yes. Well, that's where I was out. I'm like, we're not tugging the ferry because that's crazy. But I was like, we could make a little extra.

A little. A little money. And we got the coin for the flip from my sombrero and we flipped it. And luckily, we boarded the ferry and we drove on the ferry, I believe. Yeah. Which I loved. I've never driven onto a ferry before and it felt fun yeah never because wow because i'm never here so and

then we i'd rented a car and uh you didn't give me any money for it it's fine but i drove the car onto the ferry and yeah but i was gonna say um i don't think i've ever gotten through to you on the phone and then i remember speaking to david and david said yeah you don't think I've ever gotten through to you on the phone. And then I remember speaking to David and David said, yeah, you don't really get through to Graham. He's a texter. Yeah, I'm a texter. But I realized I've never called you and you've answered. I don't think anybody has. I think you'll respond by text.

Let's get to know us. Yeah. Get to know us. Do you, Graham. Yes. Take this man? John? Do you, if people leave you voicemails, do you even check those?

No. But you know who called you? Yeah, generally, I guess. What if it's the government calling to ask if you want to be the king? Well, you know what? Are we getting a king? Canada's getting a king. Yeah. Well, eventually. Martin Luther. to be the king. Well, you know what? Are we getting a king? Canada's getting a king. Well, eventually. Martin Luther.

I will be king. I think, I mean, I'll answer, I don't answer a lot of phone calls, but I will answer some phone calls. Like if I see the name come up, I'll grab that. But most phone calls I do let go to voicemail and I know they've called, so I'll just call them back at some point. So you talk on the phone? You're fine with talking on the phone?

Yes. What's your, do you have the etiquette? I've developed a real anxiety. Let's workshop one. Do you want to call me? Yeah. Oh, I've got to get this. Dave Schumke's calling.

Hello? Hi. David, are you all right? No, I fell. You fell? No, a bug flew in my mouth. Oh, no, you sound like that. Well, listen, I'll be right over.

Okay. And that's why I answer the phone, so yeah. Do me. Okay. Hugsable residents. Yeah, can I talk to Vanessa? Who are you? I'm just a guy who goes to her school.

All right, I guess. Vanessa speaking. Hey, Vanessa, I want to ram it in your giant. Okay, we're going to stop it here. I thought Dr. Huxtable answered it, and then I was going to be the... I thought you were going to take on the persona of no one talks to Vanessa. Who is this? But in improv, you can't...

Yeah, you're only responsible for your own mouth. You got to listen. Yeah. Yeah. Where... So, Graham. Mm-hmm. John, do you have a landline?

Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. Do not know the number of it, though. Okay. Well, I wasn't asking. No, I'm just saying I have a landline? Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. Do not know the number of it, though. Okay, well, I wasn't asking. No, I'm just saying I have a landline, but I could not. For outgoing calls only. Yeah, because I could not give that number out because I do not know it. Like, you've never known it?

Or they gave you a piece of paper with it on it? Well, you can figure it out by calling your other. I could call it from my cell phone and then, or call my cell phone from it and then go, oh, there it is. But the... No, it came bundled with my cable and the internet. Who's your provider? I'll tell you right now, Charter Communications. Oh, boy.

Never heard of them. And how are they... How's your bill like? They're terrible. That was me, by the way. Excuse me. I thought it was me. I'm going to tell you why they're terrible.

I'm going to get a little upset right now. And you can call me down if you want. Because I know everyone I know is so happy with their cable providers. Like, there's every other cable provider is great. I know. Here's the issue, though. Genuine problem with Charter Communications. They do not have NBA TV.

They're one of the only cable companies that does not provide NBA TV. That's N with an N? No, no. Masters of... Of business administration? Masters of the Basketball Association. No, you idiot. It's the National Basketball Association.

Oh, I love Masters of Basketball Association. And of course I have... Everyone's riding on a battle cat and stuff. I'm very confused. Well, I think it's a hybrid of He-Man and basketball. I'm very confused. Skeletors? It's a hybrid of He-Man and basketball. Well played. But anyway, so I love NBA basketball,

and there are times when I really want to watch the Warriors, and I have my online, I bought my online NBA TV, but certain games you cannot watch if they're on NBA TV. And so sometimes I'll try to watch and I can't. So I've called the cable company and I've said, why? And they tell me, well, because there's not enough people that want the service. And would you want to pay $700 to watch one basketball game? And I said to them, I'd like to have the choice.

Oh, yeah. That's my style. Now, could you call them a bunch of times, pretending to be a bunch of different people, and request the NBA, every time you see a payphone, call the company. It's Vanessa Huxtable here. I would love an

NBA. Yeah. This is ginger Jehoshaphat. Why is there not more NBA basketball? Yeah, I suppose they could, but I'm not willing to go through the trouble. So I suffer. I suffer like many. You're a lifelong Warriors fan.

Is that right? No, I would say I'm on the bandwagon for sure. Okay, cool. Have you been a long time? Are you a long time basketball fan? Would you say you love it long time? Well, I would not say that. Oh, why not?

Well, because you're missing a few words inside that sentence. Oh, okay. You said, would you say you love it long time? Yeah. Yeah, but can you find a better way of saying that? I can't. Try. Okay.

So you just said, would you say you love it long time? Yeah. Huxtable residence. I would say, would you say You've loved the basketball For a long time Okay I don't hear a difference But

It okay So anyway I have always been A basketball fan That's my sport Yeah Ever since I was a kid Grew up in the Jordan era

Played basketball Every day of my life Not a great When did you realize You weren't as good As everyone else As everyone else Cause I I played basketball every day.

Basketball and street hockey. David, I would destroy you in a game of one-on-one. But you just said, when did I find out everyone was better than me? Yeah. Everyone but me, apparently. David, I would love to have a one-on-one podcast. I would love to have a, we should have a one-on-one podcast. Like we'll get a live outdoor podcast where part of it is a game to 11.

We'll get the Pistol Shrimps crew down. The who? Oh, don't worry about it. I'm not. But, well, because I stopped playing basketball maybe around 12. Oh. Because that's when I realized everyone was better than me. Oh, I see.

That's what I was asking. Did you play in high school? No, no, no. I played on the city team. I played in high school. The Raptors? I played. No, I grew up in Ottawa. Oh, okay.

The city team was called the Ottawa Carlton Guardsmen. Okay. Ooh. Yeah. That's a real nice name. And we had the worst warm-up jerseys. We had these warm-up tops that were made for probably 10 cents each. And every other team had tearaway pants and tops.

We looked terrible. And we had the shortest shorts you can possibly imagine. And I have these white, almost transparent legs. Yeah. And I loved riding the bench on that team. Because the city team, everyone was so much better than I was. That's what I said. No, no, but this is the city team.

I'm not talking about. I played varsity basketball when I was a junior, et cetera. I'm not bragging. I'm trying to explain to you that I played basketball. You've got hops. Did not have hops, that's for sure. But I could quarterback the team. I was a point guard.

I could pass the ball. I could make smart decisions. And I could shoot from the team. I was a point guard. Oh, okay. And I could pass the ball. I could make smart decisions. And I could shoot from the elbow, you know? Okay, so for the listener who listens to all of John Doar's episodes, now is the time when he has put on his sunglasses. It happens every show. Because this is the part where we start dealing poker. No, I start getting mad halfway through.

And I want to hide myself from the two of you. But I do start getting mad because it's sometimes difficult to tell Dave's tone. And whether it's sarcastic or angry. Why don't we have a civilized conversation for once? I'm dying to. Well, then that's all I've tried to do today. Okay. I've tried to let bygones be bygones.

I've arrived here. I came bearing gifts, by the way. That's true. Let the listeners know. What did I bring you? Brought me a statuette that said- It was an Oscar award. It was an Oscar award statuette for world's greatest superstar.

Thank you. Thank you. You brought me something for my family. Yes. A dinner bell to be rung when soup's on that says, lights, camera, action, Hollywood, California. There you go. Very thoughtful gift. Very thoughtful.

Thank you both for a long time. Absolutely, John. I apologize. I'm in the wrong. And Graham had some lovely questions, and we had some great rapport. And David, your attitude stinks like rotten hockey equipment. Like someone who played hockey intensely for three years of their life, left the bag in the basement, opened it up ten years later.

That's what your attitude reeks of. I apologize. Thank you. By the way, thank you. Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to come off that way. Cheers. Let's start again, fresh.

Did you guys see that new show? Speaking of shows, I don't think it was the last time you were on. Maybe two times ago. We were talking about Unreasonably Thick. Yeah. Uncorrigibly Thick.

Unusually Thick. Yeah. Where you played, I mean, it was a reality show, so you played John Doerr. Yes. The guy who crashed a bachelorette party. Yes. From Alan Thicke's wife was in the bachelorette party, and she's some kind of, I don't know,

like equine enthusiast. Yes. That's right. Don't start. It's up to Graham to fall into this pit yeah i will not i will not and i will prance around it we're just we're just horsing around yeah so just go ahead horse play whatever um i believe i said she's a horse in a horse enthusiast or something and graham called her a horse lady yeah she's a horse a real or something And Graham called her a horse lady

Yeah, she's a horse A real horse lady Part horse, part lady Yeah, she's a Sagittarius Go on, but I think I know what you're going to ask I understand you came back for season two I did We haven't talked about this yet?

I don't think so Because it was on a different network And I never saw it Oh my god Because it turned into a home improvement show I don't even know really yeah oh did it really i didn't know that either the that switched networks from whatever to the guys garden no it was the strangest i don't even know how much i can talk you know what fuck it i'll just tell you everything i want to hear everything it was so bizarre so for whatever reason my friend luciano uh my good friend

he called me up one day he left the message and uh he said yeah i can't go but a luciano casmiri remember when he did a a duet with brian adams yeah i do remember that what was the song it was all for love from the the um it was the one that brian adams had done with sting right and uh rod stewart how did luciano pavarotti cross into popular culture that way like he was doing why did i think he was doing duets with many people but also like yeah he did like a like a frank sinatra he did like an album of he was the guy who could cross over. Why? He's no different than anyone else.

He's no different than... Show me that... He was greasier than most people. Yes. Are there any famous opera people now? Yeah. There's Julie Nisrala, Canadian. Yes.

Do you know her? Yeah. You do? Okay. Julie Nisrala, who I used to work with at a restaurant in ottawa ontario canada lovely lady yes um but do you want to hear about this alan thick story because this is madness because the reality show as you know is a scripted reality show so they create the they create these scenarios and then they have people come in and you kind of act it out. If they, and I don't care, I'm just going to say it. If they were to tell, if they were just to shoot their real lives, it would be so exciting. Like it'd be so, because why?

What happens in their real life? Off the wall insanity. Like, here we go. So one of, this makes no sense. I got called back. I thought we talked about this. So it's Alan Thicke. Yeah.

His wife, who I believe is in, she's a fan of an animal. Yeah. And his son. Yeah. And that, but not Robin Thicke. Not Robin Thicke. A younger son. Younger son.

And he's lovely. They're all lovely. Yeah. And very interesting. And Alan, I love, like, they're all very interesting people. But so anyway. Alan Thicke, for people who don't know, starved growing pains. Stop it.

So essentially, I get called back't know, Star of Growing Pains. Stop it. So essentially, I get called back to do an episode of season two because Luciano's on the show. And for some reason, he says, Alan said, we should get John Doerr back. Like, it made no sense. And I think my name in the first season was Steve. No, it was John. It was John. Okay.

So they called me back. But this time, it makes no sense. Does it make you feel good that Alan Thicke was like, we should get John Doerr back? No. That's going to make you feel a little bit good. It doesn't matter to me. But anyway, so I get called. I go to Santa Barbara to do the taping of this show, and I show up on day one. Beautiful country out there.

And here it is beautiful. And here is. Rolling Hills. You could just gallop and gallop. Graham? What? I'm listening. No, I just wanted you to chime in.

Oh, no, no. No, I don't have anything to say about that. Okay, fair enough. I don't have a horse in this race. Yeah. You'll have a lot to say soon. So, long story as short as I can, the premise for season two is Joan Dorr.

Okay. That's the whole season? The character. Oh, sorry, for this episode. Okay. I am working, I've rented a house in Santa Barbara. And then I run into Tanya, Tanya, uh, Alan Thicke's wife, uh,

accidentally, she's having a glass of wine somewhere. And I'm all of a sudden, I'm all of a sudden, I'm all of a sudden some sort of weirdo. So I say, Hey, and then she says,

Oh yeah, John, I remember you. It's like, why would you remember me? There's no reason. Anyway, she's,

I, I, she says, what are you doing in the area i set up the whole story oh i rented i know this real estate lady and they're like oh we're looking for a house that we can rent so that we can have uh our son's uh graduation party there i'm like oh you should talk to this person so anyway so you're playing the same character from the first season. Yeah. I guess. I guess-ish. I've gone from just drifter to, and get ready for it, porn director. There we go. Here it is. Because what happens, pardon me, what happens is they do end up renting the house next to

the house that I'm using, but then they find out I'm directing pornography. So Alan Thicke comes over and he has a conversation with him. He says, John, we just need you to keep it quiet because, you know, we've got some kids next door and it's not appropriate, you know. And we had actually gotten real porn stars to portray the porn stars because Yoshi, do you know Yoshi, the comedian? Hilarious dude. He's got connections to the industry.

So he got these two porn stars there. And I don't know if I should tell the story, but I will. There was one porn star who had a huge birthmark on her leg. And when we were not filming, Alan Thicke walked up behind her and pointed to the birthmark and said to Luciano, Hey, Looch, got a little Gorbachev going on over here. Like to tear down her wall. Yeah. Why isn't this in the show?

So anyway, but then I'm wondering what is going on? Like Tanya's not talking to Alan and it's like all strange. And they had a fight. Oh, the weekend before over Thanksgiving because it stemmed from an argument that Tanya had had with the son on set and they threw their mics off and said, that's it, we're not shooting today.

And I was told by Luciano that over Thanksgiving dinner, they got into it again where Tanya strangled the son-broker nail on his neck and then Alan said, that's it, you're out of here and sent her to a hotel. And then they couldn't shoot on set together, so they had to fake a lot of the rest of the season, but I think they've made up since.

But I'm like, that's the show. Yeah. Yeah. They're strangling your son. Instead of this, you know, John, shooting pornography next to, yeah. Wow. I don't know if I should have said any of that probably not the porn stars uh were they very regular like people when you go on like where like were they weirdos or were they just like they were the most normal people on the shoot i bet

and if anyone was and if anything they were the ones who felt weird. Yeah. Because they were naked and felt totally, totally normal. And everyone was rushing to put a robe around them. They're like, we're fine. Like they were the sweetest, most natural, nicest people there. Yeah. Because I met a guy in Edmonton who was a comedian.

Peter North. No. Is there another guy? Peter south yeah peter south is who i'm thinking yeah uh and he he that's how he that's his day job he does he does pornography yeah he does pornography well we did have one porn actor show up a male and he kind of went through the script which is kind of a breakdown. And he looked at it and he said, I'm not comfortable with this.

And it kind of makes fun of what I do. So he left. No. Good on him. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like,

uh, yeah, I don't, I had like, when this guy told me that he did porn for his day job, I was like, can I ask you some questions?

And then I think i asked him a million questions like i became instantly so obnoxious a million yeah what was give us a uh some of the tidbits well i because the one thing we're just a couple of guys hanging around talking about porno i uh i asked him how like is is it regular that people use something like viagra or whatever on yeah and he said uh they do especially if it's like gonna be a long day uh-huh uh then they will do that but otherwise they prefer not to have any drugs or anything on set because it's a liability or whatever when did that when is it a short day like what or how did he like what's a short day versus a long day on set like i think if they're shooting a whole scene right then that's a long day but he's only really i mean from the porn i've

watched go on i mean there's pretty much okay go at it get me to a certain place then let me go into some holes and then and then i'm gonna this thing's i'm gonna discharge yeah and then we'll call it a day there's there's no euphemism for anything here no i even find the word euphemism strong but i think uh i think uh yeah i it would, I don't know. I would have a million questions for these people because it's like, how do you make your money? And then when are you out of the business?

And then where, yeah. And then where do you go after the business? Or are you forever in the business? The thing is they've made like so many documentaries about these people and like the business. I see them on like netflix and or on like bravo yeah but i think it's gonna make you feel sad it's so sad yeah yeah that's uh but

this guy like talked about it in like the most clinical day job yes like i got paid this much for this type of scene this much for that type of scene that was very much like the gentleman on the alan thick shoot he was very much like he would answer your questions but very serious and very yeah and uh it was a bizarre day i remember because you know alan would when he finished shooting would sit in the guest house and watch tv but would never go and see tanya shoot her scene uh and i wasn't sure what was going on. I thought like, okay, well, maybe she's not feeling well. She's got the trots. And then, but I didn't know for sure. Graham comment?

No, no, I'm good. All right. I mean, it sounds like it's been a real day at the races. Yeah. It was quite a day at the races. Yes. Because if she had heard that there was porno going on at this graduation party, she would have been like, nay. Nay, nay, nay.

Indeed. Hey. That TV Alan Thicke was watching. Yeah. What were you going to say? That TV Alan Thicke was watching. Did it have NBA TV? Oh, it might have.

Probably. Probably. Yeah, no, he would in Santa Barbara. Absolutely. Yeah, I'm so would in Santa Barbara. Absolutely. Yeah, I'm so disappointed with that because I just go crazy. So then I just go online and I steal it from some sports site. It's all you can do. And I feel completely justified stealing it.

What do you watch, a Russian stream? Well, yeah, probably. It's some sort of Russian-Ukrainian stream, but it's on Sport Lemon. I go to sportlemon.org. Okay. And then list all the different games. And then I always pick a basketball game and beep, bop, boop. And you got to sit through a couple of dumb ads

and then you worry you got a virus, but then it always works out. Like life. Yeah, absolutely. I'm always worried I have a virus and then everything works out. And when life gives you sports lemon. You make sports lemonade. Yeah, absolutely. You make sports lemonades.

But when life gives you a virus, then you should really try and get that taken care of. I'm worried about, you told too many details. You may never work in that town again of Santa Barbara. I may not work in Santa Barbara again. I think Alan's doing a new show in Canada, possibly. I think they're taking advantage of

the Schitt's Creek and maybe bringing Alan Thicke up to do it. But I don't know if that's true. I don't know if that's entirely true. But yeah, I could be done with the Alan Thicke show. You could lead a horse to Schitt's Creek. But you can't make him drink from Schitt's Creek, can you? You could if you forge a gun to his head.

Horses understand threats like that. Whoa, whoa, whoa. All right, buddy. Okay. Okay, I'll drink. That's all. Yeah. You led me here.

I'll drink. Take it easy. I'm cool. Okay, because this is cocked and loaded. So just, you know, let's see a slurp. You also recently read online. Well, it's probably not true then. Oh, okay.

Go ahead. It was on TMZ, right? You played like you were a dramatic role in a movie that you played like somebody's boyfriend, maybe Sarah Chalk. No, no, no. Yeah. Just forget that. Just forget it?

Just forget it. You can't even get me talking about it out of respect for other people involved. Okay. I didn't. I wasn't looking for anything the pickle recipe which was a movie we made in detroit no that's been going to festivals okay no this is a thing called after reality yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i was i was barely in the thing but i was i was like yeah we shot it in northern minnesota to the point where like so

northern minnesota that every once in a while my cell phone would switch from AT&T to Rogers. Really? Yeah. And I'm like, this is not going to be good. This bill is going to be. Hi. Yeah. So, yeah, let's not even bother with that.

Well, before you got here, Graham was like, usually we just ask the guests what's going on. But John Doerr is so difficult. I did some research. Am I difficult? I did some research. So we have actual things to ask him about. John Doerr is so difficult. I did some research. Am I difficult? I did some research. I did some research. So we have actual things to ask him about. John Doerr timeout.

I get two. I know I get a full timeout and a 20. There's no way Graham said I was difficult. No, he didn't use those words. What did he say? I said last time you made fun of me for not doing research. I think I said, yeah, where are the questions? Yeah.

So this time i did research okay what's the pickle recipe it was a movie we made in detroit uh interesting movie low budget thanks yeah interesting uh movie ish uh but it's been going to festivals it's been going to festivals and seems to be doing well apparently with like uh women over 50 jewish so yeah for real yeah it was these guys that came up with this film this film idea and uh michael uh manisari who used to be one of the child actors well no he was a he was well you could he was a child actor and he was in the television series weird science and he was also in the movie License to Drive. He was kind of the friend of the two Corys.

And anyway, he kind of gave up acting and got into the directing thing. So I spoke to him on the phone and the script sounded fun and we did it. And things changed on the day and it ended up being more cutesy and the tone was a little off. But there are some nice moments to it. But why do women over 50 like it so much? I don't know. I mean, it has to do with, there's a pickle recipe. It's about a family tradition, but the pickles are a metaphor for, you know, not talking

and sharing. By not sharing the recipe, you're not communicating and sharing stories with the rest of the family. So if you would just share the pickle recipe, then it gets to live on forever. Like, like, uh, you and your stories, et cetera. And you are what?

Pickle maker? I play the lead guy who's in charge of going to steal the pickle recipe. It makes no sense. Pickles 11. I go to a guy, I go to a guy. Dicks 11. I go to a guy who,

uh, because the pickle recipe is, the pickles have, have dried up and they're so popular and everyone loves them. And that's how we're going to make money because I'm going to sell the recipe to my Uncle Morty who's shifty. And I need money to buy new DJ equipment because I play DJ. I'm a really cool guy. But anyway. Like turntables?

Yeah. I do bar mitzvahs, bat mitzvahs. I do parties. I do it all. Jimmy Miller. You should see the van. This is a good face. Yeah, it's a great fucking face.

Is this Jimmy Miller? Am I talking to Jimmy Miller? No, Jimmy Miller is much more cool. He's much more nervous. But anyway, so Jimmy Miller, the character. The pickle recipe, there's only one pickle left. So I got to take it to a guy who analyzes drugs. And he can analyze the content anyway it's like they're that's why there's nonsense in it but it's too heartfelt and real

at times so the tone is a little off but it was a fun fun movie to do but i'm done with independent movies because they're fucking they're impossible you know what i love about hollywood there's no money to do it right they have the dinner bell they go lights camera action dinner bell yes i do appreciate that and or just like a little bit of money these ones on a shoestring budget are impossible it's like one take we got to cut this scene and then none of it makes sense and yeah it's ridiculous so i'm done with that do you guys like pickles i do i love you like sweet or sour? I like both. But I... Or is there a third kind? Zangy? No, I don't know.

I just, I'm thinking about what are those tiny ones? Gherkins? Are they gherkins? Or cornichons? Cornichons. Cornichons, yeah. The cornichons, son and bone pickle, hein? Oui.

Oui. The cornichons. J'aime un cornichon avec un toothpick, puis c'est dans la bouche comme ça, puis moumoumoumou. Is there a French word for toothpick? Cordon. Cordon. Cordon, ou petite pièce de bois. De bois.

Une petite pièce de bois avec les points. Oui, c'est pointu. Ou il y a une Edberg-Mitch joke. Il y a des petites pièces de bois avec les frilis. Pour le sandwich de club.

Le sandwich de club. Peut-être on fait le reste de la show avec... En français? Comme ça. Il y a à peu près trois ou quatre semaines. Je devais parler à

quelqu'un au gouvernement. Oui? Quatre semaines? Il y avait des questions vis-à-vis de la taxation. Oui, oui. Et il voudrait Que tu parles français

il voudrait elle était francophone et elle voudrait que j'explique qu'est-ce que c'est un podcast en français oui en anglais mais elle était très

francophone elle était très française c'est impossible. J'aime le front de libération du Québec. Oui, on t'aime. Non, non, non, John. Je peux expliquer.

Parce que ça c'est un temps quand le terrorisme il y a une moralité de terreur. Il y a une négociation. Aujourd'hui,

il n'y a pas de négociation. C'est seulement la haine. Qu'est-ce que la personne veut? Et puis, le négociateur dit mort de And then the negotiator says, Death of the Western world. You can't negotiate with that.

Oh, yes. At least the Front de Libération de Québec, they say these are the demands. We give you him, you give us flight to Cuba and some cash that was the golden age of terrorists when they did negotiate now I'm mad

that's when terrorism was fun and you had a chance of seeing little Jimmy again not anymore no no no not anymore. Modern jihadist terrorism.

Oh mon dieu. Maintenant, il porte les lunettes. Les lunettes du soleil. Le soleil. La femme de Alan Pick. Elle est une personne de show.

Oh, God. Oh, guys. We got to settle down because, yeah, first of all, we got to get off that topic and move on to another. David, how are you? What's going on with you? We'll get to David, but what's going on? I mean, we'll get to Graham, but what's going on with you? You have a child that I'll get to David, but what's going on? I mean, we'll get to Graham, but what's going on with you? You have a child that I was not allowed to go near.

She's napping right now. You can see her when we're done. I don't know. I've seen a napping kid before. Oh, yeah, it broke his leg. She broke her leg. Is this an update? Have you talked about it on previous podcasts?

Yeah, we've talked about it. But by the time this is out, she'll hopefully be out. Is she just clumsy naturally, or is it like a accident? It was, she was on my lap going down a slide. So it was my fault. How did she break a leg then? Her leg just like got caught between. It got caught and twisted.

Yeah. And I was trying to be safe and it was, uh, it turns out I was less than safe. Um, and then, uh, what I wanted to talk about this week is a couple of days later, uh, I got, I just started feeling sick and like I did, I had a fever. Oh my God, I know what happened. Do you know? I know what happened. Her leg broke, fluid oozed out of her leg into your bloodstream. You have the Zika virus.

I do. Is it pronounced, is that right? Zika virus. Yeah, Zika. Yeah. yeah yeah um and you'll notice that dave's head is smaller than it was i know you have that's not fun yeah i don't know why well it looks a bit funny well it is your headphones kind of barely fit they slide down it's a bit humorous um and we watch a big body uh uh So I was sick when I felt so bad because like a baby in a cast is hard to deal with. It's tough.

And Abby had to deal with her. And I had a fever. And do you know what a fever is? Yeah, it's your body heating up to kill an infection. But like, do you know what when you have a fever? Like, what's the average? What's your temperature supposed to be? Yeah, you're supposed to be 98.6.

That's normal. So anything above. That's literally what I did. I was like, I'm not. I'm in a fever of 103. What you needed was more cowbell. Hey, let's close the show on that. We're done.

No, yeah. You're supposed to be 98.6. But what if you're in between? What do you mean in between? I was 101.5. Yeah, that's high.? What do you mean in between? I was 101 and a half. Yeah, that's high. That is high. That's high.

You have a fever. And I went to bed and I didn't feel good. I turned on Netflix and I was like, you know what? I'll just watch this four hour Tom Petty documentary. Four hours? Yeah, it is four hours. I didn't. I wasn't sick and I watched. Is it good? Yeah, it's good. Okay. Do you like Tom Petty? I do. Yeah, it is four hours. I didn't. I wasn't sick, and I watched.

Is it good? Yeah, it's good. Okay. Do you like Tom Petty? I do. Yeah, yeah. I didn't realize how much I liked Tom Petty. I don't love Tom Petty, I don't think, but I absolutely like Tom Petty.

And it was really, yeah, it followed his whole career and the Heartbreakers and Mud Crutch. And the one thing I noticed, like, he's a super cool guy. He calls money dough, which is very cool. Yeah. Yeah. I actually really liked that. And like everyone likes him and he's super likable. And the thing that cool people have is that they can wear anything and they still look cool.

Yeah. But not Tom Petty. Like you see him through the years and every like headband, it looks awful. Every pair of glasses is a joke. Right. Every like weird jacket he's wearing is like laughable. I couldn't wrap my mind around how he couldn't pull off anything. Right.

I couldn't. I was very surprised because there was an interview with Eddie Vedder in it who loves Tom Petty, grew up listening to him. And he said that when he was growing up, all the girls loved Tom Petty. And I never pictured Tom Petty as being the type of star that young girls would go for. Because he's kind of an odd looking guy. Yeah. But he's a rock star, which changes everything. Levels the playing field.

Completely. Rock star, popular. I think so anyway. Yeah. Rock star, which changes everything. Levels the playing field. Completely. Rock star, popular. I think so, anyway. Yeah. Rock star, super known. But you have a fever, and you're watching Tom Petty. Yeah. And is that the story?

I just wanted to talk about the Tom Petty movie. Oh, I see. Okay. I thought you were saying. Well, that's the only reason I would make time to watch a four-hour Tom Petty documentary. What do you mean? Put your kid in the cage and watch some tv graham how have you been man what's going on come on you read you watch the same documentary i did watch the same you're reading the phone you're reading the phone book you're watching

documentaries what else is going on what are you thinking about these days where are we in life i nearly got beaten up by a truck full of guys. I do not like to hear this. Yeah, let's talk about Tom Petty. I do not like to hear this. I find Vancouver to be one of the most wonderful cities, but I am often terrified when I'm here. Why? How come?

I don't know what it is. Well, once I was with you, Yeah. Oh, at the pizza place. I went into that pizza place, and I kind of thought maybe I should, not that there's much I could do, but I kind of felt like I should break up this argument because I could see it escalating. Yeah. And then that poor guy got sucker punched a thousand times. And just everyone out in the street seemed like aggressive.

Yeah. It might have been after hockey. Was that on Granville Street? No, it was just off Commercial Drive. Yeah, near Commercial. Oh, really? Yeah, it was in the after hockey. Was that on Granville Street? No, it was just off Commercial Drive. Yeah, near Commercial. Oh, really? Yeah, it was in the pizza place there on the corner. Because it was a girl.

There was a girl and a guy. It was a girl that was punching the guy in the face. No, but then the guy smashed his face into the window. That's right. He was punching his face so hard, his back of his head was hitting the glass. Or the wall. Yeah, that guy really didn't know anything about blocking. I was terrified. So you did, you helped, like, break it up, and then

we spilled out into the street. Wait a minute, aren't you John Doerr? Yeah, that would have been a weird thing if one of them had recognized you, but nobody did. And I said, my name does not matter here. I am a citizen of the earth protecting an innocent man. Now break it up and get out

of my face. And watch watch John Doe Television show Thursdays at 10 o'clock. But go ahead. The woman tried to run back in, I remember, and I caught her and she fucked up my arm. Yeah.

Because she was running full tilt boogie. Plus you were getting a tattoo at the time. Yeah, yeah. That came out all crooked. Yeah. Now it just says. Is that true? No, I wasn't getting a tattoo.

I thought you were getting a tattoo. Yeah, I was there with you. Well, no, no, but I thought you got one the day before or something. No, I don't have any. Okay. You have any tattoos? Good for you. Not getting into it.

Okay. We're talking about Graham. Graham did his research. Yeah. Graham, but you, now go ahead. People in a truck came out and tried to fight you. Yeah. I don't like this at all.

And what was Tom Petty wearing at the time? He was wearing, he was kind of wearing some drapey scarves. He had one good suit. A velvet suit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, if you're suit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, if you're going to go, yeah, if you're going to get a suit, you're going to go velvet. What happened?

I was walking. I was going to a host comedy show on a Friday night, walking up Burrard Street, and this car, well, no, truck. What show do you host on a Friday night? Oh, this was at the club? Oh, this was at the Comedy Mix. I was hosting for Ivan Decker was headlining that weekend. Lovely human, hilarious man.

Continue with the truck, please. So walking across the street, this truck did not. David's going to derail at any second, and I'm going to get really mad. I'm licking my lips. If you derail the truck story, I'm just leaving. And that's it. But I'm going to get really mad. I'm licking my lips, Anthony. If you derail the truck story, I'm just leaving. And that's it. Okay.

But I'm just, fair warning. What constitutes disrailing it? Anything that stops Graham from talking. Can I ask questions? No.

Let him tell the whole story. Graham, indicate to me when the story is over. Okay. Because I do not want John Thor to leave. Thank you. So, this truck

blows through a stop sign, and nearly hits me. I jump out of the way, and I look at the driver for just like a look of contrition. Like, oops, I nearly murdered you. And then he was laughing. So I gave him the finger. And I figured, that's a fair deal. You nearly murdered you and then he was laughing so i gave him the finger and i figured

that's a fair deal you nearly murdered me here is my finger in exchange we are through and then all of the doors on the truck opened and these guys all spilled out and they were giant bald man all five of them all started screaming at me and telling me that they were all going to kick my ass individually or as a gang. I don't know. And but I was Dave's doing great. It was 7 p.m. Don't wake him up. So there was the street was filled with witnesses.

So they were never going to do anything. Right. David, go ahead. Chime in. We know the story now. We know the story. So this is what happened. So, yeah.

Here's the weird thing. No adrenaline rush. I didn't get it. From you. Yeah, I didn't get anything. So am I dying? Story's finished. You may now chime in.

Do you, okay, do they have baseball bats? I would have. No. Did they have cricket paddles with a nail hammered through it? No, they just had their fists and their giant bald heads. Brass knuckles? Yeah, maybe brass knuckles. So here's the thing.

Pardon me, go ahead. Yeah, were they like, I don't know, do you think they had full moon fever? I mean, it was early in the night for full moon fever. Yeah. But, yeah. So, why didn't I get an adrenaline? Well, yeah. So, this fight or flee, you were just ambivalent either way.

Yeah. Well, now I have a question for you. Are you depressed? Yeah, maybe. Is that it? Are you a bit depressed? Is that something that... I don't, I couldn't say for sure, but I remember being in scenarios where I, and it wasn't like life or death, but I knew harm could come to me.

And I remember feeling, who cares? Like, so perhaps... Have you been depressed? Of course I've been depressed. Really? I don't know. Not everyone has. That'll be another episode. But yes, we can get into my...

I was very depressed in probably 18. Yeah. 17, 18 for sure. Had to switch schools. I just didn't enjoy my life. Low self-esteem. Just was sick and tired of... Confused mostly.

So I was depressed, yeah. Did you... But I got out of that funk and I'm back baby yeah look at you now yeah look at me now no i'd say my probably a seven out of ten on the happiness scale oh yeah if i genuinely had to rate it yeah what would you what are you i'd say probably yeah maybe eight eight nine yeah see that. You? And none of it's earned. What do you mean? No, I feel great about myself. I haven't done anything to deserve feeling great about myself. That's not true.

No, but you have done things. You've gone through life and you... Yeah, but like, I don't know. I'm pretty... Like there's people who have accomplishments and achievements and things who should feel great about themselves on paper. But that doesn't mean everything because you do have accomplishments and success is subjective. But I did a documentary or hosted a documentary once about positive

psychology where we talked to people across Canada and had them fill out these questionnaires and we tried to find out how they rated based on these certain categories. And if they scored high in all these categories, they were happy people. And so one of the questions though was religious. Now, I don't know, are you religious people or the spiritual or religious? Okay. That was one of the biggest contributing factors to one's happiness at least like an indicator of happiness yes if you scored high on like you if you had a personal faith or whatever yeah go ahead what would you say you are out of 10 oh i don't

know i don't uh you know i don't think it's a weird question yeah I don't think I'm as high as seven. I'd be like a five, maybe. Five? Yeah, I think most of the time it's not. Do you think maybe it's because we're so much better at French? Well, I mean, that's not. Tu penses que oui? Un petit peu, oui. Cinq.

Il y a un cinq sur dix. Un demi. Gramme. Yes.demis. Gram. Yes. Gram. Gram. You're more than a five, I would say. You think?

But then again, who am I to say? You don't know when you're not around. I was going to amend my statement. I was going to amend mine to about a 7.5, 7.75. I'm not willing to hit A. Because, I mean, there's too much suffering. There's too much sadness, too much confusion. There's too much the idea of death itself.

The idea of the inevitable, the fact that we're going to die. You've got to lose a point right there. Yeah, that brings most people down to a nine. The fact that life is fleeting must make you lose a little bit of happiness. Unless you can totally say to yourself, give it your all. Oh, yeah. Gord Downie, what about this maddening news? Yeah, that's a bummer.

This is insane. Yeah. But in a weird... People not from Canada, Gord Downie, the lead singer of the Tragically Hip, has been diagnosed with brain cancer. Interminable brain cancer. Yeah. And it is very moving, very emotional, because they're also going on tour. But that's like, it's almost like a movie,

where he's well enough, enough obviously to go on this final tour or is he they're attempting but yeah i mean it's that i've never heard of anything it's going to be so emotional i never buy it's where it's very interesting this will be well the the sure the last of uh spirit of the west yes uh. Is early onset Alzheimer's. And so they did a tour and he like had to have the lyrics written out, but he wanted to do one last tour before. I guess that's what happened with ACDC as well. Cause.

AC, Ace of Base. That's right. He wanted to. But the lead singer. Malcolm, you mean? Yeah. Malcolm. Oh, no.

Brian Johnson? The most recent guy. Oh, I thought they just canceled the tour. Oh, Brian Johnson? The most recent guy. Oh, I thought they just canceled the tour. Well, then he was playing up until he couldn't possibly play anymore. But he wasn't ill or sick, was he, Brian Johnson? No.

Malcolm Johnson. You're talking about Malcolm Johnson. Malcolm Young, pardon me. Malcolm Young was Angus Young's brother who had, yeah, early onset dementia. Like dementia. Yeah. So he played up until he could. Yeah, and then his son took over.

But the weirder story is Brian Johnson, who suddenly- Was he the original? He's the second lead singer. Second lead singer after Bon Scott since 1980 back in black. So he is now, I don't know what's going on. But this Gord Downie situation is so heartbreaking and so sad. Are you going to have you do have you tickets going sale june 3rd i'm yeah my plan you're a big fan you i am when you were a

teenager you wanted to be the next gourd downy if i were a meadow i that's right i imagined myself a lead singer at some point yes i love music and i love the tragically hip and i still do but every album still find something to love about everything and have enjoyed every evolution of the band and more importantly love gore downey i think all his lyrics and his thoughtfulness outside of his music itself is very interesting i remember i drove to erie, uh, well, Buffalo and, uh, saw Gord Downie speak about, you know, saving,

you know, or, or, or water and the importance of water. And he does it so poetically, the importance of keeping lakes, uh, um,

uh, a resource for everyone to use. He's very thoughtful, interesting, uh, introverted man. I got to meet him once too, which blew my fucking mind because he was so welcoming.

Did I ever tell you that story? He doesn't seem like he would be, he's not a typical front man in the ego department. Not at all. He seems very down to earth. Not at all. He's a very complicated, and this is based on one meeting with him for about two hours, though, backstage in Las Vegas. Well, I know their manager a little bit, not even well,

but I know their manager and he was so sweet and he knew I loved the hip so much. He brought me backstage and I told him I didn't want to meet Gordani because this is not my style either. I don't want to, I don't want to be here. Yeah, you don't want to ruin it.

That's why for a long time I was like, I don't want to meet John Doerr. Dave, you're such an angel. And I hope I've treated you with respect. There a long time, I was like, I don't want to meet John Doerr. Dave, you're such an angel. And I hope I've treated you with respect. There's no way. But I went, Dave, I love you. Graham, I love you.

I love you too, John. I went backstage because of him. I love you too, Graham. We love you too, Dave. I love you. I love you. I still love you guys. Okay.

So I told the manager, I i'm gonna go outside for a cigarette and then i'll come back in and say goodbye to you and he says well come have a cigarette back i'll take you out the back door and i said i don't want to go backstage or anything i'll just i'll have a cigarette out front i'll come in and say goodbye blah blah blah he says don't help i'll just take you out the back where the you know loading dock is don't worry about it he takes me through these hallways he opens a door because he knows full well and in that room was their bodyguard uh bobby baker and gore downey and i met gore downey the night before in los angeles but briefly briefly i mean for like

did he know who you were and he goes john how are you then how long ago was this this would have been it was there uh yeah it was 2012 i guess or 13 because it was their um now for plan a tour so anyway he says and then we talked for like an hour and a half and a joint got passed around and now i'm a complete mental case like i had to get out of there i spent the whole time just trying to get out. But anyway, very sweet, sensitive man and very knowledgeable, and he was just getting into Bill Hicks and wanted to, you know, know a little bit about comedy. So I sent some comedy CDs to his manager.

But anyway, lovely human being. And, yeah, I'm, like, completely devastated by this news. But who knows he's also still alive and the other interesting thing is he is such an intellectual it's got to be so interesting for someone like him to know if this is terminal to know how he's going to plan it out how he's going to think about it how he's going to approach it out, how he's going to think about it, how he's going to approach it. Like, it's very fascinating. It's like, you know,

Christopher Hitchens. Yeah, of course. He, when he was dying, he was, you know, all his faculties were there.

He was able to talk about it right up until the end. And he was very unemotional about it. Yeah. And it was the, it was, yeah, it's really heavy to see any interviews with him because he's like you know aside from i should have taken better care of myself yes

what can you do the difference is i don't think we'll hear anything from gordon other than this concert it will be time with family friends and and live the private life he wants he's never been a guy that's been outside of that no No, he's so hard to track down. And when he does interviews too, I'm like, please just explain the song. Please. Because I just want to know. What is Blow at High Doe? Yeah.

I do know what that is. What's that? That's the guitar noise from Blow at High Doe. I don't know if it is. I think so. I love the there was two albums back to back that i really loved by them uh but i think i was when i was a teenager uh trouble at the hen house and then phantom power phantom power was the next one those are the two huh yeah i mean i like i i like their music but those are the two that I always remember as being like.

Yeah. A lot of their music had to grow on me, but it always did. Like, I always had to, you know, it seemed like they were entering a new phase. And I thought, oh, I'm going to have to get to know. And I always grew to appreciate it and love it and would go to the concert. And, yeah. Do you guys want to move on to a little bit of business? Sure.

Let's do the business. Let's take care of biz. Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You got to do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You got to shine your shoes.

You got to sweep the floor. You got to clean your house. You got to do some more. Take care of business. This week, Stop Podcasting Yourself is supported by the Canadian Heritage Ministry.

Teaching us French and Canadian rock music since 1867. Merci beaucoup. Oh, oui. Stop Podcasting Yourself is also supported in part by Squarespace. Making your spaces square. If you have a passion that you obsess over, if it keeps you up at night, if you live for it, you should show it off. John, do you have a passion? I have several passions, and one of them is playing the guitar.

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I think I have. Because you're a woman. And you're a gay man. And we're both black. And now that we're here in the minority corner, what should we talk about? How about race, gender, and sexuality? Ooh, and we can gossip about celebrities, and I can quiz you on pop gender and sexuality oh and we can gossip about celebrities and i can quiz you on pop culture oh and we can have guests we're gonna learn laugh

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Listen to our show every other Monday on Maximum Fun. Yay. Yay. Overheard. Overheard. Segment in which we- And Graham, did you have any More thoughts on this Tom Petty documentary

Oh yeah I feel like we Watched it for four hours And talked about it For four seconds The one thing that was I thought was crazy And it was

How little time They spent on the The struggle of them Getting a record contract Although it didn't seem like There was any struggle at all Yeah Oh they were gonna go

Get a record contract And on the way They accidentally got Another record contract Yeah like They went to four offices One were going to go get a record contract and on the way they accidentally got another record contract. Yeah, like they went to four offices. One of them gave them a record contract. Did you ever watch the Eagles documentary?

I did. I saw it. Did you see it? I liked the first half. It was but did you think they were how did they come off? I felt like they were just like total dicks. They had this struggle. I felt like it was such a different time, like making music.

It was a nice look into making music in California in that time period, because it seemed like the songwriters would help each other out and they were kind of thrown together and things just kind of happened. It seemed easier in a way. Yeah, well, they took it easy.

Yeah, there you go. But the other one that's on Netflix right now is the Twisted Sister documentary. to happen it seemed easier in a way yeah well they took it easy yeah there you go but the the the other one that's on netflix right now is the twisted sister documentary it's the whole documentary leads up to them landing their record card i would love to see this and that's to me that's the when they're the hardscrabble band we'll talk about it next week are you gonna are you gonna watch it sure yeah why not i gotta I want to hear about. Are you going to watch it? Sure. Yeah, why not? I got to watch this Tom Petty now, though. Yeah. You got four hours?

I thought he had, like, because when you look back, he wrote that song then. It seems like he's been around forever. I didn't realize. Yeah, he was sort of like right in that pocket between Springsteen and Mellencamp. That pocket, that beautiful pocket. But it was in the... The Mellencamp. That pocket, that beautiful pocket. But it was in the... The Mellen pocket. In the Eagles documentary, it seems like they're like these super whiny guys who are like,

we just wanted to make music. And you're like, no one ever tried to stop you. It was never hard. And then Tom Petty, it's like this similar story, but he just... He really had to fight. No, no, he's just one more likable. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, yeah, the Eagles doc, like, I love the first half because it's a great footage, great window into LA at the time. And what's his face who helped them write their lyrics? Jackson Brown. Jackson Brown. And, you know, these collaborations. Tony Braxton. And, you know, opening or being the band for. Brandy and Monica.

Who are they the band for though? The house band linda ron said and then eventually going off on their own uh i loved all of that and they had footage of it which is always great but then when you get into the oh we had to fly everywhere and we had a bar on the on the plane it's like oh boohoo yeah yeah so you're drunk a lot now overheards graham glad we got we got to a little more grist yeah but also the thing about this tom petty okay is his fashions well no that he's he is a nice guy but on numerous occasions throughout the documentary were things where he just screwed somebody up yeah that's true and he and then he's like he got over it and there was maybe like like as they're driving out to get a

record deal he's like and the day before we left i got married you never hear about this woman before you hear like you hear about when he gets divorced three hours later right and also their house burned down somewhere in the middle yeah i have I have got to watch this thing. Yeah. The last hour is a little like, okay, we don't need to know about post. But what you're saying is there are good three hours? Yeah. That's pretty good. It's surprising. I'll take good three hours.

Yeah, yeah. I don't need to know about 21st century, Petty. But it's also interesting that I didn't know that for a big chunk of time they were Bob Dylan's backing band. Yeah. Right. I didn't know that either a big chunk of time they were Bob Dylan's backing band. Yeah. Right. I didn't know that either because I knew the band was. I didn't know that they were also.

And they were the first band to be his backup band since the band. Right. Yeah. Right. And Dave Grohl almost joined. Yeah. And it's just like. That's right.

When he left Nirvana and he played with them on Saturday Night Live. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But you didn't like the last hour. I just didn't know any of the music. You're being a little petty. Let's move on to overheards.

Now, overheards is a segment where we hear things, we report them back here on the podcast. Yeah. We always like to start with the guest. John, do you have one? I did have an overheard. And I'm glad I remembered this one, too. I finished a show. I was in Portland, and I went glad I remembered this one too I finished a show

I was in Portland and I went to the bar afterwards and as soon as I finished the show straight to the bar grabbed a drink and there was this couple sitting at the bar and I had headlined the show and I went and I sat

at the bar got a beer and the couple didn't see me but I heard them say i like the last guy best so that's my overheard so john never has an overheard what are you talking about i just gave you an overheard oh i'm sorry yeah well the last guy but so that they just went to a comedy club and they didn't know who you were but they liked you but not enough to learn your name yeah well they probably knew my name they just said to a comedy club and they didn't know who you were. But they liked you, but not enough to learn your name. Well, they probably knew my name. They just said, I like the last guy the best.

I hope to learn his name. I mean, if there was some way to learn his name. I told them, you know what, guys? I know you're talking about me, and don't bother learning my name. Just thanks for coming out and spending some money on comedy. Yeah. Do you say that at the end of your show? Thanks for supporting comedy.

Who knows what happens at the end of my shows these days. Once I farted into a microphone in Minneapolis. I remember you did it once in Vancouver as well. Did I? In the last studio. Oh, but in a podcast?

Yeah. No, I mean live on stage to close the show did i tell the story about how he closed the show in sydney no where this is that you guys swam oh so when i told the story about like i had a mentor and and it had a there was a music cue oh do you remember this that you told the sound person very specifically you're like no matter what happens keep playing the track right and it was brian adams heaven yes yes so then you did a thing where you're thinking you're i can't remember what the setup is but you sit on a stool and you're thinking, and then Brian Adams Heaven starts playing. Yeah.

And then you walk off stage and then you said to me, let's go. I don't remember that. I vaguely remember that. You said, let's go. And they played the whole track and the audience sat there thinking you were going to come back. Come back. Yes.

I remember not enjoying myself entirely that show. You killed it. I remember that. You killed it as well, but I remember at the end, you just have to explicitly say, no matter what happens, play this track to the end, and then you... I'm pathetic.

Just as soon as you walked off stage, let's get out of here. I have no business being on a stage anymore. No, that's not true. It's the best. But you know what you should be in? Big time movies. No, no more of this indie crap. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. You know what I'm talking about where the craft service is like meatloaf only. What was the craft service on Usually Thually Thick? The pickle recipe? I don't think there was one. I think it was a walkaway lunch. Oh, I would have thought like, you know, oats. I mean, sure.

Put your oat... Everyone grab your oat bag. Your names are on them. Yeah, here's a sugar cube and a carrot. Yeah. Good girl. Dave, do you have an overheard? I have an overseen, Greg. Cuban carrot. Yeah. Good girl. Yeah. Dave, do you have an overheard?

I have an overseen, Greg. Okay. Now, sometimes in this city, and I guess every city, there's Thai restaurants that sell Thai food that have like a pun name. Oh, yeah. And like there's Thai away home. Sure. Which is like, oh, like fly away home, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. That's a stretch. But yeah. And like there's tie away home. Sure. Which is like, oh, like fly away home, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a stretch, but yeah.

And there's one here that's like you and I tie. Yeah. And then there was one I couldn't figure out. I took a picture of it. And it's just called eat me tie. Yeah, I've seen that one too and made a note where I was like, what is it saying? Yeah. What is it saying?

Or is it just, is it not trying to have a fun? I think it's maybe not trying. But it doesn't mean, it just sounds rude. There's another one downtown called Thai Confusion. Is that maybe like fusion though? But it's not called Thai. It should be, well, yeah. What would it be then? Yeah. Yeah, maybe it's fusion, but it's not called it's it should be yeah well yeah what would it be then yeah yeah

maybe it's fusion but it's called thai confusion is it a um a play on the genesis song land of confusion yes that's what it is i've been to one called tied for first place so it's not the greatest thai place but they're right up there with another one it sounds like it's close to the greatest yeah yeah so i. So I'll go. Sure. There's also Vietnamese are getting into it too. Oh, which is pho,

but they're going pho. Well, that's how you're willing to go it. Yeah, I know. Why not pho? There's some pho out there. Of course you could.

And you could do tons of pho puns. Tons of pho. Especially if you're a French person talking about fire. Do it. Ben, yeah, I've been pho. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, You're a French person talking about fire. Do it. Ben, il y avait un feu. Ben, ma maison.

Tu peux manger l'alimentation. No, what's food? What's food again? Oh, I was just making a sentence. I know, but what's the... Nourriture. Nourriture. Il y a de bon nourriture. I can't do it.

Feu, something. Yeah, I don't even know any fire-related. You know what my favorite song by the cult is? What, Fire Woman? Le Femme de Feu. Femme de Feu. Femme de Feu. Fire, smoke, she is a rise.

Fire, smoke, snack, lightning, baby. What were they talking about? Do you want to meetan asbury and ask him what what does that mean what was ian talking about graham do you have an overheard i do uh i i uh regularly go to this uh love removal machine what is that that? Get it on. Soul shaker. Yeah. Ba na na na na na na na na na na na. Come on, little devil. Be my little angel. It's the cult.

I got some beauties. I don't know any of the cult. Oh, you do? You know She's So Sanctuary. Oh, yeah. Possibly open the Gates with their greatest song ever. Open the Gates? Yeah, I think

that's one of the earliest from the album Rain, is it? I'm not a big fan. Yeah, but it's early on one of their greatest songs ever, I think. Yeah. Sonic Temple, decent. Tried to make a good comeback there with Fire Woman. Are they still around She's

They're playing Yeah they are They're doing some festivals The Headstones And the Cult Were doing a show I think it might be this weekend The Headstones are still around

They got back together Yeah they put out An acoustic album Weird Of their songs Yeah it was weird And But yeah

I would never say that To the lead singer's face It scares me Hugh Dillon Yeah Yeah It's always scared me Ever since Hardcore Their logo I was like Scary man And, but yeah, they're. I would never say that to the lead singer's face. It scares me. Hugh Dillon? Yeah. Yeah. It's always scared me. Ever since Hardcore Logo, I was like, whew, scary man.

Yeah. I met a girl who thought that was real. Hardcore Logo? Hardcore Logo. I think she, she goes, when he blew his brains out, I was just so sad. I'm like, you know, that was, it was. A mockument. It was a mockument.

It was scripted. He didn't really kill himself. But like people, some people, I'd say 1% of people who saw Spinal Tap, maybe more thought it was about a real thing. I think it was much more. Spinal Tap? Because they weren't, none of those guys were well known. Yeah.

I am as God made me, sir. That hotel guy with the goggles on. Oh my God. He kills me every time. The funniest moment. Let's all. Let's just watch Spinal Tap. Let's leave now.

Yeah, exactly. Everyone put on Spinal Tap. We'll see if it syncs up to a few albums. Yeah. What's your overheard green? My overheards is I was at this coffee shop that often has a lot of uh mothers and kids uh and this one kid was having a fucking time screaming throwing shit around and just a tiny little kid but just having the worst day oh boy and she picked him up and she said i like the the way she said it And the way he responded

She said It's hard being a little man And the kid went Adorable You know what they would say in French Tu es un enfant terrible I would have said It's so tough to be a baby

I would have said If you don't shut up I'm gonna slit your throat In front of all your friends Yeah Right here Oh that would be so embarrassing In front of all your friends

Yeah Yeah And then they'll all slip on your blood When they try and exit As it pours from your neck You disgusting little piece of shit Hey do we have any fan Um

Overheard Yeah we do Oh Good lead in Thank you Um Very good lead in Yeah Uh um very good yeah uh if you want it was a little excessive i'll be honest i would never do that but go ahead uh if you want to send one into us you can send it into spy at maximum fun.org and this uh first one comes from oh brother oh brother where art thouoh. You can't find it.

Megan in Burnaby. Okay. Nice. Nice. Our family went to a large gathering at which we were playing a Wii tournament in the basement. Nintendo Wii? Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Not just a small tournament. Yeah. Not just seeing who can make the most fun noise. And I was sitting on the stairs. We were all going down slides. It was a Wii tournament. I think we've proven the point. Absolutely, yeah.

Go ahead with Megan, sorry. I was sitting on the stairs when Dale, I don't know who Dale is, comes down. Brother. He says, this reminds me of the most recent episode of that show. You know the one with Betty White. Lost in Cincinnati. Close enough. It's hot in Cleveland, guys.

Oh, hot in Cleveland. Lost in Cincinnati. Yeah. Corrupt in Akron. That's a beauty. That's a beauty. Megan's got, so far far Megan's in the lead. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, okay. In front of all of us? Our overheards as well? I think she beats us all. I saw Eat Me tie. You did. You did. I put you in second.

Thanks. Well, I was tied for first. Only because you don't have to climb to the top of the podium. It was a first place tie. You get to go to the second step. You don't have to go all the way up to the third next overheard yep uh this uh next one comes from i don't know because i cut off on the email but you know what the person out there listening will know it's theirs uh oh come on phone let's give him a name yeah what do you want to call him dale

joseph michael jordan not but not the michael jordan yeah michael jordan of the Yeah, what do you want to call him? Dale. Jehoshaphat. Michael Jordan. But not the Michael Jordan. Yeah, Michael Jeffrey Jordan. Michael B. Jordan. Of the Chicago Bulls. I was walking home last Sunday morning after buying some donuts. Sounds like Michael Jordan. Michael, really? There was a man walking up the hill towards me wearing high tops.

Michael Jordan. Wait, the man? Yeah, the man walking up the hill towards me was wearing high tops and Michael Jordan. Wait. The man. Yeah. The man walking up the hill to where he was wearing high tops and no pants. Oh. He gets in my path and in a raspy voice

says to me, you are Satan. You're a hussy and a bathroom witch. Then he stopped to think and said, what else? What else is going on?

He's on top of the podium right now. That beats the Wii tournament. Good call. Good email, Dale. I think that was probably a woman. Because I don't think a lot of men get called hussies. True.

I'm going to start it up, though. Okay. Hey, hussy. Sarah Jordan. Sarah Jordan. It might have been Cheryl Swoops. This last one, I was at a doctor's office the other day and overheard one receptionist while holding a scratch ticket tell another receptionist,

$1 for the chance to win $10,000? That's just a sound investment. Yep. You can't argue with that. That's like Jim Cramer talk. It's like gambling. They haven't figured it out yet, man. They're idiots.

Do you gamble? I do. I do every now and then. What do you like, the ponies? No, I've never. But I'd love to bet on the ponies. The racists? I bet.

I play poker. I go to a poker room and i will clean up and then i go back the next day thinking i got this figured out and i am completely destroyed three nights i'll go i'll go three days in a row and get completely cleaned out is this like one of these back like back rooms or no i'll go to the san manuel casino in uh in uh near san bernardino it's right down the the Casino, San Manuel Casino near San Bernardino. It's right down the mountain from where I live. And then you bet some days

you've got it all figured out? Well, some days I'm too loose. I play loose with my money. You wear the sunglasses? No, I'm like 5'6 suited. Someone raises, I'm in the blind. You know what? I'm going to protect my blind

by betting $35. It's pointless. I should fold hands and i play them because i always think it's gonna hit either flush or straight or or whatever for us but no so i'm too loose with my money did you get a word of that uh i used to gamble at the uh used to gamble at the horse track oh yeah yeah so you would uh how do you how the hell would you know what horse is going to? You don't really. That's got to be the hardest one.

You kind of put. It'd be fun. You put money on a long shot always. And then you put maybe a little on the favorites to cover yourself. Sports gambling? I gamble on. No, I don't know enough about sports.

I go to the dog track. Do you? Yeah. We're down in Miami? No, no. It was a local dog track sports. I go to the dog track. Do you? Yeah. We're down in Miami? No, no. It was a local dog track. They do not have a dog track. I always pick the greyhound.

They'll put a greyhound against like a little terrier, wiener dog. Or a bulldog. You got to go greyhound. I used to bet on high lie. I'd go down to Miami and bet on high lie. Dangerous game. Well, there was a scandal and I hightailed it back to Canada before things got crazy. But yeah, I used to bet on Highline.

Guys, in addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is a new phone number. 1-844-SPY-POD1. That is 1-UGH-SP-P-O-D 1. That is 1. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Here are your phone calls. Hi, David Graham, a wonderful guest. This is Joe from Madison. I have a

overheard for you. There's a guy in my office. It's like an open office. There's not really cubicles. He thinks it's a good idea to text speech to text all the time. He's often saying stuff into his phone as a text message. I overheard him the other day say, did you sell those socks yet?

Question mark. It's a beauty. Yeah, you gotta like, oh, I hate it when I receive a text that doesn't have the question mark at the end. Yeah, I have never done that before. But that's a great one because, yeah, so we overheard him say, did you sell those socks yet? Yeah. Question mark.

Did you sell those socks yet? Because is he curious? Is it like, because I may want to buy those socks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, like he's, he's answering the craigslist. Yeah, give me another, give me another offer. If you haven't sold, can you give me a day? I think I can get some money together to buy these socks.

Are you willing to do 45 cents? Yeah. When I do speech to text, I always do a question mark. I'm like, what time is it? Question mark. 430. Exclamation point. It's not late.

Exclamation point. Nah. Comma. Nah. Yeah. Period. It's just early. Here's your next phone call. Hi, Barbara. Hi, comma, nah. Yeah. Period. This is our early. Here's your next phone call.

Hi, Barbara. Hi, Dave and Graham, and probably a guest most distinguished. My name is Ben, and I live south of the border in Minnesota. And I was eating some Chipotle with my mom yesterday. And two college girls next to us were heatedly discussing a friend of theirs or an enemy. And I did not pick up much of the conversation, but I did hear a gem, which was, well, she did call me in the middle of the night crying when she found out about Danny DeVito. So I don't know what that was in reference to.

John has picked up a guitar. That was you, Dave. Don't lie. You did that. What would you have found out about Danny DeVito that would make her cry? That he's not... That he's taken by that woman in the Nespresso commercial? Yeah, because they split up for a while, and then they got back together.

Did he pull out of Twins 2? I thought you were going to just say, did he pull out? I would never say something that disgusting. Did he pull out of Twins 2? No. Is it now just Eddie Murphy and Arnold Schwarzenegger? Is Eddie Murphy in Twins 2? Well, I don't know if it's gone forward,

but when Schwarzenegger was on Stern talking about Twins 2, it was supposed to be there's a third brother, and they find out in order to split the well, it's Eddie Murphy who's the third brother. That does sound good. No, it would be amazing. Yeah.

It's a weird golden era for sequels that nobody wants yeah the movies that were made 20 25 years i i disagree you don't think this is the golden age they're all coming back it is the golden age yeah completely anyway i'm waiting for the third dumb and dumber i guess fourth and dumber now oh yeah what would you title dumb and the third dumb and dumber because there was well there was the prequel that they did but i yeah i don't know i don't count that one yeah so for it was dumb and dumber then dumb and dumberer why not dumber and dumberer yeah was it dumb and dumber no wasn't it dumb and dumber it wasn't dumb and dumber two it was dumb and dumber? No, wasn't it Dumb and Dumber? It wasn't Dumb and Dumber 2. It was Dumb and Dumberer, right?

Oh, now I don't know. It was Dumb and Dumber Dead and Loving It. Here's your final overheard of 2016. Electric. Hey, Dave Graham and Schrodinger's guest. I was just coming back from class on the bus, sitting in the back, and there was this kind of dorky lanky looking guy having an overly loud conversation on the phone uh he may not have realized how loud it was because

he had his headphones in and i was actively trying not to listen to it drowning it out with the podcast uh so after it goes on for about five minutes, he hangs up and turns to a girl who he apparently knows and looks at her and he's like, hey, that phone call ended on 420. And she kind of politely laughed.

It was 416. Aww. Well, you know, he tried. Yeah, sometimes your phone's wrong. Unless the phone call was 4 minutes and 20 seconds. That's what know, he tried. Yeah, sometimes your phone's wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless the phone call was four minutes and 20 seconds. That's what I thought he meant. Yeah.

Yeah. It must be what he meant. Yeah. Yeah. Like that call was exactly four minutes. But how interesting to be having a four minute and 20 second call so close to 420. Four minutes before 420. Oh my God.

Now this is tough. How do we pick a winner this week? I think we gotta go with what was the early winner? The one without a name? Yeah. What else? You're a witch and a hussy.

Yeah. I think that's the winner. You'll get a John Doerr prize pack. Email John Doerr with your information. If you give up my email address, I'll smash the guitar across your face. He is holding the guitar. I don't know if I have your email address.

So his phone number is... Let's keep it that way. What's your landline? Oh, God. Here we go. Let's wrap up the show before we get too deep into the hip. Oh, God. Here we go. Let's wrap up the show before we get too deep into the hip. Oh, yeah. He's going to...

A sundown in the Paris of the prairies. Have you ever been to the Paris of the prairies? Regina? Regina, isn't it? Gorgeous. Yeah. Gorgeous. It really is similar to Paris, if you've ever been.

Romantic. Yeah. And both have a... Bustling cheese Industry And Lasertag Downtown

Oh yeah I If you like The Podcast Podcast Yeah You can head over to

Maximumfun.org Check out the blog recap Pictures and videos Relating to the content Of this podcast Yep Tragically hip For sure

Tom Petty documentary. Sure. All four hours on YouTube. And, John, thank you for being our guest. Well, Tom Thompson came paddling past. I'm pretty sure it was him. You either know or you don't. If Tom Thompson paddles past, man, you know.

He's one of the group of seven. You know what's going on. Thank you for being our guest, John. Thanks for having me. Guys, you know like he's one of the group of seven like you know um thank you for being our guest john uh thanks for having me guys you know i love you um will you play us out with a tragically hip song will you sing along i don't i don't know a lot of words to a lot of their songs well then it's gonna be hard to play us out isn't it well no yeah you can you've got a great voice yeah um uh why don't you just talk your way out and all and and and we'll uh and then but then ramp it up at the end with uh yeah you talk you talk baby you're all that i need when i'm lying here in your arms um so uh yeah anyways uh thanks for listening and uh well you know I hope everything

gets better for you and the listener yeah yeah yeah I promise we'll try to do better next week yeah yeah if you like the show tell your friends

and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.