Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 437 - Sean Proudlove

Episode Date: August 1, 2016

Comedian and cab driver Sean Proudlove returns to talk taxi sex, minor league baseball, and evictions.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 437 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's not that into jam, Mr. Dave Shumka. I mean... How do you feel about jellies?

I couldn't even tell you. Yeah, me neither. Is that like mint jelly or whatever? Yeah. Stuff that doesn't even... It's kind of like jello but more solid-y. It's in the British department of the grocery store. What's marmalade, then?

Marmalade's a jam. I think it's a jam. Or it's a name of a cat. Or dog. Marmaduke is a dog. And that voice you hear is a return guest, a request, often requested guest. By me.

He has a show that he's doing in the Edmonton Fringe called The Taxi Driver's Always Listening. Mr. Sean Proudlove is our guest. Hello, everyone. Hello. Hey. Thanks for joining us again. It's all right. Should we get to know us?

Yeah. Get to know us yeah so we were talking just before the the show started your but this this show that you're doing in the fringe is like the most ambitious thing i've ever heard of i've never worked hard at anything in my life not even close not my comedy now nothing never nothing i've never do you wish you had worked harder at your comedy now uh oh god yeah. I've never taken on that. Do you wish you had worked harder at your comedy now? Oh, God, yes. For anyone not from Canada, it's the only special you can do in Canada as a stand-up. And it's you in front of a peach-colored background.

Yeah. Futuristic peach. Yeah, it looked like a kind of futuristic as interpreted by somebody from 1992. Yeah. And they will replay it every day for the rest of it. And you'll get $3,000. There should be a show where we get to go redo it. Yeah.

Or at least edit it. Comedy now. Now. Yeah, that, boy oh boy, they still will show the ones that they shot in like the late nineties, early two thousands. And the music is, uh, like scratching DJ while a guy's spray painting comedy now on a fake brick. But they, when they started, uh, you, it used to be whoever was the comic and then they

got to name their special. Oh, it used to be like, you know, Sean Proudlove in Silly Putty. I suggested that, and they're like, forget it. Why did we lose that? How do you lose that?

We're taking something away from them. Don't give them their own thing. Yeah, they're not allowed to name their own special. But at least they didn't offer a different name. Like, we get to name your special. Graham Clark, the king of the sillies. That's a great name for a

special. King of the sillies. It's Laugh-Trap. I can't even say it. Laugh-Trap. I can't do it. So you're doing a whole show that's based on your adventures as a cab driver. Yeah, for sure. It, uh, and weird things that go on and like that.

And just, uh, some of the people and, and it's more from my perspective, as I say, I'm trying to take the audience to say, you know what? You're not going to be the passengers. You're going to be, uh, you'll be my sunglasses. Yeah. You're going to see things through my vantage point and through my eyes.

Because the thing is, it's one of those jobs that I just have to kind of show you how bad it is. It's interesting and bad at the same time. And that's what makes it interesting with the characters that you get and all the variety of situations. Like, do you think that people are better behaved in Ubers because there's this rating system? Yep.

No, I don't think so because I think the people that the drivers have to be because they're rated because they can get fired immediately. But Uber's not going to throw away their customers. Although, I've heard of like drivers, you know, or people, because you don't get to find out your own rating. Like drivers say they'll pick them up and then, oh, wait, I had to cancel. And that happening in a string like, oh, because you're a two-star passenger. Yeah, two-star passenger.

Yeah, for sure. And I read somewhere that a lot of them won't look because they just don't have a lot of time. They'll just take whatever like that. But the problem is anytime you're rating somebody as a human being, I'm not for that. I mean, that just seems like a slippery slope. A business, sure, but not individuals.

That's ridiculous. Yeah, it's kind of weird. It's the first business where the business gets to rate you as a customer. Yeah, yeah. Is there any other business where the business is like, you weren't very good at being a customer? Even if they are good, they just get rid of you. I've heard they just randomly get rid of people for no reason. Is that right?

Yeah. It's just one of those things. And I hear a lot of bootlicking where like, who would you like some water and candy? Now I've got to bribe you guys. Oh, yeah. Come on. Come on. That's ridiculous.

Yeah. They don't have it in Victoria where you live, do they? No, they eventually will. I mean, Uber is just, it's a $50 billion. Yeah. They don't have it here either, but it's like every few months. It's coming. It's inevitable.

It's just one of those things. It's not even Uber versus taxi. It's really billionaires versus millionaires. That's all that it is right now. Uber is a multi-billionaire company. I want to be on Team Billionaire. Yeah, Team Billionaire is going to vacuum up all the millionaires everywhere and then have their global monopoly with their surge rate. Yeah, well, like...

I forgot what I was going to say. Cars. Oh, yeah, cars. Great movie. Yeah, Lightning McQueen and Mater. Like, in the Uber thing, to me it seems like you have to make conversation with the Uber person if you... If you're being raided? Yeah, like you've got to go in and you have to make conversation with the Uber person if you

if you're being raided yeah like you gotta go and you have to chat a lot but in a cab if you just don't feel like chatting

I think like are you fine with that if people get in and they're like just take me to the place and then they just live on their phone I don't want creepy

silent guy oh no who wants creepy silent guy in anything I don't know I feel like I am creepy silent guy I ask initial questions

to see if you're a murderer and then I'll let you go. What questions? Yeah. Just how's it going and stuff like that. I want to get some words going. You be you

and I'll be a passenger. Yeah, I'll be like, how's your day been? Oh, it's... The incessant urge. Sorry, my car just broke down. You're going to have to walk.

Ooh, blast. Could I play opera in here? Classic. So you're like a Jack the Ripper kind of guy. Ooh. I'm like an uptight skin flaying guy.

You know what? It depends. I'll roll with it. Like at first, I'll be like, let's see where this goes. Okay, start again. But you have to. You just, you got it. I mean, I've had a guy get in at three in the morning with a shovel.

What are you, where are you going? Where did you want to go? I didn't ask him a lot of questions. No, I didn't ask him anything. Take me to the digging place? No, that's exactly it. Is it new fitness craze you're doing here? I was looking for a bow.

The grave digger. Yeah, the grave digger. It's good on the back. I literally look for a bow. Like maybe it's a really bad birthday gift he got there. It's a gardener. But I mean, I didn't ask him anything. I drove him efficiently to where he was going.

If I was going to say anything to him, it would have been, I am terrible at describing people's faces. Terrible. I have no ability to describe things. I don't know. I can't tell race, hair color, anything. That's exactly it. I'm blind.

I have Brad Pitt disease. You pick your battles. That's Brad Pitt disease. He's your battles. That's Brad Pitt disease. He's got face blindness. Isn't there a name for it? Like dysplasia or something like that? Like face dysplasia? Hip dysplasia.

Oh, yeah. What is that? It's something like a French bulldog gets. That is what I was thinking. No, he has got like everyone looks the same to him. Is that it? Yeah, ugly. I got one good looking mirror at my house.

Yeah, like, what, is there any stuff that you, like, experiences that you're like, I can't include them in the show? It's too dark. You know what? Too weird. I didn't really put any sex stuff in there. I try to keep it, you know, relatively clean. Is there sex stuff that goes on? Oh, God.

Oh, God, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. More people hook up in a taxi than any other form of transportation after a first date. I mean, I guess compared to the bus or something where I have to drive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

I have, why don't you get in the little kid trailer on my bicycle? Oh, yeah, get in the sidecar on my motorcycle. Let's do it in the sidecar. Recently, what's been, I didn't notice it now, I can't not notice it creeps me out, is when people do it in the sidecar. Recently what's been I didn't notice it now I can't not notice it creeps me out is when people make out in the

back. Yeah. I mean I know I've got a romantic cat. More than some. It's like top five in the fleet. And you play a lot

of like hits of the Barry Wyatt. Yeah. I sing a lot. But when people make out in the back it sounds like two things. It sounds like a faucet dripping.

And also, it's just this noise. It makes this. That's all I hear. And it drives me nuts. Because if I was in a sci-fi film and I went and investigated that noise, I would die. That's true. That would be the last thing you would hear. Hey, Ensign, go over there and check out that noise. Yeah, exactly. And that's all star track hey hey ensign go over there and check

out that noise yeah exactly and that's all i hear now and then and then they're not even there sometimes and i still hear it i'm like oh god if you're ever making out try to

imagine what it would look like if the other person just dissolved right now and you had like your like mouth open and it's weird that the making out too because if if i if they're making out too.

Because if you were making out on a bench and I came up and sat that close to you, you would freak out. If I just stood that close to you while you made out, they'd be like, bugger off, get out of here. The weird thing about making out is that you really, like what you were saying, the less you think about it, the better it is.

If you start thinking about the other person, like, I just watched them eat something with the same apparatus that I am now, putting my mouth on and there's jaw muscles involved. Do they ever go all the way in the cab? I hear zippers all the time, right? Like, that's just like... But they never, like, I'm assuming they don't finish the act and then they're like, actually take me to a different place. I've had some. We're going to go to two different stops now.

Exactly. Well, I did have one fair and I remember it vividly because we were driving this couple out to Sydney. It was a good fair and we were going down the highway. And whenever somebody yells or doesn't yell, just says pull over, it's usually bad news, right? And I was driving. I'm like, oh no, where to pull over? I pulled over and the girl gets out the dude. And cause he hadn't said anything and they were

making out. I thought, oh, he's going to be sick. Did he get sick in the back seat? I'm looking. And then I look in the, in the, the kind of grass and I couldn't see them. Like, did they just take off? They didn't take off on me.

And then I look closely and they're literally having sex 12 feet from the cab. Right. Cause I'm like, it was silhouette. I'm closely, and they're literally having sex 12 feet from the cab. Right? Because I'm like, it was silhouette. I'm like, are they? I mean, if they looked over at me, I would have looked like some type of gopher looking like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the door was open.

I'm like, what am I supposed to? Am I supposed to watch? You know? The meter's running, though. So hurry up and buy it. Yeah, the meter's running. And then, you know, should I put music on? Did you say anything?

I did. I just sat there. I'm like, you know, should I put music on? Did you say anything? I did. I just sat there. I'm like, what's that? I couldn't believe what was going on. And then they came back over. And the girl said, she goes, oh, sometimes you just got to get some fresh air. I'm like, yeah, fresh air. It's good stuff there.

But as it turns out. So then their gambit was, we're going to pretend that he didn't notice us having sex. Yeah, well, that's the thing. I think she initiated it. That was the weird part, right? But when it got to where they were going. So it was just in some grass? Yeah, off the highway.

Yeah, just off the highway. And it was lucky because, believe me, if I drove another half mile, it would have been a little rocky where they were going. It was a good spot. But they got to where they were going, and the dude got out. Well, he got to where he was going.

He got to where he was going. Or she did. I don't know. Yeah, exactly. Let's go fucking a ditch. Exactly. It's one of those bad porns. Ditch porn.

But when they got to where they're going, the guy got the crap and got violently ill. So it was almost like she knew. It'd be like, yeah, he's got about five minutes left. Oh, yeah. Let's get him out of the gettings. Wow. When stuff like that happens, I can't believe it. I'm like, what? Because you just feel like, what's get into getting through. Wow. When stuff like that happens, I can't believe it.

I'm like, what? Because you just feel like, what am I supposed to do? Yeah. It's,

yeah, I mean, it's hilarious. It is hilarious. Seeing people that are too uncoordinated to like,

and you can see that they're going to go have sex if they make it before one of them throws up. I was watching

that, my big fat gypsy wedding. Oh yeah. And it was a lot of like. Is that the one where they go and get the crazy dresses? Yeah. Yeah, okay.

But this was sort of just part of the community. It was the American version. Right. And I don't know if this couple was married or. Anyway, they were a young young couple fall down drunk uh the guy was at once like i'm gonna go put a baby in you and also that guy's lucky i didn't kick and then they crawl into the cab that's that's how they conceive in their culture has to be angry and public um yeah i i definitely like on Granville Street, like when the bars are getting out, you see a lot of people who are like, boy, oh, boy, they're going to try and go for it.

Right here, there's hands going up shirts. For sure. Well, I take a lot of booty calls. I had a grandma booty call. What? Yeah. I didn't even know it was a thing. Yeah, they don't call it a booty call.

It's a sandal shag. That's out of the act. Old-fashioned. But she kind of told me the story as we were going, and she's like, yeah, my grandmother. And she goes, I don't normally do this, but I'm going, this guy talked me into it. And she goes, I don't normally stay up this late. And I look, it's quarter to 10. I'm like, quarter to 10?

It's just very late for grandma. And then she goes, do I smell all right? I just had a bath. I'm like, what, a bath I'm like what a bath oh my god but the dude paid when we got there and he was like

he looked like Abe Bogota right yeah but he had he had a skip in his step believe me yeah yeah keep the change

he rolled me a 20 I'm like alright I like the grandma booty call the boogie woogie booty call oh yes but they don't have tinder like the no it must have just been like i looked you up in my rolodex

yeah is your husband dead yet yes we met until you update it we met at a funeral remember that but uh that apparently uh was kind of like epidemic in the last couple of years that the highest rate of STIs were amongst senior citizens. Yeah. Because they're just going, they're going for it. Yeah. You mean the Subaru WRX STI? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a reliable vehicle. Oh no, it cooks. Yeah. I picked up a lady that worked at an old age home And she told me horror stories of stuff like that That would happen And she was like confessing in the back Of all these things she's seen Because she didn't knock on the door at the right time

Oh yeah Yeah And when she walked in She thought the guy had had a heart attack Because he just saw his legs Because he was normally in a wheelchair But then a lady was straddling him She's like I can never forget this

I'm like alright Your day is worse than mine all right oh wow yeah i mean that's exactly what i picture a senior citizen booty call being like oh yeah maybe then maybe then they well no 10 p.m is too late for the blue plate. Oh, sure, yeah. What can you get? Yeah, like... I picture that they have sex, and then they both unwrap a Werther's Original after. And pass around oxygen? Yeah, instead of a cigarette.

Oh, man. I love it. So, like, do you tell a lot of these stories in the show? No, you know, I try to stay away from it. I just, I didn't know what kind of people come to the show. So I just try to stick to things like that. People were like, I was in your cab, man. Well, that's exactly it.

And then I'm like, that was me. But you do get a lot of stuff like that. I mean, you get every, every situation you can imagine you're going to get in, uh, uh, from sex to fights. I mean, I had a couple literally break up in my cab. It was a four minute, four minute play a couple, a couple of days ago.

Wow. Like they got in and I could sense tension, uh, cause I was just trying to quickly read my map and figure out where we were going cause I had no idea. And then they started, uh, she started laying into him and be like, yeah, so you screwed that girl, did you? Oh, no. And he's like, no, no.

And he said, no, she saw him talk to another bouncer, overheard him. He says, is that the girl that you, so she heard that. That you had sex with in the ditch. And then he was denying it and this and that. And as we went along and then he got defensive. He goes, well, at least I didn't, I didn't sex somebody and send them pictures. And I'm like, but then she went, but I didn't fuck anyone.

And I'm like, ooh. And I hadn't said anything. I'm just driving and listening like this as they air their dirty laundry. Then the dude said, he apologizes. He goes, sorry about this. And I said, oh, don't worry. Diamond does. And this happens all the time. But then they both started to retell their stories to me like i was

the judge and i'm like yes sexting sex yes fine line it is tough to see then he told me to take a left and it was the wrong one and he goes Sorry That was my fault And she said Your fault Like you fucked that girl And I went Good one That was a good one He said

You mind your own business I'm like Well it was a good one You guys both You wanted me involved You can't Cherry pick So when we got there

I literally I turned to him I'm like Cause she'd already got out And I said You did it right He did it I was guilty.

Of course. So it was one of those things. But he got out with her? Yeah, because they lived in the same place. Yeah, they probably got a mortgage

to work on. It was a tiny little four minute play. It ended, it was just weird because I'm like, you know, I don't know who I'm going to get

and that thing plays out. But they're both good looking so they'll survive. Oh, okay. Yeah, you didn't tell us I'm going to get. That thing plays out. But they're both good looking, so they'll survive. Oh, okay. You didn't tell us that part. No, that's exactly it. I was assuming the worst of every single person you've ever mentioned. I should get cards that say, I can help you. And just be like, I can help you.

Have you ever had to take people to the hospital? Yeah Because that's always in movies, right? The pregnant lady Yeah We gotta go I've never delivered a baby in the car That's for sure

I will drive very fast Have you had somebody go to the hospital For pregnancy? Yeah, exactly Yeah, I don't want it named after me Let's just get you there quickly I think I've had a couple conceived as well But yeah, just a I've had a couple conceived as well.

But yeah, just a couple times, just a couple times. But with the hospital, you always don't want to ask them how they're going. I mean, you'd be like, take me to the emergency. I'm like, so how's your day going? I just say, I'm like, do you want me to drive really fast? Right. And that's the option. But yeah, that's not the best fare.

Some of the worst fares are the ones the cops will call you because even they don't want to deal with these people. They're so drunk and they'll call you. Oh, what? Yeah, because they'll be like, yeah, come pick this guy up. And then it's just like a spaghetti noodle. I'm like, has he got any money? I'm not picking him up. They just think I'm going to clean up the mess.

I'm like, I'm not a forensics team here. As opposed to the drunk tank? Yeah, exactly. Take him to the drunk tank. I don't want to deal with them. Oh, man. Imagine going in a drunk tank. I've been in a drunk tank.

You've been in a drunk tank? Yeah, yeah. As a drunk? Yeah. Or on a field trip. Yeah, yeah. I thought they said dunk tank. It's not the same.

Is this for charity? Exactly. I stick my head in the toilet. It's a dunk tank. Yeah, this one I was like 22 like that, so I got dragged off. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. What's my head in the toilet. It's a dunk tank. Yeah, this one, I was like 22, like that. So I got dragged off to the... Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

What's it like in the dunk tank? It was just a cell. Yeah, a cell. Were there other drunks? There may have been others. It was the old jail in Victoria, so it was really tiny. So it was like going back into, you know, an 1880s jail. Ooh, fun.

Yeah, yeah. So it was kind of like a field trip. Yeah, I just went to bed. I'll sleep it off. You tried to get the sheriff's keys off. That's exactly kind of like a field trip. Yeah, I just went to bed. I'll sleep it off. You tried to get the sheriff's keys off. That's exactly it. Using a big magnet. Yeah.

That's why I always use string for a belt, so that I have something in the prison. Learn from movies. Because I always thought the idea of a drunk tank was fundamentally flawed, that you put all the drunkest people in a room together and locked the door. Doesn't that seem like that would result in violence? It's set up like a bar, but there's no bartender. They're just all sitting there, what the hell is going on here?

Yeah, what do they serve at the drunk tank? Gatorade? Yeah. Coffee. Ten cups of coffee, you can get out of here. Yeah, and what do they do? They just let you go in the morning? Is that the idea with the drunk tank? Yeah, pretty much they do? They just let you go in the morning? Is that the idea?

Yeah, pretty much. I think they just throw you in a room and they're just like, yeah. Some people want to. I've had people mutter and be like,

I think they get fed sometimes. I don't know. I didn't get fed, but maybe if you stay for the morning. Well, it's like being on a plane.

If they see you're asleep, then they're like, let's, his tray is up. They're going to bother. Although sometimes when you fall asleep On a plane Somebody will

Lower the tray And they'll put the food there And then you wake up And there's That's a good person Beside you Yeah I think they want to

Eat yours They're just like Let's get two meals Yeah I hope he doesn't Wake up before I finish mine It's empty

You've already eaten it Hey Discarding your garbage Sleep eating again Oh there are people That do that That like wake They sleep walk

And then they go And they eat Garbage Or they'll just eat like Garbage Yeah they'll like eat like Coffee Coffee filter

Yeah yeah Oh that's called Prater-Willi That was the disease Prater-Willi Yeah Prater-Willi Is it where they're Where they can't stop eating stuff

Is it where you have Hip dysplasia It is They just Face dysplasia They just go Consume whatever Like I heard a story

There's a girl I know that works With somebody That this girl Went in and Ripped open a Can of peanut butter Which was weird

They had a can Of peanut butter But they had to Because they protect Don't shake it up It'll go everywhere I think they got it To protect them

From the Prater Willie. Like, let's get, not the twist off tops, let's get cans. But she ate the entire thing of peanut butter, and I'm like, yeah, that is a problem. How do you spell Prater Willie? I think it's like P-R-E-T-A-R, Willie. Willie, like a person's name? Maybe it's I-E, I don't know. Yeah, it's pretty funny.

It's one of the funniest. It is one of the funnier named things. Hey, a Brady Willie? Yeah. It sounds like, you know, a Southern Trader Joe's. Yeah. Sounds like somebody you throw in the drunk tank. Oh, Brady Willie's going back here again.

He's only here for the free meal. He's already eating it. Oh, no. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, I just got out of the drunk tank. Although, they shouldn't. If you're just sniffing glue, they shouldn't put you in the drunk tank. That's true.

That's a whole different tank they should put you in. Yeah. The glue tank. The huff tank. Yeah. Which is the Huffington Post swimming pool. It's their thing about military equipment, huff Tank. Yeah. Which is the Huffington Post swimming pool. It's their thing about military equipment, Huff Tank. Their thing about it.

Uh-huh. Yes. Rather. You there. Uh-huh. Quite. Well, a couple weeks ago, I got to go to a baseball game. Oh, local?

Yeah, a local baseball game with Vancouver Canadiens. And I go probably once a year to a game. Single A, lowest level of professional baseball there is. Yeah. Do you remember who we were playing against? Oh, I could not tell. Oh, I don't even think I had heard of the city. Oh, wow.

It's always a... Like... You're a city, but not really. Yeah, I don't even think I had heard of the city. Oh, wow. It's always a... Like... You're a city, but not really. Yeah, yeah. It's like comedy. When we go to, like, a place, and there's, like, oh, you're not going there. You're going... Yeah, it's like the Coeur d'Alene Cougars.

Yeah, well, it's... I'm going to look up the league. You can get crummy animals if you don't even get a cougar. Yeah, yeah. And caterpillars. Wow, this... The Coeur d'Alene Caterpillars. Because, like, we'll play against, you know, the Everett Aquasox.

Sure. From Everett, Washington. The Salem-Kaiser Volcanoes. But I had never even heard of this city. Let me, current teams, I'm Wikipedia-ing it. The Everett Aquasox. The Spokane Indians. The Tri-City Dust Devils, which. Dust Devils.

Dust Devils. Where is Tri-City? Is that a vacuum? Oh, yeah. Tri-City, isn't that just where it's the three cities? Yeah. Anywhere there's three cities. Anywhere it could be Tri-Cities.

The Boise Hawks. Okay. The Eugene Emeralds. Okay. The Salem-Kaiser Volcanoes. And we were playing against the Hillsboro Hops Oh wow Sounds like a beer

But it's Oregon So single A It's wonderful I love going It's a beautiful ballpark Great day out This was for past guest Pat Kelly's birthday

Happy birthday Now in the past couple of years This was for past guest, Pat Kelly's birthday. Happy birthday. Now, in the past couple of years, because it's an old stadium, and there's no seats along the outfield. Nat Bailey. Nat Bailey Stadium. But in the last couple of years, they just added one section in the outfield. And it's like you can rent it out for birthday parties or... Oh, okay.

There were actually three or four, like, I think the U.S. Embassy was renting it out as well. It's just like a big area. And then is it netted or something so that balls don't... No. Oh, that's weird. Well, how many home runs do you think happened? I don't know.

I mean, I heard the Hillsboro Hops were coming out. Yeah, there's a great guy, Casey. The Mudville Hops. And yeah, so it's this great little, it's called the Hey Y'all Porch. The Hey Y'all Porch. Yeah. That sounds nice. It's sponsored by, I think, a cider company called Hey Y'all.

Hey Y'all. It's Prater Willie's party. Yeah. But since this is Vancouver and we have all these archaic alcohol laws. Oh, yeah. You can't actually drink alcohol in your seat there. Hey, y'all don't drink. Like everywhere else in the stadium, you can drink alcohol in your seat.

Right. Except in this special area that people paid extra for. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yeah. So there was like a beer garden area. Right. But then you, there was someone like standing between there and the, you know, 200 seats,

like making sure no one brought their beer from one area to another. Yeah. What a popular spot that must be. But it was great. And it had like unlimited hot dogs and you, you know, just feed yourself, whatever. Hot dogs. Ice cream. Oh.

Hamburgers, hot dogs. Fried chicken. Wow. Just like they were all in like a, whatever those heating things. Chafing dishes. Yeah. Yeah. And, um were all in like whatever those heating things. Chafing dishes. Yeah. And so I was there and it's very a real porch vibe because there's a row of rocking chairs at the back or at the front of the outfield.

Oh my God. And so Charlie Demers was there, past guest. Yeah. And he, we sat next to each other in these uh how many hot dogs did he eat whoa maybe i think he had a burger how many hot dogs did you i think i maybe had one i went for right for the ice cream after that oh yeah yeah how much ice cream did you i because i wasn't aware that it was around dinner time but i wasn't aware that it was around dinner time, but I wasn't aware that we were going to have unlimited hot dogs. And I, I, you know, you wore a belt. But a, uh, a stadium hot dog is going to be like $7.

Um, so I, yeah, so we were sitting in these rocking chairs, which when you rock, you're like, uh, you're, you're, the fence is right at eye level. So you rock back and you cannot see the field. Real relaxing. Baseball's coming towards my head, I think. A lot of this sounds ill-conceived. And then parts of it sound really, really nice. Yeah, it's really nice nice but it's both yeah

yeah um and we uh we were right above the uh uh the bullpen where all the pitchers warm up oh yeah and they all ignore you because people were like yelling at them the whole game and these are 18 year old kids yeah yeah yeah and so charlie and, anytime anything happened on the field, we didn't want to yell at some poor Dominican teenager making $10 in bus fare that night. And so we were trying to yell stuff that was like... Positive. Not positive, because they were the... Even though against the bad team, the opponent.

The bad team. So we just kept... It was right after the Brexit had happened. So we just kept yelling, was right after the Brexit had happened. So we just kept yelling, hey, Brexit, Brexit. So it was like a fun day at the old park. It was a real fun, dumb day at the park. Some political heckling. And at one point, I guess between innings, they throw a ball around on the field.

And like, you know, people yell, hey, throw throw a ball around on the field and people yell, hey, throw me the ball. Yeah, yeah. And all these people had gloves, like baseball gloves that they brought with them. And the guy threw the ball right at them. They all missed it. I caught it.

Oh, really? I caught a baseball. Yeah, pretty cool. Yeah. Did it have some smoke on it? Oh, it hurt my finger quite badly. They're like, Brexit. Yeah. Did it have some smoke on it? Oh, it hurt my finger. Yeah. Quite badly. They're like, Brexit. Brexit.

Yeah. So I gave that to the birthday boy. Oh, yeah. That's the thing. That's from all of us, by the way. That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

Because we weren't there. But yeah. So that's baseball for the year. Yeah. I might go back. Might bring the kid. Might bring the kid. Might bring the kid to have a beer. That will help you get a ball if you got a kid.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Increases your chances of getting a baseball. Oh, you know what else increases your chances of getting a baseball? A buck fifty. Go to Dollar and they give you a ball. Or go to any store. That's true. You pretend you got it.

Hey, thanks. That's true. You pretend you got it. Hey, thanks. That's a softball. Yeah, you just wait. You just keep it, you know, in your pocket until everybody goes for it. And then you go, hey. Official. Or stand by somebody who's got two hot dogs. You can't catch this.

It's all positioning. Yeah, it's been a long time Since I went to Any baseball game Oh come with us Yeah I should Yeah I should go out to the It's a fun lazy day

I love baseball Just to go sit You don't really have to pay attention There's a scoreboard That always tells you What's going on Yeah It's true

And then I had a friend that went On bring your dog day Yep And so that sounded Pretty fun But I don't understand What's in it for the dogs I had a friend that went on Bring Your Dog Day. Yeah. And so that sounded pretty fun. But I don't understand what's in it for the dogs. I brought a hot dog. That's all you can eat?

I don't think it was necessarily communicated well that it was Bring Your Dog Day because I heard about some people who were like, why are there dogs here? There's dogs everywhere. Did they hand these out at the gate? Did everybody get a free dog with entry? And then a guy like me, who has a dog, didn't even know it was happening. Oh, yeah, that's true.

Came home, Grandpa looks at you like, you know, I love it. You know I could have went. It's America's pastime. Yeah, he's sitting there with a little glove. Aww. They should let the dogs all go to the bathroom in the outfield to make it more

challenging i what that was my first thought was you have a stadium full of dogs what's the bat like what's the bathroom situation it's a terrible idea sounds like it looks like an easy fly ball oh the outfield just slipped because it's it's an you know dogs can if they're trained they can know when they're inside and when they're outside. So outside it's appropriate to do that. Yeah, yeah. But when you're at a baseball stadium, it's got a roof on some parts but not others. And the sun's coming down and the breeze is in your hair and in your fur.

Yeah, it's sending you all the signals. They saw another dog. I saw that dog. They really should just let them loose the whole time. Not even just like Just let them run around

on the field the whole game. That would be the best. And at the end of the game oh in the in the bullpen they have it's a very

Vancouver thing. There's an herb garden. There's just like a few flower boxes. Kid cilantro's coming up to the table. There's just like a few flower boxes. Kid cilantro's coming up to the table. That's exactly.

Do they call anybody kid? No, that's more of a box they can make. Sure. Cilantro fat. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. And it was one of the nights

when they have fireworks. Oh, yeah. Oh, that would have been a bad day to bring your own dog and then it's all fireworks. Scare your own dog day. But it was a really long fireworks display, and you just see three guys in the outfield lighting stuff.

Just running around. Running from bucket to bucket. And it was kind of, it was right, this might have been June 21st or something. It was like the longest day of the year. It wasn't quite dark enough for fireworks. Oh, yeah. They don't really work that well during the day. You don't get to see the bloom.

Yes. Yeah. It's quite a smoke show. Yeah, it just looks like smoke. We have a baseball team, and it's even worse level than that where I'm from. But the park's close enough to my house that I hear

cheering all the time. So sometimes I'll be on the toilet and I'll flush and then I'll hear cheering and I'm like, you're welcome. That's a really weird thing to be like,

what? It is weird if you are in the neighborhood and you don't know a baseball game's going on. Just like that, fireworks going off or. Yeah. Yeah.

It's weird anytime fireworks go off that aren't on kind of designated fireworks nights. Because you're like, who, no one invited me. Yeah. Because there were fireworks down by, down at Coal Harbor. This is like a month ago. Yeah. But it wasn't on a scheduled night. It has happened a couple years in a row.

Just some convention rents out. Yeah. And then all of a sudden you're just hearing exploding sounds. Yeah. And you're like, well, it's not the 4th of July. It's not the 1st of July. It's not Halloween. It's not the Queen's Jubilee.

That's why baseball games do it. I think it's just another way to maybe get some more fireworks. Nobody cares what the score is. Baseball, probably more than any other sport, is the sport that has the most giveaways and more things to

get you coming up to the games. It's such a long game that they've got to. But they don't do that at football or at hockey. Well, maybe they do it at hockey. Are there nights in hockey where everybody gets a mug? Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, shirts and stuff like that where they all wear colored shirts. And someone will skate out with the t-shirt cannon.

Yes. They used to have this blimp at the Canucks games shaped like a whale that would drop like Boston Pizza vouchers. Yeah. Oh, cool. It looked like it was near you and then it would float two things over. So deceiving. It was air plinko.

Yeah, yeah. Wow. That's why I would always bring a tall friend with me if I went anywhere. I would bring a butterfly net. It says Canucks on it, so you're like, yeah, I guess. Boston Pizza Coupons. Perfect. Well, that's what I won once. I got them once.

But it wasn't, you had to go like deep into the suburbs to a specific Boston Pizza. The suburbs of Boston. Oh, yeah, where it was born. Wait a minute. Boston's famous pizza? So, yeah, I went to a baseball game baseball game was fun that it sounds like fun yeah you should go yeah i'll make a pencil it what's going on with you uh well so i was away for a couple weeks and in the time i was away

uh my landlord is trying to evict all of us out of our house i've heard this episode before yeah i know uh but this is like uh we didn't we didn't do we didn't do anything she just we she wanted us to sign a new lease and we were like uh yeah okay but you have to make like you gotta fix the back stairs and stuff that are falling apart. She's like, you're evicted. So then my roommate, Andrew, he went to the residential tenancy board and he said, is this... How many places have you been either tried to be evicted from

or successfully evicted from in the last... Since this show started? All of them. Yeah, all of them. Yeah, I never left because either... either they used to live together yeah i evicted them because we that place that we last lived at the guy was he was gonna he renovated the house yeah so so he gave us like yeah it is gorgeous now yeah um but that's kind of like different i mean it's still an eviction but it's like It wasn't anything to do with us

Well I mean this one has nothing to do with us either She doesn't want to fix the back steps What date did she evict you before? Oh like In the middle of the month She's like you're evicted now As of right now The new people are moving in

Yeah so I don't think she knows how to evict people They don't need stairs. Yeah, these people aren't so precious about stairs. We brought rope. We're good. So anyway, and then one day, this is all while I've been out of town. She showed up at our place and was like, just let herself in and was taking photos of everything. And one of my roommates was home,

got her, and started filming her. Like, what are you doing in our house? And then she stole his phone. So then he called the cops. And the cops were like, you can't just go into a house. That's not part of the... Wait, so the cops showed up?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, the cops showed up. He called the cops, and they were like, put her on. wait so the cops showed up yeah yeah yeah oh okay yeah the cops showed up he called the cops and they were like put her on no the cops

showed up and anyway so then we thought we had a result do you call 911 or do you call the

non-emergency line it's a 913 that one I think you call the non-emergency line

I mean it's do people have that programmed in their phones I do now specifically because of this. So, yeah, then we thought we had it all dealt with, and then she sent us another eviction notice.

So she just keeps trying, but she's not good at the... Does she have... When you have an eviction notice, do you have to state, like, what are the grounds for the eviction? Yes. And what are the grounds? So there's check boxes, you know? She checked every single one.

So, whatever you could. Because you haven't paid your rent. And you're operating a drug lab. And you're smoking. Yeah. So, now we got to go and, you know, go through every single one. But I, she seems like the type of landlord, remember the place we lived at up at Fraser in 26 or whatever. And that guy was like a crazy, crazy old guy that lived on a farm and didn't eat a possum that fell in a rain barrel.

Remember he had the grave dug out in his front yard? Yeah. Like an empty grave sitting there. Yeah. He had like because we you visited his farm no he owned the house across the alley from us and he said yeah yeah he owned a lot of these houses and i assume they were in this family or something i don't know how but then remember he would always come he would drop off barrels he would always have barrels

like big oil drum barrels and And then he killed that hedge. Yeah, he killed the hedge. Yeah, he was a weird guy. With what? With a barrel? You poisoned it somehow, and it turned ghost white. Yeah. This hedge.

It was crazy. He stole its soul. But that's it, right? He did eat a possum that fell in a rain barrel, right? Yeah. Like, for all to see, like, did he brag about it? Or was he like, come over i'm gonna eat the possum from the old world type of was he or was he a circus like a geek yeah like come see

yeah the man who eats a possum i didn't even know we had possums here well we don't anymore now he ate the last one wow i heard they're good eats. Hot eats, cool treats, wet eats. Wet eats. Wet eats. Saturated possums. Jerry Queen's new. So, yeah, so I don't know that, you know, she's not a savvy real estate baron. She's just somebody who has these properties that have been in the family for generations.

And so she's, I don't know what the game plan is. I think if they get rid of you, they can up the rent, whatever. I think that's the game plan now with anyone. But you can't, unless it's like families moving in or unless you've really done something egregious. It's hard to get people out if you really bunker down there. Oh, we're bunkering. Yeah. egregious.

It's hard to get people out if you really bunker down there. Oh, we're bunkering. Yeah. Like that. Because we were kind of, we were like, do we want to, do we want to just leave? And we're like, no, we're going to stay. Yeah. Because we haven't done anything wrong.

No, exactly. If you just keep paying your rent, it's probably fine. Yeah. Some people you just never talk to. Well, that's what I would prefer. I would prefer to have the landlord that's the yeah or you can also change the locks on the door as well well that's you have to get like a ruling that says you're allowed to do that you know the same way she came into that yeah yeah yeah exactly but if we did that then she could be like they changed the locks without a thing all right i'd be like, these are the same locks we gave us. Yeah. You just lost your gear.

You got so many keys, you don't know what's going on. But yeah, I think she's like that other landlord. She owns different houses around and is a millionaire, but not- She's getting pushed out by Uber. Exactly. They're going to own all the houses. They will own all the houses. That's been going on. It's been a lot of fun.

I'm sorry to hear that. That's why there's a sleeping bag right beside us. Yeah, we got a spare bed if you need it. Oh, yeah. Well, Andrew, my roommate, is doing a really great job of dealing with this, which is because I would lose my mind so quickly.

But he was even there the same day she was at the tenancy board. And he overheard the guy being like, no, you can't. You can't just do this. They're going like, what about this? What about that? Yeah, but they had a lot. They had like a power bar with all the plugs plugged in exactly was it a modern power yeah do you remember the the second place that we lived like when we moved in the wi-fi network is called fuck you Fuck you, landlord. See, that can't be legal, right? This landlord that when we moved in, after we moved in, he was like, okay, so we got to discuss the yard maintenance.

We were at a movie when he sent us the message. Yeah. He was like, we're going to discuss the yard maintenance schedule. And Sean just wrote back like, oh, we're not doing that. I read our agreement and we didn't agree, but the people downstairs did and upstairs. That's right.

We came back after he said that and he was mowing the lawn. He was so mad. And I was drinking iced tea out on the porch. Yeah, that was an important moment for us. Because we were the only ones that didn't have to do it. Yeah, that was an important moment for us there. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Because we were the only ones that didn't have to do it. Yeah. But I remember him just, it was a sweaty, sweaty day, you know. It was just. Yeah. Yeah. But then he bought it off upstairs.

You guys are enjoying it so much. The people upstairs did it for cheaper rent. That's how it was traded off. It all worked out in the end. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. I'll all worked out in a minute. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. I'll pay the extra rent. Yeah. Oh, no.

It wasn't going to happen. And it was a pretty nice place, all in all. But it really needed to be redone and stuff. Yeah. It had run its course. So, it probably could still have gone another 10 years compared to some places. But for that area, I mean. And now it's like this.

They turned it into four million dollar suites Is that the one By City Hall No Yeah You had two places By City Hall Yeah

Then I moved like Yeah Just four blocks down But He also had A hot tub In his front yard And so like

A possum fell Yeah It was a possum catcher At least you can cook it in a hot tub. Oh, that's true. You just let it, it just kind of would swirl around. Like, but I remember kind of, because we would ask him to fix something, and he'd drag his heels, but then you'd look out the window,

and he was just sitting in the hot tub with his wife. Oh, so he lived like next door? Yeah, right. Yeah, he had the Fred Willard voice. He did. He sounded just like Fred Willard. Oh, cool. Yeah.

Which meant anytime he'd even, you know, get back to you on that one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, never going to. But yeah, then you'd look out the window and he'd be having these great, always, I feel like hot tub and wife swapping, I feel like that's all part of the same world if you own a hot tub. Yeah, sure, water bed. Yeah, absolutely. Water bed or rotating bed. These are all, I've never actually seen a rotating bed.

Are they just things that are in movies? Yeah. What are they, are yeah to make the sex dizzy i had a uh stationary bed but the room rotated oh yeah way more expensive it's more glamorous than anything but i mean it's something you see in like a comedy or whatever but i've never actually seen uh yeah same i'm or the beds yeah. Oh, yeah, I've never seen that in real life. Those are good to get crumbs out of the bed once you've eaten. That's what I use it for. But, yeah, no, I've never actually.

Probably chairs. Yeah, and rotating chairs like this one. Office chairs. If there's weird vending things, I'll always put money in them if there's something that normally isn't a vending situation oh like just something like oh i just want to see what you know like there would be like a little music thing in the booths and like that i'll always oh yeah yeah i'll always sink money into stuff that i've never sunk it into before just just for the sheer novelty what's like the newest one because i feel like they've stopped making those kinds of things yeah yeah weird because now we've got more coins.

It's more. Yeah. This is. This is. The golden age. The golden age of coins. I think the most modern one is probably those, the vibrating chairs at the, or the massaging chairs at the airport seem like.

Or wherever. Yeah. Wherever you might find a massage chair. Yeah. Not enough places. No. Yeah. Like.

I don't know. People sit in them and they, yeah. Like, I don't know. People sit in them and they don't even get a massage. I know, and you just hear the voice saying, please insert a coin. Exactly. And if you try sitting

in them without, like, turning them on, you're just getting a jab. Like, it's just pokes. It should be. You should just have something in the back that starts digging

into your spine. Well, there's people at the airport and, like, I think at the ferry terminal they're where you can get like a massage yeah i've gotten those before have you yeah is it good it's good when you're angry oh okay all right it's the first thing be like your plane has been uh delayed when i just walked exactly don't make me ghost Where you're like face down. Yeah. With like a chair with a hole in the face.

Yeah. Face down, ass up. Yeah. Exactly. That's not the normal position, but most people do that anyway. You can sit and relax. No, I'm good like this. There's also the shoeshine places at the airport.

Oh, yeah. Which are always like, I got to get somewhere. And if I get off the plane and my shoes are not pristine oh yeah i'm gonna hear about it it's weird that there's no coin operated ones no i mean yes but also that there's no like what's the brand name of shoeshiner like how come there's not uh you know tim hortons oh yeah last name they should feels like everywhere i go it's like a different it's you know well there was at the something in sun at the mall where they do shoe repair yeah it's money worth and best

and i think it's just a franchise of those because they were great i went there a lot to get like well shoes repaired or or if your zipper comes off your bag or something they could fix that and then throwing stuff away for years first I've been hearing about this store

and then I went back and it was a completely different staff like it looked like an owner operator before and now it's a different guy

now it's a lady doesn't know how to do anything how do you put the zipper on or they they do they like that's one of the zipper on? Or they do. That's one of the franchise things is you have to look like a guy who would own a cobbling place. That's everything. Oh, like an old-timey guy.

Yeah, like you have to have a mustache and kind of be unshaven and kind of look like your baby slept here last night. Cobbling shoes all night. Put on this apron. Let me see. Yeah. I don't know if I believe you as a cobbler. I think the shoe

shines, they should expand their business and make it so that you can take the crap off the bottom of my shoe. I think that would just.

That's more my style would be like I stepped in some shit two weeks ago. Two weeks ago? It's not all off. And the guy in the plane noticed

so it's uh give me a hand here I stepped into two weeks ago I'm just saying if you want to increase your sales yeah

I stepped into two weeks ago I've decided to fly in these shoes yeah I put it in a baggie to keep it fresh for you now get to work

yes I've as an employee here at the airport I have to undergo security checks every day and I'd love to clean the poop off your shoe. Thank you, sir.

There's no other place to do it. There is no place that you can go. Oh, wow. Yeah, I guess all the cobblers do have to go. Well, no, there's no

cobblers at the airport. Are there? Airport cobblers? Yeah, can I pick these up in two weeks? When I'm back at LaGuardia? Yeah, you do. It's like park and fly. Park your shoes?

Yeah. Well, I'm going to Japan, so it's a slipper culture. I'll just leave these here. Yeah, when I come back, I think the rodeo's going to be up, so we're going to leave these cowboy boots here. Buff them up. You see a guy come in, put them on, and walk them away. Yeah.

Put them on the seventh floor. Shoe valet. I love it. Do we want to move on to some Overheard? Yes, we do! Hey, MaxFun community. This is your friend, Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and a bunch of other stuff. I am a longtime member, supporter and devoted follower of Maximum Fun. And now finally, I have my own podcast on the network. It's called Magic Lessons.

And it is me coaching people through their creative issues and problems. This season, we have some amazing creators that we're helping through their joys and struggles of making Thank you. so that they can get their work done. I hope you'll tune into it. It's called Magic Lessons and it's all about love. Hello! This month's Beef and Dairy Network podcast is an Olympic special recorded here on Ipanema Beach in Rio de Janeiro. We'll be tackling all the big issues.

Should athletes be allowed to eat lamb? Should Olympic equestrian riders be able to ride on a cow? All these questions and more answered in this month's beef and dairy network olympic special find us at maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcasts from overheard overheard the segment in which we hear uh things out there in the world see things out there in the world report them back here on in the world, report them back here on the podcast.

And Sean, you were saying that even though you're basing an entire French show around things that you've heard in a cab, you were like, not sure you had it overheard, but you do now. I did. And I hope it's not the one I used last time. It's a good old retro. Well, we'll remember halfway

if we've heard it before. It is. And I have six days. I can also call one in that could be added. Throw. Well, we'll remember halfway if we've heard it before. No, we won't. It is. Nah, probably not. And I have six days. I can also call one in that could be added. As things go. Sideways on this one. I heard in the back of the cab, one guy say to another guy says, your girlfriend eats

a burrito like a man. That's super cool. Which I couldn't see, but I was curious. I'm like, how? Is that like a compliment? I think it was. I think it was.

It sounded like a compliment. She can hang with us. Yeah. Yeah. She's cool. Yeah. You guys are going to have burritos at your wedding.

Yeah. Sounds like a really bad idea. Yeah. Or is it like a sexual thing? It could be later on. It'd be like, you know, that time you eat that burrito,

I knew that we had chemistry. I don't know. Otherwise, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, outside of just doing one of those men and women are different routines. Because a man will eat a burrito like this, but a woman eats a burrito like this. Maybe. It was probably.

Yeah. Knife and fork. Yeah. I can't remember the exact moment, but if she spilled it on the floor, that might have and fork. Yeah. I can't remember the exact moment, but I'm, if she spilled it on the floor, that might have been it.

Yeah. People will eat food, uh, like they'll have a plate and then they'll move the plate out of their hand and just eat it. Over the floor?

It's like, you know what, I want to eat like a slob here in the back of the cab. Oh yeah, yeah. Throw the plate out the window. I had somebody squish

an entire piece of pizza onto my floor mat. I'm like, what? What? I mean, that is, I thought it was like the worst review of the pizza ever. I'm like, it's so bad that you didn't eat it and you squished it into the floor. You squished it, yeah. You squished it into the floor.

Nobody told me. It was there all night long. Nobody ever tells me if there's anything back there. There's a finger back. No, they'll leave the finger. Oh, you know what I found in a cab a couple of weeks ago? I was getting out of the cab, and I didn't notice it until I got out, but somebody had left their vape apparatus.

Yes. I have two of those. Do you? Yeah. Anything that people leave in my cab or I get through collateral, I throw a garage sale once a year. Yeah, a lot of umbrellas and lighters and yeah i was surprised by how heavy it was for a thing that you carry around all the time because it

was the one with the little box okay oh like yeah the vape yeah cube it's like a cube and then it's got or like a power adapter yeah it's got kind of and then it's got a recorder coming out of it. It's quite a... Instructions ought to be pompous. Oh, boy. Is it me, or is it like... When you see somebody smoke a cigarette, and then they blow out the smoke, it just seems like there's a little bit of smoke,

but with vapes, it's like... It's this huge cloud. Why is it? Because you can fill your lungs? And it's weird. It's, it's, you know, uh, air conditioning has got that weird smell to it. It's like that. I don't like it.

Cause I'm like, they're like, it's not here, but it is. And I don't like it. Yeah. There's some weird thing. Yeah. There's everything I don't like about it. So. I mean, there's a lot I don't like about it.

Well, they don't share it. Nobody's like, you want to. Oh yeah. That's true. Nobody ever just passes around the vape. Yeah. You think they would. Ugh, gross. Can you imagine imagine join me in my vape do they do i guess they don't there's no like

vape hookah bar i mean they're very well might be for the doors and burn it because i always wonder i go you walk by uh it seems like the two the two stores somebody can open is a pot dispensary or a vape store. Yeah. Or we fix cell phones. Oh, yeah. Anybody can fix cell phones. You bring your cell phone screen, we'll fix it. Yeah.

But like vape, what goes on in those stores? Never been in one. I went in one once to do our vape. Oh, to get the smell test that we did and what was going on just a couple guys hanging out a few yeah it was i was filipino teens okay and they were uh there was it was a lot of open spaces because the the vape juices come in tiny like medicine bottle yeah like eye droppers uh and so like the back wall they don't take up much space on the wall so it's a lot of empty space in the middle and then like it's reminding

me you could have pinball machines in there you could yeah there were some people sitting up at the bar i guess vaping and then there were it was like a head shop yeah yeah they stayed at they got their vape and then vaped there. Yeah. Yeah. Why go in the world where we can stay here with friends? Yeah. People who get us.

I still have my like frequent vapor card. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah. Yeah. This is from the baseball game. I was sitting next to Charlie And we could see this guy Way on the other side Not way on the other side

But like At a different part That we could We could see his face And he was this Angry guy Like You know

50 With Two 10 year old kids Next to him And he was just yelling At baseball players And uh charlie called him putz dad and he was just red-faced yelling and charlie was like i bet that guy's racist i bet he's just yelling at the because it was a black baseball player in the outfield number 18

and uh i was like well why don't i go closer to see what he's yelling? And it was nonsense. Oh, really? He was just yelling at the guy for the sake of yelling at him. Sure. While his two sad, embarrassed kids were standing next to him. And here's what I caught of him yelling. 18? You're far from perfect.

You should be 28. Okay, yeah, 18 being a perfect score 28 being very poor performance uh yeah I mean I guess it's one of the few places you could just yell at a stranger and not be arrested I go there and I yell at my own fault

and blame the players like 18 you're impotent aren aren't you? Yeah, you've got a sore foot because you don't stretch properly. Exactly. I bet you vape a lot.

I bet you secretly vape. It is. I went to the game there and there was two of them doing it and one was better than the other and the other one kind of got quiet. They were going at it back and forth a little bit. Not at the same person, but they both wanted to be whatever that is. And then one got more laughs and the other one just kind of petered out like bow down. I'm remembering.

It can only be one. Yeah. Get your own section. There's a guy heckling the baseball players in a league of their own, and then he gets hit with something, maybe a ball. Oh, yeah. It's shown. But you can tell sometimes one of these guys will say something,

and this happens at all types of sporting events. He says something that everybody's like, that was pretty good. And you can tell he knows, like, okay. All right. I'm riding this? Exactly. Honey, go get me a beer. And you can tell he knows, like, okay. All right. Thank you. I'm riding this? Yeah. Exactly. Honey, go get me a beer.

I am on. Yeah. And, yeah, you kind of, it happens in movies, too. Somebody will make a funny comment during the trailers. And then, uh-oh. Yeah, you're like, oh, we shouldn't have laughed at that. It'd be funny if a scout for a major league team noticed this guy and be like, I like the way you insult these people.

You heard of the New York Yankees? How would you like to heckle Albert Pujol? I don't know what you would say to him. There's nothing to really make fun of. That's exactly it. We'll protect you if he gets mad. There was a pretty good heckle. I went and saw the new Ghostbusters movie.

And in the trailers before. Not my president. The trailers before the movie were so disparate. Like it was an ad for a Trolls movie. Then it was an ad for something that was very intense Oscar kind of thing. And then an trolls movie. Uh-huh. Then it was an ad for something that was very intense Oscar kind of thing. A little bit. And then an action movie and somebody just said,

those are all over the map and everybody's like, okay. Exactly. We all enjoyed that. Yeah. It's the, it's the idea,

like it gets tense in there when someone's making too many comments and you're like, are they, do they know to stop when the real movie starts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This person, I think they made their joke,

stuck the landing, retired a champ. Do you ever... That's what you got to do. Because now they have, movies will have like six or seven just ads that aren't even trailers. Do people make comments about that uh yeah i mean and then there's one worked at home honey thank god we gotta get there early the commercials are on

time to shine but they also have added in this weird thing and i don't know if it's like just in canada or but they'll they'll have uh the you know before the ads they have the thing where you play with your cell phone yeah and you race a thing or you uh answer trivia tommy is it the tommy tidbits or whatever the hell they call them. No. Now they've replaced those with these games that you have to have on your phone. Yeah, you download the app of the, I guess it's Cineplex Odeon. Yeah, and you win points or something. Maybe it shuts your cell phone off. Yeah, exactly.

And then they do an ad that I guess is for snacks. Then they do an ad that I guess is for snacks. It was like all these popcorn kernels fly, like they're flying like they're pilots in World War II. Popcorn kernels? Yeah. And I was like, what? But the movie is just about to start, so isn't it too late to go get snacks?

Oh, right. Or remember that we have snacks. Because I found if you'd be like, hey, I'm going to go get snacks, everyone. Can we just pause the movie? Yeah. It doesn't go get snacks. Oh, right. Or remember that we have snacks. Because I found if you'd be like, hey, I'm going to go get snacks, everyone, can we just pause the movie?

Yeah. It doesn't go that well. Does anyone know that you can get popcorn in the movies? It was weird. It's like, well, you don't need

to add in more pre-movie content. There is plenty of like reminders that there's popcorn there. From the smell to the sounds. And should we be

encouraging popcorn flying? I see how that's going to go. How far can I throw this bag? Fly, popcorn, fly! Do you have an overheard? I do. I have an overheard from Starbucks.

What is that? It's a chain. They mostly are in the music business oh sure yeah it's a change of cd stores and they also sell coffee and they heat up cookies now that's really great because it takes extra 30 seconds per person oh boy can you de-stale my cookie for me yeah for a while there if you got uh like a bagel there they wouldn't toast it i remember that i don't know if that's still the policy i don't want everyone ordering food at the coffee shop yeah but i'm not for trying to make butter happen on an untoasted bagel oh yeah um but this person had obviously

decided not to use their full name to make it easier because, you know, like the person was like, how do you say that name? So he just shortened it to one letter and it just caused way more trouble. She goes, can I get your name? And he says, my name is N. And she goes, M? And he goes, N. And she goes, N? And he goes, yeah, just N.

So his plan of making things simpler was what's his complicated n name nincompoop exactly it's just putting in it's e n n um but also you can pick any name whatever you just agree with whatever they have and go with it. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm Bond's boss. Yeah. I was, uh, uh, uh, in Toronto and my friend Faisal called, uh,

a cab and his, his go-to is Phil. What's your name? Phil. And, uh, I was like, Oh,

is that your, that's your go-to? And he's like, yeah, because then it becomes, well, it was at five. Well,

and there's an end. You're talking about the mouse. Yeah, sure. We used to order pizza and we would just think that it was so funny to give them a fake name. Oh, yeah. It's for Vladimir. And then a Russian

guy shows up at your door. Oh, Vladimir, I don't hear a lot of that. Well, it's I'm not from Russia, but I have roots. Yeah. Only can give pizza to Vladimir. That's it.

We also have overheard sent into us from people around the world. If you want to send one into us, you can send it into SPY at maximum fun.org. Uh, this first one comes from Steve A from Toronto, Ontario. It's Steve O actually. Uh, I was walking through a large strip mall parking lot around lunch and I heard a

lot of commotion at the Wendy's drive-thru. Uh, there were a bunch of seagulls squawking at each other and refusing to move. Even when cars honked their horns at them i got closer to see what they were fighting over holding up the line and there were two pristine butter tarts on the pavement uh so they were fun they were just fighting over two wendy's butter tarts yeah that's good you guys still have butter tarts. You guys still have butter tarts? Well, not since the old country. Have you ever been

at a thing where the dessert is something like that? Like a butter tart? Like something that you would never... I love butter tarts. Do you love them?

Yeah. You know what I hate is mincemeat tarts look like butter tarts and it pisses me off because there's a distinct difference when you bite into

a pile of garbage and sugar. What is butter tarts? Just like sugar on top? Sugar. It's all sugar. Yeah, it's all sugar. Sugar with raisin goo oh okay yeah in in occasionally nuts yes with the shell yeah i've never gotten into no like the name is it puts me off yeah and there's almost it doesn't have anything to do with butter well i think the butter helps melt the sugar so they put it in there so it's not just sugar. Well, it's like

rhubarb has no, like you wouldn't bite a rhubarb, but you cover it with sugar and cook it. It's the best. Yeah, that's yeah. Rhubarb's only hope is sugar. It can't go anywhere without sugar. It's true. Rhubarb

can't sustain it. Now this is something i've never heard before sean pronounces sugar sugar sugar yeah because i sing that song all the time sugar i don't know the words i know it's about sugar that's exactly it i changed it to like diabetes um uh this next one comes from darren from vancouver hi i just overheard a woman talking to her friend while walking down the street say my dog and i have zero boundaries he likes it rough yeah oh they're both on a leash yeah

uh yeah i mean i think it's good to have some boundaries. Sure, yeah. Between man and animal. What's your safe word? Your dog? Manimal. Mike, stop. That's the easiest one.

And this last one comes from Kelvin A. in Sarasota, Florida. Woo! comes from uh kelvin a in sarasota florida i was walking down the street and a very animated guy was calling someone on his cell phone he said uh hey man guess what i just spent ten dollars on an uber to get to the bus stop wow what a time to be alive that's the new economy i don't like that guy you you would prefer he takes a cab to the bus. Yeah, your buddy Faisal's much better. Yeah, because my name also, if I go to Starbucks, they don't. Greg. Greg.

Is it Greg? Yeah. Because if I say Graham, they go, Gray? And I'm like, yeah, I've named the color. Yeah. Do I look gray? Yeah. Former California Governor Gray Davies.

Oh, yeah. Fifty Shades of governor, gray Davies. Oh yeah. 50 shades of gray. Oh yeah. Christian gray. Um, gray gardens. Sure. You wear a weird,

like a towel wrapped around your head. Yeah. Yeah. That guy, that guy, gray garden. Uh, and I guess that's it.

Overheards wise. I guess that's it. Overheards wise. I guess so. So Sean, oh wait, no, we do have phone calls. In addition to overheards that are written in,

we also accept your phone calls. Perfect. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 1-844-SPY-POD1. That's 1-SPY-P-O-D-1. That's one. Ugh. Spy pod one. Like these people have. Hey, guys. This is Sarah in Fort Worth, Texas.

With an overheard, I am about to watch the musical 42nd Street. I just heard a guy say, as soon as this thing starts, I'm going to fart. Speaking of great in-audience heckles. Oh, yeah, sure. Nothing beats it. Yeah, as soon as the lights go down and just like a little hush. Oh, man. Yeah, my encyclopedia Of Broadway songs

Is limited I think that song Is in that book I think you're right I couldn't tell you Another one And I doubt it They open with it

Well during the overture For sure Oh yeah Well maybe Here's your next phone call Hey David Graham I'm here at a Vacation In Skamania, Washington Well, maybe. Here's your next phone call. Hey, David Graham.

I'm here at a vacation in Skamania, Washington. I just heard somebody say, this is eggs, sausage on a bagel. Beautiful. They call it breakfast sandwich. The locals here call it breakfast sandwich. I'm learning the local tongue. What was the place called? Wackenau, Washington?

Skittle, Skittle, Skittle. It's just under Disneyland and TripAdvisor. But that's when I was a kid, like, my parents would take us someplace that was just, like, close close far enough away that you could call it a holiday but close enough that it wasn't like a super long drive but it wasn't like you go to a place called Sandpoint and you're like okay

it was on the verge of being deserted well during I can't imagine a place like that had anything going on outside of the hot dog stand it would be like a bandit in the winter yeah i like kind of liked those um ones where you go to a small town that was like a vacation town yeah but and you'd be like hang out on the boardwalk and yeah not have a summer romance yeah oh yeah that. That's always in the...

Is there a bike I can borrow here? I left my bike at home. Like a beginning of a Stephen King novel. Yeah. But like, when I was a kid growing up, you'd see those movies from the 80s where there would be a summer romance.

I was always like, how did you get away from your family long enough to have... And like often enough. Yeah. To like family long enough to have... And often enough. Yeah, to have repeat visits. Because at most it would be an hour. I played the creepy guy. Somebody I was with would meet somebody and I'd be like,

Who am I going to hang out with? Yeah, it seemed impossible that you would get enough time. Especially with siblings involved. You're like, oh, get away from them. Well, I'm going to go check on my sweetie. No, we're going kayaking today. I booked it

already. Did you wet your bed, Sean? Well, it's not my bed. Yeah, I'm on holiday. The roles are different. Here's your final overheard of 2016. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Rebecca calling from Portland with an overheard.

So I was at the pool the other day, the pool at my parents' condo, and there were three kids there also, all together, swimming and had been there for quite a while. There were two kids in the pool, and then one kid that was just walking around the edge of the pool and messing with trees and shrubs and bugs and stuff. No summer. And at one point, she called to the boy that was in the pool really loudly and multiple times. Ian. Ian.

Ian. Do you want to take a break? Do you want to take a break and smash a bee? Exactly. It's the number one thing to do. Yes. You know, you've been working so hard at the pool. Yeah.

We know you're allergic to honey. So come on over here. We're here in Smasher Bee, Washington. Our fun holiday spot. Beginning of a serial killer. You work your way from bee to human. That's right. Yeah.

Like once you can kill something that's as cuddly as a bee, then it's all downhill from there. But you're allergic to them, so you don't care. No, I'm fine. Bees are fine. Really? Yeah, my dad, very, very allergic. Yeah, my mom too. Yeah, he got stung.

I remember as a kid, because the clock was kind of ticking, he got stung on his hand, and his hand swelled up so fast, but he had his wedding ring on. Oh, no. He got stung on his hand And his hand swelled up so fast But he had his Wedding ring on Oh no It was like we had to figure out How to get his wedding ring off Before He kind of just Took his finger off

Right Right Ah Yeah we just missed some butter Yep It was the day of your Summer romance Went right in the tube

Yeah Yeah as I see her Just sitting in a canoe By herself Exactly Going across the lake Oh no She didn't wait

bye-bye soleil moon fry if you make it back from the hospital give me a shout i like that as a that seems like like a goodbye felicia like bye-bye soleil moon fry that's actually the first song in 42nd street um i've been holding it in yeah exactly our carnegie deli i've been holding it in since oklahoma yeah you see him scooping chili out of Yeah. Um, uh, now that brings us to the end of the podcast. Uh, Sean, when does this show start? Uh, I'm doing a sneak preview of Victoria this weekend. Uh, so we'll see how that goes. But then I have the Edmonton Fringe is, uh, August 12th to the 21st.

So I have six shows there. Probably on the Edmonton Fringe site is all the, uh, showtime. So if you want to see something pretty weird. You've got to go see this show. It's going to be silly. Yeah, because I, we'll see how,

I mean, as I say, I put a lot of effort in. I think people will like it, but I may never do it again. Who never knows? Yeah, yeah. But you're doing so many things in this thing.

It's like, I've never, I've never heard of a one-man show having more effort I try to do everything. Other than puppets, I have everything in there. than puppets i have everything

in there no puppets i john that's the next gen i gotta save a little some for the next yeah i'm a little surprised that there's no puff there is uh what's it called the uh the taxi driver is always listening it was actually supposed to be the taxi driver's always listerining but uh it's a typo 50 minute About my Fight against gingivitis In taxis The second half of the show Is just you

Gargling Gargling Gargling Oklahoma Yeah Um Now uh And did you have Anything else

Coming up That you want to plug No to be honest That's all I've done For the month That's the big thing Because you guys Have been talking

About the movies And I haven't Watched TV Or been Like probably a month And a half I've just literally Shut down

And just did this Which is weird for me Because I like to Do nothing And watch TV Yeah yeah yeah There's a lot of Good stuff piling up

It should be good That's exactly it If not You can watch me Have a complete Mental breakdown I go to maybe Three movies a year

So it's not like your We were talking About cutting edge Movie stuff Exactly Yeah And Did you watch that to maybe three movies a year. So it's not like you're, we were talking about cutting edge movie stuff. Exactly. And, Did you watch that new show on Netflix?

Yeah. I watched the, most of the first episode. It was so spooky. Yeah, yeah. And you know what? Good to have Winona Ryder back. Yeah.

Mister. Yeah. And is it, who else is it? Matthew Modine? Yep. Yeah. Now speaking of Edmonton,

we're doing a show October 7th in Edmonton We're doing a show October 7th in Edmonton The Up and Downtown Festival And we're also We're going to be In your Neck of the Woods Victoria

October 22nd And And also Saskatoon On October 8th So Edmonton Saskatoon Back to back to back Yeah

We're covering the west Powerhouse city East Get on it. Get a taste. Figure it out. Oh, God, yeah. And then.

Links for tickets for those shows is available on the episode recap at maximumfun.org. Which you should check out if you like the show. Buy those tickets. And speaking of other things that are plugging, I entered into a competition, one of these serious satellite deals. Oh. And I think the voting is now open because this comes out in august early august yeah and uh i don't know they didn't tell me what the website is though but i assume it's serious comedy top comic yeah

top comic once you find the website we'll put it on the blog yeah yeah they they haven't announced it yet like when we were recording this But anyways You don't even have to vote for me Past guest Sophie Buttle is one of the people Past guest Kevin Banner The important thing is You go out there, you exercise Yeah, you gotta vote

Get out there, rock the vote I think you can vote for all three Just keep voting Just vote Just check off everyone on the list Like like Graham's landlord does on the list. Oh, boy. Yeah. Not getting that vote.

And, yeah, head over to the blog, Recap Pictures and Videos, relating to the content of this episode. What are we talking about? I don't know. Brexit. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Whatever they call the Coeur d'Alene caterpillars. Oh? Brexit. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. The,

uh, whatever they call the Coeur d'Alene caterpillars. Oh sure. Yeah. The Hillsborough hops. Yeah. Hillsborough hops.

Uh, um, a taxi cab. Yeah. A picture of people, uh, in a ditch maybe. Yeah.

Ditch people. Ditch bangers. Ditch bangers. Y'all on Ditch Bangers? That's my favorite Harmony crime movie I kept looking Am I on Ditch Bangers? I was looking around

for the hidden camera Oh I gotta be on Ditch Bangers You just got Ditch Banged And yeah if you like the show please tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.