Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 438 - Caitlin Howden

Episode Date: August 8, 2016

Improviser Caitlin Howden returns to talk about how cool smoking is, how cute babies are, and how dumb soccer is.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 438 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's playing with his wallet. Like he's showing off just how fancy it is, Mr. Dave Schumacher. No, I'm pretending it's talking.

Oh, fun. When you're talking. Showing off how fancy it is. Ooh, look at this driver's license. Is that a new wallet? No. Oh, okay. It looks new.

Looks like a fresh wallet. You know what? It's the first wallet that I've started, like, I take out when I sit down. Ah. I used to just have a wallet on my butt 18 hours a day. 18 hours a day, seven days a week. And it would just start smelling bad. You would have it in the pool.

You would have it in the shower. Yeah, it was natural, like hair plugs. And our guest today, returning guest, one of our favorites, very funny comedian, a member of the

Sunday Service Improv Group that you can see every Sunday at the Fox Theater, Miss Caitlin Howden is our guest. Hello, boys. Hello. Hi.

I guess Mrs. Caitlin Howden? Yes. Yeah. Dr. Mrs. Caitlin Howden? Yes. Yeah. Dr. Mrs. Caitlin Howden. Well, I own some land. Can I be a- A lord? Oh, you own land?

Well, yeah. Wow. Let's get into that. Let's get to know us. Get to know us. Where do you own land? My family has a cottage north of Montreal. Okay.

And it's old Queensland that was passed down. Okay. And now... What does that mean? So it was land that the queen gave my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather. Wow. Queen Elizabeth I? I don't know which one it was.

Yeah, she's been around. Second, I mean. I don't think it was actually her, but it was like on her behalf. Uh-huh. And so it was passed down and passed down and kind of split up over the generations. Mm-hmm. And now, at Lac Papineau. Lac Pap?

Lac Papineau, yeah. Mm-hmm. Everyone who has land around that part of the lake is related to me somehow. Really? Yeah. So, there's like. But do you own it? Well, I mean, I'm.

You will. I own a part of it up the mountain right now. Oh, cool. Yeah. And around the corner. Up and around, yeah. Can you rename that mountain? No, no.

I just own the land. Right. Right. You own a mountain. The land on the mountain. You're the lord of a mountain. I feel like I own the dirt, but not the structure. You know, you can't...

It's in the same way that you can't own a lake because it's a body of water. You can't own a lake? No, you can own the water around a lake. This is the first I'm hearing. The water around a lake? I don't think you can own water. Like a moat around a lake? What are you going to do, like my water? You're like, what if the water moves around? Yeah, what if it dries up? Then do you own the clouds?

Oh, yeah. Can you? It opens a real box of worms. You cannot, such as Mango. What, uh, what, uh, didn't Bill Gates build a lake at his, like, crazy, gigantic mansion fortress? Oh, I guess if he owns the land under the lake. Under the lake. Under the lake, yeah. Under the lake. It is down, the better, down where it's moisture.

Yeah, there are man-made lakes. So I guess then you'd own that. Hmm. But I know you can't Well actually You can't own On the coast here I think on the east coast

The laws were different When they were settling that But here you can't own any property Below the high tide line Hmm So if As high as the water comes up Yeah

On the ocean You can't own You can't like If you have a beachfront home You can't own down onto the beach. Oh. And was it, I think it was Donald Trump who first came up with the idea of buying the rights to the like, on top of a building in New York. Oh, like the potential space. Yeah.

Like nobody had thought to buy that, thought to buy that that was a thing. Like, I'm going to buy, you may own the ground space, but I own the sky space above it. Whoa. Yeah, so you can own sky space. Sky space. That's such a future thing. Well, that's why he will be the best president. Yeah, that's true.

He's a forward thinker. He invented sky space. Yeah, he's the CEO of sky space. Yeah, honestly, what did Hillary Rodham Clinton invent? Oh, she invented a photon torpedo. Oh, did she? Yeah, yeah. They should put that in the news more.

No, it's done a lot of damage to a lot of people. I thought it was Hillary Rodman Clinton because she used to be married to Dennis Rodman. Well, they weren't married married. I thought she was Hillary Madonna Rodman Clinton because she was married to Madonna and Rodman when they were married. Remember when Madonna and Rodman were together? Yeah.

They weren't married. Did he marry Carmen Electro? Yes. Who also had a photon beam. He was named by Prince. Right. Prince named Carmen Electron. That's right.

Electro and Electron. Well, it's Carmen Electron. It rhymes right. Electro and Electron. Well, it's Carmen Electron. It rhymes. Didn't they get their marriage as opposed to getting divorced? Didn't they get it annulled? Right, because they hadn't had sex. Yeah. Because they aren't sexual.

Yeah, right. That's like when Sierra and the quarterback of the Seahawks said that they were both celibate. And you're like, I've seen your bodies in your music videos. You're not celibate. You're not celibate if I've jacked off to your quarterbacking. Okay. Okay. I don't make the rules, all right?

All of Ciara's songs are like, Let me push upon it, in it, but in buttons. But maybe she doesn't write them. They're all written by some horny somebody. What are you saying? Horny St. Hubbins. What are you saying? Oh, yeah. Who are saying? Oh, yeah.

Who are the... Oh, boy. Yeah. Who are the great horny people of all time? Graham and I host another podcast where we write songs, but I'm glad we don't do it while we're horny. Yeah, yeah. Because a lot of... Yeah.

We both make sure that we jerk off. You know what? make sure that we jerk off. You know what? Guys, I listened to your other podcast, and I thought there was a hint of horn to it in King of the Deep, but you know what I mean? That was me. That was the first episode, and we hadn't worked out all the kinks yet. And we hadn't figured out our kinks yet.

Yeah, well, I was wearing nipple clamps. I would love it if you guys did a sex jam. A slow sex jam? Like a slow sex jam, yeah. Or you mean like sex preserves that you put on your sex bread? Yeah, that you put on your butt before you have sex. That would be a pretty good name for a jam. An alternative jam.

Or for like a spermicidal jelly. Yeah, sex jam. Ew. Oh, no. It's sex jam. Oh, no. Why does it have raspberry seeds in it? Is there pepton in this? Is that what it is? Pectin.

So what else is going on? You own land. You invented the sky space. You married Dennis Rodman. I wish. I always thought Dennis Rodman was very attractive in a very alarming way. Yeah. How bad was he?

Oh, he was bad as he wanted to be. Oh, is that right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he had two nose rings. Yeah, and he dyed his hair a different color every week. He was always, if you ever had like a NBA video game, it was like, there he is. Oh, the one with the leopard head. Yeah.

He's got the head of a leopard on his head. But can you imagine like in the era that he was famous to be a guy who was wearing mascara and like going out in women's clothes and being in this like very kind of completely male dominated sport. Yeah. And being this kind of flamboyant Prince like character in athletics. It doesn't, there's nobody else that I can think of that's equivalent. Well, I've seen kind of started that,

right? Like he was the one who started like, um, I've seen the, the basketball player, Iverson, Iverson, Allen Iverson,

or Don Iveson, the mayor of Edmonton? I always get those two mixed up. Allen Iverson, yeah. Yeah. He was, I watched a documentary the other day because I'm self-employed, and I was watching it on Allen Iverson. That's it.

Not Don Iveson, the mayor of Calgary. Edmonton. Edmonton. Nenshi's, Calgary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, God. And he was the one who Wait, I thought, uh,

You're asking me questions. Wasn't Chris Webber the mayor of Calgary? No! No! No, it was Spud Webb. Yeah, no, Detlef Schrempf was the mayor of Red Deer. But didn't Allen Iverson, he came after Dennis Rodman? I don't think so. I think so. Yeah.

Okay, look, I don't even think I know his name, so I'm pretty sure I don't know when he came. Because Dennis Rodman was, he was like famous in the 90s. Yeah, Allen Iverson was like later 90s. Yeah. Mid to late 90s. Oh, well then why don't they make a documentary on Dennis Rodman? Why'd I watch that stupid one on Allen Iverson? There's one that Dennis Rodman's in.

What was that? I don't remember Allen Iverson being like a... He just shook things up. Yeah, but he wasn't like... You know, he didn't have a feminine side, did he? No, but he did weird things with his hair. Oh, yeah, sure. That was part of the documentary where they were like,

he was a real... He was a real disturber because he did his hair differently. Yeah, there was a guy. Who's the guy that pitched the no-hitter on LSD? Doc? Oh, Ellis? Doc Ellis. He used to wear curlers in his hair while he was playing.

Whoa. And people thought that was pretty weird. Which, I mean, it is because it's hard to wear a baseball hat. And also, this is when tens of thousands of people are watching you. You should probably, this is what you should have curled your hair for. Yeah,

this is the big show. Maybe he was running late because of all that LSD he had to do. I'm sure time management is hard when you're on an LSD. Yeah, how did he show up on time

is what I, I'm sure he floated there. I forget the story, but I, he didn't think, he knew he was going to be there. But he didn't think he was going to go...

He was going to be pitching. Oh, right. Oh, I love that. Well, I don't... I'm going to go to work, but I don't think I'm going to do any work. There was a really good...

I was fine. There was a really good eight-minute animated documentary about him. Yeah. And then they did a full-length documentary, and I was like,

I've already seen the fun eight-minute one. Yeah, he didn they did a full length documentary and I was like, well, I've already seen the fun eight minute one. Yeah, he didn't do other, it's not like his whole career he pitched on that. Yeah, well,

today I'm going to pitch on the mushrooms. Oh, I didn't get a no hitter, I lost by a thousand. Every other game he's on drugs and loses.

He rolls the ball to the moon. He walks over, hands the batter the ball. I think you should have this. This is for you. I think you should have this. So what's going on?

You're hosting a new thing. My God, yeah. That's not. That's not the FIFA fan zone. This is the movies at Second Beach here in Vancouver. There's free movies under the stars every Tuesday. Oh, I didn't know it was free. It's free. It's a public beach. Oh, I didn't know it was free. It's free.

It's a public beach. And last night we showed The Little Mermaid. So the movies, I guess, are all sort of family friendly. Yeah, we showed

We. Someone has put on The Outsiders. You just show up on LSD. I bring my DVD collection. No, they show like we're showing The Labyrinth Purple Rain in August

We're closing it up with Dirty Dancing Next week is Rocky Horror Picture Show Now is that family friendly? Rocky Horror Picture Show? I don't know It's sort of the Dennis Rodman of It kind of is Of movies

It's like non-threatening But it's, you know, a little gender bending It's fine And it does, you know, all revolve around Dr. Frankenfurter having sex with everybody in the movie. And also the movies do start at 9.30 at night, right? It has to be dark for these movies to go on. So, you know, if you've got your kid out at 9.30 at night, you're already an alternative parent. You're already like, you're being different.

How old were you when you first saw Rocky Horror Picture Show? Okay, so, haven't seen it. You've never seen it? Okay. Haven't seen it. Dave,

have you seen it? I saw it in college and they, so they drew the V on my head and. Oh, you went, you actually went to the. Oh yeah,

yeah. Nice. We had a really good movie theater at our university that would do, like, you know, nothing played for more than two days.

But it's like, like they would do the. And on the weekends it would always be cult stuff. And people went, right? Like, this is a thing that everyone went to. Yeah, CineCenter at the sub in Victoria. That's pretty cool. I don't know.

The activity of going to a movie with all your friends or, like, it being the event to do because either you can't drink or you don't want to drink. Yeah. I always loved that. That was so nice to like go with a bunch of friends to the movies. And then like if something was really funny, it was extra funny because your friends were laughing too. Yeah. Yeah.

I remember I once, this was before, well, maybe it was during college, but it was, I saw it here in Vancouver with some high school friends and it was something about Mary. Oh yeah. And I had, I don't know if I had already seen it or that, and it was something about Mary and I had, I don't know if I had already seen it or I had heard it was really funny. And so I recommended it and they laughed throughout, but then afterwards they got kind of like Dave, Dave likes weird comedy. Dave's a weirdo.

Dave likes comedy with jizz in it. You guys laughed throughout. I just recommended this thing. Yeah. We're not going to recommend it. We sure we laughed, but yeah, we're not going to recommend it. Sure, we laughed, but yeah. We went to go see a movie on Monday, myself and Emmett Hall from the Sunday Service, and I think other people, I forget.

It was Emmett's birthday, so we went to go see a movie. Oh, Taz was there, and my man Chris went, and we went to go see Hunt for the Wilderpeople. Hunt for Red October. No, that's. It's a Tom Clancy. James McTiernan directed it. No.

I was directed by Ellen Iveson. The mayor of Edmonton. Don Iveson. No, this is from the same people who, it's the New Zealand movie. From the same guys who did the vampire movie. Oh, yeah. What We Do in the Shadows. What We Do in the Shadows.

uh from the same guys who did the vampire movie oh yeah what we do what we do in the shadows and it was such a great movie that i there was one scene where i was crying from laughter and i don't think i've laughed that hard in a long time it was one of those moments where i was i was wheezing from laughing so hard it was tears were streaming down my face and I started making this sound. You know, when you laugh so hard, you start going. It was the whole theater was laughing, too. It wasn't just you. Everyone was. Yeah, everyone was laughing. I mean, I laughed longer.

You're a little bit better. Try to think of the last movie I saw where the theater was. But that's good, because you've given people laughs like that. It's good to get one back. Yeah, you deserve it. Thanks, Dave. Thanks, buddy. I think the last movie that I can think of where I was in the theater and I was losing my mind laughing was a movie called In the Loop,

which was by the guy who makes V. Armando Iannucci. Oh. Yeah, and it was basically like the prototype for what Veep was going to be. And the swearing in it is so great. Really? It's just some of the best, like most creative swearing. Yeah.

And put downs, just like in Veep. I can remember some of the swears, and I don't want to do them. I couldn't do them justice. No, no. There's one where a guy lets slip that he doesn't like a certain word and so this guy inserts said word in every sentence he says to him i also love the idea of like just getting somebody like that be like oh you oh you don't like the word cheese i'll find a way to put cheese into things

um vengeful but that was the last movie where that thing, like, where my cheeks hurt and I was, like, you know, like, actually, like, sore in the midsection. When you were a kid, do you, did, like, grown-ups recommend movies to you based on sort of, like, you're a weird, goofy kid? All the time. I remember I had never heard of The Naked Gun, and it was just, I guess, brand new out on video. But it had been in the theaters, and I didn't know anything about it. And from the name of it, I was like, why would I want to see this? Yeah, yeah. And then I probably rented it every other weekend for a year.

Yeah, it was the same with me. I remember my dad renting Airplane and saying, you'll like this. You'll like this. And man, he couldn't have been more right. I was like, this has everything I like. Will you watch it again now as an adult? Like these movies that you loved so, so much? Yeah.

Yeah. But it's hard to like know how funny they are just because you have them memorized. Yeah. I think a naked gun holds up. The first one holds up better than airplane does. Airplane has a lot of jokes that are pretty stale dated. Oh yeah. But naked gun.

You mean jive talking? Jive talking. Isn't happening now? There's a lot of, and there's just a lot of. Saturday night fever references. Yeah. Jokes like you would have had to have known the ad that they were talking about or whatever. Because I remember watching it with my parents and being like, I don't get.

What is that? I don't get half these jokes, but half of them are great. Yeah. The other half are amazing. Did your parents laugh at the other half that you weren't getting? Yeah. I mean, that means that your parents have a very good sense of humor. Yeah.

You know, that like, it's a respectful thing to see your parents laugh. To be like, all right, way to go respectful thing to see your parents laugh to be like, all right, way to go guys. I remember. Nailing it. Good for you. Proud of you.

I think there were a few like parents, friends, or like uncles and aunts who recommended The Party, the Peter Sellers movie, The Party. Oh yeah.

Never enough. And I was always like, nah. What is this, from the 70s? No, too slow. I remember it was, nah. What is this, from the 70s? No, thanks. Too slow. I remember it was, yeah, my dad was, he was the gateway guy to a lot of this because he showed us this movie called What's Up, Tiger Lily.

Woody Allen. Woody Allen, yeah. And he bought the rights to this. Your dad did? No, Woody Allen. Bought the rights to this like very cheaply made kind of kung fu movie. And then he redubbed all the dialogue with a brand new plot. And it's so funny.

And I've never seen anything like it before or since. That's a cool idea. It seems like something that would happen on YouTube. It sounds like a YouTube series now. It does. Yeah, yeah. But it was so funny it was so funny and it was so weird that they rewrote this whole movie and and then overdubbed it what do you remember

that it was on spike tv and it was that sort of uh it was like most extreme elimination challenge oh yeah the japanese obstacle course right it was a japanese show that they would then dub with american announcers oh yeah i think in japan it was called like takeshi's castle and it wasn't the same oh it wasn't the same guy and they would just make up like this guy is a you know a subway driver from delaware right right right i don't know if the jokes landed no and also you're like are you just making fun of these people? Yeah. Like, well, I think you're just kind of mocking them now.

Did you watch funny movies when you were a kid? No, my favorite movie growing up was like Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I liked, I think, and that's why I still like watching things that are very sad. Yeah. I love, I love starting the day with a good cry. Do you? Really? Oh my God, I'll go to the crime section tootsweet in the morning and of what oh you know i just like to watch the internet crime section of like huffington post or news or those

kinds of things right i remember i was in toronto with aaron reed um i guess last month a couple weeks ago for an improv festival and we were sharing an Airbnb and Aaron was in the living room and I was sleeping in the bedroom because Aaron very graciously gave me the bed and it was early in the morning and we were both kind of stirring but we hadn't spoken yet and I put on my laptop I was right on my crime section and I found a real sad video about a woman who had been murdered. Oh, Jesus. And I watched the video clip of it.

It was like the newsreel of like what had happened. It was about that woman who was murdered in LA by that Canadian guy. And he was like, his dad was like a big Toronto real estate mogul.

And he went crazy and killed his girlfriend. I did not. I don't read the crime. Yeah. You are missing a lot of crime. I mostly get up and watch Airplane and giggle my way through

and cry to that I started playing the video clip and all you could hear the first line was murder in Los Angeles and then Aaron Reid from the other room went no turn it off please don't start your day that way

he was so sweet. He was like, no. There's plenty of local murders to learn about. There's plenty of murders at home that could use your attention. It's like when you see your friends starting the day with like a cigarette and a coffee and you go, oh, have a glass of water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A glass of water. Or brush your teeth.

Anything. Anything that is not having a cigarette. But when I was a smoker, I used to start my days with a coffee and a cigarette. Same here. Oh, man. Before brushing your teeth? Sure. I guess so.

That's a bit silly. Yeah. It's like, I brush my teeth and then. Coffee and a smoke. The two best smelling things in the world will go in my mouth. In my mouth, please. It's crazy. It is insane because last night. If someone could just isolate Caitlin saying go in my mouth in my mouth please it's crazy it is insane

because last night someone could just isolate Caitlin saying in my mouth please in my mouth please make it a ringtone no no don't do that

yeah it's crazy having smoked and then smelling somebody who has just had a cigarette it is the worst it is the worst smell in the world.

I don't understand how I used to be fine with that. I don't know how I got so many people to kiss me. Wow. Well, come on. Come on. No, but when you smell, when you've just had that cigarette, and it's literally in all of your skin. Yeah.

And all of your mouth. And it's coming out of your nose still. It's when you still exhale after putting out the cigarette and smoke still comes out. You're like, where was that? Where was that

just sitting? That's weird. Just the extra plume of smoke. Yeah. How long did you smoke for? Oof, like 10 years.

In Montreal? Yeah, in Toronto. I was walking the dog yesterday and I, there's a guy smoking and I guess the rule in their house is you have to go out to the sidewalk. Which I'm for. Oh, I never smoked inside. Oh, no, but like you can't even go on the porch or whatever. Like you have to get off the property.

Because the smoke, this is what I've realized from living with these housemates. The smoke just blows in everybody's window. Oh, totally. Oh, we smell it. Like it's summertime and the windows are open and you can smell someone walking past. Man. But, and he had these shoes that were Nikes, but they- Show off.

They were his, I guess they were his smoking shoes because he doesn't put them on all the way. Oh, yeah. And the heels were crushed in. Yep. Get a pair of Crocs, you know? I did that before Crocs were a thing. I had a pair of shoes that I'd destroyed.

I've got a pair of Vans that I just, they're my outside gardening or whatever. Taking out the trash shoes, dog walking. Did you ever smoke inside? Never, never, never. No. Because I always lived with roommates. And then by the time I had my own place, I had quit. When you, while you were smoking, were there still places you could smoke inside?

Like bars? Bars, yeah. Bars, patios. Yeah. Patios are outside. Yeah. Okay. You can still smoke in bars in Vancouver when I moved here, which doesn't seem right.

And there, I don't know, the last time I went to, what was it, Patty's Pub? They had that sort of- Oh, the aquarium? Yeah, the glass chamber. Yeah, they had those at airports still, right? Oh, yeah. You'll pass by those funny little airports, mostly in European airports.

Yeah. They have these little cubicles. I remember smoking in one of those and just being like, boy, this does not feel worth it. No, this isn't good. No. And you're with kind of like people. They're all older.

Cause they're the only people that can't kind of be like, I just won't smoke until I land. And they have in the airport. They don't, the, the, the electrical system, you need a funny plug to plug in your vape.

It's a funny plug to plug in your vape. Did you start smoking because everybody else was smoking? I started smoking because I was cool. Oh, right. Good for you. Thank you very much. Because I was trying to get people to stop kissing me and it didn't work. It didn't work, so I put a cigarette in my mouth and then they all got burned on their lips. I started smoking because I went to college in Montreal.

Okay. I went to John Abbott College when I was 17 was 17 i guess and it was my time to find myself and apparently i am inside of a cigarette i always find that so strange when you like you like these cigarette companies are trying to catch you when you're 13 like hook you for life and then if you make it past that and then still start smoking later. Yeah. It was a choice, though, that I could make, right? It was me making an adult choice. Yeah. So I guess that was the point.

A bad adult choice. Yeah, I know. But can I be honest with you guys? Every once in a while, I love having a cigarette. Yeah, I can understand that. If I'm with- But Graham, you smoked for years and you can't go back one. Like, I cannot.

You cannot. No. What would happen if you had one? I would start smoking. Right, okay. Absolutely. Have you tried putting one in your butt? Yeah, I cannot. You cannot. No. What would happen if you had one? I would start smoking. Right, okay. Absolutely. Have you tried putting one in your butt? Yeah, I did a couple butt smokings.

Do you ever take them out of your butt? What? There's no cigarettes in your butt. Have you seen that guy who can do- Just a plume of smoke. Who can smoke like a mouthful of cigarettes at once? Oh, like the world record guy? Or no, just like a giant, you know, not like chain smoking, but just a mouthful of cigarettes.

It's like what kids usually do with pencils in school. Sure, yeah. Have you tried that with your butt? Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'm going somewhere with it. Hear me out. Somebody told me that they ran into like a mutual friend that I hadn't seen in years. And they said, oh, I'm going to see this show Graham's hosting.

And they remembered a thing where I was still smoking. And I finished a cigarette and started another one right away. And the person I was with was like, are you smoking another cigarette? And she remembers me saying, yes, mother. What a dick. Well well you're right well you're right and also like my my OB yeah mind your own these bring your own beef yeah well how did you quit when you quit just cold turkey or yeah I quit on April 1st. And then you're like. What's on that meal? Ah, it's a bag.

No, I quit because my doctor said, well, you know, you could develop cancer. This is the thing that women get at one point in their 20s. A lot of us. Cancer? Well, like that little scare of cancer. That, oh, they are pre-cancerous cells. Oh, yeah. You get your pap and it comes back abnormal.

And all of a sudden you start praying. You're quitting smoking. You'll do anything to be like, oh, my God. Like, all of a sudden. Were you smoking through your vagina? Well, sometimes. I would blow it out my vagina. Oh, wow.

But then I would also catch toonies with it. I'm from Montreal. Yum. But then I would also catch Toonies with it. I'm from Montreal. There was a woman who used to blow smoke rings out of her vagina. Really? Yeah.

I'm sure in Thailand you could go see a show right now. Yeah. I've been to Thailand, but we didn't go see those shows. No, I mean. Because they're sad. Oh, yeah. Yes. Well, I mean, they're not sad for the red-faced British pedophiles, are they? No, just sad for, like, humanity. Yo, yeah. Yes. Well, I mean, they're not sad for the red-faced British pedophiles who are there.

No, just sad for humanity. Oh, totally. And like your hopes for the future. Yeah. Um, the, uh, yeah, we don't, I mean, I don't think I went to the doctor once in my 20s. They don't scrape any cells off you. No. No, I would go to the doctor pretty regularly,

but that's because my body doesn't function well. Do you have a doctor? Yeah. You do. Of course. Nice. I'm an adult man.

Doesn't mean it's easy to get a doctor. No, and believe me, it was not easy. I had to jump through so many hoops, which is tough with your body. Not a good hoop jumper. Everybody knows it. But yeah, so you got kind of a thing where the doctor said, this could turn into something disastrous. Yeah, and that was enough to be like, okay.

And I remember making a promise where I was like, if this isn't cancer, I will stop smoking right now. Like someone praying to God, like, give me this break. Honestly, I don't even believe in God, but if the universe could help me out on this break Honestly I don't even believe in God But like if the universe Could like Help me out on this one I promise

I'll never smoke again I mean I still have a cigarette Everyone's got Yeah But was it very hard For you to quit Or was it just like

I'm out I'm not doing it anymore No it was hard Tell me about Your last few paps Fine now Oh good Yeah they're great No baby no cancer you know that's what they always tell me

they have to tell me i love that bob marley song but uh did you like chew gum or uh hypnosis or any of those type of things i think i actually just started smoking a little bit more weed. Oh, yeah. There you go. Which is a type of hypnosis. For sure. Yeah.

You know, my dad was hypnotized to stop smoking cigarettes. And? And it worked. He was also hypnotized to get over his fear of flying. And it worked. Really? Yeah. Did you try that?

Hypnosis? Yeah. No, I went straight to the nicotine gum and chewed it for several years. Yeah. Which you are not supposed to do. But every doctor is like, yeah, just don't start smoking. Like that's, they're like chew gum forever. Yeah.

You can also put an elastic around your wrist. I did that. Yeah. I tried that one. Snap yourself. Snap yourself. And you just look, you look ill. You don't look like you're well or trustworthy.

There was a guy in. While you're applying for a loan. In my dorm in first year, there was a guy who knew how to hypnotize people. Really? And like a couple times he would get everyone together and. I wouldn't trust that guy. Oh, but like he would do it. He would do a little show and everyone you'd have to be really quiet because a person has to be asleep.

Right. He tried it on me once, and I just couldn't fall asleep. Obviously. I was too excited. Also because there's a bunch of people watching you. They're like, I'm not going to fall asleep. But one guy, I don't remember all of the things he got him to do, but I just remember one of the cues he gave him was, when I say this, you will run down the hall singing your favorite song.

Oh, boy. And he started running down the hall and he was like, message in the bottle. Yeah, because you can't, you know, you can't fake it. That's weird. So this is this guy who's like a self-taught. Yeah. He had seen it done and asked the guy, like, can you teach me? And there were just like two or three steps of making sure everyone's relaxed.

And it's a rhythm of how you talk to them. And some people just aren't suggestible to it. Right. But if they are, that you can. Because, yeah, I met a guy last year in Winnipeg who does magic, and he also does this fake kind of mind reading. Okay, fake. Well, I mean, there's this way of doing it. Oh, the John Edward crossing over.

Well, he wasn't saying that he was talking to ghosts. It's more like he's like, pick a number, multiply it by three, divide it by two, is the number four. No, no, no. It wasn't just the math-o-magician. No, he would... Multiply a number by nine, and then take the two digits that it came up with. Do they add up to nine? There's a weird thing where you can plant, kind of at one point in the show, you can plant a suggestion in the audience's mind and then you can call it back and it makes it seem like you're able to read their mind.

Sure. Tricks. It's a it's a but it's like he said, he just learned it from books that he got at the library. Like these are old, been handed down through the, you know, through the decades. And it's and he built this whole fringe show around it was really great i saw like a short little thing of his act and i was like oh that's it's so cool i think if you're using your powers for good like a fringe show and it's okay it's when you start using your powers for bad like are there bad hypnotists i wonder yeah probably probably oh sure probably

for sure there i feel like i've dated some men and they've hypnotized me into thinking that they're charming and attractive. And then afterwards, you look at them, you go, what? Yeah, you're sleeping on like a Monopoly board as a pillow. You tricked me. It was all just your cool jacket. What? And you bought into the jacket. And then you see it's got one of those spinny circles on the back of his jacket.

Yeah, with your name in it. What? What? That's weird. Have you ever been attempted to be hypnotized? No, I think I'm too much of a skeptic. Right. And I also hate the idea of being made a fool of in public without knowing it.

I think that sounds like a nightmare. It does sound like a nightmare. That's why I don't like getting too drunk in public. Oh, yeah. That's a I don't like getting too drunk in public. Oh, yeah. That's a good rule. You know, because I hate the idea of the next morning waking up and not knowing what a fool I've made of myself and having to only speculate how stupid I was. That's a Katy Perry song exemplifies last night. God. Am I waking up in Vegas or was this last Friday night?

Or am I in California? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I'm up and I'm cold and I'm left and I'm roll. You know what, though? I'm team Katy Perry over team Taylor Swift. I don't care. Really?

Oh, for sure. Why? State your reasons. Oh, I don't know. Maybe because Katy Perry is a cool woman in her 30s. And Taylor Swift is just a big liar in her 20s. And I'm also a cool woman in her 30s. And Taylor Swift is just a big liar in her 20s. And I'm also a cool woman in my 30s. And also all this.

Were you a big liar in your 20s? Yeah. I'm just saying, you know what? Like Taylor Swift. Oh, I'm so innocent. My lips are so red. Oh, I used to have a bob haircut. Now I got bad blood. I have bad blood. are so red. Oh, I used to have a bob haircut. Now I got bad blood.

I have bad blood. Oh, Kanye. Oh, boy. My theory. You know that song, Bad Blood? You know who that's about? Katy Perry. No, it's about Pamela Anderson who has hepatitis.

No. Don't. Dave, don't. Don't remind me. You know, I just forgotten that she had hepatitis. Thanks a lot, Dave. Thanks a lot. I just forgotten.

And she used to make mad love. My thing about Taylor Swift is I've always speculated that she's a virgin. And that all these boys that she's dated have been trying to be the one. And that's my theory about her. Really? Yeah. And everyone knows this where they're like, well, someone's my theory about her. Really? Yeah. And everyone knows this where they're like,

well, someone's gotta get it. Yeah. And she's like, never gonna get it, never gonna get it. That's what she wrote that song about. Never gonna get it,

never gonna get it. Come on. Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it. Woo woo woo. Never gonna get it. Oh man,

that's when they knew how to write lyrics. Am I right? Mm-hmm. Those are the days of music. I also love Katy Perry because she just keeps dating John Mayer. She just keeps going back to the well? She's like that girlfriend where you're like, oh, you're dating him again, eh?

I get it. Does he still smell like cigarette? Does he still always say he's gonna jump? Like, I picture he's that guy who, like, if everyone goes, like, cliff jumping, that he's always like, guys, I'm gonna for sure jump off the cliff this time. And every time he just, like, hangs back with his guitar,

he's like, ah, I'm just gonna write a song instead. That's my image of John Mayer. Why did he bring a guitar all the way up there? She has a lot of theories about Katy Perry and the people in Katy Perry's life. I also watched a documentary about Katy Perry. Oh, really? The Never Say Never? Never Say Never.

And what did you learn anything about her? She was a real mover and shaker. She was the very first one to wear a tail on stage. No, I don't know. I didn't retain it. What about super Mario? He had that raccoon suit. Oh yeah.

Yeah. But he was never like, he never had a world tour. Sure. He did. Yeah. I guess I was, I just never went to the super Mario world to Mario.

Mario. I say, I say Mario. It's Mario. It's a me Mario. You know? Oh, I just learned this the other day.

Who Mario is named after was the guy who owned the warehouse that Nintendo was first developing games in. And he was coming by and complaining about them and their noise and keeping the place clean. Because it was just called like Plumber Man or something before that. They were like, let's call him Mario. Really? After a guy who kept complaining? After their landlord, basically. Why in Japan?

Was it in Japan? No. Oh, yeah. They developed. Oh, when they developed the English language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Mario.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Is that a Sony mix? Woo-hoo. I've always been a Sega guy. Sure. Mario. Ah. Ah. Ah. Is that a Sony mix? Woo-hoo. I've always been a Sega guy. No. No.

Please do. No. I do not like that. Okay, yes, I do. Okay. I'm sorry. I never got to this level. I don't know this level of game.

Oh, you're tickling him? Yeah. Oh, no. No, I lied. Oh, no. Why did you stop? I said no, but I had to play now. Mario's a tease, eh? Yeah tickling him? Yeah. Oh, no. No, I lied. Oh, no. Why did you stop? I said no, but I said no. Mario's a tease, eh?

Yeah, Mario's a tease. Always has been. What a tease. Yeah, I don't know much about Katy Perry. I only know... Why are you looking for that? Oh, look. This is a hot topic.

This is today's list of hot topics. Yeah. Oh, the view. Rest in peace. What? Is it over? No. It Topics. Yeah. Oh, The View. Rest in peace. What? Is it over? No. It will be.

Never. No, never. They can always just bring in new people. They gotta fill that hour. Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that Raven's gone, though, right? That's the Raven? Why?

I don't know. Why? Did she do something? Raven Simone? No, I think she's still on. Are they gonna keep her? I don't... Who's in charge of that show now?

The bald guy on the side of the stage? Captain Picard? No, he was the gel charge of that show now? The bald guy on the side of the stage? Captain Picard? No, he was the gelman of the show. Yeah. That everyone just kind of hated and shat on. Oh, really? Yeah, he was like the one man on The View who was like, good luck with these hens. And it was this one man's job.

He was the producer. And it always had the tone where it was like, oh, what a tough job this man has dealing with all these strong women. I never heard that. Well, I wouldn't even know. I don't even know who the current roster is of The View. Okay. You got Whoopi. You always got Whoopi.

I think they brought back Joy. I think they brought back Joy. I'm pretty sure. And Joy is always making like, she's always rolling her eyes on the show. Whenever I watch The View, Joy I'm pretty sure And Joy all the time Joy's always making like She's always rolling her eyes On the show Yeah Whenever I watch The View Joy is not happy

About being there I think Joy's hot takes There's Raven There's a very tall woman Who I don't know I think she's gone now Okay

The bigger tall woman Sure The pseudo comedian I don't remember No I thought she was A serious person Oh I thought she was One of the comedy people

It's like What they laugh at on that show at that hour. Yeah, it's prime comedy time. And then a right-wing blonde lady. Candace Cameron Burry. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Mayor of Calgary. She should be.

Yeah, she's married to the crappy beret hockey player. Yeah, Valerie. Yeah. And he doesn't, where does he play now? They're all retired. All the berets are retired. Yeah, they're in their late 30s. Get out of hockey.

Yeah, get out of hockey. They're probably in their early 40s. Yeah, probably. Get into selling cars. I'm in my mid-30s. No, you're not. Yes, I'm exactly in my mid-30s. No, you're not.

What does that mean? Come on. No, you're not Yes I am exactly in my mid 30s No you're not What does that mean? Come on No you're not You're fine I'm not I'm not Putting myself down Come on buddy

You're fine Yeah Do you think there'll ever be a man on the view? That's a Do you remember that one crazy summer when they tried to land a man on The View? I just want young boys to have somebody to look up to on The View. Aside from that bald guy. If it is going to be anyone, it's going to be the guy who did the voice of Iago.

Oh, what's his name? Gilbert Godfrey? Yeah. He becomes the anchor? Yeah. Oh, man, that would be great. He's the go-to guy on The View. Dave, what's going on with you? Oh, well, you don't want to keep talking about Katy Perry.

Do you have any more Perry facts? Don't. Because, what's going on with me? Well, we're having another baby. Oh, yeah. You are? Yeah. Get out.

Right? Congratulations. You didn't know, right? I didn't know. It's weird when you have a second baby because you tell some people and then you forget. Oh, my God, Dave, that's so great. Yeah, in January. No way. So you had sex um like

constantly great for the last ever since we got married oh dude that's so great you've already made such a wonderful human being i think that's so good that you guys are out of myself making another number two number okay wait when is margo's birthday september oh great so they won't have to share a birthday no this one will have to share a birthday with the new okay wait when is Margo's birthday September oh great so they won't have to share a birthday no this one will have to share a birthday

with the new year wait when when is the expected date well sometime in January I don't want to say because

that's fine once you say the date people are like is it here yet yeah and Margo was 11 days late so

it was annoying yeah and it was also like every day after her due date you know you guys were forced to tell everyone, no, not yet. Yeah. As it is, Abby, I'm sure was so comfortable in her own body that she was like, oh, please remind me world.

Well, they were both comfortable in her body. They were both? Margot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a, you know, pregnancy joke. Dave, I'm so happy for you guys. Thanks. That's so cool.

You guys, you've already learned all the pre-baby stuff. Well, we don't know the sex yet. No, no, no. I mean, the breathing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is weird the second time around because you don't go to classes. Right. You don't have to read the books.

You don't have to buy any things well i guess you have to buy a few things but but not really we still have every well pretty much everything yeah because it like we knew we were gonna try to have a second one so we weren't like get rid of it all quickly throw it out sew up my penis it's weird that they still do it that way well it's the only way it's the only way we'll learn you men insatiable oh it's weird that they still do it that way. Well, it's the only way. It's the only way we'll learn. You men, insatiable. It's true.

Wanting to put your seed everywhere. It's what we are. It's part of our genetics. We can't help it. I know. It's not your fault. But yeah, so it is like you do.

It's not, I guess not as life changing because you don't go from one day not being a parent to the next day you're a parent. You're just a parent now. You're just a double parent. You're just used to not getting drunk all the time and going to bed at 9 o'clock. Sounds delightful. It is the best. I can't wait to have kids just for that.

You can do that without having the kids. I can't. No, I can't. What if I told you that, what if I got a doctor to tell you that? Then maybe you'd. Scare me a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you been staying up after 10?

Because we got some abnormal results. Yeah, we've got some. Good night, good night, good night. Go to bed right away. Good night, good night, good night, good night. How does Abby, is Abby feeling good? Yeah, we forget all the time that she's pregnant. Really? Like, because she, the first little bit she was she had morning sickness yeah and now that's passed

and she's not champagne and then oh no dave you can you drink this it's gonna go bad you had a whole bottle of the pico to yourself wasted um and because, you know, uh, she felt gross for a while and now she's not really showing yet. And so there's like this window in between where you're just like, oh yeah. Cause we have another kid to take our mind off. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. And that'll be nice.

Uh, age wise. Cause then they'll, they might be friends. Yeah. I'm hoping. Cause if there's too much of an age gap, then you're like, I don't know, man. They're always the little sibling. But if you're close, if you're within two years. I don't know.

I have. Well, my closest sibling is four years older than me. Yeah. But I'm closest to my brother, who is eight years older than me. Oh, yeah. Right. But, I mean, I'm closest to him. We talk.

Yeah. Three times a year. Yeah, yeah. Right. But, I mean, I'm closest to him. We talk. Yeah. Three times a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's your best friend. Well, kind of. Yeah, because he doesn't put pressure on you to, like, want to hang out all the time. But we're also the most similar in that

we don't need to talk to anyone. Like. No. Yeah, right. Like, we don't need to. Like, I'm not worried that he's fallen out of love with me. Yeah. And it's funny when you, when you get together with your sibling that you're like, oh yeah,

it's all the same jokes. Like there's no, like we still will quote the same thing and we still have the same inside jokes and like it's set in stone. Like. Yeah. Nothing's going to change. Cause my, I look at my mom and her, because she has four siblings.

Yeah. And they still have their crazy inside jokes from when they were kids. Really? Yeah. So it's just like somebody will say something, it'll be from some commercial they knew when they were kids, and then they'll all say it together.

It is very weird. They still have the inside jokes. All jokes are based on commercials. Commercials from weird. They still have the inside jokes. All jokes are based on commercials. Commercials from airplane to your parents. Yeah, basically. I mean,

it's a rich vein of material. Yeah. It's also kind of neat. My husband, Chris, his brother is two years younger than him

and they are best friends. Yeah, my brothers are their best friends. Their best friends. Yeah. And I think it's so nice to have that. Because of your tyranny? I mean, that certainly pushed them.

Together? Yeah, together. They formed kind of more of a solid bond. Yeah, we're like, we both agree that this guy's got to go down, right? Yeah. And then they both. Cigarette after cigarette. Okay, mom.

They got into Kung Fu and then they really came back at me. I'm sorry, what? Yeah, they both took Kung Fu. Both your brothers got into Kung Fu? Yeah, very seriously. Yeah. And then they came back at me real hard. These younger brothers?

Yeah. Was this the brother that got married? They're both married. Oh, they're both married. But didn't you go- They married each other? They're real close. They love each other.

Both my sisters are They got into Taylor Swift's squad So that would've been fine That would've been fine It would've been fine I love that you said It wasn't gonna be great

That would've been fine That's fine It's fine Leave it Leave it Leave it It's fine It's fine

It's fine Yeah It's It's Yeah I don't know It's a weird I think that's exciting Like maybe they'll Oh yeah They'll be yeah, I don't know. It's a weird, I think that's exciting. Like maybe they'll.

Oh, yeah. They'll be buds. Yeah, we don't. Not when they're young, but, you know, when they get older. Yeah, I think. And like, well, it's funny. Margo saw Abby holding another baby a couple of weeks ago because our friends have a newborn. And Margo, you know know walked up and kind of

petted the the newborn baby yeah and then she does a little bit of sign language and then she she did this sign language for all done yeah you're all done mom put the baby down yeah that's uh i guess that's something you'll have to learn some stuff about is like sibling stuff. How to bring the baby along and be like, this is now the situation. Yeah, this baby's not going away. Oh, yeah. We've read a couple of like, you know, Spot. Ooh, Spot. He has a baby sister now.

She just closes the book and puts it in the garbage. Daniel Tiger has a baby sister now. Enough. Enough? Enough. Peppa Pig has a baby brother. No. Mm-mm.

One pig family. One pig rule. Policy. When my youngest brother was born, that was like my parents made it into a big deal. That you were going to be the, you were going to get, like like they made it like it was a big big exciting thing that was very smart right because it wasn't really but they were like no this is exciting this is like extra birthday basically it's for you graham yeah yeah yeah oh yeah you like you get a present too yeah yeah exactly that means there's going to be two birthday cakes.

There's going to be this and that. I was like, not strong at math back then. Still to this day, not strong at math. And I was like, yeah, this does, this tracks. Not good with time. I'm not going to get two birthday cakes at once. Every day is the same. And this birthday cake won't have my name on it, so that's less exciting.

And I don't get to blow out these candles? Hmm. We'll make you a second cake full of candles. And full of coins wrapped in wax paper. Yep. Because that was a thing. Sure, parents don't do that anymore. I don't think parents make cakes from scratch anymore.

I think you get an ice cream cake because that's what kids want. And then you just put dollar bills on top. Yeah. Kate, I don't think, I mean, from scratch, like, you can make a Betty Crocker cake pretty easily. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about eggs, flour, milk. Yeah, but Yeah, but even a Betty Crocker.

Kids don't know the difference. No, I know, but I don't think like. You can put a coin in a Betty Crocker. Yeah, you can just throw coins in there. Throw coins, big witch. Throw coins in the Betty Crocker mix. But do you, will you make Margo's birthday cakes with a Betty Crocker mix? Or do you buy her birthday cake? My sister makes wedding cakes professionally.

Really? She made the first birthday cake. And I assume that's an exciting thing for her to do, for niece making cakes. I don't know. I don't know what motivates people. This is the sister you don't really talk to? No, I talk to both my sisters. All right.

But it would just be, I don't know, like if I made piñatas. I talk to both my sisters, like, weekly, and my brother I'm closest to, like, quarterly. I always find it amazing when when um men will talk to their you know either their brother or their buddies you know go out for drinks and then you say so how are they doing good good okay well how's um how's their new job yeah i don't know yeah um are they so are they thinking of moving didn't really talk about it you're like what did you talk about For three hours The Simpsons Stuff

Yeah The Simpsons Coffee Politics You didn't talk about Your goals for the year Oh god Nope

We talked about why I can't get Amazon Prime here And he can Yeah yeah yeah Stuff like that Like Why where's your brother In Seattle

Oh right Yeah we talked definitely about Have you seen this on Netflix? Did you see that? I wish I could get American Netflix. Those are the... Yeah. Yeah.

Did you hear, did you see this documentary? Yeah, it was pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every documentary, anyone who recommends a documentary, it's amazing. Like, oh, it's got these, it's so unbelievable what these people go through. And then when you actually see the documentary and talk to the person afterwards, they back way off on how amazing. It was pretty good, right? Yeah, yeah.

It was good. I don't want to talk about it now, now that you've seen it. I wanted to appear smart for having seen a documentary. Yeah, so having a baby. Congratulations. What a wonderful way. That's so cool. Yeah.

It's a mitzvah. It really is a mitzvah it really is yeah yeah uh that's very sad what's going on with you my my frere nothing as good as that oh man oh boy now it's like uh you know a crazy lead story on the news now over to weather crazy lead story what's katie perry up to do we like her oh yeah uh i don't know i'm i'm back and forth on katie perry uh here's my is i think because i've been your fourth you're third and you're fourth at least you rhymed yours fourth and fourth i was in uh this is my my anecdote from uh being in toronto i was in, this is my anecdote from being in Toronto. I was in Toronto during, and I might still be going on, some soccer thing? It's over.

Okay. Who won the soccer thing? Portugal. Okay. So I was there. Did they win when it was? They sung when they're winning, like Robbie Williams taught them. But when was it over?

Was it over like a week ago? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Robbie Williams taught them. But when was it over? Was it over like a week ago? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I was in Toronto. I finished my run at the Fringe and had to take a projector screen over to past guest Craig Anderson, who had agreed to take it back for me the next day. Okay.

So we got in the cab. How's Craig, by the way? He's doing great. Good. What did you guys talk about uh simpsons um and we went through little portugal you drove along dundas yeah and we were just stuck in little portugal now i think the game had ended at 4 p.m toronto time this was 9 30 at night still as if the game had just ended really people running up and down the street with flags yeah and i was like well this must be a sport this is a sport thing or

a government has fallen oh yeah well a couple weeks ago people there were turkey people yeah yeah exactly we love the coup we love the people getting wasted for the coup. Yeah, foiled coup. And then people were, this is the one thing and I've never understood it my whole life. Still don't understand it. Driving, honking their horn for happiness. I don't get it. Have we already talked about this?

About honking horn for happiness? Or just this very event? Because I was there in Toronto during after one of the games that Portugal won in free kicks like it was a tie the whole game.

Was that the one that they won against France? No, that was the final. That was the final. So that's what I was there for. I was there when they beat Croatia

0-0. Oh. Yeah, this was 1-0 wasn't it? Yeah. Against France? Like it was a very Yeah, it wasn't a great it's france like it was a very and yeah it wasn't

a great game and then they never are uh soccer it'll take a while but i was in traffic and there are bad drivers around yeah someone's stuck in an intersection what are you honking at are you some people are celebrating and some people are just like, hey, you're a bad driver. Hey, I got to get out of here. I got a pregnant lady in my cab. Yeah, it was like, but I've been. We didn't tell the cab driver Abby was pregnant. You should have. Yeah, yeah. Do you have a pregnant discount?

But, you know, I've been around. I've been in cities where things have happened for the home team. I've never honked a horn, ever. Well, you don't have a car. No, but even when I had a car, I don't think I would honk a horn. For like, yeah, we did it. Honk at a honk honk. No.

The biggest one. It's weird and it's loud. It's really weird. The biggest one is, well, I mean, there was when we lost the Stanley Cup final here and people just flipped cars over yeah yeah i mean i'd honk my horn and be like hey stop i'm in here yeah i'm naked i'm sleeping and then there is when we won canada won the gold medal in hockey yeah they didn't have a car then so then but there but i definitely heard even then i was just like yay i heard honking all the live long day that day. Oh, yeah.

But you could also hear just like celebrating, not even in downtown, just celebrating in the streets of, you know, this suburban neighborhood. Did anybody do any murders during that? Yeah, there was the whole tournament. It was this guy had invented murder. That would have been fine. this guy had invented murder. That would have been fine. The guy had invented murder. But, you know, if during when a whole city is going crazy celebrating, good time to murder. Yeah.

Well, I remember when I was living in Toronto that some sort of soccer game had won. And people climbed on top of the streetcar. Like the streetcar shut down on college. It's like a trolley. Yeah, it's like a trolley that's on the tracks. But there's electricity up there. There's electricity all around us. Everywhere.

Carmen Electron taught us that. She would be a great cartoon. She would be. And people were like climbing on streetcars. That's insane. And running around. And it's also like, docars. That's insane. And running around. And it's also like, do you guys really like soccer that much? I know.

I call it hockey again. Damn it. Soccer and hockey. I think part of it is that there's. The weird thing is like Canada is a terrible, we're terrible at soccer here. Yes. And also, it's so boring. It's a great way to run around but here's my feeling about

people that are honking horns while they're driving it seems like something a drunk person would do sure right like it doesn't seem like a sober person would drive around honking and all their friends be in the car screaming and they would be dead sober So it does feel like very everybody around me is driving drunk. But it also feels like. Oh, yeah. I'm so happy because my great grandfather was Portuguese. Oh, yeah. I love Portuguese buns.

Those tarts. I'm fourth generation. But, you know, I still got the Azores in my veins. The Azores? Are those the islands off of Portugal? I don't know, but still got the Azores in my veins. The Azores? Is that the islands off of Portugal? I don't know, but good stab at it. It's also like, oh, I've been given a reason to get wasted. I mean, that I understand.

That's the part of it I get. Yeah. It's like, yay, okay, let's get drunk. But the driving part really still, the honking blows my mind. It's like when people go down for the pride parade and just get wasted. And I'm like, this could be any parade for you. I'm like, you're not here because you want to support or because you're like celebrating something. They're more just like, there's whiskey in this slurpee.

I'm just going to go get wasted in the sun. It's going to get too hot and I'm going to keep drinking. And around seven tonight, I'm going to fall asleep. Oh man. That is the one redeeming thing of, of any parade. Yeah. That you're wasted and done with the day by 6 p.m. That's what parenting is like.

Every day is a parade when you're a parent. Yeah. Man, I can't wait to be a mom. I cannot wait. Oh man. Do we want to move on to some overheard? Yeah, man, I can't wait to be a mom. I cannot wait. Oh, man. Do we want to move on to some overheard? Yeah, man. I'm Allegra Ringo.

And I'm Renee Colbert. And we host a podcast called Can I Pet Your Dog? Renee, can I tell you about a dog I met this week? I wish that you would. In turn, though, can I tell you about a dog hero? May I tell you about a dog breed in a segment I like to call Mutt Minute? I would love that. Could we maybe talk about some dog tech?

Could we have some cool guests on, like Lin-Manuel Miranda, Nicole Byer, and Ann Wheaton? I mean, yeah, absolutely. I'm in. You're on board. What do you say we do all of this and put it into a podcast? Yeah, okay. You think? All right.

Should we call it, like, I don't know, Can I Pet Your Dog? Sure. All right. What do you say we put it on every Tuesday on Maximum Fun? Or on iTunes. Sounds good to me. Meeting's over. Attention, Europe.

This fall, Maximum Fun is bringing a bunch of your favorite podcasters to London. Catch Judge John Hodgman, International Waters, and Bullseye, all recording live episodes at the London Podcast Festival. We'll have fan meetups and we'll be joined on stage by a glittering array of celebrity guests. The London Podcast Festival runs September 22nd through 26th, and you can buy your tickets right now. Just go to MaximumFun.org. Overheard. Overheard. The segment in which we hear the things, see the things, sometimes dream the things.

And then we report them back here. We like to start with the guests. Okay. You got something. So, okay. So I have one from last night when I was working this event. So everyone has walkie-talkies on site. Oh, cool. And this is the movies in the park.

Yeah. Right. There's a full team of people. And at these events, there's a lot of giveaways. And so I have a walkie on and I can hear it. And I hear, you know, Stephanie for Beth. Beth, go ahead. And Stephanie goes, look, there's a lady who's trying to scam free blankets from everyone.

She's already been at tents one and two. Repeat, she has been at tents one and two. We've told her no both times. I can see she's walking

towards tent three right now. She's going to tell you a very long story. The answer must be no. I thought that was very funny. Just the idea of being like, watch out guys,

we got a scammer on site. We got a scammer on site. We got a scammer. She's looking for a free blanket. Are there free blankets for anyone? Well, if you sign up for a car membership, you get a free blanket. But it's only the first 60 people. And then this woman. What is this?

Moto? Evo. Evo. Yeah, Evo. It's the BCAA car show. I know. Are we not men? I'm a car guy.

We are Evo. You can have both. I know. Okay. I also have my own show. Yeah, I know. Are we not men? I'm a car-devil guy. We are Evo. You can have both. I know. Okay. I also have my own car. Yeah, me too. Yeah, so it feels weird. Like your car's like, who else have you been driving?

Better be another hybrid. It is. Were you guys riding a Prius? Yeah, we have a Prius. And the Evo, Evovo Movo is hybrids? They're Priuses. Oh, okay. Yeah.

I'm smart cars. That's what I drive. Smart. Smart. Tiny. Tiny. Yeah. These people who come to these events who just want free things.

Yeah. And they'll literally leave. They're coming to a free movie. And they want free popcorn. What else you got for me? Yeah, yeah. You got free stuff? Also, working at a thing where you get to have a walkie-talkie is the most fun thing. Mm-hmm.

I worked at a job, several jobs, where I had walkie-talkies, one at which I had my walkie-talkie taken away because of pranks. One such prank? We would do lots of dialogue from the movie Alien over Ripley. Ripley, you're still alive. And the boss would come on, guys, keep this frequency clear. This is not for. And then, yeah, I had my walkie talkie. I also heard on the walkie talkie last night there was a mermaid on site that you could take photos with because it was the Little Mermaid movie we were showing. Oh, yeah.

So they had a woman who got dressed up as a mermaid and then came and you could take a photo with her. Was this part of the programming? Yeah, it was part of it. Or she just showed up? No, it was part of the, yeah, she was hired. Oh, yeah. For sure people are going to show up in costume to Rocky Horror.

Oh, yeah, for sure. But this was someone that was hired by the event. And at one point on the walkie-talkie, someone said, hey, so the mermaid has to go to the event. And at one point on the walkie-talkie, someone said, hey, so the mermaid has to go to the bathroom. So could someone get the wagon so we could wheel her to the bathroom? Oh, no. Because her feet were in her tail. And then someone said, can she not just take the tail off?

And then someone else says, no, she needs a lot of lube to get that thing on. Oh, really? So she has to lube up her legs before she puts the tail on. And then I saw an image of a flatbed truck wheeling a mermaid up a hill into the park's bathroom. Oh, boy. That's awesome. Oh, there's got to be pervs on Craigslist who would lube up your legs for free. Sure.

Yeah. Save, save. Yeah, save on lube. Hire a perv. Save, save. Yeah, save on loop. Hire a perp. Save a perp.

I take Margo swimming quite a bit, and it's a thing now that kids have mermaid fins that they go swimming in. Don't they drown? Yeah. They all drown. Because the whole point of having legs. Dead, dead. They're all dead. They're all dead mermaids. What do you mean?

Their legs are confined into a mermaid tail? I don't know how it works, but they... Yeah, it's like... It's one thing. They walk on the pool deck carrying these things, and they sit on the edge of the deck, and they put the things on, and they slip in the pool. It's like flippers, but it's all one instead of two different flippers.

I bet you that's really good for your core. And you know what? These kids have jacked cores. Yeah. And you've seen babies. Real lumpy. Yeah. Honestly, babies are either lumpy or have six packs.

You know what I mean? I feel like baby girls are always like kind of soft and like just gentle and happy. And then baby boys are always a little bit wiry and have six packs. This is from her stand-up act. What men and women are different. Oh, boy. Babies drive a car like this. Here's how a baby girl butters her bread.

You know what? I am going to start doing some stand-up. And that's going to be what I open and close with. Baby girls be shopping. Exactly. Baby boys be tight. And everybody just starts putting on their jackets. Yeah.

Oh, no. You know what? You can keep your free blanket. Oh, no. Oh, no. Dave, do you have an overheard? Oh, boy, do I. Oh, yeah.

This was one. I was in southern Ontario for a week. And, oh, this one reminded me of you. Me? Yeah. Okay. Well, I was in Orangeville, Ontario. We had just stopped to get lunch.

And just the idea of lunch. Yeah. And we drove past, actually, this isn't my overheard, but they have a statue of the guy who founded Orangeville, Ontario. Orange Lawrence. Is the statue orange? Nope. Oh, too bad.

His name was Orange Lawrence? Yeah. Wow. I would have thought, you know, Todd Orange or whatever. Yeah. But also it sounds like his dad liked pranks. Oh, don't worry. I'll fill out the birth certificate. Yeah. But also it sounds like his dad liked pranks. Oh, don't worry.

I'll fill out the birth certificate. Orange. Oh, no. Now my name won't rhyme with anything. Orange. So I saw, while we were there, we stopped at a park for Margo to play on a playground. And there were some kids there. And there was like, you know, a kid who was a little too old to be pushed in a stroller.

Oh, yeah. And there was like, you know, a kid who was a little too old to be pushed in a stroller. It was two moms. And the other mother said to this woman, oh, you don't have sunscreen? And she said, no, I'm against sunscreen. Coconut oil is a natural sunblock. What? Oh, man. I don't think that, I don't think the facts. That'll cook you.

That's what'll cook you. Oh, it'll smell nice. Oh, yeah. I don't think that, I don't think the facts. That'll cook you. That's going to cook you. Oh, it'll smell nice. Oh, yeah. And coconut oil. That sketch made me millions. Of views. Of views, yeah. What's a view worth these days?

A dollar. No. No. That says she got a million dollars. She got one million views. But then she blew it on Radler. Cost my mom a hundred thousand dollars.

I heard it was like, yeah, a thousand views is worth a dollar. Isn't it true? I heard the two that like, you hear about bands who get the,

you know, the most plays on songs that are Spotify. And they get nothing. And they make something like $400 that year. Yeah, that sounds,

it sounds like the way the music industry has always treated artists. Sounds like the future. But now we got bad blood. Yeah, that sounds like the way the music industry has always treated artists. Sounds like the future. But now we got bad blood. Yeah, that's true. So it's all been worth it. Graham, what's going on with you? I mean, overheard-wise.

Overheard-wise. Yeah. That was fine. That would have been fine. Mine's not very good. Oh, I can't wait. It's been three three recordings

very close together you know and I do wear earbuds a lot but I do wear earbuds a lot that's a thing that you should know

about me before we proceed a lot of time you'll be talking I won't be listening I like this character I did too

I picture him only wearing a suit jacket. No pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But with black socks. If only I had pants. I'm Orange Lawrence. But there was parked in front of the

theater that I was doing the show, the Fringe show in, there was a big construction going of the theater that I was doing the show, the Fringe show in. There was a big construction going on and they had a couple of porta potties. And the company name I thought was pretty, pretty nifty. It was G-Wiz was the name. Oh, nice. That's cool. Yeah.

I thought that was kind of fun. It would be even better if they were all G's like gangsters. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They were. It's G-Wiz. G-Wiz. I like that.

I like when you're selling something gross, right? And you can come up with a way to make it grosser. You know it stinks and it's nasty, but have a fun thing about it. Yeah. Yeah. Don't call it a comeback. Yeah, a pee prison. You've been sentenced to a pee prison.

Yeah. It's a stunk bunker. Stunk bunker is pretty good. That's pretty good, Dave. Yeah. Thanks. You know, they say we come up with a million dollar idea every day, but we just never act on it.

Who says that? I certainly don't. You know, a lot of people say that. Yeah. Like who? Barbara Corcoran from Dragon's Sharks Tank. From Dragon and Sharks Tank? The Dragons versus Sh say that. Yeah, like who? Barbara Corcoran from Dragon and Shark Tank. From Dragon and Shark Tank? The Dragons versus Shark Tank.

My money's on, well, it depends on if they're in the Shark Tank. Money's on sharks. One in the tank, two in the stank. Oh, Dave. Jesus Christ, Dave. That was my million dollar idea. No, that one, no, it wasn't. It was the Stunker Bunker?

Stunker Bunker. Yeah. Now, we also have overheard sent to us from around the world. I love these. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Rob B. from London Town. You can just say Robbie. Hey, Robbie.

Robbie. Yeah. Thank you. Robbie from London Town, UK. Robbie from London Town UK I was at the bar At my local pub waiting to be served Whilst the guy next to me He wrote whilst

Can I just interrupt? Yeah Are you being served? Yep The guy next to me was ordering some food He was an average looking chap Probably in his 40s He means chap

Yeah He ordered steak and chips. When asked by the lady behind the bar how he would like his steak, he paused for a moment, looked up at the ceiling, and replied very seriously and without a hint of irony, extra large, please. How do I want my steak? Really big.

Big. Really big. Big. Really big. Do you have Bronto burgers? Yeah. I want something, you know, the size of a toilet seat. It's where it's going to go later. Yeah. In the stunk bunker.

You've been stunk bunkered. Like people that go in an elevator, but then it's a stunk bunker on the other side. You've been stunk bunkered. Like people that go in an elevator, but then it's a stunk bunker on the other side. You've been stunk bunkered. That's how you advertise on YouTube. No, it's a million dollar idea. It's the prank show. That's one prank over and over. It's just an elevator.

Do you know that? Maybe you can go to different hotels. That's what the prank is. You never know which one's going to be the stunk bunker. It's like them when you eat the candies or the Dorito chips and one of them is really hot. Or like when you're eating Jelly Bellies and one of them is poo flavored. Or a stunk bunker. There are guys on YouTube that are YouTube stars that do one prank.

And they just do it over and over. Oh, yeah. There's like a guy who does a prank where he like just hands out fake parking tickets and they he's got like a hundred videos of him doing this one prank there's those guys who just keep adding more shampoo to ladies heads while they're having a shower what are you talking about how do these people add more shampoo to ladies hair without them noticing they're like that oh that's the my hands rubbing in that chip is it the scene from uh see no evil see you're no evil where he's blind in the shower

yeah that doesn't work no it's like it seems from porkies where they drill the scene from a european vacation where she's got she's got her something on her eyes in the bathtub and the guy comes in no it's the scene from the movie Outdoor Shower. People who have showers outdoors. Oh, and then they just keep pouring shampoo? And they keep pouring shampoo over a wall. And people are always like, what the fuck? I like that prank.

Fairly harmless. I mean, aside from the invasion of privacy. Sure. And all those scrubbing microbeads going down the drain. They're using exfoliating shampoo. Oh, sorry. My hair is filled with microbeads. My hair is still in curlers.

This next one comes from Aaron in Santa Barbara. Hi. I was at my church's. My two favorite first names. Santa and Barbara. Yep. I was at my church's Easter service, and this woman was speaking to the crowd and went to quote a hymn as, Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wrench like me.

Well, you've always been difficult to plan. I'm not really a lyrics guy. You know, Louisa's nice, but Lord lord it's hard to make a plan with her she's always got a wrench in it yeah oh um oh boy yeah excuse me while i kiss this wrench um this last one comes from kate in man, UK. How does she spell it? Manchester? Or Kate. Or UK.

Oh, the K-A-T-E. Cool. Good to know. What I don't like. Do people call you Kate? My whole family calls me Kate. Really? It's weird that people call me Caitlin, I find.

I call you Caitlin. I know. It's weird. No, it's not. What should I call you? You can call me Caitlin because that's how you know me Now I'm upset But they spell it C-A-I-T

Yeah And I have a niece Named Catherine Well everyone calls her Kate It was Kate from the day she was born C-A-T-E And the Duchess Is that who she is?

Who's married to Prince William? Yep Oh yeah Kate Middleton It's Catherine with a C But Kate with a K Oh that's weird Oh yeah thatleton. Kate Middleton. It's Catherine with a C, but Kate with a K. Oh, that's weird. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Hmm. Hmm. And then what's her name's getting married now? Pippa. Okay, well. Pippa. Is she marrying the other prince? No.

No, just some dude. Oh. One, two. Prince is kneeled before you. Pippa Middleton. This last one. Kate and Manchester. This is a group

of 10 or 11 year old boys were waiting for a lesson to start. Having a real animated conversation. Boy 1, I'm Macklemore's son. Boy 2, no, I'm Macklemore's son. Boy 3, guys, I'm Macklemore.

Boys 1 and 2, whoa! You just pulled rank! macklemore son boy three guys i'm macklemore boys one and two whoa you just pulled rank you're my sons and meanwhile ryan lewis is nowhere to be found no one wants to be ryan lewis in that when we play macklemore and ryan lewis everyone wants to be a copper or robber i'm macklemore's son. That's a really funny thing for a kid to want to be when they grow up. No, I'm Macklemore's son. You can tell by my haircut.

I'm singing a song about a garbage truck. He's got some good songs. He does. He's got all the best songs. Sure. He's got some great tunes. Yeah.

I went to the moped store. They said, Hey, do you like mopeds? I was like, I'm not sure, but I'm going to buy a moped. Here we go. Downtown. Ooh, ba tunes. Yeah. I went to the moped store. They said, hey, do you like mopeds? I was like, I'm not sure, but I'm going to buy a moped. Here we go. Downtown. Ooh, ba-do-ba-do. Downtown.

Ooh, ba-do-ba-do. You know you're a freak, son. Downtown. Hey, I have a son. Macklemore's son. Yeah, I've got two sons. Little kids. Hi, I'm Macklemore.

Macklemore can have two sons. Ryan Lewis can have none-nones. Hey, everybody. Look at the nuns. Yeah. This is rap. Guys, we're rapping. Yeah.

We did it. I went to the thrift store. I bought several things. I did a little trick that I do sometimes there where you take the- You pop a tag. Don't. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a pop a tag. I think gay people should be allowed to get married.

Macklemore, Macklemore, ceiling can't hold us. White guy. Hey, Macklemore. Hey, Macklemore, Macklemore, Macklemore. Riding on a ranger scooter. Look at me, Macklemore. Mackleless Macklemore. Now, Dave, do we have other overheards?

Holy Macklemore. Guys, we do have overheards? Holy macklemore Guys we do have overheards They come from phones If you have a phone Get it Open it up Open up the phone function Type in 1 844

And then Look at the letters Because I don't remember the letters 1 844 S-P-Y P-O-D 1

That spells out 1 Ugh Spy pod 1 Like these people have Hi Dave and Grant This is Benchment for SPYPOD1. That spells out one. Ugh. SpyPod1. Like these people have. Hi, Dave and Grant. This is Benjamin from Chicago. I was on my way to work. There's apparently a marathon

going on downtown here in Chicago. And as I passed by a coffee shop, two women exited. And one of them turned to the other and said, Oh, the runners! I picked that one because it sounded like your voice. Oh the runners! Running!

Oh I forgot about that. Oh yay! Oh yeah they're running! As soon as you said marathon I started thinking that it's weird that that's the name of a race but then also it's something they'd add on to something to make it just sound like a long thing, like a dance marathon. Oh, sure. A movie marathon.

Yeah. And you're like, but a marathon is a specific thing. It's a distance. Yeah. 26 point something miles. Yeah. Yeah. But it's a distance that they decided on thousands of years ago.

Yeah. When the guy. Marathon. Yeah. Rod Marathon Yeah The mayor of Edmonton Ran Ran

All the way around Edmonton And then the city is his Yeah That's how you get a city You have to just run around it So you should run around that mountain Yeah No my cousins will fight me for it

Oh boy It's too big of a mountain Also I'm probably going to sell it Don't tell my mom Don't tell mom The babysitter's dead Here's your next phone call guys And girls I'm probably going to sell it. Don't tell my mom. Don't tell mom the babysitter's dead.

Here's your next phone call, guys. And girls. Hi, Dave Graham at Tess. This is Ben from Wisconsin. I drive for Uber, so I get a lot of overhers. This one literally happened seconds ago. A man and his wife, girlfriend, a man and a female were in my car, and they were talking about where they wanted to get

some snacks. And he said, well, I'd like to go get some donuts. And she goes, well, are there such things as diet donuts? To which she replied, yeah, they're called bagels. The first thing is diet donuts, which you were glad. Yeah.

They're called bagels. I will have one diet donut, please. Oh, sure. Poppy seed? Oh, that's a cool couple. Yeah. They've got like fun repartee. I would like to know what the calorie count is for a donut versus a bagel.

For sure a bagel is way higher. Way higher than a donut? No. They're so dense. They is dense too but donuts also have that sugar right but then donuts is dim but you don't just get a bagel with nothing on it you put cream cheese that's a good point i'm a butter guy yeah me too i'm a butter guy i'm a butter face um but uh i like the fact that they are just getting in an Uber to go find donuts. Yeah. I could go for snacks. Great. Get in the Uber.

Yeah. Sure. This is life now. Now, can you call? I don't know because I've never used Uber. Can you call or not call, but arrange an Uber to go pick something up? You bloop an Uber. You bloop.

Can you bloop an Uber to go pick up something for you and bring it over? You don't bloop an Uber. What do you bloop an uber you bloop can you bloop an uber to go pick up something for you and bring it over what do you come on you gotta bloop an uber you don't bloop an uber you you bloop a booger no you bloop it no yeah oh do you guys see that uh huba stank's now opening for bloop an uber yeah bloop an uber there's a thing called uber eats okay and that's and it'll fetch you food right yeah that's what i'm talking about man i wish we had uber when you do that i wish we just had uber do you do you like pre-arrange do you uh who cares right away you know what forget it what was it dave graham improbable guest this is d is Doug from Harrisonburg, Virginia.

My wife and I and a friend are taking our daughter to the zoo, and we're looking around the giraffe and emu enclosure. It's supposed to be Africa, or it's supposed to be similar to that. And this person in the crowd, I just heard someone go, huh, so this is Africa. That's all. Like the song, Toto's song. Yeah.

So this is Africa. Africa, is it? Hmm. Well, I can put that pin on my map. I'm going to just check into Africa here on my Foursquare app. Fourskin app. I was chatting with Pass. I'm growing my Fourskin.

You feed it like a Tamagotchi. Yeah, yeah. I'm growing out myskin you feed it like a tamagotchi yeah yeah I'm growing out my foreskin for the summer I'm excited about this foreskin go where you can just

go and find it in different places I mean I use foreskin there's a bris happening over on this I use foreskin eats where a guy will

come over and deliver an edible foreskin yeah like a fruit roll up or uh you know chicken skin or Or just some

rice paper. Yeah. Absolutely. Some seaweed wraps. These are all things that could work. A dumpling casing. Guys, this is fun. This is one of my favorite podcasts.

It's true. I listen to you guys. Thanks. It's true. I listen to you guys when I'm putzing around. So you guys are my putzes while I'm putzing. You guys on putz? Isn't it puttering? Sorry? Puttering around? Yeah, you're right.

You're right. I'm schmutzing around. Yeah, because a putz is like an idiot. Well, then I'm putzing around. I'm not doing anything productive. I'm moving a plant from one corner to the other, looking at it going, no. Yeah, need more light. Mm-hmm.

You're self-employed. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I'm putting everything on an angle. I'm reading a lot of Norwegian crime thrillers, putting it down, listening to you guys. Yeah. What Norwegian crime thrillers are you reading? You lent me one.

I haven't got around to reading it. You should read it. It's great. Are you reading them in English? Joe Nesbo? Yeah. No, I'm reading them in English. I'll read one book that I have to read, like a Canada Reads book, and then I'll read one book for fun.

What do you mean you have to? Like I should. No. Yes, there are books that you should, like with the CBC's Canada Reads, I like to read those books every year. No, no, no. Okay, yo. I only read books. Culture vulture. No, no, no. Look at you. I only read books. Right. Culture vulture.

That are memoirs by Twitter celebrities. Yeah. Absolutely. Tila Tequila. Oh, Tila Tequila. Oh, did she ever find love? Huh? Did she ever find love?

Oh, she became like a Nazi. What? That's a harsh turn from her. Yeah. Wasn't she with Flavor Flav for a bit? No. No. No.

That's New York. No, but yeah, Tila Tequila said that Hitler had good ideas and then she said the Earth was flat. Oh, she's a flat earther. Okay, we gotta wrap this up. No, we do not. So is one of the tenors. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They used to be called the Canadian tenors. Yeah, until we disavowed them. Yeah Oh yeah Yeah They used to be called The Canadian Tenors Yeah Until we disavowed Yeah I use Flat Earther

To deliver me A pizza shaped Like a Flat Earther Kaylin do you have Anything you would like To plug At this point In the show

This is the end of the show I mean every Sunday At the Fox At the Fox Cabaret I do a show With the Sunday Service And That's at 9 o'clock. Yeah.

That's on Main Street. I mean, other than that, if ever you want to come over, my roses are looking great right now. I do want to come over and check out those roses. Okay, you guys can come over. Bring the fam. Okay. I'm making hummus. Oh, delicious. Oh, it's easy

to make. What do you use, a hand blender or a regular blender? Oh, I'm using a regular blender, but I'm making my tahini from scratch. There you go. You put tahini in your hummus? I make tahini from scratch in my hummus. Dave, what do we got to plug? Now, just this past Wednesday, episode four of our debut album came out. That's right.

That's the show where Graham and I have one hour to write a hit song. We did a episode four with a member of the Sunday service, Aaron Reed. So beautiful. And it was a, uh, like an eighties new wave beach boys. Yeah.

It was a new wave slash beach boys kind of thing. It's, I like it. It has a lot of like harmonies and vocal parts. Yeah. Check it out. It's, it of like harmonies and vocal parts. Yeah. Check it out. It's,

it's worth your time. And, uh, also I'm, uh, I entered into this serious competition, serious XM satellite radio, not serious. Like,

yeah, I'm going to see you cut it out. You can stop monkeying around with an eye. Yeah. Yeah. Serious. Serious. And, um, yeah, it's a vote thing, but I'm not campaigning for people to vote for me.

Just go out there and vote. You can vote for me. You can vote for Sophie Buttle. You can vote for Kevin Banner. You can vote for, there's other people that are in it that I don't know because they haven't announced the list. Can you win money? Yeah.

Ooh, vote for Graham. Yeah. Graham is broke. Graham is destitute. And, well, what else is going on? We've got some live shows coming up that you can check out. I'll post links to tickets to see us in October. October 7th in Edmonton.

October 8th in Saskatoon. And October 22nd in Victoria. And then we Also If you like the show Head over to Maximumfun.org Check out the blog recap Pictures and videos

Relating to the content Of this episode Dennis Rodman Oh for sure Carmen Electron Macklemore Yeah Macklemore Sure

The mayor of Edmonton Yeah Don Iverson Yeah Don Iverson And if you like the show Please do tell your friends To come on back next week For another episode the mayor of Edmonton. Yeah, Don Iverson. Yeah, Don Iverson. And if you like the show, please do tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Have you ever seen that triptych of photos of Prince Philip farting when all the family's standing around? And first they're very serious, and then the next thing you can see that Prince William is like, and then they're all laughing, including the queen. It's so great. Really?

Yeah. Do you know that's what's happened, or is it just... Well, you can tell because the way that he's looking at it, and the way that Prince Philip is kind of... He could have just said a funny joke. No, no. You should see these photos. It's like when your grandpa farts, and everyone goes, oh, grandpa.

Oh, my grandpa, both my grandpas were dead. Oh. I was born, so their farts were dead. They didn't leave any farts in their will? I have a jar in a safe deposit box. Have you opened it? No. We're going to keep handing it down.

Can you add your own farts to it? We sent the jar of farts away and it was compressed into a diamond for Abby's graduation ring. Beautiful. Abby's graduation ring. Guys. Abby's graduation ring. Guys, testing. Testing.

Testing. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.