Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 443 - Morgan Brayton

Episode Date: September 12, 2016

Actress Morgan Brayton returns to talk fan mail, Los Angeles, and scary malls.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody, welcome to episode number 443 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and with me as always is a man who's got really baby names on the mind, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah. How about Garfield?

Yeah. Odie? Is Odie a boy or a girl? Unisex. Okay. Yeah. Nermal. Nermal's definitely a unisex name. Oh, I thought you were going to say definitely a girl unisex okay yeah normal normal is definitely a unisex name oh 2016 um uh yeah

i've uh we've narrowed it down yeah to girl names but but no specific pippi longstocking yep dorothy sure we're going with uh fake characters yeah Yeah. Fictional characters? Who else? Who else? Help me out here. Oh. Oh, our guest today. Very funny comedian. Very unisex name.

Yeah. She's part of The Lady Show, which is celebrating its one-year anniversary this October at the Biltmore Cabaret. She is also the host of Morgan Brayton and Friends.

Nope. Morgan Brayton's Pals. No. Morgan Dinner at Brayton and Friends. Nope. Morgan Brayton's pals. Morgan Dinner at Brayton's House. Thank you, Dave. Thank you. Is that really the whole thing? Morgan Brayton and Other People? Well, I wanted to call it the Morgan Brayton Show

starring Morgan Brayton and Other People, but it didn't fit, so they agreed to Morgan Brayton and Other People. There you go. And also doing a fringe show in the vancouver fringe festival called dave morgan brayton and other people is it really no it's called give it up give it up and uh it's our guest morgan bray oh hello everyone thanks for having me what are some suggestions for Nan Bobsy Nan Bobsy

is that a real real name it was the eldest girl of the eldest twins of the Bobsy twins okay

or Flossy Bobsy Flossy Flossy's a good name what were the Bobsy twins they were or are well

because fictional characters are they never die well unless they do in fan fiction I guess but I don't want to read unless they do um in fan fiction yeah but i don't want to be stumbled or did he die yeah but he don't bring it i think he came back oh really or that might be gandalf for the new books oh i can't believe there's new books oh that's like really like there's a play isn't it no there's a new person child it's a book of a play it's

the script of a play oh of course Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. But isn't it a Harry Potter? It's Harry Potter. Yeah. Is it a musical? Can we make it one? Oh, definitely. Zap, zap, zippy,

I'm zipping you with my wand. Hey, baby, get in my car, I'm going downtown. Downtown. Here we go now, Harry Potter 2016.

Did Harry Potter... Wait, we should get to us. Get to know us. Did Harry Potter take place in the year that it was written? Or was it just nondescript times? It's pretty ambiguous. There's no cultural references. They're not like, oh, I hope Bob Do it doesn't you there's no cultural references they're not like

oh i hope bob dole doesn't win the presidency right at an english wizard school yeah and because they're in the wizarding world they don't have the same things as they don't have bob dole's's holding that wand. With his forehand. No. You've read the wizarding world. Yes. Oh, no.

Well, it doesn't matter now. Let's move on. But there were no cell phones in Harry Potter, are there? Because this is what I was trying to say, is that it's in the wizarding world where things are different. You don't need a cell phone if you can stick your head in the fire and through flu powder talk to other wizards in their fireplace. Oh boy, I'd rather have a cell phone. Yeah.

Hey, can you just text me instead of sticking your head in my fireplace? You just try and throw a text message into the fire, but it just keeps burning because you don't know how to do, what is it called? Floopsie? Yeah. Flossy Bobsie. You get a text message into the fire, but it just keeps burning because you don't know how to do, what is it called? Floopsie? Yeah. Flossy Bobsy. You get a text back. It's like, Newphonicus Houdisicus.

But at the beginning, he lives in the real world, doesn't he? Yes. And then he gets on a train or a boat? Both, actually. Oh, train and a boat?

Yes. Well, they have to go in a boat to cross the lake that is where the giant squid lives. Of course. Scary. Give it up. What's it about? Give it up is about my constant decision whether or not to quit my film and TV acting career. Right.

And the poster has you with many generations of headshots. Exactly. Yeah, because I've been a film and TV actor for 27 years. Whoa. Yeah, I know. It's alarming when you look at it that way, which is what happened to me. I'm sure we've talked about this before. 21 Jump Street?

I was on 21 Jump Street. Okay. Yeah. We were just talking about that today on Morgan Brayton and Other People because we were talking about being fans and I've only ever written one fan letter in my entire life

and it was to Crispin Glover. Oh, interesting. Yeah. And so, which then... Based on what? What about Crispin Glover? From Back to the Future? Yeah. Well, that was one of the things. Yeah, that's it. One and the same. Yeah. And so, which then... Based on what? What about Crispin Glover? From Back to the Future? Yeah.

Well, that was one of the things. Yeah, that's it. One and the same. Yeah. But he also, he's a very weird dude. Oh, yeah. He does all these weird movies and music. Exactly.

And art. He was in Ben? Was he in Ben? No. What was the song Ben was written for what movie? Oh, he was in Wilfred. That was Michael Jackson's song. Yeah.

And it was about a rat. Yeah. And Crispin Glover was in Wilfred. That was Michael Jackson's song. Yeah, and it was about a rat. Yeah, that was nice. And Crispin Glover was in the movie. He was? No, no, they remade the movie with Crispin Glover. Wilfred. Wilfred? Oh, I don't know.

I don't know. IMDB, that shit. Yeah, weird. He was in Charlie's Angels. He was in Charlie's Angels, yes. But he also, you know, he's an artist and just a weirdo in general. And I was quite fascinated with him when I was a teenager. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. He was on Dave Lett. Do you remember when he was on Letterman and he tried to kick Dave? Yeah. And he wore, he had like platform boots and these crazy bell-bottom pants. And it was all like, is this a joke? Is this not a joke?

And is that the one where Dave at the end goes, it's too bad Crispin Glover couldn't be here? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. He's the one. Yeah. But when he was on that show, he brought some of his art

and he made this art installation that was going to have this show, this exhibit. And it was about this woman who had a volcanic garden. And so I was inspired as a teenager and I wrote a poem about the woman who lived in the volcanic garden and it was this very tragic poem about how every day she rebuilt her garden and every day the volcano would erupt. And I sent it to Crispin Glover. And so anyways, it is coming back to 20 and Jump Street, trust me. And so I was telling them,

and then I was reminded that when I was on 20 and Jump Street with Vince Vaughn. What? Yeah, I know. And you know what the funny part about that is? Was this just one episode? Yeah.

Wow, Vince Vaughn. I was on two episodes with that, yeah. You were killed off. No such luck. I didn't get enough attention, not much attention. Yeah, Vince Vaughn was one of the other actors. You know, he was like a teen.

And I didn't realize for decades. Teen Vince Vaughn. Oh, yeah. I love it. You should see. I'll try and pull up a picture. I didn't actually realize that it was him for decades. Oh, really?

Because it just didn't even. And then I was like, one day I remember thinking, it's weird that that star has the same name as that guy. Oh, you even remembered the name. Oh, yeah, fully. Well, because we, like, I think we changed the number. He kept calling you, saying you were money. I mean, what does that mean? I bought you lemons, a mountain of lemons.

But he had a story because he had this conversation with Johnny Depp who told him that, I don't know how they were talking about Crispin Glover, but I don't know if Johnny and Crispin Glover were roommates or they just lived in the same building, but Johnny was always forgetting his keys and would buzz up and be like, can you let me in? And Crispin Glover would never let him in and was always like, how do I know it's you? How do I know you're not an alien who has made yourself look like Johnny? And be like, Crispin, it's me. Just can you please throw your keys down? Right? Wow. Yeah.

Crispin Glover famously would not do the sequel to Back to the Future. Yeah. And they, so they had a guy in makeup. And then Crispin Glover, rightfully so, sued the producers. I think he sued them for using footage from the first one as well yeah and also using his likeness as the dad or whatever and he won he won like and so he came to he's in bell bottom pants forever yeah don't worry about crispin glover um yeah we were talking a few weeks ago about uh like mainstream actors who have an artsy side, like James Franco

and Shia LaBeouf. I know everyone just writes them off. Like, oh, just do your job. It's kind of like, you know, Lady Gaga. Everybody really liked her when she came out. She was super weird. And then she recorded an album

with Tony Bennett and everybody's like, we don't like it we don't like it that you've gone yeah normal yeah that's true it's a weird reverse yeah like she tried to be like no i can be on a tv show and i can be a normal and the people are like no we hate this we want you to be one or the other We want you to be a weirdo or a same-o. Those are the... Those are your only two options. Yeah.

A norm-o, please. Oh, sorry. I know that's me trying to do normcore. Same-core. See? That's why you just gotta stick to being a weirdo. But did you ever... You never wrote to anybody when you were a youngster?

I wrote letters, fan letters. anybody when you were a youngster? I wrote letters, fan letters. I took my record collection, my CD collection, in about 1993, and looked at any one of them that had

an address you could write to. And I wrote it and I asked for an autographed picture. Oh, really? I got letters back from Peter Gabriel's assistant, Tina. Oh, she actually signed her name? Yeah. She's supposed to sign for him.

Yeah, exactly. She says he doesn't do autographs. But here's mine. Keep reaching for the stars. Tina. Tina Fey. I got an autographed picture of a past guest, Craig Northey, and the Odds. Oh, wow.

That's pretty cool. I got an autographed picture of Corky and the Juice Pigs. Oh nice. I never heard back from George Thurgood and the Destroyers. I imagine they're just on their tour bus making fun of my letter.

I'm 13 because that's what you have to write. I'm a kid. Please excuse my kid handwriting. You should be enjoying this because it's write. I'm a kid. Please excuse my kid handwriting. You should be enjoying this because it's fun that I'm a kid. How cute is this? This is so adorable. What is the point of having, because to me, having an autograph,

people used to have autograph books, and when you would meet a celebrity, you would get their autograph, and then that would be proof that you'd met them. Wouldn't it? Yeah, I guess so. What's the point of just having them mail you an autograph? Oh, boredom. I see. And people have. Teen years, you have nothing else to do.

That's true. You didn't have Minecraft yet. Yeah. Yeah. Think about all the hours that your teenager spends on internet. And imagine that the internet barely existed yeah and then you just yeah like you say you had to go cd collection find addresses oh this one's in uh yeah like the the gall assuming that someone would write me back and pay for postage but they did

tina that's how it was back in the day. Tina was good at that. I went to the library and looked through the white pages from the Los Angeles phone book to get the address to send a letter, my letter to Crispin Glover. Wow. I think I might have sent it to the- Danny Glover.

You're like, there's no C Glover, but there is a D Glover you're like there's no C Glover but there is a D Glover Danny Glover and Corey Glover from from Living Color what a mistake that was

oh no I think I sent it to the production company from what was that film River's Edge oh yeah

I think that was how I ultimately and then maybe they no stop with the rat movie no that was Winston

Willard not Wilfred Willard yeah maybe Willard based on that weatherman sure Willard Scott yeah

did you hear back from I did I got a postcard back. Clearly not from him. Very beautiful lady penmanship. It was clearly not from, not handwritten by him. But it was an arty.

Lord and lady penmanship. It was an art postcard with an invitation to his art show, art opening in LA, which I did not go to. But I did buy a book. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Like, I don't know. I never, I wrote, I joined a couple fan clubs.

See, this is what we're talking about today. None of us joined fan clubs, and I don't know anybody who was part of a fan club, but now I do. We should thank you for it. I was part of the Elf fan club. Oh.

I was a part of the Random Stimpy Spumco fan club. Wow. I was a part of the random, stimpy, Spumco fan club. Wow. I was a part of the Weezer fan club as a teenager. Nice. Which is a little late.

What did you get? Newsletters? Newsletters got a card. Oh, yeah, yeah. The card. I still have my ALF fan club. Oh, my God.

I also got an autograph picture, just standard. Yeah. And the Vancouver Canucks kids club. Yeah. And the Vancouver Canucks Kids Club. Yeah. Had to write a letter to that.

And like, did you get things? I think we ended up with tickets to a game once. Holy shit. You know they just hand those out, like, left, right, and center, though, right? This was back before. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, sure. Players were making millions of dollars and they had to sell tickets to pay for that.

Yeah, I like the industriousness, both of you, of writing letters. Well, that's what you have to do. But now you could just, it's so easy to get in touch with a celebrity. Well, that's what we were saying is with the internet, there isn't really even a need for fan clubs in that way because you can get all the information. Oh, I just like them on Facebook. Yeah, exactly. So I'm already a member of that club.

Yeah. Although Erica was very upset that Erica Sigurdsson, that she was not part of the Adele fan club because she released early tickets that you could get to her concert. That's true so she was and she tried Erica tried to join

and get in on that and they said nah you gotta wait 30 days to become a fan wow she also was convinced that if

she met Adele they would be friends yeah yeah yeah well but then she said when she found out how young she was she was very disappointed

because she thought she was close to her age and this was like she has this whole fantasy in her head about her she was closer to her age and this was like, she has this whole fantasy in her head about her friendship with Adele. her age on her album.

Right? Yeah, I, I think Pearl Jam still does that too. They have a fan club where you can get advance tickets

and offers stuff, which is smart. Like, it's a reason to be a member of a thing you would think that the whole fan club thing would have fallen in on itself after uh internet no selena oh look right because then you would be like well i don't know that i want to have a fan

club with somebody who's uh right because she was like her fan club president yeah right yeah why did you think that i said that because just because she was like her fan club president. She was the fan club president. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. Why did you think that I said that? Because, just because she died? I thought, I didn't remember the story and I wasn't remembering

because we were talking about Rebecca Schaefer from My Sister Sam who was murdered by a fan. And so I, when you said Selena, I was like, oh, the dude that shot her,

but then my brain caught up. So that's all. Sorry to bring the room down. No, no, no. It's fan murders. Yeah. But fans kill. Yeah, fans kill. Yeah. Sure. I'm trying to bring the room down. No, no, no. It's fan murders. But fans kill. Yeah, fans kill.

Sure. I'm trying to think of another one. Cam, Cam. That guy who tried to kill Ronald Reagan. Yeah. Wasn't really a fan. He was a fan of Jodie Foster's. He was a fan of Jodie Foster. But that was, it was to try and impress her.

Yeah. I think. See, now that makes Erica's fantasy of being friends with Adele seem downright charming. Do you think it impressed her a bit? Yeah. Wouldn't you be, Dave? Yeah. I did this for you, Jodie Foster.

Okay. Yeah. Well, I guess it's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks anyways. Please don't. Thanks anyways.

Tina. Well, I wrote to Peter Gabriel saying that I was going to try to kill George H.W. Bush. And, yeah. So, your show, is it pro-television and film career? Anti, somewhere in the middle or just the story of the journey that's exactly the question is uh you know i i've quit twice before for how long uh the last time about a year or so okay probably about a year or so both times, but I pretty much weekly, I'm like, why am I doing this? Because Jay-Z does that a lot.

Oh, yeah. This is my final, and I'm out, and then the next week he comes back. I feel like we don't have the same reasons. I feel like Jay-Z is not auditioning to play cashier number two after 27 years. Yeah, but he wouldn't land it either. Yeah, that's true. He doesn't have the chops. Well, most of the time,

neither do I, which is my point. Exactly. Yeah, I forget what I was going to say. Okay. I was watching my semi-annual viewing of Scarface. There's a guy in it who played the, have you seen Breaking Bad? Yeah.

He played like the old guy that was in the wheelchair that could only communicate by dinging the bell. Has looked that exact same way since the 70s. He's always looked like an old guy. He's only, as far as I know, played roles where he doesn't talk. He's been in the industry for you know 40 plus years and he's still you know the guy the evil looking guy in the yeah and that's his whole thing and you know what and i don't know that guy so i don't know his story but maybe he loves that

maybe he's super happy with that maybe that can you live off of that well that's i don't know because i don't know how much he works or what he's getting in the way you don't you don't have you don't have everything memorized i don't have everyone's pay stubs with me when you quit do you miss it uh not at first but that's exactly the problem is i don't miss it at first and i think oh this is the best decision i've ever made and i'm i'm i'm gonna be a bookkeeper and I'm gonna just have a normal life and I should have done this years ago and then yeah about kind of eight months in it it just it it feels like a monster that grows back inside of me that just takes over that I just it's all I can think about and I just want to I'm like a think about. And I just want to, I'm like, oh, I made a horrible mistake.

And do you seek counsel from your wife or anyone? Oh my God, no, that is the last person I would seek counsel from. Yeah, no, that's, you know, and that's part of, I talk about that in the show that, you know, I feel like any other career, if you'd been doing it for 27 years without being solidly successful, you would have no business being in that career. Right. Like you don't hear plumbers were like, I've been a plumber for almost three decades. Uh, things are going pretty good.

And you know, anytime now things are going to take off. Right. Like your family would be like, I got a call. I got a call to work today. Right. So,

uh, I'm set for a while. Yeah. Things are, yeah. I'm just waiting for that big toilet installation. Then everything's going to be different. I wonder if there aren't plumbers that have always just kind of not done a great job. And they've kind of gone from site to site. Never moving up. Just moving laterally.

But at least, and again, everybody's story is different, and this is my story, and so I can't speak to what makes anybody else happy. But, you know, if you're making enough money and it satisfies you, but even the making enough money thing is not necessarily enough, right? Because I could make a lot more money doing all kinds of different things. Like what? Bookkeeping? Like bookkeeping.

Well, but no, I had this argument with somebody because he said, you know, work is work, right? Yeah. And I said, but it's not. I could be an extra and I could work every day.

I could make a good living and I could be on set all the time. That's not what it's about. Right. Right? I didn't just want to be on set. I didn't want to just make a paycheck. Right. And so the show really is about sort of going, OK, what a why is this so miserable and talking about those kind of horror stories of being an actor and what you know as well as the good stories and the fun times that I've had and the great parts and the great experiences that I've had,

but also kind of going, well, okay, why did I want to do this in the first place? And how far away am I from that? And is that like how to kind of reconcile those things and figure out why I'm doing it or if I do want to do it anymore and if I didn't do it,

then what would I do? Because that's the question, right? That's a great concise logline for the show. Isn't it? Right? That's the elevator pitch. But, you know, yeah, I mean, because my, yeah, my wife, as you were saying, do you seek counsel from your wife?

Because she's always, she would love to move to a small town somewhere and always says that, you know, I could have my own theater company. Well, no, I could just, I could have my own theater company and I would be a big fish in a little pond. Right. And I just think. That sounds great. That I would be a big fish in a little pond. Right. And I just think. That sounds great. That does sound pretty good.

Big fish, little pond. It sounds terrible, you guys. It sounds like I'd rather shoot myself in the face. Yeah. Let's see. Why does that sound terrible? Well, and this is exactly the question. It's like, what is it about stardom?

Is it about making it? Whatever that means. Or is it about just entertaining? Right. So, yeah, that's these are all the things that the show kind of could be the weather girl on the local news that'd be fun from your lips to god's ear um there was a guy that i uh i met at uh after a show in winnipeg and he was a guy who is like similar to you he decided to quit his whole life he moved up to

dawson city and he the only reason He moved up to Dawson city. And he, the only reason he came up to me is because he's like, I've heard the podcast. I heard you talk about doing the toe. There's like a cocktail. He was the guy. He was the guy who swore you in and stuff.

He was like, I used to be the guy. And he said, yeah, he went up to the Yukon. I did that. I presented shows. I was the sound guy at this casino,

and he kind of was in show business. Right. And he said it was great. And I was like, why don't I go do that? That's amazing. But see, that's the thing, right? And some people can do that, and that does truly make them happy,

and they're much happier. And I don't... And you look down on these people. I do. You hate these people. I think they're stupid. I admire I do. I think they're stupid. I admire them, but I think they're stupid.

Do you have any part of you that, like driving through the country, you see these houses and they're on huge lots and they're beautiful houses and they probably cost $200,000 or something. Is there a part of you that's like, this might be okay?

See. Sipping lemonade. Mike's hard lemonade. Hey, y'all. Cider. Hey, y'all. Cider. Hey, y'all.

Is it a hard iced tea? It's the hard iced tea. Yeah. First of all, my wife is always like, we're never going to be able to afford to own a house. I'm like, who has a house other than Dave? I don't know. That has never been. I mean, my idea of having a house was,

I will have a mansion in the Hollywood Hills one day. That was just a given. It could still happen, you guys. But owning a house in Vancouver, it's like, like well that never really occurred to me that that was a goal so that i don't know the whole home ownership and having somewhere to own and be that that thing doesn't appeal to me i'm way too i feel like i'm way too dependent on my community and the my personal connections and where I live to be anywhere not that you're saying

remote but you know to have a big house in the middle of a big plot of land that feels like

a bunch of people in weird masks who would just come and murder me oh that's how I feel about that I'm glad you finally got there because that's how I feel about it

a bunch of people in weird masks I was like I'll have to use I'll have to own a rifle. They'll use it against me. Because I won't be quick enough to get to it because I'll be too trusting. These people whose car broke down in the middle of the night.

They'll be like, let me clean your gun for you. And you're like, oh, good. I don't know how to do it. We're on the same page. Yeah, that's how it all ends for me. Yeah, I don't know, man. I really vacillate between staying in the city and then I'll go to a small town and I'll be like, yeah, I could just live here just as easily as I live there, you know? But do, if you really imagine it for an extended period of time to you, because I do that when I go, my sister lives in Fort Langley and I go, then I go,

Oh my God, it's so, it's really cute out here. And there's a little bookstore and you know, I just feel adorable. Do I have internet in the place that I'm going? Yes. Then it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. See, is it, uh, are you picturing yourself in a little house or on a big ranch? Oh, because ranch seems nice, except you're going to,

you're going to get those people in the mass. No, I don't think I want to. You're going to be putting animals out of their misery every day. Oh, no. The fox got hobbled on my fence. Well, no, I would first make sure that it was my fence, and then I'd argue with

the neighbor. It was definitely your fence. Oh, this is a good fence. Why are you a good neighbor? I would, uh i think uh i think like a like a house that's you know but then i don't like doing any of the things that people in those towns like to do like get on a quad go out in the woods oh sure you know get on a snowmobile that's why it a fantasy. I have the suburban housewife fantasy all the time. When I go into the burbs, I'm like, oh, yes, we could have a house and I could this and that. But then I think four days in, I'd be like, that's it. We're going back.

Four days? Yes. I would give myself several years. No. 30 days tops. 30 days tops. For me, it's the, it's, it it's because I don't go out to things. But I like.

You could, though. I like a variety of ethnic foods, and they just don't have that. That is very true. But you could learn in all your spare time because you are the richest person in town. I hope so. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how this stuff works.

Whose fantasy is this? You learn all sorts of different ethnicities of cooking. Yeah, I also don't get how money works. How these houses cost so much less than these towns. And is everyone then suddenly rich? Like they have all this disposable income and that's why they own quads and duallys? Yeah, because I always think about it in terms of roadhouse so there's that guy that owns the biggest house and he owns the most successful

roadhouse yeah and uh he what he says goes in the town and i feel like that's what most towns have there's like a rich family or a rich couple of people and maybe they own a mine i don't know how much do you know about mining graham like how successful would you be as a miner as a miner you look like a miner you're there uh well i don't i don't know zero because my dad is a geologist so i know something well then you're halfway there what have you inherited knowledge just just passed on by i feel like there was some some osmosis about rocks and shale yeah what i learned well then i take it back oh yeah you're set for tell me about shale is it illustrious there was this one town that i went to and these guys they became overnight millionaires and like

they clearly they didn't know like because I don't like they probably were fine and then all of a sudden they had millions of dollars because they manufactured these like pellets that are used in heating furnaces in like the Nordic countries. I know those pellets. Yeah so

like these. Not like pine pellets. No they're like compressed kind of wood shavings and they're made into a pellet form that's what is that what they are pine we use for cat litter all roads lead back to cats guys i don't know if i have to remind you richer now but these guys had like uh whatever like uh a wood chipping business and then all of a sudden somebody was like, we need, you know, a thousand of your things tomorrow.

And so they're just like, now they're the richest guys in town, but they're also just like wood chipper guys. Sure. So what are they going to spend all that money on?

I think the show Duck Dynasty is about that. I think that's exactly it. Oh, they were, they're just, they just get a bigger duck.

Yeah. They just get a bigger duck. Yeah. They're just like, we're still in the small town. We're now super rich, but we're still hateful. Yes. That's another thing is I feel you look at a map of how people vote. And the further you get from the cities, the more right-wing things get. Yeah. And, well, but not all the time.

Because then there's these little, what do they call them? They call them villages or hamlets. Those are always like 20 artists from New York moved into a thing. And they turned it into. The Draft Dodgers came up and created Salt Spring Island. What about living in one of those? No. Jeez Louise.

Can't win with you. No. You won't move to Roadhouse. You won't move to Artist City. You've got to be somewhere they have cameras. Right. Speaking of Roadhouse, I do in my show talk about working with Patrick Swayze. When he told me that I should be on Saturday Night Live.

And then he died. The curse of Saturday Night Live. So what I'm saying is I was destined for stardom. Yeah. And then Patrick Swayze died. Nuts. So you think he was going to put in a word with Lauren? Well, no.

Okay. So the movie that it was on was this very terrible movie called Christmas in Wonderland. Which I showed a clip of at my... Oh, that's right. Was this a theatrical movie or a Hallmark Hall of Fame? No, no. I think it was a theatrical release. I don't know if it ever made it.

It had Chris Kattan in it. It had Chris Kattan from Saturday Night Live. It had Carmen Electra. Carmen Electra and one of the guys from Jackass. What did Chris Kattan think about you? You should be on Mad TV. This is the thing. You uh so it was you should be in dirty dance oh no uh chris so um the scene uh i played cashier number two and you nailed it yeah you nailed it me and cashier number one

had this very funny scene with patrick swayze, who was just trying to get home for Christmas and thwarted by all kinds of goofballs, including these two cashiers. Our scene was cut out of the movie, but it was the best part. Anyways, and so it was very funny, and we had the whole crew in stitches, and then Patrick Swayze said, get Catan in here. These two should be on saturday night live and uh katan did not get in there because he was unconscious in his hotel room um which is another story but yeah it was a production that was plagued i want to hear

that other story yeah no he was it was not uh just, I feel like there's lots of things I shouldn't, I probably signed things that I shouldn't talk about. You will not talk about Chris Kattan passing out. Yeah, no, I don't think it was just passed out. I think it was like, yeah, his fiance was hysterical trying to get a hold of him for a couple of days and somebody had to go in and yeah, it was bad. and somebody had to go in and yeah it was bad it was bad Chris could say

our scene our scene was the least of the worries of Christmas in Wonderland oh uh boy oh boy we wish him the best

yeah Corky Romano Monkey Bone Monkey Bone uh probably he'll always be Mango to me sure

yeah Mango was his thing and also being a monkey yeah was his other one Mr. Monkey Mr. Pe, Mango was his thing and also being a monkey. Yeah. Was his other one? Mr. Peepers. Oh, yeah, Mr. Peepers. Yeah, Mr. Peepers. Mr. Monkey.

Mr. Monkey. He was always, he always was, when I watched Saturday Night Live, when he was on it, was always kind of confusing to me. Because it seemed like everybody else had all these characters and stuff. And it seemed like he got cat like they were like and you and then he's like I don't know a monkey that eats an apple like is that a character

but it was the number like it was all of his sketches were the first one after the monologue I know and I bet it was but they were captivating but you know what I bet happened so in 30 Hollands my own sketch troupe one one of the cast members, Victoria, she would come to pitch meetings. We'd all come with these ideas or these fully formed scripts and be like, and then this happens.

And it's funny because blah, blah, blah. And Victoria would be like, so the lights come up on me eating cereal. Okay. No, that's it. Oh, me eating cereal. Okay. No, that's it. Oh, no, no, sorry. I forgot. Edith Piaf is playing. Okay.

Okay, no, that's it. Just like, and it's about three and a half minutes long. And, you know, in the beginning, we'd be like, well, where's the, what's the inciting incident? And then what is the,

you know, we'd always try to get to the bottom of it. And then we just realized she was funnier than most of us she would go she'd be like i'm gonna be the guy from dance of the dream man and dance across the stage in this suit and we'd just be like okay because was this victoria jackson uh oh thank goodness no victoria de chanel very very funny comedic actress and yeah and so we would just go uh victoria and we do the same thing with diana bang in the lady show it's like what are you gonna do this month diana um i have this idea about um charlemagne and he it's something you're addressing me to more like okay yeah it's in uh so what do you got fatima you know we just don't ask any questions because they're so weird and you just you just

trust like a tan i'm gonna eat an apple next that's what i'm saying right because you can't explain it but you know next week he was like i'm gonna eat a mango and they're like no and he's like the character's name is mango okay better, go! He's still got it. Does he? Does he? Now you've got a teenager in the house. Now it's the danger zone that

every parent is waiting on. Right? It's all fun. They're kids and it's fine. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, has it turned? Oh, yeah.

What now? That you pretty much said, what? What now? Hey, buddy, what? It's just wondering if you were hungry oh yes in a minute see that what why do i have to eat if you were in a small town you could send him out to forage and he'd be so tired the difference, but this is the difference between your fantasy and mine. You're like, is there internet?

Yes, I'm there. I'd be like, is there internet? No. Good. That's where I'm taking my kid. Oh, really? Just anything off the old grid? Although that wouldn't take away from video games. But it's just, you know, I feel like an old fuddy-duddy, but it is.

I often say to him, you know, in my day, you hear his eyes hitting the back of his head. But, you know, I'm like, you want to play video games? You had to go to the arcade. And when you were out of quarters, you went home, young man. Like, I completely sound like this ridiculous old lady, but he. Lady butt. Lady butt. like this ridiculous old lady, but he lady, but, but, um,

I, we were having, we are having a second girl and a part of me wishes that it was a boy because eventually he would want to get a video game console. And I would get to play. But you know what? Girls are, they're getting into it just as much. Yeah.

I'm not into video games, but my wife is. She is absolutely. She doesn't do Minecraft, and I think that's just to spite him. But yeah, no, they play all the video games together. There is much screaming, much swearing and throwing of things. And that's when I drink in the yard with the dog. Oh, yeah. I had a dog since I was here last.

Oh, an alcoholic dog. I do not share, as you know. What kind of dog is he? He's all sorts. Yeah. He's low to the ground? No. He is low to the ground.

Oh, heck yes. He's beefy. Yeah. He's got the Brayton body. He would have a great rugby career. He's part English Bulldog. What is his name again for the people? His name is Bunbury.

Bunbury. Yes. He's got kind of a great hairdo. He has the best hairdo. You can follow him on Instagram at at this is Bunbury. Yeah. Do I have to say the at the Instagram thing or I just say this is Bunbury?

I don't know. It's too late now. I know. We're not going to edit around it. No, I'm not asking you to edit. I'm just asking

you to educate me young, young ones. I think at. Okay, good. That's fine. I knew that. He, so he's

part English Bulldog and part, I think, Stegosaurus. That might not be far off. I think part rough coat Jack Russell. Oh, yeah. Because he is, he's wiry. I don't think I've seen him in person, have I?

No, maybe not. No, Abby has. But he's much bigger than a Jack Russell. You were driving. But he's the size of an English bulldog. Right. And he's got a hairdo that looks like a gremlin or something like it's so crazy the tufts of white and he has a mohawk yeah he has a mohawk

yeah so he's punk yeah he's a punk rocker did you name him or was he i did did he come named no his name was uh what was his name was pike Well, isn't that, that's like the traveling gypsy. Yeah, Brad Wilbury? From Snatch? Yeah, Snatch, yeah. Oh. Pikey, that's probably. He's traveling Wilbur.

Yeah, he's named after a Wilbury. Yeah. Pikey. No, I put my foot down and named him because I did not want a dog. As you may know, I am a cat lady. You might have heard. And yeah, no, my wife and my son have been, well, Michelle's been wanting a dog basically forever. And I've been saying no.

And then our son's been begging for a dog. And then you were like, no, let's just have a hundred cats. Exactly. We are actually nearing, speaking of a hundred cats, We are nearing Our 100th foster cat Coming through our house Wow Oh my goodness Yeah

Yeah Don't tell your landlord No don't Maybe they're listening But if so Yeah wow Congratulations Thank you

Thank you Congratulations on all of it It's all happening Thanks But yeah no I didn't want the dog I didn't want a dog. I didn't want a dog. Uh, they finally won.

And cause I said, I'm going to be the one, I'm the one who mostly works from home and I'm like an actor who doesn't leave the house very often. Uh, and so I am going to be the one who has to look after the dog. Uh, no, no. We'll walk them. We'll this. No, they don't. So now Bunbury's your best friend.

I said I'm going to, I get to name him because I know I'm going to be the one who's going to have to take care of him. I'm going to be the one shouting his name. Exactly. Yeah. So his name is Bunbury. He also answers to buns or bun bun or bunaroo. That's cool. That's tickets to bunaroo.

Or bun to the bun. How they do away from. Yeah. Does he get that? Yeah, he does. He does. Oh, Dave, what's going on with you, man? Guys, just went on a whirlwind trip.

Yeah. With my wife. We, for the first time. Romantic getaway. In the 23 and a half months that I've been a father, we left the child alone. In the house. Yeah. While the dog was here.

Abby's parents were visiting, and so they were like, we want to take care of your kid. Get out of town. Yeah. And we were like, get out of town. And then half an hour later, that resolved itself. Yeah. And they were like, what kind of jeans did you get? And I said, guess.

Okay, Levi's. What? What? What? And then I eat an apple. And that's the sketch. Yeah. And then I was like, I'm listening to a band.

The who? Well, why are you asking? So our whole goal was to go. Abby is now pregnant and doesn't want to walk around anywhere. So we didn't want to go anywhere nature-y or anywhere with walking. You must be pregnant. So we took a three-day trip to Los Angeles. And she just wanted to stay in a nice hotel and go to nice dinners.

And so we did that. Rented a car. When I got to the car rental place, I could see the people in front of me in line got upsold. Oh, yeah. Like they were all tattooed. And the guy. Like you need a muscle car car The guy behind the counter Was like

Do you want an Impala And the girl went Yes I do And So I got up to the front And the woman was like Hmm How would you feel about

Maybe taking out A Mercedes SLK And I was like Nope Sounds expensive I only have enough insurance maybe taking out a Mercedes SLK. Ooh. And I was like, nope. Sounds expensive. I only have enough insurance to ruin a bad car. And then she switched gears

and she said, how about a Mustang? And I was like, nope. I think they maybe teach them, like, try to read the person. Right.

And guess what kind of car. To be fair, you're unreadable. Yeah, I know. Yeah. What if they said a Subaru? Then would you have been like, oh, yeah. Is it more expensive?

I want the cheap one. Yeah. I ended up with a Chevy Cruze. Yeah. I feel like that's what I got last time I rented a car. Chevy Cruze. Small. Small. And we stayed at a funky hotel downtown that had parties.

It was so annoying. What do you mean, had parties in the lobby? No, I had parties on the rooftop deck, the rooftop pool. But the problem is you get there, you come back from dinner at 9 o'clock at night, and everyone's car is arriving, and you can't drop your car off. Oh, yeah. The parking lot is just full of people trying to get drunk. Was the whole hotel allowed to go to these parties, or these were private parties? No, there were times when they were private.

Oh, that's true. Times when they were private. Oh, that's... Yeah, so we stayed there for three days, and we only finally got to see the pool on the last day, just as we were leaving. Take a photo of it. And they had, like, these weird sort of cabana pods. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Where you can, you know, sit with three or four people. And the mattresses were waterbeds. Ooh. So that was fun. That's a pretty fun hotel, all in all. I mean, I've never, I don't know that I've ever gone to a party that the hotel was throwing. But did you pick, like, did you pick it because you were young and kidless and going to go to a party hotel?

No, no, no, no. Or were you both annoyed? Because I know you were young and kidless and going to go to a party hotel. No, no, no. Or were you both annoyed? Because I know you were annoyed. I was annoyed, but it was, it wasn't annoying. Like, we knew what we were getting into, but we didn't know. We didn't expect to go to parties, but we knew, hey, it's a cool place.

Hey, downtown is very happening right now in Los Angeles. Unless you, they account for the fact that everyone wants to party at night, but then they don't serve breakfast after 1030 anywhere. Oh, really? Yeah. So it has McDonald's rules through downtown. Yeah.

So you got to have some sort of system. One morning we showed up at like 1045 for breakfast at this place and they were like, Oh, we just stopped serving breakfast. Would you like to have a look at our lunch menu? And we sat down and we're like, okay, well maybe we'll have a light lunch. And it was all just like fettuccine Alfreda. That is my perfect breakfast.

Um, and while I was there, I, uh, I was a guest on Jimmy Pardo's Never Not Funny podcast. Nice. I was a guest on Jordan, Jesse Go. Wow.

And all in a day. Yeah. This doesn't sound relaxing. No. Well, no, it was fun. Yeah. We saw celebrities. Yeah.

Who'd you see? We saw. Nicki Minaj. We saw Kendall Jenner or the other one. Yeah. Crystal. Kendall Jenner. Who's that?

She's a young. She's a half sister of the Kardashians? Yeah. Kendall Jenner. Who's that? She's a young, she's a half sister of the Kardashians. Oh, yes. Right. The model. And then we went out for drinks

with past guest Gabe Liedman and Daniel Zamparelli. Yeah. And where we were drinking, movie star Ed Helms was there.

Ooh. From the vacation movie. Yeah. So it was fun. We had a. Ooh. From the vacation movie. Yeah. So it was fun. We had a fun time. That does sound fun. We ate some fun dinners.

How fun. How fun were these dinners, Dave? They were pretty fun. Sparklers. We did our first Uber. Oh, yeah. Have you Ubered? Did you do the Uber pool or just the regular Uber?

Uber X. Katie Allen Humphries was in New York and discovered the Uber pool. It has, I won't pitch it because it's hers, but has a great TV show idea involving Uber pools. I don't know. We'll have to have her on the show. Yeah. What is Uber pool? Like a carpool?

Yeah. It seems annoying because other people can just jump in your car. pool it's a carpool yeah it seems annoying because other people can just jump in your car she you know you wouldn't think it because katie's not like you're the most hey uh strange person that i haven't met let me just chat you up but apparently in uber pools she is oh yeah and you can get a lot of good advice yeah i would if you need advice on your life in an uber pool i don't you wouldn't like that you wouldn't like that gram in an uber pool i don't you wouldn't like that you wouldn't like that gram i wouldn't like that i don't need that i don't need advice from people who are in the same uber pool as me like what do you do who do you need advice from somebody who's

got their own car the driver but he also chimed in so yeah do you have have you done an uber yeah have you done an uber i have not i am uber? I have not. I'm Uber-less. It is. Next time, I'm not renting a car at all. You're just going to Uber. Because it's unbelievably cheap. Yeah. Like, you can see why taxi drivers hate the idea. Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're in the car for 40 minutes, and you spend $13. Yeah, it's, I think in a place like Los Angeles, it's like, that was a... But if Uber drivers think that this is the way it's going to be, they don't know that they're going to be replaced by automatic cars. Oh, you can tell because they're following an automated map. Oh, is that right? Like they've got Waze or Google Maps giving them directions. They're just a vessel that is translating that into turns.

Yeah. Right, giving them directions. They're just a vessel that is translating that into turns. Yeah, that's the whole, as far as what I understand, is the guy who created Uber is the number one, or one of the number one investors in driverless cars, right? So this is just a step. That scares me. The driverless car thing scares me. You know what's weird is there's this, oh, somebody sent me this. Can I sit in the driver's seat, though?

I'm always picturing a robot there. Just like a dummy sitting there? Yeah. I'm like, no, you can't sit there. You might accidentally hit the brake. When you say robot, could it be a Roomba? Sure. Yeah.

It could be a giant Roomba. It doesn't have to be giant. It could be a small Roomba. It couldn't reach the pedals. Well, it would definitely keep the car tidy. But they have to program into these driverless cars a different, like, if a car is going to hit either A or B, it has to know which one to hit. Oh, it has to make a decision on which would be the least impact. Yeah, yeah. So there's like thousands and thousands and thousands of these scenarios where it's like car full of five people or one person standing on the street.

And, you know, that type of. Right. And it has to be able to do that map for every possible. Car full of five murderers or one good Samaritan on their way to commit their first murder see so do you because those murders are already done they're not good people for sure but that one could prevent a murder see and the car has to know it's like the board game scruples on wheels yeah yeah and the whole time you're asking car stupid questions. Make it colder in your car.

And car's like, I'm trying to decide. I'm trying to save your life here. Someone in my family once got scruples for Christmas. And they were so mad because they wanted balderdash. And then you have to pretend you like it. Yeah, that's the one. That's the one I like. I like it because it's somebody in your family.

It was you. I don't remember who it was. I want to say a sibling or a cousin. It was a big scandal that Christmas. No, no. It was something we all whispered about. Mom doesn't know the difference between vulnerable and scruple. But I think it's really telling if somebody gives you the game Scruples. Yeah, exactly.

Isn't that like saying, I don't think you have any. Yeah. You've got to learn some Scruple. Yeah. Whereas if they give you Balderdash, they're like, you're a fucking liar. Yeah. Let's make up some, what is it? Definitions to words?

Is that what Balderdash is? I don't know. I hate board games. You hate all board games? Scruples would give you scenarios? Yeah. I don't. Yeah. I don't know. I hate board games. You hate all board games? Scruples would give you scenarios? Yeah. I don't think I've ever played Scruples. No, me neither.

No one played it. I did, and my mom got really mad, and she just wouldn't play because I'm too honest. I let my car make those decisions for sure. Even though it's not an automatic driving one, I let my car make all the decisions. I just take my hands off the wheel. If you go left, we're eating Chinese. If you go right, we're going home. We're playing Valderdej.

So, yeah, fun little trip. That is a fun trip. That is fun. And it was warm and sunny and beautiful. And you could eat deep fried avocados. Oh, we didn't, though. I didn't know such a thing. Don't insult me.

I didn't know you were going. I would have told you. You can get deep fried avocados here. I also had, yeah, you can't, though. I didn't know such a thing. Because you didn't consult me. I didn't know you were going. They have that here. I would have told you. You can get deep fried avocados here. I also have, yeah, you can get grilled avocado. Have you had that? Yum, yum, yum. Anything avocado. Yeah.

What could go wrong with the avocado? I don't know. It's too much. You can have too much. Oh, I, do you, come on. You think you have to tell me you can have too much avocado? Do you eat too many avocados? Oh, my God.

What's your daily intake? I would eat nothing but avocado. It's the good fat. I know, but that's the word. That's what gets you is you always think it's a good fat, but you know, three and a half avocados in,

you're thinking. Three and a half avocados. No, I've never eaten three and a half avocados. One time I tried to eat two. What are you, cool hand Luke? And it was,

it was insane. Yeah. I thought I was losing my mind. Oh, I've had two. Back to like right in the same serving? Sometimes if I'm making avocado toast, I don't have enough to cover the toast with one. Oh, yeah. I always say, because my brain still does Weight Watchers from when I did Weight Watchers,

a quarter of an avocado is only like three points, I think. And so I was like, I'll just have a quarter of an avocado. And I go, well, this won't do. I'm not on Weight Watchers anymore. And then two avocados later. Yeah. It's the good fat. You're fine.

It's a good fat. Yeah. You know those people that do half an avocado and they leave the pit in under some misguided belief that that's an acceptable thing to do? Oh, no. We do that. We do that. If you immediately put it in the fridge, then you just got to take that kind of layer off the top. No, I think if you're going to crack open an avocado, you finish that avocado.

Every morning, Margo gets a quarter avocado. And you should be eating three quarters of an avocado. Dave, it's a good fact. The pit helps. Oh, I know the pit helps. But just leaving an avocado in the fridge? No, thanks. No thanks.

But that's like people who have clips, you know, chip bag clips. Oh, yeah. Sometimes you don't go through an entire jumbo bag of chips all by yourself. Shut up, Graham. Stop judging me. I'm not. I'm judging with you. I feel like you are.

I'm not judging at you. I'm judging with you. Chips, it's a good fat. And that is also avocado. It's the fun fat. If you make guacamole, that's easily seven, eight avocados

that you can eat in a city. Sign me up, Dave. Sign me up. A bathtub of it? Yeah, a bathtub of avocado. I was making a face mask of avocado. You put it in your hair, you put it in your face, you put it in your mouth.

Let's stop there, guys. Graham, what's going on with you? This same weekend, where you had a fun, relaxing getaway, non-stop LA parties, I went to Winnipeg, Manitoba for the second annual Oddblock Festival. Only two years of this. I haven't heard of this. It sounds super fun. Yeah, it was fun. It all happens on this one street.

So there's... Like a strange street? I don't... Oh, yeah. I get you. I'm with you now. I was lost. I was thinking stranger things, and I was like, I'm not...

Oh, yes. But there's the park theater, which is kind of where most of the things happen. But then there's, they have shows in basically all the stores that are on that street. So there's, like, shows in this, like, nerd Magic the Gathering shop. Uh-huh. And a show in the pizzeria, and a show at the Mexican place. And so, like, every storefront on the street had shows. So it was fun.

Sounds like quite an odd block. But one day, like the first day we were there, I was talking to somebody local and they were talking about some store in the mall that was next to the hotel we were staying. And they were like, oh, staying and they're like oh yeah they got like uh they got panties on sale for a dollar and i was like oh man what is this mall you're talking about that's got panties and it was basically a three-story version of kingsgate mall oh wow yeah yeah yeah it was i was like i'm going there tomorrow and uh myself How many panties did you buy? Can we not? I wanted to buy so many panties

Why are we saying this word? We must The more you cringe the more I must say panties I love the word panties I know other people don't like the word panties

but I really like the word panties And it's hard to describe the little damn I'll take them as they come Dave

Anyways I didn't find the store that was selling the women's briefs um but man this mall oh man what's it got it's got stores all names that you've never heard of uh-huh zangles and britches zangles sounds like an SNL sketch store, doesn't it? Yeah, it was just... And then the highlight was this fountain. It was so... It looked like... You found a dead body?

Well, there was no... It wasn't fountaining. It was just a thing of water with pipes. So it just looked like it was a decommissioned fountain. You had to use your imagination. And I was with guest chris lock and i was like look at this and this is the saddest goddamn fountain you've ever seen in your life and then it just made one angry burst of like fire hose level burst of water that nearly hit the ceiling and then stopped and everything was misty like it was just there was mist in the air because of this.

And it was like it hurt us. I was going to say it's a fountain that runs on your derision. Yeah. Like as soon as we said how much it sucked, it really kicked into high gear and just like shot this one blast and then was done. It was like a comedian. It was like a comedian fountain. It was like, oh, you think I suck? I'm going to keep doing this for years.

Yeah, it was a... Yeah, exactly. And the food court, I've never seen this before. Every... Not restaurant. What would you call it? A vendor? Kiosk?

Kiosk, I guess. I don't know. They all had their cash registers surrounded by like a plexiglass box so nobody shoots them and no so that nobody steals yeah the whole cash register oh i was like but it's not for the safety of the employee it's that they literally were people were stealing the entire cash register. Are you walking away from your register that often that that's possible? In your tiny vendor kiosk. Yeah, your Joey's only kiosk. I guess if you're the only person working in,

you've got to go cook stuff in the back and then come and run the table. Go to the bathroom and the food. Dave, I don't know. The Kingsgate Mall here, they only have one food vendor yeah formerly an orange julius then orange orange now something else is this something jacob's hot dogs or something yeah but it also has a lobster roll which i'm very curious about okay i went back and sort of skimmed through to make sure that i wasn't an idiot who just told the same story as this. Oh, thank you.

When I was on the show again, I went back and listened to the last episode and you were talking about the McLobster. Oh, yeah. I feel like you are obsessed with lobster sandwiches. I am obsessed with lobster. Although, would you eat this lobster roll in the mall? Yes. Would you eat it on a boat? Would you eat this lobster roll in the mall yes okay would you eat it on a boat would you eat it with a paw i know it's like would you eat it in a shawl yeah um so yeah they got to see like what if there was a huge triple decker yeah oh what if kingsgate mall suddenly got even more

exciting what's the name of this mall panty mall uh it was called the panty mall portage place panty mall uh it was yeah it was wild and even when i said i was gonna go people are like yeah man i don't know like get ready like prepare yourself because it's pretty crazy and i was like how crazy is a mall pretty crazy oh the security guards also had bulletproof vests oh so this was like so wait the the tells didn't need bulletproofing but the security guards did yeah yeah the security guards throw themselves in front of the tells if you're gonna that's a lot yeah and security guards cost a lot per hour now winnipeg is colder than mars yeah more sometimes more racist most racist city in the world wow that

was one magazine said so okay and trust me i've been to plenty of cities that are more racist well when i retire i want to retire to somewhere like a small town that's so racist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somewhere where my kids can learn racism. Racism. Yeah. So I don't have to teach them. Yeah. While I'm driving in my Gran Torino. A driverless Gran Torino?

Yeah, my driverless Gran Torino. Gran Torino, what should I do now? Be racist. Hire the white guy. I really like Grand Torino with the smart talking car. Smart talking racist car. That's why he didn't want his

neighbors to ever touch it. It's a smart car. We're talking racist car. That's why he didn't want his neighbors to ever touch it. It's a smart car. I made a wish a long time ago. We're talking Gran Torino. I made a wish in a shitty fountain. My penny got blasted through the roof of the mall. And then the next morning, this racist car. This racist Gran Torino.

Wake up. No, no, wait, that's him. Just the voice of a car. He's waking up the car. Now, wake up car. Oh boy, well, do we want to move on to overheards? Yeah. Gran Torino.

Doesn't he sing the outro? He sings a Gran Torino doesn't he sing the outro he sings the Gran Torino song hi are you a fan of Star Trek The Next Generation well that's weird because it's a corny show

but my friends Ben Harrison and Adam Pranica do a lovely podcast about it it's called The Greatest Generation and it's on

MaximumFun.org. I thought that this podcast was a bad idea, but I was wrong. Please listen to The Greatest Generation on MaximumFun.org. Attention, you're up. This fall, Maximum Fun is bringing a bunch of your favorite podcasters to London.

Catch Judge John Hodgman, International Waters, and Bullseye, all recording live episodes at the London Podcast Festival. We'll have fan meetups and we'll be joined on stage by a glittering array of celebrity guests. The London Podcast Festival runs September 22nd through 26th, and you can buy your tickets right now. Just go to MaximumFun.org. Overheard. Overheard.

A segment in which we hear the things out there in the world and we share them here so that we all may partake in the bounty. And we always like to start with the guest. And Morgan, that's for sure you. For sure. For sure. Okay, wait. I have to, I forgot you were going to start with me. It's okay.

Everybody's got to get to the thing on the phone, and it's fine. It's fine. Look, these things happen in time. Okay. Yeah, just keep doing that. happen in time. Okay.

Yeah, just keep doing that. So, my wife and my son and I went to the Culture Club concert. Oh, fun. At the PNE. When was this? This was just this past Sunday. It was whatever. Yeah, just recently.

Oh, wow. So, that's. Who are your favorite members of Culture Club? You know what's funny, though, is that my wife, now, you, your listeners don't, but you guys know my wife. So this will be entertaining to you to know that. Well, you can tell from this. As a teenager, half of her room was covered in metal posters. Yeah.

Like just pictures of different types of metal. Just aluminum. Did she ever just put up tinfoil? Yeah. This is my favorite metal poster. You're a monkey. You're a monkey. You are. Speaking of which, I'm going to see the monkeys on Sunday.

Oh, cool. Oh, very cool. Well, the two monkeys, but that's enough for me. That's enough jumping on the bed. Wait, is Nesmith not going? No, he's not. But he's going to show up for the final. Yeah, he wasesmith not going? No, he's not. But he's going to show up for the final.

Yeah, he was doing something. They're going up there. Where is that? Wherever their final show is. I've got to find out. I'd be there for that. I'd be there. What if it was here?

Oh my God, that would be amazing. Was he going to wear the hat? No, the hat's retired. The hat will not come out of retirement. The hat's got its own manager. They travel around the country. So yeah, you were saying about your wife. Peter T not come out of retirement. That's got its own manager. They travel around the country. So, yeah, you were saying about your wife.

But Peter Tork is my favorite monkey. Sure. He's a luthier. Oh, so is it just Peter Tork and Mickey Dolenz? Because Davey passed away. Yeah, well, you have very little option there. Mickey Dolenz isn't anyone's favorite. Oh, come on.

His book was good. I think he's the most talented. Do you think? I think Naismith was. Naismith, Naismith. Well, Naismith, but not necessarily in this, I think he's the most talented, period,

but not necessarily as a monkey. Oh, as a monkey. He's not the most talented monkey. Yeah, I feel like Mickey Dolan's brought a lot to the whole monkey experience. Worst voice, though, wouldn't you say? No, I would not. Well, that's the worst voice.

I would disagree. So what was the other half of her? Half was metal posters, and half was Boy George posters. Oh, yeah. She was very obsessed with Boy George. In his gender-bending ways. If she was another generation younger, she would have just loved Marilyn Manson.

That would have, that would have ticked all the boxes. That's right. Just the entire room. She wouldn't have had to separate it like that. Yeah. Anyhow. Did she separate it?

Like I love Lucy. Right. Just a tape, a tape line going from the ceiling to the wall, to the floor, to the ceiling. Don't you cross this line, boy,

George. You stay on your side. You got to let her explain it to you. But she knew. She was like, I want to say James Moss. Oh, Tony Moss this line, boy George. You stay on your side and you gotta let But she knew. She was like, I want to say James Moss or Tony Moss. I don't know.

Somebody Moss. She was like, so and so Moss is still playing with him. And I was like, I don't know. Oh, wow. She knew the band members'

names and everything. Did they do any boy George solo hits? The Crying Game is the only one I can name. Yeah, I don't know. I missed a lot of it because there was

an altercation that I was involved in. But that's another story. But anyways, so at one point at the Culture Club concert, I went to go and get some drinks. And I was standing in line. And these guys behind me, the merch booth was right beside the booze booth. And the one guy said to his friend, well... Get drunk enough to buy a t-shirt.

Well, that was their joke. It was like,, get drunk enough to buy a t-shirt. Well, that was their joke was like, don't you want to buy a t-shirt? And the guy said, uh, the shirts look like they're from 30 years ago. Boy, George looks like he's 20 years old.

And then the other guy was like, oh really? You want a t-shirt with like a 50-year-old dude on it? Which I think, you know, is fair. Although, in his defense, Boyd Orange looks like he's, you know, well, 30. Oh, he looks great. He looks amazing. He looks better than he has in years.

He seems happy. How good were your seats? Well, it was a P&E amphitheater, so it was outdoors. And we didn't get the, like, we didn't pay the extra for the seats. We were just in the dancing around part. Right, the culture club fan club. But I think the closer you get, the older he looks. No, because they had him up on the screen.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, they had video assist? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? And our son sat on the ground in the middle of all the dancing people playing Minecraft. Right, of course. Yeah, I only know, do I know more?

Karma Chameleon. No, yeah. Karma Chameleon. Do you really want her? I'd tumble for you. Oh, yeah. Yep. And is that it?

That might be all the ones I know. Oh. I was actually amazed at how the lyrics that are in my brain, right, that I haven't listened to since I was a teenager, but they started singing and I sang along with every single word. And it was kind of weird. It was like, why is that in there? I know all the lyrics.

When the Crying Game came out, there was a wave of 80s acts who put out moody 90s songs. Oh, yeah? Who else? You would have moody 90s songs. Oh, yeah? Who else? You would have had Duran Duran. Oh, sure. Coming Undone. Yeah.

You would have had NXS doing something around that time. Elegantly Wasted? No, that was later. Duran Duran was playing in Vancouver on the same night as Culture Club. Oh, wow. Oh, my goodness. The moody early 90s. They just went, the 40-somethings need something to

do on sunday i remember when boy george was on he was a guest star on the a team he teamed up with the a team yeah that's the best i love the story i just read an article uh when he was one of the judges on the voice in the uk okay and. And they were talking about, you know, greats that they'd worked with and whoever the other judge said, you know, well, I recorded with Prince and boy, George said, that's nothing.

I slept with Prince. And apparently it was, they had to stop filming. The entire audience just completely went apeshit and they had to shut everything down. And then we came back from commercial. And he was like, I didn't really sleep with Prince. I just thought.

But I think he did. He, you know. Prince. I believe it. You got to see that episode where Boy George helps out the ATV. Oh my God. I want to do nothing more now. Because he sings Karma Chameleon at the end for a real rowdy bunch of cowboys.

And they all love it. Of course they do. And Mr. T dances to it. It's great. It's great. Oh my God. Is it on the YouTube? Yeah, you can find it.

Absolutely. Speaking of which, when I was doing some sort of backstory research for my show Give It Up on my own life, I found all these episodes of 21 Jump Street. I found that one with my big hair and Neon Rider, which was my very first gig. Never give up

on a whole new song. Good call, Dave. That's amazing, Dave. Because I... Do I even remember three words of it? No, but do you remember the theme song at all?

Yeah. I was on, I think I did five episodes, five or six episodes of that show. Same character? I feel like there's a... What's it? didn't have a horse in it i had a lot of horse yeah they went to a ranch they took trouble kids have a ranch yeah it's true it's a therapist runs a ranch for troubled teens who turn their lives around by riding horses by riding horses and doing trust falls in a barn. Onto hay?

No, that's not trusting. Trust other people, not hay. Trust agriculture? Trust hay. I guess I surmised that that was the plot. I've never seen an episode. I don't. Well, it's on YouTube.

How do you know a theme song you've never seen an episode? We maybe have mentioned it before and I put it in a blog recap. Okay. It just. Yeah, no, I was like, I i was like there's gonna be a theme song and i looked it up and then i i remembered when i heard it what was the name of the star winston record like uh canadian yes he just passed away a few years ago sort of a michael landon looking exactly yeah yeah was there there was also i feel like that was a show that came on after a show that i used to oh really and that's why i know the theme song because it would and then there was another one about as soon as you heard it you like time to change what's this oh it's that there was one

about a news uh yeah that would come on after tNT which was the one where Mr. T was a lawyer what? who was the other T? some lady named Turner have you never seen TNT? no! I've never talked to a TNT is that the one where the detective

becomes a dog? yeah Mr. T's like, he plays a guy who gets out of jail and has studied law in prison and then he helps. It was a Canadian show. Oh, really?

Yeah. Mr. T was on a Canadian made show. And yeah, it was like part of this Canadian blog. It would be TNT followed by ENG. And ENG was when I switched channels or something.

I just remember growing up and maybe, and maybe nothing has changed, but there was nothing worse than a Canadian drama coming on. Yeah. Like, oh, boy, Traders is on. No, no, Street Legal. Yeah. But Neon Rider was one that I, like, only, you know, 10 years ago or something, friends in the States would be like,

oh, yeah, we all watched that. Oh, really? Well, some folks that were, you know, 10 years ago or something, friends in the States would be like, oh, yeah, we all watch that. Oh, really? Some folks that were, you know, in Detroit would kind of get the Canadian signal across the border. But then it was a weird, like how Degrassi was like a cult hit in other places. So people know Neon Rider. And also Neon Rider didn't predict that it would sell anywhere besides Canada. And which is good for actors because they didn't put that under a contract. So I still get residual checks from overseas sales of Neon Rider.

Oh, nice. Yeah. That's cool. Which is pretty great. Well, don't give it up. Yeah, don't give it up. Well, that was a very, very long time ago. I did one episode with...

Never give up on a new show. There you go. I didn't make that connection for the show. Maybe I need to put that in there. Ben Johnson was on an episode. He raced horses. Did he race a horse? Yes.

As a jockey or as a competitor? No. It was like, here's the fence. Here's a bunch of horses. Here's Ben Johnson. And they raced. Ben Johnson, for people who don't know, is a disgraced Canadian sprinter. Well, he was only disgraced until he raced that horse.

And then he got back on the world stage. And now he competes in equestrian events. He now does. He's a dressage. He dances. He competes in dance against a horse. You should look it up on YouTube, though, because he was a guest. Canada always meddles in your songs.

Because we have one guy who's just a human being dancing. And it's so good at just, like, knowing the rhythm. Because he's a human. And horses have to learn it. But humans got it. But he does the same moves. Anyways. Dave, do you have one over um yeah oh boy uh this is just uh when i was in los angeles on that rooftop uh patio rooftop

pool deck there was also a yoga class going on outside oh boy this hotel's doing everything. Oh, yeah. It's an activity place. Oh, it's also got like four, like you can play ping pong on at least three different floors. Oh, cool. Did you? Oh, no, that doesn't make any sense. I was going to ask if you went to Susan Sarandon's ping pong club. I think it might be. That's in New York, isn't it? I think it might be affiliated.

Why wouldn't it be? Huh? Yeah. Maybe she has one in LA. No, I don't know. I'm not very up affiliated. Why wouldn't it be? Huh? Yeah. Maybe she has one in LA. No, I don't know. I'm not very up on ping pong. Did you play?

No. You played some pong? No. Did you do some pinging? No. I've never been good at it. No, me neither.

Never even, never even had fun being bad at it. I wasn't even good enough to do rally for serve. Like, it won and then it would just go off the table. Yeah, it's a lot of chasing. You're out. Yeah.

And a hand-eye coordination, which I don't have. But it's the same as tennis. You got to play with somebody who's better than you so that you can enjoy it. It's not fun for them, but it's fun for you. Mm-hmm.

So I was on this pool deck. Oh, yeah. I had a yoga class going on. I'm hanging out. we're relaxing on a uh um it's like 10 in the morning relaxing on that water bed oh yeah um trying to think about would this be fun for sleeping or what kinds of sex what kind of sex would you have to do on this? Not all kinds. Yeah, I know. That's, yeah. Dolphin style. And, but maybe easier. Maybe the momentum.

Yeah, that's true. Maybe you get to, maybe you get to rest a bit as the water does some work for you. And I just heard the yoga instructor who was amplified. She had a microphone. And she said, I want you to find a juicy, juicy bridge pose. Do you find it

or you do it? Well, you gotta get to the juicy spot. Oh, yeah. You can do it, but finding the juice where it's the most juicy. Yeah.

C'est juicy. Yeah. C'est juicy. Yeah. I don't know if I would, if I was in a hotel and they were like, yoga at 10 o'clock. No. What am I saying? I know I wouldn't. Of course you wouldn't. Have you found a juicy spot?

No, I've never done anything. You've done yoga. I've done yoga, but I've never found anything remote. You have? Yeah. Like at home with a DVD? No, no. I've done yoga But I've never found Anything remote You have? Yeah Like at home With a DVD? No no

I've gone to yoga classes Graham and I did a class Together once At Max Fun Con God that's beautiful I missed it I'm sorry I got so sunburned

Yeah I hurt my neck Trying to stand on my head That sounds too offensive Yeah You were trying to show off The guy was too But he was too encouraging.

He was like, you can do it. And I was like, okay. Teacher's pet. Man, I got singled out at one that I did. I remember I was trying to get to know a girl that I like. So I went to this yoga class. And I got singled out as the worst guy in the class. Like every time I had to like

be corrected. Oh, it's hard to hit up Did they give you a nickname like bitch? Yeah, they called me bitch. I

They kept throwing pennies at me. Throwing paint on you. Yeah, I don't know what it meant. Find a juicy bridge pose, bitch. Everybody look a bitch.

Look at those regular let's all ride them like Ben Johnson. What? everybody look a bitch look at what he's a regular let's all ride him like ben jones do you have an overheard uh well mine's kind of a weird overseen uh i can dig it i've never i've never done this before i don't know why i haven't but i uh you know at like a grocery store sometimes they have a like a deli where they make sandwiches. Like they don't just have, they have all the things like macaroni salad, but they're also like, we make sandwiches. Yeah.

So I was like, I'm going to get a sandwich at this place. And the two ladies, maybe they're great at deli work, but their sandwich making ability. There are no artists. Oh, no. And they don't. It was just like everything was a struggle. Just saying what kind of bread I wanted, and then they would come back. We don't have that.

Why did you tell me that was one of the options? And the lady who was making my sandwich did a thing that when she was doing it, I was like, this is so bizarre. But then after, I was like this is so bizarre but then after i was like oh this makes sense if i was this was the first time ever i was making a sandwich is she asked me what vegetables i wanted and then she took one tiny piece of each vegetable and put it on the bread to remind her later what vegetables and mean later, we're talking 25 seconds. And you're not going anywhere. No.

I could have totally reminded her, but she put like one tiny pickle, one tiny bit of tomato, one bit of lettuce, all at late, just to remind. It was so weird. But it worked.

And I ate that sandwich. And you know what? It was fucking delicious. What grocery store? Safeway. But it worked. And I ate that sandwich. And you know what? It was fucking delicious. What grocery store? Safeway. Oh. Yeah. Safeway right in the front area there where I sat down, ate a sandwich.

It's better than. Which one? Commercial? Arbutus. Oh, la la. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, look at him. Oh, wow.

I get around. Yeah. We get sandwiches on my TV show, Don't Mean to Brag. It's one of the perks. That's pretty good. Sandwiches. And they come from Whole Foods. And yeah, I get this vegan banh mi that is just makes you want to punch somebody.

It's so good. So I can relate to a good sandwich. Yeah. We've all had a good sandwich. No, you haven't. Have you had the vegan banh mi from Whole Foods? No. Then don't talk to me.

You don't know. Well, it's because I'm not vegan. Well, you don't have to be vegan to eat it. Well, no, but I get mine sprayed with blood. That is a weird thing that Dave does. It would still probably be good. Yeah, he will not eat a sandwich. I've seen him until blood has been sprayed all over it.

My friend told me when I was in LA that I should go get beef dip, the original beef dip place. Oh, sure, yeah. With the au jus. Yeah, it's just, it's, I don't mind a beef dip, but I couldn't, we wouldn't make time for that. To go have the original beef dip. Yeah, let's go buy a wet sandwich. Yeah, it's also like. We traveled all this way to dip a sandwich in something.

When somebody told me what a Philly cheesesteak actually was, then I didn't want to ever try it. Is it a Cheez Whiz? Yeah, it's just Cheez Whiz on like a chopped kind of steak. Oh, like the original is actually Che Cheese Whiz? Yeah, it's just Cheese Whiz on like a chopped kind of steak. Oh, like the original is actually Cheese Whiz? Yeah, yeah. Oh, see, I didn't know that. And so like if you ever eat

like at a, yeah, if you eat a fancy place and it's like Philly Cheese Steak, that's not what it actually is. That's not a real. It's our take on it. Yeah, and their take on it is good. Do you know you can't patent food?

Is that right? Like a recipe. Ah, really? So anyone can do a, that's why there's like a rip off Big Macs at other restaurants. Oh, and you can't sue anybody for using your recipe. Yeah, and you can't use the same name or branding. But you can keep it secret, theoretically. Oh, yeah, you can keep your recipe secret.

But you can't copyright it so that somebody can't. I heard the KFC... I was going to say, speaking of which, not anymore secret spices. I know. 11 spices, 13... How many spices? 11 herbs. Herbs and spices.

And spices. And... Is it really 11? Did they find in the real recipe? Yeah. Or is that what they were lying about? It was 11 in the recipe that they showed that was in the, what was it? It was in the grandson's something or other?

Yeah. Like on the back of a note. It was in a journal or something. Yeah. In his letter to Marilyn Manson. I hate my grandfather. Chicken murderer. It was on his live journal.

I hate my grandfather, chicken murderer. It's on his live journal. Here's weird. If we're together, Marilyn Manson, I will give you this resume. Now, Marilyn, I understand you're trying to S your OD. If you want to put spices on it, herbs too. Here's a recipe I think you might enjoy. If you want to eat those leftover ribs you got. Yeah, pretty good um now we also have overheards sent in to us from people around the

world if you want to send in overheards to us send them in to spy at maximal fun are there still uh rumors about people or like famous celebrity rumors Trying to S their own D by having ribs removed. I'm sure we've talked about this a zillion times. No, but I... I don't think you can talk about it enough. I don't think we've talked about new ones. Yeah, because there were tons back in the day. Yeah.

Paul is dead. S your own D. I feel like the... And it was perpetrated mostly by them was when the white stripes came around that they were like are they brother and sister are they husband wife did they date right and they did their best to kind of like but screw around with that but i don't i don't know if there's any like i feel like there's got to be one about Jaden Smith, right? No! Because he's been in this spotlight for a while. Which is it?

Is one of the Smith boys the adorable boy with the big hair in the get-down? Have you been watching the get-down? Oh, no. No, I haven't watched it. Guys, you've got to watch the get-down. I don't know. I've got other things to do. No, you do not.

I've got to go to the sandwich place. Oh, my God, no. The Get Down? I don't know. It's that guy, isn't it? Baz Luhrmann. Yeah. Oh, thumbs down.

Come on. Romeo plus Juliet? Yeah, but it's not. Go fuck plus yourself. No, but it's like the birth of hip hop, but it's also... As envisioned through the visionary eyes of Baz Luhrmann. It's not that Baz Luhrmann-y. There are moments, for sure, when I was watching the pilot,

and I was like, why is this so long? Why is everything neon? Oh, right, Baz Luhrmann. Oh, it's a show? It's like a miniseries. It's a TV series. Oh, Oh, it's a show? It's like a miniseries. It's a TV series. Oh, I thought it was a movie. It's on the Netflix.

No. It's the Get Down. Oh, I got to get it. I got to get it. Okay, yeah. If Graham's going to watch it, I'll watch it. You should totally watch it. Shallons, the DJ, would call the conductor,

because Shallons Fantastics are back. Wicker, wicker, wicker. Is that what you say to Bunbury? No, he has his own songs. Trust me, you'll be like, oh, that was cute when you watch

the final episode. Absolutely. You should watch it. I could just skip ahead to the final episode. No, don't, because it won't make it either. Baz Luhrmann,

the cutest director around. But it's like a kung fu movie meets a disco movie meets a hip hop movie meets a Baz Luhrmann movie. I'm so exhausted even just hearing this pitch.

Graham. I'm exhausted. Take a nap and watch the show. No, it's not. Grand Torino. It's not Super Moulin Rouge. Trust me.

All right. And then you will also after the last episode have that in your head. We'll see. We'll see what's in my head. Like I've had for the last two weeks. I'm not going to see we'll see what's in my head two weeks

i'm not gonna watch okay guys i'm gonna tie you down and make you watch it uh this first one dance around you while you do it you've been warned okay this first overheard comes from nathan b parts unknown nathan betroit nope uh no he's from ottawa sorry ahoy from ottawa he says uh this is while filing through the front door i passed by a conversation between the bus driver and passenger standing beside him the two were chumming it up all i heard was the driver saying oh really i'm into history too well my grandpa was a Nazi. Wow. There's no better reason to get into history than to figure out if your grandparents were something awful.

And then quickly get out of history. Yeah. Get into it and then get out. Ooh. Hmm. Wow. I'm into American history X. Yeah. Yeah.

I, uh, uh, I've never done anything like that. Like the. Genealogy. Yeah. Yeah yeah my good friend laura lee schultz uh musician uh producer music producer who did the songs with me that we were talking about earlier when i sang not in front of people um she's living in belgium right now well trust me it happened uh she's living in belgium right now and so is close to and therefore checking out her family history. Her family is Schultz. And there is evidence that her grandfather was a Nazi. So she is. And it's yeah, it's hard to look into.

People aren't like, oh, yeah, totally true. Come on. Let me tell you all about it. But she wants to know, and it's an important part of her family's backstory and stuff, and she's looking into it. Yeesh. Fascinating. Yeesh.

That's what I say. Well, she's not like, yeah, grandpa, looking into it. She's like, this is, you know. Yeesh. Yeah. Yeah, she just made a different sound. Yeesh. Yeesh.

Oh, boy. My family were all over here by then. So no Nazis over here. He doesn't whistle that day. This next one comes from a gentleman who calls himself Night Carl. We've had Night Carl before. Yeah, I know, but I assume he calls himself that. He's had a whole bunch of overheards, i'm gonna read my favorite one while eating at a little restaurant in a newly gentrified hipster neighborhood in oakland california

i overheard a slightly exasperated female voice from one of the booths behind me say to her table guys i could be having brunch with a guy who runs a microbrewery right now. Let's pep it up a bit. Oh, boy. Oh, night, Carl. That's a good one. Like, yeah, I got options. I bet they did pep it up in a hurry.

Yeah, because, oh, boy, that guy's going to to be That microbrewery guy's really peppy at brunch Yeah Because he's drunk He's always drunk, that's why everybody likes him I'm going to have a flight of different ales Oh, I'm going to have an IPA A UTI Etc

Can you get a flight of different eggs? Yeah, that's what I thought You were going for, like a flight of different things at brunch. No, they bring you different beers. No, I know, but could you have a flight of eggs at brunch? I would love that. I don't eat eggs, but I would like a tofu flight. Are you vegan vegan? I was vegan for many years, and then I am a lapsed vegan.

But I very rarely eat cheese or other things. And so I don't call myself a vegan because I cannot. But I eat a mostly vegan diet. Because eggs, I feel, are gross. No, no. That's something as a meat eater I don't feel too much guilt about. Because you can get them from, you know, free chickens. Sure.

Yeah, they just also... I didn't actually... When I stopped eating eggs, I thought, oh, this is going to be so hard. I love eggs. And I missed them for a very short time. And now I think they're disgusting. I could see... You know what?

I could see seeing eggs is disgusting. Oh, definitely. It's a hurdle. Yeah. We actually tried. They're pretty oozy. Yeah.

There's a big yolky part in the middle. What do you call that? I think the yolk. We tried recently to, to start eating eggs again. And, um, just for my wife has some health stuff and was trying to get more protein.

And I was like, oh, sure, I will support you. Nope. Nope. No eggs for me. Thank you. Fair enough. This last one comes from Tomer in New York City. Night Tomer?

Night Tomer deserves a quiet night. My friend and I were lying down in a sunny, semi-secluded spot in Prospect Park in Brooklyn. Two men drunkenly walk over and sit on benches nearby. One has a Long Island accent, which I don't know what that is. Oh, boy. I'm walking here. It's like Joey Barifuco.

Hey, I'm dating the young girl over here. Is that where Ghostface Killa is from? I don't know. I love our various references. The other one had a strong Russian accent, ponytail, and keeps asking the other to pass the vodka. At one point, they get into an argument about their recent club experience, which the Russian man was not happy with. This is the guy with sunglasses defensively well that's how it is there all the time ponytail no not all the time glasses okay fine then when

do you want to go to a club ponytail 6 a.m he's the perfect time graham. That might have been German. That might have been your voiceover audition. This might be on your reel. He's perfect. It totally came to life. Yeah. I love that he described him as a Russian guy

who was constantly saying pass the vodka. That was his first clue. The ponytail was the second clue. Yeah, true. The tracksuit. Especially if there's two of them. Why is it getting passed so regularly?

Just hold on to that vodka, Rusky. Quiz-fog-arting vodka. Is that a racial slur? Rusky? Rusky? I don't know. Say it to a Russian, see what happens. Yeah.

Well, because we live near a Russian church, and they always, like, all our parking spots disappear on Sunday mornings. And one day, I was like, I couldn't park because of the Rusky. And I was like, oh, am I? Is that? Did I commit a? Just try it. Just walk by and be like, hey, Ruskies.

Happy Sunday, and see what happens. Or say, I'm Ukrainian, don't invade me. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 1-844-SPY-POD1. That's 1-UGH-SPYPOD1. Like these people here. Hey, Dave. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Hey Dave, hey Graham, hey thoughtful, kind guests.

This is Nate from Madison with an overheard. My wife and I were at a nature center at Coleradre State Park just outside of scenic Sheboygan, Wisconsin. And I saw a 13 or 14-old kid talking to somebody at the front desk, and then he runs over to his mom, and he's like,

Mom, and he points at a small auditorium, and he's like, Mom, anybody can give a talk in there. Maybe I should do something. And she smiles and says, Yeah, maybe you can give a talk on how to be a cool teen boy. And then he thinks for a second, he's like, nobody even want to hear that. That's somebody that recognizes in their son that they don't have any specific talents.

You can be a cool teen boy. You can give a speech on how to be a cool teen boy. Number one. Respect your parents. Number two. Make amends. Number three. I was looking through this

pamphlet of programs for kids, because we have one, and there was one for older kids that was how to give a program on learning how to do a TED Talk Junior. The brother.

And I imagine they all start with sex. Now that I've got your attention. Consider the microbe. Here's your next phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham and guests. This is Tesla calling from Vancouver with an overheard.

I was taking the Amtrak back from Portland yesterday and we were going through Seattle. There was tons of graffiti all over the place. Your typical wild style, etc. And then somebody had just tagged, KFC sucks. style, etc. And then somebody had just tagged, KFC sucks. Thanks, bye. Yeah, well, I mean...

Fact. Yeah, I guess so. Especially now that the recipe is out. Oh, boy. Are you telling me you won't go and have delicious Arby's now that it has the 11 herbs and spices on it? Oh, yeah. What's the point of release of the recipe being leaked? Am I supposed to go and get these herbs and spices on it. Oh, yeah. What's the point of release of the recipe being leaked?

Is it supposed to... Am I supposed to go and get these herbs and spices? Yeah, yeah. You're supposed to go... Or is another company going to put out a better, high-quality version? Yeah. They're going to make a better mousetrap. Catch mice, turn them into fried chicken.

There's probably mouse meat in some of those. Definitely. You're not going to get any argument from me. I like the taste of, of Kentucky fried chicken. I feel terrible instantly. Yeah. You don't.

Yeah. It's the taste is fine, but yeah, it's the immediate pain that you're setting yourself up for. The immediate, my face becomes so shiny right away. Yeah. And everything,

everything in the room takes on a real shot. Time slows down. Yeah. Guys everything in the room takes on a real shot. Time slows down. Yeah. Guys, three words. Kentucky Fried Tofu. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Why not?

If you've got the recipe. If you've got the recipe. Yeah. Y'all. Okay, final over. Here we go. Y'all.

That was also delicious. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Joel calling from Nova Scotia. I have an overheard for you. I'm a driving instructor, and I was asking my class what a flashing yellow light meant, and one of my students said, go forth with caution. Go forth, young man.

Yeah, my lady. Go forth. Yeah, I mean, he's not wrong. He's not wrong, but it's very formal. I remember when I first took driving, like, driver's ed, there were so many things

that I had no fucking idea what they meant. Like, they were like, what is this cross? What is it just a cross made? I was like, I still... Was it train tracks?

It was train tracks. Me and Dave were like, train tracks? Yeah. Grahams. You guys... Yeah, we know that and 15-year-old Graham are like train tracks. Yeah. Grahams. You guys, yeah, we know that

and 15-year-old Graham didn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you guys. Well, that does bring us

to the end of this here episode. Now, you've got all sorts of things to plug. You're a busy lady on the go. Oh my goodness.

Yeah. Got my hair, my facial threading. Is that coming up? Is that something people can see every three weeks okay all right so from today uh okay so every two weeks where's that done from here to here uh see that's what i thought or chin that's what i thought i thought it was going to be like kind of a jawline oh we i didn't get't let her go south of the border because I would have been there for days. And your chin's the border. Yes. Yep.

Anyways, yeah. So my new solo show, Give It Up, premieres at the Vancouver Fringe September 8th. Where are you? I am at the Colch in the Historic Theater. Nice. Which is very beautiful. I'm very excited and very grateful about that. And yeah, the Lady Show, you can check us out at ladyshow.com and on Facebook and see where and when we'll be next.

We're sort of in the midst of figuring things out a little bit right now, venue-wise and such. But yeah. Okay. out a little bit right now, venue-wise and such, but yeah. Okay. And Morgan Brayton and other people is on OutTV and there's a new OutTV Go app that's just launched

so if you don't have OutTV, you'll be able to watch it on your smartphone or on your tablet or whatever device you have on your laptop, you know, whatever the kids are doing these days. Sure. And are you out? Do you want us to edit all this white stuff? I think I'm okay with

that. I think I'm okay with people being aware of my business. Your status. Your relationship status. Yeah.

Thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me. And tell us about the threading. Do you really want to hear about the threading? I mean, we could hear about it off air.

Okay, fine. Save something for the next time we're on. Absolutely. We'll bookmark that for next time. We, Dave and I, well, you're appearing on all sorts of podcasts. We're already out for weeks by the time this comes out. So you've heard me mention Jordan, Jessica, and Never Not Funny. Yeah.

And we were bailiffs. Yeah, we've already mentioned. We were bailiffs on Judge John Hodgman. That's right. We have live shows coming up in October. You bet. In October 7th in Edmonton. Yep.

October 8th in Saskatoon. That's right. October 22nd in Victoria. Tickets for all three, we'll put a link up at stoppodcastingyourself.com in the episode recap. And, yeah, I think pretty soon I'll be at the

YYC Festival doing Ring-a-ding-dong dandy. That's the last week of September. I think that's it. That's a good amount of plugs. Episode 5 of our debut album Is out now too Good song Catchy song

Fun Fun And if you like the show Head over to Maximumfun.org Check out the blog recap Pictures and videos Relating to the content

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