Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 446 - Taz VanRassel

Episode Date: October 3, 2016

Improviser Taz VanRassel returns to talk teen drinking, big ice, and Johnny Cash commercials.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 446 of Stop Podcasting Yourself, a show that will be doing live recordings both in Edmonton on October 6th? 7th. 7th, damn it. And Saskatoon, October 8th. What are you doing in these cities on Friday and Saturday?

Yeah, exactly. The two slowest nights of the week for daycares and churches. Sunday's their big day at church. This is the only time we're coming to even these provinces this year. So get it. Yeah, get it. Get some. Go again.

We'll post links to tickets at stoppodcastingyourself.com at the top of this episode's recap. My name's Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is the man that you just heard talking, Mr. Dave Shumka. I guess so. Hi. Hi. Usually you have, like, a fun intro, but... Okay, let me do a fun one. My name is Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is a man who don't take no shit from pests, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, we got a pest control guy coming at noon today.

That's why we had to record early. Yeah, oh, it's so early. Squirrels in the roof. We got mice everywhere. Or maybe just one mouse. Tap dancing, skating around on a pad of butter like those ones in the Muffin movie. Ugh. Ugh.

around on a pat of butter like those ones in the Muffin Movie. And our guest today, a returning guest to the podcast, a member of the, probably the best improv troupe in all of Canada, the Sunday Service, our guest, Mr. Taz Van Rassel. Thank you. Good morning. Good morning.

Thank you for joining us. Happy to be here. Hi, Taz. Hi. Do you want to get to know us? Oh, yeah. Get to know us. Taz is drinking tea. We're drinking coffee. Peppermint tea, two bags.

Two bags. In a pot. Two bags in a pot out of a Moomin cup. I don't know what that means. I think it's a Finnish hippopotamus family. Oh, those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what do they do?

Do you know? Have you ever watched this cartoon? I know that Abby is into the movement. She's into the imagery. I don't know if we've watched any. Like, she likes the merch, but I don't know if we've ever watched it. But it's a cartoon. It's not a book like the Berenstain.

There might be books. Yeah, I think. Like Caillou, but a hippo. I don't think it's as testosterone-fueled as Caillou. They're bald. There was a, I did a stand-up show last night, and there was a gentleman that was on the show that his claim to fame was he used to be one of the voices

on the cartoon show Arthur when he was a kid, but then he hit puberty and can't do the kid voice anymore. Who was he? He was a set of twins. I've never seen Arthur, but he was like Tommy and something, something twins. I don't know what Arthur is.

It's a hard work. He's an alcoholic. Yes. Super rich. I get Arthur and Alfie mixed up. Oh, right. Alfie's the... Lily Allen's brother?

Yeah. No, it was... Michael Caine. It was Michael Caine, and they redid it with... Jude Law? No, Russell Brand. Oh, they redid Arthur with Russell Brand. They redid Alfie with Jude Law.

Oh, you're right. What's it all about? But I never watched. Arthur is one of those things that if you go into BuzzFeed, this was the biggest thing in everyone's childhood. Like the moment I became an adolescent. Oh, like the cartoon Arthur. Yeah.

Yeah. No, no. It's the Dudley Moore movie. Yeah, it was huge. Do you know Arthur? He's a bit past my time. I'm aware of him. I'm aware of his work. I know he's a guy

who's got glasses and a sword. He had a little sister. Okay. And apparently there was a set of twins somehow involved. Rugrats is beyond me as well. Oh yeah, Rug yeah rugrats i never i don't know what that is was is it is it like muppet babies it's muppet babies but humans yeah but humans and they didn't they were based on something that already existed they're not muppets yeah yeah oh yeah

and there was also there's like there's one where it's even a couple years younger and people know it was a show called Recess. Yeah. Yeah, that's beyond me, too. There was one about a... A lot of fun, sexy Halloween costumes. What? Sexy recess costumes. Oh, is that a real thing?

Yeah, they weren't sexy. They were just... Best is the recess. Yeah, the only recess I remember from my youth is the recess pieces in E.T. Yeah, take a sip of coffee. I remember from my youth is the recess pieces in E.T. Yeah. Take a sip of coffee. You've earned it. So what's new in your life, Taz?

What's going on? What's new? I don't know. You haven't been here in a long time. It's been a while. Yeah. How long? I didn't check.

I don't know either. It's been an era. Yeah. An epoch I didn't check. I don't know either. It's been an era. Yeah. An epoch. I'm having a bit of a renaissance. Oh, okay. I just booked some commercials. Okay.

It was almost two years, so that could be the same amount of time. So, I've never booked anything. So, what does that feel like? You did that talking vagina commercial That's true, but I didn't audition for that That just came my way This is something you auditioned for Yeah, I auditioned a lot

It was almost two years And I was like, well, at the end of two years If I don't book anything, I'm going to do something else I guess But like what? Do what? Put on your own commercial? I Do what? Put on your own. Oh, I have no idea. Put on your own commercials?

Yeah. I'm going to make my own commercials. Put them on YouTube. See if they get any hits. Just want to move product. Yeah, exactly. I remember a couple of years ago, was it Swiss Chalet? Yeah, that was the last one.

That was the last one. And I remember being, I want, I. At an airport? People seem to see them at the airport a lot. No, I was in Toronto and I guess I was hungover, but I had had a beer. Right. It was just probably like it was on tap. And so I feel like they just hadn't cleaned.

And so I was so, I felt so sick the next day. and so I was so I felt so sick the next day and I couldn't stop seeing disgusting things on TV

including your commercial with like stuff being dipped in gravy yeah yeah yeah and was it it was you if I recall correctly

on a date maybe I think it was with my wife it wasn't clear okay yeah and they filled out my sideburns for me

they stippled in what's what really oh i can't grow a full beard okay so they connect they made the connector yeah yeah like the the portraits in the wall street journal yeah i sat down in there and the client was like okay and they just started whispering the they got me to get up and go to wardrobe and make up again. Is that the most you've ever had done, like, cosmetically in one of these things? Yeah, I think so. Because I remember I did a photo shoot. We did a photo shoot that was supposed to look like all Mad Men-y.

Oh, yeah, right. For Sad Men? I think Sad Men. You guys were greasers. Sad Magazine. And they spent so long, the hairstylists, used so much product and spent so long trying to get me to not have an alfalfa sprouted in the back of my head. I resigned myself to the fact that it's impossible. They ended up putting a little green screen on it.

And they're like, we'll figure it out later. it's impossible. They ended up putting a little green screen on it, and they're like, well, we'll figure it out later. It's worth it. Yeah, I've noticed in some commercials that they will make a point of really showing you that the couple in the commercial is married. Like, in a dishwashing commercial, you'll see that there's a wedding band. I think they gave me a wedding ring.

Yeah, it's... But there was no coverage from my wife. It was just the back of her head. Right. Dude. How does, how does an actor, do they care if they're like go and shoot the thing and then they don't use

anything of their face? Would you care? I personally would love it. I would love to do just that. You still get paid, I believe. but then like, you can't put it on your reel, I guess.

I guess so. Unless you're a back of head specialist. Yeah, like, you're the only actor where no matter which way you shoot me, it's the back of a head. Silent on camera, back of head. They did a portrait of this guy, and no matter where I move in the room, the back of his head follows me. So, like, more than one commercial? Yeah, in like a week. It's weird.

One of them was hand modeling. Really? Yeah. Let's see these hands. They're just like these. Oh, they're quite nice now that I look at them. A bunch of different handshakes. Like business.

The wrong way. Yeah, the wrong handshake. Yep. Like touching the wrist, I guess The wrong way. Yeah, the wrong hand shake. Yep. Like, touching the wrist, I guess, is probably one of them. Yeah, some gentle caresses. Do you ever, is there ever one where you reach in and you milk a cow? There was. The other hand is a cow?

It wasn't a cow, but I did that with the fingers. That weird. I was given some freestyle options. So you did the milking. We'll do one take for you. Just have fun with it. Have either of you ever milked anything?

I don't think so. I milked a goat once. How was that? It was really weird. Yeah, because you gotta pull a lot harder than you want to. Yeah, and they're also the thing, the very warm. They're a lot warmer than you would think. Did it want you to?

I don't know that anything wants to. Damn me. I'm not the sheep. And I was the only guy around. And I was like, okay. Don't tell anybody. Just walking by someone's yard? Yeah.

All right. But yeah, they have to put its head in a thing so it doesn't run away. So I assume they don't love it. But it's got to get rid of it. Yeah, I guess. It doesn't eject naturally. I don't know. I have no idea.

Maybe it does. If they didn't separate it from its children. Oh, yeah. It probably would get rid of it. Oh, right. Its kids. Mm-hmm. That's a good point. Dave, ever. It probably would get rid of it. It's kids. Good point. Dave, ever milk anything? Um, no.

I've been around in those sort of like we all, you know, the class went to the farm and then they show you how to do it. But it was... Or like a rubber glove. No, they'll show you a cow. They'll take a cow or a goat or whatever, you know.

What else would you milk? I mean, we're treading on some very meet the parents territory. But I think cow and goat are the only ones that spring to mind. I'm sure that there are other animals. What can you buy? Well, I mean, there's almond and soy. Yeah, I was thinking camel. Maybe you can buy camel.

Horse milk. Never heard of it. What? Purchasing horse milk. Yeah, but that's because it's one of those things. If you want it, you have to go get it yourself. Almond. Almond, yeah. Milk and almond. Yeah. Milk, soy. Soy. Milk, one soy. They have in the grocery stores here, They have in the grocery stores here I think it's cow's milk But it's just got a Chinese label With just Chinese characters on it And I won't touch that Yeah, well

It's always like It's up to you Yeah I need to know what's in this big white gallon I know I bought like There's a On Fraser Street There's all these great Indian grocery stores.

And I just bought like a random soda there once. And I was like, well, we'll see what flavor this soda was. Camerined? It was like raisin flavored. So it wasn't bad. It's a French grape. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was just a French label on a grape soda.

Yeah, you guys. It was just a grape label on a grape soda yeah you guys it was just a grape crush I'm just trying to sound cool one time I went to this exotic store you may have

heard of it Circle K we don't have those so was the hand modeling is that

was that video watch me pour this tea yeah wow it was the hand modeling is that uh was that video or is that for this tea yeah it's really hand acting more than anything yeah i mean i auditioned for a uh talking part and they were like those hands like can you do a couple handshakes all right cool um have you ever done any print work or only have you appeared in any of those pamphlets telling people not to buy alcohol for teens? Yes,

as a teen. Those teens in that ad, they couldn't have found two nicer looking teens in the, do you want these kids to talk to your kids about alcohol? I think one has a backwards hat, though. He's like, I don't know.

These guys are into skate culture. And the other ones they have are like, looking young is good. Being young is bad. I forget what the logic is. Is that a skin cream? No, it's at the liquor store. It's saying like... There's a backpack.

What's that? It's a see-through backpack. Do you know what your kids are doing? There's like a Mickey beside a fun ruler. I'm measuring my Mickey. That's what I'm doing. Does everyone say Mickey? Is that a Canadian thing?

Is a Mickey like a half of a two-six? I don't know. Yeah, it's a small liquor. The small one that you put in your backpack. But if you slip someone a Mickey that's a bad thing oh yeah

that's but we call the small ones Mickey I guess that would be a bad thing too if you put a whole Mickey in someone's

drink oh boy they would notice though I think I've only heard slip someone a Mickey from that one episode of Seinfeld

yeah it's a little gangster term I think what's in there another term roofie. Yeah. It's a little gangster term, I think. What is, what's in there another term? Roofie. Is that,

yeah, that's a, that's the same thing as slipping a Mickey, right? I guess so. This is the, that's the modern.

Yeah, I think back in the day, it was like, ah, I slipped on my Mickey. Yeah, oh yeah. He fell asleep.

It wasn't as nefarious. But yeah, now slipping somebody a Mickey, that's nice. here, I got you that alcohol you like. Sure. Yeah, Alberta Gold.

Oh, yeah. Silent Sam. Yeah. What was Silent Sam? Silent Sam was intended to be the vodka that you couldn't smell on someone's breath. That's why it was silent because it had nose silence. Yeah, because they switch senses for alcohol. It had nose silence.

Yeah, because they switched senses for alcohol. What was, when you were younger, what was the cheap alcohol that all the teenagers had? I don't know if it was cheap, but we were into Southern Comfort. Oh, Southern Comfort. Yeah, that would have been a pricey alcohol. It tasted like flowers. Yeah. What is it? Bourbon?

I think it's a bourbon, but it's also very flowery. Yeah, it's like one of those... Burbly. I could see teenagers getting into it. That and Amaretto. I remember people into that in a big way. Oh, yeah. Well, I never drank as a teenager.

Well, I was 19, but when I was legal, I remember going to... All my friends going out at night would have to order, what's fun and sweet? Can i have a grasshopper what is creme de banana sour cat sour puss please yeah the uh butterscotch what kind of ripples do you have yeah or schnapps yeah what do you got soipples do you have? Yeah. Or schnapps. Or schnapps, yeah. Do you have some sort of raisin schnapps? It's just grape. It's French grape. Schnapps. Les schnapps.

Big Bear was the name of the malt liquor that you could buy. What is malt liquor? Like a thick beer? Yeah, it's like... It's very poorly made beer. It's a very... Yeah, it's like a poorly made beer. It's just like a thick beer yeah it's like it's very poorly made it's a very yeah it's like a poorly made beer like it's just like a gross like you it's the it's what you would drink out of a bag yeah and you know that smell like uh when somebody's been drinking all night and then that

you smell them the next day malt liquor okay that's that's basically what it smells like right out of the bottle. But it was cheap. It was carbon filtered, I think, which you think would be better. Carbon filtered? Maybe I'm making that up. I don't know. I have no idea. What does that mean?

They use some of those charcoal brackets? Yeah. It's good for water. I think people like it with cigarettes, too. Carbon filtered cigarettes. I think people like it with cigarettes, too. Carbon-filtered cigarettes. I remember being in a test group for some sort of carbon-filtered cigarette.

Did they give you the cigarettes, or was it just the logo? Free cigarettes. And you just sat in a room and smoked them and filled out a survey. It was pretty gross sitting in that room. Was this while you were at the height of your smokiness? Yes. And this was in Alberta, which I think probably it's illegal to do that now, just like give out free cigarettes.

There's probably all sorts of laws. Yeah. You can still smoke in focus rooms, though. Oh, really? Cool. Do you still smoke? I do. Cigarettes? Yeah. Have you tried vaping? I did for a brief period and I didn't care for it. What didn't you care for about it? I don't know.

I think I need to get a new juice. Oh yeah, you gotta get some fresh juice. You gotta refill the juice. It was too strong. Oh, you gotta get a weaker juice. Go to my guy. Who's your juice guy? Jack LaLanne? Yeah, yeah. If he was still alive, he'd probably be into

some high quality. Didn't he sell a juicer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. If he was still alive, he'd probably be into some high quality. Didn't he sell a juicer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, also, didn't he, like, swim and, like, tow a boat with his... He was an old-timey strong guy. Yeah, with a rope in his mouth or whatever. And wore a jumpsuit until the day he died. Oh, yeah.

Great waist. Yeah, oh, boy. V-shaped torso. And then there was the other guy. For Vendetta. With the crazy eyebrows that was the juice carrot ron popeil no he had like white shock white hair and then he's crazy white i'm yeah i was thinking that was jack lillane no that's not jack lillane that's like

some some other world who's ron popeil ron popeil is from popeil yeah he was like the food dehydrator and the pocket fisherman. He was also very excitable. Oh, yeah. He was the first of the late night infomercials. I just Googled famous juicer. You got Ben Johnson. Yeah.

Mark McGuire. Buy a famous fruit juicer With waste cup Good you're gonna Need that waste cup And the second Result About Jack LaLanne

So he's He's your He's He's the He's the Definitely he was a famous Juice guy But he's not the juice guy

I'm thinking of With the crazy Are you talking about The waste cup? Yeah It attaches? No it's like... What's the...

Oh, like garbage. A garbage cup. A garbage cup. Yeah, waste. I thought it was a waste cup, too, like a belt cup. Oh, yeah. It's a mobile juicer. You get the juice, and then you attach it, and then you go for a run.

Along with your cell phone. Your little juice holster. When you vape, did you use the crazy box with the clarinet coming out of it? Or the little tiny sticker? No, it was just a little pin.

That was your first mistake. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to say you're my juice guy. Okay. He's going to give you a discount on a vape box. Here's one vape box.

Here's two potions of juice. And you just come back anytime. We're open 24 hours a day. And you have a steampunk guy to do the box? I have a separate steampunk guy to, just for goggles. Yeah, goggles and

top hats. There was a, I get notified when there's new things on Netflix And there was a Documentary about That culture Steampunk? Steampunk, yeah

It's only a matter of time Is Burning Man Steampunk's annual Cabaret? Or do they have their own They have a thing Yeah, it's a little more Mad Max Monk's annual, like, cabaret? No. Or do they have their own? They have a thing. Yeah, it's a little more Mad Max.

Right. There's one of those. It's called Wasteland, I think. Oh, what? It's an all Mad Max? It's like a post-apocalyptic Burning Man. And people, like, have crazy cars. That sounds a lot like Burning Man. Yeah.

I imagine there's probably a tour of these that a guy with a crazy car could go on. Or a girl. You know, like there's different of these type of festivals that you could just drive your insane vehicle to. There's a festival for everything. There's a vape fest, I'm sure. Of course. So, so fragrant. Juice hip fest.

Juice waste? Yeah, yeah. Now it's moving down to your hip? This is some fresh juice. There's a movie on Netflix right now called 99 Homes starring Andrew Garfield. And who is the guy who played the new General Zod? Oh, Michael Shannon? Yeah, Michael Shannon.

He vapes in it. And it's like, basically to me, it's the vaping movie. Because it's the first movie I've seen a guy vape in. And it's an older guy. Yeah. What made you want to watch a movie you had never heard of? It came up in the... Andrew Garfield.

What made you want to watch a movie I'd never heard of? It came up in the recommendos. These are ones you might like. It was wrong. I didn't like it. But I did. I'm like, that's, to me, the vaping movie. That's always a telltale sign when it's a movie that has big stars that you never heard.

This was never in theaters. And this is Spider-Man and Zod. This is a Spider-Man Zod joint. It only played festivals. It only played festivals. Oh, right. Yeah. It went straight to Netflix.

Would you ever go to a Burning Man or Equivalent? I don't even like to go to a Burning Man or equivalent? I don't even like to go to concerts. But like what if you were super rich and you were able to fly in? I'd create my own area. No, no. I mean Burning Man is I think for, it's less of a hippie thing and more of just like something that rich people now go to. Right. Like let's slough off our responsibilities for a week.

Yeah. Let's build a water slide like on site yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll have an on-site water slide we're going to bring our own water because it's the desert oh boy that's a bad idea we'll just trade some scaffolding oh for you know back rubs yeah you can't is it that there's no money's allowed to you know you can have it in your pocket probably. And you could probably give it to somebody in exchange for drugs. Yeah, probably.

It's supposed to be a trade-based economy. Yeah. It's, but like, yeah, didn't like Leonardo DiCaprio and like Jared Leto flew in his own private plane and I mean that's, and then what, does he just walk around and he's like,

can you believe I'm here? Like, is that his whole thing? I'm one of you. Yeah, like Bill Murray. Yeah, oh yeah. No one will believe you. Is that a thing he says? I think, I don't know, it's a rumor that he taps people on the shoulder and he's like, no one will believe you, and then runs away.

But now he steals their wallet. The most believable thing now is like yeah Bill Murray was tending bar somewhere yeah isn't that

what he's currently doing at his like son's yeah but he's so whimsical it used to be he would just show up at any

bar and like or any party and oh Bill Murray's here great you don't care for him right

uh no I do not because I uh why is it again? Because he allegedly beat the shit out of his wife. Okay. That doesn't show up on the internet. Because I remembered you said that, and I was like, why don't I like... And I tried looking up why Bill Murray's bad and just came up with Chevy Chase.

Because he punched Chevy Chase once? Well, just because Chevy Chase is a bigger asshole. Yeah. Of the era. And he also, like, you just hear these stories about, like, these people are making a movie and they can't get a hold of him. He's, like, gone off somewhere for a week, and, you know, that's supposed to be charming.

Unprofessional. Yeah, so I think that's two for two. I think that's enough. Yep. In the column of, hey, hey, buddy. Fair. Those are two very far apart columns oh very far apart but i think i think i cover my basis and uh in uh being anti i i think i was pro murray for many years and then then you learn the the truth about things and then you go and then actuality, Chevy Chase, probably the nicer guy out of the two of them.

Well, I mean, the internet will tell you otherwise. Oh, I know. It really, I mean, he's probably very hard to work with, that Chevy Chase. But at least he shows up. Yeah, he shows up. He'll show up day in and day out and make it difficult. Also misogynist, too. Oh, is he? Oh, right, yeah. yeah i mean the internet told me a lot of stuff

i know jerry lewis was back in the news for what uh he's pro trump i guess so he's still alive yeah he's still alive and they like every year i feel like they do a retrospective of his career like hey he's still here. Let's see that clip of him pertaining to type on a typewriter. And let's see him with Dean Martin and him on his telethon. And then where he said women aren't funny. And then when he said some racist stuff. Oh, Jerry Lewis.

To 100, I say. Yes. Yeah, the internet keeps trying to tell me to like certain people but i i just it keeps trying to tell me what jared leto's up to oh yeah yeah it feels like jared he's he's aligned himself with somebody who knows how to pump analytics yeah he's he's... We're supposed to care that he's going to play Andy Warhol in a movie? Oh, I hope he does it really like a steampunk Warhol.

I just hope he has a tattoo on his forehead that says damaged. Or Campbell's. I hope he has his 50 minutes of fame and his 30 seconds of Mars. Yeah, I'm just... I can't wait until he's B-list. 50 minutes of fame and his 30 seconds of Mars. Yeah.

I'm just, I can't wait until he's B list. I, I, he has had some kind of crazy career cause he was on my so-called life. Yeah. And then, but he still is kind of playing the same roles,

even though he did Requiem for a Dream. He was in Fight Club. He was in Requiem for a Dream. He was in Fight Club. Oh, right. He was in Requiem for a Dream. Yeah, he was in Fight Club. Yeah, he got beat up real bad. That's the scene I can't watch. Most of the movie,

his face is just mangled. Yeah. Huh. That really shows the director's commitment to that scene that they would pummel it. The beautiful face of Joe.

I had... I had that on DVD and this was in a time when i everyone just had dvds oh yeah and i would you know put it on and fall asleep to it and that scene i couldn't watch it when he was getting asleep to fight fall asleep to it i would say if you've seen it 50 times um but that scene i would always have to close my eyes and it was just you could just hear a basketball bouncing like i think that was the fully they did yeah yeah it's uh that's kind of a weird thing that there was this period of time vhs to dvd where you would have like a display of

these are the movies i like yeah and now now not now you can't tell but it was a vhs even then that was kind of rare because for most of the time vhs was around they were really expensive yeah it was like if you if in the 80s a movie uh if you lost a movie that you had been renting you had to move down yeah like blockbuster would call you up and say you owe 600 for top secret worth it yeah it's totally worth it um do you remember the last movie that you ever rented like physically rented i know the last movie that they made on vhs oh really mr and mrs smith oh really oh wow it hung on way longer than i thought on VHS. Oh, really? Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Oh, really? Oh, wow. It hung on way longer

than I thought. I don't know how I know that. Does that answer your question? Yeah, it more than answers it. Oh, boy, that's very exciting. Yeah, I'm trying to think of the last, like, physical movie I rented.

When I was in Owen Sound, Ontario this past summer, They have sounds? Yeah, they have a sound. I thought that was an ocean thing. No, they have them on the bay. Georgian Bay. Yeah, isn't Perry Sound

out there? Yeah, yeah, they got sounds. Yeah, they got sounds. And they had a Blockbuster that wasn't open, but it still had the sign-up and everything. Oh, wow. Like, ours have all...

They still got them red boxes. Sure. That's true. Yeah, that's kind of weird. Who's using those? Old people, I guess. Really? They don't want to...

That seems more... They probably... I would think old people just go to the library. Kids do it on their head. Porn movies. Can you rent porn in a red box? I don't think so.

It's too bad. Missed opportunity. And what kid is, I've never used it. Is not able to use the internet. Yeah, and has a credit card, I guess. Oh, yeah. Oh, that was a fantasy when I was a kid, just being able to fill out one of those credit card forms that would just come in the mail, and hopefully they would just send you a credit card.

Did you ever do it? Yeah, I did. Never sent me one. I mostly probably filled them out in pencil. Right. Crayon. Had to ask my parents what our postal code was, and they're like, for what? Nothing.

Homework. Just look at the mail, buddy. I wasn't that smart. What is a postal code? That's what you would ask. Yeah. That is a new topic. I know what it is.

Yeah, that's how I broached it with my parents. What is a postal code? In your opinion, mom and dad, what's a postal code? What is my occupation? And what's like a good income for a Mr. Graham Clark? Yeah.

So you booked some commercial. Fantastic. Congratulations. Thank you. Can you say what they're for or no? I don't know. Yeah, don't say. One of them, I'm a chess master. Oh, cool.

Like the 70s versus a computer. Oh, like you're playing like Deep Blue? I guess. Wasn't that in the 90s? That was a 90s thing. So maybe you were playing a bad computer? I guess, yeah. Unclear.

Is the next line. Computers have come a long way. Another thing that's come a long way is auto glass repair. I had no lines. Oh, it's not you. It's the announcer. That's a good pitch. Thanks.

I'm the guy from Speedy Auto Glass. I'm like, yes, yes. And then I'd be like, but I should tell you uh things haven't come along just glass yeah just glass uh sometimes we'll fix it sometimes we'll put in brand new stuff those are two options it's weird that it hasn't come farther than that but well maybe it has i have no it's glass graham they still wash it with a guy on on a rope. That's true. They've never... No improvement on glass.

Yeah, that's funny. With all our modern conveniences. Dyson will come up with something, like a wind barrier. They got wind covered. The thing that just shoots wind right across so that things can't come through. Come on, that's the future.

It's like, do you ever, if you ever go through a car wash, that last thing is the, they just blast your car with fans. Wall of wind. It's pretty cool. They should just have that on your, instead of shooting out soap onto your windshield, it should just have a wind blaster. Look, I. No, that should be the windshield is what I'm saying. The windshield should just have a wind blaster. Look, I... No, that should be the windshield is what I'm saying.

The windshield should just be wind. A windshield. Yeah. Nothing you get through because it's so strong. And it has to stay on all the time

so no one can break in. Oh, yeah. Sure. Also. Does Dyson make a hair dryer? I haven haven't i know they do hand dryers yeah because they started out vacuums and they do a fan yeah oh yeah they do that a bladeless fan that if you ever see it in stores doesn't seem to do anything but yeah but you put your hand in there don't you it doesn't blow air but maybe it cools somehow

it's this is dyson's way of proving that you really do need blades and a fan in order to make it work we took the blades out and guess what doesn't work yeah it's just an 800 circle um it could be a hair dryer that you like put the whole circle around your head of course oh yeah that would be great like just like a tennis racket that you put the whole circle around your head. Of course they could. Oh, yeah. That would be great. Just like a tennis racket that you blow over your head? Bake it. Dry in one second?

Well, I mean, your hair's dry. It just blows it onto the floor. That's Dyson's big... They blow your hair out of your head? No, to the water. Oh, the water. Okay. It's the one-time hair dryer. Terrible product. I use it on my Okay. It's the one-time air dryer. Terrible product.

I use it on my beard. It's great. Yeah. But it seems like they're only invested in wind-based. Any kind of air... Blowing or sucking. Those are the two. They love that card game.

Suck and blow? Yeah. That was Dyson's favorite card game. I wouldn't think of that as a card game suck and blow yeah that was Dyson's favorite card game I wouldn't think of that as a card game you guys want to play cards tonight

just getting the boys together and play some suck and blow they offer it at a lot of casino's is that a teen makeup game no limit suck and blow

these Vietnamese guys show up with their reflective glasses and hoodies let's play suck and blow. Let's do this. It's me. Kiss me.

Is that where you have to, it's like kissing? Yeah, like you suck on the card. Like that scene in Karate Kid where they're playing all those cool make-out games. Like a note card, not a... Well, maybe you could do it with a credit card. I guess I mean a playing card. But you wouldn't want to ruin your deck,

so you would use the one that just has the rules on it. Oh, yeah. Right. If that happens in a casino, they deal you a rules card. Do you get something? You get a chip? If they forget to take the rules card out? Do you ever gamble, Taz?

Are you a gambler? No, I don't understand it. Like, I understand the concept, but I'm not good at card games and things like that. What about a sports bet? No, no. No, nothing. No, I'll get a scratch and win like every eight months. I'll get like, oh, I should do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be stupid not to. Giddy little thrill. I played bingo. Okay bingo okay bingo's fun though i'm playing a bingo there on uh main street that's fine get a couple cards is smoking still legal in there it seems like it is i think they now it's a parkour oh yeah there's always closed they used to have a smoking level oh yeah it's now park a parkour. They have kids parkour. Get Margo in there. Kids parkour, wow.

Does it still smell like cigarettes? Yes. Yeah, a lot of the obstacles are old ashtrays and garbage bags filled with cigarette butts. Yeah, I think taking a girl on a date to play bingo is a lot of fun. That's a fun,

cheap, whimsical date. And a bit depressing. Mm-hmm. If you look around or stay too long. There's a lot of people with oxygen tanks here. Yeah, I worked at a bingo hall when I was in my teen years. It goes very fast. Bingo?

Yeah. Or your teen years. Yes. Yes. I felt like they lasted forever. Yeah. I don't get that notion that people are like, oh, it's just life. It goes so fast.

It doesn't. It feels like it goes at life speed, which is very one day at a time. No, as I get older, it does like, you know. You got a baby. But also things that were like, you know not a baby anymore toddler boom a movie that came out uh playing bingo 10 years ago like i don't know walk the line oh yeah that might have been 12 years ago right doesn't feel like it's been that long uh yeah but i think that's just because it's a an immortal film that's true i it every day. I fall asleep to the scene of Yogi Phoenix

getting beaten with a guitar. So many masculine movies you fall asleep to. What were the... I'll tell you the ones I watched in my collection back in the day.

It would have been Rushmore and Royal Tenenbaums. Oh, yes. Fight Club. Maybe this pavement documentary. The bandbaums. Oh, yes. Fight Club. Maybe this pavement documentary. The band.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Hiss Pavement. It's what you're walking on. And what else? Oh, High Fidelity. That's sort of masculine. Yeah, so all the

men's rights movies. Sure. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. Could have put American Beauty in there and not Mr. Beat. Oh, yeah. What are the other men's rights movies. Sure. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. Could have put American Beauty in there and not Mr. Beat. Oh, yeah. What are the other men's rights movies?

Have you watched High Fidelity recently? No. Rewatch it again. You're like, oh, come on. I tried rewatching American Beauty like two weeks ago. Oh, yeah? That's bad? Well, it was like, it's not that it's bad.

It was a play at first, wasn't it? Really? Which makes it good. It's very much of its exact period of time because it came out before 9-11. Okay. And so this was like. America's got no problems. Well, that's kind of what it was.

A midlife crisis had to make up a problem. Yeah. Bags in the wind everywhere. Yeah, his life, as you see it at the beginning, you're like, it seems really nice. He's got a wife. He gets to jack off in the shower. Yeah, exactly.

Everything's still working down there. He's got a kid. She seems really smart. She shows her boobs. What else do you want? Yeah. But the level of problem in the movie is so, if you made a movie like that now,

people would be like, do you not know anything? But back then it was like, yes, the N-u-a of life yes um and the yeah uh high fidelity is he tracks down all his old girlfriends and blames them and yeah why did i turn out like this yeah oh wow oh yeah i haven't watched and And also talks to the camera like, we had the best sex of our lives, and she was into me. Into me.

It's painful to watch. But I remember watching it like, oh man, this is what I want to be. Yeah, this is what being a man's about. Yeah, this guy. Oh, shit. And what's the, you know, if you haven't seen High Fidelity out there,

spoiler alert, but what is the, does he resolve it? He goes from his, the girlfriend that he was with, that they broke up. That he thought he wanted. That they broke up at the beginning of the movie. Right. And he's this record store owner who just is like a music critic. Like, he makes top five lists of the top five whatever songs.

And he makes mixtapes. Yeah. And at the end, she teaches him to be like a contributor, and he starts producing music. Oh. Instead of just... Instead of cataloging yeah yeah right oh okay and tim robbins and tim robbins is great yeah and it was that's where we as a as a

nation got to know jack black pretty much yeah uh it's not terrible but i do remember watching re-watching and cringing at moments. I was like, yeah, this explains it. That is weird that you would talk out loud during a movie. It was annoying to other people in the theater. This is it, guys. Listen up. Listen to this part. This is my generation.

Speaking of things that used to be plays, I was watching, did you see anything in the Fringe Festival this year? I saw Cam McLeod. I saw Cam McLeod's thing as well. I went and saw four shows. You saw four things. Good for you.

Any randos? No, all the people I knew. And then once you've done that list, you're out of bridge do you know what the most successful thing in the fringe was the trump the musical yeah the one thing it was held over was trump the musical it was held over yeah it did not win the best of the fringe or anything well it was sold out long after the fringe was over they had them on the news and they did a song. I'm a Yankee Donald. Damn.

Oh. Well, that's fringe main stage. And they, here's what else was in the song. Oh, yeah. Break it down. There were these like girl cheerleaders for Donald Trump. And then at the end, a guy dressed as Bill Clinton comes out and says I do not approve this message and then a Wookiee

comes out and makes a Wookiee noise and then just a paper Wookiee mask and then Justin Trudeau with his shirt off oh that wasn't part of the the wearing a Monica Lewinsky dress with a stain uh oh but what does the Wookiee have to do with it?

The theme is the reason Dave hates theater. The fact that this was the most successful thing. Is that theater? This is how I think of theater. Okay. But that is always at every fringe I've been to. Anybody who does like a one-man Breaking Bad or like... Topical.

Yeah, like something that's that moment. How can I help people relate to movies they like? Yeah. One-man High Fidelity. How can I make this less like theater? Hit myself in the face with a phone. One-man My Dinner with Andre. like theater.

Hit myself in the face with a phone. One man, my dinner with Andre. When they did the play version of American Beauty, was the bag on strings or was it like

a marionette plastic bag? I don't think. I think American Beauty was an original. But it was by a playwright. Maybe that's why. It was the first film by a playwright. Fincher why it was it was the first film by a playwright

fincher no finch no uh fincher was fight club yeah wasn't it the director was a ball was his last name no who did revolutionary road oh uh i mean we all had a hand in it. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Don't Google us. Yeah, don't you Google us. Don't you dare Google us. Dave, what's going on with you? Guys, I've joined the Big Ice Revolution. Go on.

Well, one of my gigs is to make podcasts for this restaurant company. And I did an episode about bartending. Right. And the bartender taught me how to make an old fashioned. Oh. And the last step is you pour it over a giant ice cube. And so now I bought a thing to make giant ice cubes. Yeah.

I put them in everything. Yeah. Circle or square? Oh, square. That's the square. I don't have that kind of time. It takes longer to do a circle? I think you need to attach a separate thing. Yeah, you've got to pour water into it. I suppose physics would demand

that. So everywhere I go, big ice cubes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lemonade. Big ice cube. A glass of milk that's kind of warm. A big ice cube. Ice coffee. Big ice cube.

If I go to a restaurant and I order a Coke and they say, hey, is Pepsi okay? I say, it's fine. As long as you've got that big ice cube. Do you find regular ice cubes to be off-putting and offensive now? Oh, inferior. Yeah. Oh, because you see, Graham, it's all about surface area. Do you bring your own ice cubes to movies?

Yep. Sir, can I look in your soaking bag? No, I got one of those thermos coats. Yeah, you got one of those waist cups. You've had a big ice cube. Oh, I loved it. Did you notice the difference? Yeah, it's...

First of all, it's a lot of fun. It's like having an iceberg in your glass. And you... Like, if you ever did a gag, like, fly in the ice cube, you could put a pretty big bug in there. Yeah, oh, yeah. You put a whole tarantula in there.

But what about sexual frustration? Yeah, nothing no no chips to chomp oh yeah and if you did the like uh nine and a half weeks thing where you melt the ice cube on somebody take a long time they'd be very cold by the end or do the right thing do the right thing. Do the right thing. Oh, yeah. Is that? Yeah, they have an ice cube. It's also a heat wave. Yeah. Was that? That was, I guess, the thing to do in the 80s. And then in the 90s, it was candle wax.

Then in the 2000s. What was that? Madonna and Willem Dafoe. Yeah. And then they did another one. There was a movie called Sliver. Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone.

That did some wax. That was her follow- up to Basic Instinct that was on TV a few weeks ago months ago I rewatched that I've never seen it all the way through yeah I only ever saw the

scene with the ice pick the crossy leggy scene and then the end. I've never seen it start to finish. Is it uncensored on TV? On the channel I saw it on. Ooh. It was a women's rights movie.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's take that. What channel? One of the, like, Encore Avenue. Okay. Mm-hmm. One of the women's rights channels.

Like, what is it? Encore Avenue? Oh, okay. Mm-hmm. One of the women's rights channels. One of the old movie channels, but not that old. And mostly shows things you would never want to watch. But once you start watching, you're like, oh, yeah.

Yeah. I do want to watch this. Shelley Long in the Money Pit. The Hills Have Eyes 2. Brendan Fraser did make a lot of movies between The Mummy and The Mummy 2. He was Hollywood's most bankable star for a time. Monkeybone. Monkeybone. They never show Monkeybone on TV.

No, I know. You would watch. If you saw two seconds of Monkeybone, you're in for the full run. We were talking with Morgan Brayton about that movie she made with the three, the marquee stars were Patrick Swayze, Morgan Brayton, and Chris Kattan.

Yes. Yeah. And also the larger guy from Jackass. And, What movie? What was it called? Holiday.

Christmas in Wonderland. Okay. I see. And I said, I called it a direct to video or Hallmark Hall of Fame movie. And you guys corrected me and said, no called it a direct-to-video or Hallmark Hall of Fame movie. And you guys corrected me and said, no, it was theatrical.

So I went to Box Office Mojo. Yeah. Oh, boy. And I looked it up. Oh, dear. Opening weekend. Oh, no. $649.

Wow. Only went to two theaters. Right. There was, I remember. That's like 100 people saw it. Maybe not even. Just so we could get Oscar consideration, I guess. There was a, when the Phantom Menace came out, the first of the prequels to the Star of the Star movies, Starman's, there was only one other movie opening that same weekend because every studio

was like shelve everything right and one other movie and it was the super dave movie and they were like well if we have one yeah one project that could compete directly with the phantom menace i remember in the 90s I had heard that a movie had had the worst opening ever. And it maybe made $12 or something in one weekend. But that's impossible. But it was, the movie was

called Frozen Assets. It was about a sperm bank starring Corbin Bernson. I mean, it's got all the right ingredients to be a hit and that was the last movie they ever put out on VHS do you find it now that you have this big

ice cube tray you making more fancy drinks yes well I just make the one old fashioned the guy taught me to make. Yeah. But it's so versatile. I'll put it in a juice.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. How big does the cup have to be? Pretty big. Yeah. Or pretty wide. Okay. It doesn't have to be deep. During the summer, you could make gigantic popsicles.

Yeah, sure, fat-sicles. Yeah, big fat-sicles. But the thing about popsicles is they fit in your mouth really easily. That's true. With their current shape. Yeah, the popsicle hasn't really, there's not like a ton new in popsicles.

Like when you see an ice cream truck or whatever, it's the same popsicles. I guess so. But they're still like, they now do, you know, artisanal yeah you get those mexican ones they put that like uh sort of savory oh i don't know that oh it's like a red i am wrong it turns out oh like a like a corn cob that you would dip in uh cream and paprika but it's like it's not paprika but it's something it's a bit savory and they put it

quite spicy. And is it just on like a regular like fruit liver? Yeah, like a little lime. Oh. Ooh. Now as a Canadian

I know that putting salt on ice will melt it. Yes. That's true. It's maybe not salt. There's also this thing that they do I think it's a Quebec thing

where they put maple syrup on snow. Yeah. And then you just eat that and that's kind of like an instant popsicle. I thought for the longest time that salt was just for traction.

Oh, okay. Just for your tires? Like it just created a grip. So if there's ice, then you have something to walk on or for tires. It makes sense. They also put sand out for traction. And gravel for some reason. For traction! Yeah, to keep for some reason. For traction. Yeah.

To keep the windshield people in business. That's true. Not when Dyson gets their way. Oh no. Big Dyson. Big wind. So yeah. That's what I've been up to guys. Big cubes. Big cubes. Big pubes. Oh yeah? Well

until Dyson makes a trimmer. Or a fan that can blow him away. Yeah, that's what you want. Your pubes are now your neighbor's problem. Every fall, the kids jump in a big pile of them. Where's Billy? What's going on with you, Graham? Well, we got some

mail. Physical? Yeah, physical mail. We've got a post office box. If anybody out there wants to send us anything from their world, they can send it to, you know, send us an email. We'll send you the post office. Do you want me to

tell you the post office box name and number right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I have it in front of me. Talk it to me. It is sweet. That's S-U-I-T-E. Yeah. It's not, like, totally sweet. Am I going to stop at every word of this post office box address? Maybe. Oh, okay.

Okay. This is suite 144 at 6362 Fraser Street, Vancouver, British Columbia, V5W 0A1. If you didn't get that, then rewind. So this comes

from Tony, aka SketchyTK. he's just saying uh thank you uh for providing the show he very much enjoys the show i've always wanted to give something back to the show other than a cash donation it's been tough to find the right thing to send into the podcast then a few weeks ago he's cleaning my mom's garage and found a box of my dad's baseball cards amongst the 1980s cards was a box of wwf pro wrestling stars trading cards unopened unopened uh still with the gum inside okay are we opening i thought we could all opening party yeah what's that on youtube an opening unboxing unboxing yeah before we open graham you're a big wrestling fan from back in the day. Yes.

Still today? Yeah, I mean, but I mostly watch this era. Yeah, I was a big wrestling fan until about puberty. Until the fall. And you? I watched a lot of it with my cousins in Alberta. Let me say this. Did you follow it as an adult at all?

No, I don't know. I'm aware that Gold Dust is a person, but I don't know. Gold Dust is a person from our youth. No, I followed 80s. Oh, 80s, yeah. Gold Dust is a little early. Can I say that the little cartoon of Hulk Hogan on the package, very generous with the hairline.

Overly so, I would say. There's gum in here, too. Yeah, yeah. And it's still good We're all eating the gum So these are from 1985 Wow the gum smells like cardboard How old is this guy's dad?

Uh No older Oh yeah maybe If he was collecting wrestling cards in the 80s How old is this guy? Wait a second Let's see What did I get?

What did I get here? I got An Andre the Giant second let's see what do what did i what did i get what i get here i got uh an andre the giant and jimmy uh super uh superfly jimmy snooker the camel clutch uh there's um i got captain oh nice doubles i got ready for a pile drive oh brut, Brutus the Barber Beefcake. Oh, he's great. These must have been made. I got One Angry Man. Oh, that's... Is that a name of a guy? No, that's Jesse the Body Ventura. Oh, it is.

One Angry Man. There's George the Animal Steel. Do you remember him? Oh, yeah. Used to eat turnbuckles. Green tongue. And then a sticker from a lady wrestler, Wendy Richter. Yes.

Wendy Richter. This must be made by the same people. I mean, I guess it's probably tops. But the same people who made the Growing Pains cards we had earlier. Oh, yeah. Because they come with stickers. And on the back of some of them, there's like a puzzle you can do. Oh, yeah.

There's definitely a puzzle on the back of this one. And it's definitely Hulk Hogan. I've got a Wendy Richter. She says that Cyndi Lauper is the best manager there is. True. Because she's there every day. She was dating Lou Albano. Were they dating?

Thought so. No, I don't think they dated. I think they were friends. Oh. But, yeah. In my kid head, they were dating. They were a couple. Yeah.

There's Ivan Putzky, which has got to be an anti-communist character. Oh, yeah. There's George the Animal Steel eating a turnbuckle. Oh, yeah. We've got doubles. Doubles. There's Moondog Rex and David Sammartino. Oh, yeah. I got Moondog.

This is, of course, Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndormartino. Oh yeah. I got a moon dog. Um, this is of course, Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff. Oh yeah. He was the best. Great, great promos from him.

Uh, Mr. Fuji in his wrestling days. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. As a manager. And I got a Fuji as a manager or as a samurai. Oh yeah.

Yeah. I guess that would have been wrestling. Most recently, someone said he was a ticket taker at a movie theater in Tennessee. And most, most recently,

passed away. Well, he could still be taking tics. Oh, sure, absolutely. He's gone to the big ticket-taking gate in the sky. Well, that's wonderful.

Thank you, Sketchy. I have the best one here, which is a picture of Hulk Hogan wearing one boxing glove holding a ghetto blaster in one shot, and then the next one, his fist is through the ghetto blaster, and it just says

wrong kind of music. Oh! Racist! You're right. You got the very best card. And clearly they had to cut a hole in the stereo. No, he punched his head.

They had to buy two ghetto blasters. Oh boy. It's not clear what kind of music he's playing. It could have been classical. I mean... Oh yeah. Hulk Hogan, World Wrestling Federation champion, loves rock and roll music. of music he's playing. That sure could have been classical. Yeah. I mean... Oh, yeah. Sorry. Hulk Hogan,

World Wrestling Federation champion, loves rock and roll music. This radio, however, must have been playing the wrong kind of music. Okay. All right.

Doesn't know how to turn a knob. Yeah. To somebody who is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Well, that's great. Yeah. So that was a lot of fun.

And... His forearm under the chest. Oh, wow. Looks like Goro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's it. That's it?

No, I mean, I'm trying to think. Oh, I told you this yesterday, but this blew my mind. Somebody told me, Gary Jones, who had passed guest, uh, told me that back in the late seventies, early eighties, uh, when TD was Canada trust, this is a bank.

Whoa. This is a bank. Okay. Toronto dominion. Yeah. As we know it. And, uh,

when they first announced that they had ATMs, they were called Johnny cash machines and they got Johnny Cash to do the ads for it. And I watched them on YouTube and I forgot. You only think of Johnny Cash as the walk the line guy. The man in black. Yeah. You don't think of that. It was like.

Did they call them Johnny Cash machines after him? Yeah. I assume so. Yeah. Why? I don't know. I don't like you can't figure any of the other pieces of it out. What era was it?

70s, 80s? Late 70s, early 80s, yeah. Like, and it's very, yeah, there would have been. No, it's more like quickie, like Johnny Cash. Yeah, like Johnny Cash. Yeah, not John Cat, Johnny Cat, yeah. Like, no, there's no space, so it's just like Johnny Cash. But he was the spokesperson for these. Well, he would have to be. Yeah. Like, no, there's no space. So it's just like Johnny Cash. Yeah. But he was the spokesperson for these.

Well, he would have to be. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. We got Waylon Jennings to advertise these Johnny Cash machines. But somebody did a blog post about it, and they interviewed somebody from the ad agency. And they were like, we had no idea we didn't know we never know what we're doing we just made this speedy glass commercial about a chess tournament the uh uh but the guy said at one point uh when johnny cash was filming the commercials

he went out and he uh got a cup of coffee at a tim hortons it was just sitting in the tim hortons and nobody bothered him because everybody assumed that it was a guy who just looked like yeah why would johnny cash why would johnny cash be in canada drinking and coffee so anyways that blew my mind because i you know i guess that was it was a time before, you know. Paparazzi. Yeah, well, before the internet. Because, you know, you could do ads somewhere and they wouldn't drift across the border.

Like, Bea Arthur used to do ads for Shopper's Dog Mart. Really? Yeah. Do you not remember that? No. Well, maybe. It's the only reason I shop there. Still to this day.

They got me when I was young. B. Arthur was the way to target kids. When you said that, I was like, why do I shop there? I really thought about it. You're all mod fans? I have a points reward card there that's racked up a pretty impressive total what does it get you uh i don't know points points that i can brag about i don't know i don't know what they are good for actually maybe i can buy a cosmetic oh sure yeah you should get some of that

oh i saw it when i was on the last flight i took i'd never actually seen this in person but uh the uh flight attendant had tattoos on her hands that had been covered up with cosmetics so you knew well i i was on the uh sitting at the back of the plane so i guess by the time she handed out enough waters and coffees i could see them yeah because uh uh what was her name isn't cat von d yeah she was a big proponent yeah um i guess if you get a tattoo that's on the the hands or the face you should get a tattoo so you can use your points yeah absolutely um yeah probably if i uh make it to being an old man i'll get some crazy tattoo on my face. Who cares? Tattoo artists don't want to do hands or faces, I think. Is that right?

It's my money. They'll really try to talk you out of it. Mm-mm. Unless you have other... I think it's unless you have other tattoos. Like, if you're just going straight to the fingers. You got any tats? No, no. No? Would you ever? Clean body. I don't know.

Maybe, maybe not. Probably not. Yeah, I want to be buried in a Jewish cemetery, so that's why I got it. Oh, right. Oh, you can't tattoos? No.

Oh, sorry, Kat Von D. Just waiting to find the right girl. So I can convert. Do we want to move on to Overheard? Sure. Oh, no. I'm Jesse.

I'm Jordan. And we've been doing Jordan, Jesse, Go! for almost 10 years now. And it's not gotten any easier to describe. So we asked our fans to do it for us. Jordan, Jesse, Go! is a weekly conversation with two best pals, two hilarious friends, So we asked our fans to do it for us. serious conversation between you and your best pals. It's a show that makes me laugh every week, which is pretty rare and wonderful. It might be the best thing on the internet. One of the funniest things you will hear. And it's the best part of my week.

And has kept me company for the past seven years through all sorts of life. I love those guys. That's Jordan Jesse Go, the comedy podcast that's been named Best of iTunes. Every Monday on MaximumFun.org or your favorite podcasting software. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. The great questions of your life.

Great questions of your life. Should you put ketchup on a hot dog? Put ketchup on a hot dog. Toilet paper over or under toilet paper. Star Wars or Star Trek or Star Trek? Fear not, my friends. Mark and Hal always reach the definitive answer. Simply listen to We Got This with Mark and Hal every Tuesday at 9 p.m. Pacific on Maximum Fun. We got this. Your better self is right around the corner. Namaste.

Overheard. Overheard is a segment in which we hear things out there in the world, and then we report them back here on the podcast. Now, Taz, you were like, you forgot. You forgot all about this segment. I did. But you powered through, and you feel like you have something. I thought about things I've seen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all it needs to be. It doesn't need to be anything fancy. Nope. But we always do like to start with the guests. Okay, yeah. That's all it needs to be. It doesn't need to be anything fancy. Nope. But we always do like to start with the guests. Okay. If you would. Have you guys ever been to Harrison Hot Springs?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yep. Natural hot water springs. Yeah. Yeah, that's pumped into a hotel. Yeah, yeah. It smells very sulfury. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Natural warmth, though. Real nice. Went up there And they have like Public pools Where kids can go And then there's the

Private adult area Yeah And at night It's open till one Went there at night Is this In the hotel or In the hotel yeah

And it's private Adult It's well it's adults only Is there alcohol served No Okay Is it where things go Also no bottles Oh right No bottles allowed As well as adults only. Is there alcohol served? No. Okay. Is it anything's go?

Also no bottles. Oh, right. No bottles allowed. No glass bottles. And this isn't specific to this time. I've seen this before where people, it's just like couples in there. Yeah. And like someone will be like floating another, another, their partner. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Very holistic. And this time when I went with my girlfriend, we saw there was just this couple, sort of a nice older couple, who were just spinning. And I guess water dancing. Oh, wow. But very close, and just

spinning, and they never acknowledged anyone else. And they had spun for like anyone else. And they had spun for like 15 minutes. Maybe they got very good at hot dogs. And they went off

into a corner and just sort of muttered to each other. Yeah. Like we, yeah, that was our first dance. Yeah.

I think they were either having an affair or rekindling. That's the reason you go to Harrison Hot Springs. And you were going to, why were you there?

Well, this is the first year of relationships. So you're still fun. You're rekindling when you're in the first month. Yeah. We were, we were trying to make it work. Renewing your vows.

Yeah. Um, I think a lot of people are having affairs out there up in the hot springs. Yeah. I think it's cheap. You can get group bonds. Yeah. It's like a,

a pretty, it's far enough away can get Groupons. Yeah, it's like a pretty... It's far enough away from anyone. What about a Groupon site just for philanderers? Like kind of Ashley Madison meets Groupon. So if you can find enough people who are cheap. What do you... What kind of stuff can you usually get Groupons for? Like frozen yogurt.

Yeah. Beard papas. Yeah, like a laser tag. And skin tag. Skin tag removal. Orard papas. Yeah, like a laser tag. And skin tag. Skin tag removal. Or skin tag addition. Very unpopular. What kind of, which of those activities would you do with a woman you were choosing?

Laser tag. Sure. Couple's laser tag. Secret couple laser tag. No, I get couple skin tags. Oh, sure. Oh, yeah, I get matching skin tags. Yeah, You just shave

Like half a heart Yeah Dave do you have An overheard Boy I guess Mine was At a

I went to The walk-in clinic Because in Canada We have free healthcare But if you want to Go to your family doctor You have to wait like six weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because there's no appointment. So I went one morning and this is on me for judging. Sure. But if a couple walks in at eight in the morning to a free clinic, they're getting the morning after pill in my mind. Yeah. I later found out, you can just get it at the pharmacy. to a free clinic, they're getting the morning after pill in my mind. Yeah. Um, I later found out you can just get it at the pharmacy. You don't need a prescription.

Oh yeah. But don't you have to like convince the pharmacist? Look at this guy. I don't want this guy's baby. And look at him. You think he knows how to put on a condom correctly? So I said, so I was there and, um, it was a long wait. I i said so i was there and um it was a long

wait i got there the moment it opened and it was still i waited for an hour and a half uh next to this couple who i assumed wrongly was there for the morning after bill well i don't know but i really misjudged these people because they were they had a 90 minute conversation about ancient Sanskrit texts and the emergence of Sanskrit literary criticism. Oh wow. So they're academics. Yeah. Yeah, but academics can still

Sure. They can still Yeah, exactly. Get them up in the stacks there in the library. Yeah. Break a condom. Oh absolutely. Yeah. Oh boy boy especially if they're using old sanskrit ones ancient condoms oh boy yeah they seem to be phd candidates well good for them you know maybe if they have they have a baby maybe it'll be smart maybe it'll be dumb it's hard to tell dumb. It's hard to tell. Genetics is a crazy

mistress. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I hope they're not a couple. Because I just like... It's like, can you imagine their dinner party? Yeah, exactly. Imagine their kids.

Hopefully we won't have to if they get that pill. They found each other. Yeah. Well, there's something to that. Just like the couple in the pool. Yeah, the spinning couple. So they were spinning together like dancing stuff. Yeah.

When you said it first, I thought they were just standing next to each other spinning. Yeah, they were dervishing separately. Oh, I thought they were like face down and then spinning face up and face down. Like, you know, spinning in a grave. Like a washing machine? Like someone, he must be spinning in his grave. Now, Graham, do you have an overheard? Yeah, it's not

great, but I was at a diner eating and there was a lady talking to her friend very loudly. We were the only three people in the diner, so it was like, hush tones could have been her friend. uh no she was talking she's talking so vividly about her workout routine uh you know we do this and the kettle weights and i do this and i'm up to 117 pounds on this thing and uh then her friend kind of at the the end of a long explanation of these workouts, said, so how often do you do this?

And she goes, oh, no, that was two years ago. So it was this vivid description. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, but I don't do that anymore. Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, God. I like to brag about my past workouts, too.

Oh, boy. Oh, that one day. Oh, boy. I was really fast at climbing the rope when I was 14. I wasn't actually. You need a lot of upper body strength. Did you do Canada Fitness Challenge? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. What'd you get? Usually excellent. Oh, wow. That's above gold. What were all the... I have two bronze and a silver. I don't think that I ever did it.

I don't think. No. I mean, we had to do it, but we never got a thing. It could be a little thing you could put on your members only jacket. It would have been, you would have done a distance run, a sprint. Push-ups. Push-ups, sit-ups. Chin-ups.

You have to do the hold. Like get up on a bar and hold yourself up. I think it was just chin-ups. It wasn't a hold. Oh, okay. I remember doing one where you just had and hold yourself up? I think it was just chin-ups. It wasn't a hold. Oh, okay. I remember doing one where you just had to hold yourself up. Maybe. And it was charted out.

Like if you did this many push-ups, you qualified to be excellent. Oh. Yeah, there was no rope climbing. No. It's weird that rope climbing is only offered in schools and not in any gym. When you go to a gym, there's not just a rope offered in uh the rotc episode of saved by the bell um and american gladiators and american ninja warrior yeah it seems like something that you probably a navy seal could do there must be ropes in gyms

i've never have you ever seen when's the last time you went to a gym? A couple years ago. Same amount of time as that lady. In gymnasiums, there's ropes. Yeah. Yeah. But if you, as an adult, wanted to go just climb up a rope. I think you need to sign up for adult gym beret class. Or parkour. Or parkour.

Up the bingo. What do you have a stake in this company? People tell me all the time to piss up a rope. Is that anything? Yeah. I mean, it's not an exercise. That's recreational. Okay. It's better than pissing on the ground i guess i don't know it's like there's some expressions that i don't know the i mean they all mean the same thing

they all mean go fuck yourself but i don't know what like hey go pound sand means oh yeah that's a term yeah i thought it was is it mean take a walk pound pants pound sand means? Oh, yeah. That's a term? Yeah. I thought it was, is it? You mean take a walk? Pound sand up your butt. Oh, really? That's what I thought it was. Yeah, like pound sand.

I've never heard it. Sand. So are all of these things just like you're taking out up your butt at the end? Like, you know, piss up a rope? Up your butt.

Up your butt. Or bite me. Up the butt. Up the butt. If you would. Now, we also have overheard sent into us From people around the world If you want to send one in to us You can send it in to sby at maximumfun.org

The world? Yeah the world All over the world This first one comes from Kendra Somewhere in the United States Because she was at Trader Joe's A woman was shopping with her two sons, about seven and nine years old. They were roughhousing while she browsed.

I guess the roughhousing got to be too much for one of the boys because all of a sudden he shouted, that's it, I'm going to cyberbully the crap out of you, nerd. Yeah, that's the thing you can do to your brother now. You shouldn't tell him ahead of time though yeah I'm gonna catfish you I mean

you're gonna fall in love um yeah you can but you can't go from getting beaten up to the cyber

yeah that's the escalation or maybe not maybe now that's the new threat yeah the beating up is just the cursory

and then cyberbullying is where you move it to. I feel like if you're victimized in the real bully world, you'll also be victimized. You can't swap it. Oh, you can't pick one or the other? I don't think so. I'd love to. I'd love to pick. Oh, what would I pick?

Probably physical world. You'd like to be a bully there? No, i'd rather be bullied in the real world because then when i get home it's like it's over man i can now i could take it easy and watch and then you get physically that would hurt it would hurt but uh you know cyber bullying emotionally yeah i would like to be bullied in the real world and then and then in the cyber world bully the lawnmower man just because i'm afraid if he bullied me get lawn mode if if somebody at a virtual reality content company is not making the lawnmmower Man experience. You are fucking up.

This next one comes from John C. This is somebody at work. Yeah, John C. Reilly. I didn't want to say his last name. Somebody at work. Is it John Cena, the famous wrestler, I'm told? No, it's John C. Reilly. Somebody at work.

John Coltrane? Duh. Somebody at work talking about a restaurant uh explaining it as they do tapas only bigger no meals yeah just regular restaurant yeah uh either you guys fans of the tapas it's like one thing at a time? Sharing. It depends. If it's the two of us, it's fine. Yeah. But I don't want to be sharing. A whole group?

Yeah. I want some. You don't want to share your ceviche? I don't want someone grabbing at my. I'm picturing. Grabbing at my calamari. I'm picturing like pizza pockets. There's a real nice restaurant

we picked at. But I'm just worried about a plate getting to the table. There's six of something on the plate and there's seven of us and by the time

it makes its way down to me. How often do you go to dinner with seven people? But I used to go to All You Can Eat Sushi and that would happen all the time. Yeah, and also

But you can just get more at All You Can Eat Sushi. No, because these... But you can just get more at all you can eat. No, because these guys were bottomless pits at the end where the waitress was. I see. And like, what if you order a tap a dish and you love it and then, you know, then you're like,

I want more than just the one of that. You can order it again. Or just for yourself. Yeah. There's no rule. You can just have that. But then when you're splitting a bill at the end of the night Oh boy

This last one Comes from Michael R In Denver I was at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science The other day I passed by a kid who was looking at a display Of a taxidermied goat Who said, wow, just like in

Goat Simulator at a display of a taxidermied goat who said wow just like in goat simulator a real that's a real live a real dead goat dead goat um have you guys ever played i haven't have you yeah i just watched other people play it on youtube it's enough for me. Yeah, it's a good, the title really hooks you. Yeah, and then it is exactly what you think. A walk around being a goat. Yeah, you get up on a shed. Is there tasks? Yeah, you like eat a thing.

Sit down, have a nap. Let a kid milk you. Yeah. Do you have side missions? Yeah, side missions. Yeah, and there's gyms, training gyms for the goat. With ropes. Oh, yeah.

And you can go into a comedy club and Ricky Gervais is there. I was in one of the Grand Theft Autos. Oh, man. You can listen to all the goat radio stations in your goat car. Oh, I think that's Jason Sudeikis' voice. It's probably all Jim Brewer.

In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 1-844-SPY-POD1. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod1. Like these people have. Hi there, Dave Graham and illustrious guests. This is Michael calling from Long Island, New York with an overheard.

My wife and I were at an open house and we're up on the second floor of the house where a mother and her child were also going through to see if they might like to purchase the home. And the kid burst out of one of the bedrooms and yelled, Mom, Mom, you were right. There is enough room for my hemorrhoid mirror. Thanks, guys. Have a great day. Why does a kid have a hemorrhoid mirror? And also a follow-up question. I'll just take a little too inspect, I guess. Yeah, I guess.

But should kids get hemorrhoids? I mean, this kid... Yeah, I think I had them when I was a kid. I think this is a spoiled kid. I think also... Don't you get them from sitting on concrete or something? I got them from coughing. What?

I was like sick and I coughed too much. It hurt your butt? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, because you clench when you cough. You were really skinny. I was also skinny. That would do it, yeah. Yeah?

A little bit of padding in there. Yeah. A little cushion for the coughing. I remember my mom told me and I started crying because I didn't realize like this is just a thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. I'm like, oh, no. It is just a thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. I'm like, oh no. It's a funny thing.

Yeah. It is. It's still, yeah, it's one of the ailments we can all have a laugh at. I thought it was like cancer or something. Oh no, it's just hemorrhoids. Where do you put a hemorrhoid mirror?

On the floor? On the ceiling and then you do a handstand. I used to use a hand mirror. Yeah, oh yeah, to get to know your body. Yeah, to just, you know, explore my roids. Have you ever gone to an open house? I did not know where that's in.

Have you ever gone to a hemorrhoid museum? Hemorrhoid viewing? An open sore? No, I don't think I have. Oh, maybe I have. Yeah. Because I've had friends who've sold their houses and I've just gone for chips. Yeah, like, well, I just want to make it seem like there's high demand for this house.

Because even though now technically I'm the age of a person who could buy a house, I don't have the wherewithal, but I see them. I see open houses and it never occurs to me like, well, they can't tell me I'm not allowed in. Yeah, there's a ton of, like, you wouldn't know someone who could afford a house based on how they looked. No, that's true. Yeah. There's a lot of tech. Anyone could walk in, right?

Yeah. You could be an eccentric billionaire. Yeah, if I wore a ponytail and some giant shoulder pad, like a jacket with... No, just shoulder pads. You work in the tech industry. You're fine. Yeah. But it's...

You're allowed to go, I guess, into any room. There's no room where they're like, No, you can't haul our garbages in this room. I performed in a show house once. What's a show? What's that mean? It's like they make up to look like the condo you're going to buy. Oh, yeah.

The one that was on Broadway in Maine there. What did you do in it? We were doing a corporate Christmas party. Oh, okay. You weren't pretending like, this is what it would look like if you lived here. No, they wanted us. The guy wanted us to pretend that we were the people complaining, like the local hipsters that were complaining about this high-rise that's going up,

called Rise, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah. He was like, yeah, come out and say you're these guys. Like, no, you hired us just to do an improv show. And he still introduced us. You've been hearing from them, and they're here to talk to you from the council. And then we came out like, we're just doing an improv show.

We're just doing an improv show. Hello. Hello. And they were all dressed up in disco gear. It was a disco theme. Oh, boy. There was a lot of stuff going on.

Yeah. I stained one of the show counters with a Jiffy marker writing the set list. It was just a show counter. Yeah. I put a fake bowl of fruit over top of it

and we left. I wonder what happens to those. It's torn down now. Oh, they just tear them down. I put a fake bowl of fruit Over top of it And we left I wonder what happens To those It's torn down now Oh they just Tear them down It's a parking lot again Oh that's right

It was in a parking lot Yeah the Yeah they must just Throw everything away Yeah I was worried about That counter I ruined But not anymore

Except maybe the appliances But yeah Yeah Huh All that That's a lot of effort though To build a fake room and then destroy it. I hope everybody's fake. I mean, if you're building 200 of these rooms, what's 201?

Yeah, that's true. But I think, wouldn't you be like, oh, that one's just going to get destroyed? Take some shortcuts. Yeah, I think there was some shortcuts. Yeah. Plumbing probably wouldn't work. It wasn't a real stove, maybe. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Plumbing probably doesn't work. Although, how good is that for sure? What is it in the water? Great. Yeah. Fake flat screen, classic. Oh, yeah, yeah.

The toilet's real though, right? I need an answer. Here's your next phone call. Hi, Dave Graham and probably guests. This is Sam in Colorado calling in with an overburden. Sam in Colorado. I was driving through a parking lot at a park, and there was a kid running towards a car with his family,

kind of running ahead, and he yelled, Yes! Finally somewhere soft and fun! Thanks, guys. Running to the car. Somewhere soft and fun. A bouncy castle. Yeah. Somewhere, a hemorrhoid pillow.

A hemorrhoid museum. Hard-edged park. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a place with all angles. I, yeah. Pointy trees. I, as a father now, the parks, the playgrounds are a lot easier on the kids falling down. Oh, yeah.

Now. In our day. Yeah. Because they've got a lot of them have that sort of padded foamy ground. Oh yeah.

And I just remember like falling off. We had wood chips. Yeah. Wood chips. My vivid memory is someone spinning me around in an inner tube

swing. Tire swing. And falling off and, like, feeling like I was going to barf and then just getting wood slivers

all in my hand. You guys had wood chips. We had gravel. Yeah. Also gravel. We also had gravel. We had gravel, too. But gravel

was an invitation to rock fights, which happened every recess. Yeah. And, uh, was, uh, regularly addressed at the assemblies. The, uh, Oh, snow happened every recess. Yeah. And was regularly addressed at the assemblies.

The snow days and gravel. Absolutely. Big, big. Yeah. You just do one final roll through the gravel to kind of. You hear Jerry got hit in the eye with a gravel ball. Yeah. He's dead now.

Hemorrhoid Jerry. Yeah. He got hit in the butt with a cripple ball. Yeah, he gave me his mirror. In the will. It's living will. Did you ever, because let me tell you, it's still a big thing with kids. Pick up a handful of gravel, put it at the top of the slide, watch it go down.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Motion. Yeah. But I don't know what the physics, like, why is gravel better than... Pee? Anything else? Yeah.

Oh, maybe for pee or vomit. Maybe it's easier to just scoop it out. Yeah, like kitty litter. Yeah. That makes sense. We got to the bottom of it. Here's your final overheard. Sand was the worst.

Like, sand. Hi, Davey Graham. I just drove past the skate park in my town and it's, uh, it's closed and there's a big sign

that says closed. Kids, be cool. Don't go in fenced areas. Kids do need to be told. Be cool. Be cool, kids. kids don't go into fenced area that's a good play is making going into the fenced area seem uncool because going into the fenced area is the cool

theatrical play yeah going into the fenced area oh sure i loved it. On Broadway. The Be Cool, the musical. That was with John Travolta? Yeah. It was a skate park? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I just put up a sign in it. Those skateboarders will obey it. You know what? Those skateboarders are going to take that sign down, put some wheels on it, skate all over town.

Did you guys ever urban explore when you were kids? Climb fences? Yeah, like go into a construction site. Absolutely. Yeah. No. No? No.

Never went into a construction site? You're a good boy. I'm afraid. Yeah. Not me. That was like one of the first Degrassis. When a kid fell in a construction site. Like kids of Degrassi Street.

Oh, the very original original. Didn't stop me probably only encouraged you a little bit i didn't even like going into my neighbor's yard if the ball went over the fence i was afraid i'd get yelled see that i would be more reluctant to do because i i have to live next to that neighbor but a construction site guy would be like you kids get out of there and i'll be like he doesn't know who I am. Giggle and run. Yeah. Even if you know the neighbor and they're nice. I don't know. It's weird.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to see me crawling over their fence. Just go through the gate. No. There was when I was, you know, riding on a BMX bike age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a big development being done. And that was like fenced off.

But if you got, you could throw your bike over and ride around on the like dunes. Oh, cool. So much fun. Very cool. So dangerous. Oh, it's like a Huffy, Kuwahara? Oh, Kuwahara. Okay.

Yeah, absolutely. I had a BRC. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stolen. What did you have? Do you have one? A Constrictor. Cool.

It was from Sears. Yeah. Uh, you know, mine was a secondhand from some kid down the street. It had, it had pads around all the bars. Mine was secondhand from me after it was stolen.

Oh no. Did you forget to lock it up or did they steal it out of your, your, there was no forgetting. This was, this was, uh, when I was a kid,

I, the concept of someone stealing a bike out of our carport never crossed my mind. Yeah. I used to wear my chain lock around my torso. Kind of like one of those bullet things. Like Indiana Jones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Chewbacca.

Or like a beauty pageant. Yeah, exactly. Or a mirror. Those locks, you could just yank on them and they would snap. They were very skinny. But so was I. Was the skinny looking. The plastic, blue plastic.

Yeah, over top. To stop any kind of chain cutters. Unsawored activity. Because we wrapped it in saran wrap. I had one friend that he taped his all with hockey tape. So he had like a tough black tape on his chain.

Tough kid. Yeah, he was the toughest kid. He wasn't afraid of his neighbor. No, no, no. In fact, the inverse is true. The neighbor peeked out the blinds oh no i hope dave's not out there oh no my uh my grown-up thing yeah my newspaper went over the fence my uh series of silver balls that swing back and forth went over the fence my all my paperweights. My various paperweights.

For my windy, windy office. I work at Dyson. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Taz, do you have anything coming up in the month of October that you would like to plug? Oh, no. No special one-offs? I don't think so. We're doing our regular show every Sunday at the Fox Cabaret.

What's that called? 9 p.m. Sunday service. Oh. Doors at 730. It's a can't miss, that show. Yeah, it's a fun one. Every time I've been, it's always fun. Yeah, it's pretty good.

And it's always packed. Yeah. You guys pack them in. People keep showing up. We're happy about that. Yeah. And always fun guests. Yeah.

You've been on. You're happy about that. Yeah, and always fun guests. You've been on. You've never been on. I did a thing once. I guess, yeah, we've been doing it for 10 years. Oh, since you've been at the Fox, I've been on at least once. On our show? I did a, to help Ryan promote

Weird Al Karaoke, I did a song once. That's right. Come back again. And we were there when they declared a day Sunday service day. Oh, yeah.

Oh, right. Yeah. The mayor came. Yeah. The old cosmic zoo. Yeah, yeah. Which is still a place.

Well, it's not the zoo anymore. It's a fancy 7-Eleven now. But you guys moved into this Fox Theater much bigger. Still pack it out every week. Yeah. No, we're very grateful.

We don't know how it works, but people keep showing up. Because you're good. That's why. Sure, sure. Thanks for being a guest. Thanks for having me. And you folks out there, if you like the show. Well, first of all, if you're in edmonton or saskatoon boy come

on out get those tickets we'll be there this weekend we're gonna be in victoria on the 22nd get tickets for that as well we're gonna have so much fun well we are yeah absolutely yeah regardless of the future no matter where we go we have fun dave and i are gonna go to the hemorrhoid museum in each of your cities so if you want to do a meetup, that's where we'll be during the day. That's what I call the Ripley's believe it or not. I don't believe it. I don't believe that I'm looking at,

uh, the Harry Houdini's. Sir, it's a mirror. Um, and if you like the show, head over to maximum fun.org, check out the blog recap pictures and videos relating to the content

of this podcast. Maybe Arthur. Or Alfie. Alfie. Or the other Arthur. Surely, maybe the Johnny Cash commercial.

Oh, yeah. Give it to me. So weird. And, yeah, thanks a lot for listening. If you want to leave a review on iTunes, that always helps us out

and if you like the show please tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.