Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 449 - Dave Merheje

Episode Date: October 24, 2016

Comedian Dave Merheje joins us to talk border towns, diaper disasters, and auditions.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 449 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who is, we're not enjoying this hot day, but it's going to be a stormy night tonight. And oh boy, is he going to get into that in a big way, Mr. Dave Shumka.

It's not that hot. It's hotter outside than it is inside. Yeah. Like I had the back door open and I'm a little chilly Yeah But tonight it's going to storm up But it's going to be a hot storm Oh no, really?

Yeah, yeah Steamy? Steamy storm That's my wrestling name I'm not good at wrestling But I always wear these goggles that are steamed up Yeah, you just come out in a towel With the hot rocks.

And our guest today, today, today, is also a fan of... Uh-oh, Graham, what's wrong? Something's broken in my head. He's also a fan of wrestling. He's a very funny comedian. And the co-host of his own podcast, Idea Hamster, Mr. Dave Merhaj is our guest. Hamsters? Hamsters. Hamsters.sters hamsters i didn't

mean it i uh yeah i came out i thought i came off like mean or mean when i said that hamsters you know no no no you gotta i don't want to be like that guy yeah no be that guy yeah be that guy maybe that's my problem yeah yeah because uh because i was wrong i was uh i was close but at least they didn't say thought Guinea Pig or something like that. No, and it's only been two episodes. So I feel there's room to make error. That's true. In my mind.

Yeah. It's like when it was The Facebook and then it just changed to Facebook. Sure. Right? Oh, I didn't even know it was The Facebook. Have you not seen The Social Network? Oh, I have. Or no, it changed to just Social Network.

Yeah, but I didn't really. I'm bad at that, man. Sometimes I'll watch a movie twice, and then I just won't pick up on key scenes. And then I embarrass myself, like, in these situations. It all comes back. What do you remember from the social network? I don't think I remember very much. Oh, my favorite part is Justin Timberlake's part when he's having sex with that girl.

But she's like, what do you do? And he goes, sex with that girl. But she's like, what do you do? And he goes, I invented Napster. But it was so awesome because he fell from grace, but he was still getting girls. I like that moment. I think that girl is the girl from is she maybe

the girl from Fifty Shades of Grey? Oh. That small part. Here's the thing. Woman, pardon me. I'm with her I feel like the guy who invented Napster

could still use that line to pick up ladies oh yeah right like that's still enough of a thing

to be famous but there was a famous guy who invented Napster who was that who was like oh boy. What was, who did Justin Timberlake play? He played the, wasn't he the unfamous?

Or maybe he was the famous guy. I think he was the famous guy. He was the business guy. Right. Because there was the tech guy who was like, he did a bunch of cameos. He was in the Italian job. Oh, that's hilarious. Oh, really?

The real guy? That's hilarious. Oh, really? The real guy? That's hilarious. Oh, man. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. So, Dave, you're visiting town. You're from Los Angeles.

Well, you're living in Los Angeles. I live in there, yeah. Where are you from originally? Windsor, Ontario. Nice. Yeah. What is the thing to do in Windsor, Ontario. Nice. Yeah. What is the thing to do in Windsor, Ontario? Like what's it famous for?

I don't really know. Is it famous for being south of Detroit? I think it is. It's like more of like a border town and then now it's the casino and it's just like for people to come over and get drunk. I think that was- From America. From America and us too, but we partake in that abuse of alcohol. Because they couldn't drink at a certain age.

Right. Oh, right. Right. Theirs was 21, so they're- I was here at 19. 19. Yeah. So they'd come over and you'd get people from Ohio to come over.

And it was just, that strip downtown was so busy before, I think, the motor companies all took kind of a hit. Oh, right. The city kind of went downhill. But before, it was like, man, it was like, it of a hit. Oh, right. He kind of went downhill, but before it was like, man, it was like, it was like, it was a time.

What was the, what was the bar that everybody went to? Uh, there was too many. I'm trying to remember what bar I was. I would go, I think Don cherries with Don cherries. I think it was the urban one.

It was weird. He's an urban guy. It was like a lot of Middle Eastern dudes. Was it a proper bar or was it a restaurant? There was, no, it was a proper bar

and then downstairs. We were going to Wayne Gretzky's. Yeah. Because you go in and you're like, this is not what John Cherry would want.

That's what I thought. Yeah. They misinterpreted his living will. This is not what he was in the blueprint. He must be rolling over in his grave right now. Because my dad Yeah. They misinterpreted his living will. This is not what he... This is not what is... It was in the blueprint. He must be rolling over in his grave right now.

Because my dad was a big hockey fan. He loves Toronto. So we'd watch Don Cherry during the intermission. Yeah. So then when I got older, I'm going to this bar. I go, man, this old dude did not want... Because downstairs, it was a place called Room 112. Okay.

And it was just like, you'd go in, it was just smoke. And it was just dudes and girls from go in, it was just smoke and it was just dudes and girls from Detroit that would be partying downstairs. Was Don Cherry also there? No, I would have been crazy, man. That would have been the best.

He would have been there. He's like, this is what I really like. I feel if he had an affection for Tupac Shakur. He might. He was always there with a bandana.

He was a Biggie guy, I think. Yeah, there he is. You know, yeah, I feel he liked Biggie's I think yeah there he is you know yeah I feel he liked Biggie's rhyming

and he would just say Tupac couldn't rap as good as Biggie and that would cause a debate between him and his friend I would like to hear Ron McClain

just in a huge fight I would love if the two like intermission commentators in hip hop were just like we disagree on a lot of things, especially East Coast, West Coast, 90s rap. I want to see that.

I feel every commercial break they did that. They just really got into it over that. It's weird, though, that just when there's a bunch of people partying on a street, the best bar doesn't become the bar that everybody goes to. No, there wasn't really like, in my mind, I can't remember a particular bar that was insane. Because it was such a, everyone was benefiting. Every bar was winning. There was a Bentley's, but Bentley's I felt like was kind of. That sounds upper crust

yes and that's what it was you saw I think I saw a lot of polo shirts there so you walk by you're like

I don't know if I want to go I'm not wearing my polo shirt they just give you something to clip onto your t-shirt what is

the party strip here is Granville Street yeah it was like that and what is the main one is there a main one is itville street. Yeah. It was like that. And what is the, the main one? Is there a main one? Is it the rocks?

I'd be like the Roxy is always, always has a big lineup in front of it. Public. Yeah. The Republic. It was like, that's the one that mostly I've gone to. Yeah.

And then there's like other bars that like, there's that one that's called like venue. And there's often name to be determined uh we'll just that'll be a placeholder until we come up with until don cherry puts his name on there's a few like former uh movie theaters that just became clubs and they kept the name of the movie theater scotia bank theater oh that'd be awesome i want to go to the scotiabank club yeah it's the only club that has stadium seating and like nacho cheese pumps oh man i love nacho cheese pump like uh we can't take those out those are load-bearing

nacho cheese part of the architecture um yeah but there's always just like a club that ends up being whatever, for whatever reason. It has the cheapest drink. A Reactor. And Windsor was Reactor. It was Reactor and it was like a lot of fights. Windsor just had a lot of fights.

I don't want to throw shade at that particular bar. Sure. Is it still there to this day? No, we laugh about that that one was there's not it looks it looks bad not bad but like

it isn't as popular the loop was always the loop was like alt before it was alt they didn't know I feel it was gonna be

an alt bar what does that mean like it's alty it's like all the people that are like man I don't wanna get punched in the face by some

UFC guy so it's just a mishmash. There's a couple of goths. It's like S&M and craft beer. Yeah, they played Prince and people would lose it. God, it's my favorite Prince song. I liked it. You can play Prince at any club, though.

But just the way the Prince was danced to there was much more of an appreciation. Like people that maybe had actually taken dance lessons? Yeah. And it wasn't like, I don't want to say, can I say sluts? I appreciation. Like people that maybe had actually taken dance lessons? Yeah. And it wasn't like, I don't want to say, can I say sluts? I don't know if I'm allowed to swear.

Sure. Sluts. I just, yeah, they weren't like, eh, like, you know,

sluts dance to certain songs. I'm learning a lot. These women seem to have some sense of class. You're kind of a pickup artist yourself, right? Maybe not at all.

You're nagging the whole gender. That's? Me? Not at all. Not at all. You're nagging the whole gender. That's how you, and then you. I was such an idiot. This girl I used to work with every day, not every day, but she was like,

oh, you got a pair? I was like, oh yeah. She's like, do you got an extra one? I go, no.

And then she asked me that four times in a row. So then I just, at one point I go, hey man, what's the deal? I'm like, do you want me to bring in a pair? Like, I don why you keep asking about this pair thing it's just really making me feel weird and she goes i'm trying to flirt that's nice yeah so she has four days in a row or four

like within four minutes yeah how's that extra pair going yeah yeah i could really go for a pair right now we dated man for a bit yeah nice but yeah I'm not good at picking up oh I love that

I'm trying to flirt yeah I was you were super mad I got too many of those stories see I don't I think I don't pick up on it

and then the girl's like yeah I'm just not that I think it happens to me a lot but on on a couple occasions afterwards i'm like yeah yeah i think maybe i could have i think i could have had a conversation at the very least i think that's just not good i don't i don't know i'm just not aware sometimes i'm aware probably i'm in my own head but like i'm not like oblivious to it like we're playing stupid i'm just

like i don't read the cues as properly as other guys can or maybe it's not on my mind yeah to pounce i don't know that's a bad word to you but but sluts i just wanted to use the word sluts i haven't used it in a long time yeah it's uh it's it's gone it's it's gone out of vogue Remember the TV show Studs? No Was it a dating show on Fox? And it was early 90s And it would just be like Like

It was all in studio And these guys went on dates with these girls And what happened? And they had like saucy answers Oh yeah yeah You know we bumped uglies And knocked boots I don't

I guess in a place like Los Angeles I understand it a bit more But on dating shows What's the end game? Is it that you're trying to get laid Or is it that you're getting a TV credit? Why do people continue to participate? There was a dating show on the Comedy Network in Canada,

and I knew a dude that went on there. Maybe a couple of guys. And one, I think he's an actor. Right. So I think he was just going on to just maybe practice acting, I guess, or get a credit. Sure. And then there's other people.

I think they're not oblivious, but they're just like, man, I just want to get laid. That person, I love that person. Yeah. They just have no, they don't want to shine. They're like, I'm just trying to get some girls. Yeah. Like if I answer the questions right on the thing, then we can go to the steakhouse together.

Yeah, they're really into it. So I give them props. There's a new, newest show, I think on Global, a Canadian show. Yeah. Where a bunch of couples, like it's all one night at a restaurant and they check in on different couples. And I've talked to some people who went on it and like, apparently you don't get paid for it. You get part of your bill paid. Part?

Well, they want the paying for the meal to be part of the date. Oh, right. So they want you to have to like, oh, he paid or we split or. Right. They want it to be authentic. Yeah. Or at least have someone reaching into their wallet. Yeah. To create tension. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Some slimy

executive off there. Well, and it all takes place in an in an Earl's? I don't know it's it's somewhere in yale town i know that because i watched an episode and past guest ryan williams was on it okay and he really hit it off with the lady that he went on the date with but i don't know if that was just because it was on tv or if that was actually what happened or they edited it so it looked like that was happening. I could see it in America going on to like

you know, I'm doing the rounds of all these reality shows but in Canada it's like what are you gonna what's next? Next I'm gonna be on border security. Yeah, that's a good show. That is a great show. That is a great show.

Border security, do you think that the people feel compelled to let them shoot that because it makes them seem more innocent? I've always wondered why somebody traveling would be like, yeah, yeah, you can film this. And sometimes they blur the person's face, so I guess they didn't agree to it. Right. But then they still use their whole situation. Boy, yeah. If you're in,

if you're, because some of them I saw, I'm like, man, they might be screwed. Like they're done. Like, you know,

it's over. Like, you know, it's done. So if I'm in that position, I feel maybe I might be like, hey man, it's already over. Right.

Let me just try to get some, like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Or maybe they'll say, we'll give you 200 bucks if you sign up. We don't know how defeated they were and what kind of, you know, that weak moment. Somebody might have been like, you don't do this.

I've got to put that 200 towards my fail. Yeah, I've been there where I've been jammed up at the border. And if somebody would have came with me to something, I might have been so vulnerable and been like so broken down. I might have made some stupid decision like that. What's your worst jammed up at the border? I used to get jammed up all the time

because I would cross from Windsor to Detroit but at the time I was just telling them you know, I'm going to watch a friend do comedy but I wasn't even,

I was doing open mics sometimes but I wasn't getting paid. That's hard to describe to the border guy because he didn't get it. He didn't know the workings of it.

So at one point it was a six month, nothing happened to me five months and this one dude goes i don't believe you man i go well i don't know what to tell you i'm like i'm going to watch a friend he goes no you must be performing i go yeah i've performed he goes oh yeah i go yeah i go but they didn't pay me he goes well he goes you're coming in he goes i need letters i need we need to talk to your promoter i go i don't have a promoter i'm not that good don't have a promoter. I'm not that good. If I had a promoter, I think I would be flying in as opposed to driving through. So the guy goes, you need to

get letters. You know, you need to get pay stubs to show that you're working in Canada. And I bring a pay stub. He goes, no, man. He goes, I need every week. I go, yes, I come with these stacks. And at one point I'm dealing with the same guy. And he goes, may you pay bills?

I go, and it's loud. Everyone can hear you. And there's other custom people are taking care of people. I go, nah, man, I kind of live with my mom. And then he goes, what? You live with your mom? How old are you? And I go, yeah.

Is your guidance counselor? I go, 24. And this lady, the other custom lady leans in. She goes, that is just not right. And I go, what the? Just heckling me? And I'm not even making this up. I swear to you.

The guy goes, well, man, then I guess you got to get a letter from your mom. I go, no. He goes, yeah, you're going to get a letter that says that you don't pay any bills. And she pays the bills. I had to go get my Lebanese mom to write a letter. And I had to bring it back thing that's ever happened a grown man yeah this is like like uh yeah the thanksgiving dinner where they're grilling you and you're like you're still doing the comedy thing how's that working out for

you i had too many of those stories then that's and then that's why part of and then i moved to toronto because i was like i can't keep crossing this border. And this was right after 9-11. So like before that you could kind of cross, you know, they'd still ask things, but it was just more, you know, you could, you could use your driver's license. Right. It was just so. Oh yeah. Yeah, man. It was so, we'd go over, my dad would always go over and get gas.

Like that was his thing. He's like, we're going to get gas. We're going to go to like, I think it was called Pace. It was by bulk. Yeah. It was great. And then we'd get Faggle Pop. That was so huge, I think it was called Pace. It was by bulk. Yeah, it was great. And then we'd get Fagopop. That was so huge to us as kids. Well, you were juggalos.

Ah, man, I didn't know. And I was. I'm not going to lie. No, I turned on ICP when Eminem went at him. I'm not going to lie. That was your out? That was my out, man. I was like, I'm with Em on this one.

I'll shoot paintballs at you guys too. Wait, what's that story? Oh, because Eminem goes, where were you guys when you ducked out from the club when we were shoot paintballs at you guys too. Wait, what's that story? Oh, because Eminem goes, where were you guys when you ducked out from the club when we were shooting paintballs at the car?

When I was a kid, I thought that was so dope. Then when I grew up, I go, man, that's paintballs? You couldn't get guns? I don't promote violence,

but why was I so into paintballs? Not even that aggressive. I don't know. Teens are into paintballs. They always will be. It's a fun prank. You'll ruin a guy's shirt. Oh, yeah.

Scare, scare the neighborhood cats and dogs. They bruise, apparently. I've never been hit by a ball. Oh, I have. They do. I've been in paintball. They bruise like crazy men. I just do laser tag.

I love, I'd rather do laser tag. To this day. There's one in Calgary man At a bowling alley Yeah And there's a comedy club in there You could do laser tag Do five minutes of No it's in Edmonton

Sorry I don't wanna Yeah I don't wanna give Calgary that I just think we probably have laser tag here Yeah I think there's one out Maybe out in the Burbs Out in the Burbs somewhere There's a laser tag

Yeah it's the better stuff I feel The Burbs? Yeah And you got a bowling You got a bowling lane here In Alley No Yeah we got We got commercial

We got one at Granville See that's amazing Yeah cause Yeah Toronto might have one It has one downtown But I don't know How a commercial looks like A real

I've been to one downtown A real bowling In Toronto Yeah it's not like A real bowling at Like I'm talking about It's underneath a sports bar too Yeah it's kinda like

It's a good It's a If you're If you're looking for A corporate company uh bonding that's all there is this is where you go i want a real bowling experience where there's like a yugoslavian guy that doesn't there's a loan that guy has no friends he's scary i like uh going uh and i've only done it once in my life going going on league night because then all the old people are there and they're matching outfits and stuff.

They mean business. And then if you're bowling, like if you're doing like the two-handed under between your legs, oh, they hate it. Why are you doing that? To make them hate it? Look how mad I am at this thing that you love. I'm on a date.

They hate it. Look how mad I am at this thing that you love. I'm on a date. They hate it. Have you ever been curling? Once. No, I haven't been. I'd love to try it. I want to try it. Yeah. There's a curling club.

There's a few spots. But yeah, we still have the Olympic curling one. It seems like it's the same level as... Well, maybe it's... I think maybe it's harder than bowling because you have to do... There's rolls. There's like...

Yeah. I think I've tried watching him. And? I've attempted. And? I never... It always would... 15 minutes and I'm like, I can't.

But I would purposely try to do it every time and I just couldn't do it. I wonder what it was like before they had that overhead camera. Oh, boy. To watch it. Br wonder what it was like before they had that overhead camera to watch it. Oh, brutal. It would have been brutal. Because they have the camera that moves with the rock.

Yeah, it would have been off to the side, presumably, and a guy following it. And then maybe down on the ground there was one. Oh, man, that sucks. I forgot about the overhead camera. That's the part I like. Yeah, it's what makes it a decent TV sport. It's kind of like, it's like darts a bit. Yeah.

Or billiards. Yeah. One of these slow TV sports where you can just hear people muttering for most of it. And you can wear slacks. Yeah. It's one of the few sports where you can And you can wear slacks. Yeah, it's one of the few sports where you can wear a pair of slacks. We just got back from Saskatoon

and Edmonton and I made a joke about how I could be a curler because I don't have a memorable face. Something like that. That's hilarious. And you guys performed at what venues? We were at CKUA in Edmonton.

The radio station. The radio station, kind of. Not atrium, but kind of a. Performance space, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's wicked. Yeah, and then in Saskatoon, we were in a place. A converted church that's like a theater now.

You called the refinery? Yeah. Yeah. And you guys have been touring, doing this podcast for a while, right? Yeah. Well, we don't tour very often. Well, yeah. We do a lot of shows here

and, well, you know, one a year. Are you touring? And then maybe two or three out of town every year. Yeah, somewhere else. You know what I like doing too is flipping in on the guys

where I interviewed. Yeah. Nice. Real good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks. Did you do that to the guys where I interviewed. Yeah. Nice. Real good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks. Did you do that to the border guards? Not at all.

You bring a letter proving to me. Where do you live? I think a Vancouver, where was it? Was it Vancouver, LA? The guy goes, what were you doing? I go, stand up.

He goes, oh. He goes, you make fun of customs? I thought he was joking. So I go, yeah. He goes, oh, he goes, you make fun of customs? I thought he was joking. So I go, yeah. He goes, wrong answer. Oh, no. I was like, who does that?

Yeah. It was wrong answer. I go, oh, what? And I was just fumbling. I was like, that's mean, man. Yeah. But what I meant to say was, yeah, I got 45 minutes on customs. meant to say was uh yeah i got 45 minutes on cost um when i when we were coming back from this uh

mini little tour uh i got the full airport they take everything out of the bags just you know that random like you've been selected and so they took every item out of the bag and uh they said what what are you doing i said comedian and then i had some stuff in there that was specifically for the podcast but it just made me look like a prop like a prop comedian because i had like i got a slide whistle and i had this like squeaking pork chop and then i had some stuff in my bag i forgot was in there like a mini harmonica and she's like what are you doing this? I'm like, I'm a prop comic, I guess. That's weird. Would you just say arrest me at that point?

No, I don't want to shit on prop comics, man. You're doing your thing. I don't know any. I don't know any either. I don't know. But I'm fascinated by them. Yeah, like just to carry the, like the Piff, the dragon guy. Yeah.

I'm just fascinated with like how much you got to stay in that costume like who is he he dresses like a dragon and he's got a little dog that's also dressed like a dragon and he's kind of this like like english like yeah and he's very of course of course he's english it would be weird if he was from my field tex. Yeah. I don't want that. My name's Piff. Y'all into magic. Isn't that way to be successful? You have to be English to do that. Yeah. Maybe Australian.

Maybe. Maybe. But there, no, man. Yeah. I think English is the. I met a guy who worked with Piff, was kind of like his personal assistant. And he told me the story of why he has the little dog. And basically it was,

he was dating a girl and, uh, she had to go out of town very suddenly. And she said, can you take care of my dog? And he had a show that night. So he just brought the dog on stage and he said, his act went from,

you know, a five to a 10, like just, he's like, I gotta get a dog. Like I gotta get a dog. Cause, uh, everybody loved that he had this dog and he put it on the stool and everybody thought it was so funny. a 10. He's like, I gotta get a dog. I gotta get a dog. Everybody loved that he had this dog and he put it on the stool and everybody thought it was so funny

and he kind of introduced it into the act. Did the dog bark? Nope, the dog just sat there. Does it talk? Yeah, but only if you ask a question like, what's on the top of a house? Roof!

That's a specific talking dog yeah and but yeah anyway that's I would I would hate

if that came out you know what I mean what like if that came like I don't know if he'd want that out like that guy that told you

too late I know it's too late but like if he heard it he's like oh man my secret because I thought it was a doper but like, if he heard it, he's like, oh man, my secret, because I thought it was a doper way

he brought the dog on. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, oh, I'm looking for like a crazy backstory. No,

I was way funnier with the dog. So bad. Yeah, he's like, my act was really like a two, and then it just skyrocketed to a 15, this magical dog. But I do, I worry for prop comics that like a two, and then it just skyrocketed to a 15. This magical dog. But I do worry for prop comics that travel a lot, especially by plane, that their props won't show up or their magic tricks won't show up.

And then do they have in reserve, like, I'll just go buy a pack of cards and I can like... I think they go into a pandas one comic. You can probably carry on cards, I think. Oh, yeah. Yeah, why is he checking in his cards? That would be great to check in your cards. This is not about prop comics, but a girl I dated back in the day, she got a job.

She comes out. She goes, I got this job driving Ronald McDonald around. What? I go, what? Like the actual Ronald McDonald? He goes, yeah, I take this job driving Ronald McDonald around. What? I go, what? Like the actual Ronald McDonald? He goes, yeah, I take him to events and stuff. I go, she's like, who is he? She goes, I can't tell you.

I signed something. I go, I'm like, well, just give me some kind of info. She goes, he's from Vancouver. I go, oh, okay, wicked. So she would drive him around events and bring the, it was like a white, the van home sometimes. And then she gets in, she was in the house and she goes, you're not going to believe what's in the van. I go, what? She goes, Ronald McDonald's wig.

I go, okay, I want to go put it on. She goes, they can't. It's in a, it's in a, like a box, like a bulletproof, like almost box. They protect it crazy. Like you would show up to like a briefcase full of cash. Yeah. That's how they keep it. And I'm like,

what? He goes, yeah, it's like very, they take care of them, but this is not funny. It shouldn't be funny, but she called me

and she was just panicking. She goes, oh my God. I go, what, what? Caroline, she goes,

I crashed the car with Ronald. He's dead. He's dead. They're all dead. Oh, no. He's dead. He's dead. They're all dead. The fry guys. I don't know why I was dying. I go, oh, my God, is he dead? She goes, no, we're all fine, but he's so pissed.

I go, oh, this is the best. He looks like he's smiling, though. You pissed off Ronald McDonald. It turns out the Hamburglar cut the brakes. I will never forget that story. Myrtle, Myrtle. We saw him, or you didn't see him. I saw him at a hotel in Calgary once, and it was like a black tie event, and he had his fancy yellow tuxedo.

Yeah. Wow. Huh. That's fancy yellow. Oh, man. Oh, like a yellow tuxedo. Yeah. Wow. Huh. That's really something that, I mean, I think I've said it before on the podcast. Like they've really stuck with that clown thing way past clowns popularity into everybody's afraid of clowns. Yeah. They really went like, I'd rather like to know, I don't want to see you take your mask off. Even if you're just a normal person playing a gig. Right. Like, I don't want to see you take your mask off. Even if you're just a normal person playing a gig.

Right. Like, I don't want to see it. Like, you take your mask off and you just look like a 45-year-old, like, dude who works at a factory. It's just like, I know I'm an old person and I'm not amused by it, but I just want you to be Rocky till you disappear and take the mask off and come back fully clothed. Right. Because I saw that and I saw that. Which Rocky? Boeing. Rocky and Boeing.

Only because I was, Papa John's was the pizzeria that I worked at, like in Windsor. And they had this event. They were like, we're going to do an event. And all the pizza companies are going to come and we're going to hand out pizza to children for charity. It's going to be on Sunday at 9 a.m. And then he's like, the manager, the district manager is like, okay, someone's going to play it.

We're going as a pizza slice. We have a mascot as a pizza slice. Who would like to? And I'm just like raising my hand. They're like, nope, nope. And then he just like passed over me. He goes, this guy, Kevin, or whatever his name is going to do it. So tomorrow show up.

And I was like, oh, this is bullshit. But at the time I was doing so much ecstasy and canphetamine that the night before, we partied so hard. And I forgot that I had to go hand out pizzas. And it's like 9, like 7 a.m. And my boy's like,

bro, you know you got that fun, that charity event. And I'm like, oh man, I haven't slept. And then he was like, I'll just drink some of this wine. I go, yeah. And then a pill was,

like I took a pill like around four in the morning. So I get there and I'm just sweating already. And then I'm like, oh, this is going to be easy. I'll hand out slices to kids. And then the district manager comes over. He goes, Kevin's not here. He's not here.

Who's going to play the pizza slice suit? Who's going to do it? And then he goes, Dave. And I go, no. He goes, yes. I go, oh, man. And I just started. It kicked in.

And the slice had like just a mesh part where your face was. So I couldn't even breathe. But I had called. Before I got in the suit, I called my best friend, Hugo. I go, Hugo, you got to get down here. Why? I go, please just get down here. I think I'm fucking.

I got to play a pizza slice suit. And I didn't have the, because I was high, the sentence structure. Yeah, the guy's just like, here we go again. Yeah, he goes, pizza slice suit. There's kids here. I got to hand it out to them. And I'm scared. Like, wait, what's just like here we go again yeah he goes pizza slice suit there's kids here I gotta hand it out to them and I'm scared like wait what's happening

just come down I'm in a suit I'm high still and he at the time hated that I was doing drugs right so he comes over why?

I was doing too much of it like because of these calls he's like I have a life so he comes over and I'm in but I'm I know this is kind of corny but I'm high

and the kids are coming at me because I have to shake their hands, but I'm on, they're going to eat me. So I'm like, oh, I'm a pizza slice. And then Hugo comes in and he, he just kind of like comes up to, I go, he's looking and he comes over and he goes, Dave, because I'm in the suit. And I go, get close to the mesh. And I go, you gotta, you gotta get me out of here. And I'm like, why? He goes, you gotta get me close to the mesh. And I go, you got to get me out of here. And I'm like, why? He goes, you got to get me out of the suit.

We got to go to the back. We're going to sneak out of here. And I went to the back. And that's when I saw Rocky and Bullwinkle take their mask off. And I go, and they're smoking. And I'm like, oh, just high. And I'm like, put the mask back on, Jim. You're ruining it for kids.

Oh, my God. What year was this? That Rocky and Bullwinkle were still a draw. Oh, man. I'm old. I was like 25, so I'm like 36. Right. Okay, yeah.

Or no, it might have been even 24. Yeah, because there was that movie that came out. Oh, right. That nobody asked for. Yeah, because there was that movie that came out. Oh, right. That nobody asked for. But it's also Windsor. So they probably ain't getting the classy as Top Axe. Yeah. On the goddamn piece.

Yeah. They're on the sea mascot circuit. Three of the Teletubbies? No. We have Fibber, McGee, and Molly. That's a radio show. We have the raccoons. Oh, wow.

Did you get away? Did he sneak you out? Yeah, I was out, man. In the pizza outfit? No, I took it off. That's why I saw all that stuff when we dipped, and I was just still high. It was at the end of, like, we were just doing too much ecstasy, where it was, like, me and two other friends in the downfall, I call it. And we were out.

Is ecstasy now Molly? it's Molly now so back then it was like I still say I still love ecstasy I love even saying it now yeah because it just to me

it was way it just sounded better than Molly it also sounds like a drug that they made up in an action movie yeah ecstasy does?

yeah like we have a new street drug that's the most addictive get them Jason Statham yeah like I tell this story and I hate to say when comics go in my act because it sounds hacky but it's like about ecstasy because it was like um how we kind of got out of it because we couldn't get out of it and but I when is it addictive it it was to us like to me specifically and we would so

but when I say it in my act it's ecstasy so it's just like it sounds dated but I like saying it because I'm like that's what it was

the form because now it's Molly but it like it was so back then when you got it you were like we got ecstasy

and everyone huddled around but it was like we were chalking it up is MDMA the same thing it was mixed in with MDMA because they didn't know the guy that was getting it to us was like we were chalking it up is mdma the same thing it was mixed in with mdma because because we they didn't know the guy that was getting it to us was like man i don't know if this is because cut with half heroin half coke like it was just a weird we would get like really

good ones but we what the problem was this um it's cut with retin it's to make your breath wonderful. I want it to be cut like that. It's cut with Tecron. We got this from Chevron. I remember sniffing it. Oh, geez. Because you could do it in three different ways, forms. So then it would just, when we'd sniff it, we'd chalk it up and sniff it, we'd get really higher.

No, is it like. This is bad talk. I don't like this talk. Me neither. I'm sorry. It's awful. hired no is it like bad talk i don't like this talk me neither yeah i'm sorry it's all my question is in the timeline yeah between then and now when was the switch flipped and we're calling it molly now yeah yeah who decided that i don't know that's why it's like that's why i still call it that because it feel like it must have gone away for a while and come back as something else oh molly was from where i heard it, was rappers were doing

it. Oh. Do you know what I'm saying? There was, I didn't, this is not even my point, so I don't, I can't remember where I heard it, so I don't want to take credit for it. It was another, it was a rapper actually, he said, when did rap become more, because rappers used to talk about selling drugs, not taking drugs. Oh. So then now, like,

in this era, it's like all the rappers are like, I'm doing Xanax, I'm doing Molly. Like they're used to push the product. They're getting high on their own supply. Come on. Which is kind of bad

both ways, but it is kind of interesting to go, that's all I grew up listening to was like, I'm selling dope, I'm selling dope, I'm selling dope.

Now, that's where I heard Molly came back. This rappers would be like, I did Molly, Rick Ross, French Montana,

they all rapped about it. It's just like, you know, America used to manufacture things. Now it's rapped about it. It's just like, you know, America used to manufacture things. Now it's just a consumer society, you know? It's so sad. That's when it came in. Thanks, Obama.

And didn't it start, though? It started as X. Wasn't that what it was first, first called in the, like, 90s? Or E. Or E. Yeah. Oh, it was called E for a while. It was called E and X at the same time.

I've always just been horse tranquilizers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the way I was raised. That was not a good time. I'll tell you that, guys. I thought it was. The guy goes, yes. He goes, what is that, Coke?

And then he goes, no, horse tranquilizer. I go, give me. Like, I don't know why I was against Coke. Give me in that. My horse has been very badly behaved lately. Let me slide on this pizza suit. We're going to have ourselves a day. He didn't even tell me it was horse tranquil.

He says it's camphetamine. And I took it. And an hour later, I go, yo, man, what is really camphetamine? And I thought, he goes, horse tranquilize. I go, probably not a good idea that I took this, dude. Yeah, I'm not a horse. This was before you could Google what you were taking. Man, if I had Google, I don't know if it would have stopped me.

But it would have been more informed. I would have had the answers quicker. The thing about the mascot, I remember going, like there was an ad in the paper when I was maybe 16 or something, like advertising that they needed people to be in the mascot suits. There was like a central company that would send out. Like any mascot or just yeah yeah like so you would go to uh whatever a baseball game on the saturday and then on the sunday it would be like some function or whatever and i went and i was just too short for any i was so crestfallen i was inconsolable i was just like i like how you got denounced because you're too short like too nah it's like it'll be all baggy.

Charlie Brown's knees will look weird. I really want to be a mascot. You're too short. Yeah. Next. Because I remember going to hockey games and baseball games and watching the mascot being like, that's what I'm into. That's the part of the game I understand. My friend used to do it.

He used to do one for a university. Yeah. Did one for a radio station He was the fox Oh he was the fox Yeah That's a good one to be Nice

Yeah I don't know It just seems like Because people are always Happy around mascots Yeah You know It's like

It just seemed like A really cool It must stink though Oh It must be hot as hell Yeah If you're doing an Eight hour shift

I assume Yeah If this hockey game Goes into trivel Over that Oh shit Yeah you're doing an eight-hour shift, I assume. Yeah, if this hockey game goes into triple overtime. Oh, shit, yeah, you're right. It's only, what is it, four hours? That's still a lot. But you also had to do this, like, weird, like, I never got to do it, but

you know you had to ask a mascot something, and they can only nod yes or no? Like, they can't. I have four moves. I can pretend to bite a kid's head. Yeah, I can shrug, like, I don't know. I could do head Yeah Yeah I can shrug like I don't know I can do a noogie And Yeah

I don't know And the head I don't Like I never got a chance to do it But you know Maybe someday Yeah

Maybe someday I'll grow It's not too late right Well how old You were 15 then Yeah Maybe you're taller now Yeah I smoked though I think I stunted my growth

I think that's when I really took up smoking. Like, forget it. You don't know this about me, Dave, but I have a two-year-old. And when you turn two, there's a statistic that you are, like, it's pretty accurate that you are half your height when you turn two that you will be as an adult. Really? It seems ridiculously small. But my daughter is, what was she, 33 inches? Sure.

When she turned two, so that works out to 66 inches, so 5'6", and that's about right. Yeah. Huh. Oh, you could tell the height, basically? So, like, whatever height she's at, she's going to double that. Yeah. And pretty much that. And she's been smoking the whole second year. Like, is she been smoking the whole like is she vaping yeah she's vaping baby vapes yeah

they're all in the you know baby flavors uh i feel that would start in the philippines yeah for my throne shade um i feel like vaping could be uh just to tie it in with mascots, if there was a dragon costume, this would be really the best time. Never before has there been such easy access to vapor. It's true. Oh, man. We used to have to swallow some dry ice. Yeah, yeah. You'd have to know a guy that had a uh his own dj business

and had a smoke machine i love the smell of that smokes that do you really smoke machines yeah well that's very much the smell of laser quest is oh yeah the smell of like that smoke machine smoke oh really yeah like do you know that smoke like the smell like if you're a smoke machine of the smoke machine i hire i had to get a smoke machine for a show, and it went off in the trunk. While I was crossing the border. It's going off. I go, what's going off? He goes, it's a smoke machine.

But it wasn't plugged in. I don't know. This thing was malfunctioning. I was like, this is awful. This thing sucks. But this is a comic. Marc Andrada. Do you know Marc Andrada? like, this is awful. This thing sucks. But this is a, a comic, Mark Andrada. Do you know Mark Andrada?

Okay. This guy, he probably might get mad that I'm telling this. I still think it's the funniest thing I've ever seen. Do what we're doing a show in a coffee shop,

like a tiny coffee shop. Yeah. So like, you know, he, he comes up and he has a smoke machine, but,

but to enter, like when you, to enter and exit, like, so you get out, the stage is right. There's no stage, you're just right near the door. Right. So he had to run to another show, so he does his act and he just leaves, but he set off

the smoke machine at the beginning of his act. So this thing's just filling the room and he's doing like eight minutes and I'm like, this, what the, what the hell is happening? Is it, is it, like, does it have anything to do with his act? I think it does, but knowing him, I don't think it did. Just knowing him and it's going on. But you can't even, you're like, holy, it's just filling. Holy smokes.

Yeah, you're like, holy smokes. This guy leaves and the next comic has to do their act in the smoke. Did he bring the machine with him when he left? He brought the machine, but the smoke filled up so much. But on his way out, did he take it and leave it open? Yeah, he was gone with it. But there's still so much smoke. Oh, dude, man, you could just barely, and then this person like bombed for the first

five, like the whole set was like, why? But they weren't even pushing the smoke away. And I saw him later, I think the next day, I go, dude, you know what? You left a lot of smoke back there he goes what for real I go yeah comic bomb

and I still this happened man maybe seven six seven years ago and I every time I see him I for sure try to bring it up I go bro

that's smoking shit and he goes okay like just whoa way to go it's the best thing I've ever seen

like just everybody just sitting in it just like well the comic thing I've ever seen. Like, just everybody just sitting in it. Just like, well. The comic must have been so angry. Like, are you serious? I'm going after smoke? And then, like, nothing. Nobody cared what you were saying.

Yeah, that's the set list. You're up after smoke. Oh, great. Well, I guess I'll do my foghorn bit. Dave, what's going on with you? Oh, not much. We just got back from this trip. Oh, yeah.

We went to Edmonton and Saskatoon, had a couple of good shows. Yep. Recorded them. Got into ecstasy in a big way. I think maybe the Saskatoon show didn't sound good, like, technically. But we'll see. We might. I mean, we'll probably still release it and people can just not listen.

Yeah, yeah. Just, yeah, bear with us you know um and uh one thing i didn't mention at either of the shows was uh the day i left uh was it was a friday yeah we left on a friday morning our flight was super early yeah and normally i wake up early with the baby and i we hang out for an hour or two and a feeder and stuff, changer. And, uh, this time I had to leave a little early and I had to shower before I left and I had to, you know, make sure I was all packed and everything. So I was a little hurried and I didn't get much sleep the night before I was up late

and then up early. And so my mind wasn't where it should have been. So this is, this is, you're just the, you're just trying to get it together. This is a mistake I've never made as a father, but I take baby Margo, take her on and put her on a change pad, take off her diaper, clean her up. The, take the diaper and put it in the diaper genie.

The diaper genie is full. And I don't want to leave this for my wife. I'm like, you know what? I'll go the extra mile. So what happens in a diaper genie? I don't know the mechanism. There's just like a flap that sort of keeps it airtight so no stink comes out. Okay.

It's not great. It's not perfect. It's not airtight? Yeah. It's a, yeah, no, it's a, it's not great. It's not perfect. It's not airtight? Yeah. It's a yeah, no, it's a it's not a genie in any way, shape, or form. It doesn't

grant you any wishes. It doesn't sound like Robin Williams. I've never had a friend like it. Yeah, yeah, you don't want to rub it. So yeah, no, it's just a bag. Okay, so it just comes out like you just pull out a bag and it's... You have to tie it up and then you have to open up. They get a lot of stink when you have to tie it up.

Uh, yeah. Well, look, it's not. It's not perfect. It's perfect. But I, yeah, I want, I don't want my wife to have to endure this in addition to being a solo parent for two days. Sure. So I'm trying to, I'm trying to let her sleep in. I'm trying to get everything accomplished.

I wrap up the diapers. I put them outside. Oh, and Margo's, her pants were wet. Her last diaper had leaked. So. Okay. I put those pants in the laundry.

Got to get new pants out. And so I take off her diaper, clean her up, diaper genie. And when I'm done all that, I put new pants on her. Forgot to put a diaper on her. And when I'm done all that, I put new pants on her. Forgot to put a diaper on her. Ah, classic.

Did not realize I was doing that. Rookie mistake. Such a rookie mistake. And then I just leave her kind of in front of the TV. Before I go, I was eating an apple and she was like, I want that apple. All right, here you go. Yeah. So I gave her, she's not great at eating apples, but she likes to.

She's learning. She likes to chew on an apple. Does she do a shine on her shirt first to do that? And then we go to the airport and I get a text while I'm waiting on the tarmac from Abby saying, hey, the baby was like wet this morning. She just said the word wet. And I was half asleep. And I woke up. And she peed everywhere. Oh, man.

Pee on her pants. Pee on the bed. Like it just went everywhere. Pee on me. Oh, no. And then I got up and I went to the living room where she had been sitting on the couch on a blanket, fortunately. Just chewed up apple everywhere and peed. It was like the dog was taking care of the baby.

So in all my efforts to try to be a good partner and help her out, oh, boy. But you know what? I think your heart was in the right place. And she's got something she can hold against me for years. Oh, absolutely. She's going to be able to cash that in any time. Now, you say that you take a shower before you get on a flight. Do you take a shower before you get on a flight?

I don't bother. I do if I'm going somewhere when I land and I need to dress properly. Okay. So it depends on the mood, what's happening. But I always feel like if I'm landing, then that's when I'm going to take the shower before the show. I want to be crisp. Well,

if I'm, if I'm going to land and hang out around like 2 PM and I want to just look good. Right. Oh, I see. So I'll just dress like how I want it. It was a one hour flight.

I felt like I'm not going to get too disheveled. I get very disheveled very quickly. So. See, I'm more with the time of it too. It depends on the time. But it depends. If you want to go right to drinking or partying,

you'd rather, you know, you want to be dressed. Yeah, that's true. You're making a lot of sense here. Yeah, no. Plus, I feel like I'm, if I wear like a t-shirt and then I take a shower, that t-shirt I was wearing before the shower has got to go. Like I can't put on clothes from pre-shower.

I'm the same way. Like I, and I'm, then I'm thinking about having to pack an extra outfit. Oh yeah. Yeah. I can't do exactly. I have, I have like,

and I mean forever. Like if I've ever worked out in a t-shirt, I can, it's no longer on the roster of things I can wear in public. Oh really? Yeah. Same here. Like even if you've just worked out in a t-shirt, I can, it's no longer on the roster of things I can wear in public. Oh, really? Yeah, same here. Like even if you just exercised in it once? Yeah.

No. Oh, wow. That's fine, man. You got to take it out. That's the same way, man. I've lost some shirts to the gym. Yeah. Like I can still sleep in it, but I'm not.

Yeah, okay. I think that I consciously downgrade the shirt and say like you're now not part like I say that first I don't

let it happen by accident oh you'll downgrade it before I've downgraded shirts like where I'm like you know what you've had a good run you've been in high rotation

for several years your gym gym or you know cleaning or whatever shirt I have clothes where I'm sick I'll wear yeah I got sick clothes

but I also have just like you know if somebody's like I need help painting or I need help moving have those clothes but then yeah I don't think I ever accidentally wore a shirt that's in high rotation and then lost it to the exercise

no I'm never going to do that. I don't exercise often enough. That's a danger. Me neither. I'm starting to. Are you? What do you do? Do you go to the gym?

Yeah, I'm trying to. Is it the worst? It's the worst, right? I always say I don't have the body. I know people can physically become fit. I just don't have the aesthetics face-wise and everything to be a guy that fits in. At the gym? There's a typical, there's like a group of like, you can see them.

They just look like they should be there. Like this all makes sense. No, I could see you being a, you could be a guy. I could be with the glasses in like one of my hats off. And if I don't shave, it looks like there's like hair around, but not at the top. Right. And the type of gym gear I have isn't as professional as the other people. So it looks like I'm dis't as professional as the other people so it looks like

I'm disheveled from the start. When did you decide to do because you're shaved right down to completely Oh that When did that

24 24 I would shave when I was like 19, 21 big into two palms Sure absolutely So I was like man we gotta

and my boy was like light skinned and he would always shave his head his head was shaved so I did it and I was like, oh,

this is a cool feeling. But then I lost my hair. You're like, it's just not coming. Yeah. I have to do this. Wow. Yeah.

It was, it was thinning from the top. Yeah. So why won't LeBron shave his hair? There's some guys that are right. Yeah. Yeah. He has like Michael Jordan was the,

maybe the first guy to do it. Michael looked good. It fitted with Michael. I think LeBron maybe might, Michael Jordan was maybe the first guy to do it. But Michael looked good. He looked good. It fitted with Michael. I think LeBron maybe might think that it's not going to, he might have a weird head. I don't know. See, that's also the worry.

Because even when I was watching the presidential debate, and afterwards. Why won't Hillary shave her head? Believe me. There was a panel of experts. And one the guys he's he's an older guy and it's like if he just shaved the middle part it would look good but he's got like these wisps that are kind of combed over way up top of his head well what's the plan there what's the what's the conceit what are you what are you hoping people are thinking when they see that i don't know i'm uh yeah no i think i like i'm i would worry i've you know buzzed mine before yeah and like i don't i don't look like ewan mcgregor and train spotting

that's the hope yeah yeah but you you yours looks your hair you have hair still so I'd rock it out and you I'd be blessed you know I'm I'm too blessed to be stressed

it's I'm gonna have to shave it at some point I just don't know when's the time to pull the trigger but the look with half hair

and half knot works for some people it's just like Ron Jostle's very funny comedian goes I can't picture you with hair bro ever yeah and it makes sense if I look in the mirror I go man hair and a half knot works for some people. It's just like, Ron Jostle's very funny comedian goes, I can't picture you with hair, bro,

ever. Yeah. And it makes sense. If I look in the mirror, I go, man, I think I'm stuck to this, like obviously, this is my look.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like some people I've seen with, like they don't shave, they have like half, like you know, they could probably shave their head,

but it just, it looks dope. They're missing it on the top and it's on the side and you're like, you know, that really works for you. But like Howie Mandel. If you went bald on top right and it's on the side and you're like, you know, that really works for you.

If you went bald on top right now, Graham. Yeah. With the hair long on the side, it would be Hulk Hogan. It would be Hulk Hogan. Or what's the guy from Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Oh, yeah. Riff Raff. Riff Raff. That's hilarious. You know Sam Simmons, the comedian? Yeah. He has hair at the side

and nothing at the top and it suits that guy. But it's quite short around the side. And mine is long. I couldn't have it this long and have nothing on top. That would be too crazy. But the beard also, it kind of ricochets it away. Believe me, I'm trying to work every single angle that I can work.

He's trying so many ricochets. I'm telling you, man. I think you can work it. Just keep the beard like that. When you go to the gym, this has been in the news lately, guys. This is the news lately guys this is a news oh here we go yeah a list of hot topics is there any of that locker room talk that don trump's been defending no i hate the locker like if i see a for some odd reason i'm like i just see a penis i i panic and i'm like i can't be i i'm more like just take a shower at home i don't why are doing, I think a shower is a moment with yourself.

Right. Oh, you think it's like the, there's no. It's intimate to you, I feel. Like a shower is like, I'm in my shower, I'm thinking, you know, but like the gym, you're just walking around. There's other people with their shitty conversations. It's not a cool atmosphere, I think. I think. I'm silent.

If I'm not wearing underwear I'm silent yeah these guys come out way too confident in chatty chatty chatty caddies

but I don't the group shower thing that's never bothered me often when people even your first year in prison yeah

no I mean but I learned from to take on the biggest guy in the first day and then everybody sees him beating me up. And then they go,

we don't need to beat him up. Look at how bad he's got beaten up. Um, this soap is so slippery, but yeah, the showering thing. That's, that's never been a thing,

but the conversation thing is, uh, for me is not, or the urinal, like a guy next to you. Can we not? Can we not? You know, the, the, the, the, the Trump locker, like whatever the talk you at the urinal can we not can we you know the the trump locker like whatever the talk was the part that that is i'm like man dude yeah we all like yeah people

talk like that but why are you acting like it's so dope like it's just like he's like yeah man like i'm like grow up like it's not a thing that like he's acting like it's the dopest thing like yeah i said it what are you in this 80s yeah? Yeah. Just, yeah, people say it all. We have these talks. But like, he's such a snitch. You just, what a snitch. Like, he's out there going, yeah, that's what we do. Like, he's.

But he was also at work. He was also working. Yeah, he was not in a locker room. Yeah. But he's like a bad 80s. Like, he's an 80s comic that right now is telling you the same shit he says in the 80s and he's like look at me huh mexicans and it's just like so there's a comic i've seen do that where you're like why are you still talking about native indians that way this is awful so he's just i just

think it's like and then everyone's like look what he's saying but i'm like man he just acts like he's saying the dopest craziest like. You know there's the internet. You see crazier things and he's like, look at me now. Black people. What are Arabs? I'm going to take down ISIS. He's like a bad version of Hulk Hogan. Yeah, I think that Donald Trump and Hulk Hogan had a lot in common.

I think the 80s are coming back with Trump. Andrew Dice Clay's had quite a career in the last couple of years. I love Dice, man. cogan had a lot of common i think the 80s are coming back with trump and yeah andrew dice clay has had quite a little career in the couple last years i love dice man you could see you could see donald trump and andrew dice clay having all for sure having a cocktail together oh boy i'm not like a political person like i don't know my i don't want to speak on it because again i don't know anything so i don't want to be that guy that's doing that. But it's just funny when I watch whatever little times I watch of it. It's like, especially moving there, it's like, yeah, man, this is your, he is the dream. The American, like he's what you've built for years, the money, the power.

He lives in a golden room. Yes. In a golden building. Yeah, with your name on the front of it. And that's your country is rooted on like that's what you you tell everyone in the world

come here man look what you could do yeah you could start from nothing well I mean you started out rich but you could start

from a mere hundred million dollars but it's like the type of thing he was bred is what their country is

so it's just like then they're like this is just awful. I go, no, this is you guys. Like America, America, this is you.

That should be their national anthem. That should be his theme song. If that happened in Canada, you could be like, you know, man, this is just,

this is a problem. We don't conduct ourselves that way. But then when he's doing it, I go, yeah, man, you all do that. Everything about you is him. You think he's the manifestation of the American dream? Yeah, and then Americans go, we need to make a stand.

I'm like, no, man, this is you. You don't act like you don't know this has always been brewing or there's so many people. You'd rather get a Kardashian ad than over fixing real things. This is what you, you know, TMZ, you just love that shit. You just sit there and enjoy it. But we also enjoy it, but I still think we would want it. In Canada?

Yeah. And our locker room talks more like, hey, nice dangler, buddy. Good horn, bud. i like that talk good horn what do you use on that it's like a beard trimmer yeah it's tmz up here graham yeah what's going on with you bud uh before i uh came to do the podcast i yesterday at the kind of uh last minute i got i have an acting agent i don't i don't really know how to act so i got this acting agent because she saw me doing stand-up i was like this guy and i was like sure great um but i don't know what i'm doing i've tried like i've tried to like learn the lines and like be good at it but i you go into have you done auditions

so yeah not not many but like so you go in and you do them and like you know the there's supposed to be jokes i guess in the script but they've heard it a thousand times so you say the joke and then you get nothing and you're like well did i bomb i have no idea so it's a lot of it's a lot of sweat it's a lot of anxiety a lot of anxiety this is for a movie oh and i went in and it but like they sent me the thing is three pages of dialogue yeah and that was. And I had to like learn it all. And I didn't really have you. Were there guys look that look like you in the audition room? I was, I was the first of this character.

So I was the only guy for this character when I was there. And you did. So you went in this morning. Yeah. Oh, nice. How was it? I don't know. Like every time I walk out of these auditions, I'm like.

But you, did you, you said you didn't memorize the lines or you. I was, I had most of them. I stumbled over one of them. Okay. That's cool. Very anxiety filled. Yeah. But I don't like, there's no, there's no thing at the end where they are like seven out of

10 or like, you know, anything that I'm like, that could have been exactly what you do or. Do they, well, do they give your agent feedback? No. You just do it and then it's like. And it's also like completely out of your control. Oh. Because you could walk in the room and whoever is, has a vision of what this character is, you just don't match it. And then you go through the thing and they're like, bye.

And that, which that is fine, but I would like it that they just go, no, you're just not. My favorite is your agents pitch to you and that always makes me laugh.

Like they'll call and they're like, this role, I think it's perfect for you. That's, and I'm like, I'm like, yeah,

they're like, yeah, it's a, it's a convenience store owner. It's perfect for you. And I go, yeah, it's like Lebanese.

And I, I do, I went, it's an actual true. And I go, yeah, it's like Lebanese. And I went to this actual true store. I go in. I start reading the script. I got pumped now. I go, oh, yeah, I could play this. I'm Lebanese, convenience store owner. I start reading the script.

It's East Indian. So then you get mad at your agent. I'm like, that's not this. That's totally different. If you want me to act, you can't play a Lebanese. You don't need two different type of convenience store owners. Now you're thinking that way. And I'm like, this is just shitty. If you want me to act, you can't play a Lebanese. You know what I mean? Two different type of convenience store owners. Now you're thinking that way, and I'm like, this is just shitty. Am I breaking down two different convenience stores?

What am I doing with my life? This is not how I want to be method acting. But what if you're so good they change the character around you? I wasn't. I didn't really come through i thought of a funny character that was the method actor who's not a very good actor but he does all the methods oh yeah so he's like playing a homeless guy so he slept in a ditch the night before but he comes in and he reads it like oh carolyn what are you doing here but he stinks and stuff they're

like well you look the part, but you don't know how to act. Yeah. I had the biggest, I don't want to, I don't want to tell you guys this story because it's, you start a lot of stories this way.

Well, this one, because I feel you, like the ending part is dirty and I don't, I don't like, oh, and we're nice boys.

Yeah. So I don't want to do it, but it was like the worst bomb. Do it. You got to promise you're not going to be weird. I started out weird. I'm like Trump.

You started out rich. It was like for MTV's, in America, where they show you Instagram or tweets and their teams of improv and comedians, and you riff off those pictures. That's the audition. That's the show. It's called Joking Off. So you get the audition stuff, and you riff off those pictures. That's the audition. That's the show. It's called Joking Off. So I get, you get the slot or the audition stuff

and you have to create, they give you the pictures and you have to, the night before you get to write jokes. So I'm struggling. I'm asking friends to help. I don't really technically

want to do it and I'm just like, I don't know how to come up with these jokes. I'm not that good at it. So I go in and what happens is it's two young people

and then there's this older white dude in the corner and he like, the two other dudes are the two other people are they're the ones doing most of the talking they have a little tv screen for you so i start doing my stuff and it's not going that like they're they're a little bit laughs like barely any laughs and then um the picture that was up is a girl and a dog but like a very girl's bum, like you don't see her face, and this dog looking at you, basically. So then the old white dude goes,

hey, he interrupts the audition, which I've never had anyone do. He goes, hey, Dave. I go, yeah. He goes, do you mind if I take a stab at this? I go, what? Like in my head, I go, man, this is never, they never, because I'm,

is he a creator? And this guy does the dirtiest joke and smashes like these people are laughing and i'm like oh this guy just killed and now i'm flustered and i'm like oh and i forgot everything and then he goes see he goes there you go man i go and i get weak i don't i'm not even confident anymore oh and i go oh man i didn't know you could be that dirty. He goes, buddy, just dirt. Oh,

you could do whatever you want. I fall apart and I walk up to the mark and I go, and it's quiet. And I just look at everyone. I go, I like to eat girls asses. Like, it's not even a joke.

They just, they go, what? And I just might, you know, when you're all right, when you bomb and your eyes get wider and I'm just sweating and then he goes okay

do you have a joke I go maybe one and he goes oh I'm like should I do it he goes yeah and I do it tanks and I leave I never get it I never get it of course he destroyed he's their boss

I've never seen that happen. Do you ever see it in an audition? No, I've never. I would love if every MTV show, like Talking Head show, they had the 60-year-old executive producer. I know. Yeah. Dick Ebersole comes in.

So have you tried acting classes? No, but thinking i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna give it a whirl just uh just to see how to do it yeah but uh it's real strange as an adult oh boy yeah and but like even going in like i just read the lines the way i would say like i don't put on a character because i'm like man i can't believe it if i do the character they're gonna be like stop talking with that accent but do lebanese uh it's a different type of convenience store only understand um but it's always like scumbag or whatever that's all the roles i'm going out for but i don't want to like overly scumbag because they i like girls do you have a joke?

No I like to eat girls ass But I would like that during an audition If the person reading the script was like Can I have a go at this? Sure, absolutely I'll read the script Anyway, so yeah

I don't think I'll get in that movie But it wouldn't happen in any other Job interview anyway so yeah I don't think I don't think I'll get in that movie but hey you know what I try but it wouldn't happen in any other like like job interview like actually ask me what

what my biggest weakness is I work too hard yeah you mind if we switch this around here give me your resume oh we're doing tryouts for the hockey team

you know what let me try the coach gets out there does some body checks. Do we want to move on to overheards? Yeah. Hi, everybody. I'm Justin McElroy.

I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. And we host the first podcast ever made, My Brother, My Brother and Me. Every Monday, we put out the first ever advice comedy podcast ever. They found our podcast on Dead Sea Scrolls. We're the Hammurabi code of podcasts

and we're ready to entertain you with jokes. So we invented the first jokes. So join us every Monday on MaximumFun.org. You'll never crack

our code, Dan Brown. Just try me. It's history in the making and in the faking. And it's all yours for the taking. Listen up, Midwestern Max Funsters. Do not miss out on the inaugural Chicago Podcast Festival, November 17th through 19th. Catch the hilarious ladies of Lady to Lady and the witty and incisive Aneke and James from Minority Corner.

Plus, Bullseye with Jesse Thorne will feature interviews with some pretty heavy hitters like Andre Royo and Dwayne Kennedy. Don't snooze. Don't lose. Tickets are available right now. Visit MaximumFun.org and buy them. Overheard. Overheard.

A segment in which we hear things out there in the world and then we like to share them here on the podcast. We always like to start with the guest. Dave, do you have something hilarious you have overheard? You know what I mean? And I'm going to be completely honest. When you asked me that question, I was like,

I started thinking about it and then for like hours and like the day, since I saw you, I was like, I had panic attacks in and out. Oh no. But then I go, man, I haven't overheard a conversation maybe in 10 years. Cause my headphones are on all the time. Sure.

Then it was snowballing to what kind of human am I that I'm so attached to the music. And then my phone, like what, when did I fall apart as a human, like 10 years ago, I thought I might've been dope or I, I wanted to engage. I wanted to listen. Yeah. I fell phone, like, when did I fall apart as a human? Like, 10 years ago, I thought I might have been dope, or I wanted to engage, I wanted to listen.

And then I fell apart as, like, I became, like, a sheep. Like, did that question spiral into so much thinking? Oh, dear. I go, holy smokes. I need to get off my phone. Like, why am I, I'm listening to music. Just am I blocking everyone out? Because then I start going, like, I've overheard most of my convos in my own head right and they're bad i was like they're shitty but then it was like

and i remember one being in new york and uh and i i don't know i overheard a convo but i remember pieces of pieces of it i think it's gonna make the person look bad and they weren't they weren't bad people but it was like you ever go by like those new york dudes that just have that very new york accent he's like bro like he just had yeah because i'm yeah what am i like they say minuscule things loud and you're like oh it sounds like a song so he was just like saying things like that he'd be like hey bro get the fuck out like you know you go to that pizzeria like why is he making that word sound like i think at one point he goes yeah you're not gonna believe me you go to france and they're saying like but he sounded like he was blown away by france like he just couldn't like he only lived in his

bubble in his neighborhood he goes you gotta you got to go out there, man. They're speaking this language. They say a croissant. It's the weirdest thing you'll ever hear. It was something along the lines of that. I love it. I love it. I was dying. I was like, man. But yeah.

Yeah. That's great. See? You had it. That was wonderful. Dave? My name is also Dave. I have, mine is an overseen.

Uh-huh. And I take car toGo a lot around Vancouver. Nice. And these are smart cars that you rent out by the minute, if anyone doesn't know what that is. And now they have a new kind of, they have like the updated models of smart cars. Right. They're brand new. Four-door or still two-door?

Still two-door. They still have some four-door. So they're better now. The two-doors are better now. Right. They're brand new. Four-door or still two-door? Still two-door. They still have some four-door. So they're better now. The two-doors are better now. Okay. I guess. I mean, they're still not great, but they're like,

I drove one that had a hundred kilometers on it. Right. Perfect. So it's anything that's wrong with it is my fault. And they've got, I think the cup holders

are in a better spot now and I can, but whenever I go in, I turn off the radio and I just put on my, I just listen to podcasts through the speaker in my phone. And, but the, the, the GPS screen was on with a map of where I was going and it kept having like and I thought oh this cool new car is giving like fun messages to me and like so I'm driving along I look at the look at where I am in the GPS and at the bottom of the screen it says lift me I was like what okay whatever and uh I keep driving along and a few minutes later it says, love awakens. I'm like, oh, that's nice. Okay, whatever.

And I keep driving and then a couple minutes later it says, light up. I don't know what any of this means. And I realize that the new model of smart car is telling me the names of the songs or portions of the names of the songs on the christian channel christian music station that the last driver left it on so yeah there wasn't any uh it wasn't like sweet home alabama to tip you off it was all just like you know some kind i i i went back to the website of the christian station to station to find any of these in your playlist. It was like, you lift me up and love awake.

Your love awakens me. There's like, there's like 20 titles that match lift me up. Well, there's a lot of songs that have that. Um, wow. Yeah.

I don't, I don't know if, if pressed, I don't think I can name the song, a title of any Christian. Our God is an Awesome God. Oh yeah, there you go. That's a classic 90s hit. Yes, I know that one.

Maybe, was Sixpence None the Richer? They were a Christian band, but their song about Kiss Me was about, you know, taking a train. It was about beef barley or something. Who were the other big Christian crossovers

The alt rock crossover P.O.D Oh yeah P.O.D What was the one That was like an acoustic Jars of clay Oh jars of clay Yeah yeah

Oh P.O.D man Yeah That's odd There's a rapper Who's a Christian rapper It starts with a T Like Tor Mace

He eventually became one That's great I love Mace. He eventually became one. That's great. I love Mace, no matter what you do. Yeah, I'm trying to think if there were, well,

there were some people that went the other way. Uh-huh. Kirk Cameron. Started off as a bad boy and became Christian. Wasn't Creed a Christian band?

No. They, they, they ish. They, I feel like. Or they lied to us. No, they, they. Ish. They, I feel like. Or they lied to us. No, their music wasn't, it was, it seemed Christian, but I don't think it, I think it was a trick they were playing on people.

Oh, right. To like. But in the end, the trick was on them. Yes. Because they were Creed. They had to live in their own prison. They might've been. Don don't don't write us like well when i get to heaven well creed be there and if so is it heaven um uh my uh overheard okay is from uh uh like a few few weeks ago i was having uh lunch in an airport you did a

cool lunch i did lunch uh work a knife um and you didn't get this acting job no i know right i've given i saw it firsthand man that was great lunch my movie you took me right to the airport so i was eating in the airport what were you eating uh well this hamburger i uh was at this i don't know what the restaurant was but uh the on the menu one of the things was uh like a vegetarian philly cheesesteak okay and then the other option i could have was just a veggie burger so i asked asked the waiter, I was like, what do you like better? And he's like, oh, the veggie cheesesteak. Our veggie burger sucks.

And I was like, oh, okay. And so I was waiting, and then another guy sat down next to me, and he looked over the menu. And the same waiter went over to him, and the guy was like, I think I'll have the veggie burger. And he goes, it's very good. What? He was either lying to me or lying to him. I think you'll get honesty veggie burger. And he goes, it's very good. So he was either lying to me or lying to him.

I think you'll get honesty if you give them the option. If you just say the thing you're going to order, they're going to say, great choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he totally, I was like, what? But now, hey, hey. Yeah, because we went to dinner in Saskatoon and I asked the waitress, how's the mac and cheese? Oh, it's great. I should have been like, I'm torn between these two things yeah play exactly play the menu items off against

each other for your own amusement like well the the uh the fish is about to go bad so get that before it does yeah um yeah we we have our our bucket of shrimp promotion. Yeah, and now we also, you know what? We have overheards that are sent in to us from people around the world. Oh, that's new. This must be the first episode we've done that. No, no, no, no, no, no. What?

No. I think if you go back and listen, you'll find that we do this every episode. Sounds dumb. If you want to send one in into us, you can send it into spy at maximum fun dot org. This first one's for Maggie from Brooklyn, New

York. Does Maggie have a second initial? Maggie R. Maggie R from Brooklyn, New York. This is one of the kids say the darndest. This is a kid trying to nail a classic kid joke and not getting it. Why was six afraid of seven?

Because eight, nine, ten. No, wait, that's not. You know, because five, six, seven, eight. Yeah. Um You know Because five Six Seven Eight Yeah That's like the That's the classic Kid joke right Yeah Five six

Afraid of seven Yeah I mean Because A lot of knock knock Jokes are A lot of knock knock Jokes

Uh Maybe Maybe just like A limerick These were popular We were talking The other day about why When we were kids there were so many jokes About lepers

Oh it was a lot Yeah I think I heard it in school I didn't even know what the disease I still don't really It was taught to us And then the jokes came after I remember hearing it taught to us And then jokes Yeah jokes followed for many years It was taught to us, and then the jokes came after. Right. I remember hearing it taught to us, and then just everybody.

And then jokes. Yeah, jokes followed for many years. And it's weird, because I think back in the day, a lot of what would eventually become blonde jokes were originally Polish jokes. Yeah. But they were the same jokes. They were just changed. So I wonder what it is now. But why did it become blonde?

Is it because of World War II? Like, we fought for Poland. Yeah. So, the least they could do is take this. So maybe let's start making fun of the Aryans. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, there it is. This next one comes from John A. Here in, in BC. He was on the, a BC ferry.

These are two. This is the second of two of the overheard. This is a guy talking about his trip to India. He was trying to communicate the size of a tractor he saw. And he said it was the biggest fucking tractor. Like way bigger than

tractors here. Picture a really big tractor. Are you picturing it? It was easily three times that big he went on and on and kept insisting that she wasn't picturing a big enough tractor before realizing out loud it's hard to explain because i don't know how big a tractor you're thinking of as a comparison. That's great. It was just a big tractor. Whenever a guy is trying not to climax, I always advise him, just think of a bigger tractor. Now think even bigger. Triple it. Like picture a tractor that a tractor would, if there were tractors out in a field, a tractor

that a tractor would plow there were tractors out in the field, the tractor, that tractor would plow. Is that tractor too much? This last one comes from Jackie in Chicago. I was at a cookout over the weekend when I heard a guy updating his friends on the newest project he had been working on. It's a revamping of an old industrial railroad yard. Then a friend piped in with, Oh, I just watched a movie about railroads. In it, a guy ripped the two metal parts out of the ground

and started whipping them around. It was called X-Men. Oh yeah, that railroad movie. I love trains. Oh, I know you're into trains. I'm going to buy you X-Men on DVD. You'll like this one scene where he whiffs around trains. What are your favorite train movies?

Oh, Trainspotting? Sure. The Taking of Pelham 123. What's that one? The Polar Express? Uh-huh. And the one with Unbreakable, Unstoppable? Oh, yeah, yeah.

What about the one with Chris Evans and it goes around and around? Oh, that's a good one. Whatever that's called. Yeah. Future Train, Cold Train? Yes. You know, Class Warfare on a train. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Any train movies? Snowpiercer. I don't know if it's a train movie just called Clockers. It's a gangster movie, But one of the main characters Liked trains Yep That counts That counts

Yeah absolutely I wanted to always Take a train trip What was the one Maybe Dr. Zhivago Oh yeah Dr. Zhivago

What about the Murder on the Orient Express Yep The Great Train Robbery What's the one Maybe Had Wesley Snipes in it? Three Tent of Yuma?

You know a lot of train movies. What was the one? Yeah, I used to date an engineer. There was one with Wesley Snipes. Sure, where they like... There's one with Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx. Well, he dies on it. Oh, collateral. Oh, collateral.

Oh, collateral. That's a subway. That's more of a cab movie than a train movie. But you know what? Honorable mention. He wasn't in a train at all. He was in a subway. Subways like a train.

Subways are true. Fair enough. Now, in addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls, if you would like to call us, our error phone number is 1-844-779-7631. I got the numbers this time. Oh, cool. That's one. Ugh, SpyPod 1.

It sounded so foreign to my ears. Like these people have. Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Aaron from Arizona. I'm calling in an overheard that's actually on behalf of someone who told me this story. They were at a buffet and there was just a

whole bunch of plates of food lying around and one of them was a focaccia and this lady was leaning over and she looks at it and goes, oh man, I love fellatio. She's trying to sound so classy. I know the proper word for this.

Mmm, yes. Fellatio. It's pronounced delicio. Can I get some... Can you toast my fellatio? That doesn't work. Yeah. Was it focaccia?

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Uh Yeah Uh What is it It was focaccia Yeah Yeah I don't know It's uh Eh Would I know focaccia to see it Yeah Oh yeah

Yeah You're gonna go Your classier uh Sandwich joints Will offer you a focaccia Oh focaccia I've heard of it I don't think I've seen it

It's like uh Like a panini bread It's a compact Yeah It's a compact bread Yeah It looks It would be like a good Like a panini bread? It's a compact, yeah, it's a compact bread. Yeah. It looks, it would be like a good, like a pretty sporty automobile if you put wheels on it.

Okay, sure, yeah. Pretty low to the ground. Yeah. Anyway, I'm really into cars and trains. Here's your next phone call. Hi, Dave Graham and probable guests. This is Alex calling in overseen slash overheard from Bloomington, Indiana. I was walking on campus, and I stopped at a stop sign waiting to cross, and a car pulled up, and a very familiar sound came from it.

And I looked over, and it was a tiny little man in his car blasting the theme song from the X-Files at just an ear-splitting level. What? And he was a tiny man? Tiny old man. Huh. Maybe he was on an episode of the X-Files. And that's his way of...

Because the X-Files was 20 years ago. Yeah. So he would have still been a if he's gotten tiny he would have just been a regular old man 20 years ago or he was a tiny uh you know tiny oh sure and then now he's a tiny old man uh either way it's not a long song either no like yeah does he have a mixed cd of tv themes or does he have the X-Files soundtrack? In which case is there going to be a song by Filter or something? Sometimes theme songs have extra verses that you've never heard in the actual theme song. There was somebody who cut, what's the new Netflix show where the guy's bulletproof?

Luke Cage. Luke Cage. Somebody cut it to look like the family matters opening but i didn't realize there was like four other verses yeah like it's a full song same with cheers that's got like a full extendo song episode one they had like a three minute intro of him like he's's on the plane. He's getting his baggage. Cause he's drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass or something. I don't know. But yeah, like there's all these,

the, the, the friends theme song was a hit song. Yeah. That's like a second and third verse. I don't know if they did the hand claps throughout. Yeah. It's time.

I revisit the Rembrandt's whole catalog. Sure. Here's your final overheard. Hey, David Graham and possible guests. I haven't overheard from Temple University. I was walking by the science building just now, and somebody said, and I rubbed their penis.

Oh, damn it. So he screwed that one up, but he called in again. Hi, Dave. Hi, Graham. Hi, possible guest. Hello. Currently calling from Temple University. I just walked past the science building, and two fellows were talking, and one of them said to the other one,

So I had to rub their pee holes together to make them eat. Oh, yeah. What? See you later. This guy's the best. Bundled with panic. See you later. I like that guy.

Yeah, he was good, and I applaud him for he didn't get it right out of the yeah he didn't give up but he must have been talking about like sims or something not real people yeah yeah or or like sea cucumbers or something like that some kind of weird animal that that makes them do stuff i don't know i don't know much about much i can tell you that um but you know what makes me eat getting that pee hole rub no absolutely all of a sudden i'm starving yeah just take me to a old country buffet old country buffet i think is maybe the only american buffet place that i've ever been to. Never been to Golden Corral. Never been to ABC

Country Diner. Are you just making things up? Is that a real thing? I don't know. Is Golden Corral the only other big... Is Cracker Barrel a buffet? Oh, probably Cracker Barrel. Yeah. I think it is. Dave and Buster's? No, that's like

just an arcade for adults. That's a barcade. Oh, yeah. Did you see that video online of the big fight at the Chuck E. Cheese? Nope. Woo! No, I heard about it, though. Yeah. It's worth seeing.

Is it? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's not very long, but it really makes you think, how did this start? Are the mascots involved? No, no, no. They're, if anything, they're cowering in the corner. Are there, is it adults or kids? It's all adults.

Okay. But it's a lot of adults to the point that I think maybe there weren't any kids there. But why were there so many adults? Staff party? Oh, it might be a staff party. In which case, that makes sense that there's no mascot because that's their night off. Yeah. They make kids wear the mascot costume and come out.

That's for our weird staff party They just Make it rain Well that brings us to the End of this year podcast Dave thank you so much for joining us Thank you guys for real Do you have anything that you would like to plug

This is coming out The 26th 24th 24th A week before Halloween like to plug, this is coming out the 26th? 24th. 24th. 24th. 24th. A week before Halloween.

Ooh. Very spooky. Probably just like Idea Hamsters is the podcast. Yep. I'm going to use the saying it. Me and another

very funny comedian, Mark the Bonus, do, and we just posted on, it's on SoundCloud and iTunes. Okay. And yeah.

And if people want to follow you, say on like a Twitter, something like that? On all the social medias, it's Dave and my last name is M-E-R-H-E-J-E. There you go. Yeah. So there. Merhaj. Merhaj. Merhaj.

Merhaj. I don't know anymore, which is why, yeah. Yeah. Either I always go, I don't know. Dave M. There you yeah. Yeah. I say either. I always go, I don't know. Dave M. There you go. Or I go and say it in Arabic. Say it in Arabic.

Or not Arabic, but just like Midheesh is like how. Yeah. I like that. I'm going to say it like that. Yeah, I'm not.

I'm not going to try. And do we, we. No, we just got it back from Victoria this weekend. Sold out show, but you know, it was fine. It was a fine show.

I'm sure. Yeah, absolutely. I jinxed it. It was a terrible show. Um, thanks everyone for coming to that. Yeah. And, uh, if you like the show, uh, you should tell your friends, you can go over to iTunes, leave a review that always helps.

And, uh, you know, come on back next week. Oh no, you should go to maximum fun. You should tell your friends. You can go over to iTunes, leave a review. That always helps. And, you know, come on back next week. Oh, no, you should go to MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recap, pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. Or maybe that train scene from X-Men. Maybe, if I can track it down. Yeah, maybe the picture of Ronald McDonald's wig. Sure. You know, a smoke machine.

Who knows? Who knows what we'll come up with? Yeah, and if you do like the podcast, please tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.