Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 452 - Katie-Ellen Humphries

Episode Date: November 14, 2016

Comedian Katie-Ellen Humphries returns to talk swimming, pop princesses, and camera straps.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 452. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who makes a mean, false squash soup. Mr. Dave Shumka. That's uh, I hate to...

Burst my bubble? Yeah, I hate to... Rain on my squash? Humiliate you in front of everyone listening. My wife made that soup. Get out! I only made it taste better by adding delicious things after she left the room. After I got home and she was like, this is bland.

What can we do? And I was like, chuck some miso in it. Yep. But is this something she made from a scratch? Mm-hmm. Ground up some squash? Yeah. Did she roast it?

She hand-roasted it. Hand-roasted it. Hand-roasted it. And took all the innards out. Yeah. And then- Souped them up. And it was good. It was good.

It looked good. It smelled good. There's more where that came from. Oh, yeah. It's the time. And our guest today, I think it's been too long since we've had this lady on. Aw. A comedian. She's part of the Lady Show, which happens still once a month, or we don't know.

Yeah, okay. Miss Katie Ellen Humphries is our guest. Hello. Hello, Katie. You're wearing the Lady Show hat. Yeah, my lady lid. How many of those hats have you sold? We have sold in the ballpark of about 150.

Because I see them all over town. People I wouldn't expect to see. Like non-comedy people. Comedy people. The mayor's wearing one. Just like I saw it on a really tough looking guy. Oh yeah? Yeah, that's our demo.

Alright. Tough looking guys. Always big fans of ladies. Yeah. Our demo. He's the lady chef. What's our demo. All right. Tough looking guys. Always big fans of ladies. Yeah. Yeah. Our demo. He's the lady chef. What's our demo?

Guys who look like us? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is worth mentioning. Somebody went dressed as you for Halloween. Yeah. That was really fun. Because you know what? It took me, I was like, hmm, what am I looking at here?

And I was like, oh, it's Dave. It was pretty great the costume was uh button down shirt uh same glasses as you yeah yeah glasses uh baby was a baby in a baby bjorn it was in a baby bjorn uh headphones around the neck and a pin that fits on my butt canada yeah i think that might have been it it's pretty a pretty good costume. It's real good. He was a white man. That's the skin I wear every day. Yeah, yeah. The costume I wear.

Without the beard, I would have thought maybe it was an Alicia Tobin costume. You two dress alike. We do. Do we want to get to know us? Oh, absolutely. Get to know us? Oh, absolutely. Get to know us. Katie. It's been at least a year since you were on.

And we mentioned the lady show. If people don't know what that is, it's a live show. Yeah, we do a live show. As Graham mentioned, we started out doing it the second Friday of every month. Right now, we're on a bit of a lady hiatus. A hi-latus. That's it. Yeah. But we got big things in the works coming up before the new year. Exciting. Yeah, keep your lady ears

peeled. Yeah, your fallopian tubes. Keep them peeled. What's new and exciting since last we chatted? Since last we chatted. I mean, this has been even just a heck of a week. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Tell me more.

I want to know more about this week. On Monday, my brother moved to Australia. Oh, right. I like a total jerk. Where did he live before? Victoria. Mm-hmm. Ain't like a total jerk.

Where did he live before? Victoria. So that was a commute worth getting over on the ferry once a month, maybe, and going to see the brother or whatever? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I was over there all the time. And now it's just my parents and my other brother. How old is your brother? He is 36 years old.

I'm time to start over in a new continent. I was going to say, I'm 36 36 i'm not quite 36 but soon yes do you feel do you feel australian call australia's calling maybe in a month or so that's a didgeridoo that's an australian meow. What is driving him there? Oh, I mean, I guess an airplane. Yeah. I mean, love or like cricket or something. The love of cricket? No. It's love, right?

Yeah, it's love. Is the woman or man or other Australian? Yes. So is it one of these we've done Canada, now we're going to go do Australia? Yeah. They've been together about 10 years, and they've done, he lived there for two years. I think they've been in Canada for about six. Did they meet there?

Here. Okay. Australians, you know, they're walkabouts. Oh, boy. They do. They love a good walkabout. They like getting out there, shaking hands. We have every kind of spider, every kind of snake.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, Barbies. Yeah. And carrying knives. Oh, yeah, yeah. Did you know that in Russian Australia, the baby eats the dingo? Yeah, yeah. Where in Australia?

I think just outside Sydney. Okay. And he lived just outside Sydney, British Columbia. Wow. That's true. So in that way, it'll be super easy. Keeping it close, yeah. In terms of describing where he lives.

Yeah. Is he somebody that has a job that will transfer over there, or does he have to start fresh in the new country? Yeah, I mean, he's, uh, he's going to, he has like a,

yeah, he's a plumber and it works the other way. Uh, like a digital nomad. Okay. So he can do, he can do the thing. And I just,

man, moving to a whole new, I mean, it's similar to Canada in a lot of ways, but then also, you know, they're going to, you you got to learn what a tall black is and what a long something else is. What's a tall black? A small coffee? A tall black is like a big coffee.

Yeah, I know over here it's tall would be small, but over there a tall. What are the other? What are the? What's the other one? A flat white. Flat white. Yeah. What's that?

I don't know any of the things yeah has he been to australia before yeah yeah you haven't though no would you go to visit because you don't know any of the coffee i don't know the coffee order yeah i imagine now the first time he lived, he was back like every three months, so I didn't have to. This time, it seems more prudent. I'd go. It seems like it's a fun... I don't know. Right? I mean, look, I'm

piecing together my knowledge of Australia very much from... Border security? Partially border security. Partially Mad Max series of films. And you know koala springs was very popular in the 80s it was a popular uh carbonated beverage yeah yeah i don't know that that what was your favorite flavor oh like some weird kiwi something yeah mine was something

black currant something yeah like ah black cur current you can't get any black current sodas anymore but in the 90s oh yeah well there's pouring ribera and everything yeah is that what that is uh ribera ribena ribena ribena it was the real acai of yeah 90s yeah oh boy and like where yam fries were they were in in the 90s, right? Where yam fries were like, they hit the scene in a big way. No, yam fries is definitely post-millennium. Thank you for calling it the millennium. Bienvenido a mi yam fries. But yam fries have stayed on, but not as a fun, they're not fun anymore.

Do you think you take them for granted now? Yeah, I think I do. when you take them for granted. Yeah. I think I do. Do you? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Like I used to be like,

we have fries or for an extra amount of money, we can convert an extra $800. We can convert, convert them. Yeah. Yeah. We can put them in the machine. Um,

yeah, I think it's, everyone found out they're not healthier. Hmm. But they're orange and they orange And they're kind of weirder They just have to figure out a way To make another thing into fries And then Then we're off to the races

Oh now we're going to get parsnip fries And it's going to be all your fault Are fries unhealthy because they're potatoes Or because they're fried No comment. I don't want to rile up the potato board. They're litigious. They're litigious.

They're like the Scientology of boards. Tubers? Yes, the Scientology specifically of tubers. So you would go to Australia but but reluctant it would be a reluctant is what I'm this is the vibe I'm getting no

I'll go she'll go come on but I was in Victoria all of last week helping him pack up and it was just like

the most fun you're just going through all old stuff and you're like I don't remember this thing well our parents just freaked out so stressed is our

is he the first to leave the nest uh well this one this is a big one he had like i say he'd lived there for two years before but then he came back so they were like we got you yeah oh right yeah did you find when you were going through this stuff? Did you find anything that you forgot that had existed? Well, a whole family, a real pack rat. So if we just found a lot of stuff in general, like Matt and I both have every ticket stub from every movie we've ever been to.

Really? Yeah. Every single movie you've ever been to. Yeah, I mean, except when we were kids, probably we didn't. Yeah, you wouldn't give a kid a ticket to hold they'd lose it what would a ticket stub from back in the day even look like because they cut they come on that shitty paper now that yeah we can't read them most of them don't have anything can like have them like these

teeny tiny and all you can see is like one little, and you just have to guess. You're like, oh, chicken run. It's got a C in it, so it could be anything from chicken run. What theater did you go to? What was your home theater? Oh, Caprice, all the way. Where's that? In Victoria? Yeah, in Langford is the greatest one.

How many theaters? Oh, probably topped out at four, if not three. Okay, three. Wow. yeah yeah real neighborhood joint yeah what was the the smallest theater thing was four in calgary that was we had a lot of singles yeah we had a couple singles but then they turned into i'm not sure what they turned into probably well the ones what are the singles now there's the in vancouver the rio is now yeah whatever anything goes club yeah we've we've had shows there yeah the dunbar is still a theater the park is still a theater and the the hollywood is now a church uh the hollywood is doesn't appear to be anything is it a church i think it's a church because i went by it today

it looks very clean but it doesn't look like any there's no posters up i think it's a church because i went by it today it looks very clean but it doesn't look like any there's no posters up or anything it's where they shot the video for eyes of a stranger by paolas really look it up okay no no you're right i believe you don't look it up just watch the video it's pretty uh yeah i was just there today i peered in the window and i was like because it still has the popcorn machine, which is, I guess. Fun. Yeah. Oh, boy.

Well, we'll be sending around one bowl to collect your donations and another bowl full of popcorn. Yeah. I used to cut a hole in the bottom of the donation. Oh, Dave. So people would drop coins under my wiener. Which is a thing I like yeah yeah yeah um what do you do with a popcorn machine once the movie theater shuts down there's very you can make cotton candy oh does it make other things buttery cotton candy um no anything I guess you need heated. You can puff wheat.

You can puff some wheat in there. Oh, imagine the disappointment if you went to a movie theater and your parents brought back a bag of puffed wheat. Speak for yourself. Oh, really? Big fan? Puffed wheat is like sugar crisp? Mm-hmm. But without the sugar.

Yeah, just the wheat. It's the puffed wheat, I think, is an actual thing you can buy. I know, but suppose I wasn't ever punished. So you like plain puffed wheat? Yeah, sure. Anything that you can just eat in a large volume. And just kind of like... Is there gluten in that?

Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't eat it now. It's a... Yeah, like in that? Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't eat it now. It's a... Yeah, like, why? Because it's calorie deficient? Like, you could just eat as many as you want of a puffed wheat? Well, and you don't get full, and you still get the fun of eating. Yeah, it's a chomper. You got to chomp on something.

What else? It's like a celery is like that. It's a good one. Yeah. It's got a good crunch to it. Popcorn is the ultimate one. But that's got... You put butter and salt on that, it's a good one. It's got a good crunch to it. Popcorn is the ultimate one. You put butter and salt on that it's not good for you. But you can have plain

popcorn and it'll be more satisfying than plain puffed wheat. But not as crunchy and fun as a celery. Look, when I go to a movie theater I will bring my own celery if they don't sell it. But, you know, to a movie theater, I will bring my own celery if they don't sell it. But, you know, I love movie theater celery.

I think he's on the celery board. How do you feel about the sound of people eating popcorn when you're at the movies? I feel insane about it. Right? Yeah. I can't. I don't even understand why people go to movies. It's too much. It is. I go to look at why people go to movies it's too much

it is I go to look at my phone and see what it's like in the dark I go to text people I here's the thing that I don't understand

about movie theaters now is they have games that you need to have your phone out in order to play they play right before the movie so you're

and then they're like now put your phone away yeah I feel like it's a real, there's a real bait and switch. But yeah, why is popcorn the thing that you eat during a movie? Or during anything

that's a live performance? You guys, I'm on the other side of this. You like the crunch? Yeah, I don't mind hearing it. There's literally, they call certain movies popcorn movies. Because they're loud. Orville Redenbacher presents.

The Orville Redenbacher story. Yeah. Because they're loud and action-packed, and you just munch mindlessly, and you can't even hear other people. I know, but, you know. That's all I can hear. I can't even see the movie. Are you going to these popcorn movies?

You're going to like Remains of the Day and stuff. You're going to a lot of Merchant Ivory movies. Remains of the Day! You're going to quiet, delicate British movies. If you think people are not eating popcorn at Remains of the Day, you've got to know what they're doing. They're eating tiny crumpets on doilies. Crumpets on doilies and rainbows on something. I would like a theater that had themed snacks that were connected to the content of the movie that you were showing.

Okay. Now that's fun. Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park, eggs, mini eggs. Ghostbusters. Marshmallows. Yeah, marshmallow ghosts. Yeah, marshmallows, perfect. Female Ghostbusters. Marshmallows. Marshmallow ghosts. Marshmallows, perfect.

Female Ghostbusters. Something empowering. Something that ruins childhood. Like a puffed wheat. Yeah. So was there a going away party? No, I mean they'd been really long

like two months of going away parties i think and then this one more just like by the end it was that get out of here party yeah and then uh what else happened so that was monday that was monday yeah tuesday tuesday happy days colonna with graham clark yeah we went to colonnaaters. And have you been to Kelowna before? I have been to Kelowna. The town is like, if Blink-182 bought a lake. Yeah, it's a weird blend because it's a lot of people there will go there for a wine tour. Yeah, it's wine country and energy drink country.

These are the two beverages yeah but how do they they're more or less harmonious i think uh like i don't think they can crouch on each other's territories there's also a lot of uh uh there's a lot of drug uh people like hell's angels and stuff yeah and they may there's also a lot of like grow-ups there and it's it's like a weird but then also like it's a retirement place so it's like i feel like the common ground is people who can afford boats yeah that's true have you ever thought about owning a boat you grew up in victoria that's boat country it's not lake country no that's on an island yeah yeah that's what i mean by boat country eventually you have to

get on a boat at some point yeah like a dinghy yeah uh do you have are you have boat people in your family yeah i mean that was i think that's my brother was sad to leave, uh, you know, his family, but I think he's most sad to leave his boat. Does he have a boat? Yeah. Oh, okay. Wow. Like sailboat?

No, he has like a little, like a time, like a little ski boat, but not like a, I don't know, like an old, like a motorboat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. You know. Um, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know. You know.

Yeah, I guess. Do I? Yeah, maybe I know people who have boats. And my dad, Big John. Yeah. He has two. Big John Humphreys? That's the one.

Two aluminum boats that my mother is constantly trying to give away to people. It's like anytime they run into people in a grocery store or something, she's like, hey, do you need a boat? And I'm like, that's my boat. Oh, that's a fun thing to have. Pretty cute. When you go to visit the parents, do they often try to get you to take home this stuff, a boat,

other things from your past? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. They're like, hey, how about that? And I'm like, yeah, next time. Yeah, I'll help you clean out the whatever. Yeah, for sure. It's a two-car garage. We can only get the one car in here, Dave.

Can we get some of your stuff? Not only my stuff, but then my dad will often try to be like, hey, Kate, I want to have this great vanity table. It's pretty cool. What do you think? And I'm like, you've been to my no-bedroom apartment before, right? Like, I don't have room for extra furniture. I don't have room for the furniture I have now. Yeah, I get a lot of sales pitches from my mom and dad.

Like, what about this thing? And I'm like, I don't even know that that was mine ever. I feel like they've moved past my stuff and they're trying to like yeah no this is your favorite uh moxie fruvis album you're like well i still support them in spite of it all um i uh uh i was what was i gonna say oh no mine was about boats you guys yeah well I took a boat like a little while ago and I'm

on the record I hate boats oh you don't you're not a boatsman no I don't like I don't like being away from land yeah

on someone else's schedule like oh yeah like being away and then being like well you can't go do a thing now

you're trapped on a boat yeah that's true might as well make the most of it uh as they put lip gloss on and start to kiss me um uh but uh i think part of it is i really hate the smell of a marina or like just a pier like it's all just exhaust and I love it and you love it love it gasoline

and like just gross still water fishy stink and you're you're a pro that if you could

bottle it you would you'd have one somewhere in the house I think so yeah I'd be like oh we're going water skiing

I mean I don't want to but I don't think it's gonna to work out between us I'm munching popcorn staying away from marinas and you're eating

puffed weed on a dock I do understand your desire to not be trapped somewhere without the ability to leave at any time that you want which and

as we mentioned I grew up in Victoria on Vancouver Island and growing up I never once thought about the fact that it was an island

and we left all the time to come over to Vancouver and stuff but it just didn't seem like a burden and then it was shortly after moving to Vancouver that I when I went back and all of a sudden I noticed that it was past nine o'clock and that there would be no way to leave the island if I wanted to right yeah and it had never once occurred to me before that that that was that was part of living living there like oh you just can't nope it's past nine so everyone is stuck here yeah like you could go hang out by the ferry dock if you want but you're gonna be there till seven yeah yeah and i yeah i like had a little panic attack what i mean i guess there's like a

helicopter if something happened but like you can't just go if you want to like let's flip the car yeah i was like you can drive around you can go up to the top of the island i guess yeah go visit your pals up in what is that area called your culet i'm not sure um yeah what uh because i've never lived on an island so i've stayed like i've been on islands where uh you do a show and then after the show you're like boy i'm hungry and they're like no there's no not only can you not have food here it's done food is done for the day unless you have a friend somewhere in the island with a fridge yeah they will take you in and make you something i mean they will they're very friendly yeah but that's not what you were after oh and i ever if at all avoidable going to

a stranger's for a house for any kind of meal then that's weird a lot it's a lot of times like bookers in a small town will be like, yeah, come over for dinner. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Like, this is not something I envisioned in show business. Yeah. I'm not a traveler that got stranded out and saw your barn light on. Barn light. Come on, Graham.

We only have one rule for comedians after the show. Don't look at my daughter. Did you ever find, Booker's will tell you what time to be at a play, to come out to the show. And they're like, well, I think you should come out early. And I hear like, an hour and a half early. So you can have dinner. And then I always assume that that means that there is either A, a place to get dinner there or that is supplied. And it doesn't matter how many times this happens.

That is never the case. Like they show up and they're like, now you have enough time to have dinner if you like. Yeah. You're just at a theater. You're like, well, there's nothing. Or get here early enough so we can give you a tour of the town. Oh, that happened to me. I was in Williams Lake and a guy drove me around the whole town before

he brought me to my hotel so i couldn't say uh drop i didn't know where it was going yeah so i couldn't even get out and be like well this is my stop he took me around the whole city showed me a wood plant where they make wood pellets well i thought it was something that grew wood. A tree? A wood plant? That's very silly. Yeah, so we went to Kelowna. Yeah. And this was my only takeaway from Kelowna, is when I was coming back, I asked the lady if there was any food past security.

And she was just like, couldn't have been more excited to tell me. She was like, boy, is there. There's a white spot. There's a place you could get coffee. She was so excited about the white spot past security. So I made her day just by asking. Yeah. And she was like, first we just need to do a complete cavity search.

Because you must be hard. What was your favorite part of Kelowna while you were there? In the 18 hours you were there. I mean, probably the yam fries. I just got to Kelowna. Oh, wow. They are behind the times. So that's Tuesday.

Wednesday, you fly back. Yeah. And then World Series. Who's that? Oh, yeah. Or as Big John would call it, the World Serious, because he's a cool dad. Oh, I love those yes

me too so did you are you you're a baseball fan I'm a baseball fan long time baseball fan yeah I'm a long time baseball fan

I don't I don't follow the baseball season that closely because I am not into appointment viewing I can't like now that

you can TV I'm like no I can't watch stuff in real time. And there's too many games. Well, and have you ever seen the Jays in 30? Yes, I love it. It's on Sportsnet. They will just show everything. They'll compress an entire baseball game to half an hour.

Ooh. And I think it's called Jays in 30. It is, yeah. And every, is it every at bat or is it just every everything that happens like everyone who reaches base it's the reader's digest of a sporting event now why don't they do that to all sporting events across the board always i don't know because baseball kind of has you reset you at your's a guy, you pitch to a guy. Yeah.

And I think other sports are kind of too dynamic. Like, you know, how'd the puck get over there? Yeah, but baseball's very... Or in basketball, they score 100 times a night. Yeah. So those, yeah. But, you know, I think soccer in 30. You could do soccer in one.

No goals. Soc do soccer in one. Oh, no goals. Soccer on the one. So, for the listener, we're recording this on the 3rd of November. Which means we predicted the outcome of the World Series. Nope, nope, nope. Other way around. Oh, other way around. Okay.

The World Series predicted us. So, also, this will come out After the election And so All hail President Trump Yeah yeah Ha ha ha ha ha It's from Maybe True

Do we Is that What they say Do they I guess they hail to the chief Yeah But they don't all hail All hail

That's for an alien overlord All hail Soon Anyway so All hail baseball Yeah But so you don't watch throughout the year

I'm on your team by the way I'm back on board with Kate oh okay because when it gets good in the fall it's

that's a point of my viewing yeah well and I'd like to I keep up on kind of like you know little there's exciting little league

little league yeah peewee all of us yeah college some college ball yeah So like, you know, little, there's exciting things. Little league. Yeah. Pee-wee. All of us. Yeah. College. Some college ball.

Yeah. I mean, I do follow our local single A team every year. The Canadians love them. And I love the game of baseball and the theater of baseball and the history of baseball. But yeah, any contemporary sport, I just can can't would you ever do a fantasy baseball would never do that well i was in uh when we were in colona one of the people i was with big fantasy sports pool betting guy yeah yeah uh damon schritter was telling me all about the the various pools he's sending emails he's working on he's working on it. He's making trades. Yeah, holy cow.

I... Would you? Could you? I couldn't. I would. On a boat? Would you? Could you?

I'm in this fantasy baseball league with a goat. And he's destroying me. No, I just don't get it. I have, like, no one's explained it to me. Of, like, why it's fun? No, no, I get why it's fun, but I just don't, like, I'm not, I don't know enough about baseball. Because sometimes you'll hear people talking about it, and they're like, oh, yeah, this guy's the best fantasy player. But he's not, like, the MVP in the real league. Right. So, like, it doesn't, this guy's the best fantasy player, but he's not like the MVP in the real league.

Right. So, like, it's not always direct. Like, if you have the best player in baseball, they may be like the eighth or ninth best fantasy player. But in the fantasy, they can fly and they can fight goblins and all that type of stuff that they don't get to do in the real league. They got a horse body. Yeah, yeah. Body of a horse, head of a horse. They're a horse.

They got a horse body. Yeah, yeah. Body of a horse, head of a horse. They're a horse. My observation of fantasy sports is that the winner, typically, of most fantasy sports leagues is the least employed person. Because they have so much time. Oh, the person who's best at, yeah. Yeah, because to pour over stats and make all the trades and do all the things.

I mean, like, set their lineup every day. Yes, yeah, absolutely. That kind of, like, there's some leagues where you, I guess, do it weekly. I apparently, I can't imagine there are leagues where you draft at the beginning of the year and then see you in October. Damon's in one just like that. Oh. He's in a hockey one where you set it. Well, yeah, hockey one worked.

At the beginning. And then set it and forget it. Forget it, yeah. But the hockey one I can follow because it's just the amount of points. Right.

I don't understand how. I don't understand any of it. Right. And football ones are very complicated. I think basketball ones too because everyone plays

a different role. At least in hockey it's just like you take, you get 20 players, take the 20 players you think will score score the most right all right yeah i don't no one's doing a coursey pool and that's that's very insider hockey stuff that people will love but they uh there was some thing because like you couldn't't be on anywhere on the internet without it being baseball everything. Oh, yeah.

Last night. So, I read a thing about the correlation between, what is it? It's the national and the American. American. And who won in the correlating presidencies. Uh-huh. and so if it holds the pattern that's established

I guess the whole time that it's been around it's Clinton Clinton all hail Chief Clinton apparently the owner of the Cubs has donated like 5 million dollars to Trump I also heard that

and apparently the Indians are racist what? this is the first I've heard of. And apparently the Indians are racist. What? This is the first I've heard of this. Whoever wins, we lose. I heard a thing about the game last night. It was a sports reporter that tweeted it because there was a bit of a rain delay. Yeah. And so all they had to go back to their dressing rooms. Is that what they're called?

Clubhouse? Whatever you want to call it. their dressing rooms. Is that what they're called? Clubhouse? Whatever you want to call it. Anyways, the Indians room had been done up as if they had won. It was champagne proof. So there were like tarps

up everywhere and there was champagne. Can you imagine? Oh, can you? And then you come back after the game, it's all gone. Well, they do that now. They didn't used to. People would like, it's all gone. They're taking the tarps down. Well, they do that now. They didn't used to. People would like, it would be, they would pop champagne and spray it everywhere out of pure joy. And now it's just so choreographed.

It's like an encore at a rock show. It's like, we know you're doing this. Right. So they tape up everyone's lockers so no one gets champagne on their clothes. Yeah. And they wear goggles They wear goggles So I don't get

Bumbles in my eye Cause I I don't want to have A hurt eye Tomorrow Is there a sport Where they drink milk After they win

Am I making that up Is that like driving Is there a racing Yeah yeah yeah The Indy 500 I think the winner Drinks a bottle of milk That's Where did that start?

And in the Kentucky Derby, they drink horse milk. Yeah. Delicious, delicious horse milk. I'm finding both of these things horrifying. One of them's not true. What? I was on a plane recently. Two grown gentlemen for their beverage of choice at the beverage service ordered milk.

Like just a tall glass of milk. And the flight attendant seemed confounded both times. And she's like, we have that for coffee. That's it. She came to look like, I mean, what? Like she has to open a million little tiny packets to make one glass. Little creamers? Yeah, those little creamers.

There's your milk, I guess. Yeah, because on a plane, they'll charge you for alcoholic beverages, but they don't charge you for a tricky beverage that you didn't. And then you bring out your own quick. Don't. I'm trying to upsell me to chocolate. Like in a little packet. Like a sweet and low packet quick um what

are the other big uh airplane tricks you got your tomato tomato juice i don't know i think is it just chock full of vitamin c yeah but it's the only time first of all it's the only time and every time i see it it blows my mind that tomato juice still comes in a can. It comes in that can that you've got to make like a triangle. I always get it out of a vending machine in a can. But I always see in that tomato juice can is always the reassuring thing. Black and red can. And the other one is ginger ale.

That's my go-to. Yeah. Because I'm a barfer. And then the... Cool. And yeah, you saw two adult men drinking milk on the plane. Were they sitting next to each other? No.

Did they do that wedding thing where they were drinking around each other's arms? It was a toast. They just won some sort of driving race? So, baseball. baseball yeah were you happy with the results i was happy with the game i didn't really have a horse in the race i mean like it was of course cool to see i was torn i'm mad because yes we want chicago cubs to win because that is great but on the other hand I really love the novelty t-shirt that says, any team can have a bad century,

and I feel bad. Right. So you were rooting for the curse to extend. I mean, I love a lovable loser. I feel like their whole identity is shot. That's why you're here tonight. Yeah. Yeah, are they the loser in this team,

in all of the different leagues? That was the longest loser streak. Right. Longest drought, I think. And does Cleveland have the second longest? I'm not sure if it's second longest. Definitely very high. It was very long.

They both hadn't. But, I mean, it's the difference of, like, over 100 years and over 45 years. Siri, who's got the longest drought? Graham Clark's sexual drought spans two centuries are you a uh highlander yeah i'm highlander oh i'm sorry that's a fine sexless highlander yeah highlanders are they supposed to have sex? No, no, no. There can only be one. So it's a lot of jerk and fine. Sure. I'm not proud of that. I'm a little proud of it.

Yeah. Also on the plane, I don't not, I don't understand. Guys are clearing themselves out. I've noticed that. What do you mean? A lot of,

a lot of horking noises, lots of blowing of noses, really just clearing themselves out. I've noticed that. What do you mean? A lot of horking noises, lots of blowing of noses, really just clearing themselves out up in the high altitudes. I haven't noticed ladies doing it, but I have noticed guys really. Yeah, a lot of blah. Yeah. Gross. Gross. Mm-hmm.

My parents-in-law lived in china for five years and they got a um uh they signed up for the local gym pool whatever yeah and they had to quit because a lot of clearing yourself out in the pool ah that's a thing over there hmm i mean it's not not a thing over here. I mean, it's I was just talking to a friend of mine who, so I was a swimmer before. Yeah, me too. I would only swim at the past nine o'clock

on the island. Oh yeah, you were like a competitive swimmer. Why not swim off the island? How long would it take you to swim from, what's closer, Horseshoe Bay and Nanaimo or Tawasin and

I don't know distances. I don't know how far that is, but I would say that at that time I would have been I would average if I was going to go a very long distance, like about 5 kilometers an hour. Oh, wow. was what's the longest distance that you swam in those days can is a set race the longest race that i would do would be 10

kilometers wow wow 10 kilometers so that would be two hours yeah two hours swimming wow i get tired after seriously too many i mean swimming is exhausting it seems so weird to me when i think about it now that i did that like i don't i can barely connect to it at all but i was hanging out with a friend of mine who i trained with growing up and uh we both stopped in our like mid-20s and so we're still now just kind of figuring out life as someone who is not in the pool 30 hours a week and one of the things she was like were you surprised by how much you have to blow your nose oh wow yeah i was like i did not know and i was like also that your ears get dirty i did not know that And I was like, also that your ears get dirty. Oh, yeah. You get sexy buildup. I did not know that happened.

Oh, wow. Yeah. This is, oh, wow. All these things I had no idea. Like, I have to like shower all the time now. It is terrible. I take my daughter swimming once a week. Just in this little.

How long does she swim? How many clicks does she do? Without me holding her, she goes down in like a second. Just sinks like a stone? Well, now she can sort of get on her tippy toes in this little pool.

Right. And her favorite thing to do is to just go under, like put her head under and flail her arms for like four seconds, which feels like four minutes to me. Yeah. And then I have to scoop her up. And she's like, no, away, away. I was trying to break my record.

Were you a little baby when you started swimming? Or when did somebody get into swimming yeah i mean i didn't get into it as a real little kid because i was a big coward i was very scared of i did not like to put my face in the water okay so looking back now i was relatively young like i started competing like when i was about 10 but in terms of just learning to swim it was not very long before that but like did you want to compete were you like or was it the parents like you're really good at this you should do this no my brothers were doing it and i'm the youngest of three and i'm like well we're here anyway oh okay and you seem to enjoy gymnastics and we don't care for that that's at a whole other building yeah fair enough i mean that's a lot of driving yeah and a lot of blowing your nose probably

comparatively but the chalk in there yeah gymnasts they're like well you're you uh you know run through shoes a lot more a lot quicker than you'd think with a gymnast because they're never wearing them and half the time they're flying through the air. I did some good math there. They run through shoes so quickly because they never wear them. No, once they're not gymnasts anymore.

Once they rejoin the non-gymnast world. I was going to say that I take Margo swimming once a week and I have this bathing suit that was like dark green and at the pool there's this dryer where you can put your bathing suit in and you hold it down. Oh, yeah. It spins around.

Yeah. And I guess I haven't been rinsing it out well, the chlorine out well enough because I was looking at the bathing suit and I was like, this is this green seems to have faded quite a bit. Yeah. And I went to the website of the company that makes the bathing suit and it is a dark green bathing suit and I looked at mine and it

is my flesh tone. It's like It's not green at all. It's completely like if I was all. It's completely, it's like if I was dead. It's completely unrecognizable as a dark green. Did you, because like my cousin, he was a competitive swimmer. He was blonde.

His hair would occasionally turn green. Right. From the constant chlorine. Do you have any of that kind of stuff? Any weird effects? No, I didn't have that because I would wear a bathing cap. Oh, yeah. But it doesn't keep your hair dry, does it?

No, but it doesn't get quite the exposure that dudes who didn't wear caps would get. That's when they would get real fried. Real fried. Yeah. What I did have, I would have my suit straps would rub because it was a distance swimmer. And so we would be swimming like sometimes upwards of 16k a day between like two workouts right and so the friction would just get these so i always had these uh kind of just raw scars and things on my neck which everyone at high school thought were hickeys which i did not know for quite a while. And then when I found out that everyone thought that,

I was like, and I'm still not popular? I was like, no one is coming up to figure out where I'm getting these hickeys at. Oh, yeah. She lets anyone suck on her neck. Right? On her shoulders. I think that's it.

That wouldn't cut both ways. If a guy was walking around with lots of hickeys, people wouldn't be like, cool. Vacuum tube? Now, if you, yeah, because if you were a swimmer, is this something you would have had to do, like, before school and after school kind of situation? Yeah. I was a real unpleasant high schooler, like more than most because I was so tired. Yeah.

I just had no patience for high schoolers because also teenagers, like most humans, when you ask anyone how they're doing, the first thing they say is that they're tired. And anytime someone that says that to me, I would just be like, I hate you so much. Yeah. How many kilometers did you swim? Yeah. And really, you couldn't get guys to give you. Oh, I know.

I know. Fuck off. I'm tired. You're not tired. I'm tired. Yeah. yeah and really you can't get guys to oh i know i know i know but i knew uh people like that in high school who were like these kind of like elite human specimens and they would yeah they'd be before school and after school and yeah i gotta be like 4 30 every day really and it's so weird when i think about it now it's very weird when i think of like when i like look at uh when i'm watching the olympics and then these people come out and they're like whatever 19 oh yeah and i'm like so you've been doing this since you were what six maybe and you've been up at yeah four and, so you've been doing this since you were what? Six, maybe? And you've been up at, yeah, four.

You've been up before the sun the majority of your life. You're like a farmer, except stronger. Or smaller, depending on the sport. Yeah, sure. Farmers go through so many issues. Women give up farming yeah um and then you gave it up you said in your in 20s yeah when i finished university then you were like yeah i guess because then what are you gonna and i wasn't like truthfully for how much i put into it was not that good really yeah you didn't like no medals no trophies trophies yeah i was

like the rudy of swimming though i'm like so much heart they let you do the last length yeah that's why i did marathons i haven't seen rudy so please don't finish this analogy why why did you do a marathon just because it was well i don't i'm very fast, but I'm kind of the same. I have good endurance, but like, so I'm the same speed. Just sort of however long I'm going. What's the longest Olympic event? 800 meters or 1500 meters. So like a mile. Oh, that's not very, compared to what you were doing, it's not very much at all.

Yeah, but it's because it's not exciting. They also, I mean, they do do open water 10K swimming in Olympics now. Oh, open water. They just added it. Yeah. Because they're sharks. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's the... 10 kilometers in a pool. I'd be like, ooh. Is that what you were doing? Open water 10 kilometers? Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought you were just doing laps and laps and laps and laps.

No, anything... Yeah, anything over a mile, that would usually be... That would be outdoor. And then do you have somebody with you in a boat or something that's sometimes rudy rudy they're just shouting yeah you can do it but like if you're out there by yourself like because if you're a runner or whatever like you can have a bottle of water do you have bottles of water with you when you're swimming uh no sometimes there'd be stuff in the boat. I didn't take much.

Like, two, I mean, 10K is not, like, your body. You don't need to replace that much. Your body doesn't. The amount of time. But you could take, yeah, towards the end sometimes, you'd take, like, I don't know, a little bit of water, Gatorade, something from the coach boat. Right.

I would be doing that. And longer events, they definitely do, like in 25Ks and stuff. I'd be like a whale i'd be filtering things through my chair just to keep my energy up yeah yeah you eat a lot of krill yeah got some some boots and oh yeah yeah absolutely boots these are classic classic boat sure fishing uh do you know if there's any like uh classic boat sure fishing

MSF do you know if there's any like treasure in your belly I mean there's this like puppet in the life that's crazy

because you know like I've watched documentaries about the people that swim the English Channel the channel and they see they don't have to swim it anymore they can just get on the train that swim the English Channel. The Chunnel.

And they see they don't have to swim it anymore. They can just get on the train. Was that something that, do you know anybody who did that kind of thing? Like, you know, there's like people who like to climb and then there's one guy who's like, I'm going to go up Mount Everest. And you're like, oh, brother, we just like climbing, man. We just like the gear. Do you're like, oh, brother, we just like climbing, man. We just like the gear.

Do you know like a channel swimmer? I knew someone that did an event where they, for charity, swam around Vancouver Island. Okay. Which I wish I was better at distances. I can tell the listener how far that is. That's a big, long way. But yeah. Holy cow.

Did one go? No, no. Oh, okay. No. There was like stopping and then getting back in. Okay. Like you didn't have to sleep.

You didn't have to sleep in the water like on a dinghy. How long would that have taken them? I think maybe they tried to do it over the course of a week.

Wow. But they had to work. Yeah, yeah. You could only do it over the course of a week. Wow. But they had to work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They could only do it after work. Just so tired at work. And then I gotta swim back to work. I swim all this way.

Oh, I went to... I gotta swim back to the office. We did not map this out. You just come in. Stop it. Guys, do you think these trunks are fading? I went to the website.

They were dark green. It's a good color on me. Light green, not a good color on me. Oh, man. Dave, what's going on with you? Oh, you know. Not a whole heck of a lot. But what I will tell you is a couple weeks ago, on the show, we had Debra DiGiovanni,

and we briefly spoke about Madonna and her nicknames. Can you name any of Madonna's nicknames? Madge. Yep. Donna. Yeah. I Think royalty. She's the queen of pop. Queen of pop.

I've not heard her call that. Really? It's been a long time. So I was looking up what she was called, and there is a Wikipedia page. I'm miming a square. Which is what a webpage looks like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now Optimose it from mobile.

Oh, God. Oh, boy. What do you use? I used to use this app called Wikipanion, and then Wikipedia's app just got way better. But I still have Wikipanion. Okay. Just, you know, loyalty. I just don't use it anymore.

Do they get any money out of me not using their free app? Yeah. Okay. use it anymore. Do they get any money out of me not using their free app? Yeah. Okay. So, what I did is I was curious about...

Well, I saw the nicknames for her on this Wikipedia page. It was called Honorifics in Popular Music. she has four nicknames according to this. Queen of Pop. Queen of Reinvention. High Priestess of Pop. Oh boy.

And the First Lady of Pop. Nicknames traditionally shorter than your own name. Yeah. Yeah. These are not. What am I? What can I call you for short? The High Priestess of Popular Music.

What am I What can I call you for short The high priestess of popular music And so I went through this page And I was like Well she can't be the only one Who have been called the queen of pop No

So I went through And I discovered All of these people Who have been called the queen of pop And other ones And other names of them And I will read them now Yes

Here we go Celine Dion Canada Queen of pop Sure canada queen of pop sure janet jackson queen of pop acceptable doesn't make sense though because they're brothers king of pop yeah yeah but weird family it's true um she's also princess of pop. Who, Janet Jackson? Janet Jackson. That one makes more sense, I think. And Queen of R&B. Oh, no, I would say, oh, no, she's the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin. Okay.

I only went Pop and Papa Jason. Okay. This page was very large. That's what I call my dad, Papa Jason. That's what Alan Thicke was on growing face papa jason zebra kylie minogue queen of pop sure princess of pop and goddess of pop also you know because she's english surprise duchess of pop she's also she's Australian. Oh, she's Australian? Yeah. Oh, sorry. Can you be a Duchess

if you're Australian? No, I think Fergie is the Duchess. Fergie Ferg. Oh, right. Let me love you a long time. How come every time

you come around my London, London, she's not on this list. Wow. Britney Spears, Queen of Pop. Queen,

I would have always thought of her as the Princess of Pop. Yeah, like the stepmom. Queen of Pop. Queen. I would have always thought of her as the Princess of Pop. Yeah, like the stepmom. Princess of Pop. Stepmom. What? It was unclear. I think they just had to be called this once

in one publication. Yeah, they were. Now, Adele, Princess of Pop. No. Queen of Soul. Whoa. Move over, Aretha Franklin. Yeah. I'm Queen of Swole. No. Queen of Soul. Whoa. Move over Aretha Franklin.

Yeah. I'm Queen of Swole. Yeah, you are. Because I've been working out at Curves a lot. Yeah, you work out exclusively to Queen's music. Sure. Is that the entirety? Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Christina Arugula. Arugula. Yeah. Princess of Pop. Princess, sure. Lady Gaga. Princess of Pop. no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Princess of Pop. No, she's the Queen of Pop. Well, I don't know if she ever grew out of princessdom. Gwen Stefani, not Princess of Pop. Pop Princess. Pop Princess. Yeah.

That hurts. Whitney Houston, Pop Princess, Pop Patrol, and The Voice. She's just The Voice? She's just The Voice? She's just The Voice. Who is this? I already forgot. Whitney Houston. Was that in the era when Elle Macpherson was the body? And we're just like, we're making one woman.

And so is Jessie Ventura? Yeah. We're making one woman out of a body and a voice. Yeah. Who's the head? Yeah, who was the brain back in the day? I know a pinky wasn't. No, it was

Dr. Joyce Brothers. Whitney Houston should have been Queen of the Night if I was, if I'm going to punch this up. Yep.

Good one. Yeah. Kelly Clarkson, pop princess. Nah. What? Just the personal, just the.

Oof. Yeah, there's, she's certainly a pop princess. She's certainly pop royalty. Oh, I don't know. Certainly pop Warner. I would say that she's, you know... Wildly talented. Moving on.

Okay. Okay, I don't want to start a fight. The other title she has, the original American Idol. Yeah, there we go. Now we're talking. And the queen of covers. What?, the original American Idol. Yeah, there we go. Now we're talking. And the queen of covers. What?

I guess from American Idol. I'm like, that's almost pop stars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And cover bands. Taylor Swift, pop princess. Sure. Yeah. Country pop princess.

Shania Twain, country pop queen. Agreed. Sure. Agreed. Who are you going to put in that place? Yeah. Rihanna, princess of pop, R&B princess. Sure.

And Caribbean queen. Oh, Caribbean queen. Yeah, okay. It was that one guy for a long time. Yeah. Eddie Ocean, Billy Waters. Avril Lavigne, princess of pop uh-huh punk rock princess yeah sure pop punk princess and pop punk queen she was never sorry pop rock princess and pop punk queen i think i would give

her pop rock over pop punk what's well what is pop punk i don't know if it's anything i would say it's levine no if it's anything it's biff naked come on she's the queen then avril levine's a a genie come lately okay biff naked's the queen of pop punk you won't you won't find any argument here i don't care i don't i don't agree you cared enough to look this up oh buddy alia queen of urban pop oh i don't care for that and also princess of r&b and i think she was queen of the damned wasn't she yeah but also she uh you once you're past, you get to be in name, but you don't retain the title. Oh, sure. Like Queen Victoria.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bjork. Aaliyah should be on money. Aaliyah should be on money? Yeah. No argument here. Just Canadian currency. It's not just on airbrushed jean jackets.

I think Shania Twain. If we were going to pick one Canadian to be on our money. And we've named three already. Yeah, I would say it would be Sinead. I'd say it would be Avril Lavigne. She holds four royal titles. Queen of Pop Punk.

Bjork. Queen of Experimental Pop. Oh, sure. Queen of Avant Garde. Yeah, well, I think Laurie Anderson's the queen of the Avant Garde. You're thinking of Lonnie Anderson. Yes, from WKRP. It's an editing of Jen Sm-garde. You're thinking of Lonnie Anderson. Yes, from WKRP. It's an editing.

You're thinking of Jen Smulders. Lana Del Rey, queen of indie pop. Queen of me asking, who's that again? Yeah. Remind me. Amy Grant. You know this. You're going to answer this one.

Queen of religious pop. Queen of Christian pop. Yeah, well, same. Potato, more potato. Now, here we're getting into the interesting ones. Oh, what? I thought it was done. Oh, here we're getting into the interesting ones. Oh, what? I thought it was done. Oh, no, no, no.

Why didn't you skip ahead to the interesting ones? Gloria Estefan, queen of Latin pop. Queen of Miami sound machine. But also, Talia, never heard of her. She's the queen of Latin pop. Oh, yeah. She's also the queen of telenovelas and the empress of beauty. Yeah.

Oh. All right. Now we're going international. Okay. Oh, boy. Namia Amuro. Oh, no. Come on.

Nobody that we don't know. That's no fun. She's the queen of Japanese pop. No, no, no. Thumbs down. She's also Japanese Madonna. Oh, okay. That brings it back around.

See? Getting interesting. No, not really, but you know. I'll skip one. How about you skip to the last one? Nope. Aw. Look how long this page goes.

Anita Mui, Queen of Kanto Pop Uh huh Uh huh And also Madonna of Asia Ah yes Now I'm just gonna be doing Madonnas from here on out

Okay Until I also do Other things Uh huh Okay Jolin Tsai Uh huh Asian Madonna

Yeah Not to be confused with Madonna of Asia Yeah Brenda Fassi The Black Madonna from South Africa. Graham, I let you talk during your thing. No, you didn't.

Well, we haven't done your thing, and I will snore through the whole thing. Ai-Yi Ji-Hoo, the Chinese Madonna. Uh-huh. Paulina Rubio, the Mexican Madonna. Isn't that fun? Your definition of fun is slipping. Gloria Trevi, also the Mexican Madonna. Mm-hmm.

There's also Yuri. She, too, is the Mexican Madonna. Mm-hmm. There's a Mount Rushmore of Mexican Madonnas. Mm-hmm. Boy, this was fun when the three of us were playing. Well, I think you really, there's nothing to play with here.

Cher, goddess of pop. Well, now we're back into the realm of something I can comment on. She, too, is the queen of reinvention and the queen of comebacks. Oh, absolutely.

Those are all, I think those are all appropriate. And the queen of camp. Oh, sure. Okay. Now, that's just the ladies. You might be wondering about the men. I was not.

No, I wasn't. Justin Timberlake. Uh-huh. Prince of Pop. Yeah. Also, president of Pop. What? Oh, Mr. President.

That seems. Prime minister of Pop, if anything. Show some respect. Because I don't think we should be electing a pop. Yeah, that's true. It should only be... Well, except for the boss. We don't elect your boss.

I do. You go into a job interview. And I say, I'm voting for you. Okay, ten more. No. Okay, four more. No. These four, Jackie Chung, Leon Lai, Andy Lau, and Aaron Kwok.

The Justin Timberlakes of Asia. Are the four heavenly kings of Chinese pop. Oh, very nice. Okay, now seriously, just the interesting ones. Uh-huh. Did you know that Shakira's nickname is Queen of the World Cup? What? So Katie Allen, he'll just keep talking.

We can just talk. We can have side conversation while he just keeps reading off this list. One other thing happened in Kelowna. Neil Diamond. We only got in a conversation. Jewish Elvis. That's the comedians about what you lie about when people ask why you're in town. Right.

Sigh. Because I had said at the restaurant, we're in town for work. And then later when a different waitress asked, Erica said, we're here visiting friends from vacation. And I was like, that's going to open up way more questions. What about Jim Morrison? Would you call him the king of orgasmic rock? No, Liz, I'd call him the lizard king.

Come on, don't be crazy. Yeah, how did that slip past? And finally, Beck, king of slackers. Oh, well. Oh, you like that? And finally, German singer James Last is the last king of easy listening. The last king? Because of his name, I guess?

Yeah, and because that movie last king of scotland came out so what's swimming like so you what do you say when you're in town they say what are you in town for what is your go-to lie uh well in this instance i just said for work although i've mostly stopped lying to people about like very popular for comedians to lie when they're on airplanes and stuff. It's like, hey, what do you do? Yeah. Because you don't want to get in a conversation about it.

I say I'm one of the heavenly kings of pop. The four Chinese heavenly kings of pop. Of canto pop. I have found that. Those who teach canto. It's just easier. Pop. Often I'll just say comedy now.

Because I don't want to have to make up follow-up lies. Oh, sure. But when I was in Victoria, I went for a bikini wax. Uh-huh. Here we go. Yeah. And there's a place in Victoria that I like to go, and I go mostly because the name is Foxy Box. Oh.

Yeah. But I like that it's very upfront up front like that's what they do they do bikini waxing because every other place that does bikini waxing it is most of their business but they label everything like they're this the their spa and it's gonna be like relaxing treatments and everything's called like tranquility glen is it most of their business? No, but that's what I'm there for. And I go in. Do you ever go to one for anything else?

Nah. But so, that's what I like about this place is that there's no pretense about that and there's no like, there's not Enya playing

and there's nothing like, this is going to be relaxing. They're like, hey, I'm going to rip their regionals out. What kind of music do they play in there?

I'm picturing rockabilly. I'm imagining Shakira, the queen of the world. The aesthetic was very rockabilly, but there was not music. There was a TV playing Ellen. Oh, that's good, too. Yeah. That's relaxing, I suppose. There, I got in a conversation where I failed to lie about doing comedy.

Yeah. And. They were like, hold on to your armrests. I'm going to really give this one a go. I'm talking about doing comedy to this woman. And my knees are by my ears. And she is gently applying hot wax around my asshole. When did this become the X-rated podcast?

I was doing a very family-friendly, But as she's doing that, and I'm telling her about comedy, she's like, it is so important to do what you love. Rip. Hold on to your armrest. Yeah.

Do they ever strap you down like an electric chair? Here, bite onto this. I think I'm confusing electric shock and electrolysis. Important to do what you love. Important to do what you love. Yeah. Oh, boy. What's going on with you, Graham?

Not much, man. This is the one thing that I saw. And it's something I have not seen. Do you have a long list of music nicknames? No. I have... Tell me the last time you saw this. Somebody walking around with a camera around their neck,

like hanging from the strap around their neck. Ten years ago? I mean, I see a lot more of those digital SLR cameras now. But like, I'm talking just like a regular point and shoot. Just a point and shoot, yeah. But like some guy who was with his family, he was wearing around his neck like a drawing of a tourist. Uh- point and shoot. Yeah. But like some guy who was with his family who was wearing around his neck like a drawing of a tourist.

Uh-huh. That's out. I thought that was everybody's phones now. I thought that was that's not a thing people still it was close enough

to Halloween that I was like this guy's dressed like a tourist. But then I was like For a while I had an iPhone and a digital camera.

Right. And the digital camera was camera took better videos. Yeah. But now it's not better. Do you still have the camera? Yeah, but it's just so inconvenient because you have to charge the battery. Instead of an iPhone, which you charge all the time, multiple times a day. But then you're not taking out a separate and like, I don't know,

just seeing somebody with it around their neck. I do like those sort of like, that like hippie fabric. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like maybe a cool music teacher would have a guitar strap. Yeah, this used to be a poncho. I got it as a gift.

People know I have one interest. Yeah. Oh, man. If you have one interest, you're getting tons of gifts around that one interest. Especially if you're a kid. If you express even half an interest in, oh, boy, I like horses. That's it for the rest of your kid life. You're getting nothing but brushes the rest of your life.

You get all the stuff that's around a horse, but no. Carrots and sugar cubes. Yeah. One year they just buy you a saddle. There you go. You're like mane and tail shampoo. But I saw a few days ago, we went to this at Van Dusen Gardens, the local tourist attraction here. They do a family friendly Halloween night.

Ooh. Where it's, you walk around and they've made, there's probably 200 different pumpkins that are carved in different ways. And there's activities. You can make a little pipe cleaner spider. Is it outdoors? It's indoor, outdoor. The activities were inside, but the, you could just tour around the gardens outside. Right.

And, uh. I've ever been. And it's like, there's a path that's the size of a sidewalk and there's hundreds of people walking through. Yeah. With children. Yeah. And there's people setting up a tripod

on like, just making it even narrower for you to walk past so they can get a picture of Mungun. That's also something that's gone away

is the, at least I haven't seen it because we used to go like, I grew up in Calgary, we'd go to Banff. That would be like the short. We'll be in Banff in early March to a'd go to Banff. That would be, like, the short.

We'll be in Banff in early March, do a livestock podcasting yourself. That's how you do a plug. But that was, like, the short, close getaway kind of place. And it was always, didn't matter what time of year, it was always just completely chock-a-block with tourists. And this was back in film camera day, so everybody was walking around with a camera. And tripods with the timer on every corner there was a group of people standing there and then and you'd get asked to that was always a really funny uh comedy premise of like not making it back to the to your family in time to pose with them yeah and also uh you know to show that a

neighborhood wasn't good, you'd be like, here, take my picture. And then the guy runs away with the camera. Yeah. Or like, I feel like it was in a Mr.

Bean a lot, like him trying to get someone to take his picture. Well, that's, it's, uh, it's a bite. Now it's all,

it's a selfie stick at the very most. It's a selfie stick. Yeah. Or it's just a couple. I don't understand why people hate those so much selfie sticks yeah i mean i i think the thing is that often people will be standing say in traffic using one sure but i think the invention is that was inevitable i guess if you're you know somewhere picturesque and as you're taking a nice picture i guess it's the idea of

someone not incessantly taking selfies yeah yeah that is a bad thing but yeah the the thing itself but yeah they're just like this uh intense hatred yeah and i was like oh selfie six where is our society coming to i'm like i don't know people stop asking me to take their photos now and i love it oh and you get so nervous too if it was film oh man i don't want to screw this up sometimes people will still ask you to take their picture and and uh that that sort of they used to like have to explain like and it's the big button with the big red button to take a picture yeah like it's the obvious button uh but now it's, oh, we all have the same phone? Okay, so.

Yeah. And, but now everybody takes a thousand. That's the thing. And one, two, three, I just took a hundred pictures. You were all blinking in all of them. But yeah, anyways, it was just, it was so, I just haven't seen it in so long and and it also made me think why are we just putting phones in pockets all the time why is nobody walking around with their phone on oh sure on a neck strap because then it's boom yeah how come that on one of those um

like a feed bag or like somewhere somewhere just right around your head. Yeah, or keep a phone in one of those harmonica holders. That's a good idea. Can you operate a phone with a tongue? I've never tried

because I'm not putting my tongue anywhere near my phone. Let me just see. Oh, this new OS. You don't have to swipe to open it. But yeah, no, it works.

Really? Yeah. Oh, well, that's fun Oh, cool The harmonica thing would work Oh Oh, Marika Gombitova is the queen of Slovak pop music Damn it

Damn it She's also a songstress of the 20th century Wow Wow Over there, probably, that's, you know Whoa, whoa, whoa Wasn't she from somewhere? Yeah, Slovakia.

Yeah, that's what I meant. Oh, man. Now, do we... We gave her a whole century. Wow. You know, that century was probably the last one. It's already over. Hey, is a songster just a female songster?

No, it's somebody who stitches songs by hand. Come on. Shh. Give it to me. Should we move on to Overheard? Yes. Is the newest season of The Great British Bake Off any good? What exactly are furries?

Which shows should I binge watch on Netflix? What movie should I go see this weekend? Hey, how did Crash win Best Picture? I'm still mad about that. For answers to these questions and so much more, come on over to Pop Rocket, a pop culture roundtable show with me, Guy Branum, Winter Mitchell, Margaret Wappler,

and Oliver Wang. Catch us every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you decide to get your podcasts. I'm not going to judge. Instead of door busting for a plasma TV this Black Friday, how about you stay in and snag the best deal of all, MaxFunCon 2017 tickets. MaxFunCon West returns to Lake Arrowhead next June, and MaxFunCon East is back in the Poconos next September. Tickets for both go on sale Friday, November 25th, and they're going to sell out fast. So mark your calendars and visit MaxFunCon.com on November 25th to secure your spot.

Max Fun Con, way more fun than a smartwatch or whatever. Overheard. Overheard. Now, Graham. Yes, sir. When we were in the break, Katie Ellen used a phrase that I feel like it could be interpreted in a number of different ways. And so if she said someone was Ferris Bueller-ing you, what would that mean? That Ferris Bueller-ing would be that they're supposed to be here, but they've decided to fuck off for the day. That's my interpretation of Ferris Bueller-ing would be that they're supposed to be here, but they've decided to fuck off for the day.

That's my interpretation of Ferris Bueller-ing. Because I, in the break, Abby has gone out and I now have the baby monitor here. I have the baby on a camera. And so, Katie Ellen, you meant? Yeah, so in this context, I meant that Margo had replaced herself with a dummy and we were watching a tape of a fake baby sleeping and she was off having crazy adventures in Chicago. And I thought maybe

Ferris Bueller-ing meant that the baby just starts talking to the camera. What are you doing? Get out of here. I mean, these are all great interpretations. In any context, I think it also might be just like wildly taking advantage of your friend's nice stuff. Because he doesn't have the confidence to stick up for himself.

For all I know, that's what the movie Baby's Day Out is. It's just a baby version of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Oh, and that little leopard vest. I'm Abe Foreman, sausage baby king of Chicago. Oh, man. Now I want to see that movie What I don't get is How does Abe Froman also get a table? Because later you see Ferris Bueller's dad

Talking to Abe Froman As they're leaving the restaurant Oh really? Abe Froman's a real guy? Well no He's a character in the movie No no no But he's a real guy in the Ferris Bueller years

Yeah because Ferris Bueller St. Yeah, because the Ferris Bueller stole his reservation. Oh, that's right. That's who Abe Froman is. Who's the guy that, what's the name of the guy that when they call the principal? Is it just Ferris Bueller's dad that he's pretending to be? Cameron's pretending he's like, got the crazy voice. He's trying to be Sloan's dad. Sloan's dad.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, that's settled katie overheards is a segment we do every week where we uh overhear things in the world yeah and we report them back with your lady ears with our lady ears yeah our over ears gotcha cut and they. Yeah, we always like to start with the guests. They're a fun thing. Oh, I love fun things. So my overheard this time is from the summer. I spent a couple of weeks in New York, which, you know, is not important for you. I just want to go to the big city sometime.

A couple weeks? I know. Last time you were here, had you also spent a couple weeks in New York and you had talked about morning raves? Oh, yes. Right. Morning raves. Yeah. You know, every two years or so, I do something fun.

Treat yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to the boys of Jackknife Comedy. Big Stop Podcasting Yourself fans. Hi, guys. I did their show when I was there. They're very nice. Patrick and

Gideon. Ooh, Gideon. Good name. Maybe I'll name my daughter that. Not bad. The fetus has been placing Bibles all around the apartment. The fetus has? Guys, there's a whole lot

of logic. Life begins at conception. It's proof. So my overt is from when I was walking back to the place I was staying in Brooklyn. And I saw these two gentlemen outside of this area. There was a lot of restaurants and bars and things. And I thought they were going to fight because then they were just really going at it. And one guy was really leaning into the other guy and just let him have it.

And as I walked by, I heard the one guy say to the other, he said, listen, you're a good guy, but I can make you a great bartender. Yeah, that sounds like a cut scene from Cocktail. Right? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. A cut scene from the cocktail video game i meant an edited out scene but yeah i guess a cut scenes in a video game isn't it

oh yeah i love the cocktail video game yeah it's like dance dance revolution where you have to do a thing like yeah shake up the thing before goodness i got. I got the hee-mee-hee-mee. That was the last is, oh no, that's not true. classic movie that had hippie hippie shake in it.

That's probably true. I was thinking, is that the last great bartending movie? But then I forgot Coyote Ugly. Coyote Ugly? Yeah.

Have you ever seen someone in a park practicing bar flair? No. We used to have guys in our backyard when I lived with Sean Proudlove,

the guy below us. Practice with with the whatever, the bottles. Yeah. I guess it would be bottles just of water. Yeah, but they're made of something that doesn't shatter upon dropping it a thousand times. Tempered glass? Yeah, maybe. But yeah, they're, oh boy. Well, we had a good laugh at their expense.

So there is, wow, there's enough people practicing flair bartending that they make bottles for practicing flair bartending. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it makes sense once I'd seen it. I was like, yeah, I guess you wouldn't just go to work and be like, I wonder if I can do this. Smash, smash, smash. We just wasted $400 worth of alcohol.

And a lot of it was the good stuff. Yeah. You know what would be hard to do, flair bartending? Crystal skull vodka. Sure. That'd be a hard one. Just juggling. Oh, yeah.

In that case, it might be the easiest. Yeah, actually. And you could practice on a real skull. Because they don't shatter so well. Yeah, fill it up with liquid. Yeah. Well, I mean, I feel like my brain is just liquid. My thoughts are liquid.

I feel like the thing... Your brain is just liquid. I feel like my thoughts are like liquid. I feel like... The way they flow. Shakira is the queen of liquid. She is the star of your liquid dreams. Oh, sure. I got a guy who lives in the star of your liquid dreams. Oh, sure.

I got a guy who lives in the land of destiny's child. Who were the people who were components of the liquid dreams? Elle Macpherson was the body. Sure. Denzel was the face. Arnold was the body. Jesse Ventura was the body. Three bodies, one face. I knowura was the body. Three bodies,

one face. I know she had a body like Jennifer. Yeah, a body like Jennifer. And I remember

because a friend of mine was like, look, Aniston, right? And I was like, I think Lopez. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Right? But we were both wrong. It was Love Hewitt. Did you both say Love Hewitt?

Yeah. I was going to say Jason Lee. Why not? Sure. Do you know to say Jason Lee. Why not? Sure. Do you know Jennifer Jason Lee is Bruce Lee's son? Take it back. Oh, sorry.

Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine is hardly one that counts. Mine too. Oh, boy. Because this is something that was said to me buy my two year old job. Yes. So we do this thing every night.

My wife and I swap who does bedtime. Although if Margo had her way Abby would do it every night. Also the phrase my wife and I swap. Did they cancel wife swap? Does that show go away

with no one protesting? I don't think so. You think it's still on? I do. Yeah, people sent in their keys to the network to get them to keep it going. Even though that was not what the show was about, it was so disappointing. It was the most inflammatory name. Oh, boy.

Talk about your bait and switch. So I do, I was doing bedtime last night. And so the way it works is, I mean, we have this whole thing leading up to bedtime where we do bath and we have diaper and we brush our teeth

and we go outside and we look at the stars and we come inside and we have a bottle. We had the bottle before the brushing. It doesn't matter. It's in any order. Then we go.

That's with all three of us. And then one of us, me or Abby, goes into the bedroom. We read some stories. We put on the white noise machine. We put on the little nightlight story lamp. And we read stories. And then when the stories are done, baby goes in the crib. And then we lie down next to the crib and we hold her hand through the crib for like five, ten minutes.

And she, when we lie down, she always says, day. And she will, and that means we talk about her day. Yeah, yeah. We talk about all the things she did. This is baby small talk. Yeah. Here's what you did today. You woke up.

You, you had a bottle of milk. You watched some Daniel Tiger. You, you had a bottle of milk. You watched some Daniel Tiger. You then, you, you hung out with mom for a little while. While I did, I got ready for my day. And then, so yesterday I was going through her day. And sometimes I'll start talking about my day until like, no, no, no.

It's a subject. Margo's day. And so yesterday I said, and you went to your art and music class and I saw pictures. You banged on a drum and she's nodding. Yeah, I did that. And you drew a picture. I saw you did a drawing

and she stopped me and she said, art. I didn't do a drawing. It was art. Please, dad. Please. You wouldn't get it. Yeah. Art.

It was doi. Yeah, it was pencil crayon on braille paper. Doi, daddy. Doi. So that was mine. It hardly counts, but you know what? 452 episodes. Absolutely.

What have you done for me lately? We haven't done a nighttime recording in months, I would say. Yeah, that's true. And we're, it's a weird one. We're loopy as all get out. Y'all have moved mornings? Yeah. Well, usually we're like a-

You're middays. Yeah. But you know what? This suits me just fine. This is our, our roots are in the nighttime. Yeah. But you know what? This suits me just fine. This is our... Our roots are in the nighttime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true.

It's good to get back. Just strip down. Yeah. That's why I'm naked, you guys. I know. Just strip down. Bare bones. Yeah.

That's why you can see my bones. I'm going to go in for a bone wax. A little wax on my bone. Bone wax. Just buff them right out. Yeah. Just buff him right out. That'll buff right out. Yeah, because this other car rubbed against my bone.

Yeah, yeah, I got some dents in there. Dude, you scuffed my bones. Bro, don't scuff my bones. Bro, stop scuffing my bones. You could be a great bartender. Stop scuffing my bones. You could be a great bartender. Stop scuffing my bones. Graham? Yeah.

Go. Mine is courtesy of Halloween Eve. Oh. I was waiting for a taxi cab. So I was standing outside. And my street, not a ton of houses decked out for the trick-or-treaters. There was a couple, but they were on exact opposite ends of the block. Yeah.

So there was these poor two kids and their respective guardians. Just like they've been so... To them, it must have seemed like a century of no candy between stops. And so the one girl was flagging, and she was just like, complaining, wanted the parent to pick her up. And the parent was like, no, we're going to walk. It's just up there. It's just on the corner.

And the parent kind of knelt down to give her a bit of a pep talk. She said, when we get to the corner, what are we going to get? And the kid was like, candy. So it was a nice little like, this isn't the first time tonight that she's had to have this conversation. I'm on a street where there are very few, like the three or four houses next to me, they have their lights out because they don't want anyone mistakenly coming up. Right. And we had our pumpkin out and we had candy for kids, but we didn't get very many. No.

Because, I mean, I guess, like, why go to this street when there's just one house? Yeah. And then there's some streets that are, it's every house. And I wonder, do those neighbors like will be the street, will all participate and will, or does that just happen organically? Like,

cause sometimes it's like one street will have like seven houses that are like super Halloween. Well, and there are, there are neighborhoods that do that. Like people go on Christmas light tours. Yeah. My neighborhood, not far from me, there's a couple blocks, like maybe five blocks.

And all of the houses, there'd be a number, like each block will have at least one, if not more haunted houses. Right. Like the whole community is out and just like, and you can tell that lots of people. Yeah. Like drove to that neighborhood. Like, this is where Halloween happens. Yeah. My parents got zero kids this year.

And they had full-size chocolate bars. Oh, man. My folks do the full. Because they also don't get anyone. So that was always bad. So my dad was telling me what he did with all the chocolate bars. Mom made a dessert out of them. What?

They're already dessert. Well, then I took four of them. They're already dessert. And then I took four of them and I hid them. Oh, that. Victoria ran out of candy this year. How so? In the stores? Yeah. Victoria Walmart ran out of candy.

Oh, the shoppers drug mart had no candy. These are island problems. Yeah. How are you going to get more candy at the 11th hour? That's right. Or the ninth hour. Oh, man. Nine o'clock.

Yeah. Maybe it was just because I grew up in a neighborhood that had like lots of kids in it. But it was it felt like every house just even if you didn't have kids, you just had to. Oh, yeah. It felt like every house, just even if you didn't have kids, you just had to give out candy. I think, well, my parents live in a neighborhood of people who can afford houses that 70-year-olds can afford. And none of them have trick-or-treater age kids. Maybe that's the thing. Maybe if I was in a suburb or something, it would be more.

My neighborhood is all families with duplexes right like and so it's it should be it depends on the street but it's mostly you know the i think pretty good getting yeah we didn't go out we just stayed home because because margo is a tiny one and yeah and and she did she have any kind of notion of something was happening? Yeah, we had been through, you know, explained what Halloween was. Day. And we had done some, you know, we had, she had a costume and, you know, in one of her classes, they all dressed up one day. But, like, she's never had that much candy in her life. And she had, like, three fun-sized bars in a week.

And that was the most ever. Yeah. And she went insane. Yeah. When you're introduced to the notion of Halloween, the first time that you can understand it, it's the most goddamn magical thing you can imagine. Like, we get to go out, like, past. So, we're talking extended bedtime.

We're talking get to dress up in crazy costume. And we're talking as much candy, like more candy than I can even eat. Yes. It's crazy. It's crazy. So good. The one thing that we couldn't drive home was every time someone came to our door, we gave them candy. And she thought that then she would get candy every time someone came to our door. Because we gave her one the first time someone came to our door. We gave them candy. And she thought that then she would get candy every time someone came to our door.

Because we gave her one the first time someone came to the door. So she thought, oh, well, more for me then. But she didn't have a bag or anything. She just wanted to eat right away. Also, the thing about trick-or-treating, and I was thinking about this the other night, is how many different houses you got to smell in one night. You got to smell so many of your neighbor's house. You never get to smell what's going on in your neighbor's house except that and uh we would do bottle drives as a cub i those are the two times i get to smell i love the smell of halloween yeah because it's like a little bit of singed pumpkin

a little bit of like leaves. Yeah. And here it's firecrackers as well. It's like a smoky. Yeah. Um, and of course, um, like a cauldron of goo.

Oh yes. Hot goo. Um, now we also have, uh, overheards that have been emailed in. If you want to send one into us, you can can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. And this first one comes from Ashley H. in St. Louis, Missouri.

Ashley Hattison? Yeah. Why not have a cheat on your spouse time? Yeah. They haven't worked out the slogan, but it's close. A friend of mine was watching The Lion King with her daughter when the daughter asked, Mom, what's that red stuff Rafiki put on Simba? She then said quietly to herself, I bet it's anti-itch cream.

What is it? I haven't seen it. It's something out of a bowl, I think. Yeah, he cracks open something that he pulled out of a tree. Right. So, like, a fruit. Some kind of fruit goo. Some kind.

Maybe it was a wood tree. I'm not sure. I don't know. A wood plant. I don't know plant life. Some wood plant. Yeah, it's been a long time since I saw that. And I did not realize until very recently that the young lion is voiced by...

JTT! Jonathan Taylor-Thomas. Didn't know. It's the most attractive I've ever been to a lion. Really? You're telling me since then you've never seen a hotter lion? I stand by it. i am loyal to that crash um you was that you he was a big one for you was is always hey here's a thing that i think

should be goddamn illegal is i at the bottom of an article on the internet, it'll give you a clickbait thing. Yeah. And it'll be like 12 child stars who died too soon. And one of them will be Jonathan Taylor Thomas. He's not dead. He's not dead. The picture from the clickbait should have to be in the article. I agree with that.

I agree. I mean, write some legislation. New President Trump. We could call it JTT's Law. Well, they only make laws for kids who have died. They only name laws after dead kids. So it's Jonathan Brandes' Law. Yes.

If you had an opportunity to date a now adult Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Yes, please. Okay. all right. Thank you. Just wondering, because sometimes, you know, the whatever, the shine's off the thing.

The bloom's off the rose. Yeah, exactly. By the time they're, you know, like, I think probably Scott Baio broke a lot of, you know, ladies' hearts that maybe had long-standing crushes and he was still on some

kind of sex list for them and then you know he was spoke at this conference and maybe some ladies didn't agree with this stance sure anyways uh this next one comes from tomer s he spoke at this conference yeah there was a convention not a conference He spoke at this conference. Yeah. It was a convention, not a conference. He spoke. A convention conference. You can see how I get. There's pens. There's all sorts of free swag.

Yeah, there's booths, kiosks. This is from Tomer S. From New York City. I was walking down the street. I'm keeping him anonymous. That's one of our many listeners named Tomer. I guess they could have gone Whatever Might be Tomer Grace from That's How Many Shows

Yeah, yeah Is he still on the Would you date an adult Tomer Grace? Would you date any Tomer Grace? What about Tomer Grace as Venom in Spider-Man? What about Thomas Hayden Church as Sandman? No and yes. There you go.

I was walking down the street on a rainy day when I heard an older black male woman pushing a card exclaim, I never thought I'd see the day. A dog wearing galoshes. Right? It's huge. Yeah. Seeing a dog wearing shoes, that's something they don't understand how to do. It's not that they don't understand.

They want them off. They get it. They hate it. Yeah. But you put shoes on a horse, it runs around the track all the live long day. Why? Yeah, if you buy a pair of shoes or like a set of four shoes for your dog and it's like walking around funny, just nail those shoes into its feet. It's the only humane, they like it.

Yeah. Also, good luck. Yeah. Yeah. But what is the notion behind putting shoes on a dog? Well. Is it cold out? In the winter, there's salt on the ground that can...

But don't dogs love that? It can mess up their paws. Okay. And also the cold, like a frozen... Yeah, frozen. That's what I... But galoshes, that's just for a rainy day. Yeah, that's fine.

Dogs like rain. Guys, it's fashion. Right, you wouldn't get it. That's true. You think it's blue, it's fashion. Right, you wouldn't get it. That's true. You think it's blue, it's Cerulean. You know all the decisions that went into making this Cerulean sweater that you picked up out of the bin there, Hathaway. That is a very good Meryl Streep.

Meryl Streep. I haven't seen that movie. It's on the DVR. I hear it's very good. Yeah, but you know that speech. Oh, it's Cerulean. This last one comes from Chris K. in Trenton, Ontario. Hi.

I was in a restaurant with my wife when the conversation of a nearby table caught my ear. It was a woman who looked in her early 20s, explaining in great detail the difference between a red squirrel and a chipmunk to a man who looked in his mid-40s. This in itself seemed rather odd to me, but midway through the explanation, the woman stopped and said very seriously, Do you know what I think would make a solid investment? A panini press. Wait, who said that? The woman. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, sure. investment a panini press wait who said that the woman oh yeah

fair yeah sure yeah you're wasting all this money stand well also you you know you take you make a sandwich at home you gotta go down to the store and pay them a dollar to press it yeah that take it down to your dry cleaner they've got there's got to be a dry cleaner who's done that after hours, made a grilled cheese on the giant press, like a huge grilled cheese, and then invited all the other dry cleaners. Have you seen the video? Maybe there's multiple videos, but I've seen a video of a man working one of those presses really quick.

Ooh. And, you know, you put a shirt in. Oh. And you know, you put a shirt in. Oh. And he's like. This is the first I'm even hearing that there's pressing involved in dry cleaning. I have,

I'm not familiar with the process at all. I'm not familiar. I don't know what the, the martinizing, but, but when they give you your stuff back, it's, it's pressed.

Yeah. It's very, it's very, so they put it in a giant, instead of ironing. Yeah. Going hand back and it's pressed. Yeah, it's very, so they put it in a giant, instead of ironing the piece. Yeah, going hand back and forth over it. They have these giant hot steaming thing and you just have to make sure it's flat before it goes in

and then, it's basically a panini press for your clothes, but it doesn't leave grill marks. Have you ever owned a panini press? No. My parents. No, we had a not Is it a George Foreman grill account? Basically. That's basically what that No. My parents. No, we had a not. Is it George Forming Grill account? Basically. But basically what?

So no. We had one that was like waffle iron on one side and then you flip the thing around and it was a panini press. I used to edit it.

Do you have that? Yeah, my brother and I bought one for my parents one time. Did it also have a thing that make little pocket sandwiches? What is a pocket sandwich?

It's like. Like a pita? It's something that if you put a what is a pocket sandwich it's like like a pita it's something that if you put a sandwich in your pocket you then have to bring your shirt to the dry cleaner i was going to say hilariously i used to edit a newspaper called the panini press of italian sandwich issues that would be great if you ran a sandwich store and then the paper that you put the sandwich on was the panini press. And the whole store

was called the panini press and it had that sort of old-timey gothic font. And everybody who worked there wore a fedora with the press card in the top. Stop the presses! We're out of pickles.

Yeah. Would you like tuna salad? What a scoop or two. Anyway, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 1-844-SPY-POD1. That's one. Ugh, Spipod1. Like these people have.

Hey, Dave Graham, Possible Guest. This is Dan calling in from Milwaukee with an overheard. I was just driving home, I saw a house for sale. On top of the sign that normally says something like must sell or accepted offer, this one said not haunted. Do you think that's fun, just a fun October theme or that neighborhood is known for or if that there's rumors about this house yeah yeah or that it's like what could possibly make you think it was haunted more yeah this is totally not haunted yeah and we don't do a tour of the basement on this photos i mean don't look too closely at the photos, though.

The blur is totally... You're not going to do some kind of historical search on this, are you? No, you're Norwegian. You're Norwegian. You know,

past guest Paul Meyerhaug, him and his friend, he was doing renovations on a gym. I don't want to hear it no no no they did a funny thing for if anybody in the future does a renovation they painted a giant pentagram on the floor before they laid down the flooring so that if anybody ever takes it off every giant pentagram there fun it's pretty good. I like that the guy said instead of it says

not haunted instead of like a must sell. What else do you think we're doing here? Unmotivated. Hobbyist realtor. Give or take. I just want to try out the forms. What?

I only ever see sold. I see sold or just listed. Oh, yeah. Just listed. Or open house. Or a little bit haunted. Yeah. No murderers occurred here.

Like single and lucky. Yeah. Next phone call. Hi, David Graham looking. Yeah. Next phone call. Hi, David Graham and guest. This is Dave C. from Indianapolis, calling in with an overheard. One day, as I was leaving a certain roller coaster through the gift shop, I overheard two young female employees talking to each other. One of them, her name tag said Jessica,

had big teased hair and was chewing gum. Jessica, oh my gosh, I'm so glad that guy finally got a day off. Other employee, which employee, who got a day off? Jessica, you know, that guy that he keeps saying like the same thing every three and a half minutes, like every second of the day for the three weeks that I've worked here, you know, about like keep your arms and legs and everything inside the vehicle. Other employee. That's a recording. It broke today.

No way. It broke today. No way. I like that he kept the anonymity of the roller coaster, but then name names. A certain roller coaster that will remain nameless in Indianapolis. Al enters. Circle of hair.

Oval of hair. of hair terror terror um yeah is there a famous uh roller coaster in indianapolis or i don't know they probably have a six flags or something yeah i don't uh it's america's crossroads there's people that love they love roller coasters so much. Yeah, the coaster enthusiasts. Yeah, they go on like, I think I've, somebody that we know, and I can't remember who it is, was telling me that their honeymoon was going to different famous roller coasters. Oh.

What do you. It bums me out. I mean, if you both are into it, I guess it's fun. Oh, you... You go on the honeymoon and one of them's like, I'll just hold her bag. Yeah. I get queasy.

I'll... Do they have a ginger ale stain? Yeah. All the photos are of the person alone. The other one's a Guess My Weight enthusiast. Are you a roller coasterer? No. Graham, you?

I'll go on them, but I don't seek them out. You're not a thrill seeker. No. What's the craziest one you've ever been on? I guess I haven't really been on anything crazy. I've been on the janky one that they got here. That's not so janky. The wooden one that really chases you around, hurts your neck.

It's the one from the movie Fear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And maybe also Final Destination, one of the Final Destinations. Oh, yeah, yeah, probably. I haven't really been on any other than here. I've been on the one at the New York, New York in Las Vegas. That's on the roof of a building. Oh, the way high up one?

Yeah. Was that freaky? That seems like it would be pretty freaky. Yeah, it was freaky deaky. Yeah. I've been on ones where, like, we've been driving, like, driving past one, and somebody's like, roller coaster. And then we go into the park, and we just go on that one. Really?

Yeah. Doesn't it cost like $80 to enter one of these parks? Not not the shitty ones I'm going past. Oh, okay.

You don't like them? Have you ever liked them? I'm trying to think now. It's quite possible I've never even been on a roller coaster. Really?

I've been on rides which made which like It's obvious you haven't been on one because it's a roller coaster. Really? I've been on rides. It's obvious you haven't been on one because it's rolly coaster. You wouldn't, I've been on a roller, you wouldn't know my roller coaster. I went to a different high school. Have you,

so you've been on rides? Like you like, you don't like. Yeah, like just this summer at P&E when I was there to see Pep Benatar. Oh, cool. You pulled for a block. I did. I was like when I was there to see Pat Benatar. Oh, cool. You pulled for a blog. I did.

I was like, I'm going to blow your minds here. Oh, so mad. So amazing. Yeah. It's not just Pat Benatar. It's Pat Benatar and her husband. Yes. I think they bill it as.

Neil Giraldo. Yes. Yes, it was amazing. But, so my brother and I were there, and we had a bit of time before the show we're like should we try like i should go on like all right and we just went on the one that i don't know i'm moving to australia in a swing we're in a swing on a chain oh yeah oh yeah sure and that was like we're gonna test the waters with that one and then uh as soon as we're like so we both hate this this is terrifying i don't like this at all so going back to pat bennett oh please yeah yeah

all day every day she now travels with like her husband's not a fan that's not a famous rock and roll guy well he's not famous by name in the way that she is, because the band and everything was always her. But they have been married 37 years and been writing songs together for 35. He's always been in the picture. Right. He got married two years ago. Let's start writing songs. Okay.

Sorry. Twin clunks. I'm sorry. Strike that. Reverse it. Oh, okay. Writing 37, married 35. Ah, okay.

Met writing. Yeah. reverse it oh writing 37 married 35 ah okay matt writing yeah well graham and i have a podcast where we write songs together and maybe in a year and a half or so we might go on a roller coaster together yeah but it's like you know like mickey rooney like his wife joined the act kind of like in like last whatever they were together for like 10 15 years or whatever yeah and their star his star on the walk of fame is his name and her name. And I'm like, well, she was not famous. She was famous because of being married to Mickey Rooney. But then it's like Mickey and Julian Rooney.

Well, in this case, so he has always arranged all the songs and made all the albums. And they write everything together and always have. But yeah, I certainly didn't buy a T-shirt that said, have Benatar and Neil Giraldo but I did buy a necklace that said

Battlefield Heartbreaker okay greatest merch ever a necklace that said Neil Giraldo forever yeah it says Pat Benatar on the front

and then at the very bottom of the back Neil Giraldo it says on the inside tag Neil Giraldo oh what if he what if she passes away first?

Then he has to tour around as Neil Giraldo from Batman and Iron Neil Giraldo. Anyways, we wish them the best. I wish him the best. I wish them both the best. They were the best. Oh, really? It was so good. I wish him the best because I'm a men's rights activist.

I didn't notice you've been wearing a fedora this whole time. Well, one more overheard, m'lady. Hi, my name is Jen from Denver, and I'm calling with an overheard. This is from a few months ago. I was in the airport in Lima, Peru, and there was a lot of tourists there coming back from Machu Picchu. And I saw these two American kids. There was an older boy and then his little brother.

They were both kind of chubby and red, sparkly, sunburned. And there was one of those candy shops where you can scoop the candy into the bag, and then they weigh it for you and tell you how much it costs. They have all kinds of candy. And the older brother go over to the shop, and they step up to the Peruvian girl and say, We're Americans.

What's the craziest candy you have? Thanks, guys. Love your show. Whoa, I want to know what the craziest candy was. Oh, probably like some kind of cricket. Oh, yeah, totally. Some kind of weird, yeah, chocolate covered, caramelized worm thing. Yeah, we're from America.

What's the craziest candy you have? Yeah. We're from a country that has every candy. It's, although, who would you say is America king of candy or Britain? America. What about the Swiss? America. What about Lima, Peru?

Oh, yeah. Well, you know that she put the miss and misdemeanor when she stole the beans from Lima. Tell me. Oh, where in the world is our friend carmen can't remember last oh san francisco okay um now look this is a long episode sure one of the only nighttime episodes we've done in months that's great margo's asleep i'm just saying hit me with your night pod fire away there's no reason we wouldn't run out of steam at the last overheard. I'm full of steam.

I don't know what you're talking about. It's because you've been drinking that venti tea this whole time. It's just steam. Can I get a venti steam? That would be good. Room for cream? Steam cream! You take the lid off?

Is this a good time to plug my steampunk comedian character? Steam cream? Yeah. The punchline, no joke.

Do every joke. Yeah. Just steam. Steam! Steam! Now, can I plug my character, steampunky Brewster? Steam! Now Can I plug my character

Steam Punky Brewster? Yeah, what is that character? She wears goggles around her knees No wonder your mom left you in a mall Is that what the plot of Punky Brewster is? Yeah I didn't know that Well, I guess, why didn't I know that?

Someone got left in a fridge Really? Well, they were playing hide and seek guess, why didn't I know that? I know, someone got left in a fridge. Really? Well, they were playing hide and seek. Oh, and that was, did kids die? Well, it was like a, no, no, it was like, it was warning kids not to. I was real afraid of getting locked in an industrial fridge as a kid, which was not something that was coming up a lot. Yeah, because you weren't in the industry. Yeah. You weren't, uh,

you weren't practicing your boxing on a set of ribs hanging up. Uh, this was in a junkyard. It was like a domestic fridge. Oh really? Yeah. Was Gordon jump there teasing the kids in with free bicycles, junk bicycles.

Oh, that was the most junk. That was the, Oh my God, guys off the rails. Nowunk? That was the Oh my god, guys, off the rails Now, at the end of the podcast It's always a great time to plug anything that you have coming up Do you have anything in particular?

You want to plug? Yeah, absolutely So, as you mentioned off the top of the show I am in a group called The Lady Show We do a live show Who's in that group? Who's in that group? Thanks for asking

Morgan Brayden Past guest Erica Sigurdsson for asking Morgan Brayden Past guest Erica Sigurdsson Past guest Fatima Del Rey Past guest Diana Bang I don't want to talk about it

I don't want to ever And Robin Day Edwards That's our core group And we also Always have a special guest Come in and join us When we do our live show And we

Will be coming back We have a big announcement Coming up As I mentioned So for those in. We have a big announcement coming up, as I mentioned. So for those in Vancouver. And that big announcement is coming up right now. It is coming up. You know, in Minsa. So yeah, if you're in Vancouver, keep an eye on the Lady Show page.

You can like it on Facebook. I'm also on a television show on OutTV. So if you're in Canada, you can watch that if you have that channel. Or if you have the app to watch show On OutTV So if you're in Canada You can watch that If you have that channel Or if you have the app To watch it on OutTV Go Which is like

Gay Netflix But they don't want us To tell you That for some reason But it is And that show's called Morgan Brayden and Other People Right

You know what else is Gay Netflix? London Spy What's that? It's a show on Netflix about a gay spy. Oh, okay. That sounds good. I think it's good.

Bye, Spy. Maybe he's just undercover. Yeah. And then besides that, you can join me on Twitter at Miss Katie Ellen. K-A-T-I-E-L-L-E-N. That sounds great. And then surely you'll make the big announcement that we're all waiting to hear on Twitter. Baited breath.

Yeah. You're not going to make it right now. I honestly don't know it right now. But there is a thing. I think it would be great for ratings. I know most of it. Okay. Say, give us every other award

boxy box presents oh man uh wish we had that kind of sponsorship well you know what you've given them a shout out on the podcast uh you talked about what such a what a great job i can't see why they wouldn't they legit you gotta go got to go there. Yeah, I'm going. I can't believe it's not Butthole. Oh, man. Let's just keep going. That's what I would call my spa. I can't believe it's not Butthole. Do you do the front part?

No, no, no. I can't believe we don't do the front part. You want my friend who works across the street. Here are the best um waxing salon names based on butter substitutes i can't believe it's not butthole country crack um let's see imperial margarine yeah what are the other ones bum cell yeah what's the one with the little mouth? Parquet. Parquet. Yeah.

Parquet, Jay. All right. Do we have anything to plug? We'll be in Banff March 4th-ish. Yeah. The first weekend of March. Yeah. And the first weekend of Banff.

Bring your cameras hung around your neck and you know what if you like the podcast you should head over to MaximumFun.org check out the blog recap pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast

Punky Brewster a picture of me as a steampunk comedian yeah sure I'm making you that promise an artist rendering no

oh okay y'all think that I'm making that up. I don't get out enough. What else did we talk about? Pat Benatar and her husband. You know that she's the princess of... Pop Rock? Maybe one of those.

Maybe the Queen of Telenovelas. No, the five imperial Chinese wizards. Oh, sure. And a picture of? Swimming. Yeah. And, uh... Yeah, different markets.

Anyways, it's been a blast. Thank you for being our guest. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening. And if you want to, yeah to Join us back here next week For another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself