Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 453 - Paul Anthony

Episode Date: November 21, 2016

Comedian Paul Anthony returns to talk telethons, The Crown, and Dance Academy.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 453 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who agrees that Kevin can wait, Mr. Dave Shumka. Um, I disagree. Oh, you don't think so?

It's time for Kevin. Kevin's time is now? Have you watched any of Kevin Can Wait? I watched maybe five minutes of the first episode oh you can't judge it by the first episode no no no i mean i'm savoring it five minutes at a time it's like the first few minutes of the wire like you don't even really speak the language of the show until like four or five episodes in a lot of people don't know, Kevin Kuwait made an Esperanto. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's why I don't speak the language. But anyways, Kevin, we're here for you. We're waiting. Yeah, we're waiting. And our guest today, a return guest to the podcast, a longtime friend of the podcast, very funny comedian, producer, host, Mr. Paul Anthony is our guest. Hey, guys. Happy to be here.

Hey. All right. I like this character. Cool guy. Energy, energy. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us.

So, Paul, you host a once a month show called Talent Time. How many years has it been now? We're starting our ninth season. Does that feel insane? It's insane because they're really large scale variety shows. So to do that every month for all those years is pretty dumb. And like, because for people that don't know, it's like a talent show. Like you'll have, what was on the last show?

We did a telethon because the episode before, like we have this segment where we try to give away a hundred dollars to an audience member, but the question's always like way too hard. Right. Designed on purpose for them never to win. Well, this woman guessed it correctly. Like, what was the question? Do you remember?

Yeah. Like, they're always really, really long. I'm into questions. Okay. Well, you might be able to get this. It was a really,

really long one about Adam Sandler. I don't know why. Okay, let's go. But, uh... Speaking of Kevin Can Wait, he made a cameo in one episode

Oh you're right I do have to keep watching Yeah That's Kevin can't wait But Graham can So what was the question? Do you remember?

Yeah so The ramp down was Blah blah blah Whose mother Went to school With Adam Sandler From grades Seven till

Eight Said that there was One thing He was really bad at. We will give you $100 if you can tell us the one thing Adam Sandler is bad at. Oh, geez, Luis. I'm going to narrow it down to two possibilities. Comedy. No, I know there's so many, so many possibilities. As when I was in grade eight eight no one was funnier than adam sandler so i can uh the two possible answers are kissing oh that's it it was too easy uh i would the other one i was gonna guess was basketball uh i bet he's got a pretty good Pretty good game He's a

Three pointers And You know What are other things In basketball Oh sure Being a waterboy Yeah

Layups Layups Sleeveless shirts That's He wears He's already wearing Like track pants Yeah he does

Always wear Warm ups He's got tearaways on Yeah, he does always wear them. He's got tearaways on, so he might be able to ball at any moment. He's warming up for something. So you had to give away $100. Yes. Which put your show in hock. Yeah, so the idea was the next show was in a telethon to raise $100.

But what type of acts did you have on the show? We had this guy who's a Michael Jackson tribute artist. Okay. What era of Michael Jackson? He did, I think he did Billie Jean, but he was dressed like not that. He doesn't look anything like Michael Jackson, but... May I ask the race of this gentleman? He's a chubby white gentleman.

Oh, a chubby white gentleman. Oh, a chubby white gentleman. Interesting. Not chubby, round face. Neither are our race. But is there anybody that does a Michael Jackson tribute that does, you know, from right after he was in the Jackson 5, but before Thriller came out? What was that album? Off the Wall? Off the Wall.

Nobody does that era of Michael Jackson in a tribute act. Yeah, that would be good. It's all Thriller and then Bad. Which is the one where he's got a baby tiger? Thriller. That's Thriller? That's Thriller. What's Off the Wall?

For that. Is Billie Jean on Off the Wall? No. No, he's got an afro on. Billie Jean's on Thr Wall? He's... Or that. Yeah, he's got... Is Billie Jean on Off the Wall? No. No, he's got an afro on... Billie Jean's on Thriller? Yep. And... I'm pulling out my device.

That's true. I'm willing to believe that Billie Jean... Off the Wall was like Ben... No. Yeah. Off the Wall was... Gotta be starting something. Gotta...

Wasn't that on... That was on Off the Wall. That's gonna be on Off the Wall. Ben, I think, was before any album. Oh, really? Oh, you're right. I'm thinking I'll be was on Off the Wall. That's going to be on Off the Wall. Ben, I think, was before any album. Oh, really? Oh, you're right. I'm thinking I'll be, what was the, the I song. It was a love song.

I don't know. But he had like an afro on Off the Wall. Yeah. And he was wearing a tuxedo in there. Yeah. With short pants. Yeah. But that's, you never see whenever it's a Michael Jackson tribute.

It's either late era, you know, bad or crazy. Sergeant Pepper Gold. Yeah. Whatever that is. Crazy knee pads. Remember? Yeah. Oh, boy.

Knee pads. Yeah. He had like crazy shin pads or something. Oh, and like maybe in the injuries in the Jackson five, he had shin pads. No, no. Way, way later. Yeah. Yeah.

Golden shin pads. Oh, sure. In history. Yeah. History. That's right. chin pads no no way in the way later yeah golden chin pads oh sure in history yeah history that's right finally a man's point have you looked it up dave's on his no i got off the wall to single live life off the wall Living off the wall Woo Um He he Sorry Oh yeah there he is Oh and the The short pants And the

Shiny Shiny Shiny socks Yellow shiny socks Yeah Don't stop Till you get enough Yeah

These are your singles From the album Rock with you Yeah I wanna rock with you All night Oh no We should have just Stopped right there Um She's I want to rock with you. All right. Oh, no. We should have just stopped right there.

She's off the wall. She's out of my life. And girlfriend. Oh, right. So, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No Billie Jean. You're right.

You're right. Sorry. Where do you find the act? Where does that come from? Well, all over this one, someone took a video of him at the Richmond night market, sent it to me.

I didn't look at it for a while. Cause this person sends me stuff all the time. And I'm like, yeah, but I finally looked at it and, uh, I was like, I don't know.

Then I met with him and he was like, I don't know. Then I met with him and he's a really sweet dude. Yeah. He lives on the autistic spectrum. Okay. You know how like people on the spectrum can like just like fall in love with a certain thing like they get. Yeah. Oh, okay. And like he was just really sweet about it. And so like passionate about Michael Jackson.

Oh, that's nice. Just kind of talking with him. I was just like, yeah, this is, this is great. Let's have him on and talk about how he got into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He also worked in the haunted house in Surrey. As Michael Jackson? Well, he, no, but what a missed opportunity.

They never did thriller. He said once like a flash mob thriller broke out outside while he was working inside. Oh, man. Now, what's the one where he's got like a baby tiger? Thriller. Oh, okay. The zookeeper soundtrack. I'm really on a Kevin James kick.

Dave, have you ever seen a tribute act have i seen a tribute no well when i was in las vegas the one time i went uh my hotel i don't think it's there anymore it was called the empress that was sponsored by a file format um and they had uh what were they called dealer-tainers

so they were wow uh all the dealers were like oh Whitney Houston or Shania Twain or Celine Dion

drug dealers should do that that would be great who would you like to buy drugs on yeah well who should we go Johnny Depp should we go drug by drug okay yeah yeah yeah oh yeah. Who would you like to buy drugs on? Yeah, well, should we go drug by drug? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, okay.

Who would you like? Okay. Marijuana. Just so you know, these dealer-tainers, they would deal cards, but every few minutes, one of them would go up and perform a song. Oh. so they were in character as a dealer but then they would also the entertain from this one communal stage that was just in the middle of the what do you call it sounds amazing no it was bad it was a bad hotel it's it it was like old vegas yeah and it's also weird like one of those those uh like where there's a bunch of different uh you know tribute act because it's not going to be the same type of music so it's going to be like

one is a country act yeah and then uh oh and there was time there was definitely it wasn't like they were going person to person like someone would do a song and then 20 minutes would go by right someone else would come up and do a song so then 20 minutes would go by and someone else would come up and do a song. So it's not like you were constantly going like, I just heard

Willie Nelson and now I'm hearing Skrillex. Why would there be a Skrillex impersonator? I mean, but as far as people...

Just walks up on stage wah wah. But he has at least a look that you could do a tribute. You know, there's a lot of great musicians that I don't think there's a look to them. You know? Like, I'm not sure. Is there an Aerosmith tribute band out there?

For sure there is. You gotta be. Steven Tyler would be an easy guy to do. But you just don't know if anyone looks like whatever. Yeah, Creedence Clearwater revival. Or the drummer from Aerosmith. Yeah, what's his name? Joe Buck?

Joe something? Joey Kramer? Oh, maybe it's Joey Kramer. Or is that the kid from Flight of the Navigator? Okay, so if you were going to buy marijuana off of somebody. A dealer-tainer. A dealer-tainer.

I guess a musician. They have to be impersonating a musician. Willie Nelson. That would be cool. You'd want to do someone that you'd like, oh, marijuana's cool. You don't want to have Oh, you don't want to have like to buy it off of somebody who's. Nancy Ray.

She goes up and does her hit song. These boots are made for walking. Who would you buy? I mean, Bob Marley is the... Oh, yeah. Bob Marley. Okay, now, Angel does. Chris Angel.

But yeah, who would you want to buy something like heroin off of? Oh, Hunter S. Thompson impersonator. But he's not a singer. It has to be a singer. These are dealer tainted. I would say Iggy Pop.

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Iggy Pop guy would be a good guy to buy heroin from. He'd have nowhere to put it, though. He'd just be wearing his underwear. Yeah, well, it would be in his tight, tight, tight, tight pants. Oh, I saw someone the other day. I was walking in the downtown east side and saw someone injecting someone else. And, like, what's it, the foot, maybe?

Oh, wow. Yeah, that was cool. Yeah. Cooperation. Yeah. Team work. High five. And finally, who would you want to buy, like, an ecstasy off of like a real party drug

maybe like a madonna oh good on a person good call really good call an amy winehouse maybe she has a distinctive look are there there should be probably a what is the ecstasy is like a rave drug though right yeah you're rave retainers right squarelex uh your chemical brothers do they have a look that you can yeah the one guy had the the yellow lenses in his glasses right um oh oh there you go that that solves that paul oakenfolds um tiesto is yeah what does tiesto look like oh boy what doesn't he look like he doesn't look like just you you everyone listening knows what he looks like just picturing up there picturing him up there behind the wheels of steel i'm picturing him that he looks like the penguin from bat. He's got a top hat, cigarette holder, and he's just mixing beats

and in between going, wah. Wah, thanks for coming. He's the Burgess Meredith penguin. Yeah. So you put it on the show. You got a little kid. What's your life looking like?

It's been a couple years since you've been on the show. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, right now, I'm just trying to book the next show because the telethon was a bit of a disaster. Why? It ended up costing us way more.

Yeah. Well, a lot of people didn't show up or couldn't. Like acts, like my director, my stage manager, the tech at the Rio was different. All this like behind the camera plus like four acts and my, including my co-host that we, I mean, he had a legitimate excuse. He was working and then he was supposed to like wrap at like noon and then they added all these scenes and he couldn't couldn't get out but the end of the telethon was supposed to be this duet that we wrote called friendship and like i'm imagining that you you did it by yourself i did you know me dave and like i rented like

matching tuxedos with maxing top hats matching canes oh god i hope it was you on stage in the tuxedo and like his tuxedo on a hanger just on a hanger that would have been that would have been the way to go i was too too depressed at that point to think of. But I did it anyways. And it was like, we wrote different lines to an old song that exists. But it was like, if you ever need a liver, I can give her. If you ever kill a cop, I'll get the mop. If you ever get a DUI, I will drive. i'll be your ride that's friendship oh yeah ship just another bland ship what other friendships have run its course ours will

intercourse and some fancy footwork yeah yeah yeah and then yeah ryan couldn't make it. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. So you sang it all by yourself, or did you leave open parts for him? No. I know. There were so many ways to go. I tried to just sing it all. Someone in the audience ran up to try to, and I said, no, this is better. Get out of here. And then I felt bad, and then I brought them up, and then I screwed up the song, and I

started over. It was really, really bad. It was supposed to be the grand finale. Uh-huh. screwed up the song and I started over. It was really, really bad. It was supposed to be the grand finale. Uh-huh. And I started the whole show over. Yeah.

I got some messages, like one message some guy sent me said that it was like the physical embodiment of that velvet painting of the clown crying. Me just doing that one

famous painting. It's so sad. Is that in the Louvre louvre it's gotta be or maybe it's in the uh smithsonian or something like that a part of uh our collective history what are the most famous velvet paintings elvis elvis yo yeah playing poker is that velvet i think so no that started velvet and then it just was reproduced because he couldn't sell it At San Francisco In velvet form No I think it was

Like an actual Like it was Like a realistic Looking painting Right But like Realistic I mean you know what I mean

Photo realistic There's like Sad Sad Mexican boy Like a Mexican boy With sad Giant eyes

Yes yes Right Um And then I don't know Just various Just go to Budgie's Burritos You just look downstairs

And there's Oh yeah Oh there's a prince one But I don't think that's famous No Yeah maybe a parrot Is there a famous Yeah maybe a parrot

Velvet parrot painting Uh Yeah Wyatt I got one Someone made it for the show It's been on our set For like years. But I'm petting a tiger smoking a pipe.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that was on Black Velvet. Yes. Some audience members just did that. Cool. It's cool. Um, did you make any money at the telethon?

Well, yeah, we made like $800 on like merch. And then, uh, but, um, someone stole the GoPro that we, uh. What? Oh, brother. Well, we... This is the... Boy, is this episode going to become a telethon? I swear, the last 12 talent times have been some variation on panhandling.

Just having auctions and all sorts of ways to make extra money. I would like to, if there was a panhandler auctioning off stuff on a street corner, I think that would be a lot of fun for people if you walk by. Panhandlers don't have a lot to give. No, but they could find a thing. Yeah. And then like the red paperclip. And also.

Trade it for a boat. Get a boat. Where does the, that guy's a Vancouver guy. Red paperclip? The paperclip who's, sorry, who traded it up to get a house or whatever. Oh, guy's a Vancouver guy. Red Paperclip? The paperclip who traded it up to get a house or whatever. Oh, he's a Vancouver guy? Yeah, and he just gave away a car a couple months ago. For...

It's for nothing. Beach. Whoever. For a beach. Speaking of panhandlers, where does the name come from? Isn't it Gold Rush? Because you're panning panning for gold and then uh that's what i thought it was that sounds a bit legit that you're just you know

sitting out on the street pan right handling i thought it was like well i'm not just gonna give you some money but here hold these pans for a second and i'll give you a quarter handle my pants yeah i'm a i'm a very busy baker or uh here handle these pants all right but you're gonna make this uh worth my while right um uh so you're you're working on the next show what else is uh shaking? That's kind of what's going on right now. Yeah, my ladies are out of town, so I'm just trying to get that. What do you do when you've got the place

to yourself? How do you spend the time? Definitely eat in bed and have my laptop in bed. Yeah. Dave, eat in bed when the ladies are out of town? Ice cream, yeah. All the ice cream in bed. Not like, you know, a croissant. I still have to sleep there.

Are you eating full meals in bed? I made like a huge thing of like nachos last night. You ate nachos in bed? Yeah. Don't tell Natalie. Too late. I'm texting her right now. Do you,

because they end up, they'll end up in the sheets. Do you put wax paper down underneath yourself? I don't think I spilled. I'm an adult. Yeah. Do you have a little tray?

Like one of those fancy little trays that people need? Oh yeah, like your valet would bring you. Yeah, no,

no, just a plate. I trusted myself So when you Your wife Not wife Yeah What do you call her?

Partner? Let's call her Natalie Partner Yeah Your partner and your daughter Are out of town Do you still have your Your staff

In the In the apartment? Do you have your You know your valet Your maid Interns and stuff Yeah Your interns

Bring me my nachos in bed Intern your valet, your interns and stuff. Yeah. Your interns. Bring me my nachos in bed, interns. No, it's no one. So I keep all the lights on, roam from room to room. Oh yeah.

Yeah. That's fun. I stay up really late and they go to bed early. Right. Kind of have a small place. So when they're gone, it's just lights on all the time, roaming around.

That is something if I'm ever home by myself i will wake up the next morning and be like oh i guess i left these lights on left the tv on in the other room yeah it's an all-night party it's an all-night party as soon as the as soon as you're by yourself but do you find yourself turning into going back to your bachelor ways or do you just, uh, Jeff, I mean, outside of eating nachos in your bed. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't, I don't, I have a pretty good, pretty good. I'm, I live a pretty kind of bachelor life even with really. So leaving back in the day, you were like before,

before the kid and all this stuff, when you were just a straight up bachelor, you lived a clean. Oh no. I just mean like I would lay in bed and watch like bad, like afternoon TV. And now if they go out, I'm like, ooh, what's on the internet? Yeah, yeah. Bad afternoon TV.com.

Yeah. What was your favorite bad afternoon TV show? I like the Steve Wilco program. Wilcos. Wilcos. Yeah. Who that? Who that is? uh jerry springer's bald uh and then he got his own show but he was the guy who wouldn't let people sit down if he didn't believe agree with him like if someone comes out he had some really awful people on his

show on the show yeah he wouldn't let people sit down yeah he'd have like a guy who was like uh you know i i'm i'm a pedophile this is horrible okay so this guy comes out he hopes what is his end game i'm gonna win you guys over i'm a pedophile let me finish oh it was really bad but he'd be like you don't deserve to sit and then everyone would cheer and he'd have to stand on the stage it was really awful what does that guy think he's getting when he comes out on stage well i mean the thing that i kind of felt bad about was the guy was going like i don't want to be this way like i have i have these feelings i know it's wrong i know it's bad somebody helped me

right kind of thing which is really sad it is really sad that he thinks that steve wilcox former bouncer can help him with anything but just the fact like that is to go out there and be like like i have in that way i have respect for someone going like i got because i think it is a mental i think it's a mental disease or something and someone going like uh help help me i don't want to be like this i'm sorry to bring the book no no but it's uh because you know i could see you going on a dr phil right because he's a doctor they probably don't want them yeah probably yeah dr phil is oh what was he a podiatrist it's just it just, it's the same trash. It's just quieter. Yeah, and everybody sits. He doesn't make anybody stand.

There's a lot of pauses. Yeah, but he doesn't go out into the audience and like, you have something to say. No, he doesn't want anyone's opinion. Well, I think. Oh, who's the first person to do that? Just go into the audience and like, hey, what does this idiot think? Oh, like, it's as little tale as all this time like yeah don don you sally jesse but probably even before that whatever existed before that like giraldo what did exist before that oh heraldo morton downey

senior what was his name morton downey jr okay but did that there was a podium that you had to like with a big mouth on it? Yeah. But in the, in this, like the host would go to you. What was there in the. Oh, right. Because I, I grew up in the eighties as you guys did as well. I don't remember any talk shows. Like, I don't know if, did they have that kind of format of TV show in the seventies?

I don't know about the 70s. No, like, the one thing that I remember being very weird is that Oprah used to be that type of show. Yeah, right. And then it just switched and then it was like,

here's how to live a good life. And it was like, but you used to have... People can grow, Graham. But I prefer they don't. Yeah, Graham wants to drag everyone down. But she, her show evolved, but then the other shows never did.

They all just kind of stayed like Jenny Jones. Right. Hers was more silly. Ricky Lake. Well, some people kind of like, there were definitely people who were in Oprah's stable. Like Dr like dr oz dr phil oh yeah yeah that guy was a nate burkus oh yeah rachel ray all got their own they all got their own shows just by being like kind of classy uh oprah friends right and then they most of them have squandered it yeah dr phil is not you know helping no he started off that way like i remember the get

real challenge i like love what was that thing it was people dr phil took people into a house and it made him get real what does that mean you know let people cry about like things that happened in their life and how they want to be better or whatever but he really like held held their feet to the fire and he really like uh get real got got them real and they would spend 24 hours a day in this house i think so and he would spend 20 minutes yeah definitely come in and just be like it smells in here hey get real hey you over there get real yeah you put some wax paper down on your bed before you eat that sloppy joe well you put wax paper under the nachos when you cook them don't you or do you cook them i

put raw vegan and i made nachos just out of play-doh no but you're not making the notch you're buying nachos pre-made and then you're cooking on top of them right like you're melting cheese or whatever are you a vegan i am yeah but uh they have pretty good cheese alternatives now yeah are you a raw vegan no okay we were for a bit and how was that it was i like i loved my life like i really like i saw things earlier had more energy like Like I loved it, but then like I couldn't. Get raw. Yeah. The get raw challenge. I couldn't like, traveling was hard doing it. Like the idea of cooked food just seemed so disgusting that it like really hampered my life. And then it kind of had to be all or nothing.

It's training, it just different happens. Like your body, I don't know, it normalizes in a certain way where cooked food just is not appealing and it was too hard for me for us yeah well it's like you really have to don't you have to spend all your time like preparing a thing and yeah i mean i want it in the microwave and in my stomach if i'm if i become a raw vegan yeah which is always in the cards absolutely it's on the table i'm currently neither yeah but i'm imagining cucumber sandwiches yeah morning noon and night cucumber sandwiches i loved your cookie joke you had a raw

raw vegan joke about cookies oh so i don't remember cookie dough i became a raw vegan or something that i something about it was about raw cookie oh yeah but i don't remember cookie dough i became a raw vegan or something but i something about it was about raw cookie oh yeah but i can't remember that yeah i ruined it i'm sure i was i was happy i was like you're gonna jump in are you i don't remember most of my jokes um do you yeah are you raising your daughter vegan yeah and what what are her thoughts? Yeah. So far, so good. Because now she... From the get-go, no... Well, we don't eat that stuff. Right.

And we live a healthy lifestyle, and we believe that it's a healthy lifestyle. Right. And we've done all the work years ago. I've been vegan for 21 years. Oh. So she just eats what we eat. So it's not really so you when when she eventually has you know pals and then they're like uh you know then are you gonna yeah try to snort a line of

hamburger meat like you could have been powdered milk or no no, hammered up a straw. Just that. No, rolled up a $100 bill. Raw, because we're raw. Pop a $100 straw. I'm just picturing that. Like, it's, you know, because it's the long lines of beef. Like, that's what I was picturing. Ugh.

But, you know, if her friends are like, we're all eating whatever do you do you prepared for that it's gonna happen i don't know you know like yeah i don't know like we're not super i don't know i have my niece one year there i i don't know if she had had mcdonald's before right but or she just heard her friends talking about mcdonald's right and one year for her birthday she was like can we please take the bus to mcdonald's she had also never been on the bus before she's like uh this year i want a slub yeah and so the parents were like um yes we can do that it seems like a bad day this is what my kid wants to do ride the bus and eat McDonald's can we drive a car there

and meet you so we don't have to take the bus back and did she like it? did you like the McDonald's? I think so, I think it's easy to like a McDonald's especially if you're a kid. Also, if you're an adult. Yeah.

They pack it with like sugar and delicious things. Like there's a reason it's successful. Yeah. I acknowledge that it's gross, but I can't deny that it's good. It's got what you crave. Yeah. I remember a kid that I went to school with, and their parents were trying to do

the no sugar thing and then uh get it giving that kid sugar was the best thing ever because he would go insane uh a big giant coke bottle glasses but if you gave him really like even the smallest amount of sugar he he would uh just go insane and start throwing stuff around It was the best I mean it was very bad of us to give him sugar Because he'd specifically been told not to have it But Entertaining Yeah exactly

That's all I was looking for Yeah Just a little entertainment Ever since Halloween Margot our two year old Has been demanding candy Uh oh And we hold it back

We give her one thing a day And we have to let her know her one thing a day but yeah and we we have to let her know that one day this will run out yeah yeah yeah she's no interested in candy yet she has no interest in it yet i don't know like i'm sure it'll happen at some point she's almost three yeah but she hasn't but we went to a halloween thing this year and we just talked to her beforehand there's gonna be all this candy, like take it if you want. But I think what we'd like, cause she loves like ice cream,

coconut, you know, ice cream or whatever. And I was like, you can collect it. And then if you give it to us, we'll, you will go for ice cream.

And she was really excited about that. Ah, that's a pretty, what do you do with the candy? I don't think she even wanted it. We thought she was going to go around and pick up stuff because we wanted her to do stuff. Basically, I want this.

Yeah, I want it. Yeah. She's not going to have it and you're not going to have it. Exactly. But she just had no interest. I don't know. Huh. I want to give it to my friend who's not allowed to have candy.

Oh, yeah. His Coke bottle glasses. Yeah, yeah. I have some leaves that need picking up. He'll just run around and pick them up. and he's not allowed to have candy i want to say oh yeah it's coke bottle glasses yeah yeah i had some the leaves that need picking up and he'll just run around pick them up uh just programming a task i'll give you these what's the what's the most sugary of all of the candy i mean it's got to be rockets yeah that's what i was thinking just like compressed yeah just discs of sugar yeah whatever the you know and i think they're called Smarties in America.

Yeah, yeah. But it was just like eating a tube of sugar. It wasn't that a candy too? A tube of sugar? Yeah, a pixie stick. Yeah, that's right. That probably was the most. How does that, how does that get past the Food and Drug Administration?

It's neither. Although, you know, sugar is a drug. Oh, yeah. I'm that guy. When you drink that coffee, caffeine's a drug. Oh, yeah. Gateway drug. We're always doing a little bit of drugs.

Yeah. Might as well do them all. Yeah. Might as well go for a soda. Favorite Kim Mitchell song. Might as well go for a soda favorite kim mitchell song might as well go for a soda when they're dancing in like miniature in that uh in that refrigerator to might as well go for a soda the best um here's the if anyone hasn't seen the video for might as well go for a soda put it in your yeah uh let's get what's what's the uh what's the plot of the video oh yeah don't drink alcohol no no no no no no

with the case okay if we can remember what it is it opens on oh do, I think. I think it's a guy. Okay. A guy, a curly-haired guy, sitting on his couch. Bored. Bored. Watching TV. Right. Switching to the stations. Bored. And then a tiny little Kim Mitchell, which is a woman's name, but he's a man. Yeah. He's wearing a hat to cover up that he's going bald. I don't think he's wearing a hat in that one.

Oh, he's still got a hat. It's a pretty bicycle hat. Yeah. It wasn't just any hat. It he's wearing a hat in that one. Oh, he still has that hat. It's a pre-bicycle hat. Yeah. Because it wasn't just any hat. It was that small bicycle hat with that little, little like, flipped up, flipped up visor or whatever.

Yeah. And, I think the little band is playing inside, like over a news broadcaster's shoulder or something. Okay. Oh, so he sees them on TV?

Uh-huh. Okay. Oh, but they're in the fridge. But then, he he like does a yada yada yada yada i don't believe my eyes he gets up to get a drink opens up the fridge and they're like in an egg carton and they're just jamming yeah yeah they're not yeah they're they're free they're not an egg carton oh they're free. But are they using stuff that's in a refrigerator? Is there a guy playing a turkey leg?

Yeah, exactly. Turkey leg. Are they using stuff in the... Oh, they might be. I don't think it was that smart. I think it was just miniaturized drum kit and stuff. Yeah, yeah. I think you're right. I think it was just their regular gear. Strat. I don't think

there was anything else in the fridge, which is sad, too. Oh, he would have had a carton of milk or something. A carton of milk or something. A soda. Isn't there a soda in there? Might as well. He's going for a soda. No, there wouldn't be soda. He would be going, he'd have to go for a soda. No, he can go to the fridge for a soda. Oh, I'm going for a soda.

My clock goes for soda. Nobody hurts and nobody cries. Because it is about drinking and driving, I think. Is it? Yeah. Might as well go for a soda. Nobody hurts and nobody cries because it is about drinking and driving I think. Is it? Yeah. Might as well go for a soda

and nobody hurts and nobody cries and nobody dies. Nobody drowns and nobody dies. Yeah. Oh, maybe it's about drunk boating.

It would be the perfect song for a boating PSA. It's better than slander. It's better than lies. Right. People getting drunk and making up. Oh, yeah. Making up stories.

Making up lies about how fast their boat can go. How good at water skiing they are. Soda. There are other music videos where the band is very tiny. There's one where a band plays on Pamela Anderson's book. Oh, that band is lit? Wow. And then there's another one where... Was it the Killjoys?

Is that where they're running around and maybe a cat is chasing them? They're running around an apartment and they're a tiny band. That's Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, this might have been from the soundtrack. But I do remember specifically it was a band, and they were running around with their instruments,

and I felt bad for the drummer because he had to, like, carry all his drums. Oh, it's the drummer. He's like, yeah. But they were tiny. What's worse, when a drummer in a video has to just play a drum? Or a snare. Like, just a single drum. Just the sticks. Yeah.

In rock and roll high school, the drummer from Ramones just had his sticks. It was just like doing, when they were walking from the car. Right from Ramones just had his sticks it was just like doing when they were walking from the car right it's just hitting the sticks and we're but music's playing

and you hear a full drum kit and you're supposed to we're supposed to believe that I think that every drummer should have to wear

like the one man band thing with the cymbals between the knees of the drums hanging off of them how about it Congress truth in music videos The cymbals between the knees. Yeah. The drums hanging off of them. How about it, Congress?

Truth in music videos. Yeah, I do not remember this Kim Mitchell video at all. Oh, really? No, I remember him. I remember the hat. He's incredible. This is pre-hat, I'm telling you. And I also remember Patio Lanterns was his. Patio Lanterns.

Sure. Insane, which is a very creepy song it's like uh who's gonna be who will be the first to dance right who's gonna be who would be the first to kiss but he doesn't say he doesn't sing it like it's reminiscing to when he like the summer parties they had as a kid. I guess. It seems like he's in the bushes just going like with binoculars. The biggest patio.

Our house had all the summer shade. We had patio lanterns. Those patio lanterns They were the stars Oh, wow Big turn Wow, good Kim Mitchell I am a wild party Like he had to pitch that one

I am a wild party He never had to pitch But wouldn't the band like We're a wild party What do you think they want to get out of That's the reason he got out of this band So he could be a solo artist He used to be in Max Webster

Really oh I didn't know this Wow Dave's got the deep Kim Mitchell thing I'm Kim Mitchell wiki Does anyone out of Canada know No Sorry everybody That's fine this is an educational podcast A lot of people will

be moving here soon apparently yeah so uh yeah so by is there a Kim Mitchell best of that they can buy or they gotta go album by album what's the album where Kim Mitchell has the baby tiger oh yeah uh chiller it's him with a baby tiger inside of a fridge. Inside of a... Yeah. Dave, what's been going on with you, man? Well, this is our first episode recording after the big election. Yeah, yeah. And I'm sorry. That's so sad.

Yeah. I mean, you knew... Like, you knew if he won, it was going to be sad and weird and scary. Yeah. But to actually, like, see people so sad and scared is it's hard to have imagined um yeah yeah i had a had a feeling that it was going to be very close but i didn't know i was very surprised by the outcome but as i i think i watched the coverage on PBS. And it's very... Yeah, exactly.

It was literally the first streaming site that came up. And they're very, like, four panelists. And they didn't have all the kind of, like, throwing to and charts. Like, it's just four of them talking. They had a whiteboard. Color this one in blue. But this was the whole time on election night. There was two very old guys on the panel, probably in their mid to late 70s.

And I think they left their microphones on. So there was one guy who was breathing through his nose and his nose was whistling the whole time. And I was like, is that me? And I was like, no no that's this thing and then there were certain points where somebody was talking and somebody else on the panel was audibly opening a crinkly candy oh boy this is the first thing they tell you not to do um so yeah it's pretty funny uh yeah so uh yeah so i'm uh you know uh we're here for you yeah we're the yeah i don't know like i'm at a loss for words it's so bad yeah you're all you're all in a lot of trouble like but you know uh there's there's a good there's a good half of you there. No, there isn't.

Like, half the voters for him, you're fucked too. You just hope that this brings out all of the everything out in the open and stuff can get dealt with in a way. Like, it's going to be really bad for

a lot of people, but you just hope that kind of, like, it's been there but just kind of hidden and now i don't know maybe there needs to be a crazy clash where everyone like acknowledges really what's going on underneath everything and i don't know maybe that's the only way out so paul advocating for a race war no no no uh yeah so that was Insane and of course Our thoughts are with All of our listeners down there In the states

And if anyone needs any help let us know Look a lot of people have said Hey can we move to Canada Sure if you want Yeah I mean we don't have room for all of you Personally And you know we're also not in charge of that. Yeah.

That's not right. But, you know, if any of you are in serious, real trouble, let us know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll figure something out. Yeah. We're scared for you, but we're hiding it behind our laugh about Kim Mitchell. So that's happened. Yeah.

And what else is shaking? Well, on the last episode with Katie Ellen Humphries, I talked about how I had never seen that movie, The Devil Wears Prada. Oh, yes. Well, I have an announcement. Oh, wow. Past mistake corrected. Yeah. Now, The Devil We devil wears prada have you seen it i haven't

i won't why it's fun really there's fun it's fun is it not fun i i only i saw it like years ago because i when it first came out i was like yeah this isn't for me and then the last year or so i i was like why isn't this for me i love anna hathaway yeah i love meryl streep i love adrian grenier yeah and simon baker who's the other guy bald guy uh oh stanley to jay i do love stanley too well what's not to love yeah it's it's he can do big budget no no i love him yeah but i just mean in like in terms of a movie i should love yeah and i think at the time it you know she got nominated for a golden globe or something yeah yeah yeah that sounds about right um but it, uh, it's, it's not quite the thing I love. What, what is the, the thing you love is?

Moneyball. Moneyball. Yeah. So it's not Moneyball. Here are the movies, like if it, cause it's been on TV a lot lately, so I just decided to record it one day. And the movies that come on TV that I love that are on all the time are Moneyball. Moneyball is not on that often.

Right. Uh, Back to the Future. Yeah. Um, those not on that often. Right. Back to the Future. Yeah. Those are the big two. Yeah. No, but I like, you know, like a That Thing You Do. Sure. I like light comedies. You love Trading Day. You love... Training Day?

No, the one with Kevin Costner Trade Day. Oh, Draft Day. Draft Day, thank you. Come on. Whatever, I've never seen it. It's my Devil Wears Prada. It's okay. Maybe I'll watch it and see.

It's pretty good. He wins in the end. Is Anne Hathaway in it? No, Jennifer Garner is. But yeah, no, it doesn't quite scratch the itch. It's not going to be something that if I see it on TV, I'm, no, it's, it's, it was just, it doesn't quite scratch the itch. It's not going to be something that if I see it on TV, I'm going to watch it. No. Yeah.

Although I think that is how I saw it. I think it was on TV one time. It was just starting and I was like, I'm locking in. I'm going to watch Devil Wears Prada. It was fine. It was like, uh, you know, girl gets a job. And it's, you know. Girl, but she gets a job that's apparently a very hard job to get that she didn't want in the first place. Yeah, and she's very, very frumpy.

And she's above it. Yeah. She's a real journalist. And then, you know, she goes to work at a fashion magazine. And then she, you know, then she changes to suit the thing. And did she leave behind her old self? And, oh, boy, the question. Yeah.

But ultimately, who cares? And then, yeah, in the end. Sounds like it. Yeah, I mean, it was very, like, you know, stakes were low for her because, you know, she was fine. Yeah. And she was fine. She's fine. Yeah And she was fine

She's fine The other thing I started watching Is on Netflix The show The Crown Oh yeah About young Queen Elizabeth II

Yeah The lady on her money Yeah The lady from Are you just learning that now? Oh yeah Have you heard of this show? No I've heard about it.

I don't know anything about it. I know as much as you told me. Is it a fictionalized account? No, I think it's real. And that's what makes it like good TV to watch when you're sort of half awake. Right. I can fall asleep. I already know all this.

Yeah, you have like kind of no stakes. Yeah, I know some of these people are going to die. But I know she's not not when does it take place like is it when the queen was young and sexy kind of thing when she's young there's a lot of sex in it yeah there's a lot of sex there's dragons in it uh there's the red wedding yeah the white walkers the walking dead are in it oh yeah what cubert uh cubert's in it yeah it's pixels yeah it's the queen it's pixels it's everything really it's click it's kevin james is in it as an assassin apparently it's all just adam sandler's friends in it um no yeah it's it's like the late 40s early 50s when she becomes the queen and the first three episodes.

Starts the first mall chop. Yeah, sure. Pop Tate and the queen. The 50s? Yeah. She invents rock and roll. Hey, Your Highness, do you know that new sound you're looking for? She invents skiffle Oh boy

The first three episodes It's Like her dad dies And so that's how she becomes the queen Right And you know all that happens And then there's In the fourth episode

She's the queen during this Like smog Outbreak in London Okay And I was like oh i haven't heard about this and it's like the super dangerous chemicals that are in the air and uh you know a few people die or it's so it seems like the the emergency rooms are just overflowing with people and you're like wow a couple hundred people must have died from this. 12,000 people died. My headphones nearly fell off.

12,000 people. Holy cow. But even during the episode, you can't tell that it's that serious. Right. It's only like text comes up at the end. And is it like, that must be something that over there must be a thing that everybody knows. I guess so. The day that the smog came to town.

Yeah. Well, I assume it was made there. It didn't just drift in from somewhere else. Scottish fog. That's what smog is short for? Yeah. Scog. Scog.

But is it worth watching this, uh the queen yeah you know yeah whatever it's apparently like one of the most expensive things netflix has done yeah wait till altered carbon what's that that's the big they're sending they're spending like 13 million dollars per episode or it was 11 million something like that per episode it's a new netflix show what's all true what is it it's uh it's about um What's all true. What is it? It's, uh, it's about, um, it's just starting to shoot in the next couple of weeks.

And it's about like, I don't know. It's kind of time travel. People can replace their bot. They can upload their consciousness into other bodies. Ah, cool. Who would you upload?

What body would you upload your consciousness into? Bob Marley. Bob Marley. Skrillex. See, the problem with that is Bob Marley. Bob Marley. Skrillex. See, the problem with that is Bob Marley's dead. Kim Mitchell, for sure. What? For sure.

What's the name of the show? Altered Carbon. But whoever runs Netflix or whatever. They're not spending enough money on the title. Yeah. He said that he was sick of, what what's the big show with uh like like with dragons and stuff game of thrones he was tired of like that being like the biggest show in the world and that they want they want to have the biggest netflix but there there is already that it's

called kevin can wait yeah biggest show um why do people want to have the biggest thing it seems like you're just setting yourself up for disaster i mean from where they came from like mailing and dvds to where they are yeah that's true what's the next thing yeah you want to have lily hammer do you think that there's still executives around from the dv DVD mailing days that are still because they wouldn't have any background in like running a studio like their whole thing would be like well DVDs

weigh this much so if you this is how much postage we're going to have to prepay so they have like a big board meeting about Altered Carbon and they just have the one guy who's still on their DVD service.

Like, I mean, if we put this series on DVD, I'm sure we can chip it out. No problem. Yeah. I got to where I am in the company because people used to draw dicks on the envelopes and I was like, no way. Replace the envelopeses We'll cover the cost

That used to be a thing I think In Netflix it was like in some online Communities let's see if we all get the same Copy of You know whatever Days of Thunder so we'll all Write a secret message on the envelope Oh okay

Huh but then they Went with disposable envelopes we'll write a secret message on the envelope. Oh, okay. Huh. But then they went with disposable envelopes? Was that their big... That was the last time that guy had an innovation? No, there was no innovation. They just kept the... You would get an envelope, and it would have something written on it.

Oh. And you'd be like, what does this mean? But if you knew, you knew. Oh, yeah. It's fun to be in on some kind of underground something or other. Do you remember disposable DVDs? No It didn't really last

But it was I don't know if it was the Netflix people It was rental people You would mail it into the ocean They were trying to make it easy So you didn't have to bring back the DVD So once you open it from a seal Like the air starts corroding it

And you only have, I don't know Seven days or whatever before it's unplayable right and then so you just throw it out it didn't really catch on thing for a while it's like one of those things that you're like well that never could have caught on but you know what those nespresso things caught on and i was like well then anything can catch on i think it would have if the internet like didn't evolve to the thing where you could just do it all. But just in terms of waste. I know, it's horrible.

But it's kind of genius. If you can download a coffee, then Nespresso's out of business. Oh, yeah. And believe me, they're working on it. Yeah, you're right. That would have been just like the curve like the internet but does netflix still send out dvds is that i don't know if that's still something they can do i wonder huh it's funny like uh in the states they have amazon prime we have it here but it's not the

same and you can get you pay like 75 a year and you get free shipping On everything from Amazon Plus you get a bunch of Free streaming movies And original TV shows Right Didn't know you had a new sponsor We don't We don't Because we live in Canada

Where you don't get any of that Yeah you don't get any of the good stuff If you want to watch Oh you don't You don't get that If you want to watch Any of Amazon's programming here You have to

Get it illegally Or from some weird Yeah like some other Either show me Or crave Or whatever You have to get it illegally or from some weird. Yeah, like some other. Either show me or crave or whatever. You have to go to this thing. They send you a disposable thing. You got to have a special player. You got to use gloves.

Because that starts corroding all over your hands. It starts just spraying battery acid everywhere. So that's me. I've been watching uh television yeah yeah yeah i've also been watching television i uh because i needed a show uh that needed like that i could put on in the background while i'm working on other things so nothing that was so visual that i would have to keep going like what was that what was that what was that something where it's and something where i'm not very invested yeah that's why the crown's good because you know who dies yeah that's true but i didn't know all those smog people died i know that was a big curveball well not anymore but uh uh yeah so i started watching i just literally

looked through the tv show section and found a show from Australia called Dance Academy can't stop watching it's only three seasons long though so I have a feeling that some of these storylines are not going to get resolved properly because it might have just got cancelled mid run well maybe

we only have three seasons of it do you know how many seasons they made total well it's old enough that they're using flip phones in the show so i don't think there's more seasons and on dance academy do they pirouette the opposite direction yes okay good very good question i'm glad you asked now do you find it hard to get work done watching an australian show when you always have to look at the subtitles. They have very, in this show, they have very posh Australian accents, which are pretty close to an English accent.

So it's not quite as... Are there any, like, Hemsworths in it? Yeah, they're all in it. There's the Hemsworth, Yahoo! Serious is in it. Paul Hogan plays the young girl who goes uh to the dance academy do you think yahoo serious and kim mitchell would be buddies what don't they seem like it we were young einstein i don't mean to bring back kim mitchell no you do mean to it and you know what that's fine we were talking about yahoo serious a few

weeks ago in reference to peeee Wee Herman. Ah. Because he was a guy from sort of the same era. Right. Just like. Right. Started in a couple movies as himself, kind of. Yeah. And then went away.

And Pauly Shore was kind of like that. He was like. Right. A real guy. His name was actually Pauly Shore. But he played. Well, we don't know. I don't know.

He could be Paul Shore. Oh, yeah. You're right. could be Paul Shore. Oh, yeah, you're right. Paul S. Shore. But he played Pauly Shore in all those movies. It was Pauly Shore as Pauly Shore. Stop. Yeah.

He would have a different name in the movie, but he'd be wheezing the juice. All these things. He would always find some juice, and then he would wheeze it. Judge Ito eating a burrito. I mean, this guy was great. This guy had a unique voice and

his mom owned the most powerful comedy club in America. And that had nothing to do with his success. No, no, no. He went out there on the road and he very much was given a career. Well, no, no. He went out there on the road and he didn't. He very much was given a career. Well, I don't know

if that's true. I think so. MTV was what made him. Was he the MTV guy? Yeah. He was perfect for that. Yeah, if my mother was the king

of the comedy store, I wouldn't necessarily have the same career. Queen of the comedy store. That's what that what the American version of The Crown will be about her. Her time running the comedy store. I think there is actually a TV show. Maybe Jim Carrey is producing it?

Oh, yeah. Or wasn't that a while ago? No, no. I don't think it's come out yet. It's like about that era at the comedy store. Oh, yeah. And they're like, are there real names of real comedians in it? Yeah.

Or are people kind of playing like, I'm a hybrid of Sam Kinison. And Jay Leno. Well, what would that sound like? A little something. But yeah, the. So what goes on on dance it's a young girl from the country uh-huh she wants to dance so she goes to sydney biggest city in all of australia uh the opera house a bridge is featured pretty prominently uh those cable cars the rights of roni yeah yeah yeah um uh a miniature eiffel tower uh these are things that could exist in sydney possibly yeah uh she goes to

the dance academy guys it's not what she thought it was gonna be what but that's not a bad thing no she narrates the show so at the end of every episode, there's kind of like, you know, like Doogie Howser style. There's just kind of like a moral, like, you know. But I learned that if you try, you're fine and that's okay. Or the other Sex and the City is the other one. Sure. Yeah. And speaking of flip phones.

Yeah. Yeah. And it was weird. I didn't know what era this show took place in until I saw Flip Phone. And then I was like, huh. It's weird, because otherwise it was just like it could have been. But I guess I don't expect a show to have a lot of people looking at their phones all the time. That's left out of a lot of dramatic production.

Anyways, you know, she loves, she learns. Is she a good dancer? Yeah, yeah she's fine the teacher says she's got like a lot of promise right she's got no polish she's too raw yeah she's going to dance from all those weird spiders now i'll tell you what there was an episode i was like surely before this episode came on i was like there's going to be an episode that deals with this. What do you think is an inevitable episode of a show that takes place in a posh dance academy? Does she meet somebody? Posh.

No. Spice. No. She meets somebody from the streets. Oh. He shows her. Very smart. Someone from the streets. Very smart. smart someone from the streets very yeah and he

shows her his style of street dance right and she incorporates it into her oh right yeah is this uh do they have street people in australia i thought it was just the people from the billabong um i don't yeah you know they have toughss They have syphus Yeah they got syphus They've got Didgeridoo Yeah they got Oh That's a thing

A lot of people In the show Wearing Uggs Cause I guess That's where it Came from But just incidentally Not

You know Product placement Yeah yeah But anyway So yeah She meets a guy Young youth From the streets

Who teaches her A young youth Yeah yeah yeah, yeah. These aren't senior citizens in the show. These are young youths in Australia. And you know what? I can't. I'm dreading running out of Sydney.

We open on young youth walking down the street. Yeah. Wearing Uggs. Didgeridoo rolled up under his armpit. Rolled up? He goes to the beach. Unrolls his didgeridoo. Unrolls his yoga mat. There's gotta be something that turns into a didgeridoo.

We just don't see it because we don't need a didgeridoo for our purposes. But in Australia, you gotta have a didgeridoo. Yeah, yeah. But I think any paper towel tube that you put up to your mouth and go, that's a didgeridoo, right? A straw looking like a didgeridoo,

to actually use as a straw, but it looks like a didgeridoo, that would be a tourist item. Oh, that would be a good souvenir. Oh, like a little skinny little didgeridoo. Yeah, that would be nice. I'd buy that. Sure, well well You know what There's still time

That's the great thing That's the great thing About now You guys And that would be like The last sentence Of an episode Of Dance Cat

That's the great thing About Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Chik chik chik

Caw caw A ooga Oog I'm failing on rules Serve sup Knife Knife Jump jump Oh is that an alligator An alligator please Alligator dundee

Alligator dundee Oh boy I'm a young Einstein I hate her, Dundee. Yeah. I hate her, Dundee. Oh, boy. I'm a young Einstein. Oh, do you guys want to move on to Overheard? Okay. Hello, Internet. I'm your husband host, Travis McElroy. And I'm your wife host, Teresa McElroy.

And together we present Schmanners. It's extraordinary etiquette. For ordinary occasions. We explain the historical significance of everyday etiquette topics then answer your questions relating to modern life. So join us weekly on MaximumFun.org or wherever podcasts are found. No RSVP required. Check out Schmanners. Schmanners. Schmanners. Get it? schmanners. Schmanners, schmanners. Get it? Creativity, comedy, and new friends are waiting for you at MaxFunCon 2017.

MaxFunCon West returns to Lake Arrowhead in June, and MaxFunCon East is back in the Poconos in September. Don't miss a stellar lineup of hilarious comedians, live podcast recordings of your favorite MaxFun shows, and an embarrassment of amazing classes to choose from.

Tickets for MaxFunCon East and West go on sale Friday, November 25th. Don't miss your chance to be part of an unforgettable weekend. Visit MaxFunCon.com to buy your tickets on November 25th. Overheard. Overheard. Now, Graham.

Yes, sir. In the break, we just watched the video for Might As Well Go First. Sure. We sure did. Here's what we got wrong. They don't play Giant Turkey Leg as guitar. They were in the TV a lot longer than we expected. Yeah.

And then they were in the fridge. And there was a crowd of people in the egg, like, butter area. And then there's also Kim Mitchell. He's tiny size, full size, ghost ball. Ghost ball, and then turns into a can of soda. Yeah. And then the kid drinks the can of soda that was previously Kim Mitchell. And friends.

And the message is, don't drunk boat. Yep. We got that right. Yeah. In memory of some water scare. Yeah. Now, overheards, segment where we hear things out there in the world, and we share them here on the podcast.

We always like to start with the guest. My overheard is a boat. So how is that? is that yes what well it's it's a yacht uh let me back up yes please uh on the seawall cole harbor that marina cole harbor marina there's a uh yacht with the name uh fish and chicks uh-huh yeah and there was a american uh young tourist family that were walking on the seawall and the the man saw it laughed and said that's what i'd named my yacht and then it's too late it's already named yeah and then the mom says to the like old 10, 11 year old, I know what you'd call your, I know what you'd call your boat. He's like, what? He's like, cheese pizza.

That's pretty good. That's what an 11 year old loves. Love a yacht named cheese pizza. That's a good yacht for an 11 year old. I know what you'd name yours. Let's say it together. On three. I couldn't wait.

Cheese Pizza. What would you name your yacht? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Guys? Naughty Yachty. That's for you? Yeah.

Mine would be Fish and Tits. Yeah would be, uh, fish and tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I take mine back. Mine is also fish and tits too. Sure. Uh, the minnow. Yeah. Uh, Titanic 3.

Titanic 2? Where's the Titanic 2 at? It sunk too. Oh, yeah. It sunk trying to go down and rescue the first one Was that James Cameron? Yeah He was the boat pilot

Who's the most famous living boat person? Oh Richard Branson He seems to be on a boat a lot of times Little Yachty Rapper Little Yachty. Rapper Little Yachty. He's Mr. Worldwide.

Sometimes he travels by boat. James Cameron or is he Mr. Submarine? Well, Mr. Submarine is Mr. Submarine. The sandwich store. That's what I would name my boat. Mr. Sub. Yeah, I don't know. The Quiznos Express.

Well, probably one of the guys on one of those, like, the deadliest cat shows. Probably. Or one of those ice road truckers. Yeah, that got lost, forgot what their job is. Do we catch crabs? Dave, do you have an overheard? Let me tell you, a lot of truckers catch crabs. Mine is, it's been a very rainy few weeks here in Vancouver.

I think in October we had rained 28 days and uh so far in november rain almost every day yeah yeah i think like 100 of days um and then there was one day when it was actually sunny in the morning and uh abby and i were our um our midwife is in a rough neighborhood but she's tough she's a tough man oh yeah yeah yeah take care of herself midwife is in a rough neighborhood, but she's tough. She's a tough midwife. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

She can take care of herself. It's not really a rough neighborhood, just sort of a sad neighborhood. Right. And, uh, just this very Canadian interaction, just,

uh, this, you know, guy down on his luck, riding a bike, past a woman he knows who's down on her luck, just sitting against the building. Without a bike,

so that was down a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah and he stops his bike and just says fuck it's nice out eh that's somebody you know appreciates the little things exactly you gotta take a second yeah yeah blue gray skies blue skies are gonna up. Put on a creepy face. Put on a creepy mask. It's the purge. That's the end credit song. Blue skies are going to cloud up. Put on a creepy mask. The purge comes just once a year.

So get out there and do that task not bad sure um sure look i didn't have a lot of time to write it and it's to the tune of huey lewis and the news i i need a new drug oh really you you didn't get it right at all What was the song? Ghostbusters? Was it the new drug? Yeah Oh but I didn't get the tune right Yeah yours was to put on a happy bit I know I fucked up I want a new purge

With a wound that won't make me kill With a wake that makes me Be a master And while I do that task yeah yeah what a new person my overheard is actually

it's an overseas okay I was in a Vancouver kind of like long standing restaurant called Nick's Spaghetti House.

Oh, you know, Spaghetti Mouse is named after Nick's Spaghetti House. What? What is Spaghetti Mouse? It's a racehorse. Charlie Demers taught us that like three years ago. I do not remember this fact. I've never been to Nick's Spaghetti House. Is it good?

Yeah. And it's very like with the the gingham uh i hardly know them and like kind of the leather uh booths and it's it's very of a very particular era back when the queen invented rock and roll yeah there's pictures of her doing that crazy walk the duck walk yeah it's just spaghetti like dry spaghetti yeah um and uh there was a bit of graffiti in the bathroom right above the urinal that just said uh steve pearson dyes his hair oh no i know yeah oh man it was supposed to be just between you and you and me die salesman would either of you dye your hair?

Oh, I mean, you've been a punk your whole life. Yeah. So you've had dyed all sorts of crazy colors. Yeah. But would you dye to trick people? Like to cover gray or something? I don't know. And you're a working actor.

Yeah. So you have to trick casting directors every day. Yeah. I've been dyed before where they were like, you are going to dye your hair. Right. But yeah, I don't know. Do you do it yourself? Or if you just go to a hairdresser?

They do it. Does it look realistic? Or is it realistic for the camera? It's like when you walk into a store store later everyone looks at you like you're not fooling anyone that looks like shoe polish this works on camera trust me and this isn't real blood it's camera blood yeah i'm just here to buy some raisinets um uh yeah no i've never i've never dyed my hair Because it's very fair So it wouldn't

The transition from dyed If I let it grow would be very gross Oh, right, right, right I bleached it when I was a late teen When you went through your slim shady face Well, I never had it that short And then I would spike it out And then i threw out

very frosted tipping which was uh it didn't hurt me at all yeah yeah yeah that was uh that was like b44 was around exactly yeah otown was just on the horizon i last week on the show we mentioned otown yeah and they had that song, Liquid Dreams. Yeah. I looked up their album. Do you remember O-Town? They're a boy band formed by Lou Pearlman. On a TV. Rhea Pearlman's son? Rhea Pearlman's son.

Yep. Yep. The very same. On the TV show something. It was a reality show. Yeah. Making the band or something. Yeah.

Okay. Crazy. And it was, their big hit was called Liquid Dreams, which was about a reality show. Making the band or something. Crazy. And it was their big hit was called Liquid Dreams, which was about wet dreams. Wow. Or nocturnal emissions. That's, you know, that's what I learned from Degrassi. We can't call it wet dreams. How about liquid

dreams? Yeah, well, the current working title is Moist Dreams. Moist memories. And. Moist Memories. And I looked up their album, and that's the number, like the first song on the album. The second song on the album is called Every Six Seconds, which is about how often he thinks about sex. Oh, wow. Wow.

Third track, splooge, splooge fest. The O is definitely Orgasm Town. Well, they were from Orlando. Okay. Home of the big O. Home of the big O. Home of the big O. Yeah, and yeah, on tour, they would all come.

They sure would. I mean, I don't even have to finish it. They already have. Now, we also have overheard sent into us from people all over the place. If you want to send one into us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from Darren from right here in Vancouver. Hi, Darren.

I was on a plane recently, and the guy sitting behind me had just returned to his seat and said to his wife, going pee was the best idea I ever had. You should patent it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels so good. That's my liquid dreams. Just peeing. Oh, I used to get those dreams,

and they came true every time. Yeah, don't let anybody tell you the dreams don't come true. A lot of times if you dream, you're peeing. Because if you ever have a dream, you're peeing. You're probably peeing. Probably peeing. This next one comes from Ted in Australia. Oh, Dance Academy.

You bet. This is overseen in an elevator. Overseen at a dance academy. Yeah, a girl twirling. But kind of street style. Like maybe she learned something from the streets. Overseen in the elevator in a friend's apartment. Like notice with the phone numbers that you can tear off.

Wanting to rent a car space. Also available for babysitting. So sure. Yeah. Don't put up two posters. Get that message across all in one. And maybe tradesies. Yeah.

Oh, there you go. Let me use your car space. Yeah. I wish there was a word. Let me sit in my car. Is there a word that, oh, I wish there was a term for where you put your car. Where you park your car. Yeah.

It seems like that's maybe what the British people call it. Car space? A car space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Australians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do British people call a car? They call a parking lot a car park.

Right. A car park. And then you car park on a driveway. This last one comes from Patrick K. in Chicago, Illinois. We'll be in Chicago, Illinois in February as part of the very, very fun thing. Yeah. Good plug, Dave. How do you get tickets, Dave?

Internet. Okay. Google very, very fun. Then our names. And then your social security number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then upload a picture of my embryonic. Upload one.

From an old teen meat magazine. From your memory card. I was at a Renaissance festival. Uh-huh. Where there was jousting and old-timey clothing and Shakespearean English. All the other hallmarks of a Renaissance festival where there was jousting and old timey clothing and Shakespeare in English. All the other hallmarks of a Renaissance festival to my dying day. I will not forget the experience of overhearing a teenage boy ask his friend. The Renaissance was in the 1920s, right?

Yeah. The Great Gatsby. The Great Gatsby, flappers, you know. Jousting. Michelangelo. Both painter and turtle. Oh, man, I'd love to see 20s Ninja Turtles. If anybody out there on the internet is bored, 1920s Ninja Turtles.

Yeah, do it up. Do it up. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, please dial this number. 1-844-SPY-POD1. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1.

Like these people have. 14,000 times a day. Woo. 14,000 times a day. 14,000 times a day. Oh, getting harder all the time. Yeah, why would you want to? Let it out. It's been five. Every six seconds my body starts playing.

Your sweet thing is wrecking me. Now just the ladies. 10 times a minute. 600 times an hour. Alright, phone call song. Wow. It really just comes down to the math of the song. 14,000 times a day.

10 times a minute. That's actual math rock yeah exactly here uh this is a question that was not o-town related but ninja no i won't accept it why uh this is good do you think the ninja turtles would be into flatbread that you get it like a tapas well because they like pizza yeah they like pizza but they've never specifically said that they like that form. Anyways, phone calls? They said exactly they like that form. Oh, yeah, I guess. A lot.

They love pizza, but, you know, flatbread? Mm-hmm. Not pizza. It's a bit smaller. A bit more irregular shape. Did they have a weapon that shot pizzas out? In the cartoon show, yes. Oh, but not in real life?

Well, not in the movies. I don't think they had a pizza cannon. That'd be silly. It's such a waste of resources. Yeah. And you have to... Are they fresh pizzas? No, they're these pizzas that as soon as you open them,

they start degrading. Yeah, don't worry, Gloves. Overheard phone calls. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Fox Holiday calling in with an overheard. I was having a Sorkin-esque walk and talk with my boss when his cell phone rang. He stopped, he answered it and said, yep, yep, yep. Now you lost me there when you started talking about the prostate thing.

I saw on TV and read an article that you don't need to have your prostate checked. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, you seem pretty confident for somebody who doesn't have one, ma'am. Oh, I have heard that you just get a blood test now. Yeah, there is now. Oh, I thought they could just put a, like a rubber glove up

and inflate it in there. Or is it like when you go to the airport and they're doing the pat down, they're like, do you want to go on the machine or would you like the old school? Yeah.

I would go. I always, at the airport, go old school. Never had the prostate exam, but, you know what? I want,

I want the full, whatever's the full deal. Whatever I'm allowed. Yeah want i want the full whatever is the full deal whatever i'm allowed yeah i want the top treatment so give me both give me the blood test and supersize it i'm ordering off menu so i yeah i haven't had the prostate exam. I've had them just look for stuff up there. Yeah, yeah. Treasure this here. Anything in particular? Well, sometimes I'll call the doctor and say, hey, have you seen my keys? Yeah.

Do you know where in the world Carmen Sandiego is? Well, there's one place we haven't seen. Yeah, well, I found the loot and the warrant. Paul, your thoughts. You ever had the exam uh yeah I had it once for I thought for a roll yeah for a roll I need my hair dyed and I still have to check my prostate pretty good pretty good pretty good um no yeah I've heard that now it's really just like a vanity project. Yeah, like you're going in and just, yeah, you don't have to get it done, but there's still people that will do it. Yeah, I'm paying for the detailing here. Here's your next phone call.

Every six seconds, my wiener. Hello, this is Dominic from Denver. Every six seconds, my wiener. Hello, this is Dominic from Denver. I work at a high school, and I was traversing the hallway when I overheard a male staff member saying to a male high school student, you need to stop going to the restroom to touch yourself. And then the high school student replied, well then what the hell else am I supposed to do all day? Thank you.

That's a real O-Town conundrum. And also, you know what? If you're gonna do that, probably go do it in the bathroom. Don't encourage a kid not to use the bathroom for that activity. Like, wait, why are you using the bathroom? We have a perfectly good gymnasium for you to touch yourself in. You know what I mean?

Plus, it gets you to focus on your studies. Otherwise, like from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., you're just chasing that dragon. You're just thinking about when you're going to get your next score. Chasing that dragon. Oh, boy. That was not something I ever did at school. No. But I did plenty in my own time.

Yeah, yeah. I don't think I would have felt. Extracurricular. Yeah, I wouldn't have felt safe to be doing that. Yeah. I have many friends in high school that would not maybe not brag but they talk about how they do it at work all the time uh-huh because how they felt like they were getting paid for it like somehow it was a fuck you to the boss yeah which it kind of is i guess yeah but in those type of

establishments guess what the boss is doing yeah same thing yeah he's like this is a real fuck you to my employees what kind of places were these people working one was an electrician oh jesus in a porta potty i don't think i could ever oh i thought it was like he's up in the he's up in the the crawl space or whatever wiring something that's oh Yeah, porta potty. That's like something out of Jackass. Can Steve-O go and rub one out of his nose and try to...

Alright, here's your final overheard. Hi guys. I'm calling in overheard. I'm at a little kid's birthday party with my son. And a little three-year-old boy just walked up to me and said, I'm not allowed to have Coke because I ran in a circle

and then threw up. That's like my friend. Yeah, like your friend, old Coke bottle Jones. Oh, man. Yeah, I remember when I was a kid, we would always run around in a circle around the coffee table and one Christmas, I was a kid We would always Like run around In a circle Around the coffee table

And one Christmas I was chasing my cousin Around the coffee table And she fell face first Into the fireplace And broke her tooth No I definitely Yeah

Yeah I The armrest of a couch I once Hit my face on And my teeth Went through my lip Oh Like yeah I still have a little scar there Eesh armrest of a couch I once hit my face on and my teeth went through my lip.

Oh! I still have a little scar there. Childhood injury. Yes, that's exactly what it was. I'm sure that's when I last told the story. Wow. Yeah, did that stop you from goofing around or did you not? I didn't learn my lesson at all. I would still chase

my brothers around the coffee table. Oh, and I did it by myself. Somebody gave you coke and you ran around in a circle. I had McDonald's in my hand. I was running to go eat it. I was cold by the time I stopped bleeding. Oh, man. That's the hardest pill to swallow as a kid. Delayed gratification.

Well, that's the whole entirety of the show what? yeah what would you like to plug there Paul? well I guess talent time

yeah Paul Anthony's talent time if you're in town it's the first Thursday of every month at the Rio Theater that's in Vancouver

if that's the town you're in if that's the town that you're in if you're in O-Town, then it's every six seconds. Oh, boy. But we got a YouTube channel

because we shoot the live show and we edit it into like 30-minute television programs that airs on public access here. So that's, you know, YouTube.com. No, no. Go to talenttime.biz.

There you go. There's biz business like show business. That's true. And you did a little thing with your hand. Yeah. Yeah. That's where all the episodes are nicely arranged and clips and stuff like that. Cool. I just started an Instagram a couple of months ago and it's, uh,

at talent time TV and Twitter's at talent time. That's everything. That's it. Yeah. Um, go out there on the internet and really have a day. Lots of stuff. Dave,

we're doing that thing in Chicago. I want to just give a shout out to The Purge. Oh, sure. Our new single theme from The Purge. Here's my top three tips for The Purge this year. You know what? Make your own mask. Don't buy a store-bought mask.

Make your own mask. It's fun. It brings the family together. It's folksy. It's not wasteful. You're not, you know. Yeah, you know. Turn an old pizza box into a mask. Glue with macaroni glued on. Whatever you want. You know, that's what's great about making your own math.

Number two, go with group. Don't go out there by yourself. You might get your lip through your tooth. Absolutely. Your cousin might fall over and her teeth get knocked out. That's why I didn't learn a lesson because my teeth are fine. And that's why to this day you race around coffee table when i see one i can't stop in every coffee shop thinking about it every six seconds running

around a coffee table that's your every six oh yeah all day long i dream of whatever um coffee table and uh number three don't drink. Go for a soda. Nice. We will be in Banff in March. March 4th. We will be in Chicago in February. February 11th. Tickets, we'll post a link in the episode recap if tickets are still available to both of those events and speaking of

the episode recap it's available at stoppodcastingyourself.com pictures and videos of the things we talked about on this episode I can't imagine

we'll have any Kim Mitchell oh man that video's gotta be in there everyone needs to check it out sure that video maybe O-Town

uh huh Purge Dance Academy Dance Academy absolutely oh yeah that's what, Purge. Dance Academy. Dance Academy, absolutely. The Crown. Oh, yeah, that's what I want to plug. Dance Academy. Okay.

Three seasons available on Netflix Canada. Ooh. I would like to plug The Crown. Yep. It stars John Lithgow as Winston Churchill. Perfect casting. And he might, I don't know if he'll die this season, but he'll die eventually. Yeah, that's true. And that'll probably uh, I don't know if he'll die this season, but he'll die eventually. Yeah,

that's true. And that'll probably, that'll be a sowed. Uh, is there, is there a time when they live together, like on friends and then they switch apartments? Yup.

They, uh, they lose a bat. The queen. Because, uh, because the queen didn't know, uh,

the, the name to Winston Churchill's TV guide. Yeah. Uh, Winston Churchill's TV guide. Yeah. Winston Churchill. If you like the show, please do tell your friends and come on back next week

for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.