Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 457 - Mark Chavez

Episode Date: December 19, 2016

Pajama Man Mark Chavez returns to talk jet flying, snow, and not flying. Also, our annual Secret Santa gift exchange.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 457 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who wishes you nothing but cheer and holidays. Mr. Dave Shumkis. Yeah.

And please put a penny in the old man's hat. And we've been over this before. If you haven't got a penny Hey penny That's fine Look A hey penny will suffice Yeah a hey penny is plenty If you haven't got a hey penny

I'm praying for you bitch What is this from? A Christmas is coming The goose is getting fat Please do put a penny In the old man's hat If you haven't got a penny A hey penny will do If you haven't got a penny, a hey penny will do.

If you haven't got a hey penny, then God bless you. Gorgeous around. Yeah, that's a lot of fun. So does somebody sneeze during that song? Huh? Does somebody sneeze during that song? Oh, God bless you? Yeah.

If you haven't got a hey penny, hold up a second. Gesundheit. And that voice you hear is the sound of our guest, three-time returning champ to the podcast, very funny comedian, one half of the comedy duo The Pajama Men, Mr. Mark Chavez. Hi, everyone. Hi, Mark. Good to be back.

Welcome. Welcome to Canada. Thank you. Yeah, welcome to the This Is Our Christmas episode. So let's all, everybody grab a hot mug of nog. Can you imagine? Grab my nog? We used to do a holiday episode, but now that Trump's in charge, we're not allowed to say holiday anymore.

Nothing to celebrate. Boy, is egg nog gross. It is gross. In theory and in practice. In theory? And in practice. But theory and in practice. But it's okay. Are there other types of nog?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spaghetti nog. Beef nog. Yeah, it's an Italian drink. What? Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Do you drink egg nog around this time of year? You do not? I drink it 365.

Oh, really? Start every day with an eggnog smoothie. August, you have some hot summer nog? What do you put in it? You put brandy in it? No, what do you put in eggnog? Rum. Oh, summer nogs.

From Greece. I could see Nog, much like a mini egg or whatever, that, remember, you only used to be able to get those around Easter. Cadbury eggs and mini eggs. Now those are year-round. But they'll still make them seasonal. They'll have Halloween eggs. They're finding a way to repackage all of them.

But, like, why doesn't Nog come out at Halloween? Sure. You know. Can it be, like, it's just nowhere? That's really funny. It really only comes out

kind of in a, it comes out of a chicken's butt. It's the weirdest thing. But also out of a cow's under? You have to shake a chicken up and give it a squeeze.

Really making me ill. What is it? It's like bad milk and an egg a squeeze. Really making me ill. What is it? It's like bad milk and an egg cracker? It's fine milk. It's bad milk? I think it's a rotten egg. I think it's cream. Have you ever had it made fresh or have you only ever had it out of a...

Yeah, I think my mom tried to make it one year and I think the consensus was store bought, store bought. Abby's dad makes it fresh, but he's whipping eggs for, it's tough because you have to, you cook the eggs a bit, but not so much that they solidify. Oh, okay. And you're whipping them. Like you hard boil them? No, no, no, no. Like you boil them or you just, you crack them and cook them?

You crack them. I think you're whipping as they're heated up in, maybe in the cream, or I don't know. But then- So you got to keep it in motion, always in motion. Oh, and you have to drink it so quickly. Because it solidifies everything. Oh, no, it becomes two different things. It becomes, it separates.

Oh, right. Oh. Okay. So do you, if you buy a store nog, that doesn't ever separate. There's got to be a problem. Does it? If you leave it out, maybe? Yeah, I'd give it a shake.

I like it. Abby bought a liter of it in November, and I was like, too soon, not happening. Yeah. She's like, I want to introduce the, Margo needs to learn about eggnog. Start them early. Yeah. When does a baby transition from formula to nog? Two years.

We get Similac eggnog. Yeah. Is it, it's, it's amongst the weird holiday foods that only come out at this time of year. It's like a, it foods that only come out at this time of year. It's like a, it's the reason for veganism. It's like, I could be vegetarian and then I found out about eggnog.

But like there's mulled wine. Isn't that, that's like the real thing. Oh yeah. I had some of that the other night. That is good stuff. So what is that that's hot wine and spices yeah so it sounds like it sounds terrible yeah it does wine sounds bad but yeah you put like a orange in there and some honey or something like a cinnamon stick sachet of cloves or something yeah i think you put santa's hand but then doesn't it doesn't boiling

an alcohol doesn't that boil off the best part of the alcohol? I think the key word is boil. Yeah. Oh, you're mulling it. Yeah. You just eat it. And then you just have it hot. Do people then also add like a shot of rum to it?

Maybe. Oh, maybe. Yeah, because I've had it before and I remember thinking it's just like, it's so spicy, not like hot spicy, but just like, ah, so many spices. I put some Frank's Red Hot in there. I like, I dip my mulled wine in blue cheese just to cool my mouth down. But I think any, like, I'm having a coffee at two in the afternoon right now as we're recording this, which is late for me. Yeah. But late for coffee. Yeah. Um, but, uh, any, when it's this cold out, anything warm in a mug is the best. Oh, it's so nice. Holding with both your hands. You can mull whatever you

want. Mull me a crystal light. Mull me an eggnog. Mulled nog. Oh, yeah. Why not? Well, that's what basically like an eggnog latte is a hot nog drink. And people drink that like it's not the most insane thing in the world. They are. Have you had any of those? No. Because Starbucks does.

They'll do a pumpkin. I've had. I tried a pumpkin spice latte last year. What did you think? Yeah. Again, it tried a pumpkin spice latte last year. What'd you think? Yeah, again, it's like, ah, too spicy. What do you think about pumpkin pie? Oh, I love it. The best.

I think that's a divisive. Are you anti? I love it. Yeah? Yeah, but I wouldn't, yeah. Do you think it's, oh, I guess it is kind of a divisive pie. Some people are kind of freaked out by it. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, there's no squash pie. There's no like other type. by it. Yeah. Yeah. Like, but there's no squash pie. There's no like other type. No, no gourd pie. Gourd pie. There's no other gourd pie. Although,

apparently most of what's in a can of pumpkin pie mix is just assorted gourds. Right. It's like stuff that, I mean, it's not like, you know, hot dog meat where it could just be different parts of animals.

It's all like, oh, this is the pumpkin neck in this. Yeah. Like, oh, don't buy the canned stuff. This is the bottom of the barrel of what pumpkin. That weird little thing on the bottom. Yeah, the other stem. There's no one at the, one at the pumpkin pie filling factory. They don't use the pumpkin for anything else.

They're not sending the best pumpkins, you know. Oh, yeah. I guess to space. But there's got to be cheaper, shittier gourds than a pumpkin, I assume. I don't know. But pumpkins seem to grow pretty rampantly. Why is pumpkin the only gourd that we eat, right? What are the other gourds?

Good question. Oh, there's the rumpkin and the plumpkin. Plumpkin you would think was good. The munchkin. They come out of Christmas. I think we do eat other gourds.

Aren't there like, isn't like a squash a gourd? If squash is a gourd, then that answers that question. Yeah, I think if squash is a gourd, there's that one that looks like a dick.

Peanut squash. No, dick squash. You want some dick squash? Dick squash pie. Dick squash pie. Just out of the oven. Is there anything like when you go eat with the family that it's like a weird thing that, uh, a family member makes every holiday. Well, we have like a weird holiday food.

It might be weird to people who aren't from New Mexico where green chili is put into literally anything that could be put in. So there's like casseroles that have, it's like broccoli cheese and a shitload of green chili. So you make it hot? Spicy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really spicy. It has a unique flavor and it's very, yeah, it's very hot. Would you do something to the turkey to make it hot?

You stuff it with green chili. Whoa, green chili. No, no, no. I haven't really seen that, but it wouldn't be out of the question. Is it, because you grew up in Albuquerque. And so Christmas does not there's no snow right so no there is so new mexico is uh it has all four uh seasons it's really it's called a high desert because it's very elevated so the summer's very hot we get monsoon season and then

in the winter it does snow uh not you know it's not guaranteed white christmas but it does snow and then there's something We do out there Called um Luminarias Or luminarias Which is uh Taking a paper bag And filling it with sand

And putting a candle in it And you do a ton of those And you decorate Like the parapet wall On the top of your roof And then your sidewalk And then all the neighbors Will do it as well

And it's just like This beautiful And it's only on Christmas Eve And so And so every The whole city Just kind of lights up with these like fire hazards. That's a fun.

Yeah. Fire hazards as far as the eye can see. Yeah, like you'll go, and then they've been marketing fake ones. So you can go to like a Walgreens or, you know, like whatever, like a CVS and buy these like fake paper bags, which are plastic, and have a light bulb in them. Perfect. Yeah. They took away the one thing that was like biodegradable.

Yeah, yeah. We'll put it in a plastic bag, so you can't get rid of that ever. Yeah, I was looking at, there's a taco place near here, and their big Christmas display is like a skeleton guy. Please let me dead.

And then I looked online, and there's kind of a Day of the Dead crossover with Christmas maybe in Mexico. Oh, right. Did that carry over into New Mexico or no? No, I mean- There was no Skull Christmas? There's definitely a lot of Day of the Dead stuff in New Mexico, but it doesn't go to skull. The skull.

Too new. Yeah. Too new in that Mexico. Have you seen Spectre? What? The James Bond movie? No, no. There's a thing.

The Day of the Dead thing. Oh, yeah. That's cool. That's right. I watched those James Bond movies on airplanes and I get so lost and bored. Oh yeah That's cool That's right I watch those James Bond movies On airplanes And I I get so

Lost and bored Yeah the new ones Are real They're real Meander Or meandering Kind of like Think

Think movies And like I don't I can't keep up With the villains And everybody Looks the same Everybody kind of

Looks like James Bond Yeah I saw the First one With him in it the new guy well he's not new anymore he's like status quo james bond yeah what's his name george lazenby yeah and i liked it but then i don't maybe i saw was the next one the one that had uh quantum of solace was the next one i think yeah first one was The first one was Casino Royale. Casino Royale. Quantum of Solace. Skyfall?

Skyfall and Spectre. Spectre. Which one had Javier Bardem? I think Skyfall. Maybe that's the one I saw on the plane. Was he super erotic in it? Was he like an erotic villain? They've all blended together.

I can't even remember. I think I've seen all of them, and I don't... Who was the bad guy in the new one? Christoph Waltz? Oh, yeah. Maybe. I haven't seen it. Inspector Gadget, actually. Oh, really? Weird. Weird choice. Yeah, very weird choice.

I'd be on board if they brought it in a crossover. Oh, yeah. Like a crossover of another spy like Johnny English? Who are the best non-James Bond spies? Oh, God, that's a good one. Tinker Tailor soldier spy.

Yeah. Is Jason Bourne a spy? Sure. He was an op. He's not a spy, though. What's that Tom Hanks movie that came out where he did all that kind of... Oh, Bridge of Spies? Yeah, Bridge of Spies.

Oh, Bridge of Spies. He was an of Spies. Oh, Bridge of Spies. He was unaccounted or something. Why would all the spies be on one bridge? Well, they got to hang out somewhere. Yeah, right. And they can't hang out at a bar. That's too obvious. So they hang out on a bridge.

Did you see that movie? Yeah. It was a real dad movie. Yeah. As a dad, I was like, that's how I'm spending my Sunday afternoon. My kid's napping. I'm paying iTunes to watch Bridge of Spies. Well, is it based on a true story?

No, it takes place in space. Space Bridge. Yeah, it's based on a true story. And he loses his coat, and it's very cold. Yeah. He's an unsung hero until this movie had come it's a movie about uh like how do communists have so much red tape it really is it's like it's like you could go stand in a long line at the dmv instead of watch this and you get the same feeling like It's like, oh, God, this takes forever. I was entertained.

Well made. I don't know that I watch a ton of spy movies now that I think of it. The Tuxedo? I love a good thriller. Spy movies would fall under the thriller moniker, right? Yeah. I love a thriller. But they're also like, I like a thriller where it's just like some person that's just like a regular person gets thrown into some thrill. Yeah.

But then when it's like a guy who's kind of. And the video thriller. Oh, yeah. But I like, yeah, when a guy like has all these skills, then it's less exciting for me. Because I'm like, well, he could just use his skills to get out of this situation. Yeah, and you know he's going to get out. Yeah. Like with Jason Bourne, I don't even understand.

I've only seen the first one, but I don't even understand what's the problem with this guy. Oh, boy. Let me tell you. I've seen them all, and I don't know why they keep going after him. tell you i've seen them all and i don't i don't know why they keep going after him like yeah he seems to be a pretty quiet guy as long as they don't go after him right he's like spider-man he's like he keeps people keep getting missed like people are misunderstanding him oh yeah yeah yeah that's a i always forget that that's kind of like a big part of the spider-man story it is it's like everyone's, we'll get him one day.

And he's always like, hey, well. It's been long enough that you think that people would realize that he's actually a good guy. Yeah, especially when other bad guys show up. Then they must be like, oh, no, we read this Spider-Man situation wrong. Yeah. Actually, that rhino that's destroying the bank. He's the guy. The rhino that looks like the guy from Sideways.

Oh, man. I watched that movie. Sideways? No. The Spider-Man. The Spider-Man with him in it. Paul Giamatti. Oh, Paul Giamatti.

Because Thomas Hayden Church was in a different Spider-Man. It was a different guy. Whoa, that's funny. And Sandra Oh was in another villain. Yeah, that Spider-Man 2, I'm surprised that didn't kill the- New Spider-Man 2? Yeah, new Spider-Man 2 with Jamie Foxx. Oh, God, that movie was terrible.

I watched that on a plane. If anyone from that movie is listening, I'm sorry. Here's the crazy- Have you seen it? No. He's an electric man. I haven't seen Here's the crazy... Have you seen it? No. He's Electric Man. I haven't seen any of the Garfield ones. Oh, okay.

They're both... Because I hate Mondays. The central conflict between Spider-Man and Electric Man. Which is his name. Electric Man. Can I just imagine what electric man looks like?

Ben Franklin? Yeah, yeah. With a kite. He's got a kite and a key on it. He, at the beginning of the movie,

Spider-Man meets pre, before he's electric man and he's like, you're my, you're my guy on the street. Thanks man.

Thanks for looking out or whatever. And then they meet later and Spider-Man remembers his name. And I'm like, well, then this guy has no reason to be mad at Spider-Man. And then I think there's a soundtrack by Skrillex that explains in his head. Miming, playing keyboards like a marionette. Get your mime right. Press elbows.

And anyways, and then he's mad at Spider-Man. But Spider-Man remembered his name. And he probably meets a lot of people in a day. So he gets slighted by Spider-Man? I don't care. Yeah, it is a really bad movie to get stuck on. There's a new person playing Spider-Man? I'm all, I don't care. Yeah. Yeah. It is a really big movie to get stuck. There are, there's a new person playing Spider-Man. I just saw a trailer.

So I don't know, guys, you like used to be able to, at least it was a generation. Yeah, I know. I'm trying to care more about spite. I could, I really, I don't care at all about about the spider yeah well he did you see the thing the whatever the not winter soldier civil war yeah so he was in that right spider-man right and he's like a kid spider-man and aunt may is played by sally field no um my cousin vinnie oh Marissa Tomei alright yeah

wow Marissa Aunt May yeah but sexy Aunt May oh okay like it's even Tony Stark

meets her and is like says it for the audience so that the audience is like whew we were all thinking it but Tony Stark said it

so it's okay what did he say to the audience like it's okay to be around this isn't your Aunt May's Aunt May is what he said What did he say to the audience? It's okay to be around. This isn't your Aunt May's Aunt May, is what he said. He winked at the camera. Anyways, yeah, you're right.

There's too many Spider-Men. That's actually the name of the new one. Too many Spider-Men. I don't really follow comic books, but you know how on the comic book there's like eight different Spider-Man comics you can get, too. Oh, like the amazing Spider-Man. Yeah. The spectacular Spider-Man. The okay Spider-Man.

Yeah. Nobody buys that. Spider-Man's holiday. Just him having snowball fights with Electric Man. Stop it, Spider-Man. Ow. I forgot your name. I'll zap you.

I'm going to zap you. But that's the thing. If he did forget the guy's name. You're really stuck on this, Graham. I stopped listening for like three seconds in the middle, and now it's like the plot has passed me by. But it seems to just be about Spider-Man remembered a guy's name, and the guy was like, you didn't remember my name in Spider-Man I was like yeah

I swear that's the plot of the movie yeah Lord so Mark oh yeah guys what's new

what's new I've been around the world a couple times since the last time I've been here yeah you went on like a crazy like crazy long tour two kind, you went on like a crazy long tour. I went on a really long tour with Shanoa, a fellow pajama man of the UK and Scandinavia.

That was a lot of fun, a lot of driving. We had kind of a surly driver slash stage manager, which kept things interesting. Oh, so you guys didn't have to do any of the driving? No, well, Shanoa did a couple of times. We had some really bad planning. At one point, we had to drive all night to get to London by 3 a.m. So we could catch a flight to Stockholm in like 9 a.m. So we could do a show that day in Stockholm.

It was awful. The shows were good, though. Yeah, and then that day in Stockholm. It was awful. Yeesh. The shows were good though. Yeah. And then I was in Australia. I did a long tour of New South Wales, which was really great. Got to ride in a jet aircraft, which was like a fighter jet. Oh, okay. Oh, cool.

Yeah. That was crazy. In Australia? Yeah. They have a military? No. It was a decommissioned. They do.

It was a decommissioned jet. It was like anommissioned jet. It was like an Italian jet. Ah. Ooh, Ferrari. Yeah, Ferrari jet. So how did you get to ride in a jet? There's a guy that is now a friend, but a long time ago would... He didn't remember his name.

He would watch our... Electric man. but a long time ago would, uh, I didn't remember his name. Electric man. He, uh, we, we'd watch our shows in Melbourne and then like he emailed us with a picture of his jet. And he was like, Hey guys,

would like to take you on my jet. And we were like, no, no, that's not how I want to die. I mean, it would be like a spectacular death. Could you both go at the same time? No, there's just a two-seater.

So only one of you can die at a time. Yeah, at a time, yeah. So the second one can be like, I opt out of this. Unless he flies into you on the ground. There you go. So he took some courting, and then he ended up kind of helping us with our pilot. Kind of. He gave us some money, which was really great. And his name is steven and he is a pilot and he is yeah

just anything pilot he says yes to the pilot light i'll fix that and he uh so he took yeah he took us in turn uh you know what the day before i did like he came back he was like it's amazing so uh yeah then he took me to the next day. It was kind of life changing. Like, cause we flew upside down and like, we did like, like loops pulled four G's, which is something I'd never experienced.

So what is that? I don't even know what that means. It means four times, four times the speed of gravity. Yeah. He did like, uh, different types of rolls and spins.

And I was like so scared. Like as the, I'm getting in the thing and like. Did you have to wear special pants? Yeah, I wore a G suit. Which like inflates around. It feels like it's taking your blood pressure. It inflates around your arms and legs and keeps all the blood in your core so you don't pass out. When you pull Gs.

So we, like the canopy lowers, like, you know, covers our heads. And I was like, oh, this is a really bad idea. What era, like, is it a 80s, 90s airplane?

I think it's an 80s plane. Where did he get it? He bought it, I don't know where he, like, I don't know. Does he have an aircraft carrier to take it, to, like, what?

Or is it, yeah, it's just sitting on the field? I don't think he went't i don't think he went yeah and he just stores it like in a in an airport but he flies it all over the place like he he uses it instead of a car that can't be he flies it so much fuel efficient yeah yeah and it's it's crazy and so he so we get it and then i got to fly it like i like because the controls are the same in both seats and so he's like all right it's yours and he's like kind of guiding me through it but i got to like turn right and turn left

that's insane and yeah and is he like uh is he an ex-military he is but funnily enough he was in the air force but he wasn't a pilot in the air force where do you learn how to pilot like i know you can take but not for a jet can Can you take lessons to pilot a jet? Yeah, he had a friend who did it and his friend kind of tutored him and then he flies in formation now like for shows and stuff. Wow. But the craziest thing is, and I say this with like love for the man because he's become a friend, but he's terribly uncoordinated. And I didn't know this until after i was teaching the windshield wipers are going off like like it's like i i had to teach him how to do a high five oh see that's why you learn in the military top gun academy

high five wait a minute you weren't in the military. You can't high five. So you, before you, but he wasn't like, he didn't stumble out of the airplane hangar and say, pleased to meet you with a bucket on his foot. No, no. I mean, he's very, very put together. He's like searching for his keys. I just got to find my keys for the airplane. I just need to look into this turkey. Uh-oh, it's on my head.

Like the first, like he really went, the first day he was going to take us, the brakes had failed. There was just like some, so he was doing his checks and the brakes wouldn't work properly. And he's like, well, they'll work in the backseat, so maybe you can operate. And we were like, no, no, we'll just do it when the brakes are all fixed. Wow. So, yeah, so it's like, it's super tiny? It's super small. Yeah.

It's very compact. And then, like, is your head, like, basically touching the canopy? Yeah, basically. I mean, there's room there. And you have a helmet on? I have a helmet with a little. No, I didn't need the oxygen mask, but have a mic because it gets, you know, pretty loud in there. And then it just feels like it's unlike any experience I've ever had.

You feel like you're floating. It's so smooth and it takes off so fast that you're like, just suddenly like, it's like a spaceship. And then he, he took us upside down. We do this like half roll is like a half loop with a rollout. So you like, you go all, you go straight up to the, to the sky. To the moon. And then to the moon. And then you, and you turn over and then suddenly gravity takes over because you're

pulling all those four G's, right? So you just feel it on your back. Like you're pressing against the seat. And as soon as you stop, everything kind of shoots up and like things fall and hit the, and you look up and there's the ocean. So all of his coins. Yeah. All the coins.

Yeah. If there's a cat, it's like, ah, all confused. What's happening? Oh, pardon my kit. Yeah, because sometimes cats like to sleep on a jet to keep warm, so you guys do a walk around before you take off. I was taking care of my friend's cat and car, and I once drove. Bad news, I can win the two. We were house-sitting cat and car. And I once. Uh-oh. Yeah, I once drove.

Bad news. I combined the two. We were house sitting. My girlfriend and I drove. Your car went into the bathroom in a box. And your cat went through a drive-thru. I drove like, we drove like two or three miles to like across town. And we get to a gas station.

And they're like, oh, that looks just like Rosie. Like the cat we were taking care of. And it crawled into the, you know, whatever the oil pan that cats do underneath the car. and we get to a gas station and they're like, oh, that looks just like Rosie. Like the cat we were taking care of and it crawled into the, the, you know, whatever the oil pan that cats do underneath the car. And it had like gone on the whole ride with us. How long a ride? It was like 25 minutes.

Wow. And we had stopped many times. And the fact that like the cat hadn't jumped out before. Yeah. It's a, yeah. So listeners check your car. Or jet.

Or jet. Check your jet Now you said This jet experience Was life changing Because it was A brand new experience Like I hadn't I'm gonna ask you

How your life has changed I'm still the same Idiot That I've always been Yeah Um Yeah I've never Done anything

No with G's I've stayed away From G's Well like a roller coaster Even your phone's Really slow Yeah oh boy Sometimes a roller coaster Um, yeah, I've never done anything. No, with G's. I've stayed away from G's. Well, like a roller coaster. Even your phone's really slow. Yeah. Oh boy.

Sometimes a roller coaster will pull a G. Yeah? Yeah. You'll feel it. I don't know. Yeah. No thanks. I don't know.

Not for you. Ain't nothing but a G thing? Would you, would you go on a, on one of these aerobatic flights if you were given the opportunity? I guess if, if I knew guy an australian guy that could get like get it for free do they crash more often than a regular flight like i feel like at any air show yeah there's always a yeah oh no i mean it's like it's i don't i mean i don't i didn't look at the stat i don't know if i'll go again you know like i would rather go on a monster truck than a jet if i was given the choice between two i know that wasn't your question but i would rather go in a monster truck than a jet. If I was given the choice between the two. I know that wasn't your question, but I would rather go in a monster truck.

Like in an actual like crushing cars. Yeah, I would want to go crush cars. That's scary. Like you'd fall back. You'd roll backwards most likely. No. They always roll backwards. That's true.

I don't think anyone dies. No. Yeah, and I think for the first time where they take you to some pre-crushed cars. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Graham wants to do the Make-A-Wish Foundation version of this. Yeah, I don't want to go crash civilians' cars. Yeah, he just wants to meet Shaq.

He wants to have Chris Pratt show up at his hospital bed. He wants to go on a muscle drive. Yeah, I want to go on a muscle drive. He wants to go on a monster truck Yeah I want to go on a monster truck It's uh Somebody They went to school with as a kid Had an uncle that

There was legend that his uncle Had a monster truck There's no There's no physical evidence But there were a lot of photos Of this kid in the monster truck We don't Sometimes around here you'll see

And not nearly as much as you would In other parts of the country or the world, those trucks that are, that have giant wheels. They're not monster trucks. They're regular trucks, but they have the giant wheels and they're way off the ground. Yeah. And we had our first snowstorm in three years here this week. And it, I've seen a couple of them just tearing it up. This is their time.

It's happened. We have a purpose. Yeah, it's been a very, yeah, because our city's not equipped for snowfall, but it hasn't been disastrous. It's really funny how different it is between where where i live in the west end and up on like up on commercial or up you know this is mount pleasant you're on right now yeah it's so frozen up yeah yeah back down there it's just like it's never happened like there was just like nothing but there's also this kind of city-wide assumption that when it snows that like you're just not gonna get to where you're like people just won't go places. Yeah. Half the cars on my street haven't moved since it snowed on Monday.

Yeah. And like I was waiting for a bus when it was like really blizzarding. And then I just realized, oh, that bus is never coming. Oh yeah. They quit. Yeah. So I just walked like the whole distance. I was like, well, I guess I'm just walking.

Cause yeah, they, they will. They'll just like slide into, into something. And then that's it. That's the end of that bus route. I saw six buses go the other way, and not one came back. Oh, downhill. They must have gone downhill. We're pulling Gs. I'm wearing my G suit.

So would you say that was the highlight of that kind of world tour? That was one of the highlights, yeah. There's things that are kind of less fun to talk about like just how nice it is to meet all these, like to do all these shows.

Oh yeah. More fun things to talk about. But yeah, I ate an ant. There you go. It tasted like... Like Aunt May? Am I right? Am I right, fellas?

Aunt May. Yeah, there's these green ants in that part of Australia. Big? Yeah, and, like, scary looking. Like, they're huge, and they're green. Like Honey, I Shrunk the kids big yeah like you feel like you just yeah you're riding one right yeah like like what the size of like a house fly are we talking uh that big or smaller than that yeah like that big like they're not that's pretty

big for an ant and they they make their nests in in trees out of they so uh they take out a needle and they sew leaves into like a sphere. So there's like, you can find, if you look up, you'll see these clumps of leaves that are actually there. What do they sew them with? Saliva? Yeah, I think they just use like a... Or something comes out of their butt. Yeah, yeah.

That's what everything within... Nog. Yeah. I'm going to stitch it together. Ant nog. Sounds a bit weird, ant nog. So you ate one? I ate, yeah, I ate one.

It seems like something that they would serve, you know, in a big bowl. Well, I ate it off the ground. Like, I ate it, like, it wasn't like at a restaurant. Is it not a delicacy? I think what they do there is like you take a ton of them and like mash it up and turn it into kind of a drink. But it tastes just like eating a lime. lime like it's oh yeah so but like did somebody from there say this is something we do yeah yeah this my my friend sean who i mean we became friends on this tour because it seems like something that like oh yeah that uh that's a kobe beef for that that cow is a kobe beef cow

it's a delicacy. And you walk up and you chomp it. Okay, I guess I'll eat it. Oh, no, wait, no. Delicious. You weren't kidding. So you just picked it off the tree? Yeah, he was like, oh, this food is,

I mean, these answers are food. I can't. I can't do his accent. He has a very specific, he was like, oh, okay, I'll do it. Oh, yeah. I'll try that. It's real good. That's good. Did he do it first or did he wait in anticipation? No, I heard because Shanoa had told me that he had done it like four years or five years ago. So I knew that it was a thing that could be done.

I just hadn't personally run across his hand. Did you kill it and then eat it? Or just throw it in? Yeah. Does Shanoa do everything first? Yeah. He does everything and then I go, okay, is it okay? Yeah.

Huh. You didn't eat it live. You squished it? I squished it and then ate the butt you just eat the back end oh i see yeah um it sounds really cruel yeah it's like that scene from carl's what oh yeah i got it there's a bud eating scene um what uh but it was very it was quick like you would you have another we were like i gotta have more yeah and i make me the drink i just snacking on them like popcorn no it kind of numbed my tongue too like it it kind of yeah it hurt also like not hurt but yeah like those green chilies you put in everything. Exactly. But I don't know what a regular ant tastes like because I've never eaten an ant.

I would imagine acidic and bitter. I wonder if it would taste limey. Do you know what the Pink Panther said when he stepped on an ant? Dead ant. Dead ant. He's saying it really. I've only ever eaten a bug that's flown into my mouth I haven't ever eaten one on purpose

Did you swallow it? Like did it go down your throat? Yeah I've eaten Like in the candy stores they sell Oh like in a thing? Yeah what do they make? Like a cricket?

Yeah Or like a salty cricket? Yeah Like some sort of millipede or something like that A gummy worm? And they're like But can you taste it? No, it's like, it tastes like popcorn. It's just, they've salted up so much in those.

Yeah. It just tastes like flavor. I mean, it's got a crunchy texture. Maybe Vietnam where they would have tarantulas on a stick. Oh, wow. Yeah. Vietnam Where they would have Tarantulas on a stick Oh wow Yeah and apparently That's similar to eating Like a really crispy

Chicken Like it's really salty And I don't know One time I don't know why Anybody eats anything One time I was hanging With my then girlfriend

And this little Asian boy And someone served us Monkey brain Where was this? This would have been Near the temple of Doom. You were hanging out with Short Round. I forget his name.

In the movie, the monkey's head is there and they lift the top off? Yeah. Chilled monkey brain. So either they put the whole head in the fridge or they take out the brain prepare it somehow and then put it back in the head yeah for presentation they don't have a lot of refrigeration near the temple of doom i mean they just like those people but it But it's chilled. You're right. It is chilled. Chilled monkey brains.

They had eyeball soup, snake surprise, and chilled monkey brains. Was it really snake surprise? Snake surprise. Yeah. And then what's her name says? What's the surprise? And then they'd slit the snake and all the little baby snakes come out. Oh. It's so bad.

Snake surprise seems like something you'd get in a cafeteria. Yeah. It should also. The snake should be the surprise part. Well, it is. It's the other. Yeah, it is more snakes. Yeah. But at a fancy dinner, there would still be sides.

You could just be like, I'm just going to eat all sides. Yeah, do you have rice? Yeah, rice or a roll. I'll just eat bread. I'm vegan. Yeah. Oh, I just filled up a bread. No chilled monkey brains for this guy.

Oh, sorry. Yeah, they'd look really good. That monkey didn't even look very, that didn't look like a very realistic monkey. No, it looked like a Halloween mask. Looked like an angry, like, you know, the gorilla costumes, the very, like,

looked like a gorilla costume. But, yeah, then they take the mask off, and it's just a guy's brain, and they're like,'m not eating just a guy's the phoenix sun's mascot his brain is he a gorilla yeah why why from phoenix i don't know it's perfect though you're from that near that part of the world do you have can you shed any light i don't take any responsibility for arizona but it's it's like you don't the any responsibility for Arizona. It's like you don't, the way they make a mascot now is like, it's got to be, it's got to represent, you know, the mountains that we come from. Right.

You got to wear a, you know, he's got to carry a scepter that represents local industry. But when they made. Wait, you mean there's a real, like, there's a thing about new, like, are there new mascots coming out? I feel like everything's already happened. Like, although there's no new sports. I think there still are, like, you know... Well, there's a new NHL team that just got announced. I assume that the mascot's going to be some sort of knight.

Yeah. We have, I mean, the Vancouver Grizzlies had Super Grizz. Mm-hmm. And he was a Grizzly. That makes sense. But I feel like the more, they overthink it now with newer teams. They'll be like, they will try to incorporate

all sorts of symbolism. White caps, all inclusive. Yeah. Instead of just being a gorilla in a Phoenix Suns uniform. Yeah, right. Yeah, because isn't there, I feel like there's a team where, or maybe a couple teams where it's just like a guy, like it's a guy. But it's a mascot head, but it's of a guy. It's not of an animal.

Like maybe the, like Duke. Yeah, there's cowboys. I've seen big mascots. Or like a Viking. Maybe the Vikings have a guy. It's just a big guy with a giant Viking head. Yeah, yeah. Or Mr. Met.

Who's Mr. Met? Is he the baseball head? Baseball head, yeah. That must have been one of the early on to be like, we're claiming baseball head. Yeah, that's great. I mean, it wasn't even. They were a pretty new team relative to some of the others. Is there a football head or a basketball head?

I mean, I imagine that exists out there. Yeah, it just might be a smaller, more regional team. Yeah. Is there a hockey puck head? No. Well, I mean, there was Peter Puck. Yeah, and Don Rickles. Did I talk about the baseball team from Albuquerque last?

I feel like, but how. No, last time I think you talked about the end of Breaking Bad. Yeah. And the, that, uh, a flight you were on with the guy who was completely out of it and sticking. Oh God. Chocolate to the screen. Oh God. That still, I still have nightmares.

No, the, uh, we're just talking about mascots. The, the, yeah, I know. The, the, the Albuquerque used to have a baseball team,

a triple A team called the Albuquerque Dukes. Cause the Duke of Albuquerque was the, was the guy who found, I don't know. Yeah. But we sold that. They ended up selling that to Calgary of all places. Oh really?

Yeah. The team, they changed the name or whatever it became. Right. Uh, so we didn't have a baseball team for a while. And in that, in that interim of no baseball team,

the Simpsons did a show where they go to Albuquerque and the team name is called the Albuquerque isotope. Isotopes, right. Because New Mexico is the Manhattan project was made. And so this is like, and so then we, we made the And so, then we made, Albuquerque was like, that's a good idea.

And so, now the team is called the Albuquerque Ice. Ah, so they... They took from the Simpsons. Yeah. It's like the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. And there was uproar at the time when they announced

that that was the name of the team. People were furious. Yeah, I think that's kind of what happened in Albuquerque. People were not enthusiastic about it. But now, I bet they sell a ton

of merch. Do they call it merch with baseball teams? Uniforms? Hats? Uniforms and hats. Does New Mexico have any major sports teams? No. No.

No. You know, nothing. No football team. No. No. Not enough money. Yeah. I guess.

I don't really know what it takes to have a. I think it takes money. I think it just, it's bottom line is like it. Enough people to fill a stadium. Yeah. Consistently. Do you think it's weird that Las Vegas got a team or do you think that that's a hockey team yeah yeah it's kind of weird right weird necessarily weird that they got a hockey team before some other places where the hockey is celebrated yeah where it's

so popular it just seems like would people go when you're in vegas because i assume it's not the the population of vegas they're depending on yeah it. It's the tourism. I guess, yeah. But, like, would you go to Las Vegas and then go see a hockey game? If I... I could see... I'd want it to be a triple X. I would... All nude?

All nude? Oh, I would want to go see whatever. Cirque du Soleil presents... Hockey. Slapstick. But I could conceive of people from here going to watch our team play there. Oh, yeah.

Just because it's a cheap flight. But that's a lot to count on. Yeah, exactly. I think, I mean, Vegas is so... Vegas, baby! Yeah, here's some money! It's hard to kind of imagine just like how many people go through, Vegas is so. Vegas, baby. Yeah. You're so money. It's hard to kind of imagine just like how many people go through Las Vegas every day. Like there's a ton.

Yeah. Millions and millions of people are just hanging out there. Have you been there as an adult? Yeah. And what, did you like it or were you like. No, it's not for me. They didn't make Las Vegas for me. No.

But it's got something for everyone. Yeah. As long as you love gambling and prostitution. Or getting wasted. Right. Yeah, which, no, I'm not a big, though I did grow up, I learned how to play craps at an early age because my parents sold gambling strategies online first it was a it was like money first it was like money and then they kind of my stepdad wrote all these books and like how to and so i learned his systems but he wasn't it wasn't a big gambler his big gamble was that business and how did it

go well oh yeah it went fine so uh which one did you learn to play with? Craps? Craps. Yeah, I would be the stick. Yeah. Yeah, the dice and blackjack. So is it important who you get to blow on the dice? Yeah, that's really, that's all it is.

Who blows on the dice and like, yeah, and like if there's a pretty lady at the end. That's the whole book. Okay, first. Find a pretty lady. Find a hot table feel the dice if they're hot you've got it so what is

in short craps is you throw dice on a table yeah and your sevens and elevens yeah well so you can

you can you can bet either way but we'll talk about the pass line how much time do we have yeah so it's basically yeah you roll a point.

If you roll a number before a seven, that's the point, and you try to get that number again before the seven. Or if you roll the seven first, you win. Oh, I see. Okay. Oh, okay. So it's like you roll an eight, and you're like, all right, I've got to get an eight now before I roll the seven.

And then there's all these, like, things written on the board. That's nothing. That's nothing? Is it just nothing? That's nothing? Is it just nothing? That's to fool you. You spilled

paint? Yeah. If you look, all crab stables are different. They all just say like, no.

Just because they're reusing old felt. It's just about the... Just transformers on the table. All right.

But you don't have to like aim. No, you're not rolling. It does have to hit the end. Sure. Or it doesn't count as a roll. I would suck so bad at it. Like I'm sure I would miss the end or they'd go bouncing over.

How often does that happen? That happens a lot. In your parents' online business. So we had like a mini craps table. It looked like it was just a little bit smaller than they would find. Because they're huge. Craps tables are really big. Yeah.

Right. It was like the size of a pool table, the one we had. What's the one, what's the like street game, which is just called dice? That's craps. But we just play on the ground? Yeah, you can play without that table. People can just bet. You just say like, all right.

And then you just do these like things called call or field bets or come bets where you say you can play within the, I know. You can play within the, while there's still a, when there's a point established. Boy, this is good. Oh, wow. So here's the question. Here's the term loaded dice. Yeah. Is that, what is that?

Drunk. No, it's weighted. So it's weighted to like fall on the seven or whatever. Yeah. Interesting. Mark, is this your card? Oh my god!

It's just a rating card. Oh! Dave, what's going on with you? Guys? Snowfall? Yes. Do you guys love it? Yeah Yeah you know I like the sun It was really like It was pretty consistently socked in here

For I feel like maybe a month Many months Yeah like where there hadn't even been one day of sun It really was like 28 days or something like that Between So this is nice Yeah, like where there hadn't even been one day of sun. It really was like 28 days or something like that between. Yeah. Yeah, it was a ton of. So this is nice.

Every night before bed, I take Margo outside and we go and she wants to see if she can see the moon or stars or an airplane. Right. But like for a month, you could not see the sky at all. And now it's just too cold to go outside. Yeah. So you're damned if you do. One of my favorite things that I say about the snowfall is that so many people who are born and raised here in Vancouver,

this is their one chance to make a snowman, and they do not know what they're doing. I've been taking a lot of pictures of very poorly constructed snowmen. The big ball goes on the bottom, right? Oh, wait, the top. But like, you know, like one of the ones that was near my house just kind of looks like an upright snow snake. Like it's all skinny.

Skinny and long. Snow snake surprise. Oh, no. They, yeah, no, it was the first time with Margo that she had seen snow. I get, well, once we took her to the mountains, but she had, she was, uh, I, that was a year ago. And so she had no idea what anything was. Uh, now she can say snow. She was excited about the snow.

She wants to keep looking outside and watch it fall. And I love it too. Like I, I, when it's falling and when it first falls it's so pretty and everything feels really quiet and she loves the crunch under her feet and then we went to the park and it had only been snowing for like a few hours and so we built a snowman but it was all just covered in leaves yeah nothing worse than dirty snow Yeah. Nothing worse than dirty snow.

And we didn't have like, you know, the leaves really do leave like a dark stain on the snow. So I was using leaves to like paint a face on. And yeah, that was the best. Like it was a Monday morning and I just was like, I'm not going anywhere. Let's go, let's go to the park and then go get hot chocolate. Uh, and. That's like, that's magical. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the winter wonderland they sing about. And I, I have a car with all wheel drive and. Nice. And, uh, snow tires. And so I can go places. Right. But we live on a hill and just, I'm surprised it hasn't happened during the recording, but for 10

minutes at a time, a car will try to get up the hill and just spin its tires. Oh, right. I drove here. Well, I just won't go that way. Yeah. Yeah. You're probably fine.

The sun's been on it all day. I did hit the curb when I parked because the snow. Yeah. Kind of pushed me of pushed me around. I don't think our garbage is going to get picked up for a long while. That's my... But it's called out, so I feel like it'll keep. Yeah.

I have a city app, and they said it's not going to get picked up. But just leave it out. They'll be working on the weekend. Oh, but they were working for the weekend. We got a real lover boy crew. And the other thing is I've been shoveling a lot. Well, not a lot. Shoveled a lot the first day.

Right. And then salting as I go. And I ran out of salt. And so I went to Home Depot yesterday and they're all out of salt. Oh, wow. And so, and I didn't want to, and I drove to another hardware store that was closed, closed at eight o'clock and I went to, and I was just

like, oh, well, I guess no salt. They were like, no problem. Does regular salt work? I think it'll just, it won't go far enough. Yeah. Uh, and so I went to, cause we just have this one like, uh, eaves trough that, that all the snow melts off the roof and comes down onto the ground and just in the day it's a puddle and at night it's an ice rink. Right. And, uh, so I, they said, we won't have, um, we won't have more salt until Friday night or until Friday.

And then that's basically when this the it'll be warmer by then right uh and so i just i i gave up on getting salt and i went to shopper's drug mart to get some some bathroom needs yeah sure scented candles and the like that's not even true I was getting band-aids, waterproof band-aids. Yeah. And breathe right strips. How's the wound healing? The stitches are doing fine.

Oh, I guess you probably talked about this. Yeah, cut myself. Pretty bad. But, yeah, so yesterday I was at Shoppers Drug Mart, and I was waiting in line to pay for my stuff, and this woman budges in front of me in line to talk to the woman, the cashier, and said, do you have any salt? And the woman's like, yeah, of course. We always have salt.

No, not for eating. The kind you put on the ground. There was a language barrier. Right. The kind you put on the ground for not slip. And the woman behind the counter asks another person and says, oh yeah, no, we do it in aisle nine. And then I got right out of line.

Went over to aisle nine. There were two containers of salt left. I got one. And this woman, this, she was like 60. She, she comes to where I am and she's looking around for where the salt would be. And I pointed to it and I said, hey, there's one more left. It's the salt.

And she looks at it and it's this big container of salt that you can see inside and it's like salt that looks like gravel. Right. And she looks at it and she says, no, no, not the salt you eat. Not salt for my bathtub. What is she salting? What is she eating? So I was like, what?

So I just stood there pointing at it for a while and backed away. You're on your own. Yeah. This is what you're looking for. But if you think I'm, you know. Then did she? I didn't keep track of her comings and goings after that but yeah salt i i our place just this is just slippery like we don't

have if we had a shovel i would shovel but i'm not gonna go buy it i'm i rent i don't do i'm not gonna buy a shovel go rent a shovel oh yeah where do you do that i have one of those furniture rental places yeah just like uh i used to i don't know if i'm gonna buy this but i want to take it for a testament bring it back got dealer plates i remember one year it snowed and uh we didn't have a shovel like sidewalk shovel but we we had like digging your own grave shovel. Oh, okay. So I used that to break up the ice and that took, it was like that was the whole day. Well, ironically, it's too cold to dig your own grave. I know.

Yeah. So it'll have to wait until the new year. So yeah, that's been me. Been frolicking in the snow apple cheeked yeah winter walking in a winter wonderland great sweater yeah i do have a great sweater on yeah yeah you do you look really you're really this time of year's mascot yeah what's going on with you? So the last podcast we taped with a guest, Beth Stelling, right after I had to go out of town, I had to go. I was going to catch a flight to go to Victoria to open for John Doerr. So I split a cab with our guest downtown, and it was crazy that day like sideways rain oh yeah it was

like really just i remember that day yeah it was just like kind of uh sideways rain dick yeah like if you were outside for more than like three minutes you were just soaked there was no way to not be and so i got to the there's like these little harbor. I remember it now too. Yeah. These little harbor planes that fly from Vancouver to Victoria. And they like drop you right downtown. And it's super convenient. 15 minute flight. Yeah. And it's super like, it's expensive, but it's more expensive than taking the ferry.

Did you pull any G's on it? I think I lost a few G's. uh i think i lost a few g's but i got there and the waiting area was like filled and i was like this is not good this is not good news uh and i went up to the lady and i checked in and she said well it's weird she checked me in and then she said it like it was an afterthought like oh all of the flights so far have been canceled i was like well it seems like you should have led with that instead of what's my name and weigh my bag and all this stuff. So she's like, I don't know if any flights are going to happen today. Like if the weather clears, then they'll happen.

But then I was like. And the gig's that night, right? Yeah, yeah. And so now it's like. Too late to get a ferry. Very on the bubble. yeah so uh like i asked her but even if they start flying there's like all these dudes from all the flights that have missed and she said yeah i don't know like and so then i was like well do you well, do you know anything? Basically, it was my follow-up question.

Like, do you know what I can do to get over there? And she's like, I don't. I think you can get on a city bus to go to the ferry. Oh, gosh. So I was like, you're the most useless. And so I just left. And then I looked at the time, and I was like, if I get on the train and find that bus, I can get on the last possible ferry to still make the show. Oh, my God.

So then that was the rest of the day. It was just like, ah, there's this one city bus and everybody's got crazy luggage like they're going on a plane, but on a bus so there's no under the seat compartment certainly no overhead oh man and i don't know like if you're moving to the island are you gonna take a bus yeah wouldn't you take a moving truck like it seemed to be a lot of luggage for people that were going on a ferry and uh and it's just like uh i don't know what it is is it because it's an island that there's a lot of the very bizarre fashion that i see especially on the bus heading to the ferry just stuff that i'm like where did you even buy something like that like it looked like two pairs of pants stitched together like

really weird strange pants and vests anyways together with aunt goo um and then yeah i got on the ferry and you made it i did i got on the ferry the end uh the end uh the gig on the ferry yeah it. I was doing five minutes in the arcade. Oh, I could see them trying that too on the ferry. It's like, oh, stand-up comedy on deck four. So then, yeah, I got to Victoria, but then I was like, oh, yeah, like this isn't the downtown. It's still your way the hell out in some port.

Like, it's not close to Victoria. And it was getting, like, close to the show, so I took a cab. The guy didn't really tell me how much it was going to be, but it was like, I think he probably could have taken the rest of the night off. Like, I guess maybe one,

and I should have known that, because there was one cab sitting there. I was like, oh, this isn't a thing people do. This guy was, like, hoping for somebody desperate. So I just hopped in, and I was like, to this place. And he just. $400 later. I was like, I guess.

Like, as I saw the number change, it was like, yep, paying with a card. Oh, man. Anyways, I made it. I don't know what it is. I saw the number change, it was like, yep, paying with a card. Oh, man. Anyways, I made it. I made it for the show. And how did the gig go? Was it more expensive than the flight? Yeah. I mean, it would have been.

And you got refunded for the flight, right? Yeah. Well, I wasn't paying for it. The gig was paying for it. So I don't know what happened with the flight. But yeah. You don't care. Yeah, I don't care. Out of't care that is like uh but anyways that guy is uh and this was a weird

thing about uh because i don't think he had driven anybody for that long so he kept asking me the same question but every on like a cycle he kept asking like every 12 minutes, so you come here, come to Victoria after? I was like, we just had this conversation. He was a robot. You knew. Yeah, yeah. This is how you find out if it's a robot. Oh, interesting. Got quite a rind on you.

Something, something Westworld. Can you imagine if you did like doing a gig on a ferry like that, if you actually had to do something like that? I can easily imagine. It would totally happen. And if the gig went bad, which it would, you would be stuck on this ferry for the rest of the night. It's like a cruise ship comedian. Oh, man. If you're on a cruise ship for a week and your show's on the first night and it goes badly, you're just there for the...

Have you ever... You haven't done anything like that. I haven't done anything on a cruise ship. I went on a cruise with my family for my mom's birthday and we went and saw the comedian and it was man like that guy he couldn't even get a word out because the crowd is so drunk i i've never seen a crowd so drunk but these people are out on the sea and they have no no way they have have nothing to do. Yeah. And they have these cards that you just go and like, whoop.

And then you just get a drink and drink half of it and throw it down some stairs and get another drink. But there's money on the card. It's prepaid, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. So they buy like a package or whatever. They're not going to get a bill later for the card. No.

Oh, man. So they're just drunk. Like, they're insane. Like, this guy goes out, and you're on a boat, and he comes out on stage, and he's like, hey, how's everybody doing? People are just screaming at him. Like, he's a stripper. Like, people are just like, ah.

Oh, man. I'd like to be drunk. I mean mean being drunk Is one of the best It is kind of fun I can't get drunk No? What?

Until the baby's born Because I might have to Drive it any second Oh that's Yeah yeah yeah I just I just thought like Oh you've got some

New tolerance Yeah yeah No it occurred to me A couple weeks ago I was like Maybe I'll have a second drink Oh maybe I can't Oh yeah

Yeah So you and Abby No drinks I know So unfair A couple weeks ago, I was like, maybe I'll have a second drink. Oh, maybe I can't. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you and Abby, no drinks. I know. So unfair. Margo's drinking for three. Yeah. Did I tell you? I told you about that, like, on the cruise ship.

They gave your gifts to you in the gift shop in this, like, beautiful bag. And there's just one sitting in the hallway out in front like beautiful bag and uh there's just one sitting in the hallway out in front of where we were staying that was just filled with vomit just like some lady like took the gift out put it out in front of her room good night that's where this goes right not going to my room bag of bars. It was really. Oh, man. Now, this time every year. Yeah. We like to spread cheer. Yeah.

And it rhymes. And so that's convenient. Now, every year, Graham and I, in our Christmas episode, we do a secret Santa. Yeah. And this year, I pulled Graham. And I pulled Dave and Mark. Oh, no. Oh, yeah.

No, we both pulled Mark. This thing he's going to give Mark is from. Yeah, yeah. This is from both. Do you want to exchange them? Mine's wrapped. Yeah, mine's more of a display. I wish I had known.

Yours is like a display. There's yours. And Drew. Graham has drawn a candle. What would you call that? Two pieces of holly? Yeah And then Mark's is a It's a Christmas tree

Or a butt plug Yeah, it looks like a butt plug Ah, what? Or like a spade Can I take a picture of both of these? Yeah Yeah I wish you had told me

I would have No, no I would have participated You are participating Just by being here Your presence is the only presence That the presents There you go Mark

Alright so do we do this I guess so Did you wrap this with An old Wine bag That was my bagel oh there's some good holy did you wrap this with a like an old like wine bag like that was uh my bagel came in that this morning yeah oh and this uh is a uh like a shipping package for a sponsor that sent us some some stuff that ended up not sponsoring the show oh my gosh a nutcracker wait not just a nutcracker A nut It's a lobster

A nutcracker With lobster things Oh this is fantastic And a deck of cards So I can do my magic tricks Silly buddy Which is the best And then

And then the guy From Return of the Jedi With a With a laser gun Yeah It's Lando's Co-pilot Whatever this guy's name is

Yeah I don't remember His name But he's got jowls. Yeah. Very jowly. Now, Graham has given me two different pairs of gloves. Yeah. These are so that when you're washing your dishes, you don't cut your hand anymore. Well, they're not knife-proof.

Well, no, but I figured if you wore these rubber ones and those on top of it, that that would do the trick. And a gift card to dairy queen orange julius yeah for the next time if you cut yourself on the way all right you go get yourself a treat so pizza that's pretty good thanks graham oh you're welcome this is great my present for you graham this is a display under it's underneath a tarp so this is an unveiling now this is something you have expressed interest in before, a different version of. There we go. Oh!

Something fell. Oh my gosh! It's all the beautiful things that Chris von Zombathy does. Yeah, it's some painted bottles from our friend, past guest, Chris von Zombathy. Dave. Wow.

Thank you so much. You're welcome. Those are really beautiful. You mentioned it like a year and a half ago, and I was like, I should have given it to you last Christmas. Now, one thing you gave me last Christmas. Do you remember what you gave me last Christmas? I gave you my heart, and the very next day you threw it away. Gave it away.

Oh, sorry. Was a subscription to goat magazine yeah and was that real it was i paid for it i never got it never got an issue an issue of goat magazine yeah so maybe it was a scam now maybe i got scammed you might have got scammed um the one other thing i got you as is tradition is some, some sexy boyfriend coupons. The secret Santa Christmas coupons. These are redeemable anytime within the year. From your, you know, from me.

Yep. Your significant other. That's right, my life partner. Present this coupon and we'll spend the afternoon making a cute lip dub of your favorite love song. Some of these are based on real ones I found on the internet. Let's go shop for scarves for each other. That's a good one. That's a real one. Good for one afternoon away from my

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You're being indicted on fraud charges. I wouldn't redeem that one. Good for a 1,000-minute back-scratching session. I saw one for a 10-minute back-scratching session, and I was like, I can do better. 10 minutes is already too long. Prepare for some unsanitary fun as I cook you breakfast in a bikini I found at Wendy's. Present this coupon and I'll romantically shout at your window during a rainstorm.

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That was based on a real. Porch swing sex? It was a list of like fun places to do, and one of them was a porch swing. That just sounds... I never got into the fun places to do it. Well, also people are drinking lemonade on it. Yeah, that's true. And shouting racist things at the neighborhood kids.

Present this coupon, and I'll help you with your fantasy baseball team, because last season you drafted Lyle and Eric Menendez. Murderers. This one has a hole cut in it and it says put dick here. That's not a coupon. Sure it is. Coupon, crayon, crouton, neutron. This is a slam poem and a list of

things you can fit in your butt you can fit a crouton not a coupon what can you say about a

coupon like this that hasn't already been said it's fun it's cute it's romantic it is important coupon

we salute you and that is coupons 2016 that was very nice merry christmas to you Merry Christmas to you, Graham, to you, Mark, and to

all you out there. From our family to yours. Now for time... Now for time. Now for time? For father time? We'll listen to a couple ads and we'll do some overheard. There you go. I'm Hal Lublin.

I'm Danielle Radford. I am Michael Eagle. And we are the hosts of Tights and Fights, Maximum Fun's newest podcast dedicated to all things wrestling. We'll be talking about Sasha Banks, the Women's Revolution, Sasha Banks,

the brand split, and Sasha Banks' wigs. And we'll also be talking about wrestler fashion. Some wrestlers wear too many clothes. Some wrestlers don't wear enough clothes at all. And I'll be doing impressions of all your favorite wrestlers. New episodes Thursdays on Maximum Fun or wherever you

get your podcasts. Oh yeah! Dig it! Dice and Bites Podcast Dice and Bites Dice and Bites What do Maria Bamford, Jad Abumrad, Dick Cavett, Phoebe Robinson, Guys and boys! What do Maria Bamford,

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and to grab your ticket before they're gone. Forever. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which we Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard

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Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard

Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard

Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard

Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard

Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard

Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard

Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard

Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard

Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard

Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard this discussion had been going on like for a while like there seemed to there's four people and like standing in the hall of this apartment complex and as i walked by there's one guy i noticed one guy was holding three pizzas so there's like a delivery guy there but he wasn't wearing like a very like regular looking delivery outfit or something like usually and so one of the guys who's not holding the pizza says uh well can we there was a lot of accents. He's like, well, can we pay with two cards? And, uh, and then the pizza delivery guy is like, he's like, no, we, one, and the guy is like, well, we can, why don't I pay for everything? And the pizza guy is like, guys, we can't, I can't keep doing this.

Like what was going on? I'm going gonna pay with a I can't live like this anymore I've got a jar of change so and then also put seven dollars

on my debit card why don't I just pay for everything with my magic card he had he had been there like enough times

where he was like guys this we can't do this figure out one method and then why don't you pay this time and he pays next time

and everybody looked so tired like everybody and like they're all like young guys but they all just look like they're like oof this is a like everyone knew

they weren't allowed to leave until the problem was solved yeah yeah well a guy can leave with his pizzas yeah there's also this thing

and I think it's mostly young men, is that you become overly familiar with your pizza delivery man. Right. Because he's showing up, you know, a couple times a week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And. Hi, Bill. And he knows the order and the address. I know his name because it's on the Domino's pizza tracker that

Boris has left with your pizza. There was one time Barry was doing everything in my pizzas. Oh really? Taking the order, making it, putting it in the oven. And delivering it? Not delivering it, but doing the quality check. Wow. But

then one day, no more Barry. We were crestfallen. There should be an app where you can track all the, like a reunion app. Really, we should feel good for him that he's no longer doing this. And Domino's is the only chain that has a tracker. It's dope, dude. It is. I don't know why I'd rather.

You can get on a computer. On the computer. Or your phone. And you can, you know, there's no like, it's not a closed circuit camera of your pizza. Right. But that can't be that far away though. Like you follow the, like you follow the car. It's not a map or anything.

Right. It's, it's, you just says like at, at 529, they put it in the oven. What? Yeah. And it's this arrow that goes along and it gets highlighted. It's really fun. And then it'll be like, it's en route. Yeah.

Yeah. So put your pants on. I'm ordering a pizza right now. Also, can I make one recommendation? They make these lava cakes that you never in a million years would think would be good. They're the greatest. Yeah. Get a little bit of vanilla ice cream with them.

That's what my delivery guy suggested. These are good with vanilla ice cream. They don't bring the ice cream, right? No. They bring the noise. Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine's an overseen, fellas. The other day I was driving along and I saw someone parked in a parking lot. Looked like they were maybe cleaning the mats of their car. The floor mats. Sure. And getting in and out of their car. And I just saw they were wearing a hoodie and on the back was something was written.

And this is maybe this is a very popular hoodie. Sure. Because I looked it up online and you can buy them. But I don't know if they're widespread or what the meaning is behind them. Varney? Did it say Varney? Those are French sunglasses. Roots?

It said, shoot informants, not drugs. Hmm. What? So, yeah, there is a little bit of logic to unpack here. Yeah, yeah, because shoot an informant, you would shoot with a gun. Yeah. Or out of a cannon. Drugs, you would shoot with a gun. Yeah. Or out of a cannon. Drugs, you would shoot with a needle.

Yeah. Yeah. But if you were not shooting drugs, then what do you care? Why are you advocating for murder? Huh. And what informants of what? I guess drug. Yeah.

Drug informants? But then if you're, yeah, if you're shooting informants, why do you care about drugs? And if you're not shooting drugs, why do you care who's informing who? And it's not shoot informer. That's snow. Speaking of snow. A licky boom boom down. Well, we'll never get to the bottom of it.

What was the neighbor that I used to live next to had... Wilson? Yeah, he would come over and he would tell me something and I would get it wrong later. He'd be like, raise your sons, don't let them raise you. And then I'd be like, shoot informers, let them raise you and then i'd be like shoot informers to my wife later that night and she'd be giving your son to raisin um no he had one of those like uh you know don't bother coming in unless you want to blow your face but it was like you know yeah he had a

sticker that had like a gun on it it said like property in fourth by yeah it was something like that and he had several of them and uh i don't know you know like i'm more like if you see one of those stickers less than being afraid you would not rob the place because you'd be like this guy probably doesn't have any good stuff because he thinks these stickers are funny yeah yeah so he's probably also good you know like he's probably got like i don't know a bunch of stuff that you like suction cup onto a window or whatever you know forget the dog beware of owner yeah yeah yeah it just occurred to me uh you know how last week I cut myself while cleaning a knife? Don't people always shoot themselves cleaning a gun?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're lucky you weren't cleaning your gun in the sink. Yeah. So just scouring it. Oh, man. Yeah.

It's weird because I don't know that i know anybody who owns a gun but i probably do and that's very but i wouldn't be able to tell you who was who in terms of gun ownership right you know what i mean the further you get out of the city you can oh no i mean in the city like i'm just thinking of like people i know in town that you think people like own pistols in the city i guess i guess probably i mean i hear a lot of people going pew pew pew a friend of mine who used to do comedy doesn't do it anymore but his dad had a full-fledged shooting range in his basement in the city in the city yeah so loud yeah yeah but it was this soundproof proof and then like uh and it was down and it was just

like this long hall that you would shoot did he did he have one of those things you press the button it's like the kind of man target sheet goes like yeah i guess maybe man was target sheet um i'm just like i'm just trying to think of how big his property must be and where in the city it is it was this city this city up in the what do you call where all the mansions are up shaughnessy yeah yeah yeah in shaughnessy okay and it was like a soundproof basement Where you can shoot guns Yeah yeah yeah I mean obviously You could do other Scarier things there

Shoot guns at people Have people shoot guns At you Haunted house Yeah haunted house That is scary Oh they're the scariest A spook alley

Some sort of spook alley Do you have an overheard? Mine is kind of An overseen overheard And it correlates To this snow That we've had. You know, Vancouver's got a lot of older houses made of wood.

I live in one. Yeah. There's holes in it. Yeah. So the house across the street from mine is very old. It must have been built maybe maybe you know going on 100 years ago i would imagine and uh it's an old couple live there and i was waiting for a cab the other night and like you say when it first snows it has this insulating effect so everything's very quiet

so i couldn't hear anything and then just this loud crack. And their whole eavesdrop just, like, off the side of the house. But I was the only one. And I could just hear this. And I was like, what could that possibly be? Eavesdrop. Yeah. And I figure that house is just, like, old and stuff. Eh, we should probably just leave it like that.

And that's just how it'll just rain off the side of the house. Yeah. And that'll be that. Ta-da! Yeah, we've, um, yeah,

the, like, every year, the, uh, there's new, like, little bits where

mice and, and, you know, squirrels can get into our house. Oh, yeah. So,

like, they just have to come by and fill in holes and yeah yikes do you have a lot of little friends that live in this house yeah well fewer and fewer i hope i've made a few trips to the old uh i put them in the the uh like yard trimmings bin instead of the garbage not because they're yard trimmings but because of the garbage. Not because they're yard trimmings, but because those get picked up twice as often. Yeah.

Right. And they're going to be biodegradable. Although I don't know if the mouse traps are biodegradable. I mean, the metal on them is. Oh, you just throw the baby with the bath water. Well, what am I going to do? Reset the trap. No.

Why not? Because I picked it up with a shovel because I'm not touching it. You know there's mouse traps that you can just pick up and there's like a little clip. Like they're really easy to use. Oh, and then you're like... But those mouse traps that you get, they're like what, like five of them for two dollars?

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you get them from the dollar store. I was going to buy you some for Christmas. He's trying to tell me something. You're a rat. But here, I understand more how a mouse gets into like a house, as opposed to when people I know that have lived

in apartments and they live on the third floor. I'm like, how the hell did a mouse get in, let alone up three? How did that happen? They're wily. I had a run-in with the rat the other day in edinburgh where it like it like i caught it in the bathroom and uh what do you mean you caught it i turned the light on it looked like it was like shaving yeah you didn't like grab it

no no no i didn't it was just it was so good why is it shaving in the dark get out of here blind um it uh and it just like started break dancing because it couldn't find a way out Why was he shaving in the dark? He was like, get out of here. Blind. And it just started breakdancing because it couldn't find a way out because I was blocking the one door. So it just starts popping and locking? It just kept spinning. And then he ran between my legs and into the darkness of the flat, never to be seen again. Leaving a trail of shaving cream behind him. And a towel around his waist. That's my towel.

Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, I've heard that. I've heard stories about a rat coming up a toilet pipe. Really? You better not. You better not. Not while I'm in there doing my situation.

It's going to get the business into my pooter. It's the worst thing. Like Into my Pooter Just Can you imagine It's the worst thing Like you're already in a toilet You're like Oh man Oh no Thought I was going to get out

Couldn't get any worse Oh it's gotten worse Oh you're taking You're thinking of it From the rat's point of view Yeah yeah It's already pretty It's pretty bad for the human

No no The rat This Now Speaking of it from the rat's point of view. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's already pretty bad for the human. No, the rat. Now, this leads us to the part of the show where people send in their overheards. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Evan B. from North Vancouver. Oh, it's going to be slippery up there. Oh, boy. Oh, the mountains.

Oh, boy. Huppadah, duppadah. Careful. I was walking on Main Street and recently overheard a woman behind me say to her friend, if I won the lottery, I would save for retirement. You know, put it in an RSVP. Very good. That's good. That's fun

We get it Everybody gets it No one gets hurt This next one comes from Tim S. From Nashville, Tennessee I was at the airport Waiting for my bag

And baggage claim And a girl traveling With her college volleyball team Passed me Colley volley? Colley volley Telling one of her teammates, basically, the moral of the story is to never let me do that again.

Just kidding. Let me do that every single time. What a fun kid. What a weird moral. Yeah. I feel like I've never been on the ferry without some sort of amateur sports team. Sure, yeah. Traveling.

This time, I believe, I want to say it was a field hockey team. The time you and I went over a month or two ago, it was, I didn't see a sports team. Oh, no, we did see a sports team. But there was also a Japanese school. Yeah, it was a Japanese school. Also a Japanese school. Yeah, it was a Japanese school. And was there something that one of the guys had bought at the souvenir shop that we were like, why the hell would you buy that?

It was just some dumb Canadian. Yeah. Everyone was getting Canadians. All these Japanese teenagers had all dress chips. Yeah, that's true. They were all, they had heard, the word had gotten out. And it was just a bunch of Japanese girls in schoolgirl uniforms and one fat white guy sweating. This last one comes from Matt R. in Troy, New York.

I was playing bar trivia last night. The announcer asked, what was the name of Adolf Hitler's self-penned memoir? While most of us were writing down our answer, a player on another team said, loud enough to be heard across the bar, how about I'm a jackass? That's a burn. Yeah. I'm a jackass by Adel Hill. What was his self-titled memoir?

Or no, self-titled. Will there ever be a rainbow? Yeah. Leading with my chin so far. Dirty jokes and beer.

Styles never go out of fashion. There was a, I was telling my friend the other day that, because there was that time period when all these comedians had these books that were basically like their act. Yeah. Seinfeld kind of let it off and then bill cosby let it oh that's right yeah it was bill cosby and then there was paul reiser and tim allen and drew carrie and uh and then but in that time kelsey grammar put out his and i remember getting it and it's just his memoir and his life story it's like crazy yeah And I remember reading the first two chapters and being like, and this is where we part ways. Is it So Far?

Yeah, So Far. Yeah, I've read. Much of that. Well, you got it because you were getting every NBC person. Every NBC. I didn't know that Kelsey Grammer wasn't a comedian. Right. You know, he was on Frasier.

Yeah. Cheers. Cheers. The last sentence of that book ends with the title. It's like, so much, so good, so something, something. So far. And I think it ends with ellipses. It's like you're waiting for the sequel.

I think that might have been. No, wait. I think that's a good. Like, have there been greatest hits albums that are like, maybe Bryan Adams was so far so good and then never put up another hit? Still going not good. Still going not as well, yeah. So far so good.

Up next, do you like Don Juan DeMarco? In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That is 1-UGH-SPYPOD-1. Like these people here. Hi, Dave Graham and charming guest. This isrielle calling from toronto i have an overheard uh from my work where we host kids birthday parties on the weekend

and so they had just finished the party part and they were having the cake and they had saying happy birthday and everything and i believe this is for like an eight-year-old's birthday and so i think the cake said like happy birthday and the kid's name that I think had a D in it because the kids are trying to claim a piece of cake while it's getting cut. And so one kid goes, I want the D. And then another kid says, I want the D. And then finally about 10 kids are just yelling, I want the D. Everything in me to not burst out laughing from the other room.

At the idea of just 10 little children yelling, I want the D. It is weird, too, when you're divvying up a cake, like when you're a kid, anything that makes it like a unique slice. Or it seems like more. Yeah. Because there's those flowers on it. Mm-hmm. Even though they taste like shit. Oh, they taste.

Well, it tastes like nothing. It depends on what it's made of. What were the ones that weren't the flowers, but they were cake decorations, but they're made of like pressed sugar? Yeah, yeah, those are great. No, those are awesome. I love those.

They're like hard and flavorless, and you can suck on them all day long, and it's like you're just, it's like a plastic flower. Yeah. I remember they were very popular in the eighties, these things that you would get like, you know, and it would be like of a whatever Batman, but it'd be like this, like pressed sugar and you'd eat and it was not good. Like it wasop different manufacturers making the ones i had because they were good what about uh dragees the little like the round the they look like ball bags oh yeah oh the they're like they look like bb's yeah yeah yeah

yeah those were always weird when they yeah those are sweet those are really sweet you can yeah but they taste like a like licorice or something. I don't remember. Yeah. Yeah. But the silver comes off right away, and then you just got these white little balls. Remember those candy dots you could get that were like on a big sheet of paper? Yes.

No. Crazy. And then you just eat the dot off of the paper? Yeah, because I had this big old- Are you talking about Dippin' Dots? Yeah, no. Ice cream of the future? I remember you talking about Dippin' Dots? Yeah, no. Ice cream of the future? I remember that, yeah.

You talking about LSD? Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like it. Those dots that come on a sheet. Yeah, then you just have a crazy day. I've heard of this

kind of fruit that comes by the foot. Ooh! Here's your next phone call. Seriously. Subway sandwiches. Hey, boys and probable guests.

This is Bruce from Atlanta. And this weekend I was at a roller skating rink with my wife and my son. And I was going to grab a beer, as one does when roller skating. And the people in line in front of me were there with their little baby. And we'd been waiting quite a while for somebody to come over and serve us and the guy in front of me

got so fed up that he looked over at his table and said, you know what, I'm just going to go back there. Looks like they're ball deep in some pizza right now.

It's a very hard way to eat pizza. Yeah, if you're going to burn yourself. Yeah, I guess that expression doesn't commute past. Ball deep in pizza? Yeah, well, balls deep in anything. Yeah.

Unless you're in a ball pit. Or, well, I mean, that's just balls deep in balls. Balls deep in balls, yeah. Sure. Indiana Jones, balls deep in snakes. Balls deep in balls Yeah Sure Indiana Jones Balls deep in snakes Balls deep in snakes Yeah Yeah Where was this at

A roller rink Yeah Wow What else are you gonna do But drink beer and eat pizza I haven't Boy oh boy I haven't been inside

A roller rink in a while Yeah A long time When did you last rank The one we had Was called roller king And I think I went once in my youth. It was a terrible roller skate. Oh, really?

Yeah. We used to go pretty frequently. Really? So you can actually roller skate. Roller skate, yeah. Yeah, you almost went pro. Yeah. It was good on the car.

Until I busted his knee. I would stay on the periphery of the rink, I remember, because it was too slippery. It was the only place in Calgary, if you were a kid that had a birthday in the winter, it was one of the very few places that you could go for the birthday thing. So I went to a lot of those at Lloyd's Rollercade. Did you have like a Chuck E. Cheese equivalent or Chuck E. Cheese? We had a Chuck E. Cheese, but it was like way up in the north end of the city. And then we had Bullwinkle's. Do you remember Bullwinkle's?

No. It was like Chuck E. Cheese, but darker. And maybe there were three of them. Like Rocky and Bullwinkle? Yeah. Right. Like that somebody got the licensing rights and was like, I'll open up a restaurant. What was Rocky doing?

I don't know. Rocky's down the road. The one here was called Stardust. Stardust. Which is very. The rollerkate. Yeah, very rollerkate-y. Yeah.

Was that in the city limits or was that out? That was out in Surrey, I think. I only went there once. So any of like, and Chuck E. Cheese was maybe in Langley. Any of these, your birthday things are out in the burbs. But where, like with the kids now, I guess they do. I guess they do go to roller kites. Yeah.

And like I said a couple of weeks ago, every kid's birthday I've been to has been at a community center. Right. But I guess that's just for two-year-olds. At a certain point. You'll get, well, because a roller rink has all the things. It's got a hot dog. It's got a pizza. It's got a video games.

It's got a beer apparently. It's got beer and it's got, uh, you know, today's hits the greatest hits of today and yesterday. Yeah. You go up to the DJ booth and request play. Shut up kid. When I was a kid, it like Let's talk about sex Was Oh boy

They would ask for that So many times Oh sure Yeah I want to sex you up It was a Great time for sex music Color me bad

Yeah Yeah Um Your final overheard Here we go They'd probably play At a roller rink now Rude

Hi Dave Graham And uh Extraordinarily Beautiful guest Hmm Um right now hi dave graham and uh extraordinarily beautiful guest um so i was just standing in line like at the supermarket oh by the way i'm here in cambridge massachusetts do you like apples and uh i hear a woman on the phone behind me in line and she says, you know, it's sort of like being jealous of of, you know, Einstein? Was it Einstein? It was Einstein, right? Was it

Einstein? It's like being jealous of Einstein. Yeah, right. Right. It's Einstein. Yeah, it's like being jealous of Einstein for inventing the light bulb. So many checks. It's Einstein, right? You need more information It was a person The other person going like

Yeah Einstein I don't know what you're gonna say But yes Einstein Yeah it is Einstein Doc Brown's dog Back to the future Yeah Einstein What you call somebody

When they do something stupid Yeah Einstein Yeah Yeah no shit Sherlock It was Edison Einstein Well Well that brings us to the end of this year No one more

One more for 2016 It's been a really good year 2016 everybody's saying it's been a really great year We lost Gene Wilder Yep Van Wilder Did we lose Van Wilder?

Yeah the character died Oh no Taj killed him Spoiler I was gonna watch The Rise of Taj today No we have one more week of 2016 So

Oh boy If Ryannolds dies in the next week we will have heck on our face oh boy oh boy uh do you mark do you have anything coming up in the new year that you want to plug in the new year uh i mean uh pajama men Check your local listings We'll be We'll be in Sydney, Australia And Perth, Australia We'll be here in Vancouver For a couple days

Oh really? When's that? I'll be in Victoria February For comedy festival I think Just a little Little three show

Three show night In Grenville Island At the Waterfront Oh really? Yeah Oh that's very exciting Yeah If you out there Have not seen The Pajama Men perform show night at the Granville Island at the Waterfront. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's very exciting. Yeah, yeah. If you out there have not

seen the Pajama Men perform, do yourself a favor and see them live, because that's exciting. Yeah, yeah. And I don't know if, and we'll be in Albuquerque at my hometown for a couple weeks also, leading up to that. Now, this episode comes out on the 19th. How long is the Panto running?

Panto runs all the way to the 31st here in Vancouver. And you wrote this year's Panto. Yeah, this episode comes out on the 19th. How long is the Panto running? Panto runs all the way to the 31st here in Vancouver. And you wrote this year's Panto. Yeah, and I have a little help from a guy named Graham. And you got good reviews

for this. Yeah, it's going over well. It's been a lot of fun. I mean, it's so much fun. It's a huge collaboration kind of show. Right. I wrote,

but a woman named Veda Hilly does the music. She's really great. She's great, and the cast is good. And there's little kids at a certain point. There's little, little kids. That are so hilarious.

Who aren't performers. But they just come out like, we're hipsters. We're food. Oh, cute. Yeah, they're good. The York Theater? Yeah, the York Theater. And that's next to Nick Spaghetti House. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, cute. Yeah. What, the York Theater? Yeah, the York Theater. And that's next to Nick Spaghetti House.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's even a Nick Spaghetti House reference in the show. Did, have you gone to Nick Spaghetti House? Not yet, but I will. Oh, so good. I have never been either. Let's go.

Yeah. I'm starving. Oh, man, so good. So you get so full. Yeah, so come check out the Panto, yeah, for sure, if you're in town. It's wild. Bring your kids. Yeah. It's check out the Panto. Yeah, for sure. If you're in town, it's wild. Bring your kids. Yeah.

Great family thing. Go to Nick's Spaghetti House. Go to the Panto. It's a good family thing, but it's also like a good date thing. Yeah. It's kind of for everyone. And yeah, thanks so much for being a guest. Thank you both for having me again. Oh, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. And Kwanzaa. Merry Christmas. When's Hanukkah this year? I don't know when Hanukkah starts this year. When is Hanukkah? Hanukkah. I don't know.

I don't. It happens before Christmas. I know Hanukkah dies in last year's Star Wars. Oh. Now, this year's Star Wars. Yeah. Now this year's Star Wars. Yeah. It's a betweenquel? I don't know.

It's just, it's a prequel to the very first Star Wars. I mean, it's like, yeah, because it takes place before. But after the prequel?

But after the prequel. But it doesn't offset the numbering. No, because it's during these standalone movies. So there's just going to be like a Chewbacca where he goes to college? Yes.

The Rise of Chewbacca? Ben Wilder, The Rise of Chewbacca? That's him throwing up. Chewbacca, The Naked Mile? Then there'll be a Jabba the Hutt. That was off the air. That was off air, yeah. Graham said Jabba the Hutt instead of Jabba the Hutt. Yeah, yeah the air. That was off air, yeah. Graham said Jabba the Hutt instead of Jabba the Hutt.

Yeah, yeah. It's like there was many Hutts. There must be though, right? Yeah, a planet of Hutts. There's crazy Hutts. There's other Wookiees, aren't there? Yeah, yeah. Low Baca.

Scott Bacula. Brad Baca. Scott Bacula. If you like the show, head over to MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recap. Pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. Yeah, maybe one of those green ants. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I have a video of me doing it. Nah. That's the guy who puts it together. Not in the video. What else did we talk about? Boy, oh boy. I'll put up a picture of the present I got you.

Yeah. Lobaka. Oh, yeah. I've got to get a picture of this nut and lobster cracker I got for Christmas. It's not just throw up. It may as well just say like nut, lobster, and finger. Like whatever else you want to break with this. Yeah, pervert.

Yeah. Yeah, pervert Yeah Yeah pervert And if You want to see us live We're performing We're performing at The Just for Laughs Northwest Comedy Festival

That's February 23rd Here in Vancouver Yep Before that We'll be in Chicago As part of the Very very fun day Podcast day

Yeah Go to Wrigley Field In the middle of winter check it out and no it's inside oh it's gonna be inside yeah yeah that's on february 11th and then in march we are in banff alberta which people say as though there's an m in there bamf bamf yeah you're right people like they're a badass motherfucker and And thank you so much for listening. Have a happy holiday. A holly jolly Christmas. Oh, whoop-de-doo.

And hickory dock. If you like the show, tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Last one of 2016. And don't forget to hang up your sock.