Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 46 - Alicia Tobin

Episode Date: January 20, 2009

Comedian Alicia Tobin joins us for a gigglefest in which we talk about more extraordinary blokes, we eat Graham Bumpers, and we play that WebMD game. Enough with the Johnny Dakota callbacks....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hi everybody and welcome to episode number 46 here of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me is a man that Red Bull said was too dangerous to be a spokesman for their product, Dave Shumka. Yeah, I exploded at last year's fluke talk. Is that a thing? You did, you blew up's fluke talk is that a thing you did you blew up the fluke talk
Starting point is 00:00:46 and uh joining us here for her second time here on the podcast uh one of a very select group miss alicia tobin comedian and oh i yeah sorry i shouldn't have cut you off comedian and uh fashionista fashionista yeah you're a fashionista. A little bit. Yeah, welcome to the show. Thank you. Thanks for having me again. It's a pleasure.
Starting point is 00:01:11 It's an honor. The beer is delicious. Grandpa's here. You were a last-minute fill-in, and we appreciate your stick-to-itiveness. Yes, thank you. I'm known for that. All right, shall we get to know us? Stick-to-itiveness? Yes. Thank you. I'm known for that.
Starting point is 00:01:25 All right. Shall we get to know us? Get to know us. Well, we always like to start with the guest. Always. Alicia, what's new? What's shaking? Just in general.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Just in general. What was something awesome that happened recently? I'm really into baking. So that's what I do when I'm not not doing shows or working i like to bake i'm really into whole food cooking so i'm creating whole food cooking like where you don't use whole foods yeah and you pick something up and then you put it in the microwave um you know you cook with foods that haven't been refined okay so you wouldn't use refined sugar or flours. Unrefined.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Unrefined. Yeah. Yeah. When did it become about class? That's it. It's been really gross weather here in Vancouver. I think the last week or so has been actually really nice. Usually when the snow melts, it melts in the rain, and it's still melting,
Starting point is 00:02:26 but it hasn't been rainy. It's been actually a nice way for the snow to go away. It's been like that movie that missed the last couple days. Well, no, just because you can't see the beauty doesn't make you a jerk. It just, uh, it means you're... This comes from someone who drives a car
Starting point is 00:02:42 everywhere, though, right? Not everywhere. Not to walk the dog. Yeah, he doesn't drive along and let Grandpa walk alongside like Rocky. Or like in Family Vacation. Oh, yeah, right. It was just Vacation. Where they had the dog on the bumper. Oh, I don't remember that.
Starting point is 00:02:58 You don't remember that? It's best you don't. Perhaps that's a... It was on TV this week. What, Vacation? Yeah. a classic with christy brinkley yeah yeah you know i was talking to somebody and like this is weird because it made me feel like old except that that movie wasn't from it's not from my time it was pre my time but it's one i've seen because it's hilarious but i was talking to somebody who's never seen vacation and like i brought it up and and they were like what's vacation really yeah
Starting point is 00:03:30 it was really because i was like it's not something where it made me feel old because it was something for my youth and i was like had they never seen christmas vacation none of the i'm very i'm not so familiar with vacation but but I'm very familiar with both Christmas and European vacation. Vegas. Oh. Not Vegas vacation? Vegas vacation. Wasn't there a poster for it in Laugh Lines?
Starting point is 00:03:54 Yes. When you say was a poster, you mean still is a poster? Yeah. And also Liar Liar. Yeah. And I noticed that both Chevy Chase and Jim Carrey are both in the same spread eagle pose in both of them. Oh, yeah, that's right. Because, yeah, Liar Liar's...
Starting point is 00:04:11 That was a good movie. It's like our generation's Yes Man. That's right. That's the grounds on which I can communicate with the younger generation. How does it relate to Yes Man? So tell us more about this baking. I like to bake. You brought over some cookies. I did.
Starting point is 00:04:25 They were oatmeal hemp. Good for you. Loaded with protein. I hope I don't have any urine tests. No kidding. You'll get busted. For oatmeal. But I want to talk about movie posters. Last night on the street there were these old
Starting point is 00:04:41 thrown out movie posters from the 80s or 90s movies that I'd never seen before. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Where were they thrown out? Near Happy Bats. Okay. Yeah, we were coming back from the Dan Quinn show.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Happy Bats is a movie theater. Or a movie rental place. Yeah. We walked back from Dan Quinn Snowden Comedy Show, which was at a movie theater. And it was good. It was a couple British comics, and then local comedian Dan Quinn put this show together, and it was good. And then, yeah, we were walking back.
Starting point is 00:05:09 I completely forgot about that. I was hoping there was a Harry and the Hendersons poster, because I had one of those, and I really liked it when I was 12. Where he was sitting in the back seat, and his head was poking out of the station wagon? Well, I can't remember what they were. One of them was a movie.
Starting point is 00:05:23 It was really old. It had Melanie Griffith in it? Oh, it was by the director of Kids. I was a movie like it was really old it had melanie griffith in it oh it was uh by the director of kids i can't remember yeah harmony corrine is that how you pronounce it uh but yeah that was the only credit on the poster was from the director of kids uh featuring melanie it was the bonnie and c Clyde of the 90s. That's what it said, yeah. The Bonnie and Clyde of the 90s. I remember... What were the other ones? Honest to God, I can't remember.
Starting point is 00:05:52 There were movies no one had ever seen. But there couldn't have been movie posters from Happy Bats because these movies predate Happy Bats' existence. I think it's somebody's art that they had in their house. You know, people don't really have anything up on the wall wall so they just get movie posters from their local movie store when you're in your 16s and 17s when we when i was in flags on the windows and such when i was in university i went to a um a private school for girls no i went i went to a video rental place, and they had all these movie posters, and Abby picked one up, and she's like, oh, I think I'm going to get this one. And it was Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas.
Starting point is 00:06:35 And I was like, what? Why? And then she said, oh, because it's Viva Las Vegas. And I unrolled it for her and said, no, it's Viva Rock Vegas. But not that Viva Las Vegas. And I unrolled it for her and said, no, it's Viva Rock Vegas. But not that Viva Las Vegas is any better. Who? Viva Las Vegas. Is that the one with Ashton Kutcher? No, it's Elvis.
Starting point is 00:06:52 Oh, right. That's what she thought it was. And what stays in Vegas. That's the Kushter. Right. Kushter? I saw it on a plane. It's the Kutcher Diaz vehicle.
Starting point is 00:07:01 The Kutcher Diaz project. What was the one? Who was in the viva rock vegas it wasn't rick moranis or john goodman oh i don't know it was steven baldwin oh that's right and like but i don't it wasn't the fact wasn't fred the guy he's like a british guy and he was on a show it's like where he doesn't have a British accent, but he kind of looks like Fred Flintstone. House. Yeah, House. That's it. Yeah, it was Hugh Laurie and Stephen Baldwin.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Are you looking it up right now? It was 2000. Flintstone's in Viva Rock Vegas starring Mark Addy as Fred Flintstone. Who's that? I have no idea. Addy. Kristen Johnson played Wilma, and Jane Krakowski plays Betty.
Starting point is 00:07:51 And, of course. Who's Mark Addy? I don't know. Is he from a sitcom called Still Together, I think is the name of the show. I'm clicking on another thing. Still Together, or Still Happening, or Joined at the Ring, or still happening or joined at the ring.
Starting point is 00:08:07 This is taking a long time. It is. I'm running out of possible hilarious sitcom names. These are all good names. Not splitting up. What else have you baked lately? Let me see. I've made some mark addy's uh his picture on imdb is as fred
Starting point is 00:08:30 flinstone was it still standing still standing the original still standing i've never even heard of that wait it's not british is it no no it's american he's british British. Right. But he's a very... He's one of the inheritors of the throne of American sitcoms where there's a fat man married to a gorgeous woman. That's how it is in real life. Is it? No, never. Really?
Starting point is 00:08:58 No. They make you go to the gym and stuff. Who is Newman from Seinfeld married to? In real life? Yeah. That's real life though courtney thorne smith scandalous um all right graham uh what's been going on with you i found these movie posters last night and um i went to the taboo sex show on friday as you do as i do because i'm a freak um the weird thing this is the weird thing what is what is it uh it's like a like a trade show
Starting point is 00:09:35 for like basically for sex toys they're just a lot of those like dispensers for the antibacterial gel like everywhere like next to every no i mean there's the thing is is that on the poster like from the poster of it you would think that you're gonna go in and there's live sex happening everywhere and it's this crazy like uh you know decadent like when john bueller and i went to the car show yeah exactly but this was it's it's you know it's selling, you're selling, like, sex toy products. But then also there were other booths that kind of were, like, peripherally related. Like, you know, a booth that sells, like, really soft organic towels. And I'm like, okay, kind of.
Starting point is 00:10:19 But then, like, Zipcar had, like, a booth. And they didn't even bother to try and, like, sexy up Zipcar. Like, it was just Zipcar. Or there was another. There was Zipcar, and then there was something else. And I'm trying to think of what it was. Oh, it was an accountant. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:36 H&R Cock. Quick. What about H&R Cockblock, right? Nice. That's not bad. Yeah. Sounds like a sketch we can pitch to Mad TV. That show's been cancelled.
Starting point is 00:10:51 Did you hear? I know. What are we going to do on Friday nights? Was it Friday? I think it was Saturday. I was just asking in general, what are we going to do on Friday nights? I'm going to a sex show. Have you been to the sex show before? Years ago I performed
Starting point is 00:11:06 stand-up comedy. Okay, not a sex act. I performed a random sex act outside of the sex show. It wasn't even The thing too there was like Did they have rides? Yeah, see there was
Starting point is 00:11:23 nothing fun like that. Like, there was no rides. Like, there was a thing, like, I guess somebody could whip your butt if you were into letting other people see you get your butt whipped. Yeah. But would you pull your pants down? Were people pulling their pants down? Oh, gross. Yeah, there was, like, a really...
Starting point is 00:11:39 People were pulling their pants down. No, there was a lady there. She was wearing her underwear, but she was, like... The thing is, is it's... Was anybody wearing that corset that doesn't have, no, there was a lady there. She was wearing her underwear, but she was like... The thing is, the people trying to sell you... that doesn't have any bra part and it's just boobs that hang out? Yeah, there was an old lady, say, maybe 55, 60.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Ew. Ancient. Yeah. Well, no, okay. Ancient enough that her boobs shouldn't be hanging out in public. They look more like hands.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Yeah. She... They've got fingers. You know, they're kind of floppy. Yeah, kind of like an old hand. Like a withered hand. And a mitten. Is that a nipple or a liver spot? But the thing was, have you ever seen one of those shows, like Real Sex or something?
Starting point is 00:12:28 And it's always the people trying to talk you. Yeah, yeah. Late Night. Or Kink. Yeah, right? And the people who are trying to talk you into the weird sex lifestyles. It's always Fat Losers. They're always weird looking.
Starting point is 00:12:42 So it was no different. Yeah, the best, I'm sure. They're always weird looking. So it was no different. Yeah. The best, I'm sure, and I could probably tell you from experience, the best looking people have the most boring sex. Yeah. Your Tyra Banks is, she's the golden standard, right? Oh, yeah. She's in the top one. But, yeah, so it was more of that kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:13:06 She's into a lot of wig play. She wears a lot of wigs. It's true. There was one product that I was actually fairly intrigued by. It was like a heating pad that you just... No, not for your wang or for your butt. It was just you pressed a metal button on it it was like plastic thing it would heat up right away and i thought wow that's super convenient but then i
Starting point is 00:13:31 said like how do you for like your back or for sore muscle or whatever okay but not sex no no no no again like it was another booth it was like like i mean i guess like you're like you know are your balls really cold during sex here's the solution but uh my parents listen to this podcast they don't get the slang that's true what are balls you mean basketballs um but then i read on the the package like there i was like well how do you reuse the how do you reuse this bag and they're like oh well you just have to boil it and like like i was like oh it's way harder than just getting one of those bags you just throw in the microwave for two minutes like i thought oh this is way quicker you just press the thing but then
Starting point is 00:14:15 the re-preparation of it you have to put it in boiling water and heat it up and then you have to freeze it no yeah yeah yeah like it was like... Does the button even work? No, it's brilliant. It's a chemical, right? The button is like an electric charge and it just... If you freeze boiling water, does it stay boiling? No, you go back in time. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Dave, what's going on with you? Tell me about it. Not a lot. My live stand-up comedy show has come to an abrupt conclusion. That was enough. Well, let's talk about the last show. Yeah, I have some things to add. Oh, I was hoping just to make a brief announcement.
Starting point is 00:14:57 But if you guys... Well... I had a very important other thing I wanted to talk about. We don't want to step on that. No, but if you guys want to get your licks in. They made a lemon meringue pie during most of the show. They were whipping meringue all the lifelong night. What about the really hostile woman from the kitchen?
Starting point is 00:15:14 Was she hostile? Yeah, she said, get out. Oh, at the end? Like five times, yeah. Yeah. She did say, get out. Well, and the show's over. So no more shows at Slickety Jams.
Starting point is 00:15:24 But she said it like Harrison Ford in... Get off my plane? Yeah, get off. And the show's over. So no more shows at Slickety Jams. But she said it like Harrison Ford in Get Off My Plane. Like he said in that movie, Get Off My Plane. No, I think it was What Happens in Vegas. What was your other thing? I was watching Saved by the Bell yesterday. And do you remember the episode where they did the drug PSA? No. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:15:47 And Brandon Tartikoff comes in at the end? Yeah. After Johnny Dakota, the big movie star, had come in. Yes. I saw this as a young man. And I guess I always knew Saved by the Bell wasn't great. But I still enjoyed it. Oh, we all did.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Yeah. But I never... I never watched it. Oh, we all did. Yeah, but I never... Alicia? I never watched it. It was after my time. I never thought about... I don't feel like it was in my time. I feel like even though I was watching the episodes as they came out,
Starting point is 00:16:17 I felt like they were five years old. No, my brothers and I, we watched it actively to make fun of it. It was never a thing where I look back on it and say, oh, it was ridiculous. It was ridiculous at the time. Anyway, this episode, Johnny Dakota, big movie star, comes to Bayside to shoot a PSA that's anti-drugs. Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:41 And later we find out he's a drug user. But he's not a heavy drug user no pot he smokes the pot yeah as all celebrities do oh and he also shot heroin into his penis because all his other veins were but my big problem with this is that he is apparently this big famous movie star and yet he comes to the school for location scouting. He comes for three days to hang out with the students.
Starting point is 00:17:11 He dates Kelly Kapowski. Yeah, he does. They break up because of his drug use. As they should. Lame. The best part is Johnny Dakota. He's out. They busted him.
Starting point is 00:17:26 No more PSA for him. But Mr. Belding's got a connection at NBC, and it's like the head of programming at NBC. It's the chairman, Brandon Tartikoff. Brandon Tartikoff. Who's now not with us anymore. Oh, is he? He's passed.
Starting point is 00:17:41 Ironically, from crystal meth abuse. He comes into the shot. He's passed. Ironically, from crystal meth abuse. He comes into the shot. They're all sitting at a table or something. And he comes in and he goes, I've got a great idea for the fall season. Don't do drugs. Like all the kids at home are like, it's Brandon Tartikoff. Yeah, if you're the head of NBC, maybe get one of your stars. Get Ted Danson to come in.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Get Rhea Perlman. Richard Maul. Hey, I'm Brandon Tartikoff. The Brandon Tartikoff. Oh, Saved by the Bell. We could do that all day. No, but we won't. Anything else? Oh, from last week, I. We could do that all day. No, but we won't. Anything else?
Starting point is 00:18:26 Oh, from last week, I went and saw The Wrestler. Have you seen it? Have you ever seen a one-legged dog? I still haven't seen a one-legged dog. There isn't one in the movie. My dog is choking on something outside. Would you want to let him in? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:44 I'm worried. He's fine. He's fine. My dog is choking on something outside. Would you want to let him in? Yeah. Do you want to take... I'm worried. He's fine. He's fine. It's a... It sounded like somebody's... You okay, buddy? All right.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Yeah, I went and saw The Wrestler and... And you both went. Yes. And it was outstanding. Okay. It was great. Marisa Tomei was unbelievably good. And unbelievably topless for like the entire
Starting point is 00:19:07 film so oh the entire film yeah pretty much even when she was at the vintage store shopping to help him find a gift she was wearing one of those yeah boosties with no boot yeah and she had big fake eyelashes there's only two scenes in the movie where she's wearing a top i didn't notice what does she do is she a stripper yeah okay no now uh have you ever you are you familiar with the website mr skin yes it's the website that uh it will tell you what actresses have been nude but it's actors as well and sure i do know about that website. In what movie? And it'll tell you the precise minute.
Starting point is 00:19:48 And a guy from Mr. Skin comes on 99.3 The Fox radio every week, I believe, and tells you, like, whatever movie's coming out, he'll tell you who's in it and what they've been naked in in a different movie.
Starting point is 00:20:02 And for anybody who doesn't live in Vancouver, the Fox is the station that does the prototypical A. It's your modern rock station. Yeah. You're listening to the best of Theory of a Dead Man. That's 99.3 The Fox. Am I right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:17 Okay. And they do a, the guy always comes up with a pun. Right. So it's like, this Golden Globe winner shows her Golden Globes at 46 minutes. He uses that every week. Yeah. He's like, this Oscar winner shows his Golden Globes. So as soon as you told me about Marissa Tomei, I immediately thought, she shows her Marissa Tomatoes.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Pretty good. It's pretty good. I mean, it's good enough. So you're basically able to do that guy's job. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:20:54 So if anyone from the Fox is listening, I've got a selection of puns, and I know what boobies are. And I know what boobies are. And I'm on the fence right now, but tonight at the theater downtown, Groundfall 7, they're playing Ghostbusters on the big screen. I'm thinking about going, but also I've seen Ghostbusters like a hundred times.
Starting point is 00:21:19 So I don't know if I feel right paying to see it. All right. What do you think? What's your read on that? Do you think that's a bit of nonsense? I've never seen it in the theater, though. I've never seen it in the theater. Are you afraid of ghosts? Well, I'm not going to say I'm not afraid of no ghosts.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Right. How does Bustin' make you feel? Pretty good. I want to think it's settled. Yeah? Yeah. In? In for a penny, in for a...
Starting point is 00:21:44 Farthing. Thank you. Alright, want to move on to some overheards? Yeah? In? In for a penny, in for a... Farthing. Alright, want to move on to some Overheard? Overheard! Play the theme. Yeah, we did. Oh, that's my new character I'm working on. It's a guy who doesn't hear things and then says the thing that just happened. It's like Mr. Magood, but audio-based.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Magood? What did I say? You said Magood. No, see, that's exactly what it works. What it works? See? That's my character. You're saying it like I'm not in character, but I am.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Are we on right now? No. No, we're on break. We're on break. We can fuck whoever we want. we're on break we're on break we can fuck whoever we want um uh ross and rachel shit up in here now you got now you gots to keep it in because of that hilarious you're not you're not wrong about that um all right overheard who's got him i got him alicia toba's got him in spades. I have three. Are we allowed to...
Starting point is 00:22:45 Yeah, throw one out. Are we allowed to do three? We'll kind of do it in the round. Okay, sure. I've got one and a half. No, I've got one. You guys have to come up with them every week. It's got to be hard.
Starting point is 00:22:55 It's got to be tough. It weighs on me. Yeah, exactly. You're all creepy at cafes, leaning in. These are the crosses we bear. Yeah. So is it my turn for my overheard or what i was on the bus uh the other day the gramble 10 beautiful bus and uh this girl got on and she's
Starting point is 00:23:14 talking really loudly on her cell phone and i thought the bus driver was about to tell her to stop but he's actually just waking up the homeless man that had been on the bus for two hours he's like you've been on the bus for two hours you have's like, you've been on the bus for two hours. You have to get off. She was talking on her cell phone, and she's talking about a guy, and it sounded like she just met him, and she kind of was hoping that she got to see him again. And then she said, I really hope he calls me because we had such a good time sleeping together. On the bus. I really enjoyed the sex.
Starting point is 00:23:42 Sleeping together on the bus? No. She's talking on the bus no she's talking on the bus close quotes on the bus yeah I'm a bad reader that's a great over hurt I was shocked too because it just was so personal
Starting point is 00:23:55 yeah because we had a really good time sleeping together when is it well I guess it can be a bad time if there's anything I learned at the sex show this Saturday Dave do you have a i mine is from television it's uh there's this character named johnny dakota no i was watching on tv they had this concert for obama i believe is the guy's name and uh Obama, I believe is the guy's name. And it's this inauguration that they're doing.
Starting point is 00:24:30 And U2 was playing. They had Garth Brooks. Why does U2 play at everything? Why did Garth Brooks? Same. Wait a second. Wait a minute. That's not a guy who's still doing things, is it?
Starting point is 00:24:41 I don't know. Remember when he was that other artist? Chris Gaines. Chris Gaines. Yes. He was the original Sasha Fierce. things is it i i don't know when he was that other artist chris gaines yes he was the original sasha fierce um but uh yeah i don't know what the only song i saw him do was shout which i don't believe you like twist and shout no as in a little bit louder now really oh wow that's not his song no i so. Well, neither of the songs that we named were his songs. Twist and Shout, The Tears
Starting point is 00:25:08 for Fear song. Shout. Why would he cover that one? Why would he cover any of them? It's all asinine. Does he still wear a white cowboy hat? He was wearing a black cowboy hat. I don't think he's famous for a color of cowboy hat. I think it's always been black.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Oh, no, I'm thinking of that video where the Red Strokes. Remember that video? The Red Strokes. Yeah, it was like a video that was kind of like, yeah, it's what inspired the White Stripes to get together and make music. And the Strokes. The Strokes to get together and do their hair. They didn't really, I guess they did make music.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Beautiful, beautiful music. They still do. They're still together right uh i believe so i still have that t-shirt of theirs yep what year is it 2001 are you wearing graham was once wearing a a stroke shirt in about the year 2005 yeah it was yes and uh local comedian uh jimmy barnes was it was kevin quinlan kevin quinlan comedian sorry quinlan ex-comedian kevin quinlan uh came up to him and said are you wearing that ironically yeah and then i had to wear it the rest of the night it was really bad um oh anyways we really got off yeah i, I'm in the middle. But he gave you plenty of time to smell the microphone. Of a U2 over there.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Okay, U2 Bono was singing, and I just noticed that he was changing the lyrics, but I didn't know the original lyrics, so I had to look them up. So I looked up the lyrics. The name of the song is City of Blinding Lights. I'm not a U2 fan. That's not true, Dave. Is it the one that goes
Starting point is 00:26:53 Is it that one? No. Oh, okay. Guys, please. The original lyrics are neon heart, day glow eyes. a city lit by fireflies. There's advertising in the skies for people like us. Here it comes. The version Bono was singing at the inauguration was,
Starting point is 00:27:19 America, let your road rise under Lincoln's blinkin' eyes they were advertising in the skies for people like you and then he pointed and he went Joe Biden oh wow oh that's great yeah okay
Starting point is 00:27:44 it's like that scene on the Oh, that's great. Yeah, okay. It's like that scene on The Simpsons when Krusty's editing the red hot chili pepper sauce. The lyrics are, what I got, I want to put it in you. Can we change that into, what I want is to hug and kiss you. Wow. I mean, nobody can ever accuse YouTube
Starting point is 00:28:08 of being sellouts because they did it so long ago. Yeah. You'd seem like you were really late to that accusation. But here's the question, and really this is kind of just a general question.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Do you think like, okay, so America definitely made a huge leap in voting for who I think is the right guy for the president. I think that's still up for discussion. His middle name is Hussein. I think that's what a lot of people are overlooking. But I think they did the right thing.
Starting point is 00:28:38 But now I think that they're on the heels of them doing the right thing. They seem to be doing everything out. They're like, okay, well, we'll make sure he's in a spider-man comic we'll make sure we sell a lot of plates with his name on it i went on one website where it was like uh it had a picture of obama and it was very you know like the picture from his campaign and it said you know yes we can and then it flips over and it says and so can you and it was like some kind of like lottery thing. And like these dollar signs come up in Obama's eyes. And I was just like, no.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Yeah, I'm like, he's not, I don't know. Like he's not a cartoon character. Like he's still a living guy. Like he hasn't even been president yet. And they're already, it was literally the Spider-Man Obamaama comic book where i was like okay everybody take a deep breath and not do that ever again do you remember how george bush was in he was famous for that he was in a lot of mad magazines no but he had that outfit the airborne outfit yeah maybe obama's will be a spider-man outfit and he'll just like show up for ratings and spider-man outfit well that's a good idea that's what i would do yeah he swings
Starting point is 00:29:50 onto the stage sure we have american listeners weigh in on this i encourage you here's a thing we now have a phone number a lot of people uh write us email. So if you haven't overheard or anything. Yeah, if you have a comment on the show or just something. If you want your voice heard. Alicia shook her head no. You don't give us comments on the show. Yeah. What contributions?
Starting point is 00:30:18 We now have a number. It is 206-339-8328. And it spells 206-339-8328. And it spells 206-339-TEET. All right. Yeah, so any overheards or, you know, what is that area code? Is it Portland? It's Seattle. It's Seattle.
Starting point is 00:30:41 So if you're in Seattle, it's a local call. Otherwise, you're... Call after five with your special long distance package. Yeah, and keep it short so you don't have to pay so much. Yeah, geez louise. What about your overheard? I have an overheard. On the last program, I was talking about an overheard that I had at the airport.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Yeah, aeropuerto. At the aeropuerte. And I was talking about an overheard that I had at the airport. Yeah, aeropuerto. At the aeropuerte. And I was... There was a lot of people. There was delayed flights. There was a lot of people. It smelled really bad in the departures area. Why?
Starting point is 00:31:15 Because of people not bathing for days. They were going to be on an airplane in closed quarters? Yep. No, but there were people there that had been there for like 48 hours. They just went there to watch the television show for 48 hours. They could have sponged off in the sink, though. Yeah, but they didn't newt. They didn't newt.
Starting point is 00:31:33 But there was a lot of people there with dogs, little dogs. And I walked by a lady who was on her cell phone talking to her friend, not from Canada, I don't think, because she had kind of a very kind of Southern American accent. And she said, I can't do the accent, but she said,
Starting point is 00:31:52 Oh, I wish you would. There are dogs in here. What country am I in? Which I thought was pretty funny, because what other country would people be? So I've never been to any other country or really any other province where people have been traveling with their pets with quite such abandon. Now, the Overhood wasn't great, but I think it's a great springboard into other conversation. Abby wants to gramp back to Switzerland with her.
Starting point is 00:32:21 And in Europe, you can bring dogs on trains, even larger dogs. You can bring them into stores. You can bring them into restaurants. Is that progressive? No, it's they bathe in urine. Oh, yeah. What was one of the overheards from last night at the Dan Quinn show? There was one about an alcoholic. Oh, yeah. I left the show to use the ladies room and there are two night at the dan quinn show there was one about an alcoholic oh yeah that was uh i was um i left the show to use the ladies room and there are two girls arguing and one was saying to another uh either you're an alcoholic or you're allergic to alcohol but either way you're an alcoholic
Starting point is 00:32:57 and then in the bathroom this woman came in and she said, ow, and I called out from the stall. I said, are you okay? She said, I just got my tit stuck in the door. And she pointed it out to me later, and it would be no small feat for her to get her tit stuck in the door. And I was like, oh, well, sure. And she's like, but I didn't breastfeed them. I don't know how this happened. Well, you should probably be at home with them right now.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Oh, also, local comedian JP Mass was at said show, and his father was also there. His father's a great... He's just a wonderful character. And we were standing in line. I think he wanted to buy a chocolate bar?
Starting point is 00:33:39 He was standing on the wrong side of the line. He was standing on the wrong side, so he was like, oh, I couldn't see the chocolate bar, so I bought myself a wiener sandwich. It was a hot dog. Or as we call it, a hot dog. Sounds like something you would have seen at the sex show. I hate when people don't line up properly. I can't stand it.
Starting point is 00:34:04 Oh, really? Yeah yeah i was waiting for bank machines the other day and stressful people decided oh it's two lines well i think it happened actually when we were at the wrestler or miffy revolutionary road where we were standing in a line and then the line just evaporated have you ever had that where you're standing in line and then all of a sudden you're the only person standing in the line? And there's no cashier. Yeah, like everybody's decided that your line is bunk. Just like, ah, screw this guy's line.
Starting point is 00:34:32 And then they started their own. And then, yeah, I was done. That happened to me at the tea shop yesterday on Granville Island where Charlie Demers used to work. I was standing in line patiently and then this couple that was making out kind of just pushed me over and then made out in front of me while they're waiting for tea i think if you've got someone to make out with you don't need a cup of tea you think that's keeping you warm enough inside what i have you mean there's this thing that i use that uh you just push a button it
Starting point is 00:34:59 gets warm right away do we have some listener overheards? Yeah, absolutely. This comes from Colin S. I don't want to say anybody's last name. Protect their identity. Colin Smith. Colin Smith. This is something I overheard while on a ski vacation with my family last month.
Starting point is 00:35:26 The mountain that we're at is a very family-friendly resort. This is why we want people to call in instead of us reading it. Because, listen, I'm like a mumble face over here. I can't get through this. You're like Johnny Dakota. I am like Johnny Dakota after an all-night crack special K binge. I'm stopped about halfway down the hill at a point where a bunch of runs merge, and people generally stand and wait there for people to catch up.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Next to me is a man in his late 30s, early 40s, standing with his daughter, who is about 6 or 7. No less than 5 feet away from them is another little girl about the same age who started to cry. I didn't notice whether or not she had any family around her, so she could have been lost or something. Keep in mind, it was extremely shitty day outside, negative 14 degrees Celsius, hard-biting wind, snow, and bits of ice hitting you in the face. It felt a bit like crying too. Anyway, the daughter turns to her father and asks, Dad, why is the girl crying? And without hesitation, he responds coldly, because she's a crybaby.
Starting point is 00:36:28 That's why. Wah, wah, wah. Now, do you want to be tough like a skier, or do you want to be a crybaby? I like that. You know why? Because you know that that actually happened. Yeah, I like that because, in that guy's mind, the toughest thing possible
Starting point is 00:36:44 is a skier. Alicia finds none of it. No, Alicia has checked out. It reminded me of a time when I was skiing and there was a little girl that was lost. And one of my friends said, are you lost? Have you lost your mommy? And she said, yes. And then he said, your mommy's gone and she's never coming back.
Starting point is 00:37:09 That's what I was thinking of. I was like's i hope someone says that because it's really good they get really scared oh so harsh a lot of skiing is just pretending not to be miserable i think i yeah i've never thought it was fun that was uh it was something that i was dragged into many times and uh glad that i'm past that phase now. We have a listener who called in an overheard. Let's let her sock it to us the old-fashioned way. Hey, guys. My name is Alex. I love your show.
Starting point is 00:37:39 I'm from California. I have a couple of overheards. I was in Chicago the last couple of days, and they were pretty funny. At one point, my best friend and I were walking down Navy Pier, and they started playing that song by The Fray over my head, and this big black guy just walks by and says, I love this song, this is my jam, and starts rapping to it.
Starting point is 00:38:06 And I'm just trying really hard not to laugh my ass off. So the guy just heard the song and then he had an automatic remix. Right. Wow. And that's something that I do quite often. Whenever a movie ends,
Starting point is 00:38:24 I start rapping over the closing credits. Yeah, because... About the movie. About the movie, yeah. You do that. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's embarrassing. Have you ever seen a one-legged dog? Here we go.
Starting point is 00:38:37 That's what a lot of people don't know, that The Wrestler is about a one-legged dog named The Wrestler. Yeah. Well, thanks for that alex um and uh you can send in your overheards to us at stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com that she sent in an mp3 you can also call 206-339-TEAT and now it's teat t-e-e-t t-e-a-T? T-E-A-T. Like your teet. Oh, yeah. That gets stuck in a door. Yeah. Like your teets that get stuck in the door. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Like your swinging fun bags. Oh, my goodness. They look like hands. Where do we want to go next? What crazy wilderness have we yet to explore on said podcast? We wanted to talk about the league of extraordinary gentlemen uh it's called the league of extraordinary blokes pardon me sorry i'm so used to uh my graphic novels so last week if you didn't hear the podcast go and download it right now listen
Starting point is 00:39:41 to it we'll wait yeah. Yeah. Welcome back. So you know that last week we did, we started something we call the League of Extraordinary Blokes, which are a group of men we feel exemplified the... Just awesomeness. The core qualities of blokiness. Yeah. We had Jason Statham. He's kind of the head.
Starting point is 00:40:05 We had Vinnie Jones. I disagree with that one. That's fine. We had Ice-T. We had Ice Cube. I believe we had Mr. T. Yeah, I didn't like Ice-T either. Is there a voting off process?
Starting point is 00:40:19 Yeah, it's an ever-evolving list, certainly. Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Bruce Willis, and Ian McShane. Yeah, we, I think, are all unanimous. It was Toby Hargraves who suggested Ice-T. I think we all want to suggest Ice-T be removed from said list. Although his wife is the kind of lady who will show off her ass. Have you seen pictures of Ice-T's wife?
Starting point is 00:40:49 Yeah, I've seen their reality show. What? Maybe it was a reality show, but it seemed like a reality show. It was just a snippet of their life, but it felt like an eternity. It's like Dog Bounty Hunter, hip-hop style. I consider Dog the Bounty Hunter to be pretty hip-hop.
Starting point is 00:41:08 He uses the N-word. Yeah. So Vinnie Jones... I think he's pretty much quintessential. Yeah. And he's not much of a gent, though. He's not refined it even a little bit. This isn't about refinement. These aren't gentlemen. They're blokes. I misunderstood. So much of a gent, though. He's not refined it even a little bit. This isn't about refinement.
Starting point is 00:41:25 These aren't gentlemen. They're blokes. I misunderstood. So then Slash can get on. Hold it. Hold it up. So you want to nominate Slash? I'm thinking about it.
Starting point is 00:41:37 I'm only allowed one nomination? No, no, no. This is discussion time. Yeah, this is wide open. Tell us what about Slash puts him on par with the gentlemen in the League of Extraordinary Blokes. Or the blokes in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I need to think about it for a while. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Well, we got a lot of listener nominations. Phil Collins. Phil Collins. This was not submitted. But maybe Peter Gabriel. One of the people that was submitted that Dave and I both agreed very heartily on was Bob Hoskins. Yeah. As being somebody who would be included.
Starting point is 00:42:18 I don't think I understand the criteria. At least it looked like she was about to vomit when I said Bob Hoskins, which I don't understand why. He looks like the penguin from Batman. And? Yes. With the black stuff coming out of his mouth. What are you talking about? You know. The penguin. Yeah, so I think that Bob Hoskins
Starting point is 00:42:36 is kind of a rough and tumble and yet stout. Yeah, and he's good with a one-liner. Maybe he's got a street smartness yeah who's that comic with the cigarette that's like andrew dice clay is he gonna count no no well i don't understand have you seen that photo of andrew dice clay where he looks like an old lady yeah with the giant glasses i like how we're finishing each other's sentences so good um so i i blokiness is it's a hard to define quality you're tough you gotta be tough
Starting point is 00:43:12 i don't understand why vin diesel wasn't allowed on this list he seems he's a pretty boy is that right is he really is he not not i hadn't thought of him that way. You would put Vin Diesel, like, you know what? If you feel Vin Diesel and you feel Vin Diesel, I'm totally willing to let Vin Diesel be a part of the League of Extraordinary Blokes. It seems baldness might be a criteria. Looking at the, well, Ian McShane's not bald. No. But you're right.
Starting point is 00:43:40 In general, these gentlemen are bald or balding. So, fine. And Bob Hoskins. Yeah. And Bob Hoskins. Yeah, and Bob Hoskins. Last week we talked about maybe adding a woman, if women could possibly be on this list. We certainly think that they can. Yeah. Like Ellen?
Starting point is 00:43:57 No, that ain't right. Because she wears pants? She's kind of bogus. Like Portia de Rossi? Someone suggested, wrote in and suggested Grace Jones. Yeah, but I don't really, like aside from the time that we talked about Grace Jones on the show. You still don't know who she is? Well, not really.
Starting point is 00:44:21 What about that gal from The Terminator, Hamilton? Ooh, Linda Hamilton. Maybe. i don't see why not she's she exemplifies a lot of the blokey qualities we seem to be after okay save for what about joe from facts of life no these this is an elite list yeah that's why i've been giving you that with your hair i've've been giving this a lot of thought. If you know what I mean. And the extraordinariest bloke woman I could come up with. A bloke one?
Starting point is 00:44:57 Pink. Oh, totally. Ellen meets Hamilton. I second your nomination of Pink into the League of Extraordinary Books. Totally. Yeah. Ellen meets Hamilton. Linda Hamilton, yeah. Yeah. I second your nomination of pink into the League of Extraordinary Books. How about Really Fit Oprah? No.
Starting point is 00:45:12 No, no. But I do like the Linda Hamilton. Can we say her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She fought a Terminator. She fought a robot. Oprah has a taste for the finer things. Her favorite things.
Starting point is 00:45:26 The Extraordinary Gentlemen eat glass finer things. Her favorite things. The Extraordinary Gentleman. Eat glass. Okay, okay. So Jaws. The guy that played Jaws in James Bond. They don't literally eat glass. Oh, never mind. I had that one.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Any other? Oh, there was another one. Actually, I think it was you who said it early on. Who? Daniel Craig. Pretty boy. Vin Diesel's a pretty boy. Daniel Craig's a pretty boy. I said Eric Bana, too, though, and I got shot down.
Starting point is 00:45:51 Yep. Anyone else from Munich? The French guy that makes bombs. He's also an anomaly. John Reno? What about him? Jean Reno. Someone suggested Jean Reno.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Yeah. Jean Reno would be perfect for the League of Extraordinary Blokes. What about Jean-Marc Barr? I don't know who that is. He's in the big blue with Jean Reno. Okay, no. You don't know who he is. Anyone else from Just Visiting?
Starting point is 00:46:29 is anyone else from just visiting um that's the one where the medieval guys come into the new york present day indeed it is it's jungle to jungle for the french the only problem with that is how do they go through time and to new york because they weren't french warriors in the new york of the past, right? You know, I didn't see it. Because I've seen parts of it. There's a part where he goes to a hot dog stand. Hilarious. He doesn't know how to work the mustard.
Starting point is 00:46:55 How's the wiener sandwich? I tried to call back. No, it worked. It's pretty good. You gotta dip your toes in every once in a while. Alright. I'm not re-photoshopping this. No, no, no. But it is nice to just add to the list.
Starting point is 00:47:14 Well, I want it to be a strong list. Kind of like the Justice League, but better. Probably smellier, I'm guessing. And more choreographed fighting. Then I re-nomin more choreographed fighting. Then I read Nominate Slash. Based on what criteria? Well, he's a ladies' man.
Starting point is 00:47:32 That's true. But he's really rough and tumble. He's rough and tumble. He might live on the street. You don't know. He probably doesn't. He's got a lot of hair, though. Yep.
Starting point is 00:47:45 But that's sort of, yeah. He's shirtless. He is shirtless, which I think is, that does put him up a notch. And he's wearing leather pants a lot of the time, which is also pretty blokey of him. And he was in Velvet Revolver, who played the theme song from The Hulk, which starred Eric Bana, who is not in the league. So put it together, kids. Who starred in Footloose with Kevin Bacon. So we're going to say yes for Slash?
Starting point is 00:48:20 No, Dave's a no. I don't know. I don't think he fits perfectly, but maybe he... Honorary member? Maybe he can just hang out and noodle on his guitar with me. You know what? People send in your... Yeah, let's put Slash up for debate.
Starting point is 00:48:35 Yeah, if you think Slash is somebody that exemplifies the qualities of a bloke, send in your support. Or if you feel that he does not have any place in this league. Well, I've noticed everyone with the exception of Jason as somebody I would avoid in a sexual way. And I would avoid slash. All right.
Starting point is 00:48:54 Oh, well, so that's an interesting way of putting him. I mean, in a few years, I'll avoid Jason too. Right. What about ice tea?
Starting point is 00:49:03 Well, if I get to wear, um, cause he's out of the if I get to wear that big suit from that big album of his. He was also in Surviving the Game. Surviving the Game with Gary Busey. Chris Maloney.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Was that somebody's idea? He's kind of blokey. From Law and Order. Did you hear about your identical side double nope uh what's her name from law and order oh mariska hargitay yeah she had a collapsed lung yeah our second time with you yeah our thoughts are with the marissa hargitay dave's exact side double apparently i'm a profile doppelganger of hers. Did you find that on a Facebook program? Nope. According to
Starting point is 00:49:46 someone who wrote or called in. Said that from the side he looks exactly the same as Marissa Hargitay. Mariska Hargitay. So you're half Wonder Woman, half Mr. Universe. She's Jane Mansfield's daughter. Really?
Starting point is 00:50:01 So you've got a little Jane Mansfield to you. A little bit. From here to here. Why don't you come over and see me? No, that's not Jane Mansfield, is it? I don't know. Alright, moving on. What do you want to do now? Okay. I'm not going to lie to you, Dave. I want to eat some Graham Bumpers.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Okay, let's eat some Graham Bumpers. We'll pause. My brother was kind enough to send up a package of Graham Bumpers cereal. We're going to eat them. I don't think I like the sound of chewing on mic, but... No, but I do want to experience them. All right, we'll try to compress this eating segment into a very short, non-chewy thing. Correct! I just realized, if people don't know what we're talking about...
Starting point is 00:50:48 Oh, there is a good chance they don't. We refer to our listeners as bumpers because of some episode one confusion. And someone brought this cereal, Graham Bumpers. Graham is your name. That is my name. My maiden name. We thought, oh, hey, hey that's weird and then my brother purchased them and now we're eating them for the purposes of deliciousness so we've uh paused for
Starting point is 00:51:14 a brief second we got we got uh our graham bumpers we had a photo shoot we had a photo shoot with the graham bumpers we took a wh Yeah, it smelled great. Just like a sommelier would. I swished it around in my mouth. I spat it back out. We're about to taste it. I'm ready. They're sweet. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:40 What does the aftertaste like, though? Is it like Cheerios? Or Shreddies? No, it's not like Shreddies. They smell grahamier than they taste. Mm-hmm. Mm. They're good, though.
Starting point is 00:51:57 But the aftertaste is something very familiar, no? Anyways, cereal. Also, they taste like Krispies? The Graham Bumpers cereal does have a great maze on the back. to something very familiar, no? Anyways, cereal. The Graham Bumper's cereal does have a great maze on the back. Not corn. Nope. Have you ever been in a corn maze? No.
Starting point is 00:52:19 But the comic, this is the second Kevin Quinlan reference of the podcast. Remember, he used to talk about, he used to work at a corn maze. I visited the one he worked at. It was in Langley, BC? It was in Victoria. It was in Victoria, BC. And it's a corn maze.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Or, as the Indians would call it, a maze maze. Yeah, we called it the amazing maze maze when we went. Pretty good. Yeah. pretty good yeah alicia by the way couldn't eat any because she uh has an aversion to wheat yeah i'm really jealous actually i can't be around food and not have any i feel like i'm gonna pass out with rage you know what they taste like golden grams that's what the aftertaste tastes like are they the new Golden Grahams? Like they used to, the same company made them and this is new? No, this is made by a company called Mothers. I'm sure they're just imitation Golden Grahams.
Starting point is 00:53:14 They have a couple other bumper flavors. Oh, okay. So I'm sure if they had, I don't know what other kind they had, but if they had cinnamon bumpers, I'm sure they're just Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Okay. Remember the characters from Cinnamon Toast yeah uh were they chefs yeah they were chefs and i think their names were cinnamon toast and crunch no yeah yes that's terrible oh i didn't say it was a great thing it was just that's what they were they were old white man chefs they weren't they weren't like young women who were three they were. They were old white man chefs. They weren't young women who should be named Cinnamon.
Starting point is 00:53:47 They were three Gordon Ramseys. Sure. Is he in the league? Gordon Ramsey? Yeah. I don't know. He's pretty blokey. He's a big sex symbol in the UK, right?
Starting point is 00:53:58 He is a huge sex symbol in the UK. You were mentioning, we thought last week that Jason Statham was a former soccer player, You were mentioning, we thought last week that Jason Statham was a former soccer player, but he was a former diver, and he was once ranked number seven in the world in diving. Wow. Until he got the bends. That kind of diving? No.
Starting point is 00:54:17 No. Oh, I fell for it. Take some, guys. Damn you. So often often too. The one thing I wanted to do, Graham had an idea for this segment about your dad. Yeah, yeah. My dad when he watches movies,
Starting point is 00:54:33 this doesn't always happen, but when it happens, it's great. If you ask him, hey, did you like such and such a movie? And he gives you his entire movie review is usually one sentence long and then he tells you whether or not he likes it at the end. So, to wit, my favorite one ever was for K-Pax, the movie starring Kevin Spacey
Starting point is 00:54:55 and the guy from Big Lebowski. Jeff Daniels. Jeff Bridges. Yes. No. Oh, Bridges. Anyways, the movie K-Pax, my dad's entire summation of the film was, oh, Kevin Spacey eats a banana with the peel on. It's pretty good. Pretty good. So we decided to, Dave has assembled some movies.
Starting point is 00:55:23 I've come up with some movies. I think this will be a recurring thing. I just love it. I've come up with some movies and Graham can just give the review. But I also have the right to pass if I haven't actually seen said movie. Okay, go. And you think what?
Starting point is 00:55:40 No, no, no. There's some movies you haven't seen that I think you can review anyway. No, this is... They have's some movies you haven't seen that I think you can review anyway. No, this is... They have to be movies that I've seen. Yeah, trust me. This is the way it works. Is The Devil Wears Prada on there?
Starting point is 00:55:54 It's one of his favorites. Okay, go. Planet of the Apes. Original or remake? Original. Charlton Heston yells at the Statue of Liberty. It's pretty good. Terminator 2.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Security guard goes to buy a Coke and then this metal guy sticks a pin through his face. It's pretty good. Back to the Future. Okay. Back to the Future Michael J. Fox mom tries to make out with him in the car I thought it was going to be Michael J. Fox stands on top of some burning skid marks either would have been suffice
Starting point is 00:56:42 The Matrix. Oh. That guy from Bill and Ted bends over backwards so a bullet doesn't hit his face. Pretty good. The Shining. Oh. Oh. Jack Nicholson's kid is really good at running through a maze, and he's not so good, so he dies.
Starting point is 00:57:09 It's pretty good. Haven't seen it. Oh, spoiler. The Sixth Sense. I know exactly. This is pretty much what my dad said, I think, about Sixth Sense. Bruce Willis doesn't know he's dead. Rocky.
Starting point is 00:57:35 Oh, um... Four. Oh, Rocky IV. Rocky IV or Rocky? Whatever you prefer. Well, Rocky would be Sylvester Stallone hit some ribs. Rocky would be Sylvester Stallone hit some ribs. Rocky 4 would be
Starting point is 00:57:48 the Russian guy says to his coach that Rocky's like a piece of steel. Alright, I think that's good. I had a couple that you haven't seen, but I think you could do. Alright, well, throw one my way. I'll see if I can do it. Valkyrie.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Oh, yeah. That guy from Vanilla Sky wears an eye patch. Something like that. Your dad doesn't know Tom Cruise? Not necessarily. Okay, Bride Wars. Oh, no, yeah. See, you would never...
Starting point is 00:58:21 Oh, yeah, this is how he would review. Your mom made me see Bride Wars. That would be the full review. I thought it would be The Devil Wears Prada Tackles Almost Famous. See, you're going... That's too many references. All right.
Starting point is 00:58:39 It has to be literally a thing that happened, and that's the review. Well, I think that's got some potential. How are you holding in there, Alicia? You alright? I'm alright. I think eating the Graham Bumpers in front of Alicia may have been a... It hurt my feelings, I won't lie.
Starting point is 00:58:56 You couldn't have eaten them when somebody who wasn't a celiac was here? Well, half of our guests are celiac. Yeah, our non-celiac guests cancelled. We could do symptom and diagnosis are you into it? yeah for sure let's do it
Starting point is 00:59:13 you got a symptom we got a diagnosis so you go to WebMD and if you if you're worried about your health... If you've got a symptom. We've got a diagnosis. We've got a diagnosis.
Starting point is 00:59:29 But they have hundreds of symptoms available, and some of them are kind of funny. And so I'm going to let you guys be the doctors. So you're giving us the symptoms. And you need to diagnose me. Although I do actually have the real diagnosis. Okay. Swelling of the buttocks. You're J-Lo.
Starting point is 00:59:52 You're Tyra Banks. You're Oprah. Diaper rash. There were a few, but the one I liked the best was chemical burns. Isn't that what the Chemical Brothers fans call themselves? Chemical burns? Moving on. Oh, come on.
Starting point is 01:00:13 That was something. Your genitals are warm to touch. That's not a symptom. I'm just telling you. It's not that your genitals are warm to the touch. It's that your genitals are warm to the touch it's that your genitals are warm to touch I think they take out
Starting point is 01:00:31 a lot of the articles to try to make it sound scientific your genitals are warm to touch so if your hands are cold not that anyone's your genitals aren't supposed to be cold. No, no. I think it's a bad sign.
Starting point is 01:00:48 Unless you've been out walking all day. Balls are supposed to be colder than the rest of the body. Graham, we've already established that we don't know what balls are. You sound like a doctor. You know so much about balls. I know. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:05 Genitals are warm to touch. Diagnose me. Your genitals are warm to touch. You're popular. Yeast infection. It was male genitals. Men don't have yeast. That's the thing?
Starting point is 01:01:18 That's an urban legend. No, yeah. Men can get yeast infections, can't they? I don't know. But this was either cellulitis. Oh, that's what the ladies try to avoid all the time, right? I have some. Bathing suit season, uh-oh.
Starting point is 01:01:37 You're going to be wearing a tankini. Or an abscess. Not so funny. Okay. You have a curved or bent penis. Ooh. Elephantitis. You're gonzo.
Starting point is 01:01:55 Oh. No, you have Peyronie's disease. Peyronie? Is that like a pasta? I think it's like an alfaghetti. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had the Peyronie's disease. Peyronie? Is that like a pasta? I think it's like an alfagetti. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had the Peyronie. It's good.
Starting point is 01:02:10 It's filling. Pelvic fullness. Your pelvis is full. Constipation. Pelvic fullness. You can't. Pregnancy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:25 No. Your pelvis isn't full when you're pregnant, is no your pelvis isn't fully pregnant is it I don't know I don't know how that works you have a hernia oh I've had a hernia oh how was your pelvis
Starting point is 01:02:35 I don't remember but I got it when I smashed into a car when I was pretending I was Fonzie's girlfriend when I was five explain I was pretending
Starting point is 01:02:43 I was Fonzie's girlfriend which I would do a lot tried to start a girlfriend he went they came and came and went but there's one he really liked and I just seen that episode and I think she had a motorcycle too and my brother was just turning seven and I got his old bicycle which had a crossbar on it and and it was the old hernia maker yeah basically and I was pedaling really fast and thinking about how I was the Fonz's girlfriend and I sort of daydreamed a little bit too long
Starting point is 01:03:11 and I smashed into the back of my dad's car going top speed for a five-year-old and tore something. Wow. I had to wear just a sundress for quite a while. Oh. That's a down... Can you... To this day, can you wear a sundress for quite a while. Oh. That's a down... To this day, can you wear a sundress without
Starting point is 01:03:29 thinking of it? Yep. I'm fine. I shook it off. I can't wear a sundress without thinking about it. Change in hair texture. Pregnancy. New gel. Graham's closer to the truth.
Starting point is 01:03:50 Your hair was probably colored, is what WebMD said. Really? All right. Pregnancy? Really? Yeah, I've heard that. I might get straight hair. Sure hope.
Starting point is 01:04:01 There's only one way to find out. I'll be held to pay for baby dobing. And finally, skin thickening. Ooh, that's doing stand-up. Get that thicker skin, right? How Joy Behar got it. Skin thickening. Oh, you're the rhino from Spider-Man.
Starting point is 01:04:23 Anywhere on your body? I didn't say. Oh, skin're the rhino from Spider-Man. I knew it on your body. I didn't say. Oh, skin thickening. The only reason I mentioned it was so Graham could say that about stand-up. I knew that would be what came up. Yeah. Oh, nice. The answer is eczema.
Starting point is 01:04:37 Oh. Eczema. Yes, try it. Get it while it's hot. That's awful. Catch the wave. To all you sensitive people out there Eczema
Starting point is 01:04:47 That'll boost your confidence It'll get you the thing Oh yeah, yeah, yeah Well this has all been fantastic We apologize for eating the cereal in front of you Yeah, it really took the wind out of your sails There's just no way around it I was so hungry
Starting point is 01:05:03 Oh, I understand. When you guys were eating. It was so good, too. I know, I could tell. There's nothing better than a bowl of cereal as a snack. It's the most important meal of the day. The snack. The snack. Well, thank you so much for
Starting point is 01:05:19 filling in and being a wonderful guest, Alicia Tobin. Thanks for having me. It's been great. No hard feelings about the cereal. No, yeah. It's in the past. Let's not live in the past. Let's not. Let's not live in the past of 20 minutes ago. But you don't have anything. Do you have anything to plug?
Starting point is 01:05:36 I'll be making cookies. Yeah? Yeah. So no. Nationwide. Pretty much. Thank you so much for being on the podcast. Dave, if people want to write in to us it is
Starting point is 01:05:50 stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com right and if they want to call in here we go oh write it down 206
Starting point is 01:05:58 339 8328 I'm I hope it works yeah I'm really excited for it to work. And also check out all of the lovingly rendered blogs
Starting point is 01:06:10 featuring recaps of every episode at stoppodcastingyourself.blogspot.com And come on back next week. Dave, you got anything else to add to this agenda? Don't go to the slickity gyms this week. That's it? At all. But thank you so much
Starting point is 01:06:30 for listening. If you enjoyed the show, tell your friends. And thank you again to all the people who send us all the messages and keep listening each and every week. And we'll be back again here next week with a new guest and a thrilling show here on Stop Podcasting Yourself.

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