Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 462 - Mark Little

Episode Date: January 23, 2017

Comedian Mark Little returns to talk impossible missions, the new baby, and Canadian music icons.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 462 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who I have not recorded a podcast with at all this year. This is the first time in the year of our Lord, 2017, Mr. Dave Shumka. Hi.

Hello. Happy New Year. Happy New Year to you too. And many happy returns. this will i guess it doesn't come out to like the 25th or something yeah yeah but you know happy new year to you the listener yeah happy new year to um you know uh a third party sure joan collins anyone who's not listening uh happy birthday to you happy birthday to you when did i to you. When did I switch to birthday? I don't know.

Just in the middle somewhere. Okay. And also, happy birthday to our guest. Very funny comedian. A favorite here on the podcast. Mr. Mark Little. Hi, guys. Hello.

Thank you very much. Happy birthday. Now, Mark, Graham and I are going to both guess your birthday. Mm-hmm. And the closest, whichever of us comes closer gets a kiss from you. I'm going to say March 22nd. I am going to say October 12th. Oh, October 21st.

Boom. Very good. Three kisses. I'm the real queen of the something. Do you want to get to know us? Oh, yeah. Get to know us. Mark.

Hello. How are you? I'm doing great. Doing great. Yeah. You're out here visiting family. Yep. My dad just turned the big 7-0.

70. Did somebody put together a video? Dad's greatest hits? Yeah. Yeah, we sent it to graduation day by vitamin C. And then because that wasn't long enough, we added in time of your life. Good riddance at the end. Pretty good.

What do people who graduate these days listen to oh uh are there skrillex are there meaningful songs they've just looped back to pacabell's original canon that's all it is yeah what is i want to know because there was a little run there of very meaningful songs yeah from 1998 through 1999 i would be stunned if will i am or someone like that hadn't capitalized on the because i feel like he he's right there yeah like he's probably got like a birthday song christmas song because there still are it's gotta still be like there are i mean i mean i know no one everyone just plays guitar hero no one learns guitar anymore. That's the complaint. That's the complaint. They all play guitar here.

But surely there must be some acoustic guy who's like... Oh yeah, Ed Sheeran. Oh yeah. What is his persona? I don't know enough because it seems like he's trying to straddle the line between a bad boy and just the world's biggest nerd

but i can never quite get it i feel like every time i see him it's a different photo with text on it there's apparently some ed sheeran quote and i don't know what he's going for i don't know what he's going for either anthony michael hall i think it's anthony michael he's like a John Mayer but without cool hair yeah I've always thought but he got sleeve tattoos no Ed Sheeran's got sleeve tattoos I think he's got sleeve tats well ladies and gentlemen there you have it that's the death knell of sleeve tattoos Ed Sheeran just killed him

I'm gonna google that to confirm but he came out at the same time as the guy the redhead guy in Harry Potter so I was always conflating them in my head. I thought, for a while, I thought it was the same guy. You thought Ed Sheeran came out after Rupert Grint. Wow.

Rupert Grint's been in the, he's been around. Are we talking about modern adult Rupert Grint? Yeah. Those movies are old. Yeah, that's true. They are old, right? Getting there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Modern adult Rupert Grint, Marg. old yeah that's true they are old right getting there yeah yeah yeah modern adult rupert durant marg um ed sheeran i can confirm he has at least one sleeve of tattoo oh okay well that's fine he can be a he could be a chef i wonder what's in that sleeve what are the images making up oh a microphone yeah a little music on the musical notes uh have you ever seen a pair of converse sneakers tied around a telephone wire being pulled away by a dove? There's absolutely a teddy bear in there. Oh, Ed Sheeran, you... Oh, my God.

You communist. Well, the first thing I'm going to do is this first link, explore Ed Sheeran's tattoos with this interactive tat map. No, really? Oh, wow. What a time to be alive. What a gross time to be alive. It's a picture of us. Here.

Now. Today's standing next to today's news. And Ed Sheeran's behind you. Oh, God. Ed Sheeran's the Slenderman. There seems to be some kind of Lego. There's a lizard. This is so it. Yeah. There's a there's a lizard this is so it

yeah there's a a guy called lizard a snowflake there's a kiwi there's the Heinz ketchup logo oh Ed Sheeran you freaking dork

oh my goodness I think you're right I think he's the world's biggest dork and that tattoo that's really it he would get a tattoo but fill it with Heinz ketchup that's Ed Sheeran in a bottle

well maybe they don't have it in England maybe they only have you know HP sauce That's really it. He would get a tattoo, but fill it with Heinz ketchup. That's Ed Sheeran in a bottle. Well, maybe they don't have it in England. Maybe they only have, you know, HP sauce. That's him yearning for America. Yeah. That's like David Bowie coming over to sing the blues. That's what they call ketchup over there. It's just a bottle of Sheeran. That's a bottle of Sheeran?

He's just trying to get a leg up. That's great. I'm glad we learned that. Yeah, absolutely. So you're dead big 70 big party big party big 70 yeah and then uh uh and then right back to toronto or back to toronto in uh two days two days getting together with some old friends tomorrow oh yeah yeah who we now communicate uh through a fantasy basketball text message group. Okay.

All right. It's real. It's taken a few steps just to make us feel, I don't know, connect or whatever. Yeah, yeah. To instigate the connection. Let's do this as a group. It was like, let's start a fantasy basketball league together. And then it was like, that's great.

And then let's start a specific iMessage group to text about that, but then also send pictures of kids if those are out there. Oh, sure, why not? It's weird. Like their own kids? Yeah.

Kids we think will make the league someday. Screen caps of the movie Kids. Yeah. Where's Casper these days?

Dead? No! 2016? Did Casper die in 2016? No, he died like 12 years ago. Which one's Casper these days. Dead? No! 2016? Did Casper die in 2016? No, he died like 12 years ago. Which one's Casper? He was like the bad, bad boy. There's a lot of bad boys.

The virgin surgeon? I think he was the worst. I think he was not the virgin surgeon, but he was like, he's the kind of dopey boy who seems like comedic relief, but then he like, he's the perpetrator at the very end.

He's a bad boy. A real bad boy. does he do the thing with the wiener back slapping his wiener back and forth that's the only thing i remember from that movie all i remember is the virgin surgeon that's uh and he was like he was the virgin surgeon's best friend i hate talking about this so much so scalpel fantasy basketball league Do you know a ton of stuff about basketball? Yeah, I'm really too fond of basketball. As we say in the basketball world, I'm a bit too fond. How many people in the league? This year it's grown a little because it's me and a lot of old friends from high school and elementary school. So that would make up about seven or eight of us.

And then there's four guys I've never met from Australia. You need more people in a league, right? Yeah. Eight's not quite i've never met from australia you need more people in a league right yeah yeah it's not quite enough yeah it does seem like you want more but we've got these four strangers that one of the guys knows from australia okay and they're all killing us why do australians know about our national pastime what else we invented it yeah that's true uh we invented it down there i don't know how Australians Have gotten on board But their national team

Is better than the Canadian National team now They were in the Olympics And we weren't They've got very Outspoken silly guys What? You know

I mean anybody can be better Than the Canadian basketball team Alright We still have a few good guys Who do we got? We got the old Andrew Wiggins Andrew Wiggins Andrew Wiggins okay

We've got Steve Nash. Still? He plays whatever. We've got Jay Triana. Yeah. So those are our three. And we've got Larry Walker, the baseball player. And Matt Stairs, the baseball player.

Yeah. Oh, sure. We got plenty of great Canadian baseballers. Yeah. Michael J. Fox is in there. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, sure. We got plenty of great Canadian baseballers. Yeah. Michael J. Fox is in there. Yeah. Are you doing well?

Who, me? Sure. Yeah. I'm doing great. In the league. In the league. Oh, in the league. Yeah.

Geez Louise. We don't care about your well-being. This is a recreation of my text message group, which is, how are you doing in the league?

And then maybe somewhere down the road in the subtext, you'll find out how your friends are actually feeling about life. I'm doing, I'm in fourth out of like. That's not bad. So you're beating at least one Australian. I'm beating at least one Australian. And I'm getting hammered by another. Whose name I don't know. Is there one Australian who's just dominating everyone?

He is He's a sneaky Come from behind too Because we He was He was sort of hovering In the middle of the pack This is so boring No no no

He isn't at all Now he's killing us Cause we don't Graham and I Have talked to Who did we have on Who played fantasy baseball Oh

Well doesn't Ryan Beal Isn't he in a Maybe And we know A lot of people In a fantasy I know a lot of people In hockey pools Yeah who played fantasy baseball? Oh, well, doesn't Ryan Beal, isn't he in a... Maybe. And we know a lot of people in a fantasy... I know a lot of people in hockey pools. Yeah. And I don't know that I know anybody in a fantasy hockey. I don't know anyone who does fantasy football.

No. But how does fantasy basketball work? Do you have to put a team out every day, or do you just do one? Yeah, it's too much. Yeah, so it's all consuming. It is, yeah yeah so now you're doing like more with your friends from high school maybe than what you're doing with your uh nowadays friends are you in multiple leagues i'm in two so you're in a non-high school league as well yeah wow

i'm gonna leave with my old friends from high school Then I'm in a league with current high school kids You gotta stay in touch with the youth That's the only way Yeah, and most of that iMessage group is talking about basketball You never find out what their graduation song is And I do a lot of The league and school, right guys?

Yeah, homework sucks I'm grounded The league and school, right guys? Yeah. Homework sucks. I'm grounded. But it's a problem. I don't know. Now, did you play as a youth? Were you a basketball player? I played a little bit. Okay.

You weren't like in the high school, on the high school team? No, when I was in grade nine, I made the grade 10 team. Big moment for me. Whoa. Big moment for me. And that was the year that Space Jam came out. So in our layup line we would listen to hit them high by all those yeah absolutely that was the highlight and then we went on a bus trip and i remember i was five three i was very small uh even for that age and uh compared to those guys and i remember

they made up a song on our bus trip about how our team was going to win. There was only one negative verse in the whole thing. It was about how I was too short to play. And I think that's when I realized that I couldn't hack it. Oh, no. Yeah. You couldn't hack the criticism. I couldn't. Honestly, I couldn't hack the criticism.

I think I could have put up with being not that good as long as I had felt. I feel like you were part of the team. Yeah, yeah. Because I feel like there's always a moment where, where people realize for good or for bad that they're like, well, I'm not going to do this. Like, I'm not going to be. I'm not going to make it as a pro. Yeah.

Like I'm not going to be a pro this. Yeah. Was that the moment? No, I was never under the illusion that I'd be any good at basketball just because I think that's the one thing where if you're short you just know you know yeah you kind of automatically know

it was the era where there were there was Spudwell there was Mugsy Bones there was Mugsy Bones that's true but even then I don't know

Rhea Perlman played a few years Danny DeVito could do a layup like you wouldn't imagine and this was Rhea Perlman then yeah

she was short yeah she's grown she's grown a bit it's weird. She's grown. It's weird that she's grown a foot every year. She's the tallest person on earth. I think she's like a beaver's tooth. If she doesn't constantly rubbing wood against her,

she just keeps growing. Put that on a t-shirt and sell it to very few people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just all text rio perlman is like a beaver she's very tall right now it's just dot dot dots on the back on the back but nowadays she's taller did you have any like youthful aspirations to be in

an athlete at all or yeah i think so i think so but i didn't know what a soccer player was probably the only possibility yeah a baseball player i thought it was going to be a maybe a like a like a sprinter and then i got beaten i got beaten so bad by a guy from another school that i was like oh well uh that's over you know that guy beat me then i was the fastest in my school but uh turns turns out that I go to a very slow school. Yeah, yeah. There's other schools. Our lady of perpetual.

Perpetual running. Yeah. But yeah, this guy, he like, he was so fast that I was just like. I just felt like how the rest of the runners running against Usain Bolt must feel like, why did I have to be a runner in the era that this guy also is a runner? Because maybe I could have gotten third, but now I'm just in the pack of eight guys that aren't. I-Sain Bolt? Usain Bolt. We all Sain Bolt.

For Usain Bolt. That would be my contribution as a guy. Look, I didn't win, but I came up with this thing that unifies us all. Canadian man ruins podium moment. Everybody, I Sane Bowl. I think what a mercy that you learned that so early. I feel like even people who are great at sprinting. I know.

What a strange fate. Yeah. Unless there's that one in a million chance that you turn into like Usain Bolt. But even then. Yeah. What's Usain Bolt's life? I guess it's all right. It's pretty good.

Yeah. It's pretty good. What am I talking about? I'd give anything. Yeah. Usain Bolt's life? Pretty amazing. My friend saw Donovan Bailey in a car wash.

Just running through Getting clean Yeah Yeah he got a lot of flies on his face Because they kept hitting him when he was running down the hall highway He didn't have a windshield wiper He said he was A. Very rude B. Massive legs

Like trees he said Thighs like trees. Do you remember when he won the gold and then his big commercial tie-in was... A wiener? Yeah, was it Fleishman's? Fletcher's? Yeah. Fletcher's Hot Dog Shiders?

It was him running against a hot dog? Like that was the commercial? I don't remember that. Those dogs were... I guess they were trying to make it seem like the dogs were 100 meters long. Oh, yeah. I guess that's what it was. That's what it was? But clearly they didn't have a studio that was long enough,

because he really had to shorten up his stride and kind of trot alongside this giant hot dog. Because sometimes you don't get the chew, you know, sponsorship or the sporting, you know, it's just just like but a hot dog company's like we'll give you money if you're in a hot dog commercial yeah what are the greatest canadian endorsements ever oh roberto alomar for mccain fruit punch that's a good one absolutely wasn't silken lamin feel like she was in maybe like a moisturizer commercial or something because his name was silken yeah maybe that's why i'm thinking uh yeah geez louise i don't know who else isn't uh what's his name uh ty domey doesn't he do ads for like an insurance or like save on long distance or something like that some kind of voip voipathomy I think

yeah Steve Nash does those Fido that's no idea I don't know he bounces a ball on his head on a dog

yeah on a dog well Michael Jordan he did a hot dog commercial I remember at the peak

of his because the commercial is he like flies up and grabs a hot dog out of the jumbotron. Again, not an immediate association

with hot dogs, but they're way up there. Yeah. They're like, what is... I can probably remember a thousand hot dog commercials. Oscar Mayer Wiener song

and subsequent commercial, you know, that's one of the tops. Yeah, yeah. It's right in your brain. Johnsonville Broth. Oh, yeah. Oscar Mayer wiener song And subsequent commercial You know Yeah That's one of the tops Yeah yeah It's right in your brain Johnsonville Broth Oh yeah

Charlie Murphy Is it Charlie Murphy's Yeah The things that plump When you cook them Oh yeah And then Armor hot dogs

What are the ones There's like a current Oh brother Hebrew Hebrew national Is that what they're called That's a thing yeah they they have a they have some catchphrase what is their catchphrase something about ballpark the official ballpark frank i don't know okay hebrew national yeah like a nice kosher dog i'm guessing kosher

dog yeah kosher dog yeah uh it's weird that uh we as a culture just accept hot dogs as being like, yeah, that's a thing that we've all agreed to eat. Just a tube of scraps. That's true. And there are that many commercials for them. Like, I get that there's a million commercials for cola. Yeah. Or cars. Yeah.

But like hot dogs are like, remember? Those two things are related, maybe, because they're so constantly panicking that we will wake up to the fact that we should not be eating these. That they have to remind us over and over again that not only are they edible, they're so long and they're way up there. They're way up there. They never have close-ups of them, like, after you bite them. No, that's true. Yeah like it's it's not like i get the wide angle lens for when they when they bite into it so we can see the inside of what because they'll do a close-up of a can of coke or a glass of coke with the ice and the spritzing and yeah that's true it's like, they don't ever want you to think that next level.

Yeah. Of like, wait, what's in there? Think of it as a food that you eat. It's just a thing you put on the barbecue while you hang out with friends. Yeah. Don't you like friends? Yeah, don't you like friends? Don't you like, they still will, you know, at a movie theater. I feel like hot dogs weren't a thing that are in movie theaters and now they are again.

like hot dogs weren't a thing that are in movie theaters and now they are again i always felt i feel so uh embarrassed and shy about eating like substantial food in a movie theater but i would say that secretly it's my i love it like the nachos or the big nachos or like a slice of pizza now seems to be everywhere or a hot dog it's kind of weird the cool thing is you can now since there's so many like there's it used to just be one concession stand and now they'll be, they'll have a pizza hut. They'll have a frozen yogurt place. You can go to all the other places and shake condiments. You can shake the like the popcorn shaker flavors onto your yogurt. Your hot dog.

You can dump your hot dog in your Coke. You can do whatever the hell you want nowadays. It's Trump's America. Yeah. The, uh uh i don't know i've never thought about eating at a movie like outside of popcorn which is the loudest possible food that they could have oh god eating popcorn at a non-popcorn movie is yet another thing that keeps me awake at night. Just that loud crunch while something's happening to Schindler. What movie? I don't know. I'm trying to remember.

Schindler's Lunch? No, it's true, though. Eating popcorn during, like, a very heavy... Manchester by the Sea. Yeah. Angela's ashes just... Like, it should make your stomach

not want food watching a tragic movie but that's it there should yeah I don't know what they should there should

there should be no regulations in place I was gonna say there should be a rule but no there should not we should just grow up and understand

what we're going to like you look on your ticket and it's got a picture of a hot dog with a circle of the line yeah no hot dogs you have to show your ticket

when you buy I just I only bought this ticket because i'm sneaking into star wars and it's clear you're allowed to eat hot dogs at star wars not anymore these films are about the world now uh do you keep up on the on any of the are you because you're a sci-fi geek right no no i like sci-fi but i right? No. No? I like sci-fi, but I don't know that much about it. You don't keep in the... He's a basketball jock.

You're a basketball jock. That's right. Yeah. I eat sci-fi geeks for breakfast. High in fiber. Yeah, they're good. I like how they taste.

And so what else is going on? Are you full- time living in Toronto? You splitting your time between Toronto and somewhere else? No, just Toronto. Toronto. Oh, Toronto. Yeah.

Living in Kensington Market. Really? Yep. That's a cool little area. I like it. It's, uh, how do you feel about the, the place closing down? Honest Ed's. Oh, that's a shame.

Cause there's not a lot of cool uh buildings in toronto so well i mean wait cn tower yeah that's needle that's the other sky dome there's the space needle cn tower there's calgary cn tower there's a lot of good building harbor center yeah uh let's see what else you got yeah trying to think of that one from uh dubai i'm ruining it i can't oh yeah the dubai tower yeah is it called the dubai tower well maybe it's called the barge something barge dar the barge dar sure tom cruise was on it uh oh and one of the missions yeah yeah they've got a bronze statue of him was that one of the the like missions that he was able to do? I would say that ultimately, against all odds, he was.

Okay. But initially, you would have deemed it at least improbable. Huh. Huh. Hmm. Hmm. That one ruled. That was the one that Brad Bird directed.

Which one? Was that four? Was that the one with the hoodies? Was that Ghost Protocol? No, I think Ghost Protocol was five or six. And this is the one before that. Maybe I've only seen the first one and the one. The De Palma one.

Is that the first one? Yeah, Brian De Palma directed that. And then what's the one where they have a motorcycle fight? Is that the second one? I think that's the John Woo second one. No, it was directed by Fred Durst. He did the soundtrack. It's just one of those days no it was now i know why you want to hate me uh and then was there one with simon peg was that the most recent one he's been the last couple he's been oh he's a staple now Q. Yeah, he's the guy who goes,

you can't just jump. He'll say like, no, no, no. I'm trying so hard. I'm trying so hard. He'll be like, you can't. No, no, no.

Seriously, do it. Settle yourself down. I want this. He'll say, you can't just jump off that. It's surrounded by enemies. They've all got guns. He's got a,

he jumped. You know what i mean he'll list all the reasons you can't do something and then he'll and then it's too late and then he'll and then he's always got that look yeah he's the one who panics and then he's the one who's proven wrong right but he's the dolt who represents all of us he does the calculations like he's a smart dolt he's just oh yeah he's a very useful dolt but he's a coward yes well it's because he's so smart he knows how impossible this mission is and then at one point

in every movie he'll like kill someone important and then Tom Cruise will turn around and give him a look like did you just do that and he'll say something like

I've shot a gun you know like he'll do something redemptive just so he doesn't get shit out of I'm a sociopath but doesn't at any point doesn't get shit out of it. I'm a sociopath.

But doesn't, at any point, doesn't he ever just like, can't you just trust me after so many missions together that I'm going to do the thing that I say I'm going to do? Doesn't he ever, Simon Pegg's character ever trust Mission Impossible? I assume that's his name. Both of you shut up for a second. I assume that's his name. Both of you shut up for a second. If you watch these movies, you'd understand that they do a very good job off the top of convincing you that despite historical precedent, this particular mission is impossible. Look, guys, things are just getting more and more impossible. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Here's the best part of Ghost Protocol. I feel like we talked about this last time. I haven't seen them. I've only seen the second one and I maybe fell asleep in one of them. The fourth.

I genuinely recommend the last two for kicks. There's one. One's on Netflix right now. The last one. I think I watched part of it where they're, they dress like generals

at some point to get past security. Oh, that's a classic staple. And now they have these masks where you just kind of like pinch it. You pinch it and it's like a single layer of skin flipping off your face. Yeah, it wasn't like those terrible ones from the first one where you had to pull the chin. You had to wrench it off and then grab a washcloth to get the last latex drop.

And there was like a voice changer thing on the throat. Yeah, cough that up. So here's the best part of Ghost Protocol, for real. So there's the cold open where it's very wonderful. He like grabs onto the side of a plane as it's taking off. That's not Ghost Protocol. That's the new one. Wait, isn't Ghost Protocol the new one?

No. Oh, Ghost Protocol's, I don't know. The new one's five, I think. Okay, well, whichever the newest one is. So he's grabbing onto the side of the plane. And then in the making of Mini Duck, you find out that Tom Cruise really did it and it's genuinely so impressive. But then, after that

is all done. You're in love with him. I love Tom Cruise as an action hero so much. But then it's like the cold, it's like classic that type of movie. The cold open wraps up. They think it's all solved, but something else is going to, some problem is going to leak through. But in the interim, when you think it's time to return to Tom Cruise in his real life,

he goes to receive his new mission, and he goes to a music store, and he's rifling through the jazz section. And then the young female clerk comes up to him and asks him, she's dressed like she's the CEO of the ceo of the coolest couple like she's not like a fucking music store employee but she's very like formal british bond type and she comes up and she says can i help you find anything and then he says yeah i'm looking for and then he says something about a charlie parker album where so and so played drums but only on a couple tracks and they have this like minute long conversation about jazz albums.

And then she's like, right this way. And then she opens up the secret door so he can go receive his message. And it turns out that that was the code word. Oh, the code word was like the 60 second conversation about jazz album. But what if she let some nerd in who just likes jazz? Now that's the movie I want to see. That the better movie yeah that's a much better paul giamatti is a jazz fan and then gets embroiled in a spy mission oh that's the one i just watched that um uh brian wilson movie oh yeah love and mercy yeah with paul dano dano as young brian wilson yes Just watch that Brian Wilson movie. Oh, yeah.

Love and Mercy. Yeah. With Paul Dano, Dano as young Brian Wilson. Yes. And John Cusack as himself. And there's no old Brian Wilson. He's just, he says he's Brian Wilson, but he walks around like. Like Cusacking it up.

Cusacking it up. He's basically high fidelity guy. And he Paul Giamatti is the bad guy. He's Dr. Eugene Landy. And he's the bad guy in the NWA. Oh yeah. He's the bad guy in private parts too.

But is he now just going to be the music music biopic bad guy? I mean. Is he going to play Yoko? He's Yoko's going to be all CGI, but he's going to be in the mo-cap suit. Yoko's going to be CGI. I love him.

Giamatti? Well, I don't know. Oh, yeah, I love him. What is your favorite... You love Tom Cruise. What's your favorite Tom Cruise action? Is it The Mission Impossible? No, it's Edge of Tomorrow.

Edge of Tomorrow was great. That one rules. Yeah. Bad name, though. Bad name of movie. They changed the name to Live, Die, Repeat. I like the name. You like Edge of Tomorrow?

I love like anime stuff. Okay. And it really was like evocative of that you know so i kind of dug it anime stuff is always like uh so sort of a sci-fi type of name but with like a romantic core to it example tomorrow edge well uh no i can't come up with any fair enough i'm i would uh like is anime good because i've seen like two things of it and And I don't know that it's good. Do you know what I mean? Like, is it good?

What things have you seen? Because I'm, you know, I think I've seen like Akira. Is that the one with the motorcycle? Yeah. And I think maybe. Is that good? Your thoughts. Akira rules.

Yeah, it was good. But I don't know like. Now, what's the difference between anime and the Studio Ghibli things? I consider that under the umbrella of anime. I think it's just Japanese animation. Okay, I thought anime was like action-y, gun thing. Well, maybe there's a nuanced definition that I don't know. But I'm mostly just thinking like the Japanese animation. And the other one I saw was Ghost in the Shell.

Yeah. Did you not like that one? No, I thought it was good. Yeah. What's the one with Charlize Theron? Which one? That one's Monster. It's not anime.

That's not anime. But like. I really like this one. Wait, go on. No, I'm just wondering. Like, I'm honestly wondering. Is it. Like, because I've seen those two.

Yeah. Are those the two best or is there other good anime that I've never. There's this awesome series called Neon Genesis Evangelion. I don't know how you pronounce it. Okay. I think a lot of people our age maybe resist these things because they feel like things they would have loved in high school or college. Wow. Yeah.

And that's true. But maybe I just have a soft spot that's me in steampunk i tell you if i had been a steampunk had been a viable option when i was in high school i would have been into it in a big way but cogs gears clocks in your i message group with your high school friends are you way more like guys let's go back in time and watch these movies no i'm very much not that's me now to anyone who will listen uh but it's good i don't know what's that anime is just like like the fun stuff about it is like um this sort of goofy over-the-top action and emotion then this, when, when it has this, uh, existential sort of stream flowing through it,

I like that. Okay. And which goes to the shell very much. And Akira very much have, you know? Yeah. But those are the only two that ever somebody's like, you gotta watch.

Are those from the nineties, eighties? Yeah, probably eighties. Ghost in the Shell is nineties. I think, I don't know. Yeah.

And they were like, yeah, I had a friend who was really into it but he couldn't describe why I could should get into it and I was like is this is it weird is this weird are you into weird stuff because there's also weird

isn't there's like a whole wing of anime like porn weird things yes and secretly I was waiting for you to get to that that's the reason I like all this I just want to see a tentacle do something rude things. Yes, and secretly I was waiting for you to get to that. That's the reason I like all this. I just want to see a tentacle do something rude. In my day

the only tentacle you needed was Craig and that was, that was, he was a gentleman. Oh, they dwell in Craig. Craig is back and he is different. Well, I think like, you know how there is is that you know how westerns were very goofy for the longest time they were just kind of like boilerplate uh fun action stories

and then they all like every western became a sort of existential uh right western yeah like the spaghetti westerns and then like all of the sort of later like john wayne ones and i don't know yeah yeah so many true there's a lot of, yeah, all the like unforgiven and yeah. Well, they were kind of like ruminating on not only what it was to be a Western to live within the tradition, but then also like what the world was and all of these characters who had been sort of. Uh, unquestionably heroic became more, um, like fraught characters. Cause it was like so many of them would save the day and then walk off

into the sunset and you'd be like, that guy's alone. You know? That guy's all alone. Is that the price of honor? And so that just became, so then all of these

Westerns became, like for my taste, very cool. Right. Because you got to have your cake and eat it too a bit. You got to like see this fun action. Western thing. But then you got to have them walk away eat it too a bit. You got to like see this fun action.

Western thing. But then you got to have them walk away and confirm what you feel about the world which is like boy it's dismal out there baby. You know.

And hope that they made a new sort of comment on that. And I think that anime sort of does that because it's the entire tradition is based on sort of like

taking Disney and then turning it into Astro Boy and then blossoming from there. So starting from very silly stories and they still have a lot of really silly stories, but then, you know, I don't know when it started, but certainly eighties and nineties, you get into these ones like Akira where it's like, yeah, we're still going to tell a story about like

motorcycles and mech monsters and like aliens and the sun exploding or whatever government agencies. But then at the core of it, it's going to be like a child who's going to come of age in a really rude way. In a rude tentacle way. I feel like I'm always in my mind, I'm always on the path to making a cogent point and then it falls apart.

You just picked the wrong word at the wrong time. Reuse rude and it all topples. It topples like oh so embarrassing and i'm here to call you on it i yeah like the idea of someone or trying to get into anime or trying to get into anything like i feel like i failed so many times that trying to get into jazz for instance like yeah like if something doesn't grab me right away then i what what i've never had that effort pay off in that way of getting into there's a lot of stuff out there you don't have to dive into all of this i mean i don't know this is literally the first time i've ever tried to convince someone to watch and oh i don't think and i hope that's

not even what i'm doing i don't think that's what you're doing defending myself no no you were you were analyzing yeah yeah and i think you made a good you made like a good see that's been the the like what's been missing in anybody's pitch is it's like they're always like oh it's about this crazy yeah mechanical monster and i'm like i don't know i don't know man i don't know man i don't know if i cared about that stuff like as much as i did when i was uh never i don't think i ever cared that much about it you know like what were you into can i ask uh what like as a child or a teen didn't get into you know i think i was into was into like the Jack Kerouac kind of. Really?

That early? Yeah. That was my teenage years. That was something I tried to get into as well. Oh, the beatnik? Yeah. Yeah. That was my, that was what I settled in.

It seemed really cool. I think that's what attracted me to this. I was like, this, I'll be the guy who knows about this stuff. Because nothing else is making me cool. I think that's what attracted me to this. I was like, I'll be the guy who knows about this stuff. Because nothing else is making me cool throughout my high school years. That's fun. My knowledge of all the lyrics to all of Oasis'

songs isn't getting me anywhere. Yeah. I always went to a very cool... I think I wanted things to make me cool too. But my problem was that I picked a thing if I liked it. If everyone, if I got nothing but evidence that it wasn't cool, I just dug in. I once went to a party with a bunch of like young, like burgeoning punks and cool people who were playing like Sonic Youth and like punk rock on their stereo. And I just slipped on my smash mouth cd because it was a sick cd changer

and i wanted it to just crop up like it was on shuffle like they're all dancing to it they're like what are we dancing to i wanted it to be a chuck berry marvin, Back to the Future moment. You know that new sound you're looking for, punks? What was it? And it was literally, this was an album that had a song called The Fonz on it. I don't know if you guys... F-O-N-Z? Yeah, I was real into Smash Mouth. Was this the first album?

You're the Fonz. It's a song about how cool The Fonz is in the 90s. Was this Fushumang or astrolounge oh i think this was fushumang how do you know that oh my god because their catalog has stood the test of time sure that one song crops up like did they get money for people? Like doing smash ups, which is a smash with mashup. I wonder at how,

because they'll, they'll do a County fair. They'll do how much of the audience is young internet kids who are like, let's go see that. Let's go see the meme. Yeah. Let's go see this live meme. I wonder what it feels like to be a band that their entire catalog in hindsight is relegated to like novelty.

You know, like they thought they were making real music. What do you think? I don't know, actually. It's hard to say. It connected to a young Mark Little. That's true. And what was the result of you slipping on this? This Smash Mouth CD. I literally tried to pull a Marvin Berry in the middle of the party where I was like, what is this?

I'm actually misusing that reference. I was like, yeah, what is this? This is pretty cool. And they're like, I don't know. Did you bring this? Maybe that's mine. Maybe that's a CD. Oh, I guess I did bring it.

Yeah. Everybody. maybe that's mine maybe that's oh i guess i did bring it yeah everybody i feel like once a year i still do something like that because i'll wait till i'm 44 and then talking about how silly i was at 34 uh yeah but that's uh i always when you're like a teenager when you found out something that you really liked, somebody would say it was uncool, and you were like, but quickly try to put on a sweatshirt over your... Smash Mouth shirt?

But it's also a Smash Mouth sweatshirt! Oh, God! This backfired so badly! Take off my Smash Mouth hat, and and my Smash Bros forehead tattoo is evident. I can't escape it. Yeah, I feel like that was most of my youth was thinking something was cool or hoping something was cool. And then finding out that it wasn't and trying to delete evidence. Delete evidence. Which has got to be hard for kids now

who put a YouTube video saying how much they love an album and then trying to deny that to their future friends and their friends being like, let me just, wait a minute, it says that you are really into Shakira. Do you remember that kid who loved Yankee Candle? Yes. And every time he went to Yankee Candle, he would, like,

bring a show of the five or six candles he would buy and describe how they smelled. Yeah. He must be like, now his friends must look at those videos and be like, that candle sucks. Yeah, those candles. You had such bad taste in candles. We were into punk candles

Our candles didn't even light Is that a punk candle? I don't know What would a punk candle be? I guess a punk candle is just a big old candle You use to burn down dad's house Or it's a bunch of like Melted candles that have been all, you know, gooped together.

Yeah. Everyone crazy. Candle society said weren't good enough. Yeah. I'm really coming down on punks. Did you ever try to get into the punk rock? I loved it. Yeah.

I was in a punk band when I was. Were you? Yeah. 18, 19. What were you called? Smash Mouth. We were called Smash Mouth. Then we found out that name was taken. So we changed our name to Fudge You Man.

Smash Mouth Tribute Band. We did faster covers of Smash Mouth. We were called Noah's Arcade. Oh, from Wayne's World. From Wayne's World. Nice. And we were very, I don't know. We had fun.

Did you play gigs? We would play gigs around Port Moody. Okay. Almost exclusively. We played one gig in Vancouver at the Cobalt. Whoa. And we were not well received. But that was a time when I thought the height of being in a band was being able to jump at the right time and land on the down note or

like some 41 yeah that's that's punk to me that's that's what i now that's what i call punk the dave schumke collection i was talking to my friend chris and his uh daughter is uh two almost is she two she's two-ish sure Sure. And she's into this TV show, Paw Patrol. Oh, yeah. And he's so worried that she's going to get into pop punk music because all the music in Paw Patrol is like, uh-oh. Look, there's worse things that your daughter could get into than pop punk. That's fine. Paw punk.

Sure. Crime. Crime. Yeah, crime. Pop punk. Sure. Crime. Crime. Yeah. Crime. Drugs. Sure. Heavy.

Yeah. Shoplifting. Scalping. I mean, that's all of them. Shoplifting is pretty bad. That is pretty bad. And you know what?

Every kid's got to make their peace with whether or not they're going to be a shoplifter. I shoplifted. Yeah? Yeah.

What was your biggest score? Red tinted sunglasses from a gas station. Whoa. Red tinted? Yeah. Very punk rock. Very punk rock. Punk rock in the way that Bono is punk.

They were considered an alternative band. Yeah. You two. And have sort of carried that with them. They'll still be covered by... What would they be called? Adult Contemporary? They're just like, at this point, they're a classic rock band.

Oh, yeah. I guess. Do you remember that stuff they did with Pavarotti? No. I remember Bryan Adams did some stuff with Pavarotti. Just some over the shirts. Some light petting. What did you two do with Pavarotti?

I don't remember exactly. It was around the time of the Pop album, I think. Okay. I think I remember being at the PNE. And Pavarotti was there. Playing county I remember being at the PNE. And Pavarotti was there. Playing county fairs with you two. Eating funnel cake.

Their career had taken a small step backwards. And I was on the coaster. Pavarotti told me to have fun. What? No. Tell your story. Hey Mark, have fun. I don't remember. I think they were just playing this song oh for some reason that's the sense memory that i yeah yeah it was the pne yeah poverty of you too don't

remember it but you know hell i hope i'm not wrong no i think you're right but like i was watching a bit of uh uh yeah the song is called miss sarajevo no is that what it's called yeah that's a bad title i think it probably uh uh probably uh the money went to something yeah oh is this during the kosovo uh yeah during the balkan war i'm guessing something like that that is making me feel like a heel oh no. Don't worry about it. I'm glad he's dead. So you can feel good about that. Yeah, don't worry about it.

I think you too. Isn't it funny? Yeah. Anyway. Bono seems like... Where am I going with this? I'm not going to defend or... Bono seems like a nice guy.

He does seem like a nice guy. He's been doing some good stuff. Yeah. Yeah, he could be a lot worse. He could be a lot worse. He could do a lot of evil. Yes. And instead, done a lot of good.

Nothing wrong with Bono, is there? Well, there's probably a couple things wrong. Yeah, he's probably, you know, I bet he's obnoxious to be around. And that's not the worst thing you can be. Yeah. I don't know what it is. Yeah, fair enough. But, like, I was watching a Backstreet Boys documentary last night on Netflix.

I've seen that one. Have you? Yep. So what do you call what they make? It's not pop. Because it's like, they're like, you know, they've been the Backstreet Boys for 20 years. Is it adult contemporary? What is their music?

I mean. Yeah, what do you call old pop? Old pop? But they're making new albums. That's a good one. It's all pop. Like anything, like punk is pop. Anything that's not blues or jazz or classical,

even rock is pop. I want my daughter to get into jazz pop. If it's got lyrics and verse, chorus, structure, it's all pop. Huh. Interesting. Yeah, because they were recording. You watch that documentary where they're recording the new album?

Yeah. And AJ wants to be lead again? Yeah. Yeah. Who's lead now? Well, apparently, AJ was the lead for like the first year, maybe. Before they were even touring high schools. Oh, okay.

Definitely before they broke. But then Nick and Brian came in. Yeah. Voices of Angels. They were given the lead spot. And AJ has harbored some small resentment ever since. And he was relegated to Howie status. And Howie and who's the fifth?

Kevin. Kevin. Old Kevin. Kevin walked away from the group at some point and then reunited for this documentary. Like Kevin wanted to go and have a regular life. He is the oldest looking man in the group. Like he looks like an old man. Yeah. He's got very sunken cheeks and his beard looks like it's been dyed.

and cheeks and his beard looks like it's been dyed. And they all, here's the funny thing. None of their fashion choices got better as they became older men. Still crazy. Remember they were like crazy dressers. Yeah. Still. Just flashy, flashy dressers. Yeah, still, still as old men they're wearing.

Lots of cargo pants still. At the time, did we think that looked good? I did. I think probably, like, that's what popular... I don't even remember, like, I... Like, think about, like... Because I remember, like, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake wearing the denim outfits to the MTV VMAs. No one liked that then, right?

Maybe that night they were like, whoa, check this out. And then, you know, Mr. Blackwell got his hands on it. I don't know. Lots of Kangol hats, you know. Big, big poofy pants uh huge poofy pants and uh you know tank tops big quilted vests yeah old navy vests yeah yeah and they still kind of just dress like that yeah i mean i thought that at that time frosted tips real dream those vests i had some friends who had those vests looking good yeah absolutely we're

talking silver we're talking blue like a puka shell necklace things like that i had a puka shell necklace that i wore into college oh yeah took a real backhanded remark from a fellow college newspaper writer to make me realize maybe it wasn't going over well. You were at a party and someone was like, who put a puka shell necklace in this six CD changer? Oh, yeah. How's this sound? Oh, yeah. I think he said, hey, man, did you pass out on the couch and someone put a puka shell necklace on you? Can't pass out first, man.

Oh, man. And that really like, was that it that day? Did you throw it in the garbage? Oh, I think so. Yeah. I think, yeah, I put it with all of the rest of the stuff I'd ever liked before society told me no. I put it in my shrine with Smash Mouth and the Pavarotti album. In high school, they called me Mr. Sarajevo.

Didn't know what it meant. Oh, wow. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, not a heck of a lot. We haven't recorded in three or four weeks. That's right.

Because I was anticipating a baby being born. And, guys, it happened. Oh, nice. Real nice. One day, it was like, she was due on the 2nd of january this baby and we um abby's parents were staying with us in anticipation and um on uh the 23rd, I had bought a bunch of tickets to go see Star Wars. Yeah. Rogue One. Rogue One. And that day, we had tickets at like 1.40 in the afternoon.

And at 11 in the morning, Abby came downstairs and she was like, I think my water broke. Oh, wow. I'm not sure. Because it never broke with the first baby. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh. Still got that water baby. Oh. Really? Yeah. Oh. Still got that water?

She's still got it? Yeah. Yeah, because everything I know about a baby arriving comes from sitcoms that I've seen. And it always starts with, uh-oh, my water broke. Everybody panic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then somebody says, boil water.

And then. Pair up sheets. Yeah. Towels and whatever. Yeah, yeah. And then somebody says, boil water. Pair up sheets. Yeah. Towels and whatever. Yeah, and then everybody goes to the hospital together. What? That seems insane. So that's what we did.

We're friends. Well, that's what we did. Yeah, did everybody go? We all boiled water. Okay. Everybody put their own pot of water. That's mine. Don't mix the waters. And then we boiled the baby oh no baby soup baby broth oh you know it takes nine months but it's worth it yeah

um so uh at about yeah at 11 in the morning she said i, I think my water broke. I'm not sure. It wasn't like tons and tons of it. That's how she wasn't sure. And then she called the midwife and she was like, let's monitor this. The baby might come today. It might come in a few days. And if things start picking up pace, then call again. And so I didn't go see Star wars stayed home in anticipation i was all the next star wars yeah um i so no one spoiled star wars for me i haven't seen it no one

tell me if it represents minorities well you know what chewbacca did it. At the end. You're like, and the person who did the murder was Chewbacca. The last shot is Chewbacca holding a smoking revolver. Who did he kill? The emperor. In the library. It was Chewbacca, Star Wars clue. With a candlestick. I don't know why he has the smoking gun.

It's really weird how Chewbacca limps away, but then shakes off the wind. Oh, yeah. Didn't have it. Yeah, you just see his feet walking. And then you sort of put the story together based on clues from a corkboard bod. Yeah, and it's all the clips of Chewbacca talking over the movie. Roar, roar, roar. A mug smashes and it says Alderaan on the bottom.

The entire movie is narrated by Chewbacca in his nonverbal growl. Nonverbal kint over here. My favorite thing about Usual Suspect we're can we just shift to that the corkboard thing like i understand that you have to do it for the movie to work and for the twist to work but what a bad liar that he can't just make up words of his fat person yes like he needs to use names from the bottom of his mug you're just asking to be caught is it his own mug or is it the other guy's it's the other guy's yeah that's right don't mind because he can't or not uh

jazz palminteri because he can't be looking at the bottom of his head anyway my friend dishwasher My friend, uh, mug. Anyway, so we, uh, uh, we just stuck around the house that day. And, um, at, uh, uh, like six o'clock we had dinner and it was all, uh, Abby had started getting cramps. Yeah. And those turned into contractions at like eight or nine, no, maybe seven. And, um, so we, she stayed in bed and okay. She has this app that was timing the contractions. Right. And they would start to get like painful.

Ugh. And, but she has this button that like, while you're having a contraction, you hit the, hit the, your app screen and it turns everything red. And then when the contractions over, it turns it green. And so I knew not to talk to her while it was red. Yeah. And,

uh, but the, as the night went on, it was red a lot more. Yeah. So at, at 10 o'clock, she,

what do people do without the app? I don't know. Who's got a pad of paper? Stopwatch or something? Just writing on a pad of paper, red. Just coloring a sheet. You tell me when to stop coloring. So I got this many lines done this time.

And so we called the midwife at 10, and the midwife said, well, why don't you get in the bath? And that might speed things up. It might slow things down. Who knows? You're doing a home birth. Nope.

Oh, just get in the bath just to, for a little bit of relief. Cause we're not ready to go to the hospital yet. All right. Uh, with these numbers that you're telling me. The, uh, the midwife in this scenario is so noncommittal to every, yeah, my work might not. It's different for different people. Yeah. Give this, try chewing some gum.

See if that doesn't hit me. Smoke. Yeah. And so at about 11, it was getting much worse or not much worse, but it's much more intense. And called the midwife again and said, the midwife said, okay, well, I should have a look. Do you me to meet you at your house? Or do you want me to meet you at the hospital? And we were like hospital. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Cause if you meet us at the house, who knows if we're ever getting out of this house. So we went to the hospital at 11 and I guess, oh, maybe about like 1140. Cause we weren't at the hospital very long. Yeah. We checked in and Abby was like, Hey, can I get that epidural? Can we get that epidural going? Yeah. Just as she's like filling out paperwork

and if it was a sitcom, they'd be like, it's too late for the epidural. You're going to have to do this yourself. And then your hand would have gotten crushed. Yeah. Sitcoms. And you would have made this sound. And then the doctor would ask Abby like, how are you doing, man?

And she's like, you better ask him. And so she went to, the midwife was there and we went to the examination room and she, uh, you know, put a stethoscope on the belly. Yeah. And, uh, it was so cold. stethoscope on the belly yeah and uh it was so cold um and so she you know did a couple examinations and then she said well i'd like to see how dilated you are but you might want to go pee first so abby went to the bathroom and then we were chit-chatting me and the midwife oh your partner went to go see star wars today too oh cool what's showing hey abby's been in there a long time should we check on her and then abby was like something's happening and so we had to race from like pull

up abby's pants race to the delivery room oh my god because things were getting started oh wow and no time for an epidural my hand is broken broken. Sitcom? This is a real sitcom. Like Abby jumped up on the table. No way a sitcom. Abby jumped up on the table. We had to like pull her shoes off. She didn't even get her head onto the pillow. She was like crooked on the table

Wow Yeah we had to race to this room Oh boy And then there were maybe six pushes Less than ten And that's it The baby was out The studio audience was like aww

Gunther was there Yeah exactly Why did Gunther show up I guess my chances were over I guess this ruins my Gunther was there Yeah Yeah exactly Why did Gunther Did he look He was like I guess my chances Were over Yeah I guess this ruined my

Did Gunther say something Yeah he had a really puffy Puffy Like bright green shirt Yeah yeah And a tie It was one of the episodes Where he had a line

And he He got Yeah and then we Had the baby We It was She was born at Twelve Twenty six On Christmas Eve He got the... Yeah, and then we had the baby. It was... She was born at 12, 26 on Christmas Eve. Baby Poppy. Poppy.

Poppy Shumka. And spent the night in the hospital and then went home in the morning. Welcome to the world, Poppy Shumka. Thanks. That was... So only six. That is like a sitcom. Everything about this was perfectly sitcom. It was... So only six? That is like a sitcom. Everything about this was perfectly sitcom.

It was half an hour. Wow. It wasn't even to be continued. Then straight home or spend the night in the hospital? Spend the night in the hospital. I spend the night... They have a little mattress you can sleep on the floor. Fun.

If you're a husband. Oh, you didn't get the bed and she had to sleep on the floor a water bowl next to your mattress it is it's like a really narrow like there's no room for for the husband there no and so she yeah we were home by like 11 that morning and then the city uh hasn't't picked up garbage in a month. And so we've been drowning in diapers. Yeah. No, they did just pick up garbage after a month. That's because of the snow.

But we did have like a pile of garbage indoors for a while. Yeah. Yeah. That's been all Vancouver the whole past month has been like. Live with your trash, man. This is how much trash you make. This is because just too much ice? Yeah.

Not very much. Yeah, not that much ice, but just enough for the city to have, you know, culpability. Full meltdown. Yeah. Oh, that's so nice. Yeah, was nice although it's the last few weeks have been margo the the or my two-year-old has been kind of getting cabin fever because you know we've been stuck inside with the snow and a pile of diapers and like the the daycare classes she

goes to weren't on during the the christmas break right so we've we've just now gotten back into it how is she with the now that she's not the only the only uh she it was weird it was like christmas day no one wanted to we had a brand new baby so we were like let's just stay home but we want i wanted to give margo i guess we all wanted to give margo a good christmas so i i took her out to uh my parents house where all of her cousins were opening presents and stuff. And we took the baby out for dinner for Chinese food. Yeah. And yeah, no, Margo's, she doesn't like having to share Abby's lap.

Ah, yes. But other than that, she's cool with it. She's cool. The lap. Yeah. She'll say, baby sister, go away, which sounds harsh. But it really just means get off that lap. Yeah, but she doesn't have an expanded enough vocabulary to say, baby sister, I hate you.

But she does. She'll do like a gentle kiss on the baby's head. And that's nice Yeah Ah Gentle with the baby Mm-hmm Aw That's nice

Does she feel like She's the mum? She's not the mama I'm not asking if she is I was just quoting dinosaurs Oh I see Well that's you

She's not the mama But we do have a baby. Gotta love me. Yeah. Oh, wow. No, she doesn't feel like she's the mom. She feels like she's a separate person who is... Who is not getting her fair share of lap.

Right. Yeah. But she's pretty good at kind of occupying herself. Yeah. For a two-year-old. Well, I hope they get along. Oh, they're going to be besties. Oh, yeah. I mean, until they're not. Oh, boy. Right? Sibling rivalry.

Sitcom. Yeah, this is what I'm saying. Boy, this guy loves sitcom. We named our new baby Gunther. Your old baby Marcel. After bit characters on Friends. That's fun. So, yeah.

Two babies. What a blessing. Two babies. Two little ones in the house. Yeah. Pitter patter. And then when Graham comes over. Oh, boy.

Bromper stopper. Got to change his diaper. What's going on with you,ham uh nothing that the you know wonderful i hear you're trying to get into anime yeah yeah i'm trying to i mean you know i've i've heard some pretty good arguments for it uh i uh everyone that was a little rude yeah i don't know if i'm ready for the rudeness of anime. But when I was, I went and visited my family for a couple of days. And while I was in Calgary, I went to the brand new.

Calgary. Calgary. I went to the brand new Canadian Music Center. I saw this. Yeah, which is a gigantic building that they built specifically. Like, it's got a Canadian Music Hall of Fame. And it's got a Canadian music hall of fame and it's got like a whole floor dedicated just to like, you know, the science of music.

And they have all these, uh, you know, famous instruments. Oh, okay. It, that's what it started as.

It started as a collection of famous instruments. What are the famous Canadian instruments? Well, it's not, I know that Burton Cummings puked on. It started not necessarily with Canadian famous instruments. Like this is how the whole movement got started with somebody who's collecting famous pianos. Oh, okay.

And they had like. John Lennon's white piano. Well, they have Elton john that he wrote most of uh goodbye yellow brick road on and uh they have did he physically write on it yeah you can see oh yeah wait music notes written on it so this yeah all right so this is not canadian no no that's how it started and then this society sprang up around this collection. And then they kind of petitioned for, let's make a Canadian, kind of like a Canadian Music Hall of Fame. Because we don't have one.

Because we don't have one. So that was what started it. And then they got all sorts of sponsors on board. And it's huge. It's this huge, it's beautiful building. Is it like, I don't know cn tower space needle yeah it's like it's neat like that okay and uh but they did they had a lot of famous canadian memorabilia you posted a picture of cory hart sunglasses cory hart sunglasses from

sunglasses at night the ones he wears at night Amazing. Do they have the black cars from Gino Vannelli's Black Cars Look Better? Probably in storage somewhere. Do they have Brian Adams' first real six string? Yep. They had the soda from Might As Well Go For A Soda. Do they have Kim Mitchell's little hat? Do they have his patio lantern? It's all Kim Mitchell.

Do they have Kim Mitchell? Was he there? He's struggling in a class a here's the thing they have one room that was this was going to be it was a rotating do they have mike reno's red pants they had all the outfits of the band triumph uh so they had like three outfits from that band which i didn't i was like i don't remember what they look like but then you see the outfits you're like oh yeah tiny guys really tiny small really really skinny thin hips real boy yeah that makes that's literally what makes you a star yeah oh yeah if you have tiny hips thin hips you know yeah but they had a A room that's a Rotating exhibit

And so this The month I was there It's uh It was all Tom Cochran Oh Yeah they had a Tom Cochran They had a piece of the highway Yeah

A piece of the highway They had They had his His outfit from the cover Of that album That's his famous album Mad Mad World Yeah

And so that full outfit Is in a case Wait a minute And You you only see his face in that it's a leather jacket oh yeah leather jacket and jeans maybe okay uh the face yeah yeah his face is in there from mission impossible full mask um they had uh yeah they had a bunch of the instruments that he used on that album and all of his like gold records and stuff there's like all stuff i guess he had donated and then the top floor was all the that was where it was like memorabilia it was like a hard rock cafe yeah yeah yeah it was uh

they had a suit from michael buble they had a suit yeah yeah I know It could have been Anybody's suit Really Did they have any Of Shania Twain's When she hosted The Junos All the hockey themed They had the

Toronto Maple Leafs one That's nice Yeah I'm glad I guessed one See how many else You can guess I remember all the ones In that example

Okay Do they have Alanis Morissette's No Alanis Morissette Ch? No Alanis Morissette. Chantel Kraviazic? Nope. Nope. Not in this, not in the memorabilia wing.

Like these are outfits. These are all the different, there was like a room that was just put in. Sarah McLachlan? Nope. Think iconic outfits. Canadian iconic outfits. Oh. Can you give me an era?

All different eras. There was one guy that it was a thing that he always used on stage from the 70s. Was it Neil Young? Was there a Neil Young? There was no Neil. Oh, maybe there was a, there was, he had like a fringy jacket. Sure. That wasn't in this room.

That was like on a lower level, but. Oh boy. I love this game. I'm sorry, listener. This is going to be really boring but i love it yeah uh david usher's silk all his silks yeah do they have rain made a pile of silks and did they have his silk they didn't have his silk do they have uh the outfits that b441 wore in the get down video they have Prozac's animated outfits.

They had some animated outfits. Oh, boy. Any Anne Murray? No, I don't think they had any Anne Murray. Not in this outfit. Bryan Adams? Double denim? No.

Who the hell else is there? We've named them all. Do they have... Celine. No, they have... Celine. No, not a... No Celine. There was extensive Celine sprinkled throughout the whole building. Bare Naked Ladies?

No. Good guess, though. Yeah. Thanks. The hip? Any hip? No, there was a hip display. Some of the hats, maybe?

No. No. Because I know the guys in Triumph had very thin hips. Yeah. So there was triumph the the rush was about rush they had uh what's his name's drums uh from rush like a crazy crazy hockey it was like all the hockey teams on it i guess he played it on the uh hockey night in canada theme uh so that drum set was there. We are not doing very well.

Okay. Well, think of a woman from like the 90s, early 2000s. Very fashion. Avril? Avril. Of course. Oh, they had like her converse sneaks. Her necktie.

With the necktie. Oh, the necktie. Yeah. They had that. They had one of Deadmau5's heads. Helmets, yes. I didn't know he was Canadian. Yeah.

Finally, a reason to be proud. He's on our national basketball team. The suit for Michael Bublé. They had a Stompa Tom Connors, one of his boards that he kicked through during a show. Did they have the spiked bracelet from Headley? I don't know what you're talking about. Spiked leather wristband from Headley. I don't know there was any Headley in the museum.

No Headley. I don't think so. Yeah, I didn't see any Headley. Burn it down. Start over again. They had a dress from Rita McNeil. Okay. They had, and then who else?

The Shania Twain outfit. And then in that memorabilia, that's where they had the Corey Hart sunglasses, which to me was the best. That's great. That was the highlight. They had the piano that Burton Cummings wrote these eyes on. That's the one. They had the piano that Burton Cummings wrote these eyes on. That's the one. And it was cool. If you're ever in Calgary, go check it out.

That's the place to go. If you want to see all of Tom Cochran's stuff. Which you do. You kind of do. Regular size. You know. Yeah, he's an average size guy. Those Triumph guys, though, so skinny.

So tiny. Did you know that Michael Jackson and Fred Astaire had the same measurements? No. Really? Really? Double Ds. Both Ds stand for dick. No, I think, and also, like, Prince and Freddie Mercury, tiny little waists.

Yeah. Well, Avril Lavigne, her outfit, she's a tiny, tiny little. She's just a teenager. That's true. Still. Yeah. It's weird that she had that surgery that allowed her to stay a teenager. Is it weird?

Yeah. If we could afford it, wouldn't we? Yeah. Can I make it any more obvious? She was a punk. Yeah. He did ballet. what more can i say was uh yeah were your punk friends in the afro probably that's who got us in

but she was a trojan horse sid vicious was somewhere deep but it was avril first um i remember having this exact conversation about her backing band. I believe they were called Closet Monster. Oh. And I remember someone saying like, oh, sure, sure. Like Avril stinks, but Closet Monster rules. You got to hear their solo, their stuff. And I don't think that was necessarily true, but I definitely bought it.

They were probably kicked to the, were they not kicked to the curb when she was discovered like didn't they say like no we'll take her i think they were hired to be her back oh but i think she dated one of them and that kind of ruined the having them as the backup band because they broke up i don't remember i mean it's been a while since i thumbed through her sure but you would go to a 7-eleven and they would just have an Avril Lavigne magazine. Yeah, Avril. I'd still have a subscription to that. Ranger Rick and Avril.

Yeah, it's things. I have a lot of the issues are about Chad Kroger. It's very Chad Kroger. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Do you forget about that? Yeah. I was remembering she married the guy from Sum 41. Yeah. yeah. I forgot about that. Do you forget about that? Yeah. I was remembering she married the guy

from Sum 41. Yeah. Were they married, too? Yeah. We would be. Well, you know what? We wish the whole gang of them the best.

Yeah. And a happy birthday. Yeah, happy birthday to all of them. Do we want to move on to some Overheard? Yeah. Life can be fun

Don't get carried away. You gotta do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You gotta shine your shoes. You gotta sweep the floor. You gotta clean your house. You gotta do some more. Take care of business.

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make websites. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah and uh come see my website hi i'm comedian emily heller and i'm cartoonist lisa hannah walt and we're the hosts of baby geniuses do you want to learn weird new facts do you like hearing successful creative women talk about their poop do you want the scoop on martha stewart's pony if you answered yes to any of these questions our show is for you. We interview people like Paulette Tompkins. Kristen Schaal. Michael Che.

And more. So check us out on Maximum Fun. And let us mess with your brain. Yes, please. I'm Bez. And I'm Teresa. And we host the weekly comedy podcast, One Bad Mother. We celebrate our moments of

parenting genius as well as our failures just like we're gonna have hot dogs and i'm like no we're having fun everybody loves hot dogs yeah and it just like smashes that thing right on my chest and then i'm just crying in the middle of like kids space while people are like literally dancing with their children parenting can be sad and painfully funny at the same time so join us each week as we admit that this is hard but we're getting really good at it find us at maximumfun.org or wherever you download podcasts overheard overheard it's a segment in which we hear those things and then we talk about them here so you can hear those things we always like to start with the guest you ready to go you locked and loaded a little world a little uh overheard yeah yeah yeah okay did i tell you about this last time i was here because this is like a bit old

but i was just thinking about it again when i was at the movie force majeure did i tell you okay this is a good one what is the movie this is a movie i can't remember which country made it not an english is it a modern movie from a couple years ago yeah yeah i remember this name force majeure it was a really really terrific movie and uh i like movies with french names like arbitrage oh yeah this is probably a french movie force majeure uh it But it was Swiss or something. But anyways, about this family that goes skiing. And then some shit goes down at the ski lodge. Right.

The story is, I was sitting in the theater with my girlfriend. And it's like three quarters, two thirds of the way through the movie. And it's this really poignant scene where he has sort of, he's in a bad place with regard to his family. And he is questioning who he is, this main character. Right. How did I get here? This isn't my beautiful house.

Yeah. And so that song plays in full. And then he goes like to the, to ski at the top of the mountain in this sort of fresh. There's water at the top of the mountain. And there's like fresh powder thing and it's like he's skiing but we're living, we're like living the subtext, you know what I mean? Right.

It's like no one else is around, he is alone, he is cutting new trails, we're living it. Yeah. And it's like silence in the soundtrack, poignant moment, very sad. Yeah. And then I don't know what the background is that led this gentleman who was sitting near us in the movie theater to say what he did,

but I'm assuming he was completely dead asleep for most of the movie and then just woke up and was lacking in all context for why this scene might have caused you to not comment out loud on it. But he said, somewhat quietly but very clearly, from four seats down, oh, great powder. Oh, man, like it was CGI. Yeah, man, they really rendered that powder. They were the first film crew out on that powder that day.

Like it was a skiing documentary. Gnarly. It was pretty great. Chukin' down fresh powies, bro. It's been a while since I've been in a movie where somebody was clearly asleep. Oh, you know what? I remember the exact movie, too too but i can't remember what it's called it had bill murray and robert duvall in it and it was about a guy who wants to like

what era uh this is like three years ago oh it was so slow like it's the it's one of the slowest movies i've ever seen i remember you liked it yeah it was good it was but he like uh the guy down the row for me was like fell asleep and not halfway through like like pretty quick into it was like i why go to a movie if you're that drowsy well you got 16 bucks to burn burning a hole in your pocket um i yeah i haven't i've never fallen asleep in a movie theater but i would i would definitely be at risk of that these days yeah like i don't i can i fall asleep at nine o'clock watching tv sure oh yeah you wouldn't want to go to a nine o'clock movie because oh boy that's you're practically begging to fall asleep that's all if not if nine o'clock your hour yeah man if that's the sleeping hour yeah and you go to a nine o'clock movie well then

then you know what's gonna happen you're gonna fall asleep it's not gonna fall asleep on a nine o'clock flight though i'll tell you that no no can't do it okay can't do it on the plane no do you have any more you said you had a couple did you do have more or no? Do you want to hear two more? Yeah. Do you want to do them now or do you want us to go around? I'll squeeze them in real quick. Okay. All right.

So this other one is just a story that a little kid told me on a set, a film set, and it was very funny. He was just telling me a story about how his little brother was insolent. He's like a 13-year-old kid telling me about his 12-year-old brother. And he's like, he's going through a real phase right now And I said oh this is great tell me about your brother's phase And he said well we were sitting at dinner the other day And my dad asked him to please pass the salt

And he said why? He's questioning everything Why does dad want the salt? That is a good one And then the last one is just this is like a it's overheard many times but i've been watching a lot of basketball and uh for some reason like sometimes is it boom shakalaka that you overheard i heard he's heating up and i couldn't handle it and uh the first you know like sometimes how, uh, sports announcers have to slide,

um, like promotional lines into just sort of casually like old radio broadcasts before the age of separate, uh, commercials or whatever. Yeah. It was brought to you by Smuckers. Exactly.

So sometimes they'll do that, but they won't. Thursday nights, check out Blackish on ABC. So that's exactly it. But the promo that I've've i heard dozens of times leading up to christmas was uh every time and it was always in the course of conversation so it always come out of nowhere they'd just be talking about a guy hitting a free throw or

whatever and they'd be like oh jack of all the guys his daughter could have chosen why him i heard the promo for why him and i heard that james franco james franco and i heard it dozens of times and i heard these two toronto raptors announcers just slowly get defeated by this awful promo but you can always hear them walking right up to the edge of commenting on how little they wanted to do it never quite breaching contract yeah why of all the guys his daughter could have chosen why him jack why him it just throws his other commentator under the bus Why haven't they? Did you see that guy who was doing free throws underhand? Yeah

That's cool Bringing it back And he's good He does well at it Is he a raptor? No Is he? No

He's a young Houston Rockets prospect And apparently his percentage is much better When he does a granny shot So far he's only been in the league For a couple minutes And he's only had a chance To shoot two of them But he hit them both Well

Bruce in the I mean before Before he was in the league Oh yeah in the In the D league Sure Shoots them well The guy who used to

I'm coming up on the D league Tonight Same free throw No matter what league you're in I don't know You know No points for looking cool. No.

Well, there's sponsorships. Yeah. You can make a lot of money looking cool. Although maybe you'll get sponsored by some granny company. Granny Smith Apples. Yeah, Granny Smith Apples. Smucker's Jam. You know, with that.

Eddie Bauer for women. That chair. Enid Bauer. That lets you sit up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. While you're in a magic adjustable bed. Yeah, sure. Tub with a door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. While you're in a adjustable bed. Yeah, sure. Tub with a door.

Yeah, alert. Alarm alert. Wheelchair stair aid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Elevator. All people think. Yeah. Remotes with giant buttons on it.

Sure. Giant button remote. Magnifying glass that's the shape of a credit card. Give me your wallet. It's the best. Dave, do you have anything we've heard? Barely. Okay. We've been going to a few hockey games lately.

Go Canucks Go. Canada's team, the Vancouver Canucks. And we were, I was walking to the, uh, arena one night and I heard this woman talking to her husband or boyfriend about team names and how teams are, the name usually has something to do

with the environment. Like with your, with something local. Right. You know, Toronto Raptors. Yeah. Notwithstanding. Atlanta Thrashers etc yeah yeah uh but we were playing the colorado avalanche and she was like i mean i guess they have them there

but it's pretty negative yeah yeah just florida do they have panthers down in florida i don't know but there are yeah maybe it's's not 100% of the time. But the whole idea of the name is that it's supposed to be negative because it's like, we're coming to beat you. Yeah, exactly. You don't want it. It's threatening. It's not.

It's like the Vancouver Handshakes. Exactly. Well, some of them are. I think in the olden days, they didn't know. They didn't know. They were like the Los Angeles Lakers were the Minneapolis Lakers Minneapolis Lakers

yeah and so they're like lakes yeah we love lakes that's true those are the nice ones my favorite names by far

are the ones where the team it made sense for the area and then they relocated oh yeah the Utah Jazz Utah Jazz so great I love that

I wish yeah I wish some other team would be the Pistons almost like some other city we don't have an auto industry some other team would be the Pistons. It's like some other city. We don't have an auto industry. Some American team gets the Canadians. What was, I think the Brooklyn Dodgers were called the Trolley Dodgers.

And then they moved. Oh, that's where it comes from. Because there was so much, you know. So much trolley action. So much trolley action. And they moved to LA. Fewer trolleys. Fewer trolleys, yeah. Yeah.

Although, at one point in time, LA, leading city in the country, trolley-wise. Roger Rabbit. Roger Rabbit. That's right. Best transportation system in the world, kids. Remember that part? When he hops on the back? Yeah.

What happened? General Motors bought it all up? Yeah, there was kind of a movement with, what's his name, Rockefeller, had a lot of friends in government and convinced them to tear up the trolleys and use gas-powered buses instead. So I guess the trolley used to be a thing, like everybody took the trolley, and then when buses come out, it was like, only poor people take the bus. So that was Rockefeller's doing thanks rocco now graham do you have an overheard i do i have a uh i was on a flight and uh have you ever uh seen somebody wearing a hat that bums you out as soon as you see the hat you're like oh man this is ruining my whole day uh i can pick up one president elect

although i guess president at this the time yeah yeah i saw a guy wearing a hat that said you i hate you mark little yeah i mean you're like what why would you come to my show and wear that hat was your dad wearing it at his 70th birthday? Dad. No, it was just like it was a hat that, you know, it's like obviously a handmade hippie kind of hat. Yeah. See, like your face did there. When I said handmade hippie, you were like, bleh. You got sad.

Look, I love all kinds of people and all kinds of hats. You're telling tales out of school. I never made a face. You did, too. So I saw this guy. He had a baby. I was like, oh, boy. So he's going to pass on this bad hat gene to her.

Although maybe not. Maybe she'll rebel against it. But him and his wife were sitting in front of me on the plane and they were a hippie real hippie couple and i hope i hope their daughter grows up to be such a square oh a stripper yeah poor son patchouli on me so uh then they were talking to their seat mate and uh they just the woman said the most hippie like it didn't start the most hippie thing but then it graduated into the most hippie thing because the woman that was seen next to her goes oh you look familiar do i know maybe i know you from somewhere she goes oh no i think i just have one of those faces or i'm a really old soul. Boo. Oh, boy. Right?

We all hate this couple. Yeah. And we hope that their kid rebels and becomes a cool kid. Cool Reagan style. Yeah, yeah. And a real Alex Beaky. Yeah, sure. A real Thatcher.

I never have the nerve to say, oh, you look familiar. Don't I know you from somewhere? I always am like, I think I know that guy. I'm just going to avoid him. Yeah, you look familiar from somewhere. Is from porn i'm a porno i'm a porno addict what's your favorite hole i'm in porn so that's where you know me from yeah i see you looking at me porn i'm from porn um i'm a tentacle guy. Now, we also have overheards that have been sent into us from around the world. If you want to send one into us, send it in to spy at maximumfun.org.

Dot porn. Dot porn. I'm a porn. Oh, I know where you know me from. I'm a porn. This first one comes from Claire B. This is in St. John's, Newfoundland. Claire Bear.

Correct. Good guess. I overheard this conversation between two guys as they were getting off work at the docks in St. John's, Newfoundland. Guy one, man, there's not much better than a beer and a smoke. Guy two, I don't know, I've been to bars with chips before. It is really nice when you go to a bar and they give you a bowl of chips. Oh yeah, that's good.

It feels good. I like popcorn too. At Five Guys you can eat peanuts, just throw the shells on the ground. It's good for the bar Get that salt up Buy more beer Everyone likes it Yeah there's a couple places in town that do the popcorn

Which is I was like why haven't they always been doing this It's a sneaky move It's great and you know what popcorn Secretly good for you Secretly fibrous Oh You don't have to have it all buttery and salty And you know what? Popcorn, secretly good for you. No. Secretly fibrous. Oh.

You don't have to have it all buttery and salty, do you? I do, I do. What if I dip- Or caramely. Yeah, you're like, well, my doctor said to eat more fiber, so I'm eating hot stuff. Caramel corn. And candied apples. I dip mine in full hot dogs. Is that a problem? You dip it in hot dogs. Yeah, do you have candied apples. I dip mine in full hot dogs. Is that a problem?

Dip it in hot dogs. Yeah, do you have candied hot dogs? Yeah. So crisp. You want that snap. Oh, boy. This next one comes from Aaron B. Aaron Baron.

Aaron Baron. From Honolulu, Hawaii. Oh, Couldn't get much further from Newfoundland We were at the park Attending a pirate themed kids party One little girl was fussing About not wanting to wear the party Favor eye patch all the kids received Another girl already wearing

An eye patch asked if she could have it The second girl handed The unwanted eye patch and the girl excitedly exclaimed, Now I have two! And immediately covered up her second eye. Nice. Lisa Both Eyes Lopez. Kids, right? Yeah, I mean, that's the dream of patching up both eyes.

Having hooks on both hand and pegs for both legs parrots on both shoulders shivering both timbers pirate stuff guys just slowly starving yeah can't get out of the what do you call where the captain sleeps the big bed yeah yeah can't get out of the big bed this throne room uh this last one comes from uh jeffrey t jeffrey teffrey in new york i'm walking i'm over here in here. I was at a Thanksgiving USA party yesterday and watching a bunch of kids playing video games in the basement. A four-year-old came into the room and picked up a DVD box off the shelf and said to her teenage cousin, I want to watch this movie.

The cousin said, no, we can't do that. The kid replied, why not? I want to watch this movie. The cousin the cousin replied well the movie isn't appropriate the kid then said in a curious voice why isn't it appropriate does someone fart on someone's face the postscript is that he's going through a father the kid's father was quite proud because earlier that week the kid had farted on his face. And he told her that it wasn't appropriate to do that. So that's the kid's definition of appropriate.

Inappropriate is rated R for farting on your face. Oh, you can't see Blair Witch. This movie gets pretty nuts at the end. You'll never guess what the witch does. Let's just say there is a witch. The's chaining in the corner just farting away um uh uh i forget what i was gonna say it was good though i was gonna i believe it so good yeah i want to believe it in addition to overheards that are written in we also accept your phone calls if you would like to call us our phone number is a doozy you're gonna love it once i give it to you because guys it's got all of the

digits you need to call us now all the guys in the world why him the number that you got to put in your phone is 1-844-779-7631 or UghSpyPod1, like these people have. Hey, Dave, Graham, and guests. This is Nicole. I'm calling in with an overheard. It was actually said to me. So I work part-time at a casino, and I was working on the floor. A guest came up to me with their suitcase and their coat and everything.

casino and I was working on the floor. A guest came up to me with their suitcase and their coat and everything. And they said that they had just checked out of the hotel and they had forgotten something in the fridge. So they were wondering if I could call back to the front desk to see if it was at the front desk or at the lost and found. They didn't want to go all the way back to the hotel. So they were asking me to give them a call. So I said, sure. So I called the front desk and I told them the situation. They say that everything is usually sent to the lost and found, and asked what item it would be that their guest was looking for. So I asked the guest, and they told me it was a Reuben sandwich, a very good Reuben sandwich.

It'll be in the lost and found waiting for you. Yeah. Next time you come here. In the cryogenic freezer. We kept it perfectly preserved. We need to get back and get that Reuben sandwich. It's too far to walk, but I just want to know if it's there. A Reuben is a sandwich that was like, at my high school cafeteria, it was once a week, Reubens.

And I hated them. What is it? Chicken and bacon? Or is that a club? No, it's a club. What's a Ruben? Sauerkraut? Maybe sauerkraut, cheese, and pastrami or something?

Is it pastrami? I don't know. Now I would love it. It's a real go to a deli and have a sandwich kind of sandwich. Yeah, but I guess it's easy enough to make a million of them. Yeah. It's also a stinky breath sandwich, which was my biggest fear in high school. Oh, right.

You always keep a, what were you like a Cloretz man? That's getting tough with my breath. That was something that they used to have. They used to have tons of commercials for Cloretz and I don't see them anymore. Oh, yeah. Cloretz, because were they the first company to come out with Retsin? No, Retsin is a Sertz. Oh, Sertz. It's only Sertz. What's Retsin? no Retsin is a Serts what's Retsin?

it's a fake thing what? it's like when they say that a gasoline has Tecron? yeah Tecron it's like a fake it's a fake additive wait Tecron's not real? well what is it? I don't know

I don't know what anything is, even if it is real Do you notice your Chevron working better than your Esso or your Shell? Yeah, because of the Tecron Oh my god What are your breath fresheners that have commercials? Tic Tacs? Yeah, all the gums All the gums

You know, five Clorets used to You know what doesn't, but a lot of people use what are those little tiny mints that come in the white altoids oh frisk frisk you never see ads for frisk but you always have frisk and um uh what was the one they used to have ads for breath savers they don't have and was it breath savers was like a white life saver that was my go-to in high school with a yeah with a but there wasn't the circle was kind of a hole in the middle. Filled in with blue.

Filled in with Retsin. Oh, that was the word. That's Retsin. That's Retsin. Yeah. Oh, I loved the Retsin. Put some of that in your gas tank so you have your car performance. Do you remember, was it Wintogreen?

Wintogreen? Gum? No, Lifesavers. That there was like, I don't know if it was true or not, but if you bit one in the dark, there was a spark. Yeah. Is that true? I don't know. You too, but here's your next phone call. Hey, Darren Cram, this is

Sam from Los Angeles calling in with an overheard. My semester at college just ended a few days ago and I was walking into my room the day before finals, and my roommate, who is my good friend but just a real goofball airhead, was watching Saving Private Ryan at like 2 in the afternoon, which I probably avoided and started working at my desk. And a little later, I just heard from his side of the room,

brr, brr, brr, brr, man, World War II is, like, really bad. I mean, where's the World War I? Yeah, people are split. People at the time called World War I the Great War. They loved it. The war to end all wars, wasn't it? Yeah, they loved it. They thought it was the number one war. And then sequel came out and they were like i don't know but

then it was a whole new cast of characters but some of your favorites were back like who was real wilson yeah well winston churchill i think he was probably around for the first one hitler fought in the first world war. He came back for the sequel. The Japanese were the new guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Private Ryan, new, fun new edition. Is that based on a true story you save for Private Ryan or was that a fiction, straight up

fiction? I think it was fiction. I mean, the war was you know, happening. Right. It's true fiction. I didn't know you did a rap A favorite private riot rap Favorite private riot rap Until moments before

And I was like Oh I hope this is one of the calls I chose Pretty good A credits rap A summarizing credits rap That's what you did? Yeah like the end of like Monster Squad or like

What are some other examples? Well, Men in Black. Men in Black, yeah. Oh, okay. Or, you know, credits rap. Ghostbuster 2. And just sort of,

yes. Ninja Turtles. And the rap summarizes the movie? It summarizes the movie. Now I don't have to see the movie. No, you can just watch the rap.

Watch those credits scroll. Here's your final overheard of 2017. Oh my god. Hey Dave, Graham, and guests. This is Ben calling from New Orleans. We were recently shopping in sort of a gifted jewelry shop. And there was a woman in there working with the shopkeeper to try and find a gift for her mom. And the shopkeeper said, well, we have some jewelry.

And the woman who was looking for a gift said, well, my mom's kind of crazy, so she doesn't wear necklaces. And the shopkeeper, trying to be diplomatic, said, oh, that doesn't make her crazy. Maybe she just has her own personal style. And the woman responded, no, she thinks that she was beheaded in a past life, so she doesn't like anything around her neck.

And the shopkeeper responded, Oh, okay, well, I guess we have some bracelets. How did she feel about getting her hands lopped off? She had her hands lopped off in a past life. She was stealing bread from an Arabian stall. She was stealing bread from an Arabian stall. But like really throwing your own mother under the bus there with this person helping you out at the counter, you know? Your mom's not crazy.

She is. Let me tell you why. What about a lip ring? No. Lip lop. She got a little lip lop in her past life. Her lip was lopped off off Now that brings us to the end Of this episode of the podcast

At the very end, huh? At the very end This will come out Oh, I have a question, Graham Yeah, yeah You're overheard The ones you read Are usually from so long ago

You read one from American Thanksgiving American Thanksgiving Yeah, really catchy Okay, good Yeah I mean, by the next time we record a podcast, maybe not. Maybe there will be a new onslaught.

Oh, sure. A new hope. I'm familiar with that term. What is that from? It's from a porn. It's from a porn that spoofed the Bob Hope Bing Crosby Road movies. That's what you recognized my face from? A porn?

A new hope? A poo hope. No, come on. Oh, come on. Shaving Ryan's privates over here. Yeah. This will come out on the 22nd? Yeah. 23rd.

Do you have anything coming up? End of January? February? That you want to plug? No, man. Nah, nothing. Don't worry about it. By the end of then you know Write me and ask me how my fantasy season's going

I'll have an update For sure Who's your best player Kyle Lowry Number 7 from your Toronto Raptors Of all the guys His daughter could have chosen

Why him? Well, if you don't follow Mark Little on Twitter You should Because hilarious I'm out there You're having fun You do a lot of fun things on Twitter Oh, you're not really doing it anymore

You had a fun thing going for a while with your mom Yeah That was strictly on Facebook So Are you sure? Not really getting it out there No, no, wasn't it like You were trying to be a good while with your mom. Yeah. That was strictly on Facebook. Are you sure? I'm really getting it out there. No, no. Wasn't it like you were trying to be a good boy for your mom?

Yeah. Good boy, number one son. Wasn't that? I was number one son for a bit. Well, on Facebook. So there's this whole thing where my mom had, I was trying to make good Mother's Day things for my mom and then they were not sufficient. And then I ended up, my mom ended up taking over.

Oh, yeah, right. And then occasionally she would just let slip that I was in the hospital and being kept under sedation. What was on Twitter? On Twitter, I think it was kind of just like a Coles notes of that. Oh, okay. Like, if you're not over on Facebook, let me give you the rundown. I think on Twitter I was a bit nervous of doing that.

I don't know. Why do I get nervous? Why? Who cares? Yeah, you're very funny online you should follow it what is it's at mark mark little it's at mark mark little and you can follow my other account at nazis for trump number four or the words for it's for the number four this is the number for Okay now That's for Trump

That's uh I think yeah I have a feeling Anyway this is not the way To end a podcast Oh yeah Anyone thinking about Quitting Twitter

You know the whole thing You read that uh Oh because what Trump No way No Did you read um What's her name um

God damn it Oh Lindy West Lindy West Yeah But you know It's easy cause Lindy West Is she's famous. She doesn't need Twitter anymore.

What about us plebs? Us working Joes. Yeah. Schmoes. Yeah. We got to plug a thing. It says Nazis for Twitter doesn't exist. Doesn't exist?

No, sorry. Nazis for Twitter, I shouldn't have said. Oh, no. Nazis for Trump. Never mind. Nazis for Twitter. Nazis for Twitter. I'm starting that.

So no, no, anything on the horizon no no specific things to plug no i don't well we were joking about this but last year when i was here i was plugging space riders season two it was season two of my very dumb uh web series that i made with dan burn in toronto and uh so last year i was plugging it at this time saying we just need the special effects crew is just cranking out some last minute things. And then when I showed up, this is some behind the curtain stuff for your listeners. When I showed up and you guys were asking me before the show if there was anything I would end up wanting to plug. I said, well, Space Riders season two is coming out soon. And then you reminded me that it's been a full year since I last said those exact words.

And it's in the exact same spot we think it's coming out soon it just needs some special effects it's your chinese democracy this is my chinese democracy and i am getting grosser by the day you're bucketheading left and right uh uh well thank you very much For being a guest Thanks for having me Oh It's a joy And thank you out there For listening

If you like the podcast Head over to Maximumfun.org We have a couple of things To plug Oh okay See us in Vancouver February 23rd

Sure See us in Banff March 4th I think Chicago is sold out Oh yes Head over to Maximumfun.org Check out the blog Recap 4th. I think Chicago is sold out. Oh, yes. Head over to MaximumFun.org.

Check out the blog recap. Pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. Maybe Miss Sarajevo. Oh, sure. Absolutely. The Backstreet Boys' questionable fashion choices. Sure. Full streamed episodes of anime. Yeah, some sort of anime um a rude tentacle cheeky

um and if you like the podcast tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.