Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 464 - Scott Thompson

Episode Date: February 6, 2017

Scott Thompson of the Kids in the Hall joins us to talk robotic/exotic pets, punk rock, and hair texture.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 464 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark, and with me as always is a man... Uh, hmm... Hmm... What do I say about this man? Well, you came prepared today.

Yeah, he's not a big tea guy. More of a coffee man. Yeah. And, uh, but you know what? I discovered that the hard way sorry about that people i'm not supposed to be here yet mr dave schumke we started before we started the show we had a uh great talk about racism while drinking the beverages of other cultures oh that's true yeah we we uh yeah coffee's from columbia oh it's all over brazil it's all over man all over

everywhere java everywhere but here yeah everywhere in that band you know around the equator Yeah, coffee's from Colombia? Oh, it's all over. Brazil? It's all over, man. All over. Everywhere. Java. Everywhere but here. Yeah. Everywhere in that band, you know, around the equator. Yeah. The tea and the coffee band is the same band. Is that right?

Which I think is fascinating. It's one of my favorite bands. Yeah. Bam, the Stones. It's like this certain, you know, it has to be very close to the equator, and tea and coffee. That says something about tea and coffee, doesn't it? I don't know what it says, but they're cousins this they're meant to be together this voice

you're hearing this is our guest today uh a member of the kids in the hall now touring as a stand-up comedian yes uh the very very funny mr scott thompson thank you very much thank you are we on now yes we are now we're happening okay. That greeting, that was a great greeting, though. Thank you. Yeah, really good. Did you have like a sparring kind of a relationship? Yeah, yeah. We've been doing this a long time.

Okay, good. Have you really done 464? No, that's a joke. So how many have you done? No, yeah. We have been doing this a long, we have been doing this since George W. Bush was president. Oh, wow. Oh, so you were right in the beginning.

Yeah. But we understand when anybody's like, I don't know if I want to do that. Do you make money on it? A little bit. How do you do it? Donors. Donors. Yeah.

We're part of a network that gets donors. So in other words, they're donating limbs and organs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they bank them for later. Yeah, yeah. That's nice. Every year we do a pledge drive and we get a few organs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they bank them for later. Yeah, yeah. That's nice. Every year we do a pledge drive and we get a few kidneys. Oh, good.

And then we sell them on whatever market we buy them. Oh, wonderful. Into the coffee and tea band. Yeah, yeah. They need them there. The spice, what's it called? The spice? Spice road?

Silk road? Silk road. The silky spice road. Silky spice road. So silky, so spicy. Not as roadie as it used to be. Do you want to get to know us? Oh yeah, yeah. Get to know us. Scott. Uh oh. Oh god. Tea went down the wrong hole. There we go. Why stand-up all of a sudden? Like not not all of a sudden. The last couple of years.

Yeah. I've been, you know, and I played with it my whole career, but I never really considered myself a stand-up until the last six, seven years. Yeah. Because I really went for it. And you're actually, like, playing... Clubs. Clubs.

Like, real clubs. Yeah, you're not just, like, showing up on a weekend and telling stories. No. You're doing actual jokes. I'm doing, I have a real act. You have an act. A lot of jokes. Yeah.

And I go into real clubs. It's not just little, you know, it's not just really like safe spaces. It's very unsafe spaces. And I'm doing it because I can now. Yeah. I mean, when I was young, it wasn't really possible to be a stand-up comedian the way I was. Yeah. You couldn't really be honest.

I can't think of anybody from that era that would have been. There wouldn't have been. There has never been an openly gay? No. It was unheard of. Yeah, because even. It wasn't done. No, yeah.

It did not exist. Yeah, because even... It wasn't done. No, yeah, you're right. It did not exist. No, comedy, when I started out, was extremely rough and very homophobic. I mean, it was actually part... One of the pillars of comedy was homophobia. Yeah, that's true.

So I created Buddy Cole, I think. What are the great four pillars of comedy? Well, sexism, homophobia, fear of the other, and booze. I think that's the four. Yeah, that's how you of the other, and booze. I think that's the form. Yeah, that's how you build a house. Or booze pot. Drugs. Yeah, drugs.

Hey, who out there likes to get high? Yeah, I could have. And then if there's people who want to put in bad childhoods and self-loathing. Sure. And those also. That makes you good. Yeah. I mean, that's a very stable building to have so many pillars.

That is. It is. It is. So, you know, I started doing stand-up like really like going at it hard was when I got cancer. After I got, I had cancer. I got cancer. 2009. Beat it.

I beat it. Oh, yeah, I beat it. I beat it. Still keep the hair real short, though. Well, that's an interesting story. Remind me of why I did this later because there's a there's a story but it's a good head of hair yeah it is and that's the thing i'm like most men my age when they when they when they saw that i shaved my head they were pissed off yeah because you've got really good coverage yeah they're like what would you like it's like i'm i'm spitting in their face it's like i i hair, but I just choose not to have it. It's like when people with beautiful hair wear like a toque or then I get real like,

come on. So, you know, it's like great head of hair. Yeah, but I'm, it's, I'm growing it back.

But I, I, I just shaved it about a month ago because when I moved back to the States and I, I got, I wanted to reclaim my bald head because I, I liked being bald. I mean, I didn't like being bald head because I like being bald. I mean, I didn't like being bald because of chemotherapy. Right.

But I've always liked the aesthetic of a bald man. I've always preferred bald men. Also, in and out of the shower. Yeah, that's true. Right? Yeah. But stand-up, I just did stand-up because when I was very ill, I thought, well, I don't really have a lot to be afraid of anymore. And the world changed drastically in the last six, seven years.

Yeah. And I thought, oh, I can really just be myself. And I won't feel that. You know, when I used to perform before, I was on my own. You would feel the audience be upset and angry because it was only the last few years that the tipping point happened when suddenly the West went, ah,

I don't think that kind of homophobia is really cool anymore. And it had to reach like 50%. Uh, right. I had to reach that tipping point and it reached the tipping point in the last eight years. And so then suddenly, God,

you're welcome. Thanks to you guys and your, and your podcast 417. That was the one that did it. I'll never forget welcome. Oh, yeah. Thanks to you guys and your podcast, 417. That was the one that did it. I'll never forget that. Oh, I was so grateful. That's great. I was so grateful.

I was weeping the day that you said, guys, it's over. That kind of homophobia is over. Yeah. Let's get a new kind. Let's get into the subtle homophobia. Let's get into that subtle liberal homophobia where straight guys kiss each other and think it's hilarious. That's the new homophobia. And it's still.

Oh, people still hate fags. And it's still grounds for making a joke. Isn't it so funny that two men would kiss? Absolutely. And that's all liberal men doing it. Yeah. I mean, even the whole language of bromance is faintly homophobic. Yeah.

It's the idea that, oh, this is an acceptable way for men to be together. But I'm sick of people talking about bromances. It's like, hmm,

really? A bromance is when they fuck. Okay. It's a friendship. But then we would have had to see uh you know a seth rogan and uh who who else were in the bromance category oh you're uh uh what's jason siegel jason siegel do we want to see them having on-screen sex i i would

who was seth rogan's james franco yeah I'd see them fuck. Well, James Franco, sure. Of course. Everybody's on board to see him. I'd see him fuck a toaster. I would too. I did see him fuck a toaster. This is how potent he was. The toaster got pregnant. Wow.

With toast. It did. It gave birth to a genderless, chrome child. He's so progressive. Yeah. It's true. Some children are chrome. Other children children have skin they're still children i think that's a robot yeah yeah basically that's a robot speaking of which i was watching a this is this is a perfect time i was watching a documentary about

when uh the kids in the hall got back together in 1999. Oh, Abraham. My robot dog. The robot dog. Oh, boy. That robot dog really takes over the whole documentary. I know. And I have to apologize for that.

I completely hijacked that film with my robot dog madness. I haven't seen it. With my empty womb. My ticking clock. Do you want to explain why you got the... Well, I got the robot dog because I just knew that... Well, I mean, I knew robots were coming. And I knew that if I got the very first robot dog for the masses,

it would eventually be very, very valuable. Oh, okay. That was definitely an investment in my old age. So what was this thing? It was a robot dog. That was definitely an investment in my old age. So what was this thing? It was a robot dog. It was called an Aibo. And it's Japanese? From Sony. Yeah. And it was the very first, like... But it wasn't like the first off

the line. Well, yeah. Did you meet with the people at Sony and say... No, but they only made 5,000 of them, the first batch. And 4,000 of them killed each other. They did. Yeah. And I spent a lot of money on it. I don't know what

I just thought it would be a really good gag and a good thing to bring on the tour. Is it still? Do you still have it? Well, he's packed away in like, you know, chrome, actually. Oh, no. Yeah, chrome. Very bad. Chrome, like chips, pieces of chip chrome really

very heavy very heavy it's very heavy very heavy people said no scott not styrofoam yeah no he's allergic to styrofoam we're a chrome family yeah so he's packed away waiting for that day when i bring him out and then put him on you know um, eBay. Yeah, yeah. But I just thought it would be a fascinating thing to train him. So I had to throw out that tour. Yeah, you had to train it and teach it how to sleep and it would come awake. Yeah, and it was so abused. Like, I mean, I was raising him on a bus. So the poor thing by the end of it, was just very tragic.

It was very funny. It is funny. I knew it would be funny because I knew that I had no skills. And so I knew that my patheticness would be fun. I thought you were going to talk about that other documentary about the... Sex Robots. Oh, yeah. I just saw that too.

Oh, it's so good. Because you talked about it last week on the show. Yeah, it's really good. And I have since seen it. Have you noticed this on Netflix? That, like, everything gets five stars in the ratings. Everything. Mama's family.

Yeah, everything. Except anything that has sex in it. Oh, and then that gets lower? That gets, like, one or two stars. Oh, really? Sex robots has one star. One star? Yeah, it should get...

They should add an extra star. It's six. Yeah. It's fascinating. Well, and those, my favorite part is that the guys that they're following that want to have sex with robots,

when they ask them, would you have sex with this robot? They play it real close to the chest. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. I, I love the little,

um, like, like small talk that they do with the robot makers and the prospective clients. Like, oh, this one robot maker who's like, hey, he's obsessed with the idea that you could make a porno with these things. Is that the guy that's sweating all the time? Yeah. Oh, yeah, he's sad. Well, they're all sweating.

Yeah, they're all sweating. They're all kind of like horny and embarrassed. I swear when people say on a documentary, they've never told anyone. It's a deep, dark secret. And they're saying it on a documentary. That's the next level. It's the weirdest thing. My family doesn't know.

When they find out, it'll be disowned. I'm like, you're in a documentary. Are you going to blur my face? No? All right. Well, don't worry about it. There were no attractive robots. But then there was not one

that even kind of... Not one Jude Law. You know what I mean? No James Franco. No Daryl Hannah. No, none of those great... The robots we've wanted to fuck over the years. That's interesting. Start with the classic robots. Well, the two great ones are Jude Law and Daryl Hannah, right? Jude Law from Jude Law and Daryl Hannah, right?

Jude Law from AI. And Daryl Hannah from Blade Runner. Oh, Blade Runner, of course. And those were hot robots. They were. Hot bots. Hot bots. I mean, I would have no problems having sex with a really sexy robot.

I think technology is just not there yet. No, and I will. I'm going to because the guy who's saying do you want to make a hey what do you think about making a porno with these he he doesn't mean you have sex with one and film it he means make two of them have sex and you film it and they're like they move they have sex they thrust like those thrusting was awful. Those cars that like bounce. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Those muscle car.

Yeah. But then, yeah. Will that become its own? Of course it will. Of course it will. That'll become its own fetish. It's robots having sex with other robots and a robot having sex with a toaster and a toaster. Eventually.

Yeah. All these things. Well, I mean, I think it's pretty evident that eventually they're going to achieve consciousness. Mm-hmm. Don't you think? I hope they achieve horniness first. Oh, you're right. But isn't horniness consciousness?

It's next to consciousness. It is. And they're right by godliness. Is it godliness or horniness? I know it's one of the nesses. Or is it Loch Ness? That's it. The Loch Ness is next to godliness.

One of the Ness's. That would be a nice little plaque to hang up in a home. Loch Ness is next to godliness. No, it's Elliot Ness. Yeah, people, look it up. Look it up. Elliot Ness. Also in this documentary, you mentioned very much in passing that when you were a kid,

you had strange pets. I did. You had a pet crow. Crow. For one summer. So how? How did you have a pet crow? Oh, the crow hit my dad's car, hit our car.

Okay. It smashed into the car. I mean, I found him by the car, and he had like a broken wing. Was the car parked? Parked. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I don't know what. I don't know what, but he had like a broken wing.

So my brothers and I nursed him back to health in the basement. Oh, wow. Yeah. And then let him go. But that was at a turtle. I had a turtle. Everyone had turtles. Yeah.

And rabbits. I had rabbits. When I was a kid, you couldn't. For some reason, there was some scare about turtles. Yeah, they had a disease. Salmonella or something. Salmonella. Yes, it was salmonella.

Yeah, so then nobody was. And parents were quick to tell you that. Yeah, you see, I probably was the last generation that was allowed to have turtles. But the next generation. Your generation, no. No. But ninja turtles were the big thing. So every kid.

That's how we compensated. Every kid. Because if you wanted turtles. We all wanted turtles. But then somehow society went, well, you're not allowed them. So it came up as a movie. Yeah. That makes total sense. It was because they seem like, for a kid, they seem like the perfect pet.

They're quite independent, aren't they? They do, but they swim in their own poop. Which is perfect for kids because they do too. Yeah. Right? That's what they do. Although you ought to tell the lifeguard and they drain the pool.

Drain the swamp! But did you grow up in a farm kind of area? No, no, no. I grew up in Brampton. We weren't allowed dogs or cats because we had allergies and I had asthma. So I was allergic to dogs. Same here. Yeah.

So I couldn't. I mean, I bet I probably could have. My parents got dogs anyway. Yeah, I wish they had, but we really wanted a real. I wanted it when I was very young. I wanted a skunk. I wanted a decent skunk. Yeah. There was this book that came out, which was pretty cute. Then I wanted a real, I wanted it when I was very young, I wanted a skunk. I wanted a decent skunk. Yeah.

Because there was this book that came out, which was pretty cute. Then I wanted a raccoon. What was the book? There was a book on, it was like from Scholastic Press, and it was all about exotic pets you could have. Oh, okay. And there was a bit of a rage in the 70s for decent skunks. It wasn't Teenage Mutant Ninja Skunks? No.

And raccoons. There was a Disney movie about a kid with a raccoon. Right. And that was before the West turned on raccoons. Did you see? We turned hard on raccoons.

Because we've made them now, you know, the enemy. They're outcasts. Because we're not allowed to say, you know, I think part of the hatred towards skunks

is because there's been, discourse has been so flattened by political correctness that the only enemy we're allowed to have is a skunk. I mean, is a raccoon. It's like, oh, we can take out all of our anger and rage on this, you know, urban denizen that we have to live with. But back in the 70s, people loved raccoons. Really? Yeah. I don't remember. I don't remember anybody talking shit about raccoons

What do people have a problem with? They call them trash pandas now Trash pandas But I think that's sort of I think that's a loving term Not Toronto No, Toronto is outright hate Oh really?

For raccoons There was I went In the summer I went for drinks on like a Top floor patio And they While we were having drinks

A raccoon came down, but it was kind of the bar's... Mascot? Yeah, it was kind of their friend. I've seen that in Yorkville one time, really nice place in Toronto and there was a raccoon just came in,

sat down right at the table. Just like took some crumbs. Yeah, exactly. It was unbelievable. Wearing spats. Spats. Yeah. Even there a long time. Who wears spats anymore?ats. Yeah. Even they're a long time.

They weren't spats anymore. They worked on him. Yeah, sure. Did you see on the internet this week, people are freaking out because there's this raccoon that has a beautiful ass? No. No. It was just like, you see the back of the raccoon and I guess his skin is sort of like

drooping down. Okay. And so you just see kind of this outline. I'll look it up and I'll show you. Yeah. So maybe society's coming back around to the raccoon. You mean bestiality? Absolutely.

I mean, that's probably going to happen too. I mean. Well, I think it's. Oh, that is a nice ad. That's a Kardashian ad. Look at that. That is something. It's a sin. It's a sin is what nice hat. That's a Kardashian ass. Look at that. That is something. It's a,

it's a sin. It's a sin is what it is. Like, I don't, I'm not a man of faith, but that's a Jessica. But like, Oh Lord,

I'm tempted. That is tempting. Look at that striped tail coming out. So juicy. Yeah. It's, it's, that's a rump.

Isn't it? That's a rump. I think, look at the way that the fur is dark there exactly in the cave it's nice but like it just feels like it has extra skin at the bottom underneath it oh he's definitely had implants yeah that can't be natural that can't be natural what would a raccoon have to do to get a butt like that a lot of squats a lot of squat well they do a lot of squat i do they do yeah i do follow some some fitspo raccoons on instagram the word fitspo what's this mean yeah is it like fit inspiration oh but it's i might have that i thought it was like a fitness expo

i thought it was like a fitbit thing. I might be wrong about that. No, I think that because in, is it? Well, there's Thinspo, which is like. Yeah, Thinspo. Thin Inspiration, which is. What's Thinspo? Thinspo is like borderline, you know, bulimia. Yeah, anorexia kind of stuff. Stuff that people post online.

But Thinspo is sort of like the healthy alternative to that oh if i have the word right but you are fit thank you but i i have also that has also been co-opted by just guys wanting to look at girls in gym pants yeah yeah but you know it's all right sure but who doesn't yeah well's happening, so let's just all enjoy. As long as they have a little hole for their raccoon tail to come out, I'll keep looking. Do you think that that's somewhere in the future where people will add a tail? Oh, that's the present. Yeah, that's happening.

I saw that recently. Really? Oh, you mean surgically? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Like down the road yes having like little cat ears we're already there people have horns yeah that's true people put in like fangs yeah and they you know sharpening their teeth and all that sort of thing i think

that's building dams yeah that's true yeah well that that was our first step into kind of furry culture was building dams. I think it will happen. Yeah? Yeah, I do. Eventually, yeah, people will be with robots. People will have things put in. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

I don't think we're going to see it, too much of it. No, but although the furry thing. Furry thing is definitely the first step. And that's, yeah, like that movie, I guess that Disney movie Zootopia, like. That's a great movie. It's great. Yeah. But the furries took to it like.

Oh, they must. They loved it. Because, and it was kind of written with them in mind. Like it wasn't written. Well, I mean, there's certain. Well, I mean, you have, you can't, I mean, women have had a love affair with horses forever. We can't pretend that's not real. I used to work for a lady who had a real.

And centaurs are hot as hell. I think that, to me, my gateway drug is centaurs. Is that your, that's your way in? That's your literal fantasy? Yeah, kind of. Yeah, when the Old Spice guy was the centaur, that's when I lost my mind. That's it.

I'm done. I know what I love. How do you cope with the two rib cages? Oh, I never really thought about that. That's something people are... What's the other one? Is it not just one long rib cage? Yeah, it's just one long rib cage.

Don't they have... They've got like a stomach. They have two stomachs, I think. Oh, they would definitely have two stomachs. Why would they have two stomachs? Well, because this part up here, the torso, would have a stomach, they have two stomachs, I think. Oh, they would definitely have two stomachs. Why would they have two stomachs? Well, because you're this part up here, the torso would have a stomach, right? And then the horse's

stomach is way, way back there. Why wouldn't they just have a combined horse-human stomach? I guess you're right. I guess. Right? I guess, like, I just wonder where all the organs go. Is it, they just have... I think it's just, it's just, over the years of centaurs breeding, they've adapted.

I mean, it's obvious. You don't believe in evolution? No. Is it centaur? And here's the thing. I think the centaur, as long as the genitals are in the front, it's okay. Oh, see, that's very- My centaur fantasy is they're in the front.

Oh. And that's a little weird. I mean, I know that they'd probably be in the front. Oh. And that's a little weird. I mean, I know that they'd probably be in the back. No, if you're having a centaur fantasy, they could be wherever you want. That's the great thing about this. I put mine in the front, and I take a,

I don't, I wish they didn't have hooves. What do you wish they had human feet? Feet, because I like feet. Or duck bills. No, but I like feet. I'd be, but then they wouldn't be able to run very fast,

and their feet couldn't hold up their body. But why do you want to be able to ride the centaur? No. Or do you care? Why do you care if it goes fast? Well, I think when we're caught having sex by a judgmental village, we have to get out of town pretty quickly. Why did you have it in the judgmental village?

Because all villages are judgmental that's what a village is I know but why why would you and your centaur why would you go get a nice house because we've looked

so we've been all over the place looking do you know how hard it is to find a friendly centaur friendly village do you know how hard it is to sneak a centaur

onto a gondola yeah so but I definitely thought about it a lot it is to find a friendly centaur friendly village. Do you know how hard it is to sneak a centaur onto a gondola? Yeah. So, but I definitely thought about it a lot. Yeah, I did. But,

you know, like the Playboy bunny? Sure. That was, that was all like, you're supposed to think a bunny is a hot

thing to have. Yeah. I'm really into Shrek. Yeah, you're, exactly. Yeah. And I was,

as a kid, I was quite turned on by the legend of the Minotaur. Which is that? That's the, the maze and the Minotaur with the bull's head. That's like reverse,

reverse Minotaur. Yeah, but he had like a powerful body and a bull's head. Yeah. What's the goat one? Oh, that's the fawn. That's Tumnus,

like in Narnia. Yeah, yeah. That's also horny too. What am I? Well, because the fawn is kind of a more, like a Narnia. Yeah, yeah. That's also horny, too. What am I? Well, because the faun is kind of a more, like a more children-friendly version of the devil. Yeah, so you're thinking of like with the hoove, like.

I'm thinking of a different word. It's like centaur, but with two instead of four, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's called a faun. Has he got a pipe? Yeah. That's Pan.

Pan the faun. Yeah, Pan the faun, yeah. Yeah, that's a faun. Does he have a labyrinth? Yeah. No, no, faun. Yeah, that's a faun. Does he have a labyrinth? Yeah. No, no, no. That's a minotaur. Well, Pan's got a labyrinth. Oh, okay. But that's a different labyrinth. I know. And I don't know if

minotaur had a labyrinth. It was a maze. Is there a difference between a labyrinth and a maze? A maze is you go in one side and you're trying to get out the other, but a labyrinth you're trying to get to the center of. Yeah, that's it. Wow, I didn't know that. That's good to know.

And I guess the Minotaur's in the center. Yeah. Smoking a cigarette, waiting for you. The fawn is definitely a sexual symbol. I mean, the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, when she meets the fawn, it's definitely a symbol of adult sexuality. I think it's the hairy legs and the cloven hooves yeah that's very adult yeah very adult how old were you when you got hooves i remember being in gym class and all the other boys had hooves before me

but i was much better at climbing the rope. With something like a fawn, if it's born, because horses, when they're born, they just start walking around almost instantly. It's crazy, isn't it? Yeah. So, you know, because the fawn or the centaur is half human baby. Yeah. Is that acting all like a helpless toddler, but is walking around? I bet they're helpless. Yeah.

Yeah, because I don't know. What is it about babies? Is it their big heads that make them, make it impossible to walk? Yeah. Why are babies so pathetic? Like compared to other animals, really pathetic. How long we take to be like autonomous. I think, what did I hear?

I like if it's because of the way we've evolved that this is how they have to come out so they can fit through the pelvis. So they're not really ready to come out yet, but if any longer and they wouldn't be able to fit through. I mean, the only other animal that's worse is the kangaroo. I was going to say. The fetuses that crawl up their chest and then jump into their pocket for nine months. I mean, really? They'll hang out. These marsupials will stay until their legs are hanging out of the pouch.

Like, they'll stay maximum amount of time. Especially these millennial ones. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. Those orchid. They move back in. Yeah, they move back into the pouch. Yeah.

Oh, it was hard out there. Yeah. Is there a trophy in my pouch? Oh, good. Now we're into the Smack around millennials Part of this show Sure

None of them are listening We love that Don't we Well it's Isn't it Every generation Of course Gets to

Pick on the Upcoming generation Absolutely That's a right of passage Absolutely And every generation Has their Achilles heel What did

What did the generation Before your Say about your generation? I guess I would have been like the top of the Generation X. I think a lot of the same things. Yeah, slackers. Slackers, yeah. Lazy slackers. Entitled?

No. No. Not entitled, no. But like uninterested and grungy. Yeah, grunge was the thing. Dirty. Dirty. Dirty, you know.

Definitely grunge would have been the thing. Dirty. Because it would have been going from. And angry. Punk was a very, and I was a, you know, punk was a thing for me when I was young. And that was a, I mean, rebellion. Just rebellion against everything. Were you a punk?

I was in a band. I actually was, I had a punk band, yeah. What did you play? Yeah. I sang and wrote songs. What were they called? I was in a band. I actually had a punk band, yeah. What did you play? I sang and wrote songs. What were they called? Mouth Congress. Yeah, did you put out an album like a couple years ago?

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, and actually, we're just putting the finishing touches, me and Paul Blini, who we were the lead singers of the band. Both of us. We are just putting the-

How punk. Yeah, very punk. We were sharing the details. We were making a documentary about it. Oh, really? I'm very, very excited about it. Can I make one suggestion? Yeah.

Get the robot dog. Oh, yeah, definitely. I can bring Abraham out. Yeah, put a mohawk on him. That'll be fun. So, yeah, when I was meeting the kids in the hall, I was also doing this band thing. I mean, I couldn't really sing or anything, but.

But it's punk. It's punk. I could write lyrics. And that's how I learned how to write a lot of it and perform. Cool. And so you did gigs? You toured around? No, we never toured or anything like that.

We just played, stayed around Toronto. And we never really got much of it. We didn't really have much of a following at all. But we would always do brand new shows. And we would always make, they shows and we would always make, they were always staged. Lots of, lots of theatrics.

Always brand new songs. Well, we would do one show, which, where we wore eight layers of clothing and we sang eight songs and each song we took off different clothing. So by the very end we were naked naked. And I was naked a lot. And then the best gag was

the last song that I sang, I got naked, but I had like four layers of underwear on. So that was the gag part. Something to keep them around to the end of that song. Yeah. So then, during the song, I stripped right down. And I enjoyed that. Like, I really enjoyed stripping.

I liked... Did you ever consider just maybe being a stripper? I think I would have been. I think so. I really enjoyed stripping I liked did you ever consider just maybe being a stripper I think I would have been I think so I did think about being a stripper and then I think

I would have done I definitely would have been a great way to make money do you have to be like a big muscle bound guy to be a male stripper no I was lean I mean I think

I know but you weren't a real stripper like I hate to break it no I wasn't was I no but you I wasn't a magic mic I. No. I wasn't, was I? No, but you were. I wasn't a magic mic.

I could really dance. I was a good dancer, but I didn't have like a huge built body. But it sounds like with the theatrics that you would have been at home kind of in the burlesque kind of world. Yes, and yet there was a, and the songs were all over the map. Like, we were just so prolific. We never, we just wrote hundreds of songs. And with real musicians. What was your favorite song title?

Tactile would be our hit. Okay. All right. Off Hours. That was another hit. I love this. Well, they had nice choruses. Yeah.

You know, and we were all over the map. The people we played with were real musicians. Yeah. And Paul and I were not. We were like just kind of wild. I don't know what we were all over the map. The people we played with were real musicians. Yeah. And Paul and I were not. We were like just kind of wild. I don't know what we were. But you guys were putting on a big, like you guys were putting on a show.

Absolutely. We did one show where we pretended to be live from Sun City at the height of apartheid and stuff like that. That's the one place to this day

I will never play Sun City. Me too. I mean, now, of course, I know it was wrong even to make a joke about it. So we did one where I was in drag, played at Madame Alfonso and

me and my three sons, we pretended the band was my sons and then it was Mark McKinney and Mark was at home playing on his little 8-block and we broke into his living room and staged a show for Mark. Things like that.

So we did things like that. Oh, I love that. We dressed up as, right after John Belushi overdosed, we dressed up as John Belushi and we staged a show with the bass player dressed as Kathy Evelyn Smith who killed him

and I wore a toga. Oh, man. Oh, we were. If we had an audience, we would have just been like so. People would have just, if they knew what we were doing, they would have just tried to destroy us.

Because at the time, it was a very politically correct time. Or they would have thought that that was, you would have been like Gigi Allen. Like they would have been like. Yeah, but the thing is, at the time, we were gay and you could not.

We were openly gay. I always was. And that was just beyond the pale. Yeah, but the thing is at the time, we were gay and you could not. We were openly gay. I always was. And that was just beyond the pale. Yeah. There was an off, again, lots of abuse. So there was never really a chance for us to make it. I don't think. But like, I think.

But it was really a good place to learn. Yeah. And it sounds like I was just saying this to a friend last night. Went and saw a show that was great, a music show. What'd you see? I saw a woman from the States called Lizzo. Oh, yeah. What is that, Good as Hell?

Yeah. Good as Hell. Yeah, she's playing the Super Bowl. Oh, really? Apparently, yeah. She's fantastic. Right. And she's kind of on the ascent, but put on such a show.

Yeah. Like had backup dancers. I like all that stuff. You know, DJ that also rapped. And it was really, it was like so much fun. And just a lot of shows you go to, there's no. It's all stripped down. Yeah.

There's no show. There's a lot. You know, you hear the songs, but there's no, there's no craziness. That's I think an aesthetic. There's no show. There's a lot. You know, you hear the songs, but there's no great. There's no craziness. That's, I think, an aesthetic. That's a young people's aesthetic, which is that they don't trust that stuff. Yeah. Things when people.

I think that one of the one one thing that young people have, which I think is a stupid thing, is this idea that trying too hard is not cool. But yeah. Yeah. That's been for a long time. I've had that. I used to have that. Yeah. I don't like, cause I,

I'm, I'm completely the opposite. For me, it's like you try your damnedest and you, and I don't, you know, but the idea, like even like in comedy,

one of the things I noticed post kids in the hall was that even in sketch comedy, there became this aesthetic to, to, to, to look like what we, the way we would try to portray our characters like we wanted to be real right but then it sort of changed like tim and eric and

things like that it became this aesthetic like no a bad wig is better horrible clothes are better right a fake mustache is better that's very different than us i was watching some old kids in the hall sketches and i was like oh these guys were like younger than i am now you were very young wearing suits that like and i'm like i i feel like a phony wearing a suit but i believe danny huss god damn it danny huss wears a suit yeah oh god he wears a suit yeah we were god we were young but i questioned, it never looked like you guys were kids in adult clothes. You look like adults in this scene. Because you are an adult.

Yeah, yeah. We were in our 20s. I mean, men went to war and died when they were 18. But now I don't think of a 20-year-old as an adult. You know what I mean? But they are. But they're wearing hoodies and stuff. It's hard to think of them as an adult. Adolescence has gone on too long.

I mean, that's the other thing that it's like, oh, come on, grow up. Yeah. Well, but, you know, like. He said on a podcast. I know. I know. A man who never, I mean, I never really grew up. But I'm an artist.

I don't have to. That's true. But like, do you, you know, when you look at pictures of people that were graduating high school in, you know, the 60s. Right. They look like adults. Yeah. Like they look like they were ready to just go and manage a factory. But in the kids in the 60s, like especially Americans, they were, they were being drafted.

Yeah, that's true. I mean, those were big deal. That's a lot worse than today. I mean, people may think that, oh, the world's gone to hell, but hmm. But yeah. Not really. It was also, yeah, pretty bad. Yeah, so when you were like, I mean, I had American cousins when I was a kid.

When we were little, we had a plan that if they were drafted, they'd come and live with us. Oh, really? Absolutely. Now you're living in America again. Yeah, I moved back three weeks ago. Yeah. What's your plan? Yeah.

Well, I plan to just, I'm going to make it. I think I'm going to do very well because I think I'm a war comic. I don't. There you go. I mean, this is the truth. I mean, it's an ugly thing about, I mean, I'm maybe not a good person, but I think that I think that this, this transitional time is a, is a fascinating time for comedians.

Yeah. And if you don't lose your sense of humor over it, I think you will do very well. And I think a lot of my, uh, my generation of comedians have lost their minds and they've lost the, they've lost the, they've lost the, they've lost the thread.

Well, they were the last generation to have pet turtles. Yeah. And they got, exactly. And they got to go, it's over. Like that's done.

Yeah. The turtle era is done. Maybe it was the salmonella that caused this. So I'm kind of, you know, like I, you know, I,

I actually talk about on stage. It's like, you know, I kind of went like, I, it's funny. I left the States eight years ago when Obama came in because I'm like, oh, a biracial president. Gay marriage on the horizon.

Things are going to get easy. I'm out of here. And then as soon as Trudeau was elected, I'm like, oh, God, that's going to be so. Let's get back. I got to get back to the state. They need me. I gotta get back there. I gotta get back to the state. They need me.

So I really, I wanted to get in, though, before he actually took power. Uh-huh. Because I just didn't know what would happen being a, you know, for immigrants. Because I'm an immigrant there. I'm a, you know, landed immigrant. I'm an alien. And so I got in just in the nick of time. And.

Like, quite literally. Yes. As it happens. And I'm fascinated because I look at like so many comedians. They're so, they're so frozen. It's like all the comedians are like in a mannequin challenge and they're all like telling the world on Twitter that they're heartbroken.

And I'm like, you've pulled the goalie. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just going to skate right through the middle. Yeah. Like if you're not going to tell jokes anymore. Yeah.

That was weird. It's like a Woody Allen quote to tell jokes anymore. Yeah, that was. I don't find that weird. It's like a Woody Allen quote from years and years ago that, you know, when. Or maybe it's maybe from a movie where he wants to get involved in a movement. Right. And somebody just says, you know, just write better jokes. Yes. Like that. That's your job.

That's your job. Yeah. Like, I don't think it's your job to tell everybody how heartbroken you are. Yeah. I think one tweet is sufficient. Maybe. I don't even think one. No?

Me personally? What about a periscope? Just a quick periscope. Maybe a quick periscope. Just a quick peek. Yeah. I just personally feel, for me, to keep all that stuff out of social media and just put it on stage. Yeah.

It might work, you know, writing. Because I just don't think you can win. No, you can't win on social media. So why bother? Yeah. I just don't even, I just pretend it's, I just ignore it. And then on stage, that's, you know, I can do whatever I want. Yeah. It's, uh are you you're in

los angeles yeah back in los angeles okay i mean i left because i got cancer that's the reason i left i mean i got sick um eight years ago and uh 2009 is this uh and what's the amount of time that you've been completely uh cancer free yeah um-free? Yeah. Well, I guess I was declared cancer-free in late 2009. So it's been like seven years. That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean completely cancer-free.

And the cancer that I had can be cured. Right. And so it was non-Hodgkin's gastric lymphoma in my stomach. Oh, God. And it's a rough one, but they can treat it. This is the thing about cancer, it's fascinating. The more aggressive a cancer is, which is non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, the one I had, was very aggressive, but they're more treatable.

It's the indolent ones that are less treatable, especially in the lymphoma world, because lymphoma is part of the... Is this boring? No. I've spent my last vacation in the lymphoma world. Yeah, lymphoma world's good. It used to be Wally world, now it's lymphoma world. You know, it's like leukemia.

It's one of the liquid cancers. But they can fight it. Like, if you get certain ones, they can really fight it, but they got to use really big guns. Yeah. And those guns really take you down. So then you've got to recover from the treatment. That takes a long time.

And so the, the, obviously the move back to Canada is cause then everything's covered and you're. And I had, you know, like I had one month left on my Screen Actors Guild insurance. So I did get my very first chemotherapy treatment in LA at Cedars-Sinai. It was wonderful treatment. Yeah. And then I got the bill and it was $49,000. Gee. For my first treatment.

They even charged like 10 cents for an aspirin, that sort of thing. And it was crazy. There was a thing this past year that was, a woman got charged like $35 after giving birth to a halter baby. Like skin to skin was on the tax. Yeah, you're charged for like a heated towel, like a warm blanket, that sort of thing. And it's fascinating to look through it. But Screen Hacker's Skill did cover it. But I came home to Canada, and I went right back into the system. It was quite seamless.

And but then after I was cured, I went, I just thought I was quite ill. I mean, even after I was better. And I thought, well, I'm going to do stand-up. And now I did. This is the one thing I learned from a friend of mine who went through all these treatments and everything. You lose your hair. Oh, yeah. All your hair.

But then you get this super, un-really soft, brand. It's like baby's hair. It's crazy. It doesn't come back just like adult hair. No, and it's weird. It comes back. I mean, everybody's different, but everybody loses their hair.

Do you lose everything? You lose eyebrows, everything? Eyebrows. Eyelashes? Not all of my eyelashes. Raccoon tail? Thin. Raccoon tail.

So it's just like that. Oh, it got bushier. It got bushier. That's a weird effect. Yeah, weird. Well, you know, this is all an experiment. I mean, pubic hair,

leg hair, underarm hair. Wow. I mean, i look like a giant fetus it was just hideous no wait wait i'm picturing it yeah all right like just like a yeah like yeah like a fetus with like that fetus is hung that's kind of what it would say picturing it again okay yeah but uh you know it's when at first my hair did come back when it first started coming back this is the weird it was they were they were black curly ones on your head like curly black hair on my head i was like oh my god i am part black oh my god hallelujah i've been waiting

for that my whole life but it didn't all and i was thinking oh thinking, oh my God, I'm going to have curly black hair. Oh my God, that's fantastic. Because sometimes that happens too. The hair comes back and it's a different color. Don't we all want that? Not chemotherapy,

but just like to have... All white people want to have something that makes them not white. But just like, not even that, but just like a different type of hair for a week. Yeah.

I'd love to have a nice fro i would i wanted uh to be able to do an afro with a big sideburn mutton chops that's exactly it i wanted like lawrence fishburne in pb's playhouse like the you know cowboy with mutton chop black that's what i wanted to look i wanted to uh have like kurt cobain long hair yeah but it only ever grew in the back. Like the front just only gets a certain length. Oh, because his, yeah, his was very kind of even and it fell down. It was even.

He had nice hair. When I was a little kid, I had a friend who was Chinese and I wanted his hair so badly because it's so. So nice. So thick. So thick. So straight. Yeah. Oh, Asian hair is what they use for wigs mostly, right?

Yeah. It's the best hair. Oh, I would wear, I would absolutely. Would you wear like a nice long black Korean hair? I think I'm going to, as soon as my hair reaches kind of where it's unsalvageable, I'm going to just start wearing wigs. Like unapologetically. I think that's a great idea. Did you hear about joe buck the sports

broadcaster no he's a um he does baseball and and football i think and he started going bald like 20 years ago and so he had uh you know plugs right and you have to apparently keep getting plugged as you go oh and he got addicted to getting hair plugs and oh and he hated getting hair transplants right they kept him awake during the procedures uh they were just i thought that the plug yeah like they kept him awake at night whispering things into his ear they would just numb his head while they did it and then finally they did one the doctor was like why don't I just knock you out for one? And

apparently the anesthesia totally ruined his voice. What? His vocal cords couldn't connect anymore. What? Yeah, so his addiction to hair plugs to be a sports broadcaster.

Lost his voice? At the cost of his voice? Almost. So the cost of his career? Almost. Like what happens? They take it from the back of your head, right? And they put it in the front. Yeah.

Yeah. They do it. It's like Jenga. And then eventually, does that all go bald back here? No, I don't think you can. This, I've done extensive research. Because you want to do it? Well, I can't afford it because.

But if you could, would you? Yeah. Absolutely. Why not? Yeah. Absolutely. Why not? Yeah. But it, it just to get the first round done is about 30 grand. Wow. And then you have to get like this guy, you have to get subsequent because it will start to thin again. So it's kind of every year you're spending about 30, 40 grand.

Is that why you have the beard? Uh, no, I just don't like shaving. Oh, okay. Yeah. And, uh, and I had this before all the. that why you have the beard? No, I just don't like shaving. Oh, okay. Yeah. And I had this before all the- Oh, you were the one. It's true, right? Yeah, yeah.

I've known Graham for 10 years. Oh, okay. But this reminds me of a thing that I just read this week. It was fascinating. It was an old gawker report that was trying to figure out what is Donald Trump's hair. Like, how does it work? Yeah, how does it work? And so basically they showed like in the physics of his hair, when a wind catches the front part, it flips up, but you don't see any roots.

There's no, there's nothing holding it there. So where is this hair? And, you know, he says it's his own hair, right? He's always said that. It looks like it. What they figured out through this, I can't believe that this didn't go, you know, international. This is what people are spending their time on. Yeah.

Good. So people are becoming politically engaged. This was before. He was elected and everything. Well, before even he was running. Yeah. Good. But this was. People are becoming politically engaged. Yeah. This was before. He was elected and everything. Well, before even he was running. Right. This was just a story like, what's the deal with Donald Trump's hair? I haven't been to Gawker in a while.

How's it doing? Not so good. No. Not so good. Yeah. But so there was this one guy, doctor, who does this patented procedure where it's basically a weave and he's clamping the hairs to like whatever's left on your head. Right. And then you can kind of comb it around on your head.

And on the doctor's old website, every person who had had the procedures hair looks like Donald Trump's hair. So it's a weave, you think? Well, this guy, this even goes one step further. Follow the money. Yeah. This guy's office was in Trump Tower. Oh. The floor below Trump's office.

So lazy. And this guy basically is, you can't book an appointment with him anymore. He's functionally vanished. So the thought is, this is Donald Trump's personal bullet time. Because you need to have the procedure done every six weeks. Oh. So it's glued on? Is it glued on?

No, it's clamped. Clamped on what? On like whatever hair you have on. But what is clamped? A wig or a weave? Weave. So someone else's hair. Yes.

Which is a wig. Yeah, which is a wig. Yeah. But it's not. But when he says it's his own hair, he means he paid for it. Exactly. That makes sense. Yeah.

Yeah. says it's his own hair he means he paid for it exactly that makes sense yeah yeah uh so the the thought was you know does donald trump have this guy basically on retainer that fixes his hair i because i don't know why i think this my theory was always that he got a hair transplant but before they had sort of figured out how to do hair transplant. Right. So it's growing in every direction. But it's kind of a comb over, isn't it? Yeah, but it's.

It goes about six different ways now. But if you look at pictures of him from when he was young, he always had this weird kind of like duck tail in the back. Yeah. Yeah. That vexes me. It is vexing,'t it yeah but it's it's just one of these articles it's a relic from before he was right politician guy it's just like we we decided i mean that was the scale of stuff gawker was doing but he's he's not dying as much as he used to

it's looking more white though now yeah i think that probably somebody's advised him like let it be a little bit white because if it's crazy blonde everybody no blonde doesn't last i mean i know i was a blonde no man is if you're blonde like nothing gold no that's true that's true nothing gold gold doesn't stick no so you were blind and then now i was blonde kind of brunette yeah yeah yeah so i did the the cancer kind of killed my my uh blondness well i mean the age would have done that anyways but it took a lot of the red out of my hair because i you don't see a lot of red anymore but i used to and my beard's still red but i did have these weird curly black hairs which i love but they're all gone now.

But I did. Did you save them? No, they just disappeared. Yeah. They just, it just went back to my normal, but the hair that first came was really nice. And then once my other hair, my real hair came back, it was quite nice. Yeah. Yeah.

And now you, this looks good. This, this like close crop. Yeah. I'm going to keep a close crop. Yeah. Well, and this is, it's, it's good. This is the, you know, it's the time for a close cropped hair. You can't, no, there's no time to waste on my hair.

No, no, no. Exactly. You've got to get up in the morning. You're going to war. You're a war comedian. The only, I wear, only thing I wear on my head is ideas. That's it. That's it.

There's your mug. Thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. Um, do we want to, uh. Yeah, let's take a break. come back and do some overheard. Sure. Okay.

Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You gotta do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You gotta shine your shoes. You gotta sweep the floor. You gotta clean your house. You gotta do some more. Take care of business.

Hey, Graham. Hi, Dave. You hire a person? I might. What if I did need to hire somebody? What would I do? What would an idiot like me do? You would post the job posting to 100 different websites.

Okay. Separately on their own. Dave, I don't know that I know 100 websites. Okay. And a lot of the ones that I know, I don't know that I'd want the type of people who would apply to those websites. Here's the thing. You don't just post it to one place anymore. Well, you do post it to one place anymore, and they post it to every place now. So this is like, this is an aggregate. They send it out all over the world.

Who's they? ZipRecruiter, that's who. With ZipRecruiter.com you can post your job to 200 plus job sites, including social media networks like Facebook and Twitter and ZipZorp and FrugalFlump. You can find candidates in any city or industry nationwide. Just post once and watch your qualified candidates roll into ZipRecruiter's easy-to-use interface. So you only have to go on the one site. So you don't have to track it through all these different sites that it's sending it out to. The candidates just roll in. You just open the door and let the candidates roll on. And then you can just, you know what, you're Scrooge McDuck-ing it.

Yeah, you're lighting cigars with candidates. No juggling emails or calls to your office. Quickly screen candidates and hire the right person fast. Now, you can find out today why ZipRecruiter has been used by Fortune 100 companies and thousands of small and medium-sized companies. That's all the types of companies. Hey, Fortune 500, too many companies. They took the best 100 of those and ZipRecruited them right up the wazoo.

And right now, our listeners can post jobs on ZipRecruiter for free by going to ZipRecruiter.com slash happy. Yeah. So, listeners, we know our listeners. They are graphic designers. Yeah. And librarians. Librarians. Some, you know Some mail carriers.

If you need to hire a shusher. A professional shusher. A professional look down the glasses at you. Someone to lengthen the chain of your glasses. Go to ZipRecruiter.

ZipRecruiter.com slash happy. One more time. Try it for free. Go to ZipRecruiter.com slash happy. One more time. Try it for free. Go to ZipRecruiter.com slash happy. Do you want to move on to some overheard? Sure. Going into a bullseye interview, I know that it's somebody who does amazing work, but it's also a real conversation, so I don't know where it's headed. I think you just clarified something for me that's never been really clear before.

This is the most serious I've ever been in my life. You've made me completely serious. I feel like I'm in therapy. Bullseye. Creators you know, creators you need to know. Find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. The first ever Very, Very Fun Day is coming to Talley Hall in Chicago on February 11, with media sponsorship from WBEZ 91.5. Advanced tickets are sold out, but we will have a limited number of tickets for sale at the door. So come on out for a day jam-packed with five great Max

Fun podcasts, four local shows, and a comic showcase. For more information, please visit MaximumFun.org slash VeryVeryFunDay. Overheard. Overheard is a segment in which we hear things out there in the world and we share them here on the podcast. We always like to start with the guests.

So will you lead the charge? Yeah, okay okay i was trying very desperately hard to think about what i would talk about and i remembered this a number of years ago uh kids in the hall were nominated for um an ace award the cable the cable awards it only lasted for a few years and then it got folded into the emmys etc but it was the beginning of the cable you remember who you were up against uh arliss who arliss i think arliss yeah arliss oh my god i think tracy ullman oh yeah yeah um you know it would have been a pretty narrow it was very narrow there was another one would have been the what was the one about the guy from the HBO who, Dream On. Dream On.

Yeah. Dream On was a lot of fun. Yeah. So I think we, Mark won. That was what got us another season. Mark won Best Actor. Oh, nice. But I was sitting there and.

You were so jealous. I was very, I was jealous. Absolutely. At the time, I was jealous. We were in the audience and behind me was debbie reynolds okay that's why i thought this would be good debbie reynolds and she was with a man obviously a gay man like a friend um she was his beard and vice versa and it was the best and i remember she was right behind us and you could hear her everything she said but all she talked about all during the show was how hot the women were.

And I'm like, what the hell's going on? And she, Debbie Reynolds was like, no, she's got a nice rack on her. And he's like, oh,

that's a, honey, stop it. No, but look at those, those are nice tits. Please, what do you,

stop it, Debbie. And that was it. And Debbie Reynolds, basically grading all the women. It was such a, we were like, what's the heck? Debbie Reynolds. I didn't know.

I did thought, is she a lesbian? Is she just like appreciative of the female form in a way that women are allowed to be? I don't know, but she was really into it. She was into it. Yeah. Do we know? I don't know. I mean, I've not seen that movie on HBO or anything, but I mean, she had many marriages, didn't she?

Yes. I don't know, but I... What are the telltale signs? Well, I mean... Judging people at award shows. Yeah. Open cunnilingus. Oh, yeah.

That's a dead giveaway. Dead giveaway. Yeah. So, I don't know, but that was my favorite. So that's what I overheard was Debbie Reynolds. Wow, that's pretty good. Yeah. So I don't know, have I outed her?

I don't even know. No, you just, what's the... I guess being dead is really old. Yeah. She's old and dead. Is it okay to out someone after they're dead? No, I don't know if I am actually outing her. No, no, but if...

I don't know. They tried, you know, like all through Liberace's career, they tried, and then they really went into overdrive when he passed. Yeah, but let's be honest. Liberace was accused of being gay back in the, I guess, the late 60s or 70s. Yeah. And he sued the tabloid, and he wons or 70s. Yeah. And he sued the tabloid and he won. And he won.

Yeah. He won. And who was it that only came out after he died was Rock Hudson. Well, Rock Hudson came out before he died. Did he come out before he died? He had to. But Rock Hudson changed, he changed the whole debate, his death. That's when people went, oh my God, people I know and love can be gay and have AIDS.

This Liberace character. Yeah. No, but the women were completely in denial about Liberace. Yeah. Even though I went a number of years ago to the museum in Las Vegas and no mention whatsoever of how he died or his homosexuality or anything. No, it's- No, they pretend it's still, no, it didn't happen. And I think his estate maybe was trying to sue that HBO production.

I think they did try to. We outed Liberace. Yeah. I love that movie. It was so good. It was so good. I remember when I saw the trailer. I don't think I've been that excited to watch a movie.

It was so good. I'm pretty excited about the Betty Davis, Joan Crawford series. Oh, that's... Who's playing them? Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange. Yeah. It's pretty good casting. Yeah, it looks

pretty good. Ryan, what's his name? Ryan Murphy. Yeah, the OJ thing. It's, uh... Yeah, when they do them well, they're great. It's done well. I mean, it doesn't,

I mean, it might just be a camp. It is. I feel like all like these things, even five years ago would be train wrecks, but now suddenly they're great. The OJ thing. Yeah.

Somebody was reminding me. Remember that Lindsay Lohan played Elizabeth Taylor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. That was a nightmare. That was a nightmare.

And Oh, Jennifer Love Hewitt played. Well, they still do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. That was a nightmare. That was a nightmare. And, oh, Jennifer Love Hewitt played. Well, they still do. Blue Sheep Pipe. From Breakfast at Tiffany's. Audrey Hepburn. Audrey Hepburn. Yeah, and Michelle Williams played Marilyn Monroe. And was nominated for awards.

I mean. Did she win? No. I mean, I didn't see it, but how could she possibly be Marilyn Monroe? I mean, you know what I mean? They're both blonde, I guess. But Marilyn Monroe was like an overripe fruit. I mean, she was just so lush.

Yeah, yeah. I mean. And Michelle Williams is like a wilting flower. Like she's just a tiny little footnote. I don't even know. Yeah, a footnote to like. Who would you cast as a Marilyn Monroe? I don't think there is an actress today

that has those qualities. But I feel like now. I think you're right. That kind of feminine, that femaleness, that overt alpha femininity. And also, like you say, there's not a lot of work,

the actresses working that would have her look because her look is quite... Well, they're too thin. Yeah, they'd be too thin.

They're too thin and they're just too... I don't know. I'm obsessed with Marilyn Monroe. Wouldn't that be great if they made, like,

in this day and age, they made a Marilyn Monroe movie and the woman wore a fat suit? What can you imagine? They would. She'd have to wear a fat suit. They'd have to bat her up. I mean, I'm obsessed with Marilyn Monroe.

I love, I'm obsessed with Gentlemen Prefer Blondes as a movie. It's pretty much my favorite movie. I watched it again the other day. And it is so funny and profound about the nature of men and women. And she's funny. Funny. Yeah. That's the weird.

She's so funny. That's kind of the strange thing about her being this kind of sex icon. Yeah. And also she was funny. And could sing. Yeah. Like her and Jane Russell are so good together. And there are these two archetypes of women that you just do not see anymore. I mean, if I was recasting them,

I think Sofia Vergara could possibly play the Jane Russell role. She's got that Amazon quality, but the accent would throw you. You could redo it, I guess. That could be from the wrong side of the track. She could have been an immigrant. And Marilyn Monroe, I just can't. I don't know the story. I've never seen that. Oh, it's about two. It's about a gold digger, two show girls. Yeah.

Um, and one's a gold digger and one's, um, wants love for love and their best friends. And they're both in the wrong side of the track. Who's the gold digger? The gold digger is Marilyn Monroe, Laura Liley,

and Jane Russell is Dorothy, the woman who wants to marry for love. And they're, they're show girls. And Marilyn Monroe is caught up in a bit of a scandal. And they basically go to Europe. And it's basically, it's all about love. And Marilyn falls in love with a rich man.

And Jane Russell's in love with a poor man. But it's all about, you know, Marilyn has all these great wisdom, but you can fall in love with a poor man, but it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man. So why not? And you can't really argue with that. And it's back in the 50s. It's a very

different time. Is it Billy Wilder? No, it's... Gene Wilder. No, it's Gene Wilder. It's Van Wilder. Howard Hawks. Howard Hawks. Howard Hawks. Iks Howard Hawks alright Howard Hawks it's really it's just

I just don't know if you could if you could do that today because they're I just don't know if you have those kinds of actors I think you're right though about

Sofia Vergara she's so funny and she's she's probably the closest equivalent to a Marilyn Monroe that's like a sex pot

but also she's very funny. She might be able to play the Lorelei Lee part. And then the Jane Russell part, I don't know if there's like. Michelle Williams. Oh, yeah. You know what? Sigourney Weaver, when she was younger, would have been a good.

I would like to see Sigourney Weaver just around more. I would too. I would just like to see more Sigourney Weaver in films. But I mean, Marilyn Monroe,, you know, Marilyn Monroe, I'm, I just really appreciate her as a performer. Yeah. And how funny she was,

but she wouldn't. That's the, the, I guess like, I'm not saying that somebody can't be sexy and funny, but look at us. Yeah, exactly.

Thank you. That's what I, thank you. I was trying to set the table and you knew what to do, but it is tricky. Yeah, absolutely. I was trying to set the table and you knew what to do. But it is tricky. Yeah, absolutely. I try to tell jokes with my wiener hanging out. It's subtle.

You know who else is really funny? Is Sofia Vergara's husband, Joe Manganiello. Oh, yeah. He was in the Pee Wee Herman movie on Netflix and he's so funny in it. Don't you hate it when someone's really good looking and then they're funny too?

I mean, those two, they are like unreal. They are an alpha male and alpha female that are both really talented and really funny and lovable. Yeah. They're remarkable. If they don't have children, they should be forced to have children. Don't you think? At gun or knife point. Whatever.

Whatever they hit. If they don't have kids, that's a crime. Yeah. They could be, why not them in a movie? Does that ever happen? You know how like, sometimes. Well, Brad and Angelina were forced. Yeah.

Yeah. They were forced to have children. But like, do good looking people ever have ugly kids? Yes, they do. Oh, yeah. Does the opposite happen? Because ugly people, I think, can have good looking kids. Yeah. Yeah. But like, do good looking people ever have ugly kids? Yes, they do. Oh yeah. Does the opposite happen? Cause ugly people I think can have good looking kids. Yeah.

I remember, I think maybe I've talked about it. There was a guy in my high school and he, uh, looked like a pig. Right. Like he had like a real face, like a pig.

Right. That you'd put glasses on. Right. But his sister was the most beautiful girl in the school. Yeah yeah i knew twins in school and the one was not attractive the other one was the best looking girl in school yeah i mean they were fraternal twins but that must have been rough yeah for the you know only one well sure yeah because then you're you're just looking uh down the hall at yeah it could have been. Yeah, genetics is strange. It's a cruel mistress.

It is a cruel mistress. Very. Speaking of genetics, my overheard this week. Oh, yeah. I think probably in the next 50 of my overheards will be for my two-year-old. Sure. Because I'm not. They're overheard machines.

And I'm not venturing out into the world of people at the moment. Right. So, and she's really entering a time of saying funny things and it's great. So, she, her whole life, Margo has just grabbed my chest. Yeah.

Like if I pick her up, she puts her hand on my chest. She does it with Abby as well. Right. Because that's where food comes from. Right.by but not on me and uh i said uh oh yeah i said you've got your hand on my boob and she said daddy no have boobs mama have boobs and i said oh what does dad have and she said tits that's it that's actually that's actually a joke i do in my act oh really i do i talk about my when i, oh, it's a long story, but I had one of my side effects from chemotherapy was I grew breasts.

Oh. So I had to have a double mastectomy. And then it was so humiliating. At one point, when I had my mammogram, they kept referring to my chest as my breasts, and eventually I got tired of it. I stopped it and said, stop it. Okay, right now. I'm a gay man.

They're not my breasts. They're my tits. It's so similar. But like, I've told this story to other people and they're like, how does she know the word tits? I'm like, that's a really funny word. It is a really funny word. It is a really funny word. Tits is a, it's hard to believe that it's a bad word.

Yeah. I've never thought of it as a because we it's a silly word i can't say it on tv i guess well my parents would say unless you're up something went tits up yeah oh yeah that was like but that was just to me that was like a homespun yeah like oh your business went tits up it's up up's okay, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Can you say- Titmouse? Well, that's different. Yeah. Yeah.

Just like you could say cockroach. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Or Schitt's Creek. Yeah, oh boy. What's your overheard this week, honey? Mine is, I was watching, this was actually this morning, I was watching an MSNBC report, and it was a woman talking about how the jobs that have left America aren't coming back. And not because of foreign workers, but because, quote her, because a business, they won't bring the jobs back to America.

They'll just hire a robot. True. Because a business, they won't bring the jobs back to America. They'll just hire a robot. That's true. And I just, oh, the image of a robot putting in an application. And we're going to hire this robot. And this is the new robot. And we'll show you your desk. What about if it was a sex robot? Yeah.

I wanted to get a change of careers. Trying to go legit. Yeah, go legit. Yeah, they were in porn all their life. And now they're trying to get like a desk job. So it says here you can thrust. Yeah, that's true, I guess. That's an interesting thing of the possible future.

Will robots, once they become conscious, will they want to trade careers oh like a robot that was set up as like a bartender robot will he be like no i want to be a i want to be a fighting robot yeah well he have like will there be a right for him to go in and be reprogrammed yeah well we're gonna have to figure this all out robot Robot reassignment surgery. I mean, life's long. It's a long game. I mean. And robots, who knows how long they live for? Yeah. I mean, I think it's going to happen.

I think as a kid, being into science fiction prepared me for the future. Yeah. And do you feel like, is there anything from when you were a kid that now exists that you like fantasize that you were like, Oh, that'll be amazing. Oh, well, like, like camera phones for God. I mean,

like the fact that we had, we can do that is crazy. It is crazy. Skyping and all. I mean, I remember when it first happened, the first Skype, I remember someone said,

Oh, do you want to Skype? I went, what are you talking about? You know, just talking to your computer or someone. And they were blase about it. And I remember they did it.

And I was like, what the, what is happening? I'm like, it's Skyping and I was like, what the, what is happening? I'm like, it's Skypey. I'm like, what, what,

what? How can this be happening? Like, why was there not an announcement made? Like, you know what I mean? Like,

I thought when that would happen. It was from Star Trek. Yeah, but it just happened so, it just, no one made an announcement. Did they not have a, no.

Gentlemen prefer blondes? They did not. And that's why, they could have made it a perfect movie. But you know what I mean? Like if people were like, oh no, it's a picture phone. I'm like, shouldn't there have been an announcement?

Shouldn't have television stopped and said, we have an announcement today we have a picture phone. But people were like so blasé. Like it's like suddenly like just teleporting in and going, what happened? What did you do? I'm teleporting, aren't you? I remember when it was, people still had flip phones. I think Andre Agassi, the tennis player player was the spokesman for T-Mobile. Right.

And he, uh, it was, there was an ad campaign and it was like, be the first with picture messaging. Yeah. Why would you want to be the first? You can't send it to everyone. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah. I sent you a picture.

Go get a phone plan. When I was a kid, my dad brought home because he was worked at a, a gas company. He was an engineer. They sent him home with what would have been one of the first like mobile fax machines. And it was this giant metal case that you open up and you put your phone

into a cradle. And it, and I was like, who are you getting faxes from he's like for the two other people faxes are so dead now aren't they oh yeah but remember that that was like that was mine i i my job in university in the summers i worked in the fax room of a law firm yeah really the fax room yeah there were there were six of them going at once.

Wow. Yeah. Now, we also have overheards sent in to us from people around the world. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from Jessica L. in Boston. At Boston's Logan Airport at 5.30 a.m., and the man in front of me at the check-in asks if the employee can throw away his AppleCore. She asked him to use the trash barrel behind him.

His response, oh, the trash barrel? But it is a Macintosh. So he thought maybe it was too good for a trash barrel? You mean a Macintosh? Like a Macintosh Apple. Apple. Yeah. Oh, I thought he confused it.

He thought she wanted to throw away her computer. I think handing an employee your garbage and saying throw this away is... Unless they are specifically the flight attendant. That guy's already in flight attendant mode where he's like... Yeah, that's right. As soon as he walks into the airport, he's just throwing out his Kleenex. Can you take this away for me?

So what was he supposed to do? Throw it away himself. Yeah, I guess that's right. Like you don't go to a, you know, check and get your car and then say, oh, I've got some gum. Can I spit that out of your hand? No, I guess you're right. I guess I think I've been that person.

Oh, no. I think I might have done that once. You know what? People can change. Yeah. Well, we all learned something today. No, I won't do that again. This next one comes from Mason in San Diego.

Hi, Mason. Overheard while boarding a Virgin America flight from San Francisco to San Diego, an older couple behind me was commenting on the plane's purple mood lighting. A woman said, ooh, mood lights. Are we on a party bus? Man, very excitedly. Oh, let's make out.

Oh, cool. I'll say this, never made out on a plane. No. Never made out on a plane? No. Really? I find that. I'll say this Never made out on a plane No Never made out on a plane No Really Uh I find People

Well The fantasy is the Sex The sex You mean like I've never like Joined the Mile High Club No

But like Why would you make out If you You have nowhere to go From there Unless you're like Fifteen Yeah

No I've never made out On a plane But I don't think I've ever seen anybody make out in a plane either. I've seen people make out on a bus, on a train. And quite often, you're sitting in a group of three. Yeah, that's true. We're going to make out. That guy in the middle seat.

I remember one time on a small plane, there was only three of us, and the couple beside me did make out the whole way. Wow. And I think they did it on purpose. I think it was their kink. Oh, they were like. It was like 20 years ago. It was like a tiny, tiny plane.

There was just me and the pilot and a French couple. And it was like such an awful plane. They had to tie it shut with ropes. And the pilot flew with a piece of, the directions were on a napkin that he had taped to his rear view mirror. I mean, it was a plane and he had to fly low enough that he could see it. He was navigating by the actual islands.

It was a night, it was a three hour flight. It was a nightmare. I was imagining 10 minutes. No, it was a long flight. I was like, maybe not three hours,

but a long, maybe at least an hour. And it was just, I was imagining 10 minutes. No, it was a long flight. I was like, maybe not three hours, but a long, maybe at least an hour. And it was, I was terrified the whole time. I had to tie the rope. Uh-huh. And then the French couple made out. And the pilot was constantly looking back. And I think they were totally doing it. I was mortified. And they didn't talk to me.

And they, I mean, they didn't full out fuck, but they were close. So you like think you were an involuntary like they were exhibitionists. Yes. Huh. I do. And I thought it was quite dangerous because the pilot was, I mean it was just as, it was no bigger than this little area. It was just a tiny, tiny plane. And I don't think I would ever go on a small plane like that again. Yeah. They're scary, those little planes.

I think so. Yeah. I don't like them at all. You wouldn't fly Dry Hump Airlines again? No, I would not. No, I would not. But they were definitely exhibitionists. Yeah.

Good for them. Yeah, but it was dangerous for the poor pilot. Yeah, that's true. He was trying to navigate by the island He had it written on a napkin That's so scary Yeah that was scary And then we landed on a dirt

Just a dirt road It was quite something It was quite something That was an adventure That was a real adventure This last one comes from Jill E. Hi, Jill. Parts unknown.

Is she also boarding a plane like the last two? No, this one is at a library. Today I went to the library to pick up a movie for the weekend. As I was leaving, I passed a gentleman who was standing outside the building talking on his cell phone saying, I do miss you. I want to grab you. But right now, it's business. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's take care of business first. Yeah. Then the grabbing. Yeah. I feel like the, the romance, the romantic calls made from the library aren't.

So here's this thing. So she went to a library to rent a movie. Yeah. She got the Revenant. She pointed out. It's free. Yeah. Free.

Oh, I didn't know that. But also like, cause you can now, I think you can get eBooks from the library. Yeah. Can you? Will you be able to like stream movies from the library at a certain point? Eventually I think, yeah, it's amazing. Like our library here has, uh, three, has three studios that you can just use for free that are people record podcasts in and they've got a green screen and it's all. Really?

Yeah. You just have to book it. Wow. Yeah. BC's amazing. It's pretty good. That's pretty cool. Yeah.

Wow. Come back anytime. Yeah. The library is doing well then. It's not in danger. It's not turning a profit, I don't think. Oh. But I think they're figuring out ways to provide the public service.

Well, I hope the library comes back. Well, the librarians during George W. Bush's reign were instrumental in making sure that certain publications weren't, uh, kind of done under. Is that because Laura Bush was a librarian? No, they were. Wasn't she?

I don't know. Or a teacher? Maybe she was a teacher. I think she was a teacher, but they were working in opposition to his. Oh. Government. And,

uh, Michael Moore did a big thing about them. He, they, uh. He did? Yeah. They protected a lot of stuff that would have been banned under band.

Yeah. There was kind of a movement happening during, uh, during his time. Banning doesn't work. No burning. You got to burn. You got to burn. There's no one. I know.

Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is a doozy guys. I know. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is a doozy. Guys, this is one of the best phone numbers on the planet. Absolutely. It's so memorable. That you have to look it up. Uh-uh.

The phone number is 1-844-779-7631. Or 1-UGH-SPYPOD1. Like these people have. Hello, Dave Graham and wonderful guests. This is Liam from D.C. with an overheard, courtesy of my friend. He went back to our high school a couple days ago. And he was looking for one of his teachers. And he overheard another couple of kids talk to each other. And one said, who the fuck

is that kid? That's funny. That's kind of a weird activity to go back to your high school and go looking for a teacher. Unless you're going to beat them up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess if you're trying to avenge. Like I would boy, I mean I don't blame any of the faculty for my high school years, but I think it would be fun to beat up your old principal.

Yeah. I can't even, honestly, can't even tell you who my high school principal was. Oh, really? Junior high, I remember. Didn't you have a teacher that really, you know, helped you in your life that you'd want to thank? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And one that you'd want to beat up.

Yeah. No, I don't know for sure the ones I'd want to beat up. Me too. Yeah, I know the both. I know the one I, yeah, I'd want to hurt and the one I'd want to thank. But my, well, you can thank your teacher right here. You think they're still alive and kicking? No, he's gone.

No. Mr. Potter. Did you ever get a chance to thank him? Yes. That's really nice. Yeah, he was a wonderful teacher. I don't think he's a teacher that today wouldn't last. I think that today he would, he did things that today would not be allowed.

And I think that's kind of tragic. What did he teach? English and history. It's hard for a math teacher to reach into your soul. Yeah. He was an amazing, he was a wonderful man. And this is like,

this is in the seventies and he had this little library at the back of his classroom. And, uh, and he had a little section that was just not marked or anything, but it had like gay books in it, like Giovanni's room, few books like that.

And if he knew, because he was, he was a gay man. I know that now, but he would say, you know, Scott, there's a little library you might want back there. And I'd look, and then nothing would be said, because you couldn't in those days. But I remember that's when I got, where I got Giovanni's Room and a few other books that changed my life. Wow. And so that was his, that was his, and that today, it would have gotten fired. But he, you know, he had boys that he was sweet on, and that today it would have gotten fired. But he, you know, he had boys that he was sweet on and everybody kind of knew it.

Right. No one really was bothered by it. And, but he did think, and he, he had a little, sometimes he'd have a little flask. Yeah, for sure. Sometimes he'd put little things in his coffee. Although I had a social teacher that he would, he would pour a flask. Yeah, we had sort of some of those. But I don't think that would would pour a flask. Yeah, we had some of those. But I don't think that would be allowed today.

No. And also, one of the things he did was he was a soldier in the Second World War, and he was one of the first people into the camps, one of the first people into Auschwitz. And so he had pictures. And if he thought you were if you capable enough or if he thought that you were like a special student he would show you these wow and i remember very clearly like him saying i want to show you something basically about to show me how evil human

beings could be and he showed he had a little envelope of photographs. Wow. From like, and they were like, well, mind bogglingly awful, but I think they would have gotten them fired today, but they were just shocking that he'd actually taken. Yeah. Of the camps.

Wow. So that, but he, he was very fast. He understood what life was like. Yeah. And he, he,

he would think he would go, this person has, you know, can take it. Huh. That's like. Yeah. And he would think, he would go, this person has, you know, can take it. Huh. That's really. Yeah. Here's your next funny phone call.

Oh, I know. That was. Oh, that was. It was very. I probably shouldn't have said. He's long gone. I'm joking. He was a wonderful,

wonderful teacher. Do you have a teacher who? No. No? No. I mean, I had good teachers, but like,

no one had like, hey, dave you're a dorkist here's a special library of dork things for you yeah this will help you when the world is so cruel to dork yeah hey dave you wear shorts all winter here's a library of knobby niece books what about you graham i had one teacher named uh mr ward and he was really he was really funny and i remember at one point him telling a story about his youth to the class and it was about the class clown and somebody in the class said oh like uh gra, they pointed me out. And he said, no, Graham's not a class clown. He's like, he's more like a class comedian. And I remember that being like a, like there being this definable difference all of a sudden.

Yeah. Because when you would read biographies of comedians, it was like, I was the class clown. Right. But I wasn't, though. But the class clown is obnoxious. Yeah. And he's making fart noises not that i didn't yeah not that i was above fart yes but were you a class clown yeah i mean i yeah i was uh i think one of my teachers called me a ham yeah which was yeah a hot ass mess thank you hard as a motherfucker here's your next phone call hi Dave and Graham

and very cool guest I just walked out of the bar and on my way out I paid my tab heard some gentlemen having a discussion one of them almost embarrassingly said to the other

um what did he sure what he said. Oh, he said, yeah, he was embarrassed. He said, my dad and my mom are cousins. And the other one, you could tell he was kind of taken aback for a sec, but then he jumped right back in and said, oh, that's not that bad. I mean, there was a point in time when that was a pretty regular. Third cousins?

Absolutely. That's not bad at all. No. Third cousins, you, I've never met my third cousins. Oh, I know my third. I was very close to some third cousins. Cousins share grandparents. Second cousins share great-grandparents.

Third cousins share great-great-grandparents. Well, my third cousins were the children of my second cousins. Oh, those are second cousins once removed. Is that what that is? Yeah. We called them third cousins, but I guess that was not correct. I honestly thought that this math of what this is was Einstein's theory of relativity for a long time. But, you know,

I think even second cousins is still fairly common. But Einstein, didn't he marry his cousin? I'm pretty... Albert Einstein. I mean, in the Middle East, there's still lots of cousins getting married. I mean, there's parts of the world where cousins still get married. I think it's still legal to marry your first cousin here.

Is it really? I believe I overheard that from a sociology class that I was standing outside. First cousin? Yeah. That's a little weird. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's now done. I have no idea, but it's, I guess if you like back in the, if you lived in a small town, like who are you going to meet? It's natural.

Yeah. I mean. To a certain extent. To a certain extent. I think there's definitely, I think we must keep, I think the prohibition against first cousins is probably smart. Just genetically? Genetically. Yeah.

Yeah. Probably. But what if you're twins and one of you is really good looking and one of you is ugly? Well, that's different. You have no choice. Here's your final overheard. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Maria calling from New York City with an overheard, overseen.

I work across the street from the Trump Tower. I know. Yay me. They have that whole entire, his whole entire block is barricaded. So they have cops positioned on every crosswalk. And I was leaving work, and I saw this guy kind of like doubled over on one of the barricades. And the cop looks at him, and he's like, you okay, buddy? And the guy's like groaning.

And the cop says, you really need to lay off the shawarma man he's trying to get it all in before the muslim ban yeah it's uh i guess that whole uh security has like, I was reading an interview with like a guy who owns a restaurant that was on that street. And it's just like business has just fallen off a cliff. Yeah. Because. Will they be compensated? No.

No? No. And this guy, this guy's like. The compassionate Donald Trump. The government compensate you for things like that? I don't. Yeah. I don't.

I don't know if there's ever been a case like that. I don't know if the people down the street from Jimmy Carter's peanut farm were affected. It's true. It's funny too, because this guy that they interviewed, he's a, he's a Trump guy. Cause Trump would regularly come to his restaurant. It was like a steakhouse kind of place. And he was pro Trump, but he's like he's a trump guy because trump would regularly come to his restaurant it was a like a right steakhouse kind of place and he was pro trump but he's like jesus christ that is weird yeah but it was that whole block was a whole block you couldn't yeah you couldn't come or go how did the cop know that it was shawarma

maybe maybe all the maybe all the was he looking at maybe theke? Was he looking at the puke? Or maybe just like that's what everybody You know if you've made movies And stuff you just end up Frequiting whatever place happens to be Open so you're like Yeah just for three weeks you just Eat nothing but churro

Well that's the thing about stand up It's impossible to eat properly Yeah You know a lot of people that Oh, boy. Well, that's the thing about stand-up. That's the dream. It's impossible to eat properly. Yes. Yeah. Impossible. You know, a lot of people that when I first got, like, going on the road would bring food. That's what I'm learning.

Well, granted, you're a vegetarian. Oh, you must have a hell of a time. Well, you just end up ordering all sides. Yeah. Rice and macaroni. Yeah, exactly. Wow. Well, that brings us To the end of this Episode

Thank you so much For hanging out with us Thank you Do you have Thanks for letting me Hold your baby Oh my pleasure Yeah that was fun

Do you have any like Upcoming stand up gigs You want to plug Not right now No I just finished A little run Anything else Upcoming

That people out there might be interested in? They're going to be reissuing Buddy Babylon, the Buddy Cole book. Yeah. An e-book. I have a copy of the original. And it's going to be an e-book on Amazon. And it's going to be with this one chapter, this whole 40 pages that were taken out that are being put back in. So it's finally the true.

Oh, cool. Un-experimented Buddy Babylon. So I'm very excited about that. Nice. Very, very excited. Is it only going to be on the e-book? Yes, but if people want to get a physical book, they can. So there will be an actual physical book, but it's still not, my dream is to eventually,

I mean, I want that book to be discovered finally. I think it's the best thing I ever did. And I wrote it it with paul bellini who was in the band with but i don't think people were ready for it but i'm hoping that maybe it's time is now yeah i found it i found it very at a at a you know one of these small bookstores uh it was just and i i didn't know it existed yeah and not many people it was completely ignored it didn't know it existed. Yeah. And not many people, it was completely ignored. It was completely ignored when it came out. It is very funny. Yeah. And, you know, I'm very, very proud of it, but it was completely ignored.

And if it was mentioned, people would just, they basically slaughtered it. Ugh. There was like Canadian press. You know, the Canadian elites are very snobby. We sure are. You are. The literary elites are very snobby. We sure are. You are. The literary elites are very snobby. Would you say the second best thing you ever did is that sketch where the car won't start and you.

The Danny Husk sketch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You paint it. That's definitely the best Danny Husk piece. Well, Husk Musk as well. Husk Musk is good too. Yeah. And I like Kidnap when Danny's kidnapped and he's trying to free himself.

Yeah. Is that the one with the trust game? Trust game. Oh, that's the best gag. That's one of the best gags in the whole. Yeah. I think that,

but that is starting the car sketch. Whenever somebody is unfamiliar with the kids in the hall, that's the first sketch. It's a good, it's a good opening. Yeah. Like I'm like, if you get the whole idea here

then you're gonna love the rest of it yeah and it's a very simple premise it's a hard premise the one i'm like there were years i watched it i didn't know that these were like that it was the same character right because it was just you know you know you guys in suits yeah so i didn't know that danny husk was the same guy and the the first appearance of Danny Husk he doesn't have a mustache. Right. And then he finally has it. And like

because none of them had you know catchphrases or anything. No. Just the same characters. Yeah. That's right. None of them did

except for maybe like Chicken Lady did in a way Gotta Get Laid and maybe Head Crusher. Of course. But not really. Yeah but you're right.

There were a lot of reoccurring characters that I, like, when I was a kid, I didn't realize. No, there's reoccurring characters that aren't even that well known, but then you go, oh, they were in five pieces. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like, we really did work very hard to try to create a world. The best. I'm so happy you were here. Yeah.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, this was a real treat for us. Thank you very much. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you. here. Yeah, this was a real treat for us. Thank you very much. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you. And you guys out there, if you like the show,

head on over to MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recap, pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. Shwarma, I'll have a picture of Shwarma. Yeah, a picture of a centaur. Oh, yeah. Maybe a minotaur. Yeah, a centaur vomiting a shwarma. Well, I'm not a

magical creature. I can't conjure this up. You don't think shawarma is going to be hurt by this Muslim ban, do you? Because that would be terrible. There's no way to know how this is going to be. Food doesn't have religion. There's a lot of second generation shawarma makers. They're already here, that are already landed in America, born in America.

We're safe. We, the shawarma eaters? Yeah. I won't give up shawarma. I know you're a vegetarian, but oh, Lord. Well, I know that it's, I've eaten meat in the past. I know it's. It's an amazing thing.

Yeah. The shawarma, but you know what? I like a falafel. Yeah. I like a falafel too. I like a falafel. Yeah. Crispy, soft on the inside, delicious. falafel Yeah I like a falafel I like a falafel Yeah Crispy Soft on the inside

Delicious Falafel Sorry This episode is sponsored by falafel Yeah We will be in Vancouver At the Biltmore Cabaret

With John Doerr On February 23rd That's right Tickets for that We will be in Banff, Alberta On March 4th Yeah And we'll will be in Banff, Alberta on March 4th. Yeah.

And we'll also be in Toronto. July 8th. With who? We don't know yet. We don't know yet. Oh. Guest to be announced. Okay.

At the Harborfront Center. Is that right? I don't know. Are tickets on sale yet? Who knows? Maybe by the time this comes out. Thanks so much, much everybody for listening if you like the show

tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself is that person flirting with me? yeah they're just waving their hands around. Yeah, well, that's how bad it's gone.

Or just holding a drink and staring. Yeah. Was I flirting? Oh, I'm being triggered. And we'll do a round of testing. I don't like the hands in the face. When I was young, I was attacked by a homeless person who just waved his hands in front of my face. And it triggers me.

I mean, he never hit me or did anything, but the breath was awful. And his hands were just making these weird movements. And then I discovered he was deaf. And oh boy,

he's still hanging on your face. Exactly. So I apologized to him, but I faced away so he couldn't read my lips. So that's when he hit me. Have we started? No.

That was a goddamn good riff. Why haven't you started? I'm out of here. We'll throw that at the end. I'm out of here. That was a good riff. I cannot recreate it. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture.

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