Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 473 - Stacey McLachlan

Episode Date: April 10, 2017

Performer and podcaster Stacey McLachlan joins us to talk MasterChef Junior, shopping sprees, and Irish stuff.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 473 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's done a fantastic new job of baffling this here studio. Rebaffled, it's rebaffled. Mr. Dave Shumka.

Let him say your name. It's your brand. Dave, come on. DaveShumka.com We've been over this a thousand times. I think DaveShumka.com just goes to a over this a thousand times. I think DaveShumka.com just goes to a Tumblr that hasn't been updated in three years.

Sure. As no Tumblr has. Yeah, there was a time. There was a Tumblr time. I feel like maybe your site is the only

thing I regularly ever checked out on a Tumblr. Oh, I had so many I checked out. Oh, yeah? What was in the top five? Give me one of the top five. regularly ever checked out on a, on a Tumblr? Oh, I had so many I checked out. Oh yeah? What was it?

What was, uh, in the top five? Give me one of the top five. Um, oh, I don't know. Like, uh,

the Zach Morris pizza, pizza burgers. Seems like something I would have checked out. Yeah, absolutely. Um, uh, Kanye reflections.

Um, uh, like, uh, changing the body parts size. What is it? Oh, sure. Yeah. Like changing the body part size. What is it? Oh, sure. Yeah.

Like big head mode. And our guest today. Oh, yeah. First time guest here on the podcast. She is part of the sketch troupe, Proud of You, which performs once a month, every month at Little Mountain Gallery. Twice a month? Once a month. Ten months a year.

And it's the Goof Troop. Yeah, sorry. She's part of Goof Troop. And she is also the host. Are you part of Goof Troop? No, I'm not. Of a podcast called After Chef Junior. Junior.

That follows Master Chef Junior. It's Miss Stacy McLaughlin is our guest. Hi, everybody. Hello. Hi. Should we get follows MasterChef Junior. It's Miss Stacey McLaughlin is our guest. Hi, everybody. Hello. Hi. Should we get to know? Yeah. Get to know us.

So, Stace. Can I call you Stace? Oh, my God. This is moving so fast. So, okay. MasterChef Junior is the one. It's the one. Well, okay. LetChef Junior is the one. It's the one. Well, okay, let me finish.

With the kids, who, it's like they bring out the best in Gordon Ramsay. Yeah, well, okay, I don't really know the show, so you're going to have to describe. Let me walk you through it. Yeah, walk me through it. What is it? Okay, so it's 40 of the best chefs, the best junior chefs from across America. What qualifies as a junior? 13 and under. Oh, really?

Or 9 and over. 9 to 13. Yeah. Okay, so 13 is the cutoff. Yeah. And then you're just a teen chef. Yeah, and they don't want anything to do with you. You're filthy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're disgusting. You're with you. You're filthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're disgusting. You're moody. Get out of here. Yeah. Yeah. I would definitely watch that, though. Teen chef?

Yeah. Moody teen chef? Moody teen chef. Gosh, chef? Yeah. So. Mom, I'm a vegetarian now. Gordon, I'm a vegetarian now.

So everything I make is vegetarian. Every episode, they're going through a different phase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I like that. Gordon, I only gluten vegetarian. Every episode they're going through a different phase. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I like that. Gordon, I only eat gluten now. Yeah. I only like... You only eat gluten now.

I only eat diet. So this is hosted by Sir Gordon Ramsay. That's right. And Christina Tosi as well, who is a chef at Milk Bar. So she's sort of... Her specialty is pastry. What's Milk Bar? It's in New York City.

Maybe? Okay, very. So,'s sort of her specialty is pastry. What's Milk Bar? It's in New York City. Maybe? Okay, very. Excuse me, I know about it. Maybe you've heard of it. She's in that Broadway play about. Milk. So she's the head chef of Milk Bar? I guess so. Or is she just, because sometimes on these shows

they just have the owner of a restaurant. Oh, wow. She's a chef. She's a chef. What do they got, Jeffrey Chodoro? I don't know what that means. Oh, he owned Rocco Di Spirito's restaurant from the restaurant? So they're the two hosts? They used to have three.

This chef called Graham Elliott, who owns a bunch of restaurants all the time. He's the guy with the glasses. He had glasses. His thing was like a bow tie and a vest all the time. He's the guy with the glasses. He had glasses. His thing was like a bow tie and a vest all the time. And I think he just got tired of wearing that outfit. Just like,

I'm out of here. No more. And that's just the two of them in a rotating cast of guests. And what type of guests? What kind of guests? Michelle Obama was on the last one. What?

Via Skype. Not my president. Via Skype. What was she? Well, you bought it, you wouldn't. No, but isn't a part of it like tasting the food that the kids made? No, she was just sort of handing out the instructions. She was like, cook a healthy thing.

See you later. Yeah, cook something fit for a present. Yeah. Okay. So the guests are not judges. Or are they? Sometimes they are. Michelle. May I call her Michelle?

You may. She was sort of a special occasion, but they had another famous chef come in. They had some lady from Big Bang Theory come. Kelly Cuoco? No, Blossom. Oh, Maya Ayala. Yeah. Oh.

You guys just pulled that one out of... Well, we're old... Big fans, big fans. Yeah, old, long-time fans. Someone from Big Bang Theory, you say. All the kids were really excited about it. Yeah. Yeah, they're amazing.

They're amazing, these kids. The whole universe was in a... Take it. Hot, dense space, that's all I know. It's the Big Bang Theory. Am I doing it right? No, you're doing it exactly right. Ta-da!

And you've loved this show... For two years. For two years? It's been a journey. It's been a real journey. But the fun thing was, last season we started tweeting at the kids, because that's what you have to do. You guys know.

Yeah, I'm harassing know. Yeah, absolutely. I'm harassing kids. Yeah. And then they started tweeting back and we were really excited. And then we realized it was like their parents really running their social media. Right. But they were like really keen to get their kids on our hot podcast that had 100 listeners. So you actually had them as guests?

Yeah, we interviewed a couple of them. Nice. And so we got in touch with the PR company through that. And then they were like, how can we help you for next season? Like, let's get you more kids. Do you want a judge? We can get you a judge. No problem.

You want screeners? Here you go. So things were rolling along nicely. And then like five weeks into this season, they emailed and they're like, oh, we just listened to the show for the first time. We can't help you anymore. Oh, why? But they forgot to take away the password to the screener. Oh.

But no kids, but we can still watch in the future. What was it that... I don't know. What's that described your show then? You've described MasterChef. Not my show. Poorly, so far. But describe yours um so it's it's like a recap show but we get i think pretty serious about serious about the kids um we try not to be mean

to them because they're children but you know we're only given so much information from the producers we have to make some judgment calls sometimes about who is good at sports and who is not. You can usually tell by the arm tone who's good at throwing and catching. So there's 40 kids? Yeah.

Do they whittle that down immediately? Like so fast. The first two episodes they got rid of 20 kids. Good, good, good. On what's the basis that they get rid of? Yucky. Food's y fast. On what's the basis that they get rid of it? Yucky. Yucky. Food's yucky.

Like they all have to cook something and then. Yeah. They make like their specialty and then the judges taste it. And they get you attached to those kids right away. They have like little, I don't know what they're called, like biopacks or something where they're like, oh, Samantha grew up in a trailer park and this might be her only chance to make it out. Oh, no. Geez. I mean, let Samantha through, I think.

Oh, no, no, no. Her souffle. But geez, from a trailer park, what would she know about souffle? I know. I don't know what's about souffle. No, me neither. It's not even something they do. It's something they'll do on a cooking show just as like,

just to test your cooking fundamentals. Yeah. Did you think it was supposed to fall? Because it didn't rise. Yeah. Because is that have you ever. I've never souffle. I've never made a souffle.

I've never eaten a souffle. I couldn't draw you a picture of a souffle. I could draw a picture. It'd be like a pan and then a big bubble. Well, that's you can describe a picture. You're right. I probably could draw it. You start eating the pencil. No, Graham.

What's in a souffle? Eggs? Maybe. It's in a ramekin. It has to be in a ramekin. It's in a ramekin? Yeah. Well, I thought it was a big thing.

Little? Are there? I mean, they're little, so maybe they have to only make little food. I don't know if that's at all. That would be adorable. Yeah. They spend a lot of time being like, how old are you exactly? Like, that was awful. That was terrible. But that's sort of what it is. So, like, I'm 93 adorable. Yeah. They spend a lot of time being like, how old are you exactly? Like, that was awful.

That was terrible. But that's sort of. So like, I'm nine and three quarters. Yeah. Aw. Is there kids that can't, like, if they can't reach? Yeah, it's adorable. What happens then?

Goddamn adorable. It's really dangerous. They get them like blow torches and knives all the time. Yeah, the knives. Yeah. Because that's like the number one thing you need as a cook. If I know one thing about cooking, it's time. Yeah, the knives. Yeah. Because that's, like, the number one thing you need as a cook. If I know one thing about cooking, it's knives. You've got to have knives.

So a lot of the times they're like, stand on a step stool. Like, I can barely wait. Oh, boy. That kid's going all the way to the top, whoever said that. Yeah. It's fun. But, like, kids aren't allowed to use the stove, right? They are in the MasterChef kitchen.

Yeah. How does a kid by the age of nine, they're so good that they get to be on a TV show about cooking? I know. What's kind of interesting is that some of them are like, I've been cooking since I was two. And some of them are like, oh, I've been cooking since I started watching MasterChef three years ago. I think there have been like some of them that have appeared on other reality shows. Like, well, if I'm not a cook, maybe I'm a singer. Oh, just like a kid that is just like, I got to try.

I think a parent that is like. Oh, yeah, yeah. What? Oh, yeah. Do you ever see the parents, I guess? No, they're behind the scenes. But it's interesting that all the kids kind of have visual branding. Like if you wear a bow tie to day one of masterchef junior

you have to wear a bow tie every day like they won't let you stop so it would be my advice if you guys ever get a chance to be a master when you were nine thank you when you were nine uh tell us about your brand what was my uniform great question i had a good set of uh shorter alls so uh and i had a really cool it wasugs Bunny, you know, in the 90s when they were kind of like hip hop. Hip hop Bugs Bunny, absolutely. It was sort of like a baseball style shirt that had the Looney Tunes crew also wearing like cool baseball shirts. They're on a backwards cap and things like that. So pair those together.

A little backwards denim cap. You got yourself a look. Yeah. That's pretty good. I'm really picturing this and it's worth it. What type of shoes are we wearing? Hip Hop Olsen twins is what I'm thinking. I'm picturing like a converse high top.

That's what I'm in my head. Oh, I'm thinking a jelly sandal. Oh, yeah. In the summer, for sure, a jelly sandal. I need to find some photography. I can't remember what shoes I ever wore. Ever? Ever. Oh, I'm thinking a jelly sandal. Oh, yeah. In the summer, for sure, a jelly sandal. I need to find some photography. I can't remember what shoes I ever wore. Ever? Ever.

Oh, no. Am I having a stroke? What were your knife skills like when you were nine? Oh, terrible. My biggest culinary adventure was just like I got a second-degree burn from a, what's it called, a toaster strudel. Oh, yeah. So I was not allowed nine. How did, was it the stuff in the inside?

Yeah. Oh, that filling, that'll get you. What did you, what did you cook when you were nine? I think. Because we didn't even have a microwave until I was 12. Yeah. I wonder at nine, I probably like the extent would have been like craft dinner. Yeah.

Or ramen. Wait, was it exciting when you got a microwave for the first time? Was that a big? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It would have been like craft dinner. Yeah. Or ramen. Wait, was it exciting when you got a microwave for the first time? Was that a big? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kids, get down here. Well, no, we moved to a new house that had it already.

It was in the wall. Yeah. Because they used to be, you know, kind of part of the structure of a house. Right. It was a load-bearing microwave. A load-bearing microwave. Yeah. It was a load-bearing microwave. Yeah.

I remember when I was 12 and we moved in, I would make a, boy, like a hot dog in a tortilla microwaved with cheddar cheese on it. That's fusion. That's fusion, baby. Yeah, yeah. You're going all the way. Because it's Mexican. It's Mexican. It's New York.

It's, you know, it's in the store. Oh, I remember. I would make, I could just make, like, ragu and noodles. That's really good. That's still basically where I'm at. Yeah. But I remember once I, oh, we didn't have, my parents wouldn't buy, you know, the Parmesan in the craft green container.

They would buy the store brand in like a whatever, a see-through plastic bowl thing. But it was the same thing. It wasn't like strands of Parmesan. It was a powder. And I remember I opened up the freezer and there was some in there and I put it on my pasta and it was like ground almonds. Well, that would get you kicked off of the MasterChef Junior right away. Why are you putting ground almond all over your...

Almond? All over your ragu. This guy adds L's to everything. All over your ragu. This guy adds L's to everything. So, this podcast comes out the day of the show. Because now we have secret access to all the advanced shows. It's awesome. They might take it away from you if they hear this.

Oh, my God. I made a mistake. I'm being on a podcast with more than 100 listeners. By the way, who's we? Oh, my co-hosts, Max Mitchell, Jenny Elliott. And they're both fans of the show, I assume, as well? Yes. I mean, are they fans of our show?

That's all I care about. And these, like, what happens to the kid that wins? What do they get? They get a trophy. They spend a lot of time talking about how great the trophy is and how special the trophy is.

And they get, I think it's $10,000. Like it's not very much money. $10,000. It used to be that everything, like Survivor, American Idol,

America's Next Top Model, whatever, you'd get a million dollars. And then they started scaling it back because they realized people just want to be on TV. Yeah. You have to pay. Yeah, exactly. I wonder if they get paid.

Do they get paid a little something to be on the show? Probably. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm sure. They probably get some kind of weird day rate or something like that. And I think when you get kicked off the show, you don't get to go home. You just hang out in a hotel with all the other kids. But they're not shooting it weeks apart.

No, I guess it's probably over six weeks or something. So yeah, they're not like. No, I think they do it all in a day. Gordon Ramsay's got places to be. Busy guy. Yeah, where does he have to be? He's got to be in Hell's Kitchen. Yeah, he's also, he's got to supervise his hair plugs.

Oh, come on. It's a constant upkeep. You don't get to just do it once and then you've got hair forever. It's constantly back to the guy, making sure that the ones that are in there have taken. But I do remember when they first started MasterChef Junior, that was the big deal. It was Gordon Ramsay's actually, you know, he yells at adults, but he's nice to kids. Sometimes he yells at the kids. Well, a 13-year-old, sure.

Yeah. That's why he has to keep checking how old they are. Like, I've got something to say. But he never swears, right? Because that was his big brand coming over to America was he was the chef that swore at everybody. Ooh la la. Yeah, it was very continental. Because we were used to chefs that were just real PG.

Who were the chefs before the last 10 years of cooking television? You know, there was like... There was Yan. There was Yan. There was the urban peasant. Oh, yeah. There was, you know... Julia Child. Yeah, or like uh who's somebody

that had like a like people that would go on oprah i feel like rachel ray was kind of like oh yeah sure somebody contessa oh yeah that's a thing and then emerald kind of thing he was the game changer emerald you got emerald you got fl your... Bam! Bam. Right? I feel like when Emeril came around, then it was like, everybody had to have some kind of... You gotta have your brand. Yeah. The one I loved was Iron Chef. Yeah. That was... Because it was

Japanese. Yeah. And then... But they dubbed it? And what was it? It was kind of like what a chop did, right? Yeah, you got one ingredient that's a mystery and have to basically just run that. Is that right? Yeah. And you could choose which of the three Iron Chefs you were against.

Iron Chef, I want to say French, Chinese, and Japanese, and they were all Asian. And then it was in front of a live audience. Yeah. It was really good. And the camera would like travel around. It had kind of a sports feel. Yeah. Because it wasn't as slick as most reality shows.

And everything was sports size. You know when you go to a restaurant, they say you want the sports size, which is an extra big plate. What? What restaurant do you go to? Believe me, that's the thing. You go to Dick's? You know what? that's the thing. You go to Dick's? You know what? It's a thing.

So, you're not much of a chef, though? No, not really. We were cooking the other day. That sounded like a talk show question. We were cooking something the other day. I don't know if you know, but this is a talk show. I know, but like. I don't know if you think we're a barbershop.

No, no, no. But it felt like something you read when I looked down at a blue card and said, oh, so you're not much of a chef, I hear. You were cooking something the other day. We were cooking something. Like, some sort of coconut salmon with rice. And we just, like, ruined everything. And then just had to eat, like, ramen as we're recording the show where we're criticizing all these children oh you the podcast yeah yeah oh yeah and uh my co-host is also my partner so he's he's there he's always what about his cooking skills also not uh we're all trying our best

yeah yeah i mean dave's he's a he's a cook he He's a real chef. No, but it is. You're just trying things. And then eventually over time, you have like 20 things you can make. Yeah. And then a few things you can experiment with. And then they're just bad sometimes. What would you, if you only, if you had to make one dish for somebody, like as you're like, this is my thing I can make the best. What is it

oh it's a pasta yeah it's just basil and shrimps and oh i've seen it yeah you know on the stove it looks very yeah yeah it smells good too and uh you know what it uh it was bad for a while and now it's good again you just gotta wait it out yeah it's a numbers game you just gotta keep you know what you're always trying to perfect yourself. Yeah. That's, what's your signature? You have to pick, like, company's coming over. It's your one chance to impress.

This is it. We do, like, a Thai coconut curry because you just throw it all in a pot and it just makes itself. Mm-hmm. That's, I like when pot things. Right. Mm-hmm. And then when you put that. What about you?

What's your thing? I don't think I think just like a Like a from scratch Kind of spaghetti sauce Would be Nice That's the one thing

That I can make That always turns out I can make other things But they always like I'm like Ah it's too spicy Does it have a name? Is it a primavera?

No it's a What's a primavera? It's like a creamy No primavera is like Correct me's a, what's a primavera? It's like a creamy? No, primavera is like, correct me if I'm wrong, it's just veggies. Yeah, this would be that then. Like just a bunch of vegetables like sitting in a pot for a long time, stirred, that kind of thing. Then you open it up. Blam.

Ta-da. Fugetti a la Graham. Blam. Blam. I'm different than Emeril. I say blam. Anyway, blam I'm different than Emeril I say blam anyway blam everybody yeah

um what's your least favorite food go oh yeah ooh uh meat I guess

just as is that too much yeah is that too much of a blanket I guess that's too much of a blanket um I guess I mean or like

no um ham it's ham oh is it ham yeah it's so pink yeah it is pink It's ham. Oh, is it ham? Yeah. It's so pink.

Yeah, it is pink. It is awfully pink. And my mom loves ham. She's always like, come on over for ham. Have you broken it to her that you're a vegetarian? Yeah, she makes me like a special faux ham on the side. She'll be like, oh, I picked you up some yeeves ground round. Here you go. Oh, no, I'm making her sound like that.

Yeah. Does she sound like that? Did you come over for ham? Come over for ham. It's ground round. Here you go. Oh, no, I'm making her sound like that. Yeah. Does she come over for ham? It's ham night. Most hated food? No, I guess I need to restart the question. What is like, as a kid, there were foods that you were like, this is yucky. And then now that you're an adult, you wish you had come around to it.

Like, I've come around to Brussels sprouts and asparagus. So, the food you regret not liking. Yeah, something that makes you still feel like a kid. Like, for me, it's olives. Oh, yeah. That's a sophisticated, grown-up food. It's a sophisticated, grown-up food, but I just don't, it's just like a salt bomb. Yeah, I think I, like, I don't, I'm a vegetarian as well, but I think in the time.

Because I'm a vegetarian as well. Oh, congratulations. But liver was always a thing that I thought was the most disgusting thing in the world. But then now, like, that I've seen, like, there are all sorts of fancy ways of preparing it as like a, whatever, a pate or something like that. A smoothie. Yeah, like a liver smoothie. But maybe it tastes good if you prepare it a certain way,

but the way that I had it was gross. I don't even like the time that the times that I ate it, I didn't know how anybody could eat it. Like I was like, it felt like it was a trick. Yeah. You got pranked. Yeah.

Blam. Blam. You just got hammed. Imagine trying to impress somebody being like, yeah, I'm a fancy adult. I'll have a platter of olives. Yeah, no problem. Yeah, sure. Give me a bunch of, oh.

Yum. Yeah, I'll have a bowl of capers. Together. Hey, everybody. Put together. Sport size it for me. Do you have an answer to my reformed question?

I don't like... I don't like rice pudding, but I feel like that's not hurting me in any professional capacity. And it's very sophisticated. All the grown-ups are eating rice pudding.

But rice pudding is a thing that people who like it really like it. And you know what? If that people who like it really like it. And you know what? If you don't like it, just put more sugar in it. I think that's all it is. It's just such a weird texture.

Yeah. It's all these little. Isn't it like little, feels like little eggs? Yeah. It feels like little eggs. A couple nights ago, we've been trying to, because I'm into Chinese food, Canadian style. Like I only like. You like a ginger beef.

Yeah. Lemon pepper chicken. Here's what we get like a ginger beef. Lemon. Yeah. Lemon pepper chicken. Here's what we get the same three things every time. Yeah. Chicken chow mein. Yeah.

Sweet and sour pork. Yeah. Oh yeah. And a beef something. Broccoli, chop suey, whatever, green beans.

Dealer's choice. Yeah. And so we've just like we don't like the place we've been going to and we, it's hard to look on Yelp for mediocre food. Because it's either like super fancy, weird stuff straight from China.

You want just like really right down the middle. You're like, I don't want the best. Yeah, I don't want the best. I want very good versions of the three things I like. But if you look for anything that's like four and above on Yelp, it's all just like congee and dim sum you have

to eat in the restaurant. Yeah, and it's all like authentic. It's not this food court. Exactly. Oh yeah, you just go to the mall. Yeah. Yeah, does the mall deliver? Maybe you can order a sweater from the bay and say, could you on the way? Oh, sure. Yeah.

Abercrombie and Fitch is actually kind of good now. So is it that because I've had that where like you're used to a restaurant and then uh the chef that is like leaves and it's like it's not enough of a difference that you're like oh this place is horrible now but it's enough of a difference to go like uh something's changed yeah yeah yeah something's gone wrong it's just that there's now like a layer of gelatin on top of the noodles and no one wants it. There's a lot of scraping going on. A whole lot of scraping going on. I feel like Grandpa probably wants it.

A little layer of gelatin. What a treat. He probably dreams about that. Just because it's got all the flavors of the food, but none of the chewing. It just goes straight down. The calories. Got that little waist. Flavors of the food, but none of the chewing. It just goes straight down. None of the calories. Yeah.

Got that little waist. Yeah, I used to go to this, like, years and years ago, this great Chinese restaurant, just like that. Like, it was not great, but it was not terrible. Where was this place? On Fraser. Oh, okay. And it was very cheap. How far up Fraser?

I'll tell you. I'll tell you off the air i don't care they don't get them but give the people a little thrill but uh they changed they they changed the chef and it was like changed him well they you they had a big thing that said like we have the chef from this other restaurant has come in and they had like a banner out front and it wasn't good i mean maybe it was good to the people that loved that guy's style but it was like the end of my delicious yeah the thing they always say is like you want to go to a chinese restaurant filled with chinese people not. No. I want to go with. The whiter the better. Yeah. I want to go with people who are in between the Gap and whatever, the Body Shop. We don't have, because in the States, there's these nationwide chains, right? Of like Panda Express. Yeah.

I think that might be a mall one, though. What's the other one, though? Isn't there another one that's called like P.F. Chang's or something? Yeah, that's Fusion. But like we don't have that. We don't have one that if you went to a different city, you're like, I know what I'm going to get at. The consistency. Yeah.

I think there's just like in any town in Canada, I mean, we're in a big city, but in any small town, you can just be the Chinese restaurant. Often that's what it's called. The Chinese restaurant? Yeah. I went to one, I did like an exchange when I was in high school where I went and lived in Quebec for the summer and they were very excited to be like, we're taking it. I lived in this small town called Victoriaville.

Victoriaville. Thank you. That's French. Victoria Field. Thank you. That's French. And they took me to the Chinese restaurant, and they had macaroni and cheese and frog legs in the buffet there. Oh, wow.

That was their local spin. But frog legs in the macaroni? No, just in the buffet. And was that the moment you became a vegetarian? That was it. No, it was before that. I've never had frog's legs. Even when I was a meat eater up until 45 minutes ago. Seems like so many bones.

People hate bones, right? Ankle. Ankle. They're also like, I don't know, they seem more muscular than like a chicken leg. And they have toes kind of. Yeah, yeah. Well, of course. Yeah, toes.

Toes. Yeah. But like you'll eat a chicken leg. I mean, you won't. But you would. But one would. I would. But like.

I've tried to eat a turkey leg. But they're not real toes. But you don't, I think you don't we don't eat a chicken foot. I mean, they sell them. Oh yeah, that's true. But like. And chicken foot is my favorite Sammy Hagar band with Buckethead

and Michael Anthony. Maybe Chad Smith? Who's in that band? Why are you asking me? If I named all four members of chicken foot, you guys owe me a coat. Looking up Chicken Foot. But these were the frog legs that had the foot. Yeah.

Yeah. Because there's... The real deal. I've definitely been in places that have had them, and they're really novel. By the way, I'm Googling Chicken Foot. Yeah. I typed in chicken, and I assumed it would just fill in the rest. I don't know. Where does the rest of the frog go?

Oh, guys. I got three out of four right. What was the other one? It's not Buckethead. It's Joe Satriani. Yes. Did you think that because it's like a chicken bucket? Yes, I did.

But I thought it might also be Bumblefoot. Yeah. I don't know where the rest of the frog. Oh, maybe the high school to dissect. Yes. Yeah. It's a full body program. Yeah.

So we just take the. Because, yeah, you don't often see like the full frog. It's always just frog's legs. Just a little hint. Don't give it all away. Yeah. Keep them guessing. Growing up, I remember the funny gross foods that they would put in a kid's show.

Yeah. It would be frog's legs. Yeah. Escargot. Oh, yeah. And liver. I feel like escargot's still gross. It hasn't had its heyday.

I think it could come back. I've had it. We predict it right here. Yeah, it's good. Is it in the little shell? Yeah. It's just butter. It's just butter and garlic that makes it, yeah.

What do you do? Snail meat. A little. It's just snail meat, man. Oh, Graham. But do you just, is there a tiny little fork that goes in? Oh, really? Yeah.

Wow. I've never seen anybody eat it. It's never like something that my mom was like, guess what, kids? We're going to do something horrible tonight. Now you'll go to a Mexican restaurant, for instance, and they'll be serving you tongue and cheek. And people know, maybe I don't watch kids shows nowadays. Maybe there are, you know, gags about kids trying to, oh, my mom tried to serve me. Tongue.

Yeah, tongue seems still pretty gross. But cheek, isn't that just, isn't that just meat? Yeah. Just meat. Just meat Just meat Well so is tongue No but tongue's got All it's weird

But they Taste buds on it They No they They slow cook it So it's Falling off the buds Cause I've seen

The tongue in the Grocery store And it does just look Like a tongue Yeah like it's all Pressed up against The plastic Yeah

And I You know Sure Will I poke it Absolutely Like sir Please leave just look like a top. Blah. Yeah, like it's all pressed up against the plastic. Yeah. And I, you know, sure. Will I poke it? Absolutely I'll poke it. You're like, sir, please leave. Will you rub it on your butt? Yeah.

Yeah, sure, absolutely. Yeah, obviously, I'm human. Yeah, but I... We dominate cows. We dominate cows. This is how I show it. But yeah, I've, I guess I never, like I never ate snake, you know? Do people eat snake?

Yeah. Snake, gator. Uh-huh. Gator I've heard of. Kangaroo? Yeah, they eat roo. Yeah. If it moves, we'll eat it.

Yeah, that blew my mind when I found out that people ate kangaroo. When we went to Banff, we went to a restaurant for lunch, and there was something that looked pretty good on the menu, but I was like, eh, I might as well have an elk burger. Yeah. Just so I can say I had an elk burger. And? It could have been beef. Yeah, that's what I wondered. Yeah, how would you know?

Same with bison. Yeah. Like, do frog legs, do they just taste like a chicken? I think probably. Do they taste like a lean? And same with snake. I'm sure snake and gator are chickeny. I wonder if there's anything else that tastes like ham.

Probably humans. Humans, yeah. That's my guess. Or is there any meat that just tastes like its own thing where you would be like, yeah, that is distinctly. Lamb? Oh, yeah, lamb. The other other white meat. I think it's a red.

Is it? I don't know. It's been a long time. It's a baby. It's a baby animal. You got it. Yeah, but it's not like a... I don't think they get veal abused.

No. They live in a nice place. Veal abused. I don't... Yeah, veal's always on these cooking shows that seems like yeah it seems like where people are making veal is mostly well it's weird because veal is very rare in the beef world but i never see mutton i only see lamb like i never see grown up sheep is that what mutton is mutton's a grown-up lamb i think i've never seen grown-up sheep. Is that what mutton is? Mutton's a grown-up lamb. Oh. I think. I've never seen it in a store. Prove it.

They're just too mouth-watering to get past childhood. They're the real top chef juniors. Master chef juniors. Damn it. Did you grow up a vegetarian or did you grow up in a household? Did you grow up as a television show recapper? You know, it's something I've fallen into. When I was a teen, I was a teen, I decided to eat less meat.

How did your parents take it? My mom was like, I'm not cooking you anything else. We're having ham. Wait, boy, are you telling me this on the night I just boiled a ham? Because this is one thing as a parent. I'm of two girls i think girls are more likely i'm sorry listeners i think girls are more likely to turn vegetarian in their teenage years and yeah i'm preparing for them one day to say dad i'm not gonna eat meat anymore and

i'm gonna be like fine and i'm totally just gonna switch you're gonna i'm just gonna not eat meat when they're home and then the second they're out the door just take a big you just stock this room with hot dogs yeah i'm just i could like totally i could see us just switching on a dime to being a vegetarian family yeah i mean i don't have to be vegetarian all the time no exactly when you go to vegas whatever you eat in vegas stays I mean, I don't have to be vegetarian all the time. No, exactly. When you go to Vegas, whatever you eat in Vegas stays in Vegas. I don't eat lunch with my teenage kids, I'm sure. Oh, no.

The new parents do. That's real water being a dad. No, these new age parents, they show up at their kid's high school. Don't mind me. I'll just be. Or you're eating with the cool kids. Yes. But I brought you fake meat.

That's an adorable situation. I mean, it would be horrifying if you were a teenager and your parents showed up anywhere near your school. But in the imagination world, yeah, it's very sweet. Thanks, I'm a cool. I'm a very good imaginary dad. World? Yeah. That's very sweet.

Thanks, I'm a cool, I'm a very good imaginary dad. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well. Yeah. Here's what's up. Not much. We, this year I've gone to quite a few hockey games. The Vancouver Canucks are my team of choice.

Go team, go. I appreciate all they've done for me. That nice calendar you have. Did they give that to you personally? Well, no, I bought that at Pharmacy. They welcomed him on to Center Ice. Proceeds go to Canucks for Kids Foundation. Proceeds go to Canucks.

I was at the game, a game a couple weeks ago And just in between Whatever they'll just show people On the Jumbotron In between plays And you know people in the crowd will be They'll start dancing or they'll do whatever Goofing off Or just cheering and notice themselves

On the screen and Cheer more And it was weird goofing off. Yeah. Or just cheering and then notice themselves on the screen and cheer more. And it was weird because they, at one point, this couple was on there and it wasn't kiss cam time, but they kissed.

Whoa. And it was weird. It was like, pervert. Save it. Pervert. Yeah. Watch us do this.

This is our thing on the grandest scale possible. That's why we come to hockey. Yeah. This is our thing on the grandest scale possible. That's why we come to hockey. This is our kink. It's very expensive. It was just unsanctioned kissing. Yeah. And did people cheer once they kissed?

There was a weird sort of like pause. Like everyone looking like, hey, they don't have a heart shape around them. Wait a minute. They're not playing, what's a good kissing song? Didn't Prince have a song, Kiss? Kiss. Yeah, that's one. That's a pretty good Kiss song.

What do they play during the Kiss song? Oh, Kiss Me by the Sixpence and on the Ritchie. Yeah. That's how you make the Ritchie. Yeah. Yeah. That's how you make the real bucks as a musician. You come up with a song that somebody can do something to. Yeah. Yeah, that's...

That's why Ray Stevens is so rich. Because of the streak. Is he still with us? I mean, he's not with us. No, no, no, but... Can you open the closet? I mean, not with us. No, no, no.

You open the closet. No, I think the last he heard, he was like a crazy right wing, like. Streaker. Yeah, he would do very. So he's streaking for their side now? Yeah, he'd be streaking against like universal health care. Streaking against. Yeah, streaking, you know know to pour more money into Israel

so he would show up at events that were pro healthcare and he would streak to disrupt them yeah

and he would you know I can't think of any like right wing issues like I guess for guns yeah yeah yeah, sure. He'd streak four guns.

He'd say everybody has just a bunch of guns. Yeah. If gay people were trying to get married, he'd streak and disrupt it. Yeah, I guess. And when he dies, the cartoon of him in heaven will be him streaking through the pearly gates. That's how you know he's still with us, because you haven't seen that cartoon yet. I haven't pinned it to my wall of

death cartoons. You should make some. Get ready. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's true, so that I can be the first on the scene. Check this out. At the funeral. Oh, no, Graham, no.

He would have wanted everybody to streak at his funeral, but just to disrupt it. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. So that's one of the things going on with me. The other thing was. Unsanctioned kisses. When we went to Chicago a couple weeks ago, months ago now, I went to Uniqlo, because that's a store I like, and we don't have it here.

Yeah. It's coming soon. Oh, really? Where? Richmond? I can't remember. Oh, well. Someone got a press release.

Damn. I got to go. But they have like an athletic wear line. So for those of us not in the know. Uniqlo is like a. Japanese. Yeah, it's a Japanese kind of H&M. Less trendy, more basics.

Right. What's, I don't. Like big puffy jackets or like t-shirts, button ups. Yeah, button ups, jeans, less sort of skinny stuff. Right. More, you know, you could fill in your office wardrobe with it. Oh, okay. And your weekend wardrobe.

Not necessarily. It's every stuff. It's everything for everyone. I don't know what's so hard to... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I get it. I get it, you guys. And they have this athletic line.

And I was like, oh, you know what? I'll get a shirt I can play tennis in. And I got... You have Snoopy playing tennis on it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was a white shirt and I should have tried it on, but I was like, this is so cheap, it'll just be.

I feel like they're losing money if I try this. Yeah, yeah. So I got it home and my problem with white shirts, I forgot when I bought this. Yeah, yeah. So I got it home. And my problem with white shirts, I forgot when I bought this, was that my nipples are so visible through them. They're pitch black. My nipples go down a few shades. Okay, it's a white shirt.

Yeah. So did you realize this? Of course, when you're out and you don't have anything to change into. On the tennis field. No, yeah. So, did you realize this? Of course, when you're out and you don't have anything to change into. On the tennis field. No, no. The truth is, I was like, I bought this. I'm going to wear it. Yeah.

I tried it on and, well, I have to go. I have to leave the house with it. Yeah. Nipples, so visible. But also, the material's so, like, thin and, like, stick-to-your-body-ish. Yeah. Is that a term? Yeah.

Would you say it hugs all your curves? Yes. But it also even hugs moles you have. So not only are your nipples visible, but just, like, a couple of moles I have on my stomach and chest. Just the tiniest little bumps are visible. So people are like, hey, you should have that checked out. Yeah checked out yeah it's not even like the color is see-through it but it moves the fabric i've never had a shirt do that before this is not a ringing endorsement of this uh good store my friend went on a shopping spree there they flew him to toronto he had two thousand dollars to spend

and he just like couldn't. He like went all around and filled up his cart with everything he wanted and like every size, every color and they were like, you still have like $1,500. He's like calling his family

like, what size are you? Oh God. Okay, see if they'll let you buy some Chinese food from the food court with it.

I've always been very afraid of winning a shopping spree. Oh, yeah. Because the idea of shopping and having people watching you do it would be very unsettling. And you have all that embarrassing underwear you buy. Has past guest Adam Pateman ever talked to you about his shopping spree at Yokoyama 123? No.

What's that? It's like a dollar store. It's like a Daiso style store. And he had to, I don't know. I don't know how long he had, like, 10 minutes to go around and, like, fill your cart with as much stuff as he could. With a mesh underwear. Yeah. And what did he do okay?

You know what? I'll let him finish the story one day. Yeah, yeah. Good call. Because I don't remember. But, yeah, like, that was a really big thing for a long time was win a shopping spree. And not as much. You don't hear it as much anymore.

No, but although. Of all the sprees though. Killing, shopping. I mean, shooting and killing. There, there. I once won a killing spree. Where? It was with Tad Hamilton.

Oh, weird. Yeah. I thought he was on the up and up that day. He's dead now. Did you kill him? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Yeah. I have. That's like a fun take on the purge. Let's kill Tad Hamilton. Win a purge? No, you can win a purge. You can win a fun take on the purge. Let's kill 10. Win a purge. No, you can win a purge. You can win a bunch of free crime. I wonder if that's part of one of the purge sequels that you can like win a, like you'd say, like win a purge.

Because they made more than that series could handle, I think, sequel wise. And then everybody would be like, stop doing that. No, no, no. I've got, look look I got an email I'm allowed to go I'm allowed to go 12 hours after the purge yeah

after everybody else has stopped I'm still people from Uniqlo are like keep purging yeah you can do

you have a few more kills yeah where you're calling people to say anybody you want me to kill I know I've run out

so fast I have a shirt like that that's very, that hugs the curves. And I think we're going to throw it out. Because every time that I wear it, I have to wear something over it. And then if I'm too hot, then I'm like,

nope, I gotta just keep this other shirt on. Because otherwise, I might as well just take off both shirts and just have no shirt. Why do I even own this shirt? Gotta purge it. shirt on because otherwise I might as well just take off both shirts and just have no shirt for how Why do I even own the shirt? Gotta purge it. Most of the

t-shirts I own now are like pocket t-shirts. Oh, sure. Only one nipple will be visible. Yeah, and then you keep everybody guessing. I also keep a Hershey kiss in my pocket, so people are like, wow, Dave. Your nipple is huge and melting.

Yeah. Yeah, what's going on with you? Speaking of clothing-related things, I was doing the weekend at the Comedy Mix, St. Patrick's Day weekend. So that's kind of... So by the way, listener... We're a bit behind. We're way ahead. Oh, we're way ahead.

But time-wise, we'll see you in the future. Yeah. Something came up and we... Well, people were in town, so we recorded. Yeah. Something came up and we, well, people were in town, so we recorded. Yeah. But St. Patrick's Day weekend is up there with kind of the week that Christmas happens as kind of weeks you don't want to be doing. Comedy, because of the drunkosity that's in the air. And it was actually not that bad a weekend.

But on the final show of the weekend. So St. Patrick's Day was Friday? Friday, yeah. Perfect storm. Yeah. You could kind of tell everybody was going insane with the possibility with the possibility, you know? The air was pregnant with future fistfights. That's a day for sprees, if I've ever seen one.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're kind of candy called sprees. Hmm. It sounds fresh. It sounds zesty. Yeah. You go on.

Okay. We'll look it up later. I don't want to interrupt. But this, so like we go through the whole weekend more or less unscathed. And then on the late show, just this fucking guy decides he's got to ruin our perfectly good streak. Not Ray Stevens style, fun streak. And he's there. He's like an older guy.

He's like a guy who should know better than to be, you know, like tripping up the show. And it was like as the show was, I was in the home stretch. On a Saturday. It's like. Yeah. No, there's nothing on March 18th. No. It's the boxing day of St. Patrick's Day.

Yeah. It's the afternoon of april fool's day you gotta cut it off yeah and this guy was uh just started in like saying things after jokes and i was like yeah and he was there with his wife and he was wearing like he was dressed he was a real bit oh man i didn't like her one bit. But he was dressed. He was the best dressed guy in the crowd. He had a nice shirt and a tie. He was the only guy in there wearing a tie. So I demanded.

I was like, you're going to stop with the heckling. And you're going to give me your tie. And I get to wear it for the rest of the show. Which he obliged. Wow. And then I got to do all these fun things like Rodney Dangerfield style. And then like pulling the, you know, like if a joke didn't go well, I got to do that. Were you wearing a shirt with a collar?

Nope. It's a too tight shirt. Yeah, it was a real Avril Lavigne up there. Oh, yeah. With my necktie. Complicated. But it was, it turned a thing that like, it felt like it was going into a horrible place into, like, a real fun time. I think that's great because he also got to, like, I mean, a heckler just wants the attention.

Yeah. And you gave it to him in a way that didn't really demean him. Yeah. He got to, you know, it's not like you took off his top. Yeah. him yeah he got to you know it's not like you took off his top yeah but it was like it was like a toll yeah where if you want to be this guy then you have to i think i'm gonna institute it's like strip poker yeah strip heckling yeah so it's like first you can just give me your watch yeah but then if you that's what a thief does.

Are you a shyster? I'd like to be able to shake hands with somebody and then- Oh, yeah. Do the watch. Steal from them? Yeah, yeah. Because isn't that the guy, the man on wire guy? Didn't he do that to the cop that arrested him? He stole his watch while he was being arrested?

Pretty cool. Right? Yeah. Say, Trey, cool was being arrested. Pretty cool. Right? Yeah. Say très cool, Victoriaville. Mama mia. What if that guy was St. Patrick? Did he look back and he was gone?

Yeah. Were there any snakes escaping? Yeah, I looked down and the tie was a snake. But yeah, so it was surprisingly not horrible St. Patrick's Day weekend, but that guy kind of, he tried to make it horrible, but it didn't work. What's your favorite

Irish thing? Probably the Leprechaun sequel to one of the sequels. There was like a Leprechaun 4 takes place in the hood. And then they made a sequel to one of the sequels. There was, like, a Leprechaun 4 takes place in the hood. Were you right? Yep.

And then they made a sequel to just that movie. It was Leprechaun in the hood 2. It was, like, not canon with the rest of the series. That's my favorite Irish thing. Your favorite Irish thing? I was in Ireland last year, and we stayed with this family, and the dad was like, oh, yeah, do you guys want to come to the dog races? There's dog tracks everywhere.

So I didn't go, but the fact that they're really into dog racing is fun. You know, big ham culture. Yeah, they love ham. They love dog racing. Yeah. Your favorite Irish thing? Probably that cover of Can't Help Falling in Love with You that had sort of an Irish vibe from Some Kind of Wonderful. I thought you were in physical pain recalling that.

I couldn't remember the name of the movie. You got there, though. I was going to say So I Married an Axe Murderer. I was like, that can't be right. No, that just had the laws. Do we want to move on to a bit of business? Yeah, that's what we want. Life can be fun.

Don't get carried away. You got to do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You got to shine your shoes. You got to sweep the floor. You got to clean your house You gotta do some more Take care of business Hey everybody

Business means this week That we're supported by ZipRecruiter Now are you somebody that's hiring? What do you mean? Say you're a small business Say you're a root beer company That hires many Seasonal, seasoning employees business. So you're a root beer company that hires many seasonal

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They're not just the people who work in the movie Cocktail, who are also movers and shakers. Absolutely. They're not just the people who work in the movie cocktail, who are also movers and shakers. That's true. You can find candidates in any city or industry nationwide. Just post one time and watch your qualified candidates roll in to ZipRecruiter's easy-to-use interface. And, you know, that means that you're saving time. You're not posting to all these different sites or handling emails or calls. that you're saving time. You're not posting to all these different sites

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Graham, when this is all said and done, I think we should recruit someone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are we looking for in somebody? Someone who works for free.

Somebody who's not, who sings us songs before we go to bed. Somebody who's very sweet who sings us songs before we go to bed. Somebody who's very sweet. Do we just need a sugar daddy? Yeah. Okay.

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Tickets for MaxFunCon and MaxFunCon East are on sale now at MaxFunCon.com. For sale now at maxfuncon.com. Overheard. Overheard. Yes, overheards. You know, where we hear things out there, and then in here, we share. And we always like to start with the guests.

All right. And you've come locked and loaded. Locked and loaded. I know you guys are pretty loosey-goosey with the rules, so hopefully this is good. You should see mine.

But I was at an event for work that was like a food and drink event, so very kind of fancy. You would go around and they had little plates and drinks

from chefs and winemakers all over the city. Do you like wine? I'll drink it. I'll drink it. I wouldn't, I'm not a connoisseur. I don't get it.

Yeah. Yeah, I kind of don't get it either, but you know. It's like, mm, grapes. These grapes have gone bad. Anyway, so it was a nice event, and my aunt had gotten a hold of a coupon code and invited her sister and her sister's husband. And they got a little rowdy at my work event.

Too many grapes. Too many grapes. And so we went, Max and I went downstairs afterwards. Let's just have one more drink. And the extended family showed up. And they were locked and loaded. The extended family showed up, and they were locked and loaded. And at the end of the table, Pat, my aunt's sister's husband,

I hear him opening a menu and being like, Hold on, it's nachos. And everybody's just had all this nice food. Nobody does. And then he's like, you're a bunch of pussies. Did he get that way just by drinking wine? Yeah. Oh, boy.

Imagine him on a St. Patrick's Day with the whiskey and the... That could have been him with the tie. It might have been him. We don't know. It's weird. I don't... Look, I don't get wine. You're all lying to yourselves. Do you get nachos, though?

Oh, boy, do I get nachos. In fact, I could get some right now yeah uh but i will watch i think i've watched four or five documentaries about wine on netflix oh yeah did you did you watch the one psalm i watched some yeah i i don't know if i watched some too i watched part of psalm too there's a sequel, there's one about... Psalm Fest. I think it was. Yeah. It was Psalm in the Hood. No, Psalm was about people

taking the sommelier test. Right. And the second is about... Was it Sour Grapes? Oh, maybe it's Sour Grapes. Oh, I know. Was that the one about the guy who...

Like the fraud one. Yeah, who duped everyone? Oh, what did he dupe them with? A wine or with his expertise? Both. He duped like he was a wine expert and he bought up all these wines. And then he resold a bunch and they were fraud wines. It's a weird movie though because you're like, I don't feel sorry for any of these millionaires.

Oh, you totally don't feel sorry for any of them. Especially the ones who found out they were duped and were like, no, I wasn't duped. I got the good badge. Like, no one can tell. You're all lying to yourselves. Also, like, when they find, like, an ancient wine and then that's a big deal, isn't it gross? Like, isn't it gross? Hasn't it turned into, like, a vinegar?

But isn't it gross? Like, I'll throw away um you know like spirits yeah you know vodka or mostly like creme de banana like any old if i have like liquor that's true nobody's collecting old creme de banana but like a cellar full of it? But if it's like two years old, I'll throw it away. Do you really? But it's got that creme. Yeah, well, yeah. That doesn't have any creme.

No, but like, yeah, even then. But like a wine. Like I have, I bought this stuff called Chambord, which is a raspberry. Somebody fooled you.

That's not a thing. Thing that comes in like this spherical thing. Because I had one drink that had it and it was so good. And I was like, I'm going to make drinks with this all the time. And the more time goes by, the more I'm like, I can't even crack it open now. Yeah. Like I'm

too scared. Oh, like because you think it's gone way off? I don't even know what my logic is. But does alcohol like whiskey or vodka or whatever, does it go off? I think once it's opened, it could. I don't know. I know that like Bailey's does.

Oh, yeah. But then you're back in the creme de banana conundrum. Dave, do you have an overheard? No. Oh, no. This is, guys, we've recorded a lot of episodes in a short amount of time. Here's how many episodes we've recorded. Two episodes ago, I talked about my dog was going to have his eye taken out.

Yeah. Later this week. Still hasn't happened. No, no, he's still a two-eyed dog. later this week still hasn't happened no no he's still a two-eyed dog um but speaking of my dog what uh the other day i was uh or let's say four months ago i was walking him uh at night and just uh walking up in my neighborhood and a guy normally someone sees my dog at night people just pass sure people are just trying to get where they're going. But this guy stopped.

And how would you describe my dog's looks? Funny? Yeah, he's an odd looking. He's very handsome. But he's got big buggy eyes. Uh-huh. And little pointy ears. Mm-hmm.

And a real smooth body. Real tight. Uh-huh. Just a guy came up to me and was like, oh, it's a gorgeous dog. Gorgeous. Yeah, he's not gorgeous. He's a lot of things. That's such an upsetting word in that context.

Such a gorgeous. And it was dark. He couldn't really even make out much of him. Yeah. Also, just stopping and talking to somebody at night feels like very unwholesome. He took my watch. My watch was gone by the end of it. That's why you shouldn't try to citizen's arrest.

But by the time we got home, my dog had pooped it up. Oh, the dog took your watch. No, no, no. The man took my watch, but he did a trick. One of those magician cunts. Mm-hmm. That would be a great street matter. Now you see me.

We caught up with Dave two weeks later and found out that the watch that we had stolen from was in his dog's face. Good trick. Great, great trick. Thanks. I love magic. Great, great. Thanks. I love magic.

I'm going to throw away an 18-mile bottle of bourbon, but I'll keep this stinky poop-covered watch. Thanks. Graham, what's up with you? Overheard-wise. Overheard-wise. I was on a ferry with some real... This is a boat.

Not one of the fast, one of these harbor-to-harbor. Not one of these fast and the fairest. No, no, no. This is a very slow ferry. I was sitting with some gals who were talking about their dream boys. What? You were sitting with them? Well, I was sitting in the same

general area. They were being very loud. How old were these dream girls? Too old to be having this conversation. How old is that? I feel like one may have been in their 20s. Stacey, tell me about your dream boys. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Where do I start?

Their nipples should be incredibly dark. Yeah, that's a good starting point. Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream. Make his nipples the darkest that I've ever seen. Anyways, these, I want to get the wording right. They were talking about their dream boys, and the eldest one, who I think was in her 20s, said,

I have a crush on Justin Bieber, and it's not going anywhere. Like she was addressing Congress. Yeah. I mean, it should go away by now. Yeah, although he keeps switching up his look, so it's like you're having a crush on a whole new boy. A fresh dream boy. Every new tattoo it's like a new Bieber to love. Yeah, and he like had crazy

frosted hair recently. And he wears weird sweatpants, a designer sweatpants. Yeah, but he he's someone that teenagers like. So when you stop being a teenager, it's weird to still like him. How old is he?

He's probably 20-something now. 23, I'd guess. So if this person is 23. Siri, how old is Justin Bieber? Yeah, how old is Justin Bieber? Oh, sorry, it didn't have sound on. I think 23. Siri says he's 23 and 20 days.

Oh! Siri's dream boy. Can you ask her? Yeah. Okay. Just a second. I will put the sound on for this. Turn it up.

Oh, you know what? I can plug it in. Like so many Glade products. That's why it smells so nice in here. It's lamb. It's sort of a lamb. Siri, keep. No, this doesn't.

Guys, Siri. It's going to be worth it. Siri. No, this doesn't work. Guys, Siri. It's going to be worth it. Okay. What were we asking? Who is Siri's dream boy? Siri, who is your dream boy? I forget. Oh, Siri.

Oh, how convenient. No, for real, Siri. Who do you want to knock boots with? I have everything I need already. Okay. Fair enough. You go, girl. Yeah.

She doesn't need a man to define her. I was hoping she would say Mr. Coffee. Something like that. Another electronic. Oh, sure. Inadimate. Yeah. Now, Graham.

Yeah. Is that all overheards are for us? No, no, no. We also have overheards sent in to us from people all over this fine planet. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. We say that, but we don't get many southern hemispheres. That's true. Is there a country you'd really love to hear from?

Yeah, I want to hear from Botswana. Yeah. Brazil. Which one's Botswana? I don't know. Is that the one where all the bots hear from? Yeah, I want to hear from Botswana. Yeah. Brazil. Which one's Botswana? I don't know. Is that the one where all the bots come from? Like you mean like spam bots? Yeah. Things like that? Spam bots,

robots. Yeah. Sex bots. Yes. Hot pots. You bet you're doing it right. This first one comes from Nash from Southern California. That's pretty good. Pretty close. I think that is the Southern Hemisphere.

Dude. I work at a tax office, and people often have to bring in their children while they sign the papers. One couple had two children, a boy of about six and a girl of about ten. The girl sat down on a chair and the boy started crying. That's the chair I wanted. The girl calmly stood, moved to a different chair, sighed, and said while rolling her eyes, Men. That's like something out of a sitcom.

About her little brother? Yeah. Men. Yeah. Am I right? Can't live with them. Can't live without Am I right? You can't live with them. Can't live without them. I think they could probably live without them.

I mean, we can figure it out. Yeah, I think science has now caught up with... With men. Yeah. That was our big thing is we were head of science, but now science has caught up with us. Well, I know one person who could live without men. Siri. She's so independent.

Mm-hmm. All the operating systems are independent. Throw your electrons at me. Okay. Okay. Okay. Pretty good. Spoof.

This next one comes from Angelo in Montreal. My friend told me about an exchange that happened between her kids as they passed one of Montreal's larger strip clubs. I'm going to say club super sex. Yeah, I'm going to guess super sex. Did you visit that when you were in Victoriaville? Victoriaville. Older girl. Hey, look, there's a strip club.

Do you know what they do there? Younger boy. Yes, girl. But do you know what they do in there? And the boy said, yes. And the girl said, naked women dance around poles for money. And the boy, looking at his grandmother, said, you lied to me. They're not taking paint off the walls in there.

So the grandmother was like, no, you can't go in there to just take your paint off the walls. Like paint stripping. Exactly. Good prank, grandma. But like, if someone asked me, do you know what goes on in there?

I'd be like, yeah. But if they asked a second time, but do you know what goes on in there? I would, I honestly would be like, I do not know.

No, why don't you tell me? Because I've been to strip clubs, but I've never even witnessed a lap dancing situation. You simply must. I don't know what goes on there. It's pretty weird. I don't understand. The thing I don't understand about it is who likes it.

It seems like a weird thing to do with your platonic friends. Yeah. Is what I think. Yeah. A bunch of you all get together. Have you ever been? I've never been. So maybe I'm missing out.

I've been. I'd say I've been four times. But one was we, like a group of friends, went in and there was nowhere to sit. So we laughed. Yeah. You're just standing at the was nowhere to sit, so we left. Yeah. You're just standing at the back like, no, we're fine. And the last time was just because there was one where the Starbucks on, like, Kingsway, across from Kingsgate Mall is.

That used to be, for like a year, it was a strip club called? Starbucks. No, it was Uranus Lounge. Uranus Lounge. Yeah. You gotta go. You gotta go. Yeah, yeah. It was a big. Uranus Lounge. Yeah. You gotta go. You gotta go. Yeah, yeah.

It was a big, I think somebody got shot there or stabbed. Maybe both. Or fellated. Yeah. One of those things. Yeah. It was one of those things. The big three.

This last one comes from Dan from Ottawa. A friend and I recently attended a craft fair in Ottawa. Fun. Fun. Yeah, fun, Dan. I can't wait to hear more. Do you think that Dan is a member of parliament? Yeah.

He's an MLA for Sarnia East. MP. Oh, damn it. He's just buying friendship bracelets for everybody. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to get these out. Crafty Christmas presents. Just for all the other. Yeah, I don't know. I'm just going to get these out Crafty Christmas presents Just for all the other

Yeah, I don't even know I'm just going to get them for people in my caucus I'm going to go across the Yeah, across the car The aisle Yeah, I'm going to Go down the aisle The front benchers

Oh, sure The guy who brings in the mallet I love The guy who knocks on the parliament door I'd love to be a backbencher. Yeah. Just getting a salary. And then what do you do?

Do you just yell things like during other people's speeches? No way. Stuff like that. Because you're a heckler. Yeah. But if you heckled at the wrong time, you have to give them your time. You got to give them your time. And then it's parliament.

So they've got two ties now. It's chaos. That's the problem with politics today. It's back to the future too. So this guy was at a craft fair in Ottawa. Oh, do you think he's maybe... Where one stall was selling what appeared to be small animal skeletons artfully arranged inside small glass bowls and picture frames.

As we walked up to the table, the vendor said to the person in front of us, all the skeletons are ethically sourced, except the guinea pig, which was done through a finishing move in Mortal Kombat. I was done through a finishing move in Mortal Kombat. I pulled a skeleton out of a live guinea pig. Did you guys ever have, when you were growing up, did the mall ever have a presentation where it was just taxidermied animals in the middle of it? Did the mall ever have a presentation at all?

I feel like once in a while the mall would have. Like a display, maybe presentations. Here's what the mall, the only displays the mall ever had that I ever saw was like Santa. Or win this Lamborghini. Guess what? No one wins. Well, at my mall, it was

just dead animals. What mall was this? I think it was Scott. It was in Surrey. I grew up in Surrey. I can't remember what the name of it was now. And they'd be like, come and see. Yeah think it was Scott. Is it Scott? It was in Surrey. I grew up in Surrey. I can't remember what the name of it was now. And they'd be like, come and see. Yeah, it was just like a wildlife display. And I'd be like, mom, where are all these animals dead?

Like, oh, they all died of natural causes. I can't possibly be true. Do you remember when we were in the airport? Yeah. And we went, our flight was leaving from this weird gate that we had never been to. But all the way there, they had like Disney toys. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

A weird selection of Disney toys. Why not Den? Why not? Yeah. I remember in Calgary Airport, they used to have this crazy display of all the illegal things that you weren't allowed. Like alligator belt or snake hat. What other things?

I wear a cobra snake for a necktie. Just a whole outfit. Made out of a roadside, made out of a rattlesnake hide. There was a lot of stuff that I didn't know existed. You know, ivory, lots of ivory things. Some sort of like rhino penis cream. Wait, made out of rhino penis cream sort of like rhino penis cream. Uh-huh. Wait, made out of rhino penis cream?

Or poor rhino penis. Yeah. Made out of rhino penis for you to put on your face or on your penis? No, no. Or made out of rhino for you to put on your penis? Buy rhinos for rhinos. It was buy rhinos for rhinos. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

That's not what your rhino penis can do for you. It was a very strange product that you would buy. It killed a lot of rhinos, but you would apply it to other rhinos' penises. Sure. Oh, boy, talk about class warfare. My coworker came in today and was like, oh, my aunt works at the airport, and she gave me all this, like, coconut syrup and things. Like, they confiscate liquids from people and then just keep them and give them to their nieces. Yeah, yeah yeah i knew

it i knew and i beg you i'm dying to get my wife to confiscate some liquid from me but do you know what they do in strip club they confiscate your liquid in addition to overheards that are written in we also accept your phone calls if you would like to call us oh boy this is a phone number i gotta memorize that i don't even need to stall because the number is one eight four four seven seven nine seven six three one that is one uh spy pod one like these people hi dan and graham I'm just driving out of the grocery store. There was a guy who worked there who had, like, a package of cookies. They're, like, little tiny ginger cookies. And he was looking for, like, where they are on the shelves.

And the girl in the cash was like, I don't know, try in the natural section. He's like, yeah, I look there because they look kind of artsy. I thought that was funny. My favorite artsy. I thought that was funny. My favorite part was that she thought that was funny. Yeah, my favorite part was that she seemed to be, like, arranging stuff in her car. What the phone up to your face? I looked in the natural section because the cookies looked artsy. Yeah, but you know if they came in like a brown bag

that had pictures of, you know, like hand-drawn label kind of thing, then you might be like, this is a natural food. Oh, sure. You know what I've been digging a lot lately is that Chips Ahoy. Chips Ahoy rainbow cookies? The rainbow chips?

Yeah, there's nothing natural in there. Oh, no, man. Remember there was a... They're so... It's like they're filled with M&Ms. That's so hard. Yeah. And the mascot used to be a guy called Kevin, right?

What? Yeah, that's true. That can't be true. For Chips Ahoy in general? No, for the rainbow. Because he touched the Chips Ahoy and he turned them rainbow. Wouldn't his name be Chip? No, his name is kevin and he

hoy could it be hoy he would touch the chips and then he'd go he oops his name was kevin oops i can't believe you guys don't remember this then say kevin how would why did he need a name at all i don't know i don't know why I remember that. He was my best friend. All right, here's your next phone call. Hey, Graham, Dave, possible guest.

This is Nick from Texas calling in with an overheard. I was just walking through a farm and home supply store, taking a trip down the metal aisle, when I saw two gentlemen talking to a disinterested store clerk. and I saw two gentlemen talking to a disinterested store clerk. The older gentleman was a big guy with a dirty, possibly bloody rag wrapped around his hand, clenching tight to his overalls. And the other one was maybe his mid-20s son. Couldn't really hear what they were talking about.

All I heard was the old man say, I know the can says not for human consumption, but it's like I always say, if it's good enough for a horse, then it's good enough for a man. And then the son looked up from his phone and said, yeah, he does say that a lot. And then the guy walks out and he's got horseshoes nailed to the bottom of his feet. Yeah, well. So I use mane and tail shampoo. Eating a sugar cube. That call came in a few weeks ago and I keep it on my desktop.

I keep all the calls on my desktop and then I go back and I listen just sort of the last few seconds so I can remember the call. Yeah. I did not remember the middle part about the bloody rag yeah it really seems like uh they were in the middle of a caper and they're like oh we need uh some sort of uh horse meat they're in the middle of the great horse meat caper Is that the point of the show? Yeah, they're in the middle of the great horse meat caper. You guys want to hear this Rainbow Chips Ahoy commercial?

Yeah, yeah. Is this with Kevin? Kevin was a colorful character. Seems everywhere he went, things kind of brightened up. His neighbor, Mr. Brown, said, don't touch the livestock, Kevin. His neighbor, Mr. White, said, don't touch the appliances, Kevin. Oops. Then one day he was counting the chocolate chips in a Chips Ahoy cookie. Oops.

And what did Mr. Christie say? Nice idea, Kevin. You ruined the Chips Ahoy. Really turned it around at the end. Thanks, Kevin. Oops. I'd say Mr. Christie is the real star of the show. Yeah, that's true.

But that, do you think the actor had to say he he he oops multiple times or just the once? Just got paid the one time. Had no idea how many times. Do you need another take? Oh, no, we're good. No, he he he oops. I audition. The actor that's over it, he he he oops.

He he he oops. Like, do your famous line, Kevin. He's at fan conventions. Yeah. He's so tired. My voice has changed now. Hee hee hee oops. He's got all these headshots of him with the cartoon, Kevin.

Yeah. How do you want me to sign this? Hee hee hee oops? You got it. You got it. Good luck on your marriage. E-he-he, oops. Kevin, here's your final overheard.

Hey, guys. This is Jackie in Chicago with an overheard. I was just on the owl, and there was this mother and young daughter sitting together, mother and young daughter sitting together and the daughter was kind of sleepily like sitting leaning against her mom's shoulders and all of a sudden

she kind of like popped up and this kind of half asleep voice just declared sometimes I think Halloween is a little too spooky. Just a little. Yeah, agreed.

I mean, I enjoy it as much as anybody else, but sometimes it does. It goes over the line. Spooks too hard. We have this Halloween book called Spooky House that we would read to Margo, and she didn't get that when halloween's over we don't want to read this book anymore it is a very hard transition as a kid oh and christmas is harder yeah oh to get out of christmas mode yeah and saint patrick's day as we learned oh yeah sure people wearing their their ties to comedy clubs yeah i want second helpings of ham. St. Patrick's Day ham.

Isn't it Irish corned beef? Is that an Irish thing? Yeah. Anything that you can boil. Yeah. They love boiling. Yeah. Oh, my God.

I mean, like, my granny, who is Irish, she, every time we went over her house she was boiling cabbage like she was forever boiling like what are you using that for just to make the house smell they don't have a glade sponsorship kevin remix yeah we're doing a little bit of, we're having a real Irish time here. Listening to Lick the Tins. Tie, tie, tie. Now let's wrap up the show. Yeah, with some nice, yeah, I like this. This is nice.

Stacy, that brings us to the end of this episode. All right, bye. Bye. Bye, the end. You have your own podcast. After Chef Junior, you can find it on iTunes. And you also once a month. Yeah. Proud of you.

Our next show is April 15th. Will that be after this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you guys are... We're a sketch troupe. You're kind of a goof troupe. We're a bit of a goof troupe. We have fun. Yeah, I performed on your one year anniversary. You did and you smartly did not hit

anyone with a pie. Yep. I knew to say no to that. I change songs in the middle. We don't usually play so many fun clips. I'm loving everything about it. Do you know what this is yet? Somebody streaking?

Somebody's streaking? Oh, it's so long. It's such a long intro. Such a big intro. Is he saying boogity boogity? It's Kevin. Look at that look at that? That's what I always thought it was. Look at that, look at that That's what I always thought it was Look at that, look at that

Okay guys, I'm ruining the show Movie clips Anything else you would like to plug? That's it, those two things Those are two great things Thanks Thank you so much for being a guest Thanks for having me guys, lots of fun

It was a pleasure to have you Totally Yeah, right? Yeah And all of you out there Thank you so much for listening guys. Lots of fun. It was a pleasure to have you. Uh, and yeah, right. Yeah. And, all of you out there, uh, thank you so much for listening.

We're doing a live show. I think tickets will finally be on sale. Do you know? Yeah. Then now that everything, that's what they've told me that, uh, now that I've signed the thing and all that stuff,

uh, which will be, uh, July 8th in Toronto. Yeah. At the harbor front?

Is that what it's called? Something like that. What do you know? Hmm. I know they call them the streak. Boogie Dead look at that.

Boogie Dead look at that. And if you like the show head over to MaximumFun.org check out the blog recap. Pictures and videos of things we talked about like the show, head over to MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recap. Pictures and videos of things we talked about on the show.

The Streak. MasterChef Junior, The Streak. Lick the tins. Kevin, the Chips Ahoy. We have got plenty of things to post. Don't you give me suggestions. Do you know who I am? And if you like the show, please do tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode.

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