Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 474 - Amanda Brooke Perrin

Episode Date: April 17, 2017

Comedian Amanda Brooke Perrin returns to talk tall actresses, dog surgery, and donut promises.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 474 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who he's always letting me know what the hot Snapchat filters are. Mr. Dave Schumacher. Today is a big purple sparkly beard. Pink, purple, pink, purple, pink, pink, purple.

Yeah, it seemed pink to me. Fuchsia. Yeah, it seemed pink to me. Fuchsia. And it's, so we took a nice picture of myself, our guest, and Graham, all with that beard. I mean, it'll only do two beards at a time. Yeah, I understand. There's only so much Snapchat can do. But, so Graham opted out.

Yeah. I set this one out, but you know what? There will be other filters. Maybe when Spider-Man comes comes out there'll be a special spider-man homecoming filter who knows where it puts you in a weird like yellow leather jacket was it red leather or yellow leather uh no uh it's hard to say um our guest today a returning guest to the podcast very funny comedian comedian, Miss Amanda Brooke Perrin. She's one of the cops who investigates the crime.

And the lawyer. Dave's one of the lawyers that prosecutes the offenders. Cool. Did you know that in the criminal justice system. 58% or whatever. You've never seen an episode of this, Joe. No, I haven't. But the theme song's so catchy. It is. But let's seen an episode of this. No, I haven't. But the theme song's so catchy. It is. It's very...

But let's get to know us. Oh. You've never seen an episode of Honor. How is that possible? I don't know. I just have heard the theme song so many times. How does it go? Yeah, story check.

There's like a cat. Yeah. It's Herb Alpert, I think, who does it. Or Mike Post. What do they, because all the CSIs had a different who song as their theme song. Do all the Law and Orders, of which there's now only one, did they have a different? They had a different like. Arrangement? Arrangement, but it was the same theme song. one, did they have a different arrangement?

But it was the same theme song. My wife and I have a little arrangement. What is it? Mostly guitars. Okay, yeah. Maybe some strings. Yeah, not real strings, keyboard strings. Okay. MIDI.

Amanda. Yeah? Since we last had one, you've moved from Toronto down to Los Angeles. Yeah. Who knows where I'll be next? Hopefully just still Los Angeles. Do you love it down there? Is it so much fun?

It's interesting. Amanda, like we have. Could you say my name again? Amanda. She's got like the trifecta of the three things we ask people when they move. Did you move to Toronto? Yeah. Moving to Toronto. Like, how's that? Yeah. Moving to Toronto, like, how's that?

Yeah. Moving to LA. How's that? Do you have a car? Oh, yeah. Do you have a car? Oh, is that like a usual question? Yeah.

Yeah, because we, it's like. We're into the California car culture. Cool. And like in Canada, it's not a given that a comedian would have a car, but in LA. You have to. I just, to be fair, I just bought one last week. Cadillac? Yes.

Toyota Prius. Oh, no, not a Prius, a Yaris. Oh, sure. And I named it Peggy Rodriguez. Why? I just felt like it was a Peggy Rodriguez. Oh, that's not like a character from Law and Order? No, but maybe. I've never seen it. Yeah, Officer Peggy Rodriguez. Oh, that's not like a character from Law and Order. No, but maybe. I've never seen it.

Yeah, Officer Peggy Rodriguez. She uses psychic powers to solve crimes. I want to hear all about Peggy Rodriguez. But the other thing, you're from Calgary. Our other question is? Where did you go to high school? I think we talked about this last time. Probably. Okay, well, for those of you just tuning in.

E.P. Scarlett. Hot off the presses. Not E.P. Scarlett. I went to Bishop Grandin. Okay, well, for those of you just tuning in. EP Scarlett. Hot off the presses. Not EP Scarlett. I went to Bishop Grandin. Oh, Bishop Grandin. And then to Bishop Carroll where you're supposed to learn at your own pace,

which my pace wasn't anything. And then I had to go back to Bishop Grandin. All right. So, so we've covered the three questions.

And, well, and the other thing when you were last on, you talked about your brother who proposed to his girlfriend using a flash mob in a food court. Oh, yeah. And now they're hitched.

We went to Bali. No, I don't know. Oh, okay. I didn't tell you about this. No. He also had a destination wedding, which officially makes him like if a backflip were a person. Every step of the way, it's been like it's like, oh, something else has happened in our lives. Let's throw a party.

And it's every single moment of their lives together. It's just a party. Well, so they they got pregnant like soups immediately. Was that in a flash mob too? That was in a flash mob. In a food court. We don't know who the father is. It was very confusing.

I could be the father. More like a flesh mob. Ew. No. But why not? Your mother got pregnant in a flash mob. So we don't know who the father is. But I'm your dad.

I raised you. I would watch the shit out of that episode of Maury. I almost called him Murray also. Murray? On those episodes of Maury, when they try to find out who the father is, the mother is, she's trying to get pregnant by whoever possible, right? Yeah. It seems like it wasn't, either she's the most fertile woman and she overcame whatever precautions she put in place. Sounds like all the guys overcame.

Oh, okay. You're weak. Oh. So, backflip. You're in backflip. So, you went to Bali. Where is, what is Bali? Indonesia.

It's not Mali. It's not Mali. Which is a drug I take when I go to raves. And there's so many raves in Bali. Indonesia. It's not Mali. It's not Mali. Which is a drug I take when I go to raves. And there's so many raves in Bali. I bet there is. There probably is. Yeah. I wasn't invited to any.

But we went there and it was actually very nice. But it's, I don't know, destination weddings are so much to ask of people. And it's usually like if it was Mexico, I'd be like, cool, just a hop, skip, and a jump. Right. But kind of a long trip. Yeah, like how long does it take to fly to? I think it was like a full 24 hours of travel time. My brother got married in Vietnam,

but his wife is Vietnamese. Yeah, that makes sense. That's why that happened. Did you assume you went? Yeah. How long of a flight is that? I don't know. 12.

Oh, wow. Well, I mean, you go to Hong Kong and then you spend a couple of days there. You have a custom suit made. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Was it an indoor or outdoor wedding? It was an, yeah.

Indoor or outdoor? Was it an innie or an outie? It was both, I guess. I guess mostly outdoor. How, yeah. Indoor or outdoor? Was it an innie or an outie? It was both, I guess. I guess mostly outdoor. How about Bali? Indoor or outdoor? Outdoor. Nice.

Did they get married in bathing suits like Tommy Lee and Sam Landry? Yeah, they did. They were all white. It was also a wet t-shirt contest. I did not wet. It's not even about the body. It's about the performance. That's what people don't realize about a wet T-shirt.

I thought it was just how wet can you get a T-shirt. That's what I thought. Yeah. People go like, I'm so wet. And then they go, how wet are you? I spilled a bunch of ketchup on my shirt and I had to like. Yeah, I really had to work with a toothbrush. I had to use a whole one of those Tide pens.

So many Tide to go pens. So. Wait, what was the. Oh, yeah. It was outside. Was it on a beach? No, it was on. It was in a resort, like a super nice resort.

It looked stupid nice. It was just like there was like a waterfront and then it just dropped off and it was just the like trees surrounding. It was it was very beautiful. But also I thought I would cry more. But because I was sweating so much, my legs cried for me. Like your body was like, we've used up tear reserves to cool off your legs. It was it was.

So in all the pictures, we took pictures, I think, after. Yeah. You're standing in a puddle in every picture? Literally. They're like, okay, raise the bouquets above your head. Like, we did it. And you're like, bouquet. I have my hand at like a nine, my arm at a 90 degree angle because I thought I had pit stains.

It's really cool what um uh how many people uh they're probably like 25 that's not bad for a destination wedding yeah did you know any of the people aside from family yeah i met my mom finally she was staying in molly the whole time. You matter thanks to Maury. Maury did a special Bali episode. We did Bali and had some real chats. Yeah, so my mom, my stepdad, some of his friends. I don't know. Yeah, it

ended up being very nice. What? Did you bring a date? God, no. Did you meet a feller? No, but I opened Tinder in Bali, and I found out that so many Australians live there. Of course. So many. Yeah.

I didn't know. You can say that about, I feel like any kind of, you know, where you can surf or, you know, kind of hang out. I know, but anywhere over there that's sort of like beyond Rangoon, anywhere that's kind of like the beach, it's going to be swarming with crikey. So did you hit it off with any of these Aussie fellas? No, absolutely not. Any of these Hemsworths?

No. Yeah, no, and I was newly single, and I was, no. And I was newly single and I was just curious. And then I looked and I was like, get me out of here. We're all just curious. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Just take a hand mirror and, you know. What does your Tinder bio say? What's the.

Oh, that's a great question. Thank you. I think right. You're welcome, Dave. What's the. Oh, that's a great question. Thank you. I think right.

You're welcome, Dave. I think right now it says that I'm Canadian because I moved. And then I. Oh, yeah. I talk about how I named my bike, Bike Tyson. That's pretty good. I'm a 5'10 Amazon woman. Oh, yeah. And I just upgraded it to say I probably swiped left if you looked like you bullied me in high school.

Does left mean no? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because there's a lot of those where I'm like, wow, he has a very nice physique, but he probably would have called me four eyes. All right. So, no, thank you.

Did people call you four eyes? No. I feel like that was sort of what, you know, the older generation said people would call you. No, but one time I did a Shrek impression and I got made fun of very, very often. Can we speak to Shrek? I can't. I cringe every time. Where did you do it?

Like on stage? No. I would think this was in junior high. But I, because I heard like the grade A bully do a Shrek impression. I'm like, that's not how you do it. Okay. Oh, boy. Yeah.

Oh, dear. And was it, okay. Oh, that is very frustrating when someone is like a mean person and they get like adulation for their bad Shrek impression. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, there's a new sheriff. Yeah, there's a new Lord Farquhar. And then I did not do a good impression. Halfway through, you're like, wait a minute.

I don't know how to do this. It sounds so different than in my head when I'm just doing a Shrek impression in the shower with a hand mirror. Yeah. Imagine I just introduce it like comedians do on stage now. This is my impression of Shrek. My impression of Shrek. I'm not going to do that.

Oh, come on. You have to do it. That's not fair. You're giving us green balls. No. Oh, balls. No. Oh, God. Now, what is that animal that's like a small horse? It's like, oh, it's got, I think another word for it is an ass.

What do you call that thing? Just a donkey. There we are. There it is now if you were in junior high when youtube was around surely you would have done a shrek impression online oh every week would have been a different impression i'm not you'd be a the new lonely girl 15 is that what she did oh yeah i forgot about lonely girl was she on youtube or was she pre-YouTube? I don't know.

I don't know because now we're already into generation two of YouTube stars. And it's wild, man. It's a whole new frontier. I would call the web series Star Shrek. That's pretty good. That is pretty good. Thank you. Star Shrek.

That's pretty good. That is pretty good. Thank you. So, because a lot of, you say that you list your height in your Tinder bio. A lot of women do that. Is it because, why? I had actually never thought about doing it. And then I went on a date with a guy that was like kind of shorter than me.

And then. And it's a big deal to him? I think so. He was just kind of, he was like, oh, wow, oh wow taller than i expected and i was like is that bad should i put that in my life in la yeah was it danny devito it was danny devito it was and i was like hey where's ria oh and he was like uh i didn't know that you knew who i was. Collarpole. He actually said that as he did it. Yeah. Collarpole?

Yeah. That's a great thing about, you don't need to close captioning with Danny to be able to. Yeah, collarpole. You know what movie I love? Is Incollarpole Cruelty. Wow. You should turn into my YouTube series. What's a collarpole?

Incollarpole Cruelty. Rhea Perlman is my wife. Is that your Danny DeVito? There's a thing. Oh, no. This is my Danny DeVito. We're twins now. Now do Arnold.

My brother, you are my twin. Keep requesting Keep requesting Eddie Murphy Eddie Murphy Oh boy You know all the 80s ones Now

On I wish you were me When I did the Shrek impression Well I was never bullied So Clearly Amanda Yeah

Now On It's a thing on tinder that men like women will ignore men who are below six feet yeah there's a short bias yeah that there a lot of women i've noticed will list their height if they're five ten so i guess maybe it's to avoid what you i'm doing i think i just wanted to maybe it's to avoid what you have to do. I think I just wanted to do it for their benefit. Like I have a history of dating tiny men that I could crush if I accidentally sat on them. And your first dance is always their shoes on your feet. That's very adorable.

When you can pick up. I bring a ruler everywhere being like, you must be this tall to ride. A lot of women have gone the extra step on the app and said guys under a certain height. Really? Yeah, which I was like, huh, that seems like something that a man would put on his profile. This is the thing that I'm noticing with height on Tinder, which when I first saw it, I was like, that's kind of clever. It's like 5'8", 5'10", and heels.

Like men are riding this? And I was like, ha, ha, ha, the first time I saw it. And then like eight people in a row had that. There's also something that's spread around on Tinder. Herpes? Yeah, probably. But it was, it's this, I think it's hilarious. It's women and they put in their bio, send me $5, see what happens.

Yeah. And they've shown that guys will, you know, PayPal them $5 and then they just unmatch with them. Genius. See what happens. Yeah, see what happens. Yoink. I think that's genius. Now, you've gone on Tinder dates. Yeah. Yeah, see what happens. Yoink. I think that's genius. Now, you've gone on Tinder dates.

Yeah. Graham, have you? Mm-hmm. Oh, I thought you just met, you know, you chatted around. Yeah, I chatted, I went on two dates. From what I hear is that

people, no, I'm... That makes it sound like he's just going around singing the Frasier theme song. Yeah, I'm listening. I'm like, yeah, I around singing the Frasier theme song. Yeah, I'm listening. I'm like, yeah, here's the blues. No, I mean, it's a lot of nothing happens. Nothing leads anywhere.

A lot of people talk and then you're like, hey, we're having a fun conversation. And then you just, you're like, so. Want to continue this in person? Yeah. Yeah. You want to make this more interesting? How about we make this interesting? Send me $5.

I'll slip into something a little more comfortable. But yeah, a lot of people just vanish. Like mid-conversation. Yeah. I'm not interested. Do you think maybe they've been raptured? Oh, I don't think so. And then you look at their picture and it's just their shoes?

Yeah, with smoke coming out? Oh, that would have been such a cool episode of the X-Files. Yeah. Or the leftovers. Yeah. Leftovers doesn't explore people who are mid Tinder. What's that? The leftovers doesn't explore the phenomenon of people who are mid Tinder. People who are about to match.

Yeah. Why in my version of the Rapture are just your shoes left on earth well because you can't go up naked but yeah you do have to take your shoes off when you get to heaven because everything's so white yeah yeah they're like yes uh if you don't have a shirt if you don't have shoes all of the service yeah they're the opposite of convenience stores up there yeah well they're not although although, I don't know. A lot of visions of heaven are that it's very bureaucratic. That there's like a lineup and that there's a list and that you have to,

they do a funny line when a celebrity gets there. Yeah, exactly. No raspberry berets in here. Somebody who's like never listened to prince before um uh but you've gone on dates on tinder yeah and anything decent or just horror show no they've been okay the worst ones are when i feel like I have to make the conversation to just keep talking when they're timid people. I find that hard. Like you're coaxing them out of their shell? Yeah, I'm like, I do this for a living.

Give me money, bucko. I'm making you laugh. Get out of here. Whereas in the old days, timid people would just never go on dates. That's right. They'd have no chance of meeting anyone unless they were, you know, a cup of soup. Also, years and years ago, one of my favorite reality shows ever was set in L.A. Was Blind Date?

I wouldn't say it was set in L.A. L.A. was really the fifth character. It was the fifth character after the two people dating, Roger Lodge and the professor. I loved blind date. Yeah, I loved it too. Do you remember a lima date? Yes. Oof, that was a good one.

It had a bus? Oh, it was a bus. Yeah, yeah. So how did, do you remember how it worked? Because I do not. I think it was just like, there were like six people on a bus. And then they interviewed. Starts off gross.

It starts off gross. And then there was the dater. And then they interviewed them. And then they. I don't know if they got off the bus one by one. I'm the dater Arnold. Pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're a classic Arnold from the 80s. I think. but did they get off one by one or did they do group things? I don't remember. I never watched it. I watched every episode of Blind Date and never watched any Elimidate. This is

bullshit. Blind Date, Elimidate, and then there was The Fifth Wheel. Oh, yeah. Maybe The Fifth Wheel was the one that took place. These were all the syndicated ones that happened after the dinner hour. Yeah. And Blind Date, though, was you would go do karate together or something like that, do a climbing wall, and then a sensible meal, and then something like a hot tub. Yeah, or sumo.

Yeah, do sumo suit. Oh, no, it would always end with something that had the potential of touching. Yeah, or sumo. Yeah, do sumo suit. Oh, no, it would always end with something that had the potential of touching. Yeah, that's right. But they always had good occupations on Blind Date, and then Eliminate was like, DJ. I mean, a few people were on multiple of these shows, I'm sure, as they're struggling actors just wanting to be seen.

Just like The Last Bachelor. Oh, yeah? He's been on like three seasons of The Bachelor. He's like, just looking for love. So that just shows that stick-to-itiveness can get you to, you know, he just kept showing up. He really did. And did he win?

Do you win at The Bachelor at the bachelor if you're the bachelor you you've already won you i mean you're the you're the trophy yeah oh you're not there to make friends you're there to make intimate life partners who won who was the lady bachelor it was oh no no who won his heart uh it was actually a girl from Montreal. Oh. Vanessa, I believe her name was. She was a favorite, and then she was too serious in the end. So this last season was Bachelor, so next season Bachelorette. Yeah. But somebody told me they were mad because they announced the Bachelorette partway through.

It leaked. Yeah. It got leaked. Somebody told you on this very show. Oh, really? I forgot. A boy. It's one of our It leaked. Yeah. It got leaked. Somebody told you on this very show. Oh, really? I forgot. A boy. It's one of our boy guests.

Yeah. I don't. I don't like it. I haven't seen The Bachelor in a long time. I watched it when I lived in a place that had television. Yeah, I don't have cable anymore. I have to go to friends' places. Do you have Bachelor watching parties?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Who's your Bachelor pal? Right now, it's like Anessa Frontowski, a sketch comedian from Toronto. And then she invites a bunch of other Canadians that live in LA to her place sometimes. Does she have bachelor themed snacks? No, it's all willy nilly with the snacks.

But there's always so many. Like, are we talking savories, sweets? Do you bring, what do you bring? Cider keys? Thank you for asking, Dave. Whenever I go to a party, which doesn't happen very often, I always bring a classic chip and dip. A chip and dip. Like a classic.

A potato chip? A potato chip. Not a nacho and seven layer? No. Although that would be very classy. Yeah. No, I usually bring like a Ruffles situation. Oh, they have ridges. With ridges. And then the dip. It's a good scooping chip. Yeah. Yeah. No, I usually bring like a Ruffles situation. Oh, they have ridges.

With ridges. And then the tip. It's a good scooping chip. Yeah. Yeah. Like a ranch tip. Good structure. It's corrugated.

Yeah. It's a classic corrugated chip. Rigged for her pleasure. Like this election. That's what they should have said about Hillary winning the election. Classic. Like this election. That's what they should have said about Hillary winning the election.

Let's go back in time and get rich off selling T-shirts to Trump voters. I bet we could make some money selling those to people who are taking engineering in university. I'm rigged for her pleasure. Pretty great. Down in the States, speaking of snacks, everybody goes on and on about Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's, yeah. Is that where you, are you in snack heaven? Snack savior is what I call it. I don't call it that.

I've never called it that. Yeah, no, Trader Joe's is really good and it has some healthy options. Boo. And the cheese is hella cheap. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I heard that. Yeah, I think everywhere in the States it's cheaper than here.

What are we doing wrong, cheese-wise? The Canadian Dairy Foundation is running like a cartel, I tell you. Oh, yeah. Big udder. Is it really? I think they all agree not to lower their prices. It's like OPEC. Oh, weird.

That's just rude. It is rude. But also, as Canadian as that song, why you gotta be so rude? Is that a Canadian song? Is it our anthem? There was like a streak where a Canadian artist had a number one song every summer for like four years in a row. You had Carly Rae Jepsen.

You had Robin Thicke, Canadian by Spurl. Default. And you had Magic with Rude. Robin Thicke really... He kind of vanished into thin air. Well, he lost his father. Okay, now you saved it. No, didn't he cheat on his wife?

Yes. Yeah. And then he put out an album trying to win her back and everyone was like, oh, we don't care. Yeah, everyone was like, no, thank you. Make the album, but just give it to her. Don't make us. And he was married to Paula Poundstone? Yeah, yeah.

That's not correct. Paula Abdul? It was Paula something. Well, Paula Poundstone, I don't think. Well, it might have been Paula Poundstone. Speaking of, you're not the tallest female guest we've had on the show. Yeah. Paula Poundstone. Oh my God, how is that?

Oh, I'll go back. Don't tell me. Well, even she wasn't the tallest. Cheryl Swoops. Yeah. Cheryl Swoops. We also had, I don't know any other tall. Who's the tallest actress? Currently, like current actress.

Who's the tallest? Probably neck and neck. Like it's probably all. It's probably someone who has a really long neck maybe Nicole Kidman oh yeah she's tall I mean I'm gonna google tallest actress please do cause now I'm curious

but I'm thinking it's probably someone like Glenn Close okay yeah is it cause her name is Glenn George Amirassan well it's cause you need someone who's tall to play Alfred Nobbs. Albert Nobbs? I don't know what that is. Who's the thing she played? Okay. Tallest actor.

Alright, this is from... What site is this? Of course, it gives you the best site as the default. EliteTopLists.com You should go to Amazon.com. That's very good. Very fun. Okay. Rebecca Romijn. Oh. Yeah. That's very good. Oh, very fun. Okay. Rebecca Romijn.

Oh, shit. 5'11". 5'11". Okay. Charlie Theron. 5'10". Yeah. I can see that.

Well, Brooke Shields is six feet. But according to this, she's not a whopping six feet. She's a who whopping six feet. She's a whooping six feet. Jane Lynch, a six foot. Okay. Uma Thromondon. Oh, Uma Thromondon. That's a six foot.

Wow. Kristen Johnston. Kristen Johnston, who's that? From Third Rock. Oh, right. She's six foot From Third Rock. Oh, right. She's six foot. Allison Janney, six foot. Bridget Nielsen.

Oh, yeah. Six one. Whoa. How tall was Flava Flav? He was short. I mean, how tall is he still? Yeah, he's still. All right, Flava Flav.

Breaking news. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, the woman. It's no time anymore. The woman from Gwendolyn Christie from Game of Thrones. The tall, short-haired blonde lady of 6'3". And this doesn't count.

Their number one, Gabrielle Reese. Who's that? 6'3". She was a beach volleyball player. What? Who was maybe a model after that or maybe like hosted an infomercial about selling her own

line of fitness thing. I don't think she's an actress. I'm shocked to find out that a website like that Elite top lists. I mean, it's one of our

it's the whooping best website we have. Are you kidding me? It's the whooping best. Ugh, whooping cushion. Okay, cool. kidding me it's the whooping best uh whooping cushion okay cool cool uh and uh you're just up here you're doing your own show doing your own thing doing my own thing flipping it and reversing it for the vancouver crowds amanda brook parent has friends

yeah you're doing it i am and you uh last weekend you were in were in Victoria with a past guest. And ex-boyfriend. And past boyfriend. Past boyfriend, Chris Gordon. Chris Gordo. And neither of us will ever take it back. If I could turn back time. What's that like, performing with your former...

You know what? it used to like right after we broke up and he was emceeing shows he'd always bring me on as his ex-girlfriend and i was like that doesn't sound like him yeah yeah uh yeah but now it's i think it's it's normal except for last night i had a little bit too much and he was was emceeing, and I was headlining, and I was like, give it up for my ex-boyfriend. That's real. Like, I got right into a woman's face. She didn't care.

Yeah. I don't know either of you. I don't care about either of you. But it's fine. You guys are chums. Yeah. Oh, good. Yeah, Chris is a good person.

He is. I don't work with him. Are you friendly with all your exes? I think so, yeah. Yeah, I don't think. Oh, except for one who doesn't have social media, so there's no way I could ever find him. He goes to a different school. He goes to a different school now.

Yeah, he's Canadian. He lives on a farm now. At least that's what his parents told me. We sent him to live on a farm that happened my parents actually did that with us with their guinea pigs and i literally said that and it was first or right around the friends episode that that happened on and uh i didn't realize it for years. And they kept trying to tell us that we were allergic to the guinea pigs when we weren't.

So your parents were like, why did they? Why would guinea pigs be happier on a farm where there's so many just like owls? Yeah, exactly. Foxes just, right? I truly think that the neighborhood dog ate one of them. And then that's what they did.

Oh, were they outdoor guinea pigs? One got out. I just like vaguely remember chasing one. My brother. He's the one. How fast do they run? Like pretty fast. I guess they skitter.

I vaguely remember it. My brother's escaped and it was named Arnold. Oh, welcome to the guinea land. There's a place called Guinea. Yeah, yeah. Then I think because I was dropped on my head. Papa's got a brand new guinea. Papa new guinea.

There you go. I named my guinea pig Hammy, which is usually what you named hamsters. But I didn't know the difference. But why did your parents get you guinea pigs and then told you you were allergic? We got to get rid of guinea pigs. Oh, because guinea pigs suck. Do they?

Oh, they are so much work. They're really loud. They're really loud. Are they loud? You have to clean their cages every day, pretty much. Oh, brother. But what do they do that's loud? Like they make a...

Dave's the man of a million voices. I loved you in Gremlins. Is that what they sound that's loud? Like they make a... Dave's the man of a million voices. I loved you and Gremlins. Is that what they sound as loud as? I haven't seen it either. What? I haven't seen Gremlins. Dave, you're my pop culture guru. I remember the theme song from Gremlins.

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. We're a bunch of Gremlins. Gremlins is a good movie. I think it's probably worth it. I think it holds up, but I haven't seen it is a good movie. I think it's probably worth it. I think it holds up, but I haven't seen it in a long time. I didn't see any cult 80s movies that started with G. No Gremlins, no Goonies, no... Ghoulies?

Garbage Pail Kids. Yeah, sure. No Gatroop Beverly Hills. Did you like Garbage Pail Kids when you were a kid? were no i found out about them much later in life and then i think i watched it was it a show no it was a it was a set of training yeah and then it was a movie yeah but i don't think it was ever they were gross i mean they were supposed to be yeah even as a kid i was like i find these gross they're unappealing. And like, you know, putrid Paul. Yeah. Yeah. It would be like, just like a garbage patch.

Anus Amanda. Yeah. Just have snot coming out of it. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Snotty Scotty. Yeah.

He's on fire. Keep going. Tell me something gross. Toilet paper Tommy. Okay. You did it. Toilet paper Tommy. Okay, you did it. Toilet paper Tommy, Jeff. Did you collect?

Were you a collector when you were a kid? A bone collector? Were you a bone collector? I was a bone collector. Don't like to talk about it too much. I was a boner collector. Yeah, there it is. Here we go.

No, I think I collected pogs for a hot period of time. Yeah. Slammers. Good times. Well, slammers were heavier. Yeah. I don't, I don't, pogs polluted me. Pogs were, yeah. And like, was that late 90s? Yeah. I was done with, you know,

childish things. Yeah, you put away your tailings. I'm so young. Pogs. I'm so young. Pokemons. Yeah, you're so, you're the youngest your two. Pugs. I'm so young. Pokemon. Yeah. You're the youngest guest we've ever had. I'm a baby. You're the tallest, youngest guest we've ever had. Yeah. Put that on your list.

Yeah. Take that, Gabrielle Reese. Yeah. Yeah. What is it called again, the website? Elite Top List. Elite Top List. Elite Top List.

Elite Top List. Elite Top List. Elite Top List. Elite Top List. Elite Top List. Elite Top List. Elite Top List. Elite Top List.

Just type in whooping into Google. It'll find it. Yeah. What was Pogs? You threw It'll find it. Yeah. What was Pogs? You threw them at each other? Yeah, it was really dumb. Were they made of cardboard? They were made of cardboard. If you got a slammer, though, those ones turned more

over. Did they come in packs? Yeah, you could get them in packs. Where did you normally get them? I think you could get them at like 7-Eleven. In packs? Yeah. So that was something like if you did okay in the soccer game that your mom would buy you pogs? Yeah, that was the whole point of the game. Like if you were in competitive pogs, if you slammed over another person's pogs, you got to keep those pogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But what if that's what you were amazing at? Like there was a very brief window that you could have shown off your ability i'm absolutely sure there's like a skateboard dad that misses the 90s so hard what is a skateboard oh i just feel like a man that um was super heavy into pogs and skateboarding at one point and now has kids and now has pog babies so you like he's hoping that pogs come back so he can really yeah like move over kids here's my powerpuff girls pogs yeah yeah don't you think i don't know there's usually one of everything in the world that's what i like to think and there's uh so many you knowel universes That in one of these universes

You are one of these Pogdads Skateboard Pogdads Yeah that's true Email me at Pogdaddy At Pogcity.com

So the website is Pogcity Yeah Dot com Yeah And you That's where you registered Your email

Yeah yeah Pogdaddy Pogdaddy At Pogcity Dot com Okay Slash Oh there's a slash In your email Yeah there's a slash Yeah, yeah. Pogdaddy. Pogdaddy. At Pogcity.com. Okay. Slash. Oh, there's a slash in your email.

Yeah, there's a slash in my email. Slash slamma jamma. Backslash. Uh-huh. Hot for Pogs. So this is like code now. Yeah. Or are we spelling out the words?

Backslash and slash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a hacker. Oh, are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a hacker. Oh, are you? No. Oh, God. I don't want my reputation torn. No, you could be the hacker comedian.

There isn't that. There really isn't. Oh, man. I think that would be great. What does the hacker comedian wear? A hoodie. A hoodie. Yeah, he comes up in a Guy Fawkes mask, takes it off.

We're from F Society. Yeah, we're taking on the deep state. It would have some sort of face on his t-shirt with the eyes and mouth cut out. Or like X's over them. So that you just see his skin. His nipples. His nipples and his belly button? I'm a hacker.

I'm a hacker. I don't know what I did to my hair. Is this material hacker related? Yeah, it's all hacker. Everybody open your phones and type this in. Who likes impressions? Julian Assange. Paper Vendetta.

Is that a thing that he would be interested in? Yeah. A classic hacker. You know, I took the red pill instead of the blue pill. Yeah. Yeah. I just joined Alcoholics Anonymous. Oh, well, it's very nice to have you back on the show.

Thanks for having me. Oh, it's a pleasure. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, like three weeks ago on the show, I talked about how my dog was going to have his eye removed. And then, full disclosure, it's like that happened six days ago. So we've just been, because of Max Fun Drive, we wanted to have Alicia on for week two, but Craig Anderson was in town, so we swapped his episode so it was later. And then I was supposed to go out of town, so we were banking an extra episode,

and then I didn't go out of town. So here we are. If you're lost, go to pogcity.com. Yeah. There's a mind map there to pogcity.com. Yeah. Pogcity.com. Slash. There's a mind map there. Mega slam-a-jamas. Slam-a-jamas.

Yeah, slam-a-jamas. So, we, yeah, last Thursday, he had his eye, he went into the doctors in the morning. Yeah. And we were like, he had no idea what was going on. No, dogs are always the last to know whenever anything's going to happen. You can't, like, explain it to him. It's heartbreaking. Yeah.

Like, no matter how many times you cover his eye, go like, no more. Yeah. So, he, yeah, we took him in, and he was there for a few hours, and then Abby went and picked him up and brought him home, and it was so, oh, it was awful. Yeah, well, he had to have. They shaved half of his face. Shaved his face. And then they don't just, like, pop it out. They have to, like, make a big cut along his face.

That is what I found very surprising. I thought it was just. Because they have to take some tissue out around it as well. And so it's a big scar, like halfway down his face. It'll cover up with hair eventually. But now it. He looked like the Robert De Niro Frankenstein. Oh, yeah.

That was a really like spooky version. Our fleshy Frankenstein. The first non-green Frankenstein. Or that guy, that cyborg guy from Mortal Kombat. Yeah, cyborg guy. Yeah, what was that guy? Kevin. Kevin.

Chase. Chase? No, what? Oh, it's going to bother me. Okay, keep going. I think it was Scarry Scott from Garbage Pail Kids. And so it was, yeah, no, it was a very, so he came home and he was so drugged up.

It was so, like, that was the hardest thing to take was. He was so dopey? He was so dopey so that, like, not only did he look really bad, like there was a little bit of blood on it. No, no. He was puffed up a bit and bruised. He looked like a fighter probably but you couldn't see anyone in there in his one eye like you like he was just so out of it and then yeah and the

next day and the next day you could like see it was him again like he recognized you and so no matter how bad he looked he if you felt so. But he, yeah, so they brought him home and he had fentanyl. Oh, yeah. He had a fentanyl patch wrapped around him. A deadly, deadly opioid. A deadly opioid. We have to, we cut it off him, but we have to bring it back to the vet. Like they have to keep track of where all of the fentanyl in the world

is wow god yeah because it's become like uh it's like the thing to mix your drugs with and people will try to steal it wow i didn't even think about it's uh it's a painkiller the the like it i mean fentanyl that you prescribe is a pain and. And when they mix it with heroin, it makes it, it has, I guess, a similar effect to heroin. It's just, you need the tiniest, tiniest amount. Like a grain of sand will kill you. Yeah. And it's, it's a much cheaper, like the, the fentanyl, a lot of the stuff that they're cutting. This is all stuff that I was told to be by guys.

You seem to know a lot about this. I just, you know, I just know a guy. Fentanyl Franny over here. But it's cheaper than the drugs. So mixing in a little bit makes your supply go longer. But apparently the fentanyl they're using is not medical grade. It's the homemade. Yeah.

But yeah, so. So that. Has the patch already come back or? No, we still have the patch. Do you need the patch? The patch is apparently it's used all of its fentanyl, but we still need, they need to keep track of it. Wow.

And like, what was it? Did they have to shave a little patch to put it on him? I don't know. No, it was wrapped around his leg or around his foot. So maybe his foot is, it's got skin. Yeah, yeah. Maybe that's why dogs don't like you touching their paws, you know, because there's no, there's like limited hair there. I don't know.

Abby describes a game she plays with him where he's lying on his back and his feet are facing, and she's just poking in between the toes in that little web. Oh, yeah. And she describes the game as, well, here's how it works. I poke him there, and then he hates it. What a fun game. Yeah. She wins every time. Yeah.

And he has a big cone on his head. Yeah. And he can't take it off for, like, three weeks. Coney. 27. So, yeah. And we were, I was supposed to go to, we were all supposed to go to Palm Springs this week. Yeah.

Instead you got me. Instead we got Amanda and a dog to take care of. I just saw a video online, as I do. I have a lot of dog videos streaming through my Facebook page. And they put popcorn in a dog's cone. And it's very fun to watch. So maybe try that. Sure.

So like just, and then the dog's trying to eat it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he gets a little bit. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's only fun if the dog gets a little bit. Yeah, it's fun for you fun for him because well he's never been in a cone before and it totally disrupts his ability to do dog things he can't you know we take we try to take him for a walk and he can't sniff the ground like he just

scrapes it on the ground which must be so loud like just an echo chamber you should pick up a little bit of dirt and put it in his face just so he can have a sniff. I imagine it's like when you're, you know, cooking or doing some chore wearing earbuds and the earbuds get caught on like a, you know, on the knob of the burner and just yank out of your ear. That's how I imagine smashing your cone into the wall. You should put a dog butt in front of his face to give him some simple life pleasure. I have been growing synthetic dog butt. Oh, that's so cool. That's legal now? Yeah, go to pogcity.com.

I also do that too. Grow dog butts? Yeah, Dave and I have a separate business. And how do you make money on this? Who do you sell these dog butts to? You know what? I message people on Tinder. Perverts.

Perverts and sick dogs. I message people on Tinder and tell them to send me $5 and see what happens. And then I send them a dog butt. It only cost $4, so I make them a dollar profit. A dollar profit. So, yeah, that's me. Yeah, but he's already the hair's growing back. The hair's growing back.

It's just a matter of healing. Yeah. But he's totally, he doesn't seem bothered by it. Just wants that cone off. It's very cute that his ears, which normally stick up, are kind of folded forward because of the cone now. Yeah, that is kind of a cute look. He looks cool. He looks like a pirate.

Yeah. Like a dog pirate. He'll look like a real tough guy. And then the dogs at the park won't mess with him anymore. I'll maybe post a picture to our blog because this is coming out in a couple weeks and he'll look a little better by then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He still looks rough. Yeah.

Rough. Come on. Come on, Natu. Yeah, we're all having fun. Yeah. Rough. Come on. Come on, Andrew. Yeah, we're all having fun. I liked it. I've been nursing this dog back to health. Yeah. Hand feeding him. Oh, really? Well, because he can't reach the dog bowl. And he can't just pour the kibble

into the cone. Although, a man has seen a video where you do it with popcorn. Apparently it's very fun. Well, we do give him treats and stuff, and sometimes he'll miss them. And they'll end up in the cone, and he's so dumb. Oh, he's so dumb! Yeah, oh yeah, I forgot that too. Does he keep forgetting?

I guess he keeps forgetting that he's wearing this cone. He forgets he's dumb. Oh, yeah. And he was so wily trying to get it off, like the the surgery. Yeah. That they had to tie it around. It's still tied around his like armpits. So he's dumb, but he's like street wise. Oh, yeah. No.

He's not book smart. No, he's like he would be a bad prisoner. He'd be there. He'd get thrown in the brig. Yeah. He's like an actual grandfather at this point. Yeah. Except for the no offspring.

Yeah, that he knows them. Yeah, gotta keep them separated. It's so stupid. Yeah. I can't believe I got admonished for rough. When were you admonished? I made a face? Yeah, you made a sound.

You went. Guys, guys, guys. We're all dumb idiots. Yeah, it's true. It's fine. In the end, we're all dumb idiots. Yeah, it's true. It's fine. In the end, we're all dumb idiots. Yeah. But yeah, I'm glad that he's on the road to recovery.

And he's such a nice guy. He is. But yeah, I wonder, huh. I wonder, like, how aware is he that he don't have an eye there? I wonder. I don't have an eye there? I wonder. I don't know. He was blind in it.

So maybe, yeah. But he could blink with it before. Yeah, that's true. He used to like to wink at you. He loved to do blinking things. Yeah. Send you Morse code. That's it, I think. Those are the big blinking activities.

Yeah, just send you Morse code, but only with dots. Now he can't really flirt with anyone. It's tough. Yeah. That'd be really tough. Well, now he can only flirt with people because he can only wink now. Yeah, that's true. Why do you think pirates had so many STDs?

Is that a thing? Is scurvy an STD? They're getting all that booty. Okay, here we go. Okay, here it is. Back on track. Hey, hey, hey. I think a good pirate way to, okay, this is complicated.

The pirate way. Okay, a pirate way to avoid scurvy but get STDs involves that grapefruit with the hole cut up. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yeah. But can you absorb vitamin C through your wiener? There's only one way to find out. Yeah, you soak your tampon in it.

I one time took a flintstone vitamin in my pee hole. They're so rectangular. I put it in by wilma's hair just her top knot there it's fine graham what's up with you uh this show has everything it does it has something for everybody uh this past weekend i went to a friend of mine's book launch who'd you go d zomp uh d yeah daniel zamparelli good book title uh what is it you're a terrible everything's awful and you're a terrible person so let me say that again everything is awful and you're a terrible person. And it was held at a donut shop. Oh. And so it's, you know, 7 p.m., right?

It's at a donut shop. I'm thinking. Is this a donut shop? I don't want to say the name of the donut shop. A local, not a national chain. Not a national chain. It's not a Tim Hortons. Oh, I've never heard of them.

I, you know, i thought going to donut place i probably won't you know i'll eat a little something but i'm really gonna go and eat maybe one maybe two donuts sure right and i get there i get there early enough no donuts no no donuts time to make the donuts guys this is a place that that's all they do. It's not like donuts are incidental. They have donuts, coffee, and then I guess they had beer for this book launch. How many donuts were there to begin with? Do they just stop having donuts at 7 p.m.?

Are you durned up? I guess. Because people don't normally at 7 p.m.? Are you durned up? I guess. Because people don't normally buy 7 p.m. donuts? Yeah, but they, I don't think this was a flash mob book launch. I think everybody knew that this was going to be at.

Did anyone get pregnant? My brother would have been there if it was a flash mob. But this, I feel like, and I could be wrong, but this feels like this is a thing I have run into in Vancouver before. Not just at donut places, but I've also been to a pizza slice place where they're like, we're out of pizza slices.

And I'm like, but you're still open for three more. Why? How can you be out of the thing that you are? You had one job. But I used to host a comedy show at a breakfast place. Oh, yeah. A nighttime show. And they served food and drink.

But whenever we did the show, the waitress would just disappear in the back. Yeah. Like, I'm unsure if this is something that happens in other cities. I know it happens here, but i don't know if it's like and it's one thing to go into a place and be like they have a bunch of things and they're like we're out of the breakfast burrito that's fine or we've run out of guacamole okay but if your whole thing is donuts or pizza slice we ran out of our name yeah like i can offer you a fountain Have you run into that? Have you ever gone into a place

And like for the one thing they have And they're like no we don't have it I only shop at Walmart So it's harder I do have a little bit of everything Also at the breakfast show was it just a bunch of manic pixie dream girls Being like I'm gonna eat breakfast at night That was your only crowd It was ruby sparks and summer yeah summer from 500 days of summer uh who's the

manic pixiest of all yeah zoe de chanel has played several manic oh um what's her face uh natalie portman in Garden State. Garden State. Yeah. What is the, like, what makes a, because I know the term, and I know that Zooey Deschanel is the poster girl for it, but I don't really know. She's adorable. She loves indie music. She loves indie music. What else does she do?

She's not like other girls. Does she wear vintage dresses? Sure she does. Sometimes she drinks beer. It's kooky. She wears glasses. I mean, you don't find pretty girls who wear glasses, but she pulls them off. Amanda, are you a manic pixie?

I'm a manic pixie dream girl. You like playing pogs when the other girls like playing makeup? Pussy. That's true. Pussy. What? Okay. Okay.

So while the other girls are out playing pussy, you're at home playing cocks. Other girls are just throwing slam jammers at their vaginas. And you've got actual cardboard. Yeah. Oh, boy. join us and you've got actual cardboard yeah oh boy a real glimpse into the past of amanda brooke parent so were you so disappointed was there any food was there any food on the block could you go yeah i had to go i ended up eating a donut at tim hortons. It was very real. Because you got your hopes up for a donut. Yeah, my stomach was set to donut. But you know,

so many people in the crowd. I'm going to write the name of the donut place that I'm thinking it was. Yes! 100%. That was the place. Were they like, we do not have any? I would have taken that. It would have been fun. it would have been nice i would have been

full off of that but so many people in the crowd i could just hear as i was walking through there's no fucking donuts well it would have been nice if there was a waitress or waiter but excuse me yeah yeah uh uh walking through with a tray of like donut pieces on toothpicks. Oh my God. So you don't have to, you know, choose like, oh, you know what? I don't think I'll have a little bit of this, you know, Earl Grey tea one. I'm feeling a little fancy.

I really like that idea. Thank you. I don't know why I've been doing that. Imagine the cops had shown up. Oof. That would have been a real nightmare if we busted. When did that, has that still a thing, cops eating donuts? That would have been a real nightmare if we busted. When did that, has that still a thing, cops eating donuts?

I don't know. Because it was a big thing in the 80s. Yeah. I think now they're just into the shooting everyone thing. That's like their whole stereotype now. Oh, yeah. It's not as friendly. It's not as fun. But donut has always been like i was chatting with uh past

guys katie ellen humphries about how donut has been consistent like things will come and go bagels croissants these these things will be hot for a while but donuts really have like since what like the 50s have always just like i'll go get a donut although man i haven't like eaten a donut for a long time except that i haven't enjoyed a donut ever no i think it's it's always like it's something people bring a dozen to the office or something and you're like i guess i should eat one but i'm never i never get what i need out of a donut what do you need it's not like i would rather have ice cream or, you know, whatever. Like if it's the morning, I'd rather have, you know, a fruity muffin or something.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Muffins. Muffins are the donut of the health world. They're so healthy. But don't people trick themselves into thinking that muffins are like a healthy. Oh, yeah. And now they have like so many crumb, like some of them have so many crumbly bits on top.

It's just basically a cookie. Just donut chunks on top. This is a question because I was at. Okay. Okay. I was at a Starbucks. Okay. And they have different.

It used to be just like banana bread and maybe like a lemon loaf and now there's it's just cake yeah but they're they still call it loaf is that to trick people yeah i think so into like this is i'm this is fine to eat at 9 a.m abby will get our two-year-old a cake pop there. That's. It's a little cake on it. With frosting around it. Yeah. And I'm, I don't approve of this, but I'm not parenting at those times. Yeah. So you're the non-cake pop.

I'm the non-cake pop option. Yeah. So I don't think I've ever eaten a cake pop. Good? Bad? Have you had one? I haven't had one. I haven't either. Oh, you know what? I have had one at like a fancy restaurant.

Abby and I once went to this. Someone recommended it's the restaurant in the Four Seasons. Oh, yeah. It rotates. And someone was like, oh, you should go for coffee sometime and just, you know,

have some of their nice little snacks. And they have like cake pops and they have these sort of mango shooters that aren't alcoholic. They're just like this essence of mango. And we went there once and it was really good. And then we went back again a year later and we forgot that this was just like snacks with coffee. We thought it was breakfast. Oh, no. So we were like, why are we ordering cake pops for breakfast?

Was it good? It was fine, but it was fine. It was fine. Having dessert for breakfast, why not? Right? But I think if you call it. That's what makes me a manic pixie dream boy. I want a bowl of ice cream with breakfast.

Should we move on to a bit of business? Yes. Life can be fun. And some things can be carried away. You got to do the things you don't want to do. And just get through the day. You got to shine shoes. You got to melt your floors.

You know what? Take care of business zip recruiter yeah oh that was really good I was thinking remember you sang the song everybody knows you're a poop computer everybody knows you're a zip recruiter well

hey guys are you listening still yeah have you given up on us don't give up on us Everybody knows you're a zip recruiter. Well. Hey, guys. Are you listening still? Yeah. Have you given up on us? Don't give up on us. Don't give up. Yeah, don't give up on this. Guys.

Yeah. Zip recruiter. It's all about hiring people for your business. Yeah. Now, the old way of operating, you used to go, you would put an ad out there and then a criminal would come and they would get into your company and they would steal your files. And the old, old way was a guy with a bell would go into the center of town and he would say, jobs for sale. Yeah. He would go into the center of the town and say, we are looking for coders.

Yeah. We are looking for coders. But if you're somebody that has a business that's big or a business that's small, well, you know what? No medium. Oh, damn it. You can go to ZipRecruiter. You can put the ad on one site and then it goes out to all the necessary kind of sites. It goes to 100 plus job sites, including social media networks like Facebook and Twitter, all with a single click. They don't let most people on Facebook. No, no, no, that's true.

It's become very exclusive. You've got to know ZipRecruiter. Find candidates in any city or industry nationwide. And, you know, then you're not like fielding a bunch of emails or calls. It's all through one aggregate that's taking care of the business for your business. And that's your business. We don't want to know about it. But right now, my listeners, not our listeners.

No, just yours. If you're listening to Graham, tune out right now. My listeners can post jobs on ZipRecruiter for free by going to ZipRecruiter.com slash happy. And now my listeners, if you're listening on just the left earphone or earbud, you can go to ZipRecruiter.com slash happy. One more time to try it for free. Go to ZipRecruiter.com slash happy. I'm Jesse. I'm Jesse. I'm Jordan.

And we've been doing Jordan, Jesse Go for almost 10 years now. And it's not gotten any easier to describe. So we asked our fans to do it for us. Jordan, Jesse Go is a weekly conversation with two best pals. Two hilarious friends. The hilarious smart kids. Talking about hilarious stuff that happens to them. Mostly really stupid stuff.

Awkward anecdotes. Insane tangents. Heartfelt stuff. It's like being thrown in the middle of a hilarious conversation between you and your best pal. It's a show that makes me laugh every week, which is pretty rare and wonderful. Might be the best thing on the internet. One of the funniest things you will hear. might be the best thing on the internet.

One of the funniest things you will hear. And it's the best part of my week and has kept me company for the past seven years through all sorts of life. I love those guys. That's Jordan Jesse Go, the comedy podcast that's been named Best of iTunes. Every Monday on MaximumFun.org or your favorite podcasting software.

I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. I'm Brian. And I'm Erin. And we host Throwing Shade, I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. MaxFunPodcast to be turned into a TV show. So check that out. January 17th on TV Land. Throwing shade. Politics. Pop culture.

Wigs for days. Overheard. Overheard's a segment on the show that you know all about. We hear things out there. We share them here. Then we call it a day. Amanda. Yeah.

You say you have one. I do. It's from, like, I think it was two years ago, but I heard it and I was like, oh, I gotta tell Graham and Dave about this. It was on the TTC, the streetcar in Toronto. Love it. It was a mother-daughter combo. And the little girl pulled on her mom's sweater and she goes, Mom, when we get home, can I have a 10-minute shower? But then her mom went, I told you to ask your father.

How old is this girl? She was like seven, maybe. Ten minute shower. That is the height of luxury. Yeah. Wow. I probably take longer showers than that every day. Just because the mind wanders. But like, if you grew up in a household where it was like everybody has to take five minute showers, then a 10 would be like on birthdays and Christmas.

Like, oh, wow. And seven, what age did you switch from baths to showers? I think I went for a shower as fast as I could. Because I don't luxuriate in the wash. I just get it done, and then I want to go on with my day. Oh, and you had two younger brothers, so you can't fit three kids in the bath at a certain point. You can try. I mean, we tried at my brother's bachelor party.

You know what? It couldn't do it. It was a weird choice. Yeah, we tried to recreate a photo from when we were kids. Oh, that's fun. I think I hung on to baths for as long as I could, and now I hate baths. Really? Yeah, with a fiery passion.

Because some people, that's their whole, like, it's not just a washing thing. It's an activity. Oh, sure. Yeah, you light some candles, put your iPad in a Ziploc bag. Yeah, yeah. Take pictures of your toes next to the faucet. Put them on social media for some reason. Yeah.

No, I'll take a bath. I have to be sick, I think, to take a bath. And not bodily. It has to be a cold. I have to be violently puking. Yeah. Oh, is the water getting browner? That's a bath bomb I wasn't expecting.

Dave, over here. Mine is, guys, oh, you guys. I went to a hockey game last night. At the beginning of this hockey season, a guy from the Canucks very kindly was like Hey, I can set you up with some tickets Yeah And, you know, no charge, baby Yeah, yeah, he had them in an overcoat

He was like, what tickets do you like? And it was very wonderful I was very happy to go to all the games And, you know, they got their money back on all the snacks I ate yesterday. I had a sweet pretzel. Oh, like a cinnamon? It's like, it's, it's, I don't know exactly what was on it. It was a pretzel that they, they have a sweet pretzel on the menu and the woman takes it off the pretzel wagon and puts it.

She turns her back to you, puts on some gloves. And then like there's bottles she's using. She's dredging it in sugar. There's like a coconut is the big finishing move. But anyway, yesterday was as rainy a day as we've had. Oh, man. I'm so glad we canceled our Palm Springs trip. Yeah.

So I could be in this beautiful city where it has. We haven't had a day since December where there wasn't either snow on the ground or a rainstorm. Yeah, but this rain yesterday was this real, that fat rain. That like if one drop hits you in the face, it's like getting hit with a snowball. Yeah, but this rain yesterday was this real, that fat rain that like if one drop hits you in the face, it's like getting hit with a snowball. Yeah, yeah. It's like if depression had a weather system.

Well, how do you guys live here? Sorry, I keep interrupting. Well, mostly indoors. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That endo. They're mole people. Yeah. So I went, I'm surprised this hasn't happened before this hockey season. In the 10 games I went to. I went to, you know, I drove downtown, parked my car, got out, walked a couple blocks to the arena, noticed I forgot my tickets.

Oh, no. So after walking in the rain and driving in the rain, I called or texted my friend who I was my tickets. Oh, no. So after walking in the rain and driving in the rain, I called or texted my friend who I was meeting there. I have to go home and get the tickets. So I went, got back in the car, drove home, drove back downtown, paid to park in a second spot. Oh, no. And then I, but as I was walking from that parking spot to the arena, I overheard these two women, I'd guess in their 20s, early 30s maybe.

And one of them would just said to the other one, if you ever see one of them, could you please buy me an old lady hat? Like one of those see-through plastic ones. I guess it's a, since it was raining, it's like that sort of, it's sort of like a, It's a hood. It's like a,

yeah. A bonnet. A bonnet. It's like a shower curtain babushka. Yeah. My granny used to wear one. It's not, I guess it's for a set,

if you have a set. Oh, sure. For curlers. Yeah. Yeah. Or a blow, if you got a big hairdo. Oh, sure. For curlers. Yeah. Yeah, or if you've got a big blowout. Yeah, you just had a blowout, it starts raining. What are you going to do, right? Who knows?

Get a bonnet. But also, she's telling her friend, her friend must go to, I don't know where her friend is going, the dollar store? Yeah, dollar store. Chinatown. Old Lady Express. Oh, sure. Old.F. Crumpets California Crumpet Kitchen yeah

my overheard comes courtesy of a real oh boy it was I'm not sure what the like who was with who but it was two women and a guy. And at one point, the guy was sitting down and the girl was sitting in his lap. And then they got up because somebody, they were drunk too, but somebody got on that was walking with a cane. And so they got up out of the, uh for disabled people's seat and then sat

next to me did they sit in one chair next to you yes okay and uh and like the guy pressed up really close against me and like gave me a look like you know how it is when a lady wants to sit in your lap i was like i don't and you're drunk yeah and so then she started yelling at him at some point. Maybe he told her to get off his lap. I can't remember. But she was yelling at him. And this is, she screamed at him. You know, you can't eat my pussy and then walk away from my pussy.

She has a point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. She did have a point. I was shocked. It was. And you know what? It wasn't that late. This is about 8pm, I want to say. 8pm, 8.30. So they would

have had to start drinking around a 6. Which time did he do the deed? I don't know. He hasn't walked away from it. No, no, no. She's letting it sit on him. It might have been at like another train station.

Like an earlier part of the ride. My God, just stick to pogs, everyone. Yeah. Eat my pogs. Eat my pogsies. What? Eat my pogseed? Is that what you said?

No, she said pogsy. Eat my pogsy. Okay, because I was like, what is a pogseed? I don't think that exists yet, but might update the website. Don't piss in the cup you were born for? That was what I said last time. Okay, and this time it's don't eat my Pogsy. Yeah, don't eat my Pogsy. Yeah, when I was a kid, Pogsy was the creepy guy at the end of the street

where all the kids talked. Oh, sure. I loved Warren Beat kid, Pogsy was the creepy guy at the end of the street and all the kids talked. Oh, sure. I loved Warren Beatty and Pogsy. Now, we also have overheard sent in to us from people around the globe. Miss Fitzhenry? Pogsy. Pogsy Brown. Damn it.

If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. I overheard my coworkers. This is from Benji C. I overheard my coworkers talking by the embroidery machine. What? Where do you work, Benji? Yeah, skimping on details. And one girl said to the other, I don't care if I have a boy or a girl because they're both going to have the same middle name.

Blaze. Pretty good. Yeah. Oh, wow. What was your middle name, Amanda Brooke Barrett? Tiffany. Is it really? No.

Okay. Well, I thought maybe it was Amanda Brooke Tiffany Barrett. No, Brooke is actually my middle name. Yeah, well, that's what I assumed. Yeah. Amanda Brooke Tiffany Perrin. And your nickname? Tiffany.

Randy. Yeah, Randy. Randy. Randy River. Randy River. And that was the name of your album. Yeah. You can get it on iTunes.

You can get it on iTunes. There you go. There's a nice plug for it. AKA Randy. Now, this next one. This one comes. There's a nice plug for it. A.K.A. Randy. Now this next one. This one comes from Lachlan from Melbourne, Australia. G'day. G'day.

See you on Tinder. See you on Tinder. I've got an overheard for yas. That's like how... Oh, sure. I was sitting in a cafe the other day and these two girls came in and sat behind me. You could tell they were pretty excited to be going to a cafe by themselves. One would have been 12 years old, and I would say the other one maybe eight.

They started looking through the menu. The older one said, ooh, salmon sandwich. Oh, I can't. And the other girl said, why? Why can't you? I mean, it's a bit of a tongue twister for one thing. Yeah, salmon sandwich? Yeah.

Slippery salmon sandwich. Salmon sandwich. The same old salmon sandwich is my Samson from. The same salmon sandwich sang a song of sixpence. None the richer. Kiss me, it will bring your father's map. Ooh. And this last

one comes from Evan M. Just heard this from the guy sitting behind me on the bus. Him. I was making a joke. Never mind. Then a long pause, then him saying, you said what's up, and then I was just describing what's above me. I'm on a bus, so I was describing the ceiling. long pause. Then him saying, you said what's up? And then I was just describing what's above me.

I'm on a bus, so I was describing the ceiling. Long pause. Oh, my God. Never mind. Oh, boy. Anyone who replies literally to what's up. Yeah. They need a thrashing.

But it's like, that's an in-person dumb joke. Oh, yeah. You can't be like, what's up? Because then the person has to visualize. Unless you're in a really cool museum. Yeah. Beautiful angels. Oh, yeah.

And something about God. Have you gone to any cool museums in LA? No. The Gaudi? Not yet, but there's a breakup museum that I really want to go to. A breakup museum? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Tell me. Well, it was on The Bachelor. There was an episode where they went, and they just have little tokens of, I think, famous breakups in history. And then they slipped in an engagement ring from one season of The Bachelor. Like, oh my God, is that from the season you were on?

And he's like, yeah, yes, it was. But they broke up? Yeah, because he proposed to her, but she went with the other guy what else would would be in there the text that britney sent to kevin federline on much music you remember no she broke up with him while he was filming i can't remember the name of the show but he was they followed him for a whole day and then he got a text at one point and then over the course of the day he kept getting these texts and was visibly more agitating told the producer that britney's and ended their marriage by a text was it called walking the fetter line

yeah yeah that was it or fetter say fetter wait a minute sorry i was better say better never say never yeah no i know what you were going for and i appreciate it can't get better than this there we are um anyways what else would be in the breakup museum famous breakup oh sure um trista and ryan from the bachelor oh wait they're the couple that's still together. Ah, nice. I guess that you could have that as an example of how it works out. Yeah. No, yeah.

Do you remember when J-Lo married her dancer? Yeah. I looked it up recently because I was like, oh, remember when J-Lo dated her dancer? No, she married him. Oh really? Yeah. Chris Judd. Chris Judd.

Is that, was that after Mark Anthony? No, before Mark Anthony, after Ben, after Puffy. Ooh, a copy of Geely. That could, that could be a breakup museum. Ooh, a copy of Mr. And Mrs. Smith. Ooh. Right. That one would be right at the end. Yeah. Oh, a copy of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Ooh.

Right? That one would be right at the end. Yeah. Please exit through the gift shop. Oh, yeah. You could buy a bunch of it. You could get a bunch of Banksy work and also that movie. Yeah.

In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, I've got the number memorized. So it's going to be the words that I say. How do you not know? How do you shut up? That's a fair point. 1-844-779-7631. That is one. SpyPod one.

Like these people. Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Chris calling from Brooklyn. I had my niece in town recently. She's a teenager, like 16. So I took her to the Brooklyn Flea, which is this cool flea market in Brooklyn. My pixie dream niece. And we were looking at this stand that sells vintage sweatshirts.

They were, you know, just normal sweatshirts. It was two young people running the stand, a guy and a girl. And the guy was talking to the girl, and he said, yeah, so, you know, she overdosed when she was with us. And we had to, like, hide the body or whatever. Jesus. And that was all I heard. Yeah, well, I mean. Oh, my God. Jesus. Yeah, well, I mean. Oh, my God.

Don't hide the body. Yeah. Don't hide it under a bushel. Call the cops, man. Don't call into a podcast. You missed the one main step. But, I mean, she overdosed. Yeah, that's true. It's not like they killed her. Yeah. But, I mean, she overdosed. Yeah, that's true. It's not like they killed her.

Yeah. We definitely have had people who called in things that were, like, mid-crime. Yay, yay, yay. The things that people will say to each other to try and, you know, impress them. Like, I know where a body is. I mean, a flea market is a daunting place. You're, you know, you're like, I don't, I actually don't know that much

about vintage cups. Yeah, yeah. So I'm going to have to flex my knowledge on ODs. I, yeah, I don't know. I feel like, yeah, if you know where a body is, keep that information to yourself. That's my, if you come away with anything from this podcast. If someone sees my body somewhere, please don't keep it to yourself.

I'm just putting that in. Okay, well, she doesn't speak for all of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just me. Now, can we get a take of you saying? Oh, yeah. Hoverboards. Here's your next phone call.

Hey, Dave Graham, Impossible Guest. This is David calling from Philadelphia. Hi. I haven't overheard of the Kids Say the Darnedest variety with minor Kong Skull Island spoilers. So I was watching the movie Kong Skull Island in the theaters, and there is a part in the movie, I won't get into too much detail, where King Kong is fighting a thing. I'm trying to keep it as big as possible. And it's a loud, violent fight and lots of noise.

And then at one point, the fight turns and there's a quiet section. And a little kid from the front of the theater yells, The monkey wins! Winner, winner, monkey dinner. Oh, there's nothing funnier than eating a monkey. What? That was solid from beginning to end. Yeah, but what is he worried about? Spoilers.

Oh, because Kong was fighting alcoholism. He was fighting a thing and he won. I mean, the spoiler is that he won. Yeah. Juvenile. He's fighting a dinosaur. Yeah. That's the only thing.

No, no. I mean, lupus. Oh, yeah. He could be fighting lupus. He could be fighting, you know, just against the corporate culture. Sure. Oh, yeah. He's fighting inertia.

Fighting. Fighting off a nasty cold. Yeah. Yeah. But I like the guy who's like, this has spoilers from Kong Skull Island. So I was watching Kong Skull Island. Yeah. I was watching Kong Skull Island.

Yeah. This will have been out long enough that anyone who wanted to see Kong Skull Island for the plot. Yeah. Yeah. Has seen it. Also, is it out? I guess it's out. Like this was in a show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't Jack Black in it? Yeah, he returns. He was in the first one. Oh, okay. The first one? Well, you know what I mean. They make one every 10 years.

I guess they do, hey? Yeah. It's really, it's, I don't know why. I mean, I guess. It's a tale as to old as time. It really is Beauty and the Beast, isn't it? It is. It really is. Yeah.

Who was the last beauty? Naomi Watts? Yeah, maybe't it? It is. It really is. Yeah. Who was the last beauty? Naomi Watts? Yeah, maybe there's a new beauty. Brie Larson's in the new one, but I don't think they make it off Skull Island. Like he doesn't bring a beauty up the monkey river. A monkey river? Empire monkey building. Guys, it's time for your last overheard.

And this one comes straight to us from a phone. Here we go. Hey, what's up, guys? Dave and Graham and possible guest. My name is Joe, and I'm calling from Orlando, Florida. I am calling with an overheard. Sorry if I'm talking like a robot, but it's kind of a drunk dial. And also, I love you guys so much.

All right, so here we go. Let me get my stuff together. Here we go. Drunk dial slash overheard. Come on with it. Oh, shoot. This is not even an overheard because it's mostly a GB overseen, which probably falls in the category of... Ah.

Falls in the category... Ah, shit. Guys, I love you. Guys... Alright, bye. No, no, I'm not doing it. I will not hang up. I will not. Okay, here we go.

Back together. Overheard, drunk dial. Go. Traffic. There was a full stop. Okay, this is what I called about. There it is. Okay, I found it.

I was sitting at a light. My buddy's driving right now. And there was a red light. Four lanes of traffic heading in the same direction. And all of them stopped. This is not... It seemed way better when it happened. Gosh. All right, well, you know what?

It's out there. You guys have a great show goodnight thanks Joe goodnight it's out there I loved every portion of it yeah and it was really like

you want to talk about somebody battling somebody Joe versus himself yeah the monkey wins oh bless his heart oh boy it was really about somebody battling somebody. Joe versus himself. Yeah, the monkey wins. Oh, bless his heart. Oh, boy. It was really... You don't think it was Mighty Joe Young, do you? Was that...

Is that a spin on Kong? No, it's a spin on Mighty Joe Young. Billy Joe Armstrong? Anywho. But I was really sad for him and it was an emotional journey because I was like, he's going to do it

and then just win it. No, I think there he's going to do it. And then just went. No, I think there's a lesson here. Like, if you think you're going to fail, you're probably going to fail. Even if you convince yourself you're not, you're definitely like you were wrong. If you're like, I'm too big to fail. Uh-huh. Probably that's not true. Amanda.

Brooke. Paris. Yeah. Goodbye. Brooke. Paris. Yeah. Goodbye. Okay, bye. This episode comes out on Easter Monday. What do you got?

What do you got cooking? What's coming up? Chocolate, eggs, decorative doilies. That little, that grass. That grass. That you put everywhere

that your dog sometimes eats and then has to poop on. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what's happening because I'm sort of all over the place right now. But I do update my website like a young adult professional. And that's at pogblasters.com? It's at pogblasters.slammajamma. Pokemon Go.

Yeah. Andbrookparren.com. Yeah. And I guess just Twitter, atbrookparren. At brookparren.com. And I guess just Twitter. At brookparren. At brookparren. You're a funny tweeter. Thank you.

Are you related to Lee and Parren's steak sauce? Yes. Is that your great uncle or? Great aunt. Oh. What? Oh, that's showing my bias there. It does. I guess women can make

brown socks it's Leah Perrin Leah Perrin one of the tallest actresses in the world yeah Leah well thank you very much for being here

thanks for having me yeah thanks anyway now here's a thing I haven't mentioned but I think since the Max Fun Drive, I will have started releasing the, some of, I guess all of the live episodes we had banked. Oh yeah.

I didn't want to put them in, uh, at the time because I didn't want our max fun drive message to get lost. Makes sense. Hey. So that was, that's from. That'll be Chicago. I released the, um, what was the one we did before Chicago? Oh, I released the Victoria one a few couple months ago now, maybe. So look in your feed.

There should be the Chicago one. Saskatoon? No, Saskatoon one didn't work out. So sorry about that. The Vancouver one with John Doerr. Oh, with John Doerr. And the Banff one. Yeah.

That was fun. That was a fun weekend. Did you get Jäger shots? No, we haven't done Jäger shots since that one time you were on our live show. Calgary, come on back now, you hear? Yeah, so sugary. Now, also, speaking of live shows. Jaeger, not Jaeger.

What is Jaeger? I think Jaeger. Chuck Jaeger. Sorry. Sorry. In LA, do you go to a dialect coach? No, but I actually have started saying sorry. Really?

Just to prove that I'm not Canadian. Speaking of live shows. You know what would prove it more? Never apologize. Oh, yeah. You're right. You're right. We're doing a live show in Toronto.

Do we think tickets are on sale? Yeah, by now. Surely they must be. July 8th at the Harbor Front Theater. Theater Center of the Harbor. Yeah. Down by the harbor. Cool. That's a cool venue. Theater Tug Center of the Harbor. Yeah. Down by the harbor. Cool.

That's a cool venue. Theater Tugboat will be there. Who's that? Is he related to Thomas the Tank? Yeah, he's like a derivative of, I think. Popeye will be there. Where are the other famous harbor folks? Drake will be there.

Yeah, Drake's going to be there. Yeah, he's always on the harbor in his Breton sweater. We'll be there. Yeah, Drake's going to be there. Yeah, he's always on the harbor in his Breton sweater. Well, we're plugging things. May 13th, I'm doing a show called Quiz Show. I didn't mention the quiz show from last month because all the dates got, we got all swishy around. But yeah, that should be a fun show.

Can I be on it? Yeah, yeah. Dave will be on it. He will be one of the guests. The May 13 one? Yeah. You know what? We'll check.

Okay. And if you like the show, head over to MaximumFun.org. Where's Quiz Show? It's going to be at the Fox Theater. The Fox Theater in Vancouver. Tickets in advance? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Tickets in advance? Yeah. Ah.

Yeah. There will be a Facebook page. Oh, you know what? I don't want to be on it then. I'll put it on pogs.com. Yeah, yeah. Go over to pogs.com. Check out our blog, Pog Recap.

Oh, yeah. Pictures and videos relating to the content. Yeah, sure. What are some of the things we talked about? Pogs. Pogs. The tall ladies. Yeah, sure. What are some of the things we talked about? Pogs. Pogs. The tall ladies. Yeah, sure.

That tall, well, Gabrielle Reese, I guess. Garbage Bail Kids. Manic Pixie Dream Girls. Sure. Boy, that's a solid list right there. And then Mighty Joe Young. Ta-da. Uh-huh.

And thank you so much for listening. Thank you for being our guest. Thank you. If you like the show, please tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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