Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 475 - Evany Rosen

Episode Date: April 24, 2017

Comedian and author Evany Rosen returns to talk book writing, chicken nuggets, and the It trailer.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody, welcome to episode number 475 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and with me as always is a man who, uh, boy oh boy, he told me he doesn't have anything for the get to know us, but I think he's going to prove us, uh, otherwise.

Wow. Wow. Mr. Dave Shumka. Oh, hey, how did this bus end up on top of me? I threw it on top of you. Oh, no. Hulk smash you. Hulk smash me.

We're all, everybody. Hello. Hello. Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast. Third timer? Third time? My third time. This one's the charm.

I'm hoping so. Yeah, this one. The last two. Yikes. Disasters. Hilarious. Stand-up comedian. Hilarious. third time my third time this one's the charm i'm hoping yeah this one the last two yikes disasters uh hilarious stand-up comedian hilarious improv comedian sketch comedian and now adding to a resume author miss evany rosen hello hello hello hello um female comedian authoress yeah let's get a gender correct. You know what I mean? For me, put baby in that corner.

Well, comedian used to be. Sure. That used to be a thing. That used to be a thing. And I don't know why. It was always a very specific type. I feel like Carol Channing was a comedian. It was always those types.

You know? Yeah, Carol Channing. Was she a comedian? Or was she a Broadway performer? I may be confusing Carol Channing with another. Carol Burnett? Yeah. Carol Channing. Was she a comedian? Or was she a Broadway performer? I may be confusing Carol Channing with another. Carol Burnett? Yeah. Sure.

I don't know. They're both comedians. I don't care. Their time has passed. Yeah. When did that go out? The 90s? Comedienne?

Yeah. I think you will still see it on many job postings. Yeah. On many job postings. For waitress, stewardess, comedian. I certainly see it in headings and emails from my dad about something he thinks I would find interesting. Yeah, Paula Poundstone's coming to town. This comedian recently got a write-up.

Do we want to get to know us? Oh, yeah. get to know us? Oh, yeah. Get to know us. So you've written a book, which is huge. It was, it was, it turns out writing them is hard. Yeah. Reading them is hard. Yeah, reading them is hard.

I barely like to read them. I don't know why I agreed to this. Yeah. So tell us about, tell us what is it. Is it like a scary book? Yeah, it's a scary, it's sort of a gothic horror. Comedienne and the Moors. Sure.

Comedienne Rice. Yeah, Comedienne Rice is sort of the genre I would call it. Is she a vampire? Is that your call it. Is she a vampire? Is that your Anne Rice? Is she a vampire? Yeah, that's my Anne Rice impression. That was good.

Oh, who loves blood? Who loves blood? That's Anne Rice's joke book for kids. Yeah. Who loves blood? Dracula. Good one.

It's a short book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's not funny. What is her... What's her... She doesn't do things about Dracula. She has her own characters. Richelmont and Hergaloo.

Bergamot. Yeah. Gary Vampire. Lestat. Lestat. Oh, it's Lestat? Yeah. That's her?

What the vampire surgeons say. I need 10 cc's of blood. Lestat. Lestat. Oh, her's just Lestat? Yeah. That's her? What the vampire surgeons say. I need 10 cc's of blood. Lestat. Thank you. So your book is not about vampires? It's not? I thought it was. I mean, I wrote that book and I found out it was taken, so I had to start again.

Chat with a Dracula. Chat with Lestat. Oh, very good. Has anyone read any of these Anne Rice books? I saw the movie. I think I read part of it. His interview with the vampire was her big one. Yeah.

I think I read part of that because I had a girlfriend in high school that was a god. What a brag. Well, if you got it, flaunt it. Did she have a goth name or did you just use her own name? Yeah. No, she's just her own name. I was trying to think of a goth name and I thought Ravenclaw,

which is pretty good. It's a Harry Potter, isn't it? Yeah. I have a friend, and I won't out her on the podcast, but she used to have a goth boyfriend in high school, and his name was Crimson Vampire. My favorite fact about her. Well, I...

Oh, no, I want you to out this person. I didn't have a friend in high school, period. But there was a girl in high school who was, I guess you would, maybe a goth, but maybe like sort of red velvet, a little more

red velvet. Like, like, like the cupcake? Maybe she dressed like old King Cole. She was always baking birds

into a pie? Just like, not quite black clothes, but like very dark gemstone colors. Oh yeah. Oh, velvet with a lace out the sleeve kind of thing. That, I like very dark gemstone color. Oh, yeah.

Oh, a velvet with a lace out the sleeve kind of thing. I think that's all God. She's a little Renaissance-y. Renaissance God. But she did one time have like the most, I don't know if it's a real thing. She had realistic, like actual fangs. Yeah. I know somebody that had a dental.

Dam? No. Yeah. I know somebody that had a dental dam. No. Yeah, had them scraped down or shaped to be pointier. Shaved into fangs? But hers were long.

Like, did she have these added? Yeah, well, I don't know. Or they just such a great dental plan. committing to that choice,

like far more than a tattoo of just being like, I don't think I'm going to always want to have fangs. I don't think I'm going to rethink this at any point. Yeah, but they don't than a tattoo. Of just being like, I don't think I'm going to always want to have fangs. I don't think I'm going to rethink this at any point. Yeah, but they don't get a tattoo. They're like, I don't know. What's more permanent and right in my face?

So, your book, Fangs for the Memory. Yes. Your stat puns are off the charts. Fangs. So, what is it? Who cares? Come on. It's a book of humor essays about history.

Okay. And it called? It called what I think happened, an under-researched history of the Western world. Because basically, I didn't want to write a book about myself because that would have been boring. Do you think? I think it would have been a lot of cute essays being like, oh, I gave a blowjob at summer camp. Whoops. Isn't there like a huge market for that?

Isn't there that? There is that. That's why I felt like no one needed me to do it you could call it the boss bitch something like that how to be the boss of your own that's a thing is that a book that's a thing boss bitch or but anything boss or the yeah the skanky boss yeah the skanky little dirty bitch boss was going to be the original title. It's time to boss up and skank around. You bitches ready to boss? Reggae boss. I'm the reggae boss.

And things are going to get very fangs. What? Reggae doesn't fang. Uh-oh, I'm sneakily a vampire. I would love to do an experiment where you just give three different people the book title i'm a reggae boss and just see what book they write oh yeah i mean mine would be about how i'm unqualified to be the boss of reggae i'm in over my head

um so you did did you actually under research this or did you research it? Yeah. Well, part of the true joke of the book is that I technically have a combined honors degree in early modern philosophy and history that I just barely slithered out. Real oof. Gentleman's B- at best. So I was like, oh oh I'll try again surely I've learned how to do this yeah for the last 10 years

of not doing that so it's just it starts confident and then it's just it's basically a book brought to you by Wikipedia

oh nice the most reliable source on the web I love Wikipedia we all donated three dollars a day I just

a day no I just, a day? No, that's not right. That can't be right. I print out Wikipedia. I love it so much. And then do you bind it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then every day I go back and check if it's been updated and it has and I gotta. Do you circle the links

you wish you'd click on when you printed it and then go back and. No, I click on all the links and print them. Oh, that's endless. Yeah.

Well, thank you. You may have noticed it up on its shelves. It's a giant bound books. Very ungainly. So what is the page count of your book? Yeah. I don't know yet because it's only a word count. So I don't know what the page count will be.

Oh, do they? Is that how they do books? They say this many words? Yeah, because a page in word is not the same as a page in a book. True. Right. Plus you got to add pictures. Oh, yeah.

Are there pictures? There are no pictures. And I'm sorry. I know I lost Dave as a reader already. I like in the middle of a book where it's glossy photos, you know, like in a memoir. Yeah, aren't us going to put glossy photos of old SNL cast members in the middle of a book? That's not a bad idea. There were some crazy times with Gilda and Dan.

What period of time does this cover in the Western world? It's a real smattering. In one part, I try to explain all of the history of the British monarchy, but I did start too early. So it just starts at the Bronze Age, and then it's too far back. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of mistakes. This is a good testing ground to see what it'll be like when I have to promote the book. Because so far, my answers are bad.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. For sure. It's not good. It's just a Wikipedia book that I started wrong. This is a good dry run. Yeah, it's a good dry run. Well, I feel like I felt bad at the beginning.

I was like, oh, no, we were just kind of goofing around about vampires. Yeah, yeah. Put her off topic, but she doesn't know the topic. I don't know. So the vampires, I can, I'm going to do some rewrites. Yeah.

They're cool, right? People love that shit. Um, because in the last summer you were, you were kind of starting to think about writing this book. Yes. And so we were talking,

I remember the only thing I remember talking about was that Taft was the fattest president. Taft was the fattest president and he's in there and that's what his section is about. He's also the last president

with a mustache. Really? That's true. Huh. And like, he, like, I thought... Except for when Dan Aykroyd

played Jimmy Carter. Does that count as him being... That counted, yeah. Okay. Yeah, That counts. What about, you know... And Cesar Romero was the last Joker with a mustache.

I think that Jared Leto tried to grow a mustache for his version. He actually tried to write damaged on his upper lip. Do you think that Jared Leto is anybody's favorite version of the Joker

do you think Jared Leto is anybody's favorite person no no maybe his mom oh

Mrs. Leto she's over him she was like keeps sending me bugs in the mail I hate him your mom

I found he's like a cat yeah here's a crow I found he's like a cat yeah here's a crow I found on the ground um so

but the book's done and you're you're happy with it sure it's no about this blowjob you gave it summer camp

yeah yeah yeah I knew I should have written about that I thought it would turn me into a vampire it didn't it just messed with my self esteem for a while I thought I'd turn me into a vampire. It didn't. It just messed with my self-esteem for a while.

That would be a camp boss. I didn't do anything at summer camp. No, me neither. I looked at cute girls, but... But you didn't have friends at that time, as we've already established. No, I had friends before high school. Then what happened? All dead.

Oh, no. What, the plague? In a? All dead. Oh, no. What, the plague? In a dork fire. Oh, no. Those used to be very common. But now they have those special alarms. They perished. How do the alarms sound?

It's a dork alarm. A lot of mouth breathing. It's just a full jerky boys track. That's the alarm. Oh, man. The internet really put the... I don't know if the Jerky Boys were still churning out pranks, but... You think the internet put them out of business?

Yeah, yeah. I think maybe... Do you just think time? Call display. Yeah, I guess. And landlines disappearing. That was their bread and butter, right? Yeah.

Calling a business? I don't think I've ever listened to a Jerky Boys. I think business is still, I don't mean either. I haven't seen a Jerky Boys movie. I never listened to any of their calls. They made a movie? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It had a collective soul on the soundtrack. Did you listen to Jerky Boys? I don't think I ever did. Like, I'm aware of them. It's just a thing that I was like, I don't need this. Yeah, it seemed too mean and aggressive. Yeah, I never kind of... For our genteel sensibilities.

Yeah, we're a couple of nice boys. Prank phone calls. Did you ever make them? Probably. I don't remember. I was too scared. It was scary. Yeah, I was too scared that, I don't know what I was scared of.

This was pre-call display. Yeah. And I definitely had some great voices that I was working on. If you could go back in time and have the confidence to make one of those crank calls, would you do that or would you kill Hitler? Yeah. You can only do one or the other. But the year I'm going back to is when Hitler's

a baby. No, no, no. You can either go back to 1978 or 1901. Wait, can I kill somebody kind of evil in 1978 when I'm there? No, you can just make a crank call to that person to the evil person yeah oh yeah you go back to 1978 and kill jared leto as a baby oh boy that is it oh boy that is a toughie see now you because i i was first i was like you

gotta go back and you gotta kill hitler but then then I was like, oh, Jared Leto, though. You know what? He's fine. He's fine. He played Prefontaine. He was one of the top people who played Prefontaine. He gained a lot of weight to play somebody. Oh, yeah.

Was it Mark David Chapman? Yeah. And... I don't know Leto facts on the record. Yeah, you done with MDC? Or was it John Hinckley Jr.? Which one was. Who is the fattest assassin?

We know who the fattest president was. Who is our fattest prime minister? Do you know that? Oh, I don't know. Hmm. My guess is probably. I think Laurier was the skinniest Prime Minister

Who? Laurier It's just Lorde, she's a singer The E is silent Prime Minister Laurier Laurier was He was skinny? He was a skinny meringue Let me just get out my

$50 bills Maybe William Lyon McKenzie King Yeah Let me just get out my $50 bills. Yeah, yeah. Maybe William Lyon McKenzie King? Yeah. Who's that name? I mean, it's a chunky name. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, Borden. I think he was kind of a jowly. Sure. Joe Clark? Pearson might have been a portly man. Oh, it's hard to tell because we have all those people who were prime minister for two months. Yeah. Like I think Joe Clark, he's always kind of roly poly.

Yeah. I mean, I guess thanks to Canada Fitness, the program we all did in elementary school, most of our prime ministers are fitter than Taft. Yeah. Taft. Taft. He was like, he was much bigger than i even thought in my imagination oh it's i read a thing about taft where he was just like on a diplomatic uh like trip somewhere like somewhere in the states and it just listed the menu he requested for breakfast and it was like sausages bacon ham

three kinds of eggs two kinds of venison like it just went on and on and on and on three kinds of eggs two kinds of venison like it just went on and on and on and on three kinds of eggs like quail ostrich or just like chicken eggs

all prepared three ways I think one at least a quail and then two chicken egg preparations and then like

grits and then the last thing at the end of this gigantic disgusting list is just and a grapefruit wash it all down he's not eating that.

He wears it as a little hat. Yeah. And he's always falling asleep. Was he? Yeah, I mean it makes sense. You start your day with that meal. You're not making it to night time. I mean it's the most important meal of the day.

Yeah, so you do want to have many different things. You don't have seven at once. What did you have for breakfast today? I had... Judgey, Judge-erman. Two kinds of venison. Three kinds of quail eggs. Was that too personal a question?

No, I can't remember if I ate breakfast today. Young people don't value a good breakfast like you and me. Yeah, what did you have? A smoothie. Mm-hmm. That's enough. Some of Margo's egg and avocado. Yeah.

And that's probably part of the breakfast menu every day, a little bit of Margo's food. Yep. And then what do you put in a smoothie? I put a kiwi. Yeah. Half pound of venison. A tomato. No, a banana. Whatever. A tomato. Whichever the ones that aren't brain food.

Grants. Some yogurt, kale, frozen berries. Yeah. Maybe a couple other things. I forget. Yeah, that's pretty good. Oh, it was good. Oh, half an avocado as well.

Wow. Half an avocado. I had most of an avocado. Yeah. Yeah. Good food for your hair. You're doing great. You're nice and glossy.

I have a great glossy coat. You're really putting me and the rest of youth culture to shame with that breakfast. Get a hand blender and get a hand mirror and, you know, check yourself out. Oh, man. You had for breakfast. I had a mango. How?

I just cut it up and ate it with my shirt off. Because I'm fine with a mango. That juice flies everywhere. And I eat it ravenously. I don't eat a mango when I'm fine with a mango that juice flies everywhere and I eat it ravenously I don't eat a mango when I'm a little bit hungry

do you like just eat like into it like when like a like a man who's been starving for a long time in a movie

finds a live fish cast away yeah I spear it in my own kitchen yeah and then you just like go do you

yeah do you cut it into pieces or do you I cut it into pieces but then I go. He just throws it against a wall and just licks the wall. And you'll know which wall it is if you ever come over. Oh, there's a very clear mango wall.

It's dented, and it's covered in ants. Oh, yeah, what do you do to get rid of ants? What's the, do you put out? Do you have ants? A couple. I've seen a couple hanging out, and I don't like it. I don't, it's the, you know. If you can find where they're going, they, like, leave a trail for other ants to follow.

So do you just clean where the trail is? Yeah, even, like, vinegar. Just scrub it down. Yeah. And wind it all around. These are always the remedies that like, you're like, oh yeah,

okay. And then you go to do it and you're just in your apartment holding vinegar. Like, I'll just pour it all over the floor, I guess. Hopefully that's fine.

I don't know. Maybe you ruin the floor. I don't know. We've got, oh, we're vinegar people in this house. Oh, it's a vinegar household.

Oh yeah. We have a vinegar and water mixture in a spray bottle at all times. This house a sour house. Is what Dave said when I came in. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. Well, you, when you came in, you were eating a giant lollipop. And Dave said, this is a sour house.

You put that away. For breakfast, I had two types of apple cider vinegar, three types of wine vinegar. Yeah. What kind of just, is it just white vinegar and water? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's all sorts of things.

You don't want to wash your floor with a vinaigrette. No. Once you're emulsifying, you get a shallot in there, keep it off the floors. Ants love it. Oh, that's true. But yeah, like I've just seen a couple ants, but not like enough to like really send up the warning. But I'm like, I don't like it. I don't like that a couple got in.

I don't know where they got in. And it's so, you know so it's not ant weather yet. What? Yeah. Ant weather? I don't know. The one time we had ants it was summer so I don't know. Yeah. They're ruining picnics.

They're feeding anteaters. I don't know anything about ants. I really don't. I know what I learned. Maybe that's step one. Just learn about their culture, what they're into. You know what they're not into? Boiling water being poured onto their hills. Oh, did you do that?

I mean, I won't comment on that. No, fair enough. I didn't do it for pleasure if I did. I didn't do it statistically. Have you ever seen that video the guy that poured like molten metal

down an ant hill and then then it then it's like a sculpture full of dead ants oh yeah mostly I mean

you seem very disgusted I want him to have a different hobby no my my question is what did the pink panther say when he stepped on an ant

hmm god I hope it's Lestat based somehow different hobby. My question is, what did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? God, I hope it's Lestat based somehow. We all know the answer to this joke. I do. So we're not going to go through it. I might not.

Dead ant. Dead ant. Oh, no. I wish I hadn't asked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, Ebony, what are you doing? We all know

why Six is afraid of Seven, right? We're not going to is afraid of Seven, right? We're not going to say it. Yeah. Killed his mom. So besides writing a book, which is a huge undertaking. Yeah, it was. Speaking of The Undertaker, he's retired.

That just happened this past weekend. Anyways. Or a month ago, if you're listening in real time. That's right. We are so far ahead. I apologize. What else is going on? What else is going on in the world of Ebony Rose?

Yeah. Oh, hot cue. Hot cue. Oh, I did both my fantasy baseball drafts this week. That was exciting. Here we go. Yeah. Who's the big swinging dick this year?

Yeah. That's a baseball term, right? Who's dick's too big for the mound? Ew. As you were saying it, I was like, oh, okay. No. Who's the best guy in fantasy baseball? Yeah. Is he the best guy in fantasy baseball? Yeah.

Is he the best guy in regular baseball as well? Usually. Is his name... Oh, boy. Okay, tell me his name. Who is the number one draft pick in both of your things? In both things, it was Mike Trout. Mike Trout.

Which is a fun name. Fun name. Yeah. And what is his position? He is an outfielder. Okay. Sure. Where does he bat?

Third? Chirp. Honestly, I didn't do that much research this year. What makes it... How do you calculate... I say this every time we have a fantasy baseball person on. And it's always me. At least last time I was very drunk.

Yeah, I remember that. Because it was after game five of the ALDS, and I just had watched the most exciting baseball game I've ever seen, and then I was like, oh, no. Oh, no. And I had to come here. And I think I explained just also fantasy baseball in a way that you guys were like, oh, okay.

You know what? We'll skip this topic. Yeah, let's just skip it. But what was the draft like? Was it in person or did you do it virtually? No, it's not. You do it virtually. And then is this kind of what you do whenever you're bored, like waiting in line up somewhere

or whatever, like just check your, or is this something that you'd have to check in every morning and make adjustments? Every morning, there's a baseball in my something and they're swinging dicks they're doing it this year. Shut the door, baby. Don't say a word. That was really good.

That was, yeah, that was tight. That was fucking tight. Is this, yeah um is this yeah is this a commitment you gotta stay you gotta stay on top of it it's a bit of a commitment yeah

so but would you ever consider joining maybe a third or fourth league yeah yeah I'd like to make myself

a bit sick so I think that would be a fun way to do that just what's a way I can feel bad about myself is it only for baseball? There's a camp you can go suck a dick at.

I'm still getting over that. Camp you can go suck a dick. Camp suck a dicky. Yeah. It's a Jewish summer camp. Hello, Mada. In Algonquin Park. Did you go to camp every summer?

I did for like six or seven summers. And then did you become a counselor? That seems to be like a lot of people who are like regular campers would then like graduate up. I think I almost graduated. Like I was a counselor in training. And then I was like, fuck, I sucked all the dicks of this camp. I didn't go back. Fair enough.

Sure. I only went to summer camp one summer, maybe two summers. Was it sleep away camp? Yeah, but it wasn't. I didn't love it. Like, I feel like there's people who really were into it. Yeah. In a big way.

And I wasn't one of those kids. I think I warmed up to it by the end. But I was like, this is, I have a plenty comfortable bed back in the city. Yeah. The camp I went to was, it was like, it was real. It had the best, like, you know. Water sports. I didn't want to say water sports because you're both gross.

Water skiing. You have one of those big bananas you can ride on. Oh, that's fun. That they pull behind the motorboat. It was Christian. Right. But mostly, we really liked the water. That's how they get you.

They lead with the water skiing. Exactly. And they're like, Jesus will do what he does. But it was the kind of like the first year I went, some of my friends had already gone and said it was so much fun. No one mentioned it was Christian. But when you're a kid, just sometimes things are Christian. Yeah.

Did they try to make it fun? Like the counselor would be like, what would Jesus do? And the kids were like, water ski. Like, was it that kind? Did they try to make him part of it? all the fun christian songs pharaoh pharaoh whoa let my people go free even though that's more jewish than any yeah but we didn't have that my jewish summer camp so was it a jewish summer camp it was it was and it wasn't like there was it like dave's's Christian summer camp?

Everyone was Jewish, but then there would always be one weirdo who would get there and be like, Oh, you're all Jewish, huh? Did you have to say a prayer before every meal? Yeah, before every meal, we would do the motzi over the food. Don't know what that is. Yeah, I mean, I've never heard the motzi. Blessed are they who are Lord our God, King of the Universe, who brings forth death from the earth. Yeah, that was it.

Okay, all right. We would say it really fast. Before every meal. Before every meal. I botched it a bit, but that's close. And that's how it sounded. It was just a bunch of kids being like, I'm going to find camera hamburgers. And then on Friday nights, we would do Shabbat.

Okay. Also, explain it to me like I don't know what Shabbat is. Well, thousands of years ago in the land of Egypt. Here we go. Pharaoh, Pharaoh. There, and then, yeah, and then the Christian kids would just come over from the lake, and then that was it. Oh, yeah, of course. Oh, yeah.

The forbidden rendezvous at night. I don't know. Was it a boy-girl camp? It was a boy-girl camp. Okay. That was. That's as big as she's thought. I don't know.

One of the counselors. No. I don't know. It's a crime. It wasn't a crime camp. I don't know that it wasn't a crime camp. Are we talking too much? Are we dwelling too much on this beach?

Was your boy girl camp? Yeah. Do you know anybody that went to just a boy or just a girl camp? Because I feel like in movies. Soldiers. Yeah, in movies that seem to be very common. We got to sneak over to the girls. Yeah, we got to sneak over to the other camp.

But I don't feel like that actually happened. This new Smurfs movie is fair. They have a boy. They have an all-girl Smurf community. Isn't it just the one? No, in the new Smurfs movie, there's a bunch of women. I'll say this for you, Dave. You are always up on Smurf news and Smurf media.

I never bother to look it up. I know when I come to Vancouver, you're just going to fill me in on what's going on. Well, this weekend was our fantasy Smurf draft. Who did you have? Who did you get? Grumpy Smurf. Saxophone Smurf. Saxophone Smurf.

Yeah, yeah. I got Acid Jazz Smurf. Digable Planet Smurf. DJ Smurf. Frog jazz Smurf. Digable planet Smurf. DJ Smurf. Frog rock Smurf. I don't know, aside from Papa Smurf. Yeah, I could. Is there a mama Smurf?

No. It's just Papa Smurf and the woman Smurf. Smurfette. Oh, Smurfette. The woman Smurf. I guess they don't come out of procreation. They're just born out of, I don't know. Like a mushroom.

Gargamel's butt. But who, I know there's a smart one. Yeah, there's a grainy Smurf. There's a grouchy guy. It's gotta be Grumpy Smurf. Yeah, and then I lose, then I lose the thread.

You doing all right there? I am. Just joking. Anyways, summer camp to you guys. Yeah. It's a smurf's paradise. Your parents shipped you off every summer. Yeah, they hated me.

Was it for the whole summer? Yeah. Holy cow. First couple years I went for a month and then after that, yeah, you go for the whole summer. Your parents are both psychics? Yeah, they're both psychics. If I recall correctly. Yeah.

They thought, I see she's going to have fun at this camp. Maybe get to learn some stuff about herself sexually. Do you know what your parents did while you were out of town? Probably some hardcore stuff. Oh, yeah. How long were these camps? One week? Two weeks?

Oh, no. My parents were going camps? One week? Two weeks? Oh, no. My parents were going hardcore for a full two months of summer. Wow. I went away for one week. I would go away to camp. Yeah, I think the camp I was at was two weeks. That was all my parents got. It's a real thing of Jewish summer camp, I think.

You go all summer. That's a real shape. And then do your parents go on holiday? Or do they just, that is the holiday. Ebony's gone and let's just. Tits out. Party now. I don't know.

I think they went to, they went somewhere. Yeah? Yeah. But not for two months. No. No. They had to, they were psychic work. They had to get back to the psychic show.

They were psychiatrists? My mom's a therapist. Well, good. Okay. And. Your dad's a therapist. Well, good. Okay. And your dad's a college professor. Wow. Very good. Nice.

Nice. Dave's the psychic. Dave's the psychic. Or maybe I just have a connection with people. Yeah. And I don't get credit for it because I'm mean to everyone. And the only child? What a curse.

Yes. So they couldn't. As soon as summer came, they were like, we can't handle just you. From what age? Hit the bricks. Like you went for about seven years from. Like nine to whatever that's one. Right.

And then after that, summer jobs? Yeah. Yeah. Summer camp, summer jobs. Oh, boy. Summer love. What was your first ever summer job or job in general? My first job was a weird job.

I worked as the reception. Like, I used to babysit for this family. job i worked as the reception like i used to babysit for this family and then i went on to work as the receptionist in his like sexy dermatology clinic like i worked in like a botox clinic oh okay i was like what makes it sexy but then you said botox and i was right on board oh sure so this is uh this is a paying out of pocket this is not government uh this is women who just need to hang on you know and they're coming in there and i'm i'm sure representing a youth that they don't want to see is the first thing when they come in 15 year old yeah so did they tell you to dress like a 50

year old and be like don't say that you're somebody who uses this product yeah we want to no i did like theater makeup to age myself up and i had like the gray wig i put a baking powder in my hair uh and you did that for like just a summer or for like a that was that was your job i think that was my job for a year and like did book just did you ever do it? Botox? Yeah, I just, I started early. I started,

I'm not preemptive. If I was there, you know, see what it could do. Sure. I'd get it, you know, in some place,

just, you know, like my elbow, just to see if it would smooth out that little part. Yeah. Imagine you saw someone who just had such a smooth elbow. Yeah. Like,

just like an air hockey table slick. I hear he's been botoxing yeah but that can't be natural that's not it's not that's not it's real what is that collagen what are those fillers oh yeah did they just do botox or they do the whole all of that stuff i don't remember plumpers do these they use plumpers? What about uppers? Plumpers, dumpers. Uppers, slammers. I heard Kim Kardashian is a natural. She's got some plumpers in her dumper. She's got some plumpers in her dumper and some slammers in her jammers. And they're always coming out with some new crazy thing that people will try, right?

Oh, yeah. Get blood out, put it in your face. Mm-hmm. You know, have an insect. Get it out of where? Oh, out of your butt. It is. I think it is out of your butt. It is.

The vampire, I kept calling it the vampire facial. Vancouver, the vampire. The Vancouver special. Well, it was on the Real Housewives of Vancouver. That's why I remember. The vampire facelift. Ah. Thank you.

Is this the most vampire-themed episode of the show? No. No, no, no. No, no, no. Well, I'm sorry that I asked. And I feel ashamed. Speaking of the Real Housewives, have you been watching this one that takes place in your neck of the woods?

In Toronto? No, but I saw the promo for it and it was the funniest thing. It's so low stakes and shitty. And there was one, just one clip of a woman like in a restaurant sitting, like so made up. She goes, like, it started as a cool insult and then really fell apart.

She was like, don't, don't you come for me. Don't you make me angry or you're gonna see smoke coming out of my nostrils oh work on these burns yeah there's a real

Toronto burn I mean I'd like to see that yeah no it's a great show is it is it great yeah

but they just go to like regular restaurants that are like a bit expensive yeah they go to the keg yeah they just go to the keg on king

but they order whatever they wantg. Yeah, they just go to the keg on King. But they order whatever they want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they do get drunk every time. Yeah. That's the requirement, I think. I don't think you can have a decent reality show without, right? Yeah, without kind of like, because otherwise people are just going to rash.

What's that? That's not a real show. Isn't there a show called Sober House? I think there was maybe. Yeah. Was Dr. Drew on it? Dr. Drew maybe. Yeah. That must have been canceled very quick.

I mean, the one guy who showed up drunk, that was probably a great episode. I think that's probably the problem is people. It's people who don't like to be sober. Right. Yeah. They hate living there. They're always trying to escape. Yeah.

Going over to drunk house across the lake. Which is the best reality show. Dave, what's going on with you? Oh, well, like I said before the show, I got plenty going on. Tell me more. Plenty to get to know us. The other day, I went to a movie by myself. Oh.

Because. It was the Smurfs. As a parent of two children, we've never hired a babysitter. Right. So we do a lot of handing off. Hey, you go have fun today. Now you go have fun. Sure.

So I went. A lot of romance spa packages on your own. A lot of things you used to do with your wife. Things I used to do, like romance spa packages. When you and Abby were that couple. I think we just learned a lot about Ebony. What kind of couple

you make. Have you ever been on a spa package? No. Would you? Oh, no. What goes on in a spa?

They mud your face. They massage your back. They cup you. Don't they do fingernails, toenails? Penny pennies? Yeah, sure. Penny pennies? Sure. Couples massage. They cup you. Don't they do fingernails, toenails? Oh, yeah, sure. Penny pennies? Sure.

Couples massage. They do stones. Hot stones. Actually, I lied a bit. I went and actually got a couples massage, but it wasn't a creepy one. We were just in rooms sort of side by side, and it was open, but they were like, Oh, but they showed us a romance room where you can get a couples massage side by side, and then there's the fantasy shower. And we were what and they're like yeah we give you a massage and

we just leave you and then there's just a shower in this room with like led lights and it was just like like they were just so clearly being like yeah we give you a massage and then you and then you fuck you fuck in this place many people are fucked before. Yeah, you fuck in the wet fuck hole. You know, LED fuck tornado. It was like a fancy spa in your town. LED fuck tornado. It was very weird. That sounds all right.

Yeah. So you're going there alone. And they would be like, Drake fucked here once. So you've been going to a lot of LED fuck tornadoes by yourself. Yeah. LED fuck tornadoes. I just like to go somewhere where I can wear a very short robe. Yeah. Yeah.

And you know, like, it's not weird if you go to a couple's massage by yourself. You just push the two things together and you have an extra one. Really spread out. No, I want both of you working on me. I got a thing on my back, though, so stay away from it. I went to a movie. I saw Get Out. Oh, yeah.

Because I went to maybe two movies last year. So I'm trying to keep that pace up. I feel like you can do it. I feel like you can best it. Oh, you think I could see three? Three. I almost saw three last year. Calm down. Yeah. I bought tickets for can do it. I feel like you can best it. Oh, you think I could see three? Three. I almost saw three last year. Calm down.

Yeah. I bought tickets for three last year. I have Dave in my fantasy movie pool. What's the over-under? You know what? I feel like I'm going to win this pool this year. I feel like... Okay.

Yeah. I think a lot of people are betting against you, but I think you're going to do it. And is the whole pool just betting about the number of movies Dave will see this year? Well, there's other people in it. We're in it. What? How many movies have you seen in 2017?

In a theater. You know what? Get Out, I think, is the only one I've seen. Thank you. We're tied. And I saw it because it's the movie everyone says you need to see yeah because otherwise somebody's gonna probably spoil it for you it's a very spoilable oh yeah yeah yeah like what why why is this all happening yeah yeah what am i watching here what's going on and i had all the same trailers that you saw yeah yeah, yeah. The dumb, dumb trailers. The dumb trailers for dumb movies.

And someone about halfway through the movie took their phone out and just looked at their phone for five minutes. In front of you? Like, you know, six rows in front of me. Nobody did anything about it. What can you do? I mean, you can be like, hey, hey man you've been a not good one hey man you're being a not good one are you a reggae boss yeah take it from the reggae boss uh because because you would have you ever done that in a theater said to somebody stop doing that because they feel like uh get beaten up if i think i have before he was in a theater? Said to somebody, stop doing that? Because I feel like I'd get beaten up if I said that.

I think I have before. He was in a place where I was like, because it was that stadium seating where you walk into the theater and there's a bunch of seats up high and some down low. And he, like, there was enough separation that I could have walked down, gone up behind him, and been like, I could have grabbed his phone. Oh, yeah. That would have been a power move. That would have been a power move. Or I could have just gone, whispered in his ear,

you're ruining everything. Yeah. Get out of this theater. Very good. I like when there's a sort of tie-in kind of marketing. You're making me fast and furious. Yeah.

Seven. If you're not careful, you're going to end up in a dead pool. Two. All the marketing's for sequels. Yeah. Now, when you go to a movie by yourself, you buy snacks. Yeah. Nice.

Popcorn. Uh-huh. And a pib, because it's not something I've ever seen but now in these machines are you okay? yeah we're worried

about you Evan I'm just gonna do a really big cough and then I'll be over yeah yeah go for it she was a kid no I think she's she was a kid

she was a kid she was a kid holy cow okay god it's a thrill to be here that was like that was like three witches yelling at each other yeah uh well i had to swallow three witches as the price for getting a book done oh fair enough yeah one three. Witch is here before you. Yeah, I got a pib. And on the way home, it was a matinee. So on the way home, I called Abby and I said, what is our dinner plan for our whole family?

But none of us have thought about it. She's like, I don't know. Want to stop at Wendy's? So I did. I must have thought about, she's like, I don't know, want to stop at Wendy's? So I did. And Margot had her first ever chicken nuggets, which are, I believe, a childhood staple. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And then afterwards, you know, I was putting her to bed and we talked about her day. And I said, did you like dinner? Did you like having the food from Wendy's? And she was like, I like McDonald's. Oh. Oh, she's got a taste. A brand loyalty. And I was like, I like McDonald's. Oh, Oh, a brand loyalty. And I was like, Oh,

why? What do you like about McDonald's? She's like, you get a little toy. She's not wrong. Yeah. That's weird that, well,

I guess Burger King used to give away a toy, but Wendy's never did. Do we want to take a break? Help me. Help me. What can we do to help you out? I don't know.

Fuck, kill me. Let's take a break. Let's take a break Let's take a break Sure, sure I'm fine So we're back now Yeah We're back

Ebony's alive Ebony's alive Sorry everyone Um, I, uh I've done my story Oh, okay Okay Whatever

Sure So, Graham Yeah What's up with you? Uh I also went to a movie. This is movie number two this year for you. Yeah, I think

did I go to a third one? No, I think this is movie number two. I mean, ideally I'd like to get up to movie 43. Oh, yeah. That's Lindsay Lohan. I think that was. Everyone was. Yeah, that was. Yeah. Multiple directors, multiple stars.

How many Oscars did it win? It won Razzies. It definitely won Razzies. It swept the Razzies. Wow. The Razzies are unfair. I feel like the Razzies probably... People drink a lot more.

They probably have a lot more fun at the Razzies. I don't think people show up to acclaim their awards. But once in a while, somebody will. I think Sandra Bullock did. Halle Berry did like a big speech once at the Razzies. And like if you show up, you're going to be the only celebrity there. Unlike at the Oscars where you're like one of a hundred, you know. Fucking lost in the crowd.

But you show up at the Razzies. You're one of one. You and probably Weird Al Yankovic's probably there. Probably got a standing invitation. You and probably Weird Al Yankovic's probably there. Yeah. Probably got a standing invitation. I feel like anyone famous has a standing invitation to the Razzies. They're pumped you showing up.

Where do they hold them? Basement. Yeah, Hooters. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know anything about the function of the Razzies. They happen around the time of the Oscars, and they release a press release saying ben affleck won a brazi oh boy yeah he's uh or whatever he seems am i am i wrong in guessing that he's fairly humorless about himself no no i think that's right that's probably right no he's

a god of sense of humor yeah i feel like matt Damon really can, you can really joke around with him about his career and Matt Damon would be like, you know what? At the end of the day, I'm Matt Damon. The thicker his neck gets, the more fragile his ego gets. This is Ben Affleck? Yeah. His neck is looking thick.

Am I wrong? Is the cleft in his chin getting deeper as the years go by? I think so. You should go to your dermatologist? Is the cleft in his chin getting deeper as the years go by? You should go to your dermatologist. Yeah. Take that cleft. We'll buff that cleft right out. Got a couple dumpers in that cleft.

You won't even know it was there. I've got a thick neck too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's something. It's as thick. It's as wide as my head. Yeah. Like it doesn't go in.

Huh. And if I ever bought any shirt that fits my body, it does not fit my neck. Yeah. Anything that fits my shoulders, I cannot close the top. I cannot. I also have trouble. But I think I've got a lot of fat hanging out on my neck. Uh-huh.

I think I've got a bit of a chubby neck. Oh, we can take care of that. Yeah? Yeah. What do you do? Just take out... Slammers. Look, the Dr. Acula will come and just leave him alone with your neck.

So I went and saw a movie. Uh-huh. Saw a late movie. So it was in that international village. Okay. So you go and it's for people who are not in town. Or maybe you've never been to a movie at International Village. I've never been to an International Village.

Let me tell you about it. It's a mall. Great. But it is closed at 9 o'clock. But the movie theater, you have to walk through the mall to get to the movie theater. There's no way to get to the movie theater. But it's a weird mall. It's very weird. It doesn't have any stories. to the movie theater. But it's a weird mall. It's very weird.

It doesn't have any stories. Are you telling me that International Village is a weird mall? Here's what we're trying to tell you. I know. The name's weird.

Go on. It was, I think it was envisioned for the Chinese audience. Yeah, because it's very, it's on the edge of Chinatown.

It's international. And for a long time, it was on the edge of Chinatown. It's international. And for a long time it was like a lot of unoccupied stores. It doesn't have any stores that are chains that you've heard of except for 7-Eleven. Taco Time. Okay. Oh yeah, there's a McDonald's. There's a 7-Eleven in the mall? Yeah.

That's weird. But it's great if you're going to a movie. Yeah, it's perfect. Sure. Load up there. Yeah, get your cheap Twizzlers. Slither on in. Yeah, it's perfect. Load up there. Yeah, get your cheap Twizzlers. Slither on in. So, you know, they also have the location of the Cat Fae.

Oh, yeah. It's in there. Cat Fae? Cat Cafe? Cat Cafe. Oh, Cat Fae. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good.

Do they keep the cats where they keep the coffee or do you have to go into a separate room with your shoes on? The cats make the coffee. Shut the fuck up. No, they don't.

No, they don't. Yeah, they do. I think it's a separate room. I've went once, and I've gone once. I think you buy a coffee, and then you bring it to where the cats are. And it's weird. The cats are there when it's closed. Yeah.

I don't know what I thought. I thought they would, whoever owned it, brought the cats home with them. I thought they were their cats. I didn't know that the cats lived in the cafe. So that's something I learned. The other tenants of this mall include a store where you would get miniature sci-fi or fantasy characters and paint them. Like, kind of like a... Like a model.

Like a modelman's shop. And there's also, like, a place that you buy things for D&D, stuff like that. Right. I imagine there's a store where you can get a very complicated cell phone case. Yeah. I mean, there's... That's more a kiosk thing. Right.

There's not really any kiosks in this mall. The food court is ever-changing, except for the Taco Time. That's a staple. Well, it's international. Yeah, it was, but we're going in there. You looked very mad at me when I said that. Do not make fun of Taco Time on this podcast. I have a mean face.

People don't know I'm warm and remember that their parents are a psychic and a college man. Yeah. A psychic and a carnival partner. They were actually the basis for the show, Psychic and the College Man. You guys remember that one? Yeah. Solved crimes. Yeah, the psychic would predict what the college man would get in all his essays.

That was the end of the episode after they saw the crime. C minus. Psychic. I'm just calling it like I see it. I tried so hard. I derailed you. I apologize. No, no, no.

We've all derailed you. You saw a movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But late at night and this this spooky mall and uh the thing that i've been doing i was working in the mall go on late one night you've gone and i went to body shop and bought some bat bombs now there's no body shop i know i was saying a mall I was doing mall thing But I've been You know

I've really been spooking myself With this It trailer Oh yeah Oh man I cannot stop watching it I watched it because you talked about it I can't stop watching it It's so scary

It's terrifying Have you seen it? No I don't care It's so scary Are you particularly afraid of clowns? Yeah And then I thought I was over it it no i don't care are you particularly afraid of clowns yeah uh and then because of it i don't think because of it but i don't think that it uh you know helped that along any because when i was a kid that was like the thing that we weren't allowed to watch did you ever so you but

you have seen it uh seen parts of it i watched it. I was never allowed to watch anything where John Ritter had a beard. Oh, yeah? What was that, like Young Doctors in Love? I was never allowed to watch anything where Harry Anderson wasn't a judge. Oh, yes. I didn't know Harry Anderson was in it until very recently. Did you watch It? The original It?

I never saw It. It was shot here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really like, I hope everyone listening is imagining which of the It's we're saying are a little lowercase I and which are an uppercase I. It was shot here. It was shot here. Yeah. And this new It shot where you live. Really?

Yeah. A Toronto It. At your house. Finally. A Toronto It. Who plays the clown man? Who plays it? In the old one or the new one?

The new one. A lesser known Skarsgård? Oh, okay. There's a lesser known Skarsgård? There's a Billy Baldwin Skarsgård? Yeah, Billy Baldwin Skarsgård. Yeah. Well, there's the Skarsgårds and the Sarsgård.

Oh. And the Gyllenhaals. Oh, wait. Which ones are the Skarsgårds and the Sarsgård. Oh. And the Gyllenhaals. Oh, wait. Which ones are the Skarsgårds? Skarsgårds are like Stellan Skarsgård and Alexander Skarsgård. Who are the Sarsgårds? Peter Sarsgård. Oh, maybe it's Peter Sarsgård.

I don't know. Peter Sarsgård and Stellan Skarsgård. Scary as shit. And the guy, one of the kids from Stranger Things. Okay. And anyway, so watching that the kids from Stranger Things. Okay. And anyway, so watching that trailer about 12 times a day and then going into a spooky abandoned mall at night. What movie did you see?

Train Spotting 2. Okay, that's going to mess you up a bit as well. You know what? It was nice. Oh, okay. It was a sweet little film. If you had seen the first one. If you had not seen the first one, there's no reason to see the second one.

But it was a nice sequel. Didn't ruin the first one. It didn't take these characters that you remember and then kind of screw up their storyline or whatever. Like the female Ghostbusters did and kind of ruined my childhood. Oh, yeah. One of those guys. But I was in the... Yeah, Bernie would have won.

I was in the theater, and before the movie, they have these things that you can play with your cell phone. They say, take out your cell phone and play along. And there was only, because it was the only movie being shown at this time, and there was only one guy in the theater playing. And some... That's some so sad did he win some points he did but at one point there was a question on the screen of who stars in this upcoming movie and then there was a picture of the person and it was christian bale and i could

see he chose the wrong thing so he yelled down like it like, it's B, Christian Bale. And he wouldn't change it, so he got it wrong. Who did he pick? He picked C, George Clooney. Oh, come on. Stupid idiot. They don't look alike. Who was the best Batman? It was which former Batman star is starring in some movie that nobody who watched Batman would watch.

Oh, right. And it was Christian Bale was the answer. And the guy playing was Ben. Oh, Ben. Yeah. Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. Do you think it was current Batman Ben Affleck? Huh? That's why he screws him up on purpose.

Although he did have a really thick neck. Yeah. Yeah. How wide was his neck? Real wide. Wait a minute. He was wearing three scarves tied together. Wait a minute.

He was wearing three scarves tied together. They really save on bulking up the cowl for the Batman with Ben Affleck because he's got that naturally. They just paint his neck black. They really save on bulking up the cowl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because with most Batmans, they've got to stuff it. There's so much cowl. The cowl budget budgets out of control.

It's like you see as you're watching. Cow budget. Dude. As you're watching the trailer. And in the credits, it's the cow department. Yeah, cow department, cow stuffer, cow molder, cowman. Cow gal. Cow grip.

Cow gal. And we would like to thank the Cowl Society of California for their cooperation. Reverse cowl, cowl. Simon Cowl. Simon Cowl. Special thanks. Oh, boy. A lot of cowl humor.

Yeah. So, this guy lost. This guy lost. He didn't win a pib. He didn't win a pib, but we... Ben's his own worst enemy. We should have... There was only five of us in the theater.

We could have banded together to get Ben top score all the time. Or to get him laid. Yeah. Yeah. I'd see that movie. Let's get Ben laid. Is that what the movie's called? Yeah.

Ben needs to get laid. These are working times. Yeah. Ben deserves pussy, would be what I would call it. And then it comes out and it's Dirty Dancing 3 Havana Nights Havana Days

Too hot for dancing What are we talking about? I don't know I'm just having fun Mostly I'm just here for the fun So yeah, cat fake Cats at night Sailor's Delight You can put your hand up on the window Yeah, it's fun. Mostly I'm just here for the fun. He's here for the fun. So yeah, cat fate. Cats at night.

Sailor's delight. You can put your hand up on the window. They'll put their paws up to touch your hand. Oh, wow. So when you did a whole tour. Oh, yeah. Went around, saw all the... Yeah, we had to check for it. Yeah.

Where's it? So you never saw it, but you're afraid of it. Yeah, because it's about a clown that lives in the sewer. I live. Did you read the book yet? No. Dave, I'm too scared. What was it?

It was a TV miniseries? Yeah. What's the new one? Movie. Movie. Yeah, yeah. So they cut out all the ads. The first draft of the skit had like,

this skit, the first draft of the skit had like... This is the skit. The first draft of the movie had a lot of breaking. Why is there 30 seconds on Gillette here? Subscribe to Hulu. What is it? What does it do? Where did it come from? Was it manifested by their imaginations?

I just know that one of the things that it takes the shape of is Pennywise the clown. And he steals kids. Takes them down to the sewer. To what end? Probably not to just relax with them and have a good time. What if it wasn't? Yeah, that's true. What if he just doesn't know how to communicate well? Still scary.

Why are you hanging out in that sewer, clown? What is he? I thought he was a full-time clown. He manifests as other things as well? I think so. I think he's a monster. I think that's why it's called It. Because we don't really know what It is. That's why it's not called Pennywise and Pals.

I hope that's the first question on the press junket no is is it a full-time clown also if you were a little kid and you saw a clown's face in the sewer would you not run why would you not run away why don't they do they not no georgie uh that's the only clip i've seen on youtube is where georgie talks to pennywise and pennywise pulls him into the sewer georgie georgie's so dumb what a dumb idiot well kids can't resist clowns they're so for sewers thank you ninja turtles. But yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

So it's not coming out until September. But you're excited to see a movie you're too scared to watch. Or you just want it to be over with. Are you going to see it when it comes out? Yeah. So you're going to conquer your it fear. No. No, no.

I'm just going to get so scared. I'm going to have to go during a matinee. No way I'll make it home at night in the dark You don't want to walk past a cat thing at night After seeing it But you can't If you go home in still daylight People will see you've wet your pants

No, that's a good point I'll bring an extra pair of pants Or just wear a really dark pair of pants That's what I do day to day So people can't tell that I wet my pants Well, you might think about it at any time And then you just release. I did.

Oh. Oh, he's doing it. He's doing it. Oh, boy. Do you want to move on to overheards? Yeah. Are you easily confused by terms like cultural appropriation, cisgender, and woke? Or maybe you find yourself constantly explaining terms like these and you need a place to vent.

Do you have a love for all things pop culture, social commentary and politics? Sounds like you need Minority Corner! Where you can learn, laugh and play. Sounds like Blue's Clues! Only it's more black, gay and ladylike. James and

Aneke will happily administer your weekly dose each and every Friday. You can listen on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. Minority Corner with a K because the C was taken. So the 2017 MaxFunDrive was a huge success. Thank you so much to everyone who joined or upgraded during the drive and to all of our amazing monthly members. To celebrate, we're giving our $10 and higher monthly members the chance to buy additional enamel pins with the profits going to our friends at the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank. What? Yeah. The sale runs April 26th through May 3rd, and it's your last chance to get your hands on these sweet pins.

and it's your last chance to get your hands on these sweet pins. $10 monthly members should receive a link and a code in their email on April 26th. So keep an eye on your inbox and get your denim jacket ready. For more information, visit MaximumFun.org slash pins. And thank you again. Overheard. Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard

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Overheard Yeah, I have an it's an oversaw. I don't have an over. That'll do. I oversaw the construction. Every time. No. OK, so I was in Venice Beach recently and I walked to an area like an area called Abbott Kinney, which is very trendy in a way that is irritating. Like give me one thing that's happening. I feel like you can buy, like, a single, like, earthenware mug or, like, just, like, well-packaged crystals, like, anywhere. Like, every store. But you can't get a beer anywhere.

No, no. So it's, like, trendy hippie trendy? It's, like, trendy hippie trendy. Yeah. Okay. If that makes sense. Okay. Like, people who don't care to be dirty, but they love the idea of being earthy.

Right. You know these types? Yeah. Not that hippies are dirty. I didn't mean that to be so harsh, but they're not committing to the stink element of it. They're just committing. Why are you apologizing to hippies? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know. Isn't most of your audience hippies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're the fish. You guys get a lot of deadheads, right? Yeah, we're the fish of podcasts. Yeah, you're, yeah. I don't know. Isn't most of your audience the abyss? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're the fish. You guys get a lot of deadheads, right? Yeah, we're the fish of podcasts. Yeah, you're, yeah. We often at our concerts

will just noodle around with words. I mean, we really kind of, when we do a live show, it is basically wasting everyone's time like a fish costume. Oh, you're the comedy equivalent

of fish for sure. Yeah. Absolutely. Like, we, yeah, some people have conceived children during our shows. Oh, you're the comedy equivalent of fish for sure. Absolutely. Yeah, some people have conceived children during our shows. You'll really enjoy it more if you're rolling. Yeah. Yeah, the shirts are very concept.

So I went into one of these fancy coffee shops. And I do a monthly column for Guitar World. Trey's Corner. these fancy coffee shops. And I do a monthly column for Guitar World. Trey's Corner. You went into one of these hippie shops. No, yeah.

It was a very like very sexy coffee shop. They had little bites. And I went in and there was someone in front of me but he wasn't like really like trying to buy me.

He was just kind of standing there like a ding dong. So I was like, excuse me. And he turned around and trying to bind me. He was just kind of standing there like a ding-dong. So I was like, excuse me. And he turned around, and it was Archie from Riverdale. Whoa! KJ Apa? Yeah.

Is that his name? Yeah. Yeah. He's a Kiwi, apparently. He's not a bar. He should get in my smoothie. Get out of my drink. Get in there with the grits.

And dyed red hair? No, his hair. Okay, I think it's his real hair. It's not a wig. He wasn't, you didn't say bald. He wasn't upsettingly bald. He turned around and his eyes were all white. And he was bald.

So he was Annie and uh so he was annie's dad yeah annie famously had no dad oh yeah yeah but you know what i'm talking about all white yeah like annie's were yeah i'm pretty sure daddy warbucks was. He just had circles for eyes. That's who I thought you were describing. Archie doesn't have all white. She was just saying it was a traumatic, weird thing. Get on board, Graham. I've been trying to. But the board keeps taking cough breaks.

I'm not well. So, here I am face-to-face with Archie. Oh, yeah. His hair is like a weirdest, it's clearly color corrected on the TV, but it's still got red hues, but it doesn't look like it belongs to his body. Right. But his body, ooh. Ooh, he's short. Oh, really?

He was a little one. I feel like you can't be, you know, can't be stuck like that unless you're like a tiny guy. Archie! Archie! Archie! Get over here! Get over here! Finish him!

Don't mind if I do. So I ordered my coffee, and then he ordered a juice he ordered a tall white or whatever in kiwiland yeah he ordered a tall white kiwi and then he got his juice first and we were standing but I didn't know

I wasn't really starstruck I just didn't know what to say or do I was just sort of being like in my mind i was like yeah you um is your whole thing on this show is it just going to be songwriting is that going to be your only do you get another plot yeah is it you also like football a little bit yeah ronnie or benny you're just not that you're you're out you're not gonna he started with the the most controversial plot line.

Oh, yeah. That was. The Grunders. Yeah, he's grabbing Grunders under. I wish that had been the name of the episode. I mean, yeah. You just saw him. You saw him.

I saw him. I thought that was a pretty good armor saw. No, no, it was. I'm just wondering if there's more or if we can jump in now. Yeah, no, jump in. That was it. I just saw him and I thought, I hope you're proud of you. Well, I feel like you're not starstruck because you're sort of rooting for him.

You're like, hey, way to go. You're on your way up. Yeah. It's like how I felt when I first heard Avril Lavigne's music. And I was like, oh, this girl's really talented. She'll probably be washed up in six weeks. But you know what? That's a really good song.

You fall and you crawl and you take and you break and you put it into Honesty and Promise Me. Promise me you won't marry Jack Kroger. Promise me. At least marry the guy from Sum 41 first. Yeah. That was a good pairing.

It was a good pairing. Yeah, that made all the sense in the world. When Sum 41 and Avril Lavigne joined forces, did they ever release an album? No, but they were both in that Treble Charger video. That's true. Where they're jumping into the pool. Fun. Oh, man.

Imagine jumping in a pool with your wife. Gosh. Have you ever done that? Dare to dream, Graham. I've done that, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Fun.

Just gentle aspiration. Oh, man. Imagine just jumping into a pool with your wife. Think about it, though. Do you think you'd like to be married one day, Graham? I mean, if there's that type of fun, then yeah, maybe. Maybe. I think that's the most we've ever talked about it in 10 years of this show.

Well, I like to go deep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We learned a lot about everybody on this podcast, really. Dave, you have an overheard? Okay. Mine is an overseen as well. Mine is from Instagram. Now, Instagram is owned by Facebook, so I think they know little things about me.

Yeah, yeah. Pretty little lies. I've described some of these posts I've seen, like promoted posts advertised to me to other people. And they're like, no, I don't get those at all. Oh. But I think all that Facebook knows about me is that I'm a man who was born in December. And that's it. So I get

these promoted posts in my Instagram. One is a photograph of they're all for t-shirts. One is a photograph of the tennis star Roger Federer wearing a shirt that

says legends are born in December. Oh! Which is when I was born. Roger Federer was not born in December so it would be weird for him to actually wear that shirt. But you also play tennis. But I don't, I've never posted anything of that to the internet.

It's interesting that they were. It is interesting. They didn't pick a sport you don't play. And then there was one that said. I didn't get some highlight guy wearing that t-shirt. There was one that was, I think it was Beyonce. And it was like, goddesses are born in December. She also was not born in December. But then my favorite one was this one with a picture of a tribe called quest on it yeah and it says

never underestimate an old fan who listens to a tribe called quest and was born in december that's a lot of info for one t-shirt yeah that's yeah there it is That's... Yeah, there it is. Really? Yeah. Never underestimate an old fan who listens... And there's so many fonts and letter shapes going on in this. And this was selected for me.

I don't really listen to A Tribe Called Quest. If it comes on a thing, I will skip it. They're really pegging you as old in a rude way. I'm definitely... If I'm in the lengthy history of A Tribe Called Quest, I'm a new fan. Yeah, that's true. And why is this a shape of a person we're underestimating all the time? Oh, are you telling me he's old, loves Tribe Called Quest, and was born in December?

When was this motherfucker born? He can do anything. That's very funny and eerie yeah because i the only i always just get things that i was looking for yeah yeah i still get those yeah so like fucking i looked at one ad for a couch and now the whole internet is like coach coach coach coach coach, couch, couch, couch, couch. Yeah, everything's all couches all the time. I'm getting a lot of cured meat of the month club. I don't know what I've done to earn this.

Do you like cured meat? I mean, I've dabbled, but it's certainly not a major interest I've made known. Yeah, these are cured meats you could even eat in, I don't know, December. known yeah these are cured meats you could even eat in i don't know december i really i never occurred to me i could be getting cured meats every month yeah that's a fun that's a fun thing that you can do you cured anything really uh it's probably because of all my cells yeah i should yeah thank you but would you sign up for a thing of the month? I used to sign up for Nature Box. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Can you do that in Canada? You can. I was just heard it on American podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was really good until the Canadian dollar went down. And then it was like, this is too expensive. Yeah, too much.

But it was some yummy stuff. They don't sponsor us, but I'll say try those dried pineapple chunks and anything pretzel. You had to pay every month. You didn't just pay at the beginning of the year and then they just send you. No, you pay a month. And then you can cancel at any time. Oh, I like that. I don't want to know what happens in December.

You just get December's. You just get this December one, But it's also his birthday. Am I over? If I was born one day earlier, I'd be getting completely different t-shirt ads. November rain. Memorial Day. Never forget. Never underestimate an old fan of, i don't know it's like yeah cool modi yeah yeah

steely dan a new fan of steely dan who was born in november um uh i was on a train this is the last train of the of the day i was this is a sky train this is a sky train okay and um of the day. This is a sky train? This is a sky train. And I don't know if you've ever been in a situation where. Thank you for the context. Where you've been with a group of people and then the person that you have in common has to leave and you're stuck with the other. This is why I'm bad at being a social person. Because sometimes. So that's what was happening on this train,

is the person that these two guys had in common got off, and they still had a couple more stops. And so they desperately were trying to make conversation. Remind me again how you know him? Yeah, yeah, exactly. And the one guy goes, well, it's just us. And the other one starts singing, just the two of us. And the other guy goes, what's that?

You have a beautiful voice. Oh, but I love that he was like, not familiar with that very famous reference. Hmm. Hmm. So I guess that's why we don't hang out. But he just sang it. Did he sing it so meekly? Yeah, he just sang it like,

like, oh, you'll, you'll join in because we, everybody knows this song. I nearly joined in and I wasn't even a part of it. Yeah. So Mike Trout was first pick

in both leagues? Both leagues. Did the leagues, how, like, did the second pick, were those the same? And how long did that? Are there any other baseball players that have fish names? Yes. Oh. There was Tim Salmon for a while.

That's cool. Yeah. Somebody Bass, maybe? Lance Bass? Bobby Largemouth? Yeah. Rod Tuna. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a fun one. Because rod is also a fishing word. Oh, sneaky little. You can't catch a tuna with a rod. No. I tell you, they're big boys. Are you a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish.

Do you fish? Not like as a regular thing in a way that you'd go, that's a weird hobby she has. Do you ever get smoked fish of the month clubs? Oh, I haven't been offered one, but I'd consider it. Yeah. Smoked meat in the mail. It's just jerky, right? I think so.

I think that's just some stinky mail. Well, you could send a vacuum pack of like something, like a Montreal smoked meat. Couldn't that be in dry ice, maybe? I don't know. I don't know how you send things. Blue Apron sponsored us for a month until they realized we can't get their products. And this month, no one's sponsoring us. So get on it.

That's the weird energy in here. They're pez. I can tell you a psychic blood. Yes, well, my parents are psychics. Now, we also have overheards sent in to us by people around the world. If you want to send one in to us, send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Nathan in Ottawa. I was walking through the grocery store earlier today, listening to music and grocery shopping.

That's true. I went to the grocery store to listen to music. I thought I might as well get some shopping done while I'm here. A mother was pushing her baby in a grocery cart close behind. At one point, I pulled off my headphone and heard her say to the kid, Well, I don't know what's for dinner because you ate mommy's list. That was your dinner. Wow. In your face, kid.

Tough love. Yeah, I shouldn't have written that list in such delicious mediums. Should have taught your kid not to eat lists. Still using a paper list. Oh, mom. Yeah. Maybe the kid ate her iPhone. That's true. Yeah. He the kid ate her iPhone. That's true.

Yeah. He can't get enough of these lists. He's hungry. He's an internet virus. My son is an internet virus. Help, he's a worm. Is that a movie? Would anybody see that?

My son is an internet virus? Yeah, but it ends up being dirty dancing for havana morning that's a good time to dance in havana yeah they did dirty dancing reboot right no i think they are doing no i think it's done and it happened and it went away oh really i think a lot of these reboots or like a sequel that comes out Oh really? I think a lot of these reboots Or like a sequel that comes out Zoolander years too late

They did a Footloose reboot They did do a Footloose reboot I feel like this Dirty Dancing one is still in the offing Because Footloose was Julianne Hough That's who I thought was in the

Dirty Dancing one And it was also Maya... Maya Rudolph? No, the guy from... She's in all of them. Miles Teller? Oh, really? He was in Footloose?

Yeah. Abigail Breslin. He was keeping off his Sunday shoes? Abigail Breslin as Baby. It's a TV movie. And did it come out already? It... It's coming out in 2017.

Aha! In the offing. Starring Abigail Breslin as Baby Houseman. Mm-hmm. Sarah Hyland from... American something? From The Family of Modern. American Family.

As Lisa Houseman? Mm-hmm. I don't remember that role. Maybe she was the one who died. Who plays Jerry Orbach? Who's CGI? Are they doing the thing like from Star Wars with Jerry Orbach? Who plays Patrick Swayze?

Here's who we have. Marjorie Hausman is the mom. Bruce Greenwood is Jerry Orbach. Who that? I don't know who that is. You know Bruce Greenwood. He's Canadian. He played JFK in 13 Days.

He plays Chris Pines' dad in... Are you freestyle rapping over there? Anyway, so this looks good. But who's the Swayze? Does it look good, Dave? No, no, of course not. You know who would be good Swayze in that? The guy who plays

Archie. What's your favorite? Tight body. Yeah, that's true. Tight. Except he needs to be older. You know what I mean? Wet body. He needs to be older. What's the Patrick Swayze character name? Corner. Boy. Baby. Baby boy. Dancing.

Danny. Is he Johnny Castle? Yeah, Johnny Castle. Well, that role is played by a man I've never heard of. Bruce Greenwald. Colt Pratt. Colt Pratt? Wow, he was born to play this role.

And according to IMDB, the thing he's most known for is a live pink concert. When he just went to one? He played himself. Fair enough. Wow. This next one comes from Kylie W. I was at a movie. How do you call your lover boy? Oh,

come here, lover boy. There you go. I was at a movie a couple weeks ago. I forgot for a second this is what happened. I had to remember how I call him. But you got there. I remember lover boy hello lover boy oh love a boy love a boy i help uh was that a movie it's okay we can get through this a couple weeks ago and there was a group of kids behind us that were definitely too young to be in that particular movie. There was probably five to six 12-year-old boys snickering and punching each other.

I was listening to them during the trailers because it was hilarious. And a fairly graphic trailer came on. They all went silent and watched the whole thing quietly. The title of the movie didn't come up until the very end of the trailer. It was called Below Her Mouth. In the beat of science following the title, one of the boys quietly, but very clearly, whispers down the row, What? Like her chin? Well, that's what I'm thinking.

I'm a grown man. I have two children. I've had sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Twice even. Well, debatable. I mean, all sex happens below the mouth, technically. No. Ebony, you from camp should know.

Yeah. You of all people should know. Yeah, but if you're going to make a baby, you've got to do it below the mouth. Yeah. I thought it was just, for a second, I thought it was just called blow her mouth. I thought it was too much. She'll hate it. Yeah.

Blow her mouth. Jesus. Like blowing in a dog's face, kind of that kind of thing. Oh, sure. Oh, yuck. Guys, I've got to admit, that whole time I was looking stuff up on my phone I don't remember a second of it Bruce Greenwood Who?

Colt Pratt Live pink concert This last one comes from Phil In Sydney, Australia I wonder if he was at that pink concert In Melbourne Walking back from the pub Behind a drunk couple

And I hear the girl say to her boyfriend So In Melbourne, walking back from the pub behind a drunk couple. And I hear the girl say to her boyfriend. So do you like think we're like Lego because we just fit together? Wow. Cute. Cute. So she took that many pauses when she said it. That's how it was written.

Love it. With the ellipses. Look, you think I make those type of bold acting choices? I do. No way. I believe in you. No. I believe in your craft. My wife and I are like duplo.

We fit together, but we're for clumsy little hands. What does that mean? I don't know. Dave, do we also have phoned in overheards? Yeah. This week, it's a rarity, but we have phoned in overheards. And if you want to phone us, use your phone to do it and call the number that is this number, which is 1-844-779-7631 or 1-SPYPOD1. That phone number is written on our website

at MaximumFun.org. Also, on every episode recap, if you want to send a snail mail, you don't have to write us and ask us for our address. The address is on that website, MaximumFun.orgorg on every episode recap. Okay, but enough about that. Wait, do you get a lot of snail mail? We get packages.

We get packages. Okay. Sometimes people send us something of the month club. Here come the phone calls. Hello, Dave Graham and portable guest. This is Nate Collins from Brooklyn with an overheard from a restaurant. This is Nate calling from Brooklyn with an overheard from a restaurant.

This was just a couple having a conversation a couple tables away from us and the one line that stuck out was who's your favorite Paul Reiser?

Mine is Selena Gomez. What does that mean? I don't know. That's a code. That's a fucking code. Everyone's in on it. Conspiracy, man. Because I was like, everybody could have a favorite era of Paul Reiser.

Get out of here. But your favorite. Get out. Get closer to the microphone. No, you've been telling me for months to stay away from the microphone. I just told you before this one to get closer. Oh, brother. Oh, boy.

Yoy. Should I boy. Yoy. Should I go? Yoy. What's your favorite era of Paul Reiser? Oh, couplehood. Duh! You do know the code. I like to...

Oh, no. I'm thinking. I got him confused with Steve Guttenberg for a second. Sure. What were you going to say your favorite Steve Guttenberg is? Oh, It Takes Two. No. I'm just kidding. What's that? My best Paul Reiser is Ali Guttenberg is. Oh, it takes two. No. I'm just kidding.

What's that? My best polarizer is Aliens, for sure. Oh, yeah, no, it takes two.

It takes two is where the very obviously sexually chemical couple Christy Alley and Steve Guttenberg get together and we all go, sure,

yeah, that makes sense. But was that, those weren't the stars? The 80s? No, it was the Olsen twins and them. Oh, okay. And, that makes sense. But was that, those weren't the stars? No, it was the Olsen twins and them. Oh, okay.

And Susan from Friends. Oh. Which one was Susan? Ross's baby mama? Ross's baby mama. Oh. And she was who in the movie? She was the bitchy fiance of Steve Guttenberg,

who was like, get Christy Alley out of here. And she did work at a summer camp. Why do I know this movie so well? We gotta move on. No, no, no. And the Olsen twins

are Steve Guttenberg's daughters? No, okay. So they're Olsen twins in some weird way that's never explained. They're like obviously identical twins who grew up on the

different side of the tracks. Separately? Oh, yeah. Yeah, one is Steve Guttenberg's daughter, I think. And one is Christy Alley. And one is an orphan that goes to Christy Alley's summer camp.

And then they meet and realize that they look alike and then conspire to get rid of Susan. Why does Christy Alley have her own summer camp? She's very outdoorsy. She's down to earth. Yeah, that's true. Which is exactly what Steve Guttenberg needs. And they have that song, it takes two, baby. Because if they don't, the whole thing is ruined. The whole thing is

pointless. Okay, here's your final second overheard. And we still have two more to go. Nailed that one. Hey, Dave and Graham, this is Kyle from Minnesota. Story check. I had an overheard that I thought you guys would like.

My wife was watching entertainment tonight in the bedroom and I went in there to get something, and right as I came in, I heard the woman say, you'll never guess who's stripping now. John Gosling. I wasn't gonna guess. From John and Kate plus eight? I was never gonna guess John from Kate plus eight. Now it's just Kate plus eight. Well, now it's just canceled plus zero. Yeah, now it's just, plus 8. Well, now it's just canceled plus zero.

Yeah, now it's just, oh, you guys made a mistake. Is that how they gave them the news? I'm sorry, but guess what your show is now? Canceled plus zero. I hate to give you the bad news, but your show's been canceled, and also your kids are dead. And also your... So now you're just K plus zero. So were they sextuplets plus two? Yeah. But they thought that title was too unwieldy.

Well, sextuplets plus two plus John and K. Yeah. That was the original title. And sometimes grandparents. Remember when John, when they divorced and John started hanging out with Christian Odigie? The guy who made Ed Hardy shirts? Oh, yeah. It makes sense that he's stripping now.

Yeah. The inventor of Ed Hardy shirts? Yeah. Yeah, I feel like. I always assumed that was Ed Hardy. Oh, yeah. Is Ed Hardy not a real, is he a fake? No, I think. Is he just Christian Odigie? No, Christian Odigie is dead now. Oh, yeah. Is Ed Hardy not a real... Is he a fake? No, I think Ed Hardy...

Is he just Christian Odigie? No, Christian Odigie is dead now. Oh, no. Sorry. So, zip it. Oh, whoops. He's been killed. His dead eight kids joke was fine, but I have insulted the true dead.

I think Ed Hardy was like a tattoo designer, like Sailor Jerry. Right. Right. Right. Yeah, and one got a rum out of the deal. The other one got crazy, bedazzled t-shirts. And they poured cocaine on one of the tattoos and it came to life. And that's how the shirt company existed. What I find strange is that your wife was in your bed watching Entertainment Tonight, which is on at 7 o'clock.

So she goes to, well, I guess she was in the bedroom yeah or maybe she was folding laundry maybe she deviated you know deviated get you caught up with her for the next two weeks she getting she getting out and now is she okay who i'm going to bed at seven with bob going who is that who hosted who hosted no bob going hasn't hosted he He was the Tash replacement. He died with Christian Adesia. Who hosted now? It's not Mary Hart. Oh, it's Kelly, Kathy, Odell.

Kelly, Kelly, Claire. Someone Odell. Nancy Odell. Candy. It's not Marina Menounos. It's Kevin Frazier is there. Her mouth is full of nonsense. What do you mean?

Kevin Frazier. Like you Her mouth is full of nonsense. What do you mean? Kevin Frazier. Like you're describing a dreamy. Sometimes Kevin Frazier's there. It's a lot of, you know, it's a TV host used to wear ties. They still wear suits, but now the ties, the collars are open. Yeah, yeah. What's happening to you?

To me? What's happening to? To entertainment tonight. Yeah, what's happening to entertainment tonight? Here's your final overheard. Hello, Dave and Graham and guests. This is Hans from Seagaff in the Niagara region. And I just overheard a few neighborhood boys that were walking by here. And they were saying, well, that's just irresponsible for a man to set your penis on fire.

I did not hear anything else, but that was good enough. Oh boy, that's man 101. That's irresponsible. Yeah, yeah. Wait, was it, that's just irresponsible for a man to set your penis on fire?

Oh, that's true. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I guess, I assumed it was, I didn't consider. I assumed it was one's penis. Yeah, yeah. A man to set his penis on fire, sure. Or a comedian to set her penis on fire.

His penis on fire. This song's been lighting penises on fire across the country. It's dick on fire. Well, this has been some hot nonsense. This was a lot of fun. Thank you for coming. Oh, thank you for having me. I always have a great time.

And your book will be out in the fall. Yeah, it is good. I promise. I made it sound bad before, but it's going to be really good. It'll be out in time for Christmas or Hanukkah. Yeah. Am I pronouncing that right? Yeah, you're pronouncing it right.

Like a real December baby would. Don't underestimate this old fan of Tribe Called Quest. My birthday is sometimes during Hanukkah or, as the Tribe Called Quest fans know, Kwanzaa. Kwanzaa. Quest fans know. Kwanzaa. Kwanzaa. And where can people find you online if they want to find... They can find me at ateminyrosen on Twitter.

They can find me at... Is it still at for Instagram? Yep. Ateminyrosen on Instagram. There you are. And then I just sort of lost the threads of social media, so I don't have any more. That's fine. And then I just sort of lost the threads of social media, so I don't have any more. That's fine.

And they can follow your fantasy baseball in maybe a Yahoo League or something. Yeah, I got one ESPN, one Yahoo, so I like to keep it bipartisan. Yeah, reach across the aisle. Yeah. And for those of you out there that enjoy the podcast, head over to MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recap. Pictures and videos of the things we talked about on this show. Bruce Greenwood.

Colt Pratt. We're not going to put two things from the same project. We might put the It trailer. If you don't put a picture of Colt Pratt, I will never come back. Well, okay. Oh, shut up.

Called my bluff. Called your bluff. Called your bluff. Yeah, called your Prats. You are the dumbest today. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Well, thank you for being a guest.

Thank you for listening to the show. If you like the show. Oh, come see us in Toronto on July 8th. Yeah. Oh. Are tickets available? Lord knows. And Dave is going to be a guest on Quiz Show on May 12th at the Fox Cabaret here in Vancouver.

And Graham is going to be... When are you... Are you going to Fringe Festivals yet? In July. In July. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'll be in the Toronto.

I'll be in the Winnipeg. I'll be in the Edmonton. What's this show this year? It's called Graham Clark's Not Here. And it's real weird. I know about this one. Yeah. Still writing it.

So, you know, we'll see. You know what that's like. You've written a book. Oh, yeah. You've written a whole book it's so good uh and thanks for listening if you like the show please do tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.