Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 479 - Dino Archie

Episode Date: May 22, 2017

Comedian Dino Archie returns to talk parallel parking, Fargo, and Canadian film.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 479 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man whose dream destination, if he had to pick one place in the world to go on a nice relaxing holiday, would be...

Yeah, we didn't talk about this. No. Panama. Mr. Dave Shook. about this. No. Panama. Mr. Dave's show. Puerto Rico. Yeah. Panama. I don't know.

They got that... That Ben Halen song I love. Yeah, they got that canal. Oh, sure. A man planned that canal. They have those hats. It's all the things you like. Yeah, okay.

From Halen to hats. The Panama story. and our guest today a very funny comedian it's been too long too long right yeah i mean that i mean that last been on the podcast a very funny comedian mr dino archie thank you man i miss you i miss your people. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, tell me about my people. Your people have a lot of digital graphic people who do computers. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, woke. You have a very woke.

Oh, yeah. Oh, do we? I think so. I'd say so. We try to keep it woke. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Let's get to know us.

Yep. Get to know us. Now, since you were last here, were you, speaking of woke, last time you were here, were you swole? Yeah. I think I might have been a little hub. Yeah. I don't know if I was swole, but I may have been a little hub. Okay.

All right. What's hub? I don't know where it came from, but it's another word for swole. Oh, okay. I don't know what. You're swole, you're hub. Hub.

I think this sounds, somebody must have like looked at a guy in jail and was like, hey dog, you hub. And then that guy killed that guy. We were in jail, they were just friends. And he goes, thanks man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks for spying on me. We're both hub now. Why were just friends. And he goes, thanks, man. Thanks for swatting me.

We're both up now. Why do you got to go so naked? The warden's been riding my ass. You're looking up. What do you see? So, Dino, I follow you on Instagram. That's mostly where I learn about your life. I posted too many pictures yesterday.

Oh, that's not what I was going to jump ahead. But I feel like the last time you were here, it was maybe right at the beginning of it. You don't really do it much anymore. But you on Instagram critique people's parallel parking. Oh, yeah. And it's very entertaining. Oh, man. Okay.

All right. parallel parking. Oh, yeah. And it's very entertaining. Oh, man. Okay. All right. And it's to the point where if I see

a really bad parallel parking job, I instantly think of you. Oh, yeah. I became synonymous. Is that the word?

Yeah, because I became anonymous. Yeah, you became anonymous. Yeah. If you see a really good parallel parking job, you don't notice. Well, that's the key

to a good parallel parking job. Yeah, that's the thing. If you see someone doing it really well job you know you don't notice well that's the key to a good parallel you i yeah that's the thing you see someone doing it really well you know yeah you catch somebody in the act but then also i've seen some parallel parking job like that they already stationed and i'm like and this is nice like it's like a detective i feel feel like I could remove in my head the cars. I can picture how they got in. Oh, yeah, like that's your specific talent. He can sense how the parallel parking happens. Yeah, I can look at myself. Have you ever seen the show Hannibal before it was canceled?

It's like that. I get in the car, and I was like, yeah, he looked over the left shoulder. Two cars were coming. You could tell from the tires, marks right there, they hit the brakes and he said, like I get it.

So you're like a parking enforcement officer who can get into the mind of people, how people park. You're the bone collector of parking. I love this show.

I think I'm gonna pitch it. Yeah, please. Because I gotta do, you know, in LA, you gotta do how to pitch me. Yeah, you gotta do a lot of pitch meetings so pitch your real idea

then pitch that I do have this joke idea that's the snake oil though you gotta go to a bunch of pitch meetings even if you got no story so it's just kind of fun and you go what about a show about a guy who's pitching a show

yeah and a mug You go, what about a show about a guy who's pitching a show? Yeah. A mug. A bottle of water. Yeah. You go, you see a poster, as good as it gets. Think as good as it gets. Mug. He goes, that.

There, look at the poster. As good as it gets, too. It got better. That is a good tagline for that movie that is good and that was a good move i used to fall asleep to that movie oh yeah in high school okay i think that's what it is and i made love to it in college sorry i probably did but i realize i'm aging because of the movie references sure Sure. Yeah. That's my whole life is all movie. So what, what's your,

uh, go to like, what's the best parallel parking in the movie? Oh yeah. Is it Charlize Theron in, uh, Italian job? Yeah.

Yeah. When she did that, there's some stuff in, uh, in gone in 60 seconds. That was pretty bad. Yeah. They had some real deal.

Fast and Furious, they're all willy-nilly. They're all over the place. Yeah, they just leave their cars wherever. They should call it the willy and the nilly. Hey, I'm a bitch now.

I'm not everything. I'm just kind of still. Two willy, two nilly. He's willy, he's nilly. They don't know how to park. Yeah, but they push it to the limit it's about family for them first there's a good

in the Woody Allen movie take the money and run he like describes a nightmare he has where he's being carried on a cross and then they try to parallel park the cross, and then another cross sneaks in. That's good.

Yeah, that's good stuff. That's a good parallel parking. Are you a good parallel parker? I am, man. That was the thing that started that. What birthed that? Now, did you learn to drive on a standard? Man, my buddy, my Canadian friend, tried to teach me on a standard or i i man i my buddy my canadian friend tried to

teach me on a standard oh really yeah and uh this is in high school and i was like uh i don't know what i'm doing right i can't do all these things at once i just didn't have that it's easy for a lot of people i just didn't i can't play the drums either you know what i mean like i feel like it's all yeah whenever you got a coordination yeah yeah but i could play basketball which is weird i was very coordinated yeah but i couldn't do sticks can you dribble with both hands yeah yeah so can you spin a ball on your finger no i can't do that okay you got me no i can't i can't do it either but you started dancing like you could do it i can maybe do my thumb a little bit yeah so uh because i haven't parallel parked in quite some

time so right you don't drive yeah so i don't know if my but back in the day i think it was really good at it but does it go away you drive the time, so you wouldn't be the right guy to ask. No, no. Um, I think it, you know, like it depends on the car though,

too. That's why I would post those. I would brag about that. Yeah. That was the only thing I'm like, look, I'm good at this. But the,

who's at some point you're, I'm lying to you people. If I don't tell you how good I am. And you're hiring your light under a bushel. That's right. Yeah. Let it shine. Let it shine.

Right. Right. So I put, I would like, I rent a different car every week because that was my lifestyle. Man. Sure. Boy, oh boy, that sounds cool. No, no, no. It's unstable and expensive.

That's all that is. I was renting different cars. And so every week it was a different car and one time they gave me like this dodge ram 850 wow payload you know 10 000 thing they told me is 10 000 payload i was like i'll take it i don't fucking need that i need to know because i'm going to a comedy club. In the country or the city? The heart of the city. I mean, if it's got a good payload, I might go over some rocks.

I don't know. Yeah, so I parked this Dodge. I was like, it was sweet, man. I was like, this is too good. And I turned the rim, the wheels, the front wheels, just a little bit up depending on if you're uphill or down there or if you just want to stunt uh-huh if you just whatever sure whatever there's yeah you know you can take liberties you know just like salt that's all yeah that's all guy yeah yeah when i get it i feel good. It just made me feel alive again. I just wanted to hold on to that.

So I put it out there, man, and people started to get blinded. Yeah, I can see why. Because my thing is I'm a decent parallel parker. I'd say I have like a 90% average. Nice. Yeah. Like maybe 1 in 10 I have to redo. And you're also a very% average. Nice. But I, I, yeah, like maybe one in 10, I have to redo. And you're,

but you're also a very smooth parallel Parker. Oh, you know, lots of people are very like, nah, that's the herky, herky, jerky,

jerky. Yeah. But the, the way I'm the worst is if there's an audience, like if I'm parking somewhere and there's like a patio of people. Oh, so that's where you having drinks outside. That's where I shot.

Oh, like, like, I'm not saying, I'm not saying I'm bad, people oh so that's where you having drinks outside see that's that's where i shot oh like i'm not saying i'm not saying i'm bad but that's where i like well oh yeah there is no audience i almost feel like robbed right when the heat is on i go like let's let something happens in me i go it's like i i've never really made it in basketball so i feel like we know not a good drummer and yeah we get it all right so this is what i i feel like when i i bark dope like that i feel like i like just dunked on somebody yeah and i was like i'm it i'm doing it right now i remember uh back at the uh comedy club down in kitzelano the urban well there was the urban well and across the street there was a like a patio and there was this one night when it was a woman and she was just having the hardest time doing a parallel park and it

became like a block party like everybody like the club empty everybody was watching and then when she yeah what parallel bargain is some so small that brings it that brings people like together like almost together when you see like somebody who's like, it's like their third attempt here. Yeah, we started it. And then everybody's got expertise. Like, do I? Yeah, it's hilarious. I think it's like the last North American human interaction that's genuine.

Right to where you're minding your fucking business and you're walking down the street you go what's this monster doing hey buddy are you saying that three people sitting around recording a podcast is not a genuine interaction yeah man this is the one where you just like everyone's in on it and you want the person to do good and then everyone just goes oh yeah no one's rooting against you nah This is the one where you just like everyone's in on it and you want the person to do good. And then everyone just goes. Oh, yeah. No one's rooting against you.

No, no, no. The one. Unless you unless you stopped rush hour, you piece of shit. Yeah. And you now you're doing you're coming in at the sharp angle. It's going to take all day. Then it's like, man, I want, you know, boo him. Yeah, boo.

Just keep driving. Yeah. Everyone starts honking the horn. When everyone starts laying the horn, it's not them. It's not a horn of applause. It's hard to honk your approval. I mean, there's sort of like a... That's a good one.

Yeah, that's a good one. That's a fun one. Yeah, guys will honk their approval. Yeah, look at Karacha. That's a good one. That's what guys will honk a fun one yeah guys will yeah look at Karacha that's a good one that's what guys would hug their car sometimes

wait a minute right remember that yeah and they would they go like beep beep or just one yeah

like one like what's the technique of of uh what's that word like to let honking no cat calling

oh yeah yeah cause that's what that's what the honker was for oh yeah that's right just like beep beep

I feel like beep beep was how you honk at a lady back in the day they were like and it has this thing that makes a sound when you see a pretty lady

yeah but now that's sort of like the automatic sound that some of them make when you lock them. It's just like a little. Yeah. Yeah.

I have a goose in my car. Goose going through puberty. Do it again. Right before the prom, too. Now, so you've been all all over the globe every time i speaking of your instagram every time i see a photo of you online london what is your instagram by the way yeah the name of it uh dino the beloved there it is oh thanks man um i saw but yeah you've been all all over the place and uh how have your travels been man this

this yeah these goofs and spoofs man they've been taking me to places i never thought i'd be you know it's really funny man it it actually is because i've been doing this what 10 almost 10 years now yeah and like before i did comedy is when I like did stuff. And like, I think I went to, I went to Poland to see my brother. Then I do comedy. And it's like,

you're in this jail just doing, telling jokes. And then it's like, now I'm traveling again and telling goofs. So, Oh, you've married. You're out of jail.

Yeah. Like, so like go to this city and tell these jokes. You're out of joke jail. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm just. Like, so, like, go to this city and tell these jokes and shut the fuck up. Yeah, yeah. And go home. Like, that's crazy. That's, I can't keep that up. So, it's been cool, man. I've been making sure that, like, when I hit these places to, like, you know, Laverne and Shirley the City.

Like, just, it's like an intro to the, yeah. You do this. You skip around. I'm on a tandem bike, but it's like intro to the yeah you do you skip around i'm on a tandem bike but it's just me sure in norway you waving some bottles yeah you go to a beer factory yes yes yeah man let's get out there and live life man that's really cool it's it man yeah so that that was really cool it was you know and it was really interesting because, I mean, like most countries, but this one, like everybody, they look like Vancouver, you know. This is Norway? Norway, Oslo, but everyone spoke Norwegian. Right.

So all the comics did their set in Norwegian. The crowd's laughing in Norwegian. Norwegian's laughs sound different. No, ho, ho. Ho, ho. Ons, ons, ons. And they're doing their thing,, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, and they're doing their thing, and their comics are doing good too, even though I don't know what they're saying, but you can see the rhythm, you can see each comic was like, kind of like, you're like,

oh, that's kind of like, that's a Louis C.K. type comic. Oh, yeah, yeah, he's like, oh,

he's pointing at his, he's like, oh, I'm a piece of shit. This kind of guy. I go, okay, I see i see and then it was every comment was different and funny and then i went up and they were like you know they go yeah we know what you're saying it was almost like you don't have they have the drop on you yeah because you don't you don't know so you're like on your heels a little bit but then it was just like hey i came all this way let's now are you the only person on the show doing it in english yeah oh wow yeah huh yeah so that's

think about that for a week you feel like everyone's a spy or something well i'd be worried that like uh the person ahead of me did all the topics. That's exactly. So it's like, you really have to double down on you. Right. And just go, this is the most me shit. It ain't going to be some outside, you know,

right. Obstruct peanut butter, you know, cause it's like that. You go, that do the last three. That last guy had a jar of it on stage. I don't know be great jokes.

I was like, nah, man, I'm going to talk about me. I did a story about acid, doing acid, but it's a love story. And I just was like, this is what I did. And when I got in the groove, people were just doing a Norwegian laugh. And we were cooking, man. We were cooking, man. We were cooking, baby. Now, did you do stuff of like, I'm a new person in your country and these are the weird things I've noticed? I sprinkled a little bit of that.

Some countries love it. Some countries don't. They don't go in for that kind of shenanigans. Where don't they love it? They don't love it in London. They't they love it they don't love it in London they don't love it in the UK very much they're like we know we know what we are but in Canada

oh we love it talk about waves coffee he's been to our coffee shop yeah I think it's Norway they're the same too because they're like you know they didn't want to hear no bullshit about how expensive stuff is or how cold it is there but if you you know any kind of genuine uh experience i have is mine so i could say it so i was just like i kind of was you know goofing

with him about how i was like you guys don't you're not much for small talk you know they're not small talk so something specific and then they're like they just get yes no buses outside fuck you and i was like and everyone's like yeah that's us and i was like oh okay you know what i mean like yeah i don't know if this observation but it isn't just like some uh broad stroke right ikea right reference you know it's like you guys you people as are like this a little bit but i don't can't judge you i just met you but you're not that friendly but i get it because blah blah blah and that shit was funny so people were commenting on they go we'm glad if you do it we're glad you're not doing some bullshit like uh yeah yeah yeah no because yeah you're wasting people's time yeah you didn't go out there in a viking hat

because i think that's pretty did leave a lot of money on the table yeah you can remind me now i wish you wouldn't um because no other comics talk about game with i heard game of thrones you hear a english word and you're like oh okay you know a hitler oh yeah everybody probably hear hitler man oh man i love it yeah have you been to norway no i've been to sweden and denmark so the adjacent yeah yeah uh and they're very that it's a lot like here in the the no small talk the is like people yes are i love it because i don't want small talk yeah i just want to like a polite nod yeah yeah yeah yes yes no i totally i could see it that's how i felt like it was like there's some hint of

vancouver because they're not rude no but they're not warm right and that warm takes a lot of time that takes yeah especially if it's not the genuine and stuff and it's like i haven't been talking to people during travel right will's travel i'm a piece of shit i think like what do you mean like hey where you from nowhere i'm from no parts unknown i was born on the plane hey move it along buddy yeah yeah like hey yeah. I'm like, hey, I got a five-hour layover. How about I just waste this time? How about we become friends from now? No, no.

Move it along. I'm Tom Hanks in the terminal. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I'm in airports all the time. And I'm just like, man, I don't want these bullshit, meaningless interactions. And then if it's a genuine cool conversation then great yeah i put that up too online like some stupid life hack i was like if if i go will's traveling you don't have to speak to him you don't have to have a conversation right and i just said that and

then like people was like yeah then there was one guy there's one guy. There was always one guy. Yeah, it was like, well, I think. Yeah, he goes, although, they always have an although. He's like, man, I stopped listening so long ago. However, you could find some of the best people

through conversation. Doubtful. Blah, blah. Hey, you maniac, how crazy is your life? You're just going around like a guy looking for silver on the beach

trying to find a fucking friend in an airport? Are you nuts? Yeah. I'm not crazy, man. Yeah, I think my kind of policy, the airplane chatter, is if somebody's chatting before all the kind of announcements and stuff, to me stuff. That's fine. That's to me, that's fine. Conversation time.

Yeah. But then once, once we're talking in the previews, I'm not going to turn over and give you a dirty look. Yeah. But, but like once we're in air business, yeah,

no more. It's me and my magazine. Like, yeah, it's okay to just be like oh yeah it's so cold here i can't wait to get to where it's not or vice right right see yeah i get scared man because it's like who ends it you gotta hope that they more often than not it's me who right you gotta hope they don't keep that mojo going. Because if you ask the wrong question, then the announcement stops. They're like, we're ready for the flight. They go, well, so it's funny you brought that up.

Because I just came from there. And you're just like, I've gone deaf. Oh, no. Oh, well, I guess I just can't talk to you. I took a sleeping pill. I'm sorry. I'm going to pass out. It's a 40 minute flight.

Yeah. So you went to Norway. You were in London. London. Yeah. London was dope, man. London was fun. Did you do shows there?

Yeah. Yeah. I did some shows. And how do you find it? Man. Bingo. Bingo. You find it? Bingo bango. That's a good review. That was a solid review.

Yeah, that was good, man. Because I did a small club. No, they parallel park on the other side of the street. Yeah, I wanted to get into that mix. I was like, I don't know what the hell i'm doing this would be exciting you know uh did you drive over there i didn't i didn't it was just so scary it's scary across the street because

you're used to looking the opposite direction yeah yeah totally i've driven over there and it's so scary yeah i almost got hit by a bus like four times. Yeah, yeah. Single, double duck. Double. Oh, yeah. Getting run over in the big city. But yeah, it's like, because they're all about the... Base? Well, yeah, I guess.

Yeah. But the traffic circles over there and nobody from over here kind of knows. Yeah, how to get down. Yeah. The traffic circle get down. Yeah. Do you know? Do you understand traffic circle?

Because I understand that. I know you got a yield. I know. I usually yield. I'm not a, I just yield. You'll just yield and just be like, well, I guess I'm not getting wherever I'm going. I think it's here. It's the only thing in traffic where the person on the left has the right of way.

Right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. You're right. But although in Britain, the left is the right. And they go like they'll drive around and around in these things and we only have

single lane ones they yeah you need to get from the inner lane to the outer lane to get out oh man yeah no i didn't want to deal with all that math yeah and so i did i just took the tube yeah took the tube and the gap and um the thing about london is it's so big right you're my calves like my shins were hurting right yeah two days because it was your hub i'm i'm hub but i wasn't a hub yeah i just got off this injury and i was like man this is i like this city but god damn it takes for it this is a journey yeah yeah oh yeah but it's it's cool man it's london it's like you know i just think about because i was watching the tutors that series for some reason so then my idea was because it's critically acclaimed that's is that about the

family that farts so that's the tutor that's a fun that's a fun that's a fun kids yeah yeah so i was just thinking about like kings and peasants and that was my idea of london which it still is yeah so that it was just that idea was just like so fascinating to me and then you know now i'm in these pubs and they go to pubs at 600 years old and i was like yeah i guess that math makes sense yeah yeah people been doing this shit here for so long that it made me excited to go like, Oh man.

All right, cool. They, they still, you guys still care about shows. They've been putting on shows for centuries. Yeah. Well,

yeah. Shakespeare, my good boy. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I'm tired of this shit. Nah,

man. They love plays. Oh, it's true. They love it. And, and that's what i thought was cool because it's a uh here you you know you gotta beg people and pay them and shit and bother

them and extort them to come to the show and remind them and remind them yeah just bully them and do it there was like line up out the door yeah you know and they go just give what you want on the way out and so it was just like oh yeah i like this crowd was hungry yeah and they're they and that's what i noticed too they the other countries want to prove how woke they are so they they they don't want to they're not you don't they're you say something they're not gonna be like let's eat they're like oh yeah yeah yeah we we know what's up right we know what's happening in the states or whatever you know you do a trump joke and they're like oh yeah yeah yeah we yeah they

were you know they talk about talk about the syrian the sanctions you know they like like no i'm not i don't know i don't know yeah yeah yeah the bbc about fiscal ball yeah do your planned parenthood we're woke we're woke bullies. Yeah. So, no, it was fine, man. I had a good time. I, you know, my whole thing was just try to be my, be myself and see if these, if these peasants and kings would get it. And they, you know, they were like, yeah, this shit's funny.

So it made me want to go, you know, do that kind of Edinburgh. You've done Edinburgh. I have. Have you guys done the podcast? No no would you do it is that a thing that would make sense i don't know you have to do a bunch yeah you'd have to do to make it just work yeah financially but uh we yeah we would we'd go well well i mean we haven't talked about it. Yeah, I mean. Okay. Theoretically. Theoretically. Yeah. Guys, I want to manage you. We're listening.

How, and you went to Edinburgh. Yeah, we've talked. Yeah, I went twice. That's right. The first time was okay. And then the second time, it really got my ass handed to me. In which, like, audience participation? Yeah, because I think if you go there the first year, you got that mystique.

Nobody knows who you are, so you get a lot of reviews. And you got a lot of people coming out because they want to be, you know, so weird. They want to discover something. Yeah, they want to say I saw it, you know, before it became big or whatever. Okay. And the second time, like, I saw thought and it's still not bad yeah yeah yeah

and i'm mad at this yeah it's so big yeah unless you like really uh really really knocked it out of the park that first time the second time is a bit uh but it's a lot of fun right right i like yeah i want to do it at least once yeah it's just it's a big commitment because you're there for a whole month and you're doing shows every day even if only four people show up yeah gotta do the show and they like you want to talk about an audience that will not show how woke they are about anything they're asleep like they will not meet you halfway on anything if they don't like it.

But I think you do very well. At what point did you ever, like, give up during a show? I mean, not give up. I mean, stop fighting. You know what I mean? No, I never did. Just go on autopilot?

No, no, no, no. No more so, like, if they're not embracing what you're saying, just be like, not autopilot, like mailing it in, but just more like, I'm going to go rogue. I'm going to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I'm going to just do. You're not buying what I'm selling.

You're not buying this snake oil. So let me grab this other bottle. Yeah. Of my own. Let me do my old show that got reviews. So that's the good thing about going there for the first time, because you're basically just doing your act. And so if the audience isn't buying it, you can switch to another gear.

But then if you go with a show that's just like a one. Oh, it's stuck in his theme. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you can't just go, man, fuck this. Yeah. I'm doing a different show. Yogurt's weird.

Yeah, I'm doing the whole series of Breaking Bad. One Man Breaking Bad. One Man Breaking Bad. Yeah. That's why I'm, yeah, that's what's making me a little bit like

hesitant about going. Not even really that, but just more like if i if i'm doing something and the crowd is like man this this ain't it it's like why am i watching a 60 minute parallel parking hannibal yeah he's talking about It's on the wrong side of the road. From what I know. Right, and I'm just like sweating. I'm like, um, but the funny thing is, then the lady, she pops out. I can't come out. I'm like, look, no one's buying this. I got some other funny stuff.

So as good as it gets, eh? Yeah, I got plenty of stuff for you cause right when you do a comedy it's such a fucking it's a funny it's cool because it's like you know like you don't have to change people's minds right you just

that's a plus if that happens but it's just like hey man this is what I think is funny right and I hope you do too yeah and I've tested it out i'm not i'm a professional that's just my approach now and eventually i'll be gone so yeah yeah yeah i don't know if that's the right we're not in this forever like we're not you just have to watch a few minutes of it yeah and if And if you listen, it's good stuff.

I don't know. I don't know what it is. People say it's good. It's not even for me. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Anyway, if you don't like it, that's fine. But yeah, it's also weird because, like, you might get a time slot that's not the night

time. So you may be doing your show every day at 3 p.m. And then you're just like, you guys don't like comedy at all. You're in afternoon mode. Just thinking about ice

cream the whole time. Yeah, that's all I think about. And they're just looking outside. They're looking at the sun while you're playing. i'm like why do i leave the windows open in this theater you can go out there no no i'll stay i'll be grudgingly yeah he goes i'll stay begrudgingly yeah everybody's having so much fun outside yeah like it's the whole idea is supposed to be a good time this shit is stressful man it shouldn't be so i'm i'm getting in a man i'm that's what i'm working on man it was like i'm gonna travel now which is great

because you go i want to be a traveling comedian and you go okay now i'm doing that but it's like man just traveling sucks yeah you're like i gotta get i gotta get oh yeah you go that's that's something's not calibrated right there. That's not fair. I'm like, so I got the fun back into it. Good. So I was like, yeah, man. Except when the airport trip, I'm a Nazi. I'm a bad guy.

When anybody shows up late, right? Adults. Adults. Who don't know. Who don't know the computer. They still don't know. Who don't know the computer. They still don't know. And the water. Yeah.

I mean, a guy who works at the airport is silently just sitting there just boiling. And I'm like, look, man, get your shitty energy away from me. Get up an hour earlier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get there. Or think back to the last time you were at an airport. You're allowed to take as many trays as you want you don't have to cram everything into one yeah you want to be so frantic that can't be a good way to live because i'm i just met you stranger and i hate your energy right yeah yeah not because i'm a hateful person just because

your life's unorganized yeah Yeah. And now you need to make us all feel that shit. You know, cutting in line and bludgeoning and all this negativity and I'm just like,

I realize that's the part that was pissing me off because as soon as I get to the hotel, I'm like, oh, hotel. Yeah,

well, yeah, I get to tell jokes now. That's fun, you know. But the, I was behind a lady, this was not that long ago who was having a fit because she said it took so long to get through security

yeah yeah security loves hearing that tell it to the judge so yeah and the security person was like well as a matter of our policy we time all of our interactions so i know exactly how long you've been here so it was like seeing somebody being like your honor i'd like to submit this evidence and then just seeing it shot yeah i was like oh that's so sweet yeah it's like a woman was like i've been here for 12 minutes and i'm like i've been behind everyone here for seven so yeah that i think about that too it's like what are the like I try to get beyond

if I have the time beyond the superficial complaint and go what is this person really asking for in life

I like special treatment yeah yeah well yeah why do you why does time not apply to you

you weirdo and why does this why do you think these people give a fuck? They only listen in because they have the uniform, and they're getting paid. They don't want to talk to you. I remember once I said this kind of exact same complaint. I was like, well, how do people not know about the water and all the things? And then somebody made me feel bad because they were like, well, not everybody flies all the time like you. And I was like, I felt bad. But then I was like,

if I was flying for my first time, I'd show up early. Yeah. You can't get around that. I don't, that's, yeah. And it's been 10 years of the liquid. Oh, yeah. Like, even if you fly twice a year,

you should know. And then, okay, let's do that then. This is your first time flying. First time flying. Why? How are you not amazed? Yeah. Why are you so naked?

Yeah. Why are you not like, holy shit. Like, so we're going to get on that thing and be in the air? Yeah, like we're in this crazy building that, like, nothing looks like an airport but an airport. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. airport, but an airport. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. You're not a beloved.

Yeah. You're just a fucking first time piece of shit. You're a goon. You're a goon. You're a goon, yeah. Yeah. That's a bad goon. A bad goon.

Just go in there and just, which I like sometimes too. Yeah, that's a bad goon. A bad goon just going in there. Which I like sometimes, too. So it's hard. It's weird. This idea of judging and being your own judge and accepting people and judging others silently. Yeah. You're on my team. That's what it says in the Bible.

Judge everybody in your own head. Well, the Bible didn't have lineups. No! There are no lineups in the Bible. People just knew. Graham, sometimes you remind me of this. What is the name of the place, like there's a bench that you go in the airport in Heathrow? In London Heathrow, for a long time, where you had to take your shoes off to go through security and then the bench where

everybody puts their shoe back on had a sign that said it was the shoe repatriation area. So that was like the word for putting your shoes back on. You're being reunited with your...

Wow. I was like, that's a real nice way to put that. You're being reunited with your... Wow. Yeah. I was like, that's a real nice way to put that. Yeah, yeah. They're putting just a real stake on that. That's like, they're selling the sizzle and not the steak. Yeah. There's a fine guy making a lot of money. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Repository iteration. Yeah. What? Don't worry, it's a word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Repository iteration. Yeah. What? Recurrent. Don't worry. It's a word. Yeah. I assure you.

That's cool. Yeah. So that's, well, it's nice to have you back. Man, it's good to be back with you guys, man. I miss you guys, man.

I miss, you know, funny people and good people in the city. You guys are the best. You guys are like the stewards of the city. You guys are the best. You guys are like the stewards of the city. You're like Rod Stewart. Yeah, we're like the Rod Stewart's of the city.

Dave, what's going on with you? Well, I've been Rod Stewart-ing around the house. Looking at my body. Do I think it's sexy? Yeah. It's a baby yesterday though. Yeah. Trying to find myself on the right side of the scale um i uh

having the second uh baby yeah has made it very hard to binge watch things like we can make we maybe carve out an hour to watch a thing together sure a day do you like watching it that are you do you like watching it that way we Do you like watching it that way? We have no choice. We can't keep up now. It's gotten to be annoying where there's two or three things that we just don't know what we're going to watch next.

You're all caught up on your Peppa Pigs and your Daniel Tigers. And the Tio the bus. They all take over everything. So they get to watch all the shows. Yes. Over and over.

All the shots. But we've been watching we're finally almost wrapped up on season two of Fargo. Oh yes. Have you watched this? I have. I haven't had a chance. Season three has started.

Yeah. But season two is great. Yeah. It's got Kirsten Dunst. Yeah. I'm still in love with her. Oh, after all these years. Apparently.

Yeah. She's not even a nice person in the show. No. There's nothing warm about her. Her pants are unattractive but she apparently uh the guy i guess that plays her husband they're engaged in real life yeah oh wow they met on set and it's a it's a connection i hope i hope that it works you know what i like i do like her man i like her i just didn't like her character in um spider-man oh yeah maybe it isn't her but i don't read comic books so i know that

the comic books the movies uh have to be close to the character yeah i just don't like that yeah she's fine i forget what her whole deal was i just remember spider-man kissed her upside down in the rain it was when she tried to make her new dude like her old dude. She's like, kiss me upside down. Oh, really? That was so unfair. Was that the third Spider-Man movie? I know. Very unfair.

That's fucking not cool. If I did that, that's just so slime. Yeah. I don't like it when the old Spider-Man used to kiss me upside down. What do you want i don't like when like movie sequels have breakups in them like like you have to follow it like oh that's season four of friends or whatever yeah yeah those two weren't dating but these two were yeah totally is she dating Dr. Octopus?

He said, no, no, no. He goes, no, she just went out on a date with the Hobgoblin. That was a fling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She just was confused. But that's a very good point, the upside down kiss thing. It's like, stop trying to recreate it. The most iconic moment in his history.

Yeah, that's like Rose or Pearl River, the Titanic going on another boat and be like hold me like this. No, not even a boat, but just like the balcony of a fucking apartment. Just always with the balcony this lady. Oh, brother. And she goes, did your ex

use to do this shit? No,, no, no, just for her. No, no, no, I just like this. Do you paint? Trying to make me Jack. Yeah. Let me be me. Yeah,

she's good, though. Yeah, she's good. Oh, boy. Got that, you know, bring it on. It was great. Bring it on. Recently, that one she was in with Cisco was really good. Oh, boy. Got that, you know, bring it on. It was great. Bring it on.

Recently, there was. That one she was in with Cisco was really good. Oh, the prom. Go to the prom. Yeah. Prom movie. They just, it was like the anniversary of her doing a cover of the song Turning Japanese. What?

Kirsten Dunst? Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten Dunst? Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten Dunst? Yeah, she did a video for it where she's like running around in downtown Tokyo and she's dressed like I don't know, Harajuku girl?

She sings it? Yeah, she sings it. She wasn't like Lindsay Lohan or one of these singing actresses. No, but it was part of some exhibition and she covered the song and it was

being passed around this week and I was like, huh. It was just one of those things. Like, nope, didn't know that existed. That's cool. Yeah. So I'm getting the word out. Yeah. Oh, boy. Well, I'm going to check it out before I am in love with it. Yeah. So the show has her on it.

You're talking about Fargo. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's weird, like, to have one of your old crushes show up on a good show. Yeah, that's true. I haven't seen season three yet, but it's got Ewan McGregor. Not that he was a crush, but he was. Well, hey, you know, I wouldn't follow you. I am, right?

You shoot for the moon. Yeah. It looks like season three is a little goofy because he plays two characters, and one of them, like, once you do two characters, it's a little Norbit. Yeah. Yeah. Although, honestly, like like when i first saw the trailer for the first season and i saw billy bob thornton with his haircut i was like

here we go oh boy and then yeah there's something about a cartoonish you know character that just takes you out when it out of it yeah someone who's just over the top yeah yeah there was oh what's the uh who's the guy that we were talking a couple weeks ago that we can't stand british actor uh real skinny guy played stephen hawking oh and he read me and he can take you out of a movie so fast yeah he's he's acting so hard yeah and you're like oh you know the guy i do i didn't see that i know the dude yeah did he win something did he win he won he won an oscar for that i think for that i could tell by his speech i was like i don't know but when you see him you're like is he all theater is he like he doesn't have any he just seems to take roles that are like that like high um

high ratio high percentage of like oscar winners will play like he was the danish girl right oh yeah that was bullshit he was he was stephen hawking yeah like he'll do a biopic he'll do a biopic. He'll do like a disabled character. Yeah. Yeah. And he was in that crazy fucking movie, uh, Jupiter ascending. Oh, right. And he's just like, I guess the director was like,

you know what? Do whatever you want. Jesus. I don't give a shit. Man, what a con man. I like this guy. Yeah.

Yeah. I like this guy. Now that this guy now that I think about it he figured it out because yeah what is Jupiter Ascending is it Channing Tatum yeah like rollerblading on Mars

yeah and he's a part man part wolf and and Mila Kunis and boy oh boy it is it is honestly

like the craziest movie I've seen since I think the other movie that those guys made that was like about yeah didn't they make one where it was like did they Cloud Atlas that was previously

the craziest movie I've ever seen. Whoa. That movie was nuts. Wasn't it nuts? There were parts of it where you're like, okay, no,

it's starting to make sense now and then it's just like, whoa. Have you seen it? No. Oh, man. Hey, he, I was like,

okay, this is a comedy. I get it. This is a comedy without the punch, without the punchline because it was like, okay, this is a comedy. I get it. This is a comedy without the punchlines. Because it was like, it was Tom Hanks' homage to Nutty Professor. In the future. With a floating building.

He played so many characters, dude, that were all dumb. And I love Tom Hanks. Lord knows I do. Yeah. So. But this was really like. He played a black dude. Kind of.

Yeah. Kind of a black guy. And I was like, oh, come on. Oh, really? It was crazy. I'm. Because I am. I've sort of avoided Tom Hanks. But now that I'm a dad, I'm like, I loved,

you know, Forrest Gump and Big and all that stuff. But then, now that I'm a dad, I'm like, Bridges Fives looks pretty good. When is Sully coming on table?

Yeah. So you noticeably watch movies different now well it's like uh if i'll get an afternoon to myself that one day i was like oh geez bridge of spies four bucks on itunes yeah i can't afford not yeah well i know it's i know it's gonna to be, I know I'm going to enjoy Tom Hanks' performance. Yeah. No, it's not really going to be, you know, it's not an iconic movie everyone's talking about. But I don't want to watch the Avengers. Yeah, no, totally. But like once in a while I'll watch like, yeah, I watched Captain Phillips.

And you're like, oh yeah, Tom Hanks is the best at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, totally. Yeah. It's just they can't all be home runs. No, and certainly he, I don't know. That was a whole season's worth that I cloud out. Oh, man. Yeah.

And I'm not going to go out and watch a hologram for the king. Well, why not? So maybe I will. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hologram for the king. Well, why not? So maybe I will. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the other thing that's going on with me is having the four-month-old at night. Sometimes I have her by myself and I can't watch anything because she's just, you know, cranky or whatever. So, like, there's no point in trying to watch something. And so I've really started watching sports a lot more. Because it's just on and it just runs. So like there's no point in trying to watch something. And so I've really started watching sports a lot more. Oh yeah. It's just on and it just runs. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to fully give it your, you don't have to give it any emotion.

Yeah. I don't care about these teams. You don't have to give it anything, but it's entertaining. But it's on and it's usually a West Coast team I'm watching because it's seven at night and all the East Coast games are over. And so I've been watching a lot more basketball. Have you been watching? I've been getting the recap.

Because there's a thing that happens. I don't know if this has always been a thing, but after you score a basket, the other team takes the ball out of bounds and passes it inbounds to a player on their team. Yeah, basketball. A basketball player.

But what I've been noticing now is the thing that they do is to a player on their team. Yeah, basketball. A basketball player. Yeah, some sort of basketball player. But what I've been noticing now is the thing that they do is they will not receive the pass. They'll just let it bounce and roll on the ground. Yeah. And I don't know if this has always been a thing. I don't have a person to mention that to me in a week. Oh, so this is a new phenomenon i just didn't know i haven't i kind of stepped out of watching it basketball and then now because you realized

we covered yeah um no but my roommate said that he's like hey uh man i don't know why they let why they let them do that I was like I thought I had an answer because you know sometimes you just well I think it has something like yeah if you pick it up then that's when the ball that's when you need to get across but but it wasn't that's I do that's what I thought it was that's from when I used to play that's what it was but then nothing will be on the line when these guys are doing that. They'll just let it happen. So I think it's just part of the culture. But it's new, right?

It wasn't as egregious as it is now. There's nothing illegal about it. Nah. And a couple people have tripped on it. That's funny. And that's good for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You deserve that.

Yeah, one dude did it, and he tripped. He was like, oh, whoops. And then the guy got it. He just hit a three, and they won the game. The other team won the game. Pretty good. That is the best way that that could have, like, you're being a dick, and then boom. Yeah.

I don't even want the ball. No, you can have the ball. Yeah, it's kind of petty. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, get the ball, man. it's kind of petty. Yeah. It's like, get the ball, man. It's like a play. Yeah. So, yeah.

Yeah. You know you're a basketball player. So, that's what's going on with me. I'm in love with Kirsten Dunst. And basketball. And basketball. Basketball is new in my life. What's going on with you, Graham?

Well, okay. So, one thing. Speaking of watching movies and stuff i went and this is a very rare occasion that this happened i went and saw a canadian film in the theater was it canadian film day or something no because that was the thing it might have been that same week but i just went because... Like a contemporary film? A contemporary film. It just came out in the theater on Friday. I'm sure it's maybe not in the theater anymore.

Now, are we talking Montreal, like Quebec? No, this was Halifax. A Haligonian film. A Haligonian film. And it had an American... Well, one of the leads was American not sure about the other one. Ethan Hawke was in it. Okay.

And it was a movie. Was it The Purge? It was The Purge. Canada? It's just basically The Purge but in Canada. Yeah. It was called Maudie and it's about a woman. Yeah a woman. Yeah, a woman. That's right, Dave.

About a painter from Halifax named Maud Lewis. And I only knew who she was because if you go to Halifax, in the art museum, they have her entire house. That was like a tiny little you know like colonial house a little baby house yeah and they took it apart and they rebuilt it in this museum and so i saw the poster and i was like i think that's that same person so i'm like i'm gonna go see a canadian film in the theater on a friday? On a Friday night. That's prime time. Big crowd. That's prime time, yeah.

Not a huge crowd, but not as small. I assumed that there was going to be like eight people. Right. And I'd say there was probably like 40 or 50. Where was this? The Fifth Avenue? Tinseltown. Oh.

International Villa. And it was very good. It was very good. It was a very sweet movie. And it's like. Who plays Marty? I don't, her name's Sally something. Mm-hmm.

Sandra Oh. Maybe a British actress? She might be British. This movie's not Canadian at all. Well, it takes place in Halifax. That's what they say. Yeah. Well, that's true.

Starring Ethan Hawke, well, that's true. Sorry. Nathan Hawke. Dame Judi Dench. But most Canadian films are very quiet affairs. And so if you go to see a movie on a Friday night in any theater, and you're watching the quietest film, you are hearing the films that are happening on either it's a big loud movies wow that's hilarious so on one side was some sci-fi movie and the other

side i think was just you know the last run of uh you know some superhero movie and so there were these very it's a very like quiet gentle gentle film. And, but you could hear like, that sounds like, get off my planet. That sounds like just living next to shitty Nate. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. They always party and you, you're not, you're like, it's 9 PM. I'm trying to watch a Canadian movie. Um, but yeah, so it was a real, it's 9 p.m. I'm trying to watch a Canadian movie. But yeah, so it was a real...

I think the last Canadian movie I saw in the theater was when we went and saw... Brent Butt's movie? Yeah, no clue. I think... Putting on for the country. It's very rare that a Canadian film will be in the theater. Is that weird what was the there was one that was out a few years ago that was about like a doctor coming to newfoundland and oh yeah they wanted to woo him yeah yeah what who's in that who yeah it was dr it was the guy

it was like riggins it was Riggins from Friday Night Lights. Oh, yeah. And Brandon Gleeson. Who's Brandon Gleeson? Oh, yeah, yeah, I know him. He's good. He's, you know, Domhnall Gleeson's dad. But he was in Gangsta New York.

He was in Bruges. Oh, yeah. He was the Bruges. Oh, yeah. The older guy. The older guy, right. He was in this good movie on Netflix where he's a priest. Oh, yeah. Really good. I've been watching a lot of the back end of Netflix movies.

Oh, the dark web? Yeah. So you go on the selection. Yeah, take me to the back end. Instead of going left to right, you go right to left. Yeah, there's got to be a back way in. What do they not recommend? What won't these people recommend to me?

Yeah, I'm flying blind. You're a hacker. Yeah, you're a hacker. That's the definition of a hacker. So that was the one thing. And then the other thing was the other day. You know I'm allergic to peanuts. No, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a long time. But you always bring a jar of peanut butter onto this. That's for you guys, though. That's not for... Oh, I'm on plane? On stage. Yeah, that's right.

I forgot about that. So I was on a very crowded bus yesterday. And like, you know, shoulder to shoulder. And I was lucky enough to have a seat. And this guy sat down next to me. And I feel like eating peanuts out of a bag is fine. I feel like that's a thing that people do. This is a guy who's cracking.

Oh. Peanuts. I was like and so I very tried to be very I was like he's at a fair so yeah yeah yeah that's what they do is circus. You drag them and let them fall into the earth. Yeah, so that's what he was doing. And I kind of, I said, do you mind? And he didn't speak English. And so I was like, well, this is awful. I can't move. And this guy's making peanut dust right next to my face.

And so I was like, you know what? Hope that guy chokes on a peanut and not i swear to god not 15 seconds later this guy starts joking and you're like i got powers it's happening and i just did the most like hmm well somebody made their bed and he like full-on coughed the peanut up. Oh, cool. What a fun bus to be on. Oh, I hope it hits me.

Yeah. Yeah, this sounds like a party bus, man. Yeah, you're right. Was it one of the ones with Paul? With little stripper Paul? Yeah. I should have known when I got on. Cough some peanuts on me.

You were at a strip club. Yeah, You were at a strip club. Yeah, I was at a strip club. I was at the circus strip club. Please welcome the world's tallest lady. Please welcome on LFM. What? I heard a news story yesterday about someone, there being like an argument on the bus

and someone getting stabbed by a 15-year-old. And I was like, I should call Greg. I heard a news story yesterday about someone, there being like an argument on the bus and someone getting stabbed by a 15 year old. And I was like, I should call Graham. Graham seems like a good guy. Graham didn't get stabbed. And he goes, oh yeah, I did. Yeah. No, but I did find out I have telekinesis.

You made the boy stab himself. Yeah. you made the boy stab himself you make it to where like that old lady doesn't have enough change you go you break them he's got the shining only your powers on a bus you have a vision you break them he's got the shining oh but it's not your only

only your power is on a bus yeah you have a vision of a bus door opening and blood just coming out oh speaking of

witches can I pitch yeah yeah yeah oh absolutely yeah I got some waivers for you guys it's fine

it's fine just we want creative consultants that's all yeah we just want points on the back end that's uh that's fine whole thing just we want creative consultants that's all yeah we just want points on the back end that's uh

of Netflix Netflix I'll give you the Netflix I'll give you my password oh fair yeah that's fair

uh do we want to move on to overheard sure I'm Bez and I'm Teresa and we host the weekly comedy

podcast One Bad Mother we celebrate our moments of parenting genius. As well as our failures. Just like, we're going to have hot dogs. And I'm like, no, we're having fun. Everybody loves hot dogs.

Yeah. And it just like smashes that thing right on my chest. And then I'm just crying in the middle of like kids space while people are like literally dancing with their children. Parenting can be sad and painfully funny at the same time. So join us each week as we admit that this is hard, but we're getting really good at it. Find us at MaximumFun.org

or wherever you download podcasts. Ben, we've been accused of so many things over the course of making The Greatest Generation, the Star Trek podcast, that we're a little bit embarrassed to be making. That is right, Adam, but the one accusation that will never stick is the sickening implication that our show is in the pocket of Big Rod. As in Gene Roddenberry. We are not affiliated with Roddenberry, and that is why we are free to

subject Star Trek to zingers, twangs, rib jabs, and all different kinds of jokey insults. That's right, Ben. The Greatest Generation is the people's Star Trek podcast, and Big Rod only wishes we were their puppet. No puppet! No puppet! If you want the untainted opinions of two guys who suffer pangs of shame every time they weigh in on Star Trek in this weirdly public forum, go to MaximumFun.org or search for the greatest generation

in your podcatcher. Overheard! Overheard! The segment in which we hear things out there in the wild, and then we come back here on the podcast. We talk about them, and that's that. Nothing fancy.

No, and we always like to start with the guests no frills no frills no frills no yeah this one is stripped down yeah bones i won't i won't sell you snake oil yeah we need to get back to our roots yeah yeah i'll give it to you straight man yeah not that crazy just for the noise i Lo-fi. Lo-fi. Yeah, getting on the plane. We've been talking about that a lot. But getting on the plane and this piece of shit businessman, you know, has the Bluetooth. No, not even the Bluetooth.

He didn't have the Bluetooth. He had the phone. He didn't have the decency to go hands-free. He had the phone as we're, like, he's walking onto the yeah with this phone and the bag and then what he says is what he was it was business jargon but the last thing he said which really you know burnt my brussels sprouts was really make my bean yeah it was he goes uh we'll recap all of this when i when i get back it's like you then why the fuck did you have that conversation you know why did we have to hear yeah you're just doing business talk to seem important yeah i can't stand a business of a

loud talking businessman but he's so important yeah right and i'm like so yeah all that we'll recap all of this yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah. You just wasted. You can't be a dope businessman. You could be junior business, man. Yeah. Because if I was on the other end and I was like, if we're discussing real business, I'd be like, are you? Yeah. It's like, are you in a bathroom?

Are you taking a shit right now? Are you about to board a plane and you're making other people hear this? Yeah. This business is off. Yeah, this is our business. God damn it. That's how, if I was a terrorist, and I'm thinking about it,

that's how I would get on a plane. Because I'd be like, business everybody. Yeah, I'm just doing business, nothing. Yeah, you're right. And then a guy goes, man, I hate this businessman. And he goes, I'm a businessman. Yeah, that's me, the businessman. That was it. That's perfect.

Are we post-Bluetooth headset as a society? Oh, as a society? Yeah. I don't know. But here's the, I prefer the Bluetooth over the businessman just holding his phone. That's great. Like not up to his head. He's just talking.

Like he's not on speakerphone, but yeah, he's got it turned up loud enough. And that he's so sure that the other person's not going to say anything of interest that he can be like, well, my ear doesn't need to be next to the hearing. Yeah. I just need to speak. I'm just talking into that. Yeah, I just need to speak words. Yeah, I'm just talking into that. I wear headphones, or no, just earbuds, but not the kind that have a mouthpiece on them. Yeah.

So I have to, like, if I have earphones, earbuds in, then I have to, like, I think this works. Yeah, yeah, that works. But, like, I can't hear myself talking through the buds, so I always feel like I'm just holding up a weird thing. Yeah. So please no one call me. If you can at all avoid it. Yeah. Yeah, I have the earbuds with the little microphone-y thing.

That's how I do telephone now. I actually, someone was, one of my buddies was staying over. He had to shoot something. So for a prop, he bought a pink phone. The old school, you know,

when you do a joke, how comics still go, then I hung up. You know? Yeah. Yeah. This is where you got so used to being so hacked that you just, such a lie.

Not even hacked, just lying. That's not the movement You did No I mean for the longest time It would go into a cradle So you'd have to kind of like

Like put it in And then slide it down So the light turned on If it was a vertical one On the wall You had to like Do it two or three times To make sure it caught

Yeah we haven't clicked In a long time Yeah yeah yeah Even when it was cordless You would You hit the talk. Yeah. Yeah. So this, though, for some reason is the international.

Then I hung up on the phone. Yeah. But I actually have one of those that attaches into. So when I'm at home. Like Lenny Kravitz. It does. Yeah. There's an iconic photo.

Walking down the street. One of the more iconic photos not the one of him with the huge scarf no with the ribbon yeah if someone could photoshop those three Lenny Kravitz photos together

he's like I'm just like just quilled on in his and he's carrying a phone with no but no one's complaining no no that was my favorite when that news story hit twitter like grab it the dick comes out my face yeah everybody was so happy i tweeted tweeted. I was like, Oh my God, you guys. Lady Caravans' dick just fell out of my pants. I think we all remember

what we tweeted on that day. It was a really good day. 9-11 in this. This is what you'll be able to tell your grandkids. That was the back end of 9-11. Dave, do you have an overheard?

Well, you know I retired from overheards last week. But we're bringing your number back down from the rafters. Well, mine is sort of an overseen. So I watched The Real Housewives of Toronto. Oh, yeah. And I decided, hey, I'm going to Oh, yeah. Ooh, la la. And I decided, hey,

I'm going to follow my favorite housewife, Roxy. Yeah. At Luxurious Roxy on Instagram. That's what the internet is beautiful. That's part of it. Yeah, exactly. Want to know more?

And so when you follow her, here's what Instagram suggests. Who they suggest you follow. Joan from Real Housewives of Toronto. Jana from Real Housewives of Toronto. Anne from Real Housewives of Toronto. Grego from

Real Housewives of Toronto. And Michelle Obama. Yeah, exactly. They had a little culture, you know, like round out that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cards were even fixed right there. Yeah. It's like, let's spread this out, man.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. His deck is stacked. She could have been a real housewife. Too real. Actually, yeah, I guess so. I guess there's the connection. Yeah. Number one housewife.

She was the top housewife. Yeah, she is. Was she a housewife? She was doing a lot. She was working on her own cake. Not the first lady. I mean, not housewife in the disrespectful way that it is seen now. First lady isn't a great title either.

No. What should we call them? I don't know. Co-president. Co-president. There you go. There we go. You know what? The better half. The president's better-president. There you go. You know what?

The better half. The president's better half. Ah, there you go. That's an easy one. Melania. Melania. Is she still not living at the White House? No.

Okay. Good for her. Yeah. I don't know. I think if he's doing whatever he wants, she should be able to do it. Whatever she wants. I should be able to do whatever I want. Yeah.

Dino said so. My over. Here we go. I just want to say the guy that was saying this was the ugliest guy that I've ever seen. You know how around what he says you'll you'll be like oh okay that's fine uh but you know around the fall where

pumpkins are so much yeah yeah so cozy But you know how occasionally there's like that weird white pumpkin that's got spots on it and stuff? That is what this guy looked like. He looked like a white pumpkin. Oh, my gosh. And so he's telling his buddies how many people that he's hooked up with. That's why you need to know this guy looks like a white pumpkin. And he says to his friend that he hooked up with Gene and then he told

Ryan, Gene's boyfriend and Ryan didn't even care I don't believe this guy hooked up with anybody, he never talked to Ryan and that's why Ryan doesn't care because it never happened well, that is rude to hook up with someone and then tell their partner

yeah, that's part of the deal. And if it is, if it did happen, who are these people? Don't you want to? These monsters. Yeah. Yeah. The white pumpkin hooks up with my old lady. I don't care.

What kind of? Yeah. I want to see how ugly this team is. Oh, yeah, that's true. Maybe he's like, yeah. He's fine. He's a dime in this community. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's fine. He's a dime in this community. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's true. Yeah. That's true. Just because he's the ugliest guy I've ever seen. Sure. You haven't seen Gene. You haven't seen Ryan. You don't know what Ryan looks like.

Ryan's like, I don't care. He goes, you're Tony. The heart throb. Yeah, yeah. You're the Fonz of our crew. Yeah. You're the white pumpkin. You're beautiful.

You're like a white pumpkin. That's the name of my golden age of radio character. The white pumpkin. The white pumpkin. Ugh. Come on. Pretty good. That was good stuff.

Now, we also have overheard sent in to us from people all over the world. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. And this first one comes from Will S. Oh, getting jiggy with it? Wow, William S. Yeah, William S. Graham silently shows me the phone like you couldn't have guessed the person's last name. Well, it was just so exciting when I saw it.

He's keeping up with the Joneses. So this is, I overheard this gem at a bar just now. Guy one. I was talking to this guy, Carl Tucker. Guy two. Carl Tucker. I've heard a name like that. First and last?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, Tucker Carlson. That's kind of like Carl Tucker. Oh, yeah. But yeah, I've heard names like that too yeah yeah carl tucker yeah um john tucker must die oh yeah carl reiner sure max tucker max tucker is he the i hope they said yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah you do you do shit Tucker Mack. Oh, Tucker Mack. You douche it up. No, but Max Tucker is how you would find it in a library.

Tucker Mack. That's a douchey name. It is pretty bad. That's a douche name. Yeah. I named my kid Tucker. Oh, well. Does he suck?

Yeah. So this next one comes from Andrea I want to apologize to our Tucker listeners Right I did go I was going to the Max I wasn't against Tucker It's the combination Tucker and Max

No you're not wrong Thank you Tucker mail I've done it now This is from No, you're not wrong. Thank you. Tucker mail. I've done it now. This is from Andrea F. And she sent in an overheard. But what struck me was the link that she provided because it was a strawberry festival in a small town in Louisiana.

And the big draw of this city is an adult alligator that lives in the middle of town in an enclosed area. And so she provided a link to it. And the link was that it was my favorite part of the overheard. It describes the name of the alligator. The name of the alligator the name of the alligator is old hard hide the current town alligator current town alligator lives in the center of town in a big open air enclosure one of his predecessors was old blue eyes oh cool frank sinatra himself what color eyes do alligators usually have yeah i don't know but i, but if I saw one, it would have blue eyes.

Cool. Like a husky. Oh, dreamy eyes. Yeah, yeah. Am I falling in love with this alligator? Is it a cool thing to have a town animal caged up in the middle?

I mean, where is this, Florida? Louisiana. It's possible that there was just an alligator and they're like let's put a cage around it like putting a cup over a spider we'll deal with it later yeah like the city council voted like well now it's old blue eyes our town mascot um this last one comes from arta from minneapolis uh two girls uh one sat down on the bench beside me before a show one of them was having some back pain she was telling her friend about how she'd seen a chiropractor her friend said yeah but was he certified to this the sitting friend replied that he was second friend but how certified like from one to ten and the sitting friend said i don't know he had khakis and a ponytail old white guy so not certified oh wow yeah yeah

that really was on the case yeah yeah yeah like come on like get off my ass my back feels better yeah yeah

how certified was this guy you and your certificates brother so this young lady with back pain probably got some

big old titties eh Dave that from you I know right you'd never expect that So this young lady with back pain. I've got some big old titties, eh? Dave! Is that from you? I know, right? You'd never expect that. Wow. Well, anything can happen.

And an issue of overheards that are written. And we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, I've got a phone number for you. It's one of the best phone numbers there is. And it starts with a one, because it's long distance. Yep. And then you gotta put in the rest of the numbers. And they are these ones. 844-779-7631

or one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Hi, Stop Podcasting Yourself. This is Josh from Placidville, California. And I'm here at the 2017 Sprint Car Races. And I just saw an ice cream truck. And the name of their ice cream company was...

Kids Creamery. Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah. What is the type of race? A sprint car. What is kind of, you know, some kind of silent car apparently. Cause where he was calling from was a perfect connection.

Yeah. Box car racing. I've been to a box car race. And that's downhill. No, no, this is around, but it's like the cars been to a boxcar race. And that's downhill? No, no. It's just around, but it's like the cars are certain. They're boxy. Okay.

Boxcar. Yeah. I think of a boxcar as the part of a train. Oh, yeah. I'm thinking of a hobo. A hobo. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. A sprint car racing. Let's see. Oh, it's these guys. Whew. It's the ones with the big fin or the big sail on the top. Oh, yeah! Okay. Maybe, you know, that's what I

went to. Maybe I just made a box. Yeah, that looks like a lot of fun. Yeah. And we hope everyone had fun there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, good family activity. Here's your next phone call. Hello, Dave and Graham and probable guests. This is Lizzie B. calling from Brooklyn, New York, with an overheard.

B.K.! Yesterday I got my hair cut by a lady who has a salon in the back of a coffee shop. And she and her husband own the coffee shop. She works in a room in the back. Very Brooklyn. While I waited for my appointment, i overheard the husband training a newer young employee to be a barista and at one point he leaned over to the young man and said i want you to go home tonight and i want you to google what is a scone what is a turnover

and what is a croissant and then you can know exactly what they are and there will be pictures so that you can identify them anyways i'd hate living that person fucked up but also shouldn't there be visuals in the store no but that's the double down that that he probably showed him those and he fucked that up. Right. Right. And then it was like, all right, listen. Yeah, it's like,

throw out those turnovers. Where are the scones? I threw them out. Scones, turnovers, and croissants, was it? Yeah.

I couldn't point, I couldn't find a turnover. I couldn't paint a turnover from memory. I like, yeah, I get it. I'm not moddy. I get this kind of problem problem but what is it uh

turnover is like a cake it's i've heard of an apple turnover that's what i'm picturing i'm i'm googling it like i'm the guy oh no it's the thing that's like it's like a pouch and there's apple inside it looks like a toaster strudel yeah that's the's the one. Yeah. That's the one. So it's like, it's the, it's like the croissant, but yeah, it's, yeah. Like a samosa or something. Yeah. Fruit samosa. Yeah. That's funny though.

That guy sounds like, not only, I can't say that, that's some asshole talk though. Yeah. I would be like, you know what, this job is for me. Yeah. No, I really need money, but fuck. You're going to be, if you're going to be on my ass. Yeah.

Just imagine him on the phone getting on the plane, like, okay, well, I'm going to be in the air for the next two hours.

I want you to Google. Yeah, we can recap all of this when I get back. Google a penne au chocolat. Here's your final overheard, guys. We made it.

Hi, Dave and Graham, and stunningly beautiful guests. This is Alex from North Carolina. And so today was 420, and I was working downtown in Asheville, North Carolina. And I saw this character walking down the street and celebrating the holiday. I saw this character walking down the street and celebrating the holiday. He had a Bob Marley shirt on and the longest dreads I've probably ever seen. And he was singing this little ditty. And it went, God made the weed. God made the ganja.

And man made the alcohol. So who you gonna trust? Wow. You guys got the best fans, man. What? That was that took some stones, man to call in and leave that over a voice.

Yeah, and like sing it and sing it commit to that. I feel like the person who called it in also like went somewhere where the vocals would sound real nice.

Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, I wonder. Yeah, because it sounded like, oh, he goes, I'm going to hit him with it. Let me hear it. Yeah. You got some reverb you can put on there? He went to the studio. Yeah. He got Pharrell to produce it. Yeah. He's like, run that track.

Yeah, let me hear you're gonna trust park just play that part back yeah that's pretty good yeah oh boy um well that brings us to the end of the episode unfortunately and uh talking to you guys it was so great to have you back and rather fresh air man um now you're traveling around uh where can people find you online to find out where you'll be appearing next um i update i try to keep my website updated yeah dinoarchi.com so and i'm trying to really get away from i went out of the online game yeah sure i'm done we all do yeah yeah yeah so somehow I can't get out yet. So I'm consolidating to it, to Instagram.

Okay. Everything on Instagram. Yeah. It's public. Uh, so Dino Archie.com or at on Instagram. Dino, the beloved.

There it is. Talk to me, man. Uh, you guys are awesome. Thanks for coming. Yeah. Yeah. And you people out there

If you like the show You should head over To MaximumFun.org Check out the blog recap Pictures and videos Of the things we talked about On the show Marty

Marty That Kirsten Dunst Turning Japanese video Oh yeah That shitty businessman Yeah We have a picture Of a shitty businessman I'm have a picture of a shitty businessman

i'm just gonna google shitty businessman in the first picture that comes up maybe an apple turnover there oh yeah oh yeah people out uh and uh thanks so much for listening if you like the show please tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself your friends and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported