Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 484 - David Huntsberger

Episode Date: June 26, 2017

Comedian and podcaster David Huntsberger joins us to talk science, piles, and old HBO shows.

Hey everybody, we got new shirts! Head over to maxfunstore.com and check out the new Stop Podcasting Yourself Summer Goth T-Shirts. maxfunstore.com Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Woo!

Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 484 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's really futzing with his headphones, Mr. Dave. So these are headphones that I bought because we needed extra headphones. Yeah. Just in case. They're two, they haven't been worn in yet. There was a time Sony wasn't making these headphones so I bought them on eBay from China and I don't think, I think they're just Sony looks. Sornies.

Yeah. With whatever. Head gum. Not head gum. What's the like Sk Sornies? Yeah, with whatever. Head gum. Not head gum. What's the like Skullcandy? Skullcandy. Skullcandy innards? Head gum.

Head gum's a podcasting brand. Yeah, I like it. But you guys sound very muffled in them. Oh, yeah. And I'm just yanking on the cord like when you first get a baseball mitt. You know what I need to do? I rub shaving cream on it. Shaving cream and then run over it with your car.

No. That's the strangest technique. That doesn't seem like from a life hack blog or something. No, no, no. Just stretch it. Yeah, just stretch it. Well, like yours is nice and live. Yeah, it's very limber it's been

used for years this is oh this is oh mine's cartoonishly like all stretched out this is like yours are like cooked pasta yours is like a like a telephone cord the old uh landline styles that voice you hear is our guest today uh he is a podcaster and a comedian and uh he hosts his own podcast called space cave mr david huntsberger oh hello fellow hello thanks for having me thanks for uh making time yeah it's a wonderful space down here i i it it is it's like a space cave oh yes very similar very similar the uh i i noticed that drawing behind you from that uh I, it, I. It is, it's like a space cave. Ooh, yes. Very similar. Very similar. The, uh, I noticed that drawing behind you from that, uh, synchronized swimmer's sketch. Yeah.

I almost started bursting out laughing when you guys were talking. I was like, keep it together. It is one of the funniest sketches, uh. It's so great. Probably of all time. Yeah. Certainly of all of SNL. Yeah.

It's, I would say, filmed. Filmed on location. Yeah. Should we get to know us? Sure. Get to know us. Tell us just a little bit. What is Space Cape?

It's me interviewing. Usually it's just a chat with scientist scientist types over beer so we have some beers the first 10 minutes a lot of times i'll call someone just like a stranger via twitter chat with them for a bit see what they're up to and then the rest well how how why a stranger like anyone just yeah i want to just open up the twitter phone book and pick a name well it used to be a little bit more fertile i would just just put out, like, who wants to chat? Tweet me your phone number. And, like, in the days of Professor Blastoff, especially,

like, people would just, it would be like a race. People just tweeting their telephone numbers into the world. And then, which I think, like, calmed some of the fears that people have. Like, everyone in the world's going to call me if I, and no one calls you. No one cares if you tweet your phone number. But now I have it where they can like direct message it and then I'll call them.

And I don't know. I just liked that. I know there's supposed to be this disconnect between like listeners and people doing it. But like, it's also like, I never answered my phone anyway. Yeah,

that's true. I could give it out to everyone. Yeah. And same with my email. Like I'm very protective about my email, but I bet I could give it out to everybody yeah and same with my email like I'm very protective about my email but I bet everyone could guess it same with 90%

of people I know 90% of the people that you think like they've probably got some encryption on theirs nope it's

joesmith at gmail.com for everybody so I could just say that I have like I have quite a rolodex of names

I assume and like I could get an email from a stranger, and I'd be like, all right, well. Yeah. So what? That's true. I never question, where did you get this? I'm just like, I don't know. I ask people from time to time, how'd you get my info?

And? It was on your website. Good answer. Oh, yeah. From the correct source. Well, because I do a monthly show in LA, and sometimes people will go, hey, they'll have like a reference. And it's usually someone I don't even know.

So then I am curious, like, how'd you get in touch with me? Right. And they'll go, oh, I'm friends with Charlie. I go, I don't know Charlie. How did Charlie get my email? Then I'm a real stick friends with Charlie. I don't know Charlie. How did Charlie get my email? Then I'm a real stickler with them. I really get after them. But like these people that you talk to on the Twitter phone,

that's what you call them on the Twitter phone? Yeah, got me on the Twitter phone. Go ahead. What do you guys talk about? Just shoot the shit kind of thing? Usually, yeah. I mean, during the whole run of the election and stuff, it was hard for people to talk about anything other than that.

So then it felt like a little bit like AM radio. Go ahead, caller. I'm this job, job, I'm this, I'm probably. But now everyone's cooled off. Yeah, yeah, it's really settled down. Hello there, everything's fine. For the home listener, as opposed to the people in the room uh we're recording this about a month before it comes out so uh we're in the midst of

covfefe fever the president made a typo yeah covfefe that was pretty yeah it was more of the um but uh you know i mean why doesn't he have at least one person that just scans really quick over the tweets before they go out or is it a

genius move it must be that he's like ah things are dying down i gotta get people stirred up again no it's like if it's a genius it's like an idiot savant yeah it's like, if it's a genius, it's like an idiot savant. Yeah. It's like, there's no way this was calculated.

Yeah. But also, it's like, he's my dad's age about, and, like, my dad is together. Like,

he has his life together. He's super smart. Yeah. But I could easily picture him sending half a message. Right. But does he tweet? No.

Not a lot of 70 year olds tweet no that's the weirdest i may maybe i should start seeing if there are 70 year olds on twitter and just start following them i'm kind of interested like would it just be updates from their life or would they be complaining about fidget spinners i'm just picturing you going through a search and someone's bio would have to say hello there i'm 70 yeah still tweeting you go good follow the 79 and feeling fine and for the homeless follow me fidget spinners are a thing that were popular a month ago maybe six weeks ago there i was uh where was i was at somewhere like someplace that wouldn't have them, that just had them.

Like a 7-Eleven or something? No, it was a vintage, like a vintage clothing store. What's a fidget spinner? Oh. The three thing. Yeah. Okay, sorry. I did hear about this.

But they're like, they've become popular. Teachers have banned them from classrooms. And it feels like everyone's selling them everywhere, and by the time this comes out, they will be, yeah. Yeah. They were in the New York Times crossword puzzle a few days ago as fad. Oh, it would be cool to, like, I don't know, like be on the early edge of a fad,

which I don't think I ever have been. I certainly tried a number of times, and it just doesn't take off, so it was just a weird thing I did for a while. What did you try fad-wise? Well, that triangle thing is very similar to paper football. I thought that was going to make a comeback. Oh, yeah. That's pretty fun.

What's that, when you fold up a piece of paper? Yeah, into a triangle, and then you can spin it in your hand. I used to do that a lot, but then, yeah, you do the do the field goal like the goal posts and kick them through and all that but you know kicks are the least fun part of football that's probably why you're using your finger do that all day i'd like to see a pass yeah that's true well when you really you know nudge one over the edge of the table or like make your little feet your fingers into a little running back feet yeah move the chains uh i feel like maybe lunch rooms across uh north america are still home to this that type yeah yeah maybe it never went out of or into fat i'm trying to think now of one that i had going we're like i'm the only one doing it well i remember like when i was 11

uh i was really into the song bohemian rhapsody right before wayne's world came out oh wow and i was like guys i look where we've been through that we don't need to freak out over this i was here first my when i was uh younger for some reason i don't know why it all of a sudden was popular. And it might have only been popular at my school, but playing marbles. Oh, really? Yeah. Because it was so low impact. You shoot them with your thumb?

Yeah, you dig a little tiny kind of hole in the dirt. Okay. And then you're trying to knock it as close to the hole without it going in the hole. Once it goes in the hole, whoever wins gets all to the hole without it going in the hole once it goes in the hole whoever like wins gets all of the marbles that are in the hole wait but how would they win by by getting to the closest like whoever would get to the closest without going in the hole would win and then if anybody else's marbles you just got those nice and what year was this? This was when I was 1942. The war was happening.

Did you have a little sack of marbles? Everybody had a little sack of marbles. All the jacks, you couldn't play jacks anymore because they were melted down with a war effort. Yeah, yeah. I remember I wasn't allowed to wear hosiery because we had donated all our hosiery

to the war effort uh yeah no it was little bags and like you would buy them for a dollar but there were some marbles i remember being more valuable to you the player like a cat's eye yeah yeah or were the big ones better or the little ones what were the big ones roundies yeah there were ones if i remember there was like there were the glass ones that have like the blown kind of design aggies were there aggies i feel like aggies were one there were ones that were speckled they were called maybe speckled and then there was one that had like that kind of looked like the planet earth yeah they were called worlds oh what's what's the aggie what's that look like i don't know again you just made it up no it's from the crossword puzzle

but i didn't get it i got it through the crossword clues but yeah i remember uh and then my dad had some marbles so he was like here like go forth and my collection of marbles was it one of those when he heard you were playing it was like come over here yeah yeah yeah let me yeah i'm gonna let you don't lose the so you could lose there'd be one kid walking around with everyone's marbles yeah yeah it's gambling his name was brody and he had everybody's marbles really yeah he was amazing at getting it right up to the line so that you thought you could beat him. But then your marble would go right in the hole. And when he beat you, did you go crazy?

Did you lose your marbles? I mean, yeah. I remember one time losing a marble that I really liked, and I was really sad about it. Maybe that was just my school. What was the game with a bunch of marbles on skewers, and you had to pull out the sticks? Kerplunk? Maybe. Yeah.

That could not sound more foreign to me. Even the gestures you were making. It was like a tube. Yeah, but it was like Jenga, but instead of pulling out like blocks, you pulled out a skewer. Is it,

was it? Yeah, yeah. Like a thin stick. So it was all these skewers were holding a big stack of marbles and you were pulling out

and strategically pulling out different ones. And then if you pulled out, you know, the one that was kind of held all the weight then the marbles would fall into the bottom half and you'd lose i like the i like this setup it seems you've never heard of kerplunk that's crazy i just i feel like i've heard of kerplunk but i

have never matched it with what you've just described yeah was that also the name of a green day album was it i think so yeah maybe uh but like i don't i don't know that i ever played kerplunk no me neither but i know like i remember seeing it in an ad or seeing it at like a you know a friend's house who had like 50 board games and you're like not that yeah let's play it seems like a nightmare to clean up. You'd need like a kerplunk sort of stadium built around your table. Well, I think those balls all go into the tube, don't they? Yeah, yeah. They go into the bottom half of the tube. All right, I take it back.

And then you just flip it. Then you put the skewers back in. You flip it back over. What were... Or you don't. You just leave it in the box and go about your day. If you were a kid and you went to that friend's house that had tons of board games, which one would you pick? I mean, how old am I?

Because mostly I wanted to play Candyland. 36. I was going to say Candyland, but mostly because I just wanted candy. Not because I actually wanted to play Candyland. Yeah, the game itself was fairly lame. What was the game? Was it like Monopoly? You could take like these shoots that was one of those games where like you could cheat and kind of zoom across that was the

nice part like a portal yeah shoots and ladders i remember that being a game that maybe my grandmother introduced me to it was it's the most basic yeah that's true i guess that's probably the first board game you learned yeah and then or the memory game ones oh oh yeah flopping stuff oh yeah oh yeah what was the uh what's the one with all the faces uh guess who guess who yeah that was uh did you ever have that one i don't remember remember Guess Who. I just remember the animals one where you flip stuff over. Sure. But I don't remember faces. Guess Who was, eh, it wasn't very fun.

No, you would get like, you know, a thing with, you know, 20 faces on them. Famous faces? No, no, no. Just like drawings of people. Okay. And you would say to your, because you would have your cart like a special face and the person you're playing against would have to guess which of these 20 people your your card is so they'd be like is your person have red hair yes so they flap slap down whichever ones

don't have red hair oh okay yeah and they, you know, 18 white faces and two black faces. So you would never pick the black face because it would just be like, well, I'm going to be able to guess it. Also, you would never pick it because you're racist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't ever discount my racism. I had a knockoff version of whatever.

Guess who called? Who's that? Who's that? Yeah. Who to that? Well, there were weird Canadian games, too. knockoff version of whatever guess who called who's that who's that yeah who to the that well there were weird canadian games too like the canadian monopoly was called paul economy what and you could own the edmonton oilers paul economy poly p-o-l-y economy and uh Dylan Reimer, who we did a show with last night, his uncle invented a board game called Fur Out, which was the Canadian fur trading board game. I like it.

I was instantly trying to go through American games that that would have been a knockoff of, and I couldn't come up with anything. So it sounds very original, very Canadian. Yeah, very original, very complicated to play. We all played it one evening, and it was just like, oh yeah, but you forgot about the logging card, and it was all kind of like secret. You didn't get your pelt permit. Go back to the mercantile. go back to the mercantile um did you ever when you uh do you ever play any of those games like risk or whatever they take because those have come back yeah well and now they're style and

now like super complicated grown-up games yeah yeah i do any of those i mean that's such i feel like it's a common adult thing now. You guys into board games? Yeah. And then me and my girlfriend will be like, she likes them. So yeah. All right. And I spend the whole evening being told how much fun I'm going to have once I get it.

And then I just sit there. Oh, so I move it here. So it's just someone moving my stuff for me the whole time. Strategizing for me. You're probably going to want to do this. Okay. And then thanks for a great evening.

And I leave. I never want to do this again. Always. But it happens fairly, like Settlers of Catan, everyone's into that. I like it okay but it doesn't really appeal to me that much to like get real into it. I think the fact that I

like, I will make fun of these games. Doesn't mean I don't want to play them. But I think people are now like, oh Dave Dave's not going to have fun. Dave will will hate this so let's not invite him well let's let's have a board game night yeah let's yeah because i uh i'm curious enough about uh the katan and then there's another one that uh is called werewolf something werewolf it's not werewolf detective now in settlers of katan are all the game pieces different chris katan character yeah so you can be i'm mango mango their head just slightly for that guy or mr peepers or monkey bone well you know his catalog corky Corky Romano. Corky Romano. He was in that movie that was shot in West Edmonton Mall.

And that brings us up to current day Catan. Fine, that settles it. Guys, what's going on? Settlers of Catan. We're the Settlers of Catan. So, you've got this podcast in America. Mm-hmm. CISO must be busting your door down everyone knocks cso uh but i pitched a show to them a while ago and i was as enthusiastic as you could get to make it because i felt like i did a bit on jonah ray's show yeah and uh the way they let it was just

like as if someone had given you and your friends, like, do you have camera gear? What if we gave you $200? Could you make something? But it was kind of fun because it was so like, there was no one in a suit hanging out. There was no notes. It was just like people just, you know, lugging gear. And like, I'm also, put it in the back of my Kia Sportage. And then we'll go to the next set.

This is a television show, by the way. But the way it came out, the way it looks, I think is fantastic. And it's like, it's just very hands-off. It's like, I like CISO. But you can tell how impactful something is via the number of interactions just across every platform you get. And I think there was one total tweet from my appearance on the show on CISO. Which is a shame, because I think it's a funny show. Everyone's really knocking CISO.

I wish it would get off the ground. Are people knocking it? Yeah. I mean, in LA. I just made a joke because. No, it is like, it's kind of a, I don't know if it's going to last. Like they're, they're sort of the key person left recently and stuff. It thinks like they're folding up shop. And I mean, around Los Angeles, it's kind of a running joke.

Like at that big CISO meeting tomorrow and people will just cackle and cackle. and stuff and thinks like they're folding up shop. And I mean, around Los Angeles, it's kind of a running joke. Like, get that big CISO meeting tomorrow and people will just cackle and cackle. But it does seem like a golden opportunity. Like, you hear these stories about like a thing that was canceled, but they've shot the last four episodes, but everybody knew it was being canceled. So they did all sorts of crazy stuff. Or, you know, like it feels like if you got a show and you knew it was going down, you could do whatever.

I would have loved that. I had a show for a while, and they just canceled it after we taped the final episode. They just called them like, that was the last one? And I was like, damn it. It was a weird phone call. Like, oh, so no more of that? Like, yeah, yeah yeah it's done instantly

whereas we like a fun last episode yeah we we knew we had 12 so that was kind of the mindset that everyone has like we're not getting more than 12 let's just have fun with all of these yeah so everyone like the producers and everyone involved was kind of had that mindset and then getting it canceled yeah i was we were all looking forward to like ah we're gonna we're gonna go down with the ship do a bunch of weird stuff i googled what did i google i googled like most popular netflix shows and higher in the list than i would have thought was the show uh about uh i think it was a scripted show with rob schneider oh yeah i've never heard of it. I feel like, I could be wrong, but I feel like it was a show that maybe was on a network and then Netflix was like, we'll buy it.

Oh, okay. I could be wrong about that. But I think it was an attempt to do a Rob Schneider sitcom. People love Rob Schneider. He's the original, hey, you can do it guy. Do people love him? Adam Sandler, I think, likes him. Yeah.

Yeah, but I never hear people be like, oh, sweet, new Rob Schneider stuff coming out. Yeah. I feel like I like him. I don't feel like I like the other ones. But it was a mix of his, like the description of it was a mix of his real life and his stand-up. And I was like, I did not know he was a stand-up. Was it good? Oh, I didn't watch it.

No. I'm so intrigued by it now. I want to go watch some of this real Rob. Yeah. Do you have a Netflix account? Oh, I've got a password, my friend. Nice. Real nice.

What's the, is there like Netflix and then down down in the states they have amazon prime which we do we have we have dribs and drabs of it yeah we don't really get oh yeah because there's we don't get no cso no we don't get cso you get hbo go or hbo now or any of those i don't know we get hbo yeah okay you're good then well i don't know what's h nice. That's cool. You can watch it on the go. You can watch it on your computer. You know, you get a password. Oh, I like that. No, yeah.

I don't think we have that. You can go back and watch old HBOs. You can see the full Arliss. Yeah. I was going to say, but I couldn't come up with Arliss. Is Arliss like HBO's only kind of show that didn't hit? No, this was back

before, like HBO, before Sex and the City there was no reason to like to watch HBO. To watch HBO. It was like

Dream On and Arliss. Dream On, there was also stand-up specials. They had Mr. Show. Oh yeah. Didn't they also have

Was Herman's Head on HBO? No, it was on Fox. That was on Fox, yeah. Lo. Oh, yeah. Didn't they also have... Was Herman's Head on HBO? No, it was on Fox. That was on Fox, yeah. Loved Herman's Head. You got a kind of a Herman vibe. I do? You could play Herman in The Herman Story.

I would love to. The Herman Story. Like, if they rebooted Herman's Head, you've got a great head of hair. Yeah. It's swell. Maybe the same coloring as Herman. Mm-hmm. Same sort of generic-y white guy look.

I don't think he... I remember him. Yeah, I remember him. Maybe I'm thinking of the guy from Dream On, though. Was Dream On the TV one? Yeah. Mm-hmm. That was a very bizarre concept for a show.

Yeah. Refresh my memory. He was... And tell me if I got this right. He was a kid who grew up watching so much television, and now he's a television executive. And everything that happens in his life, it would cut to, in his head, a clip from a classic TV show or movie that would comment on the situation. movie that would like comment on the situation so it's like it was like they sort of like hbo must have acquired a bunch of old footage and then like we got to build a show around this i remember loving dream on i thought he acted in some of the black and white footage they would

cut to as well that's entirely possible maybe that's that rings a bell that's been a long time but those were on around the same time dream on in herman's head yeah it's pretty like adventurous television that's true well fox i feel like for a while would do anything there was a see-saw of the early they were yeah because they tried a lot of like it was the first station to be like, well, we'll put a cartoon on in primetime and adults will watch it. Although, that's what apparently Rocky and Bullwinkle was in the 60s, which is very hard to believe. Oh, sure. And wasn't the Flintstones? Yeah.

But when you watch it, you're like. It's like primetime television, the Flintstones? But no other network really has done a cartoon since. Fox has done dozens. other network really has done a cartoon since like fox has done dozens but well it didn't nbc like try to make one about a dog president or something like that or and i feel like john goodman was the voice of the president or maybe a mouse president they have a show right now called downward dog that's like a talking dog show i think that's maybe ABC. Okay. And then ABC did the dinosaurs show. Remember that?

Oh, right. Of course. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That lasted a season or two, I think. Yeah, yeah. But they knew when they were canceled. Yeah, that's true.

They were wiped out with a... Well, snow. It started snowing. Oh. Yeah. In the last episode, they're like, what's this falling from the sky? And you're like oh no I guess I knew that they were all going to die

They're dinosaurs I don't know if the homeless can hear it I sure hope not We have this handyman who comes by from time to time And he's got like a list of things to do And I guess today is the day of hammering on the house just he's looking at the house hammer check it's like so there's never like a call like today i'm coming over to do it it's just like well it's just whatever he's in the mood for yeah

yeah what time's nap time okay i'll be there i'll be there it's just like well it's just whatever he's in the mood for yeah yeah what time's nap time okay i'll be there i'll be there it's a hammer on the house striking my hammer rhythmically 400 times precisely yeah um now you uh you you like all things science and uh i'm prone to it yes did you ever want to be a scientist? Or is comedian it? No, I never wanted to be a scientist. Although I find myself now, it'd be fun to be one of those people out researching in a forest somewhere.

Yeah, a scientist. I would love to do that, the research part. But I think all the school and whatnot would be a little too taxing. I listened to this podcast a while ago, and now I'm forgetting what it was, but it was this guy who studies octopi, octopuses.

I think it's octopuses, but he was like, I have no training, no schooling. I just like collecting the data. So he just goes and scuba dives and marks down on this, and he gives talks all over the world and just liked octopuses. So I feel like, oh, maybe I could just do that. I could just dive in and just start being a scientist.

Well, yeah, we had a guest not too long ago. Who was able to fit inside a jar? Yeah, yeah. We put a muscle inside a jar, sealed it, and then we just sat there and waited. And he turned it very slowly, creepy eyes looking around. She was a graphic novelist and she's now like one of the top four experts in the world on photo booths really yeah so i guess if you like pick the thing that was specific

enough you could become the foremost yeah i would love to do that i would love to have like a specific interest i just got really into hinges. Yeah. I know everything about Viewmaster. Last night after the show, we were hanging out and a guy came by whose name was Chocolate. I doubt that was his real name. Oh, no, it was.

Yeah, I know Chocolate. Yeah. And some dreadlocks with barrettes and kind of a very fanciful sort of gypsy vibe. That's chocolate. That's classic chocolate. He does Reiki work and power healing and all this sort of stuff.

And then he was getting into why gravity is a myth. And I really wanted to be a scientist because I was like, I was eating food. So I was not in the mood to be like, all right, you weird hippie. Right. You're right. Gravity. And he would present these things of like, because explain this. And I'd go,

well, you know, like the atomic number is this. And so there probably has to do with the, you know, there's a density involved there. And he'd go, I'm not hearing any formulas.

I was just like, this conversation will, is concluding now. And I've, I normally, I would want to like engage this person and just like, but I hated it so much you pulled out a napkin and you drew down wrote down some numbers which is nonsense but yeah it

satisfied him yeah then you slid it across the table this is what i'm thinking yeah and then he opens it up and it says get out of here chocolate here's my email address. Give it to everyone. Yeah, I guess. I guess. I don't know. If somebody said gravity is a myth, I wouldn't know how to argue that. I'd be like, it's not because we're not flying through space. Yeah.

End of story. But I don't actually have any data. He was one of those, like, I don't people like read these sort of things where he's like think of this man helium you put you got a balloon right it just lays on the ground it's a mass you add more mass to it the helium the balloon floats what's that all about i'm like well gas and excited say the electrons you know you got your atoms moving around plus also naturally the atmosphere helium is lighter than air so it will be above it just naturally so that's essentially and that's when he was like i'm not hearing a formula oh boy well i like i accept science i'm not a denier yeah but i don't think it's cute i don't like this sort of like yeah mic drop science

and like i can't prove any of these things yeah but that's not for me to do i just implicitly trust the scientists yeah i get it where maybe they feel like oh i'm being hoodwinked i just blindly i'm accepting some sort of dogma whether it's science or otherwise, like I'm challenging it. You know what? There is no sun. You're like, oh, come on.

I think, you know, there are certain things we can all just take like science figured this out. I believe it. The Pope believes it. But what about these people? Uh, this kind of new wing of,

uh, conspiracy of the flat earth. Yeah. Like why is that? The, the earth's flat, not round what what what what so their their thinking is that it's been uh do you know more about this like they think it's been a whole like it at some point when science committed to the round earth then there was money involved and there they got they got too far into it that they couldn't back out but in reality they everyone secretly

knows the earth is flat but it's too far in to go back now from the the people at uh rand mcnally selling all those globes and they i think they think it's like a disc so that yeah like can travel circularly around it and they'll go up in airplanes and say well if you're 35 000 feet off the ground you should see a larger portion of the curvature of the earth if it were curved but look it's totally flat out there and that that's their big scientific like see gotcha and even if you say like uh you know if you have skyscrapers and as you walk away you'll see less and less of the skyscraper as it disappears behind the horizon they say that's not proof right yeah no i i agree with them now mic drop

these mics are on stands it's very hard to drop mic shove down but yeah like uh uh it's it just i don't know why it's suddenly like become so popular i yeah but maybe i assumed that maybe yeah i thought people were joking when it first came out. Like, oh, okay, that's very funny. Like, that's what people thought. I mean, I attribute all of this, like, climate change denial to desperation. Like, the truth is so awful. Can we please come up with an alternate thing? But round Earth is fine.

I know, but it's... I don't know. It's uh uh but yeah like uh if i had a conversation with somebody they would come equipped with all sorts of arguments and i would be like the horizon like that's all i would have there's just i want to see what does the edge look like and what's the underside and what happens if you like reach the edge? Yeah. Because that's what they used to think. You would reach the edge and then just fall off. Yeah. That's what they used to think.

Yeah. Shel Silverstein. But even back, I think when we were kids, they taught us that Christopher Columbus was the only one who knew the world was round. And everyone else thought he would sail off the end of the world. Yeah, yeah. But that wasn't true. sail off the end of the world. Yeah, yeah. But that wasn't true. No. People knew it back then.

Yeah. And he didn't know where he was going. And that's why America. He just wanted to be awful somewhere. Yeah, didn't he? That's right. That had to have been the greatest feeling, though, when he did see land. Because for so many days, you're like, I'm an idiot.

Oh, God, they were right. We're all going to die out here. These people are going to die. And then you see land. You're like, I knew it. Knew it the whole time. You idiot. We're in America.

Well, not quite. Yeah. Or India. You guys are all Indians. Yeah, exactly. Oh, man. I hope that was a civil conversation like oh that's cute you think that we're actually uh we belong to this tribe and it's not that's not the name yeah sure thing idiot just on he went did i i don't really know anything about uh the story of christopher

columbus like did he come okay in 1492. Yeah. He sailed the ocean. Oh, I want to say. Green? Yeah. I mean, different parts are different colors. But did he, when he landed in America, then did he go back to. Yeah. I think.

He brought spices. Or wherever he was from. Well, I think he was from Italy but he was represented in Spain they drafted him in the explorer draft yeah and then yeah spices I guess

oh man it's crazy how many things were because of spices like I don't even think about spices. But back then, they were like, go leave your family, and we're going to wage war because that place has salt. Yeah. And we're like, well, this chicken could use a little something. Go fight a continent.

Yeah. This material's not... Go find a continent. Yeah. This material is not... Go find some silk. Something silky for me to wear. I need a new pashmina. But yeah, I don't know. I think we all take spices for granted. Absolutely. I feel so much more connected to paprika and things like that now. Like the countless wars. Yeah. Absolutely. I feel so much we're connected to paprika and things like that now.

Like the countless wars. Yeah. Yeah. Also, how many spices do you think you use? Like, not enough to fill up a ship.

We just have bags and bags full. No, that is an interesting question because I own maybe 30 jars of spices and I use

maybe five. Yeah. Like, because I, cause I, I, cause I had one recipe once that needed like Jamaican all spice. Yeah. Human people.

Oh, I go through cumin a lot. Really? Yeah. Oh man. I go through a lot of Rosemary. I don't know why, but it seems to go with a lot.

I use oregano to sell, uh, to high schoolers and tell them it's weed. Nice. Smart. That's just good business. But like, have you ever gone like, you know, to the bulk section where they have all these spices and you're like, what?

Like, what are all these spices? Yeah, I mean, just bringing back that amount on a ship to give everyone like a pinch full. Yeah. I need a little bit of cinnamon on my latte good news we killed hundreds of people there you go yeah oh cozy well i mean i know people are gonna write people to write. The podcast listener is going to write us and say, actually, salt was quite valuable in curing meat.

Right, sure. Making it through the winter. Yeah. But, you know. But we are making jokes. Yeah, we're just having fun. Mic drop. Dave, what's going on with you, man?

I'll tell you what's going on with you man I'll tell you what's going on If you may have witnessed this in my house But we are at peak Pile season Now tell me all about this You have piles I've got hemorrhoids is that what that is I don't know

All throughout my house there are piles of clothes Right Because We've reached capacity of piles because we have the two daughters yeah and uh abby and i and so there's always like a pile of clothes of just dirty clothes a pile of clothes that have just been cleaned a pile of clothes that are now that we're in springtime like these are last season's clothes right so we're i'm preparing this pile to be put away somewhere.

This pile of clothes is coming into rotation. She's grown out of this pile, but they're the right temperature. So maybe the young one will grow into them. Right. So I'm constantly stepping around piles and asking about what's happening with what. Is there a thought about maybe putting them in a box a box or something yeah there's a thought tour i think sort of towards as we approach summer it'll be yeah time to box up the old time to box up the old and i don't know off i mean obviously it's just me at uh graham incorporated. But I don't have a rotation.

It's all in the same, you know, like I'll just have, you know, those socks that are short so you can wear them with shorts. They're just in there through the winter. And they're an option. Like I'll wear them in the winter. Why not? Yeah. Get a cold ankle. So it sounds like the wardrobe in the entire household really gets a full shift.

Well, personally, I really just have winter coats I put away. Right. And summer coats or springtime coats that I bring out. And my, like, pants drawer isn't big enough for all of my pants. So, like, summertime rolls around. See you later, Corduroy. Yeah, that's true. Corduroy is never gonna

make an appearance no matter how much the temperature dips like oh really well no in the summer oh yeah you would never wear i'll wear them year round you'll wear corduroy year round absolutely absolutely wow where did you grow up uh nevada oh i see no fashion sense of any sort no practicality but so the the heat doesn't uh because I feel like the heat of a corduroy pant. To me, all pants are unpleasant when it's hot. Yeah. Like I'll be in shorts and or like. Or not untrue.

I very rarely wear like a nice linen pant. Like, ooh, this breeze is really treating me nice, you know? Yeah. But it's a lie. Linen's a lie. Is it? Yeah. People tell you it's, that it's going to be breezy, you know? Yeah. But it's a lie. Linen's a lie. Is it? Yeah, people tell you that it's going to be breezy,

but it's still. But when you see people wearing them, they do look, like, comfortable and casual. But, like, you do sweat in them, and then they're wet, and then there's just, like, a big clump of flax.

What do you guys go with as a summer pant? If it's not jeans? How's that better than corduroy? No, jeans are too yeah too much yeah jeans are brutal uh like a khaki like a chino chino okay yeah if i absolutely have to wear a pant in the summer i'll go with a chino or just anything that's a cotton just anything that's 100 cotton i bought some old man pants like they you know that color of blue that old

like industrial kind of products used to have like they don't make blue electronics anymore kind of like uh yeah i don't like that color yeah very similar to that yeah a wash denim shirt yeah and it's that that color but they also have like an elastic in the waistband i was like oh these are the oldest man pants and i am buying them and i put them on and they were the coziest nice yeah really really nice but i could see how when you're like when did you start dressing like an old man i get it now yeah yeah i just dive right into comfort i think i've seen uh like sweatpants make a resurgence yeah and uh and you see them on like young fit guys yeah and with like sort of like slim sweatpants you're like oh those kind of look good but i think on like a schlubby guy you're still

just wearing sweatpants and also i feel like like sweatpants are, they're just another, that's like wearing a blanket. Oh, yeah, in the summer, yeah, no. That's brutal. So, you know, it's all, but you're in sunny times all the time. Pretty much, yeah. People the opposite of here get excited for that month or two with,

I gotta wear my jackets now. Yeah, but do you wear jeans all the time down there, or what are you, what kind of pants are're wearing right now? I have a bit of a Chino kind of a pant now. So that's a year round pretty much. I also feel like when it's really cold, I could still wear these. I guess I don't put enough thought into my pant wear. Well, no, I think you put about.

Yeah. My legs are never really. Yeah. Cold. They're often too hot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My feet are the valve too cold. They're often too hot. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My feet are the valve for the whole leg system.

Yeah, exactly. You might have the right sock-shoe combo. Any covering beyond that's optional. Are you a guy that will wear a sandal? Yeah, I'll wear flip-flops in spite of the constant negative associations with them. I still feel like they're delightful. But your top portion, J.Crew will sell you five things to wear at once. They want you to layer it, but there's no bottom layers.

No, that's, yeah, I mean. They tried those zip-off guys guys i had a pair of those it seemed like a great idea but i mean who's carrying like riding the bus with two shin shin elements my shin coverings and i will be joining do i need to buy a second seat for my shin elements i mean yeah there wasn't an option like zip them off your pants wear one as a hat and the other one turns into a purse like there was i mean there could have been there could have been yeah but i i had them and the thing was the trick to them was it they were always too hot and they just became permanent short. Yeah. They never. With the zipper that clangs against your knee. Yeah.

And once when I was walking, it was like, I wonder if, and I unzipped them halfway to like just get some ventilation. Didn't work. I feel like a lot of the looks on passing strangers faces was like,

that guy's pants are broken. Were they, was it your knees poking yeah yeah just picturing a guy stopping as if like in you know an 80s thing where they to blow up the shoes it was you like this will solve it yeah here i go all the steam escapes that man just solved some problems for himself where can i get those pants from shin elements so yes i'm in a constant state of clothing flux well i'm personally not i've got myself down pretty pretty well but the uh but the transition seems to just be giving you fits.

Well, it's not my personal transition. It's the children's. That's where the piles are. So your cords go into a box. They are stored and ready for next year. I'll see you in October. They'll be gone until November, as Wyclef once told me. Here's a question that I legitimately was thinking the other day, because I have a couple things

that are like a winter coat. How do you store them? Do you put them them in a something or you have an extra closet no but like do you put them in a bag or something oh yeah one of those yeah because i'm always worried that i'm gonna put it away in a box and then i open it up and like just every bug's been eating them yeah i uh i've heard like you can put their cedar blocks you can put in the pockets And moths hate the smell of cedar They're the only ones Cedar's so nice But the other thing is

Past guest Pat Kelly was telling me That they He and his wife have a dog And they put their winter coats away But they forgot they had some dog treats in the pocket They came back in the winter and all the pockets had been chewed out by

mice. Oh, man. That's a whole other level I didn't even know to be worried about. Are moms going to eat these? Well, they are going to be fond of those dog treats.

I wouldn't store your clothes with bits of bacon in there. Oh, boy. We never do that with dog treats. But I do at the, like, when I pull out my seasonal clothes or like an old coat, it'll just be packed with like, oh, these dog poop bags that we haven't used in a year. Oh, yeah. The old kind. Yeah, those dog poop bags you like are coming back into style.

Oh boy, I do have a favorite kind. Someone was, I've talked about how I have a favorite kind of dog poop bag. Is it the glove? What is it?

I like the ones that, because the same manufacturer makes two. One that's just a bag with like a flat top and one that has handles. I like the handles because then that's a part

that you, you know, it I like the handles. Right. Because then that's the part that you, you know, it never touches anything questionable. Right. Do you have a dog? No, I do not. I did for a long time, and then he aged out a few years ago. Yeah. That's a nice way to put it.

You got to show on CISO. We never heard from him again. Well, hopefully when you go through your stuff next year, there'll be some treats in there for you. I hope there won't be. I'm a pretty thorough pocket checker after a number of lost things in the wash and things like that. And I kind of bummed out about it.

Because it is nice to go grab a jacket and be like, $5. Feels great. Yeah. Get yourself a footlong. go grab a jacket. Like, $5.

Feels great. Yeah. Get yourself a foot long. The jacket I was wearing last night was my grandfather's. And he still has, like, I just have kept them in the pocket. His,

like, novelty retirement business cards that say, like, no job, no something, no worries. Ah,

that's great. Available for lunch and golf golf and they're still in the in the pocket so that's a fun yeah that's that's fantastic yeah it's fun to keep a little fun thing you know your fidget spinners oh i'm sure next summer people open their like get out their shorts and be like what the the? My cargo shorts are filled with fidget spinners. To the brim. What's going on with you, Monferrer?

So, we were talking about other streaming services besides your Netflix. Uh-oh. We have one in Canada called Crave. And so it's all old television shows. But they have all HBO.

I think that's where you get HBO in Canada. They have all the HBO. And so I was going through their HBO collection. You're a subscriber to Crave? I have a password. And, you know, HBO, it's every single one of their like prestigious shows. And I was like, I want to watch what I assume is the worst show that HBO has ever made. So I watched every episode of Dane Cook's tour gas.

Oh, okay. And, uh, have either of you seen it now? Whoa. It's fascinating. So this was like 2006, 2007. I think it's yeah. How many episodes seen it? No. Oh, it's fascinating. So this was like 2006, 2007? I think it's, yeah. How many episodes is it? Eight.

And it is one episode of content stretched out over eight episodes. And it's a tour documentary of him and a bunch of his friends? Yeah. Three, Gary Goldman. Okay. Robert Kelly. And a guy, I cannot remember his name, but he's an la james something yeah davis is his last name jay davis yeah yeah yeah and so he was like the young guy he's the host and dane's

like mentoring him throughout the uh tour but there's there's almost no conflict in the thing at one point robert kelly yells at jay davis and that was it that's the all the conflict in the thing at one point robert kelly yells at j davis and that was it that's the all the conflict to the point where they had to like play pranks on each other just to get some juice because it was a tour where it was like nothing went wrong we all get along yeah the crowds were great everybody got paid robert kelly hurt his knee at one point but it's like stand up like he doesn't uh he doesn't run around on the stage or anything. How did he hurt it? Not on stage.

No, I think they were playing paintball. There's a lot of that. It's like, we're in Denver, so we went co-karting. What was the compulsion? Have you seen Deadwood and The Wire? Yeah, yeah. Have you seen all of Real Sex? I just had it on in the background because I don't want to put on something that's, that's the problem with television that's, like, so good is that you have to sit there and watch it.

Yeah. But, like, with a tourgasm, you can just turn it on and i could just go leave i could just leave the house i don't feel bad we never had this problem during the silver age of television we could look at our phones the whole time how long is each uh gasm uh like half an hour oh yeah and and uh i also like you i kind of forgot what a big deal Dane Cook was. Dane Cook was, yeah. And this is before he was, like, at Madison Square Gardens or whatever. So this is all universities and theaters.

But, like, they don't do any, like, how did you get here, Dane? Like, they don't do anything that would be. I remember people hated him. Yeah. There was an immediate backlash to his success. Yeah. Yeah, because he was the first guy to use... MySpace.

MySpace, yeah. And I know a lot of comedians were like, a real comedian wouldn't use MySpace. And now, that's all comedians do is MySpace. And there was like, every little thing about him was questionable. He says he's 34. He's actually 38.

Yeah. You don't get that good at comedy. He's 34. But yeah, they were all on a tour bus together. And I think that the producers were like, that'll create some conflict. It doesn't. Like they're all just good pals having fun. Yeah yeah it was kind of like a real life entourage that's kind of that's kind of how it ended up being but uh it was a weird time capsule because you're like yeah i guess

this was what this is what people want everybody has frosted tips there's so many frosted tips in it and uh i feel like there was a you know a lot of people in the audience, Puka shell necklaces. Yeah. An all Von Dutch hat audience. This feels like it would, what, 2006? Yeah. I think of that era like prior to that, the Puka shell phase. Oh, really?

Was those six the really? I don't know. Maybe different parts of the country. Maybe. What was, were tap out shirts big at the time? I feel like this was just before things got real sparkly. Okay. Because Jane, or Jane Cook.

Jane the Virgin? Jane the Virgin? He wore really like glittery pants, I feel like. You got it. But not in this. This is, he was wearing like glittery, uh, pants. I feel like you got it, but not in this. This is, he was wearing. Oh my God. In the summertime. Can you imagine a little bit of like a layer of glitter weighing your jeans down?

Yeah. Just some run. The rhinestones really keep the heat. Um, but yeah. Have you ever gone on a tour in a bus? No, I've always wanted to though yeah yeah i don't know why i think it'd be fun i kind of think it would be fun but maybe yeah someone else doing the drive-in and it just feels to me like the most roadsy i don't know if it's from like uh

i don't know didn't like hockey clubs used to travel that way? AAA baseball teams. Oh yeah. Like in bands, like I don't know. They prank each other. Yeah. A lot of like hours of monotony and yeah. Yeah. Pranks. Also probably like now,

like a lot of like fun video games. Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's all just like looking at your phone and. Yeah. Yeah. Playing video games. I'd much rather do that than wait in line at airports and all that sort of stuff. That's true. I mean like the idea of like doing a show than just going to sleep and then

waking up in yeah the next town that's pretty cool yeah i would love it and yeah having the opportunity for like fun little pranks i guess that is maybe i'm writing off this whole tourgasm experience too too fast you know maybe, maybe this was the perfect tour. Because, yeah, none of them had to drive the bus. No. It was just like. You're driving right now, aren't you? Yeah, I'm driving myself.

And you played here last night. You're playing Portland tonight. So we do have a hard out. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. But how long is the drive to Portland? It's supposed to be like five and a half, but everyone was telling it's usually more like six. Okay. Not crazy. Yeah. But how long is the drive to Portland? It's supposed to be like five and a half, but everyone was telling it's usually more like six.

Okay. Not crazy. Yeah. So yeah, I mean that those day, that's like the max you want to do, I think. And if I had a bus,

oh man, I'd be sleeping in the back instead of just the drive. Like, you don't, you think you're just sitting there, but like you're all your brain is doing the whole time. It's going, is that death?

Is that death? Yeah. It's just like, you're so exhausted at the end? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so loud. It's just like you're so exhausted at the end. Like why? I was just sitting. I think it's just the mental. And then you get there.

Like you'll be hitting the stage tonight and then you'll still be like stretching your legs as you get on stage. Yeah. Yeah, which I, there used to be, I don't know if you've seen a lot of this, but comedians, if they see a comedian stretching before a show, it's similar to the Dane Cook using MySpace. Like, what the hell is he doing? Stretching? This is a fucking prize fight.

And, but I have to stretch out or like my whole back will seize up. Yeah. So I'm just like limbering up before each show and then trying to like,

you know. But like you're not, you know, you're not, you know, doing smelling salts or anything. Yeah. Shadow box.

I'm not shadow boxing over there. Yeah, no, there's not, it does. It feels like, yeah, like you're still just wiping the crumbs from like a donut you ate five hours ago on the road off of your lap.

As you're, as you're heading to the stage. Oh, you have to wipe your armpits with, they put in mints like this and I fool them this is show business don't touch me don't get near me there's a

can I get a hug no I've been driving there's a Canadian musician called he's passed away but Stompin Tom Connors oh yeah he came up last night evidently he did conan and i did yeah i was i i loved that that no one in the states knows who stomping tom is he refused

to work in the states he just wouldn't do it and he also i was reading his autobiography uh like even at the peak of his fame he had like several buses that would travel from town he always drove the head bus even though they were like they're like you just did a show like go sleep and he was like drinking coffee and he's like let's go let's go that's maniacal and his whole thing did they tell you what his like signature he put a block down and stomped the hell out of it right and then then once he'd kick through the the board end of show oh so he broke the board always yeah that's why he had to put the board down because he would ruin stages my god because he had these like, really kind of angular cowboy boots.

He also played guitar. Like it wasn't just, that wasn't his instrument. It was not the stomp. Is that him in your house? Yeah, he's banging on the side of the house. Yeah, he's our handyman. So yeah, stomp and stomp, when are you coming over? I had never heard that he broke

the board yeah like mid song alright that's it yeah I'll never find out what happened in the third period

oh boy between the gas pedal on a bus and stomping the shit out of the the right leg on this guy just just masked well his mother was a horse on a bus and stomping the shit out of the right leg on this guy. Just

just masked. Well his mother was a horse. Well you need to understand about Tom. Oh this ties it all together. This ties he had that

quarter horse front right leg. Yup. Well his parents had sex in one of those horse costumes. Yeah. With the one half

and the front half. Do we want to move on to a little bit of business sure life can be fun don't get carried away you gotta do the things you don't want to do to get through the day you gotta shine your shoes you gotta sweep the floor you gotta clean your house you gotta do some more. Take care of business. Hi everybody. We have a Jumbotron message. Now this is a message that's been sent by Leanne, I think. Is that what we agreed is the pronunciation?

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That's a really nice message. Why wouldn't they listen this far into the podcast? If they listen together. I mean, I i've i've been to our live shows and there are a lot of uh members of couples who are dragged along yeah that's true i have been to our live shows that's true um now if you are someone who wants to have a jumbotron message just like that on our podcast it's not too hard it's so easy you go to maximum fun.org

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Two episodes a week, all summer. Subscribe now and tell somebody. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which we hear funny things out there in the world. Then we share them because sharing is fun. We always like to start with the guests. Oh, wonderful. Well, I'll preface it with this one that I, to me, will always be funny.

My girlfriend and i were like sitting and eating in an in and out one time and these women were there of varying degrees of health they were having sort of a conference as if they had met and thanks for all being here chatting about health and then they uh were passing around like what a good snack is and one and both we my girlfriend i clearly as we left like did you hear what that woman said yeah they were chatting. You know what I like to carry around? Nacho cheese.

And then the conversation just moved on. And we thought that was the funniest and best thing. And it wasn't until months later where we were like, oh, she said nuts and cheese. But you both heard nacho. We both distinctly heard nacho cheese and they just moved on. Because I was picturing her with like a plastic bag of the squeeze.

Oh, no, I was picturing her with like the pre-shredded. No, I was picturing like a thing of cheese whiz. The pump cheese. Yeah, that's totally what we... In my mind, it was like a Ziploc baggie that she could dip two fingers in and just sort of get some whiz. While she's driving?

Yeah. Just a quick on the go, because they had been talking about like nutrients and, you know, and a lot of them were sort of weirdly, you know, it's at the time, it didn't seem that crazy. Like, wow, this is, they are at In-N-Out talking about fitness. I guess nuts and cheese. I mean, yeah, they say nuts are like the best snack thing. Right. So, yeah. And cheese, I guess, is good too.

But the other day, I heard this happen. Why are nuts so good? Why is everybody? They're like, they can fill you up. They're very satisfying without you know a lot of uh junk in them or whatever yeah the good i don't know a scientist said it once i didn't question it good natural fats uh the other day i was at a show and a and a comedian so i overheard sort of the tail end of something i I didn't know the, my first thought was like,

this must be a bit that's going on. Or I didn't know either of the people involved, but it was a guy who was a cool, like cool guy. And he was chatting with people and he was like boisterous enough to say this loud enough where it caught my attention. And he went, Hey,

good to see you, man. Can you hold on just a second? And that's where I came in. I looked over and then, so he was seated, the guy saying this and a friend of his or someone had just arrived and was standing there sort of with the body language of like,

okay, yeah, I guess you've got other stuff to do. And then the loud guy turned to his friends and went, um, um, and no parties involved thought that was odd in it was not a bit of any sort he just to me i was like this is the i haven't seen anything this funny in a long time

he's like please hold while i uh i'm just rebooting you bro but give me a second and none of his friends reminded him like oh you oh, you were in the middle of that story about the war or whatever. Yeah, they're just letting him, like, struggle it out. Come on, brain. Come on, don't be an idiot. I have that all the time where I'm just like, I know what I'm going to say until I start to talk. Oh, I should go to the other room and tell Abby this. And then the moment I get in the room

I'm like no I lost it or the worst is like I wanted to check something on my phone the moment I turn my phone on what did I want to check sometimes I'll be in the middle of a sentence and then I'll be like what the fuck are we talking about

like my brain is just like boop I was going through a phase where I was losing stuff all the time so I start and this does help I would take things

and go I am putting this pin into this drawer and just say it out loud into the world which if anyone ever comes in and sees it

I just look like such a lunatic but it helps your upstairs neighbor is like he's blind he's blind. He's writing his audio biography.

He's dictating to someone who is very quiet. But a really boring story about putting a pen in a drawer. Dave, do you have another one? My autobiography starts today. About things happening right now. People are going to want to know all of these details. Yeah. It's just going to be about this month in my life.

Um, uh, so I was in the grocery store yesterday and there was this mother with like two daughters, an eight year old and a 10-old, I'm guessing. And that thing where you're a parent or you're a kid and your parent has something to do specifically in the grocery store and you're just being annoying. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the sweet spot. Like, why is my mom ignoring me?

Even though I've made five statements in the past 20 seconds, she's ignored all of them. And the little kid goes, looks at the bakery part, and she looks at the macaroons and says, I've never had a macaroon before. And in my mind, I'm thinking, oh yeah, well, the grocery store

makes the best ones. You gotta, if you're gonna have one, start with the grocery store bakery. They make all the best baked goods. But then the little girl didn't get a reaction and then she just said, Mom, just saying, when I'm older,

I'm going to buy a lot of these. And just pointed to everything in the bakery section. And then Mother said nothing and I did a little bit more grocery shopping and I ran into them again. And I just heard the mother say, you can have or later you can have one of these.

And the kid goes, what are those? She says, Melba toast crackers. Oh, boy. That sounds terrible. Yeah. I know you've tried bread, but. Yeah. Tiny and hard.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're such a crust enthusiast. Yeah. Now that you've got your adult teeth. Let's break them. Yeah. A friend of mine was at a grocery store once with a little kid, you know, legs kicking out the back of the shopping cart in the checkout aisle.

And he heard the kid go, I have an idea. I like candy. Good idea, kid. We don't, as parents, we don't do a good enough job of withholding things. Because we're like, I'll be pushing her with her legs kicking out. Look over there. I'm getting some ice cream for me. her with her legs kicking out and like look over there i'm getting some ice cream for me like i think my parents did a pretty good job of like making separate trips to buy candy for

themselves yeah also my mom had a very clever system of like hiding chocolate like it was her chocolate inside of things that she knew we would never open yeah smart yeah like a box of you know tampons yeah no i was always in that yeah i liked pretending i was smoking cig starbucks and uh this girl teenage girl just got her giant uh blended tea drink and uh was looking at her phone and she misstepped and just like fell like flat on her face in the parking lot and it was one of these situations where there were so many people around trying to help like there was automatically like six people around her like i got her phone before it slid into the sewer grate and there was

somebody else was on t and somebody else was picking up her earbuds and you know and she was so mortified of course because like if you fall you want to be invisible exactly and uh she kind of gave her head a shake and we gave her back all her stuff and all the other people except for me were all seniors that were trying to help her and as she walked away they said almost in unison teenagers always falling down. That proves gravity right there. But yeah, there were so many people on the scene. I thought you were going to say, oh, she fell in the parking lot and a car backed over her head.

Popped open like a melon. I pictured you making a heroic dive to save that phone. Like a melon. I pictured you like making a heroic dive to save that phone. Oh no, it wasn't a dive, but it skidded and then it was just kind of on the precipice. Yeah. Dropped her backpack, marbles fell out everywhere. These two people who are on their way to rob a house.

One guy had an iron outline on his face. Now we also have overheards that have been sent in from people around the world. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. And the first one comes from Bridget, the Australian librarian. That's how she calls it. That doesn't rhyme. No, I know. Yeah.

Australian librarian. Maybe I know. Yeah. Australian librarian. Maybe an Australian. Australian. The other day, I was in a Taiwanese tea shop in Brisbane, Australia with a friend, and I saw an elegant Chinese woman, probably in her late 30s, walk in with two others. It's so hard to tell. Oh, I know. With them. The woman had long, shiny, wavy hair, sunglasses on top of her head, and a designer purse in the crook of her arm. She was wearing a mid-length, black, form-fitting dress, which, in popular Taiwanese fashion, had a smattering of English words on it.

The words were beauty-related, like mascara and lipstick. But also, to my personal surprise and delight, the dress featured the words, Asshole Sponge. Bless whoever made that dress. These assholes can't read. Slap it on there. Say yes to the Asshole Sponge dress assholes well you don't know is it someone who did it on purpose like an english-speaking person who you know made the design yeah well

and also is it someone who had didn't know better and just yeah like chose some words also is it possible that we all just haven't been using a product that is widely available elsewhere in the world that why aren't we using an asshole sponge? So much water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it's good for the environment. They put that sponge back in the ocean when you're done with it. And more than anything

it's nothing to be embarrassed of. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, that's right. If you go and buy them at the pharmacy. Price check on asshole sponges. How much are these asshole sponges? I'm sick of... This next one comes from Nicole T. in Pittsburgh.

Do you ever feel not so fresh? Yeah, all the time. Not my asshole, really. Oh. You should use... I don't know. I guess the word is sponge? Yeah. All the time. Only my asshole, really. Oh. You should use... I don't know. I guess the word is sponge. Yeah.

Some sort of sponge. I use a cloth. Should I switch to sponges? Absolutely. I just... I don't want to treat yourself. I've been swabbing mine. That takes too long, swabs.

Yeah, those swabs. Hard to dispose of. Sponge. One go and away you go. Off to the baseball game. Oh, you don't keep it in there? Maybe you do. Keep it there?

Keep it in? Or just like attached with straps? Or held in place with wings? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is Nicole T. from Pittsburgh. I was at a Pittsburgh Pirates game and couldn't help overhearing the guy next to me trying to impress his friends with his apparent connections. Guy, I'm on a first name basis with the churro guy.

Her. Oh, yeah? Guy, yeah. His name is Joey the churro guy. Yeah. Yeah. I guess. I mean, I don't know any churro guys so you know what i use as a nice

healthy snack churros i carry them around with me everywhere just hanging out of the purse where do you get yours joey yeah of course joey uh do you do churros i've never seen them being made are they are they come do they come out of a tube? Oh, yeah. Good question. Deep fried. And if so, is there, could you make a never-ending churro? Oh, yeah.

And if so, will that, is that the flatter? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I know time's a flat, sir. I had a churro within the last year, and the cart is set up to show them, like, battering it and sort of deep frying it or whatever. But I don't remember the,

the Play-Doh sort of factory creation. Yeah. Damn. Well, you know what? Another trip to the churro truck. There's a guy who goes through a lot of cinnamon. Who?

Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, that guy doesn't take any. Wars cause for churros. He gets the bulk. He gets the Kirkland. Yeah, but that's a war that we could all, if that was happening today, we would all enlist.

Yeah, the churro war? Yeah. The great churro wars. I have to come out and say, just keep in mind, this is for churros. This is for delicious, delicious churros. Yes, we know. This will be our Independence Day. Aliens are coming to steal our churros.

Look, I may not like your churros, but I'll fight to the death for your right to eat them. I may be two a year, and yet I would absolutely. Are you kidding me? If somebody tried to take away my churros? Hands off my churros. These churros

don't run. Don't churro on me uh this last one comes from logan d in juliet georgia uh we voted for wait a minute oh we voted for superlatives in my department at work and the king of imaging imaging being my department at work was walking by my neighbor's desk with this goofy king hat on which is i think a play on paul f tonkin's joke uh my neighbor said you know what you look like you look like that king who was it iman or something you know he wore a big funny hat and was a mass murdering king in the 80s. Later realized she was talking about Vlad the Impaler. The 80s? Yeah.

Yeah, it was the same time as New Coke. He wore like a members only jacket. Constantly impaling. Yeah. Yeah. He couldantly impaling. Yeah. Yeah. You could smoke in restaurants. Anyways. And like a wood paneled coffin.

In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls if you would like to call us. It's so easy. Guys, you just got to type in these numbers that you have memorized. And so do I. They are 1-844-779-7631. Or 1-UGH-SPYPOD-1. Like these people have. I wonder if my parents still have that bag of marbles.

Just can't stop. That was an hour ago, Graham. Is that the same? What's that? Who was the kid? Toby? Oh, Brodydy brody yeah i mean he didn't take all of your marbles you got out of school with yeah i had i had i definitely had some leftover i like don't want to use them for anything just want to see them just want to

visit them i bet you they still have them nice hello dave graham and probable guests hello this Nice. son, if you don't stop misbehaving, I'm going to delete Moana. And his son just glares at him and says, Daddy, if you don't start being nice to me, I'm going to delete the news. That's the thing that you like. That's your favorite movie. Yeah, that's like when

Buster Bluth destroys all of the dishes because he thinks that the housekeeper that's her favorite thing but it is a thing when you're a kid you're like why are they watching this boring show all the time yeah i think that kid's gonna make it in the world just prepared instantly with a pretty solid like listen like i've got some ammunition as well yeah i know what you like yeah also uh if he deletes uh moana or whatever it's called uh what is that kid gonna what are you gonna play with that kid for a whole hour and a half right that could be eaten up by watching more.

Yeah. That's a, that's a real bluff. That dad was trying to pull. And we, we've gotten into threats. It's mostly like, uh,

instead of reading four stories before bed, we're going to do three. Oh, okay. And then you, you slowly whittle them down. Yeah. One story only.

And it's going to be from the news. Here's your next phone call. Hi, Dave, Graham, and possible guest. This is Anna calling from Vancouver. I was just in one of Vancouver's board game bars and overheard a group of people at the table next to me playing some kind of trivia game. And one woman pulled a card and asked the table

who directed Clint Eastwood in his spaghetti westerns and one of the guys said hmm Antonio Bandanas oh man every part of it was wrong that's uh I mean do you get points for guessing or is it like one of those situations

where if you guess so wrong like we're taking away oh yeah yeah um i always hated that in like was it in standardized tests where they would like guessing would yeah would work against you yeah right oh yeah yeah oh boy i have nightmares about those yeah or you're being chased by a scantron i just remember like just that feeling of even though i'd like studied or whatever just going in and like they're like you're not allowed to leave for an hour and a half like you have to stay here for a minimum amount of time you just drank all that coffee right before yeah and if you gotta go to the bathroom you have to go like somebody has to walk you to the bathroom it's just like oh so terrible yeah and that's a real taste of prison yeah because kids had come up with cheating like i like now i guess people just aren't allowed their phone

because that's all anyone would cheat with. Yeah. But I guess people maybe had like folded up paper that they were worried about. Or you know. Pulling out of their. Or little notes on the wrist or you know things like that or just even just the old

classic peering over the shoulder. But what would they be worried about you, between you and the bathroom? Something, you pulling something out of your pants with answers on it? Yeah, or like, or, you know, just really making a mess of the bathroom when nobody else is around. Aha, the perfect crime. Anyway, Antonio Bandanas, everyone. Here's your final overheard. Hey, boys.

My name's Cara from Philly, and I'm a sushi chef. I am a sushi chef. And this little kid, like five or six years old, was wearing a gi karate uniform and kept going, hey, mommy, guess what? Hi-yah! And kicking her like five or six times. And then she goes, stop that, Amir.ir he said you call me master not here hey mom guess what i'm gonna karate chop the news

might have been the same kid uh yeah uh he couldn't quite get sushi chef out yeah right like it is hard to say but i feel like if that's your career. It is a bit of a tongue twister, sushi chef. I'm a sushi, anyways, I gotta go. I roll up fish. Well,

that brings us to the end of the podcast. David, thank you so much for being our guest. Gentlemen, thank you for having me.

Do you have things, this is going to come out the last Monday in June. Oh, okay. Do you have things uh this is going to come out uh the last monday in june oh okay do you have anything coming up in july no no but i'll be hibernating for july but then in all of august i'll be in edinburgh for the fringe yeah yeah if anyone's over there uh what's the name of your show it's called big nothingness and it's me performing with some animation happening uh probably behind me near me yeah you haven't seen the theater yeah yeah you might have to bring in a tv just on wheels like a high school oh yeah strapped to the yeah um what is this your first

time in edinburgh yeah yeah so i'm pretty nervous as far as like all the logistics finding a place to stay getting my way around even just putting the stand-up material i i will be able to do that so even have to sleep on the street i at least can show up won't have to sleep on the street yeah i'll find a place the uh but i saw the show that without the animation last night very funny so anybody is in edinburgh this summer check out uh big nothingness yeah and also your podcast yeah space cave me and scientists having beers chatting about uh you know what they know about in the world sure their areas of expertise cool yeah and you're on Twitter as well. Oh yeah.

DavidHuntsberger.com. I have links to all that stuff. I'm not very effective or, uh, worthwhile on Twitter. But just, you know, tweet him your phone number.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he'll give you, he'll give you a wrinkle. Yeah, I'll call you. Um,

and, uh, you listeners out there, uh, I'll be in Toronto at the Toronto fringeonto fringe uh doing a show called graham clark all july most of july yeah i'll be in toronto and then in winnipeg and anything else we gotta well i'll we'll be in toronto together next week but oh yeah but that's sold out baby no second show was added is that right that's as I know. Okay, I'll book my ticket then. But you know,

stand outside of the artist entrance and really catch us in a paparazzi moment. Oh, sure. Although we didn't... It sold out and I was happy about that. But it sold out in enough time that I was never like... No one was ever like,

Oh darn, I didn't get tickets. Guys, can you get me in? And if you like the show head over to maximumfun.org check out the blog recap pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast snakes and ladders maybe oh sure shoots was it shoot yeah depending kerplunk definitely kerplunk yeah um you know vlad the impaler hat you wear some sort of hat in the 80s section 80s vampire uh and and the like and uh thank you all for listening if you like the show tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself MaximumFun.org

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