Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 49 - Bita Joudaki

Episode Date: February 9, 2009

Comedian and improvisor Bita Joudaki joins us for a gigglefest, some Degrassi talk, and a rating of contemporary pop stars.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody. Welcome to episode number 49 of Stop Podcasting Yourself, one short of the Big Five Zero. And you are listening to the first podcast that we've recorded over 100,000 downloads. Yeah.

We watched it click over, and we're very, very proud of ourselves. That's a landmark. Yeah, it's a landmark. I're very, very proud of ourselves. That's a landmark. Yeah, it's a landmark. I don't know how proud we are. Well, Dave's got other things going on in his life, but I do not. And this is like having octuplets to me. My name's Graham Clark, and joining me, as always, is the man Time Magazine called one of the top 25 podcasters to watch in 2009, Dave Shumka. People might believe they actually said that. That's believable.

Oh, I usually throw out something that's unbelievable. Something about Lady Gaga? How about this? My co-host, as usual, the man that they suspect might be the father of the beluga whale the new beluga whale dave schumke yeah that's unbelievable how could you be the father and then i usually add something like yeah i fucked a beluga whale do you want to go for a third one? No. No? I mean, yes. Okay. And with me, as always, is Dave Shumka, the only man to run three consecutive races at the Hastings horse racing track. Dave Shumka.

This is exhausting. It is exhausting. This is more exhausting than running three races at a horse track. Ah, you did it! And joining us today, our guest, very funny lady. How would you describe me? Comedian? Yeah.

Performer? Improviser, I guess. Improviser? Kind of, yeah. Bita Judaki, thank you for joining us. Thank you. So, you've listened to the show, you know how it goes. Yes.

First thing we like to do, get to know us. Get to know us. Yes. I like that. Yes. I like that a lot. So, Bita, so much to talk about. So laughy.

So laughy. This is going to be the laughiest, giggliest podcast. You're going to have to edit a lot of this shit. I don't know. No, we're going to take your giggles, edit them into other podcasts from the past. Okay, good. So you've got to, this is it. You're on fire right now.

Things are happening. Tuesday. Tuesday. Skipping town. Skipping town. We didn't even know that. No. Just dropped the bomb on us. Tuesday. Tuesday. Skipping down. Skipping down. We didn't even know that. No. Just dropped the bomb on us.

Listen. Tell us about it. I'm sorry about this. But I'm going again. Judaki speaks English. Yes. Yeah, that's right. You wouldn't know.

Let's just speak for her. You're going to Toronto. You're leaving on Tuesday. And you've already gone to Toronto in the past. Moved there. You hated it. So hard. Okay, let's talk about that.

What happened? Okay. Oh, well, everyone. And how long did you live there? Three months. So you went. I went that. What happened? Okay. Oh, well, everyone. And how long did you live there? Three months. Oh. So you went. I went there.

What happened? Why did you come back? Okay. Well, okay. I moved in with this girl. I didn't really know her very well. Everyone who knows me is, I think, rolling their eyes because they've heard this. Right.

But we haven't. Yeah, we haven't. And none of our listeners. We have listeners from around the world. Ottawa. We have a listener in Morocco. Really? She lives in a dirt hut.

She's with the Peace Corps. Are you really? No, no. Is she really? She travels into town once a week. Just to listen to you guys? Well, she downloads a bunch of things on her iPod. She checks her email. Oh my goodness. She does. She lives in a mud hut.

She's a Peace Corps volunteer. That would make you feel very nice. It does feel nice. It would make me feel very nice. It doesn't pay the bills, I'll tell you that. It doesn't pay the bills, though, if you're listening. Yeah. A Peace Corps volunteer. Maybe you could help us out out send us a pine cone she lives in a dirt hut what do they have morocco doesn't have pine trees they're all deciduous prove me wrong dave prove me

wrong um okay what else was wrong with toronto then i got then i got bed bugs which you know are you kidding me yeah i don't know how i got them, because I bought a new bed and everything. But then I got them. You went to a bed bug party. I guess I did, right? Really? So you bought a new bed? From Ikea.

So brand new. Swedish for comments. No, it was delivered in a sealed bag. How was the guy who delivered it? Kind of seedy? He was. Had a dirt cloud swirling around him? He was Polish. He was the guy who delivered it? Kind of seedy? He was... Had like a dirt cloud swirling around him?

He was Polish. He was Polish. Okay. I don't think that plays into it at all, does it? No. I might set him up for a great joke.

Yeah. How many of him did it take to deliver your bed? One. Oh, okay. One. It was just that one guy.

Set up punch. One. It was just that one guy. Set up punch. Okay. Oh, yeah. So I got bed bugs. And then I really wanted to... Oh, this is just... Please. Please.

Come on. Okay. Okay. Well, I just... Okay. And then I wanted to move out of there because I had bed bugs, right? I understand. That's terrible.

I told her and uh she got very mad at me but then the next moment she was super happy no no she just really stayed bad whole time and then i decided to move uh to a new place and then i brought my bed bugs with me to the new place no i threw out the bed really yeah i threw out a lot of stuff oh god i am over this okay yeah yeah this is the past and you moved back to vancouver and it was great yeah toronto's siren call bed bug call um yeah what is it why you came back here yeah yeah whatever whatever and then so what is it about toronto you here? Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Whatever. And then, so what is it about Toronto?

You're like, you didn't give it a fair shake? Well, I think that I would have really liked it if I didn't get bedbugs. All right. You know, I think it was just that. I think that's the city's motto. They have an epidemic, a bedbug epidemic. So does Vancouver. Yeah, sure. To warn you.

I'm not worried. Do I look worried? Well, they're the worst yeah i've heard about it yeah i have friends in new york who got them i have friends in low places yeah and they've all got them um but be to tell us what's the name of the street that you're moving the place the new place that you found you have a place to land a place to land and it's on what street de Degrassi Street. Wow. No. Yeah. How amazing.

That was in the kitchen. It just blew my mind. I think that's a sign that I'm supposed to move back there. Yeah. And also start a band called The Zits. The Zits. Or Downtown Sasquatch. That's from the next generation. The Zit Remedy. But they changed it to

The Zits. When they got older. Yeah. But then Downtown Sasquatch is the new Zit Remedy. But they changed it to the Zits. When they got older. But then Downtown Sasquatch is the new Zit Remedy. Do they have a hit song? I think they won a band thing. Yeah, that's right. They won a battle of the bands. When Paige won a band thing, she sang a song about her being raped. Remember that?

No. Do you guys remember that? No. No, I don guys remember that? No. No, I don't remember that. They got serious on that episode. I have watched zero of The Next Generation. Really? But I'm willing to participate.

You should. The thing that we were discussing in the kitchen just briefly is that it's tough to get into. The first five episodes, it feels rocky. It feels like you want want joey jeremiah there you want snake there but the good thing is they are there they're just adults so he's sad caitlin's there yeah he's a car dealer yeah and he's sad i don't know he ends up with caitlin that's pretty good i guess she was a catch she's the one of that cast that could have made the leap to the previous 90210. Not this new 90210.

Caitlin? Is that what you're saying? Tessa. Yeah, she was pretty. Right? Tessa Campanelli? Yeah. No. She was a hoe. She was a hoe. Yeah, she was a hoe. She was no Jenny Garth. Sure she was a hoe. In terms of prettiness, Jenny Garth isn't a hoe. I remember an episode of Blossom where... Do you remember Blossom?

Yeah, I watched it. Where Six was of Blossom where... Do you remember Blossom? Yeah, I watched it. Where Six was asking Blossom, like, do you think I'm pretty? He's like, yeah, you're pretty. You're Jenny Garth. That was the reference that the writers came up with. You're Jenny Garth pretty. On a scale of one to Shannon Doherty, you're Jenny Garth.

But you know what we were saying? The new, new generation. See, there's the new generation. They've already, they're up. They're out of high school. What? So now there's a new, new. What?

And they're too pretty. They're so, and they always have like sexy situations happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Way more sexy than, like back in the old days. Do they do a lot of sexy dance routines? Arthur would have a wet dream. Yik Yu would tell him to call into the sex show. Nothing sexy going on.

Arthur would buy Yik a glasses holder. Oh, yeah, but then didn't Arthur buy Yik a beret when he went away to France? See, that's really what high school's all about. Unattractiveness in spades. And your parents have drinking problems, and you try to hide it from everyone.

Oh, yeah, that was at the sleepover. Wasn't it? The mom comes home, she's all drunk. And the girl with the swimming, who got her period when she had a swimming tournament. Oh, yeah. Yes. Was that one of the twins? No, it was Skinny.

Man, we're getting bogged down in nostalgia for Degrassi. But who can blame us? It's the best. I remember when I was in grade eight, when we were doing sex education, there was a Degrassi sex education video that they showed us. Degrassi talks about sex? It was Degrassi talks about sex.

About sex. Yeah, I forget. They had different things that they talked about. It was, you know, Degrassi talks about suicide or drugs. Have either of you guys committed suicide? See, we like to dig deep. We got to get at the socially relevant questions. I haven't yet.

No. But congratulations on your... The one little tidbit I picked up is that the locations of all of the new Degrassi is all shot on a soundstage. Really? Yeah. None of the Degrassi was ever shot on Degrassi Street. No, that's true. Just the kids of Degrass Yeah. None of the Degrassi was ever shot on Degrassi Street. No, that's true. Just the kids of Degrassi.

The opening segment was, but nothing else. No, but I pinpointed the school where it was shot, but it's like a huge long subway ride to get there. And nobody wanted to go with me. I called eight different people and I was like, hey, I want to go out to where they shot the exteriors for Degrassi. Nobody wanted to go with me. I called eight different people, and I was like, hey, I want to go out to where they shot the exteriors for Degrassi.

Nobody wanted to. So if I come out to Toronto, that's what we're going to do. Okay. We're going to make a day of that. Yeah, sure. Yeah, we'll bring sandwiches. Maybe an egg salad. I don't know.

Okay, yeah, I like that sandwich. Egg salad sandwich? All right. We'll do that. Graham's got a lot of allergies. I'm allergic to most things. Graham's got a lot of allergies. I'm allergic to most things. He's got to plan his meals months in advance. Oh, really?

Yeah. Yeah, in this case, I have to plan an entire day around the meal. Egg salad feels like a Degrassi trip. I think so. Yeah. Because Degrassi is like a level four allergy for him. Yeah, I'm also allergic to Degrassi. Are you?

Dave, let's get to know you briefly. I didn't mention this last week. We're recording this on a Thursday. We usually record on a Saturday of late. Graham's going to be out of town this weekend. Oh yeah, I'm going to Victoria to bomb at a sports bar.

Okay, cool. It's a repeat performance from the last time I bombed at that sports bar Last week, last Thursday I did something adventurous At 8 o'clock Pacific Key party I participated in the Jeopardy Challenge

What is that? It's the online test that you take If you ever want to be a contestant on Jeopardy. Oh, I know somebody who did that. Was it a contestant or did the online test? Well, they did the online test, and then every once in a while they come to town, and then you go to like a Ramada, and they have it in the conference room, and then you write a written test. And then they put your name in the kind of the larger thing and then they kind of just draw it's a lottery yeah it is uh they they told you they say that if you take the test you

will be selected randomly to uh like if you if you pass the test did you pass i don't know they don't tell you and they don't give you any of the answers i looked up some of them later i think everyone that i answered, I got right, but there were a bunch that I passed on. How, if it's online, do they stop you from looking it up on a Wikipedia? You only get 15 seconds for each question. But if you had a super high-speed connection, and three people around you with laptops, surely.

They don't seem to get faster connections these days. I don't know anyone with a super high speed connection. Well, you don't know the people I run with. But yeah, so yeah, you only get, it's 50 questions, 15 seconds each, and it's so high stress. What was the hardest question? Did you blow it? There were a bunch that I didn't, there were maybe 10 that I passed on out of 50. Do you remember any of them?

There were maybe 10 that I passed on out of 50. Do you remember any of them? I remember there was one. There's the category before and after, where it's like a wordplay thing, where it's like the Vancouver comedian who is Superman's secret identity. It would be Graham Clark Kent. Oh, okay. Wow. I wouldn't have even got that one.

And I'm the answer to it. Every question is a different category, so you have to change your mindset immediately. Oh, man. You're thinking on the fly. But this question was the menswear line where immigrants came to America. And it was Perry Ellis Island. Oh, man. I was pretty happy with myself.

I was thinking Staten Island, Taylor. That's not a thing. Did you ever have a thing where you read the question so much that you ran out of time? That's what would have happened to me. I would have kept going back to the beginning of the question. Wait a minute. Wait, what category is this? And my other favorite category is Rhyme Time.

Oh, and Potent Portables Oh, well, Potent Portables That's a fan favorite I think if this podcast goes well enough I might be on the Celebrity Jeopardy any moment now What do you think is Although the Celebrity Jeopardy, they have to play for a charity What charity would you play for?

I would ask if I could be an exception Bita, what charity would you play for uh i would ask if i could be an exception you know what charity would you play for if you were playing for a charity is this like a funny should it be funny yeah sure it doesn't have to be well if you can come up with something funny it would really help it would certainly help our ratings right right uh any listeners who have a five-year-old at home if you want to rewind the podcast about 20 seconds that's something for the kids yeah um seriously charities who would i play for yeah i don't know uh is that a serious thing we want to talk about seriously no i mean i don't i can't That shows you how much I know about charity

that I can't even name one. A couple years ago... I mean, I'm like, UNICEF? But that wouldn't make a dent. A couple years ago, my parents gave us... Peepy Poo Poo. I think I'll go with Beta's charity. I think that's a great...

It helps a lot of people. Yeah, the Peepy Poo Poo Foundation. My parents gave us money for Christmas, and they said that we had to give like 20% of it to a charity of our choice. And those people at the Peepy Poo Poo Factory... Very gracious. You should have seen the smiles on their faces and the stains on their pants. But Graham, what's going on with you?

Well, a couple things. We're going going on with you well a couple things we're gonna live with it first and foremost lay it on me bro we went and bought some beer tonight you and I we're gonna buy some beer

I was browsing we always go to the same liquor store the employees seem to hate us we're there weekly nothing but attitude at this... We always go to the same liquor store. The employees seem to hate us. We're there weekly. Nothing but attitude. I buy my alcohol in advance and chill it in the fridge. You have to go last minute to a cold beer and wine.

Maybe they think you have a problem and they don't want to encourage you. Yeah, the people at the liquor store don't want to encourage you. But only there once a week. Well, okay, yeah, I guess. That's less than a beer a day. Okay, that's true.

That's enough to help a child. And I'm there with him, too. So if anything, we're a couple. And so we're splitting that six every week. And then we're 69ing. Forget I said anything. But anyways, we go in.

There's two different types of beers Having two different types of promotions You got your Grosch By Grosch Get a Grosch glass A Grosch glass A Grosch glass That's a mouthful

And a Grosch one too And then something else called Whistler Brewing Company And you can win a toque. Not win. You just get one. Yeah. And that's what I'm wearing right now. The toque.

The toque was in the six pack. Yeah. But the glass was not. So I don't know what the glass looks like. Yeah. It could have been something, you know. Ugly. Yeah.

It has a gold. It's very nice. Yeah, the hat's all right. And a toque. Yeah, it's a toque. The way I put it on at first looked like I was some sort of thug. But now I got a dirt bag more than a thug. How about now?

I look like a Radar Riley. Yeah, sure. Yeah, like a la MASH. No, you still look like an undesirable. Really? Man, I was watching myself on a... Because we tape every day at this TV thing now. I've got a lot of forehead to deal with.

Like a lot. You should grow some bangs. Some side sweet bangs. Or something like that. Is that what you got? Is that sidesweet bangs? I'm growing them out, though. Like a Blagojevich.

I like this topical humor. So, Blagojevich. I'm like the opposite. I'm Blagojevich opposite. I have so much for it. It's incredible. Anyways, I was really... It shocked me today how much there's going on.

Tyra Banks. We mentioned your upcoming TV show. Yeah, the City News List. Well, we didn't mention the other people on it. Oh, Charlie Demers. Paul Bay. Former two-time guest and one-time guest Paul Bay. And one-time guest Eric Sigurdsson.

Great. It's going to be a pretty good show, I think. All right. With a lot of my forehead. Like a lot more than you're ever going to need to see. Because you wear a hat day-to-day. But not on the show. I've been going hatless.

I've been trying to develop enough confidence to go hatless, but it's not. Every time I see myself, it's shattering my confidence daily. You should get a rug. But like something really obvious? Yeah. Like a brown-haired one. How about I just wear an Elvis wig? Something like that with sideburns?

Oh, man. You know what hair I want? Samuel L. Jackson in Black Sake mode. Right. That's what I want. You just want giant sideburns. Giant sideburns, but no hair on top. Just the fringe and giant sideburns.

That's what I want. You should, then, if you want it. I can't grow giant sideburns. Why not? Just genetics. Okay, okay. Does anyone care about... No, because my religion prevents it.

Oh, okay. You said the Elvis wake was a possibility. Does anyone give a shit about Elvis anymore? I mean, like, he used to be so iconic and Elvis impersonators. I think a lot of people give a shit about Elvis. Really, still? I had an Elvis phase in grade 9. Yeah, I went through a heavy Elvis phase.

Probably in grade 9, grade 10. Yeah. Yeah, I bought a bunch of his records, watched all of his movies. Oh, they're really good. Favorite Elvis movie? No, I haven't. Nope. Always a cliff diver.

Huh? Check it out. I like the one from the Eddie Murphy joke. We're going to win this race. Oh, that's, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't remember what it's called. But here's the other thing that I'd like to address in short.

You know, you have the floor. How much, and I don't know if Bita, if you're on board with this train. Dave, I'm pretty sure you are. How much do you hate Katy Perry? Like a little bit? Oh, I hate her the most. The most? I think she's the worst. Why do you think she's the worst?

Because she's like gross and I don't know. You know that song by the Gym Class Heroes, the Take a Look at My Girlfriend song? Yeah. It's like about her, I think, because she's dating that guy. It's also about the super tramp. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Enough about that. But that last verse, you know? That was that was about her well he's dating her really but i think she's gross and untalented i think that you're right about those things but also this is the specific problem i have with her is i've i've been lucky enough in my life to be around a lot of females that are very funny right i've just i've been lucky that way current uh company included um you know just coming across but katie perry they keep trying to sell her as like the funny girl right oh she's so funny look at her she

jumps in a cake oh isn't that great she dresses in a silly she's dressed like a banana oh isn't that funny but she's hot she's one of those girls that's like what are you you're boiling oh i'm seething well why are you seething i like her do you pretty lady she wears dresses she's pretty but that's the thing she's funny. She's like when a girl that's really all the time, done up, says something kind of funny at a party, but a lot of guys laugh because they want to sleep with her. She's that, and I hate it. But any musicians like that.

Like, oh, the Barenaked Ladies are so funny. They are funny. No, they're just bald jerks. Dave's against the very good ladies. I think only one of them's bald. I just, she drives me nuts.

Not as much as Lady Gaga. Because Lady Gaga, have you seen an interview with Lady Gaga? You cannot read her. On account of her poker face. She does a thing that I don't know. I think Gwen Stefani might have started this thing where she gets interviewed and she has like two models that just stand in the background.

Harajuku girls. Well, except hers, they both look like... Their names are Love, Angel, Music, and Baby. Well, except hers, they both look like... Their names are Love, Angel, Music, and Baby. But it's either that or she's got a weird ladder behind her. She's always got to do something weird. I hate that as much. She always does this thing where she does the okay symbol, but does it to her eyeball.

Yeah, like this. With her fingers, the circle on her fingers. How weird am I now? That is so crazy. I know. Wow. So those are my two things. I shouldn't get worked up about pop music I don't even listen to.

No. But I feel like I'm being force-fetted a bit. I haven't gone online. I play guitar. Hero. When I was a teenager, I would go online and I'd look up the chords to play songs. And I haven't gone online and looked up a contemporary song, except that hot and cold Katy Perry song. Hot and cold.

Yeah. Yeah. See, it's G, D, A minor. So you're pro Katy Perry. Oh, yeah. Wow. I wouldn't have paid you for it. What do I have to lose? Yeah, that's you for it. What do I have to lose?

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. What do you got to lose? I don't think she will be famous in one year. One year? One year. One year from tonight? From tonight.

Yes. We're recording this on the 5th of February. The 5th of February, 2010. We would like to have you back on the show a year from today. Yeah, although good luck getting a place to stay during the Olympics. Oh, shit.

Okay. Well, my mom lives here. Okay, well, that'll probably... Is your mom an Olympian? Yes. Oh, well, then you'll have the house to yourself. Okay. Do local Olympians

have to stay at home or do they get to stay Oh, wouldn't that be the worst? Yeah. If you were from Vancouver and it was the Olympics and you had to just

crash at your own place? Yeah. Oh, that would be so shitty. At the end of the night, all the Olympic athletes are going back to the village. Hey, we're going to go drink gin

out of the figure skater's belly buttons. Yay! And then you're like, I got to slash Skytrain. I got to curfew. Whoa, no, that would be the worst. I don't even like to think about that possibility. Do you know that the Olympic Village, I had a friend, the Villas, who worked for the Canadian Olympic team.

He was an equipment guy or whatever. And he was in Lillehammer. And he said that the Olympic villages are just like a crazy, nonstop, 14-day orgy. Wow. Because everyone's so fit. They're all fit. But don't they know it? And they got energy to burn, right?

After their events are over, it's just... Yeah, so it's just a crazy... It's like a crazy college party. 24 hours a day. Although I don't know if fitness really plays into it. Well, it doesn't hurt. I guess not, yeah. But all those muscles hitting each other.

What if a gymnast and a weightlifter got together? Now you're in creepy territory. I think that would sound a little something. Like this. It'd be like a bear and a deer getting together. Or a bear and a rabbit getting together. But that's the Summer Olympics. What are the Winter Olympics? Figure skating.

Size disparities. And hockey. I guess hockey players are the biggest. Or the guy pushing the bobsled. Like like the last guy in the bobsled. Oh, Dougie Doug. Yeah, the Jamaican. John Candy. Let's push on with some overheards.

Overheard. All right, overheards. We got some Collins. We've got ours. We've got a write-in that's very cinematic in its writing. It was very much like to read that. And as is our custom, we like to always start with the guest. If you would like, you have an entire lifetime worth in which to pull an Overheard.

But you were mentioning in the break that you keep your headphones on religiously. Well, yes. What are you listening to these days? Lady Gaga. Your gagas. Lady Gaga. Have you seen the Notorious movie yet? Not yet. You know, I went on the opening

date with one of my overheards is from that night where I tried to go watch it, but it was sold out. Really? That's the night to see it. Yeah. And I haven't tried since. But I hear it's awful. I'm sure if you try it again

you'd get it. I think it must be awful because it doesn't star anybody and nobody knows that it's in theaters. Really? Well, everyone knows it's in theaters. It was sold out the first night. I guess. But nobody's in it, though. It's just some guy in it. He went to Juilliard

to prepare. I don't know. Someone told me he went to Juilliard. That seems like the opposite of the place that you would go to prepare to play in the Toy Story. The buffet is where I'd go. To speak like him properly or something. Okay.

I don't know. Now, if you have more money, what does that mean? More problems. Okay. Okay. That's what he learned at Juilliard. Bita, please. Okay.

Okay. Well, here's one. Okay, good. On the SkyTrain. SkyTrain is a subway in the sky. In the sky for people in Ottawa. We have listeners everywhere. Why do you think everybody's in Ottawa?

I don't know. Because we have a correspondent in Ottawa who never writes in and never finished his list of top podcasts. Which I assume that we're probably going to be on. Oh, yeah. Never mind. Go on. Oh, yeah. Never mind. Go on. Okay, okay. And then this girl, it's just stupid.

She just said, I'm on K. It's horse tranquilizer. And she was on the phone with someone. I thought that was really funny. That is funny. Yeah. Where else? K is short for ketamine. Is that right? Yeah, yeah. I think it was really funny. That is funny. Where else? K is short for ketamine, is that right? I think it's short for special K.

It's short for ketamine, isn't it? No, it's like you get a pedometer and you... They have special K with berries. It's short for Kellogg's. Oh, Kellogg's, right. If you're into Kellogg's, can I suggest a movie? Road to Wellville. Yes, that's the one with Anthony Hopkins.

Dave, do you have an overheard? I do. Mine is dumb. I didn't really... I don't know if it's funny. I don't think it is. The other day, I had to take my car in for service and I went to the factory-approved Don Dockstead or Subaru dealership

for service. Yeah, don't fuck around. Yeah. Don't go to some Johnny Fivepence. What does that mean? Anyway, but it's out in the south of Vancouver, and there's not much around it. And they offer a shuttle back to Vancouver, but I was like, I got nothing to do today. Why don't I just walk over to the McDonaldcdonald's and spend four hours uh trying to write stuff and while i was

at mcdonald's and i did i had a good day nice but while i was at mcdonald's i the best thing i overheard uh there was this old couple and they were talking to a mcdonald's employee who was i guess would you call it bussing their table? Yeah, yeah. The maitre d' was bussing the table. But it is a garbage restaurant. Is that a thing I say? Garbage?

No, I guess it's not. You do. You say garbage a lot. Okay. I remember when we were bowling and you accused your, we split up in teams and you kept calling your team garbage. Right. You're like, my team's garbage. It was Shirley Manson and Butch Vig and the other guy from garbage and the bald guy

and the skinny guy but mostly Shirley Manson so the guy was like the McDonald's guy asked the old man how you doing and the old man said I've been better you know getting older and the McDonald's guy was like well at least the sun's out and the old man, how you doing? And the old man said, I've been better, you know, getting older. And McDonald's guy was like, well, at least the sun's out.

And the old guy said, yeah, but so are the airplanes. Chemical trails. Eh, can't win them all. I like that anybody who would be afraid of chemical trails would also be spending time in McDonald's. Yeah. Like, I don't want to put poisons in my systems. I didn't look it up. What is a chemical trail? Chemical trail is...

It's just the exhaust? It's, you know, when you see a jet stream across the sky and there's a little white trail? That's chemical trail. It's called chemtrail for short. And it's a drug you can do. Yeah, it's special K. Special chem.

You have one, Graham? I do. I got it from, we were talking about, you were talking about Kingsgate Mall off air, and I was at the, what you consider even lesser than Kingsgate Mall is the City Center Mall. No, no, no, no. Equivalent? No, I think Kingsgate Mall's worse, because Starbucks wouldn't even go into Kingsgate Mall. Oh, that's right, yeah.

I was in the city... What is it called? City Center? You're the boss. The one that's next to City Hall. You know that mall? Yeah. It's a little hoity-toity.

Yeah. Yeah. Except for the dollar store, which is pretty downtrodden. But I was walking, and I assume a lot about this couple. I assume that they're a married couple. Right. I assume that they're going to visit their son. I assume that they're a married couple. I assume that they're going to visit their son. I assume that they're in a rush. They've probably forgot to bring crushed ice or something

in there because they were racing through the mall towards where the Safeway was. And the wife, who I'm assuming was the wife, was saying to the husband, just be nice. Be nice. Right? She was saying that. And all he was saying, or all I heard him say, maybe there was stuff before or after, but he said, he better not be wearing that fucking jean jacket. I assumed that it was a party. The father and the son don't get along. Right? He's going to show up.

He's told them it's a formal occasion. We're getting our photo taken the guy from jostens is here i'm going to get some crushed ice he better not be wearing that fucking jacket one inch buttons on it um now have you heard the expression a canadian tuxedo yes when you're wearing one and a jean jacket yes yeah What about an American tuxedo? What would an American tuxedo be? When I was in broadcast school, the host of one of the news stories was wearing just a shirt and a jacket, like a suit jacket with a shirt. Yeah. Except he had a t-shirt underneath that was black.

It was a white shirt with a black shirt underneath. And my teacher was like, I don't like that guy in the American tuxedo. Oh. Yeah. I think that's enough to get. That's something. Because we have a lot of listeners who are Americans. Oh, yeah.

They could comment on that. Some of them official. Did you have something to say? No. Nope. No? No. What would you consider an American tuxedo?

I don't know. I guess that. I haven't given it much thought. No, neither have I. I always just kind of think of a tuxedo as an American tuxedo. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what an American tuxedo is, but certainly a Canadian tuxedo is a jean jacket, denim pants.

And if you can pull it off. Denim pants. What are those called? Oh, jeans. Dungare if you can pull it off. Denim pants. Denim. What are those called? Oh, jeans. Dungarees. Dungarees. We have a listener overheard that's in written form. Should I read the one first before we do the audio?

It's really long. I think you can sum it up. I'll try and sum it up. Just, but here we go. All right. Basically, what happened was a rockabilly. Who wrote in with this? this is a guy named Dan S

he was at a barbershop in East Vancouver and a rockabilly guy walks in the door he's got the slicked pompadour he walks in the door he sounds like Corey Feldman apparently

he looks and sounds identical to Corey Feldman, apparently. His voice. But he's not. He's not. But he looks and sounds identical to Corey Feldman. Anyways, he says he needs a haircut, but first he needs to use somebody's cell phone to dial 411 because he lost his cell phone and he doesn't know his girlfriend's number off by heart. He needs to talk to his girlfriend immediately. He agrees to pay the barber $1.50 so he can use the phone. The operator asks him if it's business or residential, and the guy says residential. And now at this point

the writer says he's surprised. Who has a residential phone anymore? It's all cell phones. And sure enough, she doesn't have a residential number. The operator can't find it. The guy's bewildered because he thought residential meant cell phone we all giggle and it gets no number turns out the reason he

needs to call his girlfriend so badly is because he locked her out of her place and she can't get in unless he gives her the keys and she'll be there any minute so naturally he makes the right decision and decides to stay for his haircut instead of presenting his girlfriend getting locked out. After a while getting his haircut, he informs us all that it's their one-year anniversary

and they're going out for dinner at the reserve time of 6.30. We look at the time, and it's 6.30, and he's still getting his haircut. Thank you very much, Dan, for sending that in. We truncated a bit, because it's quite a long story. Right, but it was...

I think I got the gist in there. He's a great boyfriend, I think, probably. Yeah, no, I mean, if you need a jukebox hit to get it to play. You need to do your locker open by hitting it. If your hair is all slicked back, do they need to wash it before they cut it? Because a lot of barbershops don't have the little washing thing. The only way to cut it is with a switchblade. Right.

And half the switchblades are combed. Yeah, exactly. Half of the switchblades are combs yeah exactly that's half of the switchblades are combs for combing and then the other ones are just straight up switchblades for cutting yeah that's how they did it in the 50s so he's a great boyfriend if you're racing for pinks if you're

doing a chicken fight if you want to keep your cigarettes in your sleeve if you want to join the cigarettes in your sleeve. If you want to join the Jets. Your t-shirt sleeve. Alright, let's listen to some called in overheards. Hey guys,

Brennan from Western Massachusetts calling in. I was going into the dining hall last night and I caught a piece of a conversation a girl was having on her phone which was just you have a blow-up doll a midget blow-up doll that was honor of cell phone that's weird it sounds made sounds made up. No, you have a blow-up doll, a midget blow-up doll. That could be a thing.

Yeah, of course it could. Dave, it's a crazy world. If someone has a cell phone, they probably don't have a midget blow-up doll. Put those two together. Dave and Graham, this is Todd, a bumper in Pocatello, Idaho. I was at an Anne Berlin concert

not an hour ago from the time of me recording this, and I was standing next to two 13-year-old fans of that wonderful band, and as the tech guys were checking levels on instruments and microphones and things like that, the two boys were talking about how short they were and how difficult it was to see the band over the crowd. One of them turned to the other and said, Man, I wish I was a giant, like James and the Giant Peach, you know? Anyway. That's right! There's no giant in James and the Giant Peach!

It's the peach that's so big, it's almost giant. You know, like in that book that I've never read that has the word giant. Like the movie with James Dean, Giant. Nobody here has seen that movie? No. There's no giant in it. It's about an oil field. Oh, okay.

You're thinking of There Will Be Blood. I'm thinking of My Giant, starring George Mirison. Those were pretty good, all in all. Thanks a lot for calling in. Our phone number if you want to call in. Idaho. Yeah, Idaho. That's far. Never. Sounds made up. Sounds made up.

You know what I bet Pocatello, Idaho has? Beauty pageant. Totem poles. I bet you they got totem poles somewhere in Pocatello, Idaho. Prove me wrong, listener. Prove me wrong. If you would like to call in, we would effin' love it. pole somewhere in pocatello idaho prove me wrong listener prove me wrong all right all right uh if you would like to call in we would effing love it uh our phone number is 206 if you're in seattle

that's a local call uh we're not in seattle oh baby i hear the blues of colin 206-339-8328 and And call in with your favorite Seattle cultural references. Your Frasiers, your Sound Gardens, your Say Anything. Have you ever had someone from Seattle call? We haven't. No? Not yet. Now is your chance.

Yeah. Call in and talk about war games. Break the mold. What do we move on to? Do we want to move on to... We got to touch very briefly on the blokes thing, but I want to take a week. I want to rest. Okay.

Do you want to talk about blokes right now? We don't have a song to do with the League of Extraordinary Blokes. If you would like to contribute a song for the League of Extraordinary Blokes, don't be nervous. You can take as many takes as you like. Charlie Demers,

who recorded our song for Celebrity Odds, did, I'm not exaggerating, we say 21 takes? 21. 20 takes. You were exaggerating. I was exaggerating by one. But do you have something, maybe, that you could whip up for the League of Extraordinary Blokes? Okay, okay. Okay. You may want. But do you have something maybe that you could whip up for the League of Extraordinary Blokes?

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Is he a bloke? Or will he just choke? I don't know. I like that you laugh at the end. Keep that.

That's a good version. Thank you for that. Thank you. That's a good version. Thank you for that. So good, Vida. Thank you. Thanks so much for letting me do that. Okay. The thing is, we're getting still a great amount of suggestions about the League of Extraordinary Blokes. I gave one, and then you said no.

Which one? I didn't hear that. Bruce Springsteen. Okay, maybe you did. I said it on Facebook, and then you went, no. Wow, Graham, I can see why you don't talk to us. Yeah, because I'm a jerk face. We're not looking for regular guys to join the league.

Okay, but pink is part of it. She's stupid. it right she's stupid of course she's stupid yeah you don't get into the league by being a brain yeah there's no no brain she punched that mirror brainiacs need not apply okay okay uh but people have been suggesting people just for the league and uh i'm putting my foot down no one's getting into the league if they're not in a band at the moment we'll come up with other categories later but uh some guy uh an ian suggested colm fior the guy who played good cop on cop yeah the guy from good cop on cop and the guy who played

pierre trudeau i don't think he's uh i don't think he's knuckle dragging enough watering down the league the more people we add the more we water it down. But we're still looking for the band of blokes. We've had a lot of great suggestions. What were your feelings? Because we've got, so far, I think, three suggestions of Tom Waits being in the band of blokes. Yeah, I'm not entirely... I think he's way too intelligent to be part of a band of blokes.

We're talking about guys that will fight. Eat a shot glass on a date. Both Shane and Ian have suggested Lemmy. Lemmy from Motorhead. That's the level we're shooting for. Someone suggested Henry Rollins. Probably too smart, but also really good.

Really good. Wrote several, several. Very good, if I may say so. books of poetry. Yeah. Neil wrote that. Automatically. Automatically eligible. But if you can write poetry, you're too smart to be in the lead.

Really? Okay, okay. If you want to be the lead singer in the band of blokes, isn't that all just poetry? No, no, no. No, we're talking, we want somebody who's going to just go up there and either, like a Scott Wieland, right? An idiot. A Russell Crowe from 20-odd Foot of Grunt? Yes. Or is it 30? gonna just go up there and either like a scott wheeland right an idiot a russell crow from from

uh 20 odd foot of grunt or is that 30 yes like a russell crow or like somebody equally as okay so keep sending in your suggestions for the band of blokes uh we're low on drummers and multi instrumentalists a la uh clarence Clemons or Bob Nastanovich. I don't know who either of those people are. By multi-instrumentalist, I mean someone who doesn't play guitar, bass, or drums. That's what we're working on right now.

Thank you again for all the suggestions. If you want to send any emails, we got an email from an anonymous person, which we shouldn't even address, but they said, no more bloke talk. We need to give the bloke talk a little bit of a breather. You know what? I disagree because I've been listening a lot lately and I really like it.

Oh, well, that's one for you. You cancel him out. You know, I think my opinion matters more than that. Yeah, exactly. You just stomped that opinion on the ground. No name. You just washed that opinion opinion. Johnny No Name. No Name. Fuck him. You just washed that opinion right out of your hair.

Fuck him. Yeah, fuck that guy. I'm just kidding. I feel like you're gaining a lot of confidence as we go. Yeah, fuck him. Yeah, fuck him. But Lemmy has my full support. Tom Waits, I think, is in another league.

Lemmy Adam. He's too... Cerebral? Yeah. He's too... Cerebral? Yeah. He's like, yeah, he's got the right voice. Certainly that voice would be welcome. And that jangly piano. Maybe we should put him in, but I don't know.

He's too above it. We're still having, we're still casting. Yeah, we're still in the process. But certainly, what about a Tommy Lee on drums? Ooh, he's not altogether smart. He's dirty. And? And, you know, not good.

My brother recommended Travis Barker. No. Survived a plane crash. No. Almost entirely covered in tattoos. Maybe the baby's DJ AM. Yeah, and then divorced her. Right?

They're divorced now. Oh, in record time. Right, right. She used to be on a show called Bike Cops. I don't know if that was the name of the show, but she was one of the bike cops. Was it Pacific Blue? Yes. It was about bike cops.

Have you ever seen it? No. It was Degrassi on the beach. It was not. It was like every crime, somehow the perpetrator of the crime was in a vehicle that was catchable via bikes. Yeah. So it was a person committed a crime on roller on a segway or on another bike or perhaps a segway or a golf cart something that could be caught by a bicycle okay let's move on to uh we have this thing we wanted

to talk about take it okay uh a couple weeks ago on the podcast we were talking about you you what saved by the bell as a kid yeah yeah so there was the there was an episode with johnny dakota the celebrity ended up doing drugs yeah pot smoking reefer yeah he was doing pot um so there was we were talking about that and then Dave and I were talking on the phone about how sometimes he was watching Point Break yeah I had never seen Point Break until two weeks ago

I have since seen it 14 times no I have not oh it's great maybe I will see it 14 times it's entirely possible it's Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves. They're surfers.

They're bank robbers. And one's an FBI agent. It's Keanu's the FBI agent, right? Spoiler alert. Is it? No, it's the first scene. Spoiler if you watch the movie Back to Front. Wait, why is he working against them um but uh

keanu reeves's character is named johnny utah and we think that the writers of saved by the bell uh took the name johnny utah and based the character of Johnny Dakota on that as this Keanu Reeves-ish character who comes to Bayside. And then we started on this whole conversation about how sometimes on television or in movies, they create a fake celebrity or a fake something. It's like a fake singer or a fake something. Something that's famous or like a fake restaurant. Right. And what was the thing

we were talking it was an episode of fresh prince of bel-air they bring a singer to the who what was the singer remember it was saying at the birthday party and you knew who it was no no i remembered uh the episode of kipo bryce of full house with timmy t but timmy t was a real guy oh he was a real guy yeah he just wanted to give it one more try oh um but then you remember the cosby show yeah do you ever watch the cosby show yeah i like that do you remember when theo really wanted a special it was a shirt by a certain designer designer yeah do you remember what the name of it was no was it gordon gattrell maybe it was it was you should have said that with more conviction maybe gordon gattrell and then he gets denise to make him a shirt and

it's awesome yeah one sleeve yeah that was the gordon gattrell but gordon gattrell wasn't a real no it wasn't a real thing based on but can you can you think of any other things where it was there's a there's they make up a celebrity in the show instead of just bringing in a real celebrity boys to men we're in fresh prints that was a real but they're real yeah oh we're talking face the other thing i remembered was the saved by the bell episode Bell episode where Zach used subliminal messages to convince people of certain things, i.e. he's a blonde Tom Cruise and everyone ended up

pretending to fall in love with him because he had hid messages in a Bo Revere song. Oh yeah, right, and Bo Revere, that's not a thing. No, and it's not even based on a thing as far as I know. Well, it sounds like Belle Biv Devoe. Maybe. That's the closest thing.

Or Beau Bridges. Yeah, Beau Bridges and Paul Revere. But the... So, at the very least, if that's not even a thing that anybody can contribute to, I just felt it was a fun thing to talk it was fun we had a lot of fun but do you think of anything

to add that in that arena we can't really did you watch a lot of television growing up yeah I did favorite shows a kid oh I really well I don't even remember now dr. quinn medicine woman I like I watched that I did what well, I don't even remember now. Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman? I watched that. I did watch that. Did you really watch that? I did with my mom. I think you're the only person I've met that actually watched that. I thought she was really pretty.

She was, hey? Jane Seymour. Long hair. Yeah. Up in a bun and still some to spare. And then she would let it down when she was feeling sexy. Nice. I saw a Shania Twain video today from her first album.

Well, maybe she had albums before, but from her first big album. Any Man of Mine, that one? Yeah, when she invented the bear midriff. Man, oh man. I remember that day when that came out. I came in from the barn because it was playing on the radio slash television that we had. Your boots had been under someone else's bed. But that's only because I forgot them there.

Right. So, yeah, that may or may not be a thing. Yeah. So if you have any suggestions, write us. Stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com with examples of people who have been like fake celebrities on a TV show. Yeah, I like the idea that, because celebrities don't have a trademark on their name. You could just say

a celebrity's name and they'd be like, oh, I'm going to the Janet Jackson thing. Yeah. You know, like it's not something that you would have to make up.

It's not like an artist would be like, how dare you mention me in a reverential tone. How dare you promote me. But yeah, speaking of blonde Tom Cruise, have you guys seen

the pictures of Tom Cruise lately? He's built like a 20-year-old right now. He's taking human growth hormone. He's all crazy buff. Yeah, like when you and I were 20-year-olds. I don't know what you were like when you were 20-year-olds. Were you a crazy buff? I wasn't crazy buff.

But I wasn't as portly in the belly region as I am on this current eve. Man, oh, man, did you find that link that I sent you from the comedy network with the gut shot? Yeah. Did you watch it? I watched it. That was ridiculous. If you go back to the Craig Anderson, I'll post it again.

Please do. But it's crazy, right? It's not crazy. They should have told me to untuck that shirt. They should have told you, yeah shirt I was on a comedy network thing The shirt tucked itself under my gut I heard about this It's the worst

We'll show you after the podcast Okay what now You wanted to do The movies Sure And we got a theme song to go with it too So hit that What are you made of can you see with both your eyes look in the distance it's easy if you try watch all the movies and don't

waste your time just give it a line one line graham's. For whoever hasn't heard this segment before, my father, big fan of the cinema, goes to the movies. He's buff. He's a film buff. He's buff as a 20-year-old. He is actually super buff. My dad's really buff.

It's really weird. But also, he likes the movies, but if you ask him for, hey, how'd you like them? Have you heard this segment before? Yeah, I have, I have. So you know how this works. Yeah. But then I talked to him on the phone last week, and he said that we give him too much

credit in his ability to actually remember any of the stars in the movies. Did I say that on the last podcast? No, you told me. Okay, yeah. He doesn't, like, he's like, oh, no, you said stars names that I never would have remembered. I would have just said the guy from the other thing. So I'm going to have to try and introduce that into this. But all right.

So Dave's written down a couple of movies. Some movies. And I'm going to try and give my father's style review of said movies. Okay, go. For example, from a previous episode, give us an example. I can't remember any of the movies you okay throughout uh um uh the fugitive indiana jones jumps out of a drain pipe yeah yeah it's pretty good oh yeah and that's he'll he'll conclude it with it was pretty good or give it a miss those

are his two and usually if he doesn't remember the name of the woman in the movie And she's scantily clad in it He says that slut Or some slut Okay Speed Oh okay The guy from The Matrix

and this girl are on a bus and they jump a part of the bridge that isn't finished yet. Pretty good. It's pretty good. Okay. Goodwill

Hunting. Oh. Yeah. uh goodwill hunting oh um uh yeah rob williams uh it won't let the he makes the guy cry he's the same guy earlier in the film says uh how you like them apples give it a miss okay Scarface oh Scarface um is a uh the guy in the he wears the Saturday night fever suit says uh he says to a guy say hello to my little friend

give it a miss um that's really what he would have said Fargo you know that weasel face guy um that's really what he would have fargo um uh you know that weasel face guy from um uh fargo yeah he gets put through a woodchipper okay and finally stand by me oh um And finally, Stand By Me. Oh, um... Oh, uh...

The whole movie is narrated by a guy, but at the end it's Richard Dreyfuss. Spoiler alert. That's dynamite. That is dynamite. Okay, what we've done here With Celebrity Crush Hat? We're gonna do a round of Celebrity Crush Hat

Celebrity Crush Hat Crushin' the hats Celebrity Crush Hat Go fuck yourself Celebrity Crush Hat Celebrity Crush Hat Celebrity Crush Hat Dave has a hat

Filled with numbers. I would like to just mention that we co-opted this from another podcast called The Shit Parade Show. It was a segment called Musical Biography. And that show is back. It's called The Bit Parade Show. So look for that in iTunes. It's a very enjoyable podcast. So what we have here is a hat full of numbers.

You, Bita, Judaki, will pick a number. And the number that comes up will indicate an age. Okay. So say, as an example, you pull out the number 12. Okay. And you tell us what celebrity you had a crush on at age 12. Okay. Okay.

So go ahead. Eight. Now, if it's too early on in your life and crush existence, you can throw it back and pick another number. Okay. What grade is eight? Three? Three or four? Three?

Two or three. Maybe a little early? I think that's too early for me. Throw it back in? Yeah. Absolutely. What if I get eight again? Well, then we got all night.

Listen. 27. Too old. Okay. You're not that age yet. I'm not that age yet. Wait, wait. Before you go back in,

who do you think you'll have a crush on at 27? 27? She's an improviser. Kirk Cameron. I don't know. Kirk Cameron? Okay, 14. This is good. That's great. You were blossoming. Justin Timberlake. You were blossoming.

Justin Timberlake for a long time. Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. That was him in his NSYNC days. Yes. Wow, with the curly blonde hair.

What was it about him that was attractive? Because I thought he was gay back then. Really? No, you didn't. Back then. Not now. Yeah, but it's fun to say guys are gay. It is fun to say. But also,

his curly hair. The fact that he was the leader. He wore a Canadian tuxedo on more than one occasion. He did. He did. Yeah, curly hair. I really like curly hair. Do you still like him? Yeah, sure.

Musically or physically? Both. Do you like like him? Yeah, sure. Yeah. Musically or physically? Both. Do you like the physicality of his music? Do you still think he's... Is he the guy for you? No, not anymore. Who now? Now...

Hugh Jackman. Yes. Really? What are the odds? No, no. now i like uh i don't even know who i like now who do i like now katie perry no are you still lady gaga yes now when justin timberlake went solo. Solo, you can't stand it. Right.

Yes. And he did that music video where he wore the 7-Eleven shirt. Yeah. How was that? I like that. How was that in your Slurpee drinking career? I bought that CD. Okay.

That was back in the CD buying days. Yeah. Did you like his freestyling beatboxing? Yeah. Did you see him live? I saw it in sync live. Did you? Yeah. Was it just you?

You and a bunch of girls? It was me and my mom. Yeah, that's when he died. All right, now what I want is the fellas to say, It feels like something's heating up. Can I leave with you? And then the ladies come in with say It feels like something's heating up Can I leave with you And then the ladies come in with It feels like something's heating up

Can I leave with you Can I leave with you And the fellas It feels like something's heating up Can I leave with you Ladies I don't know what I did but I live with you

Let me leave it with you. Thank you. I can't believe I'm the only one applauding. Yeah. I guess I was the one that was wowed. Well, Justin Timberlake is a very talented young singer and dancer. And a big fan of the podcast. Yeah, big bumper.

Yeah. And so... Writes in all the time. We haven't read one of the podcast. Yeah, big bumper. Writes in all the time. We haven't read one of his letters. Yeah, I know. He's long-winded. It's getting annoying. Alright. I think we've done enough damage.

We've hit a high watermark. It's all downhill for me. Bita, thanks so much for being a guest. And really, being a guest at the 11th hour of your staying in Vancouver. We had no idea your departure was so... I think I told you guys. Well, you told me that you were moving. And you guys were wasted, I think.

When was I wasted? No, I don't know. I think I'm making that up. When? At the comedy showcase thing. Oh, I don't think you told us that, did you? I did. Okay, well, you were wearing a fur coat.

You said you were moving. I was wearing a fur coat. I'm sorry. But it predates when fur was murder. Yeah. Fur back then was manslaughter. You know, okay. But you had said that you were moving back to Toronto.

I knew that. Yeah. We, I think it was the Tuesday that threw us off. Oh, okay. Well, I think it was the Tuesday that threw us off. Oh, okay. Well, February 10th. We wish you nothing but luck. Oh, thank you. Feliz Navidad.

Yeah, we really want you to succeed. Prospero Año. It's Felizidad. Felizidad. Oh. The bottom of my heart. The best of luck. What are you going to do when you go to Toronto?

What's the game plan? Oh. Day one. Day one. Wait, you got you go to Toronto? What's the game plan? Day one. Day one. What, you got a job lined up? I have an interview for a job on the 11th. Is it too forward to ask in what field? It's just like a coffee shop job.

Okay, sure. On Degrassi Street? No, on this street called Main Street. Ooh. That sounds made up. Sounds popular. Are you sure that this coffee shop exists? Maybe not.

Now, do you know where to go to get bed bugs? Yes. Okay, good. Are you going to buy a brand new bed? No. Are you getting one shipped out from here? No, I have one from this guy that I know there. Johnny Bedbug.

It's not from Johnny Bedbug, is it? Is he going to stay in the bed while you're in the bed? No, no. He's moving to Australia.bug, is it? Is he going to stay in the bed while you're in the bed? No, no, he's moving to Australia. Oh, that sounds made up. This whole thing sounds... Shit. You're moving to Degrassi Street

with a guy named Hugh Jackman that's moving to Australia? That sounds a little like you just came up with it today. Okay, well, maybe I did. What are you going to do? Thank you. I'm not going to do anything. You know, maybe I'll come back.

You guys shouldn't... Yeah, you probably will come back. I'm probably going to come back because I don't have a plan about my life. You think we do? Yeah. We've been just flying by the seat of our pants here. Yeah, but you're, like, stable.

Like, you're stable. Like, you're going to be here for a while. Well, up until about 10 o'clock and then I go. If I ever need to move, I need to really clean these walls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dave of the two, he's

a rock. He's Plymouth Rock, this guy. He ain't going nowhere. He loves this city. We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us. That's what I always say. Damn right. Well, Bita, thanks a lot for being a guest. Thank you.

It was great. We just had a good, like, four minutes of good nonsense, right? Yeah. And your bangs are swept the way that Graham's need to be. I can't groom like that because I'm going bald. Okay. Like an old man. No, whatever.

It ain't right. Dave, anything to plug? I would like to just tell our listeners that they should give us a call at 206-339-8328 if they want to leave us a message. That's 339-TEET, in case you're wondering. Yeah. Also, we've got an email address all set up if you want to send us any remarks, positive, negative, we'll take them.

StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com. And also Dave spends a good amount of time combing through images, putting together a wonderful blog. Blog. A blog. A blog. It's French for joke. A blog that encapsulates a lot of the things that we were talking about on the podcast. You can check that out at StopPodcastingYourself.blogspot.com.

And please, if you enjoyed the show, tell your friends. It only helps it grow. And we'll be back here next week with another thrilling edition, episode number 50 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. You don't really want to stay, oh, you. You don't really want to go, oh, oh, oh. Well, it's hot when it's cold. It's black when it's old.

It's up when it's down. Around and around we go.