Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 497 - Paul Myrehaug

Episode Date: September 25, 2017

Comedian Paul Myrehaug returns to talk France, disappearing peppers, and weird smells.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 497 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who went to French immersion. His French is still impeccable to this very day, Mr. Dave Shumka. My French is not great, but I could order something in France or Quebec and not get a dirty look. Nice.

And could you add and subtract things like say like i would like this but i would like it without oh no i don't i never learned like substitutions well i never learned substitutions but also there's all like probably new food words like i don't know what gluten is oh yeah oh my friend wants to know if this has gluten well but i don't know did this animal come from a no-kill shelter from a no-kill shelter right that is a that's a french have not come up with a term for that yet. Our guest today is a man, a comedian who now makes his home in France. In case you were wondering why we had French

on the brain. Mr. Paul Meyerhog is our guest. Hey guys. Hello. Salut Paul Meyerhog. Salut. Clark. Thanks for having me. I never know if I'm supposed to talk during the first, but you know, you just sit here never know if I'm supposed to talk during the first,

but you just sit here like a, and I'm always so nervous. We've had people arrested. Really? Yeah, and there's no way to tell them off the top. We try to give hand signals, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever seen a citizen's arrest? Not in real life.

I mean, I think I've seen it on sitcoms. But I don't know, is it a thing that can actually happen? What are the main things you've only seen on sitcoms? Citizen's arrest. Nude art classes. You know, where a teenager has to take care of a bag of flour or an egg in health class. I've never seen in real life a violin kick in during a heart-to-heart moment with a father or son. That's never happened.

I've never seen in real life a fancy restaurant with a violinist. Oh, yeah. I've seen a Mexican restaurant with a mariachi band. But yeah, a violinist that plays at your table. Yeah. Yeah. I also don't think I've ever seen it where somebody goes like, What idiot can we get to do this?

And then Sheldon walks in. With young Sheldon. What? And they're kissing. A very special crossover episode. Oh, should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Paul. Paul. So, you were last here four-ish years ago four-ish years ago maybe

a little less and now a lot's changed yeah though back then you were living in uh i would have been living in london but i feel like every time i see you which is about maybe once a year we'll cross paths you you've had almost an entirely different life every time because you were which is about maybe once a year we'll cross paths you you've had almost an entirely different life every time because you were a comic in london yeah and then for a while you were flipping houses well i was still a comic in london while i was doing that okay all right um but i did i i came back to canada for uh i went to alberta Usually I go for the corporate season for November and December. And so I think when you saw me, I had bought a house

and I was renovating it during the corporate season. You and your twin brother, the property brothers were flipping houses. Absolutely. Don't give away my whole pitch here. Oh, sure. I'm pitching it to HDTV. Me and my crazy twin house flipping. Yeah, other, what is it called? What's the name of it again the other hog

that's not bad yeah um and then you uh like you did that for a while right yeah well um i've i was working on places for a while like my uncles and my dad and stuff were the always the type of guys that could uh could do anything like that but um as far as were always the type of guys that could do anything like that. But as far as like me. Now are you the type of guy who can do stuff like that? I guess I still need help with things above my pay grade. Like right now in France, I'm renovating the third floor of our house. So.

There you go. Yeah. So, and I have my uncles out there. So anytime that I like, we, I just poured before my flight here, I poured the concrete floor and I needed help pouring that floor. Then did you wait for it to dry before you got on the flight? No. So people could have been writing French expletives in it. The cats are all over it.

I didn't even shower. I just, I poured it. Just getting covered in concrete. I've, I've just getting covered in concrete. Um, so I, I can do it, but, um, but I need, uh, I, my, my confidence level needs to come up a little bit. Um, because, uh, you know, but that comes with experience. So, but I can, I can do, I can, I can do the majority of it. It's okay. The, uh, cause like I couldn't do any of this stuff.

So like, did you learn how to do this stuff somewhere? Just through dads and uncles and growing up and things like that. And if anything's that I need help with you, there's like, honestly, YouTube is awesome. You can. YouTube is awesome. But I mostly, I just watch prank videos. Yeah. You know, what's the like, uh, uh, what, like you own tools.

Yes. What's like the, the, the coolest or like what, like you own tools? Yes. What's like the, the, the coolest or like most unusual thing you own? Yeah. Well, yeah. Like, cause like the weirdest tool. If you have, here's what I have. Some pliers.

Yeah. You got a hammer probably. I got a hammer. I probably have two hammers cause I, you know, I do, I do fix things twice a year and I lose it. Do you have any kind of saw? No. No.

I've got a level. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You got a stud finder, I bet. Uh-huh. Yeah. Mostly I hang up pictures.

Do you have a crowbar? Nope. What else? What else is in the... You probably have a screwdriver. Yeah. That's another thing I have. You have a ratchet set.

That's a good benchmark. Oh, we did get a ratchet. I wouldn't be able to I have. You have a ratchet set. That's a good, that's a good benchmark. Oh, we did get a ratchet. I wouldn't be able to find it for you though. Okay.

Yeah, if you need to do some on the fly ratcheting. Yeah, yeah, you always need some on the fly. That's more of an automotive thing

though, isn't it? No, well, no, no, you like bolt, any bolt, you know, I used my ratchet set because I needed to bolt down a toilet because it kept running away. Yeah, no, no. You like bolt, any bolt, you know, I used my ratchet set cause, um, uh, I needed to bolt down a toilet. Cause it kept running away.

Yeah. I'm a violent toilet. That's the classic. That's it. But like, uh, did you ever do this professionally? No, not even close. But I mean, when the, the, the, the house that I mean, the house that I did, the plan was to buy it, fix it, and sell it for profit. But in no way am I licensed or have any business doing it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I renovated it and then flipped it for a profit. But then the next time I saw you, you owned a gym? Yeah. See, every time. Where was this? That was in Alberta. But then the next time I saw you, you like owned a gym? I, yeah. See, every time. Where was this? That was in Alberta. So yeah, we started, it was called Nine Round.

It was me and another comedian, Cary Younger. Yeah. And it was Cary's idea. He needed somebody going halfway. Somebody with a ratchet set. Somebody with a ratchet set, build it. So yeah, and the deal was. You'll be in charge of toilets.

So yeah, and we did it. It's been open for almost a year now. I sold, I'm out. My half is, Kerry owns 100% of it now. But the deal was we thought I would be about six months to help get it off its feet and then I could go back to my touring life and we did that. And then I think it was a little bit romantic thinking that

I could do my end of the job while I was living in Europe and it turns out, to run a business you need to be there. Well, you need to at least be in the right time zone. Yes. If members are calling you and be like, well it's two in the morning there i can't ask where the towels are unless you're like super like super rich and like successful and like

you own five businesses yeah then you you've got it figured out by then yeah yeah yeah like the shark tank guys yeah that's what I've been up to. I've been watching a lot of shark tank. Yeah. So yeah, there was that. And, but, uh, but yeah, now, now Carrie's a hundred percent owner and I'm, and I'm, uh, just full-time France now. It was nine round.

Does the name imply like a boxing gym? It was, uh, yeah, it's a kickboxing, uh, workout. KBW is all right. Yeah. So Carrie and I went down to South Carolina to take the fitness testing and pass the kickboxing instructor test and things like that.

What? You're a kickboxing instructor? It's a fake kickboxer, but yeah, I guess I do have I mean, I've never fought once professionally. But it's not like people getting ordained online. Yeah, like you getting ordained online.

Yeah, like you had to fly somewhere. And you had to kick some stuff. I had to kick some stuff, yeah. But I mean, not one professional fight. Have you had amateur fights? No, I can't. I've done nothing. I've just passed.

I can throw a punch. I can throw a proper kick. And that's about it. But you've never kicked anyone who didn't have it coming Oh of course Of course not Have you kicked anyone Who wasn't expecting it? I don't know

I don't I'm not I'm not a rogue kicker I don't think Yeah no Even my sister I don't think I was more of a puncher

What about now? Now that you're both Grown adults And now that you have All this kickboxing training I would kick her and she's sore enough to get in the head area

so you know I yeah what's the highest you can kick the highest I can you know what when I

when we were when the gym was open and I was working on the high I could get I was probably about six like six six

something like that. Whoa! Holy! Who's this little? Michael Jordan. Yeah, you could easily kick Conan O'Brien in the face. Right in the face. Right in the face.

Wow. Mark Cuban, you could probably kick him in the face. Shark Tank. Yeah. Tim Robbins, maybe not. I think he's like 6'8". You might get him in the little chin music. But I don't want to paint the wrong picture here.

This is all fake. This is just kicking bags, you know? So, you know. But there's a federation or something? Or where did you have to go? The World Wrestling Federation. That's what it's in. Yeah, yeah.

That's right. Me and Vince McMahon had to sit down and he decided I'm in. Wow. We went 50-50. Yeah. I'll get this off the ground. And if it works, I won't have to kick'm in. Wow. We went 50-50. Yeah. I'll get this off the ground. And if it works, I won't have to kick you in the face. But I would like, Vince, I'd like to do this from Europe.

Okay. So South Carolina, the headquarters for Nine Rounder, South Carolina. Oh, so it's a franchise. It is. Oh, okay. Yes, yes. So the Shannon the Cannon. Shannon the Cannon.

Ah, I love this. Yeah, Shannon the Cannon. Who's Shannon the Cannon? He is the CEO. He was our driver. He's just got a real bad habit of throwing things out the window. He's the CEO and the franchise owner. But he is a real kickboxer.

I'm not a real kickboxer. That guy is. He was a world champion. Paul, you need to understand, we don't think you're a real kickboxer. Good, good. I think you're being a little too defensive. Yeah, also, do you think that Dave and I

are going to somehow give you an opportunity to kickbox? Because we don't have our kickboxing promoter's license. Yeah, sure. And I left my shorts with the writing on the crotch in the car. Who's the most famous kickboxer? Jean-Claude Van Damme? Shannon the Cannon, maybe? Shannon the Cannon might be.

Yeah. Like cause Jean-Claude Van Damme Or Shannon the Cannon Shannon the Cannon Might be Yeah Cause like It's not It's not Big and famous Like an MMA But it's high Like over

Southeast Asia There'd be like Gigantically famous guys I'm sure I'm sure An Ong Back Oh yeah Yeah yeah yeah

Frank Dukes Yeah Frank Dukes You know Dalsim Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Frank Dukes. Yeah. You know, Dalsim. Oh, yeah, Dalsim. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I think we named all the most famous ones. That's all I can come up with. What's Dalsim up to these days? Was he the guy with the long, stretchy arms? Yeah. Yeah. Yoga guy. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sure he's doing all right. He seemed pretty centered. He was. It was weird that he was even part of the street fighting scene he seemed more zen than that but uh maybe i'm wrong maybe maybe i don't know as much about dalsim as i thought i did did you play street fighter as a young man yeah i did who was your go-to person i was a guile man. Guile. The American? The American. Brush cut fella. What was his Sonic Boom?

Sonic Boom. And then the rainbow, the switchblade kick. Remember that? Oh, yeah. What about you? I think I was E-Honda just because his. Oh, sumo. Where you do like a thousand.

Yeah. I couldn't do the combinations. I could just hit buttons really fast. Any combination i did was by accident you i like blanka because he was like it's kind of it was basically just the incredible he was different he's a little different yeah he's a little bit different he's a bit of a biter and he was a biter yeah wouldn't he still other people's rhymes yeah um, yeah, then you own this gym and now you live in the South of France. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm gymless and, um. But you still get some kicking done though. I get a kicking. I, yeah, I do still, I got my gloves there and I still, I still, uh. What gloves? Yeah. Yeah.

Still, still do kickboxing workouts. Um, yeah. And I live there with my, uh, with my gal, Cecile. And, uh. And our two cats. Hello Cecile. Hello Ce my gal, Cecile. And our two cats. Salute, Cecile. Salute, Cecile. Eulisha.

Como se apelte, eisha? What are your cats' names? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give Me and Finette. Give Me? Give Me. Give Me, like... Just Give Me.

Give Me five bucks. Give Me. Give Me. Give Me. Right, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give Me and Finette, yeah. Give me like. Just give me. Give me five bucks. Give me. Give me. Give me. Right. Okay. Yeah.

Give me infinite. Yeah. And yeah. And then yesterday you were like, usually when you ask somebody, hey, what do you do today? They're like, I don't know. I went for lunch. You rented a motorcycle, drove to Whistler, had sushi and drove back. That was just like A daytime activity for you

Yeah You're a motorcycle guy And that was A day A day when you had a show At night Yeah We had two shows

Two shows that night Which time did you get up This guy To go on a motorcycle I picked up the motorcycle At one So I Wow

And you had a show At 7.30 7 At 7 Well 8 o'clock Yeah So Oh you had a show at 7.30, 7? At 7, well, 8 o'clock, yeah. Oh, you had to be on it. Yeah, between 12 and 1 I picked up the motorcycle.

I was up, because I'm jet-lagged, so I'm up early, so I think I was up at like 6, so I did some exercise and then got the motorcycle, Whistler.

Do you like rental car places of motorcycles or is it a special place? Oh yeah, that's a good question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like rental car places of motorcycles or is it a special place? There's a, it's called. That's a good question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called Eagle Rider. It's on Marine by the kind of by near the airport and they just rent motorcycles and, uh, and it was great.

And it's the first time I'm not, I don't, uh, uh, I've never driven a Harley before and I, I wanted to get an Indian, but they didn't have any. So I, I got, I drove a Harley for the first time yesterday and it was uh it was delightful yeah yeah and like but uh your testicles yeah rumble a lot that's why i motorcycle like are they still going yes jangling around like those those balls on a desk those silver balls um what? Because I've never ridden a street motorcycle ever. You've ridden dirt bikes? I've ridden a dirt bike and not for very long before I blew off

of it. And it kept going. Bye, dirt bike. Could still be going to this very day. Some say. I can still hear it moaning. Oh, Graham. day um say i can still hear it moaning oh graham why uh but like uh so motorcycles are so scary it's so scary you don't find them scary at all or is that part of the rush not not as you're doing it i don't find it scary as you're doing it but then yeah

yesterday when i got home um because that cedar sky highway there's a lot of turns and um and on the way up i was taking it easy but on the way down i was like okay i'm gonna push it and i'm gonna i'm gonna go i'm gonna go fast around corners and push it as hard as i can and uh and and it was it was amazing i was i was screaming as i was riding like i was so excited so excited and going and and really going for it and then um and then i laid down just before the show for it to close my eyes for a second and and then i got scared i got scared laying there because i was like okay a lot of that was pretty stupid what i just did was pretty stupid.

So not, but no, when it's happening, it's just sheer adrenaline and excitement. Yeah. Yeah. Do, have you always been a motorcycle guy? Like since you were a teenager? Kind of like you, I guess you're an Alberta boy too.

So I guess like dirt bikes and stuff when I was growing up, I actually wasn't into it hugely. Just my friends were, would go to, there's this place called happy valley where besides we live beside cameras and we'd go you know dirt biking once in a while but yeah so i guess i rode them my my whole life but um but street bikes i owned one here in canada i sold it when uh just recently but uh so yeah i've always sort of liked it huh yeah and your wife is fine with you riding motorcycles around?

Yeah. You've got two cats to take care of now. Two cats. Yeah. I've got a lot of responsibilities. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a concrete floor that may or may not have sat. Les bébés de fourures. Shower babies.

Oh, yeah. There you go. That's a new term. I'm so jealous of your French, Dave, because you're great. Oh, merci. Merci beaucoup. I was telling you before, I mostly speak French to make fun of French people. Yeah.

You want to hear something? My new French family, and she's not, she's not, we, our wife is a religious, we did like a non-religious, so I don't know what she is. It's called PACS, what we are. You're legally married. No, no, no. It's like, it's no marriage. It's a, you just go to the courthouse and you we just register your relationship with the with the government of france there's no such thing in canada or in the u.s but it's called pax and uh but that's

what we are so does it give you all the things that a marriage would have yeah you'd have uh you know your wife chasing you around with a rolling pin uh you having to sleep on the couch and be in the doghouse. Absolutely. To do list of things when you get home and all that sort of stuff. But, but her family was so excited because when they thought I was, well, and they knew I was Canadian, but they thought I was obviously French Canadian and they were so upset and

they found out I was from the West and I don't speak French. They're, they're like, yes, thank God. Cause they can't, they can't stand the accent. They, they're like, we honestly couldn't have a dinner with you without like breaking out laughing because of how backwards that accent is.

And it makes me so happy because in Montreal, the Montreal always made me feel like being from, you know, from the West and I didn't know how to speak French. I always thought like, oh, they're so like stylish and she, she, and, uh, and now to find out that real France thinks they're just backwards hillbillies. I'm very happy, but also real France love Jerry Lewis.

That was something you only ever heard about it in, uh, sitcoms as well. Yeah, that's like true. Jerry Lewis died a month ago now, maybe national day of mourning in France, but it was... I never...

I don't think I ever saw any of his movies. And my first exposure to Jerry Lewis was... Oh, he's a hero in France. Yeah. It's true. And this is laughable. Yeah, I don't know. Because it was like David Hasselhoff was a hero in Germany.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if it's... It's weird. was a hero in german yeah um yeah i don't know if it's it's a weird jerry like jerry lewis like when they when he died you know there was all these memorial pieces and uh but he had like four kind of distinct eras of his career like he's the dean martin and lewis and then he like made movies that nobody like i don't know anybody who likes the movies I mean I guess he was a big movie star

at the time but nobody's like oh that one where he plays the bellboy where he goes glaven and then there's

all the the telethon oh yes they had like this like telethon era and then he was a crotchety

Cranky old Women aren't funny guy Yeah he became this Like cranky old man And Yeah it's It's a weird He's like

He was just around For I mean How old was he When he died 80 91 maybe Oh yeah maybe

No wait Harry Dean Stanton Was 91 Yeah may he rest in peace Always kind of Looked old that guy. Uh-huh. But it's, yeah, I think if you live too long, you kind of, like, to a certain generation,

you'll just be remembered as the old version of yourself. Yeah, that's kind of, like, I just always think about that there's a generation of people that only know Steve Martin as a guy from Cheaper cheaper by the dozen and as the pink panther guy like that's the only thing well like now there's maybe three generations who know betty white as an old lady yeah it's weird when you see like a photo of her when she's like you're like young betty white what yum betty. And it's black and white. She's talking into a Dumont Networks microphone. This one's for the boys.

Yeah, so like, anyways. Anyways, so back to the important thing. When you rent a motorcycle, do they rent you a jacket as well oh yeah that's a very good helmet i'm guessing uh okay so the helmet comes with the rental that is for free but if you want jackets and gloves you gotta pony up some extra cash so did you what did you do t-shirts t-shirt t-shirt t-shirt actually i wore i i roll see that uh-huh he's got to the homeless bruises on both sides i wasn't gonna say bruises i was gonna say some kind of like

eczema yeah yeah he's got to yeah but uh my jacket was i just wore like a regular jacket like a windbreaker yeah and it was too loose and it just uh it just was like slapping the back of my arms here the whole way and and down. And that bruised you? That bruises, yeah. So I should have taken a jacket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's so, isn't it so hot? Yeah, it's so hot.

Well, not on the highway that I had to put on the windbreaker. It's cold. When you're flying, it doesn't matter what it is, you're flying, it's cold. So, yeah. So, uh, without gloves, it's fine. But, um, and then as soon as I got down and off the highway, then you just take off your jacket and go t-shirt, t-shirt. And then you try.

It's such a pathetic thing. You're just trying to look cool. That's it. That's all motorcycles are. And you're screaming the whole time. It's so fun, you guys. It's really, it's exhilarating. I think I need to do it in VR.

Yeah, see if you like it in VR first. No, no, I'm never going to do it in real life. Oh, I see. Okay. Just VR. I have two kittens to raise. Yeah, see if you like it in VR first. No, no, I'm never going to do it in real life. Oh, I see. Okay, just VR. I have two kittens to raise. Yeah, that's true. You have real kittens, though. I know.

Kittens that matter. That's what children are. Kittens that matter. Kittens with consequences. Yeah, but where will you be next you know when i next see you will you yeah i was like it's been four years and you're you the most interesting man in the world now yeah uh this is it that i literally yeah i rented the motorcycle and i think i'll just go to france now and drink

tea i think you're gonna be a bullfighter the next time i see you you're gonna be like all right but it's not real i just went to the bullfighting academy spanish side of france there yeah and actually another thing there is a uh yeah yeah exactly the concert venue in montpellierpellier is an old bullfighting arena. That is where you would go see the cool kids would play there, like White Stripes and stuff. It's an old bullfighting arena. So maybe they have lessons. That's what I'll do.

That's my goal. I'll try to be a bull. Although I don't like stabbing things and especially... Yeah, so I don't know. How about you become a bull kickboxer? Yeah, the world's preeminent. Hog versus the bull. What, so you, but you, like, how often are you out touring?

Because I'm guessing there's no open mics that you, like, drop into. Bézier. Where have I heard the name Bézier before? Bézier. Well, it was recently in the news uh because um bezier is the the town it's basically the border town to spain um and it's in the the the mayor when uh took out huge billboards for immigration and and the billboards were like pictured like you know middle eastern gangsters with track suits and like dark eyes holding like Uzis.

And then it would just say like, they're coming and things like that. It's pronounced coming soon. Coming soon, yeah. So maybe that, because he was, he's been in the news a lot recently

because of this. I feel like it's maybe like a Photoshop filter or something. Busier. Yeah, busier. Yeah. Actually, touring though, I end up,

I commute from, there's four airports down there and they service all different corners of the UK. And in fact, a lot of the times

it's cheaper for me to fly for my gigs from France than it is to take the train from London when I live there because yeah because my girlfriend was uh really worried about it she was like oh you're gonna spend so much and I said well let's test I'm like okay Orion Air flight from Béziers to Manchester right now and it was 30 euro and a train from London to Manchester

return was like 60 pounds it's wow a lot of the times I'm saving money. And you do mostly go UK? UK and Norway. I love working in Norway. Right. I love, love working. Well, what are the crowds like in Norway? Blonde.

Blonde. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of yeses. Yeah, they're great. All the comedians before you were. They, yeah, they're great. So all the comedians before you were Norwegian, you just, you go up, they want you to headline with 15 minutes and the whole. You're like, I think I have that. I can do that.

I can do this. The whole crowd switches to English. So everybody is Norwegian. Yeah. Physically switch. They switch. Put on their earmuffs. Tracksuit.

So, but it's great. It's a really strong scene. And also they, like I keep on telling the Norwegian guys, they all bring like pieces of paper on stage and notebooks. It doesn't matter. Like the club latter in Oslo is like a beautiful club and people pay a premium price to come there. But all all they do is work on new stuff because their scene is so small it's only five million they need to tour the same people all the time right so they're

constantly writing new stuff it's it's one of the most creative places i've ever i've ever seen it's really really great but they all working in Norwegian. Yeah. They're all working in Norwegian. There is one guy, Dex Carrington, who he can speak Norwegian. His dad's Norwegian, but his mom's American. He does English. And then, I mean, I'm kicking around a little bit, but yeah, it's mostly Norwegian. Wow. Yeah.

Oh boy. Never been. Never been to Norway. Norway? No, no Norway. No Norway. Schnuck a Norse. No, it's beautiful

guy it is it's it's just one big giant british columbia it's absolutely stunning i already live in one of those i think i've been living a bigger one yeah yeah you probably fit a couple norways in here you think so i don't know i wonder i bet you norway's norway has a border with russia did you guys know that i don't know anything at the top of Norway, it's a border with Russia. It's huge. What kind of billboards they put up on that border? They are not coming.

They're coming. No one is coming this far. No one is coming. I wonder if I can, if I can compare the two real quickly. Yeah, yeah. Norway versus,

what are we, British Columbia? Yeah. Yeah. So, like, this French living. Yeah. Real slow. Oh, slow. What are we British Columbia? Yeah So like this French living Real slow

Oh slow Oslo It's so perfect And it's great and my missus is a Flight attendant an international flight attendant So we both get our We're busy when I'm touring in the UK It's extremely busy and we come home, it is slow.

Dave, you there. The area of Norway, 323,000 kilometers square. The area of British Columbia, 944 square kilometers. Three times the size. Boom. Suck it. Norge. And yeah, does Norway have Prince George in it? No way, man.

They have Prince Olaf. I think the king's name is Olaf. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds... Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Very cool.

Wow. Yeah, it's nice. It's a nice speed. France is a very nice speed. And. Very cool. Wow. Yeah. It's nice. It's a nice live. It's a nice speed that France is very nice speed. And I fly most like, usually I'm on a plane Friday and I come back on Sunday back to France and, uh, uh, there's a, where we live there, it's all stuff bought out of markets, fresh, fresh vegetables, fresh fruit, it's all, there's a market every week you, you stock up, there's no fast food around.

There's no, it's just, I don't know about this. You put your baguettes In the The Basket of your bike Your vignole Yeah Yeah absolutely There's

There's a couple of Bakeries right up the street And That's another sitcom thing There would be the wine Bottle that had like A half basket And a bottom on it

In a fancy restaurant In a fancy Like a French restaurant I've never seen one of them In real life Like a chianti yeah like a chianti yeah yeah um yeah i don't and you're fine with no like what if it's 11 o'clock and you're like oh oh i want a pizza so bad oh my god well i guess i you know what i i just i there's always leftovers my my my missus is an unbelievable cook so there's always leftovers. My, my, my missus is an unbelievable cook. So there's always leftovers.

I'm getting used to it, but yeah, I do. I do have those cravings. And honestly, I think I, I started getting headaches and stuff when I first arrived. And I think it's because of that, like pizza late night. I was like, where's the salt? Like I, it took me a while to adjust for sure. You just wake up with a salt lick. Yeah.

There's a quick shaker on the back of your hand. Sniff. What is your, like, do they have, they must have, like, junk food there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What do you get? What's a fun, what's your fun snack? Yeah.

If we go, if it's snack time, we'll have, yeah, we go for like a wood fire pizza we'll go for a pizza but like a like a sneaky snacky oh snack uh yeah well it's like a fun french snack that we don't know oh well yeah crepe night crepe nights are unbelievable she'll she'll get the she'll get the the the crepes going do you have a special crate was there a special crepe device uh just a pan uh yeah she has a she has a it's like a raised it sits on Or is it just a pan? Yeah, she has a... It's like a raised... It sits on the... It almost looks like what you'd serve a cake on, sort of.

Oh, yeah. She's got one of these things that's raised up a little bit. A crepe riser? Crepe riser. Is that it? I don't know. Dave just made that up. I just trust you.

Everything French-related, I like it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crepe pedestal? Crepe stool. Uh, the, yeah, so yeah,

crepe night's really special. So we get, we get the Nutella going and, uh, and the whipped cream and everything. Yeah. That's treat night. And we usually,

and scones, she'll, that's a really, they're a really big treat night and we'll invite the neighbors over and stuff like that. And they can, I'm out. Scones for a treat night. That's neighbors yuck i don't think i've ever had a scone that hasn't been like a couple days old yeah oh no that's bad that's bad scones yeah yeah that's all i've ever had it's just bad bad bad to the scone yeah not. Not a bad place, name for a scone place.

I mean, it is. Yeah. But it's really punk rock. There's got to be a place called Bad to the Scone. It's not really punk rock. George Thurgood is... He's the most punk rock guy

I know, Dave. I heard he walked 40 miles of barbed wire and has a cobra snake for an necktie. What's more punk rock than that? Dave, what's going on with you, man? So if anyone writes us, I know that George Thurgood song is a Bo Diddley cover.

He's the one who had the cobra snake for a necktie. But if you sing the cover. Brand new house on the roadside that's made out of rattlesnake hide. That would blow away. Something, something, something, something, something out of human skulls. Something, something, something, something. Who do you love? There it is.

He's playing at the bullfighting arena in Montpellier. What's going on with me? Well, look, Paul hasn't been here in four years. Yeah, yeah. A lot has in four years. Yeah, yeah. A lot has happened to Paul. Yeah. I'm here every week. Yeah.

And I want to talk about... Are you in France? I want to talk about Subway. Now, do you like Subway? I eat it. Yeah, that's the... Yeah, I don't think like is necessarily a part of it, but, you know, I eat it. Because I feel like something has happened to Subway in the last 20 years, 30 years.

When I was a kid, it was like a treat. Yeah, well, it did used to be a treat. It definitely used to be like a fun thing. Yeah, oh, we were going to Subway. Oh, I can pick whatever I want on my sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can eat so much lettuce. And then it started being like a healthy

thing like right like literally now i will only go to subway if i haven't been able to keep food down in days like it's your sick food like it'll be like uh what's what can i just give me some vegetables on bread yeah yeah yeah like the most basic elements of food. No mayonnaise. No mayonnaise. But somewhere in the meantime, like people think it's gross now. Yeah. Which I can get on board with that argument.

And, but one thing I love about it, and I don't know if this is something I'm really confused about, because I think some people really think this is gross, but I love the smell coming out of it. Oh, uh, yeah, I think I like the smell. Is that something that more people like or don't like?

I like it. Yeah. I like it too, but I don't, I don't KFC like it, but I like it. Oh, I love that KFC smell.

Yeah. Yeah. I think I like all too. I don't, I don't KFC like it, but I like it. Oh, I love that KFC smell. Yeah. Yeah. I think I like all of the, the smells of those places. I don't like, I don't like a McDonald's smell. Oh, I do.

Like I'll walk by and it's very, it's just nostalgic more than anything. There's this one at Whole Foods. There's this one event that's coming out of like a bakery department. Yeah. And my friend calls it the cake vent. And it's just like, it's like a cinnamon swirl coming, being blown into the street. Yeah, yeah.

That's like, wasn't that, did you see Gone Girl? Yeah. And they go to the back alley where it's like all this sugar from like, they're like, and then it's like falling like snow. Do you know what i'm talking about uh it's like a bakery and like for some reason like powdered sugar is flying out the door and then he makes out with uh some girl under the snow some gone girl yeah some gone girl yeah yeah yeah i've seen that movie but i don't i don't remember that either because the thing is he does it with the the girl who becomes the girl, but then she sees him doing it with the girl that he's cheating on her with.

Is he cheating with Emily Ratatouille? Yeah, Ratatouille. Ratatouille. Yeah. Well, she's like that rat who makes all the food. He's cheating with this chef rat. Do you have one of those in France? Yeah, I should have.

Oh, boy. Makes a great crepe. It's hard to get up on that crepe riser. Yeah. And a little tiny little paw prints in your crepe. And my thing about Subway, the smell, is the smell is so good. And I'm sure half the people listening are throwing up right now because they disagree. Into their hats.

Into their KFC buttons. But I wish the sandwiches tasted as good as they smelled. Yeah. Yeah. Like KFC, I find that the taste does, the taste and the smell line up. I'm sick 10 minutes later. That all lines up perfectly.

Yeah. Turn to our charts here. Yep. Uh-huh. Yep. Yeah. I also feel sick after I've eaten Subway for some reason. Like, I always, like, I eat it. While I'm eating it, I really enjoy it.

And then about 20 minutes later, I feel like, boy, I really shouldn't have done that. And I don't know what it is because I only get vegetables and bread. So what could be? It makes my face hot when I eat Subway. Yeah. I don't know what it is either. I think it may be, it's a wheat thing or something. It might be, or it just might be like, I don't know how they wash all the vegetables.

Maybe they use some sort of bleach. They just don't. They don't wash vegetables. Some sort of bleach. You know, it's a lot of vegetables. Yeah, I think it's one of the two extremes. It's either a lot of bleach or no washing at all. Zero washing.

Yeah, we washed it in. Well, we heard sunlight's the best disinfectant, so we left this in the sun. Yeah, it's also like Jim Gaffigan has a great giant joke about Subway, but he talks about the kitchen in the back of Subway where like sometimes you'll come in and they'll come out from the back and you're like, what the hell's going on back there? What's going on back there? Like you do everything up here in the front.

So what, you know, like I've never seen the back of a, like McDonald's you can see right through to the back. You can see everything that's going on. But Subway's got like this whole hidden department. Yeah, you're right. I don't know, but I do. I like the smell of it. And I also still, when I go into it, I'm like, there's something.

This will be good. It's just remembering the first time I ate a meatball sub and being like oh my god when you guys were growing up and going to high school did you have different crews that would go to different fast food places for lunch like you know like this click would go to subway and then there was a mcdonald's crew yeah so what crew were you guys we didn't have crews i think people went like we had three or four different options within walking distance. But you went to French immersion. Well, we went to, we would have all the, we had French fries. Steak frites.

Beef dip au jus. What was nearby us was, there was Benny's bagels. Oh, yeah. There was Dairy Queen. But you wouldn't really eat lunch was Dairy Queen. But you wouldn't really eat lunch at Dairy Queen. No. I mean,

what was near us? Actually, we didn't eat at Dairy Queen. That's weird that that's not a lunch place. Right?

Yeah, you're right. Like, I would, I'd love a Blizzard, but, you know, gotta show my report card to my parents first. And the other one was this pizza place. Okay. Nat's New york pizzeria and that was the one

like everyone just went there okay and they would like i'm pretty sure they had they made a special no topping super cheap pizza just for teenagers the quick get out of my store pizza yeah yeah what is it i feel like a lot of times i ended up eating something very junky from 7-Eleven. Like something out of the like heat box that would be at the front, a hot dog or a chicken thing. Or what are they called? Chester fried chicken. Chester fried chicken. Yeah.

McDonald's. McDonald's. Oh, no, not McDonald's. 7-Elevenven has it stinks now like growing up it didn't smell bad but now they've really expanded that hot food yeah it's also there's just like i remember not that long ago like when a drugstore like shoppers drug mart or rexall would just be medicine and then like medicine adjacent. Yeah, toothpaste. Yeah, and now you just go in there, it's like flour.

You can get like, you can just get like food. That's weird. Yeah, there's a grocery section. Yeah. I don't want that. I don't like it. I mean, I like it enough, but I always end up going home with a lot more Ritz crackers than I had planned on. Zero was my number when going in.

Oh, I think it really. What click were you in? Zero was my number when going in. Oh, I think it really, what click were you in? Oh, taco time. I was a taco time guy. taco time. And,

and yeah, now as we were talking, I was like, you know what? I was a couponer in heist. Cause there was a coupon for, you get two crisp meat burritos. You get,

if you had the coupon, you get two for one. Two crisp meat burritos. Jesus. It's deep fried burritos. Jesus. It was hot. It's deep fried burritos. And I'd muscle two of those back. How big?

Not like a giant burrito. No, they're like, you know. Oh, like the frozen burrito kind. Yeah, like a Winston Churchill cigar type of thing. Sure. Yeah. I mean, and then there was McDonald's. McDonald's's was always like but that was always a very weird because if you if you went during lunch it was a weird assortment of people were hanging out at a mcdonald's it was like it was a table of seniors that meets there every day for

coffee and then some kids and then just surly teens and there was no there was no other fast food place quite like i went to uh a baseball game and they give you uh a and w coupons oh you leave and so i realized i had a and w coupons and it was the day when i was taking care of both kids and we were out we were hiking in the woods and it was like 11 in the morning. And I was like, well, uh, we're done with this hike. What am I going to do now? If this coupon will go to A&W for lunch at 11 in the morning. Yeah.

And it's just construction workers. Cause I guess their days started at seven. Yeah. It's weird too. Try not to swear in front of my daughter and stop cat calling me you guys um yeah i uh went to an a and w and their big thing is that they make their root beer with cane sugar and i was like that's how bad things have gotten that now saying that ours is made with sugar is like we're doing the right yeah yeah yeah

treat yourself to sugar well their big thing there there are no hormones in the meat yeah they they try to be that they had a video showing how like lettuce how they got their lettuce and every six months they their fries are different like just when you thought you liked how they were doing their fries. Like, it's hard to maintain an organic fry supplier, it turns out. We were talking about their veggie burger. We love, you and I, Graham, we love those veggie burgers. Veggie burger at A&W.

They are top. Are you a veggie person? No, but I love an A&W veggie burger. Sometimes if I don't want to feel gross, if I don't, if I want to feel better after fast food, I'll get veggie burgers. But Harvey's you like better. Harvey's is king.

Yeah. I got to try that out. Yeah. But it's not, you see, you don't see Harvey's around that much anymore. There's only, there's one on Granville street. Not far from the club. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Walkable. Okay. Okay. Okay.

And it's kind of like the subway of hamburgers because you get to pick all your. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a beautiful thing. And the other thing that's going on with me.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Other than thinking about how Subway smells. That was a good, that was, yeah. A lot of distance. It was a couple of weeks ago, I was trying to make, I wanted to make something vegetarian. And so I was doing like brown rice with a bunch of vegetables cooked in different ways depending on how crispy i wanted yeah yeah and like you know you had kale you had yams you had whatever well those are the two well no there was i can't remember like a zucchini no zucchini but uh oh uh beans oh yeah

and then a couple other things and uh i got an orange pepper oh yeah orange peppers are fun an orange oh corn corn was on there too right off the cob and um and because those are two things that people when i was a kid you'd hear grown-ups talk about corn tasting sweet or bell peppers tasting sweet yeah and you'd be like no like fruit loops taste sweet yeah what are you talking about idiots yeah oh this corn is so sweet depression era your normal taste buds Oh, this corn is so sweet. Depression era. Your normal taste buds.

And so I bought this, all this stuff. But I could not find the orange bell pepper. Right. And so I'm looking around. Did I put it in the fridge? I shouldn't have. I'm going to use it right away. Did I leave it in the car? I tore apart the car looking for it.

Nowhere. So I just had dinner without it. Oh, Did I leave it in the car? I tore apart the car looking for it. Nowhere. So I just had dinner without it. Oh my God. Oh no. And then a few days later, I'm making dinner again. I go to make, I get some stuff to make a salad from the grocery store. You know, a cucumber. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A carrot. Yeah. Lettuce. You know, cherry tomatoes. Throw some nuts in there? Sure. Seeds? in there? Sure. Seeds? An orange bell pepper.

Ah. Get home, there's no orange bell pepper. Come on. Two times. Is there some kind of energy shield in my house that's giving them out?

Are they langoliering? Or do you have specific amnesia of where you put back the... It's just this movement of putting back an orange bell pepper but i'm also worried that like uh the next time i get pulled over the police will be

like uh license and registration i'll open up my glove compartment two rotten bell peppers in there yeah like is it where your bags were full and you're like i'll just put this bell pepper in my pocket it's no problem and it's in my shorts, and I put them away for the season. I won't find them until next year. Why does everything in our wash smell like bell pepper? So sweet! So, yeah, that's my... Now I'm just like, I have this dull stress

about finding where I'm going to find these rotten bell peppers one day it is weird when you like when you lose something uh but it's in such a short span of time that you're like i'm i'm going insane like oh yeah i know that it was just here i just put it down i turned around i did one thing and now it's not there and when you're in a rush like when you got to get out the door or something and that's now it's not there And when you're in a rush Like when you gotta Get out the door or something And that's happening It's torturous

Yeah do you ever Scream at yourself When you're like Like what do you say To yourself when you're Running around Like when you've done Something where it's all you

I go I'll say like Ugh Clark Or I'll say Dave you really Stepped in it this time What do you mean

what do you say I don't say I say Clark to myself Clark god damn it oh one thing I've noticed is like if I played tennis with past guest Pat Kelly and he when he gets mad

when people are mad they sound like their parents like when you hear someone get frustrated, you're hearing, like... You're hearing generations of frustration, yeah. Like, when he was getting mad at himself for making a bad shot, I forget what he was saying, but he was like,

Oh, Patrick! Or like... And that's what my dad... My dad is, Oh, Donald! And now I'm David David Yeah Yeah

It's Oh man This is This sounds like You're eating real healthy Yeah You're in a good streak Yeah

I mean I'm gonna stop now Yeah Cause of this bell pepper thing Yeah Yeah Well I hope I hope they Turn up like i guess so yeah yeah yeah

i hope they turn up in the compost is it possible your little girl is stealing the bell peppers yeah possible kids love that kind of stuff it is it's as far as a vegetable goes, it's probably the most like... Colorful? Colorful, attractive, looks kind of like a toy. Yeah. Oh, I get the ones with the troll hair coming at the top. That's your special promotional content. And googly eyes. Well, speaking of promotional, I posted this on Instagram. I've seen a lot of people posting it on Instagram.

There's a sticker on bananas nowadays that says uh go to this website for a chance to win a banana costume oh whoa i mean i would go to that website what else am i doing yeah i guess so uh yeah because they did like all of a sudden they started advertising on fruit. Because during the Star Wars, when they were releasing the first new one, all the oranges were in bags that had BB-8. And then all the grapes had Yoda stickers on them. That's true. Every grape.

Individual grapes. Oh, no, that's so frustrated oh i'm trying to make wine here and then there were minions on the bananas i mean and now basketball jerseys have a little uh ad on them that's right yeah yeah yeah and we're going full nascar well as long as long as everybody gets paid. That's all I care about, you know? Now, what's up with you, Graham? It's interesting that you were talking about the smell of Subway.

Because I had, so all week. A napalm. I was working in an office. And it was insane. Because just at certain points during the day the whole office would start to smell like fresh fresh baked cookies or fresh baked cinnamon buns or all of a sudden it would smell like something savory was baking and uh but like it wasn't overpowering enough that you would always comment on it but it happened kind of at the same time every day

and then all of a sudden you're just like super super hungry and I couldn't figure out what it was it was just something on the air and so then I asked somebody I was like are you also at like certain exact times of day smelling this wonderful

smell it wasn't like burnt toast no no it was perfectly done this wonderful smell. It wasn't like burnt toast. No. No, it was perfectly done toast. My favorite. And then it was only on the very last day that somebody who had worked in that office for years was like, oh, the main Starbucks bakery is like literally next door.

Oh. And so it's just all the smells. Where is it? Like on 6th near Main Street. is like literally next door oh and so it's just all the smells but where is it uh like on uh sixths near main street okay that that area down there and uh but it was the schedule like it was the same time every day delicious delicious cookie smell and then that would go away and then it would be all of a sudden like like some kind of bread or like maybe scones. Maybe fresh made scones. Scones bro.

Invite the neighbors over. We've got scones. I used to work somewhere and within a couple of blocks every day at like three o'clock this coffee place that was a couple blocks away would burn coffee. i think they were

maybe roasting it oh but it was just the smell of burnt coffee not like putting it out on the sidewalk and lighting like burning leaves well these beans are no good or was it like on really hot days let's see if it's hot enough to burn coffee on the sidewalk and like what is burned is it so bad or is it it's i don't like it it would give me a headache every day there was this one uh parkade that i would walk by and the vent whatever the smell was that was coming out of that parkade whoa man did it make me want to throw up but it didn't smell like exhaust or anything it smelled like melting plastic. It was really, yeah. It was, I don't, why would that be coming out of a parkade?

I don't know. But from my chair over here, you guys, you guys are good smellers. Yeah, yeah. I mean, this is unprecedented. I've never heard so much smelling talk. Here's another story. You're some of the finest smellers in the world. Graham, I'm taking out my phone

Yeah What is the last text My wife sent to me there That weird burning smell is back So a couple weeks ago I come up the stairs It's like 11 o'clock at night I was working late in the basement and everyone's asleep except Abby.

And, uh, I, I smelled this burning smell. Oh yeah. And I'm like, Abby, we got to,

uh, do you smell that? And she couldn't smell it. And then, because in the bedroom, it didn't smell. It was just in this weird localized area. But as soon as I got to the top of the stairs,

I was like, something's on fire up here. I got the... You got a hairspray bottle? You got to try and make that flame. Where's my bell peppers? Yeah. I was like, Clark.

And I... And then I was like, I wouldn't go to bed. I was searching for this smell. I was like, is something burning in the walls? It smelled like plastic or like electronics burning. So were you like going close to things everywhere and just smelling them? Yeah. And then it was back again, according to this text.

And I figured it out. Some bugs got into a light. Died. Smell of wasps, wings burning off. That sounds like the title of some very, very moody novel.

Smell of wasps, wings burning off. Wow. Yeah. So, yeah. so you've been going to a stink factory you've been working next to a wonderful stink factory

yeah it was really smelling them smells and then this thing happened this is a very small thing but what if it turns out you were working

at a place that makes smelly felts oh that would be the best then I would go there and ask for their rejects yeah it's grape day.

We're doing grape today. Oh, so nice. It must be some kind of small torture to work in a bakery because it's this great, fantastic smell that slowly just becomes associated with work. That's right. And then it kind of ruins one of life's great smells. But I know it's not, not everyone loves it. Really? I know people who are like, I don't have a sweet tooth.

Like I've been to my friend's birthday party and he's like, all right, so everyone help yourselves to cake. I don't want any. Yeah. Yeah. But there's smells that I enjoy of things that I don't want to necessarily eat. Like I like the smell of like sunscreen, but I don't want to like everybody help yourself to some sunscreen. But I don't want to necessarily eat. Like I like the smell of like sunscreen, but I don't want to like everybody help, help yourself to some sunscreen,

but I don't. Yeah, sure. I like the smell of band-aids, but I wouldn't eat one of them. Elmer's glue. I love it. Oh yeah.

It's good smelling. Yeah. Or like, you know, sometimes you smell gasoline and you're like, nice. No, not for me.

No, not one of mine. That's one of mine. Nice gasoline smell. I went through the same torture as you in the house, but mine was phantom smells because my cable. Yeah, it's France. The cable wire is severed outside.

And so you call the cable company, but it's France. So the estimation to help fix was like seven weeks. And I was like, well, I can't not have internet first. So you have to fix it. You have to fix things. You just have to. So I put together this cable wire. Like you soldered it together?

No, I used, they're called dominoes. So you just. That's why you can't get a pizza around there. Anyway, so i put it all back together but it's outside and it rains and stuff so now rain's getting into this open wire thing that i made myself without any knowledge how to so anyway so i'd wake up at night freak out and be like something's on fire and then search around houses it would be the smell of rain nothing it's phantom because i'm so afraid

that this building's gonna burn down you know what i mean smelling things that aren't actually being oh yeah smells bell pepper smelling things that aren't actually being dealt yeah thank you yeah that's right you're doing the time for a crime that's never been committed wait that's not that's not one of the fart ones, is it? Yeah, if you do the crime And then you have to do the time Inside my pants Get your face in there That's not a

What are the fart rhymes? Who denied it supplied it? Yeah, yeah Delta Smelt it, dealt it Those are the two Those are the two I'm most familiar with If you can't do the crime

Don't do the time don't do the time. Can't do the time. Be kind, rewind. The other night I bought something, like a thing of milk, at a convenience store. And the guy gave me back my change, and one of the dimes just fell into the candy rack. And I was like, that's fine, bye. And tried to walk away. But the guy was so i was like that's fine bye and tried to walk away but the guy was like so insistent he's like no here take a dime it was my fault i was like

so now we're having this argument over a dime and i'm like i gotta i don't care and then he's like no take this don't take the dime if you don't have the time so then i went into the candy rack to find the dime because I and it just like it was so much to do over a dime was it loose candy like like gummies

no it was like like you know gum on top and then party in the back anyway

so that's yeah that's what's going on with me wonderful smells and getting in an argument with this i was like so insistent i was like i don't want it and he was like you're taking like it really became his mission to give me this because if we at the end of the year when we balance the books if we have this extra ten dollars or ten cents stuck between two twixes. It's my ass on the line.

Do we want to move on to overheards? Or a little bit of business? Business! Okay. Hi, I'm Ben. And I'm Adam. And we host The Greatest Generation. And we're here to announce a new show. The Greatest Discovery is Maximum Fun's new podcast about the

new Star Trek series, Star Trek Discovery. We're going to be recapping every single episode. It's going to be a limited run podcast, and we hope you'll join us. It's a show that we're really excited to watch, and we're really excited to talk about it and provide our signature f***ing fart joke coverage of a new entry in the star trek franchise so if you like irreverence adult humor irreverence again and star trek we really hope you'll join us on tuesdays on maximum fun or wherever you get your podcast to the greatest discovery oh they made us edit out of the last promo that we submitted so you should keep that part in the promo.

Hey, this is Griffin McElroy. Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. And we've got a new podcast on Max One Fun called Wonderful. Wonderful. It's an enthusiast podcast where we talk about things that we're excited about and things that you're excited about. Things like overalls. 24-hour Sudafed. The grand prize game.

The fact that wombats use their butts to kill predators The soundtrack to the movie Dick Tracy The beach potion we call Bud Lightline All these things and more every Wednesday And we'll also talk about things that you're excited about You can find us on MaximumFun.org or iTunes or wherever I don't know, just search Wonderful Google it, you'll probably get there

Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard It's a segment where we hear things out there In this great land of ours Or in that great land of yours And then we share them here on the podcast And we always like to start with the guest

Okay Will you lead the charge? Alright, so I was on a walk In the park. Actually, it was a barefoot walk. Have you guys, have you ever walked in bare feet? No. It was a barefoot walk.

I mean. Around the house. Yeah. Or the beach. The beach. Yeah. But sometimes you can walk around just like the movie Pretty Woman, you know, when Richard Gere takes off his socks and walks around the park.

That's the idea. Sure. But aren't you worried about pricklies? Yeah. And I'm a huge phobia for needles. Yeah. Huge phobia. But you get over it.

But yeah, HIV is not a death sentence anymore. Right. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah. What about hepatitis? Oh boy, goner. Yeah, yeah. Isn't that Pamela Anderson?

Well, yeah, she was barefoot, barefoot walking. That is, um, maybe the, like 20th most famous scene in pretty woman. I don't remember. I remember her in the bathtub with her headphones.

Yeah. I remember, uh, snapping, snapping the box on her fingers. Big mistake. Big mistake. Big mistake.

Big mistake. Uh, the very end when he climbs up the ladder. Oh yeah. Um, uh, her going, woo, woo, woo, woo. Yeah. Big mistake. Big mistake. Big mistake. Huge. The very end when he climbs up the ladder. Oh, yeah. Her going, woo, woo, woo, woo. Yeah. Oh, yeah. At the fancy race.

Slippery little suckers. Yeah. Slippery little suckers. Her giant, didn't she wear a giant hat at the races? Or now am I thinking of. Big mistake. And the hooker stuff. Yeah. All the hooker stuff Yeah All the hooker stuff

Also One of the things I follow Goop Gwyneth Paltrow's Lifestyle Thing On Twitter And they have like five tweets

That they recycle over and over And one of them is about grounding Which is just the benefits of walking barefoot. So you can talk all about that. Yeah, yeah. So you were grounding. I was grounding. And we were...

What continent is this on? This is in the Canadian continent of North America. And a house backed onto the park and uh that house yeah i'm barefoot walking i'm grounding uh and they happen to have a a a girl's a little girl's birthday party in the backyard so i would say there'd be like 15 um i i would put their age at like 11 or 12 or something like that and um tender but yeah tender age 10 10 too tender for this that i overheard so uh we were walking by and uh and one of the kids said uh

oh cheryl you nasty and then then Cheryl said, yeah, I'm nasty. And just coming from the 11-year-olds, I really thought it was hilarious. And I burst out laughing. How old were you when you realized you were nasty? Oh, boy, probably back when I started knocking boots. Yeah, yeah. And whose boots were your bed been under? Uh-huh, right. Yeah, yeah. And whose boots were your bed been under? Uh-huh, right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess Janet Jackson was who introduced me to the whole concept of being nasty. Nasty. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Or the nasty boys from the WWF. Well, there were, because I grew up with the definition of nasty as being like mean. Yeah.

i grew up with the uh definition of nasty as being like mean yeah and then nasty became uh like there were the two competing definitions are like sexual yeah and like dirty and gross yeah but also maybe you can combine the two like you're nasty so you're dirty sexual. You're like a dirty sexual. Yeah. Yeah. Was there like a dance music band called the Freak Nasty? Possibly. Were they French? Le Freak Nasty. Le Freak Nasty. Yeah.

I mean, I'm ready to believe that. Their song was Da Dip. Oh, Da Dip. Freak Nasty is a person. He's a, uh. He's doing commencement addresses. Carlito Thomas, professionally known as Freak Nasty. He's a hip hop recording artist.

Please, Mr. Nasty was my father. Call me Freak. Yes, Mayor McNasty. Over here. recording artist please mr nasty was my father called me free yes mayor mcnasty over here my overheard yeah is one that was on one of my many trips to the grocery store in the produce section trying to track down this dang bell pepper there was there was a middle-aged white guy working in the produce section, putting fruit away, putting stickers, putting minion stickers on onions. Onions? Onions. Oh, you put a despicable me on the onion. Sure.

A groot. A groot? No. Groo. Groo. Yeah. I'm cool. No, grew.

Grew. Yeah. I'm cool. And there was a, so this middle-aged white guy putting stuff away. And there was also, he was working with a very cool looking young black guy. And I was like, or this guy seemed like he was trying to impress the cool young black guy by trying to seem cool and i heard him say uh so is that cooler banging or what and then i looked at him a little bit like a little suspiciously and the guy the young black guy kind of pauses and the guy says like is it is it making a knocking sound? So he literally was wondering whether the cooler was banging.

Is there a knocking sound coming out of it? Is it banging? Have you been knocking boots? Because there's all these dents here, and they're boot-shaped anyways. It's nasty. Nasty. Oh, you nasty. Damn right I'm nasty. i'm nasty um my uh overheard came courtesy of the train uh there she's back in the atmosphere drops jupiter in her hair yeah

yeah um hey soul sister she was a soul sister She was A gal talking to her friend And they were talking about somebody Or some animal I don't know if it was a person or an animal Why was she a soul sister Oh she was just a female

I was just using that as a leap off I mean I feel a little weird about Calling someone a cool black So I'm like if you're using soul sister then then all bets are off no I was just going off of the sister part but yeah

she was going on and on and on about the series of surgeries that somebody has had or some animal cause that's the part i didn't hear because i was like why is she talking about a human or an animal and then at one point she said jeez i just don't have eventually they're just gonna run out of things to uh to take out of her

and her friend went no like they're not just gonna keep removing things until oh well we've cleared the board it's not operation yeah it's uh but uh it's weird when you don't know whether somebody's talking about a sick animal or sick human a lot of the talk is the same yeah and where how what where do you peg your emotional level you know i was trying that i was hoping that they would you know like if they said you know barb then i'm like well there's no dog named barb sure i'd be terrible terrible dog name or if like i went to the vet because of because of my deaf leopard are they talking about are they talking about their because their dog went deaf listening to deaf leopard or they went to like some kind of someone who's in the military was a big fan of

deaf leopard because he too lost his arm yes yes it all comes around full circle um now we also overheard sent in from people around the world If you want to send one in Send it in to spy at maximumfun.org This first one comes from Bruce H This is Overheard In his own van

You don't think it's Bruce Hornsby? 56 Spartan Street, Ottawa Was that Bruce Hornsby or who was that That did the charity ads when we were a kid? I don't know. Oh, Bruce Coburn. Oh, sure. Yeah.

Who's Bruce Hornsby? That's just the way it is. Doodle-oo, doodle-oo, doodle-oo. Things don't want to be the same. Yeah, things don't want to be the same. I was listening to a good tune while driving with my family and decided to sing along. From the backseat, my three-year-old shouts, Dad, stop singing and let the lady do her work.

Oh. Scorch. Scorch from the backseat. Yikes. Let the lady do her work. I love it. I know. We're singing along to Moana or whatever.

Do you get that from Margot? Dad, stop singing? Yeah. Yeah? And does that just ratchet it up to a new level? Do you sing even louder? Yeah, I tell her, you can't tell other people what to do.

This is a human rights issue. Somebody once told me. And that is literally what I will sing and it bothers her so much. Dad, stop. What was, I'm trying to think,

what do my parents sing that would always drive me up the wall? I know my mom would sing something by Cher. She would really belt out a Cher song.

But yeah, she might have also sang That's Just the Way It Is. That seems like a... Presence B in the Range? This next one comes from Anais W. Anais? Anais, yeah. Cool. This is something that Anais' dad overheard.

He was on the train and two guys behind him were talking at some point in the conversation one guy says this is why i've never been on the internet first you go on the internet next you're working for isis which is yeah that's yeah that's how they recruit you how else are you gonna find your your entry point i know isis i mean geez like there's so many unpaid internships oh there like i don't want to be a 36 year old intern for isis but you gotta start somewhere dave i know it's it's hard though that's what the intern was about right which one is that robert de niro so beautiful yeah she's a she do you think people are coming around on anne hathaway that like they hated her

for a while and do you think like now people are like is it cool to like anne i don't know i've always liked her yeah i like that she tries hard she does she tries very hard she goes she gives her best and now people are flipping the other way on on Swift. Right. She's always been immune to the try-heartedness. She tries really hard, but people love it. Yeah, yeah. But now the old Taylor's dead. Yeah. Do you think she'll come back to life?

I hope so. Where do you stand on Taylor Swift? Yeah. I guess I'm a fan. I don't know if I could, I'm sure I know a few songs. Oh, yeah. I'm sure. But she was always so sweet. That's just the way it is things would never be the swiftest

i think i like her she's nice she seems nice she seems like a good kid that's the old taylor though yeah there's a new bad yeah yeah oh no old taylor's dead yeah really yeah so she wears like dark lipstick and swears yeah yeah. She just wears lip liner now. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. And no lipstick, just lip liner. Yeah.

Just lip liner and eyeliner and that's it. Real weird. Yeah. She wears a leather jacket. She chews on a toothpick. She wears a windbreaker. Yeah. But it gives her armpit bruises.

I don't even care. I'm Taylor. She flips a coin to decide who lives and who dies. She scalps tickets to her own show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's real bad. This last one comes from Darren L. Darren Elenovsky?

Yep. He's got this new movie up. Very scary. uh they're in elenovsky yep he's got this new movie up very scary uh i was walking down the street when a professional looking man and woman walked by as they went by i overheard woman then they played la bomba man la bomba that's a game changer this party just went into overdrive. It is a great song. Whenever you hear it, you do want to sing along.

Oh, yeah. Do you ever cross the border to Spain just to hear it? They're coming. That's how they recruit everyone into ISIS. With La Bamba. With La Bamba. Play it on a loudspeaker. That sounds like a party over there overthrow the government

wait a minute what was that last one Arriba Arriba yeah I think those are the Arriba Arriba La Bamba La Bomba. La Bomba. That's where you get into trouble.

That's right, the internet. God damn it. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also expect your phone calls. Expect them. Yeah. We do. They never catch us unawares.

Yeah. If you would like to call us, our phone number is already here in my brain. Expect them. Yeah. We do. They never catch us unawares. Yeah. If you would like to call us, our phone number is already here. In my brain, it is 1-844-779-7631. Or 1-UGH-SPYPOD1. Like these people have. Hi, Dave Graham, Impossible Guest. This is Andrew calling from Whitehorse with an overheard.

I was recently at the Shoppers Drug Mart, and there was two kids behind me in line. The one turned to the other and said, my mom said it's 9-11 today. And the other kid replies to him, oh yeah, happy 9-11. Oh yeah, I forgot to go get a card. I guess if it's 16 years ago and you weren't born then,

it's like saying, hey, it's Pearl Harbor Day. Yeah. Oh, cool. Thanks. Happy Pearl Harbor Day. Did you get mom some pearls? What is that? I will also say this is, I think I've talked about it in the past on the podcast that like greeting cards have tried to get in on Halloween.

And now the Halloween greeting cards have rolled out but that was never a thing when i we don't exchange halloween cards no oh you exchange candy yeah but uh you don't ever give up what if you gave up cards what's your name samantha have a spooky night. Have a very spooky night. And to the best of the season, you and your mother, happy All Hallows' Eve and have a spooky night. I try to keep the hollow in hollow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm tired of Starbucks.

They don't have the orange cups anymore. Oh, I guess the pumpkin spice. I was going to say, does Starbucks do anything for fall? Boy, oh boy, do they ever. They roll it out early. What are the seasons as defined by Starbucks? So, okay. Fall, easy.

We go pumpkin. Pumpkin. And then a nog latte. A nog. Oh, that's Christmas? So that's winter. So you go, you got nog latte. A nog, oh, that's Christmas? Christmas. So that's winter. So you go, you got a nog latte, gingerbread latte. Yes.

Peppermint latte. Peppermint thingy. Yeah. And then also a, the red cups, that's Christmas. Right. That's Christmas, that's what Christmas means to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then spring, bug juice.

Yeah, they have bug juice, freshly squeezed. They roll out all their teas, their fruit teas. Yeah, and then summer's really like... Frap. Yeah, frap. An iced coffee. Sure. Yeah.

And you can get water for free. Mmm. Here is your next phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham and guests. This is Casey from the States, and I have an overheard for y'all. My husband was playing with our two-and-a-half-year-old son, and he was doing wrestling moves on him and picking him up and throwing him on the bed. And my son would hop off the bed and then run back around and get picked up and thrown again.

And one of the times my son was going in for a hug and said, you know, Daddy, I love you. But my husband didn't hear. And so he just went to like, pick him up over his shoulders and throw him again. And as my son does, or my husband does that, and my son is like in the air kicking, wiggling. He says, no, no, wait. I think I love you. Dad, I think I love you. That's one of the more memorable scenes from Pretty Woman.

I think I love you. What? I was going to suplex you. That is a good thing to say if somebody's trying to put you in a wrestling hall. I think I love you. Oh, boy. Yeah. Fond memories.

Just hearing about being put in wrestling moves by the old man. Good times. Yeah, we don't, our things with Margo are we like to roll her up in the blanket and then pull it away. And then she spins around. And then just chucking her on the bed and dragging her around. Oh, dragging her back and forth

over the bed. That's what, this is all fun. And Poppy loves being thrown in the air like a sack of potatoes. Oh yeah, I love that sack of potatoes. Yeah. Oh yeah. I love that. Yeah. Launch pad. I love launch pad.

You throw, if you're in a pool, you throw the kids as high as you can. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Good times. Good times. Do you have nieces and nephews and. Yeah.

I got McKinley and Raina or Mac and Mac and Raina Macarena. Macarena. Hey. Uh. And it's the best. Did they know when they did that, that that was. Then actually I just asked that question. They did not actually, then my sister tells a

pretty funny story. Cause she said like they signed the paper. Raina was the, the, uh, the recent, most recent. Yeah. And they're like, Raina,

we really, okay, let's do it. And they signed the paper and then the, they took it down the hallway and then they're like Macarena. And then they looked at each other and they're like, Oh my God. That's very funny.

Here is your final overheard. Hi, Dave and Graham and probable guests. This is Alistair. I'm calling from St. Petersburg, Florida. With an overheard, I was at a bookstore, and I heard a couple of guys on the next aisle over who were passing by the Christianity section. And I heard one of them say, hey, this section should be labeled fake. And the guy who was with him said, yeah, never happened, man.

But also, why not fiction? Yeah, in a bookstore. Fake. Fake news. Fake books. Yeah, fake books. Yeah, I love Christianity. Never happened.

Never happened. Never happened, man. There was no... I mean, a fake book section would be cool. Like ones that you put... That are hollowed out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You put a bunch of weed in there.

I went to a bookstore the other day that had a door that was a shelf no yeah no yeah so cool i went to an art museum and all the eyes moved uh that would be a good exhibit you know to have spooky spooky yeah spooky eyes looking at you uh well halloween's right around the corner oh i gotta pick up some cards for the neighborhood kids you open it up and it plays the monster man your house would be egged so much if you were the card person yeah i. I mean, well, I never egged a house on Halloween. Did you participate in eggery? I did egg one house, uh, and we got caught for it. I egged, uh, Mr.

Regimbald's house, our teacher. And, uh, I threw one egg and, but yeah, we got busted and suspended. Oh really? Yeah. That's like, that was he a bad teacher or was it just for fun I think he was a good teacher He was really wound up So you could get him going

But he was a great man and a good teacher But he was just really hyper So kids tend to respond by messing with him A little bit but he was a nice guy Like I can't think of anything worse than Like an egg being thrown in your head And then like rotting. What do you,

you guys spray it off? You want to talk about weird smells that just keep, Oh, I missed an egg somewhere. But also, uh, my friend who works at a body shop said that like when people egg cars, if the egg lands on the kind of the point,

it'll crack the paint. And so he's had to like redo entire vehicles because oh there's he said there's one lamborghini that's been in three times and every time it's only a month between eggings it's always well that is good yeah yeah i think so strike a blow for the working man beautiful because it's like it's not no one gets hurt no that's true it's a victimless crime the victim can afford it yeah and and probably likes having somebody go whoa lamborghini cool whoa lamborghini cool fuck you just like oh i can't imagine what you could buy that would invite people to throw eggs at you.

Like, I guess, a hundred thousand dollar car. Yeah. Yeah. It definitely makes, it makes me feel like I wish I had some eggs whenever. Good. But what if, what if he actually wasn't a rich guy? What if he just, he's like, I can choose between a house. Yeah.

And it really does damage him in it. Yeah, he lives in his mom's basement. I cannot afford to repaint it. So I just, he wasn't. And it really does damage him in it, really. Yeah, he lives in his mom's basement. I cannot afford to repaint it, so I just see it as this crappy. My mom doesn't have a garage, so it has to sit out on the street. He's got a parking pass. It's a convertible, so every time I come back to it, it's filled with loogies. Neighborhood kids took a dump on my car again. Well, I guess that's the price I gotta pay. neighborhood kids took a dump on my car again. No,

no, I guess that's the price I got to pay. Um, now that brings us to the end of the podcast. Paul, do you have anything upcoming that you would like to, uh, to plug?

Sure. Sure. Um, well, for one, I have a brand new website. So you can, uh,

you can go check that out at paulmeierhog.com. And I'm excited. I'm doing a 60 city tour starting September 25th. I'm opening for the very amazing Ed Byrne. And it's 60 cities around the UK. And so I'm very excited about that. Starts next week. So if you're listening in the UK, all the dates are up on Ed's site and my site.

And I couldn't be more jacked. 60 cities. That's crazy. I don't think I can even think of 60 cities total of all this. In the world? Yeah. Like I know there are that many, but I don't think I could name 60.

I think you could. Do you think? Yeah. I don't know. You know what? I guess that's 60 shows. Because like in norwich we're playing norwich three nights in a row so maybe it would be more like 50

you know what i mean yeah so 60 shows but it's a cool tour and uh uh so that's what's going on nice plug that very cool um and uh you folks out there if you you like the show, you should head on over to MaximumFa.org to check out the third to last blog recap. We'll talk about what we'll do going forward. Sure, sure. We still haven't talked about it. Sure, yeah. I have some ideas. Okay.

But it'll be more streamlined. Well, you know what? It'll be different. Oh. Or maybe we'll go back to doing recaps. But anyway, on the blog recap, pictures and videos

of things we talked about. Subway. Subway, Harley Davidson. If only we could post... Pretty Woman. If only we could post smells. Oh, yeah.

Oh. I did, when I was a kid, I thought that would be a part of virtual reality. Yeah. And it has not become, as far as I know, it's not part of the. I thought that as a kid though, too.

I thought you'd be in your house watching a movie and then scent. Yeah. Yeah. That's an obvious step. Why isn't that happening? Yeah. You'd be watching scent of a woman. You just smell Al Pacino the whole time.

Well, that was misleading. Just Old Spice. Oh yeah. Al Pacino the whole time. Well, that was misleading. Just Old Spice. Oh, yeah, but it would work great for, like, Old Spice commercials. Oh, yeah. Because they're really, I hear they're, no one likes their ads. Aren't they, like, the most? Is that true? Everyone loves their ads.

Oh, everyone loves their ads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, maybe something has happened in the. Because they're so zany.any yeah they're really wacky but i guess i guess then they wouldn't have to be zany if we could just like pipe the smell out yeah yeah also like can you imagine watching movie like avatar where it's like it's like a whole new smell that you've never smelled before it's like a whole world of smells you've never smelled or but i guess the problem would be like with axe body spray like yeah if they put that spray out there women would

just start humping their furniture it is the unfortunate side effect of axe bodies for so women would hump their tvs oh boy uh sorry i can't come into work today I got an arm rest up my hoo-ha yeah well if you like the show

please tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting yourself.