Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 499 - Brent Butt

Episode Date: October 9, 2017

Comedian Brent Butt returns to talk about meeting the Queen, dog walking, and trapping mice.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 499 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who is just as excited as me that we're one away from the big 5-0-0, Mr. Dave Shumka. If the planet's still around. Absolutely, if we're still alive.

In the year 2525. Yeah, who sings that song? I want to say Bay City Rollers. Yeah. Do you know that song? I know the song, but I couldn't tell you who did it. I know. Pack of Hippies.

Yeah. I'm not sure. Maybe that's it. Maybe that, is that your guess? The Pack of Hippies? Pack of Hippies. I'm about a Pack of Hippie a day guy. It wouldn wouldn't be like it's not the association they did more kind of uh in the year 25 25 is is that what we think the song is called if mankind is still alive oh

pretty sexist for a pack of hippies look at the guys singing it oh weird zeger and evans wow it looks like they maybe write jingles or are the smothers brothers yeah i thought that it would they would be two guys in like matching foil capes but all the youtube versions of it uh like if you just like the thumbnail that they use for the YouTube video version of year 25, 25, it's all like, uh,

bio domes and sort of like cities of glass. That's a pretty optimistic. We really did drop the ball. I know we're, we're diving into it too soon. Let me introduce you. No, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let him make his point. Who the hell is talking? No, I'll wait.

I'll hold it. That's our guest, very funny comedian, one of our favorite guests here on the podcast, Mr. Brent Butt. Great. Thank you. Do we want to get to know us?

Yeah, absolutely. Get to know us. Now tell me about these cities. Tell me about the future. How did we drop the ball? I'm just saying, we dropped the ball, it seems to me, in terms of what people in the 50s and the 60s thought that we would have accomplished by now. Yeah.

You know, especially in terms of lasers. We really do. But why is it incumbent upon us? Well, yeah. I didn't mean to start a fight. But like they were the ones. This isn't a whole indictment of you and your generation. Like we're futurists.

Is that a word? Were they thinking, okay, this is our vision. Now we take no responsibility for it. Make it happen. You guys go do it. No, you're right. We'll be rotting in the ground. You're right.

I put this on the wrong people so what uh when you were a youngster what did you think would for sure be in existence in your future kind of like i was very susceptible and and i was molded by the media basically whatever i saw last i was like well that's gonna be it for sure this is gonna be great so if it was some dystopian nightmare, I'd be, oh my Lord, this is going to be terrible. The planet's going to be run by monkeys. This is. Whatever movie you saw last. Yeah, whatever kind of I saw last.

I find that I'm, that's kind of the way I am in life a lot. I get manipulated easily by, I get swayed by whoever's made the last argument. It's not forever, but I do. Like that day, you're kind of angsty. It's not until like later I start, if I start thinking about it, I go, oh, maybe not. Right. But in the heat of it. I'm, I'm the way I'm like way more swayed if someone has written an argument like oh i read an article this week i read one article this week and that guy went to the trouble of writing his his idea

down yeah yeah yeah if you uh uh i i guess i when i was a kid i really did think that uh we would already by now we would already be. Back and forth to space? No, I never thought about space. I thought that was just kind of like that had stalled out when I was. When was the last moon? A long time ago. Early 70s? Probably, yeah.

Like, it seemed like space was just kind of like, I don't know, we're just kind of, you know, we'll send people up. But it wasn't even on the news necessarily. Oh, I thought we'd have colonies. This is like, ugh, it's too hard to fake this every time. Ugh, this is going to leak out one of these days. No, I thought we would just have robots in our homes, and I thought it would be. Beyond the Roomba. Beyond the Roomba. Beyond the Roomba. And Siri. Yeah.

We just did an episode of Corner Gas Animated called Zippity Roomba and it involves the robot vacuum. Not by that brand name but a robot vacuum. Now when you write a fictitious TV show and you have to come up with a fake product

what is that your favorite thing? a fictitious TV show and you have to come up with a fake product. Yes. What, uh, uh, is that your favorite thing? Yeah. Or is it always Acme? Like if it's a real, a real product that exists,

but you have to come up with a fake name for it for legal reasons. It is fun to come up with that. We do have a lot of laughs. We usually end up just being kind of more playing it safe and not, um, saying a brand, but like we, sometimes it comes up where you do need a like i remember um in an episode of the live action show where my character uh everybody's making fun

of him because he still had this old camera he hadn't stepped into the digital age and he had this clunky old camera that everybody was roasting for it being a piece of crap so you can't say it's a polaroid or it's a kodak or whatever so i remember us having a lot of fun coming up with names for uh just camera snap master is what made it that's the one that's the snap master the snap master yeah yeah yeah because uh my my favorite uh made up names are on law and order if there's a social media episode zipper yeah flip flap yeah so when they're trying to make up a fake facebook and they're like yeah you had your uh you know page page open you were on name book note friend eggster i bet every one of those ones we just

said the domain is somebody owns that domain. Eggster? For sure. For sure. My friend, past guest, Chris von Zombathy, used to, his job was to make, like, fake webpages for productions. Oh, for, oh, wow. Like, oh, they need to look at a computer screen, or like a fake, or some kind of fake, you know, scientific interface for a forensics person. Yeah, that was something also I thought from watching movies and TV when I was a kid. They'd go into the internet and there would be some sort of black, like green on black kind of scale.

You'd be riding the Matrix. Yeah, you'd be going through a tunnel and stuff. And I thought that's how you would navigate computers in the future. Just get in there. Start pulling levers. I remember when I turned 12, for weeks I was bragging to everyone that we were going to watch The Lawnmower Man at my birthday party. And we did.

Did you send out Lawnmower Man invitations? But guess what? No slow dancing. Please wear coveralls. Is it Jeff Fahey in The Lawnmower Man? I never saw The Lawnmower Man because it's a scary movie, isn't it? Yeah. And I give those a wide berth.

A guy sucked into virtual reality. Is it Edward Furlong? No, is that a different one? No, you're thinking of the the aerosmith video no no no no no yes yes you're always thinking of an aerosmith video no he was in he was in a movie post terminator eddie furlong and it was it was one of these horror movies that was like courted the something to do with the future or something to do with the internet i remember that very distinctly.

When the internet was... Do you want me to look this up for you? Yeah, sure. Sandra Bullock did The Net. Uh-huh. Right? That was another one of those... It's like people knew the internet existed.

This is a thing, right? We should do a movie about it. But they didn't really have the nuts and bolts of it down. And there was also... There were a lot of movies about cell phones. Right at the, like in the late 90s, early 2000s, that was enough to write a whole movie around. Yeah, it was like battery. Your battery is running low.

Whenever somebody's trying to hack in somewhere in the movie. It's always like crazy fast typing and they have to say, come on, come on. At some point when they're hacking in, come on. I'm in. This is after Terminator 2. Yeah.

American Heart. Nope. Pet Sematary 2. It might have been Pet Sematary 2. Aerosmith living on the edge video. A home of our own little odessa do you remember your aerosmith's greatest hits was called what uh big ones and the the video version of it was big ones you can look at and he gets was it the movie brain scan that's it brain

scan they're really walking the tightrope of what's acceptable. Aerosmith? Yeah, in terms of naming things. They were very naughty 45-year-old men. Yeah, that was weird that they had a full-on comeback. Has any band ever done that where they were in their origin? They were in the 70s? Yeah. 70s, 80ies, and then they just kind of went away for a while and then they became huge again. Was it that run?

Was it that run DMC crossover hit that got them back into the public spotlight? Maybe. I don't really know what was going on in the years between like Sweet Emotion and that. Well, Steven Tyler was. going on in the years between like sweet emotion and wasn't the like well steven tyler was uh steven tyler was uh he was all wrapped up in the drug abuse wasn't he sure the booze and the dragon chasing the dragon that kind of thing he was on horse zipped up on the h they were and they were we can't do any music for a little while they were the poison brothers the toxic twins on uh on corner gas they had to call them the poison brothers our favorite bands coming to town but it was a funny like that they were like hey we're back

well they had the 90s but they they were Like between that Run DMC They had like Love in an Elevator And Janie's Got a Gun And stuff like that Before that? No that was after The Run DMC After Run DMC

But before their big Before their Yeah The one with the cow That had a Nipple ring An utter album It was called

Utterly Aerosmith utterly toxic and then not to move to this music i don't know steven's off the drugs but he's on this pun yeah i liked it better when he was on the drugs uh have you ever seen an aerosmith live have you ever seen any of that like a big arena rock band live very the number of live concerts i've been to is very very small um like literally i could probably bang off every live concert i've been to let's do it starting with my first one in tisdale, Saskatchewan, Harlequin came and played

and I brought my Snapmaster. I had a little Polaroid. What is Harlequin's hit? Or hits. Or none. As soon as you say it, I'll know. It's a Canadian, they were a Canadian hair metal? Yeah, a Canadian, Western Canadian

band. Harlequinquin Were they like Glammy Or were they like Jean jackets Oh here it is Yeah more Jean Jackie Yeah

Innocence This The first line in this Really cements It's time and place Because he's talking About calling on a payphone One dime is all

It cost me And I Long intro though Yeah Well everybody's Gotta get their Instrument up Synthesizer going Rocking everybody's dime is all it cost me and I. Long intro though. Yeah. Well, everybody's got to get there. I got a synthesizer going and rocking everybody's world. What is making that sound?

Here we go. What year would this have been when you saw them? Probably 1980, 79. Yeah, probably 1979, 1980. They played the newly built RecPlex in Tisdale. Nice. How many people is that? So they probably would have had 500-ish.

Okay. Five or 600 people in a giant concrete bunker, which is the best for music. But I have my, my uncle had given me an old Polaroid, right? My uncle had given me an old black and white Polaroid camera as a gift. Wow.

And so I thought, I got to take this down to my, my first rock and roll concert. But I only had three pieces of film, you know, three because each, so I blew those on the way to the gig, taking pictures of my buddies,, you know, three. So I blew those on the way to the gig, taking pictures of my buddies.

Pow, pow, pow. So now I'm like, I got nothing. But at least I have to carry around this 15-pound camera. It was a big chunk, like having a textbook around your neck all night. Like carrying a cash register. So, but I remember this moment. I remember this moment as though it happened yesterday. So for whatever reason, the concert's going on and we're fairly close. We're like six or seven.

Do you want me to play the song again in the background? No, it's in my head. I don't even need it. And for whatever reason, I'm just looking through the viewfinder of my camera, you know, just kind of for something to do. Yeah. And the lead singer, God bless him, he sees me and of my camera, you know, just kind of for something to do. Yeah. And the lead singer, God bless him, he sees me and he's like, oh, this kid wants a picture. So he comes over and he bangs off this dramatic

pose, right? And he holds it forever. He's waiting for the flash to go off. And I realized what's happening. So I just keep it there and I start giggling to myself and he holds it for like, he probably gives me 10 seconds to take the shot. And then like, as he's singing, he just gives me

the sourest look like here you could have had the lead singer of Harlequin Quinn instead of like three pictures of the back of my buddy's head as we're walking to the arena. So that I saw that I saw heart in probably 1987 or 88. Oh, where would that have been? Saskatoon? No, Regina.

I was living in Saskatoon, but we drove to Regina to see the concert. Um, Heart is my, uh, three-year-old daughter's favorite band. Oh yeah? Cause she's fascinated with the fact that they're sisters. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's seeing like her and Poppy's future, right? They're going to tour the country. Okay. Oh yeah She's seeing like her and Poppy's future Right there Okay she'll do

Maybe I am the singer and she can Play the guitar And then between that Between Hart and like 88 I don't think I went to another concert Until Here at GM Back in the old GM place days in Vancouver

I saw when, uh, uh, Van Morrison and Joni Mitchell and, uh, and Dylan were all, they did a tour together. Was Paul Simon on it too? No. Okay. Cause that was a tour too. Yeah.

Uh, without Joni Mitchell, but with Van Morrison and Bob Dylan. Maybe Joni Mitchell was trouble. They were like, you know, let's do this again, but lose her number. Yeah, always bringing granola over to the poker game. I met Joni Mitchell. She still smokes.

Does she really? Yeah, I met Joni Mitchell and the Queen of England in the same day. How about that? Same place? Yeah. Queen was at White Spot. Just a crazy day You met the Queen of England? Yes

Shook her hand Wow What kind of handshakes? I can't believe I never told you guys This story before Maybe you have Maybe I have

When was this? So this was in 2005 Because it was The 100th anniversary Of Saskatchewan The centennial They had a big concert

Featuring all kind of Saskatchewan, the centennial. They had a big concert featuring all kind of Saskatchewan performers and stuff. Harlequin. And you got your Harlequins. The Harlequins would have been a good name. Pretty good name. Anyway, they asked me to emcee the event. Who are the big.

Leslie Nielsen was there. We did a sketch together, me and Leslie Nielsen. Really? And, uh, yeah. And so Joni Mitchell. Who's in the Saskatchewan Hall of Fame? Gordie Howe. Was Gordie Howe there?

No. Gordie Howe, I don't believe was there. So. Sorry for bringing it up. Me, Joni Mitchell, uh, uh, uh, Leslie Nielsen, like I said, a lot of like, and then like a lot of, um, you know, locally known, like provincially known people. Sure.

Oh, the, the Michael Burgess, the, the phantom singer. He was great. Oh, yeah. Um. How many rough riders? Zero. Cause it was, it was about performing more really than anything else. So Gordie Howe wasn't there.

He didn't do his. He did a big tap number. He didn't do a little soft shoe. He was very reminiscent of young Franken his He did a big tap number. He didn't do a little soft shoe. He was very reminiscent of young Frankenstein. The tap number. Conk-a-dink-a-conk-a-conk. No, but anyway,

so the queen and Philip, Prince Philip were there. They came. And so then after the show, they came on stage

to meet us all. And challenge you to a rap battle. Yeah. Which they were, it was terrible. They were terrible at it. I thought I was bad they came on stage to meet us all and challenge you to a rap battle yeah which they were it was terrible they were terrible at it I thought I was bad

at rapping I never thought I would meet somebody I could beat they did walk this way she's surrounded by yes men all the time

that's why she's telling her how great she is oh good good rap oh you did it again the weird exchange so the exchange with her

was pretty you know normal and perfunctory. She went down the line of all of us. Were you briefed on how to behave? Yeah, we were given like a little protocol, a little postcard that had all the protocol on it. And little things like you can't extend your hand to shake her. You have to wait for her to extend her hand a lot. Are you allowed to do the thing where you extend your hand and then quickly rub it through your hair? The Bowser. So anyway,

in my mind, I can't say this to be true, in my mind I remember saying to her, how's it going? But that probably didn't happen. But anyway, the weird exchange with her was very creepy. She's shaking hands kind of with everybody and you know. But then her husband boom he's right there he gets in my face and we had this really weird exchange

where he said to me where were you sitting we could barely see you the lighting was terrible we couldn't tell if you were alive or dead are you alive? And I said barely

and he went ha ha barely and then he walked down to the next person. That's as good as it gets. Wow. Yeah. So you got to do

a little bit of kibitzing. Yeah. Also she couldn't have gotten better seats i don't think she booked them herself she probably had somebody she and now he's retired so you're you're in a very exclusive club of people who got to see him in his first 95 years yeah yeah that's that's when I really got into Prince Philip. His early stuff, his first 95 years. I had to do a sketch that night with Leslie Nielsen.

What was the sketch? It was written for us, but I remember it was- By Joni Mitchell. Wow. Dean Jenkinson and Al Ray wrote the sketch. Yeah, yeah. They wrote the show, basically. Anyway, it was a good sketch. It's funny. They wrote the show, basically. Anyway, it was a good sketch, you know, it's funny.

And then there was supposed to be a rehearsal, but Leslie Nielsen didn't make it to the rehearsal, big surprise. And then he shows up and wings it, which the whole sketch is based on. Like, things have to be said in a certain order, and it was all a schlamazel, because he's like, oh, let's just horse around with it, you know. Let's just get up there and horse around. There's 13,000 people.

The Queen of England is there. Yeah, but let's pretend, let's say you're my hairdresser. Get me one of those smocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll just, you know, we'll just have fun up there. Wait, didn't he,

he was like, can we reenact the Queen scene from Naked Guy? Oh, sure, yeah. she was up there giving him the stink eye oh that's that jerk um that's uh that's really cool is you've uh apparently this is something i've heard is if you shake the queen's hand you're allowed to put your elbows on the table at dinner for the rest of your life. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never heard that, but I have been doing that without knowing that rule.

Was that a thing growing up about table manners? You wouldn't do that if the queen was here. Yeah, I mean, I think we would always say, like, what are you saving that for? Do you think the queen's coming over? And then I'd have these long fantasies in my head of what the queen would do if she came over to my house like what's it like if the queen came to a house like mine the only time the queen comes to houses like mine it's because she's visiting the poor yeah yeah yeah and she's like oh oh my there's things on the floor i remembered uh when

i was on stage waiting for her to make her way down the line of people just shaking their hands. I vividly recalled a conversation that I had with my older brother, John, who's 10 years older than me. So at around the age of, I don't know, say I'm like five or six and he's 15 or 16. Yeah. I remember saying, I wouldn't want to meet the queen because if she doesn't like you, she could chop your head off, right? And he says, she can't chop your head off. He's like, have no patience for me being five. She can't chop your head off.

Yes, she can. The queen or the king, they could have your head taken off, right? Ah, she can't. We had this little back and forth. And he said, well, relax. You're never going to meet the queen anyway. Ah. I'm about to meet the queen.

And true to, he was right. She did not chop my head off. But she could have. She could have. It was probably within her right. She had a big bag full of heads. It sounds like the type of argument that a parent would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. The queen can chop your head off.

If you don't eat your vegetables. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop pestering your little brother. Let him think the queen Can chop his head off I imagine she probably Is probably some kind of Dusty old law Who is she had killed

Diana Yeah Doty Doty By proxy The driver Yeah Some poor that gave her

The stink eye Sure She used to Nancy read this story About how the queen Oh Freddie Mercury Yep yep She didn to, Nancy read this story about how the queen would. Freddie Mercury. Yep, yep, yep.

She didn't like him using the name. Because she likes her ciggies, right? The queen? Maybe she's quit now, I don't know. But she was a smoker.

She liked her cigs. Right. And so, she apparently stopped someone. She was at a cig, stopped the driver and he couldn't kind of,

she needed a butt, you know? And he was like, where he was stopping, he couldn't really stop. She was like needed a butt, you know, and he was like, where he was stopping, he, he couldn't really stop. She's like, I'll just run in and get them. She runs into like a corner store and buys a pack of sickies.

Some Rothmans. She's like, here's a photo of myself to pay for these. Here's a bunch of little metal things with me on them. But the store, the shopkeeper apparently said, you look, you, you look like the queen and she said,

how very reassuring or something. How terribly reassuring. That's a. I don't know how that conversation was captured. Because if the store

owner knew it was her, she wouldn't have said the thing. And if, why would she recount if she didn't know? So I think it might be fabricated.

What about the, have you ever heard about the Charlie Chaplin entering in the Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest? No. It was later in his life, and I think he was on holiday with his wife, and he saw that there was like a fair, and they were having a Charlie Chaplin lookalike. So he, you know, put together. He travels with his gear still. Put together a look.

Lost. Lost. Gravels with his gear still. Put together a look. Lost. I, uh, uh, I'm, I'm just, now I'm just going to say a funny thing that happened on the show. Friends. Uh, one time Chandler and Ross were like making fun of each other.

And one of them had one of vanilla ice lookalike contest. And the other one came in third and cried. That's worth getting roasted over for sure or rosted it's uh it's funny that because like it's funny picturing the queen smoking because it just seems like like uh you know way also picture her bowling now it's easy now does she take the gloves off to smoke the yellow stained fingers on her white gloves bowling. Now it's easy. Does she take the gloves off to smoke? The yellow stained fingers on her white gloves.

Bring me my smoking gloves. Do you have an ashtray? No, it's all just uses this, uh, Dunkin Donuts cup. Uh, she just uses the land. The whole country is my ashtray.

She just, wherever she is, she just puts it. I don't think I've ever seen, I've heard about lookalike contests, but I've never seen one. I've been the subject of. Oh, really? Where there were like, you know, a Brent Leroy

lookalike contest when Corner Gas was at its height, there were, and I forget people say, I get this a lot. People go, I saw that, I saw your doppelganger in the wherever, Edmonton Airport. And they took a picture. And it's the worst looking human alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's kind of demoralizing. But it's also like, God damn, he does kind of look like me. You kind of got to accept it. Ooh. I know. That's a picture of a pile of rags. A pair of the Queens. But yeah, there's some just potato looking dudes

out there the people go I saw your double your twin just a picture of potato with glasses on it is this you is there a mrs. potato oh there is yeah I've had that where people have sent

photos and said this looks like you and it's never. It's always just someone with an enormous beard. Yeah. And more often than not, some guy who's also fat. Well, that's what I get. It's generally, it's the triumvirate, right? Fat, bald glasses.

If you have fat, bald glasses, people are like, hey, look, it's your, check it out. I, I get the most just like bland white guy. Like, hey, you're somewhere in the middle. I think this guy looks like you. Okay. All right. But if you blink, you will forget he existed. Somebody sends you a picture of a thousand guys.

I saw your doppelganger. I went to Getty Images and Googled generic. I Googled through Getty Images. Do you recall what the prize was for any of these? Chili cheese dog, probably. Yeah. No, I mean, there were various, you know. These weren't sanctioned.

No, so like an office Christmas party or something like that. Or, you know, some small town event they would have. That kind of thing. So it was like an office Christmas party or something like that. Right. Or, you know, some small town event they would have, that kind of thing. So it was never, yeah. It's not like we were organizing it. I was trying to find, I wanted to fake my death. So I was trying to find who in Canada looked the most like me.

It was part of an elaborate. You're like Saddam Hussein. You have a bunch of doubles. I was thinking Julia Roberts in a movie where she faked her death. What was the one where she had the abusive husband, so she threw herself overboard or whatever? Yeah, it was the sleeping with the enemy. Yeah, sleeping with the enemy.

It's Julia Roberts. Where have you gone, Julia Roberts? A lonely nation turns its eyes to you. She's just kind of, I know she was in Charlie Wilson's War. And then that's the- She was in that one with the other Tom Hanks one where he's riding a scooter and he's like a community college teacher. Oh, yeah. Was she in that?

Yeah, I think she was in that. Yeah. I mean- There's kind of a lot of movies like that where it's like, why? Who is this for? Like the movie like that where it's, you know, good actors. No one can remember the name of it. Yeah.

Like I watched the Robert De Niro movie, The Comedian. I was like, I don't know who this is for. Like people who do comedy would go, well, that's not right. And people who don't like comedy would be like, this is still not funny. But it's got 30 super famous people in it. Yeah. And it's like, you know, it was a big budget, I assume. Well, that's the thing.

Sometimes if you just attach enough names to something, then you get the money to do it. And then you're like, all right, let's hammer out a story. I promised them we'd have this movie. I shut my mouth off at a Hollywood restaurant. enough names to something, then you get the money to do it. And then you're like, all right, let's hammer out a story. I promised them we'd have this movie. I shut my mouth off at a Hollywood party. And Tom Hanks wants to write a scooter in a movie, so we got to incorporate that somehow. Yeah. But there are a lot of movies like that that come out where,

or the other Robert De Niro one, The Intern, where you're like, well, who is supposed to watch this? Or like it's movies where, I mean, like Julia Roberts would make a movie a year and it would be a huge movie. Yeah. And now, I mean, they don't write movies for 50-year-old women, really. This is true. But now. Here's what I think.

When you hear things like, because that's true, of course, it's true. Yeah. Now here's what I think when you, when you hear things like, cause that's true, of course it's true. Yeah. Um, so you put yourself in Julia Roberts shoes like you haven't, but, uh, so now you're loaded. You got money coming out of, right.

Every pocket you're dripping with cash. You're like, yo, I haven't, I haven't had, I haven't used this handbag in a while. You open it up, there's $80 million. Oh, this is all, these are, this money's so old. Yeah. I don't even this handbag in a while. You open it up, there's $80 million in it. Oh, this is all, this money's so old. Yeah, I don't even want to spend it. Yeah, these are French francs. They don't even use these anymore.

These are Weimar Republic marks. So if you're in a situation where you have nothing but money and you're, you know, famous, you, why couldn't you just say, okay, nobody writes, I'm just going to hire a good writer to write a movie for a 50 year old woman. Right. Right.

Top script writer, give them whatever, you know. Isn't this the, the, the plot of, uh, Sunset Boulevard? Well, maybe it is. Yeah. I think he ends up dead. And that's why they don't do it. Scared everybody away.

Yeah. Why does anybody go in the water anymore? Didn't they say Jaws? But, you know, they can do all this, like, you know, when it's, like, the latest Avengers or whatever, or Ant-Man, they, like like digitally made michael douglas look really young again why can't they just if you know julia roberts just goes in and says now

i'm just gonna play 25 year old julia roberts again but maybe the reference photo this is a product that maybe this is a byproduct of me being in my 50sies now. Oh, I wouldn't have guessed that. I have no, uh, particular desire to see like young people in movies. I don't care if they're young, but I don't care if they're middle-aged or old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm at the maybe, but I also don't remember ever like, I'm going to go see that movie

because somebody is young, fresh and hot. Like, was that ever a, was that ever a determining factor for you? Yeah. I think when I was a teen. Really? I think I was always interested. I just went to every movie when I was a teen. Yeah.

Like every weekend. Whatever was playing at the Falcon Theater. I would. And they would let anybody in. I would go, yeah, I needed to see young Jean-Claude Van Damme because those muscles aren't going to stretch forever. That groin's not going to be as springy when he's 50.

And how wrong you were. Yep. Doing them splits on the chairs. Yeah, I... With his junk dangling on the floor when he's 60. You don't want that. He's trying to jump out of the way of a laser beam. Sorry.

Oops. Onk, oink. Your balls have set off the security system. I thought that was a laser chopping off his balls. I thought that was his sound responding to the laser chopping off his balls.

Some French kind of Well, that's racist. No, it was like an entrapment style laser security system. It's from the movies called Family Jewels. Yeah. Yeah, I would go and see every movie when I was younger,

but I think I would... Maybe I would go see an Alicia Silverstone movie twice. Just because? Just because, sure. Even if the plot. Okay, but teenagers aside, all right, I get teenagers aside, but in your 20s, did you do it? Right?

And so who's the movie market for? This is a legitimate question. I don't know the answer to. Like when Hollywood studio movie executives are targeting, we want to make fat bank. I assume that's how they talk. Yeah. Yeah. PH.

Um, who are they, who are they targeting? They must be like a demo, the sweet spot demographic. Oh, it is gotta be teens, right? I think it's gotta be, uh, like the planet. Like don't they, cause they're like, oh, we need a movie that we can also dub into Chinese and triple our money. Yeah. And also I think like, uh, every movie studio now wants a movie that is connected to another movie so that people will go see that.

Like they all want their own universe. Yeah. movie so that people will go see that like they all want their own universe yeah because it all comes down to maximizing shareholder profit right yeah back in the day when uh making 10 million bucks somebody was happy with yeah now you get your you're burned you're canned if all you do is you do a project that only turns a 10 million dollar profit you can look up old movies and their budgets and how much money they made and they'll be like a super famous movie from the 70s in it. It was made for $13 million,

then it made $17 million, and it's like, you know, Kramer versus Kramer or whatever. Champagne was flowing. Everybody's happy as a clam. Well, now, I'm off on a tightrope. Here we go. And I'm nothing if not a capitalist.

I like to think I'm a capitalist. Sure. I'm just not. He's wearing a tightrope. Here we go. And I'm nothing if not a capitalist. I like to think I'm a capitalist. Sure. I'm just not. He's wearing a beaver tail top hat and he's smoking a cigar. And eating a beaver tail. He's eating a beaver tail. He's got a pig's nose. Wearing a pig's nose just to drive the point home.

Anybody who's wondering, top hat and pig's nose. Wait a minute. What about a communist pig? Capitalist pig? I guess they both work. There's pigs in every. Yeah. Yeah.

But yeah, I'm, I've, I've always considered, I've always been entrepreneurial. I always liked the notion of making a buck, you know, and, uh, but this notion of like a, a, a completely unregulated free market is like, it seems crazy to me. It's like, well, who, who's buying into that? As someone who makes movies. Well, that's it. It's like, I'm all for a movie making a profit that I'm in, God forbid. That's just, I don't know what we would do,

but I'm all for that. But the notion is, but at the at the at any cost right yeah well not just a profit grind everything to dust right well so that we can maximize our profit i'm like well hey whoa it has just become the the only things that can get made are like sure bets yeah unless it's something that like a studio smells like oscar bait on or if it's like well we made this movie anyway and we we're hoping netflix buys it yeah yeah because more uh the the the gear that it takes to make a quality movie is getting more and more within the hands of like back in the day to make a to make a professional looking film, you know,

the camera you would need and the lighting that you would need and all that kind of stuff was out of the grasp of anybody except a big Hollywood studio, really. Yeah. But now software and, you know, really good cameras are within the grasp of people. So that kind of democratizes it so that

there's a, there's a lot of terrible ideas out there getting made into a product. But, but at the same time, if you people, you know, anybody could make a movie and just through sheer math, some of them are going to be good. Right. Yeah. You'd think. I think so. But even, uh, what's his name? You know, the guy who wrote being John Malkovich and Eternal Sunshine.

Charlie Kaufman. Kaufman. He can't get a movie made. And it's like a guy who like has won Oscars and stuff. And he had to like crowdfund his last movie, which seems weird. Yeah. Like a guy that people are like, this guy's the one true genius working in film. Don't give him any money.

Last thing we want around here is a true genius working in film. Don't give him any money. The last thing we want around here is a true genius. I mean, I bet somebody's actually said that in a studio executive. The last damn thing we need is a genius artist in here. Now, can we get Godzilla to fight the Transformer? Is that

two properties we can melt together? And with kids movies, they like to have a sequel because a lot of the kids don't get to see the movie at first, but they end up buying the toys and

then they're just waiting for that sequel to come out. Oh, give me the minions. Give me those minions. And like, what was,

I think I talked about it on the podcast before there was a, I watched a documentary on the making of that Batman and Robin movie with Joel Schumacher. Batman and Robin? Batman and Robin. What was that movie called? The Batman and Robin movie.

I mean, Robin is in Batman Forever, too. That's true. But he said that the company came to them with the toys that they had designed and they were like put these in the you have to put these in the movie so they had to write scenes around these toys so there was a bad boat and a different plane and all these you know there had to be like multiple different suits it won an oscar for uh integration product integration we're about a year and a half away from that And then it just shows Like different cups

From Subway Oh boy And then AFI releases it's Shop 100 product integrations Oh what do you think would be on that list Oh boy back to the future Pepsi Oh yeah yeah yeah George Clooney in a Snuggie.

What are the best ones ever? Well, like recently. I mean Reese's Pieces. Yeah, that started it all, right? Wasn't that the big one? Oh, really? In E.T.? Yeah.

That was the first big and overt kind of where people talked about it. And apparently they asked M&M's and M&M's said no. Ah, see, I have a story kind of like that. Oh. It was a sweet moment for me. Because in Corner Gas, we had the potato chips instead of chocolate bars and stuff like that out there, right? Yeah, you had Choco Bar.

You had. Hugh Mungus was one of them. It was named after our art director, Hugh. Anyway, again, this is, I've done this show enough times now I'm thinking, every time I go to tell a story, I'm like, did I tell this story? You can cut it out if I could. On the other hand, we've done this show way more

times than we don't remember. Yeah, exactly. And I am a terrible storyteller, so I may have told this story, everybody's forgotten it. But anyway, season two rolls around. Season one of Corner G Gas is a big hit. Season two rolls around now. We're in the process of making season two.

I get a letter. We get a letter. The production company gets a letter from, uh, old Dutch chips and they, they, they're giving me a damn good dressing down, right? Saying you, you say this is like a, uh, uh, rural Western Canadian show, but all the potato chips on the shelf are hostess. If you wanted it to be authentic,

you should have old Dutch chips there, you know? And I was able to write back and say, yeah, we ask you. You said no. Ah, yes. Oh, sweet. So cut to a truck pulling up with a bunch of old Dutch products. Oh. What are the ones, the like very Eastern ones, Humpty Dumpty? Is that a one? Oh. Yeah, there's Humpty's eastern ones? Humpty Dumpty?

Is that a one? Yeah, there's Humpty's. We ran Humpty Dumpty. I never had those. And then there's another one. Yeah, what are they called? They do. They have a crazy rhyming name.

It'll come to me. Oh. But Alicia Tobin loves them. I know that. I don't remember. They're called, it's on the tip of my tongue. This is brutal. Old Dutch?

They're like tater waiters or something like that. Let's do some guesses. That's a fancy restaurant where they have a waiter who just brings potatoes. His whole job is just... All he does is... He's the tater waiter. We've got a grouton. Send over the tater waiter.

What are your top five ways to eat potatoes? Upside down. Sure. In bed. Potatoes gratin, as you mentioned, is right up there. Also potato salad would be hard for me. I always forget about potato salad. My number one is mashed.

I'm never not thinking about potato salad. I'll take mashed over fries. I'll take mashed over hash browns. Mashed is pretty fantastic. It's really just a butter delivery system. I also love a latke. Oh. That's like a delicious, crunchy way to eat a potato.

But you can fool yourself into thinking that it's healthy somehow. Are potatoes themselves bad for you? but you can fool yourself into thinking that it's healthy somehow. Are they bad? Are potatoes themselves bad for you? No, but fried. Yeah, if you fry anything, right, it's not, it loses, it starts to get, depending how much it's fried and all this stuff. I was always like, growing up, we always had a meat, a vegetable and a starch. And I don't think you need the starch.

Yeah, you don't need it. You can live forever without it, right? But it's a miserable existence a starch. And I don't think you need the starch. Yeah. You don't need it. You can live forever without it. Right. But, uh, you, it's a miserable existence. Yeah.

What are all the starches? I know potato, but then. Potato bread. Pasta. Dreaming about death all day long. Yeah. Rice.

Rice. Pasta. Oh yeah. So everything. Sometimes we just have a box of starch. Sometimes we just have a, we'll go to the laundry room. If we forgot to get potatoes that day at the grocery store.

Did you have, what is like a starch shirt? Is it. Stiff? Yeah, but where do they, where does the starch come from? Is it a, is it cornstarch that's been mixed with water? Might be. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't have the answer to this. You don't have a box of starch in your laundry room. No, I do not. I don't, I don't have the answer to this. You don't have a box of starch in your laundry room. No, I do not. I don't know anything. I do know that somebody told me, you know how after a gas station closes down, they can't build anything on the land for X amount of years, right? Until the ghosts go away. Yeah, exactly.

And they're like, why did we build this on an Indian barrel grill? Same with a dry cleaner. If a dry cleaner closes down, you have to, because all the chemicals, I guess, that will land on the floor will seep into the earth, so you have to. Oh, yuck. But not into your skin, everybody. It's okay. Yeah, you're fine. I don't understand

dry cleaning. I don't know how it works. This is like the start of a great bit. Here it comes. Let me break it down for you. Talk it to me. great bit. Here it comes. Let me break it down for you. Talk it to me. They martinize it. Oh.

What's it take? About an hour? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, a little cheaper if you wait a week. Jerry Seinfeld did the bit about dry.

There's no such thing as dry cleaning, right? Yeah, you tap on it, you blow on it. It's got to be, there's some kind of moisture.

You're telling me they're not spraying something on there? Like when you drop something on your shirt and you do this that's dry clean i just watched his uh new uh special his new special of old material yeah and it's like also part documentary yeah like it's uh did you watch it yeah yeah it's kind of neat yeah i think he's didn't they hire him to do two or three documentaries yeah like it feels like and he paid him 40 million dollars or something it was like this document this uh this special like is

like okay does this count towards your specials like it's like a band putting out a greatest hits album like are you out of your contract now yeah he uh but watching it i was like why isn't every comedy special like this where there's like a little, and we go off from the stand-up for a bit, and then we come back to it? Because it was refreshing. And he does old bits. It's weird to see a special where the audience knows the bit already, and they're kind of going along with it. Because wasn't that the, I'm telling you for the last time, that was the idea behind it, I'm getting rid of all these jokes. Yeah. I i'm telling you for the last time that was the idea behind i'm getting rid of all these jokes yeah i'm telling you these for the last and this was the premise

of this is uh what's this is everything before he got his break on the tonight yeah but it's everything that he did at this one club yeah the comic strip sure yeah uh and and it's but it's funny like a lot of that they're not dated like it's, but it's funny, like a lot of it, they're not dated. Like it's still like joke about laundry joke about, you know, dating, like it all still is. It could have been written yesterday. I'm sure he must've taken out, like, have you seen this commercial? Cause I've always wanted to do, and I'm really like seriously thinking about putting this together is cause I've never done a standup special. So I would like to do one, get it out there for posterity you should go on comics

well i wouldn't call that a stand-up special but you know so my idea is to to record basically the same set but in two venues one kind of a bigger theater like i do when i'm on the road yeah and one at a smaller club like where you go and hammer out bits you know like the so this is a good idea so the special is mixed up between uh you know the small venue and the big venue sometimes in the middle of a joke so you'll see me set up the joke in the small venue and then then the payoff is in the big venue, vice versa. And it, it is a little bit of intercut with me talking about the difference between the venues and the, I like it.

I, for some reason, I was like, has someone done this before? And the first thing that came to my mind was Jeff Dunham. Jeff Dunham, Dunham and I. It starts with him with a sock puppet,

and then he works his way up to a big racist puppet. Also, it would be very funny if all the setups were in the small club. All the payoffs are in the big, giant theater. Or vice versa. Setup, and then just like this 11 people in a tiny room. Just quiet. Just here. Payoffs.

Yeah, somebody paying their bill. You're like one guy. Yeah, or somebody doing this. You're like one guy Yeah or somebody doing this It would be fun to do that In the old urban well spot Which is like It was a

I don't know if it still is It's a jazz Club now Oh is it? I thought it was a sushi club It was a Japanese restaurant For a while It was a

Hapa Itsukaya Hapa Hapa Hapa Itsukaya And then Stop being that I think it was actually Briefly something else And then it was being that. I think it was actually briefly something else.

And then it was the jazz note or the blue jazz or something. Like a jazz cafe. Yeah. Sure. And what year was this? That's the most recent that I know. Within the last year, it was this jazz place. That's so strange that someone would be like, well, a sushi bar didn't work here.

The trendiest food we have. Let's go with jazz. We're going to go the complete opposite direction. We're going to go with jazz. But it's kind of like there's a bit of an argument to be made because we're lousy with sushi restaurants. Yeah. Not a lot of jazz places. So the argument would be maybe there's a market to be served here, especially because the cell jazz closed down right like the only other no and rossini's the which was across the street

that was a jazz place which is now the nook this is great for people who don't live in no but this is people come to town they go where where do i go where can i get jazz oh there's a roving jazz restaurant. Remember the jazz sushi joint? If you combined the two. Uh-huh. That's not a bad idea. Isn't it? I don't know. I don't know that it's not a bad idea. But the thing about...

Under the premise there are no bad ideas, then sure. If you buy into that. Does a jazz place have to... Like, they can't open for dinner at 5

and start doing 5 p.m. jazz. Jazz is late night. I think you do. You do something really peppy at 5. You do like a Dixiel. Jazz is late night. I think you do something really peppy at 5. You do like a Dixieland. Oh, sure. Yeah, you do big band. And then you move into the more

moody stuff. You know, date night jazz. Yeah, from 3 to 6 we have Glenn Miller happy hour. And then the real stuff comes out. Yeah, at 1 o'clock it's some guy with a vacuum tube connected to a trumpet and you're like, it's brilliant. Robot jazz. Some sort of robot jazz. But it's some guy with a vacuum tube connected to a trumpet and you're like a robot but it's also i feel like jazz took a hit uh when um when they got rid of smoking in restaurants because

jazz seems really cool with like you know just yeah let me put my cigarette down while i blow on this horn oh i wonder yo I put down my vape pen. This isn't, this isn't my overheard, but I just, speaking of that, yeah, a great moment where there was a guy sitting and vaping,

you know, like the, the amount of the cloud that comes out of a human vaping is ridiculous, right? Yeah. And this old guy was walking by and the cloud come up and the old guy was like, ah, for Christ's sake.

Like it was so, such a great. Yeah. Well, that's because our body is 80% water. So we can produce so much weight. Yeah. It is like if you see somebody from a distance doing it, it's. Yeah, it's alarm. It's like a car fire.

Yeah. It's like our, it's like our Vancouver steam clock. Exactly. It's just billowing and billowing but uh is that like is that a special skill or just can everybody seems like everybody i see vaping i think i don't think it's the a person i don't think there's a skill to it i think it's coming out of the pen oh right so it comes into your lungs then you exhale it's just a crazy amount of uh like the size of the cloud

is ridiculous that's great is that the cloud when everybody talks about my photos are in the cloud they're in that guy's cloud uh uh dave what's going on with you man oh not much yeah well we've been talking for a long time yeah Yeah. Let's see what's quick. Oh, I've been, I don't know if this happens to you, but I walk my dog around the neighborhood. I do do that. Graham, what have you been up to? I was quick. And I walk, I usually take the same route. And it's for the last like year or two, because when he was young, we would meet other people.

We'd meet other dogs in the neighborhood. I don't know if something in the neighborhood has changed. I don't know if I've changed, but now everyone crosses the street. Everyone seems to have a dog. They don't want to meet other dogs. People want to keep their dogs. Here? Like, or they're afraid that their dog is going to bite your dog.

I've had to, I was always like, when we walked a dog it was always like let the dogs meet or whatever then we had a couple encounters where it was like holy lord the dogs are going to kill each other pull them apart Oliver got attacked a couple times and it seemed to have changed him

now sometimes he can be the aggressor but I think it's you know they say it's also like I'm wearing it completely I think it's, you know, they say it's also like, uh, I'm wearing it completely. I think it's like the bad vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I try to be all casual, loosey-goosey with the leash, but now I'm just like, ugh, there's another dime crossing the street.

Oh. Ah, so it's just, it's too much. Yeah, it's trouble. Because grandpa. I'm walking around with a loaded gun. Grandpa has always been the most submissive dog in the world. Like he would, for the first 11 years of his life, he would go on his back and show everyone his belly.

Like if, if he met a tiny puppy Chihuahua, he'd be like, okay, you're the boss. You're the boss. Have a sniff. And now he's kind of too old to lie down and roll over all the time. But, uh, the other day I walked the other direction. I went west. I usually walk east and met so many dogs who were so nice and so many people who were like, can my dog meet your dog?

Oh, so maybe it's a directional thing. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, go east, young man. No, go west. No, yeah, go west. If you want to meet some nice dogs. Yeah. Also, I went to, like, I usually just go through the neighborhood, but I was on a busy street.

People can't cross a busy street. Ah, and also maybe those dogs are just, there's so much noise and stuff. They've just been exposed to it all. And there's so many people around. They're like, ah,

another dog. Finally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, and they're also like, uh,

it's kind of like how you can't get, you know, murdered on the street during the day where there's lots of people around, you know, like the dogs. You can come pretty close sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if I. Yeah, that's true. If I see somebody coming with a small dog, I don't worry about it because Oliver, I don't know, whatever it is, but small dogs.

A, if it comes down to it, they're not, you know, they're not going to tear my dog apart. They might bite him. They might, you know, mess with his emotions. But, um, also Oliver, the only time Oliver has ever had any trouble is a dog's his own size. And so he, I think he, when he sees a dog his own size, it's kind of like a, which one of us is the boss and there's a bit of puffing up and

a posturing and then. For the home listener, Oliver's a big dog. He's yeah not giant he's 76 pounds he's the he's the smallest big dog you can have um on the on the food chart oh sure when they say small medium large uh extra large he's a small extra large giant Giant, two dogs posing as a human. The large dog, they say is 75 to 100 pounds and Oliver's 76 pounds. So he's, he's just in the large dog category.

So is there any extra large category above a hundred pounds? Yes. What are those? Newfoundlands? Yeah. Newfoundlands, St. Bernard's,

Wolfhounds. Those mountains. Great Danes. Giant. Giant Pyrenees. Pyrenees. Ah. So yeah, dogs, meeting dogs. It's nice to meet dogs again. Giant. Giant Pyrenees. Pyrenees. Yeah. Ah. So yeah, dogs, meeting dogs.

It's nice to meet dogs again. Yeah. But it's not like, I mean, Oliver socializes a lot because I take him to the dog park every day and he's got his group of buddies and it's cool because now, um, it seems lately there've been a lot of new dogs being brought to the dog park. Nude dogs?

Nude. Well. Bare naked. Yeah. Most of them are. I mean, there's been a lot of new dogs being brought to the dog park. Nude dogs? Nude. Well. Bare naked. Yeah. Collarless. Most of them are. I mean, there's occasionally a dog wearing a fancy coat.

Neckerchief. Yeah. I was cracking up yesterday because there was two puppies that had never been to the dog park before. One quite young, like four months old, and one that's like eight months old. And they were playing together, wrestling as

the puppies will do. And every now and then, for whatever reason, Oliver would go in and break it up. And it was a real, like, I'm big and strong and you're nothing, right? It was a real like weird power play in his part. It was cracking me up. Cause he wouldn't do anything, but he would

just go in between them and kind of stand there with his tail up all puffed out and they would like, okay, you're the boss. You can fight when I tell you. Then he would trot back to me. Did you see what I did? What's going on down there? You kids?

Yeah. It was like cracking me up. I was like, wow, you're a real big man, aren't you? Real tough guy. Bossing those kids around. And then his tail wags. He thinks he's getting praised. Yeah, I'm a big man.

No sense of irony or sarcasm. Way to go. Thank you. So yeah, dog stuff. What's going on with you? Told you it was quick. Yeah, it was quick. uh so yeah dog stuff what's going on with you uh told you it was quick that was quick uh my uh

at my place say there's a mouse has somehow gotten into this and i'm trying to the time of year yeah it really is like they're looking to get inside almost to the day like the day that it kind of got cold and then there was a mouse sighting and uh so i was like put everything in you know up high in cupboards and uh you know in boxes and bags and bows whiskers on kittens yeah and uh but i want to capture this i want to capture this guy alive this is because i've use him as an example. Make an ISIS video. Mysis. Yeah, a Mysis video.

So, like, I've only tried one. These are things I've looked online. Yeah, I think it's adorable that you think there's one mouse. Oh, no, I've only tried one trap. Right, but that you want to capture this one mouse. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure there's more than one, but I got to pick them off one at a time. It's the thing.

I'm not going to try and go for a mass rounding up. So I tried one trap, and it didn but, uh, I think it was close. It was close to working. It went off. It went off. Okay. So it went off, but it didn't, uh, capture. So I'm going to build another one today.

Uh, are you going to buy the board game mouse trap? Yeah, I might buy it. Is that how you're going to build one? Very elaborate. But I've done the, I've already done it with the traps and stuff, and it's just horrifying. So, and I figure, the reason that I think that it's a limited amount is because my, the owner of the house has three cats. Oh. So it's, I don't think that there's like, it's not a problem.

Like it's one got in or two got in maybe. But I figure once i get them out like those cats are they're prowling they are ready so you want to capture it alive and bring it upstairs yeah yeah i mean you know it's often bring their owners a present yeah exactly it's not my problem anymore uh you know i i don't mind nature taking its course If I let the mouse out and the cat gets You guys figure it out Yeah, yeah, yeah, or a crow, whatever Whatever, crows attack mice

I'm the opposite It can be quite gruesome Yeah But, uh, we're not running out of mice No, I know, I, uh, I was just sparing myself the gruesomosity I think after, uh, last year where it was like a rat a day for me. Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, if there weren't cats up there and like this was like being besieged. I had to like I started shopping at Whole Foods because they give you a paper bag like with your food.

I was like, I can just put the dead rat in the paper bag and put that in my compost. It's all natural, organic. Send it to my high school guidance counselor. I sent it back to Jared Leto. Guess who also is getting in the character. You son of a bitch. I'm getting into character to watch your movie. What if there's two

guys like that? Like, is that ever happened? Like, two method actors? Method weirdos on a set? On a film?

It's gotta have happened, right? It's gotta have. I, like, I've never. Hollywood is ass deep in method weirdos.

They gotta. Yeah. Isn't, like, Apocalypse Now was Marlon Brando. Right. His full method Brando. Right. His full method weirdo.

And Dustin Hoffman. And Martin Sheen was punching mirrors and stuff. Right. Having heart attacks all over the place. Did he have a heart attack on that? Yeah. Wow. Good for him.

Good for him. I know Dustin Hoffman was like that. And he totally improvised that. That wasn't in the script or anything. That was just. That's how Leslie Nielsen died. Script specifically said does not die. He's like, oh yeah, watch this.

Drop dead. Big fart noise and down he goes. There's only one movie where Leslie Nielsen dies. Dracula Doesn't Love Me. That's right. Did you ever hear him tell, I think it was him telling the story it's definitely him that the story's about leslie nielsen we had him on the podcast he told us this oh did is that right no where he was like doing live tv in the whatever the 50s you know and it was like uh some kind of

science fiction thing and anyway uh the he's supposed to he's supposed to in the script he's supposed to kill the guy like shoot the guy but i think what, he's supposed to, in the script, he's supposed to kill the guy, like shoot the guy. But I think what happened was he, when it comes to the point, he realized he doesn't have the gun. It's live TV. So he just runs over to strangling the, and the actor's like,

what the hell's going on? And he's trying to, he's getting close to say, I don't have my gun. I have to pretend you. Then you hear the gun sound effect. Oh God. And then the trying to, he's getting close to her and he's like, I don't have my gun. I have to pretend you're strangled. Then you hear the gun sound effect. Oh, God.

And then the, like, the detective comes up. This man's been, uh, oh, uh-oh. We've got that big, uh, the three-minute forensic scene. It's on your feet, Murray. Come on. It's live TV. We're just horsing around. When did, did Leslie Nielsen do any comedy before Airplane? No.

No. And then he did nothing. And that's what made him so great. Nothing but. He was like this, if you, if you take a bone serious actor and have him say ridiculous things, that's super funny. And then somewhere along the line, he was like, oh, I'm a comedian. Yeah. He started crossing his eyes and making fart sounds. People like well that wasn't the joke because robert stack is a like a

straight man in that in airplane as well yeah but he never went comedy uh no and like even later in the naked gun movies it would they'd have like robert goulet was one of the bad guys and he wasn't even an actor he was just uh he's just robert goulet that's enough for anybody um as you were a child watching the naked gun movies did you notice a decline in quality because i did not oh i yeah like the the third one, I remember thinking this was not very good. I remember thinking I'm not a child of this. I'm well into my adulthood. But I was a big fan of Naked Gun. Yeah.

Or Police Squad. And then so Naked Gun was based on that. I enjoyed that. But I definitely saw it was like, oh, this is getting wackier and zanier. By the third one, it was just like, it was just one wacky. But I was a dumb kid at the time. And I was like, this is great. It's still wacky.

Still good. Yeah. I mean, I like the, even the one that had Emilio Estevez. Oh yeah. Loaded weapon. Loaded weapon. Yeah. I like that genre of things, but it was just, to me, the thing that made Police Squad and Naked Gun funny went away as they started the second and the third.

For me, the thing that made that special and funny just went out the window. Which one has the crowds going to meet Weird Al? I think that's the first the first one where he's getting off the plane and he does a big dramatic speech because there's a crowd that's wait he thinks this crowd is waiting to hear from him yeah but they're they're actually here to meet weird al the biggest star at the time yeah uh do we want to move on to overheard yeah yeah i love it oh man every time uh well i hope that you're enjoying this podcast you're listening to as much as we are pretending to but anyway why not listen to another podcast too it's called the flop house and on our podcast uh we have recently watched a movie, often a bad movie, and we review it on our podcast,

but mainly talk about other stuff and, I don't know, hang out. It's all about hang out, feeling like you're being with your best friends. Who are your best friends? Us three. Dan McCoy, Emmy Award-winning writer for The Daily Show, Stuart Wellington, owner of the best bar in Brooklyn, Hinterlands, and Elliotiot calen former emmy winning head writer for the daily show with john stewart former head writer of mystery science theater 3000 the return uh so many things author of the upcoming children's book all right that's enough the elliot's credits just go on and on yeah but if you like the idea of listening to three funny guys talk about bad movies then why not come over and listen to The Flophouse? It's available at MaximumFun.org

or wherever fine podcasts are found. So get out of here. Which pop culture icon is ripe for a comeback? What movies should I go see this weekend? What should I binge watch next? I like to Hulu and chill. Am I a monster? Yeah, what's a great French film about lady cannibals?

For answers to these questions and so much more, come on over to Pop Rocket, a pop culture roundtable show with me, Guy Branum, Winter Mitchell, Margaret Wappler, and Karen Thompson. Catch us every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you decide to get your podcast i'm not

gonna judge overheard overheard uh maybe you're out there and you hear somebody saying something wacky and then you uh report them here to us and we'll do what we will with it. And, uh, we always like to start with the guest. Brent, would you, could you lead the way? Yes. And, and, um, this goes back a little ways because I've been, I've been hunkered away, you know, writing. I haven't been socializing.

I haven't been out where people are talking very much lately. So this goes back a little bit. This is the only overheard I could recall. My last trip to LA, I was down there and I was sitting in a coffee shop waiting to meet a friend, Cliff Nesteroff actually. I was waiting to meet Cliff Nesteroff.

We were going to have a coffee. And these two guys walked by me in mid-conversation, they strolled by with a bit of a head of steam. So they didn't laugh because I would love to have heard more. But the guy said, I'm trying to get the phrasing right. The guy said, uh, one guy said to the other guy,

uh, are they still doing half their shit in French? And it made me think they must be talking about Canada. What else would they be talking about? Right? That's it. That's all I got. Are they still doing it?

Are they still doing half their shit in French? That's what's on the coat of arms. It's in Latin though, weirdly. We're still doing half our shit in French. Yeah. It's in our charter. Must do at least 50% of your shit in French. But he seemed like he had a real kind of,

why the hell would they, like he, it wasn't just a curious question. There was a bit of anger behind it. Why are they pulling that crap? It's weird that there's still new products, but you still have, like even, I'm used to seeing, you know, you know, Snap, Crackle, and Pop

being called Crick, Crack, Croc. Yeah, Crick, Crack, Croc. called creek crack crock. Yeah. It's French. Apparently I always thought it was strange in the, uh, grade seven French textbook. They had, they would,

they would use these cartoon characters to teach your French. And the one guy falling in the water, it was plash with no S plash. I was like, that's French for splash. It's an automatic. It's gotta be,

they gotta have their own onomatopoeia. Splash. It's weird when you do see, when there's like new products, like the French have to come up with a word for like spicy ranch now. What would you have if you had to? Oh. Spicy ranch. Boy, it would be like, I don't even think There's a word for ranch I think it would be like

Western Like it would be A piece a Du west Perfect Dave do you have an overheard? He can't believe It's not butter

Mine is From dog walking Jesus you're really on this i look we okay you got a dog you got a dog 13 years ago he's in steady decline uh he's in slow decline bring everybody down before you're over he's doing great he is um he so i was walking him and I ran into a person Who had a dog And we stopped to let the dogs smell each other And

Grandpa's very slow moving but he was like circling The other dog So I dropped my leash And This happened to me a few times When I've said this I dropped my leash and when they're done Interacting I go to pick up the leash and i say come here bud and the person said oh mine's mine's

named bud too and i've had it before like oh come over here buddy oh he's buddy too that's where you look directly into the fictional camera that isn't there when you give a straight look down the pipe to the people at home. It's like if, it's like if your parents named you pal. Yeah. Come here pal. Oh, hey, my brother's named pal. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

I'm named sport. Yeah. Hey, I'm champ. I thought you were talking to me. I have a retirement home for senior actors named pal. I don't get that. There's a, that's the performing arts lodge the where

retired actors go it's like a senior's home for people in the in show business oh i only know pal as the video format that doesn't oh shoot we got this we brought this tape back from france yeah ntsc still doing half their shit in France? More than. Yeah, in France. 98% I bet you. I'm not a wagering man, but. What's your overheard?

I was, I was performing in Kamloops this weekend. The loops. The loops. You were, were you there with John Doerr?

Yeah, we were on different shows. Oh. He had a big, uh, like same, uh, event, but different show. Oh, okay. I didn't know. Oh, yes, I understand. Yeah. It was like a festival.

Yeah, it was like a, like a festival. A carnival. Mm. Uh, and, uh, this is, I don't know why, like, sometimes you get heckled, but it's by somebody who thinks they've got something like, they're like, I know the thing you're talking about, but they don't. Uh, so I was like, has anybody here, has anybody here not seen the movie Terminator is what I said. And, uh, you know, nobody applauded. And then this one lady said, three boobs. I was like, nope.

That's so weird. That's total recall, you think? It's funny that her recall is off. That's funny to me. It's funny to me that that's the thing that she's pulled, that stuck with her from the movie. Yeah. I mean, in fairness, that's the thing that she's pulled that stuck with her from the movie. Yeah. I mean, in fairness, that's the thing that I remember from that movie. I think a head blowing up. Hmm.

The. Get ready for a surprise. Oh, no. You're thinking of scanners. Oh, his head blowing up. I was thinking of the head that it's the old lady head that comes out of his head and then says, get ready for a surprise. There's too much head blowing up in that. Can there be?

That's why I only remember the three boobs. Yeah. This is a pretty memorable movie now that I'm cycling through it. The original working name of the Three Stooges is the Three Boobs. I mean, it makes sense. Were you asking for the audience to yell something? No, but if people had yelled out something from like, I haven't seen Terminator. Yeah, or if they've been like, I love Terminator

or something from Terminator. Yeah. I always like that moment. I mean, when I say that, I use the word like loosely. I don't really like it that much, but I'm, that moment when somebody feels in the middle of your stand-up act that they just, they're going to shout out what they want you

to talk about. Oh, sure. Talk about pumpkins or something. It'll be some, you know. You're like, why the hell would I listen? I would be like, with pleasure. I'm not taking requests. This isn't improv.

I'm a country music. So weird. For the record, I haven't seen Terminator. Really? That's one of those movies that I feel people are, you know, when people find out you haven't seen a movie, they go, what? I feel that's one of the ones that's justified.

Yeah. Really? What the hell? I saw Terminator 2. Yeah, I guess that's the one. I thought you said you hadn't seen it. I saw it as well. Oh, that's where we're doing a whole.

The three boobs of it. The three boobs Oh man I know we're one episode away From getting to 500 But can we end this podcast now permanently And start a new one called the three boobs Honk What are their three names honk

Ooga Awoo Drupsey Honk awoo and drupsey names honk booga awooga awooga droopsy droops honk awooga and droopsy oh boy I don't work

as bouncers now in addition to the overheards that we have here you out there can send them into us via email

send it in to spy at maximumfund.org this first one comes from the overheards that we have here, you out there can send them into us via email. Send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from Cody S. in Chicago. This is a bunch of girls, seven and eight years old, jumping on a trampoline in an adjoining backyard, and one shouting, I'm flying bitch nancy has taken to calling me bitch around the house it cracks me up every time it always

catches me off guard yeah and but yeah she's got into this big thing she'll she'll be like you know what are we going to have for dinner bitch makes me laugh every time i the one time i got laughs calling someone bitch was in uh we were doing this like web design class and someone needed help and i was like oh let me help you and i showed them oh you just you have to put this code in here dumb bitch going from being super nice to super mean it is and it's uh when you're not expecting it especially from somebody who that wouldn't use the term then erwin barker was did a great one of these this exact thing we're talking about where it just you weren't expecting it and it just came out we were you know back at the old urban well uh where, where I would stand to, you know, emcee the

show, kind of that cramped space. You had to walk between the bar and the stage to get to the men's room. Yeah. So me and a couple other comics, Jamie and whoever, maybe yourself even, I don't even know, were standing around talking and Erwin came by, kind of squeaking by us.

He said, uh, for those of you who don't know, Erwin Barker, very kind of strangely proper fellow, older than us, always had a suit on. And he said on his way to the men's room, pardon me, fellas, I got to go haul out the hog. And we just like, all of us doubled, like we've just been kicked in the stomach. He was so great at that. But I don't know which side that means. I don't know what he ended up doing in the bathroom.

Yeah, because he was also 100% bathroom. I, uh, yeah. Cause he was also a hundred percent clean. Yeah. His act was very clean. Yeah. But every now and then he would do that. It would be great at poker. Cause he was one of my regular poker crew.

Yeah. At poker night, he would pull out one or two of those throughout the night where it was just like something horribly inappropriate. You wouldn't expect to hear him say, and it would just floor you. I remember he, one of the gags that he did was at your old apartment. He had a,

like a note on the, behind the toilet saying, hold down the flusher. Oh yeah. Uh, and I remember him coming out and he didn't have to repeat. He just goes, uh,

Hey, uh, Graham, which cat's name is flusher? Um, uh, it's sort of like, uh,

you know, in movies where they just make an old, a nice old lady swear. Oh yeah. And it's usually, or, or a little kid, a little kid saying a,

a really like elaborate swear word. Yeah. Pretty great. It's better to have the old person rapping. That's sure. That's the route to go. Well, like that's the queen taught us. See, and now, yeah, because they only care about money,

it's less movies with old ladies rapping in it than ever before. This next one comes from Mary L. Just now eating lunch next to a table with two women in their 30s, one was describing her new fitness tracker wristband to her friend, Just now, eating lunch next to a table with two women in their 30s, one was describing her new fitness tracker wristband to her friend, then looked around, dropped her voice to a stage whisperer and said, I think it gave me credit for working out on Friday night because my heart rate went up, but I was actually just high.

Whispering so the machine doesn't hear. Take it back. i heard that yeah i i'm doing amphetamines trick the machine into thinking doing amphetamines bitch i found one of those uh i guess it was a fit bit yeah uh someone had left it in their in the dressing room at the pool. Oh. And so I picked it up. I took it to the Lawson family because I, I didn't like, can they track me? Oh yeah. Cause I, I have a criminal mind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I want to get a fit on someone else's dime. Yeah. And if you put it, if you put it on and then you committed a crime and then left it back in the thing, it would be able to track when your adrenaline was at. Count how many steps away you've walked. Yeah. Boom. There you are.

But they would have arrested the other person. Yeah, absolutely. It's the perfect crime. Nancy bought me a Fitbit as a gift once and it's never been out of the box. I was like, you feel bad. Yeah.

Somebody's bought you a gift. But at the same time, you're like, you, do we know each other? Like, would you, do I seem like a guy who's concerned with my steps throughout the day uh i've never i've never even tried one on i don't either uh i don't they look like rubbery

to me they they are yeah yeah so you got an eye you got an eye for texture and material no they're actually fool's rubber a lot of people think they're rubber but isn't is there uh is there one that like because people wear them all the time not just when they're working uh-huh so is there one that looks just like a regular well the old watch the apple watch oh and it does it have oh it's got it oh nice nice oh we are living in a grand time to be able to know how many steps i've taken in today have you ever had somebody get snippy with you if you say i watch and they go it's an apple watch that's a weird thing to me to get snippy i did i almost said i watched didn't i and i

corrected myself i've heard people get snippy about it it's a weird thing to get no no one uh who listens to the show has ever corrected me about anything. Who's got the time? This last one comes from Conrad F. in Toronto. Whoa. He was at the Oakville Pier and there was a lighthouse that had some graffiti on it and my favorite

part about the graffiti is this first part. It says, what's up everybody? So it's addressing everyone. And then then it says i think dogs should vote my favorite was uh attention please gather around i'm i'm graffiti on the lighthouse of all things um so there you go overhe. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, it's very easy. And in the year 2525, we will all be calling us. And the number is easy to remember.

And here it is. 1-844-779-7631 or 1-UCH-SPYPOD1 like these people have. Hi, Dave Graham and guest. This is Doug from Fort Worth, Texas. I was in the tire shop earlier today and two really normal-looking older guys were talking and then the hurricanes and the earthquakes come up

and one guy says, well, what I heard from a guy last week was that some of those storms, most of those storms, were man-made by some kind of machine. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Hey, thanks, guys. Have a good one. What I heard was some of the storms. Correction, most of the storms. The odd one slips through. That's a natural occurrence. Are they still doing half their storms in French? I mean, they are man-made in the sense that global warming has made them worse.

I like that that's how the, so the guy heard that they're, you know, man-made. And so he thinks there's like an evil storm machine cranking out hurricanes. Yeah. I mean, but the UN just won't pay the ransom. Gotta shut this guy down. He's evil. That is the type of conversation you would be having in a superhero, super villain world. Yeah.

Well, I hear he's got a big laser trained on us, but nothing we can do about it. He's on Skull Island. That's what I heard. I don't know. I don't know. Next phone call. Hey, that's what I heard. I don't know. I don't know. Next phone call. Hey, Dave Graham, possible guest. This is Jeremy calling from Montreal with an overheard.

So we were out at our local market the other day, and we saw a dad pushing a kid in a stroller, and he said with great exasperation, yes, it was the most beautiful baby pumpkin I've ever seen. Was it, Dad? Have you ever seen a more beautiful baby pumpkin? Tired of this kid's shit. If it'll shut you up.

Fine. And he's thinking in his head, it's like the 20th best one I've ever seen. When I was driving up to kamloops you drove i drove yeah and uh you rent uh no friends friends vehicle ah yeah and uh car uh no boat but there was a place that i passed by that was a corn maze and a pumpkin patch and i was like oh boy they got the whole do they do hey rides dude yeah probably autumn's coming up they're just jacked cider in the back yeah poker in the front i guess uh here's your final overheard boys hey dave and graham impossible guests this is katie calling from new westminster with an overheard on the SkyTrain on Friday night.

Two nights ago, I was coming home from a concert and went past a woman who was saying to her boyfriend, no, no, no, check the verbiage on the ticket. There's a difference between drinking in public and intoxicated in public, and I would know. She buttons it. Yeah. And i would know she buttons it yeah and i would know check the verbiage i'm a raging grammarist first check your privilege yeah i've got i'm i'm never drunk in public but i'm always i've always got an open bottle of wine never Never been drunk in my life. I've never not been drinking. I'd just like to have an open container. Yeah.

Because it lightens the mood. It's a weird badge of honor that she seems to be like kind of. Trust me. People are, this kind of falls into an overrated category because people are, I've always thought some people are strange, strangely proud or proud of strange things. And I overheard a guy talking about how many times he'd been punched, like really kind of proudly. Well, double digits.

Did he say the number? I don't think he said that, but it was kind of like, listen, I've been punched a lot. All right. I know it's like, I'm an authority on. How many times have you been punched? Me? Maybe a half a dozen. You?

I'd say over. I'd say in the dozen or more category. And have you punched back the same amount? In the face? You're not talking like a friendly slug in the shoulder. No, no, no. In the face or in the gut. Oh.

Maybe once in the balls. No, no, no. In the face or in the gut. Oh. Maybe once in the balls. Make that twice. I've never been punched as an adult. Oh yeah, it sucks. I've never really been punched. I've never been punched as a child. I've only been punched as an adult. But I think even like fighting with, you know,

people your own age when you're in high school, I don't think the punches were thrown. It was like pulling each other down. Oh, my brothers and I. That's not where I grew up. There was a lot of face punching in the high school fights. Yeah. That seemed to be the crux of the matter, really.

Yeah, I think. Like you just, I never, I think even maybe just like on a sports field, I maybe just got into something with someone else, but. Sure. I never fought in school. I've had my nose broken twice from punches. Oh, wow. Yeah.

I always catch one square in the honker. Bonk. Square. But twice, you got to do it an even amount of times because it won't, it'll fix it. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I, that's the second one was requested.

I remember there was one schoolyard fight. Uh, I may have talked about it on the podcast before where one of the participants, it was like November. And one of the guys took off his shirt and we were like, oh, he's going to win. This guy's going to win. And boy, did he. Well, I was, I remember I was in a fight with a guy. And again, it was like, it was, you know, in the autumn. But anyway, it was at a party and we were

going to fight. And I took my jacket off. I had a giant, I took my jacket off. He wasn't wearing a jacket. And so to be as dramatic, he peeled his shirt off. Now I was fighting a big shirtless dude. Were you, were you in the kids in the hall sketch about the fight?

Yeah. Stay down. Yeah. I was in that. You were on the, I got hall sketch about the fight? Yeah. Stay down. Yeah. I was in that. I got a long head of hair on me. You were on the tough guy's side. Yeah. I was one of the tough guy's buddies.

Yeah. Yeah. Trying to look tough beside a guy who's seven foot two or seven foot three, that guy that they hired. Oh yeah. He was the tallest man in Canada and I'm five foot nine. But Bruce McCullough cast it and in his mind, I was a giant guy. Cause he's quite short. Yeah. Yeah.

He was like in his mind, five, nine, seven, two people of that ilk, you know, yeah. Towering over people.

Uh, well that, uh, uh, brings us to the end of this year. Uh, podcast. Uh,

uh, thank you so much for being our guest. It was my pleasure. Do you have things in the works, things you want to plug? I know you have your own podcast. I do. People can listen to my podcast,

which Dave has already been a guest on. Yeah. The Butt Pod, which you can find at thebuttpod.com. And I'm going to have Graham on, probably as my very next guest. Cool. Um, cause I was starting to do it once a week,

but we're in production on Corner Gas Animated. So I've been slack on, you know, I'm not as diligent with getting them out, but. Yeah. But mainly I want to plug, I'm doing YouTube videos now on a regular basis. That's where I want people to go. Like definitely listen to the podcast, thebikepod.com.

I started a YouTube channel to kind of be the video companion to the audio podcast. Yeah. But it's also become a place where I'm throwing up. You're throwing up? Yeah, don't. That's true.

I'm uploading. I get uploading and throwing up mixed up a lot. I'm going to upload. That was in the net. That's when they didn't check the verbiage on that. But anyway, if you go to

youtube.com slash thebuttpod, that's the video channel. And I'm putting up just other kind of fun videos that I'm shooting and vlogging a bit, you know,

when I'm, when I'm doing behind the scenes stuff and corner gas animated and different things with the podcast. So go subscribe videos that I'm shooting and vlogging a bit, you know, when I'm, when I'm doing behind the scenes stuff on Corner Gas Animated and, and different things with the podcast. So go subscribe to YouTube, the butt pod. The butt pod. When does Corner Gas Animated start?

All we know is early 2018. It's going to be January or March. We've been told. Not February. Not February. Because that's when the Olympics are on. So they're kind of strategizing, should we start before the Olympics and then get hammered in the ratings?

All right. Or should we wait and do it after? What channel? It's up to them. CTV? It'll be on the Comedy Network, which CTV owns. Is CTV the Olympics still? Yes.

Okay. Oh, man. Who do you like for? For luge? Yeah. Who do you like for luge? What country Germany

I think Germany's got a strong I gotta go Norway this time I'm gonna go Way outside Japan Oh Which luge Men's or women's

Either or Oh I was going men's Is there a double up Can you Cause there's singles luge And doubles luge isn't there Yes I think the Olympics would Like The the Winter Olympics specifically, would be fun with gambling. Because who knows?

Yeah. But probably Norway. I think, well, people gamble on the Winter Olympics. But no one knows any of the sports. Oh, yeah. Like no one follows bobsled. It's still fun to throw down Just go You know Just pick a country

Look at Look at some photos See who Looks the hungriest You know Who's got the shiniest suit The most wind resistant suit Yeah yeah yeah

These are You know You could Make up all sorts of Judging textures You can tell If a watch Is made of rubber or not

This dude's Wearing a rubber suit He's gonna to be very... Made a lot of drag on that. And if you listeners out there, if you like the podcast, you should... You know where you should head?

You should head over. We've got a Facebook group dedicated to this. Also on Reddit every week, there's a thread about this week's show, Maximum Fun. Yeah, it's the Maximum Fun Reddit subreddit.

Yeah. Yeah. And Dave has been putting up blog posts to accompany the podcast all these many, many years. Of the things we talk about on the show this is the last or second last one of them second last the show will continue yeah yeah yeah uh

but what did we talk about a harlequin yeah uh the band harlequin uh one dime is all it cost me anna i found out for sure, you know. Old Dutch. And old Dutch or Humpty Dumpty or whatever. Potato. Tomato. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tater Waiters. Tater Waiters.

And what, oh, maybe that Kids in the Hall sketch. Oh, yeah. So funny. Leslie Nielsen. You can see pictures of me and Leslie Nielsen doing a sketch on, on the internet, I think doing that sketch. Oh,

cool. That's, uh, that's, well, we'll play us out. Harlequin. Thanks for listening,

everybody. See you next week. We'll be back next time on Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.