Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 50 - Ivan Decker

Episode Date: February 16, 2009

Comedian Ivan Decker returns to help us celebrate the big 5-0 with some science, personal ads, and Pizza Hut pasta.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Alright everybody, and welcome to episode number 50, the big 5-0 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Oh, I can't believe I'm just... We're over the hill. I know, I promised myself I wouldn't get all choked up.

My name's Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is the man who puts the Dave in Dave Coulier, Dave Shumka. That's not all I put in Dave Coulier. Oh, yes. And joining us here for episode number 50, repeat guest, comedian extraordinaire, Mr. Ivan Decker. Thanks for coming back. Thank you for having me. It's very exciting to be here for episode 50.

Number 50, can you believe it? It's shocking and awesome. I'm shocked and awed. Shocked and awed. We're like the Golden Girls. be here for uh number 50 can you believe it it's shocking and awesome i'm shocking we're like uh the golden girls um those were two of their names right yeah shock and awe and shocker car rated and um let's get to know us. Ivan. When were you here? When was Ivan last here?

Episode 9? Yeah, it was 8 or 9, I believe. So it's been... 41 episodes ago. That's a lifetime ago, episode-wise. Yeah. When would that have been? That would have been almost like May or June of last year. Yeah.

Wow. It was summer, I remember. Hot town. Yeah, it was hot. Yep. There was a murderer on the loose. John Leguizamo was wearing a tight red t-shirt. Oh, wait a minute.

That was Son of Sam. Summer of Sam. Oh, right. Sure. Yeah, there's been a lot of growth, I believe, since then in not only the podcast. But also your life. Yeah, tell us all about it. Tell us what's going on right now with the Ivan Decker.

Before you do, can I say the one thing? The greatest thing about Facebook is sometimes people put up pictures that I really, like I automatically connect with what's in the picture, and your solo pictures of being alone in hotel rooms, being bored on the road, get me instantly. Yes. Have you ever seen them? No. You might as well take them, what, with just a camera on a timer? Is that how it worked?

Yeah, just the camera on my laptop. The photo booth, you have 30 seconds. Okay. But the pictures are so, they're so exactly what it looks or it looks what it feels like to be in those hotel rooms. Yeah. On the road, by yourself, bored, hours and hours before the show. Yep.

Yeah. Nothing to do, you know, write your material again. Rewrite your material? Just write out all the words again. Like, yep, that's how I had it memorized. There it is again in print. So what's going on with you now? What's kind of the new thing?

Most recently, I just finished a book. Reading. Reading. Reading a book. Reading. Reading. Reading a book. Yeah. Yeah, sorry, that sounded pretentious. I just finished my first book. First one I've ever read.

It's still kind of pretentious that you read a book. Yeah, you're right. A book about, it was a book about interviews with stand-up comics. It was all, it was by Larry Wild. It's called Great Comedians Talk About Comedy. But it's a very dated book. It's really old.

Was Billy Crystal in it? No. Oh, well. I'm not interested. I don't think so. But it was all, like, really old comics, like Shelley Berman

and, like, Milton Berle. Hey, you know, I wrote to Shelley Berman via email, and he wrote back. Really? He was very very very cool about it yeah that's fantastic burman is uh larry david's dad on the curb your enthusiasm that's his

most recent gig yeah yeah and he's uh he's an absolute gentleman like i wrote to him and i said i'm a fan because i have all of his records at home and uh i misspelled his name in the email and he was like for a big fan you know i don't believe you a little bit of a red flag coming up there right away so yeah uh and uh did you learn anything from the book yeah i thought it was very cool to see how like even comment like these were guys that were they were talking about their experiences in, like, the 30s. And they talked about all about, like, the cat skills and the. I think they were called the Dirty 30s. Yeah.

They were, like, touring in the Borscht Belt, which I don't know where that is. I assume they like Russian soup. Sure. But, yeah, it was, like, to learn. Near the Gazpacho Garters, right? But it was, like, all these. Anybody garters, right? But it was like... Anybody? These things that they used to book comics for, which is interesting.

Like, I never knew what a tumbler was. Do you guys know what a tumbler... It's like a blog page that's just really short stuff. Oh, that's Twitter. Back... Tumbler. Tumbler. Tumbler.

It's T-U-M-L-E-R, I believe. And their job, they would hire them at parties oh they they keep the guys the dicks erect yeah pretty much in a way they would like walk around there they were a comic that was hired just to kind of be the life of the party like they didn't have a microphone but they would just walk up to couples and they would be like go up to a girl and be like hey this guy's pretty awesome and he's got a big dick and then walk away. And like, that was all they had to just get guys laid somehow. But that's the modern

day equivalent of that. I don't know, maybe there are still tumblers working the rooms. I don't know, I've never been booked for any tumbling gigs. I mean, you can dream. But on cruise ships, comics are they're hired to do like, but they only do like a 20 minute show a night.

And then during the day they have to go up on the deck and like hang out with the passengers and joke around and. Yeah, that's, that's fun. Yeah, so you're like a party time guy in the day. Yeah. Have some Mai Tais in the pool. Yeah. You know, play a little shovel, you know, walk by, you know, some old broad that's playing shovel board and say, say like, yeah, like a mom that's there with her daughter and say like,

oh, hey, look at the something sisters. Right. And then they're all like, oh, you. Yeah. Yeah. And you do that all day. And the mom's happy, the daughter's sad. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, that was a compliment that only worked one way. Look at you and your deformed sister. Does your sister have that aging disease? Good Lord. So you read a book, which is great. That's it. That's all I've done in seven or eight months. One book.

But also, kind of the neat thing that you do in the off hours of comedy is you work at Science World. Yeah. And you go on these tours where you show, like, you put an egg. Do you do the thing where you put an egg on the top of a milk bottle and it goes in the milk bottle? Yep. With the burning paper fire yeah we do it with a water balloon um if you do with the egg you gotta hard boil the egg first yeah but there's a lot of there's a lot of 12 minute egg a lot of prep well you know you don't have

access to a stove right and you you're at such a great elevation that it takes longer yeah yeah oh true in the mountains science um but we do do a lot of cool stuff. Like, we bring... I said doo-doo. Huh? Hey? Doo-doo. We doo-doo a lot of cool stuff.

We walk around to cool things and then rub shit on them. You're like a modern tumbler. Yeah, pretty much. No, we... I'm Decker, modern day tumbler. Walk around to cool things and rub shit on them? It's doo-doo things. That's how around to cool things and rub shit it's doo-doo things is it just you or are you with a band of it's us that is it's myself and one other person um be it uh lady or a man um but we that's a person, alright. No trained monkeys.

Unfortunately. Which would be awesome. We just have stuff like Giant Slingshot that we shoot rubber chicken out of. It's more joking around than... Did you ever grow up with a show called Mr. Wizard? Yeah.

Do you know about Mr. Wizard? I do. He wore a sweater. He was kind of like pre-Beekman. Yeah. Pre-Bill Nye. Bill Nye was my favorite. Yeah. So he was pre-Bill Nye. I liked Bill Nye too. We used to have an argument, me and my friends, about who was better, Beekman or Bill Nye.

Yeah. Nobody ever had that argument about Mr. Wizard. No, because he was by himself. The only competition he had were Bill Cosby's picture pages. was he a bit of a crotchety old guy uh he was a little bit like why are these kids going to this old man's house the famous thing i think that happened on mr wizard was they took a kid well he took a kid out to the where there was a swing set and hanging from the swing set was a brick on a rope. And he swung the brick, and that, you know, kind of the law of...

Yeah. I don't know, it's not the law of diminishing returns. I know that's not the name of it. It's just conservation of momentum, or... Penduluming. Yeah, yeah. So, but it's, you know, in... It's not supposed to...

If it swings to a certain point, it won't swing back to that point. It loses momentum. So they put the kid at the point where the brick initially swung. Is that why swing lost momentum? Okay. But anyways, it hit this kid in the face. That's the longest short of it. And they kept it?

Yeah. That's the tape we're using? Yeah. That is so ridiculous. Well, the kid wasn't going to stand there again for another take. Well, because they do that. He was trying to show that it would come really close to his face and not hit him. Yeah, they do that demonstration at science.

We're on the center stage shows. Like, every day, we do it with a bowling ball and a string. And you hold it up to the kid's face and you let go. Maybe he, like, pushed it. Yeah, I think there was another variable. Or the kid stepped forward. There had to have been, because there's no way it could pick up speed. We're not talking destroying the kid's face or anything,

but definitely it clipped the kid's face. You got clipped. Sometimes you gotta get clipped. That is hilarious. I don't know why a brick on a string just sounds so low on a slow budget like it just went it sounds like a terrible like uh a brutal murder they could have come up with some kind of apparatus for this like i got a rope and i found a brick in the alley we're gonna tie them together for this tv show we're doing then we're gonna beat him to death it's really it was like kind of the i mean i i'm imagining i'm gonna go out on a limb and say Mr. Wizard is no longer with us because he was an older man

even then. What year was this? He predated Bill Nye the Science Guy. I think his name was Nils Bohr. Nils Bohr. Hilarious science reference.

But what about who was on before Mr. Wizard? Who was the It's a hilarious science reference. But what about... Science was bold. Who was on before Mr. Wizard? Who was the predecessor of Mr. Wizard? Dr. Spock. Dr. Spock. The child's... Oh, I thought you meant from the USS Enterprise.

No, it's Mr. Yeah, that's right. Anything else? Do you know who was before Mr. Wizard? No, that's what I was trying to i was trying to figure out children know about science because there must have been it seems like it would have been a show theme that would have been fairly because those experiments are they're golden i'm there's still people on doing it now on there must have been a radio version or maybe not i don't know stand in front of those bricks see mr amazing my face don't worry it didn't hit him in the face he's just saying that uh uh dave okay with you buddy i think you know what went on with me this week. Yeah, this is huge.

This is huge. It's big? Oh, it was actually in the... I had to look it up online. I got saw. Nice. Yeah. I done been sawed.

The I saw you column in our local free rag, the Georgia Strait, Mr. Dave Shumka was seen, and here is the message. Now, it's funny, because last time Ivan was here we talked about the Craigslist missed connections. That's right. We did. At length. With our good friend Cuckoo. Oh yeah. That is what we talked about.

The father of soul. Do you want to read this? Yes, absolutely. Okay, there it is. Now, it was funny then because none of us were involved. Now it's not so funny. Now it's not... Okay, so this is...

And it should be... It's worth noting that I only found out about this... I found this out last night from young Mr. Brett Nicolick. Yes, a legalized comedian. I'm finding out about this for the first time, so I'm very excited. Did you know before he sent this to you? No. So, a big thank you to Brett Nicolick for...

Yeah, this was in last week's Georgia Straight on the very last page. All right, here we go. Trout Lake Dog Park. I was with my sister walking her dog Rex, lowercase, at Trout Lake on Saturday. I was in the brown jacket and tweed cap. You were tall, blue jacket with striped hoodie, glasses, runners, good style.

You and your dog, Grandpa, I think, were there with your friend slash girlfriend? I kind of got the scent that she wasn't. If that's the case, then I would like to see you and Grandpa again. When? Saturday, January 31st, 2009. Where? Trout Lake. You, man. Me, woman. You, Tarzan. see you and grandpa again when saturday january 31st 2009 where trout lake you man me woman wait wait that's not how jane talks that's how she taught tarzan to speak no no you tarzan me jane No, no. You, Tarzan. Me, Jane. So, yeah, that is awkward.

That's not a fun thing to happen. Because, of course, the girl that you were with was Miss Abby Campbell. My beautiful girlfriend. Beautiful girl, who's also her own person. Now, this is the mystery of it. When Brent Nicolick last night told me about it, I assumed that she knew that your dog's name was Grandpa because she may have listened to the podcast and then seen you at the park and

played dumb on the girlfriend issue. Right. But you were maybe calling out to him? Yeah, or there's kind of on weekends there's a lot of people at the dog park and there's a... Do you remember this girl? No, and actually when lot of people at the dog park. Do you remember this girl? No. And actually, when you say... Or the fact that she said that she was wearing a tweed hat made me think that it was you.

Playing like a prank around. You're right. I did. Man, now that I read it, it sounds like I... Because you wear a hat. I do. I'm wearing one right now. I'm wearing a tweed hat.

And I would wear a brown jacket, too. I think that's good. Have you ever been seen in a thing? No. I would take it as a... That's big ups. Big ups to Dave. But I do have to question what she refers to.

Read the part about Abby again. No, no. What I question is the fact that she said I had good style. Because I wear the grubbiest, muddiest clothes to the dog park. Because they're just going to get dirty. No, but you got... Okay, you were definitely... And I'm not tall.

I'm probably average. We're roughly the same height. You're a little taller than me. Blue jacket. I know what jacket that was. So you know that she's short. The blue jacket, I will say, is one of the grubbiest things I own. I keep a...

Were you wearing, like, glasses? Glasses? Yeah. Do you need glasses? I wear them... Yeah. I have a secret identity. Oh, you'll never guess.

But, yeah, I wear glasses until the nightfall. With striped hoodie. I've seen the striped hoodie. Yep. That's all about runners. You've got about a thousand pairs of shoes. You're the Imelda Marcos of this podcast. These are they.

These are the dog park runners. So the thing is, what you were dressed as was a bit of a scuzzball. Yeah, a little bit. You're dressed as a greasy hipster. No, not even. My pants weren't tight enough. Except in the crotch area, am I right? I can't find a crotch that's roomy enough.

And Dave Coulier can attest. Cut it out, guys. The model of jacket I was wearing is called the panhandler really yeah is it like the elbows are torn out of it uh no it just looks like uh something a scuzzy person might wear i think is it like like one of those really thin uh just like a rain jacket yeah plastic no no no no no sorry it's uh like a down jacket, but it's kind of thin. It's actually called the panhandler? Yeah.

Oh, because of panhandling gold. Not like the panhandler. No, no. Because I think it looks like something a homeless person would wear. Why would they sell a jacket called the panhandler? Because it's next level shit. Oh, is it? Is it really?

It's derelict. It's derelict. It's derelict. It is. So you were in the, I saw you call them, the Lust Lounge, however. Oh, man. I was it really? It's derelict. It's derelict. It's derelict, it is. So you were in the I Saw You column, the Lust Lounge, however. I was not in the Lust Lounge. I don't even... I'm shooting for the Lust Lounge.

There's no I Saw Yous in the Lust Lounge. The weather is making me hot. Mm-hmm. All right. Can I see this for a second? Please, sure. Take your time. Yeah, because it wrote,

I kind of got the sense that she wasn't your girlfriend what is going on there it's a weird thing to write yeah that's kind of causing a bit of friction at home gotta step off the public displays of affection

not enough smooch face where does she get off saying that though we're 8 years in there's not a lot of dog park make-outs. Well, maybe it's time to start that shit back up. One has to be mandatory. One per time you go. Okay, one dry hump.

Just if there's girls around. Yeah. I am blur. But now I'm a little worried. Can I go back to the dog park, or am I going to be on the lookout for two cats? You go there, and you smooch it up like it's 2012. Yeah, that's the smooching year. But actually that...

The year of the smooch, according to the Chinese calendar. If you see a Tweed Hat at the dog park, even if it's a guy wearing it, you just start making out like nobody's business. The day of that... Because Abby Campbell's a whole lot of woman. She's also our own person.

The day of that spotting, the lake was frozen. Listeners not from Vancouver, Trout Lake is a park with a lake in it in the middle of the city. There's no trout in it either. No. Is it shaped like a trout? I've never seen it from space. It smells like trout in the spring. Is it shaped like a trout? I've never seen it from space. It smells like trout in the spring.

But it was frozen over, and there were these stupid Australians there. Are there any other kind? Sorry, listeners in Australia. They walked out onto the frozen part and had their picture taken where it said, Frozen, do not attempt to walk on. And their distress signal sounded like this. Which is about uh it was only about three feet out so they weren't in any danger and then one of them kicks his rugby ball out into the middle of the lake and starts walking out to it and uh this voice comes out from a megaphone get off the lake you're risking risking your life. And then he tried to sneak up.

Also, is that your girlfriend or just a friend? I'm kind of getting the sense that it isn't. Dynamite. You in the panhandler jacket. Wow. It's nice to be noticed. Yeah, it's not

terribly nice. It's pretty good. In the general kind of sense. Because you think about how many people there are in Vancouver. I know. But I'm in the top. I'd say I'm probably in the top 1% good looking. Well, yeah.

That goes without saying. No doubt about that. Graham, what's going on with you? Let me sock this to you. Sock it. This is going to blow your mind 10 ways from Sunday. What happened at Christmastime, right? I was at home.

I was trying to figure out what to buy for my parents for Christmas. Snuggie. Ended up ordering a Snuggie for my mom, right? Snuggie is a blanket with sleeves, right? Yep. So I bought a Snuggie For my mom Two days ago Package comes in the mail I gotta go pick it up at the post office

I don't know what it is I get it home I still don't know what it is What's your local post office? City Square Mall I open it up Even after I've opened it up I don't understand what it is But there's a little box inside I open it up It I still, even after I've opened it up, I don't understand what it is. But there's a little box inside.

I open it up. It's a little book light. And I was like, book light? Why would somebody send me a book light? And then it clicked. You got a free book light with the Snuggie. That's what it said in the commercial. And there's not one Snuggie.

There's two Snuggies. Oh, so your mom hasn't got the Snuggie yet? No, they sent them to my house. Oh. But they also sent an extra snuggy. Nice. So, I'm not afraid to tell you that last night... You cut a hole in the crotch.

I'm a... I'm a owner of a snuggy. You're a new snuggy man. Wow. So, I got a snuggy. What's it like? It's the greatest. What if you lie on your stomach? It doesn't matter. It's... It's because once you lie on your stomach? It doesn't matter It's because once you lie on your stomach The sleeves are

Okay, but your back's exposed It's not a toga Oh no, you wrap it around yourself So you wear it like a robe Or do you put it on backwards like a big shirt I was going to bring it But I didn't What, just for photo ops?

No, just to, because I knew this would happen What, it would get awkward? I didn't. What, just for photo ops? No, just to, because I knew this would happen. What, it would get awkward? I don't understand. Okay. What it is, is like, picture a regular blanket. When you wrap it around yourself, right? You usually wrap around from the back. Snuggy, you wrap around from the front.

And then you kind of let the excess kind of drape on the back. You know what I mean? So the way I did it is I threw over an extra level around my neck as kind of the fastening area. Right. And now I'm mobile. Now I can move around. So how long before we start seeing Snuggies at the post office? In this city?

Yeah. Six months. Yeah, they're the new Cro office. In this city? Yeah. Six months. Yeah, they're the new Crocs. They're the new Ugg boots. Snuggies, Crocs, and that's all you need to get here. Um, okay. I just thought that was, is that not as fantastic as I thought it was? Yeah.

That's pretty awesome. It's pretty up there, right? Speaking of stuff in the mail, someone was going to send us a bunch of ginger ale, and we haven't got it yet. Yeah, that shit is bogus. Yeah. I could go for ginger ale. Here's another thing, and it didn't exactly just happen to me, but it's happened to society in general.

Paul Blart Mall Cop came out. PBMC. Right. Okay, we all needed it. We all needed a movie about a mall cop. But now Seth Rogen is coming out with a movie about a mall cop. Another mall cop movie. Now, how would you feel that if you wrote a movie, say you wrote a movie and it took you at least a year to get it together and you're trying to make it edgy and stuff.

And then all of a sudden the same movie comes out, only it's Paul Blart Mall Cop. And you're like, ah, fuck, that was the movie I wrote. Because you can be assured that I'm sure Seth Rogengan's is probably better oh yeah i'm sure but it's who's gonna care right how many mall cop movies can you handle who's in paul blart moke mall cop the non kevin james the king of queens do you not have a television no i don't oh really i don't watch tv i'm sorry oh wow what do you do with your time? Can we, let's get into that for a second. What do you do with your time?

But you're not, you're not, like, a snob about it. Like, you seem like the kind of... And you don't seem media illiterate. Yeah, you've had a TV. I do, I have had a TV. I just don't, like, if a show is good that I want to watch, I'll get it on DVD. I watch a lot of movies. Mm-hmm.

And I spend a lot of time on the internet. What about Paul Blart Mall Cop? How do you feel about that i i don't know like so there's a seth rogan version uh that's that was previously written no that's i i assume it was written maybe at the same time who knows but it's coming out later paul blart's already out okay it's kevin james looks pretty great. We can both agree. Paul Blart? Yeah.

He's on a Segway. Some crazy people are taking over the mall. That's your hook. That's the plot. Zombies? No, crazy people. A fat black guy says some crazy people are taking over the mall. That's in the commercial.

Okay. You always have to have... If there's anyone who's better at breaking down the synopsis of what's happening, it is an overweight black man or woman. Like, so I'm crazy? That's why Anthony Anderson gets so much work. They have to come running in and reveal what's happening. A lot of times when I watch trailers, they just send in somebody like that just to yell out...

That's the whole trailer. Just a fat blackfic in a room. This movie is about this. I don't know why that became half Bill Cosby. That's interesting. So what do you do? So you go home. You get home from work. Yeah.

What do you do? What do you watch? Yeah, what do you watch? Do you have a box that you have a knob that you turn on? How does that work? You just don't have cable is what you're saying no i do have cable that's the problem but i never use it you have a cable but no television i pay for cable but i i have a tv the weirdest thing i have a tv but the only thing i do with it is i watch movies or i play video games but you also have a cable are you on x? Yeah. Oh, it's your name on there.

Captain 1000. Okay, I'm crazy for Swayze. We should be friends. We're doing it. I saw you online. Xbox Live needs an I saw you. What does your avatar wear? I believe a white. I tried to make him look as much like a 70s police

officer as... like Miami Vice style. So he's got a white leisure suit. That's 80s. But maybe a life on Mars. White leisure suit, Burt Reynolds mustache, and aviator glasses. Okay. I know him. But just to make him extra badass, he has a scar across

one of his eyes. Ooh, like the evil twin. Like he got it from like a like uh yeah bottle opener or something all right um anyway so i thought i'd bring that to the table i'm fascinated that you have a television with cable yet you don't watch i don't i watch tv at night but the tv's on all day because i have a dog and it yeah but see you're babysits you and i think because now that i work at a tv yeah station there's always tv on there's a tv in our office it's on all day i think the the main reason why i dislike tv so much is because i hate commercials so i i pretty much now i live a commercial free life like the only what do you what do you walk to work with a blindfold on?

Yeah, no, I see the ads and the billboards and stuff, but, like, listen to the radio I always hated because of commercials, and TV, I couldn't stand commercials. The radio is the worst for commercials. Especially in the morning. We'll be right back after this break. Kellogg's Delicious.

That was good. Thank you. What do you feel about granola bars? Not good enough, fucker. Get these ones. I thought you were supposed to be a clean comic. What happened to that? I swear.

With a marketing degree. All right. Well, do we want to move on? Maybe. Yeah, let's do this. Hit our 50 episodes. Of overheard? Overheard.

No, I didn't say that right. 50th episode's worth of Overheard. Is that right? Did I say that right? Oh, is it falling apart at episode 50? How could you go wrong is why I made a face. Who could ask for anything

more? Overheard. Do you have an Overheard Do you have an Overheard? I do, I have a couple This is going to be great You can bookend it Unfortunately they're all Skytrain related That's not unfortunate

But it is our tradition One of them I was walking down Commercial Drive It is our custom here in this country To let the guest Do the first overheard. So I'll start with the most ridiculous one. Okay. Are we rolling right now? Yeah, we never stopped.

Okay. Yeah. So this overheard, I was, like I said, during the... Remember the time... Well, you guys... I don't know if you talked about it when it snowed and everybody had to take the SkyTrain because you couldn't drive on the roads because it was... Yeah, right, right.

You know, it turned into the day after tomorrow in Vancouver when a few inches of snow fell. 28 days later. Yeah. Yeah. Zombies, snow, you know. So I was at the SkyTrain station... Oh, um, uh... I am legend.

All right. I am legend. Alright. So I'm at the Skytrain station and this guy has been, I guess, removed from one of the trains because he didn't have a ticket or whatever. I just kind of walked into the situation

and he was already in an altercation with a Skytrain officer. And he was angry and what I heard him yell at the woman was, this is ridiculous. I hope Bin Laden gets you He was angry, and what I heard him yell at the woman was, This is ridiculous. I hope Bin Laden gets you people.

Whoa. We actually know where Bin Laden is. He's on an ice skating team. Bin Laden. The guy with the jersey. Oh, right, right, right, right. From two episodes ago. Yeah, Jesus. Now, this was a female officer?

Female officer. What a world. What a world. But I don't, like, that's the weirdest empty threat, because that's not a concern at this point anymore, for anybody. But the fact that that's your... I hope Bud Laudan personally seeks you out. Yeah, Vancouver Sky Train Workers is next on his list, obviously.

Those people are unreasonable. And he's going to come out and... There's no dealing with them. No. There's no negotiating with them. I'm talking about the Skytrain people. Yeah. Dave, do you got one?

This past weekend, I went to go see a movie in three dimensions called... I saw that. ...Coraline. Very cool. Was it good?

It was very good. I heard it. Coraline. Was it good? It was very good. I heard it was soulless. It was. Before we went in. That's me with my smug face. That's what I heard on the Today Show. Maybe they saw it in two dimensions. Before I went in, we were given surveys.

And I, like... Did the survey say... Survey said... Potato salad! It was potato salad. Something you might eat at a picnic. Survey said potato salad! Little known fact.

Family Feud conducts their surveys at movies. Yep. Matinees. No, but it was... The questions were all... This isn't my overheard but the questions what what is this uh my overheard happened earlier anyway uh the questions were all um like uh where did you hear about the movie what did you think of the movie

and i filled out all the questions before even watching it and i was right yeah i guessed that the movie would be very good and that i would maybe recommend it to people and that i would not buy the dvd now did you go see it do you have to go to a special theater to go see it or was it just a plain theater and they gave you glasses yeah so just a plain theater they give you glasses which is why i don't understand why they can't release 3d movies on DVD. I can't believe that we've gone so full circle in the history of movies. Of 3D? Yeah, well, no, in the 50s, that was the thing that they thought would save movies because television had just really dominated,

and they thought, well, we need to give movies an edge. So they made 3D movies. Those eventually flopped. Then fast forward 40, 50 years, and they're like, wait a minute. 3D will save movies. Well, let's admit that the technology has advanced a little bit. Yeah, I think with CGI you can do it. There were previews before the movie.

There were some previews. They were just regular previews. And then there were some previews that they said, put your 3D glasses on and watch this 3D preview. And they were all CGI, like animated movies. I'm not saying that it's not. Like, I enjoy the 3D films, but I'm surprised that there was a 50-year lull where all of a sudden they were like,

what about that thing that we used to do that people loved? We need 4D. I think it's a phase. I don't think it's here to stay again. James Cameron says it's what's going to save movies. Oh, well, he's made a movie recently. Didn't he discover Noah's Ark? Yes. He went under

and discovered Noah's Ark, and then Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet died on it. Revolutionary road. Sex in a car in the belly of the boat. Okay, so I was waiting in line to buy tickets to my movie, and there were these people behind me, and there was a girl about my age, and she, I'm guessing they were her parents, because they were older, but this overheard is a lot funnier because her father, quote unquote, had a thick German accent.

Maybe Dutch. So she said, oh, they were looking at a poster for The Wrestler and they were talking about Mickey Rourke. And she said, why does everybody hate him? And the dad said in his German accent, they don't't hate him it's just he used to be a big tough guy and now he's a big loser have you ever seen a one-legged dog german guy and she actually responded with, he loves his dogs, though. No, she didn't. Yeah, she did. Really? Yeah. Written down.

All right. Here's an overheard written to us from a listener named Matt M. And he's in Saskatoon. And I read this overheard out loud at work, and it was much appreciated. The cute factor is through the roof. On the weekend, I teach at a science club for kids. We have a group of boys in the morning, and the girls come in the afternoon. So maybe Ivan can relate.

I can definitely relate to this. Yeah, totally. This is a hometown crowd kind of situation. There is one kid in the boys' group who really looks and sounds like a girl. And to cap it off, his name is Ashley. The boys are too young to tease him intentionally but they often just assume he's a girl and refer to him as a her or that girl last week it happened again boy one that girl is hugging the glue ashley i'm not a girl, I'm a boy. Boy one, are you sure you're a boy?

Boy two chimes in, yeah, he has to be. Only boys come in the morning, girls club is in the afternoon. Boy three, in a matter of fact sort of tone, yeah, he's right. Girls are too lazy to get up early, like my mom and my sister. Boy number one, whoa, that's a bit racist, don't you think? Oh, out of the mouths of children yeah they do say the darndest things um trouble at home for boy three yeah seriously um here's my overheard from last night that involves me as an active participant in fact the overheard was something that I said, hoping to get a laugh, to break some tension in a lineup at a Max convenience store. Okay.

I was standing in line and there was a guy and he was taking too long and the cashier was on the phone. And there was a guy in front. He was kind of in front of me one person ahead of me he was wearing a hoodie with the Batman logo on it and the hoodie when he had it up had little bat ears and the guy was taking so long

and everybody was kind of in a rush and the Batman guy looked back and did the kind of like can you believe it kind of face and I said to him why so serious and it dropped like a lead balloon he looked at me like I had just like just started speaking Arabic and the person behind me didn't get it and I was like serious because everyone seems to be in a hurry. You can't wear a Batman shirt and not

be up on Batman references. I thought that was fantastic. That's unbelievable, Graham. I salute you to the utmost for that. Trying to make a joke. Trying to cut the tension. Perfect. We got some call-in. I was going to use the hoodie tie-in. We've got a call-in

overheard. If you want to call in with an overheard, our number is 206- 339-8328. That's 339-in. We've got a call-in overheard. If you want to call in with an overheard, our number is 206-339-8328. That's 339-TEAT. Hey, you guys. This is Dan from Ottawa. Calling with an overheard, I guess. I was sitting in the front of my house and my dad was sitting on the stoop with the dogs and one of the dogs started barking really loud.

And kind of over the barking, my dad kind of shouted to me, I don't think he likes people wearing hoods. Maybe it's because they look like bears. All right. Thank you very much. Bye. Thank you very much.

Yeah, no, I mean, sure. Right? Well, dogs are... Dogs don't know from hoods. They're feral. Yeah. But, Ivan, you've got... You've saved up your best overheard for last.

I don't know. You're putting a lot of pressure on me now. No, but you said that the other one... You were bragging before. Okay. Yeah, you were a little braggadocious. The first one was... This was something...

It's more of an overseen, I will admit, and it's also Skytrain-related. I was on the Skytrain, and I was looking, and across from me there was a girl who was rather good-looking, and she had glasses on. You bang her? Well, she bangs, she bangs. She bangs, she bangs, but wait till the end of the story.

So I'm looking at her, and she's quite attractive, and, you know, I'm attracted to intelligence. So, she has glasses, she's reading a book. It's upside down, and it's Coraline, but it's fine. Yeah, she's walking a dog named Grandpa, she's wearing glasses. Tweed hat, brown jacket, you know the drill, Dave. Okay, I'm sorry. We're interrupting. But she's reading a book, and I was like, oh, this is nice.

You know, this girl's pretty. And then I look at the book she is reading, and it's Dog the Bounty Hunter's biography. And I could not believe it. Because, like, picture the opposite of the person you would think reading Dog the Bounty Hunter's biography. That was her. Do you know what the opposite of the person that I think is? Dog the Bounty Hunter. Because I don't think he can read.

Is he in jail in Mexico? Am I wrong? No, he's out. He's back on the air, buddy. He's out of the closet. Because I was worried about him for a little while. What now? I wanted to kind of briefly broach the topic of the band of blokes.

Okay, let's play the theme. Is he a bloke? Or will he just choke? I don't know Okay, before we talk band of blokes We've got a couple We've got a call from Abby's Aunt Sheila A couple weeks ago

I added Swedish actor Peter Stromare Am I pronouncing that right? Aunt Sheila will tell us. Hi, this is Abby's Aunt Sheila calling to David and Graham. First time caller, long time listener. We love your podcast. It keeps getting better and better. I'm calling about the League of Blokes. And David's Uncle Magnus wanted me to call and say how much he was truly touched by your inclusion of Swede character actor peter

stormer and your jolly pronunciation of his name as well with a big hit over here um and then he went on to suggest momar kaddafi i don't think he really gets the rules of the of the gang uh good luck great work keep it up love it bye thank you man, our first call from Abby's Aunt Sheila. I know. She's been with us since the very beginning of this podcast. I believe she had... I think she was mentioned on the one that we did in number eight.

Yeah, yeah. She's been with us solid. Solid listener. Thanks for calling in. Great lady. How did you pronounce it? Pietra Scali. Pet for calling in. Great lady. How did you pronounce it? Pietra Scali. Pietra Stormer. Petra Snowball.

Petra Stormer. But a couple of weeks ago, for a long time, I don't know if you've been listening, we've been working on something called the League of Extraordinary Blokes. It's a league that encompasses the best of the blokiness. You're Jason Statham. You're Vinnie Jones. You're Bruce Willis. We're talking about knuckle draggers with a bit of panache.

They got panache. They got sass. They don't take no shit from nobody. Definitely, Jason Statham is a good benchmark. He's the prototype. We've gone every which way from nobody. Definitely, Jason Statham is a good benchmark. He's the prototype. We've gone every which way with it. All right. One of the great, and for a while we were kind of stalled on finding a Canadian member,

and we eventually came up with quite a few, actually. So your Kiefer Sutherland, your Stompin' Tom Connors, your, what is his name? Iron? Michael Ironside. Michael Ironside. Your Donald Sutherland, your Stompin' Tom Connors, your, what is his name, Iron? Michael Ironside. Michael Ironside. Your Donald Sutherland. And also, somebody suggested, and I can't remember who, but somebody sent an email suggesting the Bizarro version of Dave Shumka, who's a fighting, punching, killing machine. Debaucherous.

From the Sam Easton episode, there's a guy named dave shumka and west van who is the opposite of me but he's the bizarre east van he lives in west van i understand he sounds like a bloke extraordinaire no yeah but i don't want to talk about him okay um but dave introduced the notion uh of what if there was a band of blokes? What are the most blokey musicians that would form a band in the tradition of the Stathams, etc.? So a perfect example of somebody from a band of blokes would be... Who would be a really... Lemmy from Motorhead.

Lemmy from Motorhead would be... What about meatloaf no too soft you can't have any affiliation with poetry so no yeah feelings no feelings no no no yeah like let me like you know do you know let me from motorhead no okay uh are we thinking more sid vicious from sex pistols vicious absolutely yeah like somebody someone who just has no Are we thinking more Sid Vicious from Sex Pistols? Sid Vicious, absolutely. Someone who just has no musical talent. He has to be living. He has to be alive.

Right, to form this band. Kurt Cobain. Wait. Too soon! Some suggestions that we've received from listeners have been... Brendan suggested Neil Young. If poetry is out, then. Yeah, maybe a little too young. Neil Young's out.

Okay. Neil suggested Jay Retard. I'm not that familiar with Jay Retard, but I don't appreciate that tone of voice. Billy Bragg. Billy Bragg, yeah. A little folksy. Okay.

Henry Rollins, we've heard before. Yeah, and we said no because he's released many, many books of poetry. Tom Waits, we've rejected for his poeticness. Lars from Rancid. Yeah, I put my thumb up to Lars. So he might be a guitar player or a singer. Lars was the lead singer. They switched off, I think. But who's the other?

Tim Armstrong. Tim Armstrong also was somebody that I had as a heavy nominee. Okay, Oliver and Matt both suggested Josh Ohm of the Queens of the Stone Age. Lead singer? Lead singer.

Yeah, he's pretty badass, and he doesn't take no shit. I've seen him in interviews, and he does not like... He's not interested in the muckery. You know what I mean? Like Russell Crowe? Russell Crowe was one of the people

who suggested... He plays the guitar. Yeah, he fronts 30-odd foot of grunt, the ordinary fear of God. Can you believe it? Can't believe it. Believe it. But his ponytail disqualifies him.

You're right. But that was only in Master and Commander. No, no. I think he's a day-to-day ponytail guy. Yeah, you're probably right. Ian suggested Shane McGowan of the Pogues. I agree with that. I don't know.

I'm not that familiar but he seems like the right kind of guy probably in his 40s he had not a tooth left in his head they're all black and he had uh yeah he's he's as blokey as like i mean if certainly he follows the parameters of the blokiness kyle suggested robertard of Guided by Voices. I don't want to have to explain who the lead singer is. He's the lead singer. Do we have any... Do we have anybody that was nominated as a keyboardist?

No, we don't really. Let's see. Zach suggested as lead singers Debbie Harry of Blondie? No. Why not? Cindy Lauper. Why not Debbie Harry? Blondie? No. Why not? Cindy Lauper. Why not Debbie Harry? She's a pretty lady.

Pretty ladies can't be a bloke, can they? Oh, Pink could be. She's already in the league. She's going to start a fight. He also suggested Bjork. I don't like Bjork for this. No, too soft. Dressed as a swan. He also suggested Bjork I don't like Bjork For this

No, too soft Dressed as a swan But for the multi-instrumentalist Or like extra-instrumentalist Spoonman Spoonman? Spoonman of Vancouver, Spoonman? Of Seattle, Spoonman

Oh, of Of the song Spoonman? Okay Sure I don't know him So we're doing a singer, a. I don't know him for a man. So we're doing a singer, a guitarist, a bassist, a drummer, and an extra instrument. Would Courtney Love be a bloke?

Sort of. She would certainly hang out at the league. She had a glam phase. No, but she would hang out there routinely. Robin suggested for the extra instrument Ashley MacIsaac. I don't disagree with that. He is a Canadian violinist. Fiddle.

Fiddle player. Fiddler. Fiddler. And, by all reports, diddler. That's not bad. That's pretty good. All reports. That was pretty good.

Okay. For singers, here's just some suggestions i came up with uh the guy from monster magnet uh the lead singer yeah yeah okay what about rob helford first of all he's super blokey bald which fits in the thing uh i don't remember what was their big song bang your head was it bang your head was he iron maiden or judas priest judas priest i can't tell the difference I don't remember. What was their big song? Bang Your Head? Was it Bang Your Head? Was he Iron Maiden or Judas Priest? Judas Priest. I can't tell the difference. I think he's pretty blokey.

I even suggest that his homosexuality elevates his blokeyness to another level. Yep. What do you think? I agree. All right. Okay. What about these? Kid Rock?

Down with him. I don't want him anywhere near the league. The league would use Kid Rock as toothpicks. But they don't use toothpicks. No, because he's filthy. George Thorogood? Yeah, he's... Yeah, George Thorogood, for sure. The Destroyers have been holding him back.

Nice. Yes. What about Loverboy? No. No. Any of the members of the band on your t-shirt zz top yeah in fact very bulky i would say that well the two with the beards the drummer whose last name is beard beard james beard oh he's just for hanging out with james lipton oh that's right he's got drums and blue cards um and my main suggestion for lead singer billy idol yeah yeah yeah he's

pretty blokey but then what about a guy like like uh like a joey shithead from doa i don't want to have to explain who the lead singer is he's from doa that's nobody knows who that is that's not true i put it forward that people listen't know. Who's your guitarist? Okay, our guitarist? Lenny Kravitz. Keith Richards. Oh, of course! Keith Richards!

He's as blokey as they get. And that's why my mom sent that in. She said, if Keith Richards isn't in there, then this whole list is... He's the king of the blokes. Yeah. Another listener named Jerry also suggested Keith Richards. I have a couple others. I think Keith Richards, I would put him at the very, very because if you if you're talking about doesn't take shit

in interviews that's his that's your guy right what about a brian setzer he played with an orchestra day yeah but it was near an oboe okay what about uh tony iomi of uh a black sabbath black sabbath yeah the big story with him is that he uh days before he got his record contract he um or he had his record contract i'm butchering this story but he uh he worked in a mill and his mom was like oh you still need to go to your job even though you have this uh money gig. Oh, really? And he went to his job, got his fingers cut off in the mill, guitar player.

What did he do? He made these leather finger extensions. So what would Transporter do? He would do exactly that. Wow. Yeah, that's outstanding. Well, you can have more than one guitarist. And also, I would like to just

make a case that a couple episodes ago Miss Alicia Tobin was here, was trying to get guitarist Slash into the League of Extraordinary Blokes. I think now that it is open to the band of blokes, Slash certainly would fit the parameters.

What about David Bowie? Also, Noel Gallagher was somebody that I threw in. Yeah, not... This band's gonna be guitar heavy. Well, Iron Maiden is guitar heavy, and they're fantastic. Touche.

And their lead singer, he just runs around on stage and sings. So, did we come to a conclusion on this? I don't know. We nail it down? Keith Richards has. Okay, Lemmy's the bass player. Obviously.

Lemmy's the bass player. I want to throw in, I want to throw down a solid 100% backing behind Keith Richards on lead guitar. Yeah, I'm behind Keith Richards as well. Keith Richards doesn't play lead guitar. Maybe not lead, rhythm. He plays rhythm guitar. We're adding this position of rhythm guitar. Okay, so he's rhythm guitar. as well. Keith Richards doesn't play lead guitar. Maybe not lead. Rhythm. He plays rhythm guitar. We're adding this position of rhythm guitar.

Okay, so he's rhythm guitar. It's honorary. He can't play lead. Okay, who's our lead guitarist? Do we want to have people vote on this? Stevie Ray Vaughan resurrected. No, dead.

No, you can't do anybody dead. You're complicating things. I would say I would throw in my support for a Slash. Okay. Slash. What about one of the guys like Kirk Hammett from Metallica?

No, no, no. They went to therapy. He's from Hawaii. You're right. But yeah, absolutely vote on lead guitars. Okay, so we're accepting votes. Everyone we've mentioned is in the running for lead guitar. Even George Thorogood.

Even though I put him up as a singer, he can be lead guitar. We're still accepting drummers and other... Who did we get? We got... Somebody recommended Dave Grohl. What about Les Claypool from Primus? No, because he's competing with Lemmy. Yeah, he's out.

What about Singer? We had Fred... Samuel suggested Fred Hell of a band who got shot. He's not shot, though. I think was the story. He got shot. He's still alive, though?

He's still alive. Because I listened to a track and Fred Hell wouldn't be out of place in the band of blokes. If he's taking a bullet, that's pretty blokey. Yeah. Now, we're going to try now.

You can vote on those things. Absolutely. Keep them coming. So we're accepting votes on lead singer and lead guitar player, but bass player is Lemmy. Yeah.

And we're still... Rhythm guitar is Keith Richards. Rhythm guitar is Keith Richards. Yeah. And we're accepting still suggestions on drummer and extra instrument. And here's...

Extra instrument, yeah. Although I would like that to go to Ashley. I would like DJ Lethal of Limp Bizkit. Yeah, how about a rapper? You know, put someone in there. You could be a lead singer. Like a DJ, someone who scratches records.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. As the extra instrument. What was the guy? Kid Koala, he's not really blokey. No, he's not blokey at all. He's fantastic, but not blokey. What about DJ Tanner? We've got a couple requests via email.

There's been a notion, and I don't disagree with it. It's been a long time since we've done a time travel segment. We didn't even have it when you were first here. I heard it on the Simon King episode, I believe. But I missed that theme song. I'm going back in time. Yay! But I miss that theme song. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. I'm going back in time. Yay!

Ivan Decker. Since you were last here, we developed a... We had quite a streak, and then we kind of cooled on it a little bit. Well, because one person complained, and the squeaky wheel... Yeah, we took it to heart, but then somebody... Complained about what? Somebody asked to bring it back, so squeaky wheel again. Yeah, somebody complained about the blokes,

but you can tell we didn't care. Blokes wouldn't care. Yeah, exactly. What would Statham do? That's what my bracelet says. He would wear bicycle pedals for feet. Do you know they're doing a sequel? And walk through a slippery, oily

area. Is that from a thing? It's from the transporter. Yeah. Which one? They spill a bunch of oil on the ground and no one can fight because they're all

slipping around and he takes the pedals off of a bicycle and puts them on the bottom of his shoes so he can walk and he punches all of them. There are so many movies

that I'm like, oh, I want to see that but then I'm like, okay, I'll wait for it on DVD and yet I've seen two thirds, I'll wait for it on DVD. And yet I've seen two-thirds of the transporters in the theater. The weirdest part of the transporter

is they just... The story is there's these people that are stealing people and they're transporting them in trucks. There's this scene where the final scene of the movie is they break into this truck and they get it and they rescue the people. But there were two trucks before and then all of a sudden the second truck is just like, never mind about that one.

The movie's over. What was the one where he needs to keep his adrenaline up? That's Crank 1. It's Crank 2. Have you seen the poster for it? No. Have you seen the poster for it? The poster could be the best poster.

Because what happens at the end of Crank 1? Does he die? Yes. Well, yeah. Okay. But in Crank 2 on the poster, there's a picture of him with a jumper cable on his tongue. Jason Statham's back for another round. Oh, God bless Jason Statham. back for another round. Oh, God bless Jason Statham.

Time travel. Nice. A segment that we haven't done in a while, but here's the parameters. We played the theme song. Great theme song. That's the first parameter. That's the first parameter. Second parameter, you can go anywhere in time, round trip, back to the present.

So you can go wherever you want and come back. And you can go anywhere in sub-pace. In sub-pace. Can you bring something back with you? No. Why not? No, you can't. But you can take something with you to back in time. No, it's the Terminator style. You show up naked.

Well, no. What if you put something up your butt? Yeah, if you put something up your butt, you're alright. I'm not doing that. I don't care. Say you want to bring back a comb to fix your hair. Say you want to bring back a few kernels of corn. You want to bring back a tube of chapstick. Anywhere, space and time. But you can bring back information.

Well, yeah, I obviously get the knowledge that I have now. Your brain isn't white clear. And your butt is not. Where would i go is is the question i've what would you do what would you do you got one where i don't well the only i think the main the main period of time that attracts me would be like early i guess i would like 19 when i was five uh no i would want to go to like 1910 1915 atlantic city when that was like the place to be when we're talking like big ballrooms and like women wore hats with crazy feathers no kidding hey like just when gentlemen were gentlemen and you got to be classy and you could drink scotch on the rocks. I don't know, like, go to

ballrooms. You'd hang out for a while? Like, you'd just go there and make a life of it? Uh... Well, I don't know. I could be an entrepreneur. Maybe invent something. Or go invent... not necessarily invent something, just copy a thing that

exists in the future. Like the measuring cup. Yeah. I would go to a gentleman's club. I would go to a gentleman's club for a while, make sure they get to know me, be like, oh, this is Ivan, you know, blah, blah, blah. Then you introduce them to prostitution. Just before I left, I would say... It's the fifth oldest profession.

Just before I left, I would go, oh, by the way, in the future, there's a black president. See you later! And that would be it. Yeah. Oh, wow. I'm out.

And then you would come back to the present. Yeah, well, I'm attracted just to that era because it's just like, you know. Is it the hats? Is it the spats? It's the hats and the suits and the whole. Hats and spats. Yeah, hats and the suits and the whole... You're never going to worry about going to a bar and seeing

a guy in a UFC tap-out t-shirt. Oh, man. You could have gone back to the early 90s and had that same fear erased. UFC hadn't been invented yet. It would be replaced with some other type of t-shirt. An Ultimate Warrior t-shirt. It's like...

When you have to have a certain air of respectability... Some other type of t-shirt. An Ultimate Warrior t-shirt. It's like, you know, I want to... When you have to have a certain air of respectability... No, but here's the thing. I think the misnomer always is that it was a classier time somehow back in those days. But also, not if you weren't white. Well, yes. It was an incredibly unclassy time. Big chance of person polio

yeah yeah and also the smell but i'm not a child would be repellent the smell there was a smell back then yeah because okay i would put some cologne up my ass to bring with me a little chanel pooping some cologne um god damn okay just's, you know, you would experience like a vaudeville show. What's better? What's the better UFC clothing brand? Tap Out or Affliction? Is Affliction a UFC? I don't know. I don't care.

No, that's Ed Hardy's, the Sparkly's. I just, I just don't, I don't like the fact that putting on a t-shirt is considered dressed up. Like you could go to a... Well, what if you on a t-shirt is considered dressed up. Like, you could go to a... Well, what if you wear a button-up shirt and you untuck it? Well, that's, you know, that's at least one step higher than a t-shirt.

That button-up shirt is shiny and silver-based. Well, then... Still good? Then you're Will Smith in 1997. Here's the thing. Bienvenido a Miami. This is not a fantastic... It's not that it's a bad time to be a

well-dressed gentleman, because certainly in America with their new president, I think the era of dressing nicely is being ushered in. It's the second JFK era in terms of dressing like a man. Because George Bush, always his sleeves were too long and his suits were ill-fitting and he didn't look like a guy who should be wearing a suit. He didn't know how to wear a suit. Barack Obama, he just poured him into those suits. He looks fantastic. The problem with Vancouver

for anybody who's listening in the general audience is this city to a lot of people here casual they feel is a right, not a privilege. So there seems to be, you go out people are wearing flip flops in public. It sickens

me. It makes me want to vomit. It's one of my biggest problems. But sickens me it makes me want to vomit that i have to like it just it's one of my biggest problems with but you know what it is it's a lack of self-respect that's what it is you know these you're you're a gentleman get a proper attire no but they're not gentlemen if they're wearing an mma shirt yeah you're right i i severely question they have laser lines shaved into their hair. Laser lines? They're probably not a gentleman. Well, that's pretty cool, though. Yeah, yeah, I know.

It's true. It takes a lot of balls to ask your hairdresser for that. I thought they just did it. Probably waxed balls is my guess. Again, that takes a lot of balls. It does. Wax-ery. At least four.

Yeah, like, just that, to me, it would need to be around all of this, because, like, so much stuff was sort of invented in that time. I think you don't so much want to go back in time. I think you want to go to the prestige. You want to go to Italy.

That's where you want to go. No, they don't have Model T Fords and vaudeville clubs. No, that's true. want to go no they don't have model t fords and vaudeville clubs no but they have and tumblers they don't have tumblers but I think when you're talking about people dressing dressing exquisitely

and I also want to hear that that imitation gangster voice that everybody does I want to hear that first hand nobody ever talked like that. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. This would be a reason to go back in time to find out whether or not...

I would talk like that if I went back in time to see if anybody was like... They'd be like, hey, tell me where I can get the nearest pizza slice there, sonny. Pizza slice? See, that dude automatically would be shot. What are you, a spy from Italy?'d be shot what what are you uh spy from they'd say what are you an eye tie and shoot you that's what they'd say no there were eye ties in

atlantic city wow italians were a world power within like within the last 100 years yeah but they're a world power now in terms of looking great. Yeah, and Pizza Pie. Hey! Have you guys seen the Pizza Hut commercial where they serve... Don't get me started. They serve them the pasta. Don't get me started. I'm getting you. You're winding me up.

Bring it. Because... It's episode 50. No holds barred. You know that I've long... It's like MMA. No fish cooking. I've had an established bit in my act about Pizza Hut.

About the ridiculous... I don't listen to your act. No, well, you shouldn't. Because it would blind you with awesomeness. The thing is that Pizza Hut always tries to one-up itself in advertising.

They're not going to make anything better. They're just going to add more advertising But here's the thing In this commercial you're talking about They're in a famous Tuscany pasta American listeners This is nothing new to you

But it's just been introduced in Canada Pizza Hut's got pasta Pasta? Why? Because you asked for it. I didn't ask for anything. I asked for, you know. I like those cinnamon things that all the pizza places do. I don't.

Because once you're done with a pizza, you want something doughy. Yeah, because you haven't had enough dough. Well, you dip it in, like, you know, icing. Oh, yeah, because it takes the edge off. Yeah. Here's the thing. There's a bunch of people, they're sitting in a classy restaurant,

and the big gag is, at the end of the night, the head chef comes out and goes, Hey everybody, I guess who didn't cook no food tonight? And, and then, It's Fabio from Top Chef.

And then, all these Pizza Hut delivery men come in and the big gag is revealed. They've all been eating Pizza Hut. You fucking idiots! Why did you do that as a restaurant owner? They probably paid $35 a plate. And that's not a fun thing. They weren't like, oh, what a delightful dude.

No, I don't think they paid. I think they were like, yeah, you're coming to this thing free. Why else would the people be reacting so well? I think they were like, yeah, you're coming to this thing free. Why else would the people be reacting so well? Because it's television. So how many different flavors of pasta? Two. Two.

Chicken and chicken. Chicken and upside down chicken. Like pineapple upside down cake? Yeah. Chicken upside down pasta. Creamy chicken and tomatoey chicken. Yeah. So I don't... Chicken prima...

Maybe the tomato is ground beef. Chicken primavera and chicken prima donna. So I'm guessing it's the same kind of chicken they would put on a pizza, but they throw it in with... No, no. They just make the pasta and then they let a live chicken walk around on it. Well, the thing about spaghetti is you puke it up before you rap at 8 Mile. Yeah, and then you say, uh-oh.

It's got to be mom's spaghetti, though. Yeah, of course. It tastes just like a mama. It's on his sweater already. He's nervous. I can't even get on stage without listening to that song. Because that's what you want with stand-up. Yeah, fuck these people. That's what you want with stand-up. Yeah, fuck these people.

That's what you want to listen to. I like to go out angry. I wear a toucan hoodie. You know that. Every time I go on stage, toucan hoodie. Right, and you're boxing. You're shadow boxing backstage. That's how I have to...

And you're doing a weird sex scene with Brittany Murphy. Yeah. That was a little strange. She's there all the time at our stand-up gigs. What am I supposed to do? Yeah, she shows up at my factory job. I'm just looking for my brother. Which, you never meet her brother in that movie, BTW.

What's the W? What are you? By the way. T. Oh, okay. I'm sorry, I made an internet abbreviation. Yeah, unnecessary. Boytano Taco World.

Brick to me. Womer. All right. This is just descending into ridiculousness. I think this is going to be one of our best podcasts. Oh, it's magical. Of the 50s. Of the 50s. Here's the thing.

If you want to email us, and please do with your comments. We got a negative comment today. We didn't care for it. Oh, man. No, no, no. We don't want to do it. It was very rude. Don't send us anything rude. Keep that to yourself. This is free for you. Why are you in a position to complain?

Yeah, you're certainly not. Everyone's been very nice, except this one gentleman, and he's persona non grata. Yeah, we didn't appreciate it. And you know what? We do actually appreciate everybody who sends in their overheards or their bloke nominations or just their general observations about the show. I mean, there was somebody who sent in a thing we talked about last week about Samuel L. Jackson

and his haircut in Black Snake Moan, and somebody sent in an email stating that Samuel L. Jackson has it in his contract, that every movie he has a different hairstyle. Which, if you look at his catalog of movies, may be true. But I love all that kind of stuff. It's great. So if you

want to send in any emails, it's StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com And also, Dave spends a wonderful amount want to send in any emails, it's stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. And also, Dave spends a wonderful amount of time putting together, and I was going to say an inordinate amount of time. Let me tell you how wonderful this amount of time is. It's pretty grand. 90 minutes

sometimes. He puts together a wonderful blog at stoppodcastingyourself.blogspot.com. And as Dave mentioned before, we have a telephone number if you want to call us 206-339-8328 that's 206-339-8328 and uh do you have anything to plug do you got a website i do i have a since i've been here last i have uh built a website uh i've beenandecker.com? Ivandecker.com. Use our web? I did. So it's formatted well. Great. Everything's centered?

I dig it. It is. You can Google Ivandecker or you can simply go to www.ivandecker.com. There's a blog. But thank you so much for coming on. Number 50 here. Yeah. Congratulations to you guys for doing such a

fantastic job. And we're going to celebrate again in a couple weeks when we have our one year anniversary. Yeah, we've been having a gay old time. Past 100,000 downloads. 50 episodes. Anything seems to have a gay old time. Yeah, well, you guys are fantastic, and thank you

so much for having me. Oh, well, thank you, Ivan. I'm a big fan of the podcast and to be on it is always an absolute joy. If you enjoyed the podcast, please do tell your friends. That's how the podcast is able to grow and very soon we will have our own website. I swear to God. Thanks a lot

everybody for listening. Come back next week for another enthralling episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.