Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 507 - Charlie Demers

Episode Date: December 4, 2017

Comedian and author Charlie Demers returns to talk pretend weddings, trampolines, and the Barenaked Ladies.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 507 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who acknowledges that 507 is the Minnesota podcast number. area code and this is our podcast that we're going to dedicate to minnesota not minneapolis minnesota but just a rural and outer lying area minnesota mr dave shoka good smooth smooth intro thank you um and yeah no before the show we were like is 507 a famous number and i think we

determined that it was james bond's agent number and then like 5'10", that's like a popular height. A popular height. If you could be 5'07", which is what I think the height would be in the army. 5'07", sir! That would be a thing. Yes, absolutely. And do we have anything for 508 or 509? I'll work on it.

Formula 509? Is that something? a thing yes and do we have anything for 508 or 509 i'll work on it formula 509 no are you thinking of vif v05 hot oil i think i might be thinking of wd-40 oh wd-40 sure uh our guest today one of our all-time favorite guests uh a regular here on the podcast he has a brand new comedy album out called Fatherland. Mr. Charlie Demers. Hello, fellas. And here's what I think it would have sounded like if old Sean Connery, Agent 007 had been in 507 Minnesota for the filming of Fargo. And it might have gone a little something like,

what did you finish your duck painting? I am Margie. Oh, yeah, eh? Well, no, they don't say eh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 507. She's not James Bond.

Yeah. In this scenario, Sean Connery is playing the Francis McDormand role. And I do recall that in most scenes, she would say, I'm Margie after so that people would remember. You see something, Margie?

Oh, I just might barf or whatever. Yeah. Much difficult being pregnant. Oh, yeah. Should we get to know us? Sure. Yeah.

Get to know us. Charles. Charles. This is your first time on the show. First time, long time. First time in the second 500. Yeah, that's right. That's true, yeah.

Yeah, it's sort of like, let's renew our vows. Yeah, yeah. You want to re-up? Well, we've been talking about this, Cara and I, because we actually are coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary. Holy cow, really? In a couple of weeks, yeah. So December 9th, a day that will live in infamy, is our 10th anniversary. And Cara is who?

Yeah, yeah. Dave knows her only by her Chinese name, Ngayan. Right. Oh, okay, sure. Yeah, so when I say Kara, so from Anglophone audience. When I say Kara, you say. And so we talked,

so Kara was like, I mean, she was more than half joking, but she was saying we should renew our vows. And I was pretty sure that that was not a thing from real life. That that was just sitcoms so that a stale sitcom could do a wedding episode. Yeah. The whole, because no one really renews their vows. Real housewives seem to do it as well. Really?

Yeah. But that's basically, that's just a sitcom, isn't it? That's just a non-union sitcom. But yeah, I do know a friend of my family's that they renewed their vows and had like a big. But they were librarians. Yeah, yeah. So it was just a cat in the wheelhouse.

They really did. They renewed their vows. It always seems like it's because he cheated. Right. And like he needs a reminder. Right. Or it's like just the wedding's in trouble and we're pulling at straws. Oh, the marriage is in trouble.

Rasping the marriage is grasping the marriage yeah yeah yeah or one of the kids has become a wedding planner and is having a tough time and or uh it's a money laundering scheme sure um apologies to anyone out there who has renewed their vows but you shouldn't have cheated yeah Yeah. But I think they did it just because it was one of those signpost years, like 30, 40, something like that. And they were like, let's, we'll renew the vows. And they had just like a big party. The original vows were strong. That's why you made it to 40 years.

Yeah, but you know, they were in the 70s. So they were, you know, a lot of them are out of date now. Oh, yeah. Like, you know, we'll go to out of date now oh yeah like you know we'll go to Radio Shack every Sunday past its statute of limitations

well like so my dad had a full bone marrow stem cell transfusion from my aunt a couple years ago

for his lymphoma and he is now like he not just for fun no not just for vanity he said give me a top up his lymphoma. And he is now like, he doesn't have her fun. No, not just for vanity. Give me a top up.

Um, he, uh, like he has all, like he doesn't have any of his old allergies. Oh, and he's got like, and so now it's like,

literally it's like her system running through him. So I feel in that situation, get in there and renew. Cause that was the old. Yeah. Yeah. Good call. I'm married with your old allergies.

Yeah. When I, when I promised we'd never get a cat, but now the dander valve. Um, but, but, uh,

yeah. So, um, but anyway, this is like renewing our, uh, this is like renewing our vows. 507. I'm very proud of you, boys.

Oh, yeah, that's where this all started. Well, we're proud of you. But, I mean, I really do remember, like. Oh, you're really proud of us? Okay, yeah. We can match that. No, but I was thinking about, like, how a different life is, you know, without getting too, you know, indulgent or anything like that.

I mean, like, the first big chunk of these podcasts that I listened to was in 2000, the summer of 2008 when I was working as a groundskeeper. Oh, yeah. You know, and it's. Doing landscaping stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And then I realized I could just sell drugs.

I found some drugs on the ground. Should I use them? No, I'll sell them. Yeah. But, you know, life's very different from how it was back then. I can't believe that it's been 10 years that you've been a married fellow. That doesn't, that time-wise, that seems like yesterday to me. That's just because when I'm out with Graham, I don't really act like a married guy.

You can't see this, but I'm sticking my tongue out. You can hear it. Yeah. No, it's incredible. I have a four-year-old kid. Like, my daughter turns four in, like, six weeks. Yeah. What was the first six years of the marriage?

Like before the kid? Yeah. Do you remember that? Was that just a lot of hanging out? It was way more like, so a question that we used to say, like you never now go, you want to watch another episode?

Yeah. Like, I feel like so much of the, I'm amazed we got one yeah so much of the old relationship was deciding whether or not to watch more of the wire um and uh that doesn't happen anymore right uh no yeah i mean this is the thing that happens. I mean, you back me up on this. Your whole life you go like, what was I doing with any of my time? Like, what was any, why did I have any stress before I had to keep people alive?

How did I ever feel busy? Yeah. Um, like my brother had. And by the way, now that I have two, how do you feel any stress? No, I am. And because I have three illegitimate, I stress no I just want yeah and because I have three illegitimate I mean I got the law

on my ass but I mean so what do you guys have to worry about yeah no and that's true and I and I

it's something that I one child um is that is that because of the rules it's mostly because of Mao

yeah we every morning every morning you guys did Mao vows right Is that because of the rules? It's mostly because of Mao. Yeah. Every morning. You guys did Mao vows, right? You guys have written your own Mao's. Oh, no. I just realized you did wedding Mao's. You can only have one kid now. And it has to be Chinese.

And so we followed that to the letter half Chinese or full Chinese? I mean you round up round up was the friend in the Indiana Jones movie but he was full Chinese yeah he was full Chinese

oh no time for love you guys you know in sitcoms when they Oh, no time for love. You guys, you know, in sitcoms when they marry somebody, they say, well, you've written your own vows. Are there standard vows that they just plug and play? They had a, do you guys want to write your own vows? We have like different sets that are like, you know, love, honor, and obey. Love and honor. and honor yeah yeah no no more obey there's uh or there's a just obey yeah no love and honor and you have to use that to like under the giant sticker that says obey on it you just put the sticker on each other's ring finger yeah will you shepherd and ferry each other through this life um yeah no they give you options like you meet with your officiant

okay yeah because i always just thought i just assumed everybody always wrote their own vows but i guess some people would just be like yeah yeah standard three no everyone most people i think don't did you write your own hip-hop vows uh i don't think we wrote our own because it's like uh you know you you know them like through sickness and in hell yeah as long as you both shall live like that is the standard i think right one of them um yeah the Yeah. Yeah, I guess that is. I just assumed that. What is the thing where people just read like a note to each other during the wedding? That's writing their own vows.

That's part of vows. Okay. That's an elementary school. Those are child marriages. They're illegal in this country. Where you pass a note with your vows on it. Will you marry me yes or no yeah when you were uh elementary school age did any any kids in your class like do a fake

a wedding i do remember that uh there was uh so the place we lived we lived in my grandmother's place um until my mom died and then a year later we moved out and a, and about 10 months after that, we moved into the house that we would live in. And like, we rented it until I was, uh, like 21, like until I left home. And, uh, but for 10 months we were in this place that we were renting and there was this like, you know, shitty tough kid who was my friend by default you know scared of and you know this kid was just constantly lying to you and those weird lies of like where you're like i killed a mule deer well it's all just a power thing like he's basically daring

you to call him a liar but you're like 11 and you're like i mean well i know you're lying and you know that i know that you're like but he was this like you know mean tough give me an example so he claimed that his brother was so smart that he had um developed a thing where he could tell at the end of the day, if you had touched the knob to his door, like, so his brother, his brother knew if you had opened his door to his room, like it went into a computer or something like that.

And then you, as an 11 year old, you got to go like, Oh yeah. Yeah. Sounds pretty smart. And then, um, I guess we won't go in his room. Yeah. Is that what you're, yeah. Yeah. Sounds pretty smart. And then.

I guess we won't go in his room. Yeah. Is that what you're getting at? Yeah. So then there was this house where there were like these three girls, like three sisters. And that was the most. Yeah. And that was the most like exotic thing in the universe to me. And they were Michelle, DJ, and Stephanie.

Stephanie. How rude? Tanner. And you were their neighbor, Kimmy Gibbler. Kimmy Gibbler. And I said, got any cheese? And so at one point they did a marriage of the younger sister to like a little, maybe my brother. Right.

And. Don't even remember, eh? And I was. Your brother's own wedding. I was so drunk. It was an open bar. These sisters had it in spades. And we were, like, we were walking out of the yard. And I can't remember if the story was we were walking out of the yard and they, like, the tough kid caught us coming out of the yard

or if he had heard the ceremony over the fence. And then I saw him later, and he was like, they were doing a wedding. And then I was like, that's so stupid. But I had been there. I'm holding a garter. Where'd you get that? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's like you've caught the bouquet. Now let's go play in your brother's room. Let's go hang this garter on there. Why is there all this uncooked rice in my room, brother? Oh, boy. But does Margot ever say, oh, I'm getting married to you? No. No?

Okay, because Josephine does to me. She'll, like, we'll be dancing, And then she goes, we're getting married. And, uh, has she been to a wedding? Is she like obsessed with it? She's been, she's not obsessed with it. She's been to a couple of weddings, I think. Yeah. I mean, she's been to at least one.

I just can't keep track of my life. It's not my, uh, it's not my, it's not my child. No, she's definitely been to at least one wedding. She's been to more. Yeah, she's been probably

to some without you. She's probably, she's got her own circle of friends. that's what I'm starting to wonder. Yeah. No,

Margot doesn't want to marry me. She wants me to go away a lot. It's a lot of, like, don't talk to me. Like,

I just said good morning and I was bringing you some milk. She's got a mean streak at the moment. That happens, right? I guess. At a certain point, you've stopped. I mean, I stopped learning

what's normal. That's true, eh? You just check out of you're like yeah go to autopilot at this this will all be fine yeah it's like everything up till now has been a phase so i assume this is as well yeah the uh that seinfeld uh special uh that just came out he says when he was a kid like his earliest memory was just telling people to go away or leave him alone right that's all he wanted as a kid he was just like i just want to be left alone like uh and so i feel like that's something that all kids at some point are just like just i just

i never wanted to be alone as a kid no like and i'd be scared to go downstairs by myself even though we lived downstairs like so you should have been afraid of going upstairs. Yeah, exactly. But I would get my brother to come downstairs with me. And my aunt always found that really funny, that I was like six, and then I would want to bring this three-year-old down for protection. Well, you throw him as a sacrifice.

Yeah. To the furnace monster. Yeah, the furnace monster but yeah i just like i don't know there was a i think there was a long stretches where i was just like i just wanted to be in my room just let me be in my room by myself yeah i would just want to watch tv on uh like i was because i'm molested is what I did want, but I don't mean it that way. Yeah, yeah. But I also wanted that. I just, yeah, I just like, I'm the youngest of four kids.

Stop parenting, you know? Just knock it off. I'll be fine. We got these 13 channels. Just knock it off. I'll be down here. Maybe I'll watch one of our tapes. Yeah, sure.

Oh, you walk adventure. All right. I don't mind if I do. What was your movie that you wore out from watching it so many times on? I remember one summer from my teens where i think i watched clueless every night really i i feel like i watched it 20 times this one summer um you know one of those 20s 29 summers up in alaska where we were short of summer's own record yeah um uh batman 1960 1960s Batman was the tape that we would like.

The TV show or the movie? No, like the movie of the TV show that we would rent and rent and rent and rent. Yeah. Like it was just, we couldn't, like if those were the days where you bought movies for your kids, like we obviously would like, we just would have had that movie. Uh, but that was when you could rent videos at seven 11 and you could rent like a camcorder. Yeah.

Seven 11. Like I just feel like seven 11s old business model just gets winnowed down and down. You could rent a camcorder at. Everything from my life that was taped. Like, you know, there's footage from my brother's first birthday in, so it would have been September 1984, with a camcorder rented from 7-Eleven. Really? Huh. And then they rented three months later for Christmas that year.

And there's this amazing footage of my mom interviewing me on the stairs and I'm sitting with my dad and she's like, it's Christmas Eve. And she's like, and so what do you hope that Santa brings you tomorrow? And I go, oh, I don't know, a GI Joe maybe or a Mr. T truck or his gang. And my dad is sitting next to me and his face first like opens up of like, what's this kid saying? Then he starts laughing. And then my mom in the interview goes, so all these things that you've never mentioned before.

How do you think Santa would know? Yeah. But that's how you forget how mercurial kids are. It's like in the afternoon, this is what they want. And by like nighttime, they've completely forgotten about it. They're on to a totally different thing. I went to a birthday party, a kid's birthday party a week ago. Just by yourself?

Yeah. His daughter was at a wedding. Yeah. She's marrying some little boy. Or girl. Yeah, sure. Absolutely. And usually at birthday parties, they don't open presents.

But this was a party where they opened the presents. Ooh. And now Margo wants all of these things now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, because there's nothing more exciting than seeing someone unwrap a thing. Yeah, yeah. YouTube alone will tell us that with the unboxing videos and such. No, that's one of those things that is like you check back in every 20 years of like, oh, what's going on? That's my parenting style.

But like, so for instance, I went out and lived my life and then came back and found out that now people didn't say stuffed animals anymore they said stuffy yeah which to me sounds obscene i hate the word but you just and then you go well when did this change and people go huh i don't know because like they're in stain bear yeah all of that knowledge is sequestered by generation. So in like 2011, I was working on this show, and this guy showed us a photo of when his daughter was born, and it's him holding her in the hospital. And she came out of his wife's butt. Which in my generation, we did things a little differently.

Yeah, we used to call that a stuffing. That's where fudge was made. Yeah, we used to call that a stuffing. That's where fudge was made. So, he's shirtless holding the baby. And you're like, what, do you have the baby at the beach? Yeah. At least just wear a wet t-shirt.

It's a water birth. But, so, now everyone does skin to skin, right? And that's a big thing in hospitals. You go, they go skin to skin. But I was working on the show, side note, the producer was Devin Sawa's mom. Shut up! That's not a side note. That's a garbage fact. Who cares? And so me and Devin Sala's mom were on either side generationally of this knowledge.

Yeah, yeah. You know, because she was in her 40s, I guess. So she was like, why is the father even in the room? Yeah, exactly. She's like, where's your cigar? And then Seth Green's uncle walks in. And then Seth Green's uncle walks in. But so me and Devin Sauer's mom, simultaneously, we see this photo of him holding the baby shirtless.

And he thinks it's just a basic fact of every dad is shirtless. And we both see this photo and we're like, why don't, all we can concentrate on is why don't you have a shirt? So all these things get like sequestered in. And so you find out, you learn like, now kids don't open birthday presents at birthday parties. Yeah, that's new. That's great. That's so smart. And then Halloween comes along and you're like, how did this not get changed along the way?

Like, don't you find Halloween insane? Like, that no parents said at any point, like, okay, well, we're not doing this anymore. Well, it's, I don't know. I think it's still like a very parent heavy. Like, no one's letting their kids just like run around the neighborhood. But you go out and you get a giant bag of candy. Uh-huh. Like it's just, to me, it's nuts that in this, like.

Some of them are explicitly not nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no nuts. But that's what I mean. Like you've got a bunch of kids going around getting candy from people they don't know, you got a bunch of kids going around uh getting candy from people they don't know full of things they're allergic to and that the other 360 days a year they're they're not allowed to eat yeah and then you for five days they just gorge on this uh and and i don't know it's just such a weird it feels like oh it's it it's yeah no it's difficult's difficult being like the two weeks after being like, yeah, this wasn't, that wasn't an anomaly.

Yeah. You don't now just get candy all the time. Now you just watch Amelie. But when I was a kid, my poor anomalia or whatever the, what was the, what's his name thing? Anyway, write in if you know. My mom was telling me that when I was... There you go. The Charlie Kaufman.

Kids love Charlie Kaufman. Yeah, that's what Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is all about. My mom said when I was a kid that there was a very specific movement to try and stop halloween jehovah's witnesses it's called well no did there was just that it was like the the whole thing about going like they kind of tried to make it happen in like a mall yeah yeah yeah and that like this idea of like going out on the streets in the dark it was dangerous and stupid and and so there was there was like a time when it was like oh this may be a thing of the past. Oh, well, retroactively sign me up for that movement.

But now it's just become so standardized. Everyone has the same candies. There's no question, like, oh, no one's giving you some homemade fudge or anything. There's nothing to worry about. All the costumes are identical. Although sometimes you get a wagon wheel, and you're like, what the hell? Yeah, we got a big wagon wheel.

Yeah, how the hell did you get it? Where did you even find this? Yeah, and then the kids are like, you know, rock me mama any way you feel. The song Wagon Wheel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our First Dance. Oh, by Darius Rucker? Yeah, no.

We had the Old Crow Medicine Show version, and when we played it at our wedding, nobody knew the song, and then it since became sort of a country standard, and then Stephen Harper played it at a thing, and we were like, oh, well, I guess we can't cherish our memories anymore. Wasn't the other thing that happened leading up to your wedding day that you had found the perfect tie and no it was the shoes oh the shoes in a snowbank no no no no that you had found like a perfect tie and then you looked at the back and it was from the donald

trump collection yeah but you know i didn't buy it i and that was 2009. So I was way out ahead of the, but yeah, no, we were shopping for a tie and found it and it was Donald Trump and I couldn't do it. And so we went with another tie and I've always. Regretted it. So it's really been a thorn in the side of the wedding. Yeah. Every time we see the pictures. The Hillary Clinton collection. Why did she have a collection of ties?

Well, anyways, this suit buttons on the other side. But now you regret it because you love Donald Trump? Yeah, exactly. I didn't know he'd turn out to be so great, is what I meant. Yeah, because back then he was just chilling for Pizza Hut and whatnot. What I love the most about him is that like one out of every 500 tweets he'll tweet something you agree with

and you're like oh well yeah he's got like what like give me an example. Oh he made a statement a couple weeks ago about uh maybe it wasn't a tweet but it was about how North Korea is like um I forget what it was exactly but like how this isn't the vision of your grandfather, Kim Jong-un,

and you've actually made your country into a third world country. He's like, well, yeah, you're not wrong about that. How did that one slip through? But I feel like that was the whole problem with Donald Trump, and that was what made him so dangerous was that. Broken clocks, right? Twice a day. Well, yeah, but that's the thing, right? Like, so, like, you know, when the whole, like, so, when every, when he showed up with all those women who have accused Bill Clinton of, like, that was a horrible and tacky thing to do and way to do it.

But also, it was also unanswerable yeah yeah and you all then you want to go like how did the person with the like serial abuser husband think that the access hollywood tape was gonna clinch it for her yeah yeah like yeah so this guy is the pussy grabber. And then Bill Clinton was like, hey, I'm the pussy grabber in chief for 30 years. Like, and. It was weird that he was president for 30 years. Well, but he was very good. But like that, I think that was the, that's the uniquely dangerous thing about Donald Trump is that he does say things that every now and again are right or they're right for the wrong reason or they're wrong for the right reason. And so it resonates with people.

Would you rather be right for the wrong reason or wrong for the right reason or right for. Or just have the right stuff. Yeah. Or do the right thing. Or write a book and get paid in those reason chocolates. I think I'd rather do the right stuff. Yeah. Or do the right thing. Or write a book and get paid in those reasoned chocolates. I think I'd rather do the right thing. That's my, just because I've always wanted to meet Mookie. Such a hot day, though.

Oh, that's true. Oh, the humidity. That's what gets you. Yeah. For whatever reason last night, I went down a YouTube rabbit hole and I found a compilation of every ad that Donald Trump's ever appeared in, both for his own products and just as a character in an ad. And I didn't realize quite the like. Gamut. Yeah. He really.

There's a great one of him and Grimace. He can't be bought. Him and Grimace? Yeah, yeah. And so there's a lot of great photos of him and Grimace. Who looks more bulbous and grotesque? We'll look equally, yeah. Not the right color.

Neither of these colors is what living things are. Neither of these colors is what living things are. But yeah, there's a, he was in, he was in several generations of Pizza Hut commercials. He was like. Didn't he do Domino's later? Maybe he did Domino's as well. But he did like one where it was eating pizza backwards. Yeah.

Oh, I remember Ivanka. Yeah. And then, yeah, she. That was during the stuff, the original Stuffed Crust. daughter sorry ivana ivana and it was post-divorce him and ivana all right and they're splitting the pizza that's right yeah it was so which is actually a decent joke and then but then there was another one like when he was the apprentice guy and it was like donald trump's new york slice or something like that you're fire roasted that's a pretty good diet yeah but yeah anyways he i didn't realize i thought he was just i thought he i remembered the pizza hut commercial

and then i thought it was just all don Trump stuff. I didn't realize he was like visa guy. Oh, sure. All that kind of stuff. Oh, and that people felt... I want to say... Sorry, I don't want to feel like it was making light of the accusations against either Donald Trump or Joe Clinton.

And I just... This is the most serious I feel like I've ever been on this show. That's fine. We're hard hitting. Yeah. We're winding down the run of the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we want to make sure everybody's thoughts are on record. I mean, how many Peabody's can you win? That's actually a genuine question. If you could write in with the... But, like, you know know he was um the way that he was just kind of harmlessly or like viewed as being this kind of harmless eccentricity where he was just kind of plugged into like home alone or whatever where people felt like this like this it was it was like a man miss cleo was if she ran for president

now did miss cleo did she was she a shill as well did she appear no i feel it but i feel like she would have been done a cameo in something oh absolutely certainly was people would have spoofed her what about that guy that used to do the psychic reading show? Oh, John Edward? Yeah. Would he have been a guy people would have voted for? Probably, right? If he said, like, Abraham Lincoln came to me last night and said you should vote for me. Well, wasn't he actually John Kerry's running mate?

That's John Edwards. No one remembers that you i gotta you have a lot of american listeners and they well no they don't remember it either but in fairness was he like super boring was that no he was john edwards was a little like because john edward was the what was the show called passing over or going clear yeah yeah sitting still yeah yeah and then uh uh john edwards was a i mean he cheated on his wife and got someone pregnant or something so all of that but he looked he was like a pat sajak looking oh yeah right but he was one of those guys who was like actually like he pretty, his politics were pretty decent and people thought like, oh, this guy's great. He was kind of, uh,ie, you know, definitely not as left as Bernie Sanders,

but like, and then it all kind of unraveled literally like months later, but it was the National Enquirer that broke the story. And it was like next to a Sasquatch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it was Bad Boy who broke the story. Bad Boy? Yeah, remember? He. I think it was Bat Boy who broke the story. Bat Boy? Yeah, remember?

He was the Weekly World News. But he crossed over to the National Enquirer. Yeah, yeah. Bat Boy was let go in a downsizing at Weekly World News, but he got a column at the National Enquirer. Weekly World News? How did that? How was that something that was published?

It's great. Is it still? It's got to be. I haven't seen it in a supermarket. Newspapers are dying. Yeah. I'm looking it up. But you used to be able to buy it at the grocery store.

I think it was literally the only place you could buy it. 2007, it went out of print. Okay. Now it's just online. But I remember at www.www. But it would be like People Magazine, Us Weekly, and then this insanity paper. Yeah, it's true. It would just be anyone.

These are all, they all have the same shelf space. It's true. There was no presentation like differently or like this is fiction or here's something that's just for fun. It was in with the other newspapers. It's like Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Bad Boy and Mummy on the Loose. Anyone who used to read the Weekly World News thinks that they're called stuffed animals, not stuffies. But it was just like, yeah, it was. So the National Enquirer actually like sometimes does real news stuff?

TMZ used to be just like they would just harass celebrities going to and from their car at the airport. Yeah. And then they broke the Michael Jackson dying story. And no one believed it for like the first hour. Because it was, oh, just TMZ saying this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when they were right, now it's TMZ Nation. Right.

Now everyone's drinking. In Britain, it's TMZ. And it's likeZ nation. Right. Everyone's drinking. In Britain it's TMZ. And it's like, hello, I'm Rosemary Church. Yeah. And instead of drinking out of a water bottle,

he drinks tea. He drinks tea out of a, with a straw. With a straw. I didn't realize that that guy, Harvey Levin,

was the guy from People's Court. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never put that together i knew that they looked the same but i was like i didn't know that that but you think all those people look the same all those court reporters yes is judge wapner dead yeah he died in 2007

i'm shocked at reading the final issue of World Weekly News. Judge Wapner was, I think, the original People's Court judge. Yeah, and he's got to be dead. But you know when you go on Wikipedia, I don't think... Oh, he died this year. February of this year. But you know how on... Is it Judge Milian is now the judge?

I don't know because online or like the iPhone Wikipedia doesn't have that thing at the bottom where it'll be like succeeded by. Oh, yeah. It succeeded on the people's court. Yeah, exactly. But like what's the name of the sexy redheaded lady judge? I think that's. Judge Milian? Judge Milian.

Yeah. And I think she's the current people's court. She doesn't take nothing from nobody. Although, now there's Judge Judy and she's sexy. Judge Judy's the best.

She's still, she's still doling out this ass, but she's like, you can tell that she's, her patience has gone down significantly over the run

because she won't even let people present whole cases. She's just like nope whatever i don't think so wrap it up yeah and she i watched one recently where the bailiff like took one of the people out because the guy kept interrupting and i was like well real bailiff or is that an actor playing a bailiff and what happens if the guy fights back like wait you know what i mean like what makes someone a real bailiff

like do you have to get certified i mean i think it's the love of what they're doing like when did you feel like you were really a bailiff like you know the other bailiffs were letting you call yourself a bailiff like what was the first day that you felt you became a bailiff? I think it was when Bob Marley shot me. That's what I really felt. But I didn't shoot the constable. Well, but when I was a kid and I watched, uh, a lot of people's court. Yeah.

Like it was very interesting to me. And there was quite a bit of like legal boilerplate language on either end of the, uh, yeah. Cause basically it was this thing where these people were agreeing in order to expedite their case. It's really quite dystopian. Yeah, yeah. Because it actually sort of, it sounds like something from like a Margaret Atwood novel of like two people who have lost so much faith in the judicial system handling their case promptly and that they agree to do it in this like Roman Coliseum like environment where all, and,

but they agreed to those. They were real rulings and they had to legally. The rulings are real. The bailiffs are fake. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just got a calculator in its holster.

I mean, the bailiffs, I think the way you can tell is, are they, are, is it a fuckable bailiff? just got a calculator in his holster. I mean, the bailiff's, I think the way you can tell is, is it a fuckable bailiff? Yeah. Like Bull from Nightmare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. Like to climb that mountain, am I right?

So I think as long as somebody's not good looking, they're probably real. This guy, I think, this guy was, he was on the border. Yeah. But I remember like the old, when I watched him when I was a kid, the bailiff was named Rusty. That's right. Yeah. He went from the friendly giant to the people's square. He was a bailiff who was in a little bag on the wall.

So he couldn't escort people out because he was trapped in that little bag. Yeah. Oh boy. Yeah. Dave, what's going on with you, man? What is going on with me? Well, like I said, I went to a birthday party this weekend. Yeah.

And I think, I think you do, you can't open presents when they're like older, but I think like three-year-olds just cannot cope with like seeing another kid get stuff. But like, I remember opening presents when I was like seven or eight and being like, no problem. like three-year-olds just cannot cope with like seeing another kid gets stuff. But like, I remember opening presents when I was like seven or eight and being like, no problem. No, but we always did that when we were kids. It's a thing that has changed in that time. So now I don't think, now I think presents are open privately afterwards. Right.

And it's just like, yeah. Even for older kids? I think so. Because it's, if you think about it, it's this like, yeah. Even for older kids? I think so. Oh. Because it's, if you think about it, it's this weird thing where for a second, you know, the birthday kid is like Tutankhamen and, you know, everyone's just circled around them as they decide whether or not they're pleased with what they're being brought. But it's a horrible. But also like a kid can't, like doesn't have the stamina to open this many presents like yeah and they don't and they don't stay consistently excited yeah and also if

a gift is not as good kids don't have the wherewithal like the yeah the tactical like oh yeah yeah this is nice it's like this is not the one that I want. I mean, my daughter cries every time she gets a Kinder Surprise. She loves it. She's so excited. She's like Charlie Brown with the football. Every time it's like Kinder Surprise, it's a chocolate egg. There's going to be a toy inside. And she is never not totally disappointed with the toy that's inside.

I can relate to that. Yeah. The toys are garbage. Yeah, they really are. And they're the most chocable. Like Margo gets them too, but we have an 11-month-old who's like, oh, yeah, let me put these down my throat. They should just all have USBs in it that have fun content. Old Donald Trump ads.

content. Old Donald Trump ads. But the birthday party we went to was out in Surrey at a trampoline thing. I've been there, I think. A world, a trampoline, sky world, trampoline,

trampoline, indoor trampoline. All trampolining everywhere. Was there any other gymnastics stuff? No. Okay. There was trampolines. There was trampolining everywhere. Oh, was there any other gymnastics stuff? Okay, no. There was trampolines. This is not the place I went to. There was trampolining with a basketball to a basketball hoop. Cool.

There was trampolining into a foam pit. Oh, fun. How much did this place stink? It did not stink. Oh, really? It was fine. They make you wear special socks. Oh, okay.

Smart. Special socks that have special socks. Oh, okay. Smart. Special socks that have like silicone nubs on the bottom. Special socks with tits on the bottom. But is that to stop the static electricity? I don't know. And probably just to keep the bacteria. I mean, I took Josephine to a gymnastics birthday party and had two big trampolines and there's ropes and foam pits and whatever. And like,

it was like, it smelled like every child who's ever died. Their feet went to this place. Like, and that's, you walked in. Your child's in a better place. Their feet though.

Their feet are in Langley. But that's the other great thing is in Vancouver, where square footage has become such a premium. Any child activity that requires space takes place. Oh, in the suburbs. In the deep suburbs. Oh, totally. And so we went. Were adults allowed on the tramps?

Yeah. Yeah. Not on the tramps. Were they allowed to try the adults allowed on the tramps? Yeah. Yeah. Not on the tramps. Were they allowed to try the silicone socks on the tramps? And so we, growing up, we got a trampoline every summer. I'm a trampoline guy. What do you mean you got a trampoline every summer? We rented a trampoline for two months of the year.

Really? Yeah. Wow. And then eventually we bought a trampoline with another family and they got it 10 months of the year and we got it the two summer months. We made off like bandits. Who wants to try a trampoline in the winter? In the winter months.

Although out here you could still get some pretty good tramping done. Oh yeah. Guys, I call it tramping. All the cool kids call it tramping. Springtime tramping would be fine. Yeah. But this, so I do all the cool kids call it trampling springtime trampling would be fine but this I do all the moves I jump like the moment I got on there

everyone not everyone Abby was like you are jumping so high you are so impressive you are like a trampoline god and anyway long story short they're having a third kid yeah you can see

we're gonna name her Suri boy yo yo weenie um so I'm doing all the the drops

I'm doing bum drops doing knee drops oh god yeah doing going on my chest uh front flip I didn't do any flips

uh I trampolines are very small like they there's a bunch of them, but they're very small. Yeah. And I'm a big person.

And the first time I did a jump onto my chest, I was a little too far forward. Right. And I really just bounced off my neck. Oh, man. I just remember watching Dave over the closing credits of the man show with these silicone nubs and the, uh, but like the thing is if I do anything physical,

I'll start sweating in two minutes and like, I don't sweat profusely, but like if I work out for an hour, it's the same sweat. Like, right. Like I start sweating at an hour, it's the same sweat. Right. I start sweating at two minutes and... Just like a heat pump. Yeah, I'm just going to sweat for an hour.

Trampolines are just fun. I didn't think of it as a thing where I'm going to be sweating for an hour, but I was. Trampolining, it's hard. All the things that you just did as a child like ice skating if you ice skate as an adult you're like did it always hurt my back yeah i i did it as an adult i was shocked by like not only how much it hurt my back but also how much it hurt my feet yeah it was like your legs your back, it's really hard. Your neck, your back, your pussy, and your crack. They were all aching.

Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea. But, like, remember Damon Schroeder used to tell the story about, like, being on a date and romantically, like, rolling down the hill, like, when you were a kid. He's like, have you ever rolled down a hill as an adult? Just so painful and nauseating. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. I've always, uh, as a kid, I think I always dreamt about a trampoline world.

Yeah. But that didn't, no such place existed when I was a kid. Yeah. And so I, I would do like 30 seconds, like trampoline things. Like, okay, I'm going to take another break for another 5 minutes And then I'll be back on for 30 seconds Yeah And there's like but there's rules like you can't double bounce Someone two people can't share the same trampoline At the same time

Which is a bummer for the kids who Like when your kid's like come and jump with me I have to jump over here Yeah yeah and double bouncing is the whole point. Yeah. That's the whole world. And then we had a pizza and the, uh, this guy who worked there was like, came by with two jugs of just like neon color juice.

Do you want a fruit punch or orange drink? And I was like, orange drink. Yeah. And it was the exact same orange drink you've had your whole life. So that, you know, speaking of generational things, so somehow orange drink has pushed its way through the generations. Yeah. But, like, why can't I just go buy that?

You probably can. Where, though? Is it Tang? It might be Tang. Yeah. It has that Tang. Yeah. It has that Tang. Tang. It has that capital T Tang, small t Tang.

But yeah, it's definitely got that vibe to it. Yeah. It was always in a McDonald's tub when we were kids. And that was like, what, on sports day? We would get it after church at coffee hour. Really? Yeah. Oh boy.

I'd probably be still still on the church train to this day our church used it for communion you went to extreme church though didn't you the orange drink of christ shed for you peace of grimace be with you and merry grimace to you as well Yeah Merry Grimmest to you The hotcakes of Christ Which were slipped into this styrofoam box for you Does McDonald's still do hotcakes? Yeah oh yeah

They do a whole sandwich now with hotcakes instead of English muffin The McGriddle But that's different That's different hotcakes? Yeah, syrup-infused pancake things. Oh, that's right. I forgot about the infusion. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I still remember my dad's syrup infusion. I mean, he is Quebecois, so the bone marrow is actually just maple syrup. Yeah, so I went to Trampoline Land. Cool. And it was very cool and very painful, and I went to a trampoline land. Cool. And it was very cool and very painful, and I recommend it, and I don't. Yeah. Now, there's a house in my neighborhood.

Oh, but it also had the ones that are, like, vertical. Oh, like you would run it? So you can bounce off the wall. Whoa. Yeah. That's trampoline technology that is new to me. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun. Yeah, That's trampoline technology that is new to me. Yeah. That sounds like a lot of fun.

Yeah. It was great. There's a trampoline in my neighborhood on the front yard. There's a trampoline in my neighborhood that's on the front yard. Wasn't that your first dance at your wedding? But I always thought trampoline was a backyard. I think that was, But I always thought trampoline was a backyard. A coulomb. I think that.

Is it maybe a duplex where a family only gets a front or a backyard? No, it's just a single house. But yeah, it's a house that's got a lot of stuff on the front lawn. You see them in front yards now. It's true. In the old days, you would only ever see a trampoline in the backyard. Was that because people were afraid that people were going to steal a trampoline? Like it.

I mean, I feel like in the, there was very little that you were supposed to use your front yard for. Yeah. Like I remember my granny being kind of scandalized that somebody had put like chairs out. Yeah. I, like, I remember my granny being kind of scandalized that somebody had put like chairs out. Yeah. In the front. Like you don't sit on your front porch. I feel that way.

Like I, I don't want to see people walking by. Right. Like I don't want to make eye contact with a pedestrian. When you're walking by you, oh no, you don't want to see people while you're sitting up. Yeah. I see.

I would never go out front at any place I've ever lived. So I would want, if I'm jumping around on a trampoline, I would want the privacy or privacy of a backyard. Well, which is it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I thought so, too. But maybe that's just, maybe it's a new world.

And now trampolines are enclosed. Not this one. Oh, really? This one, these kids could really bounce right out into the street. Jesus. It's also at a kind of a wonky angle. Oh, when I see those, it sends shivers down my spine. Yeah.

What's up on some, like, blocks? We've been fixing it. It was a little wobbly, so we put a bunch of match boxes underneath it 20 yeah no double bouncing your brother into traffic yeah what's going on with you graham um well i uh i went on a uh tour of uh small small towns in BC with the debate horse. And I'm sure I'll tell stories for weeks to come. But the very first night. Where was it?

This was in Kamloops, BC. The Loops. And we're having dinner, dinner myself the road manager guy the the steve patterson and uh the john steinberg and somebody casually mentioned that oh we're with you know like tonight there's a hockey game and also the bare naked ladies are playing and how long has it been uh it really is um and they I guess

are have been doing this like super long tour of smaller towns playing like little theaters for Canada 150

super long tour of smaller towns he's not in the band I know he's the only one I can do, though. And it's really good. Thanks. I can do the bass player guy.

Look at my hat. Floppy hat. Does he still wear a floppy hat? No, he doesn't wear the floppy hat anymore. Gordon era. I have a little bone to pick over. I feel like the Barenaked Ladies should have slightly changed their name after Steven Page left. I feel like, you know, change it to BNL or whatever.

Right, right. It rubs me the wrong way that they just kind of went. Anyway. Right. I can see that. And I have a bone to pick who gives a shit. I think a million other bands have kept their name and why are they so special? a million other bands have kept their name and why are they so special so uh this road manager guy tom uh who's he's he's to it around with just everybody you know he's got like a million stories

he's like oh i know the guy who's putting on the show like i'll just i'll just send him a text and we'll just go see the show and i was like oh okay so he just sent a text and it was like all these guys they all know each other yeah and so yeah so we got tickets really nice we got a really nice seat uh on the kind of on the floor near the stage and there was somebody who had moved down into those seats uh because they thought nobody was coming oh yeah yeah yeah, yeah. And so that was a big production getting them to move. And did those people

act like they hadn't? Oh, they usurped your seats? Well, really, did the like looking confused at the, huh, but it says I'm good for one free car wash. Oh, yeah.

This is row C and I'm not good at ballet. So, oh, this is row 10. I'm in row 100. I forgot the X for zero. I'll be on my way, sir. Let me just find my top hat. You know, my tickets are in the old apartment.

Anybody? Everybody. Yeah. Anyways, I got to tell you, they put on a hell of a show, those guys. Oh, sure. Yeah. I saw them when I was 12. Yeah.

Right after the wedding. Right after my brother's backyard wedding. That's where you went on the honeymoon. Yeah. You know, when you get married as an elementary school student, you go on your honeymoon with your brother to a Barenaked Ladies concert at the Orpheum. Those are the rules. Yeah.

We're slaves to tradition. But yeah, they put on a really great show, and it's, you know, you know all those songs. Yeah. And they even acknowledge that there's a... Because you're a nerd. But yeah, but I'm not sure that i would feel it because i i feel like the bare naked ladies is a band they're almost exactly like the simpsons in the sense that like i feel this deep affection for the first like years of it and it's bound up

in my youth and all this but like i have no have no clue what the Barenaked Ladies have been up to for the last 15, 20 years. Right. Like, I know the Big Bang Theory theme. That's all I know. They acknowledge that, that they're like, a lot of people here are here with somebody who grew up with this music and you don't know any of our songs but I guarantee you you'll know this next one. This will be the only song you recognize. The whole universe.

They perform that? Yeah. Do they do like a three minute version of it? They do. It's a bit longer than the you know

I think there's some breakdowns. Oh sure. Go Sheldon. Go Sheldon. And then afterwards I, I met, met the fellas all very nice.

Are you serious? Yeah. Holy moly. Yeah. It was, did they know you? No. Were they thrilled?

They, they were, uh, uh, just like the nicest dudes. And, uh, uh,

you know, the big thing after the show was that they were gonna eat mcdonald's like fancy dijon ketchup yeah yeah yeah and so it's it was everything you'd hope it would be oh man do they eat mcdonald's after every show like they're kids after a hockey game i don't know but like it's their prize but maybe uh and it was uh yeah, I was really like, I was surprised because I was like, you know, I know like I know every song off that one album. Yeah. And then. But McDonald's is the same way of like, I have got all these great memories of McDonald's from being a child.

And then. And then the time throwing up in Fort McMurray. And I don't know what McDonald's has been up to the last decade. Yeah, it's true. Except that they did the Big Bang Theory theme. Ba-da-ba-Big Bang. That was good. Dave stands by it.

But yeah, so that was a highlight. And you didn't have a show that night. No, we didn't have a show that night. No, we didn't have a show that night. No, we decided to go to the concert instead. You know, guys, I know the road manager. Do you guys want to ditch out on our show? I know the road manager. He can legally get us out of doing the show we contracted.

Don't worry, he'll call in a bomb threat to the other theater. contracted don't worry he'll call it a bomb threat to the other theater um yeah so it was uh yeah it was fun fun uh it was also very weird because it would be like meeting uh you know like the kids from degrassi or something like it was like oh my god you're my my wife worked with Kathleen from Degrassi. Really? Yeah. Which one's Kathleen? Kathleen was the one

who had an abusive boyfriend. Yeah. She had an alcoholic mom. She had a rough go of it, actually. She did? She was in the original Degrassi? Obviously.

Well, I don't know. Like, I don't recognize... She's the rapper now. Which Degrassi is that? The Kathleen, like,

the original Degrassi... I don is that? The original Degrassi. I don't watch any private sector Degrassi. Sure. No CTV Degrassi. Kathleen's down on the like, I know Stephanie Kay. I know Joey Jeremiah. I know all the guys in the band.

I know the twins. I know Spike. There's like 50 people I know before Kathleen. But didn't Kathleen I know Spike. There's like 50 people I know before Kathleen. But didn't Kathleen, she had a sleepover at her house. Wasn't that the big. So Kathleen was the one who was, she was blonde. Her best friend was Melanie. It was, she was red haired and Kathleen put on airs, but it was all because she was quite defensive about how bad things actually were at home.

So she was kind of a snotty girl. Right. But then you got to meet her and her mom was a drunk. And remember Kathleen got onto that show where it was like, um, the challenge of like, and then her mom didn't show up. Yeah.

Blonde. She's blonde. Yeah. Yeah. So she is, um, she's an academic in my wife's field and they. And her son is Devin Sawa.

But her, she had a famous line that my brothers and I would quote to each other all the time. I'm Kathleen. Yeah. And we'd laugh. Was one, her friend, the redheaded one, told a secret about her mom to a guidance counselor. And she said, that wasn't your secret to tell. And so my brother and I would say, that wasn't your secret to tell. But she,

um, oh man, could I get an offer? Absolutely. get it right. That wasn't your secret. Dear Graham, this isn't your secret to tell.

Love, Rebecca. But she, um, uh, she had, so she's got two kids and they're a little bit older than Josephine. So we had like, literally Josephine wore clothes handed down from a Degrassi original cast. And then I.

That's royalty. On when I was working on that show with Devin Sala's mom. Stop dropping names that aren't names. Dropping names that aren't names. The guy who designed the sets was, I always forget his character's name. So his name is Andy Chambers, but he played the guy who gave Shane the acid. Oh, yeah. I forget what his character's name was.

I know exactly who you're talking about. Yeah, tall, thin, light-skinned black kid who gave Shane the acid and then Shane thought he was alive. Shane jumped off the bridge, got brain damage, although Shane was the father of Spike's daughter. You should be kicked in the head. That was how he came back from his flying off the bridge. And then years later, on the new Degrassi, he was played by Jonathan Torrance. Was he really? Yeah. Shane was?

Yeah, grown-up Shane, who was still in a care facility. But he was, yeah, he was played by Jonathan Torrance. That is dark. So they kept Shane, they kept the Shane storyline going. Yeah. Well, you can't, there's no changing history. No, I guess not. But you can, you know, you can't. There's no changing history. No, I guess not. But you can, you know,

you can shift focus. That is, wow. Man, that poor kid, he did acid one time. Because Spike's daughter was the focus of the new series. That was the launching

off point was. Oh, is that so? Yeah. Spike's daughter. Spike's daughter, Drake. And there's been like, like multiple generations of the new generation. Yeah, I can't keep track of the generations now. And it's got Snake and Joey, right?

The first iteration. And Stephanie Kay did as well? Was she in it? No, Caitlin. Caitlin. Oh, sorry. No, everybody went all the way with Stephanie Kay. Sure.

And that was... Was Yik Yu in the new one? No, everybody went all the way with Stephanie Kaye. Sure. And that was... Was Yik Yu in the new one? No, but he... He used to manage the Urban World. That's right. Yeah, he was never there when I was there. Stop knowing nobodies. There's somebodies.

Yik Yu is not a nobody. No, I know, but just... Him and Arthur called into the Sunday night section. Arthur had a wet dream, right? Yeah, yeah. Now Arthur's a nobody. Now Arthur, we can all agree. But he was Stephanie K's brother.

Yeah, I know. I like, and talk about, oh man, that was so rough on poor Arthur. We'll be right back. Are we ready to move on? Yeah, let's move on to Overhearts. Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You got to do the things you don't want to do to get through the day.

You got to shine your shoes. You got to sweep the floor. You got to clean your house. You got to do some more. Take care of business. Hey, everybody. It's Jumbotron time. If you would like a Jumbotron on our show,

a message to a loved one or to the audience at large, go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. Now, this first one is for Michael. From Michael? Hey, Michael. It's yourself again. Remember when you Jumbotroned on JJ Go about getting your dissertation done after MaxFunCon?

Well, it didn't work. Hopefully, the spy folks will motivate you better. Sure, your paying job is crazy, but you're so close. Just do it and give grad school a well. Off I go. That's pretty great. That's a good timely reminder. It's a reminder you can listen to over and over again.

Yeah. Michael, you can do it, Michael. Yeah. We believe in you, Michael. I mean,

I believe more in past Michael than future Michael. I believe in John Travolta as Michael. Oh yeah. Remember in the ads, he'd said that funny thing about, uh, he's like, I'm into John and Paul. And then they're like the apostles about uh he's like i'm into john and paul and then they're like

the apostles and he's like the beatles oh yeah i remember they were like hey you learned all of the portuguese in 20 minutes and he was like no not all what a movie yeah Yeah, that was phenomenal. Yeah. We have another Jumbotron, and this one is from... Tim Gray, and he has an album out called You Gotta Laugh. You gotta visit his website, zellers.biz, and buy his comedy album, You Gotta Laugh. Now, I've heard this comedy album. It is very funny. Mm-hmm. He's a very funny man based out of Winnipeg.

And, yeah, if you like comedy, boy, oh, boy, this guy's got it in spades. Zellers.biz. Yeah. As in the Canadian, was it bought by Target? Yeah, it was kind of like a Kmart. Yeah, it was like a Canadian Kmart called Zellers. Z-E-L-L-E-R-S dot biz. The album is available on Spotify, iTunes, Amazon, and all streaming services.

Physical copies can be ordered through his website, Zellers dot biz. Did I mention the website? It's Zellers dot biz. I love that website. Where the lowest price is the law. Go, Zeddy go if you need a maximum fun.org slash jumbotron go there and get one

bye BooFest count? It doesn't. Well, I blame my current life situation that has small children that need things. God, I love them, and I miss knowing about stuff. Well, after catching up on the current cultural offerings on podcasts that provide such information, join us on One Bad Mother as we help explore the harsh realities of sweeping self-identity changes

as we try to find ourselves between our pre- and post-kid selves. I used to like all the things. Download One Bad Mother on MaximumFun.org or Apple Podcasts. And yes, there will be swears. Max FunCon tickets are on sale now at MaxFunCon.com. Watch stand-up comedy on a mountain. Roll out of bed after a dance party to see a live podcast taping. Take classes from amazing teachers with the most supportive group of people you'll ever meet. Make a bunch of friends and eat a ton of s'mores. Come to Max Fun Con at Lake Arrowhead, California, the second weekend of June, for friendship, comedy, and creativity. Get your ticket now at MaxFunCon.com.

Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which when you hear great, hilarious content, don't just waste it in your own head. Share it here on the podcast. And we always like to start with the guest. Charlie, will you lead the charge? I will. I will renew my vows with overheard.

We, this is from a while ago. I think this is maybe the longest stretch since you guys started the show of me not coming on. Because this is from last Valentine's Day. Well, we won't let it happen again. You'll never come back. So I was out for lunch with...

That's another thing you do when you... Because you're like, hey, we don't have daycare at night. So Valentine's lunch. We went to this the Dario Piazza, the restaurant that's attached to the

Italian Cultural Center. Mexican restaurant! It's delicious. It's very good food, if you're ever in Vancouver. This guy will eat anything. Yeah, they call me the Michele.

Give it to Michele, he'll eat anything. Yeah. Yeah. They call me the Michele. Give it to Michele. He'll eat anything. And we were. Magusta, magusta. He likes it. Kara got mad at me because I couldn't stop listening to these old men who were at the table. Not even that close to us. They were just really loud.

And it was two old business, many types. And, uh, one of them was clearly Italian Canadian. And the other was Irish. And like, they were of a vintage where like,

that was like, we may be an interracial couple of friends, but we, but we're both Catholic. Yeah. But we're both Catholic. And, uh,

um, so they're talking. And then, you know, you could clear, it was clear that these were guys who like had their fingers in all kinds of different business pies or whatever. So one of them was talking about how he was working with Mr. T in the 80s. Wow. They were doing a tape together or something. And he says, he goes, he shook hands with mr t and he goes uh you know with all the rings he says he's related to his friends he goes with all the rings anyway he was on the floor and he then he gets up and he says nobody shake hands with sam like mr t was doing a thing about

how strong this guy was so he shook his hand and pretended to go on the floor and says, nobody shake hands with Sam. And then they were going, they were talking about, they were, from that, they were trying

to talk about Oprah. And the guy goes, who's that black girl has her own show, has her own internet? And they're talking about Oprah Winfrey. Wow. She has her own internet and they're talking about Oprah Winfrey wow she has her own internet yeah what a great yeah you just type in Oprah and that's the it's uh it's a whole different experience yeah

they were um they were uh they it got so much less funny they because they were so racist. Oh, sure. And they were having this racist off. Like it was like to a level that was just staggering. And they were talking about this friend of theirs who had been court marshaled because he refused to take black soldiers with him on night raids in Vietnam. Cause he insisted that the Vietcong could smell them and then and then the other guy goes oh yeah i mean the musk he says a negro could take five hours a day and get that

musk off what are you don't why are you going keep going with this you've got your laugh no but because it was so it was so we live in kind of a urban 2017 world where you're like oh you know is it racist that scarlett johansson is in this movie like like racism is on a higher shelf where you're gonna have to like and these guys were just just old, like literally talking about Negro Musk loudly in a restaurant. Like it was so mind blowing. Are you sure they weren't talking about Elon Musk? Because you know, a restaurant's loud, you know? Yeah, yeah.

You can take your Tesla into five car washes a day no i mean they were it was so it was one of those things where over the course of the lunch i went from i mean the oprah thing i thought they were hilarious then i was just like heartbroken and kara was just livid that i was not paying attention to her val Valentine's lunch. Listening to the two old racists. I forgot this was a Valentine's. Just one more anecdote and then we'll talk. Back to the Mr. T thing. I think that's a great

such a fun gag. If Hulk Hogan shakes a kid's hand. But I don't know that it works on an adult. Well, obviously it stuck with this guy.

This guy was telling this story 30 years later. This guy still thinks it's the best thing that's ever happened. Nobody shake hands with Sam.

So, like, the fact that he not only did the shtick, but then continued it as a warning to others in the room. And I'm not racist.

I like the musk. But the, uh, as a warning to others. And I'm not racist. I like the musk. Don't you have, like, it's, if you're famous for being a tough guy. Yeah. I'll handle this one.

Isn't it incumbent upon you to do that kind of gag? Yeah, yeah. Well, it's a kind of... Kids love it. The chicks really like to see you with kids. Yeah, well, yeah.

But like The Rock has to do... I'm sure he does gags like that. Ay, chihuahua! That's your rock. I just know what you're cooking. I watched the Ric Flair documentary. Oh, yeah. Did you watch that?

No. You should. You like that kind of thing. I do like that. We went from there were no documentaries to there's not just a documentary about every goddamn thing under the sun. But he's had a, is it mostly sad? No, he's, no, yeah, it is. It's rare like that documentary about a wrestler. He's had a, is it mostly sad? No, he's, no, yeah, it's rare that a documentary about a wrestler, he's sad.

Yeah. It's a new twist of the wrestler documentary. And, like, I don't know him. Like, we didn't watch any WCW growing up. Right. No, you were on the trampoline. We were a WWF family. Trampolines are pretty good wrestling, Matt.

Oh, yeah. The best. It's like wrestling on the moon. So, like, I didn't know any of... And anytime I saw WCW, I assumed it was old footage. I think they used older cameras or something. It just looked grainier. They used old wrestlers.

Like, they used WWF old wrestlers. Well, that was in the 90s oh yeah i mean watching in like 1989 that's like berlin wall sure they're smashing the berlin wall and it's like everyone's hair like rick flair's hair cut looks like it's from 1981 forever forever so that's why i always assumed it was old footage yeah and he was his whole thing was he was the original, like now it's every other basketball player or athlete really is like, I have so much money. Look at how much money I have. The president. Yeah.

And the president. Yeah. But he was kind of the first to be like That guy I don't think that was popular with sports The greedy heel Well also no one was rich Until like the mid 80's That's true

But he was like I wear snake skin shoes Or alligator shoes Yeah like the first Basketball player to make a million dollars Was like Magic Johnson in the 80's So no one was really shoes yeah like the first uh basketball player to make a million dollars was like magic johnson in the 80s so no one was really kevin banner told me that they now think minute bowl was like 20 years older than they thought he was at the time really yeah because they like there was no um birth like i'm lifting this entirely from Kevin Banner but it like

they weren't keeping you know in Sudan at the time like very you know strict records of births and whatever so but he recently so they made up his age basically but

then he died a little while ago at 90 no but he was like 47 or like so he died like way way young and now apparently they think that maybe this guy was in his literally like in his 50s playing in the nba but i don't have you ever seen an old tall guy no No. Yeah. No, it wasn't the world's, like the old, the old, old timey world's tallest man. Wasn't he an old guy?

You just feel that because it was black and white. Yeah, that's true. And he wore like a tweed jacket. I don't think you live past 50 if you're seven foot seven. Yeah.

Well, that heart is, you know, like that's a lot of extra work it's doing. It doesn't have a tall heart. He would have a bigger heart, wouldn't he? I mean, he was so kind.

To Muggsy Bogues. That's true. Every Christmas, my dad and we all gather around. He tells us the story of Manu Paul. It was the night before the slam dunk contest. Manu Paul was never in the slam dunk contest. Or maybe he was. I don't know.

Maybe he was. Oh, boy. Anyway, Ric Flair. Yeah. Rest in peace. Yes, rest in peace. And the new ball, rest in peace. Ric Flair, he they say he drank or he says he drank 10 beers

and 5 cocktails a day for 17 years. And that was just when he was confronted with it by a sports psychologist. How much do you drink? The regular amount. The regular amount. The regular double-digit amount. Oh, wow.

Dave, you're overheard. My overheard is an overseen, and it might be something where you just had to be there. But Poppy fell asleep in the car the other day, My overheard is an overseen, and it might be something where you just had to be there. But Poppy fell asleep in the car the other day, and when she falls asleep in the car and I have nothing to do, I'll just drive. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or even if we have somewhere to be, like she has swimming lessons, but I'm not going to wake her up for it.

No. Because they're not really lessons. And she doesn't know. Yeah. That's why I don't feel bad about leaving my daughter a world ravaged by climate change is most of the driving I do was for her to sleep. Yeah. And I go, really, these are your carbon emissions. Fair enough.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, I do feel bad because I sometimes take my daughter on one of the seven tanker trucks or tankers that, uh, aren't there like seven big ships in the world that have more, create more Seven tanker trucks. Tankers. Aren't there like seven big ships in the world that create more pollution than every car in the world? Really? I don't know.

Probably. Who knows? Mostly because they're shipping cars. Yeah. My feds back and forth. We don't want them. Yeah. Too small. So as I was driving, I went past, there's a park on, I think it's 33rd and Arbutus that has a Frisbee golf course.

Oh yeah. And it just made me laugh so much that I drove past this park and I saw guys warming up. Yeah. And I saw guys warming up. Yeah. Like a group of four guys practicing their big, their big, like, the motion that you go through to throw a frisbee a long way. And then a guy, like, just little flicks of his wrist, warming up his wrist, holding it,

not actually throwing it. Yeah. Just like practicing his putting, I guess. Oh, wow. No, you didn't have to be there. You didn't have to be there. I can practically, and you spin such a story, I can practically see the price tags still on their penises.

What? Yeah, just unused, you know? Like brand new factory sealed. Factory sealed genitals. And it's, what are they throwing it into a little basket? A basket with chains. Yeah. Hanging down.

So funny. That actually used to be like a medieval torture device. Playing Frisbee. Yeah, watching. I am, I am Frolf. Bring me Frolf. Yeah. I've never, I've never seen people do it. Like, have you done it? No. Um, yeah. Uh, I've never,

I've never seen people do it. Like, have you done it? No, no, no. We did it once for like a sports camp. Okay.

Like one day we'll go Frisbee golf. Yeah. I think the whole concept of Frisbee, I think like, I was like, this is something a dog does. This is something that a dog is interested in. Um,

Oh, you have one i do i do uh my uh my is it overheard overseen it's a whole it's a whole thing that's a multi-sensory experience uh i saw an old guy i don't understand uh the old people who have such an affinity for pigeons like i like pigeons just fine but I don't understand feeding them. I don't understand hanging around them. Is this an overheard about Mike Tyson? But I saw an old man. This was in trail BC clapping for a pigeon.

And saying, you're a big boy. LBC clapping for a pigeon and saying you're a big boy wow good for you yeah yay how was your day today, honey? Oh, you'll never guess the size of pigeon I saw.

Was that big boy there again today? Yeah, I gave him a round of applause. Anyways, you know, that guy's living his best life. It's trail. My mother's hometown. Trail will be's hometown Really? Yeah Yep I went to the emergency room in trail

As a teenager Oh yeah? Would you get stuck up your butt? And why did they take you all the way up to trail? It was a giant pigeon that I got stuck in my ass No I Ate some bad Mr. Sub. In trail?

On the way. On the trail. And I threw up and I forget how I ended up. It was pretty intense, I think. So they took me to the emergency room. I was on a debate trip. Oh, that's where it all began. Yeah. And there was this doctor. He was a very handsome African man.

Tall, seven foot seven. Looked older than I thought he was. But he then looked at me. He got me to take my shirt off. Because I think it was that I had broken blood vessels or something around my eyes. Right. From throwing up. Barfing hard. And then he was like.

Or hardly barfing. That was his first question when he walked in the room. So, barfing hard or hardly barfing? Anyways, I'm Dr. Bull. I'll be with you in a minute basketball yeah so you were okay though yeah i Yeah, I was fine. I was pretty fat, but otherwise. Now, we also have overheards sent in from people all over the globe. If you want to send one in, send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from David from Toronto.

Hi, David. I was at a second cup at the counter ordering, and I heard someone walking behind me who said, Mmm, just like Starbucks. Mmm, they got all the same stuff here. Cool. What are the major Canadian coffee chains? There's your second cup. Second cup.

There's Waves. Waves. Blends. Blends with a Z. On the island, there's a crazy amount of uh it's called serious coffee huh there's like there's one in every town serious coffee so that's another canadian and then that's the satellite radio coffee yeah and then out in toronto there's a place that is uh roundly despised called uh Time. Oh, yeah, yeah.

But that's more of a donut situation. Coffee donut place. Yeah. Yeah. Then there's the donut situation down on Bloor. That's owned by the situation. He's got a six. You'll get a six pack of donuts.

That's it. Served in an ab case. The logo is him pulling up a shirt and those six donuts. It's right next to milk and Snooki's. Oh, boy. We're having fun. This next one comes from Alex H. I get why the audience for this show is shrinking.

Is the audience shrinking? No. It's, you know, it's evergreen. But, like, people must be dying off. Yeah. People who would get a combination donut shop, Mike the Situation Sorrentino reference, they are a dying breed. They're dying from tan poisoning oh this is uh who's i talking to i was talking to sophie buttle the other night about like

the first time that she went tanning she didn't know how much time you go in for tanning and so she like the girl said how much time do you want she's like I don't know an hour the girl's like I wouldn't give you over seven minutes like uh yeah

okay yeah seven minutes whatever man wait seven minutes is the maximum but I mean like they wouldn't let somebody

but also like if they asked you what would you have said An hour What do you charge per hour This is Alex H also in Toronto Just now overheard the following conversation Between two co-workers

Close to my desk Have you ever seen the movie Hook Co-worker 2 Is that the one the movie hook co-worker two is that the one with julia roberts oh wait no i'm thinking of pretty woman but it is the one with julia roberts but she does play a hook in pretty woman pretty good yeah not bad um apparently she was a real nightmare to deal with on the set of of hook oh yeah she was well at one point she died and uh they all had to clap to bring her back yeah yeah yeah that was just the beginning that was really needy uh um are they doing because last year

or in the last few years they've been doing i guess not never mind what do you mean sorry uh they did like a peter pan live musical yeah and like a few years ago they did a sound of music live musical on tv oh yeah they just recently did the rocky horror picture oh did they was that recent yeah that was like 1970s i mean mean, relatively recent. They did. It was the... Frank Inferno was played by the hairdresser from Orange is the New Black. Okay.

And anyways, it was a big flop. I think they are all... Either big flops or huge successes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the Grease one was pretty well received. But then you're running out of musicals, I think, that people want to see. I heard that the Grease one had to have its debt restructured. You're listening to The Economist podcast.

But normally, I think in the last few years, they've been putting them out on American Thanksgiving. So I guess that didn't happen this year. Somebody sent me, it was a review of a Grereece like a local production of a greece musical and uh the headline was greece is the worst instead of greece is the word whoa yeah harsh i was like wow this is the worst like I'm like, I've got to dive into this review. Oh, boy. Tell me more.

Tell me more. Oh, yeah. No, I think that was the first sentence was tell me less. Oh, Jesus. A lot of theater school dropouts. Just getting every, hitting them with every one of them. Summer hate. just getting every hitting them with every one of them summer hate grease shit the chicks will shit this last one comes from uh lizzy v in pittsburgh i was standing at a bus stop and as a couple walked by the guy said do you want to go see red man and some girl who was a playboy bunny doing stand-up um yeah i guess i am in the mood to see something terrible.

Oh, wow. I wonder what Redman's method is. I mean, when did old Contempt McGee turn into that? That's not something you would say about any comedian. That's true. Oh, yeah, what's Kevin Hart's method say about any comedian. That's true. Oh, yeah. What's Kevin Hart's method of stand-up? Oh, jeez.

You have turned into a real old dirty bastard. Oh, boy. Well, while we're restructuring my debt, let's listen to some overheards. If you want to call us with your overheard, you can do it easily by knowing the number, which I do, and typing it into your phone. I mean, nobody calls sex workers

hooks either. I don't. 1-844-779-7631 or 1-UGH-SPYPOD-1. I was just saying, ugh, to your joke. I thought, oh, that's cooler than they got, ugh. All right, here we go. Hey, Dave and Graham, it's Patrick Foy in Omaha, Nebraska.

I was just at a drive-thru at a Wendy's, and when I rolled up to the box, the woman said, Welcome to Wendy's. I'll be with you in just a minute. And she didn't turn off her talker because then I heard her say, I gotta fart. And then it cut off. Bye.

Oh, wait. And away I go. It's off I go. Yeah, but I love I love that somebody would say that out loud instead of just like, I gotta go away for a minute. I gotta fart. I gotta of just like, I got to go away for a minute. I got to fart. I got to hold it in, I guess.

There's a lot of open flames here in Wendy. What did the training video say about farting on the job? What do they rhyme it with in the rap? Yeah, you don't want to end up with one of those accidental frosty situations. Yeah, you don't want to end up with one of those accidental frosty situations. Dave Thomas says, don't make a frosty on your shift. Here's your next one. Hi, Dave Graham and probable guests. This is John from North Carolina.

I have an overseeing from 30 years ago. It was my first day at camp, and it was kind of a meet and greet with parents and staff and other campers. And I'm standing with my parents, and they're talking to one of the camp counselors, I'm standing with my parents and they're talking to one of the camp counselors. And I look over and I see a kid who's talking to some other parents. And he's wearing a T-shirt that has a rat with an erect human penis and testicles. human penis and testicles and underneath the rat with the erection

it says, Here kitty kitty! And when I saw it all I could think was Oh God, I hope my parents don't see that fucking t-shirt. so much to unpack here oh boy I just want to know

how long like this guy's been listening to the podcast maybe he just discovered it yeah oh that's possible. Our audience is always growing.

Like a rat's erect human penis. I miss those dirty 80s t-shirts, which don't really seem to exist anymore. No. For however awful our culture has become, we progressed. Because I remember there was a kid, like a big kid, like a grade seven at my elementary school who had a t-shirt. Like it was a sweatshirt. It said, do it in the sand. And I was like six or seven.

And I was like, what's it? He goes, you know, it. And I went, pee? And he was like, yeah. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. You're kidding.

Like, who made that shirt? Who bought it for their kid? It's how we can all relate to it. It's like, the dad is like, this was handed down to me for my kid. Yeah. We can all relate. Or it's like the dad is like this was handed down to me for my boner

and now I'm handing it down to you. Rat with a boner. A human boner. A human boner. And why is he why is the rat

gonna have sex with a cat? Yeah. Shouldn't the cat have a boner and be chasing a rat? Yeah. I guess. I don't the cat have a boner and be chasing a rat? Yeah. I guess.

Or a dog chasing a cat and he can say here kitty kitty. Yeah. Or you can say I want to give a dog a bone. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh boy. Like they really dropped the ball on this weird shirt. They dropped two balls from that rat. Oh.

Oh. But like because that's what San Francisco was all about. Yes. That was the story. The store was, you could get all sorts of hilarious. Like a gorilla, like a porcelain gorilla mug with a banana. And then if you took the banana off, underneath was the gorilla's huge cock.

But it's like, I wondered i was like hide your cock under a bushel where does this end up like where does it go like i could see a teenager being like oh yeah this is great yeah but then there were like things like it was like an erotic thing that you put your pot scrubber in and you'd be like well who's using this for their pot scrub no teenager it's all like gag gifts right yeah but like they just get thrown in the garbage or do they end up in the same place of like you know if someone when they make the championship t-shirt for a team that doesn't end up winning they send them all to the third world yeah along with these you know penis popsicle

holders or mold testicle shaped oven mitts or whatever but i also feel like there's probably actually something to this but i wonder if it's like now that work cultures are less um permissive of that kind of like bodiness slash sexual harassment. Right. Like, like, cause all of this stuff is like, it's essentially just, it's a hostile work environment. Yeah.

Starter kit. Yeah. Yeah. And people would give that stuff on like, like, Oh, Bob's retiring. Yeah.

So we got him this cock magnet. For all your retirement cocking. Yeah. But then there was also there's the more benign stuff that also just ends up like it'd be like a little statue of a golfer and then it says like a funny and it's like i put it in my ass yeah no it was always about misogyny. Yeah. I'd rather be golfing than I'll put on my wife's grave. It was just always some horrible fucking. He's written in his wife's name. Yeah. How horrible marriage was and how great golf was.

I guess that's true. I'd rather have 18 holes in my head than. Then what in my bed? Oh, Lordy. Here's your final overheard. Here, kitty kitty. Hi, Dave Graham and my favorite guest. Oh.

Jen from Pittsburgh. That's a wrong number. With an overheard. I was with my sister in L.A. last month, and we were standing on the street, on the sidewalk, and waiting for a car, and we heard this lady on her cell phone, and she was being very empathetic with whoever she was talking to,

and she said, Yes, I know you love drugs, and that's all we heard. But... Well done. I like the idea that she's talking to a dog that works all we heard. But... Well, duh. I like the idea that she's talking to a dog that works at the airport. But it's time to retire.

Yeah. I know you love drugs. Who's a big boy? Who loves drugs? Oh, boy. I mean, nothing wrong with drugs, right? Sure, I mean... Yeah.

Drugs, drugs, drugs. All are good they make you feel good and there's no consequence yeah I mean I've always said it don't know why they're illegal

uh you know a lot of drugs aren't illegal you know what caffeine's a drug yeah that's true how about this

alcohol's a drug okay hey you know what capitalism's a drug right consumering consumerizing yeah consumerizing

consumering stop consumering everythingizing yeah consumerizing consumering stop consumering everything you guys actually it is buy nothing day today yeah and uh my friend andrew uh posted he's like i'm not buying anything today i was like yeah that's because i'm taking you to lunch yeah i already bought a scone so once the seal's broken on Buy Nothing Day just to buy everything yeah well that brings us to the end of this here episode Charlie

you have you've got numerous things to plug yeah good thing it's not Buy Nothing Day by the time you hear this yeah yeah yeah

buy I'm about to ask you to buy everything so I have a new comedy album out. It's called Fatherland. Oh, we should have plugged it before. We talked about Degrassi for 45 minutes.

It is from 604 Records. You can get it on iTunes or Spotify or Google or Oprah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can get it anywhere. Now, 604 Records for people who don't know is the record label owned by

famous Vancouverite Devin Sawa. Devin Sawa and his mother is also a shareholder. The recording. No, so it's the same record label

as Carly Rae Jepsen. So call me maybe your favorite comedian. Yeah, there you go. So it's called Fatherland. I'm very proud of it. Um, so maybe your favorite comedian. Yeah. Um, uh, so it's called fatherland. Uh, I'm very proud of it. I hope people like it. So please buy it.

Um, I have, uh, really, really, really likes it. That's a Carly Rae Jepsen song. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, if, if my blank expression seemed like I didn't know the song, that is accurate. That's awesome. So, continuing. I don't know what to say.

Go for it. You can also buy Ebony Rosen's book, What I Think Happened, an under-researched history of the Western world, past guest, and partner of recent past guest, James Hartnett. Yeah. And she— What do you have? Why are you plugging that? How are you involved in that? Excellent question, Dave.

Thanks for teeing that up. Remind me to give you a filthy, misogynist golfing t-shirt. So I am the editor of a new imprint of humor books at Arsenal Pulp Press called Robin's Egg Books. And Ebony's book is the first book in that series. So it's essentially I get to pick somebody who I want to work with and I, uh, they write their book and I edit it and it comes out under the, uh, under the Robin's egg imprint. And so I'm very thrilled.

Uh, Evany's book is hilarious. It's just gone into its second printing, which is incredible. Um, and, uh, she's brilliant. And, uh, so if you buy that, that helps her, it helps me, but mostly it helps you because it's a great book.

And you can also pre-order my next book, um, on Amazon, uh, called, uh, property values, which is a,

uh, a crime novel. Uh, it's a comedy and it comes out in April. Wow. That's a lot of stuff. And yet life is still a April. Wow. That's a lot of stuff. And yet life is still a nightmare.

Yeah. Wow. That's the. That's how it goes. Yeah. That's what I was always promised as a kid. No matter what you do. Life will be a nightmare. You also have another season of Beat Bugs.

We just finished. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, actually. Beetle Buggles. Beat Bugs, the one-hour special all together now just went up on Netflix

a couple days ago. And I watched it last night with my family and it's really good. It's a fun, and I play my usual character, Walter, but then I also play

this teddy bear. And it's very fun and it's very well done and Cat Stevens sings on it. Who? Yusuf Islam. Oh's very well done. And Cat Stevens sings on it. Who? Yusuf Islam. Oh, yes. Yes.

Okay. And it was a lot of fun. It was really well done. And I just hope we get to do more. Yeah. What was it like jamming with Cat? Well, you know, a lot of people think, well, you must meet him if he's on the show. But it's more than that.

I mean, he stayed at our place for a few weeks. For a few weeks? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Just to get into character. Cool. Yeah. I'm Muslim now.

Oh, hey. Yeah. Charlie, thank you so much for being a guest again. Thanks, man. It's always a pleasure. Thank you very much for having me. You guys out there who are listening, if you want to follow the show, we're on Twitter, at Stop Podcasting.

That's right. We have a Facebook group. You join it. Yep. We're there. We're on Reddit. Reddit, r slash r slash Maximum Fun. And you know what?

Thanks for listening, everybody. And if you like the show, why don't you tell a friend and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. You could have been a singer. You could you could have done that well um i love singing yeah i do i feel like i should have replaced steven page as a mark walberg like because i even look like steven page and steven page left and then i could have come in. What did Mark Wahlberg? Oh, Rockstar. Rockstar, yeah. So I would have been the, yeah, it's been. Yeah. And then you come, and I say at the concert, you know,

squint your eyes, and I kind of like the same, and I totally sound the same. And you could also be that Filipino guy from Journey. Is there a Filipino guy in Journey? Oh, yeah. He's the lead singer. Really? Yeah.

There's a good documentary on Netflix about it. See? What I learned. But he replaced the original or the second follow-up lead singer? But he's, like, perfect. Yeah. Like, he sounds exactly... I think his name's Villy Folau. Is that right?

No, that's the guy who was, who married his teacher. Oh. Jesus. Are they still married? In a legal ceremony or just one of those?

They're still married. Yeah. Actually, they just renewed their house. School yard thing. None of this is going in the show. Oh, that's stupid.

Come on. Testing. Testing. Testing. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Come on. Testing. Testing. Testing. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.