Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 512 - Kayla Lorette

Episode Date: January 9, 2018

Comedian and actress Kayla Lorette returns to talk eggs, Christmas present panic, and more small town pizza delivery. Plus, more goblin talk.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 512 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a guy who did a just quick, quick deodorant check just off air. And he's fresh as a daisy. Fresh as the day he was born. Mr. Dave Shumka. I saw this thing online about people claiming they don't wear deodorant because it has aluminum in it.

Yeah. Deodorant doesn't have aluminum. antiperspirant so if you're staying away from deodorant because of aluminum reasons get back on that train stinko yeah stinko oh um it's uh it's a very easy time of year to go deodorant list what. What? Because it's cold out. Oh, because I feel the opposite because I layer up. Oh, sure. And then I get, you know what, I'm in the malls. Yeah, yeah. And somebody in the mall is not wearing deodorant.

But then I start sweating because I'm wearing all my gear. Yeah. Well, because I'm dressed to go fishing. A hot ice water fishing. Hot ice water fishing. Tell me more. Okay, the water's very hot, but you got to throw some ice water fishing. Yeah. Tell me more. Okay. The water's very hot, but you got to throw some ice in there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool it down. Well, so the fish use ice as bait because the fish are so hot. They're like, ooh, ice cube. And then I start a sweating while I'm, you know, I don't think I've been in a proper mall, a mall proper in a long time Well, I was in one just this past week It was their bathroom

Oh, sure Thank you Our guest today, very funny You know what? I've been to a mall only because I'm like Every mall you go to has a food court That has some like Japanese teriyaki thing Yeah, yeah

Gotta try it always a different restaurant name always the same food yeah yeah yeah i love it uh they get it from central teriyaki um our guest today very funny comedian actress writer producer Writer, producer, it's Kayla Lorette, everybody. Hello. Hello. Thanks. Thanks for joining us. Oh, it's so nice.

You know when you get, it's the winter and your hands are cold, but your pits are sweaty. It is a problem. I hate that feeling. You seem like a crystal deodorant lady Fuck you I did try it But it doesn't It's not good

Yeah it doesn't Crystals can't do everything Sure they can do a lot They regulate my menses Yeah you can You know salt is a little crystal Makes food taste nice That's true

Salt is a little crystal Yeah Oh But that stuff doesn't work very well. I did try it because I thought, same, fear of this. I tried it as well. Aluminum in my armpits. And the thing is, sweat doesn't really smell bad for me in my body unless I'm stressed.

And that's when it smells bad. Right. But I'm trying this organic stuff. I'm stressed out because I know it's not going to work and then it's not working. Yeah. Now, I say, because people like to write in and correct me. I might be completely wrong about the aluminum. But I think it is antiperspirant for sure.

Yeah. Which is predominantly what's sold to women. Sure. The aluminum. The aluminum. But I think it is antiperspirant for sure. Antiperspirant, yeah. Which is predominantly what's sold to women. Sure. Because we've got to give women cancer. And ruin your shirts. Yeah, yeah. It makes your armpits all brittle. I found an old.

Have you had armpit brittle? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Only around Christmas. Lovely treat. Should we get to know us? Okay. Kayla, when was the last time you were in a mall? A mall Clooney.

Is that her name? Yeah. She went to the UN to show off her baby bump. Oh, that's nice. That is nice. No, it's not. No? She's an international lawyer.

She didn't go to the UN to show off her baby bump. Oh, I get it. But still, it would be nice to go, you know, reunite with the old gang. Sure. You know. Say hi, everyone. Yeah. She went, yeah.

Yeah. She got a, you know, a gift card to Baby City. Yeah. Babies R Us from Boutros Boutros College. Yeah. The United Colors of Benetton. These are things that I think the United Nations would be into in a big way. Lovely scene.

What? You're from, you live in Toronto. I do live in Toronto. And you go to Eden Center all the time. Yes, but the preference would be Dufferin Mall, which is the more relaxing mall. Okay, what's the feel? Tell me all about Dufferin Mall. I've never been.

No one's ever talked about this? No. Okay, well. Here we go. Seems a bit over to me. Dufferin Mall is, some people call it Sufferin Mall. Oh, is it like a dirt mall? It's not like your, what's the trash mall?

Oh, that trash place. It's not bad. It's good. But it's fun, those ones where it's a bit off with it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Suffern Mall, it's improved a lot. Their food court's gotten just a big open window. But there's a lot of old men that are just there all day.

Yeah. A lot of pregnant teens. Oh. So is this dentistry from Degrassi? Yeah, they're shipping him right into the mall. It's just more relaxing. There's less panic. Eaton Center, it just feels more downtown.

Does the Dufferin Mall have weird stores that you've never heard of before? Because I like a mall that has a couple, you know. I like a mall Clooney. You don't get to do that twice. If we're going to be trapped in this cycle back into this UN scenario. She had that baby. She was showing off the bump.

Maybe she's not. You know how Beyonce didn't have her first baby. Oh. What is that? Is that a... There's all these pictures online of her, like, sitting down

and the baby bump kind of folding in a way that's not right. And everyone's like, she didn't have it. And she got into shape so quick after the baby. Yeah.

So what did it... Maybe it was a surrogate. Oh, sure. But she claimed she was Prego. This is a conspiracy theory. Because Illuminati. I like a good conspiracy. There's only Illuminati. I like a good conspiracy.

There's only Illuminati in Antiperspirant. You know what I felt like? I went through a box of old shirts because I used to wear Antiperspirant and one of the old shirts

like it had like aluminum flecks on the armpit. Yeah. So it's like not even Tinsel. It's like tinsel. Yeah, it's like not even. Tinsel. It's like tinsel. It's like tinsel.

Hey, tinsel pits. Hey there, tinsel pits. Are you sweaty, man? No, but I. Davis. In the summer. I raised my hand. In the summer, I'm.

I like it when girls, I think it's fly when girls stop by in the summer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the summer. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. So you're hanging out at the Duffer Mall. We are all over the map.

Yeah, absolutely. You're wearing organic deodorant. Crystals in each pit. Charging them up in the full moon and then sticking them in the water. Speaking of your pits, do you have a tattoo there? Yeah. Is that new no okay just didn't take to the skin right so it looks new so it's moving around a lot it was started

on my thigh it's moved up the arm what is it it's a sword oh cool yeah like a like a wiggly sword yeah cool i got it in ber. What? In a kitchen. Really? Yeah, just to be cool. Like whose kitchen? Like a tattoo artist's kitchen? Okay. Mm-hmm.

And what's the significance of a wiggly sword? Well, I just wanted something that was a bit dumb. And that I would find dumb and a bit tough. Because I, well, you know, when you tough because I, well, you know, when you're an actor, writer, you know, as you called me, sometimes your body, other people are telling you what to do with it,

what it should look like. And I wanted something that was permanently a bad idea. That was my decision. Do you? I'll tell you what, makeup artists don't like that. Do you have other tattoos? No, that's it.

Do you... Now, Graham, you're tattoo free. Tattoo free since 93. 93, yeah. When I had them all removed. No, I thought you were going to say that you're 24 years old. You look horrible. I know.

Maybe you should get some tattoos. Hey, cover up some. You, is it exhausting when people ask you, why that? Why the tattoo? Yeah. I think that, yeah. Have you seen, what's his name's tattoos? Post Malone?

Shape of Your Body? Oh, Ed Sheeran? Ed Sheeran's got horrible tattoos. They're very literal. He's got really bad tattoos. Yeah. Well, it's, I don't know. Everyone has them now, and it just seems like not a big deal.

It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. And the symbol doesn't mean anything. My generation's going to be just all covered up. I remember my parents both

up and down swearing that they would disown me if I ever got a tattoo. No, my mom has a tattoo. So everybody has a fucking tattoo, you know?

I don't know why that shocked me so much. What's your mom's tattoo? I was expecting you to say your brothers have tattoos. One of my brothers has a tattoo. No, Patch.

Oh. Is it of a patch? Yeah, it's of Patch Adams. Yeah, it's the video box of Patch Adams. So it's got the reviews from... A triumph. Peter Travers. What's your mom's tattoo?

Oh, is it rude to reveal? Never asked me about her tattoo. No, it's of my dad's name. That's nice. Yeah. I mean, you know, if you put in the time, somebody should. John? Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's a pretty basic name Yeah exactly It's safe Yeah Yeah Like she could find She could find another one Yeah

Yeah That's easy It's not like Winona Forever No Oh Changed it to Winona Forever What a clever young Young man

He is A guy who He has a lot of bad tattoos. Could he have changed it to, you know, win on a game show forever? Win on a game show forever. Yeah. You know what? He could have done that.

Yeah. Yeah. Picture of Bob Barker. Yeah, sure. And it wouldn't have been any worse than what he has. He's not, yeah. Nothing's stacking up right for him anymore. But it's fine.

He doesn't... He doesn't need to. He doesn't live or die by... No one's going to disown him for his tattoo. Well, that's what I always thought. If you were like, you know, you owned a bar or started some kind of app company, you could just cover yourself in whatever you wanted.

Yeah. But I couldn't. No, because you're... I can't have a neck tattoo. I can't hire me. Right. Doesn't... What's his name have...

He's got to be covered all the time. Tom Hardy. He's like... That's why they always put some kind of mask on his face. He's in some kind of suit. Because he's slathered in the tattoos Oh yeah And so they always have to

You know airbrush him down and stuff I mean lucky Whoever gets the So you Did you see that Ben Affleck Had the giant like Like Griffin tattoo on his back Oh god

Or something Harry Potter related It was like Oh no And it was going around for related. It was like. Oh, no. And it was going around for a while and it was fake. Oh, really? But it wasn't for anything. That's weird. It wasn't like for a role or something.

He just, he did it to mess with paparazzi or something. Oh, I thought you were saying it was Photoshop. He had it done. He did have it. He had it on him. That is a pretty good joke. But like. That is pretty good. He's got a good He had it on him. That is a pretty good joke. But like, that is pretty good. He's got a good sense of humor, and I think of him as a funny guy.

I do too. Let's just hope he gets through this whole situation. What's the actor who plays Harry Potter? Daniel Radcliffe. Daniel Radcliffe. He did a good paparazzi prank where he was doing a play and he wore the same outfit every day when he left so their paparazzi photos were useless

because they all looked... What a comment. That was Jen Aniston's big thing too. She wore that for years. And fake card nipples. Fake card nipples? In the show? Conspiracy theory?

I don't know. I don't remember n I don't remember. I made that up. They're usually hard. Oh, yeah. I would... Yeah. That was like a big draw for me.

Oh. Big draw. Big draw. First the friendship. And then... Well, for teenage Graham, he didn't care as much about their friendship and the quips as much as the nips. Oh.

Yeah. That's the new format of the show, is we do a lot of... We are doing a lot of wordplay today. Snappy. Sometimes it's Amal Clooney. Sometimes it's nips and quips. And sometimes it's that Illuminati aluminum joke. It's good. You're generating material that you can't use outside of the context of this podcast episode. Sometimes it's that Illuminati aluminum joke.

It's good. You're generating material that you can't use outside of the context of this podcast episode. Well, I know, but that's what, like, what value does it have outside of this? Yeah. We're here for this. We're here for you. Yeah. This is, this is. I mean, you feel free to generate your own material that you use later.

I'll workshop some stuff. You want to do a character? Yeah, here we go. Oh, okay. Tell me. Why'd you come back here? That's kind of a guy who... Oh, it's a guy.

Yeah. And did you say tell me or Tammy? Tell me, but Tammy's more specific. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we do it one more time? Tell me. Why don't you come back here? Can we have tell me or Tammy? Tell me. But Tammy's more specific. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we do it one more time? Tammy. Why don't you come back? Can we have tell me Tammy?

Tell me Tammy. Tell me Tammy. Why did you bring a tamale? Good. Tomorrow. Good. Bring me, tell me Tammy. Tell me Tammy.

Can you bring me a tamale tomorrow? Tamore. Tamore. Tamore. Tamore. Okay. Can you bring me a tamale tomorrow? Tamore. Tamore. Tamore. Tamore. Okay. Can you bring a tamale tomorrow?

Yes. Tell me, Tammy. Can you bring me a tamale? No. No, I missed it right away. Can you bring a tamale? Tell me, Tammy. Can you bring a tamale tomorrow? Tamale.

Tomorrow. Ah, yes. Oh, French 2019, watch out. Going to need next year to just kind of. Ah, yes. Fringe 2019 watch out. Going to need next year to sketch it out a bit more. Who is he? Where is he coming from? That was very inside the actor's studio. I like to show my process.

I think that is the whole title of the piece as well. Tell me, Tammy, can you bring a Tamari Tamara? Tamari Tamara. That's fun. It fits on a poster. Yeah. It's one of those really long titles, like, what is it? Three billboards outside of something else.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like where you have to. You're too short to box with God. Yeah. People like that. The man who walked up a hill and came down a mountain. The Englishman. Because you think if this was the title, then there must be a lot in the script.

You'd be wrong. Yeah. But then everybody has to shorten it just to tamale. Like, oh, we went and saw tamale. But the poster, you're not on the poster. No, no, it's a lot of font. Well, there's a picture of Maury Poets eating a tamale that Tammy Faye Baker has brought. Hey, listener,

do us one solid and Photoshop that poster for us. Yeah. And also say a triumph, Peter Travers. And then have another, then get that done. Then you get me a man

with that tattooed on him. And also have it say have it say a quote by Larry King saying I actually like this better than Cavalia. Oh, good. He really went out on a limb

praising Cavalia like that, saying it was the best thing he'd ever seen. Not just the best show, the best thing he'd ever seen. He was so in the World Series this year, the Los Angeles Dodgers were in the, they won, didn't they? I don't know. Or they came in second. They were in the World Series and it's LA, so.

Oh no, it was the other ones, the other guys. Nashville? No. The Nationals? Athletics. No, they have an N with a star. The Nationals? Athletics. No, they have an N with a star as their logo. Nationals. Yeah, where are they from?

I think it's the Nazis. No, no, no, Dave. And they wear New Balance shoes to identify each other? Don't agree with him. He's wrong. He's wrong. Proud boy. You know those Proud Boys, they only masturbate once a month. What?

Yeah. Do their cycles sync up? I wonder if they're so organized. You know, like, imagine how much you could get done if you only did that once a month. I feel like it would make me so scatterbrained. Are you getting anything done? I'd be like, what was I going to eat today? It was the Houston Astros.

Astros. Astros. They do have a star. They do have a star. Kevin Banner posted a New Yorker cartoon that had their symbol on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. And he was like, what is the joke here? And nobody could figure it out. So LA was playing against them.

Yes. In the World Series, which took me a while to realize because up until recently, they were both in the same league. That's neither here nor there. What a mess. But LA, it's LA. So they have the best seats in the house Are right behind the batter So you see

Celebrities Behind the batter All the time So like Mary Hart From Entertainment Tonight Was there Every game Oh what a gat

Yeah And Larry King is there And you can just see him Sitting there Watching it Thinking Cavalli is better Yeah

Wish I was watching Cavalli. Then he comes up with something. He writes down a note, horse baseball. He's like, maybe is that a thing that could exist? Horse baseball. Can I tweet that? It's one of my things. I'm glad we went back for that. Yeah, absolutely. Kayla?

Yes? What's up? Yeah, what's going on? You're in, I see you on TV all the live long day. Oh, yes. What are you watching? You know, Kayla Lorette live. It's one of the high channels. It's just all my ads.

But you're in commercial. Yeah, I did an ad for eggs this year. I did eggs. I love a generic product that's no brand was no brand oh i yeah it was yeah the client is just someone from like the egg farmers of canada yeah and she left at the end of the day she said said great job tell your friends to eat eggs and i was like what's going on that eggs are i'm not okay i will what is it what do you eat eggs a lot? I do, yeah. Yeah, me too. I love an egg sandwich.

I love a breakfast sandwich. I kind of forget to, and then I'll see an ad, and then I'll be like, oh, yeah, eggs. Oh, well, then good. It's easy to feed a kid an egg. Yeah. It's quantifiable. It's easy to tell somebody to suck an egg. Yeah.

I love that egg on my face. Suck on an egg. It's easy. Oh, do you know, does the egg council ever around Halloween say like eggs for egging? Oh yeah, they should. They should. They'll sell a lot more eggs. Yeah, but they can't.

You know what happened during the egg commercial? Oh, I want to know. She was saying something, something where the woman who was representing eggs was worried that we were going to do something that would upset the dairy farmers. I think it was like shaming yogurt or something. Or no, she didn't want too much butter in the pan. And she made some kind of joke about how this is for the dairy farmers. But then was like, but seriously, we don't want to offend them anyway. It was a real treat

is that a common thing in commercials where the client is there always really yes yeah and they

also I just know from when I worked as a copy guy for a while is the advertising agency there as well yes

so it's the advertising agency and then the client and then there's also a crew of people who are actually making the commercial yes yeah but they keep the clients crew of people who are actually making the commercial. Yes.

Yeah. But they keep the clients kind of away in a better area. So they get, like, different snacks, better snacks. Yeah, and there was, I worked on. Yeah. Frittatas. Can we get more eggs here? Oh, it's a sickening spread at a point.

Like, it was a long shoot. In a warm studio. I worked on a commercial as a PA or whatever for Power Rangers action figures. And the area they had, they had set up a special area for the client that was like... To do kicks? Kicks and punches. punches yeah it was just uh zorgon or whatever his name is who's the guy that they talked to big ghost head oh yeah trevor yeah trevor from space

so cute what was uh so you were in a commercial commercial. Eggs, I did eggs. I did Shopper's Drug Mart. I did Tim Hortons. Maybe I saw that. Yeah, maybe that. And are these, like, because we've talked to a lot of people. Thanks. Yeah. Are they, is it okay kind of work?

Is it like, it's only a couple days, right? They're not forcing you to do it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't arrive in a shipping container. I'm just waiting. Oh, yeah, it's fine work. I know some people can be like, it's because you're selling something for a company,

and sometimes that's not great for your soul or brand. But it's just a couple days of work and it's easy and you make a lot of money and then you can do stuff you like. And then when you're famous

they go back and they show it and they're like, this was Jason Alexander. Well, that's what I'm waiting for. I just keep thinking about me. I'm sitting next to

whoever's hosted, you know, and they're going, what a goof you were in this one. Also, we found your high school yearbook. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, it's going to be because I got, in grade 12, marches to the beat of her own drum. And it was me and a boy who was just actually a drummer. He had his own drum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't great at marching, but. Well, that's where Kayla came in.

Great at marching. He was all drums. You were all marching. Yeah, we were a drum and march band. So in your yearbook, this was, they would give out like, this was like the most likely to kind of thing. That kind of thing, yeah. Did your yearbook do that? Yeah, they're called superlatives.

I didn't, we didn't have that in our yearbook. Maybe you weren't invited. Yeah, I mean, that's also, I mean, we didn't have it, but I also wasn't invited. Yeah. Those two things are true. What do you think you would have been in grade 12? Class clown? No.

You know. Sweetheart. Class sweetheart. Class sweetheart. Class sweetheart. Yeah, yeah. Dave? I was most likely to be famous. Oh. And. Squeak heart. Yeah, yeah. Dave? I was most likely to be famous.

Oh. And. But I was. Still going to break. I mean, you know who came in second? Blake Shelton. Oh, gosh. I know.

And now he. But he wasn't as sexy back then. I also won sexiest. Yeah, yeah. Sexiest boy alive. That's team. Good. Good. I I also won sexiest. Yeah, yeah. Sexiest boy alive. That's team. Good. Good.

I won shrexiest. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was before Shrek even came out. I'll go for a Shrek pun any day of the week. Yeah, absolutely. So, you marched your beat or your own drum. You went into anything else? Yeah.

Just the beat drum? Yeah, that was it. And then I got. How many kids in your class? It was a small-ish school. Maybe it was like 800 kids. Is that small? In the whole school?

Yeah. Yeah, that's small. That's, yeah. So what would have been our graduating class? 150? 150. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Because ours was 250 and ours was 1500. And our school had 2,800 kids. This was what high school to go to? Those are a fun joke we like to play on the show. Lord Beaverbrook. Or Bangerbrook, as they would call it in the north. Oh, I didn't hear that.

But the, yeah, I got the reunions coming up. Really not considering going, but. Yeah. Have you passed your reunion date? Mine passed, yeah, two years ago, I guess. And you didn't go. I didn't go. It's on Vancouver Island.

I live in Toronto. I think it'd be pathetic if I went. If I spent all this money to go to something that was a dinner at a pub. You're like, she's probably wanted to show that was a dinner at a pub. You're like, she's probably wanted to show off in some way or is sad. You're like, I flew in from Toronto

for this and, you know. It was dinner. Turns out I'm marching to the beat of your drums, guys, whatever.

Anyone see my egg spot? You just keep ordering eggs the whole night. I think I'll have a egg. They're like, we have our breakfast menu and it's at 11 o'clock.

Surely you must have some sort of dinner egg dish. Yeah, sure. They're like, can I get a whiskey sour with a little bit of meringue? That's a whack. I ran into someone

from my class and he was saying that, oh, he's friends with someone who's a year ahead of us and they just had their 20 year. I guess our 20 years coming up next year. I wonder what we'll do. And I was like, what the fuck's the matter with you? I'm not going to that shit. It is such a fantasy, but I feel like it was a fantasy of mine, maybe from watching like Romy and Michelle's high school reunion or something.

It was like a fantasy space of mine in high school to like imagine going to your reunion. It was like your potential was all there and it was like oh how will I really show off

in 10 years? And then when it comes up you're like I don't know. It is about revenge. It is. But it's also now like

Pride and ambition. Sure. I can look up anyone from my school if I cared about it. Yes. And I could know what they're doing or, and like I'm, I live in the city where I graduated from. So I, you know, I'm still friends with some of the people. You can see the ones you want.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The. I have five friends. You have five friends? I had six, but one died. Oh, I'm sorry, Dave. Five. Graham, are you on the list of friends? I don't know. You have five friends? I had six, but one died. Oh, I'm sorry, Dave.

Graham, are you on the list of friends? I don't know. I mean. He keeps it secret. Yeah, because we're past the days of MySpace where you could just check in and see if you were in the top friends. See where you ranked. Remember? Yes.

That was a very weird feature. They didn't need to do that. They rank your top friends. That is that you could put a song on your page that would play and you'd have to find it and turn it off if you didn't want to sing it. Which tab is this? Which tab is singing to me? And me being like, how can I look really interesting and putting like an animal collective song

on my space or something. Yes. That's cool. And like, I remember for a while, my top friends, I just picked all people that had the same name. So it was all, you know, Dave, whatever. Dave Edwards, Dave Edwards, Dave Edwards, Dave Edwards, Dave Edwards. I befriended a bunch of, it was very common for men to have pictures of themselves shirtless. So I befriended eight of those.

Eight of those. And they were my top eight. This is a fun collection. Yeah. Still a popular thing online. Guys with their shirts off. Or just pulling the shirt up, you know. And pulling the shorts down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's a scary look I saw recently of someone to avoid. Men who in their profile pictures have this kind of tiny sunglasses on. Like kind of a plastic, small. I just saw it. I was like, that's a bad look. Like from the Matrix kind of thing? Kind of Matrix-y.

Like Richard Belzer? But a bit like athletic, you know? Okay, yeah. That, not being able to see their eyes in a profile picture with no smile. That's bad guy. That is a bad guy. Yeah. Yeah, and the big thing on the dating sites, profile picture it's like no smile that's bad guy that is a bad guy yeah yeah and uh you know the big thing on the dating sites uh that everybody kind of made fun of is uh guys with fish guys with

a fish they caught oh that's good because i'm more interesting than you know your average guy i fish i fish i mean you can talk to me about that but You can start there. I'm willing to talk to you about rock cod. I'm willing to talk to you about bottom feeder fish. I'm willing to talk about salmon. I'm willing to talk about a prestigious fish. What fish are you not willing to talk about? Turban. I'm not willing to talk about flounder.

Please don't ask me about shark. about flounder please don't ask me about shark i watch this uh show sometimes it's on the history channel it's about like it's called mountain men and uh they're not great at being mountain men it's always them kind of screwing up and uh is it a Duck Dynasty kind of situation or is it like? No, these guys are like legitimate, like they're living out in Alaska and they're living away from society. But they're not great. Duck Dynasty is legitimate. They're legitimately terrible people.

But they were richos. These people are stepping away from society. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And making mistakes. You can step away from society and be rich. You can live in France like, you know. Like a Johnny Depp. He was bad.

I could not remember his name. Like Winona Forever's boyfriend. Couldn't remember her last name either. Yeah. Anyways, there was a guy I was watching it last night there was a guy fishing and he was talking about how he needed to get so many fish to survive and then he brought up two and then he quit for the day

and I was like this is why this is why if it's something I would do I'd get a lot of fish. I'd do two. I'd be like, I think I can make that work. Yeah. If we could stretch this into a stew, we'd be just fine.

Enough mayo, I can just have sandwiches all week. Ew. You see a helicopter just bringing in his mayo supplies. I got the fish. I just need you to bring in the bread, the mayo. Knife would be nice. Hey, the mayo. The knife would be nice. Hey, the mayo clinic? Yeah.

Did they know about mayo before they named it? That I always think. Because mayo had to have existed. Or maybe the nickname for mayonnaise. Yeah, I don't think that people had. It wasn't. It's not mayonnaise clinic. Is it?

I don't know that it isn't. Honestly, I don't know that it isn't either. Yeah, because. Mayo must be a guy or a woman. Yeah, that's true. Women can invent condiments. Yeah, but at the time of the. Oh, wait.

Wait. Let's just. Mayo Clinic. Yeah. Do you think the inventor of the condiment mayonnaise. Could be a woman. Started that. Yeah.

Is Julia Mayonnaise. And maybe she had some disease. Probably brought on by mayonnaise consumption. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know Dr. Started that? Yeah. Is Julia mayonnaise? And maybe she had some disease. Probably brought on by mayonnaise consumption. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know Dr. Oetker? Yeah. Yeah. He invented baking soda.

What? Or powder. One of the two. Okay. Okay. So is Dr. Oetker like a, is this just a Canadian company? Because I've never seen it. Yeah.

So what is Dr. Utker? They do frozen pizzas or something? I thought he was like Betty Crocker. He is. Like not a real. I thought he. No, but he's a real guy. I thought he was like Pinty's.

What's Pinty's? Yeah, what's Pinty's? Pinty's is a brand of frozen everything. Okay. Aye. Like chicken fingers and whatnot that five or six years ago began sponsoring Canadian tennis player Eugenie Bouchard. Oh, rough. I'd be so mad about that sponsorship.

And a bunch of curling. We'd wear a little Pinties jacket. Yeah. Part of her contract or his, his, her, her,

that if she has an injury that she has to ice it down with a thing in Pitney's. Yeah, that's true. A handful of chicken fingers. Oh, she's,

she's, she's limping off the court to get her chicken fingers. It is a weird level of Canadian celebrity where you can be sponsored internationally by Nike and within Canada by Pinty. That's ridiculous. Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the meeting where Pinty.

This is like we're getting into the sponsorship game. We're thinking about a NASCAR or a tennis player. A tennis player. Because do they wear logos? They will. No, no. They're not branded. They'll wear the brand of clothing. Right.

Yeah, and unless Pinty's is putting on a little T-shirt. Novak Djokovic just defected from Uniqlo and went over to Lacoste. Oh. Oh, wow. That's higher. That's classier than Uniqlo, but Uniqlo's great. They. Oh, wow. So. That's higher. That's higher. That's classier than Uniqlo.

But Uniqlo's great. They can all pay ya. They can pay ya. Yeah. Yeah, but like. Cha-ching. I'm a sports agent. Oh, yeah?

Who do you represent? Oh, I represent John Elway. Oh, yeah. He's good. El Johnway, the wrestler. Yeah.

Let's see. Pinty. Yeah. I represent. Someone had to good. El Johnway, the wrestler. Yeah. Let's see. Pinty. Yeah. I represent. Someone had to change their name. To Pinty? Yeah. To Pinty.

That was a part of the agreement. He's going to be Pinty. It was Pinty, formerly Jeff Gordon, the race car driver. Now he's Pinty. Let's see. Who do I represent? OJ Simpson. Oh, yes.

He's good. Very good with the pink skin. Had a lot of different things Yeah Yeah yeah Let's see I represent Oh all the big athletes

Yeah yeah yeah Well you named Some of the biggest Jack Nicklaus Jack Nicholson Oh yeah Seve Ballesteros What about that bald guy

Do you represent him Oh yeah Telly Savalas Telly Savalas Yeah I got him that Chupa Chups Deal

Yeah Why doesn't Chupa Chups deal. Yeah. Why doesn't Chupa Chups? That's cute too. Yeah. Why don't they get into more branding? I mean, they've got a good. I think they probably have to be doing, yeah, making enough money to.

You know who their logo was designed by? Who? Salvador Dali. Designed the Chupa Chups logo. Did he do it as like a joke? Was he famous by then or was it just like... Yeah, yeah. And they paid him. Chupa Chups were like, we want you to create a logo.

And he did. And the rest is history. And it's a fine logo. It is a fine logo. It's a sucker company. Yeah. Sucker. Sucker or lollies.

Yeah. They use, I guess it's a Spanish word, chupa. Yeah. Meaning cabra. Chupacabra. To suck. Yeah. What does chupa mean?

Chupa means suck. And chupacabra is the goat sucker. Oh, you're right. That's interesting. Yeah. Huh. You're right. And that's different than the Jersey Devil?

Chupacabra? Yeah, yeah. I mean, they're all the same guy. Which does bring up a question that we've been asking guests on the podcast. Okay. Here it comes. The question we're going to ask you is, and lately this has been on our mind for no reason. Yeah.

But this is going to be preceded by a theme song. And that theme song is going to come up after I tell you the name of the segment. The segment is, What is a Goblin? Now I don't want to hear no more squabbling. Somebody tell me, what is a goblin? A goblin. Who's singing that? That one is by listener Joe B.

Wonderful job, Joe B. If you want to send us a theme song, don't. I don't think we're going to do this segment very much more. That's going to dry out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We talk about ghosts and goblins, and everyone knows what a ghost is. Yeah, a dead person. Yeah, a dead person, a sheet guy.

Sheet guy. What is a goblin. Yeah, a dead person, a sheet guy. Sheet guy. What is a goblin? What's a goblin? Everyone has a different idea of what a goblin is. What is a goblin? I would say goblin falls more for me

under the category of fairy. So I think we're in that space. So it's very different from a ghost. I don't think related to demons. Goblin, not demons. Right. Goblin is not demons. Right. Goblin is not that evil,

I think, necessarily. I think a goblin is, yes, this small guy. I think there's probably different kinds. You've got your house goblin. That's from Harry Potter? Nope.

And... But I would say that a goblin, his main goal is probably just to, he's mischievous. I think he likes to kind of play tricks on humans. But he doesn't kill anyone. He's not a vicious. I don't think he wants anyone to die. What does he look like?

Yeah. A goblin to me is green. He's bald. You've heard that before? He is about knee high. Oh, knee high. Is he bipedal? Yeah, I think he's human.

Humanoid? Humanoid. To me, he's often in a brown pant with kind of a tattered bottom. Okay. Sure. Maybe a vest. Maybe not. I think this is the first time that somebody's described his clothing.

Yeah, yeah. His clothing. The little rope belt. But I would say again, I think that there could be goblins that. I'll say this again. I think there are different kinds of goblins, and I think some goblins could have more of a nice kind of waistcoat, nice outfit. Oh, sure, yeah. And lives in kind of the knob of a tree or something.

And then kind of the dirtier goblin would have these kind of tattered pants. So there could be nicer goblins. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I like it. It's a more diverse answer. Yeah.

I think they, I mean, no one asked me. I think they will rip your throat out, though. Yeah, yeah. Like, they'll play with you a little bit. You think they're more violent. You think they're more magical. I would say that one could turn towards, could be turned to violence. I mean, I know Gollum's not a goblin.

Yeah. I know that his, I know he's not. But he certainly, can we talk to, tell me Tamale, can she tell us about that Gollum's not a goblin? Yeah, absolutely. Tell me, tell me. Is Go's not a goblin? Yeah, absolutely. Tell me, tell me. Is Gollum a goblin? Thank you. Thank you.

Good. Fold that in. I think we have a sequel. Yeah, really nice. I think we're really, we're building a database of goblins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is a goblin?

Really good. IMGB. International Mad Goblin Base. I saved it. IGDB, you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly. Dave, what's going on with you?

Well, we're pre-tabbing a bunch of episodes. This is coming out January 8th. So, hey everyone. I've already jettisoned all my New Year's resolutions. Yeah, I hope you all had a great 12th night. But this is being recorded on, is it the 19th? No, 18th today? Yeah.

Something like that. And I just, I'm fuming. I forgot about this. Oh, no. So. Oh, boy. My daughter decided that for Christmas, she wanted an Elsa doll. Not an Elsa Barbie doll.

This is a character from Frozone. Frozone. Not a Barbie style doll, like a cuddly baby doll Elsa. Baby doll. And there are two on the market. There's a baby type. There's a toddler type. Okay. But there were previous years, I guess, when they had ones that were slight variations.

And so my daughter decided she wanted one with a crown and a hairbrush and a little Olaf. Now, here's a question. Uh-huh. There's between baby type, toddler type. Is it that toddler type has more pieces that she could swallow? Baby type is like a soft doll. Ah, okay. And a toddler type is like a hard plastic.

Oh, cool. Moving arms and legs. Okay. And a toddler type is like a hard plastic moving arms and legs. And so the type that she wanted is not on the market anymore. But you could find it on Amazon for $80. You could find it at a few other places for like $50. But then the shipping from America is super expensive.

And this is a piece of garbage that she will not care about in two weeks. I mean, that's the problem. By the time this episode is out, she won't care about it. But, so I found one place that had it that is a Canadian website, partycity.ca, which I was surprised they had it. You're calling them out. You're calling them out. They had this one version with a hairbrush and a crown. And so I ordered it.

I wasn't sure it was going to arrive before we leave for Christmas. I saw that it was out for delivery this morning. I was so excited. It arrived today. They sent me the wrong thing. Yeah, you opened it like a kid on Christmas. I had just come in the door, so I was also here for this. Yeah, and you were so excited.

And I yelled. I yelled. Yeah, and you were so good. And I yelled. I yelled. You're the wrong one! And I am. This one doesn't have a crown, doesn't have a comb. It's the one I could have just picked it up at Toys R Us down the street. Or Party City. I live down the street from Toys R Us.

I'm not. Frag. The brick and mortar Party City. Yeah, instead of going online. Go pick it up in person. I don't know why Party City Party City Yeah Instead of going online Go pick it up in person I don't know why Party City sells toys I don't know why

Party City exists It seems like the kind of Company that like Oh they're filed for bankruptcy Well they're sending The wrong dolls And now you've called them out So if they were going

Downhill before Yeah Partycity.ca No this is how they've Stayed in business All these years Just sending out And then people talk about

It's like when they Write your name wrong on a Starbucks card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. It's like, get a load of what Party City did. And it's like, get a load of the free advertising. And then, you know, they'll send it to you before you have time. I don't have time to return it and get a different one before Christmas.

Where do they ship out from? Illinois. But they have, they use a border proxy thing. Can you just write the word Elsa across the forehead of this doll? Can you draw on a crown on the hair? Why don't you just start showing her the picture of this one? Be like, oh, this is nice, and you want this one. My plan was if this thing did.

She's not that smart. My plan is if this didn't arrive in time I would go out and I would buy the one that I actually ended up getting. Right. And say, oh, you know what? Santa delivered this one

but I think there's a good one waiting at home. Now there's nothing waiting at home for you. So my plan now is I'm just going to assemble a dumb

little airbrush and a crown and Oh, that's nice. You can find a little Olaf. Yeah. Yeah. Can't be that hard to find.

I can't do anything else. Where's the Toys R Us? Just down the street. Just down the street. Oh, well, then just hop over there. I live between two Toys R Uses. Two. Mm-hmm.

It's handy for giving people directions. Yeah. It's the house between two Toys R Uses. It's on the street that has two side-by-side Toys R Uses. You can't miss it. He's the house in the middle. Yeah. People make fun of Starbucks for being on every corner, but if you really look closely,

there's a Toys R Us on every corner. Every corner. Sick of seeing that giraffe's smug face. They don't have them anymore. What was his name? Jeffrey. Jeffrey? Jeffrey. Jeffrey. Jeffrey.

German. Germ-free. German-free. He's germ-free. He's like urine. Is that what that is? He's sterile. They got rid of him.

They got rid of him. Sterile Daryl. The germ-free Jeffrey. Sterile Daryl. And that was their slogan, as germ-free as piss. So they stepped away from that. So that's one thing that's going on with me. I have nothing I can do.

Fury. But so the other thing, well, one other thing is my, I guess my cousin's daughter, I was going to say niece, but that's not what that is, was baptized yesterday. And I went to it. Is this a full dunk? Yeah. Held her by her ankles. Swallowed her around. They got Spud Webb to dunk this baby

who by the way I represent oh yeah yeah good good getting his name out there well we're trying to get this new

kind of like mesh web potato holder the Spud Webb going it's like the George Foreman grill of

potato holders Spud Webb Spud Webb yeah spud web. Yeah. But you know who they got to sponsor it? Mugsy Boat. Oh, yeah. Unbelievable.

So, yeah, we went to this baptism. And then afterwards, I kept telling people, I was like, hey, good BAP, eh? Strong BAP. That was one heck of a BAP. Is that why everybody lines up like a team and then everybody shakes the minister's hand

good bap good bap cause sometimes they just do a little like a little sprinkle of water yeah and then other ones

they dunk we're the baby I don't belong to that church I bet they don't dunk they probably don't dunk anymore they do I've seen videos of it

yeah well I look I get I take the good with the bad when it comes to the online experience. I look up baby dunking. I'm hoping to see a baby do a slam dunk. Ooh, look up baby swimming. There's some great videos. I'll send you one later today. Can you give us a hint of what we might see?

Oh, God. There's this one video of this little baby. And it's an ad for this program. Eggs. Eggs. It's an ad for this program to teach your baby how, if he gets in the pool, how to turn his body up so his face is above the water and start crying. Oh. So that you'll know that this has happened.

Oh, I see. And the video is very strange because they show the child in action. so that you'll know that this has happened. Oh, I see. And the video is very strange because they show the child in action doing it. How big is this baby? He's able to walk, I guess, toddler. So he's got a hard body. But the video is shot kind of from behind a hedge. They didn't really think about what that was going to feel like. And the child kind of comes out of an open glass door,

walks and he's trying to reach a ball. He's trying to get a ball out of the pool. Tumbles in. Sure. You see all this. Then you see the kid do this. And it's kind of one arm. You really got to crank one arm to flip himself over and then he cries.

But this is, this is handy. Yeah. Anyway, I'll send you this video it's fantastic if you you know what i'll send it to you guys you can put it up on the web yeah yeah yeah this is uh and you're not sure that this was made with the family like it's over a hedge was this not made with the family's permission is this must it had to have been okay but it's just they didn't think about what it was going to look like. What if it wasn't? They're like, okay, the ball is in the pool. We've been told this baby knows how to flip.

Someone's throwing a ball over the opening of the door and running back. Using a rope to open the door. A drone. Good thing he had the training. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've heard that this baby knows how to do the flip. Let's see. And what happens after a baptismal? Do you have coffee?

Lunch? We had a lunch at my parents' house. Nice. No one in our family is baptized. Like, I'm baptized. All my siblings are baptized, but none of our kids are. Because we don't go to church. So that's the big thing.

Does it give you any stress that they're not? No. Well, I wanted them to be. Because I think that my grandparents, or my parents, the kids' grandparents would like it. And Abby's parents. But when I asked about it, they were like, okay, well, come in and do some meetings and talk about raising your child in the church. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. This is a symbolic.

But you can't just, maybe there's got to be a guy online. Party City maybe does cheap. Well, they're out of business. Maybe Graham can get ordained to be able to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No one's doing that. People are only doing it for getting married. Yeah. You know what? I'll get ordained online. I'll dunk both of your kids. That would be so nice. If Margo's cranky now with you. Yeah. You know what? I'll get ordained online. I'll dunk both of your kids. That's so nice.

If Margo's cranky now with you. Yeah. Dump both of those screaming babies. Hey, I got you the wrong doll. Dunk. Yeah. Let's fold this into one awful day. Yeah.

I guess I have not No, that's not true I've definitely been at one But not of somebody that I know Like they did it during Yeah, they just throw it in at a regular service Yeah, they just threw it in at a service Oh, I'd love to see one

Yeah, and it's, you know, everybody's They're all wearing suits And I was like, what's going on? What have I not been told about? Something's going on Maybe in white? Did you go to a, were you at a church where you didn't wear, you didn't dress up? I, you know, I'd wear a sweater.

Wear a sweater. Sure. That's it. You know, with a collared shirt. I don't think I'd put on a suit. You didn't, well, not a suit, but are you not familiar with the phrase church pants? Yeah, I guess I wore my church pants. Yeah. Okay. That's fine that's fine yeah yeah yeah but you know these people were there in full suits and i was like what the hell

was there mafia yeah oh yeah yeah yeah i went to a very uh you know like it was a church if you went there during the week it was a lot of people sitting in pews uh having uh discussions about oh yeah yeah yeah i was just there trying to play my game boy that's how long ago this was you guys who's having discussions about who they got it. Yeah. Yeah. I was just there trying to play my Game Boy. That's how long ago this was, you guys. And yeah, a lot of people discussing hits. Yeah. What were the top hits of the time?

Oh, when Game Boy was popular, the top hits of the day were... Everybody Do the Game Boy. Uh-huh. By C&C Music Factory. Yeah, the Game Boy Rap. By MC Hammer. Hey There, You're a Game Boy. Uh-huh. By C&C Music Factory. Yeah, the Game Boy Rap. By MC Hammer. Hey There, You're a Game Boy. Oh, that's later.

No, no, no. It's the Smash Bros. song. It was a different... It was by Kid... Yeah, Kid K. He was somebody from that time period. Are you thinking of Yafet Koto? No, I don't know what that is.

I couldn't have been. Is that a Star Wars? Well, I think he know what that is. I couldn't have been. Is that a Star Wars? Well, I think it was in an alien. Okay. Or an alien. And definitely Midnight Run. All right. Nice.

Nice. Yafet Koto. It is a Star Wars name. Yeah, it is a very Star Wars sounding name. He's an older actor then? At this point? He was in Midnight Run? Yeah, I guess he's probably Robert De Niro's age. 70-something?

Yeah, but can play 22 in a pinch. He just dyed that hair. So, Graham, what's going on with you? This past weekend, I went to the sleepy surf town of Tofino, British Columbia.

How far is this from where you grew up? Quite a drive. I grew up in Ladysmith, which is at the south end, and Tofino is at the north end. Ladysmith is the birthplace of Pamela Anderson. She was, in your high school, voted most likely to.

Wear a bathing suit. Easy category. I don't know. There was a lot of people in contention for that one. Much to the beat of our own jugs. Thank you. Have you been to Tofino ever? I don't think so.

Maybe as a tiny one. As a tiny one. Have you been? Yeah. Yeah. Nice. It's a very, to get there, it's a very wiggly road. Scary.

Yeah. Like just constant left, right, left, right. Did you drive? I did. Yeah. Cause I. Did you rent? I rented.

I rented an SUV. Did you rent here or on the island? I rented here. Drove onto the ferry. That's expensive. It was. Yeah. It was to do a company like Christmas party.

That's why I was going. Oh, that's fun. So that, that, and then. What kind of company in this sleepy surf town of Tofino? A resort. Okay. Yeah. On. Yeah. On the beach.

And it's very nice there. But the key word there is sleepy. It is a very like, oh boy, are these people. When I showed up to the corporate Christmas party like nobody asked me who i was like i walked in took off my jacket walked up to the bar ordered a drink like nobody was like oh yeah like are you the are you somebody that should be here so i who knows how many people were just off the street hanging out. And then during the course of the weekend, I ordered a pizza at one point. This is how you determine every sleepy town. It's how long a pizza takes to arrive and how much it costs.

First of all, it took so long to arrive. And then when it arrived, it was the wrong pizza. Like Dave's situation. Oh, they said you had the Elsa pizza. They said you had an Elsa pizza with a brush. No! Was it wrong in a way that it was going to poison you? No, but it was wrong in every conceivable way.

Like it was the wrong size. It was covered in meat. It was just the wrong pizza. Like it wasn't like, oh, we was the wrong size. It was covered in meat. It was like it was just the wrong pizza. Like it wasn't like oh we added one wrong thing. So then a call was placed to the pizza place and

yeah you gave us the wrong pizza. And then they said yeah okay we'll fix that. And then an hour goes by. Another call is placed. Oh, yeah, right. Oh, I was. You must have been so hungry at this point.

And then the guy goes, we're really busy tonight. Would you mind a pizza tomorrow? Whoa. What are you, wimpy? What are you, reverse wimpy? pizza tomorrow. Whoa! That's... What are you, wimpy? What are you, reverse wimpy? What is... What a bold thing to say.

Yes. Yeah. So... No! That's what I mean. Did you say yes? I'm leaving the next day. So it was, no, I need this pizza tonight.

That offer is so, what a, where is your mind to offer that to someone? Their delivery special is delivered within 24 hours or your pizza's ready? It's insanity.

Delivered within one business day, actually. So you have to wait for Monday. If they're busy now, what do they do during the actual tourist season? I guess nobody ever gets their pizza. Or they get a pizza, but it's not right. What did you eat?

I waited until that pizza showed up. You awaited them. Yeah. Did you feel kind of stubborn and like, I will have this pizza? Well, it just... I would have given up. burning like i will have this pizza well it just it's i would have given up yeah i mean there was a feeling of like maybe maybe just quit it but it was what else can you get then yeah exactly like pizza is kind of the only thing after a certain hour you're not gonna go to a sandwich

shop in a sleepy town no they closed at four in the afternoon and most of the places were closed for the season. Yeah. So there's only like so many places that are even open for anything. Because the thing there is they do surfing. Surfing is the big thing. It's on the side that's out on the ocean side of the island. Yeah, yeah.

The next place you go to is Japan or whatever. Yeah. Things are still washing up from the tsunami. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Wow. But in the winter, I've seen them advertise storm watching.

Yeah, yeah. I could see you could, I mean, for all storms you want to watch, that is the place. Yeah. It's beautiful. It is. It's a beautiful place, but it's just like I've never been in a place where it's like

so loosey-goosey that it's like, well, we'll take care of you tomorrow. It's the same thing with me. I can't believe that. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah. Nice place. Nice place to visit. Don't know if I want to move there. I mean, moving there, you would at least get an idea of like. You don't. Don't order a pizza.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have groceries in your home. Yeah, make your own pizza on a Saturday night. Go to the pizza place. Drive by the pizza place. See if it's busy. Yeah, that's true.

Get a, you know, maybe get a calzone while you're there. That's a fun. Did they have calzone? They did. Yeah. Did's true. Get a, you know, maybe get a calzone while you're there. That's a fun. Did they have calzone? They did, yeah. Did they throw in a free calzone? They threw in free nothing. Well, except for the pizza,

but then I. But you had already paid for the last one. Yeah, I already paid for it. So, yeah, they didn't throw in anything. Should have pushed him. You think?

I think I was. Should have pushed him? Yeah, down. The delivery guy? Down, yeah Pushed him down You show him Yeah, I guess that's

Yeah, I guess that would have shown him He wasn't It was his mistake He was the guy who delivered the wrong pizza They didn't make the wrong pizza Did someone Someone else got your pizza And wanted a meat pizza

Yeah Got whatever the hell you Could they have been like You know what? You guys actually aren't that far apart Someone else got your pizza and wanted a meat pizza. Yeah. Got whatever the hell you want. Could they have been like, you know what? You guys actually aren't that far apart. Do you guys mind meeting and doing an exchange? It's honestly just a jog. Close. Like that would have been more acceptable than.

Tomorrow. Can we do tomorrow? Yeah. Absolutely. And I probably would have done it, to be honest. Meet a new friend. Yeah. Oh, that's true.

Yeah. Make a new friend. I mean, that's something I never think of doing, but. When you're on a corporate gig, yeah. Oh, yeah. And let me tell you, I didn't make any friends at this corporate gig. Well, you have all that anti-surf material. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I went up there. I said, get your lives together. Yeah. Surf Nazis, I called them. Yeah. Hang ten. Hang yourselves if you're still doing this. All right?

I want a shirt that says hang ten. Hang yourself. Oh, that would be a good shirt. It says hang ten But it just is like Ten surfers in nooses Yeah, hang ten That's a good start

You know, like the lawyer joke Yeah I want a new breed of anti-lawyer jokes That are all anti-surfer jokes Yeah, why don't sharks eat surfers? Actually, they do Yeah, because they taste gnarly What's that joke about? That are all anti-surfers. Yeah. Hey, why don't sharks eat surfers? Actually, they do. Yeah. Because they taste gnarly.

What's that joke about? About why wouldn't a shark eat a lawyer? What's the difference between a shark and a lawyer? A shark wouldn't... You have until I Google it to finish. A shark wouldn't get you thrown in jail. It wouldn't... Lawyers in jail. It wouldn't. What are lawyers?

What are these jokes? What's the difference between a shark? I'm going to go back into it. What's the difference between a shark and a lawyer? Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy. Oh, I get it. They're friends.

Yeah, because lawyers are sharks. Oh, I get it. They're friends. Yeah. Because lawyers are sharks. Speaking of sleepy towns, my parents live on Vancouver's west side. No one under the age of 50 can afford to live there. So on the street next to my parents' house, places are closed on Sunday.

A lot of places close at six. They have a Jamaican patty shop where I went and I bought some Jamaican patties. I had a debit card and the sign said cash and check only. Check. Check is lovely. I love it. It's so old. Writing a check for a Jamaican patty. For some frozen patties.

When you're balancing your check. Oh, right. Those patties I bought. you're balancing your check. Oh, right, those patties I bought. It was a nice night. Oh, no, it's going to bounce. Don't cash this. Move some things around.

Yeah, it's always funny when you order checks from the bank because they always come in these like crazy high denote like you can get 50, you know, 50. What do you need? order checks from the bank because they always come in these like crazy high. You can get 50. What do you need? 100? 200

checks? I guess I need 12 a year. Yeah. I don't use checks for anything. Yeah. But that used to be the way. You go to a grocery store, you'd have to be standing behind somebody who's making out a full check. That's what that little surface is for. I have my checks. That right say that you could get them customized with an expression

yeah but only one of like a dozen yeah and i chose ask me about my grandkids and no one ever has that's lovely i'm gonna get some new checks but, right? Like, if an old person's writing you a check and you have to be like, oh, you have grandkids? And then the old person, no. How dare you? I do, but they're unbaptized. So I don't recognize them as, I will not see them in heaven. Would you know my name? Should we move on to overheards?

One second. Before we do, Dave's going to jam it out a bit. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody requests that at parties. It was a slow dance hit for my generation. Really? A dead kid?

You had the CDs you had. Yeah. All of them had a slow song. That's true. So it was that. It was, you know, the Bryan Adams Robin Hood one. And The End of the Road. Wow.

That's not a good slow dance song either. No, no, no. That's true. Okay, now let's move on to Overheard. One more thing. Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You gotta do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. Dave what it's time for a little bit of business how so well look maybe you're a business. Are you? Or aren't you? I am a business.

Okay. You're a business, like Jay-Z. He's a business, man. Oh, right. He's a business. Okay. Man. The rims, that is.

But say a guy like Jay-Z wants to hire somebody. Yeah, sure. For his whatever venture he's going to do next. Title II. Yeah. Visual title. Title II. Yeah. Visual title. Title flicks. What does a Jay-Z do in such a sitch?

Now, this isn't an endorsement by Jay-Z. No, no, no. Per se. No, but it's, yeah, but also. Look, Jay-Z could do a lot worse than that. Yeah, yeah. If, say, Jay-Z wanted to hire somebody, he would have to go to all the different job boards and post job postings on all of them. And that takes a long time.

Jay-Z would be a fool to do that. Yeah. When you've got something like ZipRecruiter around. Oh, thanks for coming back in 2018, ZipRecruiter. Yeah. We'll do you proud. Now, ZipRecruiter posts your job to over 100 job boards with just

how many clicks? One! That's right. Not 99 clicks, and a click ain't one. Then they actively look for the most qualified candidates and invite them to apply. Yeah. Oh, too bad this candidate is a gold digger. Whoops, wrong artist. Yeah, but

the guy who discovered him, right? Jay-Z, probably through ZipRecruiter. There's no way to verify that that's true. Jay-Z may or may not have discovered Kanye West through ZipRecruiter, but there could have placed an ad looking for a Kanye West

type. Now, I would say there's no wonder 80% of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site in just one day. Oh, boy. In 99 days and that day ain't one. Go keep going back to that one. Yeah. You know that ZipRecruiter is the smartest way to hire. And right now, our listeners and Jay-Z's listeners will open it up to them as well.

They can post jobs on ZipRecruiter for free. That's right, free. Just go to ZipRecruiter.com slash stop. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash stop. And now, back to our regularly scheduled program. L'album noir. I'm Riley Smurl. I'm Sydney McElroy.

And I'm Taylor Smurl. And together, we host a podcast called Still Buffering, where we answer questions like, Why should I not fall asleep first at a slumber party? How do I be fleek? Is it okay to break up with someone using emojis? And sometimes we talk about butts. No, we don't. Nope. Find out the answers to these important questions and many more on Still Buffering,

a sister's guide to teens through the ages. I am a teenager. And I was too. Butts, butts, butts, butts, butts. No. Ben, we've been accused of so many things over the course of making The Greatest Generation, the Star Trek podcast,

that we're a little bit embarrassed to be making. That is right, Adam. But the one accusation that will never stick is the sickening implication that our show is in the pocket of Big Rod. As in Gene Roddenberry. We are not affiliated with Roddenberry, and that is why we are free to subject Star Trek to zingers, twangs, rib jabs, and all different kinds of jokey insults.

That's right, Ben. The Greatest Generation is the people's Star Trek podcast, and Big Rod only wishes we were their puppet. No puppet! No puppet! If you want the untainted opinions of two guys who suffer pangs of shame every time they weigh in on Star Trek in this weirdly public forum, go to MaximumFun.org or search for the greatest generation in your podcatcher. Overheard. Overheard is a segment in which we hear things out there in the world, then we report them back here on the podcast. And we always like to start with our guest.

Now, you said you have two. I have two. Yes. You said you didn't want to say one of them because it wasn't really an overheard. It sounded like something mean with our guest. Now, you said you have two. I have two. Yes. You said you didn't want to say one of them because it wasn't really an overheard. It sounded like something mean that I would say. Well, it's just not something you would say because it was too mean. Okay.

Okay. I'm not too mean. I'm a good amount of mean. You're a lovely amount of mean. I'll start with that one. Okay. Okay. So, this happened. My boyfriend works at this bar where there's a lot of older folk music,

folk musicians who will come in, and it's just amazingly tense. They're kind of folky, hippie people, but they're all kind of angry and passive-aggressive with each other. What a unique bar. What a unique clientele. There's a night where it's all ukulele players. There's a group of men that sing. A bike club, the only thing that unites the clientele of the club I go to is we're all leather daddies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's it called again? Oh, boy. Thanks for the spanks. Sure. Oh, good. Thanks for the spanks Sure Oh good

So there's this one thing that happens on Fridays I like to go watch because there's a lot of kind of weird microaggressions And then like bad folk music Like high tension, low stakes And there's this woman Who is like the leader of the band on the Friday Friday at 530. And her name is...

Our job at the used bookstore? I don't know who goes to a folk bar at 530 on a Friday. The woman who's in charge of it, she's very kind of cruel to everyone. She'll be like, if you can't play it right, then don't play at all, this kind of thing, and then plays bad songs. So one of the guys in her band, his wife was coming in, and this woman is blind. She's coming in,

and Annette, the one who's, it makes a big show of kind of running over to help the woman find a chair. So we're using real names here. I'll throw her in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She runs over, and she's like,

oh, I'll help you, I'll help you. And takes the woman by the hands, and then the woman says, and this is, I overheard just this interaction. The woman says, oh, Annette, nice to see you. And Annette says, oh, you can't see. Wow. Wow. Hmm.

It was really just mean. And she was like, ha ha, like this joke. But it was not nice. Shouldn't the blind person be the one throwing around these jokes? Like, nice to see you.

I mean, I can't really see you. That's a real good icebreaker. See you later, I hope. Yeah, I think there's a miracle.

Yeah. I read on a Trivial Pursuit card that Stevie Wonder during We Are the World said, just point at me when it's my turn to sing. Great. See? Right? That's fun. Oh, the fun you can have if you're

blind. Yeah. But you shouldn't do it to a two-wheeled blind person. No. Absolutely. No. Okay, so that's just one I just... Do you want to do another one now or do you want to go around? You pick. We'll go around. Let's go around. I can't wait for the other one. I guess it's me.

Let's see. What have we talked about jamaican penny shop okay so um uh are you familiar with the i guess the it's the phrase is this is what a feminist looks like yes yeah i'm familiar yeah every time i look in the mirror. Is that the phrase? Are there other uses of it? Is there, this is what a blank looks like? No, that's the famous one. This is what a feminist looks like. Sure, there's some goofier ones online. Because I saw. Stay calm and be a feminist.

Sure. I was at the mall. Yeah. I go to a mall every week. It's come out. A mall. Yeah. I go to a mall every week. It's come out. A mall gloomy. I didn't see it coming. Walked right into

his potato web. I don't know is this how you do the podcast. I'm just getting feedback in my earphones. And I walked past Swimco.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Swimco. They make bathing suits. Bathing suits. Yeah. And they had a t-shirt that said, this is what a mermaid looks like. Yeah.

Swimco is making t-shirts now, too? Wet t-shirts, I guess. Oh, yeah. Right. Wet t-shirts. It's weird.-shirts now, too? Wet t-shirts, I guess. Oh, yeah. Right. Wet t-shirts. It's weird. That's stupid. It is weird that there's a store that just sells bathing suits.

365. Yeah. Also, a mermaid is... You'd know one if you saw one. And it'd be in the water. So, you're wearing this t-shirt in the water? Yeah. It's a wet t-shirt.

You're going to have some of these Jen Aniston nipples underneath? Fake. Fake. Were they like a silicone? No, they were just a candy corn. Little jubes. She does a scene, right? She's allowed to eat them.

I'd be worried about them Like Going lopsided Yeah yeah Or one just falling off Mid Mid applause break Cause there were so many On that show

That show Would get some Solid applause breaks Oh god Watch their bloopers It's A lot of homophobia Yeah

Yeah that's true Yeah Um The uh They never had like I guess because it was an ensemble, they never had a character who got like an applause break for entering a scene, did they? No, I guess not. Yeah, yeah.

Probably that time that Joey put all of Chandler's clothes on. I bet. That's the best time. Yeah, it was a lovely time. Yeah, it was a lovely time on Friends. Yeah, it's a good app. Because Ross had a thing. He didn't want everyone to be late. And everyone was doing everything to be late.

Oh, yeah. Very good one. Yeah. And they used the phrase going commando a lot in that episode, too. I don't think that I had heard that phrase before that. And you were a commando in the army. I was. And so everything we wore was going commando.

Were you wearing panties? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it's important to be comfortable when you're out on the battlefield. You've got to have a good range of movement. Panties are the best thing for it. Yeah, panties help you move. That should be odd. Do panties just ever do a commercial just to raise awareness?

Well, I mean those. The undies. Those. No, I mean just in general, like the egg council. Panties. You wearing them still? Zooey Deschanel doing cotton commercials. You're like yeah

that's what I'm thinking about I'm thinking about her and them cat and panties this is the most we've said that word I think it's a word

that makes people uncomfortable I think you're right panties moist yeah yeah Israel Palestine

sure good head wobble on that by the way Thanks Graham? Yes You're what a mermaid looks like Thank you This was a conversation

This lady was talking so loud I had earbuds and I was listening to music I just wanted to be alone on the bus and I could hear her. So I was like, here we go, brother. And, uh,

she was, uh, talking to her boyfriend. Wasn't wearing deodorant. Uh, he probably thought it had a aluminum. And, uh,

she was going on and on about the differences between, uh between a hairstylist and a barbershop. And the guy, I don't think the guy was listening because he was staring off into the distance, as was I, but I was listening. Anyways, when he tuned back in, he said, barbershops just for boys, right? I mean, that sort of is the... It's kind of the... Simple age. Yeah.

The fact that I don't go to a barbershop, I feel a little bit like a girly girl. Yeah. When you go to the hair salon, I guess it is. I say hairdresser. I think that's the... That's the like... That's as good as it gets for me. And plus they do put a little bit of Thousand Island on there.

I think the one, the one or two times that I actually went to a barbershop, I felt very uncomfortable. It's very masculine. I don't want to be in that masculine space. Yeah. It's for boys. They probably make you look at. Titty mags? Yeah.

Titty mags. Yeah. That's the name of the titty mag? Yeah, Krusty. Yeah, Krusty. Y'all got copies of Krusty in here? My friends used to have copies of Krusty in the woods. Oh, boy.

Now, Kayla, you had another opener. Okay, yes. I'll tell them quickly. I was having pho, or pho. No one can say one of them without saying the other. I was having pho. You want to make sure people know that you're aware. Yeah.

Is there another thing where these people were just so loud, it just shut down the... Yeah. No. No, they're hiding in the trees. There ready to ambush yet right it's from the war i'm not i'm allowed to say that because i i'm a commando yeah so it was so like i couldn't even have a conversation because I had to listen to these two guys. But I'm happy I did because they were very loudly planning a DJ party that they were both going to DJ at. And it was just listening to their planning, which involved making a list of hot girls to invite.

What songs were they going to start with? what songs are they going to start with? But it was clear that one of the guys had DJed a few times before and was very much telling the other guy what to do and how he's going to be a DJ. Told at one point that he was going to do his set at 7 p.m., which was very disrespectful to this other guy who seemed overwhelmed by the whole thing. And at one point, this is one effort that I loved,

the younger DJ, less experienced DJ, was like, oh, because he was going to be hosting it at his house. And so he was just asking if I had to set up his house

for the DJ party. And he said, well, I've got that carpet in the living room. Should I move it? Because people are going to dance there. More experienced DJ says,

don't worry about it. We'll cover it in plastic bags. How old were these people? 30. Oh, I got it covered. That confidence. And what a horrible idea.

The idea of people dancing with drinks on a carpet that's covered in plastic bags. Squishy. Sliding around. So sliding. So dangerous. Move the rug. Yeah. I mean, the plastic bags get wet instantly.

And people spilling drinks all over the place. You're puncturing them with your heels. Don't worry. I've got a horrible solution. No, no. I've done this before. You mean like a tarp? Would a tarp work horrible solution. No, no, I've done this before. You mean like a tarp? Would a tarp work?

No. No, no, no. Stitch together several plastic bags. Like garbage bags? No, from the store. Just like from the grocery store? Look, I'm trying to put together the worst plan ever. DJ party.

I'm inviting hot chicks. Come over at 7. Yeah, shit starts popping off at 7 p.m. We start. Tears in heaven. Boom. Boom. Oh, Lord.

Well, I'd like to go to that party. Yeah. I was just so trying to get any kind of detail to Google or find. Oh, yeah. I was like, I will go. You were like Googling plastic bag. I was like just trying to get any kind of detail to Google or find. Oh, yeah. I was like, I will go. You were like Googling plastic bag. I was like just trying to write down everything they said. I was like, I must, I want to go or at least walk by.

Yeah, go on Facebook and look up events like Kevin's DJ party. Here's a question. Was it a DJ party just featuring DJs or was this like a party for DJs? Featuring these two DJs. These two DJs. It was going to be one guy's first time DJing at his own house. Oh, God. At 7 p.m.

And I'll go on at like 1 in the morning. So you DJ for six hours. Oh, boy. And I'll bring it home from 1 to 2. Asshole. Now, we also have overheards sent in to us from people around the world. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Karen C. from North Carolina.

I was out for an evening stroll. Sounds nice. Yeah. Good point, yeah. When I saw two ladies walking their dogs. One of the dogs started baying, howling for the first time, or for what was presumably the first time. And the lady walking him excitedly said, oh, my God, I think he just became a man. Aw.

That's sweet. Ow. Yeah. Aw, you're my little man. Oh, what're my little man. Oh, what a lovely scene. Is it only grown-up dogs that bay or howl? I don't know.

I don't know either. Our dog's done it three times in his life, and it's the weirdest. It's the weirdest, but it's also pretty cute because they make this little poker. It's like when they hear a fire truck. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Round mouth. Oh, I'm sure puppies poker? Yeah. It's like when they hear a fire truck. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Round mouth. Oh, no. I'm sure puppies can do it. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And when puppies do it, watch out. It's so cute. Oh, yeah. This next one comes from Zoe P. in Pinellas Park, Florida. In brackets, it is not a desirable area. Florida, in brackets, it is not a desirable area. I was getting my oil changed this afternoon and overheard some of the employees at the dealership talking.

The only woman in the group started talking very loudly. She said, my boyfriend has an abnormal sternum, so his chest is all caved in. I said to him, I wonder if I can get drunk on all the alcohol I can pour inside your chest. And then a minute later, she said, one time I tried eating cereal out of his chest. So that is turning a negative into a positive. Right? You got a crazy caved in chest. I've tried it.

What's the name of that condition? Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it. I've tried it. What's the name of that condition? Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it. You know, that scene where Kirk from Gilmore Girls took his shirt off. Oh, did he have? He's got one of those.

He had a sunken. Now, what is that called? I try to, I definitely, and I've had that thought where I was like, I would try to put something in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's, yeah. Kind of fun. You could if you were trying to sneak something into a stadium or something. Like a little Mickey. Yeah. And there's, yeah. Kind of fun. You could if you were trying to sneak something into a stadium or something. Like a little Mickey.

Yeah. And then you put that in the hole and then you get fake skin. You cover it. Like leather. Pectus. Yeah, leather. Right, you're right. Excavate them.

Pectus excavate them. Oh, no, that's from Harry Potter. That's a spell that you do. Oh, no, that's from Harry Potter. That's a spell that you do. Here's a list of celebrities who have it. DJ Qualls? Let me... Oh, okay.

That's my bet, is DJ Qualls. This is 17 Celebrities with Pectus Excavatum from Pectusexcavatumfix.com. And for some reason, the link says 20, but anyway. It says 17. Jeff Goldblum. Oh. UFC fighter Robert Drysdale. The celebrity designation has dropped off.

The word slipped in quick. Tori Spelling. Huh? Yeah, she looks like she would. Classic. Oh, Joaquin Phoenix. Oh, yeah. Neil Patrick Harris. Yeah. Paula Abdul. she would um classic oh uh joaquin phoenix uh yeah neil patrick harris yeah paula abdul nick lachey yeah steve odekirk okay from uh the kung fu movie oh yeah billy zane yeah

Billy Zane Yeah Kirk from From Gilmore Girls Brendan Fraser Who are Chris Evans Oh Chris Evans That's a surprise

Cause he's so So He's so He's so peck heavy Maybe some of them Have Had it Altered

I don't know Well that website What was it Something fixed There must be a way To get rid of it Hide it Yeah

Although this other website Throw pillow Kellogg's.com, was about 20 celebrities we'd like to eat cereal out of their chest. Kellogg's is doing listicles? Yeah. Boy, I'd sure like to eat some Froot Loops out of Tori's bellings chest. It was only her and Paula Abdul were the only women on the list? Mm-hmm. All right.

Because, you know, boobs. It's harder to see because boobs. Right. You can't pass those boobs. Right. But you know what? I wish them all the best. All of the people on that list, I wish them all the best.

Whether they like it or don't, want to have it fixed, don't want to have it fixed. You are beautiful. It's up to you. You are beautiful. But if you do have it, let somebody eat something out of it. Yeah. Put it on the net so I can lay out, you know, when women put the sushi on their bodies. Yeah.

Just chips and dips. Tits and dips. Dip pocket. A dip pocket. Okay, go on. All right. Okay. This last one comes from Alex A., Parts Unknown.

This is an overheard coworker number one. Tits and dips. Oh, boy. Here it comes. Tits and dips. Yeah. And twinkle pits. And twinkle.

Oh, yeah. Well, I'm glad we stopped for that. You were saying? This is an overheard. Coworker number one, I just don't like Beyonce. Coworker number two, whispering,

I don't think you're allowed to say that. That's true. It is true. If you say it, you're boy, oh boy, are you in for some sort of argument? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like her.

I just don't think she was pregnant. Yeah, she's that weird. Oh, you got to see it. The stomach folds. In a weird. In a weird way. Huh. I mean.

It's possible. Why not everything in that crazy Holly weird, you know? Yeah. I've never heard that. That's good. That's good, right? Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, go to pectusexcavatumfix.com.

Pectus Excavatum Flix. It's the one-stop shop for all your celebrity films. Peck this Excavatum Flix and chill. Call us at 1-844-779-7631. That is one. Ugh. Vipod one. Like these people have.

Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Jackie in Chicago. This is an overheard. I work for Kids Magazine, so I'm always hearing serious conversations about delightful topics. And the other day, my boss walked up to a fellow employee and said, look, we really need to talk about pandas.

I love you. Goodbye. Very cute. I really worked up when I heard kids magazine. A lot of these 10 facts about pandas are bullshit, and you know it. Look, every article you've handed in in the past two months has been about pandas. We need to scale it back.

You know what? I know that I told you you're only supposed to write about animals to start with P, but there's parrots, there's parakeets. We have 26 employees. Piranhas. Each of them does one letter in every issue. This company being structured in this childlike way. You don't just have to talk about animals. You can talk about whatever.

Pear-oo-boo. You know? It's a good band. Kids love it. Piper Pear-oo-boo. You can talk about it. Absolutely. Kids want to see Coyote Ugly.

Prawns. Yeah. Perry Farrell. Here's your next phone call hi stop podcasting yourself this is will in prescott arizona um i just got back from a wedding in las vegas um and i have a overheard from that experience uh we were at the top of the stratosphere looking at the views, and a lady comes up to me and my two friends and says, Hey, fuckfaces, let me take your picture. Cool. Yeah, the direct approach.

I mean, you're going to let her take your picture. Yeah, absolutely. They know our secret nickname for each other. Everyone's so free and loose in Vegas. Oh. Yeah. Just say whatever, you know. I remember when it was like in the,

when I was a teenager, they were trying to market Vegas to families. Yeah, I went when I was 12. Yeah. Yeah, I went when I was like 50 and it was. Was there an activity for you? I had a caricature done. Oh, that's fun.

But it wasn't like, this was maybe before they even had Cirque du Soleil stuff. I went to the second, when they had a second city there. I went and saw the show. And then my grandfather had the cast sign a t-shirt for me. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I think one of the things is, we'll see you here one day. And I was like, later, I was like, it's a bit sad to go to Second City in Las Vegas.

I aim a little higher. Do you still have that t-shirt? No. Ah. I don't know where it is. Somebody picked it up from a Goodwill. I saw Second City in Vegas, too. Mm-hmm. And, uh.

It's weird. They have a weird like I think do you work with Second City? I have in the past. Is there like a like who's writing these shows? Is it coming from

corporate office? I think they have like all these archive scenes that are written by casts that could span all this time. So sometimes they're just pulling out weird. The only thing I remember about it was Don Imus, the radio host, had gotten in trouble for using the phrase nappy hoes.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Remember the sketch about this? In the sketch, it was like in Adam Sandler's voice, someone was saying, nappy ho, nappy, nappy ho. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

I can't be a stomachache. Yeah, like it's so unfortunate in so many ways. So many ways. It's unfortunate that I had to sing it. Yeah, yeah. It will change my voice. On that note, fuckfaces, here's your final overheard.

This is James in Washington, D.C. I'm walking by the store, overheard these two guys talking. One of them is complaining about their roommate not paying their rent. And then the other guy chimes in. He's like, bro, bro, I know. I know it's the worst.

He drinks my muscle milk. He looked very, very concerned about this. Yeah. That's not cheap. It's hard to milk. Yeah. You ever tried to milk your own muscles? Hurts.

Drop at a time. I just want to say my favorite part of that phone call was that he laughed at the very beginning. Let's just hear the beginning again. This is James. Yeah. But also we were laughing, so it sounded like he just came in really furious towards his story anyway guys uh muscle melt well you complain about your roommate not paying his rent by roommate that's your one job yeah yeah yeah you no longer have that roommate is but what do you have to do?

I guess change the locks and make sure that the roommate that is paying the rent is... Do you think that would be a good name for a hair salon? Changing locks? Oh! Change the locks. Change the locks. Change the locks. That's pretty good.

Change the locks is so scary, though. You're only doing that if... Oh, what about locksmith? That's a pretty. But the thing would be they only accept your, you only pay in change. Wait a minute. Why? Why would you only pay in change?

Because it's called change the locks. Oh, I was going off of locksmith. Oh, I just want to make it fit into locksmith. Okay. Yeah. No, I'm saying we can't do locksmith because I already have this great change. Oh, I understand. Yeah.

You pay in a coin star. Yeah. And they use little coin rollers to roll your hair. Yeah, yeah. Then it's a flow bee that it's all computerized. You go in, it's like a laundromat for hair. Yeah, we've walked away from the change to lock idea. Now we're just focusing on the change part.

You wouldn't expect that. Yeah. Yeah. And locks is spelled with an X like cured salmon. Well, now it doesn't make any sense anymore. Now we're confusing. Get a schmear.

Get a haircut. Cured salmon? Smoked salmon. Smoked. Raw. Raw salmon? I don't know. I don't care for it.

I have never, never had it. Don't know. Can't have it. I can't have it. Can't. Won't. Kayla. That brings us to the end of the show. care for it. I have never, never had it. Don't know. Can't have it. I can't have it. Can't. Won't. Kayla.

That brings us to the end of the show. This is it. What a delight. Thank you for being our guest. Thanks for having me. Brined salmon. Brined salmon. Aye.

Salty. Everything on that. It's all brined. Capers. The capers are brined. The cream cheese. Cream cheese is brined. Capers, the capers are brined. The cream cheese is brined. Oh,

so salty. I think I'd go for it. Why not? Little wrinkly lips. Now this comes out, oh, we're in January already. Do you have anything upcoming?

Hope I make it, I guess. Yeah, if you don't make it to this episode. Don't put it out. No, put it out. Yeah, I think you would I guess. Yeah, if you don't make it to this episode. Don't put it out. No, put it out. Yeah, I think you

would want that. Then place yours in heaven. Then it all makes sense. If I die. I think nothing coming up.

All the cycles of the commercials are going to be done. That's good. Do a restart. But you want them to re-air so you can maybe get another

paycheck. Get the residuals. Eggs are timeless. It's true. Although, don't leave them out all day. So is that what you want to to re-air so you can maybe get another paycheck. Get the residuals, yeah. Eggs are timeless. It's true. This is true. Although, you know, don't leave them out all day. So is that what you want to plug? Just eggs?

God, no. Oh, people can come see you at Second City in Vegas. In Vegas. I'll be there. Signing shirts. Yeah. No. I don't know.

Just follow the social media. Yeah. Where are you on social? Follow your dreams. At Kayla Lorette. That's Twitter. Yeah. And that's Instagram.

There you go. That's all you need. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you'll be around on the cybersphere. I might try to leave it. Oh, really? Oh, really?

Yeah. Make a big deal about it if you do. I'm going to tell everyone so that when I come back, everybody can feel good about how weak I am. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Try and leave it and then come crawling back. Well, thank you for being our guest. Thank you.

And you out there, if you want to follow us online, go to atstoppodcasting on Twitter. Go to our Facebook page. Go to Reddit if you want. Go to iTunes. Leave a review. Why not? That's a nice take that your New Year's resolution. Yeah. Tell a friend.

And you know yeah. Thanks for listening everybody and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Aww. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.