Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 521 - Kyle Kinane

Episode Date: March 12, 2018

Comedian Kyle Kinane returns to talk RC cars, band photos, and donating organs.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 521 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man that looks good in any type of cardigan. Any color as long as it's a fall. Because he's not a summer. He's not a summer. He's a fall. Mr. Dave Shumka. What are the...

Like if I was wearing a, you know, like an Easter suit color, like if I was wearing a pastel cardigan, you'd say, well, why would I be wearing, like, I'm a fall, because I wear cardigans in the fall and the winter. Yeah. But you're not like, it would be very weird if you showed up at the door in like a white, like a bright white cardigan. Like a white cable knit sweater. You're no Ricardo Montalbanalban well i'm trying shimka went off fantasy island lately what a floral prince i think i would like a white like a white uh sweatshirt sure white sweatshirt is but i feel like a white cardigan is like a real, like I'm doubling down on my winter look. I mean, unless it has like a big, you know, college letter on it.

Oh, yeah, yeah. What did you letter in? Cheering. Good for you. Not like cheerleading. It was just like I went to the games and I, you know. Big fan of being a big fan. Yeah.

He was the biggest fan. That voice you hear, you may recognize a favorite guest of ours, return guest to the podcast, comedian Kyle Kinane is our guest. Hi, guys. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to talk before you introduced me, but you were talking about fun sweater colors. Jump right in. I was like, I like fun sweater colors.

You don't strike me as somebody who would wear a cardigan. Do you wear a cardigan ever? I got, I got, I surprisingly have a lot of clothes because the option, I always love the option of like, today I just want to do something different. I'm sick of being the guy, like this guy. I'm tired of being this guy. And summertime, like, so I'm starting, I got, I'm starting to collect Hawaiian shirts. That's a guy. Very few buttons are used.

Yeah, right? Yeah, I don't want to be like ska bass player Hawaiian shirt guy. I want to be like creepy Hawaiian shirt guy. Like a lot of chest hair. Rings, I'm trying to. Rings. What type of shorts are we talking about? Cutoffs or are we uh

i usually wear them with jeans i still kind of like it as like a hawaiian shirt with jeans hawaiian shirt you like like like uh those shoes that have the toes oh yeah i was going horaches i'm like where you could see your toes no i kind of like it like that's just my warm weather shirt but i'm still out there i want to i think my ideal look is the guy who gets Indiana Jones out of the Amazon in the beginning. Oh, yeah. Like the guy who has the pet snake Reggie. Yeah, spanning himself with his hat. Yeah, that's my fashion icon is the guy who flies the plane out of the jungle.

Hawaiian shirt, but for business from the waist down, ready to get things done. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I like that a lot. That's why you put a lot of thought into that look. Yeah, it's not total vacation, dude, but it's like, this guy's laid back. Yeah. But he's still got his legs covered.

And thank God for that. Yeah, you got it. Do you want to get to know us? Oh, absolutely. Get to know us oh absolutely now kyle kyle hello it's so nice to have you back yeah um you were saying just before we started recording the podcast that you have a new hobby yes and you started talking about it we were like shut up yeah we want to hear about this on the show. Okay. Tell us all about it. I'm, uh, I'm, uh, I don't know if it's like a midlife crisis thing. Let me, let me answer your inquiry with a question.

Here we go. Is there anything that you're finding yourselves? I mean, I'm 41. Yeah. Don't know ages here. You don't have to tell if you're old. We're, we're mid to late 30s're where are mid to late 30s yeah mid to late 30s 1980 but we have birthdays that opposite ends of the year oh which then oh yeah yeah

i was like if it's at the opposite ends then it would still be pretty close together because somebody would be in december and somebody would be in january but i just think a little differently uh i don't know if it's like a midlife crisis slash the world is a calamitous place. And, or also I, I made coffee in the household and I made it real strong and I went into the garage to take it with stuff. I forgot that a friend bought me an RC car. I'm like, oh, I thought this thing's, I forgot. This thing's pretty fun. Yeah.

And I was real, real jacked up on coffee and driving. And within, within a week I had a different RC car that I bought and parts strewn about the place. So you're, oh wow. I was in China doing comedy and I'm like, oh, but it's cheaper over here. So I like carton all rc car parts around i don't know what it is that like this is the this is the tiny world i can be in charge yeah now you building these now you remember you were gonna ask answer our question with a question well have you oh that's true yeah

have you found yourself completely diving back into something? I mean, it's kind of like a midlife crisis thing, except not on an epic scale. It's not like I need a Corvette and a young girlfriend, but I see all the skateboards from when I was younger and BMX bikes are now people getting them as like, nobody's getting Corvettes. Oh yeah. I'm getting a PK Ripper. You want to get something from your youth that you want to. I'm going to get a Powell Peralta skateboard just to have it and look at it because I have that much disposable income to not get a sweet vet. Right.

Yeah. A cool BMX bike. The thing you couldn't get when you were 13. Yeah, I mean, all the sugary cereals that I want. You have a library of cereals? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got the Criterion collection. What's the idea that your kitchen looks like a study?

It's just bookcases full of the worst cereal. I've got a nice fireplace in my kitchen that I sit and I read. Oh, riboflavin. Looking through the shelves. Like you're looking at the book bottom. Which volume today? Yeah, I feel like. How does Cheerios have more sugar than corn pops?

Yeah. I think that's, I think that's mine is going, is also there's something that I've done recently is I've gone back and watched movies that I loved as a kid, like especially obscure. Ooh, what's holding up.

Um, or what's not holding up., or what's not holding up? Oh, what's not holding up? Ah, cool runnings. Instead of the Olympics, you watch cool runnings?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was my contribution to the Olympiad. Um, yeah, I, uh,

I'm trying to think of what else. Men at work didn't hold up very well. Oh. Is that the Estevez Brothers? Yes, the Estevez Brothers. Or the Sheen Brothers. Yeah, I think, well, original name was Estevez, correct? Yeah.

And an oddly reggae-themed Estevez Brother film where they're garbage men who stumble upon a plot to dispose of toxic waste. Remember when toxic waste was a big thing? Yes. Yeah. Always the drums.

I think, I think that, I think, I think they just think, I think the movie industry got a good deal on 50 gallon drums. Yeah.

We got to put these in every movie. There's going to be stacks of these. If you look at Rambo, he's always shooting a flaming arrow into that to blow him up.

It was great in video games, too. It was like, oh, there's a drum over here. Shoot it, it'll blow up. What's Donkey Kong throwing if he can't throw the barrels? Yeah, and it was a good, it always carried like an environmental kind of message, too. Like, it would be somebody dumping it in the lake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could fit exactly

one human body in them. I learned that from several movies. How much is a human body? 50 gallons. That's exactly 50. In a liquid, 50 gallons is what a human body is. Dave, do you have something from your... No, I haven't done it.

I have no disposable income because I have kids. This guy wouldn't have them kids. They'd have all that toy money he could have had. But like, yeah, no, I definitely anytime I need to get sound equipment, I go to the Long and McQuaid where they have microphones, but they also have

all the guitars I saw when I was a kid and I was like, you know what? $1,200 was the most money in the world back then, but I could get a $1,200 guitar. I did that. I did that with a Gibson Explorer. What's that? What's the?

It's like the most. It's got the pointiest one. Yeah, it's real. Oh, cool. It's not over. Like, I worked at a music store for a while, and we would get the Dimebag Daryl guitars. And here's a joke I take shit for.

I was like, man, I can't believe that guy who wanted us to call him dine bag didn't live a long fulfilling life who gives you shit for that rabid pantera fan oh sure yeah his death was like the most weird but the joke's funny that his name's die back what were you gonna be oldbag? No, I don't think that was in your future. Now, how long did you work at this music store for? I lasted about five months because it was one of the worst jobs. It was my worst day job I ever had. But we would get the Dimebag Daryl guitars, which were so pointy.

And so it looked like a piece of broken glass. But if it was in the case, even just a millimeter off, and you close the case, you just hear everything inside rip. It would just destroy the inside of the case. So funny. You just hear that sound. That's $400 for a new case from the distributor. Oh, geez.

It's not like you can get a regular one to fit it. It was like all this jagged spider web, nine battle axes folded on each other. Now, did you play in bands or anything like that? Yeah, I was in punk rock and roll bands. Oh, punk rock and roll. Which means I was not good at guitar. Oh, wow, but you had showmanship. Yeah, well, yeah, I had a lot of pizzazz.

What were the names of these outfits? Oh, boy. The band I liked being in the most was all my buddies. We were called the Grand Marquise after the car because I was driving one at the time, and the singer and other guitar players were like, we should be called the Grand Marquise. And we could never decide on how to spell it because it's a French word and it's singular. Oh, right, yeah.

But bands sound cool when it's plural, like the Ramones or the Sex Pistols. So we want to be plural, but then do we put an apostrophe on it? How do you spell it? Q-U-I-S? Well, we never released anything, so we spelled it that way. But how do you spell the car? Yeah, Grand and then M-A-R-Q-U-i-s the grand marquee yeah okay so the plural would be yeah

that's why we never made shirts because i'm soon like i'll make shirts and we meet about how to spell it and we're like no it looks stupid if we spell it m-a-r-q-u-e-e-s that looks dumb maybe if you put an apostrophe like Like, you know, French people don't have apostrophes. Like, all right, fuck it. I just never had merch. Yeah, it also sounds a bit like a doo-wop outfit. Yeah, that's what I thought. It was kind of classy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of a fun thing. And you did gigs? Yeah, yeah. I played around the Chicagoland area. What was the motto? It's not talent, but at least it's entertainment. Ha-ha!

Is it a motto I've held? It's still going. I'm still holding on to that one. What guitar did you get, Dave? Did you get one for $1,200? No, no, no, no. These are the most recent guitars I've bought, and they're like 15, 20 years old.

No. Yeah. Gibson's going out of business. What? Why? I think so. I don't know. Too many people just noodling around in the store.

It's not enough buying. The monk-like patience that people that work at Guitar Center must have to just sit in there and just, as soon as it opens, just a dozen 13-year-olds. Cocking off on every instrument. Just this idea of this kind of centering that I can't master. Well, they have like certain, it changed since I was a kid. Because when I was a kid, it was just like a free-for-all yeah now they've updated the stories where they have like a room with an amp oh okay so like you you take your turn when this guy's done oh guitar center still just

yeah because guitar center is the only like thunderdome of out of tune jerking off because the people don't just pick up a flute and jam. Do they play like, I guess maybe they would. Yeah, maybe you would. It's not flute center. But you know, at a music store, is guitar the only one that people pick up and play around? Drums, maybe? You would go tap the cymbal a little bit.

Like kicking the tires on a car. Yeah. Boom, boom, bum, bum. Alright, I think this one's good. These sound how they're supposed to sound. Maybe pick up a rain stick and turn it upside down.

You gotta. But yeah, there's no... You don't hear somebody just testing out trombone or whatever. I used to play with the theremins when I was there. I wound up buying a theremin. Oh, yeah. That's been on.

Just because I can't play guitar. I have five of them. You have five guitars? Everything I have. Every time I'm like, you know what would make you a better guitar player? If you upgraded that equipment. Yeah. That's it.

You need to be a real shredder, Kyle. You need a better guitar. Yeah. That never worked you need to be a real shredder, Kyle. You need a better guitar. Yeah. That never worked. I needed to practice. Like all of Jimi Hendrix's guitars are in museums now. He was playing museum quality guitars. Yeah.

You need something that's going to qualify for that once I move on. And like, do you ever play them or are they just are they display purposes only no I keep them hidden I don't want somebody to be like oh you play guitar because I don't have to answer honestly like not really

I want to keep that keep that hidden it's like the RC cars let's get back to these RC cars yeah so they're all my things I can't brag about

like it's not cool hobbies it's not like oh I've taken up painting oh how astute and mature I'm like these cars go real fast and then if you change the batteries and get LiPo batteries and a brushless motor, they can go up to 70 miles an hour, but if it goes over 70 miles

an hour, you got to be careful, because if you've got the anodized parts, and those will bend, and it won't drive straight later. I'm like, I don't know who to talk about this with. Oh, so these are high-performance cars. Oh, yeah. You're not just crashing them. You don't want to crash them. Well, so these are, these are high performance cars. Oh yeah. You're not just crashing them. You don't want to crash them. Well, they're pretty, well, that's the thing.

I remember when I was a kid, my buddy having like a grasshopper buggy and it would be five minutes of driving and then two weeks of him fixing it. Right. And now they're virtually indestructible. Oh really? That's why they're awesome. Now they're like, people are just driving them off roofs. They're just like, they're like, this is great.

And if it breaks, then I got something to tinker with that has no bearing on the world. And I have no concerns about nuclear war or everything else going on. I'm like, well, I got to change out the AR. I'm on my car. I'm going to sit here with some music playing. And I'm at my little hobby and do that. Cause my other hobbies, mountain biking.

And when that doesn't go well, I get hurt real bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Much less, uh, accident,

you know, injury prone. So like, uh, I don't know any, I don't know anything about these RC cars. I think RC stands for Royal crown. Really cool. Cool. Um um but like uh when you're you have

the radio controlled yeah you got a little remote control thing two two thumbs it's got now it's got a wheel and a trigger oh trigger with a wheel cool and i just drive them i just stand in my flip-flops in the alley behind my house. No brakes? Go up and down. I mean, they're there if you need them. Oh, man, this guy knows how to do brakes. This guy knows how to do brakes.

No, I went to emasculate me. I went to a track with them, and there's like the old pros that are there, which I'm like, look at these old guys. They're probably four years older than me. Look at these old weird dudes in Hawaiian shirts. Actually, they're kind of like, look. Is that a slack you're wearing there? When I grow up, I want to be like, these cool dudes.

And they'll go on the course, and they're good, and they're jumping everything, and I've got to wait until they're done, and then I go up there and I just crash through the whole course. Is it a dirt course? No, it's like an indoor carpeted course.

Oh, a carpeted course. And I got, I got so much, I'm wearing my Fitbit, got a lot of steps in because it was just me never making a whole lap

without flipping it over and then having to come down from the control station, flip the car over and just the two guys watching me waiting for them to drive. And I'm like, paid my 15 bucks.

I get my, I'm getting my laps. Don't worry. I'm getting my laps. So there's, uh, there's an area that you have to stand to do. Yeah. There's like a controlling area. So you could look down on the track and see all the space. This is pretty big.

It's like in a warehouse. Huh? So it's a pretty big space. Never heard of anything like this. I didn't. I didn't. Three months ago, I didn't. Yeah, this does sound like a lot of fun.

It was Christmas break and I had, like I said, the real tuned up coffee. I'm like, this is fun. Yeah. This is going to be my thing. Like I decided one afternoon, this is my new thing. When did you find out about the facility you could go to? I just looked up online.

I'm like, all right, let me see where I got to go to buy stuff, if I can drive this indoors. The ones I have are for outdoors, and I'll take them when I'm out in the desert camping or whatever. If I'm car camping, I'll take one with the traipse around. But I want to go on the course where the jumps are made. Yeah. I'll do all that stuff, and it's fun.

At first, I was confused by this concept. I'm really coming around to it. I never collected stuff mean i guess i collect guitars because i'm not playing them so i technically that's collecting but they serve a product i never understood the collecting like action figures and stuff like that where people just have a room i like this well this sounds hypocritical i I like less stuff. Okay. Even though I'm actively acquiring. The things I'm getting do things.

Right. Right. I don't like just purely. Have them to have them. Inherently still collections of Star Wars. Right. But then people look at them. They like them. Like records.

I don't need records. So just these RC cars, they look, what do they look like? Dune buggies? I'm imagining little dune buggies. Well, there, I have a one 16th scale. I picked it up like a sedan.

Traxxas Summit. That's kind of got like a, what's it got? Like a Jeep Cherokee body, but big wheels on the outside. It looks like a monster truck. Then I have, then I have a short course,

a Traxxas slash two, two wheel drive, one 10th scale. It's a short course truck. You ever see the big-wheel drive, one-tenth scale. It's a short course truck. You ever see the big pickup trucks that race in the desert? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got one of those. And then I just got one delivered that I bought on eBay a couple days ago.

Are you so mad you had to come on this trip? The day I got it, I had to tell my girlfriend, I'm like, this is like a King of Queens episode because we were literally going to the symphony that night. She's like, you need to get dressed for the symphony. I'm like, but I want to play with my toy car. I'm like, oh god. Stupid sitcom plots are actually

real in my life right now. You're not wearing a Hawaiian shirt to the symphony. I'm trying to put the windshield stickers on my new car. I'm trying to put the windshield stickers on my new car. I'm going to see if the stupid file ends. And then we got yelled at for talking during the symphony. Well, I mean. You had questions.

And you're like, why are there no lyrics? Maybe I'll do a spoken word bit. Strings. Here they are. They're on every instrument. I miss my car. Now, the guys who have the, like, are there specific indoor? I think you guys are more interested in this than I am.

Oh, absolutely. The guys who have the indoor cars, the carpet cars, are they like sports car? No, they're still the buggies, but you change out, you tune the suspension up. Sports car? No, there's still the buggies, but you change out. You tune the suspension up to be able to impact the corner. You need tighter suspension. Sure, yeah.

You take the corners tight with loose suspension. You're just flipping it. And you're going across that carpet. You might get sucked up by a vacuum. You don't know what's happening. A cat comes out and swipes you right over. There's a Roomba behind you. I love the idea that they just put a series of Roombas out at night and just a very long trip around the course.

That's somebody else's idea of a fun time. They collect Roombas, different speeds, different sizes. They mod them. They customize them. Do you talk to these other guys? Do you talk to the cars? No. Like every other hobby that I'm bad at it,

and I'm intimidated by the people that participate. Absolutely. When I'm mountain biking, it's always 55-year-old dudes flying past me going up the hill with the Lycra and all this stuff. I'm like, they don't care what I'm doing. And guitar, I'm like, I would go to a guitar center to buy a guitar, and I would never plug it in in there because that's how bad i was like this one seems yeah yeah yeah don't take it out of the

rapper whoa listen to the way it swells up when you turn up the volume yeah i don't need to prove myself i'll tune it at home i'll just don't tune it when i get it home it's okay the um yeah because i feel like i remember at the beach and saw somebody like doing awesome things with a kite. And I was like, yeah, kite. And then,

but then I was like, I don't know, but if I brought it out there and it fell once, I'd be like, I quit. Well, yeah. And the idea that like,

who's going to make fun of you, the people who are good at kites. Exactly. Like, is that a real egg? Is that a real point break type of scene? Get off the beach, kook. This ain't your turf, Howley.

I'm like, I don't know. These kite dudes are so aggro. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm all bloodied up. What happened? I cross paths with the 16th Street kite flyers. Oh, they told me the wind was mad at me. Yeah, a guy in a Benjamin Franklin outfit.

Where's your kite? They just cut the string. They just cut the string. Oh, my kite. So cruel. Belongs to the sky now, they said. They have kites with blades on them that come by. Margo, my three-year-old, saw someone flying a kite in the park and was like oh that looks really fun

and I like how do you convince a three-year-old no that sucks you're wrong that sucks there's it's never windy enough I don't know how to do it you're gonna get so frustrated I might have the patience to learn but you will hate it yeah it's a it a lot of, I mean, when you see people doing it, you're like, I don't, like they're pulling. Yeah, the elaborate ones. Yeah, yeah. They're always, it seems like they're in a fight. Yeah, it was the plastic ones that like, I'll just run up and stick this into a tree now.

We'll get that done early. Why even go through? First, let me take this string, put it in a bunch of knots. Let me just put it in a bunch of knots. All the little plastic pieces that hold it open, I'll go through. First, let me take this string, put it in a bunch of knots. Let me just put it in a bunch of knots. All the little plastic pieces that hold it open, I'll break those. I see you going to the park with a ladder and a kite. I'm just going to go stick this in a tree somewhere. I'm done.

What do you guys want to do now? My thing that was like a silent thing that I could do, just be alone with my thoughts, was like seven years ago, I bought five identical shirts. And they were, well, they're not identical, but they're the same brand. Fall colors? No, they were white and blue. Two whites, two blues, and

one stripy. But they were all the same brand. For a fun night out. All the same brand, and so they all had the same buttons. And then about seven years in, all the buttons started to break. And like, you know, you break one button and you can replace it with another one. You know, they come with backups. Yeah. But across all these five shirts, like two or three buttons would break.

And I was like, I'm going to buy all new buttons. Cut off all the old buttons. Start fresh. And like, that'll be my project where I'm just like sitting in bed, sewing on, sewing on like whatever, 15 buttons, a shirt. Oh, I love it. Because it's the collars, it's the cuffs, it's the gauntlet. Oh, you did the whole thing.

Oh yeah. You refurbed the whole shirt. And it took me like eight months to do five shirts because they were just sitting on top of my dresser i'm not now yeah yeah i don't want like people that knit like oh i get it i just have something that's kind of mindless not high stakes but all the other worries in the world go away and i think it's healthy to have something like that i don't have anything like that well we got to get just something. Yeah.

I mean, this RC car thing sounds really cool. It sounds expensive, though. Am I right? Well, you know what it is? It's less than other hobbies. Less than guitars. Less than guitars. Less than bikes. I can't justify any more bikes.

How many bikes do you have? Or any more guitars. Four bikes. Four bikes? I got a BMX bike. I got a road bike. I got two mountain bikes. Wow.

That's pretty good. Someone the other day was asking, do you have like child seats for your bikes? And I was like, I don't have bikes. Yeah, I'm too afraid of getting hit by a car in the city. I don't ride in the city much anymore. And by a bear in the city i don't ride the city much anymore and by a bear in the woods right yeah just hit by it and by a room in that carpeted bike facility i go to um and like do you have other friends that do this rc thing or is it just you and then i i don't have i don't

have shared hobbies i bought a friend an an RC car that opened for me. So I was like, I'll get you an RC car. But he didn't want one. I was just like, well, maybe you'll like this and you'll want to come with me to the race car track. I've heard of headliners buying people a suit or a Rolex, but never a Tyco. Yeah. Who's getting Rolexes? People over for Chris Rock or whatever.

That's pretty good. I mean, would you get that Chris Rock gig? Yeah. Is Tyco the industry leader in RC cars? No, it's not, but I was going to let it slide. Cause I realized I didn't know. I didn't know what the. Tycho was the one from my youth.

Yeah. That was just like the, out of a box. Was there, do you remember ones that were connected to the car via a wire? I remember how quickly people realized those weren't no fun. They were impossible. You'll definitely get your steps in

that way my toys on a leash yeah it is just like taking your car for a walk yeah i can drive yeah until it goes taught it's got one of these uh phone cords on it so stretch i remember even being like a little being a small child and getting toys like, who's this for? Who thought this was fun? Bring them in the room. Call in a meeting. Who thought this was fun? I remember someone in my neighborhood

had those ones that were on the track, the cars. Oh, yeah. Slot cars. That's a big thing now, too. Yeah, slot cars. I just remember it smelled like burning electronics. Yeah. Like weird.

The little metal plates on the bottom. Yeah. They have those now. They do those, like slot cars are a thing, like,

and you can customize them with little shocks and everything. They have these other ones where the track is, they have stuff like,

it's like this big. It's like the size of your phone. And it's still a customizable car. I have a, for the home listener, I have a like it. It's like this big. It's like the size of your phone and it's still a customizable car. I have a, but for the home listener, I have a 1989 Nokia. It's a pretty large phone,

but you can customize it and it's just a tiny car. And they put those kind of, you ever see those like playground squares that you can match together, like puzzle pieces to make a soft play. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'll just make a track out of that at some sort of rec center and just race those on a flat track.

The one I go to has jumps and everything because it's for the bigger cars. The hobby shops you go to, are they hobby shops? Yeah, yeah. I go to hobby shops. So it's not just RC cars. It's like the model trains. If I had my own house, I would be hard into that model train scene or does it have or is it the same place that sells the little uh figurines that you paint

those that falls in there too yeah that that that's part of my airplane or the actual planes are intense yeah those things are huge like as big as this room. And you, like, they seem still so breakable. Like. Yeah. They seem so, like, more breakable than a kite. And then the effort to go in, now you can buy them, like, prefabbed, and I think they're more durable. But I remember, again, same friend who would have one that would crash, like, the airplanes,

you'd, like, glue all the wood together and then wrap it in this kind of plastic and then take a hairdryer to shrink it all and they would fly at once and it would be like the kite would just be complete like you're going out there with something that's a session it's like the like the body of a bird yeah you're now in you've wrapped in garbage yeah yeah it's so fragile it's the most fragile thing you'll ever hold as a child. And also, you're going to fly it in the sky. Like, this wouldn't last. Just in a room, left alone for a week, something would happen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, yeah, I don't do the plane thing. Plus, my cousin cut part of his finger off with one of those. Cool. So that was like. Like, but they flew at him, and he lost part of his finger no he was just trying to start it the propeller and it started while his hand was still in it really that much power chop the oh yeah chop the end of his finger up oh i mean name me a cooler way to do that yeah

that's true i mean that's plain accident yeah yeah sure the plane accident. Yeah. Yeah, sure. The plane accident. Oh, man. Aviation incident. Maybe getting to third base with a Venus flytrap. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Well, yeah, this is. Yeah, I didn't know you'd have that many questions.

I don't know. Well, it just really opened up a real. Get into it. I mean, I'm child know. Well, it just really opened up a real. Get into it. I mean, I'm childless. Yeah. And it's one of those like, all right, I don't think it's this stunted adulthood. The rest of my life's together. Yeah.

You've got a bank account. Yeah, I'm going to drive my little cars. Yeah. Like if I was single and a lonely man and then I knew that and somebody saw me in my shower sandals in the alley driving my cars up and down the street, that'd be bad. They're like, no, I live with a whole lady. There's a whole lady inside that apartment, and she's okay with it. So, screw anybody trying to judge me. I did scare the shit out of one guy walking his dog.

I forget about it. Because I go so fast that I didn't do it kind of night out. I didn't see it all. I heard this dog go crazy. Oh, I'm real it. Because it goes so fast. And I didn't do it kind of night out. And I didn't see it all. I just heard this dog go crazy. Oh, I'm real sorry. Wow. Yeah, like I remember as a kid going to, you know, like a relative or a friend of the families that we were called, called them uncle. And he had a model train.

And I remember thinking like, this is like adults did this. Like it seemed, it seemed so, it was like, well, when, when do you have the time? Yeah, it was whimsical. Well, that's, I've been making a joke about it, but it's, I think like I get why that's what old guys do, because that's the last part of a changing world that they can preserve. There's this like little train town. Yeah. That's why it's never, you know,

model train towns are never like 1998. It's always the fifties. It's always, you know, it's always a time like, and this is the train goes in and no gay people are getting married here. I would like that. 1998.

He said the gap is very popular. Oh yeah. just a little it's a huge heroin problem in my model train town uh you know what's opening at the cineplex do you have any little figurines that have giant pants giant raver inline skater upsetting a handrail in the park right now They're an inline skater upsetting a handrail in the park right now. The NSYNC is playing in the concert dome. I very much like the idea of somebody building a scale model. There's dedication to 1998.

Uninspired cars. So many Chevy Cavaliers. Yeah, what was the hot Pontiac Firebird? Maybe that was in there. You've got to really cut the brushes to get the frosted tips just yeah frosted tips and puka shell necklaces yeah you have to draw tiny little von dutch hats those are those are past shirts with flames on them oh yeah would you ever wear a shirt with a flame on it? Not now. I think in my past. I think I was. Maybe in your distant future?

When you realize that the mid to late 90s, everybody was doing a Guy Fieri. Right. Some like. Cosplay. He's just that. Yeah. He's just a preserved specimen. And nicely preserved.

Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. The patina on that guy uh dave what's going on with you man well um oh the other day i was driving around uh and the baby was in the back and i with margo we used to drive around and like, you know, so having a child is terrible for the environment for so many reasons.

One reason is like, oh, oh, they can't get to sleep. Just put on the shower, just run the shower, have some running water.

Make sure it's hot. Yeah. And then the noise will knock them right out or, or. Turn on all the lights. I don't even know.

Yeah. Antithetical to sleeping. Burn a tire. Yeah, yeah. Or like put plastics in the compost. They seem to like that. She gets real upset

if I don't snip the six pack holders so I just have to throw those out. Or just like the weight of a bag of diapers, of used diapers is like

The weight of a bag of diapers? It's like a boxer's heavy bag. What a horrible triple beam measurement. Yeah. Also, it sounds like it's like a,

well, Ernest Hemingway book or something, the weight of a bag of diapers. But, uh, with Margo, we used to drive around and she would take an hour nap While we drove

And that was the whole purpose of the drive And now we don't do that so much with Poppy But I did it the other day And she fell asleep And it was a beautiful day It was like I think it was a Sunday And it was just the most beautiful day We had had in months

After like weeks and weeks of storms And you could tell everyone was out enjoying the day and i drove around and i uh drove past this uh place near where i used to work i was like what are those people doing out there in like funky hats on a beautiful day i was like a band photo shoot oh cool and i was like okay oh, band photo shoot. Oh, cool. And I was like, okay, cool. Band having a photo shoot in funky hats outside of like a laundry facility. Yeah, I was like, where did you used to work? It was just a building across from a laundry facility that was like this big, it was like just a big white and green background.

What kind of funky hats? Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to figure out what type of band it is. Oh, you know what? It was like late 60s, maybe something Janis Joplin would wear, like a wide brim, maybe a feather in it, or beads around it.

And a floppy? Yeah. Oh, yeah, one of those floopy floppy hats. Somebody bringing back that. I saw guys like that once. I'm like, what's your band's like? It's like whiskey-so oh god i'm sorry like a honey glazed jazz you know like sriracha punk uh and so i kept driving and i went all the way across town to the beach

and uh drove through the beach. Tons of people out. I think there was a film crew shooting something and get to the end of the beach and then the parking lot. There's a couple more people standing by their car and someone's taking their picture. Oh, they've got instruments. Oh, it's another band photo. Cool. So it was like the day when the bands were getting.

We came out after the winter and yeah, if they see their own shadow and they'll be rocking for an extra two weeks. Um, do you remember when we heard the blues the other night on the radio? Yes. And you, you said that she was heavier than a bag of diapers, man.

That was a stone cold groove. And you were saying that a lot of the rock stations here at a certain time of day, like past 10 or something, they just start playing like crazy rock blues. There's a weird tradition of like bar band blues. Yeah. Really? At night here.

It's never the same. Well, it's like one of two or three stations used to only be on sunday nights but now after nine or ten you can catch the blues like that's when they know the station manager goes to bed yeah they're like all right and forbidden music and the song we heard was like what was it was like a song about food oh yeah it wasn't a metaphor it was like you know what they're singing about when they say pie in those songs right but he was singing about like a salami sandwich and stuff and like it was like piling on meat not a euphemism no no it was like get me this from the griddle and all this kind of stuff it was definitely ham in the song yeah uh which is its own sub-genre of uh music is uh songs about food that are

literally about food weird al mostly does those yeah food pyramid jams yeah there was a beach boys like when brian wilson was like going through his post kind of pet sounds phase and he definitely wrote like a lot of songs about vegetables. Yeah. He had a lot of songs about that. I did that B side show last night was a show full of jokes that, you know, don't work anywhere else.

And when my, I forgot what my favorite jokes was like, you know, I Brian Wilson call that album pet sounds. It's because the cats kept shitting in that sandboxes piano. I thought that was such an inside cut about knowing Brian Wilson having to have a sandbag. Like, just imagine like, oh, this is just so my feet can be in it.

And there's like a cat taking a shit next to me. Like, all right, man, this is backfiring on me. Yeah, yeah, you've ruined this. And this whole room is dedicated to this beach thing. Now I got to clean out the cat box I'm sorry my piano sandbox cats have been using it did it work?

I forgot to do it so anyway at the level I had to explain to it here I probably wouldn't have the second band, what kind of look were they? They were a duo. He had an acoustic guitar and she had

that sort of like... Bassoon. No, like a harp. What's the... Oh, yeah. It's like a... Not a harpsichord? No. Harpsichord's a... Oh, yeah. No, but it's like... You can hold them. It's like a triangle with a bunch of strings on it? No, I'd say it's a polygon.

Polygon, yeah. Maybe a rhombus. Do you know the comedian Mary Mack? Yeah. She has one. I think that's a harpsichord. I don't know. I mean, definitely I know what you're talking about.

Is it a clavicle? They were big in the 60s, like folk. Yeah, so I'm thinking that's what this duo was. Cool. No hats? Because was that like the graduation of like, all right, we got too many ukulele acts. What if I had a few more strings, but it's still small and adorable?

I would go for it. But it was, they were at the beach, but the photo was being taken of the back of their chevy van so so i don't know what what they were going for huh it's uh but yeah like i was on granville street uh this was like a couple months ago there was a woman that was doing i think it was like a photo fashion shoot and uh the guy was like, open the jacket. And she was wearing a very see-through shirt underneath. And yeah, everybody stood around and applauded.

But it was amazing. So brave. How people didn't respond at all. Like people were just like, it's a photo shoot. I've got to respect that it We don't. We will not. Call the police. In Hollywood. And a woman walked past my girlfriend and I.

Like midday with just a. It was like a plastic. A clear plastic shirt. Like a shower curtain. Yeah. So sweaty. We're across the street. And I'm like.

I don't know how to address that and my girlfriend just goes cool tits I mean I was thinking that too but probably not with the sarcasm you were saying it but alright we're on the same page I feel like it would get so steamed up in there

your cans are fogging up there I don't know if that was for me to bring up, but I thought you should know. Oh, yeah. That's a very swingin' 60s kind of look. Yeah. Clear plastic outfit. It's sort of like the RC airplane wrapped in plastic. Oh, yeah.

Maybe she was going to go home and put a heat gun on those jammers. The other thing that happened that day, tighten those up. After the hour of napping, baby woke up and I had to go get some groceries and I went to the grocery store and I, you know, it was a full parking lot. I had to find a spot, took the baby out,

took my reusable bags. I got my hands full and there's no shopping carts outside. I was like, oh, maybe they moved where they put them. So I went inside. I looked around. I didn't see any. I talked to customer service and I was like, where do you keep the shopping carts? And this is a place I go to like once a week.

And she said, oh yeah, we don't have any. Why there hasn't been shopping carts here for 70 years. The whole idea of the grocery industry being so environmentally conscious. You just have to hold everything in your hands. Like, if you can't hold it, you don't need it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Was there more to that? Yeah, she said they're on back order. But I guess, she wasn't in charge of it but i guess whoever was was like oh we're getting new shopping carts let's throw out these old ones before the new ones oh they forgot to there was no overlap yeah yeah well we can't leave a bunch of shopping carts just sitting around because teens you know teens see just a bunch of shopping they'll race them they'll race them they'll bash them into people's cars throw them in a lake uh or a river i don't i don't know it's not a nice thing to laugh at but the grocery store i use has like the wheels that'll lock if you push it past yeah and just

whenever you see somebody i've never seen it happen i was just like oh ah what and just confounded like i don't know why I just, I enjoy that. They didn't do anything wrong. Maybe they just parked on the street instead of the parking lot. They're just like, it's still like, that's not like you go back over the line and it unlocks.

Oh, really? Oh, I didn't know that. It's locked forever. Dragging it through the parking lot. Does it lock all the wheels or can you put it on two? One wheel, but yeah, you see him try to manipulate the thing. I'm like, come on. I always seem to get the

shopping cart with that one wonky wheel. Oh, yeah. So, yeah. I went back to my car. I'm like, I cannot shop without this yeah did you see anybody trying well no there were people who were like had the baskets oh they got the baskets yeah but but if you uh basket with a kid in it yeah exactly one basket's got a whole baby the card is so great you can put a baby in it yeah a lot of jugglers walking around the store i'm just buying three oranges and a bowling pin yeah and anything else you want to throw in there

buddy help me out throw that butter in there would you all right yeah i've uh i've definitely gone shopping when like all the all the baskets are in use and had to do like kind of a like uh take my coat off and use that as a thing that you put things in oh like the worst shoplifter ever but i make my coat into kind of like a bindle yeah kind of a bindle yeah i've never done i always take the basket and then get a cart's worth of stuff yeah yeah and and i'm i'm still i'm like i can hold it with one hand i'll just switch hands it's been five seconds i didn't need all this milk why am i buying so many tinned goods maybe if i swing, it'll move me forward.

Oh, man. So, yeah, cart troubles. Oh, boy. Big day out there. Yeah, big day. A lot of band photo shoots and cart troubles. So, yeah. A kid got some sleep out of it.

Exactly. Yeah. And you know what? You know not to go back to that grocery store until their back-ordered carts are in. Right? Jeez. It's a nice phone call. Hey, do you fucking idiots get shopping carts yet? Yeah, yeah.

Do you know that part that you need for your store to survive? Are you a small Italian grocery? No, you're a huge grocery store, supermarket? You're a supermarket. Yeah, it's like if you went in a clothes store and all the clothes were just on the floor and they were like, oh, hangers. Getting new ones. Yeah.

We got hangers on back order. Also, we took all the tags out, so guess what size is these things? Yeah, just rummage through and see if you can find anything. What's up with you? You know what? Here's a thing that I did yesterday. And I really thought, because, you know, the reputation of going and getting your license renewed is that this is going to be an all-day affair. You're going to go.

You're going to get a number. I feel like that is a... Someone wrote that in a screenplay once. And everyone was like, yeah, that's good. Let's use that. We're hitting the DMV shopping cart with wobbly wheels. We are nailed to that. Yeah, we're exactly. We're crushing the DMV, shopping carts, wobbly wheels. We are nailed it. Yeah, we're exactly. We're crushing 80s.

I was thinking. That's my model train town is just 80 hack comedy tropes. Oh, cool. I was thinking of like one guy got diarrhea from Taco Bell and they haven't lived it down since. Yeah, I'm generally thinking what other tropes could you build in that little town? I mean, Chicken McNuggets, where is that? What part of the chain does that come from? There's a plane crash.

Why didn't they make the plane? The peanuts are so hard to get into. Toilet seat being up or down. These are great, great. I love the old comedians now. Like, oh, kid's got to wear a helmet just to go down the street, raise it a bunch of pussies. Like, no, I know a few kids because they didn't have helmets are dumb now. Yeah.

And also, peanuts are, people have peanut allergies now. ISIS only needs to drop peanuts at Snickers bar and they'll take them. Oh, yeah, because we learn more about the human condition and that there's uniqueness. Oh, God. I love this character. It involved an accent and kind of. Eventually you start doing the old school New York.

Drop a Snickers bar. They could take over the whole country. But, yeah, it's really the DMV. Well, do we call it the DMV? No, it's just. Just the DMV. Well, we don't, do we call it the DMV? It's just, just the driver's license center. Yeah.

Um, you know, it's got a bad, it's got a bad rep. And, uh, there were people who clearly also thought that, cause there was a guy like full laptop and was doing all of his work.

Yeah. And it was brought a tent there were people it was a guy had a book and uh another like people on the phone like they all had uh figured like oh boy i'm in for the long preservatives a lot of canned goods yeah people are smoking fish yeah writing a journal to a loved one back home by candlelight and uh And it was the fastest, most efficient, and friendly service I've ever had at any kind of government institution. Was your license expired? Or was it going to expire? It was going to expire.

So I just went in, and I was like, oh, boy like they're going to ask me the litany of questions. And they didn't. They were just like, oh, yeah, here's a. What questions would they ask? I don't know. I don't know what I. You still remember how to drive? Yeah.

Yeah. What do you do before you make a turn? Do you turn on a signal or do you not turn on a signal? Doesn't matter. Nobody listens anyway. Why does it take so long? I guess it doesn't. It doesn't.

That was the thing is I was like, oh, man, I'm really, I'm settling in. I thought it was going to be the rest of my afternoon was just hanging out there. In and out, I don't know, 10 minutes. Yeah, I've been there sometimes. Did I stay here for a little longer? Yeah, I really had my day built around this. I feel like i'm gonna die now because this doesn't happen this is some foreshadowing i don't want to entertain

right now i um and their numbering system is weird and like you know oh you're f24 oh no it's b4 is up there yeah like oh f24 is next yeah yeah i did that i had to get a visa for going to China and I was in the Chinese consulate in Los Angeles and it was just mayhem. Like just so many just hands. It was like some kind of fire drill. Hands with babies being held and just stuff. I'm like, ah, what? My number? I'm like ready to like just jump in front of the company.

It wanted to be like, I'm like of all the chaos in the waiting rooms, like I was there for like 20 minutes. I was like, oh, all like 20 minutes I was like oh alright okay and like you went and did shows yeah no you just went

to get RC car parts well that's all I knew for a whole hour well that's again like every time I come to Canada I gotta sit

in the secondary room you know I get bumped out of line because I got a DUI 8 years ago 7 years so i get held over and every time i've been in there there's been some guy like oh buddy stop just give

up like i think i don't know if i did i tell the story last time about the guy who's clearly the decoy for somebody smuggling drugs no maybe i't remember. The guy's like calling the guard over and he's like, hey, like, is there another line for like white people? Because this one seems like

it's just for Asian people. And the guard's like, the guy's like, do you have a problem with Asian people? He's like, no, I'm just saying

there's a lot of Asian people in this line. Yes, you did tell that. I did tell that because that was the last time I came here. And then this time,

there's just some guy who looks like he's made out of marijuana with these two bags that probably weigh like just a bag full of diapers. They're heavy. And then I just hear him going like, well, no, you see, they're all broken iPods. So like they can only be used for data storage. So that's why I'm just bringing them over. He just had two suitcases full of broken iPods.

Oh, boy. I'm like, buddy, just give up, man. Whatever your racket is. And he did not look like a businessman with a plan for these things. It was clearly like. Last I checked, it wasn't illegal to walk around with a bunch of industrial garbage. It might look it. He's like, it's just a bunch of iPods and iPads.

The guy's like, what? He's like, yeah, but they're broken. So it's cool. You travel with two suitcases of broken iPads from China. Yeah, that's what I'm telling you. They're for data storage of data that I picked up in Southeast Asia. I mean, there's secrets on them. I just can't get to them yet.

You know what I'm talking about, buddy? Ah, shit. I shouldn't have said that part. But what's iTunes backwards? Yeah, so that was 10 minutes of your life. That was 10 minutes of my life. Did you change your... We were talking last week on the show.

Changed my address. Yeah. Updated the address. And also, like a couple weeks ago just out of the the blue i was just working on the computer and then i was like have i did have i signed up as an organ donor like i assumed that i had but i went to the like registry and i hadn't so i was like yeah you know what yeah update that i'll be an organ donor being an adult that's right and they you know what? Yeah. Update that. I'll be an organ donor. Being an adult. That's right.

And they, you know, did they say, no, thank you. Yeah. They said, we're only interested in one organ.

I'm like, Oh, come on you guys. Stupid horny robots. Well, it was weird because when you went on the website, you were like, is there a line for just white people to organ?

Yeah. P.S. It's white organs just um and uh just use it for sports medicine all right it's like good stuff don't just go just don't point that tennis ball machine at it to see the uh and so when i was at the the driver's license place, they have a form that they give out to everybody. And I said, no, no, I've already filled it out. I could tell the lady was like, you know what? Just keep your organs then. Like she thought I was lying.

And it sounded like I was lying because I was like, that's exactly what I would say. I didn't want to fill it out. I gave it the office. Yeah. And I could tell that she was like, you selfish son of a bitch. I'm doing somebody a favor by not giving them what's in here. Yeah. Yeah.

You might want to give these a rinse. Let's just say when I die, these are going to go in a big 50 gallon barrel. I want to donate them to some lake somewhere. I love to be, I want to be background on a film set. Yeah. Barrels have to have weight. Otherwise it's just blowing around the wind. Stick me in one of them.

Put me in the credits. That's all I want. Drum number 63. One person was horribly harmed during the making of this. Dedicated to the memory of Graham Toxic Clark. Donate my mummified corpse to a traveling haunted house that's all i want yeah it's uh uh yeah you don't get well i guess on the forum you get to say which ones you oh yeah you can say oh really yeah the whole bag or uh you can just who's who's picking and

choosing i don't know maybe there's some religious things that you can't give away this thing or that thing. I don't know. Yeah. Like what religion's like, all right, when you die and your soul goes to heaven, they're going to cut you open. But remember, you're going to make sure you keep your spleen. I feel like the eyes is something that people, I feel like that maybe isn't a religious custom or something. But the spleen, I mean, nobody, I don't think you're donating a spleen to anybody, are you? Yeah, that's true.

Like, I donated my appendix. Yes. Nobody really needs a spleen. They have a thing where you can say, I do not want this used in testing. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you can say, I only want this to be used, like, to donate to another person. Yeah, I didn't know. Is that ours is just like,

check it. Like, are you giving them or not? Yeah. And then, and then we'll take it from here. And then, yeah,

we're just going to drop them off buildings and like a Mr. Wizard type of experiment. Have you seen the body worlds exhibit? That body worlds exhibit. Apparently they have like, um, Oh, I think it's a lot of illegal body world.

No, I think it's like people are lining up. People are, they want to be featured. Well, I thought initially though, they were kind of like, I think this guy was just... This German guy. A couple of suitcases of broken iPads coming from China. A lot of German Craigslist. I went to that when it first came out, and I remember afterwards, it's like, all right, it's kind of an intense experience.

You know, you're like, oh, this is people. Yeah, yeah. That are just like, it'll be scientific and interesting. I'm like, nah, this guy's playing basketball. That guy's on a horse. That's also, I don't think the horse signed a waiver. Yeah, I think these two are a band that are getting their photo taken i got floppy hats on like whiskey soaked blues but then at the end my buddy's like all right that one had a real big dick right

all right i wasn't gonna say anything but i was like god damn look at this guy like man i can see yeah preserve me oh there won't be any clothes on hell yeah preserve it hell yeah get it out there let people know what i was about make sure my name's on the plaque i want to know exactly whose that was take off the four skin take off the five skin there's plenty left over uh yeah so, so that's a successful renewal. Wow, I got a piece of paper now that says license owing. Oh. You know, so I don't have any photo ID.

I'm just, yeah, exactly. How are you going to buy beer for those kids? I'll get them to buy it for me. Wow. Change of plans this week. Young teens. Quid pro quo. I was just trying to think,

was there something that I would send in a teen to buy for me? Oh, sure. I'm going to need a lot of RC car parts, you guys. I'm too embarrassed. Do you mind going in there? Do they still make Maxim magazine yeah

because I would like to know what's going on but yeah I'm too embarrassed should we move on to some overheards sure life can be fun

don't get carried away you gotta do the things you don't wanna do to get through the day you gotta shine your shoes you gotta do the things you don't wanna do To get through the day You gotta shine your shoes You gotta sweep the floor You gotta clean your house You gotta do some more

Take care of business Yeah, we said we were moving on over her But we're sneaky We're a couple of rascals, you and I It's business, guys Look, it's just business Yeah, yeah, yeah So, and you know what? Greed is good And buy low sell high You and I. It's business, guys. Look, it's just business. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, and you know what? Greed is good. Uh-huh. And buy low, sell high. Uh-huh. And you know what? And for that reason, I'm out. Now, Dave.

Yeah. Sometimes you find yourself, you just find yourself. Yeah, I know. And you know where I found myself? I found myself in a square space. And what did you do while you were there? I made a website. Yeah, I know. And you know where I found myself? I found myself in a square space. And what did you do while you were there? I made a website. Yeah. And it used to be, back in the old country, if you wanted a website, you had to go to the 10 people that knew how to do that.

Yeah. And you would arrive on the back of a cart filled with beets. That's right. You would have a sign that said, website or bust. Website or burst. And now you can make your own website.

No. Yeah, Dave. No, I don't believe it. You're a witch. No, don't burn me yet. Okay. They have the tools to allow you

Johnny Simpleton. Uh-huh. Duh. To me? Who just fell off the turnip truck. Here's what you can do with Squarespace. Adoy. You can turn your cool idea into a new website.

Adoy. Sell products and services of all kinds. Adoy. Announce an upcoming event or special project. Adoy. And more. Well, does Squarespace do this by giving you beautiful customizable templates created by

world-class designers? I don't know. Do they do it? Do they do everything optimized for mobile right out of the box? Bo-bo-bo-bo-yo-yo-yo. You know, look. We made our website, ourdebutalbum.com on Squarespace. So easy.

And what you got to do, you check out squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch your old website or Reno, you use the offer code SPY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com. Enter code SPY. Now back to the podcast. Hi, I'm Allie Gertz. And I'm Julia Prescott. And we're the hosts of Everything's Coming Up Simpsons.

We are a Simpsons podcast brand new to the Maximum Fun Network. And every episode we cover a different episode of The Simpsons that is a favorite of our special guests. We've had guests that are showrunners and writers and voice actors like Nancy Cartwright, all people that have worked on The Simpsons. And we've also had guests like Weird Al and people that are on the Maximum Fun Network already. And each week we will talk to a very cool guest about their favorite episode. And it is so much fun. So if you like The Simpsons, come listen to everything's coming up. Simpsons.

All right. Smell you later. Hey, my name is Jonah Ray. You might've seen me on the latest season of mystery science theater 3000 or heard me on the nerdist podcast. Well, I got a new podcast.

That's about five years old, but we're moving it over to max fun along with my friend cash hartzell hey everybody and my other friend neil so it's a music podcast where a lot of people just kind of hang out and talk about music but so much more we also take submissions and so you can hear your band or our music. Or both. Or both of it. You could listen to your band play your music. Yeah. So tune in, why don't you?

You could find out about some new bands and maybe just hear us embarrass ourselves as we drink too much. Not too much. Well, it's all perspective, isn't it? Sure is. Overheard. Overheard.

The segment where, you know, when you're out there, out there in the big wide world, sometimes you hear things. And then sometimes maybe you'll see things. Maybe you're just seeing things but then we invite you and you our guests back here to the podcast to share these things and we always like to start with the guest kyle would you lead the way um i'll see if this counts i think it's appropriate because it's in a canadian emergency room okay but it was it was, I was up here on tour with a band, and long story short, my gout was real bad,

and I had to go because the band was touring, like, a show every night. So I'm like, just drop me off at the emergency room so I can get a steroid pill so I can handle my gout. Okay. Because I couldn't just stop there the day because that's when you have to drive. So it's the middle of the night, and I think I was in Hamilton, whichever hospital there, and I couldn't even sit in a chair.

It's how bad. So they put me in a gurney in a hallway. Oh, wow. And I could just see into one of the rooms, this guy's face was mangled. But he still had his toque, like his hockey toque out, and he clearly just got in a hockey brawl. But he was just so upset about the lopsidedness of the fight. Like his whole face was just swollen and bloody. But the guy, all he kept going was like, where the fuck was Terry the whole time I'm out there getting my ass kicked?

Two guys against 15 out there. Bullshit. Where the fuck was Terry? We're out there getting our ass kicked. Two guys against 15. Can I please go out for a smoke right now? Can I please have a smoke they'd be like no sir you can't two guys against 15 bullshit terry's no fucking where i'm out there

getting kicked in the goddamn face and i was laying i was trying to pretend i was sleeping but i was so fast that i like i had like a knit hat but I pulled it over my eyes so I could stare right at this guy, just indignant with just blood all over him. So I'm like, two guys, what the fuck with that? It was so, the most Canadian thing. I could say, could I please go have a smoke? A light about requesting cigarettes. He was, you said something

that was the most Canadian thing. I don't even know what it means. His hockey toque. Yeah. Well, toque's a hat. Yeah. Because that's what somebody said. Somebody said, I have a blue, I just call it a knit hat.

Yeah. I was like, did you steal your toque from Relic? I was on stage. Oh, wow. I was on stage. Oh, man. And Chris Gordon's like, I need to translate that. Yeah, yeah.

That's the most Canadian thing you can. So that's why I went with Took. I would just say like a knit hat with a fuzzy ball on the top. But for whatever hockey team, he had just got his ass kicked watching. Oh, yeah. Hockey Took. I got it. Oh, yeah.

He was watching. He wasn't an on-ice brawl. No. I could have just been watching it at a bar. Oh, yeah. This was a. What the fuck tour. Well, you lettered it. Being a. Yes. No, this guy was I could have just been watching it at a bar. Yeah, this was a What the fuck tour? You lettered it.

You're a fan. I mean, it makes sense either way. I would believe that a team had their own hockey toque. You wear this toque when you go to the emergency room after you get Represent the team! Make sure they know who you're repping.

Dave, do you have one over here? The the other night a woman came to our door i wasn't home i had the kids at my parents house and a woman came to our door and was uh high on drugs and angry and looking for someone who doesn't live here oh wow and wow. And banging on the door and Abby had to call the police. Oh, no. And they took her away and she had like a wrench in her bag and a big wad of cash and a bunch of other people's mail. Oh. Hmm. What a story she could tell. Yeah.

But afterwards, I only found two things out on our porch. One was an empty bottle of an aloe drink. Oh, yeah. It's still there. You got to hydrate when you're crazy. Yeah. And the other was a 7-Eleven receipt. Yeah.

And I don't know if this is her receipt or something she stole. I don't know anything this is her receipt or something she stole I don't know anything about this person Right But she On this receipt it was From 7-11 at 12-17 In the morning so right after midnight

On a Tuesday And it was one purchase for $17 The Life Magazine about Betty White $17 $17 the Life magazine about Betty White. A $17 $17? Wow. A Betty White special edition of Life magazine.

I gotta have this right after midnight. Does People magazine just have a Betty White in memoriam issue ready to go? Oh, of course. They're still around. They all do. just print it yeah yeah yeah they uh whenever i worked at a tv station for a while and they had pre the obits yeah so like especially for like people like at the time like the who was somebody that they had

an obit ready for uh i want to say it was one of like one of the popes or something like that like it was like yeah popes are always old yeah yeah have one of those ready and it's like you know what what are they going to achieve they became pope yeah oh yeah i already know where they stand enters into the slam dunk competition what came? Came in second. And then rocked the world by releasing a double album with Jay-Z. What? Of Linkin Park cover?

Some insane asterisk that they have to add. When I worked at CBC Music, we had like every Canadianadian musician who could who was over 50 we had obituaries written ready to go yeah joni mitchell neil young just over 50 boy i mean you know you start looking a little rough once here no not over 50 we didn't have like brian adams maybe over 60 yeah and brian adams as far as i know never die like clean living yeah yeah yeah it does seem like a clean living dude lives in france what's in london london sure one of the clean living capitals of the world um that so that lady she had a wrench

cash and what else in her bag? Stolen mail. Stolen mail. Late night plumber. Works for cash. Do you have the Nextdoor app up here? No, we just talked about that last week. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

I went on there, and that's just, somebody else summed it up perfectly. It's a great app to find out all your neighbors are racist, and somebody's missing their cat. great app to find out all your neighbors are racist and somebody's missing their cat. And I live like, I live kind of in the hills. And every time I see something like my cat's missing, I'm like, coyotes ate your cat. Stop. Yeah. Don't ever say, don't ever post for, it's been three weeks.

Your cat's gone. Let me check on this coyote app. I think you should have an indoor cat next time. But somebody, like I saw somebody, I happened to be up at like six in the morning and I saw a Camaro pull up in front of my apartment on the second floor. I looked down, I see some guy like jump out of the Camaro with like a flat brim hat, dump a bunch of mail in the trash. I'm like, well, that's a guy who stole a bunch of mail. Like that's not a rogue post post man. And so I put it on that next door. I'd be like, ah, there's guys but just on mail in this bin i looked

and just the the pc the of people well how do you know it was stolen i'm like i don't know because uh totally sketchy looking dude and a blacked out camaro dumped it in the recycling bin at 6 a.m and i was like well you that's no that's not proof of everything. I'm like, you fucking assholes. I'm trying to be part of the community and say, like, listen, these are the addresses. If you're on this block, like the 2600 block of the street, some of your mail's in my trash, and you really want to just chime in with how perfect of a human being you are?

Sometimes I have other people's mail on me. Perhaps this was just a friend of the families of that street discarding of their old mail that they didn't want, but they didn't do it there. They did it a few blocks away. What makes you think a mailman can't afford

a cool car? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then another thing, I had somebody crazy come to my door and wouldn't leave my property. And I put that, I took pictures of them.

I put it on there. I'm like, I'm not arguing. This is just information. Don't respond. I'm just telling you there's a guy in the neighborhood

that's going door to door and being real threatening and scaring people. You know what scares me? Radio control cars. So, I mean, You scared me and my dog.

I'm not trying to make stereotypes but that's actually a control issue you have that you don't, you're not good at regular driving so you need smaller

things underneath you to exercise your toxic masculinity uh you have an overheard oh i do yes mine's uh mine's uh an overseen of a place i've never seen before here in vancouver uh it's just a real real cute name for a dentist uh because i uh missed my bus the other day for me uh which one are you thinking of you say it well okay no it's not uh well maybe it is up the street where i'm trying to think of where i was walking i missed my bus and i had to walk and you'll never miss your bus again oh god no and i'll remember it by via rap yeah okay um no it was called uh no hurt fillings no no no hurt fillings yeah really cute right no hurt fillings wow yeah the one i was thinking of near here is called Under the Sea Dental.

That's not. That's one of those things you look at like, is this wordplay? And then they say about three days, like, no, it's not okay. Well, you didn't say it was a pun. You said it was a cute name. Yeah, it was cute. That's true. Yeah. But yeah, I'd never seen this place before.

No hurt fillings. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, this is pretty cute, right? Good work to whoever did that at the dentist office. I got fillings. Yeah, it was pretty good. Yeah, it was pretty cute, right? Good work to whoever did that at the dentist office. I got fillings three years ago and they still hurt. They did a bad job. I haven't been back. I can't eat nuts.

My fillings are hurt. Yeah. I definitely have a filling that's just like any day it's going to fall out. I mean, and then all the neighborhood kids will get candy is that what happens when your filling falls out how long do you go between dental visits uh assuming in my in my canadian utopia mind it's like you can just go whenever you want and it's no it's not covered welcome yeah dental is not No. So yeah, like once a year I try to go, but I might be pushing.

Try to eat all your vegetables with that mouthful of mush, Canadians. Yeah, exactly. No, yeah, for me it was 2015 was when this happened and I haven't been back since. Oh, wow. But they really should give me a freebie for- For mucking it up? Yeah. Yeah.

What about you? How often do you go to the dentist? Well, I went a couple of weeks ago, but it'd been about five years. I think the first time you were on the show, I talked about going to the dentist for the first time in like 15 years. Yeah. I probably went about that from like when I was under my parents' insurance at like 18 and then. Then a long stretch. Like where you just remember like, oh wait, the dentist is a thing. I was under my parents' insurance at like 18. And then a long stretch.

Like where you just remember like, oh, wait, the dentist is a thing. Like if you don't have problems, you're like, oh, I should probably still go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. And I was, I remember I got dental insurance at my job and I was like, I still don't want to go. That's like the DMV. It's like, I don't know. I'm like, all right, finally.

But maybe if you went to no hurt fillings. I'll like the DMV. It's like, I don't know. I'm like, all right, finally. But maybe if you went to No Hurt Villains. I'll go there next time. Now, we also have overheard sent into us from people around the world. If you want to send one in, you could send it in to sby at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Marion C. in Bryan, Texas. Mr. C. from Happy Days? Was it Marion? i don't know i i'm not up on happy days i know the fawns i know sit on it potsy actress named marion um they don't know we don't know um are you happy days guy not to the extent where i can answer mar Marion sounds... There was a Marion who maybe visited the set one day. And the dad was Tom...

Bosley. Bosley. There we go. So we know some stuff. Yeah, yeah. And the diner they hung out at was... Arnold's. There we go.

See, you know... Yeah, I saw Happy Days. I saw a Weezer video. Yeah, you're a real happy head. I saw... This is Marion. I saw two kids, about nine and seven, walking with their mother in the park. The one kid saying, Joe, you're a person. And Joe says, stop. And then the mom says, Andy, stop calling your brother a person.

Which is pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, because it's not technically wrong to call your brother a person but oh man but when do you get tired enough as a parent where you don't even want to explain how that's not a bad thing this calls like i just don't i just stop calling your brother i just want quiet even if you learn things incorrectly. Yeah. Yeah. Your brother's carbon based, but you know.

You're not touching him. You're not touching him, but that's like, you're still too close. Like there's such a thing as boundaries, but just. Yeah. But you know, when you're a kid, you can make anything into kind of like an annoyance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, when you're a kid, you can make anything into kind of like an annoyance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just experimenting with the idea of irritating someone.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, you're bothered for no reason? Well, I will continue that because I'm learning about being cruel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm learning cruelty at a seventh grade level. Yeah. I don't think I had too much. Like, I have a sister and we got along pretty much. I don't remember. Older or younger? Younger. About a year and a half younger.

You didn't torture her when you were growing up? No, we got along. She's also more athletic and coordinated. So anytime I'd be trying to be like, I'm the big bro, I would just get my ass kicked. I'm like, this is not worth it. I may as well just. Also a lesson to learn. Yeah.

Yeah. But we're, we're pals, but I had friends, this is not worth it. I may as well just, but, uh. Also a lesson to learn. Yeah. Yeah. But we're, we're pals, but I had friends, like, it seemed miserable, like friends, like two brothers that just hated each other. I'm like, that seems. Yeah. Awful. Yeah. I don't know if you have.

I definitely like. You had two brothers who hated him. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. I was, it was a real bully older brother. Oh, you were the bully? Yeah.

Until, until they, uh, grew to my size and then they made quick work. Yeah. Because there was two of them. I didn't do the math in my head that eventually they would team up. I just assumed they would both come over to my side and then we'd bully someone in the neighborhood. You guys went through puberty. Cool, now we're a team. Oh, stop hitting me.

Stop talking about puberty, Graham. I can't. It's so weird. This next one. And now look at you. You're the embodiment of puberty. I know. I go.

I speak to schools about it. They have me come in and scare kids straight. I only went through puberty from here to here and here to here. This next one comes from Ed G. Yesterday, I was joking around with my 10-year-old daughter, and she said to me, you're crazy. Like crazy Al Yankovic. Yeah, pretty good. Today, Weird Al Yankovic, for the home listener, we're recording this on the 2nd of March.

Yeah. Everyone knows the day that Red Sparrow came out. And it's also the day that Weird Al Yankovic put out the, he did a Hamilton medley. Yeah. I saw something about that. And, but like I watched

a bit of it and I was like, I don't know any of these songs. Yeah, see. But then you could click on and see Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jimmy Fallon's

reaction to it. I was like, why do I care about Jimmy Fallon's reaction to it? And was like, why do I care about Jimmy Fallon's reaction to it? And I watched it, and I really didn't care. Like, what does he have in this? Let me guess, he was filled with childlike glee? Yeah, and there were parts where he was like,

I called it. So Jimmy Fallon's down at the track making Weird Al bets? He knew Weird Al would go dun-dun-dun-dun-dun at some point. Show me a Jimmy Fallon reaction video where it's sheer horror. That's what I want to see.

Disgust. Yeah, where he's just kind of just nonplussed. He's just kind of like, eh, I guess that was alright. Unamused. This last one comes from Oliver B.

from Sanford, Florida. We were at a fine pizza establishment in small town sanford when i overheard a lady at the table say the following last night i had a nightmare i was in a pool filled with eggplants i don't know why it was a nightmare i love eggplants oh boy yeah that's pretty freudian yeah yeah i mean yeah is that entered the emoji freudian crossover thing so swimming around in a pool of eggplants i mean of the things to fill a pool with it's eggplants way to swim oh but the sound of those eggplants filling it oh so satisfying that as an expensive asmr video oh that i mean if that was a youtube channel oh just refill a pool with different things i'm like the michael bay of asmr videos i just go over the top like that's pretty good not i'm not a video, I'm not a guy who blows stuff up. I don't do slow motion, but I do really manly ASMR things.

Just listen to that engine purr. He went to a fine pizza establishment. Is that what he said? Yeah. So like not pizza hut. Can you go to a pizza hut anymore? A sit down pizza hut? I mean, I went to one a couple, like two years ago now, but it could be.

Like a brown. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're all like Korean churches and. Yeah. Like man, these Korean churches look like pizza. Oh, they were pizza.

Just pop a cross up on there. Ta-da. Church. I love it. I love it when you see like the failed. Failed pizza. Just pop a cross up on there. Ta-da. Church. I love it. I love it when you see like the failed architecture. Like I loved old

Taco Bells that look like little Iglesias. Yeah. Yeah. The blockbusters. That was another old joke too.

Like I love it when I see an actual Mexican restaurant move in to an old Taco Bell. Like they're taking it back. Like this is how the Alamo went down.

This is nature. This is the way the nature reclaims. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, it's no problem. Get a phone. Go to your, like, you got to get a contract too, I guess. Or get a burner call us from a burner

and let us know hey Dave Graham I'm calling from a burner the phone number is 1-844-779-7631 or 1-UGH-SPYPOD1 like these people have but a bunch of extras from the wire hi Dave Graham and probable guest Pod 1, like these people have. But a bunch of extras from The Wire. Hi, Dave Graham and probable guests. This is Nicole from Pittsburgh calling with an overheard.

I am stuck in traffic driving home during rush hour, and I just saw a lump on the side of the road on kind of like this, the raised shoulder, and when I got closer to it, I saw that it was a whole dead fish with a cigarette butt sticking out of its mouth.

Cool. Cool fish. Died doing what he loves, smoking. Managed to get that far out of the water. What a secret pleasure for a fish, though. You can't smoke underwater. That's right.

See you later, suckers. Last request of a dying fish. Can I just get a smoke? Most fish that died in World War II, their last words were their mom or can I have a cigarette. I don't know if you knew that. You know, a lot of people don't talk about the fish that died in world war ii their last words were their mom or can i have a cigarette i don't know if you knew that yeah you know a lot of people don't talk about the fish that died in world war ii but there was smoking kills a lot of people but it kills 100 of fish oh man coolest fish that and he was trying to evolve and they've never that's as far as that's they're like you know those meth ads meth ads. Meth, not even once. Yeah. For a fish, it's cigarettes, not even once.

I love... Was it hitchhiking? What was it? Like, what was the... That's fish that... She called from Pittsburgh. Maybe it was... That's not an ocean side city.

Maybe it was the fish from that Darwin bumper sticker. Oh, cool. With the feet. These legs will get me there. Yeah. Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham. It's Patrick Foy in Omaha. I was in church last week,

and a little kid in the front row near the end of Mass once everyone was getting up said to his mom very loudly, why is everyone so sad here? And his mom had been trying to keep him quiet all during church, and she said, nobody's sad here. And he pointed right

at me and said, he's sad. And she grabbed his arm and said, don't point at people. Kids know. Kids can tell. Why is everyone so sad? That guy's sad. He didn't say if he was sad or not. Yeah, that's true.

Maybe he was sad. Yeah. But also, the kids can, they have a sense. Maybe he's got a sad face. Yeah, he's got unfulfilled dreams. But also, like, if you're a kid in church, you know why everyone's sad. This place sucks. This used to be a pizza hut.

I just showed up here. But it is funny, like, that guy. That guy? He's sad. He's sad. Mom, I'm. That guy? He's sad. He's sad. Mom, I'm not wrong. That guy's sad. You don't usually get confronted by children about that.

Yeah, I'm going to go with Catholic Church, because that's not a fun place. Yeah. Like, I remember going to other churches. I was like, making jokes? People are laughing in here? Are we going to go to hell for laughing at this? Everyone was Lutheran or something. I'm like, no, this doesn't make you feel like you're going to die.

You should feel bad for everything that's ever happened in your life unless you repent right now. And there's also in the Catholic Church, it's very like we've got, there's a set. Oh, yeah. A list of things we're going to do. We've got to get through this thing. And we've got to call and repeat. And we've got to get through the blessing. It's got to be a chant.

Yeah. Morose droning music. it's not there's no uh there's no big choir at the catholic church i don't think are there no if they had choir it was not it was still not joyous songs it wasn't like maybe like high-pitched it wasn't like fun black church like fun black church it's like look how much fun black church is that's where i wear my uh yellow cardigan yeah your sunday cardigan yeah i'm not it's not so much uh i have fall colors than i have my black church colors yeah i got this cardigan from the steve harvey collection here's your final overheard. Hey, guys. I was at work, and I was passing by somebody's desk, and all of a sudden, the only part of this overheard I caught was

I really got to hunker down. I'm about to get into competitive magic. I love this show, guys. Competitive magic? I really got to hunker down. As if the magic game isn't competitive already. Wow. I mean, I would, that's honestly something I would love to see.

Yeah. Competitive magic. I would absolutely love to see. So is it like diving where you're assigned the same trick, but then it's style points, execution. Yeah. Or is it whether you can fool Penn and Teller into not knowing how you did it.

It's technically competitive magic. I would, like, honestly, if I was walking down the street and saw a flyer

that said competitive magic tonight, I'd be like, cancel my plan. I'll be the judge of that. It's in some

underground bunker. Yes. Like, people there's there's like vietnamese people screaming there's chickens running around this guy's got an eye patch and a revolver what's about to happen here oh man i uh yeah i really would uh i mean i don't know what it is i want to know i like magic just in and of itself. I'm delighted by it. Like it brings me childlike joy to sit and watch. I go to the magic castle a lot in LA. Yeah.

We don't have like, we don't have a dedicated magic space. Nowhere does. Nowhere does. I would never be like, like go and they're like, oh wait, this is a place where all the magicians, it's Hollywood. like go and they're like oh wait this is a place where all the magicians it's hollywood so there's every type of entertainer entertainer and they have a magic castle and it's a society of magicians yeah and you have to like if you want to go there as a non-magician you have to pay for their dinner and do all this stuff but if you become a member then you just drop by and anytime like somebody you want to go to magic castle absolutely yes yes yeah yeah and. Yeah, yeah. And you just, you get drunk.

You don't have to, but it's kind of also part of it. Everybody's wearing silly dress-up clothes. That's what they have opposed to it. Say you don't have to be drunk to hang out here. Let's be honest. I wasn't even looking at the game. Where did the ball go? I don't know.

And do they, there's stuff there like a fun, like a bookshelf door. Oh yeah, you got to say open sesame and the wall opens up and there's little stuff in there. That's kind of like an attraction, but then the bartender at one bar, I'll just be like, all right, bring together drinks and a wipe off the bar and just do magic for you right there. But every time I'm there, I'm trying, like I've been there enough. Like, okay, don't watch the hand. It's doing a thing.

Watch the other hand. And every time I'm like, God damn it. Yeah. I know how the world works and yet i leave there every time just filled with childlike what they do i love man yeah i do too have you ever tried magic is that interest you i don't think i need more hobbies i'm just saying actually my girlfriend my girlfriend, she said, she's like, I'm going to take magic classes. And I'm like, yes.

Cool. I could not be more enthusiastic. I wish my parents had put me in magic classes. Yeah. That'd be really magic. Coming up a story. I get to be the sequined assistant. Yeah, you can get sawed in half.

I am just on board. Yeah, think of like some sort of triple X magic show. Yeah, yeah. Saw your dick in half. That's exactly. I'm like, yeah, you put it in a little box. Oh, man. He's not wearing that clown nose the right way.

Well, that brings us to the end of this here episode. Kyle, thank you so much for being our guest. Always thanks. Always thanks for having me. And you have your own podcast. Yeah. Called? It's called The Boogie Monster.

It's real dumb. You know how you have like segments and professional equipment? We've got none of that. We don't really have segments. You've got the overheards. Yeah. We have an hour of bullshitting and then overheard. Yeah, it's just me and my buddy Dave try to talk about ghouls and goblins and bigfoots and aliens.

I've never asked anyone this. What is a goblin? What do you think a goblin is? It's a good coverall term for a scary ghost. Okay. You think it's like an apparition. A ghoul. Okay. You think it's like an apparition. A ghoul. Yeah.

I think of a goblin more as like a malicious gremlin type creature. Okay. What kind of, what, monster is such an easy term. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Goblin's more specific. A tiny, a tiny monster. A tiny monster. Hmm.

Yeah. I like it. Harmful or like. Oh yeah. Yeah. There's no like it. Harmful or like, Oh yeah. Yeah. There's no like, Oh, this goblin's pretty fun.

I mean like it, it has bad intentions, but does, is it capable of like, can it kill you? I mean, it's not real. I mean,

but it does have a wrench in a wad of money. Yeah. It's a case by case basis. Sure. You bring me a goblin. We'll decide what that goblin's all about. I'm not going to go judging all goblins. I feel like that person that showed up at your door

was a goblin. Could have been. You can't get arrested for being a goblin. There's no law against it. Not in our world, but in that bright world. No. Oh, yeah, no. They're members of the force.

And do you have anything else you would like to plug? No. Nah. Nah. I don't know what's going on. Yeah. You can find. I do comedy.

Yeah, you do comedy. Do you have any March Madness picks? For basketballs? Nah. The Globetrotters. Yeah. Globetrotters across the board. I pick Harvard. Basketballs? Nah. The Globetrotters. Globetrotters across the board.

I pick Harvard. And do we have anything? No, we're post-plug. Pretty soon it's going to be the MaxFunDrive. We can say that because we're part of the MaxFunNetwork. Check your wallet. If a moth doesn't fly out of it, then you should probably consider donating to the old show arena. And also, what happened to your pet moth? You probably have enough money to build it some sort of enclosure.

Oh, sure. Yeah, like a moth habitat. Just with, like, little cashmere sweaters. Oh, so nice. And, yeah, if you like this show, you can find us on Twitter at Stop Podcasting. You can find us on Facebook. You can find us just about anywhere you want to go online. We're there.

Yeah. McDonald's.com. We got a little avatar on there. Click on the shamrock. And if you like the show, please tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and Culture

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