Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 524 - Alicia Tobin

Episode Date: April 2, 2018

Your fave Alicia Tobin returns to talk about a doll that looks like her, fixing phones, and Michael Buble. It’s week 1 of #MaxFunDrive 2018. Support the show and become a member at maximum fun.org/donate. Thanks a lot!

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 524 of Stop Podcasting Yourself and week one of the MaxFunDrive where you, the listener, if you like the show, you can join up with us, start a membership, contribute to the show, and we'll tell you all about that, what you get, what you can do, how to do it. Yeah, we'll get to to it but all you need to know is we do this show 52 weeks a year two of those weeks we ask you to whip it out yeah yeah

yeah your wallet that is and that that gentleman who's telling you to whip it out your wallet that is is mr dave chumka yeah i i mean to be fair about eight a year, we ask you to whip it out. Full stop. And our guest this week, a longtime favorite guest of the podcast, comedian, co-ghost of her own podcast, Retail Nightmares, it's Alicia Tobin. Hello, bumpers, and hi, Dave and Graham. Thanks for having me to the podcast. You're welcome. It is lovely to see your lovely and kind faces again. Hello, bumpers, and hi, Dave and Graham. Thanks for having me to the podcast. You're welcome.

It is lovely to see your lovely and kind faces again. Yeah, it's nice to see your face. Yeah, it's nice because we only see you once a year. Yeah. And usually I see you wearing some sort of mask. Yes. Yeah, I see you. You're like Michael Jackson in a shopping mall. Yeah.

Sometimes I just have a blanket over my face. And then someone holds me over a balcony. Holding myself over a balcony? I get someone to do it for me. Oh, sure. Shug Knight. It's like a rebirth. I forgot that he did that.

Oh, man. I think about it all the time when I'm holding my own baby. I'm like, well, I'm like, because I didn't think it was that big a deal at the time. I'd never held a baby. Yeah. I was like, oh, he's got a hold on this baby. So what? Yeah, so what?

He's showing it off to the paparazzi. He's giving the people what they want. That was really weird. I won't even let my dog, like, jump too close to the edge of the balcony. Don't push me. Because I'm close to the air. So, dang it. And yes, it's rap.

Oh, should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Alicia, you grew up in the inner city. Rapping. Yeah. Just to get by. Yeah.

Rapping for change. Well, I never learned to rap, to be honest. Oh, so you're self taught Yeah I didn't take any classes No Right Did you do

You did rap battles When that was a thing In this city Right I did it with Dave What did you guys do Bond cop versus bad cop Yeah

Pretty good I mean the premise Was funnier than the raps I mean that was the case I say, 50% of the time. It was like, ah, this is really great. Like, we'll get a lot of cheers when we come out on stage at the beginning. That's about it. Did somebody do the next door neighbor Wilson from Home Improvement and Wilson the Volleyball? I think so. I feel like that was Wilson versus Wilson.

It was probably better than ours. Did you know anybody who rapped growing up or was that i feel like maybe no but i know people that are really into like hip-hop dance yeah i knew a lot of break dancers yeah oh nice i didn't know any break dancers but I knew people who fancied themselves like a freestyle rapper. So uncomfortable. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, and you still do know a guy who fancies himself a freestyle rapper. Give me a beat.

And you're pretty good with the ride. Because it's the Max Fun Drive, and we're trying to survive. Everybody, give me five if you want to stay alive, y'all. Take it it Alicia. And if you want to stay alive and you want to drive, then something and licorice whips. Close enough.

Something weird happened in my high school though. Okay. Someone rapped to death? Someone did. There was that. The principal came on the intercom and started rapping. All the kids started. But he had been possessed by a voodoo curse. Was the explanation.

There was this whole wearing leather Africa McDallians that became popular. And listening to only Peter Tosh and Bob Marley, there's this really cool group of guys. They sound cool. They were all white kids. French. Yeah, there were all white kids. French? Um, yeah, there was some, definitely some overlap, uh, there with French kids and English kids and they only listened to reggae and wore these, uh, African medallions. Cool.

Yeah. Well, good for them. Who were the great, uh, Quebecois rappers? Oh, uh, Mitsu. Yeah. I remember there was a guy who was like, he was a rapper, rapper,

chic. His name was chic? No, he called himself a rapper chic. Like that's how he described himself. Uh, his name was Le Boyfriend. Oh,

he sounds good. He was sort of like, I would say note for note, a French Marky Mark. Not a French Snow? No. Oh. No, there was only one Snow, and he was English. Or something. I'm not sure what he was.

He was maybe wearing an Africa medallion. Oh, yeah. And we were all fine with that as a country. So, what's going on with you lately? Well, I'm working on a book. Oh, yeah. Charlie Demers is going to edit it for me. And so that's taking up a lot of time.

Launching a new podcast soon with previous guest Kevin Lee called Young and Sick. It's a funny cod past about being dick. Funny cod past. About being sick. So that a funny, uh, funny cod past about being dick. Funny cod past. About being sick. Uh, so that's going to launch in April and I hope you guys listen to it. And gotta go. What's,

um, what's that, what you're, it's about being young and sick. Yeah. And growing up sick. Well, like finding out you're sick,

uh, when, you know, most of your peers aren't and kind of living with a diagnosis of some sort. What was yours? I have a thyroid disease and I found out when I was like in my early 30s and my feet are very cold. My hands are very cold. Yeah.

And Kevin has AFib. So he has an irregular heartbeat. Yeah. That he has to reset. But you guys didn't know this as kids though. No. Are you taking apart the premise of our podcast? I'm just seeing about.

I guess, yes, I am. I should have known. Well, like, when you told me about it, I was like, oh, yeah, I know they have those things. But do they have something else? Like, I know you have big glasses. Looks like you have a wonky eye. I have a real wonky eye. so that's that i don't want to talk about it anymore it's they've made me mad um i was an honest question i just have a mean face

and when i asked that was that was his early diagnosis oh yeah the doctor said there's nothing you can do you just gotta have to live your life with this mean face i mean try and smile once in a while yeah and uh that's all we can do you know just one day at a time uh you ever see um uh there was like a clip of the documentary about the dana carvey show and how they promoted it uh after a very special episode of home improvement where he the kid gets a diagnosis it's very sad and then and then it's and then after that the hires root beer dana carvey it was anyways maybe you had to be there anyways it sounds good yeah yeah yeah yeah um what was the diagnosis? He had to take a pill every day for the rest of his life.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what kind of pill? Jelly bean. Molly. He was diagnosed frigid. Oh. Yeah, I know.

Yeah. Did they show it in every episode from then on, him taking one pill? That's how they opened it up. It was canon. Yeah. Oh, he's going to survive. And then Tim invented, you know, every week he'd invent some way to shoot the pill into his kid's mouth. I guess he would.

Yeah. Is that the noise he made? No, it was close. Like a dog pretending to be Santa Claus? How was it? Like a dog who to be Santa Claus how was it like a dog who's been programmed into a keyboard oh right

yeah that was one of them I mean he had a few more power more white power I know it's crazy oh my god

but it was like people talk about how you know uh friends was so homophobic yeah

in the 90s uh but it was just reflecting how homophobic society was no one at the time was like this is too homophobic

no and like the white power thing the white power thing on home improvement. No one noticed. Yeah, exactly. And everybody was fine with it.

And you know what? When I catch it in a rerun, I'm like, oh, yeah. What? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Finally, a show about my struggle. I also recently bought a doll that looks exactly like me. What?

I know this is a really weird story, that looks exactly like me. What? I know this is really a weird story, but I had a coworker who lives far away, like near Toronto. We've met only a handful of times, sent me a message. She's like, there's a doll for sale on like my local buy and sell that looks a lot like you.

And I was like, ah! And I thought at first, you know, I don't know if this has happened to you guys. You're both very handsome men, I'm sure, and people draw comparisons. They're just gorgeous. But every once in a while, someone's like, you look like this person. And then they just show me, like, somebody I do not think is cute. You know, universally, when I get a comparison, it's always not. It's just another guy in a beard and hat.

Yeah, exactly. So it's never complimentary. So a beard and hat yeah exactly so it's never complimentary so she sent me a picture like i have a picture that like a headshot from the book that i wrote a few years ago and a picture of this doll and i was like holy shit this doll really looks like me she's like it's five dollars do you want to buy it i was like and i didn't know why i don't know why i felt like i had to have it because i'm not a doll person. I don't like dolls. I do like little cute, kitschy things and stuff, but not dolls. And this is a porcelain doll that looks like me.

Weird. Have you received it? And I have it here today. Oh, is that what's in the can? Okay, so Alicia showed up before the show with a box, like a mail, like a parcel. Yeah. And said, oh, this is, and we were like, don't tell us. Tell us on the air.

So let's whip it out. Yeah. All right. So we ask our listeners to whip it out. We're going to ask you to whip it out too. But it's also a very. Is that what's in the box? Yeah.

So the box itself has a. Is that what's in the box? So the box itself has a... It's like a little... It's a girl in a raincoat. And... Oh, my. Wow. It's not small either.

No. And it does look like you. Yes. It looks so much like me. You make the face that it's making. I see it. Wow. But are you, is this going to inspire you to have bangs again?

Yeah. I mean, I do look great with bangs. The doll looks great with bangs. It's just so weird. But then as soon as I received it, I was like, oh, fuck. I do not want this in my life at all. Can I hold it? It's so weird.

Yeah. And the hands are all. I haven't unwrapped it. Hey. How you doing, little buddy? Oh, you're big. You're so big. Yeah.

The hands are wrapped up like a kid that scratches itself in its sleep. And there's a bunch of tiny little ducks that go around her. Oh, those ducks? Yeah, the ducks. Everything's in there. Oh, wow. This has never been played with. No.

How is this only five bucks? I know. Shipping was pretty expensive, though. I didn't know. She's like, I'll just pop it in the mail for you, and you can just pay me back. And I was like, so it went up to $40 pretty quickly. Yeah, yeah. And I don't want it.

But what are you going to do with it now? As soon as I got it, I just shoved it in the closet. And it's been looking at you through the opening in the closet ever since. I guess I just wanted to, I don't know, like, you know, when you're a kid, you kind of want things that look like you. Yeah. And I always wanted dolls with brown hair and they're hard to come by. And certainly not a lot of stuff you know like representation is important but i'm sure most white kids would agree we have enough dolls that look like us

do you have a yellow do you have a yellow i have had that exact raincoat yeah yeah yeah it's also the outfit that really yeah it's very much your aesthetic why don't we like when you bought it how, how much had you thought it through as to where you were going to put it? I knew for a fact that I would not have it on display. So it's in your closet? Yeah. Your bedroom closet? Yeah.

Can it kind of see you while you sleep? No. It can't. It can't, yeah. No, guys. No, no, no. Did you wrap up its hands so it can't work the locks? Now, are these, is this like the eyes open and closed?

I don't know. I've never really looked at it. Really, as soon as I got it, I was like, what have I done? Scare it. Just scare it. We'll see if it blinks. I don't think so. No, the eyes don't close.

Well, I, yeah, those are the windows to the soul, all right. Having something like that is now, you know, like if ever something was to happen and people needed to go through your closet, they're going to find this and what are they? Your grandkids are going to be like, grandma was weird. Or my next boyfriend. Yeah. What's more likely? Oh, I feel so sad. No.

No. Why? Because I feel like, Dave, it's not just your face that's mean. Yeah, you're really quite mean. Yeah, I know. I can't turn it off. You could. If you took a pill every day.

I guess. I bet that's basically what the diagnosis would be. Just take this pill every day. Let's just medicate him. Is that a universal thing that if you saw something that looked like somebody, you would contact them and be like, I took a picture or you should have this? Or is that? I think a picture is enough. A picture.

Yeah. Especially in this day and age where you meet a celebrity and you just take a picture with them. You don't need their autograph anymore. Or you don't need to fly them out to meet your friend Alicia. But the, yeah, is autograph culture, is that dead? I don't know. People must still like to do that. Yeah, I think.

For like, if you have like a record, an LP. Yeah. Okay. You go to a concert and you bring a, you know, a silver Sharpie. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever, when you were younger, did you ever get anybody's autograph or try to? I think I had the intention, but never went anywhere as a kid.

Never went to any performances or anything of interest. Yeah. Just basically stayed by myself. You were just young and thick. Yeah. Yeah. But you didn't know it yet. No.

I just had a wonky eye. What? Did you have to get surgery for your eye? Yeah. Like old-timey kind of surgery? Old-timey, like right into the back of the eye. From the back of the head? Yeah.

With a tiny, like, kind of, like a wine opener. Yeah, yeah, yeah. According to them. They're like, this is going to be loud. This is what they used to do to the pharaohs. Just a big bucket of sawdust. I was going to say coleslaw

I didn't stop the coleslaw while they're doing the operation the surgeon's like by the way I'm miming cutting of a steak he's just humming Pharaoh, Pharaoh

Whoa Let my people go free That song from Christian Camp Oh really? Oh yeah You guys didn't sing Pharaoh, Pharaoh? No No, we sang the Johnny Appleseed song

Which had overtones of religiosity Yeah Lord is good to me. And so I thank the Lord for giving me the things I need. The sun and the rain and the apple seed. The Lord is good to me. Johnny Appleseed. Amen.

That's the only part I know. Although apparently once as a kid I was asked to say grace, and I just sang that. That's adorable. This was before I knew I was mean to say grace and I just sang that. That's adorable. This was before I knew I was mean. That's the two sides of you. So sweet and adorable

and so mean that you get a few minutes into a podcast and want to leave. Podcast after podcast. We've talked about going over to a friend's house for dinner

and then grace happens. And that being very like, well, why wasn't I, you couldn't have told me up as we walked into the house that this was going to happen?

It used to happen at my last job. What? Yes, which is against Canadian law. Before meals or before the workday? Yeah, before shared meals. Oh, right. Cake, birthday cake. We'd have to say grace to get cake. You have before shared meals. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cake, birthday cake. We'd have to say grace to get cake.

You have to say grace before cake? Yeah. Grace before cake. Make sure it's fake. Cake before grace. You know your place. Grace under fire. I'd rather watch The Wire.

Wire before grace. You know your place. Shut both of your faces. Yeah, so like was grace... Watch the wire. Oh. Wire before grace. You know your place. Shut both of your faces. Yeah. So, like, was grace, because I've seen people at, you know, like McDonald's saying grace. Really devout. Yeah. But for some reason, I thought it was only home meals were.

And then once you were on the road, it was like. My family was Grace every night Except Outside the house Oh Okay You were a Grace Oh yeah

Oh okay I think we would do it We would take Grace around the Holidays Uh huh And usually it was somebody We'd farm it out to Some other family

Someone You know a good Grace? You know any Graces? Would you hold hands? No, no. I hated that part. Holding hands with strangers? Or at church when you'd have to like shake hands and say peace be with you and also with you.

Yeah. You didn't like it? No. Was this Catholic church? Yeah. Yeah. I just felt shy and I wasn't, you know, I was young. I wasn't sure of myself and I didn't know these people.

And church sucks. And church really sucks and you want to be home and you want to take your kilt off and you're like, why do I own a kilt? Yeah. Stuff like that. Tell me about it. I'm not even Scottish. Yeah. Do you have specific church clothes?

Oh, yeah. Like, absolutely. And I wasn't a teenager that was allowed to express myself in, like, cool ways, like by getting a ton of earrings or, you know. Africa. The Africa medallion. Yeah. So you expressed yourself through dance? I danced a lot.

I did a lot of voguing. Okay. Oh, yeah. I was, like, totally, like, split up up the dance floor and I was really good at it. Did you ever dance and people formed a circle around you and they were all dancing and clapping? Totally. Go Alicia. Go Alicia.

And everybody would like vogue and we would vogue. Yeah. It was that time in life. It was that time of year. It was the vogue season. Yeah. The was that time in life. It was that time of year. It was the Vogue season. Yeah. The whole September issue. Is Vogue just hands around your face?

Yeah. I don't think we really knew what we were doing. I'm sure if they had dropped us into any adult nightclub, we would have looked like fucking idiots. Dave's Vogue. But we felt really cool. It's fun. It's fun.'s fun it's fun yeah um yeah because there's a weird thing that like you're a little kid and then all of a sudden you uh when there were school dances you were just supposed to know how to dance all of a sudden well and they would teach you sometimes

in school they'd try to teach you like square dancing and line dancing, but you're not doing that to poison. But yeah, I remember the first couple dances, like kids really just kind of like punching the air or like doing some kind of weird jig. Yeah, you don't really know what to do. Yeah, and you certainly don't know how to dance with somebody from the opposite sex. So the sex you're interested in. Yeah. I had no idea that whole time that boys had like boners and stuff when they're dancing with us. Not just when they were dancing with you. Yeah.

During math class. Yeah. When it was windy. A tree that looked like a boob. Sometimes trees would look like they had boobs. It's true. A tree that had a lump on it that looked like it had one boob. Boing, oing, oing.

Yeah. And your teenage lizard brain, it's like, that's good enough to fly. We'll take it. I just got to go to church quickly to punish myself for this um do you remember your first school dance i can remember yeah but it was this is such a dumb story so um i really hope I haven't told this one before, but I think my first, like,

high-stakes school dance was grade five. So, pretty young. Yeah, high-stakes. But I had been transferred to, it felt,

I didn't have any friends, really. I had moved from the town that I'd grown up into, a new town, and everyone had grown up together and it was kind of hard to break in.

And I didn't, I didn't really, I look back and I'm like, oh, it's because you weren't fun to hang out with. That's why, like I was always like trying to be so funny. And I was loud and, you know, obnoxious. And at the same time, like terrified of math. So I just disappear. Yeah.

That's like for 30 minutes. I'm like, well, I'm not going to math. I most definitely had a learning disability that had not been addressed. But it was a Halloween dance. And it was a real dance, like at lunch hour, where there's like decorations and everyone got dressed up. Wait a minute. It was a real dance. At lunch hour.

Well, I hadn't been to anything like that before. And there was a lot of cute boys in my grade. Well, they were in cute boy masks. that before and there was a lot of cute boys in my grade. Well, they were in cute boy masks. Yeah, they had the freckles drawn on and rosy red cheeks. They were a lot of raggedy antics. What are you for Halloween? I'm a cute boy. So there were a lot of cute boys. And at that time, my mom would just let us watch whatever she was watching. And there was this, the only undercover like cops when I was a kid on TV were, that were women, were always dressed up as prostitutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I can't remember the name of the show, but the star was an ex-football player.

So in the, like the 80s. Was it Hunter? Yes. And he, and I think the other lead's name was Stephanie something. Hunter. Stephanie something. Hunter. Stephanie Hunter. And she was his partner, but she was always undercover as a prostitute. Now they would say sex worker.

And so, and they used to call her a hooker in the show. She was dressed up as a hooker. Right. So my mom was like, what do you want to be for Halloween? And I was like, ah. In my head, I was like, what do you want to be for Halloween? And I was like, ah. In my head, I was like, a hoko. And I was like, a punk. So she took me to Walmart to buy cheap high-heeled boots.

And I put on a mini skirt. And I teased my hair. And I sprayed it. I looked just like the hair in the show. Everything else looked like a child. And then she's like, is this what punk is? And I'm like, yup. And then when I got to school and the kids who did not like me

asked me what my outfit was, I was like, I'm an undercover police officer. I'm dressed as the hooker. My only friend that year was Mark Fahey. Wherever you are in the world, Mark,

thank you for being my friend. Aw. What was he dressed as? Was he dressed as was he dressed as Hunter I feel like he was dressed as the Hulk he would have

worn a sports jacket maybe a knit tie I remember Hunter very well it was on Saturday nights yeah I just

and I never watched it I was like this is too much what did I hear about it there was something about underwear

like he his penis was too visible through his pants and he had to be told to wear underwear he had to wear something about underwear. Like he, his penis was too visible through his pants. Oh. And he had to be told to wear underwear. He had to wear a special,

special broadcast. He was a really tall guy so there's probably like a wardrobe situation. Because wasn't that the same, same thing? Jon Hamm?

They said that he also had to wear underwear because he was, he was making the show too good. Free wheeling. Mm-hmm. Handsome fella. Is it hot?

Here. John Hobbs. Take off your raincoat. I move my ducks a bit further away from me. When you start sweating, the doll starts sweating. Hey Alicia, there's this doll that

that i i don't know if you want me to send you but it's dressed like a hooker and when you cry it cries oh that's what i've been up to guys oh how's the Hank? Hank is good. I guess the last time I was on here, he was still like a wild biting puppy. Yeah. And he's calmed down a lot. Yeah, he's a wolf. Yeah. Wow.

I want my money back. Hank got hurt last summer and he's been in rehab ever since. So that's been interesting. Yeah. They put him in a tank of water and make them walk on a, I've seen the video. It's pretty cute. Make them walk on a treadmill underwater. Oh yeah.

Yeah. I've seen that. I haven't seen the video, but I've seen that. There's a place over on Venables that does it. Is that where you go? No, we go to like a vet. Oh, you don't go to the. Just the place.

I saw it. I was like, that is so much closer. Yeah. The thing about that place that's a super bummer is like, A, it's an amazing clinic, but it's also a 24-hour vet. So if anything happens to your beloved pet in the middle of the day and you don I get to relive that trauma of what it's like to lose a pet. Yeah. And no end in sight. He has to go see a new specialist next week because he hasn't gotten any better.

So my life's kind of been like a pretty Hank centered for the past year. Yeah. But he's a great dog. But now that you got this doll. Yeah. Guys, what should I do with this dog? Has Hank met this doll? No.

Oh, I think you got to give the doll to Hank. Yeah. Or this doll needs to get a Hank of its own. Okay. I think that might be easier. Look, first you have to do, if you're going to get rid of the doll, you have to do a photo shoot where you're wearing the same outfit.

Yeah. And maybe a series of outfits. I was thinking of maybe doing like a sketch with it. I think, I think you're new. Like showing up on stage with it. Like a headshot

should be you in the same outfit as this doll. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And then you'll accidentally get hired for a lot

of ventriloquism gigs. Oh, yeah. That weird kind of ventriloquism gigs. Oh yeah. That weird kind of ventriloquism act where the dummy and the person are the same. You know what I'm thinking. Stop asking. We're always finishing.

Each other's sentences. That's like that joke of yours that was so funny. Oh boy, I remember. remember yeah when you did jokes um i remember i did a gig once uh it was very last minute because the person couldn't get across the border and uh when i showed up the guy was like okay what do you do and i was like uh this is not gonna go well i like, I'm a comedian? And he goes, because the guy we had last year, we were bringing him back this year, was a ventriloquist. And they were just, people were so keyed up, ready for ventriloquism.

Why? I guess, you know, that puppet says real nasty things. Was it Jeff Dunham that couldn't show up? It was Jeff Dunham. Yeah. And his pickle on a stick or jalapeno on a stick, I guess.

And so they got you instead. I thought it was going to be like, so what do you do? Because the last guy who was here last year does, he was a juggling, ventriloquist,

hypnotist, penis puppeteer. Oh man. Have you guys seen that live? The Penistry of the Puppets? The Ministry of the Penis? Yeah. The Hamburglar's of the Testicles.

Everyone's like, he makes it into a hamburger. And I'm like, why? Why? No, I've never seen it. Oh, yeah, that's the other thing I do a lot of. And I blame Aunt Sheila and Abby is I started watching Outlander. Okay. What is Outlander?

Let me explain it to you, because I don't know either. It's about a time-traveling lady who wants to fuck a guy. Is this close? They fuck. Through time? They fuck all the time. But, like, they're from two different times? I've only seen the first season.

Right. And I don't, I know there's four seasons, which I find very surprising because there's not a lot of writing. Right. There's not a lot of story.

The books are thick. Well, something else is. As hunters did. So, wait, is it about time travel? It is. It is about time travel? It is.

It is about time travel, but it's not. It's all set in the 18th century Scotland for the most part. So there's not a lot of science-y, fun gimmicky time travel stuff. Right. She's just there and she's in a smart, you know, power suit. She shows up in what looks like a slip because it's just, she's from the 1940s. And so she was an undercover old-timey

prostitute. Yeah, so I've been watching that. And she goes back in time to fuck a Scottish guy? No, no, but she does end up fucking a Scottish guy. They're both in real life. Both actors are models. They're both beautiful humans. That's not a bad idea though for a show that's kind of like quantum leap where it's just like every week the time traveler goes back and like tries to seduce somebody

he's gonna have to fuck my way out of this oh boy Oh, boy. Yeah, that's not a bad. I could see, like, you know, if, like, Hustler was like, we're going to do some digital online programming. Sort of like, you know. It's really kind of like a social movement, like, and it goes back to the civil rights movement. Yeah. And while he's there.

Yeah, sure. The backdrop. The 45 minutes of a sex scene and then at the very end. He's got to have sex before the Hindenburg goes down.

Yeah, or it doesn't go down. Yeah. Ah. Hmm. What? Ah, yeah,

that's fine. I haven't, uh, not since, uh, I'm trying to think if i've watched a show just because i thought somebody in the show was very good looking yeah no i just end up i see the show and then i'm like i'm just gonna follow that lady on instagram yeah i thought that i don't know that i like the show, but what happens before they do sex is that you somehow make an investment. You're like, I'm six episodes in.

I think I messaged Abby and Sheila, and I was like, I'm mad at both of you. I watched seven episodes before they did it. And I don't feel like I have three more seasons of these shenanigans. It's four seasons? It's a very popular show, apparently. But I do think that it's because they're just so attractive. Yeah. I don't feel like a good person.

I feel like that's what I do with reality shows. I'll watch a reality show and I'll be like, I'm rooting for the attractive one. And when they get voted off, I'm like, I don't like this show anymore. I don't care what your alliance is. You voted off Kiki. Couldn't think of a woman's name. Yeah, Kiki's one of the more common ones. The only reality shows that I watch are ones where the competitors are only there for that episode.

Right. Like, you know, Cutthroat Kitchen or something like that. Or Tattoo Disasters. Oh, man. Bar Rescue. Oh, Bar Rescue. 90 Day Fiance. Oh, now they're the same contestants the whole season.

Yeah, that's true. That's an excellent show. And this past season, there was a very good-looking person, which was kind of like for the first time. Which one? The girl with the giant mouth. And the fucked up eyes. She was really good looking. The Christian. Ingrown hair.

The Christian singer. Yes. Yeah. She's a Christian. Did she do Johnny Appleseed? Yeah, but like this. No, I'm Johnny Appleseed. They showed her singing and it was wild.

Like a ghost. She sang, I am like a ghost. And then her lover was like, she's amazing. And we're like, she sounds like a bird. But he was, what was he, like 28 or something? And she was 18. Yeah. Oh. And he was, what was he like, 28 or something? And she was 18. Yeah. Oh.

And he was, where did she, lived in Virginia or something like that, some weird, where was he from? Spain? Yeah.

Oh, from Maine to Spain they should call it. That's weird. Isn't it usually the man bringing over a younger? Yeah,

there's definitely been a few. Usually the same age, not a, like a fixed, the man bringing over a younger person? Yeah, there's definitely been a few. Usually the same age, not a fixed, not a creepy arrangement. Right. But there was an older lady. 50% are real,

50% are, oh yeah. There was an older lady that brought over a very young. For people who don't know what 90 Day Fiance is. It's a very good show.

It's a very good show. Graham and I have seen every episode. And it's, if you meet somebody in another country, if you're from America and you want to get married to them, you can bring them to America for 90 days on a K-1 visa. Which is just three months. And then you, but you have to get married at the end of that 90 days or the person is sent out of the country. And can't come back. Yeah.

I think you'd have to marry them and then bring them back into the country in a much longer process. Yeah. So these are supposedly couples, but then. We had some favorites too. Now is it too late to go back for this joke? What about a canine visa? I met a real nice German shepherd.

Yeah. Anyways, it's, but there is a lot of of like were you somebody that they found in a catalog or is this uh there's those like there a few years ago there was a doctor who looked like a california raisin uh he's so old and but so cool yeah he was always playing the honking on the saxophone i'm sorry he wasn't cool like a california raisin he was like a white honking on the saxophone. I'm sorry. He wasn't cool like a California raisin. He was like a white raisin that had rolled under the couch. And at some point he became a doctor. What's your favorite grape?

What's your favorite grape? This is a weird show. Yeah, I like it. What is my favorite grape? Green. Yeah, you're it. What is my favorite grape? Green. Yeah. You're not allergic to grapes? Yeah, I don't eat them, but I think if I had to.

Sorry for laughing. If I had to pick a grape. Yeah, seedless green. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Mine's a Concord. What's that?

Or Coronation. The little kind of Welch's grape juice flavored kind. They're locally, they grow here in the Okanagan. They're delicious. If you don't know Alicia's podcast, Retail Nightmares, it has developed a lot of segments as you have sort of, you've told every story you can from your days in retail. Am I wrong?

Well, you're not wrong, but you're not right. Sure. But you have developed segments that have nothing to do with retail. Totally. Such as, what's your favorite grape? When was the last time you used a microwave? And chuglin or honkin' on bobo? Honkin' on bobo.

Yeah. And there was a... How much have you spent on the red hot chili peppers? That's right. Click it or ticket. What is that? It's when you get to give a ticket to somebody you just don't like okay for driving badly uh where's did we say where's present

from a family member oh that yeah you still do that yeah i mean that's a tough one because you have to put your relationships on the line yeah yeah yeah i did the red hot chili peppers one on the line you spent a lot of money. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, I was a young man in the 90s. Yeah. You bought albums by the Red Hot Chili Peppers? I bought.

I had a t-shirt. I had a patch on my jacket. Was it the design? It was the design, but it had an octopus climbing over it. Why not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I bought Anthony Kiedis' book. Oh, yeah. How to Put a Sock on Your Ding Dong? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I bought Anthony Kiedis' book. Oh, yeah. How to Put a Sock on Your Ding Dong.

Yeah, yeah. Well, that was a thing because they got that from Hunter. The censors were like, well, you know what? You're showing too much of your ding dongs. We're going to have to put some undergarment on it. For the Christmas episode, you can put a stocking on it. That'll be fine. Oh, man. I wish the Red Hot

Jolly Pervers had a show like The Monkees. Oh, so do I! You know what? It's not too late because they could do an animated one where they have to always get to the gig. Yeah, and they're always naked wearing those catchphrases. Hey, put a towel down

oh man uh now before we get to know dave yeah well let's talk a little bit about this max fun the reason for the season now every show onum Fun is supported by your donations. That's how we make this show. That's how we are able to talk into microphones and buy food. Yeah, buy food. And we do this show every week. And we are able to give the guest a little bit of a little taste. You do give me a bit of coke.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you rub it on your gums to make sure it's the good stuff. Yeah. And then I'm like, I'm an undercover cop. Oh, no. She was dressed like a hooker. And the reason we take two weeks every year is so we don't have to pester you for money every week. Hey, pay up, buddy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just, we do it public broadcasting style. It's two weeks of our best stuff. And then we ask you to be generous enough to consider making a monthly contribution and becoming a member of the Max Fund family. And it's really easy to do. All you have to do is go over to MaximumFund.org slash donate. There's a button there. If you're a new member, just enter some information.

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let us push you off the fence, into the yard of membership and how are we gonna do that um just by showing you all the neat things that you can uh you can get yeah uh you know making the fence real uncomfortable shaking it back knowing that wilson is on the other side of that fence to give you advice and show you his gnarled face. So, yes, thank you, everyone, for donating. And, yeah, well, back to the show. Yeah.

Dave, what's going on with you? Oh, no, I don't know. Here's what's going on with me. Yeah. Got in a big fight with a phone company. Oh, no. That's not true. Just trying to make it seem bigger than it is.

No, I had my phone. I couldn't make phone calls on it, which doesn't. Kind of okay. Kind of okay. Except that I have parents. Yes. And they're like, we don't text. Yeah. We don't want to communicate with you by text. So they would be like, why don't text We don't want to communicate with you by text

So they would be like, why don't you answer your phone? And if I did, they would just hear hissing Maybe that would be fine for them Mostly because I got a bunch of snakes I was noticing there were more snakes around here than before We got a couple black mambas up there Yeah, I'm having kind of a midlife crisis. And this is the form it's taking.

Snakes. That would be so bad. Why? Because of my family? Yeah, the babies. Yeah. Although, you know. The dog.

Maybe that's how they get to know nature. Because they get to play with as many snakes as they want. Oh, yeah. If they behave themselves. Fearless. Yeah. If you do your homework, young lady, there's no snake play for you. How long does one of those big snakes live?

Oh, like a big python? Like what Slash owns. Oh, I think a long time. Don't these lizards? I actually don't know. I'm thinking of parrots. They're tubes. I don't know anything about tubes. Yeah, I think a long time. Don't these lizards? I actually don't know. I'm thinking of parrots. They're tubes. I don't know anything about tubes.

Yeah, that's true. Tube animals. I know. Yeah. You don't see anyone when you're going to the dog crematorium once a week. You don't see people dropping off their snakes. Their anaconda. It takes like five people to bring them in.

They're like, he has a fever. They have to put them on one of those party sub trays. They have a thermometer, but it's so big. It has to go all the way through his butt. Now stick your tongue out. He's losing his skin is that normal it would be cool if you got

if you were a snake you'd give it tattoos and it would just they would just come off later yeah oh yeah Slash is probably giving a snake a few tattoos

I mean you would have like in their ears if they got lost so they microchip them and tattoo them. Yeah, it's your snake microchip. Oh, man. Do you think Slash still has snakes or he's outgrown them?

I think Slash still has snakes. Yeah. He's a strange guy. Probably tarantulas and scorpions. He just keeps them all in his hair. It's a weird thing where you're like, I want to be the famous snake guy. Yeah. And then, you know, you're super rich and no one's really weird thing where you're like, I want to be the famous snake guy. And then, you know,

you're super rich and no one's really paying attention to you anymore. I can flush all these snakes, right? It's the only way to dispose of them. This anaconda's going to take a lot of flushes. The plumber asks,

were you flushing something weird down here? No. And then the plumber asks Were you flushing something weird down here? No And then the plumber dies Or they never hear from the plumber again You weren't flushing a rattle down here, were you? No Maybe It's not a rattlesnake if that's what you're asking

He just plugs in his guitar and starts playing Mr. Slash, I have some questions Don't you think that you need somebody? Don't you think that you need somebody? Don't you think that you need someone? He's so good at guitar. He is. He really is. So my phone, my hissing phone, I went to the Apple website.

It's an iPhone. Oh, nice. iPhone 6S, the last one with a uh like headphone jack oh yeah dropped it again uh so i refuse to upgrade because i don't want those weird things out of my ear they're bonkers it'd be nice if they had like if you could get different ones that were kind of like dangly like jangly oh yeah or hoops yeah yeah or just get different ones that were kind of like dangly, like jangly earrings. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Or hoops.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just like big feathers. That's just also, you know. Like Mr. T's? Yeah. That would be cool. Like Dr. Dre sort of has the market cornered. Yeah.

On celebrity headphones. But I think Mr. T could make a charge for it. Oh, that would be the best if his best if his late in life contribution was that he made the best earbuds. With feathers hanging down. And so I went to the website and I clicked on how to get this thing fixed

and they said, take it to this store and here's an appointment and go. But my friend was like, just take it to this store and here's an appointment and go. And, uh, but my friend was like, just take it to this like black marketplace. And they'll put it somewhere. Yeah. So I went to the Apple store, uh, and they were like, oh, this piece cannot be replaced. We cannot fix this one piece of your phone.

Right. And so they will, uh, we can offer you a full phone replacement for $400. Oh my God. Oh, that was phone. Right. And so they will, we can offer you a full phone replacement for $400. Oh my God. Oh, that's a deal. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that is good. Yeah, that's a, that's a real sweetheart deal. And so I was like, thank you for your time. I drove downtown

and went to the black marketplace and it was done in an hour for 50 bucks. And I bet you, you picked up a mogwai while you were there. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. All sorts of curios you could pick from. We can fix your phone and we've got this cursed, I mean, it's just a regular monkey paw.

But yeah, I've never gone to, well, you saw that there's a smashed iPad down here. Yeah. I have a lot of questions about what happened to the studio in the past year. It didn't look like this a year ago.

Shit is sliding off the radar. A few months ago, I went, Margo dropped that we had a really old iPad that just she would watch YouTube on. Just she would watch YouTube on and, you know, like she would get in the blockchain and mine Bitcoin from. I don't know how it works, but she's smart. And she kept dropping it. And finally, like the screen just went pink and green. I was like, this is your last drop. And so you could still watch videos,

but they were just those two colors, which made it very hard to watch. The Joker. I know he's purple and green, but that's her favorite character. That's why she's so serious. Daddy, why so serious? So I was like, this was a super old iPad. iPads are a lot of money to replace.

Yeah. So, I went online and I saw a tutorial on how to fix this one thing. It's just one tiny, like one connection is just loose and you just can fix it super easily. But you need to open up the iPad. So, you got to go and the ipad so you gotta go and buy these special ipad opening tools and they're they're called spudgers and they uh they break your ipad for you Spudjooms? And they they bring

your iPad for you. Oh boy. So my personal iPad is now the children's iPad. The personal iPad that no one was allowed to touch.

I don't really use an iPad anyway. Yeah. Now it's family iPadad that's sweet you're a good dad oh yeah that's true yeah how long do you think that that one's going to be on the floor for oh i don't know i don't you have to take it to like yeah you just have a recycling recycle it properly but i bet you could take it to the same black marketplace and they'll fix it up. Eh. Eh. I've really, like, I really did a number on it.

Yeah, it's that. There's quite a few of them in my neighborhood, the places that fix, that, like, say they fix broken screens and will fix anything to do with an iPhone or whatever. Well, I took that to one of the places in, like, a mall. Oh, yeah. And it was just one of the places in like a mall. Oh yeah. And it was just one of those kiosks and the guy had to call and he was calling head office or whatever for 10 minutes and said it would be $150. And I was like, that's too much.

Yeah. And so I tried to do it myself. Uh, but this, this place I took it to is like, it's like the perfect, I feel like they could turn it into a chain of phone repair places. Yeah.

Because, like, you go on the website, it tells you what everything, every single phone, every part for every phone will cost you. Oh, wow. That should be in every mall. Yeah. Because then I would see them more because I love going to the mall. What was my point with that? I don't know. You love New York fries.

You love things you can only get at the mall. I love a julius you love a cookie by george i love kernels yeah you love kernels you love muffins i love sunglass hut um that would be great if there was just a freestanding cookies by george that you could just go and do. There was. Outside of malls? Yeah. There was one in the West End. Oh, wow. In Calgary, they were mall-only institutions.

There's no freestanding kernels, though, right? I don't think so. There was a freestanding muffins. Really? Yeah. It's muffins with like five M's. Is that right?

Once I had a muffin that was lemon and then the inside it had lemon curd. It was so good. I didn't know if that was like whether I should be. Like if you're like, whoa. Oh no, not lemon curd. Yeah. Think about that muffin maybe once or twice a month. Really?

But I had it in the 90s. Like I never saw it again. Yeah. Maybe it was just a special. Muffins was a real big 90s muffin place i remember having not a muffin but a cupcake that i think about a lot what was it it was a cupcake that had a cream cheese icing that was on top and inside the muffin or cupcake rather anyways i think about it all the time when we're thinking about about 90s food, I only could think about a weekend where I just ate so many mandarin oranges and sesame bagels.

And it really affected my digestion. I was like, oh, they all have stories about a 90s food? No, mine's not repeatable. I'll have stories about a 90s food. What a, oh, no, mine's not repeatable.

There, there, certainly that was something that you had to learn the hard way was the mandarin orange thing. Wow, how many did you eat? I don't know. I was a teenager,

so, a box? Yeah, like you could just, you can mow through so many mandarin oranges. Like, a regular orange

took so long to peel. And I don't, I've had a mandarin orange. I've just never eaten more than like four. I'm very surprised at that. I eat a navel orange like every day now. Like halftime at a kid's soccer game style. In slices.

Put it outside, sit in the rain, eat. Push it into your face and make it smiley. Do a little smile. But I won't touch a mandarin orange like and not from that i just don't think they're very good and i don't like that they're associated with christmas although there was i feel like are you a time traveler in recent years there's been a push to kind of move them out of the christmas zone because there's like what are they called uh they have out of the christmas zone because there's like what are they called they have like a name like they call them cuties or something like that

and that's they're they're trying to like that's this is something that kids eat all the time but it's not but they're not in season year round there's everything is now i guess i yeah kind of creepy is it a little bit There's like six weeks a year you can't get strawberries here. Yeah. And it's a long six weeks. There are better times to get strawberries

no matter what though. The price goes down. That's true. The sweetness goes up. That two weeks in July and when you're just like bathing in them. Yeah.

And they're like the little ones that are local and they're so pretty. And fragrant. Yeah. Because usually you open up a box of strawberries. It doesn't smell like anything.

No. But then during the summer, it smells like strawberries. It smells like it's. We're getting so old. But they're like. We just talked about fruit for so long. And digestion. Yeah.

Yeah. We didn't touch on brand. So we've got. Next stop. Now. So, yeah,. Next stop. Now. So, yeah, that's me. I'm, you know, fighting with technology. What's up with you?

This past weekend, Vancouver was host to the Junos Awards and end festival that happens around the awards. Yeah. So I was at the comedy club this weekend. One night I was headlining and then during the Friday night it was, I was hosting and all these Juno nominated comedians were on the show. I feel like it was a lot of industry people in the audience. Cause they weren't like, do you mean like a lot of Coke people? Yeah,

a lot of people from the Coke industry. There's a lot of people in white suits fanning themselves. Okay, the Junos are Canada's version of the Grammys. That's right. And this year there was a Best Comedy Album category

for the first time in 34 years. Who won it last? Bob and Doug McKenzie. Okay. Really? Yeah. That's a great album. I can see that they just retired the category after that album.

Yeah, where they're like, no album will be as funny as this. Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo. Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo. Jeez. but uh yeah so when you say there's there was industry there do you mean music industry music industry people i feel like people from uh toronto yeah toronto the treble cliff industry uh there was yeah i feel like people from radio stations or producers and stuff like that uh but like not the biggest laughers in the world anyways that

was friday night it was fine it was fine that's fun but then on saturday night uh a guy from uh that used to be on the daily show was supposed to show up and do a guest spot, Asif Mondvi. Uh-huh. And he, like, I was like, that's fine.

That'll be fine. He'll go on before the middle guy and then that'll be fine. And then he showed up late and then they were like, we'll put him on after the middle guy before you for 15 minutes. Is that okay?

And I was like, I doubt it. I doubt it very much. I'm not going to say no, but this is going to break bad for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to really like that this guy came down to do a spot. Famous guy. Yeah. And it was crazy.

a spot yeah and they did and it was crazy like uh i remember in um the seinfeld documentary comedian he's like you get like one minute from being famous i'm like no you know what you get 15 you get 15 maybe 20 because they they're excited that you're you're a guy from tv and so people were so excited to see him. And he was a very nice guy. But yeah, I was like, ugh. But then they also said, is it okay if we cut some of your time? And I was like, oh yeah. Oh baby.

Same paycheck? Yeah, same paycheck last time? Ooh la la. I feel like maybe you'll get one minute for being famous in New York, but here. Oh, yeah. That's true. Like people are like. The key to the city.

Yeah. And like the other thing that was weird about the weekend, like because I would have avoided downtown if I didn't have to work, but Michael Bublé was the host. And I don't know if he knew when he signed up for it that they would like, his face would be all over the city, like on flags and stuff. Like they made flags.

Like where do those flags end up? On third world houses. Did you see some footage from a parade in a developing country? It's all Michael Bublé. But yeah, I don't know. Like, do you think that he knew when he. Yeah. You think he was like, yeah, I want my face on all the things.

I think he likes it. Yeah. This is his hometown, right? He's from Burnaby. Is that right? Yeah. So it probably means a lot to him But I think he's hosted before

I think he Oh okay I don't think he was like Don't do the flags again That made me really uncomfortable He has like a checklist And he sees flags And he hovers for a second

And then he checks it off Yeah okay Okay yeah Yeah I did like those Is he maybe the most famous? No, I know. I was going to say the most famous singer who I couldn't tell you a single song he sings. Right.

He sings all the songs that have been sung before. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wobbity. Zibbity doo. Babe. Jazz. Christmas. Yeah.

Do you know Michael Bublé? I'm sure I know. Frosty the Snowman. Well, he does the, I think, he does the cover of Santa Baby, but it's Santa Buddy. Oh, yeah. So it's him appealing to his friend.

Like, yeah, we owe it to Santa Buddy. I really had a tough year this year. Santa Buddy, can I borrow just a little bit money? One of the lines in that song is instead of asking for a duplex, he asks for a Rolex because he's a spokesman for Rolex. Come on, Michael. Yeah. Not everything is a cash-in opportunity, boobs.

So, yeah, I just thought there was like, there was all these flags and posters that were obviously from the one photo shoot. Yeah, and he was doing kind of like silly that, you know, when you get your picture taken and then the photographer is like, oh yeah, let's do one silly one. We won't use it. We'll only use

it. Yes. Give us one silly one. This is the flag. Yeah. But he sounds like a silly guy. I think he is, yeah. I think he's like really into fart jokes or something. Really? FJ's. Yeah, I read. He's always horsing around and stuff.

I feel like that's because he kind of models himself after like the Rat Pack kind of thing. And they probably love fart jokes. Who doesn't? He has like jokes thing and he has probably loved and we well he has like jokes like he has a joke writer cool oh wow you know his joke writer oh i didn't know that he wrote jokes oh yeah oh wow huh but he like yeah i can see frank sinatra also enjoying like fart jokes and giving people noogies. Yeah. That feels like something like very of that era, right?

Yeah. Just palling around. Yeah, what was the, yeah, that was a really farty time. It probably was. Yeah, everything was made with Jell-O. Yeah, that's true. You just want an omelet,

it was like encased in Jell-O. How would you like your cabbage today? In Jell-O. Yeah, boiled in Jell-O. How would you like your cabbage today? In Jell-O. Yeah, boiled in Jell-O. Yeah, so that's, it was a wild and woolly weekend, and past guest Ivan Decker won

the comedy album Juno, which we were all very proud of him for that. Yeah, congratulations Ivan, let me be the first to say congratulations. And there was a picture of him for that. Yeah, congratulations, Ivan. Let me be the first to say, congratulations. And there was a picture of him from after he won throwing the award in the air,

which it's a glass. It's made of glass. I've done. Yeah, right? Yeah, but he's good at catching. That's true. He also won a gold glove from the National League

when he played that season for the Cardinals. Did you see how how stoked uh the bare naked ladies reunion uh made the bare naked ladies guys were they stoked i don't know like i kept seeing like little videos of steven page like just he looks so happy to be back back in the fold yeah bare naked ladies are a huge canadian hit there hit. There was a woman at one of the shows that came all the way from Newfoundland just because of that. Because of the reunion. Because of the reunion.

It's the only reason I watched. Yeah. Two songs they did? Mm-hmm. Which two songs? I didn't watch any of them. They did Santa Baby. Oh.

I know the words. And then they did Santa Buddy. Yeah. I know the words And then they did Santa Bunny Do you think that this will That they'll That this will Reunite them for good?

Well I'm glad you're asking me Yeah yeah yeah Dave what are your insights? I'd say no What if they were asked To host next year's Junos? And uh

But contingent on the fact That they stayed together It's like In The Bachelor where they're like, if you stayed married for a while you'll get this People Magazine money. Yeah, is that a given with The Bachelor?

Everybody ends up on the People Magazine? I don't know, but that last Bachelor was real creepy. Why? What did he do? He just seemed like a really dirtbag. He had greasy hair. He kept combing it constantly. Yeah, but it was like still wet. Yeah, he was always wet.

He was always on a videotape crawling out of a well. He creeped me out. He creeped me right out. During the roast ceremony, he kept climbing in the well. He climbed the wall backwards behind him. And then he would like walk really slowly and suddenly really quickly and come out of the TV. Was the wall backwards? Yeah.

Was that, what scary movie was that? Poltergeist? Exorcist? Exorcist. Oh, the Exorcist. Yeah. When he asked if she wanted the rose, his whole head spinned all the way. And he barfed.

You're right. Now that you mention all these things, he was creepy. But you know what? Even creeps need love. Right? Right? That's true. That's like maybe.

That shit's the truest shit. Maybe the slogan of this show. Yeah. Gonna get it printed on a flag. Should we move on to some some more max fun drive business yeah dude you guys it's the drive you're live on the drive you're live on the drive max fun drive babies now here's what's going on this year we're We're going to tell you what you can get if you become a monthly contributor. We're ready to spice you. We're ready to entice you.

We're ready to delice you. Now, you said you never rapped. No, no, you're right. Now, as I was doing it, I was like, why inhibit myself, right? Now, so the thing is you should contribute to become a member because it makes you feel good.

But for real, you get stuff. Yeah, you get some prizes. These are gifts for you. If you become a member of the Maximum Fun organization by going to MaximumFun.org slash donate during these two weeks of the Maximum Fund organization by going to MaximumFund.org slash donate.

During these two weeks of the Max Fund Drive, here's a little bit of what you get. If you donate at $5 a month, you'll get exclusive bonus content. And that's not just this year's. You get access to all the years. Yeah. There's a whole vault of brilliant stuff just sitting there we've

got a disney vault of bonus episodes yeah we did a little mermaid one we did a beauty and the beast one lie because people will they will be overly excited no what did we do we've done uh this year it was the card guys we took people's calls we appraised their cards. Yeah. Last year we did a music video themed one. Oh, yeah. Before we did, we did what became our debut album. Yeah. We've done ones that are all overheards. We've done, look.

We've done it all. Yeah. Guys. Been there. Done that. Did I buy the t-shirt? You bet I did. You bet I did.

And it says, creeps Need Love Too, or whatever. So that's $5 a month. At $10 a month, you get the Drive Exclusive Enamel Pin, designed once again by Megan Linden Cott. Brand new designs this year for every MaxFun show.

You pick your favorite pin, and you get it. And this year's pin looks like a little license plate. It says bumper. Yeah. And it's also like a Canadian flag. Yeah. This is the Stop Podcasting Yourself one this year.

Do I get to get one from being on the show? Do I get to get one from hosting the show? Dave, don't be like that. Give it to me. Yeah, I can probably hook you up with one. It's sort of a bumper stumper. Basically, this should have been our bumper sticker for years, but

now it works better as an enamel pin. Yeah, and you know what? Those enamel pins, they go well on a jacket. They go well on a sports coat. They go well on a hoodie. Yeah, they go well on, those military guys wear a lot of them. Oh man. Like colonels and stuff.

Yeah, Colonel Sanders. Colonel Sanders. You know, Colonel whatever Elvis' manager's name was. Colonel Tom Parker. Yeah. Colonels. Colonels in the mall. And in addition to that enamel pin, you'll also get

the MaxFun membership card. Keep it in your wallet, then whip it up. $20 per month, you get the Maximum Fun Family Cookbook. And we should also mention, at every level, you'll get the things below it. That's right. So if you donate $20 a month, you'll get the enamel pin and the bonus content too. And, uh. So this, this, uh, the MaxFun family cookbook is lovingly curated by MaxFun hosts.

It contains dozens of recipes from cocktails to desserts and everything in between. So meals. Meals. Now we were all asked to contribute a recipe. And the one that we came up with, the only thing I could think of, of a food that we make on the show, is every year I make that rhubarb vodka thing. Nice. So I contributed that recipe. I didn't have literally a recipe to contribute that I hadn't stolen off of Mario Batali.

Off of dumpmeals.com. Dumpdinners.gov. And then in addition to that, at the $20 a month level, you'll also get a set of handsome space themed cookie cutters. Like a little rocket ship. You get a little crescent moon you know what else little star yeah i mean this is sort of a islam themed yeah cookie cutters as well if you

wanted to make it uh and then at 35 dollars per month you get all of those things that we just mention and a one later juice carafe not a juice giraffe no not a cruise giraffe a juice carafe now in the past years they've done max fun shot glasses beer steins you know pint glasses

cocktail glasses they're running out of glassware we're at carafe yeah carafe and then I think next year something that you can fill up with Gatorade and dump over your favorite MaxFun contributor. A glass tub of Gatorade. And there's more gifts

available at higher donation levels. What you can do is go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and find out about all these gifts for the higher levels of contributions. So, what you want to do right now, go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and do it now. Do it now.

Now, let's get back to the podcast. Overherds, you got it. Now, let's get back to the podcast. Overheards? You got it. Overheard. Overheard. It's a segment in which we hear things out there in the world, and then we bring them here on the show. We dissect them, fry them up, eat them.

Is that what you do when you dissect something? You guys are drunk. You're drunk on your fancy drinks. Dave and I are both drinking old fashions. Did you eat your cherry? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? I don't like them. No, they're awful.

They're made with thalidomide. Oh, no. Are they? No. No? I don't know. Thalidomide cherries? As a kid, somebody said they were made with formaldehydes.

And then in my head, I was like, thalidomide. Oh, no. That's what happened to the babies. Now, we always like to start with the guests. Yep. Alicia, would you? Sure. So this is my overseen overheard.

It happened last Sunday. Heading over to meet you for dinner, Graham. I invited Dave and he's like, nope. Where did you have dinner? The Black Lodge. Oh, right. Yes, you did invite me. Which is just up the street. Nowhere near where I live.

Yeah. And I stopped by the gluten-free bakery near my, my place, uh, to get dessert. Cause there's like have dessert after dinner and there's nowhere open. And one thing I hate about going to this bakery is I often get stuck behind people that have just discovered either gluten-free eating or the gluten-free bakery. And I were just so delighted with the,

all of the options that one has that by the time I get to the cash, the thing that I wanted has been purchased. Cause it was just like, they make three of this thing that one has that by the time I get to the cash, the thing that I wanted has been purchased because it was just like, they make three of this thing and five of that. There's this adorable couple in there. Really, they seem really fit, really attractive, cute, maybe new or forever in love. Like sometimes you can't tell

because that's how much people love each other. And everything that the woman wanted, she's like, oh my gosh, they have pizza crust. They have pizza dough. They've got nanima bars they've got donuts i'm gonna three cookie three peanut butter cookies and then she's like a tray of brownies and a tray of brownies and everything in there like just two treats will be twenty dollars so like i have no idea how much the bill was but it was almost six o'clock and i'm starting to sweat because i'm breaking my rules of being in a place right when it closes and uh she woman turned to me and she said, I'm so sorry.

I'm taking so long. And I was like, oh, no, it's great. Like, you're making some really great choices. She's like, yeah, I'm on a cleanse. No, it was so cute because she had no idea that all this gluten-free stuff that she's eating is worse for you than just having the regular thing. Well, I mean, I'm just on a gluten-specific cleanse. Yeah. Like no gluten.

And all I said was like, God bless you. God bless you. But we'll see no results. Well. It's so cute and so exciting because she's probably been like two days without regular flour. And she's like, I can eat non-gluten things. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to eat that whole tray of brownies.

flour and she's like i can eat non-gluten things yeah yeah i'm gonna eat this whole tray of brownies i feel like uh peanut butter cookie is probably the easiest baked good to make with no gluten because you don't have to use flour at all you can just use the craft yeah yeah those are good cookies what are they i've never had craft peanut butter yeah an egg and a cup of sugar yeah really they're delicious and then you bake and some vanilla yeah and then they take they're just like regular cookies but huh i don't know why they work out so well with i don't know what it is about peanut butter cookies but i love the little that you have to make the little marks in them that's so they they bake properly like so they don't think they don't puff up in the middle okay dr science neil deGrasse Tyson over here.

Guys, you smell so boozy. Neil deGrasse Tyson over here. Dave, do you have an overheard? Oh, are we doing that this week? Yeah. Let's see. Overheard. What I'm doing is going to be my overheard

And here we go This is two I saw two license plates And you decide what's worse One of them was a Well actually Oh my favorite license plate Wasn't even a

It wasn't even like a vanity plate It was a real license plate That was just government issued And it said E-W-W-E-O-500. I love it. I love it, too. Yeah. Like that's what I would, that would be my vanity plate.

E-W-W-E-O-500 is really great. It's my rap name. But so these two, I saw one on a, like a super expensive Mercedes and the license place said speeder, like speeder, but with a speed. Ah, I am not afraid of any speeders. He calls spiders speeders. But like, does that guy get a ticket a day? I hope so.

But not in this city. No? No one gets tickets here. Why? I get parking tickets. Really? Oh, at the wazoo. Really?

Yeah. You don't seem like the type. I work in a really bad parking neighborhood. It is a bad parking neighborhood. You should park outside where I work. It's just close to where you work and there's some good free parking out there. Yeah, well, like there's sharks who

go out and get the free parking spots. I'm sorry, Dave. At all hours. It's tough, man. It is tough. It is tough out there. The other license

plate I saw was, I think it was like a gold Nissan. What year? Like a recent one. Okay. I guess if you're going to get a Nissan,

you want it to be. Gold's a nice color. Yeah. Yeah. 3CPO and stuff. And 3CPO. Sharky. And... 3PCO. Oh, no.

Now he smells boozy. I just had those weird chips. Dave's crotch is speaking. I'm squeezing my phone so tight between my legs that i have awoken siri yeah uh where am i you know where you are siri you're like that james bond villain who squeezes guys faces off um here's what's up this one was a license plate plate that just said milky. Oh, yuck. Yeah, right?

This is my milky gold naysaying. Yuck. Yeah, there's only one time that people use the word milky. Discharge? Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah, when else do you, I guess maybe you say you like your tea. Milky, milky, lemonade-y.

Round the corner, fudgy mate-y. Fudgy mate-y. Yarr. Lemonadey. Round the corner fudgy matey. Fudgy matey. Yar. My over. Go ahead, Milky. You're on the air. What about Milky Cabrera, the baseball player? What was his name?

Milky. Damn it. Oh, yeah. Milky Bartokumus. I was at a Chinese restaurant. And the couple next to me ordered so much food. Like more than any couple could ever finish. So were they like the gluten-free couple?

They were like, their love is so new. We just want to eat all the Chinese food. Well, this couple was weird because I was like, so their love is so new. We just want to eat all the Chinese food. Well, this couple was weird because I was like, are they work friends? Because they're not talking to each other at all. They're just eating. Sounds perfect. Yeah, it does sound pretty nice. But I wasn't sure if they were a couple or if they were just, well, they weren't meeting because they weren't talking about anything.

And so they were just eating so many things. When they got their stuff to go, was six containers high oh that's that's crazy right but you know what it it heats up real nice some of it yeah i mean sweet and sour pork take a hike yeah it kind of gets a little soggy but you know a ginger beef. Anyways, they were not talking. And then out of nowhere, the guy just says very confidently. And this was all that he said was, I don't have a problem with cultural appropriation. Seems to be good. What? Yeah.

And that was all he said was he a white was he a white he was yes fuck well that's a dirty dog right there so far so good as far as this

cultural we're taking all their food it's like maybe she asked him on the drive in so what are your thoughts on So it's like maybe she asked him on the drive in. So what are your thoughts on cultural?

Was she white as well? Yep. Okay. And maybe she. Was she wearing like a headdress? Yeah, she's wearing one of those. Yeah. Festival.

Music festival. He had cornrows. He's wearing a Hello Kitty top. He was appropriating every culture. Yeah, he had a little bit from everybody. He had the Africa medallion. I feel like that's sort of what I do. That's true. Yeah.

I appropriate, you know, from preps, sportos, dweebies, burnouts. That's so funny and so awful. So weird, right? And like, that was it. That was the entirety of the... I don't have a problem with cultural appropriation. Cultural appropriation. I don't have a problem with it.

No shit. Guy who benefits from it and only takes heat for it. Yeah, you know, I don't think it's that bad now that, you know. People are really talking about it and I think making a big deal out of nothing. Yeah. Keep shoveling food into the face. Could I get a fork for this actually? It really was, it was the most food I've ever seen like at Doggy Bag.

Oh, well you should see, You come by my house on Thanksgiving. We go 10 high. 10 high packages. Now, we also have overheards sent in to us from people around the world. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from Megan in Hamilton, Ontario. Oh, the hammer. Not just hammer.

SteelTown. I was at a shopper's drug mart. Woo! Do you guys have a secret language? We're like those two twins that talk to each other. One of the infant twins. A booby dabba doobadoo. I don't know what you're talking about.

It was a YouTube video. It was YouTube sensations. The two Nels. Appearing all this week. The wind. Tearing away. Dabba doobaday. Oh, boy.

That movie more than any other movie is a movie that I've seen people joke about and I've never ever seen even a second of it. Like I know. I never saw it either. I know all the jokes about it. We talked about this a few weeks ago. I watched it once for a project where I was trying to write a quiz. Who said it? Nell or Sigur Rós, who is an Icelandic band that has their own made-up language. Oh, boy.

Anyways, Oscar bait. So I was at a shopper's drug mart recently picking up a few items when I saw a group of three pre-teen boys wandering excitedly around the store. It was obvious that they were on their own in the store for the first time without parents as they seemed very excited about the entire experience. Every once in a while, they would rush to a certain display and look at whatever item was there excitedly, no matter how mundane the item was. display and look at whatever item was there excitedly, no matter how mundane the item was. As I was finishing up my shopping, I walked by the three boys while they were huddled around an end cap at the end of the aisle with arm and hammer toothpaste.

When I overheard one of the boys say, bursting with excitement, oh, guys, come see this. This toothpaste has baking soda in it. It makes your teeth really white. To which one of the other boys, without missing a beat, said, ooh, then we need to get some. Oh my god, that sounds so sweet! In a circle

behind the store, pass me some. Put some on my toothbrush. Just like brushing their teeth, standing around in a garbage can. I was thinking maybe they're time travelers. Oh, yeah. And this is their first exposure to toothpaste. That's my favorite toothpaste.

When anybody sees it in my house, they're like, ew. I love it. It's so gritty. Oh, yeah. Isn't it bad? Is it abrasive? That's what I'd worry about. I don't know.

Whenever I go to the dentist, they show like, show me around like a horse. They're like, never had a cavity. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, really? They take you into. They always, someone always is like, these are incredible teeth. Wow.

And the last time I was there for a checkup with the dentist, he's like, get out of here. It's like, you only have to come once a year. Fed you an apple. Very much. Just looking after that shiny coat. But you an apple? Pretty much. Just looking after that shiny coat. You were wearing your latex coat.

I was. I mean, it was the dentist. Am I right? Yeah, right? I don't know. I don't know who's right

in this situation. All I know is that every time I go to the dentist, there's always a follow-up and it's always big cash money

coming out of my pocket. Coupled with heavy criticism from yeah that's not fair if it's so genetic yeah like like every time they're like boy that was yeah geez that was really that was a lot of blood i'm like oh i don't know i don't know man well you take like pristine care of your teeth and you have terrible teeth just genetically you did not win that lottery. I, on the other hand, I won the lottery. I have like just great teeth.

And I got these great tits. You really do, Dave. Yeah. So quirky. Hey, let me try to hold a pencil underneath them. Can't do it. Can't do it. Hurt.

This next one comes from Robin from Chicago. Hi. The Windy City. Huh? Is that the Windy City? Yeah. Is that the Big Smoke? Yeah, okay.

I mean, the Big Smoke's whatever city. Yeah, the biggest city around. I work in a big shipping center sorting packages. Last night, a few dozen packages came through my station that were addressed to various youth soccer teams in Arizona, and each package had the name of the team labeled on the outside. The kids had clearly been allowed to name their own teams because here are some of the highlights. The Punishers. Yes.

This is a team of eight-year-old boys. Orange Crush. That's good. That's pretty good. Army of Unicorns Okay Super Smurfs And finally

Electric Rave Yeah These aren't 8 year old boys These are Like Fish fans Oh man When did people become

Like I feel like No one of my generation Was a Grateful Dead fan Up until 3 years ago. Now, half the people I know are deadheads. I grew up with a bunch of, like, kids. Well, I became friends with them when I went to CJEP.

Inner city Montreal kids, mostly from wealthy Jewish families, really into fish and really into the Grateful Dead. And wore a lot of tie-dye. I only know one. And his past guest. Phil Hanley. Yeah. Hanley. the grateful dad and wore a lot of tie dye. The only, I only know one. And his past guests. Yeah. Was a family. Yeah.

Phil family. Uh, I don't, I never understood. Like I've been no one song by the grateful dad. It's not about knowing the song. It's about. Highness and how high you can get.

It's a, it's not even about the studio albums. No. They only appreciate the live things. Yeah. But it's a drug situation, right? Of course. I hope so. But do people listen to it when they're working out?

Yeah. I think people listen to it when they're not high, too. I think that's part of it I remember is Dave Matthews part of that who

yeah I think there's probably something like that but with more like flute Zampier yeah cause

yeah I feel like he was the other one that people would in college like I remember that being an explanation of why a whole bunch of music

existed. It's popular. Oh, there was in my dorms. There were rugby thugs who were up at all hours, partying, listening to Dave Matthews bootleg. Partying, listening to Dave Matthews bootleg.

Maybe he was the fish experience for jocks. Yeah, maybe. Like, the jocks were like, why can't we have a drug band? Dave Matthews was like, hello. You have to take drug tests. Oh, okay. But, you know, we can do that thing where we take blood out of a drug user, cycle it through our bodies. Through a horse.

Oh, I like horses. Do you like horses? You know that I love horses, right? Right. It's me that doesn't like horses. You and I have argued about horses. Yeah. Can you call horses garbage animals? Oh, why?

I don't know. I worked for somebody that was a big, like, into horses lady. Oh, it's always a lady. I guess the, yeah, the into horses fellas. You had a great point about it.

Like, what it sort of broke down to was they're very difficult to keep alive and very expensive. They get sick really easily. They're not. They shoot horses, don't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want to go. Have you ever seen a horse? Like roll around on the ground. It's the freakiest looking thing. It looks like a spider. It looks like it's going to break its leg by doing that. Yeah, they seem so fragile. Have you seen the Far Side cartoon?

It just says horse hospital, and it's a bunch of doctors walking around with like clipboards and shotguns oh my god that's exactly what graham and all these horses with their like in that like they all have the broken legs put in a cast like in the bed yeah they just man. Yeah. They just seem so fragile. They are so fragile. Yeah. That's one of my favorite Farsights. Farsight is so funny. It's so funny. Costco had the, like,

like the complete works and I didn't buy it for myself. And I'm really disappointed because it wasn't there the last time I went. And it's, it's like a comedy thing that holds up. Yes. And that you can show to somebody that has never seen it before. and they instantly are like, this is the best thing in the world. Because he wasn't doing all the women have beehive hairstyles, which wasn't even a thing in 1990. But also it's kind of like idiocracy.

A lot of the things that he's warning about are happening. There's this one school where they're very gifted, but one guy came figure out the push-pull. There was one that I remember that has come true, and it shows these two parents, and their kid is playing video games, and they're both thinking of the wanteds, and it's like, can you save the princess in the castle?

We want you. And then now he's an actual actual you can actually have that job i always think of the one where the dog's trying to trick the cat that's cat food and it's the dryer right yeah i say there's a week that goes by where i don't think of that yeah and the way that he spells food, I've always spelled food like that. F-U-D. Cat food. Food. Oh yeah. And I'm going to get tutored.

But he's going to get neutered. And he's stuck in the back of the car. And he's so excited because he gets to go to like the grocery store and it's like a lab. So you're like, yeah. And he's like, oh, after we go to the tub, he's like, after we do this, I'm going to get tutored. But it's neutered.

And he's like a dumb dog. Oh, boy. Same dog, I think, related to the cat food. I also like Herman. I saw one where. Is that the doctor? The one guy where He just knows all the Hermans

Saw one guy Where he's buying A thing of cornflakes At the In the express lane And the woman says There's more than 12 Cornflakes in this box

Boom That's a good Herman A guy who does that At a wedding Instead of a toast He just goes up And tells his favorite

Herman comics. It'd be better than most toasts. Yeah. Gosh, weddings go sideways fast when you let your friends talk. Our wedding was toast free. Your wedding was beautiful. And an eagle flew overhead. Yeah. But that was our

most controversial policy. No speeches. Yeah. I mean, they don't want to make them, but people don't want to hear Yeah. I mean, I mean, they want to make them, but people don't want to hear them. So I think at your wedding, the person to watch out for would have been, eh,

what's his face? The scientist. Bill Nye. Yeah. This last overheard comes from Kate M all the way down there there in australia oh uh the other day i was on the train with an extremely adorable little girl about a aged about two or three and her dad she asked him to read going on a bear hunt which he did with a very have read this a hundred times before kind of voice but an austral Australian accent. Do you know this story?

Going out in a behind, going to catch a big one. That's like, can't go over it, can't go under it, gotta go through it. Right. At the end, she said, the bear is sad. He was surprised and asked her why, and she said, he didn't get to eat any children. Next time he will be faster.

A few minutes later, the train doors open and she threw some of her rice cake she was eating outside. Her dad asked her if that was for the birds. And she said, no, it's for the ants. Ants are faster than birds. And then as a quiet aside, she said, they're faster than the bear. Wow. What a lovely little girl. Yeah.

Yeah. wow what a lovely little girl yeah um yeah i uh uh very rare uh that i that i hear a cute kid on a train this is usually they're they're screaming that's my experience with kids on trains terrified terrified of train really i think so i don't know any enclosed oh margo loves it if we can ever like incorporate that into what we're doing yeah i do recall that mario's like a big public transit yeah yeah she's young enough that she doesn't know it's horrible yes i remember that too and we'll also try to pick a time when it's not as horrible yeah like it's not just packed full of stinky people she likes getting on on the bus and then does she like pulling the bell?

Yeah. And then like going on the train. Like we've gone on, we went a few weeks ago to Vancouver Canucks open practice, which was like,

I had to bribe her by saying like, there's going to be free popcorn and we'll take the train there. Free popcorn and trains. Train and free popcorn.

And then you sit there and like, even as a hockey fan, this was kind of boring. They're running drills. And so I was, so we basically like had a whole arena to play I Spy with. Guess what? The seats are all red. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us,

it is the responsible thing to do. What you gotta do is you gotta pick up your phone, take it to a black marketplace that fixes phones, so you don't leave a big hissing message otherwise we're gonna be like those guys are snake and then you call 1-844-779-7631 or one spy pod one like these people have hi dave graham and probable guests this is ian calling from portland reporting an overheard that one of my friends told me about which uh they were hanging out with a couple of their

drunk friends and i hope this isn't too early to make a joke about this kind of thing but steven hawking uh had just passed and the really drunk friend he heard from across the room say, Stoney Hawk just died. From bedrock. The bedrock skateboarder.

Oh, wow. That just works perfectly on so many levels. Stony Hawk died. Oh, no. Yes, Stony Hawk died. That's great. We'll just move right on. Can't add to that.

Hi, Dave Graham and guest. This is Stuart from New Jersey. Just calling in overheard. Yesterday I was at Trader Joe's, and at the check stand next to me, there was an old lady who was setting up a storm with the much younger guy working the check stand, and I overheard this segment. I know they say it's healthy for you, but don't eat kale in the middle of the night. Why tell me? I know they say it's healthy for you But don't eat kale in the middle of the night Ugh My tummy

Quick little midnight kale Just go downstairs, open the fridge Mmm, kale Chomp chomp Yeah, you gotta massage it first I think Do you feel like kale, is kale over? No No, it's still happening?

Kale feels like, well, kale grows all year round, so it's this great. Like strawberries. Yeah, and one of those tiny oranges you guys are mad at. But I do kind of think like, it's just one of those things that people talk about so much, but you do have to do something to it. You have to chew it so much.

I think it needs to be cooked or massaged. Yeah. Or chopped up real small. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I thought like kale, like it just feels like it had a time. Yeah. And it's like, fuck, we got it, kale.

Yeah. Same with quinoa. Quinoa and kale. Like, please stop. Have you seen the shirt that's like the Yale font, but it says kale? No. Pretty good. Oh, okay.

I guess it's not over. I was about to say, we're all sick of that, right? Nope, apparently. Yeah, I'm back on board. Second wind. Here's your final overheard. Hey, Dave, Graham, and guests. This is Ira from Baton Rouge with an overseen.

I'm driving home from work, and I just drove by a guy who was stopped trying to turn left, and I swear to God, I saw him take a bite out of a note card. He's eating the evidence. Game show host. Yeah. David Letterman used to throw his through the window

But I'm chomping on mine Wow I'm on a diet I'm on a special cleanse I'm allowed to eat as much paper as I want Yeah, I'm allowed to eat any segment from a talk show I want Oh boy Wow, that was some top drawer over here.

The last few weeks, we've gotten so many good ones that I'm sorry I can't play them all. I hope. I mean, like, I'm backlogged a bunch. That's, you know what? That's a nice problem to have. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm being backlogged. You know what helps with that?

A little bit of kale. Yeah. You know what helps with that? A little bit of kale. Yeah. Well, that brings us to the end of this first of two MaxFunDrive episodes. Yeah, and we want to remind you guys, this is the only two weeks all year we're going to ask you to contribute and become a MaxFun member. But it's also the only two weeks a year when you can get the great prizes. So, now's the time to do it. MaximumFun.org

slash donate. You'll feel really good. You'll feel like you're part of the show. We're trying to get to 25,000 new donors across the network. And I feel like we can do it. Sure. Yeah. I mean, we can't. No, but collectively.

The collective. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it would be nice if we could. Oh, boy. Someday. You know what? You can make equality overheards like that. Yeah. We're going to get there.

Sure. Maybe after our next decade. Oh, yeah. Basically, the point is, we've been doing this for 10 years. It'd be nice to make money off of it. Maximumfun.org slash donate. They did say in the notes, make it sound angry.

Make it sound bitter. Sound hungry. Now, Alicia, plugs. Time for you to plug things you want to plug. If you want to try listening to my podcast Retail Nightmares, we'd love to have you listen to it. And if you like it, don't say something mean on iTunes about it because I see that and it makes me sad.

Yeah. My new podcast with Kevin Lee is coming out in April. It's called Young and Sick. Young and Sick. But we've gone into why and maybe it should, maybe you should just rename it Young. You can follow us on Twitter. It's Young and Sick Pod at Twitter. We have, we're youngandsick.ca.

We should be posting our first episode soon. People are going to love it. People love you. People love Kevin Lee. Yeah. The first episode is really sweet. It's like, you know, we just want people to kind of laugh and there might be a chance that if you sweet. It's like, you know, we just want people to kind of laugh.

And there might be a chance that if you know somebody who's sick, that you learn something about what that's like. We're going to have different people come on and explain their condition. And, you know, what a day in the life looks like if you have like a heart condition or depression or anxiety or maybe a personality disorder or any sort of disease or lifelong chronic thing. And we're two comedians. So I think it's going to be okay. Could I go on and explain privilege? What that's like? Dave, you're walking the walk already.

Well, thank you very much for being our guest. Guys, I love you. And this podcast is great. If you're a listener that doesn't contribute, please do. These two men are amazing, lovely people. You don't have to say that. No, but we will take it.

Yeah, you guys are great friends and great people. And thanks for having me on. Thanks for coming on. And like we've been saying this whole episode, if you're thinking about donating, head over to MaximumFun.org slash donate. Thank you very much for listening. You can find us online at Stop Podcasting. We're on Reddit. We're on the front page of Reddit, I assume.

Yeah, sure. We're some thing with people angry at Comcast. That seems to be on the front page of Reddit a lot. Facebook, Twitter. All the major platforms. Not insta yeah uh nintendo switch we have a new side scroller uh and if you like the show uh please tell your friends

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