Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 526 - Stacey McLachlan

Episode Date: April 16, 2018

Performer and podcaster Stacey McLachlan returns to talk wall art, egg hunting, and double features with the mayor.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 526 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man whose heart overflows with joy, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, it's pretty gross. The doctors are looking at it, but they're like mostly grossed out.

They're trying to staunch the joy. Yeah, they really just like they're putting in like uh coagulants yeah emollients and uh mayonnaise emulsions but uh yeah no so it's gonna be a major problem uh it's genetic oh no yeah is this running runs in your family i come from a joyful people yeah that's true ukrainians some of the most joyful on earth like we all know that the uh irish are the most miserable i mean they write they write the miserable bones who's the most joyous people uh probably like the swedes the norwegians they know don't they always somber oh i thought oh do you mean just like joyful? Hmm.

I don't know. The people of New Orleans? They seem to have a lot of parades. Yeah. I can think of one. It's one more than I'm having, I can guarantee you. Thanks, everyone. This is our first episode after the Max Fun Drive.

Thank you to everyone for donating. Yeah. You know what? If you missed the donation deadline, I bet if you tried today, you'd still get all the prizes. Yeah, yeah. If you really tried to sneak in donating. Yeah. You know what? If you miss the donation deadline, I bet if you tried today, you'd still get all the prizes. Yeah, yeah. If you really tried to sneak in under the one. Yeah, I mean,

I'm not telling you what to do. You sneaky sneak. Yeah, but Dave's got a sneaky voice on. I do got my sneaky voice and I'm doing a little eyebrow work. Our guest today,

returning guest to the podcast, she is the host of her own podcast called After Chef Junior. It's Stacey McLaughlin. Hi, everybody. Hello. Hi, Stacey.

Hi, Dave. Oh, what's new in After Chef? What's new in Master Chef Junior? I know. It's hard to keep the name straight. We often call our podcast the wrong name, so I understand. It's been a really exciting understand. It's been a really exciting season. There's been a lot of, uh, yeah, scandal. Yeah. Yeah. There's, um, we got these

anonymous emails from some of the parents telling us that one of the kids had snuck back onto the show for the new season. They're like, don't trust the bows. The bows are just a distraction from the truth. That's what Guy Fieri, he was just a regular guy, had combed down hair and a nice mustache. And then he came back in the next season with his hair spiked up. Nobody recognized him. He was on like the next Food Network star. Yeah. So there's a girl who didn't have a bow last year and now she has a bow.

Yeah, and she fooled everyone. I think probably the producers knew. I mean, they never acknowledged it on the show. That was kind of what the drama was. How far did she make it last year? Just a few episodes in. So she made it, I think, to episode three or four last time. This time she made it to episode six, five or six.

Who can remember? Yeah. Looking forward to seeing her next season, I guess. With a monocle? Who's this mustachioed nine-year-old girl? She's got promise. Should we get to know us? Yeah.

Stacy, you're so much more than After Chef Junior, but I also still want to talk about you. Yeah, yeah. That's fair. Who's going to win? There's actually two sisters on this season so I feel like that would be.

That's fun. Are they like on do they are they competing or are they Yeah they're competing. They're not on a team? They've just been tied together.

Yeah. You guys can use two arms between you. Oh that would be really good. I would love to see that. What is that? Not scapegoat kitchen.

Well, it's a cutthroat kitchen. Scapegoat? It was him who screwed up our quiche. MasterChef Junior, is that the only cooking show you watch, or do you celebrate the entire Food Network? No, just MasterChef Junior. That's it. That's it. It starts and ends there. Is that the only cooking show you watch or do you watch, do you celebrate the entire food network? No, just MasterChef Junior. That's it.

That's it. It starts and ends there. It's like the only network one. I mean, I guess MasterChef regular. And whatever Gordon Ramsay yells, yelling at people. Yeah. Fire kitchen. Yeah.

Kitchen of hell. Yeah. I want to see like a mashup of that and MasterChef Junior though, like with Gordon going into like fix other people's problems with all these children in. Oh. I think that would be really exciting. Yeah. Or to fix their childhoods from their parents

forcing them to be on reality shows. Like, kind of like a Dr. Phil, Gordon Ramsay mashup. Finally, the fans of Venn demanding. The world needs to know. So what's new with you in your life? In my real life? In your real life. Just moved into a new apartment.

Okay. Which is why my husband and I are arguing about art. Not arguing, just it's a... Where do you want to put art? Where should we put some art? What kind of art should we put on? Yeah, should it be a luchador? That's mostly him.

Yeah, should it be a luchador? Should it be Whistler's mother? Should it be Whistler's mother? In a sleeper hold compromise. Yeah, you know what? That's what marriage is all about Should it be a luchador? Should it be Whistler's mother? Should it be Whistler's mother? In a sleeper hold compromise. Yeah. You know what? That's what marriage is all about, right? Finding that middle ground.

Now, didn't you have art at your old place? We did. But so this is, so we had moved in together. Like that was the first time we'd moved in together, you know, four years ago. And so we each were bringing our, you know, you're in that magical phase where nobody does anything wrong and you love everything about them. And then we moved into this new apartment that we've moved into together. And I think we both revealed that we hated each other's art pieces from before. So it was a time for a clean slate.

Neither of you are bringing any of the old. Yeah, we left most of it behind. I mean, not on the wall in the old apartment this is your problem now yeah la la la just paint over it

yeah now what what taste wise what do you gravitate towards I'm more into I like like geometric patterns

bright colors abstract things and max like primarily is just like what wrestling themed poster can we be putting

what's the crossover yeah who's the be putting up? What's the crossover? Yeah, who's the, like the, I mean. Who's the blockiest of the wrestlers? Brock Lesnar. He's pretty blocky. Brock Lesnar. I mean, Triangle Man from that, there might be a giant song,

is maybe a wrestler. At least he was in Tiny Toon Adventures. Is there, you know, yeah, is there some sort of, is there a parallelogram? Yeah, a parallelogram, man. Maybe like one of the referees I would maybe be into. They've got nice stripy shirts.

There you go. Yeah. Just some. An extreme close-up. Some vertical black and white bars. I like it. I think it's modern. Yeah. I work for an interior design magazine, so I really it. I think it's modern. Yeah.

I work for an interior design magazine, so I really feel like I should get to be making these decisions. Right. But he works for a wrestling magazine. Yeah. Can you just, like, maybe you get the main area and he gets to decorate, say, a bedroom or a bathroom. Or a closet.

A closet. Get him his own bedroom and mean i've got a man cave and so i've got i mean i'll mention this on every episode yeah you've got a treasure chest full of old bras the people who visited your man cave yep i've launched in there uh Uh-huh. I've got, you know, bottle caps. Yeah. Bottle cap collection. You know, man stuff. So manly. You know, bear skin rug, tiger skin rug. Yeah.

Ceiling of porno. Yeah. Porno ceiling. Mirrors everywhere. What else is in a television of some sort? Barbie, there's got to be some sort of grill zone. Yeah. Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Indoors. Just hot coals. Just a coal pit in the ground. Yeah. So you work for an interior design magazine. Yeah, yeah. Why don't you just put up some centerfolds? Perfect. Just have a couch, you unfold it. Oh, yeah.

Is that tufting? I didn't think you were allowed to do that anymore. What is tufting? Thank you. You know when it's like, there's like a little button kind of in the middle of a cushion. Oh, yeah. I'm a fan. Yeah. They don't do that anymore?

No, I was just kind of making a joke. Are you too hot for TV? You can't show tufting in magazines anymore. No, that's true. There's a lot of blocking out. Yeah, it's tasteful. Yeah. We're classy. It's a classy magazine. Maybe's a lot of blocking out. Yeah, it's tasteful. Yeah. We're classy.

It's a classy magazine. Maybe in a European magazine. Yeah, a pillow like peeking from around the corner and your imagination does this. Yeah. It runs wild. And watching, you know, two coaches. A pillow in a bubble bath. Yeah, I don't.

Because when you and Abby moved in together, you, you were just out of a university. So you hadn't accumulated any, any arts. No art. No. Yeah. Nothing I would call art. No. So you, you just got rid of whatever poster.

Yeah. It was a lot of like, well, uh, you know, I didn't frame anything. So this is all garbage now the moment you try to take it off the wall it's just recycling yeah yeah yeah exactly and uh yeah i've never had to i've never been in a relationship where we purchased art together so that seems intense i feel like i'm bringing a lot of options to the table. Like I have a constant spreadsheet. You know what? That's probably not how to choose art. That doesn't sound so well. I'm probably doing it wrong.

I don't know. I crunched the numbers and this is the best art. This has the most shapes. Yeah. Most shapes per inch. It's a good art. Yeah. But like, do you go to, what, galleries or just online?

We're not even doing art these days. I don't know. That's another problem. I mean. A market? A market. They seem to be selling it in coffee shops. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.

There's lots up on the wall. You know, stuff that you're like, I'm not sure this should be up on the wall of a coffee shop. This is. It doesn't make me hungry. I can tell you that much. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of uncomfortable art. Yeah, so much.

Who's in charge of deciding what goes on those walls? Starbuck. Todd Starbuck. Todd Starbuck, yeah. He's the CEO's son. He's a brat. I wonder if anybody's ever sold a painting that's been on a coffee shop wall. I guarantee you they have.

Yeah? I mean, most they haven't but but yeah there's got to be some outliers sometimes you know like people have to start somewhere yeah and you know what i'm saying that like that's a bad thing maybe that is like what people aspire to i don't know sometimes it's hard to do art and make money yeah man it's uh sometimes you'll walk out of an art gallery and there'll be somebody just selling art just as soon as you walk out in the exit. And I think that I get what the person's going for,

but I just saw some of the best and then you're there with, it's not the best, but it's you can buy it. Yeah. Turn your house into a gallery. How about it? Would you, if you had unlimited funds, would you be an art collector? Oh, that'd be fun.

Would be fun. Fun. Making a break in a young artist's heart. Yeah. That's what we're asking. Yeah, like would you be a sole kind of financier? Yeah. Can I be like a patron of somebody?

Yeah. That'd be fun. Oh, that's not where my mind went at all. I thought when you said like, if you had unlimited funds, I'd be like, you know, the big time stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me the Mona Lisa. Oh, and David as a coat rack. Yeah. You know, like, instead of dinner plates, you just have all these like, beautiful Monet paintings

eating spaghetti don't worry these are one use just throw them in the garbage you're drying yourself after a shower name one more art Stacy a famous towel art yeah that old scroll

that that remember remember the woman tried to touch up yeah yeah painting what a there is

what's the one with the like it's like the lovers and they're like on a they're like reclining and they're naked and they've got oh they're always reclining

I know but like could I if I do like a Klimt is it a Klimt yeah I think if I googled

lovers reclining in a in a golden If I Googled lovers reclining in a... In a golden blanket? Okay, Googling lovers reclining art blanket. Lovers never recline anymore. Yeah, it's true. Do you know what? They're always arguing.

Or looking at their phones. They're always looking at their phones. Sorry, I have to go. Max, I'm sorry. When I Googled lovers reclining art blanket, the first result, this blanket made of cats. So many cats. That's what I would buy if I had unlimited art money. Unlimited art money?

I bet it would be huge. Yeah, it would cover your whole wall. You'd make wallpaper out of that towel. It is a Klimt. Klimt. The Kiss by Klimt. Mm-hmm. Ah.

Art. Art. I love it all. Klimt. From Klimt, the whole alphabet. Yeah. From Klimt to Leonardo DiCaprio. In our new apartment, we have a wood-burning fireplace, which is a rarity in this city.

Yeah. So if I had unlimited art funds, we're using that as kindling too. Yeah, that's true. Have you used it? Have you used it? We're fire crazy now. Wait, if you had unlimited funds, you'd still live in your current apartment? We just moved in, just hung up some things.

We signed a yearly suit. Yeah. It's going to be a... Yeah, I don't want to go through the hassle of breaking that. So you've gone from non-fireplace people. Yeah. To like full time. I'd never even lit a fire before in my life.

Like not a camper. Very afraid of fire because my elementary school caught on fire when I was in kindergarten. I'm really scarring. Really? Where was this? In Surrey. Okay. Well, like during a school day?

Yeah. So we all got evacuated. It was like week one of kindergarten. That's where all out on the lawn. And in my head, I was like, I'm pretty sure grass could catch on fire, guys. Oh, no. Turned out to be fine. I'm really afraid of fire because my dad's Frankenstein.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not really your fear, but he's channeled it into you. Yeah, I mean, he really only said the one thing this whole life, fire bad. Didn't he say Dave Good? No. No? Oh, that he would. Yeah, I remember

when the house caught on fire on my street and it's, it definitely like, it's stuck in my mind. Do you ever get out of bed in the middle of the night

and you're like, I left the iron on five days ago. Like it's probably fine. Yeah. But unless it tips over. I definitely have like been somewhere very far from home and then realized that I left a burner on. And I was like, why?

Why would I warm something up just before I left the Ah yes, a nice hot mug of hot just before I left the house? Ah, yes. A nice hot mug of hot water before I go. Soothing hot water to wash my hands before I go. Well, yeah. Last summer, a couple times, we had this burning smell in the house. It was bugs.

It was bugs that had flown into a really hot lamp. Bugs that had turned on our stove. Yeah. It worked as that had flown into a really hot lamp. Bugs that had turned on our stove. Yeah. It worked as one unit to turn on. Now we'll see. Yeah, we're kids,

I guess kindergarten kids wouldn't be excited that the school caught on fire. No. But they probably, you know, the upper grades, they were probably into it

in the big one. Oh yeah. When I was in grade two, our school got evacuated because somebody left a bomb on the playground. That was also an exciting day. Was it a real bomb? A real bomb. I mean, it didn't go off, but it was as real, like

the bomb squad came. What had happened was across the street, someone had found a bomb under their car and they were like, oh, I'm going to be late for work. I'm just going to put it over across the street there. It's crazy. Did they know it was a bomb when they found it under their car? I was seven. It seemed like that was the story I've been told.

You didn't see the bomb. No. But we were evacuated again. Yeah. And we were on the news. Cool. Yeah. That is kind of fun for a kid.

Yeah. So bombs good, fire back. Yeah. Bombs are. The. There. Yeah. It didn't feel good.

We need you to get the whole. The sound clip. Sound clip. Yeah. Okay. Can you to get the whole. The sound clip. Sound clip, yeah. Okay, can you go ahead? Bombs are the bomb. Okay, but now just throw it away. Do one that we can just throw it away. Bombs are the bomb.

Okay, how about just one for you? Bombs are the bomb. Okay. Good, good. Well, okay, we're not going to use this, so just do a really silly one. we're not going to use this so just do a really silly one okay five hours later a uh

there was a kid that set off a pipe bomb in my junior high in the stairwell it just blew apart the stairwell and that was it we all had to go back to school like it it blew up and it blew up the stairwell and everybody's like well you can't use that stairwell and that was it. We all had to go back to school. It blew up and it blew up the stairwell and everybody's like, well, you can't use that stairwell, but you do have to go back to class.

But also Columbine hasn't happened yet so go back to class. Yeah, go back to class like, what are the chances this genius who'd set off a pipe bomb in the stairwell has another pipe bomb? Pretty high. Yeah. Pretty high chances. But did they catch him? Yes, they did catch him and he was, I want to say, expelled.

Right. That's not a suspendable offense. Two days detention. He was breakfast clubbed. Didn't one of the breakfast clubs made a bomb? Wasn't he? In the movie? In the movie.

He brought a gun. A flare gun. A flare gun. Also, I like that you called him one of the breakfast clubs. Yeah. I'm very old. Sure, we can all remember who the breakfast clubs are. The red one.

The wastebasket. Yeah. The princess. Yeah. The spazzo. The tub-a-goo. Yeah. Mr. Millionaire.

Yeah. Do we remember what they all did to get into the breakfast club? Well, I thought it was a bomb, but it was a flare gun It was a flare gun, that was Anthony Michael Hall The brain The brain The jock, Estevez They taped someone's buns together

That's right These do not seem like equivalent offenses right well he's a really hairy guy I mean I've never had

my buns taped together so I don't know that and in my day that was a compliment so I don't yeah uh uh

what did Molly Ringwald do did she like cheat it on a test oh no she skipped the class to go shopping! These are so not equivalent!

Judd Hirsch, or Nelson? Well, he didn't say No, it was Judd Hirsch! He drove his taxi He drove his taxi through the wall What did Judd Nelson do? He drove his taxi through the wall. Yeah. He is. And then what's. What did Judd Nelson do?

I thought he. I think it was just. Just a general badassery. Yeah. Yeah. And Ally Sheedy. Just said. Was creepy?

Was that it? No, it was. She chose to come. Oh, that's right. She just showed up. But like, wouldn't the principal be like, let's see. I thought we were expecting four. I don't. I can't count that high.

It looks like four. It looks like four of you. He only knew, he could only count up to two bullhorns. That's all he needed to know. Was this a movie

that you grew up with? I've seen it. Yeah. They made us watch it in school. What is the lesson there? The lesson is, you mean for the students or for the viewer? All of the above.

Do you think students have it? Oh, I see. Not the students watching. The students in the movie. Yeah. It's punishment. And they have to write an essay about who they really are. It has to be a thousand words.

And eventually one of them writes an essay for all of them. Yeah. And maybe it's 400 words. Yeah. What if they all had to come back the next day?

Well, Judd Hirsch has to come back every week. For a year. For a year. Yeah, he's going to lose

his cab license. The movie we always had to watch or didn't have to watch, it was like The Treat, was blank check. So my school must have just had a copy of didn't have to watch. It was like the treat was blank check. So my school must've just had a copy of it. Yeah.

Yeah. I feel like that was the same with the breakfast club. There was just, there, there was a TV that was strapped to a cart that they would wheel in. So blank check is the one about the little boy whose bike was hit by a mobster's car. And the mobster wrote him a blank check to replace the bike.

And the boy was like, I'm going to become an art collector. Yeah. What's the, what's the lesson a blank check to replace a bike. And the boy was like, I'm going to become an art collector. Yeah. What's the, what's the lesson in blank check? Oh, I mean, he seemed to, everything seemed to work out great for him. So fraud, I guess. Commit fraud. Commit fraud.

If possible. Get babes. Yeah. I don't know if that's fraud. Like don't give a kid a blank check. Write them. You'd be like, oh, that's a... Let me just guess.

What is that, a huffy? Yeah. So it's almost like the main character of the story is the mobster? Yeah, the main character. He had growth. He had change. He needed to learn a lesson. Just because you're a mobster doesn't mean you should be...

Just giving your money away, you got to count the pennies. 500 bucks, is that reasonable? How much are bikes? If you gave 500 bucks. Is that, is that reasonable? How much are bikes? If you gave 500 bucks to a kid, they would lose their mind. But a blank check is even more bucks. But I wouldn't know that as a kid, I would be like $40. I just ripped that guy off. I wouldn't know to write a million. You wouldn't know how much a bike was. No, certainly not. Was he also just like, did the kid get run over too? Did he have to pay for medical expenses? Yeah, they cut that part out of the version we saw. The long recovery scene?

Yeah, the director's cut of Blank Check was a lot darker. This is not a movie I've seen. Just months and months of rehab. Yeah, it's long. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like the English patient is just in the middle of a blank check. But he gets that,

he makes the check over a million dollars and he like rents a castle. He gets like a robot butler. Like rents a castle. Who's the star of a blank check?

Oh, I don't know. It was like a Klimt. It was Klimt. It was Klimt. Let me Google this movie. Yeah. Sort of like a Macaulay Culkin type.

Yeah. No one's saying it's not. It was Brian Ponsal. Of course. Family ties. He was the kid with family ties. Oh, wow. Didn't even recognize him.

Transformed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What an actor. He spent a good chunk of that blank check on plastic surgery. Oh, again in the director's cut. Interesting. So he does, he rents a castle? Yeah. chunk of that blank check on plastic surgery again in the director's cut interesting so he does he rents a castle yeah he like lives in some mansion like giant castle and there's a lady who comes by i don't know if she's like investigating this kid millionaire but they sort of have kind

of a weird romantic thing but she's an adult so that's like 50 shadesades of Grey all mixed in there. Yeah, meets big, I guess. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, kind of meets big. Wow, women will do anything for money. That was the lesson of the day. That was the takeaway. They wanted the students of our school to learn. Well, this guy's rich, so he's like an adult.

Yeah. But I for sure had a teacher who more than once made us watch breakfast club and it wasn't even it wasn't uh like the social skills class it was just like you know it might have been french or something how old was was your teacher like 10 years older than you and like this was a cool movie when i was yeah i just remember like on more than one occasion going into class seeing the tv there being in my head thinking it's not gonna be breakfast club again and then it was and being like maybe it just got the vhs just got stuck in the machine but would it be over two classes would she be like okay well come back next time and we'll see if they... This time. They smoke doobies.

Yeah, yeah. No way you're getting away with that. Yeah. It smells. Yeah, they broke out of detention, climbed through the roof, found a blank check up there. Rented a castle. Smoked a doobie in the castle. Why rent a castle? Just buy a house. He's a castle. Smoked a doobie in the castle. Why rent a castle?

Just buy a house. He's a kid. He doesn't know. He's wasting his money on frivolous expenses, you know? It's sort of like Richie Rich. Yeah. For a new generation. Yeah.

I guess every generation has to be introduced to the comedic gold that is Richie Rich. I mean, my generation was for some reason. Yeah. And it was yours? Yeah. Yeah? Oh, yeah. Like that he was just rich.

That was the whole gag. Yeah, that's the joke. Yeah, he has a dog maybe that has a dollar sign painted on him. Yeah, what else? I can't remember anything else about him. I think the hair of the dog grows into a dollar sign. That's an expensive dog to breed a dog. A dollar sign.

Yeah, because some are going to come out. It's going to be a yen sign. Some are going to be pound signs. Or just an S. You're like, what? Yeah. Oh, boy. Just draw a line through it.

Now kill the dog. Yeah, it is one of those characters that somehow is like i know what is his personality like if you had to sum up like on a myers-briggs test who is richie rich um let's see introverted extroverted i think more extroverted yeah uh What's the next one? Short. And the other one. F or the other. I just know what I. Have you ever done one of those? The Myers-Briggs?

I have, but I can't remember because it's always just an acronym. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But some people really stick with it. I know. I have friends who go on dating websites and people list that as like, oh, I'm an EF and TM, TNT. TMI, am I right?

If you look for any of those combinations, Wikipedia has like famous people who would be considered that. It's a, it's, but is it, is there science behind it or is it like saying you're an Aquarius? I think there's like a psychological thing. I mean, it's more than your star sign. Right. Like you do a test and answer questions. We had to do it in elementary school. Really?

So they could sort you into. No, it was for the like. You'll be in the dweebs. You're in the sportos. But then we had to write an essay about what we think this means. We had to do it on a Saturday morning. While the principal threatened to kick our asses. What were you in detention for?

Oh, I stayed with all the guys, wiener to the locker. That seems like it should be a criminal offense. Yeah. It seems like a guy's wiener to the locker. That seems like it should be a criminal offense. That's like a guy's wiener to a locker. That's an assault. And then I shot it with a flare gun. Oh, wow. Dave. Why would you do that?

You know, I was going through a rough time at home. We were between cable providers. Did you guys, you settled on it, but it was different. It was a big debate around the house well this one you know they'll bundle that was a hard time

for any kid when the channels are gonna change I mean oh yeah it used to be oh when the channels every fall

like why do they do that do they cause I remember being like here we go gotta tune in to PJ Katie's Farm or whatever. Yeah. And then you turn it on. It's not there anymore.

Yeah. They've moved. They've shuffled YTV onto channel 21 instead of 25. Oh, they moved it lower. Well, they always wanted to get the Canadian channels lower and the American ones higher. Okay. Because you would stop. Well, yeah.

Because you could watch, you know, Saturday Night Live would be on channel 16, but you could watch it on channel 11. Which is the Canadian channel, but it didn't really matter because of simultaneous substitution where they put the Canadian ads in the American shows anyway. Guys, I know a little bit about this. And that's about it. So, big move. wood-burning fireplace. We're burning every night. Every night? How long have you been there?

A month. Okay. So, March was just burning. Yeah. What are you going to do in the summertime? What are you going to burn then? Ice cubes? Yeah, what's cold?

Popsicles? Yeah, popsicles. Because they would light on fire because of the little wood sticking. Yeah, a little kindling there. Now I'm a fire expert. But then you don't get to read the joke. Don't get to see the punchline. I'll smell it, like the smoke.

It'll smell funny. Yeah. Yeah. Because whenever I'm around a fire, I end up just staring at it. Oh, yeah. And that's the activity that you do with a fire, I end up just staring at it. Oh yeah. And like that, that's the activity that you do with a fire. Yeah.

We put the TV on top, like we mounted it on the wall. It was very expensive. And it's like too high for me. So I feel like I'm ruining my neck. Cause the fireplace is taking up so much real estate. So most of the time I am just staring at the TV or like staring at the fire and listening to the TV. Yeah.

Oh, like old timey radio. Yeah. Oh, the William Grace hour is on. The little children are cooking food for a British man. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. We had a fireplace in my house growing up, but never since. We went to go and buy like a poker for it, and they didn't even sell them at Home Depot.

Oh, yeah. Where would you, you got to go to like an antique shop? Oh, we went next door to Canadian Tire. We just got a fresh shipment of pokers. Pokers and what are those things? They're like clamps. The bellows. Oh, yeah.

The bellows are the ones that blow the air. But just the, yeah. There's fire clams. We just went from the poker to start. We'll work our way up. Because isn't there like there's kind of an ornament that has several on them? Yeah. We just went with one.

We just had one poker. Because you guys can't settle on a bellow. He wants a macho man. Brandon Bellow. Yeah, when I was a kid, we had a macho man Brandon pillow. Yeah, when I was a kid, we had a fireplace and I was obsessed.

Yeah. Like, I would, when we finished, you know, a two liter thing of milk cardboard thing, I'd be like,

all right, let's burn it. Yeah. All our cardboard, there was no, this was before recycling was. Yeah. Well,

and I knew people down the street that like Lit their leaves on fire Like they would Outside? Outside Oh yeah People still do that

Really? Yeah Are you allowed? You don't need a fireplace for it It's true Are you allowed to just light fires Any fire whenever you want? That doesn't seem right

You have to be playing Light My Fire Or equivalent song on a Like blaring on a stair What's an equivalent song? She's Got It, Baby She's Got It, Eternal Flame. These are songs that make me think of fire. What else is a good fire song? Dave, come back to the microphone.

Dave, where are you going? Dave's lighting something on fire. No, Dave. I'm to the microphone. Dave, where are you going? Dave's lighting something on fire. No, Dave. I'm a fire starter. Twisted fire starter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we do that? Can we do that?

Which? Arson? No, can we be the prodigy? Yeah, sure. Do you know that song, Firestarter? I do not. Sing it for me. Okay, that was basically it.

Yeah. But like in the background, there was somebody always going, hey, hey, hey. Yeah. So, you know what? Listeners at home, mix those two things together. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, This is really good. This was music? This was music. Okay.

No, this was a play. This was the music that my teacher would make us listen to. Does your teacher have a teaching degree? No. Wait a minute. You know, there was a couple teachers that I was like, they must have just got to school in the bubble. Or just walked into the classroom before the teacher. Yeah.

Locked the door. Frank Abig nailed it. Yeah. I am here to teach you looks around the room. Globe. Yeah. Book. That's what's for dinner.

You've got a poster here with Denzel Washington reading that says read. So books. I was thinking because yesterday we went to Van Dusen Gardens and they had a statue. I think it was a statue of George Vancouver. And I thought of him being like, what's your name? My name? George. And then he saw a van.

And then a cougar. It's a dove cooing. Yeah. And I think if anyone's name is George, it's like, yeah, it's George. There's a lady washing herself. Wash. And there's a ton of feathers or lead. Washing ton. and there's a ton of feathers or lead. Washington.

Now, I don't think I've ever been to these Van Dusen gardens. These so-called Van Dusen gardens. Yeah, these fancy Van Dusen gardens. Where is Oak and 37? You been? It's a real tourist trap. Is it indoor, outdoor? It's outdoor.

Outdoor. Okay. And they light it up with, at Christmas time, they'll just put out all sorts of fancy light displays. Yeah.

It's beautiful. At Halloween, they'll do a big pumpkin fuck. Easter, they do an egg fuck. Well, no, that's why we were there. Oh. We went to the family egg fuck.

Well, no, that's why we were there. Oh. We went to the family egg fuck. Do you want to get to know me? Oh, sure. Why not? Well, I just got a fireplace. Oh, congratulations.

You know what? You can't have a fireplace anymore. You can have them. You just can't build one anymore. What? Really? Like it's. Oh, so you've got. I'm grandfathered in.

Oh man, you can never move. No, that's it. Now that you know how much you love fire, the coziness of the fire. It can't go back.

It can't go back. Wish I could participate in this. It's really, like we are nailing it. Yeah, so I went, yesterday was Easter. Sorry listeners, we pre-taped these. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So I went, uh, yesterday was Easter. Sorry, listeners. We pre-taped these.

Yeah. Um, and, uh, yeah. So we went and you go, you bring your kids. You better bring your kids. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good call. They don't let you in.

They've got like a sign. You must have this many kids to enter. Yeah. One at least. At least. And if you're dressed like a kid, all the worse. You get negative points. You have to bring two kids.

Per diaper you're wearing. Yeah. So, yeah, we go, and it was nice. Yeah. Like, it was, they have a system to it, though. Like, you're on a path. They're not, there's not eggs everywhere. You go to one patch of eggs.

You got to pick up two green eggs, two purple eggs. I see. And. So they're not hidden? No. Oh. They're not hidden at all. They're not.

You're just shopping for eggs. Yeah. And then the eggs don't have anything in them. Because like. So it's just the thrill of the hunt. Yeah. You then at the don't have anything in them. So it's just the thrill of the hunt. Then at the end, you exchange your eggs. Really, you exchange your wristband for like a little basket full of chocolate. Nice.

So everyone, like it's basically, because if it was real eggs, the big kids would just push the little kids out of the way. Get all the eggs. You just sit there, just belly distended after eating so many eggs. So yeah. Did you do that when you were a kid? Easter egg hunt? Just like in our house.

Like my mom would hide things around, but I was just at this Cascade last night, a bar in town, and we looked over and on the ledge, there were just a bunch of Easter eggs and the person I was with was like, oh great, they've got a little egg hunt. And I reached over and on the ledge there were just a bunch of easter eggs and the person i was with was like oh great they've got a little egg hunt and they reached over and ate one it was like you don't know that you're supposed to eat that i mean was it wrapped it was wrapped well then yeah you are if you find an egg pick it up and all the day you'll have a good luck yeah

i don't know it seemed you you were like i think this was decorative yeah yeah it was festive now no one else can enjoy easter yeah yeah that's true once the eggs are gone sun's down yeah yeah go home now did she enjoy this yeah young margo you know it was like a really good way to do it because you know you don't our house is a mess and like outdoor like we wouldn't do it outdoors because it's in our backyard just because it's a bigger mess right um and uh yeah so it's like and there's tons of kids it's totally fun yeah it's it takes half an hour yeah it's it's somewhere to go it's somewhere to go. It's somewhere to go. And it's like,

it is like an activity, but I remember it, you know, cause it follows on the, it's kind of like you have Valentine's day. They're sort of candy related there. Oh yeah. Have you today,

have you gone to your local Rexall and bought all the, I will be going after this podcast. I will be buying discount candy, but as much as I can carry out of the store um but yeah so uh we went and at the end there's like bouncy castles and food trucks and you know there's like a kids dance party with these two ladies who like do like positive dance steps for kids that should be at every dance party. And at the end, at the end of their like dance spiel, like they'll do a song and like show kids the dance moves.

And then when it's over, okay, everyone now we'll get, we're going to go around and we're all going to say, I am awesome. And then you have to tell some other people you are awesome. And I was like yeah but I would have liked that if I was I would have needed that if I was like older

when I was six I was like yeah I'm awesome I know everyone tells me this all the time we need somebody to go around to the high schools exactly or nightclubs like hit up the Roxy or like green rooms of comedy clubs to the high schools. Exactly. Or nightclubs. Yeah. Like, hit up the Roxy. Or, like, green rooms of comedy clubs.

Yeah. There certainly is a definite need for it in modern nightclubs. Like, you don't have to do this. Yeah. People like you for you.

Yeah. And also, it would be amazing to know some dance steps. Oh, yeah. Why won't anyone tell us? Yeah. What are the rules?

The people who know them are very hesitant to share. God. And the people who don't know are just flailing. Yeah. I was just thinking, like, six-year-old Dave did not need any more wind in his sails. If anything. Yeah. He could have been taken down.

Yeah, really. It was like, knock it off He could have been taken down. Yeah, really. It was like, knock it off. Should have been their mantra. Sit quietly station. Don't say everything you think. Yeah, the

I'm trying to think. I don't think I ever went to a public egg thing an organized egg event it was always in the house there would always be eggs that went unaccounted for my parents couldn't remember where they had hidden and then at Halloween

and then a couple weeks later your dog needs to be taken to the vet as we at the end of the thing there were in the garden it wasn't like it's too early

in the season unfortunately like none of the nothing was blooming right but there were two geese there and I've

been seeing geese all around the city in pairs I saw some outside exactly right I saw some in my office or outside oh what

yeah how the fuck did you think that'd be scary I don't know but they're not leaving yeah Are you right? I saw some in my office or outside my house. How the fuck did they get in there? That'd be scary. I don't know, but they're not leaving. These are dangerous. They are, but I feel like I could kick one in the neck. That's a small target, though. It's long, but it's skinny.

I know, but it's coming right at me. The thing about a goose is that it's kind of like, it's like a chicken-snake hybrid. Like, it's got this crazy snake coming out of this chicken's body. It's very, like, people. The best of both worlds. The only people I see going near them are people who have never seen one before. Yeah. Like, I'm like, you're a tourist.

You do not know that that's going to, it's going to try and bite you. The goose will get you. Yeah. Especially this time of year because they're all in pairs. And I think they'd be fucking. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Like don't approach these geese. They're on a date. Don't cock block the geese. That's on our money up here in Canada. Don't cock block a geese. Yeah, it's in Latin. Yeah. That's on our money up here in Canada. Don't cockblock a geese. Yeah, it's in Latin. Yeah, because... Have you seen any duos?

I saw the duo of geese. We both saw the same duo of geese hanging out in an industrial park. Yeah. So I was like, what? Why are you here? And they're probably like, we just saw the same duo of humans. Yeah. Well, I posted a picture.

Probably fucking. Yeah, shame on us for assuming. Yeah, that's right. I posted a picture of this duo of geese and someone said, oh, those are the two geese who attacked me at the movie theater the other day. And I was just thinking. At the movie theater? Well, outside. Or.

Would you mind being quiet? Popcorn everywhere. theater outside or you're like can you be quiet popcorn everywhere but i'm just like not just two geese that are going around town that you keep seeing yeah multiple geese it's not like seeing the same you know volkswagen bug around town oh i saw that car yesterday. Yeah. There's one park by the main train station and that seems to be like where the geese really have just taken over. Man, oh man, I'm afraid. I'm afraid

of that park. I'll avoid it. I'll actively avoid it. Not that I have tons of business down at the Greyhound station. Hanging at the park outside the Greyhound station. I just like to know the comings and goings. Who's here? Who's selling something on a towel? I like to hang out between two A&Ws. That's why I go to that park. That's probably our closest proximity of A&W.

Yeah. That's probably our closest proximity of A&W. Yeah. Yeah, the one in the train station's got to close, right? Because the other one's so new. But you can't park there. You know what? They got to keep them both.

Your thoughts. You know, I used to work at an A&W. Did you? Yeah, yeah, when I was in high school. So I've had enough. Really? I'm fine. Yeah, we're when I was in high school. So I've had enough. Really? I'm fine. Yeah, we're done.

Was it good? No. But I did used to make a very good personalized custom snack where I would get a hamburger bun and then just put four hash browns inside of it. And that would be like my break meal. Nice. Are you a vegetarian now? Yeah. Were you then?

I was like dabbling. Do you. So I'd eat the poutine, but I'd be like, it's probably not real gravy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was, did you ever work in any other fast food? That was it. Okay. So you can't compare it. Because I feel like A&W is a higher standard.

Because in their commercials, they say they are. And I'm sold. Yeah. But also, I always thought, I thought of the fast foods that Wendy's was the, because they're like, they never freeze stuff. And I was like, ooh, you must not have to know what you're doing. So you're just leaving it out warm on the counter. Yeah.

Yeah. There's more botulism here than any other fast food chain. Just our nice sun-roasted hamburgers. Yeah. Did you ever get employee of the month? No. No. At Van Dusen Gardens yesterday, they had tree of the month.

Oh, who won? I was on Latin. It wasn't just elm. You go elm. Yeah, I didn't recognize it. Wow. I love it. Tree of the month.

If you guys had to name a tree of the month, what would it be? Oh, boy. The tree of the month for April? For April? Hmm. Cherry blossom tree. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. That's correct. No, I'm going to go Christmas tree. Unconventional, but a very popular tree. They're flying under the radar right now, you know? They're just drying out. Yeah. Speaking of kindling, how about you?

Ooh, top tree. Family tree. How about that? Yeah, that's true. Ancestry.ca over here. Sponsored by. Yeah. Would you ever do an Ancestry thing?

One of those kits? Yeah, why not? I did a 23andMe. Did you? Mm-hmm. How'd you find out? I was like, just in case Max and I are related. Like, it'd just be nice to know.

Just peace of mind. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird because it tells you a lot of things that you already know about yourself, but it's still kind of delightful. It'll be like, you probably have freckles. And I'm like, how'd you know? You probably don't know that prodigy song. That would be great if it could tell you stuff like that.

Yeah. Well, yeah, if it told you your favorite show. You're like, I never even heard of that show. But then you'd be like, I'm so basic. It knows everything about me. Yeah. But it didn't tell you, or it did tell you it told you origin as well and it was just like just so white it was i was really disappointed i wanted a little a little something fun in there

90s yeah the way i dance i assumed these hips did lie yeah it's just like every everyone on like the united kingdom got together and made me and nobody else was invited maybe a little drop of swedish or something in there a little gang is gone i think everybody's got oh sure oh yeah well in a past life i graham what's up with you this week um this uh on saturday i went to a double feature i went and saw two movies in one night was it an actual double feature no i made it a feature did you buy tickets to both yes i didn't do an illegal double feature although very easily could have i realized uh especially after the first movie i was like well i'm not going out and getting my ticket tour and I'm just going to go right into the other theater.

And then I was like, why did I pay for the second movie? So you bought both tickets in advance. You knew you were going to do it. Yeah. Because you didn't worry that your leg would cramp up in the middle. How long is the movie theater open every day? Could you be there for, buy a ticket for like a 12 p.m showing and just stay there for 12 hours yeah probably yeah yeah i mean like there would definitely be a couple gaps where you'd have to

you know go play a video game or whatever but maybe not i mean like it depends on run length of the film when i was in la a couple weeks ago because i haven't been to a movie in a month but like years is too much but uh i was there with pat kelly and we went to a there was a movie theater next to our hotel and we showed up and there was just nothing starting for 45 minutes and we're like yeah never mind yeah yeah yeah yeah there's uh like the the reason that this was doable was because uh both movies were under two hours and like... Back to back.

Yeah. They were kind of running on the same schedule. So we're going to guess the movies. Okay. The first one... Yeah. Well, it doesn't matter which one. Was one under two hours.

So not Black Panther. Not Black Panther. Already seen Black Panther. Love Black Panther. Really enjoyed it. Really enjoyed it. I haven't seen a movie in months. Yeah.

You're a busy man. Let's see. I'm just looking around the room. I don't know what movies are out right now. Yeah, exactly. There were two brand new. Brand. What?

Moana? Moana? Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of them was Moana. Brand new. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I think both of them was Moana. Brand new. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, all right. I think both of them started this weekend. Okay, yeah. And they were movies that I was like, I better see them this weekend because I don't know how long. Oh, Isle of Dogs. Isle of Dogs. Yeah. Did you love it?

I loved it. Yeah. Did you see it? No. But I can't wait. Yeah. There are 23 of me definitely saw it. It was like, you like Wes Anderson.

Thank you. Of course I do. Yeah. Isle of Dogs. And then the second one was called The Death of Stalin. Oh, yeah. Armando Iannucci. I think we can say Stalin.

Stalin. Yeah, sorry. Quit Stalin, Graham, and tell us what movies you want. The Nooch. The Nooch. And both were really good. And in the second. What theater has them both?

International Bill. So there were no, there were kids that showed up. It's a 19 plus theater. There's a lot of suggestive nudity by this guy um it's a 19 plus theater really yeah yeah because they serve alcohol there now so you is the rio uh yeah i think so yeah and uh so yeah until the end of the day and uh the uh i think they're going to make it. I feel like the Rio's going to make it.

I thought they were saved. Everyone's still saving it. For the people not from here, there's a movie theater called the Rio. We've performed there. We've done a live show there. Yeah. The, you know, Brown Recluse Kills White Recluse was there. Yeah, that's right.

And it's been, it's like basically out of an 80s movie. Like, if you raise a million dollars by the end of this weekend, we'll save the movie. Yeah, exactly. It's like an oil baron is buying it. If there's oil underneath the theater, they're not going to demolish it either. They're just going to drill right through the theater, have a derrick up top. They're not going to demolish it either. They're just going to drill right through the theater, have a Derek up top.

Yeah, so there's no kids in these theaters. And so there was a couple of disappointed kids that I think wanted to see Ready Player One. I'm like, that's playing everywhere. Why did you drive to this theater? They're like, we drove all this way. I'm like, get back in your car, go to the next theater over. You said this to them? I did. And look, everybody knows. I'm like, get back in your car. Go to the next theater over. You said this to them? I did.

And look, everybody knows that I'm rude. I'm a rude dude. I got no filter. Do you have a toad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a toad. Cool but rude. Yeah, I'm cool but rude.

Thank you. And then so at the very beginning of the second movie, just as the trailer. What did you see first? Isle of Dogs first. Death of Stalin second. Dogs before Stalin. Never been fallen down from disappointment. There it is. Stalin before dogs.

Ooh, you're caught in a fog of confusion. We'll workshop it. It's cool to put the rhyme in the middle, but just as the lights went down in the theater, mayor of Vancouver came into the theater. Yeah. Grego, Grego.

And, uh, I guess his pal, I was going to say security detail, his pal. Can you be both? But I, but I was like,

I wonder if he came in just before so that nobody would see that the mayor was just like sitting there watching a movie. Because I was conscious of it the whole time. What does the mayor think about? Am I enjoying this as much as the mayor? The dense swearing of Armando Iannucci. Is that what it is? Yeah, yeah. In my head, he's wearing a suit.

Like he's still dressed like the mayor. Oh, in my head, he's wearing a suit. Like, he's still dressed like the mayor. Oh, in my head, he's wearing Gore-Tex bike gear. Yeah, he was wearing just, like, casual, you know, casual cool guy clothes. A fleece? Probably a fleece. And, like, you know, not, I don't think he was wearing jeans. I think, like, one dressier than a jean. Oh, okay.

Like a slack. Overall. Yeah. He had a big thing of hay sticking out of his mouth. I'm starting to wonder if this wasn't the mayor. Wait a minute. He had a jug of triple X alcohol. I reckon that he was not.

And then he stayed until everybody had left the theater before he left. And he did a Q&A? What does the mayor think of this movie? Special Q&A with the mayor. Yeah, that would suck to be the mayor. Yeah. Right? Well, like just going into the lobby of a movie theater and like, hey, you suck any more bike lanes buddy yeah i was kind of thinking

like that's probably what he has to do every time he goes to a movie is wait like right till it starts and then just sneak in and then do the same to leave probably same getting on a plane probably has to get on last where was he hiding before he came into the theater? You think it'd be better to get into the theater because it's dark. Do you buy tickets in advance? Yeah, you buy a seat. You pick your seat. Oh, boy.

They invented that system for mayors. And yeah, it's, I don't know, like, drinking and watching a movie, I didn't do it, but I can see why. I can see why people would be into it. But I don't know why they gave them, like, glassware. Oh, it's classy. Yeah. So they can charge four extra dollars, I think. I know, but you would still, like.

People just keep dropping and smashing them during the movie. smashing them during the movie. Do they have like at a regular movie theater collector's cups, but just like collector's glasses of the different crystal dogs from Isle of Dogs? Yeah, nice glassware for your sherry, I guess. It's in a crystal. Nothing like sherry in a movie.

Very sophisticated. I'm in the weird situation now with kids and wanting to see Isle of Dogs of being like, I guess I have to get a babysitter so I can go watch a cartoon. I don't know that, like, I guess kids would like it because there's nothing bad. There's nothing in it that a kid couldn't see. Yeah. Because there's nothing bad, there's nothing in it that a kid couldn't see. Yeah.

But it's also like, you know, a lot of long stretches of them just walking around. So I don't know if kids would think it was good or, who knows, you know? You never know with a kid. I don't know. Get one of them on here. When she's old enough, we'll have Marlon really grill her about it. Yeah. What's it like being a kid yeah

why do you make me turn off the boss baby 45 minutes in because it gets scary it's because he's screaming he's doing that speech it's not him

who's scary no who's scary I don't know I've never seen it how does it end you got a babysitter so you can watch the end of boss baby someone i think it's maybe steve beshemi's voice oh yeah yeah yeah and but she loves moana which has like the scariest lava monster in it yeah and the ocean just generally

is pretty terrifying right we can all agree yeah like i when i was like a kid i i think jaws was the scariest thing that ever could exist in the history of anything because it was anything water just seemed like that's where terrible things are going to happen the unknown but then other scary things that wasn't 10 000 bowls of shark fin soup later. You love swimming. He's got a mug of it going right now. Makes me a little gassy, but it perks me up. Here's the Lifton Instant shark fin soup. Just a dry shark fin comes out.

This room stinks. And there's protesters outside. Stink. And there's protesters outside. Yeah, so I went and saw a double feature. I love it. And then last night I watched, which I've never watched one of these live musical experiences. Oh, JC Soups.

Yeah. I watched, as the cool kids call it. Yeah. And man, I kids call it. Yeah. And, man, I really enjoyed it. It was, but everybody on Twitter was saying that it was the best one that has been. The Greece one was okay. Oh,

yeah. Who was in it? Was it Julianne Hough? Julianne Hough and Danny Trejo. Oh, they had to get a guy named danny they tried it with another type of actor another name they wouldn't respond they were like they got daniel stern but they kept calling him danny and he was like no i'm daniel yeah

you have a danny treya in gree. He's like the least likely Danny. Yeah, he really is when you break it down. But anyways, Jesus Christ Superstar. What a ride. Were you familiar with it before? One song. Which one? Jesus Christ Superstar.

Oh, I guess two songs. I knew that one, and then I knew the King Herod song. Oh, the come on, King. Oh, the Jew. Where's that? The Pontius Pilate. My name's King Herod and I'm here to say.

No, yeah, he's King Herod because he only has one song in the whole musical and that was Alice Cooper as King Herod. That's fun. That's just good, clean fun. Cooper Superstar. Yeah, and it was it was really. Jesus Cooper Superstar?

I don't think the people in the crowd knew that Alice Cooper was going to be coming out Because everybody went nuts It was in front of an audience? Yeah Oh It's live, right? Live The other ones have all been like

Closed On a set Oh no, yeah, this was This was like On a set, live In front of An audience in I think it was filmed in Brooklyn

Oh, okay Because I've seen the I saw the Sound of Music with Jewel? No. Danny Trail. Carrie Underwood. Yeah, yeah.

I saw the Peter Pan with Alison Williams. Yeah. I, these things are terrible without an audience. Yeah. They're just like, it's like a soap opera. Like it looks like a soap opera. They finish a song, it's like a soap opera. Like, it looks like a soap opera. They finish a song and there's nothing.

I didn't realize that those other ones didn't have an audience. Because you're right. Like, watching it would be unbearable. Like, what's the point? They're trying to make you have cable. Yeah. Yeah. But, like, how do you, yeah, I don't.

Anyways, it was like, it was really good. And it was like, during the ads, they had a little block in the corner that showed you what was going on backstage. Like a picture in picture. Yeah, picture in picture. And I was, and it was like after the crucifixion scene, then when I saw him getting off the cross, it was like, oh, I feel better. I actually felt, I was like, Oh, I feel very, very sad. But John legend's fine.

Oh, was he Jesus? He was Jesus. Oh, I thought he was Judas. Only because. Wow. Traditionally.

The guy, Judas. The Judas's have been black. He was a guy from, uh, the musical Hamilton. Oh, yeah. So this is I learned all sorts of stuff. Judas is the juicy part.

I'm curious about this backstage cam. Is everybody just walking around? Is Donald Trump checking out the young ladies? There was a lot of hugging backstage. I think there was a lot of, you know a lot of hugging backstage. I think there was a lot of, uh, you know, uh,

they sang marriage to each other, break a leg, whatever you're supposed to say. And there was a lot of, uh, you know, costume changes. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What if you had the audio too, and it was just going over, that would be the best. Then I wouldn't be watching any commercial. I'd really just be watching the backstage.

Uh, but yeah, more, more of that. Then I wouldn't be watching any commercial. I'd really just be watching the backstage. But yeah, more of that. Although I can't think of another musical. That's it. There's five. Cats. Cats would be. You'd watch Cats. I definitely would watch Cats. Easter makes sense for Jesus Christ Superstar. And they've been doing them on American Thanksgiving.

When they first started doing them. Cats would be, that would be them. Yeah. Cats would be that would be something to see. I would definitely watch that. I would also watch if they did Phantom of the Opera

or Les Mis or Roller Skate 1. Can they make any of these Thanksgiving themed in any way? I feel like there needs to be more of a timely time.

Oh sure. Instead of cats turkey. Easy fix. Easy fix. Next. Instead of roller skating trains, it's roller skating leprechauns. St. Patrick's Day done.

Yeah. What is another musical? Oklahoma. You know, Plymouth Rock. Oh, boy. Well, do we want to move on to a bit of business? Yeah. Time for a bit of business.

Oh, top of the business to you. And to you, sir. This week, we've got a Jumbotron message to start us off. If you want to get on our Jumbotron, go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron message to start us off If you want to get on our Jumbotron Go to MaximumFun.org Slash Jumbotron Now this is a This one is a good one for local people People visiting Vancouver

People just passing through Yeah, people who are Amblin Marooned You want to go to Biketourvancouver.com Say to go to biketourvancouver.com. Say that again. Biketourvancouver.com to book your bicycle tour.

Stop podcasting yourself fans planning a trip to Vancouver. Book a bicycle tour with Vancouver Bike Tours and enjoy a fun, informative ride around the city with a fellow bumper. It's a good way to see the city. We got them bike lanes that the city with a fellow bumper. It's a good way to see the city. Yeah. We got them bike lanes that the mayor put in. Yeah. Uh, we got, uh, what do we, what else? We got a park.

We got a giant park for biking. Huge park for bike. We got, uh, lots of, uh, places to lock up your bike. And I guess it sounds from the sounds of this, a bumper is going to lead your tour. It's almost too much fun. Yeah. So yeah, do that.

Let's say it again. Biketour too much fun. Yeah. So, yeah, do that. Let's say it again. Biketourvancouver.com. And this episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself is also brought to you by Zip Recruiter. The Crute. The Crute's back. Gotta love the Crute. Now, uh. You hiring?

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Don't you wish there was an easy way to find out about only the most important info you need? Hi, we're Lisa. And Emily. Why don't you try our podcast, Baby Geniuses? On each episode of our podcast we discuss a weird wikipedia page such as flatulence humor clamato catalan witches clippy the microsoft office helper death during consensual sex and the talking mongoose we ask each other stupid questions uh if you if you got a packet with like 300 seeds in, what kind of plant would you choose the seeds to be?

That felt like you were assigned to ask me a question and there were certain words you weren't allowed to use. We talk about Martha Stewart, her pony, and other celebrity horse news. Ben Chunch. Every other week on Maximum Fun with Baby Geniuses. Overheard. Overheard.

It's a segment where we may or may not hear things. It's hard to say. We don't know. Exactly. But we always do like to start with the guest. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Stacey, would you please?

I would love to. So I was in a fitness class the other day bragging i know you can't see me listener but i'm jacked yeah i was gonna say jacked yeah yeah let's uh yeah we were shredded yeah yeah um roasted yeah yeah you're roasted i I'm toasty. Yeah, I'm toasted. And the instructor had like a little headset on and she was doing a very. Sing it. Like there's a lot of description in this class. Like they do a lot of micro instruction, you know, like tuck your ribs into your heart and then lift your waist and tuck. Like a lot of the time I'm like, I don't know how bodies can do that. But it's just a constant stream of like, she's talking, talking, talking, talking.

And then at the end of the class, she didn't turn her microphone off. She, she started at the end of the class to have a personal conversation, but didn't turn the microphone off right away. I love it. So, so it went like,

okay, keep stretching. Like, just listen to what your body tells you to do. You know, try some quad stretches. I got attacked by a dog. And then it just cut off she was like done uh so always remember class i was attacked by a dog and if i wasn't so fit

yeah it would have finished off the job yeah or this is why i became a fitness oh yeah yeah this was the genesis yeah so thank So thank you, menacing dog. Sending me down the path to self-fulfillment. Yeah. So that was mine. Is it, are you like, aerobics? What do you, what do you, what do they, are you on bikes? Oh, you, you're a CrossFit.

You know it. You do the big tire. Just the wiggling the rope. That's it. Start with a string and then you work your way up. Well, I start with one of those pencils. Just a regular pencil, but I make it look like a rubber pencil. Yeah. So I put the micro movements.

I started with this thing called ClassPass where you can just go and take a bunch of different classes. So I'm always doing something different. I took, it was like an indoor surfing class the other day. That was pretty terrible. What do you get on a board and they wobble it around? Yeah. Oh, okay. I was thinking towels to make the waves.

Big towels or a parachute. Or maybe like seagull noises. Yeah. Close your eyes and use your imagination. I fell off so many times. Yeah. Never tried. Never tried surfing.

Probably never will. But you know what. Never tried surfing. Probably never will. But you know what? Never say never. Have you done stand-up paddle boarding? No. You gotta. Yeah. Is it the most romantic?

It's fine. Maybe that's a comedy show. Stand-ups doing stand-up. Oh. You know? Everybody go down to Kids Beach. Get a weird PA system where they have to. There's a microphone on a paddle board.

Swim out to it. Oh boy. I mean. We'll workshop. We'll workshop. It's not the worst idea. What's the worst stand up show idea you've heard? That I've heard?

Or that came true. That existed was a guy I knew that when WestJet first started and he did stand up on the plane from Vancouver to Calgary. So he did like 45 minutes into the speaker or whatever. Was he invited to do that? Not only was he invited. Ooh, hey, microphone. Like, I think they only did it there and they were like, this is a no-go. You can just sit on the playback.

They just left him in Calgary. No. You live here now. Dave, do you have an overheard? No. No. No. I mean, at the egg hunt yesterday, it also happened to be April Fool's Day, which as

a jokester myself, I think it's like our Christmas. I like a prank. What's your favorite prank? Oh, like a bucket of water on the door. Oh, sure. Classic. That is a classic. Classic. Person comes

in, ruins their hairdo. Maybe if they're carrying an electronic, it also ruins that. Yeah, I usually, you know what now? It's plugged in. Person comes in, ruins their hairdo. Yeah. Maybe if they're carrying an electronic, it also ruins that. Yeah. I usually, you know what now. It's plugged in. It ruins everything. Yeah. Just, you know, straight flat ironing my hair while I walk through the door.

In the doorway. So it was, there was just like a mother and her husband and her child. And she was on the phone talking to someone. And she was like, and in my room or in my whatever the daughter's name, the room of the daughter, the light bulb wasn't working. I went to replace it. There's no water anywhere. But the light bulb was filled with water. I think it was an April Fool.

But I asked my daughter and she pinky swore that she didn't do it. My husband says no, so I don't know what it could be. You have to declare that it's an April Fool's Day prank. That's part of the etiquette. It's like you have to, at some point, let people off the hook and say, April Fool's. You don't have to wait until the very next year and then you reveal it? What's the statute of limitations? Noon.

Yeah. Yeah, I think it was noon was that. That was the teacher's line on it, at least. No, I think that's universally. That's legally. Yeah, legally. Noon, and then it's like if you try to prank after noon, you are the fool. Did you guys get any pranks done to you this year?

Or witness any pranks? No, I saw, it was Easter too, so. Yeah. That's a, you know. I saw some of the

corporate ones. Oh, yeah. Corporate pranks, that's always. Yeah, where the corporations do a prank. Like the cans of milk. Yeah.

Yeah. Carbonated milk. Carbonated milk. And I was like, yeah, I guess. You got us, you got us good. That's milk. Yeah. Yeah. Carbonated milk. Carbonated milk. And I was like, yeah, I guess. You got us. You got us good. That's fine. It really was quite down in the mouth about it this year.

I was like, fine. McDonald's like made a big W instead of an M. We got you. Didn't they do that for International Women's Day? Oh, yeah. It's a long-term April Fool yeah long term the greatest prank of all um uh so yeah yeah my answer is no i didn't really know okay fair enough um my overheard uh comes courtesy of uh sitting in a cab and hearing the conversation between the dispatch and a cabbie over the radio and i guess

this uh cab driver had been sitting at this place for a long time and the dispatch guy was like why haven't you left yet and the guy said i got here and i called the guy and the guy said i'll be right down i just got out of the shower so he's like i I don't know. He called the cab and then hopped in the shower. And the dispatch guy thought that was hilarious. It was, yeah. But like, usually you call a cab when you need a cab.

Not like, I'll get out ahead of this. Sometimes I'm like, I'll start my coffee brewing, jump in the shower, get out and drink that coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I can't think of another situation where I put a shower in the middle of a process. Yeah, it's very rare.

I mean, for sure, I've started a lot of episodes of something on Netflix and then been like, oh, no, I need to shower. Oh, no, I'm filthy. I'm covered in grime. Oh, God. But yeah, oh, no, I need to shower. Oh, no, I'm filthy. I'm covered in grime. But yeah, calling a cab, though, you're committing to going out at that point. What if something had happened? They had every intention of walking out the door, but they spilled peanut butter all over themselves. Somebody had a bucket of peanut butter on the door.

Somebody got pranked. Somebody got pranked. You have to be so slow. Like, oh, no, that peanut butter is going to. Slowly falling. Not even. Like, you could turn a thing of peanut butter upside down. Like a blizzard.

Yeah. You'd have to wear it around your apartment for quite a while. I mean, maybe if it's natural organic peanut butter. Yeah, the oil on the top. It'll goop you up. Yeah, it looks really slimy that stuff the the natural like grind it in the store stuff yeah well is it still good i don't know i've only ever had craft craft peanut butter put your knife in it and it stands up that's all i know

that's all i know about peanut butter yeah put your knife in there and it stands up. That's all I know. That's all I know about peanut butter. That's the slogan. Yeah. Put your knife in there and it stands up as long as you leave that knife in there. And Kraft's a good company. I think they're good to support. And why not? You know? Where else are you going to get peanut butter? From some slimy dispenser at the

grocery store? They can make any nut butter you want. What do you go for? Oh wait, are you allergic to nuts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, this is a sensitive topic. That would be a very bad prank. Do you make your own blends? I haven't done it.

I've just thought about it a lot. Like a pecan butter or something like that? Yeah, that'd be good. Or like, I'm trying to think of one other nut. Hazelnut. Like a hazelnut chocolate? Yeah, they sell that. Nutella.

hazelnut, like a hazelnut chocolate. Yeah, they sell that. Nutella. Also, are you grinding up your own cocoa in there? I brought it from home. Yeah. In addition to the overheards that we have here, we have people from around the world who have sent

in overheards. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. The first one is from Leanne R. Rhymes? Yeah, Leanne Rhymes. Wow. Walking Manhattan the other night, near Times Square,

until Leanne Rhymes moved. New York coyote, ugly. I was behind two men. As we passed a gentleman's club, the bouncer tried to lure the men in by saying, come on in, guys. We have strippers and ice cream inside. That is something for everyone.

Because if you're lactose intolerant, get the strippers. Otherwise, enjoy that ice cream. Yeah, I'm watching my figure. Watching her figure yeah yeah how come I don't know

I know there's like a strip club in Montreal that has like a breakfast buffet but I know maybe that's why they don't do

other things aside from alcohol because it's gross it's gross but ice cream though that could work. What would be the worst food to eat at a strip club? Oh, boy, that's a good question.

I want to say chowder. Yeah, I'm thinking like ribs. Ribs is good. Because you're also with bills on the table and ribs. Yeah. I want to wash my hands. Yeah. I don't know why, but the first thing I thought of was fruit leather.

I think a fruit roll-up would be really gross to eat in a straw. So that's my answer. I'm sticking with it. I think we're all right. Chowder is never. Never a good idea. Yeah. It's gross no matter where you, unless you're in a lighthouse.

It's the only acceptable chowder. I don't think, have I had it? I guess I've had corn chowder. I've never had the clam chowder. I don't know if I have either. Yeah. Do you guys know

what makes a chowder a chowder? Oh, oh, no, MasterChef Junior. It's got to have some potato in it. Oh. Otherwise, just a bisque, baby. A basic bisque. This next one comes from Mark R. I was in the office of the local high school waiting for my job interview to start.

What do you think he was interviewing as? To be the janitor from the breakfast club? I was laughing because his last name is R. Maybe he's Mark Rimes? Mark Rimes. That's good. Yeah. It was before school and a student came to talk to the vice principal in his office.

From their conversation, it was clear that this was a required daily check-in. After they talked about the student's upcoming day, they started chatting and the man says, or the student says, Man, the crossing guard by my house is so nice, vice principal. That's great, student. Yeah, she bought me smokes, vice principal. Well, that's less great.

Oh, man. What a terrible person. Crossing it? Yeah, I'll buy smokes for you. I see you every day. But also, like, the kids' sort of self-awareness of like, oh, yeah, this will be a great thing to sort of build bridges with the principal.

But imagine having to talk to a principal every day. I didn't talk to the principal. But imagine having to talk to a principal every day. I didn't talk to the principal once in my high school. Maybe in high school. I feel like I got in trouble once for having a splash fight in the locker room. But people were chummy with the principal.

I wasn't even... I didn't even say hello. No. Our principal was not... He was going for the be scared of me as opposed to be. Principal. Yeah. He wasn't a principal. He was an overlord.

You know. I feel like the vice principal is usually the one who's got their finger on the pulse. Ours had a rhyming name. His name was Daryl Farrell. And so there were a lot of rumors that his wife was named Cheryl or Meryl. I always believed them until like right. Daryl and Meryl Farrell. Well, that's the best.

And that's the thing. All you need to give is a teenager's one nugget and they will run amok. Until you put on breakfast glove to calm them down. Yeah, okay guys. Okay, we had our fun. Let's listen to the prodigy.

It's just sounds. Isn't that what all music is really, man? It's like jazz. This last one comes It's the sounds they're not making. This one comes from Kelso J. in Brooklyn, New York. I walked past a father and his six-year-old son and overheard this.

The boy stepping quickly towards some birds on the sidewalk shouting, Crows! The father shaking his head, rolling his eyes. Those are pigeons, not crows. Boy, unfazed and still shouting, I kiss birds! Father, no, don't kiss birds. Birds are dirty.

I kiss birds! Why not? Yeah, someone's got to. Yeah. Oh, man. That really got me. You're crying a little. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.

If you want to call us, the phone number is one that is easy to memorize. I've done it, and here it is. 1-844-779-7631. Or 1-UGH-SpyPod1. Like these people have. seven, six, three, one, or one. Ugh. Spy pod one. Like these people have. Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. I'm from Vancouver, so I was like in a Save on Meat, sorry, Save on Foods.

Both courses. It was like maybe 9 p.m. So it was all the weirdos had come out to do their grocery shopping i being one of those weirdos and there was a little bit of trouble at a meat counter at one of the like the meat and cheese counter and i was kind of rubbernecking to see what was going on uh and so this man who is this very angry angry Eastern European man, with like a pretty thick accent, was being unreasonable. And the woman behind the counter looked at him very earnestly and said, sir, I don't feel safe cutting that much meat. I don't feel safe cutting that much meat.

Oh, wow. Yeah. My boss has not shown me how to do pounds of meat. You'd think it would be the same thing over and over, but... But no, usually people are right down to the gram here. Oh. Oh, man. What safety concerns? I mean, that last little nub of the ham, it's going to be tough.

Really bone. I've never seen them keep cutting right up until the end. No, me neither. It's always very hypnotic. Oh, when they have their hand under there and they're catching the pieces? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You guys are rubbernecking at the

meat oh yeah yeah just browsing thank you well yeah i never i do i do not eat it sometimes they'll have a thing that i don't know what it is it's like a block it's like a block of meat because you know like ham has like kind of a shape. Yeah, no, a lot of the like luncheon meats, whatever they are, I guess they're processed in some way. Yeah. Makes them fit into one of those slicers better. Yeah, exactly. Gets the most possible. Push through some sort of cube shaping thing.

Why not a star? Why not, you know, like the other Play-Doh shapes? Crescent moon. Were you talking to me the other day about a moon of ham about uh like uh kebab meat oh yeah yeah about how like sometimes it's like it was like the big thing on a yeah yeah it's gross and that they make that like public and sometimes they'll take pictures of it and like have it proudly displayed. Oh, yeah.

But there's never, it's not photogenic. It's not a photogenic piece of meat. Yeah. Well, like that weird, yeah, the one that they shave. If it's like actual pieces of chicken or whatever, then, you know, it's got some crispy bits. Yeah. Next phone call. Hey, friends uh this is chris from brooklyn uh so charles manson died like not that long ago and on the day that it happened i was standing on

the subway next to these two teens and one of them said to the other one like uh hey everybody's talking today about this guy charles manson that died, but I don't know who that is. Like, who is that? And his friend went, dude, you don't know who Charles Manson is? Charles Manson. Like, wait, was he the one that ate people?

And his friend's like, I just said I don't know. I don't know who he is. And his friend just goes, Charles Manson. Okay. That's it. Thank you. Come on, man.

Charles Manson. Just the name strikes fear. He didn't actually, or am I wrong about this? Did he actually murder anybody or he just convinced people to do it? He convinced his family to murder. There might have been a murder before that all happened. Okay. I don't think they were really his family.

Weren't they like ladies? No, they were not. They were not. Well, there were a couple of guys. Oh, there were some fellas in the... Yeah. I only know... Squeaky?

Squeaky Frome, yeah. That's the one. Yeah, I think, as I recall, there were a few dudes. But it was mostly runaways. Oh, yeah. This isn't being taught in school. Our public school system has failed this person. Me?

That's true. No, this. This guy. And maybe he was a musician that the Beatles met him at some point or something. Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys. Yeah. And the Beach Boys did record one of his songs. Really? Yeah. Which one? Kill All

the Pigs. He was quite handsome, wasn't he? No. Oh, no. I mean... Yes, Daisy was quite handsome. I wouldn't say he was quite handsome. I think, you know, in that sort of 60s quite handsome. I think, you know,

in that sort of 60s way, holding a guitar, there might be some nice pictures of him. Yeah, yeah. But mostly he looks like a maniac. Yeah, he's got some real beady eyes. So a bad boy, huh? He had some really good ideas, though. Here's your final overheard.

Hi, this is Matt. I was walking on a college campus Here's your final overheard. Hi, this is Matt. I was walking on a college campus and the girls in front of me were saying, did you see Ted is dating Tina? She's like, yeah, Ted's really, really cute, isn't he? And then the other was, but he gave Tina scabies. Yeah, he's really, really cute though. I don't know what scabies is.

Can you get it from? Isn't it like grown up chicken pox? No. Or is that shingles? Shingles, yeah. You know what the difference between shingles and scabies is? Potato. A little bit of potato in there.

Yeah, but he was cute. He was like a young Charles Manson. Yeah. Not old Charles Manson. No, but there was like some crazy story that somebody was either telling on like an NPR show about Charles Manson making toys. Like later, you know, when he was in jail, and he would make, like, kids' toys, and then, like, but, like, nobody, only, like, you know, like, people who, like, write to serial killers were like, I want a Charles Manson toy. I could be making this. Scabies is not an infection, but an infestation.

Oh. It's like lice, kind of. Tiny mites. Ugh. That set up shop in the outer layers of human skin. I think that's worse. I think that's worse than getting shingles or something. Yeah, I don't know.

Shingles is really bad. Would I rather scabies or shingles? Socially, I would rather have shingles. Yeah. But I think just like in terms of getting rid of it, probably scabies is probably easier to. Shingles in the streets, scabies in the sheets. There you go. You it, probably scabies is probably easier to. Shingles in the streets. Scabies in the sheets. There you go.

You don't want scabies in your sheets, though. Keep them out of your sheets. I cannot make this. I think you really need to then get rid of your bedding. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that brings us to the end of this here podcast. Stacey, you have your own podcast.

True. After Chef Junior. Listen up on iTunes. We got a whole season to go here. Yeah. After Chef Junior. Listen up on iTunes. We've got a whole season to go here. Yeah. It's exciting. How long is the season? 13 eps?

Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly right. Nice. Dave. This guy. This guy knows. I've got some comments.

I do improv and sketch as well. We've got a show. What's the name of your improv or sketch? One of them is called Nasty Women. It's a group of 10 wonderful or sketch? One of them is called Nasty Women. It's a group of 10 wonderful comedians from across the city. And we do an improv and sketch show at the Biltmore Cabaret here in Vancouver every month. So our next show is April 23rd. Nasty Women.

April 23rd. Yeah. Is that? Yeah, probably. I'll probably make it until. Or May. Or sometime in May. Yeah, no, April 23rd will be just fine.

Yeah, yeah, just fine. And your other improv? Yeah, so I've got another. I've got too many. Too many to count. Tell me about it. Yeah, check me out on the internet. Okay.

Come follow me around. Do you have a Twitter? Did we ask you? Just StacyMcLaughlin.com. There it is. Okay. One stop shop. One stop shop.

Yeah. I like that. That's a weird name. Like, it's not a weird name. No, but it's like, every time I hear the name McLaughlin,

I feel like there's a G in there. Oh no. But I know there's not, but it sounds like McLaughlin. Yeah. It's M-C-L-A-C-H-L-A-N. Everybody happy? Yeah.

Happy now? I guess I've never truly been happy. I'm joyful, though. Could you add a G? Yeah, just at the end. McLaughlang. Like Katie Lang. Yeah, really good.

Like Katie McLaughlang. Yeah. Speaking of upcoming shows, I will be in Toronto at the Comedy Bar. Two nights. April 20... Do you want me to flip the calendar? Oh, yeah. Who's our April boy? April 27th to 28th, I believe, is when I'm going to be there

at Comedy Bar. It's Friday and Saturday. That's the one. And if you out there, if you like the show show who do we have? Oh it's Ben Hutton number 27 Ben Hutton

Ben Hutton I also would like to say thank you to everyone who donated during our Max Fun Drive yes absolutely as I'm hanging up our calendar for April

I know as you're listening you're like April's half over dipshit but you should work on the swearing yeah yeah it's kind of mean.

He's trying his best here. Thanks to the Sedins for so many great seasons. For giving their all to the city. Yeah. And you know what? Speaking of giving it all, let me give out our Twitter handle.

At Stop Podcasting. And if you like the show, tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting. And if you like the show, you know what? Tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.