Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 527 - Pat Kelly

Episode Date: April 23, 2018

This is That's Pat Kelly returns to talk about true crime, hockey twins, and concert etiquette.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 527 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who they call the Lord of the Dark Web, Mr. Dave Shoka. Yeah, I'm Lodawa. Lodawi?

Lodawa. Almost had it. Yeah, but it's the speed that was the most impressive. Yeah, Lodawa here just giving you the heads up, the 411 on the dark web. This week in dark web news. There we go. Bitcoin was replaced with shitcoin. Shitcoin.

Sorry. And our guest today, he is one half of the radio duo This Is That, and a very funny comedian indeed, Mr. Pat Kelly is our guest. Gentlemen. Hello. How are you? Hi. No one can see what I just did, but do you know people that do that? Like when they say hello, they close their eyes?

I know people who talk. Gentlemen, thank you very much. Who do all their talking close their eyes. I know people who talk. Gentlemen, thank you. Who do all their talking with their eyes closed. Yeah. Yeah. I know some people that, yeah, they don't like looking. Like they're, or they're like, yes, I am humbled and flattered that you introduced me. That's what I did.

So at one time I talked to somebody who I think was just a general nerves and they had, I don't know if they knew they had their eyes closed the whole time. They must know. I wonder. But I was like, am I supposed to not? Like they were having a panic attack while saying hello to you? Were they a fan? Were they meeting you?

I don't remember. I just remember meeting this person and talking to them and them being very nervous in their speech, but also their eyes were closed. And their memory of this time is black. But see, it's also with you, somebody does both eyes closed, you're concerned. You take sort of comfort in, you're concerned about them. Yeah, yeah. One eye closed, you're creeped out. Yeah.

Or maybe they just ate a grapefruit and got squirted by it. Or maybe they're inviting me into some sort of plan, like a hike. Hello, gentlemen. Just one eye closed for a long time? Like a long blink? Like just never opens. Then I assume that you've got something wrong with that eye.

But then they switch halfway through. Five minutes in, they switch. Then I assume there's something wrong with their brain yeah yeah um should we get to know us yeah get to know us pat yes what it is bro yeah what's up um what's going on you're working on uh you're working on a bunch of stuff yes Yes. Pat and I work together. This is Pat from work. Yes. David and I are working together on something that, when is this going to be?

This will be the 23rd of April. So in about a week's time from this, we'll be launching on May 1st, a brand new long form serialized fake true crime podcast fake true crime podcast based on this wave of true crime podcast yes it's called this sounds serious the case of daniel bronstadt and peter oldring who is in this is that yeah also plays a very prominent roles, plural. Oh, you did your long wink. And then I switched to the other eye. And it's, we're, I don't know, we're, I mean, Dave can speak to this too, but I'm pretty excited by it. I'm excited by it too. I guess I'm excited too.

Yeah. We've been, we traveled to LA to record people. We've been writing it to our typewriters. And I should say this, if he's going to be modest is that david is doing some incredible writing and the bulk of it i believe that i'm doing i'm writing for bulk not tone yes um but that in and of itself is uh pretty impressive yeah i would have quit like months ago um but the you know, the whole goal of it was to create a story, not just sort of make fun of true crime and, you know, parody the whole true crime. And I think that's what we're doing.

Yeah, we are like. Making a story. As we go through it, we're like, oh, like we're surprising ourselves. Oh, this was a fun twist. Did we set that up on purpose? I think we talked about setting it up maybe Yeah You know making up a story of murder

Is kind of It's hard and fun and funny though Did you work backwards? That's what everybody always says We did work backwards Well we started at the beginning And then we went to the back And then we did the middle

You know Graham If you think of a story like a sandwich Okay I don't I think of it more like a burrito okay well that what does it work too no that's like the beginning and the it all gets mixed together yeah yeah yeah that's what i wrapped up yeah in a final episode where all is revealed so the tortilla is the final episode yeah yeah yeah but that's also where you start yeah and then what is the like guacamole and sour cream? Guacamole is extra.

Yeah. Guacamole is the denouement. Or the DVD extra. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess sour cream is maybe the denouement.

Has anything replaced DVD extras? Blu-ray. But no, no. But like. Like. Now that no one buys DVDs. The supplementary. Do we need to do this anymore?

No. Is that itch that some might have to go, I want the director's commentary on this. They would buy the Blu-ray. And that's still. You can't get that on iTunes through a second channel. I don't think so. You know what they should do? I could be wrong. Is anybody listening to this right now?

No, no, no. Okay, so the three of us, this is a good idea. Yeah. We should start a podcast that is the DVD extra. Like, you know those guys that go to the baseball game and listen to the radio show while they're watching the baseball game? We'll create a podcast. I think that sort of does exist.

So you can watch a movie while listening to a podcast. I think that does exist. Yeah, that exists. How? Through the power of media. How? But a podcast that they say, okay, press play now. Yeah, I think.

Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. I shouldn't have said press play yet. Okay, I'm not ready. Has somebody invented going to the baseball game while listening to the radio broadcast? Podcast? A podcast of the baseball game? Yeah, it was Tommy Lasorda. We should start recording baseball games

before they happen. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So we record... What we think is going to happen. Record the East Coast games. No, just what we think is going to happen, and it's not going to sync up at all,

but it would be hugely entertaining. Yeah, yeah. This is a good brainstorm happen. And it's not going to sync up at all, but it would be hugely entertaining. Yeah, yeah. This is a good brainstorm session. You're sitting watching a podcast. You're watching a baseball game. It's totally wrong. You're listening to the wrong. It's the bottom of the fourth.

And in the podcast, he's talking about how it's the bottom of the ninth. Yes. Because the podcast is only an hour long. Yes. And the Red Sox are playing the Oakland J-Bays. The Oakland Jelly Bellies. Yes. Yeah.

But. Do you listen to the True Crime Podcast? I actually do. I kind of got tired of them. I would say I listen to a lot. What are your top 50? Because I haven't, I watched

Making a Murderer when that came out. I haven't listened to, because I don't, I'm not super into hearing a lot about somebody's murder.

Yeah. No, me neither. Yeah. I think it's the, It's gotta be the right, like, honestly, having female hosts helps a lot. Because quite often, like, if you were just hearing a man talking about people getting creamed.

Yeah. But there's quite a... To use mob speak. Getting creamed, like so many genes. But there's a huge community of people who cannot get enough of them. No, I know. I just want to listen to them all the time. And, and a lot of them that I like, you know, you'd see them ranking or whatever in the charts.

And so you're like, oh, this must be popular and good. It's telling me a crazy cool story. And then you go on it and it's like someone literally just reading like the Wikipedia about like John Wayne Gacy. And you're like, this is like. I'm not going to read it myself. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. Yeah.

That's actually not a bad idea for a podcast. Just read Wikipedia's. Yeah. I read Wikipedia's. Yeah. Oh, they just updated the Shaquille O'Neal Wikipedia. Well, we got to start again. Updated the Shaquille O'Neal Wikipedia.

Well, we got to start again. But like, I've read lots of true crime books and stuff. I guess. True crime reading never did it for me. But a podcast would be like, hey, okay. Which was the one that I recently liked the most? I think it was the Dirty John. Because it was just sort of an interesting character.

Yeah, it was a story about this guy who... Con man, basically. Yeah, who married a lady and her whole family didn't trust him. Oh, is this the... Like, I remember hearing kind of a story, but like this. Did he take her for everything? No. He was pretending to be a doctor yeah and like he would just always be wearing scrubs everywhere you went and people were like i

don't think doctors really do that but this woman was like i'll buy it you get up in the morning and like leave the house in his scrubs and be like off to work in your mazda miata that i'm like making you pay for well i've got my scrubs on yeah i put them on at home save time at the hospital put on my name tag here i'll wash i'll wash up here so i don't have to do it before a surgery like you know the leonardo dicaprio catch me if i can like that guy was super impressive because it was like you learn how to fly a plane and cut over this guy just literally took it as far as scrubs. Yeah. A getaway. But I like, like. I like the idea. The lazy God.

Of them wearing, if doctors had to wear name tags with their scrubs. Yeah. And like, also, you know how in movie theaters they have to say their favorite movie. Yeah, favorite organ. Favorite organ. This is, this is my question then for you. What? So if you were to pull.

Here's the kick. Not a murderer. Not a murderer, you're not pulling off a murder. Yeah. But you have to pull off one of those kind of cons, pretending. What do you think is the easiest thing to pull off? To pretend to, like a job to pretend to be? Yeah. Oh, I see. Something you, a vocation, obviously it would make sense to be a high earning profession

because that's why you'd be doing it. Well, I have to do it every week when I get quantum leaped into a new body. But he was, he had a lot of degrees and he had D's that got those degrees. And he was typically going back into time. Yeah. So he was infinitely smarter than everybody because he was like, I know who wins the World Series. That's true. That's all it takes to be smart he should have done you're gonna come across very yes he should have invented podcasts people would have been like what is that in your ears

but there's like uh there's also in this time travel scenario where he why didn't he bet on any i guess he only stayed for as long as he needed to. Well, and he wouldn't collect the bet. He wouldn't be able to collect the bet. Right. But wouldn't you like make a lot of money and bury it somewhere in the hopes that when you jump back into your time. But he never knows when this leap is going to take him home. That's true.

And he also never knew where he was leaping to. Yeah. That's true. And he also never knew where he was leaping to. Yeah. Cause it was that as a, as a, as a young man, uh,

watching that show. I loved that, that at the end, how every episode ended. And it was just like, Oh no, here we go again. 1950s.

So what, I'm a soda shop owner. What vocation would I, could you con, conceivably become a con artist in? I think, um, like,

and want to like comfortably be able to go, you know, I can just fake this. If I could be like a year, I think you could successfully fake being Bob Dylan for a year. Oh, you sure? That's a good, that's. But you already have the foundational.

You can play guitar. But also like, can he play guitar? Like, and can he, he can't sing. And at this point, does he have to, he could just sort of say, I'm sitting this one out boys. Yeah. Yeah. Let the band.

Give me something slow. Yeah. That I can mumble to. We're doing, we're doing all, you know, funky. Yeah. it in this one out boys yeah yeah let the band give me something slow yeah this is that i can mumble to yeah we're doing we're doing all you know funky cold medina i guess so you could call bob dylan uh be a bob dylan i could gone the world the world oh yeah i'd, I wasn't thinking that big. I was thinking, what do I look? Looks wise, what can I? I want to be Bob Dylan. What is that? Everybody want to pass this game?

Oh, I. Those are two different verses from the same song. Mr. Jones wishes he was something just a little more funky. Could not pass as. Adam Durant? Yeah. I don't know. Something in the music industry, I feel like.

I feel like... Like an executive? No, like a producer. Like, I think I could really snow a lot of people and say, like, I'm a producer. Give me, you know, just make more demos for me. Yeah, and like, I would have a place that had what looks like all the stuff that I would have rented from a Long and McQuaid or whatever, and then I would just sit in the booth and not record anything.

Anything in the creative field, though, I think is easy because you could pawn it off on just this is my artistic choice. I just thought it would know, it'd be easy to become a film director. Cause you could just kind of say, we're like, we're pausing production for three weeks. I have to think about this. Right.

And go to Hawaii. One time I was on a film set and I ate the director's breakfast because they thought I was the director. See, you're halfway there. That's true. So in that moment, in that moment. Yeah, some guy. Some young guy. Some's true. So in that moment, in that moment. Yeah, some guy.

Some young guy. Some young guy. But in that moment, you could have decided to take over. Yeah. Like that could have been the moment. Well, I mean, that was, that was my, that was mostly what it was, was just like. Starts with breakfast. I just wanted that breakfast.

Why was that breakfast better? It was, oh, it was specially made for him. It was carnation instant breakfast. Why was that breakfast better? It was specially made for him. It was carnation instant breakfast. It was made to his direction. What was the follow up? What happened afterwards? Oh, I'm sure the catering truck got in huge trouble, but they didn't. I walked away. You were a PA or something? Yeah, yeah. And I showed up and they said, are you the director?

And I didn't say anything. And they said, because we've only got one breakfast left and it's the director's. And I was like, yeah, I'm the director. No, you didn't. Yeah. You said you were the director. Yeah, yeah. You see, that's your halfway there.

Yeah. Yeah. I only wanted it for the snack, though. I didn't want to actually get in there and direct. Just for the snack, not the whole breakfast't want to actually get in there and direct. Just for the snack, not the whole breakfast. I just wanted the yogurt cup, but I threw everything else

in the garbage. What would you, what do you think? Well, I was thinking, you know, could you be a lawyer? No. That's too,

you know, I'd fall apart at a trial. I think that's the one place I'd do well was at the trial. I think I would be like, don't go to trial. That would be my, every't go to trial Make a deal

We gotta make a deal You'd instantly be a criminal lawyer Although if you've ever dealt with contracts Or any legal documents It's you Like their language in them is so And lawyers can speak it In such a calm way

That they understand They know what's being said. Yeah. But I also feel like the day of the trial. What about like a fashion designer? A fashion designer? I feel like you need to know a lot more to communicate to people being a fashion designer. Cutting and sewing and like we need to nip that shoulder.

Yeah, I think that expression right there would blow the lid off your cover. Can we tug the crotch uh seam and can we nip that shoulder nip the shoulder crotch this tighten the crotch the crotch the seam and let's add a pop of color to the boost is this crazy two crotches but it may not be crazy they might don't cross the seams guys that's why that's what i always say so you think you could just go in and fashion design i guess you'd just be like a coat two sleeves yeah a collar i don't do the drawings yeah exactly i don't do the drawings anymore i do i don't do any of the cutting or sewing but like that isn't that what like and then i'd go to the gap and buy a bunch

of shirts and cut the tag out and go maybe like cut a hole yeah yeah cut the pocket but isn't that like what i don't know who has these lines but like victoria beckham or jessica simpson or whoever yeah that's a fashion line exactly they're just like uh i don't know beige i feel like that's beige i could be one of them. A British woman. Ex-pop star. Ex-pop star woman. That'd be the easiest thing. The least talented but most successful Spice Girl.

Is she the least talented? Who's less talented than Posh? She didn't even sing. Yeah, but you know, just being in the gang and somehow getting to that level without knowing how to sing. Do we have another gang like that coming? Like, why haven't we had a female gang?

What about Fifth Harmony? I don't even know who that is. Well, that's who it is, man. Where are they from? America. They're from America. This is now. This is happening now.

Who are the big, who are they? They're a group of women singers. Is there diversity in this group as well of activities and life interests? Yeah, there's the golfer. Yeah, there's the golfer. There's the violinist. There's the horse rider. There's the shooter.

There's the lawyer. There's the one in scrubs. They're all con men. They've all conned their way into this band. But they lost a member. In a true crime podcast? I think we found our next story. They lost a member, tragically.

She survived. There was no accident. Like they actually just lost her? Yeah. In the mall. Yeah. She's in Minneapolis. Is this true?

They didn't, no, a member left. So, but their name is five plus one or whatever? Five minus one. Five minus one. So they're just called four now.

Never put the number of the members in the group. Never. This never worked out. Three blind tigers? Yeah. Three blind. No, three blind tigers yeah three blind no no three doors down

three doors down three doors down had multiple members exactly didn't work out they probably had more than two one direction

the B-tools the B-tools yeah the B-tools what if three doors down was a band and they're all like

where each of us is a different kind of door I'm from the band the doors I'm a band and they're all like each of us is a different kind of door I'm from the band the doors I'm a standard house door what's another door

I guess I'm a door garage door oh yeah um five five five times lucky

yeah what was their hit well B4-4 B4-4 what was five times lucky's hit though is that a real thing no no oh five times lucky was like their hit? Well, B4-4. B4-4. What was five times Lucky's hit, though? Is that a real thing? No, no. Oh, five times Lucky was like

their hit was... You're not really a yes and guy. You're more of a, was that real? Oh, no. Then yes and. Okay, it is? B4-4 was good because it was the opposite of you can't lose a member. Because they could have lost all three members and the number is still B4-4 was good because it was the opposite of, of, you know, you can't lose a member because they could have lost all three members and the number is still B4-4.

They just couldn't add anymore. Yeah. So the, this name of this group is, just so I have it correctly when I download their music tonight. Fifth Harmony. And is that because a fifth harmony is kind of a bonus? Like what is the logic logic There's five of them They do sing very nice harmonies But four harmonies

But like would you listen to something called Fourth harmony Where's Spice Girls five So the magic number for harmonies Maybe speedy, sporty, splotchy And ginger Ginger who was sexy in america and scrubs um i had her song one of her songs stuck in my head the other day jerry hollowell yeah wow uh michico

latino that was that was a time that was fine that was fine that was the time when that was fine for her to sing a song called Me Chica Latino. Yeah. It was a long time ago. Yeah, like five years ago. She could still do it. She probably still does it at concerts. That'd be weird.

Do any of them do that anymore? Sing. They're reuniting. But are any of them successful soloists still? No. Like, I mean, what's her name is her? Baby, when you're gone. Yeah. Are any of them successful soloists still? No. Like, I mean, What's Her Name is on. Baby, When You're Gone. Yeah.

And What's Her Name's on America's Got Talent. Scary didn't do anything. She did. She's on America's Got Talent. But just as a judge. Yeah, but she had a solo career. She had that song with Missy Elliott. Yeah, and she also had Eddie Murphy's Baby.

She has to know a lot about this stuff. She did a lot of stuff. I would say the one who did the least kind of solo stuff was baby. Yeah. Right. Because she was, she wasn't of age. Yeah.

Because she was, they called her baby. Not because she was cute, but because she was arrested development. Yeah. She had the brain of a one-year-old. Oh boy Okay so but Five

Five people The name of the group is called Five People You want to Five women Five women They Why did we get on this Because i was asking you if you understand the name fifth harmony no but it was i wanted to know about you were saying is there a new

yeah verse yes okay so now but there were i feel like there were sleep so many back then yeah and well i mean like i was always more of an all saints guy. There's probably a ton of them now, but we don't, we have no idea. Because it would be inappropriate for us to know that. That's true. And, you know, like at Christmas as a gag, my mom will buy like Teen Beat magazine and put it in all of our stocking. And so then that's when I like read up and I go, who are these people? Yeah. And there's like people who are super famous to teenagers.

How many names would you get in my magazine? I would get like the top, like the most, most famous ones, like Taylor Swift. And, but it would be like the, the older ones that are like Taylor Swift's having a baby.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like any of the younger. So, so what I'm going to do is, uh, what I find anytime I look up who's got a birthday on a day,

I, Oh, there's always somebody that's true. Who's like, Oh, well, cause I looked up. Yeah.

Like all the, cause, and this website, famous birthdays ranks the people by how famous they are. So for April 23rd, the day this podcast comes out, number one most famous birthday. By the way. Happy birthday. It's time for my favorite segment on the show.

Celebrity birthdays. John Cena. Okay. How old John Cena do you think? I'd say he's... This is a wrestler. Yeah. Yeah, I'd say he's 39.

40. He just turned 40. Okay. Yeah, I'd say he's 39. 40. He's turned 40. Okay. Now the second... Looks great. Looks great. Do you know the second most famous person? Gigi Hadid?

Yes. No. Fashion model. Yeah. Oh, I did some of her clothes. I nipped her shoulder. She's got that... I nipped her crotch.

Yeah. She wore one of my My boot juices Boot juices Boot juices Yeah go on Do you know the third Most famous person William Shakespeare

Is he really the third one Yeah How old would he be today He would be Just under 500 Okay Good happy birthday Bill Yeah

Alright but Maybe about Really Maybe about Really Maybe about 454 Okay Which is the name Of my boy band

Because there's 454 of us We're all Korean 454 people Then George Lopez Okay The first person I don't know

Is a woman named Chrissy Daniel Don't know her No Noah Kitty's mama He turned 17. That's who the first person was that you said? No, that's the...

That's the next person. Well, the next person is Shirley Temple. And then Noah Kitty's mama. Noah Kitty's mama. And he is number seven. He is more famous than Dev Patel wait i know who dev patel is yeah he's more famous than valerie burton ellie according to this website wow that's crazy this website they rank who's more famous like happy birthday to all these people we thought we'd put

them in order yeah yeah like who you should care about that's got to be the order i mean john cena for sure should be number one over William Shakespeare. Think, how many Shakespeare plays have you seen versus how many times have you seen John Cena wrestle, right? Right. I mean, that's just simple. And I was in the National John Cena Company. Yeah, through

wrestling school. But John Cena does speak in iambic pentameter. It's one of the most charming things about him. Yeah, that's what made him stand out as a wrestler. You've got to have your thing, right? He was the smart man's wrestler. They always told us that.

Every Shakespeare thing was written in iambic pentameter. Da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da. But a lot of it, but then you read it and you're like, no, it isn't. But because you're not reading it right. Right, exactly. Oh, I see. You have to read it. I'm definitely reading it. To be or not to it right. Right, exactly. Oh, I see. You have to read it. I'm definitely reading it.

To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether it's nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of a raging fire. How much would you pay to see me do that for four hours? For four hours. An evening with Pat Kelly. Pat Kelly's Hamlet. Hamlet. Na-na-na-na-na.

Oh my God. Leaning into every action. I really own juicy. Did you do Shakespeare? Never. No? Never. I, no.

Because you were a theater kid? I was, but you know what? I purposely dodged it How come Because I just knew That I didn't want to do that And it was so hard Yeah

It was too hard To remember all those things And You had to figure out The meaning behind It's like another language All the text Yeah

But isn't that What is this All actors want to But I don't think they do But like why I didn't Wouldn't it Just be like Why not just learn Japanese and learn how to act in Japanese?

That would be awesome. That would be awesome if an actor, if you got to a certain status and you were like, I'm just going to do roles in Japanese from now on. You can subtitle them. You can dub them over. Whatever you want. I'm going to lose 30 pounds, but gain 30 pounds of Japanese. Yeah. Do you have any interest whatsoever in going to see it, to watch?

Oh, Shakespeare? Yeah. No. I would go. I would go to Shakespeare. No. Unless they did it in like a modern setting. On a beach.

They should do one about Trump. And he could be. But they did that, didn't they? Caused quite a stir. Yeah, it was... It was like Hamlet in business suits or something, I don't know. Or Julius Caesar. Julius Caesar in business suits.

But then Caesar gets killed at the end. I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. Pretty good. For two guys who don't like Shakespeare, you know a lot of Shakespeare. But yeah, no, I haven't been to it in a long time either. What did you, do you go, do you go to the theater? No. No?

No. But you're from the theater. I'm not from the theater. The theater comes from us. No one can be from the theater. The theater is inside you. You could be a good

con man acting teacher. Oh, 100%. Yeah. 100%. That's what I'm going to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to become the head of acting

at Juilliard. Starting. Day one one, lesson one. Yes. Welcome. The first. Everyone on their feet. Let's get everyone on their feet. If you don't have the courage, there is the door.

I am known to be your teacher. I mean, professor. I mean. The first six months of all acting class, I think, is like giving each other back rubs. Dress falls. And like mouth warm ups. Yeah. The tip of the tip.

And when, you know, I think you have to ask a lot of questions. If I was to teach Shakespeare. What is? You talk. What is it? You, you, you know, I think you have to ask a lot of questions. If I was to teach Shakespeare. What is? You talk, what is it? You, you, you and the beard. Up here now. You, the director. Are you the director?

You're the director? Here's your breakfast. Delicious. Read this entire script for us, the class, and tell us what it's about. And then I don't have to do it. Nice. Graham and I once thought we could, we were like,

in terms of conning your way into something, we thought like, if we just became musical comedians, we'd be at Just for Laughs in a month. Yeah, we'd be the most popular act in Canada. And we wrote one song. Can I hear it? We got invited to an orgy.

We got invited to an O-R-G-Y. We got invited to an orgy. got invited to an o-r-g-y we got invited to an orgy but nobody else showed up and you'd have about 50 of those songs yeah yeah yeah have a little fun banter in between one of us has a guitar one of us doesn't yeah can you we had uh on this is that we did a, like a profile on a fake sort of Canadian comedy duo too. And we had a one that was, well, the puck truck stuck. And it was a song about if the puck truck stuck, then there is no Stanley Cup. But if there is no Stanley Cup, because the puck truck got stuck. Telling the story of how the truck that delivers the box it got stuck and then other

genius such as this is gonna not resonate at all with your american listeners but the ndp an ndpp in my pants yeah they were called uh what did we call them? Utnabut. Utnabut. And yeah, it's similar. But so how do we make this dream happen for you guys? Oh, you can take Puck Truck Stuck if you want.

Oh, okay. I was like, what dream for you to become the acting teacher? No, for you guys to go to Just for Laughs and be the new hit comedy musical duo. Oh, yeah. Well, I think we needed a second song on Puck Truck Stucks. Yeah. There's also the vein of kind of Jack Black's thing. Tenacious D, like you do kind of a metal.

Right. But on an acoustic guitar. Yeah, of course. I mean, they're very good singers and musicians though so i mean our the whole our whole thing was this was at a time when it was like every every musical comedy duo was like getting laughs like that they didn't deserve the uh what i do like about uh we got invited to Orgy, is that what we call this song? Yeah. Is the ending is perfectly, the punchline is just sort of like, but it didn't happen. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Well, I mean, the implication is then we just had to fuck each other. Yeah. Well, that's the, you leave that to the audience. Well, that's why it is. That's the, yeah. You leave the audience to figure it out. And so then they're laughing on the ride home going, I just got it.

Or it's sort of like, maybe they do figure, it's sort of like the Sopranos ending home going, I just got it. Or it's sort of like maybe they do figure, it's sort of like the Sopranos ending. Like it just goes black. Yeah. Did you try that on our debut album? No, that was the only rule. It was like no goofy songs. No silly songs.

Right, right. But there was a, when I was a kid, I remember watching a Canadian comedy duo that they did music and they also did like jokes back and forth. They were called Malton and Hamilton. And man oh man, they were so racist.

They were so racist and their big closer was them playing the William Tell Overture on Bicycle Pumps. Do you remember that? Yes I do. What's the William Tell Overture on bicycle pumps? Ah, yes. Do you remember that? Yes, I do. What's the William Tell Overture? And it was just the shh, shh, shh. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait, what's the 1812 Overture? Oh, maybe that's the 1812 Overture. Anyways, one of the two, but they played it on like holding the spout and like making it squeak. Did this, was this cultural phenomenon, is it Canadian? The bicycle bumps? No, like you know, the goofball duo.

No, they have them in this, they definitely have them in Britain. Yeah, but the period of time in which they, I think they were really popular in the 70s. Like was the Aspen Comedy Festival full of musical duos for a couple years? I think so.

Whenever the Flight of the Conchords came about, or Tenacious D, I feel like there was a ripple effect. Right. There was a lot of people who were like, why not us? Were those two, do you think, rank as the coolest? Yeah. Oh, boy. I mean, I guess, yeah as the coolest? Yeah. Oh, boy. I mean, I guess, yeah, Weird Al not included. Well, he's not a duo.

League of their own. Yeah, that's true. But, like, the Barenaked Ladies, the only thing separating them from being one of those is three other guys. Yeah, that's true. If you put someone behind a drum kit, you're not a goofball duo anymore. Yeah, maybe that is. Maybe that's the defining element if you actually have to like move drums around then you're not playing comedy clubs anymore like

you have to play on a musical stage rather than a suitcase and some brushes yeah yes yes or just a bucket you know bucket drummer you guys both play drums or props prop prop you play drums well very very very very simply yeah same here but but you have in your youth yes did you did you ever own brushes no i never had any stuff oh i only just drummed at friends who had drums oh i had a brush that came with the set oh You put in your afro. So you had a drum set. Yeah. Was this like one of those little kid ones or like a teenage bought drum set?

It was a drum set that belonged to a guy who, he was like a jazz musician. He passed away. His wife had a house full of instruments. Full of jazz. Full of jazz. Full of jazz and memories. And so she was just kind of offloading all of this stuff. Yeah, because it's the things you don't own. It's the possessions you don't keep.

And so it was like a 60s style. Oh, those are the best. Yeah, like kind of a classic. You don't have it anymore. It's still at my parents' house. Let's go! They remind me every time I come over. Like, what are you going to classic. You don't have it anymore. It's still at my parents' house. Let's go! And they remind me every time I come over. What are you going to do with these drums?

Yeah, yeah. How about you take these drums? And I'm like, you have to have a basement or a garage. Yeah, every time you go home, you should bring one back on carry-on. I'm going to bring the snare. Yeah, and just turn it into a little suitcase. Yeah. Put a little rope on it. Put stuff in it.

But see, that would be fun to be able to play drums just willy nilly. Of course. You know? It'd be amazing. I mean, there's, when I like walk around, I feel like when I walk around the commercial drive area, I hear people playing drums in some house. Practicing drums. Yeah, yeah.

There's some in this neighborhood too. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, how? And your brain goes, how's that different that i mean am i sure that's live am i sure that's like a real band practicing and not just a bad recording of events you don't hear a lot of bands practicing anymore though just in general i wonder right yeah yeah i mean where where where though where

would you go i I don't know. You have to go out to the industrial area. Yeah. Or, you know, outside of our own city, I guess in many cities, like suburbs and garages and. Yeah. I mean. But the real music comes from the streets. Yeah.

Yeah. It's true. It's true. I mean, in Shakespeare was sort of speaking the language of the streets. The time. Because he was the original rapper. It's like a jungle sometimes. I wonder how he's trying to pull me under.

What voice was that at the end? Swedish. Swedish is in I Am McPentender. Yeah, that's true. They all speak in I Am McPentender. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, speakingvac. Yeah, that's true. They all speak in iAvac. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, speaking of Swedish, I went to a couple of hockey games. Oh, right. And witnessed a couple of Swedish brothers.

The Sedin twins, long time Vancouver Canucks. 18 years, 17 years on the squad. And their whole career? They played their whole career. They were drafted second and years on the squad. That's a, and like their whole career? They played their whole career. They were drafted second and third in the draft and played basically every game side by side. Wow. For 18 years.

And so they announced on a, I think on a Monday that they were going to retire. And then they played out the rest of the week. The last home game was on the thursday so there was only like three days notice and it's kind of like i guess in their head they're already done but it's weird to have your last thing like what if it's like just a shitty game and when you're not like old and like i'm gonna do this last thing and then probably a week later die yeah yeah like you're you're for sure not like 65 retiring from your job right but you're retiring

from like the thing that you've done your whole life yeah yeah it's a weird the other option is that you give everyone a year's notice and you like do a lap of the whole league i mean if you're wayne gretzky you do that yeah i mean yeah i mean i guess those are or you just announce after that last game that was it well a lot of people do that that's what most people do yeah they're like i'm done that that to me seems like the more like because what if that last game is just really brutal? You know, then you're like, no, okay, we'll come back. Another one, yeah, we'll do at least one more game. Well, because Jaromir Jagr played, he played this season a few games in the NHL at age 44 or something.

Wow. And, but he, but like, they just released him in the middle of the season because. So is he now retired? He's out of North America. Yeah, he won't come back. But he, he, he could have done, he could have sort of like left on his own terms. Right. It was sort of a weird thing of like, he didn't retire last off season and then he, no one wanted him. And then the Flames got some injuries.

So they. But is he like a guy who did not have money or something? Or is he just like a guy who's like, this is what I do. Just won't stop. Yeah. I think he was more just. And he still could do it too. He was so slow by the end.

Sure. There was footage of him like, I can't go any further. And he would push one of his teammates. You go faster. Scoot them along. But, like, that's an amazing age to, like, is he the guy, like, the oldest? I mean, I know Cordy Hauer. But, yeah, the oldest by quite a long, like, he's, well, he was 44.

I don't think there were any other 40 year olds even And he's like yeah he's playing against mostly 20 year olds Jesus That's amazing It's like those old wrestlers too that would just be like Well I guess I'm just wrestling For my whole life like I'm just gonna be A 60 year old

And like show up and do the moves That I know I can still do But in wrestling it feels like they do that more for money, right? For the most part. Like they have to keep going. Yeah. Although. And also like.

Yeah. I mean, you're just trying to make it believable. Right. Like, and you want a good story. Like with hockey or other competitive sports, you have to be good enough to win. Yeah, that's right. But he was one of the good enough to win. Yeah, that's right. But he was one of the best in the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, for years. And then, but like, so he'll just go to another league. And he was good enough that he could go that long. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's incredible. But he also moved around to so many teams that it's not like one team is going to give him the big celebration. Yeah. The big goodbye.

Right. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's true. You got to know when. Got to know when to leave that one. Yeah. Sedins.

They were company men. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I went to the game on Tuesday. I had tickets for that before I knew that they were retiring. So I went and that was really good. Did people cry? No one cried that night I don't think. But every time they got the puck everyone cheered and there was a buzz in the building. They didn't do a cry cam instead of a kiss cam.

Cry for us. And there was a 14 year old kid next to me who swore up and down the whole game. He was like a hockey expert and everyone was a shithead. He had like three friends with him and he came back from the first intermission with two pizzas on his lap. Nice. Big power move. And so they were all like distributing pizza the entire second period. But he just, there's nowhere to put two pizzas, I guess.

I guess he was afraid to, he'd step on them. And don't they charge by the slice at the game too? I don't know what, two pizzas would be. Two pizzas would be like $400. It's true. Like that's, it's a crazy amount of food to buy the most expensive place yeah that's like going and trying to buy a keg of beer at the stadium yeah it would cost you five thousand dollars if you're like i'm throwing a keg i know where they're going yeah i feel like having a keg party i know what

we'll do we'll go to an expensive sporting event and we'll get one there. We'll use their keg. We'll use their keg and pay by the glass. I was, uh, I was talking. Line up. I was talking to a guy last night, last night at the Max Fund meetup. Yeah. Uh, there was a gentleman there who works for an animation company and he said the animation company has an office in LA, one in New York and one in Vancouver.

And they have a keg that was just like, you just can have free beer. And after like six months, they had to institute a paying policy only in the Canadian office because they were like, uh, you guys are really. The free kegs gone after an afternoon. A lot of the, you're really taking advantage of the free beer situation. How many is what is a keg? Come on, let's be honest here.

What is a keg? Like how like how much what is a volume? What are the V's? Oh, what is the capacity? How many glasses of beer?

Pints? Cups? I want to say like How many beers do you want me to Google it? I want to say 200 beers

in one keg. In one keg. Can I guess two? Yeah, yeah. You may also guess. I just want to say 200 beers. In one keg. In one keg. Can I guess too? Yeah, yeah, you may also guess. I just want to say happy celebrity birthday to Agent 00, who's 21 today. I'm going to say... 200 is pretty good. I'm going to say 175.

You're doing the real price right. Yeah, okay. One. There's one beer in a keg. Theoretically, it is. Yeah. One keg equals two pony kegs. Oh, there you go.

Oh, yeah, perfect. Okay, now we're moving on. It equals 31 growlers, 124 pints. Okay. Or 165 cans. Oh, I was, yeah, I was thinking. Uh, or 165 cans. Oh, I was, yeah,

I was thinking. A can or a pint? No, I was thinking red solo cup. But isn't a pint different in America and Canada and the UK? I don't know. I don't know. It's hard to say.

Almost impossible. It's like how some places they spell ton with two N's and an E and you're like, well, what's that? Uh, well, what's that? I like to spell it T-O-N-N in brackets. E just in case that's the way you spell it. To respect your culture. I spell it tone.

Oh, you like that funky gold Medina? Yeah. Look at that two-tone truck. How many tones do you think that truck could... So after that game, my sister invited me to, she had tickets to the last game. So she invited me along for that. I didn't know it was going to be their last game when she invited me. And so it turned out to be a real event.

Did people cry at that? Yeah. Yeah. And like we got there and they played like an opening video and then the. Another turning point. The team comes out, does a skate. The spotlight is on the twins the whole time. And I was like, what happened?

What, what happens if I cry? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What, what. Nothing Dave. Water just comes out of your eyes and doesn't make you less of a man okay well dave water crying is a perfectly normal human emotion and uh it was great and they scored uh they combined for two goals oh that's what you want to do on your last yeah including the

game winner in overtime there it is yeah and they were numbered 22 and 33 and like the the first goal was scored 33 seconds into the second period by number 22 from number 23 and 33 for his 22nd goal of the season it was like some real satisfying numbers yeah yeah yeah and the overtime real math nerd was similar. Real math nerd orgasm. And yeah, and then they came out at the very end and waved and they were the first and second star of the game. Oh, so it was a pretty sweet. Oh yeah, it was great. And yeah, so I, but I didn't end up crying just because it was so like not like I couldn't, I didn't have the emotional stamina. Cause every time they got the puck, people were

standing, like they got a standing ovation every time they got the puck. Wow. Wow. And so it was just like standing up and sitting down. I, uh, no more tears. Yeah.

Well, that's where stand up, sit down, fight, fight, fight. Yeah. Okay. Okay. It's too much for the old, uh, uh emotion so are you suggesting you are too annoyed to cry with all the standing and sitting i mean that's an easy i remind this guy not to come to my funeral do you think there will be a lot of standing at your funeral yes i don't know

traditional catholic catholic don't they stand and sit a lot? They do. Yeah. Well, they do musical chairs. I'm going to say, although he was, I'm going to have the person say, although he wasn't a religious man, he'd like to stand and sit a lot during his funeral. He wants you to be able to stretch. Yeah.

He's a big fan of stretching. Everybody stand, please. Yeah. Now sit. Now sit halfway. Halfway. Shoulders, knees and toes Knees and toes And Dave Shumka

Better be crying Better Yeah I would cry at your funeral Well I'm the kind of guy Who laughs at a funeral Where What's that smog song

I was just about to say it Dress sexy at my funeral Dress Oh yeah People don't Usually Pretty frumpy affairs in general. Yeah.

You know, they're not a joyous. No, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't mean you can't. Shirtless. I want mine to be shirtless. Yeah. Yeah. Can't look sharp.

I want mine to be in mud. Oh yeah. I want a wet t-shirt funeral. So that's me. I went to two unforgettable uh, unforgettable hockey games. Would they, do you guys, are you realistic at all? Uh-huh. No.

I'm insane. No. Yeah. Yeah. What's the scale? You're a claymation to me right now. Would these two gentlemen who are twins, who just retired from playing professional hockey, who have chosen to live in Vancouver for the rest of their days.

What do you think the likelihood of ever getting them on this podcast? Huh? Now they're not on road trips. It's a weird, it's a, like, it's a weird thing because they played here for 18 years. I don't know anything about them.

That's why you should get them on the show. Yeah, I also think that they would be charmed by the fact that I don't know anything about them. Yes. But like I know like I know hockey stuff about them. No, but I don't. I know what they look like. Yes. I know what one of them looks like. Yeah, that's true. What a perfect way for

them to enter this new phase of their life to talk to somebody who has no context for who they are. Yeah. Somebody who doesn't know anything about them either. Let's make it happen. Yeah. Under the guys send it to their people and say we don't know who these guys are. Yeah. Somebody who doesn't know anything about them either. Let's make it happen. Yeah. Under the guys, like send it to their people and say, we don't know

who these guys are. Yeah, but we understand. We want to welcome them to the city. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, as, as civilians. Yes. Yeah. And see if they want to become comedians. Or a musical comedy duo.

Oh, that, I mean. Buck truck snuck. You want to manage them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I'd have to get some kind of like a cowboy hat or something to be a manager of a comedy duo.

No, you're the producer. You already know how to do this. You're the producer. I'm the fake producer. Oh, one other thing at the hockey game is Dave's just tied his hair up. You do a crazy troll like kind of. I haven't tied anything. I just pointed it out.

At the end of the game, who's the boy with the rocket boots? Astro Boy. Jonathan Boy. Wasn't there a Johnny something? Jimmy Nuclear? Atomic John.

Dirty John. At the end of the game, sometimes Oh. Atomic John. Yeah, Atomic John. Dirty John. Yeah. Hair like that. At the end of the game, sometimes, like, there's a few different exits you can go out. I always go out the same exit because they always have prizes. Oh, yeah. Like, you know, a $5 off your gas card or whatever. This night, they were giving whole bags of chips away. What?

And. Like, full size? Not, like, party size, party size but the Halloween bigger than the Halloween. Like a regular bag of chips? Regular bag of chips. Wow. Lays. So they're giving salt and pepper. Salt and vinegar, sorry. They're giving plain. They're giving ketchup.

And they're giving dill pickle. And guess what? There's a whole pile of dill pickle. People were like, nah, thanks but no thanks why are you mr dill picker i'm not i'm not that's not my first but i don't hate it no but here's the thing i don't like pickles in real life what in real life how come um chip chips are fake right yeah i don't know i don't like pickles, but the chips don't bug me. I used to have pickle problems.

Pickle problems. Uh, pickle problems. Yep. Say it right. I used to have a pickle problem. You're his acting teacher. Make him say it right. Um, but, uh, I, I like them now, but it's basically, yeah, it's too, you know, on a sandwich where everything takes it over.

Even on a hamburger, it takes it over. It's like not even the texture is crispy and yet as wet as something that should be mushy. Yeah. Crispy and wet. That was the name of our comedy. Yeah. Crispy and wet. Yeah. I like pickles.

I still remember. I'm not going to apologize for it. The phase of my life when I found out pickles and cucumbers were the same thing. Same with grapes and raisins. It blew my mind. But I. Was this all during your parents giving you the talk? Yes. Also.

You're going to get a boner. And so. Speaking of boners. So your pickle will go and turn into a cucumber. I used to think it was like not just a special small cucumber that was turning into a pickle. I thought it was getting shrunk

by, a giant cucumber was getting shrunk by the pickling brine. By the juice. Yeah. And this is when your parents were like, Dave, come and sit down. Yeah. Crying is water coming out of your eyes. And we think you have a baby spice brain. Yeah, we think crying is just brine that comes from your own head.

I'm brine. Brine over you. What's up with you? What's up with you? This past week I went to see a rock and roll, shake and rock and roll band at the Commodore, the fantastic, fabulous Commodore Ballroom. Okay. It was a band I have never heard of before seeing them live. You were brung along?

I was brung along. Is this a new thing of yours? No, this is, I was going on a I was on a date and I didn't know the band. Great, you're dating? Yeah, sure. Why not? Do we know the band? Maybe? I had never heard of them before. Suspense is killing me, but

time to take a break. And we're back. The band is called Always? Oh yeah, 2Vs. 2Vs, yeah. Great. One of is called Always? Oh, yeah. Two Vs. Two Vs. Yeah, yeah. One of the Rankin family.

Female singer. Their daughter's is their singer. Oh, I wish I knew that. That would have been a cool trivia for me to be able to drop. I think that's right. Yeah, they really could, but I've never been to a concert where I didn't know anything about the band. Like, never heard any of their music. So it's amazing to watch, like...

Others who do. Yeah. You're like, is this the hit song? Yeah. It's like being dropped into an alternate reality where everybody around you is loving. Like, they're going crazy for this song. And then they're so-so on this song. And you're like, well, it's going to be a new one.

Okay. I'm able to, I noticed the archetypes here. Yes. Um, and, uh, but yeah,

it was funny. Like, yeah. When people really started jumping around, I was like, okay, this is, this is the song everybody loves.

Um, they were good, but I, I, I know this, uh, group. Yeah.

Yeah. And have listened to them. I have a feel. Here we go. This is a, uh, from a telly owner. That's a rave.

I, I have a feeling that that concert would sort of be, uh, carry one kind of tone throughout the whole, like from song to song to song. And so the songs don't vary in speed too much. No, they,

yeah, it was very like, it wasn't like, here's now, here's a real. But like, there's the one that gets, it'd be chill,

I think is what I'm trying to say. But there's no, I never go to a concert where it's like, and I thought I would when I was a kid and we went to school dances. Yeah. I thought at concerts, sometimes you'd pair off and dance, slow dance. Yeah.

I mean, there was a lot of people there that I think were also like me, because I could tell that they were also there with somebody who knew. Right. Because they didn't know when to yell out the thing at the chorus or whatever. And they didn't know what song to dance to and what song to just chill out to. But yeah, aren't most bands like that where it's just kind of the same tempo from song to song? But some bands, I think when they play live, they know that it's like we've got these five or six songs that will get everybody kind of going crazy. Right. Yeah.

I can't really, off the top of my head, from listening to their album. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what their hits are. I don't know what the cover of Delmet. We've warned you up and now for the next back half of the concert, it's crazy time. Yeah, there was no crazy time. Yeah.

It was all it was all good good mellow fun time i went uh a couple years ago to the hives oh yeah i feel like they they go crazy yeah but they're all one speed too yeah like and that speed is crazy but it's but they have ways of like interacting with the audience and like getting you to do stuff yeah there wasn't any of that there was no like how's everybody doing tonight no right no they were like like make a path for me to walk through right but then like speaking of paths to walk okay this is a yeah and graham we'll get back to you just a sidebar on the the commodore the last concert i was there you're gonna keep this really

quick but the show starts my wife and i walk up, you know, when at concerts, like it starts, you can kind of make your way through if you want to get closer to the stage. We did that and got up and then there was room for more people where we, where we arrived. Song is playing, song is playing this, this young guy taps me on the shoulder and he goes, is this your thing? I'm like, excuse me? He goes, is this your thing? You wait till, excuse me? He goes, is this your thing? You wait until it starts and then you just get in the way of everybody's shit. And I was like,

Whoa. What? Uh, first of all, is that a question? Yeah. I asked, is that your question?

Is that like a Lincoln Park concert? No, it was like a very mild destroyer. Oh yeah. Anyway, I just wanted to know if that happened at that concert where you're allowed to do that, right? I wasn't out of, I didn't steal a seat.

It was a standing room only kind of. Yeah, I don't know. Were you on his, had he put down a picnic blanket? There was no blankets. This was, and there was lots of room. But let's be clear about that. To be fair, that is your thing. Yeah.

Just get it, wait till it starts and then get up in front of everybody. You double park a lot as well. What if you had said that, yeah, that, yes, this is in fact your thing. Yeah. Just get it, wait till it starts and then get up in front of everybody. You double bark a lot as well. What if you had said that, yeah, that yes, this is in fact my thing. And then what would he? Yeah,

I guess this is, well, now that you mention it, yeah, this isn't my thing. Or I was looking for a thing and now I found it. Thank you.

Thank you. Thanks for identifying it. Yeah, I guess like at a, at a concert like that, like you have to that's what people do though you have to fill like

any empty space will be filled and I've had that happen to me a thousand times unless you're people passing by you because they want to get closer to the stage unless you're standing like unless you keep backing up and you don't want to be

anyone around you like people will but it also happened like like 45 to a minute into the like the guy sat there for a while and like stewed over this yeah yeah and then it broke but i think it's your thing yeah it is i just wanted that was why sorry i interrupted no but when people say something like that they've they've been stewing yes then they're like is going to be the most spectacular when I blow this. And when I turned around, he was in a group of like four people.

They had this look on their face like, sorry, this is his thing. Oh, his thing. This is his thing. Yeah. Oh, brother. Yeah. Get a load of this guy. I was like, no big deal, man.

It's just two guys doing their thing. Our things are not connecting right now. But it's fine. This is my thing. Things passing in the night. We both have things. Yeah, it's like, I remember once accidentally at the, like, I had to look something up at the library. And I didn't realize there was a line for the lookup computer.

Because I had earbuds in. So yeah. Oh, and the guy came over and he was just fucking foaming at the mouth. Like it was, it was crazy. It was an honest mistake. It could,

there's nobody that would purposefully. Right. Maybe, maybe. I don't know. The library takes all kinds. Yeah, that's true.

But that, that grotesque is not intentional. Like you'd have to be everyone, this is my computer. You put your arms around it. This is my thing. Do you remember

when we went to see Mounties? Yeah, yeah. We went separately but we saw each other there and the opener was Rich A Coin. Yeah. Oh, that's right. He did a big thing.

His, part of his, like he gets the crowd to do things and one of the things is get in other people's way no one of the things is he gets one of those parachutes from like grade two yeah oh right and you go under yeah i wouldn't do that like so the band that i saw that night uh very just like we're gonna play the songs and and then just down the street was the Darkness was playing. Oh, yeah.

And my friend Katie Ellen Humphries went to that show. And do you know who opened that show? Was it Rich O'Cohen? Diarrhea Planet. I saw that on my Instagram ads, like The Darkness with Diarrhea Planet. Oh, boy. This is probably the best time for band names. Because you don't need to worry about

radio play anymore. Walmart's not going to sell our album? Okay. But apparently he's like, he's Mr. I'm going to get you to do crazy things during the show. The darkness. And he asked for

somebody to throw a jacket on stage so he could wear a jacket for this one song and this guy's phone fell out of the jacket when he threw it on stage and then he, like,

texted the guy's girlfriend all about the jacket. Like, do you think I look like a rebel in this jacket? Like, do you think this is a cool jacket?

Now that's fun. Yeah. If you were to front a band. Were you getting this information while you were watching your much more sort of subdued concert? I got it the next day. So you wouldn't have left your concert to go down. I don't think that you can just buy a ticket to one concert and go to any concert. Oh, it's not a festival pass?

That is your thing. There you go. Right. You're just a storm in going, same concert, different venue, right? I'm going to the front of the stage. Who's this? What is the music? Who's the guy with the stick with the strings on it?

That's not a drum set. My buddy's got one in Calgary. He's got it from a dead jazz guy. Yeah, yeah. That's not a drum set. My buddy's got one in Calgary cut from a dead jazz guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is my thing. You're right.

It's totally your thing. But would you be more of a bantery band leader? Or would you just be like, hey, they're here to hear the music? Oh, I wouldn't. You have to be so good to be. Well, you guys, all the banter, bands that banter want to be comedians. But you also have to have the

chops to like. I hate it when someone tries to be a banter band person and they're bad at banter. Right. But they're trying. What is the darkness? It's like stop talking for the last 15 years. I didn't know they were still a thing. They were sent to Diarrhea Planet. Were they?

Because they started off as like sort of a tongue in cheek metal throwback. Yeah. And they can sing really high. Yeah. I do know that. So my friend Paul and Dave, they do FUBAR. Yeah. And in FUBAR, there's a fictional band.

And the joke is that the singer in the band can sing really high and they get the guy from the darkness to do it. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, cool. So he does it. Yeah. I think they've just been like doing their thing. Yeah, I just haven't heard of them since.

Yeah. I think they just like travel around and sing their metal songs. To their metal fans. Yeah. I would go to that concert. I wish I had known it was happening. Well, I tried to email you, but... The guy at the library wouldn't let me on the computer.

Yeah. And I couldn't go because I had a case of, you know what, planet. Oh, boy. Do we want to move on to overheards? Yeah. All right. Welcome, everyone,

to the live wrestling spectacular in Los Angeles. So far, the world's most boring wrestling podcast has been destroying the competition. Isn't there anyone who can save us from this travesty? Wait, could it be? It's Titan Fights, the perfect wrestling podcast. Titan Fights is here to save us from the monotony of boring wrestling podcasts with hilarious conversations. Woke trips through the history of wrestling. And joke about the finer points of people wearing spandex.

What a match! And the Tights and Fights podcast will be back every week. Thursdays on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. Please, these hosts have families. Tights and Fights podcast. Tights and Fights. Overheard. Overheard. It's a segment where we all have heard things out there in the world

We remembered them, we brought them here to the podcast We always like to start with the guest Pat, would you lead the charge? Yes, and I was asking you before if this is, it's legal If my overheard is like a conversation sort of It's barely legal Barely legal. Well, I'm a lawyer, so I can adjudicate to that vehemently of the legality re.

Hey, you're a lawyer? I'm a fashion designer. I need some representation. Can I patent the word zipper? And I need someone to make my gown? My law gown? Yeah, my legal gown. Yes.

So this is an overheard from my beautiful wife and I. We're coming home from Salt Lake City, of which she's a native. Grew up there. And it was sort of the closing weekend of the big Mormon festival. Okay. Mormfest. Mormcon. Mormcon.

And so lots of Mormons are leaving Salt Lake to go back to wherever they're from. So we're noticing a higher- Provo. Than usual sort of Mormon population in the airport. Moab. Yeah. When this happens, we tend to take a lot of photos.

You know, when you go and stand in front of happens, we tend to take a lot of photos. You know, when you go and stand in front of somebody and you pretend to take a picture of somebody, but you're really taking a picture

of the person behind. Yeah. We did a lot of that. And because you are racially intensive? No, we just, the outfits and the signs that they have

for each other are kind of fun. Like there's posters at the airport. Mormons like to greet each other with lots of posters fun yeah so we're in the line to go through security and there's this young guy

right behind us who is like quintessentially just a perfect new mormon man and you can tell he's about to go on his mission and so i'm about to like take a picture of him because I'm loving his suspenders and his name tag and everything. And then I just moments before I do that, he taps us on the shoulder and says, excuse me, can you tell me what to do? And we said, what? He said, I've never been on a plane before.

Wow. What do we do? So then we walked him through the the the you know take the keys out of he's like probably 18 yeah uh take the keys out of your thing your shoes you know you're gonna have to walk through this thing and then he's look now he looks like sort of petrified yeah and i'm like oh okay it's gonna be all right i'll help you and then i i said where are you where are you going on your mission? And he's like, yeah. I said, where are you going?

And he said, the Amazon. Oh, my God. The Amazon. And then I said. You're afraid of a plane. Yes. And I said, have you ever left Salt Lake before? No.

No. In for a penny just in for a penny and for a pound. And so I couldn't believe it when we got home. We're like eating dinner and I like,

we'd been home for a few hours and I like snapped to attention. I'm like, that kid has arrived in the Amazon. He's like.

And then he just asked the local, what do I do? What do I do? So it's like going down the river with his white shirt. Yeah, wow. You actually can't have short sleeves in the Amazon. Yeah.

So is it, do you just draw a place? Do you not get to? I don't know how that works. I think they tell you or you say you I want to go on a mission and the Mormon headquarters says you're going here the day of the mission is like you will be going to New York City yay

and you will be going to the whole of the Amazon you'll be our one guy in the Amazon wow yeah and then Lizzie asked him too do you have a computer in your backpack? Because you have to put that.

And he went, no, just books. Wow. Yeah. Well, was he Amish or more? Was this his rumspringa? He, that's, that's my innocent man voice. Yeah. Do it again.

No, no, no. Just books. I mean, because he doesn't have technology yeah i mean it was just like this this moment of me and and the taking pictures is not mean-spirited i was like just kind of going like lizzie there's a great great guy right behind you and then then he does this and then we were like oh this isn't even fun anymore that runs the tumblr look at this fucking mormon um the uh i i wish you were sitting next to him the whole time like to going to the amazon no just at least or if you're on the same flight part of the way like if he came to vancouver just so you could be like, if he was like, you know,

you're sitting on the plane, what are these little screens? Yeah, like, oh no, the person sitting beside him on the plane to wherever you go to from Salt Lake

to the Amazon first, I assume you maybe fly to... Direct. It's direct. Yeah, they have direct. To the Amazon. To Amazon.

Wake up in the Amazon is what they say on the posters. When I went to Colombia. Anyway, two years. And you know, the thing is, they don't get to call home or anything. That's the rule. They don't get to call home?

You don't get to call home. He probably has never seen a phone in his life. You write a letter. You write a letter. You can write a letter, and you can only phone home on your mother's birthday and mother's day. Is that true? Is this true? This is true.

Wow. So you don't check in. That's the whole point of this mission is you figure it out. You're on your own. Wow. And then you become a man and you come home and declare you're ready. And some of you will become. Snake food.

Yeah. Oh, I said I wish I could pay $1,000 to see this person in two years. Like I would pay money to say, hey, kid, let's meet back right here in two years. If any of, I would pay money to say, Hey kid, let's meet back here in two years. If, if any of our Mormon listeners are still listening. Yeah. So I, this is, this is not, this is just, it was mind blowing to me that this. Pat's wife is from Salt Lake City. So yeah, you know, she's probably a Mormon.

Yeah. Yeah. Probably. Negative. Negative. Okay. All right. Um, but I, I didn't, I didn't know nothing about these. I know that they go on missions. Yeah, probably. Negative. Okay. All right.

But I didn't know nothing about these. I know that they go on missions. I didn't realize it was intercontinental. I thought it was. Oh, it's anywhere. Like some people can be sent to Tucson and some people are sent to Paris. I knew it was intergalactic. I didn't know it was planetary. I think it's quite common too, to go to a place like this where maybe the, uh, the, the conversion can occur, not Manhattan.

You're maybe going to be harder to find somebody who wants to sign up to be a Mormon. Uh, but in the Amazon where they are worshiping a spider. are worshipping a spider. Now, I disagree with this line of thinking. People in the Amazon are worshipping a spider. It's the craziest. I didn't go. Abby went to the Amazon.

When we went to Colombia, I came back and Abby... Just lost all your Amazonian lessons. Yeah, stayed an extra week. And they were in Colombia. And they crossed the border into Brazil And I think also into Peru Or one of those other ones And uh But there's no border control

Cause it's just like yeah how are you gonna get out Like if you walk from If you cross the border Walking from Colombia to Brazil In the Amazon You still have to get out of the Amazon I just had a thought Maybe he's going to Amazon from Colombia to Brazil in the Amazon. You still have to get out of the Amazon. That's true. Yeah, that's where they are. I just had a thought.

Maybe he's going to Amazon. Yeah. Headquarters. Yes. That's true. There's a lot of people working there. Exactly. He's just walking around the Amazon campus for the next two years.

Yeah. He's a programmer. He was a coder. Oh, wow. That was a long overheard, you guys. That was great. That was a coder. Oh, wow. That was a long overheard, you guys. That was great. That was a fine one. Okay.

Dave, do you have an overheard? Well, these are overseens, and I already posted these on my Instagram, but I always watch, because when I'm at a hockey game, at a certain point in the second period, they will say, and now watch the screen for special announcements, and it'll be like, happy birthday, John, on your birthday.

Happy birthday on your birthday. Happy anniversary to John on your birthday. And they just come up on the screen. The game keeps going. People don't really pay attention. Welcome, you know, North Vancouver minor hockey

right kids go crazy when they say their birthday maybe not john because it's his anniversary and he's like i don't want it to trump my birth you know my wife will get mad and trump my birthday so uh these and norm but normally they're not this entertaining there were three that made me laugh happy 75th birthday gung gung randy Gung Gung Randy. Love from the fam. Happy birthday to my cray beautiful bucket head, always, Clog. Oh, wow. That's really good. What's Clog spelled with his ear?

Okay. Nice. And happy 11th birthday, Jack Nicholson. Love mom and dad. Thanks, mom and dad. They went through it. They called their son Jack.

And they called him Nicholson. We're the Nicholsons and we're going to have a lot of fun with our first kid. Let's sew with our second. Do you think that were any of those intentional to get you laughing?

No. Is anybody trolling the big board now i feel like there's yeah because there's not it's not like you just text it and it goes up automatically you have to um uh you have to like someone's vetting them yeah huh do you remember a few years ago on the trade deadline someone someone, they were just like, they were showing on TV any tweet that had this hashtag. And so. Boy. That's just, that is just a recipe for this.

The hashtag trade deadline. Yeah. Or something. Yeah. And so like this, just on national TV, while these analysts are talking just across the screen, it said something about a player having sex with another player's wife. Forget what it was.

Anytime that you're like... This is probably the hockey-est podcast we've ever done. Really? I feel like we've done hockey-er. Well, I don't know. But it was good. Good hockey-wise.

Twice as much hockey. Yeah, because there's twins. Yeah, twins, yeah. Were they the only twins in the league? At that time, they were. Yeah. But there have been other twins. Yeah, Ron and Rich Sutter.

Oh, yeah. Oh, those are twins? Mm-hmm. Oh. Yeah. They're bros. The rest were bros. Bros before twins, right?

Is that the, why? It's a saying yeah i guess yeah bros before yeah okay yeah um um um um graham yes my overheard uh is a courtesy of a bunch of this isn't a detail that's part of the overheard but all the kids were holding their uh honor roll certificates that i guess were handed out that day so this was these were the smartest kids what i guess is it is it the end i don't know why you're so james dave was not getting one of those awards but i'm like this is april why are they giving them away in apr? Because the honor roll kids finished school two months before. Or is it... It was so easy for them.

When does the second... End of the second trimester? Yeah, I don't know, but they were all holding these honor roll certificates. So I was like, this is the collection, the best and brightest. Oh, I wouldn't want to see them with a push-pull door. And they were all teasing this one kid because he was we were going north and he had to catch a bus that was going east west and so all the kids were saying oh your bus just your bus just left and he would like turn around and there was no bus and uh so they were teasing him the whole ride and then

at some point uh the kids were saying the bus, your bus really just left. And the kid was like, no, I've, I've, I've figured it out. Like you're not,

the bus has not left. And then this drunk guy that was not up on the honor roll, drunk guy showed up. No man, they're not messing with you. Your bus just left. And it hadn't, he was just getting it.

Oh, that was good. I'm messing with you. Your bus just left. And it hadn't. He was just getting in on the prank. That was pretty good. It got him excited for the days of prank gone by. Yeah, yeah. In his own life. Of Gung Gung Randy. Yeah. And he.

You think he was Gung Gung Randy? He might have been. This guy just seemed like he was relivingiving some some fun like you say yeah like a prank from yesteryear gung gung um an offensive thing have i been saying a slur i don't know i i mean i don't know i mean they put it up on the board it's probably fine yeah i figured those people at the board they got it as you said somebody's vetted yeah uh Yeah, okay. You know. Should I not be throwing around gung-gung Randy? Gung-gung Randy.

I mean, you know, I wouldn't make it a habit. Guys, I just got a vanity plate made for my car. Oh, no, Dave, Dave. Too long, though, so the front plate says gung-gung. Back plate says Randy. Yeah. Is a gun a gun? G-U-N-G, G-U-N-ung Gung. Back plate says Randy. Is a gun a gun? G-U-N-G, G-U-N-G.

Gung Gung Randy. Gung Gung Randy. I don't know anybody that goes by that name, but that doesn't mean that it's not a name. And also, are they giving everyone these honor roll certificates? Well, not the drunk guy. But like, what are the odds that every kid you saw had one? Well, I think they were a bunch of nerds. Oh, okay.

I think this was, they run and- And what time of day was this? This was school getting out time. Oh, okay. So they get out of school at the same time, but they're finished school two months before everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, if that was the deal, when I was in school.

It'd be amazing. What an incentive. Yeah. Learn fast, learn well. You can be done by Christmas. Yeah, you can have, you get a four-month summer vacation. Oh, man.

Your parents would hate it. They'd be like, okay, well, congratulations on straight A's. I guess watch Sally Jelly, Jesse Raphael for the next four months. Really catch up on the days of our lives. Are you having a lot of time to go to the Amazon? Yeah. And teach them.

Yeah. You know what? There's dishes that need to be done at home before you go off to the Amazon. Now, we also have overheard. Our snake needs food. We have overheard sent in for people around the world If you want to send one in to us You can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org The first one comes from Charlotte

From Hamilton, Ontario I was staying at my sister's over the Easter weekend And overheard my nephew dismissively reviewing The contents of my toiletry bag to my niece. While looking at my face wash, he smugly said, vitamin E. That's just a rip off of vitamin C.

You couldn't even get vitamin C for this. Um, what did you, they, are they close in the same vitamin family though? I don't. E and C. E and C. How do they isolate it?

Electric circus? Yeah, vitamin. I don't know. All I know is C is the orange one. Yeah, D is the sun one. And riboflavin is the funny one. What does E do for you? So you take a lot of C.

No, scurvy. Yeah. Take a lot of E. Oh, you take a lot of E. You can make out with people at the dance. Have a pacifier. At the Yeah. Take a lot of E. Oh, you take a lot of E. Oh, yeah. You make out with people at the dance. Right.

Have a pass at the dance. Take a lot of D. Sounds like my ex-wife. What was her name again? Oh, Patricia. Oh, wait. That's your mom's name. That's my mom's name.

But, you know, a common name. Your mom's name is Patricia Clark? Yeah yeah and her address why why is that great name yeah trish it just goes by trish goes by trish not patty no never patty never pat do you ever go by patty no no maybe when i was younger playing on a hockey team. Patty Kelly. Patty. Patty. Is your legal name Pat? Patty.

No. Legally speaking, we're a Patrick. Oh, Patrick. Yes, but that's been a long time. Yeah. Yeah. My brother's name is Patrick. So Patricia named her son Patrick.

Yeah. I just realized that. Yeah, me too. You just realized it? Yeah. Yeah. My brother's name is Patrick. So Patricia named her son Patrick. Yeah. I just realized that. Yeah, me too. You just realized it? Yeah, I didn't ever think about it. Older? Younger. So she thought about it for you.

No. Always expected all of us to be girls. So I had girl names picked out. So girl turned into Graham. Yeah. No, they were going to call me gh out. So Gra-ral-um. Yeah. Gra-ral-um. Girl turned into Graham. Yeah. No, they were going to call me Ghoul. Right.

And then it turned into Graham. Right. Gotcha. Yeah. So, you know, Graham was just picked out of a hat. Yeah. Yeah. This next one comes from Michael M. in Parts Unknown.

This is my job. Requires travel and overnight work. This means I eat a large number of hotel breakfasts. Breakfasts? Dressed in a polo shirt with a big corporate logo on it. Breakfasts. This morning, while I was eating breakfast, an elderly woman at the table next to me leaned over and asked, Are you here because of robotics?

No, I answered. I'm here because of work. Then I gestured towards the logo. Do you work in robotics? She asked. No, just remodels, IT stuff, things like that. Oh, she said, turning away for me to face the elderly man reading the newspaper over his breakfast table. way for me to face the elderly man reading the newspaper over his breakfast table uh then she whispered possibly to the man uh though i didn't acknowledge her uh or possibly just to herself

robotics is the best sport i don't understand i mean i guess it is there's those those robo wars robo fights yeah um what was the hugh jackman movie uh real steel and then you've got your west world that's kind of like a sport um the robo well yeah is she thinking video games i think i'm thinking of that robot wars yeah then the little ring yeah yeah i mean when robots eventually do tear us asunder we will have it had it coming because of things like that making the fight right out of the gates right the first thing that we thought well no the first thing we thought was making me a coin but maybe he made reference to his polo shirt saying this. Maybe she had a slip and meant to say polo's the best sport.

Oh, maybe she's a robot that's malfunctioning. Yes. Yeah. Hello, Westworld. Hello. I saw someone had wired their wide mouth billy bass with Alexa so that anytime Alexa talks, it was the wide mouth billy bass with Alexa so that anytime Alexa talks it was the wide mouth billy bass ah humans are great

I hope robots give us a few more years to fuck with them yeah I wonder what the final straw will be it will be something stupid where robots eventually just say alright rip their skin off. Let's do it. Let's wear their skin

like a t-shirt. This final one comes from Kearney, no last name, San Francisco. I was at the San Francisco Ferry Building, which is a swanky food hall with an amazing weekly farmer's market. And I overhear this 30-something

former frat bro say to his buddy I don't really like the taste of oysters I just like the social aspect yeah is that a thing

I mean I don't like the taste of oysters but they're fun to eat and are they fun are they though bring people around a pizza is the same action

no so you mean putting something in your mouth you mean just eating in your mouth? You mean just eating? Slurping. And not chewing?

Have a bowl of soup. It's the same action. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Get a little piece of bread, dip it in some soup, and go, mmm. But isn't also cracking it open? You don't crack them open.

Oh, you don't. They just serve them to you they serve them to you and sometimes they have a little bit of grit in them oh like like sand or something yeah or a pearl yeah um what's that he like the social yeah social aspect of oysters i maybe means okay because don't they make you horny i mean you can't i mean that's the ultimate social intercourse yeah yeah uh but like oysters it's the activity of the slime the slime that makes people want to do you don't like them i don't i i you know what i'm perfectly down the middle with them i don't care for them and i don't hate them. I don't, I don't crave them.

I don't, I don't say, I don't feel satisfied. Like it's a meal. No. And I wouldn't want them like smoked or anything where we had to chew them. No, but I,

uh, muscles are all right. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, I can, I'm allergic to all of them.

So I don't know. I know that they all look disgusting. Did this happen in one foul swoop? Yeah. Birth. Yeah. Like you were born and your parents were like, give him an oyster. See if he can do this.

Yeah. It was the same day. So it's the same. Like he doesn't need teeth to eat an oyster. Right. It was, uh, some people do that instead of breastfeeding. They just give their kid raw oysters. They make, don't you put lemon on it?

Yeah, a little bit of Tabasco. Yeah, yeah. A tiny bottle of Tabasco. Horseradish. I don't crave them. I don't like them really, but if they're on a menu, I'll get them. Oh, will you? Get them.

Oh, yeah. See, I always participate them when somebody else has ordered them. Like if there's a big fan of oysters. You're in it for the social life. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Your oyster oysters. You're in it for the social life. Yeah. There you go. You're oyster mooch. I'm in it for the social life. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept

your phone calls. You want to call us? Do it. 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Bye Paul. Like these people have. Like these people have. Good pentameter. Hey, Dave and Graham.

This is Kyle in Seattle, calling in with an overseeing, walking around here on the University of Washington campus. I just saw two people on a tandem bicycle, a man and a woman. The man was in the front wearing yellow spandex, head down, bicycle helmet on, just going at it like he was on a tour de France. And the woman sitting in the back, kind of upright in business attire with a coffee in her hand, barely pedaling. Kind of wanted to know what their day was doing. Bye.

Yeah, but I mean, that's the whole thing with a tandem bicycle. You don't have to participate. Yeah, and in this case, it seems even like he was just like, let me give you a ride. Yeah. This feels like an Uber of a bicycle. This situation feels like a tuber. Or a tandem, tandem Uber.

Tandem Uber. No, you're not going to get there. Hello, hello. I a tandem, tandem uber. Tandem uber. No, you're not going to get there. Hello, hello, hellober. Pedal lift. Pedaluber. Psycholuber. Psycholuber. Psycholuber.

Yeah, there you go. This feels like this was a service. Hop on. Yeah. I work. You. I, you hear me grunt and uh swear on my butt yeah i saw a couple like a like a couple in their late 60s on a tandem bike on like a greenway and they waved at me and i was like like like look at us we're on a bike hello fellow. But it looks like they're from a Viagra commercial or something.

It's like, what can we put two old people together that, you know, makes you think they're probably fucking. Have you been on one? Never. No, no. You? You? Don't knock until you try it. Yeah, I have.

I don't think we knocked it. Was it hard to do? I think I knocked it. Was it, was it hard to do? I think I, I, I was much younger. My brother and I on a family trip once, uh, and we rented one of these and I think I did the easy part. I was the back. Nice. Yeah.

Oh, was it like more than two? Cause the back. Like a whole family? No, no. It was just the two of us, but the back handlebars don't move or anything. Yeah. So it's very easy to become kind of lazy. Do the pedals move independently?

Like if the first person's pedaling. I seem to remember they were the same. So you're just adding double power. Yeah, that's what I mean. You can just like rest your feet down there or take yours off. Yeah, and they'll just keep spinning. Yeah, yeah.

Like a Muppet. A Muppet riding a bicycle. But it's the inherent nature of the person in the front because they feel like they're the one writing. They're the boss. They're the boss. Yeah. And if you're in the back, you can get a coffee and wear a business attire.

You can write wash me on them. Yes. Here's your next call. Hey, Dave and Graham and a charming Canadian person. It's Jesse from Los Angeles. I'm in San Francisco, visiting San Francisco, and I just finished eating breakfast in the Tenderloin. And the Tenderloin is where a lot of the city's homeless services are located. And as I was crossing the street, I saw this guy who was talking really vociferously to himself,

but I couldn't quite hear what he was saying and i was kind of continuing across the street towards him and i could see he was sort of doing some moves and really going wild talking to himself and i finally got across the street close enough to hear what he was saying and it was i'm a nut case i'm a nut case a motherfucking nut case nut case in it well off i go i really like it yeah it's uh he's he's a singer songwriter yeah uh performing live in a crosswalk that was jesse thorne yeah uh jesse get a phone mean, like spring for the long distance. I think it's a free call. You don't have to record an MP3 and email it to us.

It just sounds so off. I mean, we're trying to, I guess I could put a phone filter on. Yeah, I like the crispness. I think that should be your new standard. I think you're going the wrong, you're trending the wrong way on this. Oh, no, no. You're encouraging the well-recorded home studio-ist to not send in. To slum it. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Next week, everybody must get their own studio. Yeah. I want to hear some, I want you to use vintage German microphones and tube amps. Here's your final phone call, dudes. Hi, Dave and Graham. Liz from New West calling in with an overheard. I was dragged into Lululemon

earlier today and I overheard a woman telling a store employee that she needed shorts for a hike to which the employee replied, oh, so you're getting into hiking? And then the employee replied, oh, so you're getting into hiking? And then the woman says,

very firmly, she goes, no, these are just for one hike. Thanks. Yeah, I am planning on committing a murder. And so I'm going to wear these. Or suicide. Well, yeah, that's true. She's, guys, she's a con woman.

Needs to go on a single hike. That's right. To get the thing done. Scrubs. Those shorts are her scrubs. Yes. Except he wore the scrubs every day and she's only going on the one. One hike because.

I mean, life is like one hike. She just needs to get to the top where there's the big mansion that she gets to live in. Because if she can do the hike, that means she can impress the prince. The prince. Sure. Yeah. The prince of calves. Of mountain man.

Singular hike. Yeah. I mean, when I think about my hiking career. If I'm being realistic, yeah. Yeah. I feel like I've, when I think about if I'm being realistic, yeah. Yeah. I feel like I've committed to one. Would you go buy

a pair of shorts for that experience? No, I would, you know, I would wear jeans and maybe, maybe inappropriate

boots and, uh, just hate it. Just hate the whole experience. Maybe I'd throw out those jeans at the end, but,

uh, no, I don't think I'd buy a pair of shorts just for one hike. Just one hike. That's all it took. It was just one hike.

Something, something. Pat. Yes. That brings us to the end of this here episode. Well, it's been a pleasure. It's been our pleasure. Conning you guys. It wasn't me at all.

I'm not a stock podcasting. I'm actually an accountant, and I jerked my way into here. Why are you wearing scrubs? Thank you for having me. When, where can people get the new podcast? Okay, May 1st. Yes. It's coming out.

It's called This Sounds Serious with Daniel Bronstad, written by Dave Schumacher. The case. The case of Daniel Bronstad, written by Dave Schumacher. The case. The case of Daniel Bronstad. Yeah. Available on CastBox. It's a CastBox original. But it's available everywhere.

Everywhere. But it's a CastBox original, but you can get it wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. All right. And we are very excited by it, and I hope other people are too. Yeah, it sounds really good. Yeah. Wow, I'm excited to hear it.

How many parts is it? It's going to be eight apps, but you get two at once on May 1st. Oh, nice. Hook ya. That's how you do it. Hook ya on the Modo. What's that? If you don't want to say

sound too scary, make it too scary. Say murder like a kid. Modo. Modo. Oh, no. It's a Modo podcast. But yes, that's what's happening. That's fun.

Yeah. I can't wait. I cannot wait. This will be my- Well, you have to tell me first. No, you can go subscribe now, actually. Oh, yeah, yeah. That would be a big-

The trailer is up. The trailer is up. Okay, there we go. Find it wherever you get your podcasts. That would be a big. The trailer is up. The trailer is up. Hey, there we go. Find it wherever you get your podcasts. Give it a fiver. The feed is active. Feed is active. Say this, you know, write a nice review, whatever you can do.

Yeah. Yes. Go there. Write a nice review. Thank you so much for being our guest. Also, this week, this very week, I'll be in Toronto, Ontario. Oh, no. So scary.

I know it is very scary. But. Toronto. Toronto makes it sound a little bit easier. I'll be at the Comedy Bar doing two shows, two quiz shows. You guys have both been guests on quiz show. Yeah. So one of the funnest things I've ever done.

It was a lot of fun. Yes've ever done it was a lot of fun yes and uh it will be a lot of fun if you want to come to the show's comedy bar that's where you want to be yeah also on may 1st in addition to the podcast i'm holding a big march in red square are you yeah dave you finally did you're gonna do it I bought a bunch of tanks. Oh, you're on the tank side of this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody better stop those tanks with their groceries. Big missile.

Yeah. Nobody better stand in front of those tanks. This is a different square I'm thinking of. Red square. Absolutely. In Moscow. Moscow City. Big march.

What's this in celebration of? May Day. Nice. In Moscow. Moscow City. Big March. What's this in celebration of? May Day. Nice. Over and out. And thank you all for listening. You can follow us on Twitter at Stop Podcasting. You can go to Reddit at slash Maximum Fun. And we have a Facebook group.

You want to join that? Yeah. Yeah. They're stealing your data. Yeah. Oh, that's true. If you want to give away some of your precious, precious data. Yeah.

That's where to go. Do it. Give it away. And thanks for listening. If you like the show, tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. so maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported