Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 53

Episode Date: March 8, 2009

We are once again guestless as we talk Watchmen, Jessica Alba, and we debut a new segment called Don't Get Me Started.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 53 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and joining me as always is the intrepid and fearless, the peerless and careerless Dave Shumka. Thanks. We should have given you a beat.

You could have freestyled that. I was starting to, and then I was like, ah, I forgot to call out for a beat. And today, on episode 53, much like on episode 52, we're flying. We're not flying solo, but we're flying duo. We're flying solo to the ground and too close to the sun. It's my fault. I blame myself. Because this weekend...

Graham, you love too much. I love too much. I live to give. This weekend, I have to go back to Victoria. I don't have to. I want to. My grandmother is in the hospital. And so I'm going gonna go back and visit

her again i was there last weekend so we can't get we couldn't get a guest it's thursday night there were a lot of possibilities but uh we decided to stick with the two of us as most of them fell through but i think from what i gather from kind of the bumper feedback that we got this week the two of us was okay nobody said bring back you know i'm if you don't bring back guests i'm out yeah checking out of this hotel no no we're like a drug no one's getting off us yeah we're like horse that's horse a drug yeah it's i don't know i think it's like an old-timey nickname for heroin oh okay yeah you're on the horse. But you know what's weird about that saying is you'll say,

you've got to get back on the horse. But what if a guy's like, but I'm trying to get off the horse. He's like, get back on the horse. But if you're trying to get off it, you would say, I'm trying to kick the horse. But in Soviet Union, horse kicks you. Should we get to Noah's? Please. Get to Noah's. union horse kicks you uh should we get to know us please probably the best joke of all time yeah we'll see the uh on the the tv show this week the list the city news list we have this thing where you just do the one joke like there's

a news story and then we all do a joke and there was one joke it was about a russian man who overdosed on viagra okay so then my joke was in russia viagra overdoses on you yeah right but then the next day there was another joke about a russian guy who died in a pancake eating contest so then i just like as long as a Russian guy's involved, in Russia, pancakes eat you, right? Right. Like, that's the only joke that seems appropriate. Or they must break you. Yes, in Russia, pancakes break you.

So, yeah, we have, it's just us. It's you, it's me, it's the couch. So, well, Dave, we'll start with you. What's going on? It's been a calendar week. It has been a full seven days. And a lot can happen. Don't underestimate what can happen in seven days. Know your limit. Play within it. The Titanic sank in seven days. Is that all?

Yeah. Rome was built in a day. All roads lead to Rome. And Rome for the holidays. Rome if you want to. Rome around the world. Here's a thing that happened, or that's happening. My dad is going to Antarctica next week. What?

And I just think it's crazy. Well, it's crazy for so many reasons. Why is he going to Antarctica? He was invited. By some penguins? I think. Okay, what does your dad do? He collects ice.

So that makes sense. Yeah. He's an ice collector. Yeah, he collects it in his beard. In windstorms. Your dad collects natural ice sculptures, and the likes of which he can only find in The likes of which you've never seen. Yeah, so I don't actually know why he's going.

He was invited, and... How long is he going for? I think three weeks, or part of it, he's going. He was invited and... How long is he going for? I think three weeks or part of it. He's going to go to Argentina for part of it. Don't cry for him while he's there. He's going to go to Argentina. He's going to go to Antarctica. Is he filming something for the BBC?

He's good friends with James Cameron. He's going under the ice. With Jimmy Cam. What is it that your dad does again? He is a semi-retired hitman. And there's a rogue polar bear. He's got some business with. He used to, well, he started, he bought a pair of black jeans and a couple years ago he had this black turtleneck, and he was very hitman for a while. He was wearing them together? Yeah. He was wearing some black jeans and a black turtleneck? Yeah.

And your mom had to ship you, in the night, she had to ship you his bongos. She was afraid he was going to join the beatnik set and never come back. Yeah. His beret. His whatnot. He's like, join the beatnik set and never come back. His beret. His whatnot. He's like, East Vancouver nightmares and Delaware go nowheres. That's your dad being a beatnik. Yeah, I know.

I got it. It was poetry. But the weird thing is, like, I don't know a lot about this trip um could you go with him i wasn't invited could you invite yourself i should could you smuggle yourself away in a suitcase a um a stowaway yeah yeah yeah like that movie castaway only with stowing i will play the volleyball yeah right um That's what I... Your dad could put sticks in your head and talk to you. And a big handprint on my face.

Maybe you should re-watch March of the Penguins and see if your dad is somewhere in the footage of the making of. That implies I've watched it once. You haven't seen March of the Penguins? Nope. Really? Yeah. Feel free to spoil it uh well danny devito makes a brief appearance reprising his role from batman right

got it um i hear morgan freeman is the voice of it yeah here's the weird thing that happened shortly or like after that movie came out there was another there was a spoof movie called farce of the penguins with bob saget yeah and it was just like a bunch of comedians doing voices of the of the birds right and the weird thing is that uh when i was on a plane that was one of the things you could watch, was Farce of the Penguins. So I watched a bit of it. But I was like, it's one of those things where I was like, why did they bother to do it? Because it wasn't like, if the comics were all at a house party, and he was like, oh, while they're all here, just get them to improv some dialogue.

And then it turned out OK. So he released it. But I don't understand why you would actually do that as a as a thing you know because like uh it's not it doesn't seem like a very good idea it's probably inexpensive to make uh oh yeah totally and like i mean it's got some great like it's got like norm mcdonald it, and everything he says is really funny. And Bob Saget produces it, so the standards aren't the highest. Yeah, but it was a weird, like, it's, like, because Bob Saget seems like the type of guy that he, like, went away, and then he came back, and he was, like, the, like, dirty Saget. Yeah.

He was a dirty Saget. Apparently he had always been dirty. Yeah, right? like dirty saget yeah he was a dirty saget apparently he had always been dirty yeah right but then that was kind of his new thing so that kind of got him some press and then he was really filthy in that uh aristocrats so then it kind of seemed like he would have a project that would be like an underground smash and i thought like this was that type of thing but then when i saw it i was like this just isn't a very good idea he did have a project that was a graveyard smash it was his remake of the monster it was the farce of the monsters um i don't know the other thing maybe i'm being unduly harsh the other thing that that happened to me this week is i saw one hell of a movie which one outlander outlander i don't even know what that wait

there can only be one outlander uh i sure hope so what is outlander okay wait gotta catch them all who who's the name of the star james caviezel okay he is also in... The Passion of the Christ. Right, he was Jesus. Yeah, he was... Johnny Jesus. He played Rick Passion. Yeah, Rick Passion. He had one last chance at a big score, and he took it.

Passion's 11. So, Jim Caviezel plays Jesus. Now, in this movie... He plays... Also plays Jesus now in this movie. He plays. Also plays Jesus. He's typecast. He plays a. You're going to love it, by the way.

Oh, I can't wait. Yeah. He plays an alien. A space traveler. He's a humanoid. Sure, sure. Lots of aliens are. The best aliens are.

Starman. Mork. The big two. He lands he lands in uh viking times in norway okay and he this is great he must help uh the vikings defeat a dragon okay wait a minute wait a minute wait this is a foreign film no this is an american made film uh it's in english that's all right all right and not it's not foreign language no but it could be foreign it could have been made in norway well it's foreign language in the sense that all the people are vikings and thus have british accents oh yeah uh okay and it's awesome um i fell asleep okay

but abby liked it really why did she like it uh vikings dragons and aliens okay so um here's the question. How did that get made? Because nobody's seen it, right? You and Abby are the only two people to have ever seen this movie. Right. And Abby's brother. Oh, okay. He loves it. Really?

Yeah. Has it got good special effects? No, it's got terrible special effects, as a matter of fact. Yeah. Huh. That's weird. Why would you make that movie? That's not a movie that people need to see, is it?

I don't know. Why would you make Revolutionary Rude? I haven't seen it, but I hear great things. You did not. You never heard any great things. You're lying. I, um, here's a, okay, so. So that's what happened to me.

That's a lot. That's a lot for one week i know i heavy as the head that hangs on the neck of the man in the pan who fell asleep watching outlander i uh uh have you ever uh like that's the most recent movie you've fallen asleep during yeah the most recent movie i fell asleep during was the new james bond in the theater yeah that's the most recent movie you've fallen asleep during. Yeah. The most recent movie I fell asleep during was the new James Bond movie. In the theater? Yeah. That's which had never happened before.

I've never done that. It was great. It was very liberating. Well, no, it wasn't great because I woke up and I obviously... Had spent $15 to take a nap. Yeah. And at the end, there's, like, a thing where he goes and he's like, he's like, where are you from?

And the agent's like, from Canada. And there's a whole other plot that happened while I was asleep that I didn't know. So the movie ended and then there was a little tiny denouement. But it was a denouement of a thing that I didn't even know that happened. So if I had just got up at the end of the movie where I thought it ended and walked out, I would have been completely satisfied. You lost me a denouement. It's like

a night. It's like a refractory period. Yeah. Yeah, I saw a movie this week. A movie I've been waiting for since I was all of 12. And that movie is called The Watchman. Nobody knows what that is. That's not true.

I've never heard of this. Okay, well, it's a movie. It's about these guys from Switzerland who make watches. No, it's about a bunch of kids that have to play basketball to win the game, or else they won't get a scholarship and get out of the hood. I don't get it. No, it's a movie about a woman who goes to teach a class of students right uh but she has to teach them history but she's white and they're black

it's a movie about a nun who's not really a nun but it's more of an act yeah Yeah. They call it Nun Act. It's called Nuns on the Run 2. With Lauren Hill. Sister. And I went to a preview or a press. A big shot press screening. Press screening. Graham's now a member

of the press. Why are you a member of the press and not me? I have a very successful podcast yeah you we could easily find very successful um currently in production okay uh we probably could we could actually get on that circuit because there were people there that i think are far less qualified in the realm of do you want to name them uh i don't know their names because they're not that important. Any bloggers? Yeah, I mean, Perez Hilton was there.

Trent from Pink is the New Blog was there. What is that? Is that a thing? Yeah. What is that? It's a celebrity blog. It's this gay guy who loves Jake Gyllenhaal. Is Jake Gyllenhaal gay? No. Oh, Tim.

Oh, Tim. No? He's not at all? Um... What about Maggie Gyllenhaal? What's that about? Yeah, what is that about? A lot of indie cred.

Yeah, I guess. But what does that get you? Peter Sarsgaard. Is she married to Peter Sarsgaard? Uh-huh. Nice. Here's the thing. Who would you rather Wow, you seem like Like satiated

with that? Peter Sarsgaard? Yeah. Like you really have a thing for him. Well, I don't know if it's a thing. I mean, he's a married man. Right. That's true. Who's he married to? Mrs. Sarsgaard. I Terry Garr. Terry Garr. Terry Garr.

Terry Garr Sarsgaard. Hyphenated. Terry Garr Sarsgaard. Oh, geez, Louise. I don't know what the deal is with any of that, but here's one thing I know. Okay. any of that. But here's one thing I know.

Okay. There's three things happened in The Watchmen, besides it being a really enjoyable time, that I enjoyed the film very much. Because it was a straight-up adaptation. It was as if I just re-read the comic book and skipped all the reading stuff and just looked at the pictures. Oh, man.

That's how I... That's why I never got into comic books. What are these bubbles? Yeah, just pictures is kind of your speed. You like flip books, right? Yeah. Yeah, like... Or pop-up books.

Or pop-up video, but without the reading. When you say you've just read a book, you mean that you've just finished flipping through? Like a flip animation book? Like when I go to a bookstore, I will read 10 books. Yeah. As long as they're all of the pop-up or flip variety. Or if I just look at the cover, I count that. Yeah?

You're like, I just read The Joy of Cooking. Yeah. I'm probably good at cooking now because i read it cover to cover because you read the front cover and the back cover yeah well the spine connects the two covers so i count that that's yeah like still joy of cooking and review um hey graham yeah tell me about this movie you made up well it's about superheroes it's's pretty gritty, which I like. But also, the guy, I believe, the guy who played Max Headroom? Matt Frewer?

Not Matt Frewer. What? Who's Matt Frewer? I believe he played Max Headroom. Oh, yeah, that's the guy. He was in it. What did he play? Max.

Really? No. Oh, so the TV station I work at, there's a news guy named Mark Dougherty. Yeah? He's in the movie playing a news guy. Oh, they shot it in Vancouver. Did they shoot it in Vancouver? They must have.

Yeah, that's right. I guess they did. Because they always do that with local news people. And Mark Doherty, but he was in it because it takes place in the past. He had to have like 1970s hairdo. It was the greatest. It was the greatest thing to see a guy that you know wearing a wig in a movie. Have you ever had that before?

Because it's great. No, I've never known anyone in a movie. You have to uh well my when i was a kid my babysitter was russell crowe but it's not the same one from gladiator no no no it's the guy from 30 odd foot of grunt that guy yeah yeah um yeah it was him right yeah matt fruit matt fruer he's canadian and he played uh yeah he played uh moloch in uh in the watchman and he was really good he was really good and uh no it's just nice because he was in it and another guy i know was in it and uh mark docherty is great. Yeah, the big three. A little local touch. Yeah, sure. No?

I mean, every movie shot in Canada has Canadian actors. But this is a good movie. Yeah, okay. When was the last time a good movie was shot in Canada? Fantastic Four 2, Rise of the Silver Surfer. Was that shot here? Yep. Was it good?

No. Okay, here's two questions about that movie why did they make it that's the one answer uh i think because rise of the silver surfer one was so good and let's why is jessica alba in movies why can't she just be in things where i can just see her but not necessarily in a thing where it where I have to see a lot of her? Are you attracted to her as a woman? No, I'm attracted to her as I am a man. Right, but in her womanliness.

But see, this is the thing. I don't think, you know, like a lot of people think she's like the be-all, end-all. And she's not. She is not the Jessica beica be all end all but she's um like she but why does she have what it's the same thing remember when i was asking like why did jessica simpson have to sing this was before jessica simpson let herself go a lot and started to drink her face off or whatever she's doing drink yourinking her face off. I mean drinking pancake batter. You know, like, how come Jessica Alba has to do anything besides makeup commercials or whatever?

And, like, FHM photo spreads. I don't need her as to be an actor in things. She needs to get paid. But here's the thing. Okay, okay a million dollar baby what's her name uh hillary swang hillary swang right she can handle uh the you know a load of acting you know what i mean she she brings her work gloves she brings steel-toed boots, and she handles a load of acting. Yeah, she can do... She carries it on her shoulder like rebar. Yeah, so she can do a lot. She does, like...

So, like, if you have a movie where you need somebody to act, you can just call her up. Yeah, but they need to make... She can't be in every movie. Why not? Because... They got digital effects. They just put her horse face on every every person no no no they can make her look like different you know like the tom hanks in the the polar express

she can have dead eyes yeah yeah yeah and weird teeth that was years ago they got new eye technology now that they can uh yeah exactly are you the one they call beowulf um i don't know i just think well i the yeah you can't have hillary swank in every movie and every movie can't be outlander no that's true but i don't understand why any movie has to have jessica aubin in it uh i think uh she has some appeal. But she's very pretty. Yeah, people will see a movie, they'll be like, oh, I want to go see Hayden Christensen in a coma movie because it's got Jessica Alba in it. Yeah, but see, like, but why? No, no one actually said they wanted to see that.

But, like, the one where she was in the surfing movie and she was in a bikini the whole time. That was a good movie. Yeah, that's an understandable effort. Underwater swimming. Which is the hardest kind of swimming. Above water swimming is the hardest kind. No, they just get you a nice harness.

Yeah, that's true. Now you got me dead to rights. Anyways. DTR. I'm just saying, you know, we've got like a whole stable of actresses, Jodie Foster's and Susan Sarandon's, that are doing nothing while Jessica Alba's... Like that movie that she was in where she was the dancer, Cookie, or whatever it was called. Honey?

Yeah, that's the one. She played Cookie in the movie Honey. Look it up on IMDb. She played the character Cookie in the film Honey. Man. I don't have any problem with... Well, the thing about these starlets is they're not full stars. They're starlets.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like... Just like a toilet isn't a full toy. Yeah, or an omelette isn't a full om. I don't... I just, you know... Okay. All right. We all right we really oh man i'm missing having a guest right now are you i'm not oh it's lonely at the top if you for our listeners if you're ever going to be at the top bring a book or a friend um or make friends with somebody else at the top do you want to uh do you want

to move do you want a segue into to uh to talk about segues sure um the segue was invented in 1992 that's not true by leon segue leon b segue uh do you want to overheard yeah that seems to be uh the raison d'etre modus operandi yeah that is the modus operandi overheard uh we haven't mentioned yet uh someone wrote in saying that they missed uh us telling you what beer we drink oh we're drinking in every episode oh yeah uh i right now i'm drinking a shaftberry easy honey pale ale and i'm drinking a sing sao beer you don't have to put on that chinese accent that's racist is it racist or is it racy well you're doing the thing where you put your fingers by your eyes that's called the miley cyrus but uh graham's

actually drinking a smirnoff ice he just did it in a weird chinese voice in russia ice smirnoff's you. Okay, overheards. I've got a doozity. Okay, you go first. Mine is actually Abby's. Tell the long form that you wouldn't let Abby be the guest tonight because you wanted to steal her overheard. That's the long form, yeah. But this one's very, very good.

All right. I'm listening. Abby was in the bathroom, and she was in a stall in a public bathroom at the Hennessy Sunday service show this Sunday, last Sunday. Yeah. And while she was in the stall, she overheard someone outside the stall say this. See this belt? I got it for 25 cents off a dead guy. What?

So she bought a ghost belt? Yeah. First of all, that's either a great deal or a terrible deal. I think it's a great deal with a curse, but a terrible deal with a plus. But you didn't see the belt. No, did you? No. Did she?

No. But if it's off a dead guy, why do you have to pay anything? Well, here's the thing. Maybe it was some dead guy's ponytail, and that was the whole belt. And that's 25 cents? Well, I don't know. If the guy's dead, that was the whole belt and that's 25 cents well i don't know who's the guy's dead he's no in no position to bargain sure if you had an organ donor card maybe she put a quarter on his eyes oh like uh to pay the river sticks yeah to pay the band sticks at their opening of the casino on the river sticks uh is there a casino on the river sticks there is

now yeah they just got their license it's a riverboat casino because they're not technically the riverboat river sticks casino featuring nightly concerts by sticks and the little river band little river band and sticks and the little river of sticks casino there a band called Casino? No, Nightly Showings at the Movie Casino at the Little River Casino featuring Styx and the Little River Band. Any other things that you want to

add into that? Also, Bob Dylan's The Band is playing every night. So it's The Band, the Little River Band. Styx, The Band on the Little River Styx Casino showing Nightly movie casino anything else also on menu clams casino um hey graham yeah has things i heard in a great overheard last night at the watchman here's the

thing about the watchman uh you always uh you fear going to a movie on uh like a uh an opening night what was this experience like because it was pre-opening night oh it was um the thing is it it actually turned out to be oh here's the thing oh yeah let me dig i'll get to the overheard and say it's i mean it's obviously it there's there's like oh there was like a watchman club there and they were wearing matching someone was clubbing watchman yeah who clubs the watchman so lots of uh there's lots of gag it's lots of there's a lot of dudes. There were also people from the media. And there were a lot of people from my work.

And actually, tomorrow I have to go. Myself and Paul Bay. We're both there. We enjoyed it. And two other guys at the station don't enjoy it. And so we have to go on air tomorrow and debate. Why did they go? because they thought they'd like it and then they didn't like it so they're wrong and i'm right and i'll prove it on live

television tomorrow i i don't think that ever happens to me that i think i'm gonna like something and i don't or i think i'm not gonna like something and i do it happened to me recently with shreddies i thought you're gonna say with shrek with shrek 4 um but yeah there was a lot of there was a lot of there was a lot of the typical like there was a lot of uh you know very excited nerds in the the people in lineup behind me were really obnoxious about the line. Like they kept, you know, like if anybody even stopped to ask, like they'd be in on them,

like there's a line and it was overly obnoxious because everybody that was in line got in. You know what I mean? Like they, I don't think they oversold the thing at all. It wasn't for sale, but they think they had a certain number of tickets

and they gave them out and that was it. But behind me in the theater, there was a couple and i only found out this morning with somebody else like filled me in on what happened but there was a couple and they couldn't sit together and the girlfriend was like trying to get somebody to move so she could sit next to her boyfriend it's just a movie right it's not a flight yeah you can't talk who gives a shit right i'll tell you who gave a shit. Me, because I was trying to watch the fucking movie while this is going on. And then she asks him, well, can I just sit in your lap?

That's not a fucking solution. Yeah, or like a dog or a cat, like something small enough to sit in a lap. So that's not a good solution, even though two girls did it on the bus, sitting in laps next to me the other day that was horribly uncomfortable yeah but you can oh can you imagine having someone on your lap for two and a half hours no so that guy he imagined it and said fucking fuck off no and his girlfriend yeah and then she stormed out and then you could tell he was like, ugh. And so he had to leave. Did he say the F word to her? Yes.

Well, wouldn't you? No. I would. I'd be like, come on. Just be a grown up and watch the movie. She was nowhere near being a grown up. Be a grown up and watch the comic book movie. Yeah. She wasn't interested in being a grown up.

So she F'd off. And then he had to fight. and then they fought in the lobby you could hear them during the quiet part and then uh he came back in by himself and sat in front of me so she went off to uh you know find a guy who's more of a uh uh you know like a conan the barbarian type yeah a guy less a watchman type maybe more of a uh you know franz frisetti a guy a guy with a hefty lap yeah yeah yeah like somebody whose lap could accommodate her needs you know her lap needs aren't being met like a santa claus famous lapman santa claus

uh but my overheard was, oh yes, let's get to this. These two guys. It was the two guys that were the promotion team for the movie. And as I was walking in just before the movie started,

they were talking promotion talk and the one guy said, how did your screening of the Jonas Brothers movie go? And the guy goes, it was below 50% attendance. Can you believe it? Which I thought was pretty great.

Because not only could I believe it, but I was surprised that he couldn't believe the thing that I readily believed. The Jonas Brothers are today's... I like the monkeys. Like a takeoff on a legitimate act?

No, like, I mean, like, I saw them on Barbara Walters, right? Their whole shtick, this is a weird thing. So they're kind of, they're like Hanson, right? Because they're brothers and kind of, like, they're inoffensive and they're some adorable. But their big thing is virginity. Right, promise rings. Offensive and there's some adorable. But their big thing is virginity.

Right. Promise rings. But like, from what I gather, there's like a new style of virginity that's being adhered to by, I believe it's people who are kind of like more fundamental, religious, maybe Christian. that like so you don't have traditional sex but you have like around the back or wait yeah or the jonas brothers say this no no no but this is what's going down in the you know i mean as long as it's not in the uh that would be great if the jonas brothers were like these wholesome like teenage boys yeah we only have anal sex. Yeah, but I think that's the implication with a lot of these kids that are like, with the promise rings and stuff. It's only a promise to not mix genitals.

Are the promise rings cock rings? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they're like... I don't know what that is. They're like those leashes that goths wear and lead around other goths on. Right. Yeah. It's like the ring on the end of that leash.

It's like a choker ring. But yeah, so that's their whole thing, right? Well, their whole thing is writing excellent pop songs, performing excellent pop songs, wearing scarves. Yeah, and vests. Vests vests yeah and virginity dressed yeah and disney films yeah and and appearing in 3d at your local imax yeah and only bringing in less than 50 capacity that's a weird thing though right is that not a weird thing that's virgins the ass not virgins but also astronaut virgin Astronaut virgins? Yeah, astronaut virgins. There's also, I've heard a rumor, I don't know if this is true, but in the religions

in which you are not allowed to drink alcohol, the teenagers at the party who are still adhering to the religions drink... Drink glue? No, cough syrup. There's alcohol in cough syrup, isn't there? No, like it's got codeine in it, which will get you high and kind of like being drunk, but it's far more dangerous, I think, than getting drunk. No?

Probably, yeah. Although I've never heard of somebody crashing their car because of codeine. Well, you're not supposed to drive one or operate heavy machinery like my dick. When did this become such a filth cast? I don't know. We don't have a third member to temper us. Yeah, it's true. Gutter cast.

Do we have any listener overheards? I hope so. We got some listener overheards. Before we do that, just as we're going through the email to check the listener overheards, we got an email from Nick, who writes in, Hey guys, how's it going? I'm a 13-year-old listener, 14 in a couple of days, and I was just wondering if you could send me a shout-out to Des Moines, Iowa. Hey Nick, what's up in Des Moines, Iowa?

Keep it up in Des Moines! Am I right? It's French for Des Moines. Des Moines, Iowa. I think I've been to Iowa. Alright. So, I hope you're happy with that, Nick. I hope you're happy. Yeah, it's his birthday in a couple days. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah, have a happy one. Yeah, bon affet à toi. Look it up. Okay. Listen listener overheards. We got a few written in. We got a great one from a guy. This is an overseen. Brian S. I was in Holiday World,

an amusement park in Santa Claus, Indiana. Let's just pause there for a second. Because that's not a thing. That's two things that don't exist. Santa Claus and Indiana? Santa Claus and Holiday World. Do you think that's a thing?

Well, if there's a place called Santa Claus Indiana, then there is a place called Holiday World. Yeah, if there's a place called Holiday World, that's where it would be. If there's a place called Virginia, that's where it would be it wait if there's a place called virginia then yes there is a santa claus right all right uh when i happened upon this an obese woman wearing an airbrushed t-shirt with the confederate flag on the back and the john deer logo in the center of it on top of the flag it said get her done interpret you're an

anthropologist right that's what you went to school for. I think what this means is to have gotten done. Etc. So do you think that's a... When you were a kid, or maybe now that you're an adult... Did you take three terrible things and put them on one t-shirt?

Yes. Did you ever go to roadside fairs where they had those type of t-shirts where it would be like like a ninja turtle fighting a he-man and on the on the top thing it would say like uh just do it yeah right and they would just take like every pop culture thing and throw it on one tie-dye t-shirt. That feels like what happened here. But it's the worst possible pop culture thing. Confederate flag, hey? There's still people like, that's still a thing. Well, the South won't rise again.

No, no, no, at some point it will. Oh, okay. This is from Evan. Evan K. Evan K. Evan K. Yep. But this is, I work in an office where many boring people work. Today I heard two such people engage in this exchange while walking down the hall.

They are both very average 40 to 50 year old men. Business casual. Guy 1. I rented Good Luck Chuck over the weekend pretty funny movie wait do you like movies guy too nope pretty good evan if you don't like movies good luck chuck is the movie for you yeah if you're only going to see one movie this year it might as well be good luck chuck yeah because you hate movies okay we got a couple uh listener phoned in overheards hey dave and graham love the show i have an overheard to contribute from south korea i was walking with my dog yoshi on a street

with no sidewalk we were staying to the right and this street in particular is very difficult because many cars park on the left side of the road, meaning that it becomes a one-lane street. A car was approaching us, and in front of the car was an elderly Korean woman and her grandson. So as we were walking, the grandson sees my dog, and he flips out. And the grandmother, she decides to protect her grandson by stepping in front and pushing her grandson behind her and to the left. So as she was doing this, she actually pushed her grandson into the side of the car. The kid got clipped by the mirror of the car and had to pinwheel his arm so that he didn't get his toes run over or something. So the car goes by, doesn't stop. The grandmother doesn't say anything to the car, doesn't say anything to the car doesn't say anything to us

but she looks at her son smacks him on the back of the head and says watch where you're going that was pretty funny so thanks bye that's justice yeah um and if you uh he included a picture of his dog and it is uh the fluffiest uh his dog is yoshi yeah. This is the dog that frightened the children or the child. That dog is appropriately named. I would have named it Yoshi, and I've never even met him before. Yeah, if it was a Canadian dog, I would have named it Fluffball. Fluffball or perhaps Corn Puss. Next.

Hello, Graham and Dave. This is Ed calling from Halifax. There's a local coffee shop I like to frequent, and I hear a lot of great overheards there. I'm sitting there working on my computer. There's a group of people, I would say five young people, who are very loud and boisterous and having a very good time with themselves. a very good time with themselves. When this one young fella, who was quite effeminate,

but nonetheless animated, said, Oh my God, I really like that movie, Freaky Friday. Jodie Foster's just great. And a girl said, Jodie Foster?

She's old. She's not in Freaky Friday. And he said back, I'm talking about the original. And she says, Oh, I didn't know there was an original. And then a third girl said, Well, duh.

Almost every movie has an original. Yeah, I like the, wow, that's true. Every movie does have an original. That's our whole modus operandi behind Stuncasting. Yeah, we're big on the modus operandi tonight. What's the plural of modus operandi? Modus octopi. Okay. Okay, we have a new segment.

This is suggested on our Facebook group by a Justin Zed. Justin Zed from Ichita, Anzus. A couple weeks ago, many moons ago, when you were just a young boy and life was great, I held a job as a traveling salesman. Get me moving from state to state. Yep. This, we were talking about something. It was a Pizza Hut ad where they bring in pasta.

Yeah, and everyone's so nonplussed. And I said to Dave, don't get me started on that. And he didn't. No. Which was nice of you to honor my request. Yeah. Well, I'm a man of my word. Justin Z said that we should do a segment where you get me started on something, and

then I rant and rave against it, I guess. Yeah, sure. But also, I could get you started on things. So we wrote down things on a Post-it note and traded them. Yep. Things to get you started on. And you had you started any more things uh there's a lot of things that wind me up a lot of things that butter my bread and peel my potatoes does the don't get me started get a theme song

you can punch me in the belly you can call me retarded but don't get me started! A duet? Yeah, that was pretty good. Yeah. That was almost meatloafian. That was old time rock and roll. From the old times.

Yeah. Am I gonna, are you gonna try and get me started? Alright, I'm not gonna get you started on these topics. These manifold topics that you gave me. Graham? Yes? Hey, what about the West Ender? Alright, the West Ender, for anybody who doesn't know. Dave, don't get me started on this.

Thank you. The West Ender is a weekly free magazine here in Vancouver. News, art, entertainment type magazine. Once a year, they do their best of poll. They put it out to the public. It's your best place to get a coffee. Best place for

a first date kiss. First date this. Best place to... Best local newscaster. Yeah. All kind of fun things like that you fill out the survey but the thing that gets me uh you know really uh boils me over is when people take the time to fill out these things but then it'll say something like best sandwich place of which vancouver has quite a few they actually had to take off best sandwich place because

because so often as dave pointed out that people would vote for Quiznos or Subway, which is fucking ridiculous. Number one and two year after year. They don't need to vote. Yeah. They're not number one and two in Vancouver. No, they're absolutely not. Unless people are voting by amount of locations. And there was another one.

What was the other category? There was another one that was like... Oh, Best Slice? Pizza Slice? Best Pizza Slice. But that was still a local company. There was another one where it was like Best Music Store, of which Vancouver has quite a few that are native to Vancouver. Right.

Best Music Store. HMV, huge multinational. Fuck you. Don't even fill out... If you don't know enough about this city to fill out the survey, don't bother. Don't get me started i feel bad that i got you started hey graham yeah how do you feel about dog leavings oh

dave you know that we had a bad experience with snow this year yeah the rapper yeah 12 inches of it informer um but like a lot of people decided that that was their like ace opportunity just let their dog shit wherever they want and not pick up after what they didn't realize was that snow just preserves the shit yeah so then the snow melted then there was shit everywhere it's kind of most of it is like you know disappeared but if you just the other day it was very close i nearly stepped in some if you can't pick up after your dog you should have your dog license because you actually have a dog license revoked no dog for you you can't drive your dog you can't drive your dog you can't uh you can't fish for more dogs um don't get you don't get me started on that does Is that a matter of course that you have to say, don't get me started?

Yeah, let me ask you something. Do you have to start it and finish it with don't get me started? Yeah, I think so. Dave, how do you feel about restaurants that don't take reservations? Don't get me started. All right. I'm going out on a Saturday night. I like a hot meal.

It's 6 o'clock. I'm just out on a Saturday night. I like a hot meal. It's 6 o'clock. I'm just taking my chances. I go to a restaurant. It's a 20-minute wait. Well, I've tried getting a reservation at this restaurant in the past, and they don't take them. Well, what's going on with that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You just want people to show up and wait 20 minutes? I'm hungry now. And then I'm going to have to sit down after the 20 minutes and wait for my... Wait another 20 minutes? Yeah, yeah. That's ridiculous. At least don't get me started. Graham, why would you bother getting me started?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you started. Have you been to Burgoo? Is it good? Yeah, I had the... What did I have there? Like a real comfort food thing. Oh, I had the macaroni and cheese.

That's what I hear about that place. That's the place I'm talking about. Don't get me started. No, I don't want to get you started. But the two big things people have raved about are the macaroni and cheese. Yeah, yeah, that's what I had. And the grilled cheese sandwich. Yeah, I've heard good things about the grilled cheese i but how can you fuck up a grilled cheese sandwich i know but

why are people raving about it these sound like foods oh well the guy that i was talking to was playing with glow sticks so he that's why he was raving about it but these sound like foods that are only eaten by children so do you do they only offer i haven't seen the menu for food oh it's all comfort a bowl of cereal there's a there's a bowl of cereal there's a peanut butter and jelly yeah there's a soggy uh nacho plate there's uh ants on a log yes there's a fruit roll up there's but you gotta wrap it around your finger yeah there's a yeah uh rice krispy squares hey graham yeah is there a problem with courtesy on the ferries oh don't get me started on bc ferries in the courtesy of uh here's the thing all right i don't understand why people aren't allowed to just stay in their cars because i think a lot

of people would just benefit from oh you're allowed to yeah well why don't they then they don't need to be above deck with the uh there's a lot of i saw an old lady get a door closed on her when she was trying to walk up the steps because somebody was trying to put a line to get to the white spot lineup white spot for anybody who's not from Vancouver, is a restaurant. Take, say, like a Jack in the Box. It's like that level, but they try and present it like it's a higher level of cuisine.

But it's that shitty. But then they put a white mayonnaise sauce on it, and they're like, a triple O sauce, they call it. It's the worst the courtesy on ferries just because you're on sea doesn't mean that the laws of the land do not apply don't get me started dave um there's a in the white spot there's a commercial for white spot they like jack-in-the-box they they're mostly a burger place but they have other uh thai noodles yeah they have like i had them on the weekend because

i was in victoria they're the worst thing i've ever had honest to christ in really the noodles are the they're one of the worst things that i put in my mouth in the commercial uh there's uh the head chef of uh white spot baldo baldo yeah uh and he's talking to uh his uh subordinate White Spot. Baldo. Baldo. Yeah. Baldo McJowell. And he's talking to his subordinate. Alberto Menge. No, no, he's talking to an actual cook there. Oh, yeah. And he says to him, the dialogue is so bad in the commercial.

He says to his underling, the sauce has to be just right. And his subordinate says, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, of course the sauce has to be just right. Everything has to be just right. But there's another bad bit of dialogue in those commercials where Alberto Menga

is in the kitchen. Umberto Menga. Umberto. And he says something, something, and Umberto goes, yes. And then he slips in at the last second. He goes goes we are friends but he's not friends they're acting they're acting in a commercial hey graham what

are your feelings on the chris brown situation oh dave don't get me started on the chris brown chris brown situation with uh rihanna oh it's it's played out, right? We know that there was some alleged abuse that went on. But charges have been laid. Almost certainly more than alleged. Sure, but we don't know what happened. We're not going to get sued. The thing that I don't understand, and if a listener out here that listens to our show, I'm actually making a plea because I've been asking some people about it.

I don't understand it. If somebody has any insight into it, why is it that since this thing happened with the Chris Brown and the alleged abuse, whenever they've asked a high-profile black celebrity in the press to comment, the't see color but it's because you have a black and white tv special order uh whenever asked to comment they seemingly kind of give a boys will be boys kind of thing and i don't think say that tom cruise did the same thing to katie holmes or to rihanna yeah or to rihanna for example i don't uh that i don't understand why are they they're asking specifically people that are in the same entertainment they're in entertainment they're african-american they're asking them

what's your opinion on this because i suppose the opinion is relevant i don't know why it's any more relevant than you know anybody who's ever had a girlfriend or has a daughter or has as you know like you know what i mean like that's a question but it seems like a kind of a lazy press like oh well ask terrence howard because he is also black but and he'll say something outrageous about wet wipes wet wipes yeah he only dates women who use wet wipes oh and also he uh has some abuse in his past on uh record but a lot of people have kind of given the... Like Kanye West and Usher and... Usher actually, he criticized Chris Brown. But then he backpedaled.

He apologized for criticizing him. So what's... And I don't understand because Rihanna is under the wing of Jay-Z. He's the biggest man in entertainment. He's one of the biggest men in entertainment. CEO of the ROC. I don't understand it. Why are people afraid to...

What kind of backing does Chris Brown have that people are... Wrigley's gum. He's got the Wrigley's people. Here's what I don't like about Chris Brown. And I've never liked chris brown for the the following three reasons his constant c doing his cocky smile yeah yeah shit eating grin i'd call it yeah he's uh people uh have said that this is gonna hurt a

squeaky clean image not to me he's always seemed like a a dirt dirtbag because of that cocky smile. Second of all, tattoos before he was 18. It's too young to have tattoos. Oh, really? That's it? Three. He didn't have standards. He stole that dance from Michael Jackson. He called it an homage, but kids today don't know who Michael Jackson is.

Although Michael Jackson just today announced his last tour ever until the next time he needs money to bail himself out of pedophile charges. He seems like he's needed money for a long time. He should just tour. Like, I would go see him if he came here. I wouldn't. I'd go see him if it was in 3D with the Jonas Brothers. But yeah, the Chris Brown, honest to goodness, if anybody out there has some real insight into that, I'd actually like to hear it.

Yeah, if any African-American celebrities are listening. Yeah, Terrence Howard mostly, I'm addressing you, but also Morgan Freeman, frequent listener to the program. He's been listening ever since earlier in the episode where we started talking about March of the Penguins. Or even if Bob Saget has something to say on this. So don't get me started on that. Last thing to not get you started on. Please don't get me started. And I don't know why I've been taking the bait every time in getting you started.

Law and Order guest stars. Dave, don't get me started on this. Last night, I was watching Law and Order, SVU, with Melissa Hargitay, who's in hospital. Mariska Hargitay. She's still in hospital? Today, she was admitted back into hospital.

Oh, with a re-collapsed lung? I don't know, but your identical side double is in trouble. So send her a cart. But she... So SVU, I was watching it last night. The first scene, it's a poker scene, right? So these guys are playing poker.

And then there's a call on the intercom. And it's Fred Savage, right? He's one of the guys from The Wonder Years. Well, he's the guy. Yeah. So don't even bother, SVU. We know if there's a murderer, if there's a famous guy. If there's a famous face on the show.

If all of a sudden Danny Bonaduce is playing a guitar in a shop, he's the guy that raped the girl. We know. I saw an episode a couple weeks ago with Kumar from Harold and Kumar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guess what? He was the guy. Yeah, see? So don't even bother. Dave, I wish you hadn't got me started on that.

Oh, man. It's like we'll never stop. Except we will never. I don't know where to go from here. To me, I'm satisfied. Which is the way that's clear. Still looking for that blue jean baby queen.

I'm full like after a turkey dinner. I'm satiated like a mother effer. You know what? I had a lot of fun. This was great. Next week we're definitely going to have a guest. Episode number 53 is a guaranteed guest-o-rama. Except you mean 54.

Oh, sorry, we are on 53. Yeah, episode 54, where are you? Yeah. Remember that? Yep. So the thing about, okay, yeah, so people, please, we're not doing blokes this week. Yeah, we decided to take a vacation because we've been doing we've been hitting it pretty hard yeah we've been hitting it like a champ and so let's we you know we're gonna take

a break the the last thing we put out there we've gotten quite a few responses so far we're blokes of the written word yeah we've gotten some great suggestions keep them coming keeping in mind they have to be real yeah and not dead yep and uh once we do a category you can stop sending stuff in so stop sending in scientists yeah no we're past it we did it we're over a band of blokes we're done yeah so if you're listening to old podcasts you know get get the thing figure out time and space and how it works uh the movie the net starring cinderella bullock oh man she's a delight she is a delight i saw i watched practical magic with my mom over the week.

Oh, man. That was like Hope Floats for our generation. Who was Kathy Najimy in that? I just know it was Nicole Kidman. And at one point, my mom thought that it was Meg Ryan. And then my mom said Nicole Kidman should really look deep in her soul because she looks so much like Meg Ryan in this movie. I don't know.

We had a lot of fun. We should get your mom to do movie reviews. Yeah, we could do, actually. I'm trying to think within the mind of my mom and what she would say. She actually likes movies. She actually gives pretty cohesive reviews. All right, she's out. When I saw Watchmen, though we figured out uh what my dad

alicia tobin and i saw my dad alicia said i know what your dad's movie review would be from it uh but it would it makes no sense because i'm i've only for anybody who's seen it my dad's movie review would be uh it's a guy with a big blue penis it's pretty good if that's not incentive to see the movie I'm not sure what is it's pretty good the movie's great I'm learning so much

the big blue penis they should call it the big blue penis cake so yeah continue to send in your literary blokes see if we care. Um, also if you do, if you really, if you have any kind of insight into the whole Chris, Chris Brown celebrity endorsement of his bad behavior, I'm very interested. I'm, I'm actually would like to hear it.

And it would be nice if, uh, you weren't as racist as Graham. Uh, yeah, it would be nice if the world weren't as racist as graham uh yeah it would be nice if the world wasn't as racist as i am but i don't think i don't see that happening yeah uh graham's uh wearing a confederate flag kilt tonight and a confederate flag uh toque that's paint it's pointed like a kkk yeah but it would would have been so much cheaper to just do all white, but you went Confederate. You know what? I'm a purist. Yep.

And when I say that, I mean pure white bloods. But yeah, if you want to call, we appreciate it. We got a couple calls this week, and we enjoyed them very much. Our bumper line is 206-339-8328. And every week I lovingly put together a recap blog. And that's available at stoppodcastingyourself.blogspot.com. And you can write us with your overheard suggestions and Chris Brown explanations at StopPodcastingYourself

at gmail.com We also have a Facebook page, StopPodcastingYourself. We are going to amalgamate all this under a website very, very soon. But in the meantime, if you enjoyed the show, please do pass it along to your friends.

It's been a pleasure for us to be here we hope you've enjoyed listening and come back next week for another thrilling edition of stop podcasting yourself Thank you.