Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 532 - Allie Entwistle

Episode Date: May 28, 2018

Improviser Allie Entwistle joins us to talk beach snakes, fashion rules, and street jokes.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 532 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who I will be appearing live with in Ottawa and Toronto. Ottawa, June 28th. Toronto, June 30th. Live and in person. There's nothing in between. We need someone to someone to drive us in between on the 29th. If you want tickets to these shows, Ottawa and Toronto,

then head over to StopPodcastingYourself.com. Hopefully there's still tickets available. We don't know. This is all out of our hands. People say, you gotta see us live. You gotta. You really do. But yeah, on this episode We'll put a link

To where you can buy tickets On episode 532 At stoppodcastingyourself.com Promo And our guest today First time guest to the podcast Very funny comedian She'll be performing as part of a sketch duo, a brunch, at Little Mountain on June 29th.

It's Allie and Whistle. That's me. Hello. Hi. Hi. Thank you for coming down and being on the show. So excited. Just hit myself in the tooth with a metal straw.

Okay, let's talk about it. I just hit myself in the tooth with a metal straw. Okay, let's talk about it. So before the show, sometimes on the show we have coffee. Sure. And today it's a nice sunny day outside and I have this cold brew coffee in my fridge. So I offered it to Graham and Allie. And I really, it's the worst possible.

Sound wise. Yeah, because, you know, plastic straws are killing the environment. Yeah. So I have these metal straws and jangle your glass there for me. Oh no. Yeah, listen to it. Get right up in there.

Yeah, no, it's going to be Ooh, Santa's on his way. Yeah, it's really kind of too excited. They're nice and gold. Yeah, they, it's going to be. Oh, Santa's on his way. Yeah, it's really kind of. Too excited. They're nice and gold. Yeah, they are gold. They're very nice. And I thought, oh, this will be nice, like fun cookie cocktail straws that I can have.

And then I, you know, we give them to the kids and they just chew them. Yeah. Well, it's, I don't know. I feel like it was a thing that I authentically did not know was happening. That the straw, that straws all of a sudden just went out. Yeah, they're done. They're done. They're done.

And if you have one, you're bad. Yeah. It's very quick. But it was, it was, it felt like it was overnight because I went to a show and they gave me a drink without a straw. And I was like, huh. Well, that's a weird. And they're going to ban them. Yeah.

But like it's been 15 years of plastic bags slowly being phased out at grocery stores. Like, do you have your own bags? No. Okay. Well, it's five cents a bag if you want. Is it going to be like that with straws? I don't know. I'll do it.

What are they going to do for milkshakes? This is true. Metal ones. You know? McDonald's? Oh, yeah. It's hard. I don't know.

What about Dairy Queen spoons? They can't be good for sharks. No. Sharks got a belly full of Dairy Queen spoons. No, it's bad. Oh, boy. Do you want to get to know us? Oh, absolutely.

Ooh. Get to know us. Allie, this is your you want to get to know us? Oh, absolutely. Ooh. Get to know us. Allie, this is your first time to the show. Yes. What's that like? Oh, my gosh. Just a joy. Big microphone, just nothing but time.

Yeah. I'm just going to talk into it. Until you're blue in the face. You're doing great. You're doing great. Oh, thank you. Bring us up to speed. Tell us a bit about yourself well first time okay so that's so much speed to bring you up to um oh what is happening with me i live in vancouver are you from here no i'm from colona

oh what's that like ah well uh every time i say i'm from colona i get a really different reaction depending on the person's personal experience with Kelowna. Okay, so my reaction would be, you jet ski? Yeah. Where's your neck tattoo would be my reaction. My jet ski neck tattoo. I got it covered up. It was a bad decision.

Who's playing Wakefest this year? I Mother Earth? They had to cancel Wakefest. Why? Because, I don't know, I think they probably trashed everything. And then they rebranded it as the same thing, but it's called Center of Gravity. What is Wakefest? I've known it as a real meathead summer party.

Yeah. Well, it's two things. First off, it was supposed to be like a wakeboarding competition, I think. But what it really was was a place to buy a ticket so you could underage drink in Kelowna City Park. Okay. Nice. I never went because I was too cool for that. You were too cool for teenage drinking or too cool for the festival?

I mean, probably I wasn't cool enough for either is the real answer. But at the time, I would have told you it was too cool. Yeah. For the listeners out there, Kelowna, how would you best describe it? Don't look at me. I think Katie Ellen Humphrey's past guest described it as if Blink-182 designed a town. Yeah. That's valid.

Yeah. Yeah. Like Maine, Ed Hardy breeding point. Yeah. The Maine, Ed Hardy breeding point. Yeah, the Maine, Ed Hardy breeding grounds. Sunny, but you'll probably see someone bring their snake to the beach. What? I've seen that. I've definitely seen, yeah.

Oh, I don't. How big a snake? Like an arm, arm length. Uh-huh. Arm length. You want to keep that about an arm's length. Yeah. What?

And was it on a leash? No. In, like, a cat carrier? No, just loose. Just a loose snake at the beach. Loose snake. Well, like, how good was it to recall? Yeah. Come here, snake.

Here, snake. Here, slithers. Yeah, it was, it was a lot. It was a lot. It was going in the water. I don't know. Oh, really? Yeah, that's worse. Oh, gross. Was it on a little boogie board? It was a lot. It was going in the water. I don't know.

Was it on a little boogie board? It was snake surfing. It was longboarding? Wakefest? Snakefest? Oh boy. There is a marketing thing we could have had. So on the flip side, a lot of wineries and old people. Is it flooded right now? I think so. So on the flip side A lot of wineries And you know Old people Yeah And

Is it flooded right now? I think so I don't know You don't keep touch Not up to date No Fair enough You still have family there?

I do My parents live there But they're above water They're above water Yeah they live on a big mountain So they're If they're flooding Then we're all dead

Oh they live on a big mountain Well I think they're like this then Oh Oh who's that coming around? Oh Oh Oh If they're flooding, then we're all dead. Oh, they live on a big mountain? Well, I think they're like this sand. Oh. Oh, who's that coming around? Oh. That's a giant snake. And so when did you decide to move to Vancouver? I moved here to go to UBC.

Okay. Big school we have here in Vancouver. I don't know if you've heard of it. And then I never left. Yeah. Yeah, but I love it here. It's great. And what did you do? Oh, so you're not being kept here. I don't know if you've heard of it. And then I never left. Yeah. Yeah, but I love it here. It's great. And what did you do?

Oh, so you're not being kept here. No, I'm willingly here. Oh, good. I'm loving it. What did you do at UBC? I studied linguistics. Really? Yes, I did.

Name five words. Bear. Tree. Fart. Carrot. Snack. All right. She checks out.

Yeah. I just didn't want her to be one of these fake linguistic girls. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Why linguistics? Right? Oh, why?

Well, I started, I wanted to be going to speech pathology when I was 18, because apparently that's when you have to choose what you want to do for your whole life. Yeah. That's why I was never drafted into the NHL. Yeah. Yeah.

I never went to the moon. So there you go. But it was because I didn't have a big enough bladder. You have to be able to hold it for a long time. For like the whole time

you're on the moon, right? They don't know what to pee at there yet. Yeah, you can't pee. Well, that's why they give them Tang. Yeah. They just't know what to pee at there yet. Yeah, you can't pee on the moon. Well, that's why they give them Tang. Yeah, they just eat their orange juice.

Eat the Tang. Yeah. Those astronauts eat a lot of Tang, eh? The first person who gets to pee on the moon, that'll be a real,

that'll be a really big, that'll be the next big thing. One big pee for man. One big pee for man. One big P for mankind. Okay, guys, let's get serious. Linguistics. Ugh, right? Did you finish it?

Did you get a degree in linguistics? I did. I did like a whole Shabatsky on it. Shabatsky? I mean, that's probably a linguistics term. I'll take your word for it. Yeah, I'll say. Yeah, I did like an honors thesis, and I really doubled down on that.

Wow. Yeah, studied. And is that why your sketch duo is called, it's a duo, right? Yeah. Brunch? Mm-hmm. Because this is like, it's words, man. Yeah, I was like, wow, you add two words together to get this other word. And that's me.

That's fun. Did your sketch partner know about brunch before you introduced the word? Her name's Carrie I introduced her to lunch and breakfast and then also brunch All at the same time? Honestly, I'm the brains behind the operation Now, why, and then you got out of school and you were like, no, no speech pathology Yeah, well, halfway through school, I.

No speaking. No speech pathology. No, no. Well, okay, the real reason I decided not to do speech pathology is there was a bunch of classes with a bunch of, like, people who were going to go into it. And they were all so weird. Like, weird. They're pathological. Like, yeah, there was like a, yeah, there was a, we had a speaker come in who like couldn't, he'd been in a motorcycle accident and he had like a certain kind of aphasia where he couldn't speak, but he was like giving us this presentation.

It was amazing, the presentation. But everyone in this class was asking him like deeply personal questions. him like deeply personal questions like someone asked him if he believed in god and if his family like what supported him through his motor circle accident and i was like why are you all like this i have uh one quick question yeah i was like what can you make a motorcycle sound yeah if i make a motorcycle sound we will be, you know, because of PTSD in you. So these people were just so weird that you were like... I was like, I can't do this. Yeah, and then I got really into just very, I don't know, theoretical nerdy linguistics. And then I got into comedy.

Give me an example of theoretical nerdy linguistics. So, like my whole... First of all, give me an example of regular linguistics. Okay. Well, I guess it's all lame. So it's like the study of language. So it's like you... I don't learn...

I didn't learn languages. You like take language as like your data and then you study it. Right. It's a real... It's a real cool thing to do. What's a diphthong?

Oh, yeah. That's like two vowels put together. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Like what? Like, like, like two vowels put together. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Like what? Like, like, like, ow.

Ow. Like, it's like your mouth changes shape halfway through. Oh. This is going to be scintillating listening. No, this is good. Is it good? Okay, is everyone learning? You're going to be a real linguist listening.

This is like, you know, one of my favorite comedians, Michael Richards, he likes to talk about how there's these words. And so what are your thoughts? Words. Well, do you remember when he made his apology on Letterman and Seinfeld kept telling the audience not to laugh during the apology? Oh, no. Because you're seeing Kramer being sincere yeah yeah yeah and it was so and it was very funny i mean oh what a weird thing to have how do you come back from that uh he didn't yeah that's true yeah

i think he he uh he you know he gets a syndication check every six months and buys another Harley. I don't know what interests this guy. Another Harley. So what's a nerdy linguist? Right. So basically, my whole honors thesis was on one uh speed uh like sound pattern in a language like a dead language in papa new guinea that was like was only ever spoken by this is the worst yeah yeah no i was really hard for me i wanna i wanna hear about this yeah so it was like the difference between it's like

it's like the same sound pattern as what happens when when Sally sells seashells by the seashore is hard to say. Because it says turn into shiz. Says turn into shiz. And that was something that happened in Papua New Guinea a long time ago. So long ago. And girls become mothers who turn into lovers. Wait, no, that's the other way. What are the other ones of that

there's she said i'm a bitch i'm a lover yeah i'm a mother what do i what songs do i hear while waiting for my prescription to be sixpence none the richer that's hard to say that's hard yeah yeah. Oh, that's hard. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it's weird. It's weird when you go into a thing. Because I remember when I first wanted to do stand-up as a teenager. And then I went to a bunch of open mic nights. And all the people that were there were like real weirdos. And I was like, oh, I don't know about this.

You're like, oh, this doesn't feel like me. Yeah. I'm cool. So the lesson is just try and be cool, everybody, because you don't know. You might be dissuading somebody from a whole career path. Yeah. I mean, follow your bliss, but also don't just remember, don't be blissful in public. And don't bring your snake to the beach because you might dissuade other people from going to the beach.

Yeah. I mean, it doesn't even take it. The fact that there might be somebody at the beach with a snake only makes the beach worse to me. Yeah. Is it a sand beach or a rock beach? Oh, sand beach. Yeah. You can make all sorts of cool shapes.

That's true. Yeah. Are you a beach person? Oh, I love the beach. Really? Good beach. Yeah. Um, yeah.

Are you a beach person? Oh, I love the beach. Really? Good beach. Yeah. Cause I don't think Dave, Dave and I are both aware. We're firmly in the non beach. No, that's true.

Yeah. Although with your kids, do you have to, do you have to bend that rule and end up at the beach? Of course. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I, it's been, um, the last few days have been so sunny. Yeah. It's like, it's suddenly summer. Um, which is a song from a little shop of horrors. have been so sunny. Yeah. It's like, it's suddenly summer, um,

which is a song from, uh, Little Shop of Horrors. Uh, and it's, uh, like we've had, you know, a week of spring and then it suddenly became summer.

And it's just like, cause I'm anti, uh, sunscreen. I don't believe in it. I won't wear it. If I am taking off my shirt and I'm going to be outside a long time, I'll do it. I don't believe in it. All right. I won't wear it. If I am taking off my shirt and I'm going to be outside a long time, I'll do it. But like, if I'm just like, I'm going to be sitting in a park.

Right. You don't grease up? No, I'd rather get a sunburn. It's honestly, I'd rather get a sunburn a thousand times. But I don't make my kids adhere to this rule. So if we're just going to the park or whatever. Yeah. Just going outside in the backyard to grease them up.

Yeah. And everything sticks to. Oh yeah. Like with kids, especially it's just like, we don't even, we haven't been to the beach, but grass,

bugs, rocks. Yeah. Sand. It's mostly sand. These dust storms have been going around and the kids was are like, Pigpen in Peanuts comics. Yeah. Pigpen wasn't necessarily a dirty kid.

He just might have been wearing sunscreen. Oh, that's an interesting theory. Thank you. Yeah. But you like the beach. I like the beach. Yeah. Yeah.

Like during the summer, what are we, once a week down at the beach? Oh, that's a good question. I don't know. Like, sure. Yeah, I'll say sure. Why not? Yeah. Like during the summer, what are we once a week down at the beach? Oh, that's a good question. I don't know. Like, sure. Yeah, I'll say sure. Why not? Yeah. I'll tell you why not.

The crowd. Yeah. The grossness of sitting in the sun with no protection. I get that. What about the Leonardo DiCaprio movie, The Beach? I have seen that. I don't watch that once a week. Right.

I don't have time. No, that's true. Yeah. What takes up your time during a week. I don't have time. No, that's true. What takes up your time during the week? Who knows? Where does it go? Don't you think Tilda Swinton's so good in it? Oh, man. I can't remember a lot from it. That might be a once in a lifetime

movie for me. Oh, boy. Might have to go twice. I haven't seen it at all. I know the poster. Remember the poster. But it has the beautiful Virginie Le Doyer. Oh, what's that? Is that a. She's a French lady.

And maybe want to never go traveling in Thailand. Is it Thailand? Yeah. Yeah. That beach is now like a dump. Oh, great. Like the tourists have. That's why we don't use our straws.

Yes, exactly. Tourists all brought straws there. Yeah, and they put them on the beach. And they. Oh, so people went to the beach from the beach and ruined the beach. Of course. Classic. Yeah, I

that's a once in a lifetime movie. I was thinking about that the other night like, because I watched Basic Instinct because we were talking about it a couple weeks ago and it was on this. Because you wanted to feel nostalgic and horny. Well, I had only seen pieces of it

and I was like, am I going to watch this whole movie? And I did. And I feel like it's weird that I've seen it twice now in my life. I feel like that's a one-time viewing. I don't think I've seen it from start to finish. I've never seen it. There you go. This could be another once-in-a-lifetime movie for you.

You want to watch it with me? Yeah, sure. There's three times in a lifetime. Yeah, watch it three times. I'm like the gateway to basic instinct for everybody. B.Y.O. Ice Pick. It's like a big thing, like the Rocky Horror Picture Show. When she pulls out the ice pick, everybody starts chipping.

That's the craziest thing in that movie is that everybody chips ice like nobody has an ice cube tray. Really? I know she does because that's like

the murder weapon but she's just like I also just you know it's the perfect way to get ice into my drink. That's how she planned it.

First she planned the murder weapon and then she planned the way she'd get ice for her whole life. Because it's like oh this guy was killed with an ice pick oh well then it could be anyone. We all have ice picks. That is what it's like in that movie.

There's this scene. She uses one. He uses one. And also I don't know where you just get a bag of chunk of ice. I don't know. Would you just like like, fill up a plastic bag with water and throw it in your fridge? Is it from, like, old-timey times when people had ice boxes that, like, someone would deliver a big cube?

Like a block of ice. Yeah. Yeah. But it's not set in those times. It's set in the 90s. The 90s San Franciscoers. It was whimsical for an earlier time. Yeah, it was like... Anyways, it's weird that I've seen that movie twice, possibly three times.

It would be weird if it was based on like an old timey novel that we just updated. So we took, you know, one of the biggest devices in this novel was that everyone had ice picks and no one wore underwear. was that everyone had ice picks. Yeah. And no one wore underwear. Yeah, it's like, I just feel weird that I've seen it and now I feel like I'm an expert on it. Yeah.

And probably we'll see it again. Yeah, there you go. So what do you do? You have a day job? I do. I actually work with kids. Really? I do.

What do you do? I work with those sticky sunscreen kids. Oh, gross. What do you do? You have a day job? I do. I actually work with kids. Really? I do. What do you do? I work with those sticky sunscreen kids. Oh, gross. What do I do? I work in after school care. And then I also am a teacher slash tutor at an alternative school. Cool. Yeah.

Nirvana. Teaching the youth of tomorrow. So like what makes it alternative? Oh, yeah, that's true. Because it's like pretty alt Like only like cool Indie kids get to come Flannel shirt

Oh cool A lot of flannel A lot of east fan shirts Yeah yeah yeah The hip No it's kids that Like the normal school system Isn't for them

So they're coming there For other reasons. My school had an alternative program. Did yours? No. You fell in line or you fell out of line. Ah, yeah. Yeah.

And there was no reward. Like, hey, you don't fall into our system. We're going to send you to a cool alt school. So alt. And you're going to learn there. It was just like, you're just bad at school. And you should going to learn there. It was just like, you're just bad at school. And you should feel bad. Yeah, you're bad at school and you should feel bad about yourself.

And, you know, I think a lot of kids to this day, they all became failures. Yeah, that's a real problem. Yeah. For years, people. Did your school have an alternative program? I don't know. It was like really smart. So, just kidding. I mean, an alternative program? I don't know. It was, like, really smart. So, just kidding.

I mean, technically, it's not about smartness. It's about learning in a different way. I should have said that. I'm the teacher. Oh, God. Like, maybe? I don't know, actually. How old are these kids?

I work, the after-school kids are, like, elementary. So, like, five to 13. And then my other kids are like 10 to 15. Do you get along with kids? I guess you have to. They're great. I think kids are just the weirdest people. Is it true they're our future?

You know what? I don't know. I think they might be. That's true. I remember when Houston was kind of noncommittal. And what apps do they like? Oh, my God. What apps are they using?

Minecraft is dead. Don't even think about it. If you dab nowadays, you're done. Okay. Dabbing's out. I just taught my Minecraft character how to dab. Do they all do the flossing dance? Yeah, but it's also like as soon as you learn one meme,

like by the time I learn a meme, it's done. Like just don't even think about saying it because it's over. Learn a meme. Yes, I'm like, oh. My name's Allie Learn-a-Meme. Trying to learn all the memes. What is the hottest meme as of this day? Oh, God, what is the hottest meme right now?

I mean. That's a great question. There's like one that I like. I was like, this is a very lazy meme. Oh, God. What is the hottest meme right now? I mean, that's a great question. There's like one that I like. I was like, this is a very lazy meme. Yeah, what do you mean? With a,

it's a, like a, a guy with a butterfly in the air. Yeah, and his hands all over him. His hands like, he's holding out a hand.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like you, a thing, and another thing. Yeah. And I was like, well, that could be any picture. Yeah.

This is very lazy. Come on. So the guy checking out the other girl holding hands with one girl and checking out another girl, that's out? That must be out.

Yeah, I think it's still, it'll stay in the rotation forever, just like the Minions with all of it. So maybe it's like a classic. I don't think so. I think people are just using it past its prime.

I can't figure it out, guys. And how do kids talk about memes? How do you? Well, it depends how old, if they're young, they're like so into them, but if they're a little bit older, they're like, yeah, whatever. Memes are lame. But they love them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have a strong nostalgia for

two years ago. For their memes of their youth. Yeah. Yeah. It's, yeah, it's... Wow. It's a real culture. Yeah. We're all falling behind. You. Wow. It's a real culture. Yeah. We're all falling behind. You're going to be our new youth correspondent.

Yeah. I'm like, I'm, I'm worried that people are falling so far behind. They don't know how far behind they are. Right. You know. I feel like I'm pretty far behind. Yeah. I bet.

I like, I saw a meme that was a meme that took, you had to know three or four different things just to get this one meme. Yeah. And I was like. Oh yeah, this is just scratching the surface. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It goes so much deeper than everything. I recently saw this Swedish movie about Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe.

Is that popular with kids? The kids are eating that shit up. They will not stop talking about it. I can't believe. Charlie LeBeouf is in it. They like that? Yeah, they love LeBeouf. Yeah, okay, good.

He is still hot with the kids. I'm glad I'm plugged in. I can't believe that LeBuff is in it. They like that? I didn't even, yeah, they love LeBuff. Yeah, okay, good. He is still hot with the kids. I'm glad I'm plugged in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I had to talk to one of my kids because he was trying to draw, he's younger and he's trying to draw like a Pepe the Frog thing, which as you may or may not know, was, you know, co-opted by the All Right. Oh, okay. Yeah, All Right.

Oh, yeah. So it's a bit of a no-no. Maybe it was my friends are All Right. Uh-oh. Yeah, I noticed your shirt. Oh, okay. Yeah, all right. So it's a bit of a no-no. Maybe with my friends are all right. Uh-oh. Yeah, I noticed your shirt. Richie Spencer. So I went, I didn't go to an alternative school. I went to an all right school.

Oh, no. Yeah, that was my thing. That's a bad one. So what did you tell this unfortunate kid? Well, I was like, you know, that's racist. So we can't use it anymore because it was stolen from us. And now it's racist. And he was like, okay, paper, they probably guess was stolen from us.

I didn't say that. But anyway, stolen from us. Well, I was my daughter drew a rainbow and I was like, well, actually, that's gay. Yeah, that was stolen from us. That's a gay thing now. Oh, my God. But yeah, I was explaining it to him. And then he was like, because I was like, well, you know, it's like, like, I know you don't believe in Donald Trump's politics.

And he's like, no. And I was like, okay, so you don't want to be doing these. And then he was like, well, what about this meme I saw with, it was Pepe the Frog wearing a Make America Pepe Again hat while he was spitting on a picture of Donald Trump. Oh. And I was like, I don't know what to tell you, buddy. No one knows. I can't.

The kid was like, well, actually, I hear there's bad on both sides. There's bad people on both sides of this argument. Like, oh, don't. I don't know. Where do we begin? Oh yeah yeah i uh did i tell you about the one the meme that i that i you haven't told me about a meme it's true that it was a picture of yoda dabbing nice and he has just just signed something into law because all these lawmakers are standing around applauding him. And the law is pee is stored in the balls.

And that was the meme. I was like, oh, boy, there's so much to unpack here. Who knows? So many questions. That's why they can be in space because they have more room. They don't have to pee. That's right. Star Wars.

Right? This other meme, the other meme, this is coming out in a week and a half. This meme is so over. Oh. Yeah. Is the Laurel and Yanni. I know. Is there a linguistic explanation for this?

Yeah, that is like a linguistic thing. I haven't really looked into it yet. But I think it's, yeah, it is like a linguistic thing. I think it's because ya and la are both really like weird sounds in your mouth. Right. Yeah. They have similarities. Ya, la.

Yolo. Yolo. Look, I just invented something. But I heard, wait, what did I hear? I heard like Yanner or Larry. No, I heard Larry. You heard a third thing. I heard Larry.

Third thing. Yes. Oh boy. So I gave up right away. That is like, because seeing the dress that people saw as two different colors. Yeah. I get. But like, not be like when someone says they heard a different version than what you heard,

you feel like you're crazy or they're lying. I think that they're lying. Yeah. I feel like they're lying. You heard Larry. I heard Larry and I couldn't hear anything else. I heard Yanny. I heard Laurel.

Did you really? Yeah. Did you really? Yeah. Weird. And Abby showed it to me like sitting right next to me and she was like, it's Yanny. And like we said it at the same time, but opposite. Wow.

Cause they, I watched one where they pitched it up and they pitched it down and it sounded like Yanny, no matter what they did. So I, yeah. Well, I saw one where they pitched it down and it was like,

Oh yeah. That's a good one. Pretty good. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, boy. This summer's hitting us hard. Oh, boy. How are you dealing with it?

Is it killing you already? You're wearing denim. I'm wearing denim today because it was, I turned off all the heat in my place, and now my place is really cold. And so I was wearing pants, and then I was like, oh, time to go. I didn't have time. But I'm also going somewhere after this, and I didn't want to make it a night of shorts.

Yeah. I mean, but there are non-denim pants is my point. Oh, like a cotton, a breezy cotton. That's all. I've retired the denim for the year, except the shirt, obviously. Here's my problem with the convention, and maybe you'll be able to shed some light on this. The cotton pants, the pockets puke out at the side. That's because your pants don't fit. Yeah, but what do I have to wear a way bigger size? Tell me what I'm doing wrong.

I guess, I don't know if it's a bigger size, it's just a different cut. Different cut, maybe, yeah. I know they say pleats are back in, but I don't know if it's a bigger size. It's just a different cut. Different cut. Yeah. I don't know if that fit. Like, I know they say pleats are back in, but I don't believe it. I'm not going to be the guy to, like, make the argument. I think pleats are back in for, like, cool fashion guys. Yeah, you could wear a pleat. A pleat? Oh, I don't know.

I mean. I don't know. The rules are different for women. But you could wear A pleated pant I feel like And I would be like Check Check out that

Fashion Yeah check out that Bleak bleak gal What are the Fashion rules That you adhere to You know I try to only wear

Ed Hardy at the beach Excellent Do you wear white After Labor Day Yeah I wear white All the time I wear a nice Mink white coat in the winter.

No, I don't. Do you match your shoes to your belt? No, I've never done that. When I'm dressing up, I guess I would. Yeah. Like if I was wearing a suit. I guess all the rules really apply to wearing a suit. Yeah.

My dad always wanted me to tuck in my shirt, regardless of the shirt. So that was his big rule. That's sweet. Like T-shirt or whatever shirt. Dads do do that. Yeah. My dad does that around the house. Like, I'll have a casual jean on and tuck just a casual tee into it.

Yeah, yeah. That's my dad's perfect world. Yeah. It's a tucked in shirt into a jean. Perfect. It doesn't matter if it's a Dan Hardy shirt. If it's tucked in, it's fancy. Yeah. But I think there was an era change where everybody was tucked.

And then my generation came along and we were all untucked all the time. I mean, the same goes for circumcision. I think it's a generational thing. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Same. Same. Yeah, yeah.

Same. Like, uh. Yeah, no, we're not. How are you coping with the summer? It's like we're getting ready to move in a few months. Mm-hmm. And so we're starting to throw things away and like make try to make sure the house is clean and now that everything is indoor outdoor like the kids play outside right we have a door a back door open all the time it's just a nightmare like the outside

is always getting brought back inside yeah yeah yeah i'm yeah, yeah. I'm not coping at all. I'm under a... You're under duress. Yeah, I'm stressed all the time. I'm never not cleaning my house. Yeah. Yeah. The, I guess I get that way in the fall because I feel like there's all, there's just stuff on the ground that just blows into your house, follows me into the house somehow.

Yeah. I don't know do you feel like that's a Vancouver thing or maybe like I've heard the who's the woman that's on Portlandia Carrie Brownstein yeah she said like when you live in the Pacific Northwest

that just stuff gets tracked into the house yeah and there's places like if you watch TV you're like why are these characters leaving their shoes on in the house they Yeah. And there's places like, if you watch TV, you're like, why are these characters leaving their shoes on in the house? They do that in America,

apparently. Well, they do. I think it's a climate thing. Allegedly. Like if it's, I don't think they would do it. Or like, I've heard that they do.

It might be a different thing of like, if you are living in a place like an apartment building, your shoes get cleaned by the time you get to your front door. Ah, that's true. With the carpet. Or if you are living in a place like an apartment building, your shoes get cleaned by the time you get to your front door. Ah, that's true. With the carpet. Or if you're living in somewhere that's dry,

like in the summer, I don't really take my shoes off inside. Hmm. Do you use shoes on, shoes off? I usually wear those dainty little socks underneath. So that's why I refuse to take off my shoes because it looks like I'm wearing a ballet flat. Yeah, I was, I feel like also because I grew up in Calgary and there was always like, there

was snow for a big chunk of the year. Then there was slush. Then there was like mud. Yeah. Then there was like salt and gravel that had been left behind. Snakes, summer snakes. Beach snakes. The snakes of summer.

Yeah, so I just felt like we were forbidden from wearing shoes in the house. It was like you even had a mud like area. Yeah, a mud room. Mud room. Yeah. You have mud rooms in Kelowna? I don't know. I don't know if we had a mud room.. Yeah. A mud room. Mud room. Mud room. Yeah. Yes. You have mud rooms in Kelowna? I don't know. I don't know if it's a lot of mud room.

We had an entrance way. I think that's what we called it. But yeah, it's like, I feel like Kelowna weather is actually kind of similar to Calgary in some ways. It's not. I don't know why I said that. It doesn't, well, it does snow. Yeah.

It doesn't, it snows in the winter. It's very dry in the summer, but. Santa. He's coming No she isn't Let's go back to the snake at the beach What if it became a common thing I know It's horrifying

Would snakes run into each other Sure Would there be snake fights Probably They would get Twisted together Like you know When you put a bunch of cables

In a box together Your buds Trying to get put a bunch of cables in a box together earbuds trying to get your snake out of the wow just at the snake park instead of the dog park yeah

oh I just pictured it in my mind people all standing around a fence watching their snakes twist together watching their snakes poop

oh boy mine just ate a half pig this morning Half a pig? Oh I don't think Where's the other half? Big anaconda, you know You bring your anaconda to the park?

Sure Oh boy Eat all the other snakes He's tired of being in my bachelor apartment Oh no Oh boy Oh yikes Oh, no. Oh, boy. Oh, yikes. Oh, someone's drunk with my snake.

He won't rehinge his unhinged jaw. Maybe he's just, his mouth is agape because he's looking at a hot lady snake. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah, that's for me. I'm fighting the sun. I'm mad at the sun. Yeah, yeah.

But you like the sun. I like the sun. I'm mad at the sun. Yeah. Yeah. But you like the sun. I like the sun. I do find it like, I think like in Vancouver, because I bus mostly, I do see the inconveniences of summer more, like sweating. Sweating, yeah. It's very hot when you're walking everywhere and taking the bus everywhere. Yeah. And do you find, because here's something that I've noticed in the past, in the hot days, and I don't know if it has any correlation to the heat, more

older men spitting. Which I don't see when it's raining. I don't see a lot of people spitting. They got a drier mouth, they got to spit out their spit? I don't know. I don't know. Wouldn't you be like conserving? Yeah. Yeah, rehydrate. Yeah, your

human fluid. If you're spitting on the street, you probably need to get yourself a water bottle. And just like. Spit into your water bottle? No, just like, I don't know, like hydrate yourself so your spit's less like. Like, why are you spitting on the street? Why are you ever spitting? Yeah.

Well, I chew tobacco. Okay, I mean, that makes sense. I got a little bit packed in here. You got spit, he's out. But you do I got a little bit packed in here. You got spitsies out. But you do it and it hits the spittoon. Well, and I carry an empty can of... I still see that. Oh, man.

I was just thinking because, you know, there's so many people that collect cans. I'm not like to have a collection. No. Classic. I had a weird interaction with a can collector. The predominant demographic of the can collectors in my neighborhood are old Asian ladies. Okay. Not, you know, homeless people.

Right. But like people who, this seems to be their. This is their gig. Yeah. This is their, they have a route they do. They know when every neighborhood, maybe it's just my neighborhood, but maybe they go through when every neighborhood has their garbage night. Yeah. And they pick through everyone's recycling.

And I had two boxes of recycling to take out and it was the weirdest thing of like, I'm going to go back and get my second box of recycling. It's probably got 15 cents worth of cans in it. Yeah, yeah. And are you, do you want that? Like, should I tell you to wait here? Or is it like the fact that I'm making you wait, you know, two minutes for 15 cents, is that like dehumanizing or do you like it? Yeah. Yeah, it's because the predominant demographic in my neighborhood is a man with shopping cart with the giant apparatus overflowing with bottles and cans.

And so you can kind of hear him rattling along. Yeah. Kind of apparatus. Overflowing. Overflowing with bottles and cans. And so you can kind of hear him. Rattling along. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh. And so I, if I hear him, then I'm like, oh, dude, what do I got? What do I got? Do I got something in the house? Yeah.

It's like trick or treating. What do you got in your neighborhood? I think it's mostly older men men but with less, like less, like not a very big cart. Okay. Or maybe bags. So maybe I'm close to a recycling.

The women in my neighborhood have what seems to be like a broomstick. Yes. And on either side is one of those like, I don't know what the, it's kind of like

those Ikea bags. Yeah, yeah. That kind of material but they're the plaid ones. Oh. Yeah red white and blue plaid yeah i know exactly the one some kind of you know not plastic bag i guess no but it's like a woven plastic yeah yeah yeah it's uh it's weird because also in the summer there there will be bottle collector folk on the bus. You want to talk about your wide world of smells. Oh, man.

Yeah. Yeah, rinse out your cans before you put them out. Yes. Gotta rinse it all out. Do you, for recycling, you rinse them all out? You're supposed to. I have just read a thing about how, how like if you don't rinse your jars out like they can't use them at all

and it costs the city like millions of dollars. And it costs me nothing. And yet Yeah. And yet I don't see it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. We rinse everything because we're a big yogurt consuming family. They're going to girt. Yeah. We're girt crew.

We're a big girt crew. Girt crew. Yeah. Gert gang Yeah I always thought of you guys As kind of a gert gang Yeah we like our gert on the go

Or Nice On the go I don't know if there's another way To put that but Yeah what would you call that You're a linguist What would you call that

I wish there was a perfect name for it Yeah I did I did Thank you for Travel yoga Wait gertigo Gertigo Oh there we go

Yeah What's up with you, Graham? I... Tell me all about it. I went and did comedy in Prince George. Ooh. The little boy who's the heir to the... They shrunk me down to, you know, what a fantastic voyage size.

Uh-huh. They put me through his nose. Oh, cool. And, you know, I like a little bit of the nose candy. The booger sugar. What was that second accent? I think it went Swedish. Yeah.

The booger. So I went to Prince George to do a stand-up comedy. Prince George is a town in British Columbia. A very, like, not famous, but i guess like their thing is bears like everywhere you go it's like there's a statues of bears and the last they're not too long ago yeah i was there last year and after a show uh a woman that had been watching the show said like how far are you from your hotel i was like it's actually quite a walk and she's like i'll give you a ride and i was like i'm fine i i walked through your bad neighborhood it's fine

and she was like no i'm literally afraid you're gonna get attacked by a bear wow yeah so there's it's like the bears like the whole bears like if you wander too far in one direction, you'd just be in the forest. Yeah. Yeah. Like, why would you do that? Yeah.

But I just mean like, that's, that's, it's like the town. It's like they shaved out enough woods to make a town. Yeah. And they didn't like put a road or a barrier to be like, you guys stay out.

So bears come into the town. Lots of bears. And on the way, on the way in, the guy who runs the show was like, hey, I got you, I got you quite an opener for this evening. He said,

she's the oldest standup comedian in in the country and i was like oh this is gonna be somebody doing a character oh i'm the oldest comedian in the country and boy was i wrong because i showed up at the show and there was a woman who goes by Lady Laughs A Lot, who is 85 years old. Lady Laughs A Lot. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, 85 years old. Tell me all about it.

Is she from Prince George? She's from out east, Toronto originally, and then moved to Prince. She became a nurse at 50. Wow. Worked until she was early 70s, retired, took up stand-up comedy, did it on cruise ships. What? And she does all street jokes.

Okay. And she was wearing a red leather jacket and a pair of devil horns. Oh, McFisto. For people who don't know street jokes People not familiar with comedy These are jokes that she didn't write That's right The jokes that everyone can tell Yeah

And the thing that was amazing Because I have no recall for street jokes at all I can't remember As soon as I hear one I laugh I can tell you a few There's a few good ones I know They're mostly about Well there was this I mean, I can tell you a few. There's a few good ones I know. Yeah. They're mostly about, well, there was this boat and it was full of men and they were so horny. And then one day they saw this dog just going at it with a big hole in the boat.

And they were like, uh-oh. And so they all started taking turns on this. Oh, you know what? I interrupted you. They were like, uh-oh. And so they all started taking turns on this. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, you know what? I interrupted you. No, I want to hear all this joke ends. Well, eventually all these guys go at it with Toll and the boat.

So the boat starts getting too heavy. Oh, boy. How many different jokes are you complaining here? And then complaining so they're like what do we do with all the stuff we got in the bottom of the boat now and they're like let's make it into candles so they make all they make a bunch of candles out of all their stuff in the boat and at the next port they sell the candles to a bunch, to a covenant of nuns. A covenant? Yeah, yeah.

A nunnery? And so the nuns, you know, they start burning these candles. And some of the nuns are like, oh, look at the shape of these candles. Anyway, long story short, a bunch of nuns get pregnant. Because of what they did with the candles. I see. And they have to decide, like, okay, we can't have all these pregnant nuns and a bunch of babies running around. So if a nun has a baby boy, she can't stay in the nunnery.

If she has a girl, they can raise her as a nun as well. So, and then one day, this joke has more to it. Yeah, this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're coming around in the bed. So, ultimately,

there's this nun, and she hears another nun crying. Yeah. And she's like, oh no, you know, what's wrong? And the nun says, I'm just so sad I have to leave because I'm having a son. And the other nun says, well, I mean, consider yourself lucky. I just had puppies. I knew the dog would somehow figure in the fun Yeah well you know what

The key to a great mystery Is you start with the N and you work backwards Well there you go So you're in Prince George Telling that joke Yeah so she I mean she did all the She did all those jokes She did all the, those jokes.

She did every variation on that. Were they that good? I mean, that's a really good one. I know another good one. No, go ahead. But yeah, she, you know, she killed because she's an 85 year old little telling joke. What was her big closer? Eat shoots and leaves?

No, she did a very old-timey thing that comics don't do anymore, but maybe Don Rickles would in his last, where they become very sincere at the end. They're like, you know, there's a lot of problems out there in the world, but as long as we can all get together

and laugh, then maybe the world's got a chance. Or something like that. So she had like this nice message. But when, so usually when your name's announced, you want to be right near the stage. Just especially if, say, you're 85 and your mobility is not what it once was. And the stage is difficult to get up on. And you know that because you were there last week and you had remarked on it. So they brought in a stool for you so that you could get on the stage.

She was sitting talking to me while she was being announced. I was like, oh, boy. So the lag time, like the clapping for like solid two minutes before she was on stage. It was pretty great. So yeah, I finally got to work with Lady Laughs a lot. Have you ever had, as a promoter, ever been like, I got you a great opener and it's a bottle opener? I usually spring a bear on them.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard I've got a great opener for you. And I should have known that when they were saying that, that they were playing some sort of game. Yeah. That is, but like, that's great. It was great. It was legitimately great. I'd love to go to a show with the, I mean, I don't think I'd like to go to a show at all. But I'd love to go to one with an 85-year-old lady.

Oh, man. It was great, and she was very sweet, and everybody wanted their picture with her after the show. And so it was the whole night. Did anyone want their picture with you? Yeah, was that hard for you? No, no, no. I said, let me borrow your jacket so that people can...

Can I have the devil horns, please? Yeah. Just for a second. I didn't know that we were supposed to wear some sort of costume. I want to feel the heat. Yeah, so if you're ever in Prince George and you're going to a show ask, call ahead

and see if they got Lady Laughs-a-lot on the bill. And if you're ever in a nunnery just burn the candles okay ladies? That's it. Oh boy, do we want to move on to overheard yes sir

alright hi I'm Allie Gertz and I'm Julia Prescott and we're the hosts of Everything's Coming Up Simpsons every episode we cover a different episode of The Simpsons that is a favorite of our special guests

we've had guests that are showrunners and writers and voice actors like Nancy Cartwright. I got a D-minus, I passed! And we've also had people that are on the Max Fund Network already. Homer wearing that golf outfit is so funny. And when he gets super into golf, he's wearing the golf hat in bed. We've had Weird Al Yankovic on the show. I was just struck by how sharp the writing is. I mean, that's no surprise because it's The Simpsons, but I mean, like, you can't say

that about a lot of TV shows, particularly ones that at that point had been on the air for 14 years. Find us on MaximumFun.org, iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. Smell you later. Overheard. you later over over here to say really which we hear things out there in the world and then we talk about them here and alley we always like the guest to lead the way we love it would you love it i love overhearing things do you yes this is the best I love it so much I take everything so I can see someone

having like a saucy like maybe crying phone call near me like I pause my music yes and start listening right away

a crying phone call or a yelling phone call oh so good yeah like who did what um yeah

no I love the juice um so what's okay a couple good ones I overheard recently I was in Toronto with Carrie my comedy partner and we were walking the street

and there was we were like we kind of were at the corner we were going to turn go across the street and then suddenly there was a rollerblader in front of us yeah basically we're like whoa but she was rollerblading and she had her like earphones in so she was on the phone at the same time as she was rolling and she like comes up right up to our faces because she's like we're like in her way and she's like but i am trying like on the phone on her rollerblades

and i was like do you think it was a rollerblade coach i don't know but i was like i guess it's harder to be a rollerblader than i thought yeah you know it is i mean it's societally it's harder than ever oh man although not in this city i think this city really just lets rollerbladers be rollerbladers. Yeah. But this was in Toronto. That was in Toronto. Yeah. I've been saying rollybladers. Yeah. It's a regional dialect.

You would know about that. I do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now, you said you had a couple? Yeah. Well, what was the other one?

Oh, yeah. I heard. I was on the bus and I heard a guy. It was like kind of a guy that, I don't know. He was kind of like not very fashionable. I feel like he was maybe in fashion for like the early 2000s, you know, kind of a baggier jean, baggier t-shirt. Maybe some like a leather wristband. Yes, yes, yes, yes, exactly.

And he was talking to his friend like in a way that like, like he was talking about like these hot girls he'd seen. Nice. But it was like in such a way that I like couldn't believe it was real. Right. It's just like, oh yeah, I saw this like real curvy redhead yesterday. And she was walking with a curvy blonde and they were, they were like really great. Like they had all the right curves and all the right places. But his buddy's like, oh yeah, cool. And he's like, yeah, Trevor pointed them out to me.

I was like, what? How is that real? Classic. Trevor that horny dog. I love it. I love that he's, it's like, you know, playing a text adventure

video game when there's like, you can just show someone a picture. Yeah. You don't have to recant. You can Google like hot girls and there's so many pictures just show someone a picture yeah you don't have to recant you can google like hot girls

and there's so many pictures he's just like telling his friend about them oh they had so many curves where was this

curves yeah all the right places yeah there were a couple of bombshells blonde and red but then there was a brunette

she had curves at all the weird wrong places she had a curve in her head, the top of her head. Concave, where it should have been convex. Yeah. Concave head. Go see my back doctor.

You got the curves in the wrong places. Oh, scoliosis. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking of a place called Scurves. What happens at Skurves? I don't know. It's like a lot of brittle bones.

Skurvy. Pirates go to work out. What is it? Is it brittle bones, Skurvy? I think all your teeth fall out. Yeah, I always thought like... Your gums start bleeding, I think. Yeah, that you become brittle. You become brittle.

I am Googling scurvy symptoms. Scurvy. Scurvy symptoms is actually my favorite cat skills comedian. What is his name? Scurvy symptoms. Scurvy symptoms. Swollen, spongy, and purplish gums. Spongy.

Prone to bleeding. Loose teeth. Bulging eyes. It's basically Shane McGowan from The Post. Loose teeth. Oh, man. Severe and easy bruising. And scaly, dry, and brownish skin.

I mean, I guess this is in white people? Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Update this list. Wasn't scurvy predominantly a British thing? I think it was in there crossing the oceans on the boats.

Because there's no vitamin C. Because I think you have to get so little vitamin C that you could eat like a carrot a month or something and not. And that's how they got the term limey. Yeah, I knew that. But like. A little linguistic fact for you there. A little etymology.

Oh, do you study any etymology? Some, but yeah. Do you have a fun? Is there like a fun? What's entomology? The bugs? Trees? Oh, is it bugs?

I don't know. But I don't have any fun facts. Oh, well, I have one fun fact. You know, I've never, when you say like, oh, all those octopuses, and then there's someone who's like, octopi, and then you're like, ugh. It's actually a Greek word, so it should be octopods. Ooh, interesting. So if I see many octopuses. Octopods. Ooh. So if I see many

octopus. Octopuses. And what's the word for that person who corrects the other people? They're called a dumb butt. A dumb butt. Dumb butt. But also you're just supposed to say octopuses or octopi. Who cares? I'm going to say octopods. Yeah. Say whatever you want.

Yeah. Dave, do you have an overheard? Uh-huh. I was driving across Yeah, say whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah. Dave, do you have an overheard? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Ooh. I was driving across the bridge. Love it. I love bridges. Nash Bridges. Nash Bridges.

Ones of Madison County. Yeah, Jeff Bridges. Yeah, Jeff Bridges. Bo Bridges. Floyd Bridges. Bridges in a song you like. Uh-huh, that part that's sort of like Not the verse or the chorus Yeah

Um Uh yeah Yeah I guess Why keep going? So I was driving and uh I saw An older guy

On the The like Walking path On the side of the bridge Uh But he was riding A Unicycle

Oh Hey And he was wearing a helmeticycle. Oh, hey. And he was wearing a helmet and wearing a fanny pack. Of course. Had earphones in, riding a unicycle. On a bridge. Yeah, but on the path. Okay.

Or maybe it was a cycle path. Holding up traffic. And then I saw his T-shirt when I got closer. His T-shirt said, 68 is the new 18. I hope that's not true. 68. Yeah, well. I wonder what he's listening to.

I don't know. What do 18-year-olds listen to? Yeah. I don't know. Memes? Memes on tape? Probably the late Avicii. Oh.

Oh. That was the... That's some article I read. It was that house music and electronic music coming of age. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 68. I mean, look.

He knew what he was doing by picking that number he knew 68 was uh why what are you getting at um it was one shy of a very saucy number it seems there yeah it seems there were these nuns it seems there was this one of these nuns um my uh overseen sure also t-shirt oh this is in uh prince jordan this is the weird thing about downtown downtown prince george graham did very weird uh finger quotes far far away from each other out here. Playing big pinball. Like the biggest besides besides City Hall the biggest building downtown is a Gold's Gym.

Those are kind of the two biggest structures. Anyways, so I was walking around the perimeter of the Old's Gym. Gold's Gym. Old's Gym? 68 is the new 18. This guy was walking with his girlfriend. to the perimeter of the old gym gold's gym old gym oh 68 is the new 18 uh this guy was walking with his girlfriend

he was wearing a shirt that had it looked like the Best Buy logo uh and so the price tag but it just said

best dick oh no and he was with somebody so it worked yeah I guess so i wonder if he'd seen some curvy redheads oh sure yeah oh do you think it was trevor i wonder yeah pointing them out best dick i mean ever but there's just i that there's no, there's no pretending to be clever with that. It's just. Yeah, you can do it with pretty much any like corporate logo.

We want it to be the Best Buy logo. We want it to be about a good penis. Yeah. How can we. Can we do the blockbuster video and make a dick buster? I don't know. So, yeah, I enjoyed that. Now we also have overheards from people around the world.

If you want to send some in, you can send them in to spui at maximumfun.org. This first one, I'm going to hand it over to Dave because it said that this will uh benefit from dave's uh french pronunciations oh so uh it's gonna benefit from dave's uh skills at reading something for the first time well no i'll just give you the the french line okay uh my five-year-old daughter was in the living room while e-news was playing on. I stepped into the other room to do something when I heard the announcer say on TV Is Kanye West in danger? My daughter

then screamed in panic in French Maman, viens vite, Kanye est en danger. Mommy, come quick, Kanye's in danger. Pretty good good line read children are the future yeah yeah like you're like they have a uh you know one of those red phones that the mayor has oh mommy kanye's in danger um and you know what what I think he's doing just fine I don't know

do you think that he's just a very shrewd marketing man and he knew that if I just say this thing and that thing I'll be on the front page because I've got an album coming out but I feel like he already is in the front page all the time so it's like how much more

can you want, Kanye? They want it all. They want it all. Yeah. The Kardashian clan, you know, they've figured out media. Yeah. Oh, they know it. They're an empire. And an umpire.

Yes, that's true. That's the kids' baseball game. I do at my kids' baseball games. Brody Jenner. No, that's not even one of them. It's half a wife. Yeah, yeah.

One put in anyways. Who are the Jenners? We got Kylie and Kendall. Those are the ones. Oh, Kylie and Kendall. Yeah, those are the cool ones. What is their relation to Kim? They have the same mother?

They're a mother. Same mother. Chris. Chris. Yeah, right, right. And she's got the short haircut. Short haircut. Yeah.

I was going to say the Liza Minnelli, but not quite, but almost. Yeah. She's certainly the Liza of the family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Our matriarch certainly the Liza of the family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Our matriarch, our Liza. This next one comes from Jeff from Boston.

This is an overheard from the zoo. Young mom pointing out an animal to her small child. Look, a millipede. Like human centipede, but millipede. No. Oh, wow. No. Whoops.

No. I will say, though, kids do know about human centipede. I mean, like. That's one of the memes that is active. It's something that I feel like a kid could have written. Yeah. Like, it's definitely. Bats on mouths.

Mouths on butts. And then the poo's definitely. Mouths on mouths. Mouths on butts. And then the poo goes through. Mouths on mouths. Butt. I also, if I was a kid, and I had a, like, if I was a kid, my friend was like, there's a movie where they stitch people's faces to other people's butts and be like, we're having a sleepover at Cody's house because Cody's parents are never home. And we are watching Human Centipede. Wow.

And that's the great thing about being a kid is I could sit there and eat like a bowl of ravioli and watch that movie and not be disgusted. That's true. Being a kid's all about. Yeah. My last overheard here. Oh, no. My daughter is in junior high school, and this is her story about a fight at recess today. I don't know what was going on. There were two girls on the ground in a mass of hair pulling, scratching, and hitting.

They were yelling stuff, too, but the only thing I understood was, Oh, so we're kicking now? Rules are rules. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. I thought it was no kicking. Oh, Marcus of Queensbury, I assume. I see we've updated terms and conditions.

Are we muyi hai? No, we're just hair pulling Have you ever been in a physical fight? I was once in that fight, I think Yeah, I remember I was mad A friend and I were mad at each other in grade 3 And I remember saying a line to her that I'd clearly Like I thought I was in a movie

And I was like, meet you outside, 3 p.m., sharp. And we met in the cloakroom of our grade three classroom and just started pulling each other's hair out. Wow. Yeah. Awesome. The teacher pulls apart. Who would you say won, even though it was her?

Oh, God. Who had more hair in their clutches. She was, like, was much taller. I was very short growing up, so I feel like she probably won. Yeah. I'll give it to me, though. Yeah, give it to me. No one else is here.

Rewrite history. Yeah, take that, Savannah. Oh, boy. Yeah. She's a real bruiser. Yeah. And it is no overhands that are written. You ever been in?

Yeah, you've been in fights. Yeah. You ever had your hair pulled? Yeah, it's the worst. Yeah, it hurts. What's worse, hair your hair pulled? Yeah, it's the worst. Yeah, it hurts. What's worse, hair or beard? I mean, it's all hair. It's all coming out of your head.

I mean, if you had a little bit of scurvy, though, it would come out a lot easier. Oh, yeah, that's true. Same with your teeth. You laugh and you just hear this rattling. An ounce of scurvy is worth of pound of fight strategy. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. You want to call us? Do it.

1-844-779-7631. Or 1-SPYPOD1. Oh, yeah. Hi, guys. It's Kelly from Michigan. I was in line to go see the lovely My Brother, My Brother and Me in Detroit the other day And I was just waiting in line to get to the venue

And heard the girl in front of me Say to the guy that she was with I mean, he did wear a fedora to prom And couldn't help myself from laughing a little bit But I don't think she did Yeah, I mean, proms There's no right or wrong way And couldn't help myself from laughing a little bit, but I don't think she did. Yeah, I mean, prom's a, there's no right or wrong way to go to prom. I mean, fedora's probably the wrong way.

Yep. But, like, if there's an occasion to wear a fedora, I think. Gotta be prom. I mean, like, it beats, you know, wearing one to Subway. I mean, it shows the other kids that you're not one of those normal kids. You're one of those, you're kind of like got a little edge yeah but like it oh fedora works with a suit better than with cargo shorts oh man oh but and yet i see the i see the fedora cargo short look fedora cargo fedora i'm just thinking of foodora uh, the great food delivery. Foodora. What, can you name, name five internet food delivery services?

Skip the dishes. Skip the dishes, lazy meal. Foodora. Foodora. Uber Eats. Oh. Yeah,

and then just good old fashioned places to deliver. WWW. I've never used any of them. Have you? No. Oh,

I've used, what? You guys can get like codes to use them any of them. Have you? No. Oh, I've used, what? You guys can get like codes to use them for the first time and get money off. Oh. Get in there. Well, how much does it cost to get a... I don't remember.

That's a good question. Like ish. I think it's like five bucks or something for delivery. I can't believe you guys haven't done this. Come on. I'm scared.

I'm scared too. No, I get that. Yeah. And I mean like the people that I see biking around with the Foodora, I'm like, I don't know if I want them knowing where I live. Yeah. And I mean, like, the people that I see biking around with the food aura, I'm like, I don't know if I want them knowing where I live. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm also, like, I don't trust that, like, certain foods aren't meant to be delivered. It's true. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What did you get delivered? Soup? Oh, I've gotten curry. It's great travel food.

Great travel food. Anything that's good leftovers, I think, is good delivery. I had a burrito. I don't know. I don't know about the burrito. I don't think the burrito was... I think burrito is on-site eating. I think so, too, because I think there's cold ingredients mixed with warm ingredients.

And by the time it got to me, it was all lukewarm ingredients. But I think they should... Burritos, they could deliver by pneumatic tube. Or just out of a t-shirt cannon. Yeah, I don't think we need to put it on the back of a sweaty cyclist. Next phone call. Hi there, Dave Graham and delightful guests. Windy day.

I'm from Madison, Wisconsin, calling in with an overseen. I'm walking home late at night, and I saw on the ground what I thought was maybe vomit, or some other discoloration, so of course I investigated. And it's just loose Twizzlers.

They're on the ground. Anyway, off I go. Yeah, loose Twizzlers was my favorite so by the way that doesn't count as an overheard or an overseen but it's an interesting site yeah just because you thought you saw something and it wasn't that but it still counts this week but he's like walking home alone late at night through the windy part of town yeah i this, I don't know if this was real, but it must have been, but it was like the cities with the most,

I don't know what it was, but like with the most drinking in all of America and like seven of the top ten were all in Wisconsin. Well, what else are you going to do? I guess, but like there's a lot of places

that are boring. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that is, but like doesn't Wisconsin really got like a tradition of places that are boring. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that is. But, like, doesn't Wisconsin's really got, like, a tradition of. I guess so. Yeah. It does now. Of being wasted.

Of Milwaukee Brewers. Yeah. Yeah. It's a brew place. Yeah. A place for brewing. Mm-hmm. Oh.

Interesting. Here's your final overheard. Hi, Dave and Graham and charming guests. This is Lucas, children's librarian calling in from Chicago. And today during story time, I was reading a book, first and overheard, where a bird eats a bug. And then really excitedly, this preschooler points to one of her friends, and she goes,

oh, she eats bugs. And then the girl, looking really embarrassed, goes, come on, not anymore. One time. I told you that in confidence. One time. Branded for life. Oh, I love that.

Just because you ate a human centipede. And he was calling from Chicago. My alcohol wasn't windy. Yeah. Yeah, wait a minute. Hold up. The, uh...

There always was a kid that would eat would eat a bug. Yeah, and you've been hosting a podcast with him for Did you eat the bug? Yeah, and you've been hosting a podcast with him for 10 years. Did you eat the bug? I'd eat anything, baby.

Anything for a laugh. I didn't know. One time I ate a candle. Have you met my puppy? Allie, thank you so much for being our guest thank you for having me a pleasure

ah so you you're part of a sketch duo yep and the the next performance June 29th 29th

yeah at Little Mountain Gallery and then you're part of what else part of Nasty Women which is Nasty Women

which is all lady group in Vancouver. All-lady. All-ladies doing comedy. Improv and sketch. Bridging the gap. Classic. Classic.

Well, I should say, actually, brunch is also improv and sketch. I can't commit to anything. Doing a little bit of static, but a little bit of mime work. And, yeah, Nasty woman's at the biltmore okay the third monday of the month every month pretty much okay yeah all right yeah monthly yeah yeah yo biltmore like the biltmore yeah yeah um well thank you so much for being our guest thank you uh like we said off the top of the show, if you're in Ontario and you want to come see us live, we will be there June 28th.

We will be in Ottawa. And then June 30th, we'll be in Toronto. And then, you know what? That's it. We're not going to Kitchener. We're not going to London. No.

Not going to the Hammer. We were offered those. We said no. We're not going to Owen Sound. Oh, boy. We're not going to Perry Sound either. We're not going to Owen Sound. Oh, boy. We're not going to Perry Sound either. We're not going to Perry Sound. Also, we might go to some other cities later this year.

Yeah, you never know. Keep your ears to the Canada, Canada. Yeah. Also, I have another podcast I'm putting out, and there's only going to be eight episodes, and I think episode five of This Sounds Ser serious is out this week uh with guest star no she's in episode six hmm you know what you just listen yeah just listen and you know what it'll be it's great it's a lot of fun easy to listen to binge worthy yeah fun for the whole family. Maybe. Oh, yeah. The whole family can enjoy.

From. There's no swears. Yeah. Oh, no, there's swears. Oh. But, you know. You got cool kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyone from 8 to 88. If you're the country's oldest comedian, fine. Yeah. If you're the new 18. Yeah, exactly. You know. Oh, I know. And if you like the show, you can follow us on Twitter,

at Stop Podcasting. You can go to the Facebook group. And if you like the show, please tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.