Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 533 - Paul Anthony

Episode Date: June 4, 2018

Paul Anthony returns to talk about getting kicked out of the Smallville sex cult, local news stories, and babies in movie theatres.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 533 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's looking up something on his phone. I don't know what. I'm just making sure it's 533.

Mr. Dave Shoup. I sort of pulled that out of thin air. Yeah, fair enough. Let's see. Yeah. If last week was 532, then yes. Hi. Hi. Hi. Sorry to be was 532, then yes. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Sorry to be looking at my phone. It's very unprofessional. No, don't worry about it at all. And before we introduce our guest, I just wanted to let everyone know that we will be in Ontario at the end of June. Tickets to... Sorry.

Ah. Mm-hmm. Come see us in Ottawa on June 28th. Yes. Come see us in Ottawa on June 28th come see us in Toronto on June 30th and tickets for those shows you can find them all

I'll post a link for them in the episode post at MaximumFun.org and that's it we're doing those two shows in Ontario we're not going all up into cottage country. Yeah. We're not doing a small run of cottage-themed shows.

They offered it to us. We turned it down. We turned it down. We said urban centers only. We were like, will there be hotels included? And they were like, no, cottages. And we said no. Now you got all the uh adirondack chairs

you can handle is that what they're called yeah that's a good poll yeah thanks thanks as i was saying i was like don't know that this is a word um and our guest today it's not a word it's a proper noun uh he is uh the host of talent time which you can now find on Amazon Prime. He's a very funny comedian. It's Paul Anthony. Hey, guys. Hi, Paul. Hey.

Paul, one of the only guests to ever bring his own beer. Yeah. And a beer koozie as well. Yeah. You know, always repping. Because we, no, we'll provide beer. We have beer upstairs. Yeah, I know. But it was 1 p.m.

I thought it was a little. Ghost? So I just brought my own. Fair enough. You know, I should have offered. I offered you coffee and you scoffed. It was scoffy coffee. And, but I should have read your mind.

Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us? Yeah Get to know us Paul Yes It's been a while Since you've been on the show A couple A couple of years

Yeah What's been going on man? Oh man What hasn't been going on? What was your What was your last adventure With us? It was

I think you were We You were on Arsenio I think I just got back from our and then i think there was one episode again after that oh yeah maybe there's one in between yeah but i remember yeah i remember the arsenio thing was a bit of a fiasco yeah and if you're new to the show this this was the arsenio reboot it's not that paul hasn't been here since 1989 i mean when they say we were early in podcasting,

we were really early in podcasting. You know what we have to show for it? Same as Arsenio Hall. Nothing. Long fingers and short memories. Although he didn't keep the flat top in the reboot. It was just like... Do you think that hurt him yeah well

he hit himself he definitely hurt himself um so uh you like for the time being talent times on uh hiatus the live little pause on the live show yeah uh yeah just uh trying to get some uh money to start September. Yeah. But you are, you're going to bring it back? I think so, yeah. We don't have to raise too much, actually.

I think like 10 grand for the whole season would help us a lot. I can't believe you can do a whole season of that for that little. That's crazy. Well, I mean,

that's just like the bare minimum and then I'll have to take stuff off the door and everything. For people who are unaware, Talent Time is your monthly variety show, live variety show that is also telecast. Yeah. Yeah. And it's a very like. And emphasis on variety.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun time. So, yeah, I hope to come back. Right now, my house is full of cardboard because I'm painting some set pieces for some street theater I plan on doing on Tuesday at the Weird Al Show in Seattle. Now, what does this mean? There's a lot of pieces you just threw at us there. I'm going back to my roots, man. I used to do stuff on the street all the time. I love it. Like a busker?

Kind of, but busking has a pretty bad name, I think. Jugglers and the such. Not in this house. No, yeah, this is a busking family. I'm a bit of a human statue myself. Just paint me silver or whatever. And you've got margo's working the devil sticks and uh what does poppy do slacklining um yeah so like you wouldn't do this will you do

it for money this street theater yeah i mean i just i love it like when i before like when i was doing hupakovsky like my stand-up character like before i even started that i was was on the street with a rusty pair of scissors cutting people's hair when they get out of the bar and stuff. And I'd just get people to come around, sit someone on an upside-down shopping cart, and be like, if we can raise $30, I'll give this girl bangs. Oh, so you weren't walking around grabbing people's hair. Yeah, I was imagining you taking a swipe at them. No, but they'd be very drunk, and maybe it wasn't the right thing to do. It was funny to me because they all seemed like very vain people, and I just got them drunk and the crowd chanting,

and I got some money in my hat, and then I'd give them bangs or something. But there's something about this I very much like, and I could see this working as the bars get out on yeah uh you know granville street or whatever just having a do you cut your daughter's hair i do yeah okay it's a very good haircut yeah thank you it's uh yeah you managed to get a very it's very symmetrical like professional haircutting uh no just on the street but i tell you my time on the street really really sharp me up dude dude. The street barbering. It was so great.

It was fun. Stuff like that. So I'm going to. What's this new, Brian? Yeah. What's your, what you're going to go down. There's a weird Al concert in Seattle on Tuesday. You know that this concert, this like tour that he's doing, right? Graham, it's all like, it's all like B-sides and his originals.

No, no. No, no, no parodies, no costumes, no, it's a sit down show for like, true, true fans.

Oh, it sounds so gross to say that. But you know, like hardcore, uh, Al heads. I would have called

them weirdos, but, oh yeah, that's good. Al heads. I'd call them Yankos. Um, so, but what's the piece

what is it what are you doing well so he's selling there's like a backstage thing that's like $320

to meet him and spin the wheel of fish that's only $100 short of $420 he knows what he's doing

yeah so I'm going down with my friend Christy who also dresses up as Weird Al. She does this thing she calls Weird Gal. And, you know, I was doing Weird Pal. You do that, yes.

Yeah. But I'm going to dress up as Emo Phillips guy, and we're going to. Nice. I'm, the name, I'm not, maybe we could brainstorm it. Oh, we're not good at this I was thinking yeah I don't know you know Phillips because oh it has to be a plan uh emo what you talking about Phillips maybe I don't know it's not are you is this going to be some kind of UHF you cut your finger off uh and it bleeds everywhere oh Oh, man, not even that intricate.

Just basically people are paying $320 to meet the real thing. I'm going to do like an off-brand meet and greet for like five bucks where it's just us. But I want to build a whole backstage out of cardboard to put on the corner and really do like a. So like something for people to stand in front of. Yeah. Yeah. Like, so they feel like a good photo.

Yeah. So they don't feel ripped out like Dustin Diamond all those years ago. Made you pay what? Like 10 bucks for a Polaroid? 10 bucks for a Polaroid. And you were on his show. You were on the same show. Yeah.

You were on the same show. You were a fellow comedian. Are you also going to the show? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. Uh, so you're going across the show? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm looking forward to it.

So you're going across the border with this set. Yeah. Yeah. We have a bunch of questions. Yeah. When is this release? This will be released in a week, Monday. Oh, okay.

Great. So it'll be over by now. Nice. It'll all be over for you, Paul. But if they ask you at the border, if they say, what is the set for? Do you just say, I'm going to do this thing? Wow, Graham, I never really thought about it.

But you're right, going across the border is a big deal, especially when you've got a bunch of weird painted, what's your purpose for this? I think YouTube video. Because now with social media, can't you just be like, I think YouTube video. Because you can write, you can just say, because now with social media, can't you just be like, I'm an influencer. My idea is,

I think you should both be Weird Al's. That's what I wanted to do. Yeah. Because I think the Emo Phillips thing is a little, I guess this is a tour for real fans. Oh, sorry. Emo's opening for...

Oh, he is. Oh. That's that part. But you're right. I mean, and two Weird Al's, that would give you more value. Yeah, more, you should be Weird Val. Yeah. Oh, there you go.

Well, that seals it there, right? Done. Weird Val you. I guess my question is timing. It's like, are you thinking this is the kind of event where people are hanging out there all day waiting to get in? Oh, do I have assigned seats? I don't have, I don't think I have assigned seats. Okay.

Maybe I do. I haven't looked. Okay. These are all good questions. Is this before the show or after the show? Yeah. Before and after. Why not?

Like how much before the show? An hour be before the show uh yeah before and after why not like how how much before the show an hour yeah okay ah i like this this is so this is just like you're like you're creating a happening yeah i i uh i don't know do you think you need people in your life to help you think things through like this oh yeah oh definitely question questions we're asking that you're like huh yeah that's a good question yeah that is yeah no 100% but yeah I think

my brain works differently yeah it does Weird Al is on your Mount Rushmore of Heroes right yeah I got those

early Weird Al's when I was really impressionable and yeah I loved his here's who I think is your Mount Rushmore okay give him what I know of you okay Weird Al's when I was really impressionable. And yeah, I loved his stuff. Here's who I think is your Matt Rushmore. Okay. Given what I know of you.

Okay. Weird Al. Uh-huh. Pee Wee Herman. Hmm. Oh, boy. Scar from The Lion King. Yeah.

And Alf. I would have said, what's his name? Andy Kaufman would be. I was very big into him for a while, for sure. Yeah. What's he done lately? Nothing. Yeah, what's he done for you lately?

He was in that Man on the Moon movie about Jim Carrey. That's true, actually. Did they have footage of him in that? Of Andy Kaufman? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But they also had just a lot of Jim Carrey talking about himself.

It was a lot of Jim Carrey talking about himself. I did see it, but also in, I think, was it 2003 or four when they had like the Andy Kaufman Dead or Alive show in LA, like he was supposed to come back 15 years after his, whatever. And Zamuda put it on and Zach was on it. And I went down and uh it was it was fun yeah but they showed he come back he didn't come back but uh zamuda showed a bunch of uh like the of the footage that i what uh the Jim Carrey and Andy movie all this like behind the scenes stuff uh there was definitely crazier stuff that didn't make the cut but I saw that stuff in like like a long time ago and it was yeah it was pretty interesting

yeah you do you have interesting things that go's gonna that a part of it's gonna be incredible right or like when i'm looking for talent like going to these stupid suburban talent shows or going to a mall and like i want to go to a suburban talent show oh well i'll ask you next time because i i just don't ask people anymore because they're like no i'm not now i have a car it's a little bit better but i just be like, it's just four buses. We're going to see a rapping granny. Describe a suburban talent show. Well, it's mostly kids. It's mostly around either a community center or like a church group.

Where do you find out about them? You really have to look. do you find out about them uh you really have to look um uh if you yeah i have you have to physically go to community centers in the suburbs and like look through their like listings of what's happening they don't generally even really advertise right like it's up on a cork board yeah exactly so libraries are good too if you go to like libraries in the different cities and stuff. But yeah, it's work, but like finding that gem is really exciting to me. And then I get to bring it to the big city and put it on the TV show. Yeah, yeah.

Who's one we might have missed lately? Or who's one that people can see on Amazon Prime? Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah. Well, the first episode. Nice work. That's good. Thank you.

The first episode is Kung Fu Easter and Master Yi is on that. It's the first time I met him. He runs the Vancouver Kung Fu School. Cool. And he's just a really interesting dude. I just try to take him down for the whole interview. We do like a little thing. And then like when he's talking, i sneak behind him and just try and then he he was on again and he taught meditation and i grabbed

him from behind he was meditating so that's fine yeah yeah that was very cool now a couple of weeks ago you sent me a text and you were like, Hey, uh, I have this crazy story. Oh, well I saw Dave's, uh, uh, tweet about, uh,

someone in Smallville and all of you alluding to the sex called. Yeah. I got invited to hang out with some people from Smallville. And it sounds like things might get pretty horny. Wish me luck. Yeah. People should put that on invitations, like kind of just a scale of how horny the party's going to be. Things might get pretty horny.

Yeah, so I just texted you and said, oh, I saw Dave's tweet. I was in that sex cult, just if you want to chat about it. But to be fair, I got kicked out before the sex cult. Oh, that sucks. I know. To be in a sex cult and then kicked out

before all the sex stuff. I know. So here's what I know about this sex cult. One of the actresses from Smallville who wasn't the main actress, well, was a main actress. I didn't realize that. She was the best friend. She was, she's married to this guy or she's with this guy.

She's recruiting on behalf of this guy. They have a spiritual connection. Who's a cult leader in America? Yeah. But this all happened through Vancouver. Well, they have a place in Albany, but then they opened up a. Albany, New York. Yeah.

They opened up a, whatever, a branch out here. I think a lot of, it was something about like the, there was a lot of actors in it. And then us being Hollywood North. Yeah. Yeah. And maybe being more vulnerable because they're Canadian actors. They're just like, ooh. Just anything, anything to get that step up.

I just want to get discovered so I can be the next, boy, Jill Hennessy. Good pull. I know. I was thinking of that guy the guy who was in all every comedy movie from the late 90s he was also

on like a show called Madison is that oh Will Sasso no but like he's kind of supposed to be

like he was always playing a jock oh Lachlan Monroe yeah I saw him a week ago

I see him from time to time auditioning yeah I know he's on the Riverdale Smallville Dale he's someone's dad so you

how do you end up in a cult so I did like hear about this what do you have what do you think you can up in a cult? Okay. Okay. Okay. So I did like hear about this. And what do you have, what do you think you can bring to a sex cult? Potato salad. No, but if I knew it was going to be that kind of party.

I would like, I heard little bits about it through like other actors, but they were all kind of people that i uh i was kind of wary of right uh anyways um does this first of all is there anything you can say that's gonna get you in trouble well they're they don't want you to they love suing everybody and anyone right i don't don't don't sue us the McElroy Brothers Yeah exactly We're just hosting our show My brother and me

And maybe the Star Trek podcast No that's someone else Yeah I know but Don't look that way I mean boy if you want to sue someone I mean Go south But like Do they I mean, go, go south.

Um, but like, do they, but like, do they have like, what is it? Yeah. How does it? Okay. So I heard people, some people talking about it, but they weren't really anyone I really respected in any way. Um, but I had a big crush on Kristen Krug, who was like the brunette in Smallville. Right. Yeah.

She was Lois Lane or Lana Lang or whatever. Yeah. And I'd see her out and we always had good conversations. I just kind of,

and I kind of liked her. And then. Is this public knowledge that she was there in it? Yeah, but she, again, she got out, she got out way before it turned into...

We're like, we do not want you to drop any bombshells. Yeah, yeah. We're like the worst show. Yeah, we were the reverse of... Yeah, if you start saying something juicy, we're going to be like, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, fair enough. That's good. It's probably good for everyone.

But I just liked her. And then I did a movie with her boyfriend at the time. Probably still a tool, but I could say that, right? Yeah, I mean, you haven't said his name. Peter O'Toole. He is a tool. I had a cover in my back. So what was I talking about?

You did a movie with a tool. Okay. So I saw her around a little bit more. And she was just, she was coming out of her shell a little bit. So how long, was this like 10 years ago? Yeah. So that movie was like 2004 or something. Oh, wow.

And then I didn't really. So it was Mean Girls. Oh, maybe it was later. I think I was out by, I don't know. I was in there for about nine months. Right. So this cult's been all around that long. Oh, yeah.

That's one of your more established cults. This is no fly by night. Well, I mean, like any successful religion or thing like this is they give you a lot of good things up front. And then they kind of suss out, I was asking too many questions. What is self-actualization? Where is the potato salad? I was supposed to bring it? Do religions give you good things up front?

Maybe not. Yeah. But cults, though. There's a lot of, like, promises. Well, no, just, like, just good tools and things. I heard someone was dating a good tool. And then, like, a lot of people get to a point where there's stuff that could be a little shady but they just kind of justify it because of how much this thing has become important to

them or whatever right i mean that's kind of i guess what i don't know i'm not saying that's what they did but there you go yeah but yeah I just I like Kristen and I was friends with Allison Mack who's been arrested now and she was

one of the people that I liked that was there and I was just like why not all these beautiful

successful I thought they wanted like I thought they liked me they were just talking so sweet to me telephone calls like let's hang out yeah I get in this thing I'm not laughing because so sweet to me. Telephone calls, like, let's hang out. I get in this thing. I'm not laughing because you're not likable, but I'm just like, this is like the script for the saddest.

I know. I thought they liked me. I thought they liked me. Because a friend of mine that I grew up with, his brother was kind of like recruited by a cult. Right. And his family, for the most part, was like, this is the best thing that could have happened to him. Like, they hooked

him up with a job. Oh, really? He met his wife through it. Yeah, no, it totally, like, there's definitely people for whom it works. Whether they believe it or not, like, you always hear that from the Scientology people. They were like, I was taking these classes.

I didn't believe the nonsense, but my career started getting better. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Like, that's like, yeah, with this guy, it was like, they're not in some compound somewhere or anything like that. Like, it wasn't like he was abducted. No, and it wasn't even culty at this point. It's just like, it's something that happened way, way along the line. So what consisted of you people being in it?

Okay. So yeah, let me, I guess, be clear of what it was. It was kind of sold as like, like a goal setting, like kind of like you'd set goals and then there'd be people you'd have coaches and you'd check in with them you know and are you paying money for this yeah okay ah ah there we go yeah and um and then you know stuff would come up whatever is like whatever they think's like restricting your chi your chi right or like whatever what was the terminology your limited beliefs they're getting in the way of like whatever. And you just kind of, and again, just like going to horrible like talent shows.

I was never, I was never, I never believed in this. I was never, I just, I was interested. Like one, it was just like some of the people I really liked and some of the people I got a horrible feeling from. And I was like, oh ooh I wonder what's happening here and so I had like drama this was like in the early days of reality TV too yeah there wasn't anywhere to get it

I did I feel like I was watching from outside I thought it was like a really interesting situation that I was in and I didn't know how it was going to turn out or what was going on so that's kind of like why I and I don't know the name of like why i and i don't know the name of this cult and maybe we don't say it but smallville sex cult yeah yeah yeah also the weird thing about a cause is for some reason in my mind i thought everybody would get

along because they're all there under this unified but i of course there would be people who are like that person's not pulling their their weight cult wise or well i think they trim they definitely trim out people who or that was my experience who are asking questions or not fully drinking the kool-aid or when like something kind of weird would come up and go why like they just kind of gaslight you and just be like, that's how I got kicked out and stuff. So when you got kicked out, were they like, did they just send you an email? Like you're off?

Oh no. Oh. Well, there's this guy that I really didn't like there who I just thought was very creepy. I realized later a lot of people felt the same, but I felt like I was I just thought was very creepy. I realized later, a lot of people felt the same, but I felt like I was the only one who saw it. Was he the leader? No, but he wanted to be.

Was the leader, so you met the leader? No, I never met him. Oh, so this was all done. Even back then, the leader was just like, Oh yeah. Handing stuff off to. No, I'm telling you like the, the program that I was part of, yes, like, some of the people ended up, and some people that I knew fairly well, ended up, like, in the deep of it. Rolling in the deep. Was Adele in it?

I think someone reached out to her. Oh, I can't blame them. I think Alice reached out to her. She's got a beautiful voice. But also, like, there was something to do with branding. Oh, yeah. Something like that. That happened, like, yeah, recently.

And my friend Sarah, who is in it deep, she got branded. And she turned away. She's, like, she's come forward to the FBI and is helping, like, their case. Wow. So she had no idea. But again, there was like, she,

I know she saw like signposts along the way. Now, after she like got out, she's just such a trusting, lovely person. Like they really, in my mind. Are there things like this that aren't cults?

Like, could you see, that's the thing. Are there classes you could take that are like like, goal-setting and, like... Well, I think we should start one. I'll be the leader. Don't look at me. It's something that I feel like they would give,

you know, classes for, like, new Canadians or something. But, like, or social workers or something. But then we just, you know, we just got a bunch of good looking people in it. Well, there was that thing that happened in Vancouver, like, I mean, it happened across Canada where it was like Sylvester Stallone and Pitbull. Oh, yeah. Like, just talking about success.

And then people paid like hundreds of dollars to just go and listen to these people talk. And it feels like that, like like that could be the tip of a sure yeah you know sign up for my course yeah like tony robbins yeah like that kind of stuff like it's like you don't have to move away from your family or whatever but it helps um so how much money did you give this cult? I think I did. I didn't, I don't remember the intensive. I did like a, a six week thing. First of all, it was like every day. Uh, I think that was, it was less than two grand, but it was like maybe 1600 or something.

I don't know. And then like, I've never known you to have $1,600. A lot of street busking, buddy. Tax free. Just kidding Any listeners from the revenue services? He said, just kidding And that legally holds up in court

He said also, everything he said up till now, just kidding Just kidding I lived really simply, you know As a punk, it worked Back then when I didn't, I thought paying for a cab was too elite. So, you know, you save money. Let's just jump on one. You are the only or maybe the first freegan I ever met.

Now, what's your definition of that word? Because there's two. I only know the definition you gave me, which was, you're a vegan unless something's free. I do believe that. You got a cheese stick? For sure.

But I don't really, I don't do that anymore. Right. I just, I don't want to, but. Right. That makes sense to me. This is something I didn't want to support. That's all.

Yeah. Oh my God. Sound like a to support. That's all. Yeah. Oh my God. Sound like a tool. But a good tool. Yeah, I know someone's looking to date a tool. So then, when you got kicked out, did you lose contact with the people

that you knew who were in this thing? Yeah, that was kind of their thing. And I got an email from one of the tools telling me like to never talk about this and... Until podcasting comes around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then even then,

wait 10 years. Well, I guess I haven't. I haven't talked about it. Not even really. It's come up a bit because it's in the news. So I've been in conversations or whatever. And it's well known enough that I made a joke based on the three things i know about it

smallville sex cult and like uh yeah it's weird because there's probably there's probably a bunch of these oh yeah people don't know about but this one only kind of came to light because there's a celebrity connected to it well i think the i don't know this leader guy i don't know who he is but it seems like he's cool yeah he seems real cool what if he's somebody beloved what if it's tom hanks what if he's the leader and you're just like oh man yeah sure i'd go away i'd sex him yeah I'd sex him for whatever he needs. Yeah. I'd sex him to get rid of my bad habits.

Sure. Yeah. Is he a healer as well? I'd sex him to get rid of like my scoliosis. Yeah. He has like the castaway look full time now. That's why he made castaways. Because he was a... Who's the sexiest Tom Hanks?

Oh. Ooh. Um. Okay. Well, I'll say it on three. One, two, three. The Carlisle. What was yours?

I meant to say, who's the, his son that's like into rap and guns? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody always forgets about that Hank son. Yeah. What's his, he's Hanks now with an X or something?

I don't know. Cool. He's a rapper, right? Yeah, he does. He has a rapper son and then he has an actor son. Right. Who looks exactly like him. You think Colin Hanks looks exactly like Tom Hanks?

Yeah, there's certain moments that they, like, certain angles or certain expressions he makes that are very Tom Hanks-y. What movie did you say? I said Sully. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That white mustache. Sexy Sully. Or Captain Phillips. I'm Captain Phillips now.

I'm the Captain now. No, now I'm the Captain. I reckon I'm the Captain now. I do, I do. I'm the Captain now. No, now I'm the captain. Oh, I reckon I'm the captain now. I do, I do. I'm the captain now. That's the whole movie. It's a real game of cat and mouse. And the crew is so confused.

We were just doing what the... Whoever's behind the wheels, the captain. And he's got one of those old timey pirate wheels on the ship. Spin it around like in a playground? You've seen it. Yeah, yeah. What's he doing next? I can't wait.

Probably something that's like, you know, for adults. He doesn't do a lot. He doesn't do a lot. He hasn't been in any superhero movies, this Tom Hanks. No. And that's probably why I've seen most of his movies. I haven't seen any superhero movies. Now, Paul.

Yes, Dave. Any news on the cult? What do you want to know? Well, they got your $1,600. Yeah. Non-refundable. Yeah. When I got kicked out, I did get some refunded. Really? Yeah. That's pretty good. I know. I really pressured them, though. Yeah. Yeah. Non-refundable. Yeah. When I got kicked out, I did get some refunded.

Really? Yeah. That's pretty good. I know. I really pressured them though. Yeah. It took quite a while. But they were like, fine, as long as you don't mention this.

Oh boy. But yeah. You came to us. I know. No, I'm fine with it. I don't think I'm saying anything that yeah. I don't think there's anything particularly juicy you said, except that

you had a crush on Kristen Krug. Yeah. That's juicy. So it sounds like this back in the day was kind of like a, you know, whatever, courses and stuff. But then, did it turn into a sex cult? Yeah, it must have. Yes. Well, allegedly. What is a sex cult? What, it must have. Yes. Well, allegedly.

What is a sex cult? What do you know about that? What have you read about that? Okay. Yeah. What I was told about that is that, so they're narrowing down to find people who might be interested in this women empowerment thing.

So it was like, it seems like a funnel. There was all this, there was this main program. It was pretty just clean. Yeah. Right. Just boring. Yeah, but occasionally one of the slides would be a naked person. They'd be like, oh, how'd that get in there?

And then they'd check to see who was kind of aroused. Where were these classes being held like at someone's house or at a no yeah the the intensive was at like some place at ubc don't have to say where exactly and yeah and then the when i when i was going to the weekly thing it was like yeah in a building downtown huh and then when I was going to the weekly thing, it was like, yeah, in a building downtown. Huh. And then, and so like they were slowly like weaning people down and then they were like, this person, sex cult. Well, that's what it seems like, yeah. Huh. Interesting.

So you can't just get, you can't get just entry level into a sex cult. This is, I'm asking now for my own edification. How do I get into it? I'm a guy who got kicked out of sex cult, man. Is the sex all happening? Is it all in, in service of the leader?

Or are there like guys who are like, or I don't know the sexuality of anyone, but like, are like people invited to have sex each other? Yeah. Right. Or is it just, okay.

Kind of like an Elks Lodge meeting, but with uh with with groundwater buffalo hats because uh i watched that documentary series a wild wild country yeah i'm watching it right now all right and they they called that a sex cult but there was didn't seem to be a lot of no like aside from that there was this kind of free love hippie kind of thing happening didn't seem like sex was like the big yeah except there was one guy it was one neighbor who always talked about it and they're loud and just going at each other like animals and then he's talking about how the christians

are there now and he's like they're better neighbors they believe in abstinence he was always talking about the sex it was just one neighbor and like he was he was the horniest oh yeah did you see how he lit up when he talked about his neighbor and the which one is your horniest neighbor goes to oh boy i mean i only i'm on a corner so i only have the one neighbor horny by default yeah horny by nature horny by nature. Horny by default. You, sir, are horny. So then it was a sex call, and then obviously they probably winnowed it down even more, and then you're into who gets branded.

Well, apparently the branded, from what I read, the branding came by surprise. That's how they do it with cows. Yeah, exactly. It was a real legitimate spit take. And tell me, when did the... Yeah, it was a real Legend of Curly's Gold situation. Was there branding in that? I don't know. Or was it just City Slickers 1? Was that a cult? Was Curly a cult situation. Was there branding in that? I don't know. Or was it just

City Slickers won? Was that a cult? Was Curly a cult leader? Kind of. I know there was a curling iron involved in branding. Daniel Stern got

burned his hand. Yeah. But that was Home Alone. Well, why does a branding seem so much more intense or whatever than like a tattoo or something like that? Burning flesh.

Yeah, the burning flesh. The smell. Oh, boy. Yeah. And it like has to heal. Are you tattooed, Paul? No. Oh, okay.

Is there any smell associated with tattooing? No, probably the tattoo artist. Yeah. It's a weird, that is a weird thing about like i don't have any tattoos but that you especially if you get like an intricate tattoo you go from not knowing this person to spending like however many hours with them like kind of on you and then like the same with if you need an intricate haircut yeah that's why I just go to this rusty scissored street guy. It worked because other people paid for your haircut.

Yeah. Yeah. The people that wanted to see it being done. It's also fun to have a haircut that has a story behind it. Right. Like when somebody's like, why do you have such a janky haircut? People don't do that. That's tattoos.

Tell me the story behind this haircut. Tell me. I met this man. Scissors for hands. Anyways. Well, I'm glad. I'm glad for one that you managed to get out of this. Yeah.

Or get kicked out in the early stages. Yeah. There was no threat of me drinking the Kool-Aid. Yeah. I think so. Really? I think there is, yeah. I like everything along the way.

I was like, mm. I think you're pretty suggestible. Maybe I am. Oh, wait, I'm thinking about it. You made me think about that. Oh, jeez. Dave, it works. You need to be the leader.

Oh, boy. Yeah. I think, yeah. I think I'd be a good cult leader because I seem emotionally unavailable. Like I'm hard to win over. Yeah, yeah. That's true. And people would be trying all sorts of things.

We brought you fruit. We brought you this. But it's a facade. I'm very emotionally available. Really? Yeah. He's a teddy bear. Yeah.

Ask me what emotions are available right now. What do we have today? Let's see. Oh, we got some fresh spite. Disappointment. Dave, what's going on with you everyone in my house is sick yeah the kids were sick oh two weeks ago not sick for five days and then we're sick again and i started getting like the last three or four years i've gotten uh i've started getting

allergies yeah but just a little bit and only for like one or two weeks every spring right and i thought that's what this was because like my nose was running and i was sneezing and like also there was just like eye pressure pressure to be like the other eye yeah yeah like that's when you go get one of those eye tests yeah Yeah. Oh boy. So yeah, not much is going on with me. Just like staying, laying low, taking care of people. Under the weather. Even the dog is sick. We've thrown out two rugs this week.

And you mean toupees. Yeah, exactly. He got on top of Marv Albert the other day and it was not pretty. Is that the most famous toupee these days? Well, I think, what's his name, the guy who plays Captain America, he said he wore a wig in all the movies. Chris Evans? Chris Evans, yeah.

Oh, is he bald? No, but just that there had to be, because he's like, his hair is so on. Yeah, he had to have super hair to keep it constant. They made him wear a wig so uh but what i did want to say is that like i think more than usual in the last couple of weeks and we're recording this on the 26th of may yeah uh people have been sending us news stories right that are like they think appeal to us so let's just go through these you don't know me and some of these are Big news stories Some of them are

Most of them are like local Right Right Oh and then there are the people From out of town Sending you local stories Yeah Like the fact that this

Made it to the news Where we're from Right Yeah yeah People will Like when Dude Chilling Park Yeah Became a thing

Exactly Wow Everyone was telling me about that Yeah I was like I know Yeah yeah The Wendy's is closing Oh yeah I only heard about that. Yeah. I was like, I know. Yeah, yeah. The Wendy's is closing. Oh, yeah.

I only heard about that through, I feel like, your response to it is what I said. The only Wendy's. There's only one Wendy's. There's only one Wendy's in Vancouver. Really? It's closing. I didn't know that. Well, there's actually, that one on Boundary is.

It's right on the Boundary. It is on the Boundary. Huh. So that's going to be sad. Yeah. Okay. But I also have been going there too much. Maybe that's why to be sad. Yeah. Okay. But I also have been going there too much. Maybe that's why they're closing.

They're like, Vancouver's coming here too often. They were doing this for the good of the city. But there are 15 A&Ws in the city and now going to be no Wendy's. No Wendy's. No more square burgers. There's going to be one Harvey's and no Wendy's. Yeah. Love that.

You know what? Let's and no Wendy's. Yeah. Love that. You know what? Let's open a Wendy's. Yeah. I know a corner that just has an opening. That would be the best. Wendy's closes and then it reopens at the exact same spot. What a great location. Next up, it was Goth Day the other day.

Was it? Yep. Oh. Yeah. It was like Goth Day and I know somebody who was in disneyland yeah a couple weeks ago and it's goth day there yeah it's called bat day wow all these goths go to disneyland on bat day and uh it's a blazing hot and everybody's in their full goth and people send this to us because we uh invented summer goths yeah summer gothsalia. And people send this to us because we invented summer goths.

Yeah. Summer goths are a huge thing because of us. Yeah. You're welcome both to the summer community and the goth community. I have some goth pen pals. I feel bad that I didn't send them like a happy goth day. What are you going to do? I think it's a fake holiday.

Oh, okay. Yeah. And you've got them covered in goth awareness money. Goth day should be in November. Yeah, or... Something dreary. Yeah, or, you know, October. Maybe October 30th.

Seems like that's a good day for goth day. But, like, let them have Halloween, too. Oh, I see. Like, have that and then have their... Yeah. Yeah. It should be the day after their birthday. So it's all over the place

that doesn't make sense it should come it should come like 12 days after Halloween like Russian Christmas or whatever yes

yeah or November 1st is kind of like Halloween Boxing Day where you return the candies that you didn't eat return them

to the other people's houses yeah I guess. And you're imagining grown-up goths? Yeah, grown-up goths. Trigger-treating? In the clothes they wear every day. Yes, yes. The other one is a lady who pooped inside of Tim Hortons

and threw it at them. Did that happen in Canada? That happened in L.A. Tim Hortons? What? That happened in B.C.? Yeah. Oh, wow. Did you watch that video? No.A. Like I said, Tim Hortons. What? That happened in B.C.? Yeah. Oh, wow.

Yeah, so that was Did you watch that video? No. That's all I watched. I watched it on, like a couple times in a row. Yeah, but then

the old spank bank. Because she's naughty and deserves to be spanked. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Spanking bank. Oh, wow. So, yeah, Tim Hortons is garbage

to begin with I'm on that lady's side Like there was no audio in it And I don't know her story I assume they just wouldn't let her in the bathroom Yeah Cause she was ready to go Honestly I need to poop

Yeah yeah I'll order after I can't have a coffee I've got oh you, I'll order after. I'll have a coffee. I can't have a coffee. I've got, oh, you guys. I'll show you.

Um, we can assume she was not well. No, we couldn't. One, one way or another. Yeah. We can assume she was maybe someone who comes there quite often and uses the bathroom and they're like,

no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No more. Yeah. Right. I definitely,

having worked at a coffee shop, it's an ongoing battle. You had a poop smearer, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I had a guy who like went crazy in there. Yeah. I think this is not our kind of show. Yeah, that's true.

It's getting a little scatological. So back to this poop lady. Yeah, don't send us Tim Hortons things. That's not our deal. That's from a part of Canada that we don't deal with. It's depressing

because she definitely has more Twitter followers than me. Definitely. Yeah, well, there's actually this new poo cult you can join.

I just want to be liked like you don't get branded but it's close yeah um yeah and then the other story was the morgan morgan freeman to be the voice of vancouver's uh transit system and then the next day morgan freeman uh not cool anymore it really was like just like something out of the simpsons it was just like it is like we find we found a celebrity the voice celebrity in trouble you know what would have been great is if they said no you can't get out of your contract but you have to say like hi I am Morgan free winning as a sexual predator. Please remember to pick up all packages before you leave the train or something. Yeah. I don't know if he's a sexual predator.

I don't know what the accusations are. Yeah, I don't remember. I didn't actually see what the accusations are. I know they are sexual in nature, but not necessarily in nature. Yeah, that's true. We don't know if he did it out in the woods. Yeah.

Yeah. nature like yeah that's true we don't know if he did it out in the woods yeah yeah um but uh yeah so and then so if you missed this story it was uh visa because he's the voice of visa or was at the time uh you can now pay for your train without using the the transit card you can just use your visa oh to get on and off the train. And so in partnership with that, he was going to announce like Expo Line to King George. That's fun.

Yeah. And then, so that stopped. And then Seth Rogen volunteered to do it. There's already a voice that does, we don't need a celebrity voice. Oh, wow. I mean, why not? Why not make that our thing, that we have celebrity voices for our buses?

We do need a thing. We definitely need a thing. In New York, don't they have like a, like, I'm Regis Philbin. And like when you get in a cab, remember to take all your things before you get out of the cab. Yeah, there's some of that. I'm Regis Philbin. Joy and I. Joy and I. Joy and I.

We took a cab to Mar-a-Lago. He used to go to Mar-a-Lago all the time. He probably still does. He probably still

does. Yeah. I mean, he's out of the public eye. He can go to whatever sex cult thing he wants.

I assume Mar-a-Lago is some sort of sex cult. I would join a Regis Philbin sex cult I would join a Regis Philbin sex cult today oh boy yeah

yeah so yeah that's what's going on with me yeah so sick but please keep tweeting me things you find out about Vancouver

some news stories especially if they've gone you know international you didn't even know that one was the Tim Hortons one. No. It was from here. I just, I watched it.

I was like, what is going on? It's not from here. It's from Langley. Yeah. I mean, that's, I consider Langley a part of the family. Do you go to Tim Hortons ever? Uh, yeah. No, I don't.

I'll go like, they're in airports every time. Oh yeah, that's the only time I'll go. Yeah. I don't, uh, I don't seek it out, in airports. Oh yeah. That that's the only time I'll go. Yeah. I don't, uh, I don't seek it out, but, uh,

yeah. If it happens to be the thing. Oh yeah. Or a small town that just has, yeah. It's the only place open at 9 PM. And it is like consistent. I will say that like,

it's not like you're never going to be like going to a place of, Oh yeah. So you guys only do ties, tie stuff at this Tim. going to a place of, oh, yeah, so you guys only do Thai stuff at this Tim Hortons. Although they will have like, you know, they'll bring in like a butter chicken sandwich once a month. Or like just the weirdest out of left field menu item. But it's still a sandwich. It's not like a roti or something. No.

No. That would be not Tim Hortons. That would be a roti. A roti. Oh, boy. It's a roti. It's a... It's kind of like...

It's like a burrito, really. Yeah. What's the bread? It's not naan. No, but it's like a thicker kind of like a tortilla. And how do you eat it? You don't eat it like a burrito. No, you eat it with a... i eat it with a fork and knife uh my that but like you could eat it like a burrito they're just

they're more they're longer so they're floppier okay but they come out on a on a long kind of dish you guys have road what's the difference then with a dulce dulce uh i don't know man i'm out of my depth here. Yeah. I think they're all, you know, it's the same. It's like a taco and a burrito. Like they're basically the same. It's a gyro and a shawarma.

Yeah. Yeah. Just enjoy. That's what I say. You know, try different wrapped foods. Yeah. Yeah. And that is

uh food wrap food wrap everybody we did it um what's your favorite Weird Al Deep Cut

or non non I hope he plays Melanie Melanie what's that from why won't you go out with me

some of what era is that from like uh or or maybe polka party or before out with me. Some of, what era is that from? Like, or, or maybe Polka Party or before.

Oh, like a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah. I never, I lost touch of him like when he was doing Bad Hair Day

or whatever, I was already out. Right. You were out, but you were still in. You're still in. Well, I just never,

I just didn't pay attention and now I'm like, I don't know know I guess it's He'll do one more minute right Yeah That would be really nice That's like his Biggest one right

That would be Yeah that would be A big original I think One more minute Yeah Probably one of his biggest Yeah I don't know

I'm really having a hard time Conjuring it Don't wear those shoes It's just Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid That's probably the biggest. I lost my mind.

Graham, thank you so much, brought me to Weird Al last time he was in town. That's right. I got to cradle his face in the opening video thing. That was fun. Weird Al's? Yeah. Yeah, because we were walking to our seats and some guy that was handling cable was like, stay here.

Weird Al's about to literally walk right past you yeah and I don't know why we trusted that guy with the cable but he was right there was something on the end of that

huge cable and yeah I found out who were Weird Al fans like when I was getting texts during the show like what the

people there oh man so what's up with you uh this past week i went and saw uh the avengers movie uh the crystal of the the demon spawn yeah the demon spawn uh it's uh how up to date are you with the avengers movies pretty pretty up to date are you with the Avengers movies? Pretty up to date. Like I've watched most of the superhero movies. Okay. As a matter of course. And it's, you know what? It was fine.

It was long. Paul has spent his whole life avoiding situations where he has to say something's just fine. As he mentioned earlier. Yeah. No, it was like like it was good i went to it uh like uh an evening show and there was somebody i don't know if this is if this is gonna be a thing moving forward but if it is i'm out i quit society but somebody brought a baby yeah to the movie at night bringing a baby yeah that's the thing yeah i don't like it i mean

it's usually a thing if it's like opening night if it's like we just have to see this movie right away yeah yeah yeah like this has been open for a couple of weeks and uh and it was a whole it wasn't just just a one person with a baby his whole brood and uh but the and the baby for a baby was pretty well behaved but not for being in a movie right yeah and uh and i'm like is is it is the countdown now on before people just start bringing their pets to the movie is that what is that what's the eventual are we in a are we in a state of decline are we in where it's like just anybody can do anything all the time? Yeah, I mean, there's kids movies you can bring kids to, but there's not pet movies.

Yeah. No one brought their pet to that Wes Anderson dog movie. That's not a bad idea for Vancouver. Like so many people that have little dogs and like, you know, especially just being an expensive city, there's a lot of people who are just like, you know, they think they're dogs as kids. Little dog movies, like the Pet, uh, Pet's Life or what's it called?

Pet Sematary. Yeah. Kujo. These are all, these are all great. We've never brought Margo, who's three, to a, uh, a theater, a theatrical movie. And, and she's about ready. I think if it was something, if it was the right one, but there's nothing good out like that. Yeah.

And she's also a kid at this point. Yeah. This was in a stroller, like crying baby. Yeah. Right. What, what have you brought your daughter to a movie theater ever? No. Huh.

Yeah. There is nothing that, yeah, that you've got to see this. A friend of mine saw Coco a few months ago with their, I think, two-year-old in it. I was impressed. Yeah. I mean, like, if I had been in a kid's, like a little kid's movie. Yeah, yeah. Then I would have been like, oh, fair play.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was like. I shouldn't be here. Yeah. I shouldn't be here without a kid but i feel like i don't know these superhero movies i i recognize that there's like there were kids there yeah which is fine and i'm like what's the baby getting out of this yeah what's the rating on this movie it would have been at least pg because there were they were there with like other kids. Right. But like in terms of the content.

Yeah. I mean, there's one scene where Thanos really just goes on a fuck-a-thon. And, you know, I was like, this seems really out of, the rest of the movie is not like that. Who plays Thanos? Josh Brolin. That's Thanos. Yeah, yeah yeah big purple looks looks a lot like uh somebody pointed out that he looked like fred durst who plays cable in the uh

josh bro oh really yeah are those in the same universe uh i mean technically yeah yeah brolin's like brolin in the deep yeah yeah yeah he's uh he's he's pulling like a ben affleck he's doing more than one superhero character his ben affleck was the daredevil and then he was the bad man ryan reynolds is the other example of that as well right yeah yeah yeah although didn't ryan oh yeah he played uh green lantern blade oh he was not he was in blade yeah he was blade adjacent yeah and you know you wouldn't bring a baby to that movie no maybe you would um my only problem i mean my i have multiple problems with it of course but also it's like these movies are three hours yeah like even if you're the most well-behaved baby doesn't

have that stamina no no no and like like i say for a baby that was in a movie theater, it was the best case scenario. As well behaved a baby as could be. But I was like, also, yeah, I was like, what are you doing here, baby? Like, you don't. I know this is not your choice, but why are you? Do you have to buy a ticket for a baby? I don't know. I feel like you should have to pay extra if you're bringing in a baby.

But, you know, like with the number of kids that were there, they could have hired a babysitter for that. That amount? You could have. No, they could have. Oh, everyone could pitch in.

Although, yeah, I would have, if they took up a collection and been like... More street theater. Yeah. If they had been outside being like...

I'm going to bring this baby in unless you can fill my hat with $30. Oh, man, I would pitch so much money into that. yeah they had been outside being like I'm gonna bring this baby in unless you can fill my hat with $30 oh man I would pitch so much money

into that see I think I'll do that I like that that's really good yeah just have a yeah

it's just a tape recorder wrapped in a blanket there's Ferris Bueller in them oh that's good so yeah so uh good movie otherwise yeah i enjoyed it i mean i don't like you know they after the credits they like will show a thing yeah because they want to see because you haven't been in the theater long enough yeah and and they did a thing where you would really have to know a lot of things to be like oh i get what that is but they they showed a scene and then it's like supposed to be a big

reveal and i was like i'm not gonna go on my phone the fuck does this mean and uh so it feels a bit like homework i feel like the first iron Man or one of the early Iron Men. Yeah. I saw in the theater and you say, oh, stay, stay after the credits. Yeah. And I didn't, I didn't know who Samuel L. Jackson was. I mean, I know who Samuel L. Jackson was. Yeah, yeah.

But like the fact. That's Pulp Fiction, you said. Yeah. It's like, oh man, this guy's going to talk about hamburgers in other countries. Count me in. But like from even back then, I didn't know anything about these movies. Yeah. Like who any of the peripheral characters are.

Yeah, I feel like I was the same with like when it first came out. And then I was like, okay, I know who these characters are. But then the one at the end of this, I was like, what do I have to study uh disney's uh production slate for the next two years to understand what the fuck is going on are you up to date on your superhero movies uh no i don't really follow it no i even lost track of uh watching the flash like i was the tv show yeah yeah which you were on. Yeah. You played the Rainbow Raider. So yeah, in season one.

And then season two, they were just talking about bringing me back a bunch, so I kept watching it. And it didn't really happen, and I just kind of even stopped watching that. That's how they get viewers. They promise everybody a role. Just keep watching. We might need you.

Yeah. That was something you talked about the last time you were on you went to a convention and you went to the VIP room I was the VIP room you got paid a little bit extra to go to the VIP room you were the only celebrity there

it's just you and Thanos searching for a correct word it's just me I brought a friend of mine. And it was in Calgary. And he lives out there. And I'm like, you can come. I mean, I might be too busy to kind of hang out.

But you know, I got an extra pass if you want to. And he's like in there with me. He's like, too busy, huh? There's literally no. And then one guy came in Who paid But I think I don't know He thought he was

Joining a sex cult Yeah In a way he was Yeah He called his He called his wife And then handed The phone to me

And I talked to her And then when they Handed it back I heard him go The Rainbow Raider Season one The Flash The guy with the red eyes

like she was just going on look this this still counts as your birthday present even though you don't know who it is this counts um do we want to move on to some overheard okay all right i love it oh man, man, every time. Well, I hope that you're enjoying this podcast you're listening to as much as we are pretending to. But anyway, why not listen to another podcast, too? It's called The Flophouse. And on our podcast, we have recently watched a movie, often a bad movie, and we review it on our podcast, but mainly talk about other stuff and, I don't know, hang out.

It's all about hang out, feeling like you're being with your best friends. Who are your best friends? Us three. Dan McCoy, Emmy Award-winning writer for The Daily Show, Stuart Wellington, owner of the best bar in Brooklyn, Hinterlands, and Elliot Kalin, former Emmy-winning head writer for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, former head writer of Mystery Science Theater 3000, The Return, so many things. Author of the upcoming children's book, The Dog. All right, that's enough.

The Elliott's credits just go on and on. Yeah, but if you like the idea of listening to three funny guys talk about bad movies, then why not come over and listen to The Flophouse? It's available at MaximumFun.org or wherever fine podcasts are found so get out of here overheard overheard segment of which uh we uh if you hear things out there and which is often the case uh and then you could share them here on the podcast and we always like to start with the guest oh yeah oh uh yeah i've got like i say i have one written down here but i heard something you can share them here on the podcast. And we always like to start with the guest. Oh. Yeah. Paul.

Yeah, I've got, like I said, I have one written down here, but I heard something last night that I think it trumps it. So here it goes. Yeah, yeah. I was at this rock and roll show. We were at this thing, and then all of a sudden I was at a rock and roll show. Wow, something really happened for you. And this girl's dancing in front of me and uh she just turns to her friend and she's having fun she turns with her friend to her friend says well this sure beats crying at home oh yeah yeah like she was that's what she was

gonna do that night i guess i was like that was kind of sweet let's go cry somewhere else yeah yeah maybe they'll play a ballad and you can cry in front of a bunch of people maybe they'll play your song from you and your ex there's uh somebody i used to work with a woman and she said there used to be a folk singer that his big thing was that he would cry during every performance like he would play and then eventually he would start crying during the and that was his like he had to keep it going though that's yeah yeah i mean i mean you have to be pretty like emotionally raw like he's got like yeah he's gotta have an emotional issue that he's able to do that every time yeah yeah but that was what he became famous for it was like the crying

was that john waters movie is it john waters like the crying. Was that John Waters movie? Is it John Waters? Cry Baby? Cry Baby. Was that, does he cry every time he plays? Yeah, maybe he. Jonathan Depp? Yeah.

A young Jonathan Depp. Dave, you haven't overheard? Okay. We're just moving right on to me, I guess. Sure. So I was walking home from the park with the kids in a wagon yeah and across it was about three o'clock across the kid across the road for me were like i don't know 11 12 year old boys right and a group of three of them and they were like they had a beat on a phone and they were

rapping and i was like oh they're rapping along to the song on their phone and as i was listening i was like oh no they're freestyling to a beat nice this is very good and the only line i remember was a guy saying i'll ram through the doors i'll make you buy some more doors yeah that's good oh man I really love that that's a thing that kids can do now yeah stand around a phone and like we used to have to beatbox for each other right yeah crazy thing is is we could Google that exact phrase and it's possible that we could actually

come across the song. Oh, or. Oh, yeah. Like it's uploaded. It's possible that we could find it. Right. It's nuts.

Are you saying that it's possible that his freestyle went up or that he was stealing a line from a real song? Oh, I thought he was legit, but. Yeah, yeah. that he posted it to

uh soundcloud or whatever yeah um then it's not you know what as a freestyle line pretty good yeah yeah although he just rhymed doors with doors yeah but there was a more in there yeah make you buy some more doors yeah also it paints it really paints a picture of who he is as a person. He's going to ram your doors. Right, but then he feels bad that he's going to buy you more doors. Yeah, I'll buy you more doors. Oh, no, I'll make you buy some more doors. Oh, he's a real bad kid.

Yeah, that's not nice. I would have offered to buy the doors I broke. Yeah. He doesn't like whoever's doors he's ramming through. Oh, boy. Yeah. But I love that the kids, you have to have a certain kind of confidence to be freestyling out in public. Oof.

I mean, or you need to have two very understanding friends. Right. Boy, it must suck to be like, if one of them is so much worse than the other two. Yeah. Very good, Gerald. Very good. Of course, Gerald. Very good. Of course, it's Gerald. Why do we, why?

It's because our mom said we have to hang out with Gerald. Yeah. And when he raps, even if his raps are bad, you have to support him. He keeps rhyming everything with door. That's all he can think of. Well, there is a lot of things rhyme with door. I know, but he's rhyming door with door.

Mom, I don't want to hang out with Gerald anymore. That rhymes with door. Pretty good. And you overheard? Yeah. I went on a date. I went to the symphony. Nice.

Yeah. Who are you? symphony. Nice. Yeah. Who are you? Niles Crane. Were you dating Maris? Yeah, yeah. Did you dress up? No, no. This is Vancouver.

You know, people. There was like, and also it was like very much, you know, a plebe night. Like it was, you know, it was supposed to be hits from Britain. They were all done by the symphony. But then it wasn't. They switched the program, so it wasn't hits from Britain. It was love songs. Oh, I mean, my favorite symphony hit from Britain,

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve. And then we left at an intermission. Didn't care for it. And went by where the... What are your favorite hits from Britain that you wanted? Yeah. Oh, you know, they were going to do a bunch of Beatles songs and Elton John songs. Oh, I thought it was like British symphonic composers.

No, no, no. This was real like the pops. This was all... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pops. And so they had switched the programming at some point and, uh, uh,

heard the person at the box office when, uh, there was a couple standing there like, uh, what, this wasn't what we paid for. Uh, and then the lady just said,

yeah, been getting a lot of complaints. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. That's great. Well, you know, when you set your sights on. You brought your Beatles wig.

Yeah, I was wearing my Union Jack t-shirt. Play the prodigy. I was wearing my Union Jack t-shirts. Play the prodigy. I was wearing my platform boots. I was dressed like Ginger Spice, even though they said they didn't say they were going to play any Spice Girls. But I assume, if it's the great hits from Britain. Yeah, they're among the greatest. Yeah, like. Sure, I'll accept some All Saints songs instead.

I saw the Spice Girls in Madison Square Gardens like maybe 10 years ago. What? And I'm not a fan. I don't know. Yeah, you've seen them 100% more than I have. You've only seen them half a time? Yeah, I've seen them half a time.

A friend had tickets and so we went and there were really great seats or whatever and it was just gay men and 12 year old girls. It was the happiest place on

earth. Everyone was just like it was great. I loved it but I didn't know any of their music.

It was really fun. You didn't know any of their music? How cool are you? I knew them.

I knew some of the hits. They put on a hell of a show, right? Yeah. Yeah, they did this part where everyone showed their talents. This is the one inspired talent time? Yeah, yeah. And who's the one married to Beckham?

Posh. Sure, yeah. She's the one with no talents. Well, yeah. So her talent was she just walked down the stage. It was kind of like a catwalk and all these bulbs just flashed. So she pretended

she was walking a red carpet. Like everyone else, like everyone else did like a solo song and she just did that. Sporty played a sport. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She played. Baby sucked a pacifier. Scary. It was really quiet.

And then. Boo. Yeah. And. Sexy. Yeah. She made ginger snaps. She pickled her own ginger.

She pickled herself. That's crazy. Madison Square Gardens. Yeah. It was nuts. Yeah. For anyone listening who's going to correct us, we know it's garden, singular. I didn't know.

You know, Paul, it's fine. This is just for the listener. I know it's happened twice. They said gardens. I'm going to let it slide. That's really it. I see it. Now, we also have overheard.

People say I'm passive aggressive. We have overheard sent in to us from people around the world. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to Maximum. S-P-Y at MaximumFun.org. And this first one comes from Sari. S-A-R-I-E. Sari? Okay.

From Parts Unknown, but this is at a Little Caesars. Cast your mind into a Little Caesars. Pizza, pizza. Where you've got the pizzas, they go on the little conveyor belt. There will be more Little Caesars than there are Wendy's in this town. This is true. I only know of one, though. I know This is true. I only know of one though. I know of

one. No, I know of two. That's 100% more Little Caesars than I know of. So this is in a very busy Little Caesars. A bunch of people have come in

and ordered. This is a large group of college students had arrived before us and each one seemed to be getting their own individual pizza hot and ready yeah i mean you don't order it it's hot and ready yeah so we sat and waited for about 30 minutes then we started to notice that people who'd come in after us were getting their pizzas before us so my friend went up and asked where our pizza was the cashier looked completely shocked and confused. She looked behind her at the conveyor belt oven and said, I'm sorry, your pizza just didn't come out.

The machine ate it. That's impossible. That's not possible. Singularity, man. What's happening? The pizza went through a bunch of gears. Like, you would smell that oh yeah yeah oh here's your problem you got uh pizzas in your pipes yeah oh we didn't we need to refill the toner like on a printer if something gets jammed nothing else comes out. The same is true of a pizza printer.

Little Caesars pizza printer? That's basically what they have. Might as well be. And I'm not complaining. No. For a $5 hot and ready pizza? Boy. Boy howdy.

Yeah. Yeah. When I lived near one, I would say, let's say I went there every day. Let's say I had a hot ready pizza daily. Because it's like, you can't afford not to. Yeah. $5. $5 for a pizza?

Right there. Yeah. Hot, ready. Good? Question mark. And it's cheese, just cheese. Yeah yeah that'll do a pepperoni one as well yeah and just like you know then you just jam it in your face and then you feel oh you feel not great not great for howard five dollars to feel not great i mean usually it costs a lot more

yeah my friend spent like $1,600. Just to be fair, I feel not great for free, Dave. You're an inspiration. This next one comes from Barry from Champaign, Illinois. I was at an annual tulip festival in Holland In brackets, Michigan Admiring a field of tulips when I overheard a guy tell his wife Wish I could have brought my bees with me They would absolutely love it here What if somebody brings their bees to a movie theater?

Are we fine with that? If an apiarist brings in a bag of bees? Yeah. What are your feelings on bees? Afraid of? Fine with? No, I'm fine with. They don't.

Apparently, they're in trouble. Oh, yeah. They're in big trouble. Yeah, that's true. Zombie bees. Saw some a couple days ago. Some bees, they're in big trouble. Yeah, that's true. Zombie bees. Saw some a couple days ago. Some bees. I saw a bee today.

Yeah. They left me alone. I left it alone. Yeah, you went about your business. They look like when we're wearing little sweaters. That's what I like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're pretty cute.

They're way cuter than like wasps are terrible. Wasps get out of here. Yeah. But the only thing I fear of is them crawling in my drink. That kind of scares me. You see them kind of here. Yeah. But I, only thing I fear of is them crawling in my drink. Like if you're at a, you know, that's kind of scares me. If like,

you know, you see them kind of floating around there. If they went into the drink. Yeah. And then like while you're drinking it tries to come out. Yeah.

Yeah. You know that bees, like, uh, they can sting other animals and not die. It's because our skin is so elastic

they can't get their stinger out. Oh shit. And so they. So it's actually like it is a pulls their guts out oh it's not like a suicide mission oh i didn't know that yeah no oh shit what was i doing i'm gonna start putting chip clips all over my body so that it's not so it's oh sure yeah that's gonna be how i contribute to uh thank you yeah the survival i'm just gonna stop using my uh daily regimen to make my skin so elastic stop using all this aveeno um this uh this last one comes from Jessica N. from Kansas City, Missouri. This is two bros eating gyros. Bros with rose.

Yeah, bros with gyros. Wow. I know we said gyros twice. It's heroes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the spirit of what we're doing, gyro is a fun thing to say. It's a fun thing to say.

And everyone knows what you mean when you say gyro. If you say hero, people might think you're having a sub, but that's not what's going on. Exactly. Uh, and the guy saying, dude, I have the stupidest tan lines,

which I mean, what are, what are the most acceptable? Uh, sleeve. Yeah. Uh, tank top,

tank top, uh, boobs. Yeah. Bikini. Yeah. Yeah. Tank top.

Tank top. Boobs. Yeah. Bikini. Yeah. Boob shaped tan lines all over your body. Sometimes you'll see a woman with like a very complicated back of her bikini top, like straps everywhere. Yeah.

Yeah. Like a lattice crust. Crust. I guess it's a lattice. I like that part though. Somebody just goes into the bathing suit to start with a pie. Do you have anything

like this? Yeah. Yeah. I, I don't, I haven't had, I haven't had a tan yet. It's,

as you look at your knuckles. Yeah. Well, that's the only part that's explaining I got a little bit of a tan yet. As you look at your knuckles. Yeah. Well, that's the only part that's exciting. I got a little wristwatch one there. Oh, yeah, you do. Okay. All right. Dave's been out in the sun.

You? Well, you know, I generally put coconut oil on myself at certain points. What points? Well, usually in the evening or whatever. Okay. Okay. But, like, I'll do usually in the evening or whatever. Okay. Okay. But like, I'll do it after I shave

or whatever, you know, and that's not good for going under the sun afterwards. Oh really? Well, yeah,

just kind of, so I feel like I've got a little bit more of a face tan than I would. Like it's like, it like cooks. Yeah,

it cooks. You can. That was pretty good. Pretty good foley yeah thank you a little bacon bacon okay what else can you do uh give me give me um just a dial tone oh sorry i gotta hang my phone up i don't know what's wrong. Wow, maybe I have a talent at this. I didn't even know. Wait, one more. Okay, one more. Like a train coming, you know, like subway. Oh, boy.

I tried really earnestly to do it. That was a tough one. That was a tough one. I did. I threw you a bit of a bus. Okay, Machine Gun. That's Machine Gun. This is one for my youth.

Oh, yeah. That is good. Yeah. Yeah. In addition to those sound effects we also have some more sound effects here is a

uh uh jack in the box that was me being surprised um in addition to overheards that are written in we also accept your phone

calls if you want to call us the phone number is not so hard to figure out you know it's 1-844-779-7631 or one spy pod one like these people have hello dave and graham and guests This is Harry in Los Angeles And I feel both terrible And like this is a very funny thing But I just saw somebody pull in the wrong way To a parking lot And puncture all four tires Simultaneously Well, off I go

I mean, I wasn't there So I can laugh about it freely Oh wow, the fact that two went And they didn't there, so I can laugh about it freely. Oh, wow. The fact that two went and they didn't think, like, you know, they kept going. Yeah. Because we don't have that here. No. The spike honor system.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, there's usually a barrier that's enough, like one of those arms that raises up. Yeah. But, like, going to L.A. especially, it's the, and like right away, because it happens around car rental places. Right, yeah, yeah. So it was like, I'm in a new country, I'm driving for the first time, I don't know all the rules, and what? Oh, the first thing I can do is puncture all my tires?

It's the fact that it does the whole thing, that it not like something that will do the first two and then kind of stop you. Like it just disables the whole car. But also you have to drive over them the right way. Like, cause they're the kind that you pushed it. Like you drive over and they go down. If,

if, if you're going this way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it freaks me out all the time, but like that,

what he saw was my everyday nightmare. I bet you someone tried to back up over them, but like the wrong way, but they're backing up. You know where they're facing the other way? That would be great to see. I sure got this thing. I bet it was so loud. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Pop, pop. Brr, brr. Master sound effects. Here comes your next phone call hi dave graham and uh probably stinky guest i'm miranda and i'm in uh southern california and i go to high school and wow why am i nervous this isn't like a big deal so this take a deep breath. So this morning, I was in my library finishing some work before your first period. And this girl,

this girl comes and sits next to me. And she gets on YouTube and I'm just doing my work and I look over and she's watching a video. She's watching a video called Gordon Ramsay orders one of everything on the menu. And so I keep doing my work, and then a few minutes later, she's watching the video. few minutes later, she's watching the video. She's watching a video called Kitchen Nightmare Best Bloopers Part 3. And I lost it. I could not stop laughing. Anyway, have a good one There you go Oh boy Really great

And good for you for keeping on your work You know school is so important Yeah yeah yeah But you know what else is important Gordon Ramsay He's one of our best Gordon Ramsay orders one of everything My favorite thing is

Where he would go to the restaurant He would order something off of the menu Like Kitchen Nightmares 1 my favorite thing is the, where he would go to the restaurant, he would order something off of the menu that like kitchen nightmares one. And, uh, the people were always expecting, like, maybe he'll like it. Oh yeah.

They'd always be looking through that little window in the kitchen door. Like, is he pure? Oh no, he's, he's, he's gagging and he's throwing it on the floor. Oh no.

He's calling us a donkey. Speaking of donkey, I actually joined a Shreks cult. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, here's your final phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Matt calling from Chicago. I was out to dinner last night with my wife and we overheard this group of, I'd say mid to late 20 year old women having around margaritas, talking about boys. And one

of them said, I have a problem because I really love John Cena. And he's so super hot. But he looks just like my dad. Well, off I go. I mean, yeah, that's a confusing time in your life when you have a wrestler figure that you're super attracted to. Who also looks like your dad? My dad, very similar to the Iron Sheik. So that was a confusing thing for me as a young boy.

I don't know if I've ever heard of anyone admitting to being attracted to a wrestler. Except Darcy Michael, his celebrity crush was Gold Dust. Gold Dust. I also feel like when I was a kid, there was a guy called Ravishing Rick Rude. Well, yeah. yeah he was but he was you know every ravishing attracted to him yeah well that was his whole deal yeah he was so

that seemed manufactured to me yeah but i you know i think some people still fell for it i think you know i certainly i was like this is what i gotta be like when i grow up he would kiss a woman in the audience she She would faint. Yeah. When they were handing out gimmicks, he got the best of the gimmicks. Like some guys like, you're going to have a snake. You're going to be an undertaker. You're a fart monster. Yeah, you're going to be some kind of boogity man. Yeah, you're going to be, I don't know.

You're going to be some kind of racist pastiche. But you, you get to kiss a lady at the end of every match oh he was also so greasy he was always very very oiled up if you if they did a list of the top 10

most oiled up wrestlers he wouldn't even be on it that's a good list Buzzfeed's 15 oiliest wrestlers He wouldn't even be on it. That's a good list. BuzzFeed's 15 Oiliest Wrestlers. Is BuzzFeed still a thing? Oh, yeah. Sure. They're still out there.

Listicles. That's it. Videos. Maybe how-to videos. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Everything's Reddit now, man.

Sure. Paul. Yeah. What does it take to be a man today? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not great at wrapping up the show. That's a great question though.

What does it take to be a man today? You know what? Just gumption. I think. Yeah. I mean, it's 90% inspiration and 10% perspiration. Yeah. And you know what?

If you don't feel like you're there, fake it till you make it. Yeah. Right? So, Paul. Yeah. If people want to check out Talent Time, they can do it all over the world? Yeah. On Amazon Prime?

Every single English-speaking country in the world, if you have Amazon Prime. And I think it's a good deal. You get the... Free delivery. Yeah. Two. Free delivery. Yeah. Two day delivery free. You get unlimited cloud storage for photos and stuff if you want. Oh, is that right?

Yeah. You got the video service. That's a supermarket. What? Supermarket sweeps on it. Yeah. And so that's, that's a big. And Alps on it too, but you know.

So yeah. If anyone doesn't know about Amazon, where can they get it? Where can they find Amazon? Yeah, yeah. But just, yeah, the show's on Amazon Prime and I would love it if you checked it out. Now, the show's called Bosch? It's called Paul Anthony's Talent Hour. Oh, okay.

Check it out. If you like it at all, can you give it some stars? Because this is the pathetic part of the show, but please. I'm going to do it right now. Yeah. That would be, that'd be great. You could check out our website. The trailer's there. I'm going to do it right now. Yeah. That would be great. You could check out our website. The trailer's there, so you want to see if you get it.

You know what I mean? It's less than two minutes. Maybe see if it's for you. How do you get it at Starz? I'm looking at my phone. You rate this show somehow. I haven't done it on the phone, so I'm not sure. Oh, okay.

I'll try it on the website. That would be great. Yeah, yeah. I'll sign up, and I'll put some Starz on. You know what? Just use my password. Maybe I'll just it on the website That would be great Yeah yeah I'll sign up And I'll put some stars on You know what Just use my password Maybe I'll just watch stars What's on stars now

Oh sure But talenttimebiz Is the website And everything's kind of Off there But yeah Check out Paul and Thieves Talenttime on Amazon

That would be really great And if you I wish you luck On your street theater adventures Thanks man Thank you so much For coming back and being a guest. It was a blast. Yeah.

Yeah. And as Dave said off the top of the show, we'll be in Ontario, June 28th. In Ottawa. Yeah. And Toronto, June 30th. Maybe we sold enough tickets on that 30th show to get a show on the 29th. Maybe not. Maybe not.

Hard to say. I mean, you know, it'll be easy to have set. Anyways. And, do you,

is there another episode of Your Fantastic? Oh, yeah. What's out this week? Oh, probably episode six of This Sounds Serious. Oh, your friend Graham Clark

would have been on episode five. Oh, yeah. Episode six features, I believe, Lauren Ash. Oh, cool. But you got to start from episode one. Go ahead. Yeah, yeah.

It's called This Sounds Serious. It's a phony baloney, fake funny, true crime podcast. I love it. And if you out there, you want to find us online, it's at Stop Podcasting on Twitter. You can go join our Facebook group. Tell us all sorts of news stories you've heard about. And if you like the show, please tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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