Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 535

Episode Date: June 18, 2018

No guest this week as we talk about Bette Midler, phone games, and Gigli.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 535 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who gets more done by 8am than most people do all day. Mr. Dave Schopka. Yeah, uh, not today. I mean, what did most people get done in a day? Nothing.

Okay, well then yeah, I guess so. If you think about an average week and like what you got done. I thought about going to like a breakfast restaurant at 8.20 this morning. There was a lineup around the block and I was, I just shrugged and drove home. Yeah. But you also had gone swimming prior to that. That's true. We're on, we're on, we're still in the swimming jag.

Do you think once, uh, once the kids are home, no more swims? No, no more swims. I am, uh, in charge in the mornings. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, I guess we've already tipped our hand. We're recording this the day after last week's episode. Yeah. You know, you might as well.

Cause I'll also be, uh, looking on my phone to see uh who won at the canadian comedy yeah graham at the moment is one of the nominees for uh best stand up best male stand-up no just best stand-up oh they got rid of the gendered the gendered category uh so you uh will be will be waiting to see if you get a text. Yeah. And if you don't, you know. Yeah, exactly. And that doesn't mean anything. Nope. Because I just remembered that they were today, just as we got rolling here.

And today's show, no guests. Just the two. An empty seat. We put a little hat on. We put a little coat filled with balloons balloons so it looked like an invisible man. Yeah. And who is this guy? Is he a comedian or is he an author?

Yeah, he's an author. Oh, cool. Mysteries. Wow. Yeah, he's going to tell us all about it. Yeah, he always says, start at the end, work your way backwards. What else is a mystery thing? Always have a MacGuffin.

Yeah, the butler did it. If a guy gets shot in the first act, you have to reveal the gun in the third. I don't think that's right. What? How does it go? I think, well, I don't know. Do books have acts? It's Asgard.

It's Asgard. Invisible. Do books have act? Well I guess In a manner of speaking But I would say I mean you don't read a book and take an intermission Do you? You maybe would read a book

During an intermission I guess That's what I call going to the bathroom Is doing an intermission Oh guys it's so good to be here I've been a big fan of the show for years. Oh, you know what I forgot about overheards? I'm a typical guest. Oh,

I know you told me, but I don't have one. You know, I'll go last. Oh, no, he's deflating. I'd like to weigh in on this whole podcast pay their guests issue. Oh, Balloon, Imagineo. What was the name, Balloon-o?

Because it was Invisible-o. Invisible-o. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. So, yeah, we saw each other yesterday. And we thought, you know what? Let's do it again. I like it so much.

Let's do it twuxt. You're going to, you're about to go to a city so nice they named it twice. That's why we're doing it. I'm going to go to Oklahoma, Oklahoma. Yeah, I'm going to go, hmm, what am I going to go see? In Oklahoma?

Yeah. Oh boy, try to think of anything but the bombing. am I going to go see? In Oklahoma? Yeah. Oh, boy, try to think of anything but the bombing. I was going to say, the statue they put up to Timothy McVeigh? No, that's not right. You know, there's Oklahoma the Musical. Uh-huh. They have a basketball team now. They do? What are they called?

Oklahoma City Thunder? Cool. It's always weird when they name a team that's not the somethings. But it's just. Is it when it has no S at the end? Yeah. I mean, I know teams do it, but I always thought it was weird. Yeah.

I mean, it became a real big thing in the 90s. The lightning. The magic. Yeah. The heat. Yeah. The, the, the. Yeah, but every team's the 90s. The lightning. The magic. Yeah. The heat. Yeah. The, the, the. Yeah, but every team's the, the Yankees.

Mm-hmm. That's true. But then I always. You can't get mad at the, the. The, but yeah, the avalanche. That was another one. Now, I'm not following the hockey. I don't know who's winning.

And it's over now. It's already decided. Who's won? Vegas? For the time this is released, it'll be over. And Washington will have won. Oh, congratulations to Washington. I hope.

I watched a thing. Because Vegas is really getting in on the whole. They're like, hey, let's do a bunch of Vegas stuff. Yeah. Surrounding. Hockey. Yeah. And so I saw Terry Fader, famous ventriloquist slash singer, impressionist, Terry Fader singing a version of It's a Wonderful World, but about the Stanley Cup.

And it's the worst thing that I've seen on the internet. And I mean, I've seen some pretty slimy stuff. Yeah, yeah. You were a big, you went to whatever the. Slime con? Crime scene photo. Crime slimes. Yeah, you're staying out on CrimeSlimes.com.

Was there a famous crime scene? Like they would, the smoking gun. The smoking gun was like where you could get uh mug shot right yeah and like where you like get them where'd you get that um but yeah the uh uh it really was one of the worst things i've ever seen so they should not they should not win based on the team. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it just feels bad. Like this is the first year they've had a team,

and they're so close to winning the Stanley Cup. It makes me sad. I think it made a lot of people sad. Yeah. And also, do you think a lot of people in Vegas were like, what, we have a team that's almost winning? Let's get on this. Yeah. Terry Fader, what do you got?

I went to a Canucks game where they played against the Vegas team, the Knights, here in Vancouver. And there were so many people, like 40-year-old guys with Vegas jerseys. And it's like, what? Oh, you've been a big fan for months. I bought the jersey. I'm a grown man. This is the team I like. I didn't grow up there.

I have no allegiance. There's no reason I would like them. I just like the shirt. But he went to Vegas and did a lot of stuff. It stayed there, but, uh, cause it happened. Oh, right, right, right. He went there and he had sex with some prostitutes. We say sex workers. Oh, right. He went there and he had some sex with some prostitutes. We say sex workers.

Oh, sorry. But he's a cool guy and I respect that guy. The guy I saw in the clip? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw many of them. I respect them all. I think they're all very cool. I mean, a kid, I get it.

Yeah. Because you want the new thing. Yeah, and also you're like, I would get in on the ground floor. Yeah. As a kid, you can't get in on the ground floor of anything. But you're like, new fan, new team, new me. Mm-hmm. But, yeah, you're right, like, adults.

But, oh, man, this Terry Fader thing is going to haunt me. I'll have to watch it. Do we watch it on the show? Oh, sure. We're not set up for a thing yet. Maybe in the second half. Yeah, maybe in the second half. But he really is a triple threat, that Terry Fader.

I thought it was Fator. Is it not? They announced him as Fader. Oh, okay. Was this in the arena that he did it? No, but it was like a special thing where he was wearing a... Blackface? Well, he said a wonderful world yeah does he do black voice he does black voice yeah but he doesn't uh i don't think i like that uh

he's uh he's one of our greatest he won america's got talent and um he's one of our greatest ventral who of the who has won america's Got Talent that you can name in the whatever 12 seasons of it? There is him, and then the last season was like a 12-year-old girl who wrote her own songs. Oh, yeah. And she was wearing a wig. No, maybe she wasn't. She just had wig-like hair. I just threw under the bus.

No, she sang songs about... On like ukulele yeah yeah yeah about being yourself or whatever and uh there must have been like a crazy 29 person dance troupe that's like what huh you want this girl to fill a whole vegas show yeah their ukuleles believe in yourself songs that i i don't like it when because there are reality shows for singers already yeah and there are reality shows for i guess there are for dancers too and for comedians yeah i feel like the uh america's got talent should be people who don't do those things uh yeah so it should be just magicians magicians and unicycle stuff like buskers yeah and then just like maybe like a guy who's like really good at karate yeah like you can do you know kick like some flaming blocks into the crowd. Yeah. The,

uh, yeah, I just like, I watched it the other night and it was. AGT? Yeah. I watched the AGT. Tyra Banks is now the host. Okay.

Is Scary Spice still on it? She's still on it. It's still, still all your favorites. Can I name the hosts? Yeah. Let's see. Are there four of them?

Four of them. Scary. Howie. Yeah. Let's see. Are there four of them? Four of them. Scary, Howie. Yeah. Howie Spice. Howard? Is Howard Stern one of them? No, he was. Okay.

Let's see. Heidi. Howie, Heidi, Scary, and... Simon Cowell? Simon Cowell. Yeah. And he's up to his old, you know, monkey shines. Yeah.

He's like, I don't know. Why would he not be? Yeah, I guess like he, like his whole deal when they started, he started doing American Idol was I've seen it all. Yeah. So you can't impress me. And 15 years later, he's seen even more of it all. Yeah. And 15 years later, he's seen even more of it all. Yeah, but don't you feel like Gordon Ramsay, like he came on really strong as like,

I'm going to call everybody an asshole. And now he like is on a show with kids. Yeah. He's like softened up a bit. But I think, I don't think he's, I think he's still hard on like, hard on, I think he's still erection on, I'm sorry, I think he's boner. No, what I think is, I think that he's still erection on, sorry, I think he's boner.

No, what I think is, I think that he's engorged about, no, what I mean to say is, I think he's pretty aroused. Okay, well, no, what I say is like the blood in his penis is, I think if someone's a professional cook, he's hard on them. Yeah, yeah. But if someone's a kid or just an amateur on whatever the MasterChef. But I feel like Simon Cowell would be mean to a kid on America's Got Talent. Yeah, true.

He's still like, he hasn't mellowed at all. He's the Ebenezer Scrooge of talent. But then, like... Do you think that Gordon Ramsay had some kind of, like, visit from three ghost chefs? Yeah, the ghost of Christmas past was like... Paul Prudhoe. And then ghost of Christmas present, Guy Fieri. Ghost of Christmas future, some sort of robot that makes the slices and dices.

Also, Ebenezer Scrooge. Yeah. People say he was visited by three ghosts. Hey, what about Jacob Marley, guys? Yeah. Wait, Jacob Marley's chopped liver? And then in one of the Disney ones, isn't there like two Jacob Marley's? Isn't it like Jacob Marley?

And are they like chip and dale or jacob marley or something jacob junior gong marley the um yeah but i would like to go to one of the tapings of america's got town because i would like to see what the things are that don't make the air like they have either got to be like... So boring? So boring. But some of the things that make the air are so boring. But it wouldn't be something that's so disastrous because those have to make the air.

Yeah, that's true. And it wouldn't be something that's so great that they're like, people can't handle this. But now they have a thing on the show. There's the golden buzzer. And if they press that, they go automatically to the final round. oh final round yeah yeah how many days of the final round are there oh boy that's most of the show i feel like there's like two weeks of preliminary is there

unlimited golden buzzers or no everybody gets one oh okay uh and uh tyra's already used hers tyra's a host she She's not a judge. Yeah, I know. But she ran up and pressed it after this dance crew. Really blew everybody's mind. I didn't really think they were that good. But they were like the fourth dance crew of that episode. Were they the best one of the four?

No, I thought the best one was... Jabberwockies? Was it still Jabberwockies? It was a group of men and women that all did crazy high flying things in high heels. Oh. And I was like, now this is. And they got through, but they didn't get golden buzzard. Right.

There was this thing. It was like adults and kids doing a thing. Yeah, exactly. I don't know how I feel about that. Anyways, it's just a great show it's a great product america's got talent and we're here to say that we think they're talented in a major way i guess that's what we're here to say but they that show if if they wanted to could just run for the, till the end of television. Till the end of talent. Yeah. Because there's always going to be somebody who wants to be on that show.

Yeah. Yeah. And like. But the prize is you get to, you have a, like a showcase in Vegas. Yeah. You have a, like a, you get like a year residence. I guess it has to be a year because there's not that many theaters. They're not building a new theater every year for the new.

Yeah. They're not kicking Rita Rudner out of anywhere. No, no, no. And I mean, you know, Carrot Top's there. He's got his own theater. Tom Green's there? Oh, yeah. All right.

I saw on Twitter that he's got his own show somewhere on the strip. I saw on Twitter that he's got his own show somewhere on the strip. But that used to be like, that was the ironclad career path. It's like you do clubs forever, and then at a certain point, you're like, I'm just going to go to Vegas and just hang out in Vegas. I'm going to be George Wallace. Yeah. And let the people come to me. Yeah. I'm not going to travel anymore.

Exactly. Very good. I'm Bette Midler. I'm good i'm bet middler i'm britney smears no i'm i'm telling you oh i'm bet middler i loved you in uh a star is born yeah that was me uh what else did you love me in the beaches beaches sure i was gonna say mermaids but it's share that share for the boys oh, was I in for the boys. With James Caan. Yeah.

Was James, yeah, it was James Caan, right? Yeah, yeah, Jimmy. Oh, Jimmy. Jimmy Caan. And I could tell you some stories about Jimmy. I watched half of a documentary about Hugh Hefner and James Caan. Man, oh man, that guy, he just like, everything he said made it sound like he was really trying hard not to say how much sex he had at the Playboy Mansion. Like he was just like, oh, it was a real fun time.

Well, I was watching, Ocean's Eleven was on TV last TV last night and, uh, I, I wasn't watching it, but I was watching it. Yeah. And there's a scene like Scott. Great caper. Scott Kahn and Casey Affleck. Yeah. Are teamed up for a bunch of things.

They, they play a duo. Yeah. That does a bunch of stuff together and you watch it and you look at these two guys, you're like, if you had me guess which one of these two was a sex creep. Right? Yeah. It would have been Scott. Scott.

He was, he was born and bred to be a sex creep. Yeah. I mean, and if by the time this episode is out, Scott Conn has proved

to be a sex creep, then I'd like to apologize to Casey Affleck, I guess. Yeah, who are you apologizing to? That's Scott Conn. But also, I don't know him that well. No, but...

There could be... I haven't researched this at all. Maybe he already is. But you could think that James Caan, you can very easily picture James Caan taking Scott Caan to the Playboy Mansion and being like, huh? Huh? This is what you're inheriting. So, yeah, it's James Caan.

He can't shake it even for two seconds. They kind of like, hey, I'm a guy who i like sex i had a lot of weird sex in a lot of weird places i'm james conn do you think it was weird i think it was probably the same sex in a bunch yeah you're right he probably just had the same james good the james conn special yeah okay hon yeah I'll quote a line from, I'll quote my famous line from The Godfather. Hey, hey, spaghetti again. He doesn't have a famous line from The Godfather. Yeah, what is he in The Godfather? Does he die in the first one?

He dies in the first one. He gets shot at the border. There's like the border gate goes down. He doesn't think that that's suspicious. And then they shoot him. Do they, does he either drop the cannoli? Do they drop the calzone? They drop the gun.

They leave the cannoli. No, they bring the cannoli. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but don't drop a cannoli and shoot the guy. Is he the guy who gets shot cannoli wise? No, I don't think he,

he's at the very end i think cannoli is earlier okay i haven't seen it in a long time um yeah i watched it like a few years ago and uh he's like he's good in it but he doesn't you know it's all uh it's all pacino gina's doing all the heavy lifting well and, and Brando. Got his mouth full. Oh, Brando. I watched On the Waterfront. That was where he was like young, handsome-y Brando. No competing with him.

He was the most handsome man in Hollywood back in the day. Almost to a point that he was unbelievable as a guy who worked on a oh sure i see i think about that a lot in movies like everybody else in the movie's so craggy looking and then he's just like looks like he just stepped out of a catalog i do think about that a lot like you'd probably like get some kind of at least a position where your your face comes in handy i'm not saying you'd be a some kind of, at least a position where your face comes in handy. I'm not saying you'd be a model. I don't know what the modeling industry is like back then.

Or if it's even that lucrative. But you could have been, you know, we'll make you a real estate agent. That's somebody who has headshots. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But then again, I like look at, sometimes I'll'll be, you know, in out and about and I'll notice a really good looking person. And I'm like, yeah, but they're not like, they're not so good looking that they're on

TV. No, that's true. They're just a guy who has found a career where he wears board shorts all day. So I guess good for him. But like, have you ever seen somebody who's like, I guess like their face is so distinctive that you're like, oh, you just don't belong. You don't belong amongst the regular folks. Yeah. And I'm trying to think of somebody who's like a good example of somebody that I was like, remember when we saw we were in New York and we saw what's her name?

Coco? No, not Coco. and we saw uh what's her name coco no not coco the one that uh she's jessica jones and she was on bristen ritter yeah yeah she doesn't look like a regular person sure like she's like tall and and kind of exaggerated features and like if you saw her at the mall you'd be like oh you're just passing through yeah you're not you don't work at orange julius like the rest of us i do i was because i've been uh by myself for a few days and i've been going out to dinner by myself the best the best yeah oh everyone's waiting for a table is there a seat at the bar there is yeah then oh and being able to just read

on your phone or watch whatever's on tv while you're waiting for your food and then when food arrives and then while you're eating your food not having to look at somebody else eating their food well and like not being not having to like uh you know ignore a person to look at your phone yeah yeah yeah yeah this this feels what i what i'm doing feels rude but what am i supposed to do stare at the floor tiles yeah no eating by yourself i don't know if if that has a bad uh name but it should no it doesn't but like some people are like i'm'm not going to eat by myself like a loser. And I'm like, no. You're the winner. If you get to eat by yourself,

you've won. But it does, I've just been like noticing people's faces more. Yeah. And I've been like, that person walks around with that face all day long. I never could have conceived of that face. Like everyone on the planet has a different face. Yeah, it's true like why what do

we need them all for like if but like if i look at two different raccoons i don't see different faces no no that's true and i wonder if raccoons when they look at each other if they see different faces or if they just like can smell yeah what do we all need a different face for yeah that's true why don't we all just look like uh all guys will look like john malkovich and uh all women will look like bett midler oh boy i mean i mean i'd be happy um if they could sing like bett midler oh boy yeah what was her big song oh you're the one who makes my way yeah that's one of them uh if i open up spotify it will tell me the top five biggest Bette Midler songs. Okay.

According to Spotify. There's one from that movie. There's one from the movie, two from the show. Bette. You know, she spells it Bette. Yeah. So far, I haven't received a text from the Canadian Comedy Awards confirming or denying me the award. Okay, good.

So, one of my favorite Bette Midler things is when she was on The Simpsons. And she and Krusty owned a horse together named Cruddler. But if you use the other parts of their names, it would be named Misty. Like, it's such a deep joke. Not only is it a funny name, but it could have been like a perfectly good horse name. Number five. Bette Midler song, Do You Wanna Dance? Do you wanna dance?

Is that it? I guess. Number four. Beast of Burden by the Rolling Stones, I'm guessing. Here we go. I'm not going to play. Oh, no. Oh, From a Distance.

Oh, From a Distance, yeah. God is watching us. God is watching us. God is watching us. From a distance. God is watching us from a distance. Wind Beneath My Wings is number two. And number one, The Rose.

That's the movie I was thinking of. It's called The Rose. Right. Yeah. She has my birthday. Really? Yep. Congratulations and happy birthday.

Yeah. Dave Shumka and Bette Midler. Bette Midler, Woody Allen, Jared from Subway, all the big stars. Really? All three of those? His birthday has changed since he became

a convict. Oh, okay. But it was on the list of people born on December 1st. And then for some reason now it's August something. Yeah.

Everybody. I still look it up to see if it's going to change back. Come on back to Team December, Jared. What do you want to? That movie, The Rose. Yeah, I just watched that recently too. For some reason. What's it about?

She's a. Do you still have that channel? Yeah, I do channel that's for 70s and 80s movies? It's all weird movies. Decades? And she plays a singer who's, you know, partying too hard. It's modeled after, it's kind of like Jackie Jorm Jorm. It's modeled after Janis Joplin. Oh, really?

Yeah. The Pearl. Yeah, but no clearance on songs um well there was one song they had the rose yeah yeah yeah how many like what percentage of the movies she was in did she play a singer i mean all one of these does she she plays a singer and for the boys and the rose and maybe that's it but then wasn't there like some movie called like the fabulous miss m or something like that divine miss m i don't know if that's a movie i feel like i was when i was a kid watching a movie that we rented and that was one of the coming attractions. I'll just open up IMDB, Internet Middler Databat.

Did you say Internet Middler Databat? Yep. Yeah, pretty good. Now, Betty Davis spells her name the same way, but she pronounces it Betty. Interesting. Okay. People are different that way. All right.

How many movies is she in oh boy oh boy was she in a in a film called the divine miss m um oh no i'm not looking that up i'm just looking up her actress credits all 44 of them oh boy uh let's see where do we start oh she was she was in a movie called the thorn before she was in a movie called the rose weird of them. Oh boy. Let's see. Where do we start? She was in a movie called The Thorn before she was in a movie called The Rose. Weird. Let's see. The Rose. That was a real, I think, her big breakout. She played Mary Rose Foster.

Jinxed. Okay. Ruthless People. I've seen that. We were talking about Weird Al a few weeks ago and he had a song called Toothless People. I've seen that. We were talking about Weird Al a few weeks ago, and he had a song called Toothless People. I don't think he probably performs it anymore. Because if the song that Weird Al is spoofing doesn't become a classic, then he can't really do anything. He's outlived a lot of careers.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Not Bette Midler's, though. Down and Out in Beverly Hills. Right. Outrageous Fortune. These are all classics. Yeah, I don't think she's a singer in them though.

No. Beaches. Well, there's a thing. There's singing in it. Yeah. Big Business. Big Business. She's twins.

Okay. Or, yeah, she and Lily Tomlin. Is that right? Mm. Stella. She's probably. Stella. I was probably saying Stella. And that was,

that was as a reliable, uh, a side splitting comedy as you could have. Lily Tomlin and Bette Midler in one feature film. Mm-hmm.

Mothers lock up your dads or husbands, I guess. You know, I lock them all up. Uh, scenes from them all with her birthday mate.

Oh, I wonder if they wonder if they bonded over that. Probably. I wonder if they were like, hey, you know who else has our birthday? Lou Rawls. Some kid who likes sandwiches. Some fat guy who's eating a lot of sandwiches. Sarah Silverman. For the boys.

For the boys. Hocus Pocus. Oh, Hocus Pocus. Classiccus classic gypsy is gypsy about a singer or is it just singing yeah i feel like that's singing that counts there's no movie called the divine miss m no it's just her name rochelle rochelle i mean oh she was uncredited and get shorty now i feel like people are just gonna be mad if i don't say all of her movies the first I mean, oh, she was uncredited in Get Shorty. Now I feel like people are just going to be mad if I don't say all of her movies. The First Wives Club, That Old Feeling, she was on an episode of Murphy Brown, let's stop.

Oh, she's great in Drowning Mona. Drowning Mona is maybe in my top ten movies. Really? Yeah. What goes on in it? Well, Mona. From Who's the Boss? Nope. Nope. Bette Midler plays Mona. Yeah. What goes on in it? Well, Mona. From Who's the Boss? Nope.

Nope. Bette Midler plays Mona. Yeah. She lives in this weird small town where everyone drives Yugos. Okay. And she's been murdered, and everyone in town is a suspect because everyone hates her. And the murderer drove a Yugo. And that's everybody in town.

Yeah. And it's got Danny DeVito. Huh. It's got Casey Affleck. I love him in everything. I just love him in general. I think he's just quality. Yeah. All around.

Well, you know what? I blacked out or missed the first half of this episode. First half? Should we get to notes? Did we play that already? Or did we just dive right in? Yeah, yeah. Invisible-o.

Oh, yeah. Who's been also silent-o. So what's going on with you? Nothing. Come on. No. But I have been checking Instagram a lot do you get ads on instagram for video games uh like games on your phone no and they're always like it has two two games happening side by side of the same game and one is like here's how my mom

plays the game and here's how my dad plays and it's like my mom's really good and my dad's bad at it. Here's how a noob plays the game but here's how a pro plays and the noob's better than the pro Do you play any phone games? No, I will download, like I'll see

the ads and I'll be like that looks fun and then after half an hour I'll just be like and I'll be like, that looks fun. And then after half an hour, I'll just be like, well, I don't want to do this every day. Yeah, there's one where you build a city and then you have wars. It feels like too much going on for a little phone. Yeah, but even in the commercial, and it's by era, you build a city and then it changes ages and then it goes into future city.

Anyways, I've seen a commercial for it a bunch of times and I'm like, that would be the game for me if I ever played games on my phone. But no, for me, it's like, oh, you know, it looks good. Is this one where there's a shape and you have to draw a straight line and see if the straight line is the exact circumference of that shape. That's a real math one. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever do like ones that are supposed to make you smarter? Like ones that it's a challenge every day or something?

No, I do crossword puzzles. Oh, do you? Yeah. Nice. Those are supposed to make you smarter. But I really feel like those just kind of make you think in terms of like, there's a way of, there's a language to crossword puzzles where it's like. Yeah. Well, this thing, if this, these two words are, you know, if it's like, I'm trying to think of an example. I feel like, I feel disproportionately like the movie Robin Williams film RV is represented very heavily in crossword world.

Why? Because it's two letters. They can't have two letter clues or two letter answers. Really? Three is the minimum. I didn't know this. This is news to me. it's i mean maybe in your people magazine one maybe that's what i'm thinking maybe i'm thinking of your tv guide

but my what i was thinking of in terms of like the language of uh crosswords is you know if it says clooney and washington or yeah clooney and washington you would know the answer is george's oh but if it's a clooney or Washington, you know it's George. So either way, if you don't know the answer, you can put an S at the end because you know it's plural. I would put Nespresso spokesman. Oh, boy. George. Yeah, George.

George, I can't see him without thinking of Nespresso now. So they've done a really good job Nespresso-wise. Very bad job Clooney-wise. Do you ever drink Nespresso or any pod coffee? No, I had it once and I didn't. I really don't like it. Yeah. And coffee is challenging to drink to begin with.

I also didn't find the whole procedure to be very satisfying. Like I didn't like that there was instantly garbage yeah they've now made it so there's you can buy some that aren't garbage that seems like another step that because then you gotta like clean out the not garbage yeah but you gotta you gotta i mean i guess with other coffees, you'd just throw away the filter. Yeah, or you'd have many cups of coffee off of one filter, whereas this one cup, I don't think that it solved a problem. It seemed like a thing that was like an answer to the problem we all have. But I was like, I'm not sure that this is a problem that anybody had.

Coffee is readily available you can get you can get one cup of coffee any hour of the day any city on earth and there's five ways to make it in your own house i i yeah i think we have three ways to make it in my house right now you got your machine you got a bodum i got a bodum and i got an arrow press what's the difference between a bodum and an AeroPress? An AeroPress is just for one cup, really. And you just push it down and it all comes out the bottom. Oh, yeah.

A Bodum. Don't come out the bottom of the Bodum. I, uh, yeah. But there's ways to have a cup of coffee. Yeah. Yeah. But then. And then there's a Keurig and that's the best way.

But like, yeah, I remember being, uh, like doing a breakfast television show and it was right when those things were first out and they had one and I was like, oh, this is going to be so much fun. And I was, it wasn't at all. Yeah. And then, and they kind of like, I don't know, they're really loud for like 30 seconds. They're really loud and hot. Like they go abnormally. There's like so much steam and, and, uh, and he really draws attention to you. Yeah.

Yeah. You get a load of the guy having one coffee. Uh, they're good for hotel rooms. I'll say that. Oh. You know, cause the little coffee machine the minute yeah that is weird yeah it was kind of silly yeah i've never i've never made coffee anyway in a hotel room no no are you afraid that somebody's monkeyed with the

huh no no because i know somebody that won't use uh they won't use the glasses that they give you like you he refuses to use oh water or anything because he thinks he's been tampered with i refuse to use any toilet paper that's been pointed into a triangle octagon or nothing for you yeah no i i think when i'm at a hotel i like to get out of the room to drink a cup of coffee yeah yeah i mean because they never have like cream and they always have just like a powder that you put in there to make it white i don't know it's like i don't know how long i let me get up and explore yeah this beautiful majestic city i'm in yeah yeah yeah it's like you know use the space you you know? Yes. Yes. Thank you. Different levels.

A real vignette. And the other thing I saw on Instagram is, so I follow a big sort of genre of people I follow. What are the genres on Instagram? I mean, there definitely are genres of people on Instagram. Well, the genre of people, one of the genres of people I follow is people I had crushes on in high school. Oh. Celebrities I had crushes on. Okay.

I'm talking your Leticia Casta. Who dat? She was a model. Okay. How's she doing? She doing all right? Yeah. Oh, good.

I follow Lisa Loeb. Oh, yeah. Classic. A classic. And I follow. That's a classic Dave crush. I follow Tiffany Ambereb. Oh, yeah. Classic. A classic. And I follow. That's a classic Dave crush. I follow Tiffany Amber Thiessen, at Tiffany Thiessen. How's she doing?

Did she like have a cookbook or something? Well, let's talk about it. Deep dive into the world of Tiffany Amber Thiessen. She posted this thing of this event where she will be. You're checking your phone. Did you get a? No, a Martha Chavez one. Martha Chavez.

One year category? Yeah. I demand a recount. Oh, well. Do you want to borrow one of... Well, I guess you already have one. I got one at home. Little cradle.

I've never been to your home. Do you have your Canadian Comedy Award displayed? Yeah, it's on a shelf. Nice. Next to the elf. Oh, cool. The elf is supposed to move every day. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, shit. That's part of it. We've never done it. Maybe we'll do it this year. Fun. It's hard to like... That's something I never accounted for as a parent.

It's like having to... You're in charge of this ruse yeah yeah yeah santa claus so you have to keep this up for quite a few years but also like if your kid's too young to care or buy into it or like understand christmas at all like are you supposed to also at the same time be like and jesus yeah here's how jesus is yeah because i knew about like and i went to church which my children do not i went to church and i didn't know jesus was a boy for years i just oh what did you think like they kept calling him a babe that's interesting so you just you just thought what like a good-looking lady yeah like a tiffany

amber thesen sure so she is she does if you're not familiar i don't know if the following words will make any sense to you either tiffany amber thesen played kelly kapowski on saved by the bell yeah uh if that's nonsense to you i i can't help you. Yeah. Anyway, apparently she has a cookbook out and she will be appearing, or maybe she already has. There's no date on this post. At this event called Bottle Rock. Now, is that in Little Rock? It's in Napa Valley. Okay.

All right. It's music, food, wine, and brew. Fun. And fun, probably. So here are your headliners. Giada De Laurentiis from the Food Network. Okay. Trisha Yearwood from Country Music.

Yeah, yeah. And Masaharu Morimoto from Food. But who represents wine and brew? Well, let's see who's on the next line here. Because there's some things that are not wine, brew, food, or music. Oh, do you think Spuds McKenzie will be there? Possible. We've got Halsey.

Halsey. Okay. Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg. And George Lopez. Oh, he's the one that's Going to bring the fun Well I don't know who Some of these next people are

Graham Elliot Nope You don't have a An index of Of Graham's I have an index of Elliot's Chris Yeah

Okay Sean White Oh the snowboarder Yeah So what's he doing here I know he's a flying tomato So that maybe Is where he falls into it Mike D Of the Beastie Boys Wow Oh, the snowboarder? Yeah. So what's he doing here? I know he's a flying tomato. So that may be where he falls into it.

Mike D of the Beastie Boys. Wow, this is a really diverse lineup of what are they doing? Ken Griffey Jr. He's going to hit some dingers. Well, like, I'm assuming the musicians and comedians are on stage, or is George Lopez appearing as a food person? Everybody's appearing as whatever they feel like. So Ken Griffey's going to do some stand-up.

Sure. George Lopez is going to, you know, do batting practice. Yeah, Sean White's just going to get drunk on stage. He's going to do a shot every minute for 30 minutes. Let's see. Michael Voltaggio, he was on Top Chef. Okay. So was Richard Blaze So was Barry Bonds I think

Nope, he's just another Basketball, or baseball The Harlem Globetrotters will be at this event The whole team? Let's just Now we're getting into some really Slow or small Print

Trey Cool from Green Day What I don't get is when there's a member of a band Yeah, yeah But also I don't know what this is Yeah, me neither It's a wine and food festival With Warren G Oh, Warren G's gonna be there?

And Dan the Automator Wow Well, you gotta give it up This is a diverse lineup as you're gonna see. And Hall of Fame football player Ronnie Lott. And the Ace of Cakes, Duff Goldman. And Tiffany Amber Thiessen will be there. Congrats.

So. To her on her exciting new Insta life. So I don't know what this is or how long it's gonna be. Does this sound like a one day event? No, this sounds like it's, to be, does this sound like a one-day event? No, this sounds like it's three days. I guess a food festival, I mean a music festival, is determined by how much music you can pack into a day.

A food festival is how much food you can pack into a person. Yeah, that's true. And also they're going to have giant know giant foods there they're gonna have uh party subs they're gonna have uh you know they're gonna go for a world record world's largest tortilla things like that oh sure uh you know uh who can eat a crepe the fast i was thinking crepes too oh blintz yeah and then you know there's going to be lots of things that you only hear on the cooking network there's going to be creme fraiche oh sure ceviche uh what's the weird name that they say for bacon i don't know there's like some weird bacon that they always use on cooking shows that i'm like that's a that's a bourgeoisie ingredient oh nobody has i don't know it uh anyways anyway what's your new favorite

food these days hmm uh oh this uh veggie burger that uh oh right it's called uh the beyond burger and you can get it at restaurants but also in stores yeah very excited so it's like i don't get the i mean normally in restaurants they're like we only serve the the thing we make but this is like uh uh this is like a made yeah this is made uh i think in california okay so it would be like the equivalent in meat would be like uh come to our restaurant we have johnsonville brats yes okay and i mean who wouldn't go to a restaurant where Who's the guy in the Is it Charlie Murphy's Cooking show I think that's right Charlie Murphy

Eddie Murphy's brother Yeah That's I think I've I've been confused about that Many times on this very show I wasn't gonna fall for it this time No but you know

It's a classic for a reason Yeah So that's what's going on with me Yeah Just immersed in Instagram. Looking at my phone in a restaurant alone. I'm Dan the Automator. Yeah.

Pretty good. I'm Mike D. Yeah, looking for a couple of beastly boys. So anybody want to try my soup? I think it would be pretty if one of the beastly boys had like a, just, I'm by myself and I'm looking for someone to rap with. I think that would be pretty easy. Oh, yeah. And like you just get to go in a recording booth and rap with them.

And he gives you a line and then you have to guess what it rhymes with. That's fun. Yeah. And then you get a CD of you rapping with guess what it rhymes with that's fun yeah and then you get a cd of you rapping with mike d yeah that's pretty good um can we do examples uh my name is mike and i'm here to say i love to eat food i love okay all right all right yeah you um i uh a couple weeks ago i went to uh at the the yale town roundhouse they had a comic book uh like i guess it happens over a weekend it's like a comic book, local comic book con. The con is on.

And there was no, it's not a dress up like a hero kind of. It's all indie stuff. It's all cool people. What I found out is I know a lot of people who draw comics. Oh. Yeah. I kept going past booths of people that I was like, huh? Hey, you wrote a comic. Our collaborator on our debut album, Jay Arner, he wrote a comic book.

He did? Yeah. It was called Now Me See Me. And it was pretty good. I liked it. It was very funny. But the thing about the. I'll have to pick that up.

It's a. It was in my head. I was like, what did nice people say? There you go. Yeah. But I did want to buy everybody's comic. That's my thing when I go to one of these things. I could easily spend several hundred dollars just.

Now, are these all professionally printed or any of them like Kinko's? It ran the gamut. Some of them were Kinko's? It ran the gamut. Some of them were Kinko's. Some of them were professionally printed and bound. You know, some of them were black and white. Some of them were color. Some of them were zines. Some of them were comic books.

You know, it ran the gamut. But I ended up just buying J's. You know what? gamut but i ended up just buying jays that was you can't you know what you're i'm that way when people post a picture of a dog who needs surgery online i can't pay for every dog surgery yeah yeah yeah i mean you want to yeah yeah but uh there's too many dogs uh too many dogs need too many surgeries and too many uh comic books, is I guess the analogy. Yeah, I mean, it's... Too many hearts, too many something, making too many problems.

What is that? Not enough love to go around. We're living in the land of world of confusion. I don't know this song at all. It's either Genesis or Phil Collins. Okay. All right. There's the video, I think, with the spitting image puppets.

Oh, creepy. No. Yes. They always scared me when I was a kid. Oh, they were maybe my first sexual memory. The Princess Di one, was it? No. Prince Charles.

They really went at him with that nose. Yeah. Those freaked me out when i was a kid the ronald reagan so wrinkly they were also wrinkly that's true whoever was making those puppets was like people are super yeah that's how he saw the world what was it about the 80s that was like let's have a weird puppet? Yeah, well, what were those little balls that had like a freaky face, like toy? Oh, yeah. Like scary toy ball face? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember those. It would be like a ball that like a guy's got a bunch of stitches on his face. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, I don't remember what those were called, but I know what you're talking about. And in the 90s, they took that idea that everyone is ugly, and they just turned it into weird close-ups from rendon stimpy of bad skin yeah yeah but i mean like if that's the way you see the world then you know that's what you're going to create yeah that's what's coming out the other end uh so i went to a comic book convention

and during the day that i was there okay uh you know what i'll let you finish it was the anniversary of queen victoria's diamond jubilee so whatever that means was this on victoria day long weekend i don't think so uh But there's like a train engine that's like in the middle of this place. And it was outside. Like they have a tiny little track that they could bring it outside. I've seen the track. I've never seen it in use. Yeah, yeah.

So they brought it outside and like kids could go in and pull the thing and make it steam and make it toot toot. So that was a lot of fun and then i was like they're grown-ups allowed to go in and make it toot toot yeah i mean i don't know that uh i don't think the conductors cared one way or another yeah sure then they were all dressed like conductors a little timey with the overalls. Yeah. No, straight B overalls. Oh, sure. Not like a. Oh, like a give me your ticket. Yeah.

Like that guy. But then the guy. Give me your ticket. I walked by and the guy was like, we're going to put it in. We're going to put it back in the thing. So I was like, I want to see this train move. And I think I went to get a drink, and I sat out on a patio waiting for them to move it, and then it got too hot.

So I went inside, and as soon as I came back out, it was already back in its holding cell for another until the next anniversary of the Queen's Jubilee. Who knows when that'll be? Jubilee is already an anniversary, isn't it? Yes. So this is the anniversary of an anniversary. Yeah. Oh, boy.

And they had her picture hung on it. I don't understand our connection to Queen Victoria specifically. Right. Like, I understand the current queens are head of state. She rules. Yeah, she rules. She reigns. Yeah.

Her cuisine reigns supreme. She's our iron chef. She is our iron chef. She's our everything. She's our iron lady. Yeah. She was really frowny at the latest royal wedding. Well, you know what?

That's gravity. But, you know what? That's gravity. But, you know, put a little effort in there. Miss. Mrs., I guess. Oh, is she still married? Yeah. Not for long. By the looks of that guy.

He's going to outlive us all, that Prince Philip. Why? What does he have planned? Some kind of death ray? No, he's... Yeah, he's going to outlive us all, that Prince Philip. Why? What does he have planned? Some kind of death ray? No, he's... Yeah, he's going to blow up the planet. Yeah, but I don't understand her connection to... Queen Victoria was a beloved queen.

Yeah, she was not amused. Oh, is that her? Yeah, that's her. She was the longest reigning monarch. Okay. Before the current one. Right. She was married to a king or prince or husband. Sure.

Or duke. Yeah. I don't know. She was married to Duke Nukem. Oh, cool. The Duke of Nukem. And after he died, she wore black every day the rest of her life. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, okay. That's all I know about her. And she has an era. The Victorian era. Victorian era. And furniture. Victorian furniture.

Never smiled in any of her photos. But no one did back then. What about Danny Kaye? Danny Kaye's always smiling. That's a different era. I know. But, like, yeah, back then it was all the only other pictures existing from back then are like an old timey guy who looks like Nicholas Cage and one who looks like John

Travolta. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who's going to be the next one? Ooh, I predict there's going to be an old timey Hugh Jackman. And those get those old timey guys switch faces in one movie.

That's true. Um, yeah. So I saw, Hugh Jackman. And those old-timey guys switch faces in one movie. That's true. Yeah, so I didn't get to see a train go back into its house. Train house. But I don't know the word for where you keep a train. No, no, no, exactly. A garage? Yeah, but it's not a garage, though. People can just walk into it and there's pictures on the wall.

Do you put pictures on a wall of a garage? No. I mean, maybe a picture of a pretty lady holding a giant wrench. Oh, that's true. I do have my sexy calendar in there. And my sexy colander where I drain all my erotic pasta. Is it shaped like a butt? And all the water

comes out the hole. It is a very sexy, troubling, troubling, pasta water thingy. The other thing is, uh,

because I have those weird, uh, TV, TV movie channels. Uh, Alicia Tobin, uh, was over last night and we watched the movie weird TV movie channels. Alicia Tobin was over last night, and we watched the movie Gigli.

Widely regarded as one of the worst movies ever made. Yeah. Unfairly? No, very fairly. Much worse than I thought it was going to be. Huh. And because they had all the elements that it should have been good like they had money and they had people who know and the director had he like made good movies before and so like everything it should have been a good movie what's wrong with it because it was it's one of these

movies like water world like uh gilly yeah that was famously like this is going to be so bad months before it came out everyone was like yeah everyone's for some reason had this on their radar that this is going to be bad and it like everything about it like from from soup to nuts. It was like Ben Affleck, I think, had seen an episode of The Sopranos. So he decided to be that. So he had, his character grew up in Los Angeles, but he has a thick New York Italian accent. So that's right off the bat. You're like, what? Why?

And what is Gigli? He's Gigli. Okay. But why? And what is Gigli? He's Gigli. Okay. He's Gigli and he's a hit man.

Uh-huh. But he doesn't kill people because he doesn't have a gun. Like, he's just like a tough. He's like a hit. He doesn't have a gun. Yeah, he's like a tough guy. Like, he's like, the first scene he's got a guy in a dryer. And he's going to turn the dryer on if the guy doesn't give him money break the dryer yeah like he cares about that no but like it's good so i'm gonna hurt

the guy the dryer is just gonna like the motor is gonna break yeah like the guy's gonna get a little this is an industrial oh yeah okay so like for duvets. So, uh, and this is a thing that happens sometimes in movies is like, uh, people will be wearing clothes that are very clearly never have been worn before. So he's wearing a leather jacket that just came off the rack. And then Jennifer Lopez appears in the movie. She's also a hit tough guy,

but not a killer. She's also a hit person. She's a she goon. she's a she-goon she shows up in shoes that she sits down and you can see that the shoes have never been worn on anything before um and it's the most of the movie takes place in ben affleck's apartment which is the most boring apartment i was like is this they only have access to an apartment and then i read i read about the movie and they had a set constructed to look like a boring like a boring apartment so uh and this was a movie that had like so much money like 50 million

dollars and uh pretty standard amount of money for a movie yeah and but i think it made 12 or something but what would they do now like would that just go right to netflix and they would kind of like yeah they would it wouldn't be uh no one would care about it one way or the other yeah it would just be like it would just be like uh you know how in the last kind of days of video stores you would go to the video store and there would be a bunch of movies you'd never heard of yeah it was like that like i think it would have just just gone away well and it was also when they were dating yes and that was where they met uh no they were dating and that's why this movie was turned into like a romantic comedy was to

use the fact that they were romantic comedy such a long term i wish there was something shorter we could say romantic he okay thank you you're welcome uh were they also both in jersey girl at the same time that was the year after and that movie bombed because people thought it was really again like it was too strong an association so in this movie they have to kidnap a special needs guy who's played by justin bartha yeah correct who's the guy from the the is he the guy from the hangover yes Yes. The one who's the MacGuffin? Yeah, yeah. And he,

I think, maybe watched the movie Radio and was like, this is what I'm doing. So he plays a character of unspecified special needs. He's a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Whatever the plot needs,

he's got it. Yeah. We need someone with ESP. I got it. And everybody in the movie kind of just does these monologues at each other.

That's how people talk. Because the thing with you is, and no one's ever told you this, and I'm going to be the one. Here's me. Can't do a whole thing. I can just start a startup. And,

uh, and then the movie just, it's, it's a really sluggish. Oh, and then, uh, Jennifer Lopez's character,

she's gay. So there's no, then they've taken away that. Yeah, well, you can switch. Yeah. That,

that was the early twos thought on gay people. It was like, you just have to meet the right Ben Affleck in two different movies this happens. Is she gay in Jersey Girl? No, in Chasing Amy. Oh, yeah, okay. Basically the exact same plot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least in Chasing Amy, his apartment's kind of interesting yeah that's true he did have a kind of a cool textured apartment this apartment oh man like you couldn't have conceived of a more boring but they did it on purpose when i'm thinking of a boring apartment i'm thinking of something that basically looks like a chain restaurant yes like. Like a TGI, not TGI Friday, but stuff on the wall, but like what are the milestones? Yes.

The Canadian chain. But imagine a place that has nothing on the walls. Cause they didn't, he doesn't have any art on the walls or anything. And, uh, but just those like glass pendant lights that are like brown with maybe a yellow swirl.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And like kind of a weird mirror that is like doesn't have a frame but has kind of maybe bolts holding it together kind of thing. Sounds like a pretty interesting apartment. Yeah, that's true. I'm making it sound better than it is. I mean, if it's so boring that it's the one thing you remember about the movie, it's a pretty interesting apartment.

And then Al Pacino's in it. Oh, yeah? And I think because this guy that directed it also directed Scent of a Woman. Wow. Yeah, so he was like, come on, buddy, I gave you an Oscar, basically. So you can come and be in this movie. And it's very bad. He's just got a ponytail.

Yeah. He shows up with a ponytail. Does he have a ponytail just in the back, like a mullet ponytail? Yeah. Is his hair slick? Is it poofy in the front or slick in the front? Poofy in the front. Oh, okay.

And then just like, it's like an afterthought ponytail. Yeah, sure. Like this character has a tiny little. A clip-on ponytail. A Lee Press-on ponytail. Yeah. A clip on ponytail. A Lee press on ponytail.

Yeah. And, uh, yeah, it's just, it's so like, it's, it's a lot of times like they'll say a movie's bad and then you watch it and you're like,

eh, maybe it's not good for how much it costs, but it's not right. Bad. This is bad. That guy has never made a movie since. Justin Bartholomew. He's in tons of stuff. Poor director. That's, uh, that's's been the the end of the road for him um and he made he made good things he made beverly hills cop

oh yeah he made scent of a woman he made weird yeah yeah and he was also supposed to be the director to do a rain man but he didn't like all the meddling that the studio was doing so he's a guy who knows to walk away from a thing that he doesn't feel is working so he till the end of the shooting of this was like this movie is good i guess he didn't know when to walk away yeah and but then after that he walked away so he has walked he's since walked away he knows he knows how to walk away. Does he know how to fold them? When to fold them?

No, he doesn't know when to fold them. Right. But does he know how to fold them? Oh, I know it's now, but I do not know how to do this. Now's the time, but. Yeah, we just sunk 10 million into this boring apartment set that we could have shot in an actual boring apartment. apartment set that we could have shot in an actual boring apartment. But,

uh, and also Jennifer Lopez, uh, is she a good actress? No, I wouldn't say that. Yeah. I don't think she's known as a good actress,

but she's been in a lot of stuff. Yeah. Like they keep saying like, yeah, you TV show movies will have you be, uh, acting in it. Yeah. I don keep saying like, yeah, you TV show movies will have you be acting in it. Yeah. I don't, I, I don't know if I've seen much of her acting. Yeah.

I just know her as a famous lady. Yeah. And a fly girl. Primarily as a fly girl. Yeah. But. I mostly watch that show Shades of Blue with her and Ray Liottaota i know it's this last season this season oh really yeah do you think ray leota is ever like j-lo ray leo and then another guy maybe yeah do you want to play halo yeah i feel like ray leota is like a really fun guy on set yeah um yeah that's kind of a weird

combo i've not watched a minute of it but it seems to be i thought it was like a weird mini series but it's oh is it canadian it seems canadian maybe it's canadian um anyway she's on a show called world of dance she'll be fine it's ray leota i'm worried about oh sure oh and i also speaking of weird movies that i saw i also watched uh one of uh frank d'angelo's films now if you are a long time listeners of the show know that frank d'angelo is a weird can weird Canadian entrepreneur who has his own brand of energy drink. They used to have ads on all the time. I haven't seen them in a long time.

I think it went out of business. Yay. Cheetah power surge. Yeah, yeah. And he makes films. With, you know, hey, Robert Loja,ja are you dying i'll give you fifty thousand dollars to be in my movie yeah and like lots of people yeah like the the movie that i saw it was uh daniel baldwin uh michael madsen uh robert loja was in it paul sarvino uh margot kidder uh-huh um the mom from everybody loves raymond okay

this is like this movie's cursed all these people are dead and then frank d'angelo as a singer he's like the bet middler of his own movies when you watch the credits, it's like watching a credit of a movie that a kid made. It's like written by, starring. Every song on the soundtrack is by him.

Frank D'Angelo. Oh boy. Anyways, it was about us. This song is for the boys. A two, three, four. The Wookiee Wookiee Bugle Boy be ha ha but i'm a doogle boy so uh so you know there's like worse movies out there than shealy but but didn't cost uh millions and millions of dollars there's no telling where it came from or what it cost

or what where the money uh where the money came from, I think. Is the bigger question. Yeah, I think it's sort of a, seems to be some kind of shelter. Yeah, or like there was a rumor that he paid everybody in cash. Like that that's why James Caan is in one where he plays a vampire. Anyways, he's got a new one coming out where he plays a stand-up comedian. Oh, Frank D'Angelo does or James Caan?

No, Frank D'Angelo. I got a great idea for a movie with James Caan as a stand-up comedian. Oh man, that sounds really good. It's called Comic Con. That's as good as it's going to get. You want to move on toard or business business baby is that you the big bopper hello business this week on the show we have a jumbotron message and this is a message for adrian b from athan b

i think they're related or what are you what do you know what we have not read this message we literally just checked our email i just got it so we don't know any context oh here we go i i read ahead i now see it as well. Graham, go ahead. Adrian, you are many things, but most importantly, you are my mom. Happy birthday. We love you. So there we go.

Mystery solved. I don't. I'm surprised that there are generations that listen to this show. Oh, yeah. I mean, why not? What's so objectionable? The grandma and also a kid. Sure.

Ages 8 to 88. No 90-year-olds. No 7-year-olds. But 80-year-olds, come on. Yeah, below 8, you've got other things to learn. Are your skulls still forming? Yeah, sure. Well, you've got that soft spot. We also this week, the show is presented by Squarespace.

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You don't actually read the book. And if you're under the bubble in Fairhaven, your individual will gets subsumed by the collective. Hey, maybe I just let him go and whip us up some guac. We do not require guac. We require only nutrients and expansion. You will become book club. You will eat, pray, and love with us. Join book club.

Bubble, the sci-fi comedy from MaximumFun.org. Just open your podcast app and search for Bubble. Hey, everybody. Hal Lublin and Mark Gagliardi from We Got This here to talk about our upcoming live shows. Why don't you tell everybody the details about our show in Philadelphia? Sure. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to go down

to Philadelphia Improv Theater, okay? I'm going to do it on Saturday, June 23rd. Okay? There are two shows. One is a 5 o'clock show. There's an 8 o'clock show. At 8 o'clock show, you can get a VIP ticket and hang out with us at 7 p.m. for like a whole hour. We'll sign something for you. You can hang out.

You can talk to us and then come see the show. Both shows are going to be completely different then come see a show Both shows are going to be Completely different though Both shows? Both shows are going to be different I sounded like a British actor Trying to do a Philadelphia accent You can look up

Philadelphia Podcast Festival You can look that up And get tickets there Or you can go to Philadelphia Improv Theater To the Fit Theater P-H-I-T And you can get tickets there

Or you can just go direct At bit.ly forward slash we got philly 2018 that's w-e-g-o-t p-h-i-l-l-y 2-0-1-8 over here ducky why did you call me here tell me to wear my jersey oh dude you're gonna love this Overheard. Dougie, why did you call me here? Tell me to wear my jersey. Oh, dude, you're going to love this. I wrote a little song for the Las Vegas Golden Kniggets.

What? Golden Kniggets. You mean the Golden Knights? What? Yeah, the K is silent. So is the G. Oh. Sorry, I learned how to read using hook it on pahonics.

Okay, anyway. So what do you want me to do? That's not bad. I want you to read the lyrics. I wrote them right down there. That's not bad about that. You just read. Here, let's do this.

Okay. I see rinks of ice. Oh, boy. Hucks flying too. The worst thing ever. No, no The seagull scored For me and you

We're gonna listen to the next two minutes in silence, okay? Living in a Stanley Cup world Only 900 views on this Okay, your turn Alright, I'll say it I see black and gold. What a great sight.

A bright blessed team. These great golden nights. Vegas is living in a Stanley Cup world. Oh, that was great. Okay, here we go why did they i guess why did they give the puppet a microphone so loud every night scare the heck out of the cat a whole band behind

yes and the band's like well I guess it's come to this. I see players shaking hands. They're acting all nice. Something fight? They're really saying we're gonna kick your ice. Wait a second. You can't say that. I said ice, dude.

Oh, okay. I see. Okay. This has been Terry Fader Golden Vegas Golden Knights. dude. Oh, okay. I see. Okay. Uh, this has been, uh, that's Terry Fader, uh, golden,

uh, Vegas golden night. That was Terry Fader and his puppet, Dougie. Dougie. Uh, over her. Yeah.

Um, if you're, uh, a person, uh, who likes to eavesdrop or eyes drop. Did you say ass drop? No, I said ice drop.

Hit it, band. Oh, wow. The band is a big fart now. Now, we always start with the guest. And I think we should do that again. Yeah. What's my voice again? What's my voice again? What's my voice again?

Oh man, it's Invisible O. Are you in Blink-182? Dave, do you want to start over here? Sure. Let's just see here. I don't think I have any. So I'm as good as Invisible O is. I think I'm gonna have to do

The same thing I did last week And just take something my daughter said That was kind of funny Pretty good So yesterday Not yesterday Let's say a few days ago There was a light

My daughter Margo She's three She was standing outside And she said there was a light going on and off. And by the way, there wasn't. And if this is a medical issue, please let me know if any of you are experts on this. It was daytime. And so I don't know how she would have seen a light going on and off, but maybe there was somewhere. Suddenly, I'm starting to panic.

Yeah. But she said, one light is going on and off and on and off and i said oh i looked around which light and she said i don't know i'm not the boss of lamps how do how do the kids come up with it uh it feels like the boss of lamps would be playing at that bottle fest oh yeah and uh you know whatever randy travis the boss of lamps i think of aladdin as the boss of lamps oh yeah um but that seems like a show that would be on the uh outdoor or home network boss of lamps yeah oh yeah oh sure yeah just on the home and garden now yeah like Like I do chandeliers.

I do pendants. I do sconces. I'm the boss of lamps. You got sconce problems. You come to me. What's this sconce? Wall lamp? Yeah.

Oh, nice. They didn't have any of those in Geely's apartment. Oh no. No. Very boring apartment. There's not too many sconces around here. I don't think I have any sconces. No. Maybe not. Maybe there's some outdoor sc sconces around here i don't think i have any sconces no uh maybe not maybe

there's some outdoor sconces yeah yeah nice outdoor sconce somewhere that a wasp can build a nest basically somewhere you forget about it and then you're like oh no yeah am i supposed to what do i stick a broom up here i stick a broom in, wiggle it around. Zap. Do you have a legitimate overheard? I do. I was having brunch on a patio and the women next to me

were actresses, actors, actresses, whatever you want to call them. And they were talking about working on a sex cult. cult yeah they were building their own sex cult and i was like my ears are burning um uh they were on the show lost in space okay netflix yeah the reboot and uh the one i guess the i guess both of them were unaware that this was uh previously a very famous show and then not as famous movie.

But who was in the movie? Matt LeBlanc. That's what I was going to guess. Yeah. That is not as famous. But the one woman was saying like, yeah, it's crazy. This one line from the show has really taken off. This danger.

Will Robinson is real. People really seem to know it. So she thinks that it's the show that she's on the first time. Someone's written this new line that everyone loves. Yeah. And that, uh, people,

they've got danger. Will Robinson fever. And they've, uh, you know, who said that great line, Danger Will Robinson? Was it James Caan in The Godfather? Was that his catchphrase? That was his catchphrase.

And that's what he would say to the ladies when he was on the ground. Danger Will Robinson. Yeah. That's what he called his penis. Yeah. I think that's implied. But. Good for them uh good for them good for them i mean i don't know what role they had on the show i don't know what the show is never watched the original show never watched the new one no i know parker posey's in it yeah and like i don't know they i they go from

planet to planet there were some there were numerous numerous Parker Posey sightings in town. Speaking of high school crushes. Yeah. Parker Posey tops the list. Follow her on Instagram. Maybe. I don't know. I'm not going to.

I've decided. Okay. Now, we also have overheards sent in from people around the horn. If you want to send it from your horn to our horn. What about me? Oh, Invisible O, do you have an overheard? Yeah, well, I'm invisible, you know, so I hear a lot of things. And the other day, I was hanging out in the women's changing room.

They were talking about you guys. They were talking about us? Yeah. What were they saying? Well, they were having a naked pillow fight in their changer. Did they bring pillows from home? I guess so.

Well, no, this was a change room at Bed Bath & Beyond. So, hold on a second. This is where you go to... Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all in their lockers having a little shower. The lockers and the shower. At Bed Bath & Beyond.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are employees or these are real shoppers? Do you remember if this was my voice in the beginning of the show? Yeah, this was the voice. Okay. So, yeah was the voice. Okay. So, yeah, we're in New York. And they, you know. In the change room, they're having a pillow fight.

It was actually a pillow fight. Yeah. Very wet. Wet? They're in the shower with their pillows. Yeah, and they have an industrial clothes dryer. Sure. And they're threatening a guy.

And they said uh you guys ever heard of that show don't podcast so much thanks invisible oh

um now if you want to send one in you can send it in to sby no shut up invisible oh

sby at maximum fun dot org um this uh first one comes from amy in new mexico Shut up, Invisible. SBY at MaximumFun.org. This first one comes from Amy in New Mexico. Hey. I just came out of a building. Hi. And I heard a noise, and I looked up, and there was a woman in business clothes

holding a bag of hot dog buns and throwing hot dogs into the trees. So what do you think that's about? Was she picking the, she had hot dog buns and she was throwing hot dogs? Yeah, she was throwing hot dogs into the trees. I don't know if she's on the ground or if she's up above and throwing hot dogs down below. But what's that about? What's your best guess? I mean, I think it's probably performance art.

Woman in business clothes. That's true. I Well, yeah. What's your best guess? I mean, I think it's probably performance art. Woman in business clothes. That's true. I mean, she's, she represents Hillary Clinton. Hot dogs represent the patriarchy. Yeah. The trees. Will Robinson. The trees are trees.

So what's the message? I mean, do your best. Yeah. And, you know, I'll give a hundred percent. It'll, you know, all the time. Yeah. Take your vitamins. Like take your nitrates.

Yeah. My doctor's always asking if I've had a, do I take my nitrates? No, I've been eating a lot of hot dogs. So I just get them naturally. Um, uh, This next one. This is from a longtime listener. First time email. Whoa.

This is Aaron. This is from a long time ago. In a sea of slow moving people leaving the stadium after a Blue Jays game. The woman in front of us says to her friend did i ever tell you about the time that pat's brother fell into a vat of oil that's how a batman villain gets started oh boy it wasn't oil it was glue who fell in glue i don't know but oil would kill you i mean i'm assuming it was hot oil oh yeah maybe but i guess not if pat's brother

seemed to have survived yeah if it could be just cooled oil old oil vo5 hot oil oh yeah and that you can't just pour that down the sink you got to bring it to a vo5 hot oil oh sure i am well no i know these hippies who's uh vw van runs on VO5 hot oil. Well, why would your, don't you like wash your hair to get oil out of it? Yeah. Why would you put oil, is oil good for it? It's hot oil. In the commercials, there seemed to be curly, maybe it was for curly haired people.

Limit the frizz? is that what it is or i don't i mean i don't know nothing about no hot oil yeah i'm i'm constantly fighting oil out of my face yeah i'm always i'm trying to remove oil meanwhile people are picking up extra oil putting it all over themselves you know what we can make a and take it to some of our oils and rub it on people's hair. I think this is a pretty good idea. I mean, I look at my fingers right now. Pretty oily. Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, you know what? Anybody want some of this? Yeah. Yeah. We're going to be. You know where to find me. How do we package it?

I don't know. Do we just like our daily head oil? Yeah oil yeah i mean i guess we scrape our faces yeah i mean i guess uh my phone seems very good at capturing a lot of us true so you could just come and uh you know rub your face all over yeah sure or um like a uh a window. Yeah. Press your face up against a window and go, make your lips go all funny. Have you, has Margo discovered that? Yeah. The joy of pressing her face up against the window? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How about Poppy? No. No. Soon though. Margo will teach her. Sure. This last one comes from Sam. Overheard while waiting in line at a coffee shop with no context person saying i was

almost born during a screening of crocodile dundee a screening wow yeah screening please join us for a very exclusive screening they should say that on uh like you know how on rides they'll say no pregnant women they should say that at screenings of Crocodile Dundee because it's been known to induce pregnancy because it's so much well induce labor anyway it's so romantic

that it's going to induce a pregnancy Crocodile Dundee is a movie I was thinking about because like back in the 80s the big climax to a movie was always the romantic lead and the the other romantic interest in crocodile dundee would kiss and then a bunch of people would applaud that they kissed and that seems to be like not used in movies as much as it used to be but in the 80s that was the pinnacle of the end of a movie was a crowd of people you didn't know would see you

kiss and then applaud but would if you uh kissed abby and a bunch of people started applauding would you freak you out i'd be like why are you clapping well why yeah the but like what is something would have had to have happened like the, the kiss isn't just a kiss. It's like, I rescued you. Yeah, I guess that's true. We ran and we, you know, we ran from, you know, blocks apart and we ended up together. But if you just saw two people running and then kissing, like, applauding doesn't seem appropriate. It just seems like, huh, where'd they come from?

Yeah. Why are they out of breath? They shouldn't be running on this train platform or, you know. Look out! But yeah, if anybody here has ever had a group of people applaud outside of a wedding, when you've

kissed. Oh yeah, you got a loophole. Yeah, because that's legit. That's a legit applause for kissing. But like, if that's happened to anybody in real life, I want to know. Do you have any more? No, that was it. Vat of oil.

Vat of oil, hot dog tree. Crocodile Dundee. And the... I forgot. Indonesian overheards that are written in. We also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, don't be a stranger because strangers are dangerous. written in we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us don't be a stranger because

strangers are dangerous all right and you gotta dial the phone number it's 1-844-779-7631 or one uh spy pod one like these people have those Those cold Vegas nights. Oh, shut up, Invisible. Hi, Dave and Graham and possible guests. Nope. I was calling in an overheard. Last night I was eating dinner at a kind of nice Italian restaurant. And I was in the bathroom waiting.

There was a teenage girl standing next to me and she was waiting on her friend who was in the bathroom stall. And her friend was clearly very upset. You hear a lot of crying going on from in the bathroom. And I waited maybe four or five minutes. And finally, the friend who was standing next to me called out, Sarah, if you don't get it together and come out now, I'm leaving. And she kept crying. And her friend said, we have to go back to the table. And she said, I'm sorry.

I'm just so upset about Doctor Who. Peter Capaldi is such a good actor. Okay, thank you. just so upset about Doctor Who. Peter Capaldi is such a good actor. Okay. Thank you. So, was that a guy that was no longer the Who? Yeah, he's the guy from In the Loop. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was really good.

Who's the new Doctor Who? A woman. But I can't operate on this time machine. Yeah. But that's like uh not recent i mean i assume it's still this woman yeah uh doctor who's something i like to like lost in space like to keep my distance from i like to you know oh there's a new one? All right. Yeah. Off you go. Yeah, and unlike Lost in Space, I don't think Doctor Who has a catchphrase. Oh, sure he does.

He does? Yeah. We're in the, well, okay. The thing about the TARDIS is only one of us can go in it. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's the catchphrase. That go in it. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's the catchphrase. That's pretty good. Yeah.

Yeah. Memorable. The thing about the TARDIS is only one of us can go in it. I mean, it works better with a bit of an accent in it. But off we go. Why am I saying that?

Yeah, why are you saying that? I don't need a catchphrase. No, no, no. You got plenty. Hi, this is James Colling with an overheard of the Darnedist Variety. That high is for Dave Graham and Probable Cast, of course. I think that goes without

saying. Just exiting the grocery store and there was a kid with his mom and he said, Hey, Mom, I met a guy at school today whose last name is Wiener and his granddad's name was Harry Wiener. And the mom turned to the kid and said whose last name is Wiener, and his granddad's name was Harry Wiener. And the mom turned to the kid and said, huh, Harry Wiener.

What a world. What a wonderful world. What a golden knight's world. Yeah. Yeah, that's always great. It's always great. Because they didn't know back then that a wiener was a dick. And also. But also, they didn't know that then that a wiener was a dick. And also.

But also, they didn't know that a dick was a dick. People named their kids Dick. And there's like a series of mystery novels and. Harry Hole? Harry Hole. Yeah. Detective Harry Hole. But that wasn't written a hundred years ago when that was a fine name to have.

It's written in modern times. And they've, like, mankind has always known about holes. Yeah. And hair. Like, someone writing this is like, yeah, but it's H-A-R-R-Y. No one's going to make that leap. That's a great opening sentence for a documentary. Mankind has always known about holes. And hair.

Did you? Give me a hit with me a hole with hair uh did you when you were a kid as puberty was approaching were you like i can't wait to get a hairy wiener was it something you were like when's this gonna happen i remember it being like just like like when is hair gonna show up? I remember it being like, just like. Like when is hair going to show up? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I had a friend who was a very hairy youth. So he got hairy very quickly.

Hairy youth? His detective hairy youth? The worst Debbie Gibson song um yeah and now I just want like I just

nair it all day yeah yeah I just wake up I nair I nair all the hair I VO

I VO5 in the morning I nair in the evening nary hole over here here's your final overheard can I stop podcasting so this is Kyle Virginia I was standing in line for the Toto Whirl at

Hershey Park what highway is that off? middle school age boys next to me suddenly another boy ran up across the fence of the line and yelled out hey guess what Josh just won $22 in gum!

And the tallest boy that was standing next to me quickly replied, Well, I have $65 in gum. And then the other boy said, Well, it's not a competition. $65 in gum. Oh boy. You'd need at least a backpack to carry that much.

Do you buy your gum at Costco? No, I buy it at the pharmacy. They sell it in packs of four. You're a big gum head. Oh, I love it. But $65 worth, this is like Bitcoin money. Yeah, yeah, oh boy.

I'm just going to start mining for gum. Yeah, I think that's a smart play because Bitcoin's already over, I think. Yeah. But gum, a lot of people don't know. It's the new, new Bitcoin. There was an intermediary one that I assume was... I think sort of like, yeah, gelatin. Yeah, something like that um and uh I guess that's the end of the show what about me oh yeah what do you got coming up invisible oh well you'll be appearing uh I'll check out my new web series on uh youtube, YouTube. That's a good platform for web series.

I know. I'm just gonna be chilling all summer. Oh, yeah. Aren't you a mystery writer? That? Me? Yeah, I think that's what we introduced you as. The Nary Hole Mysteries. The Nary Hole Mysteries.

Well, you know, keep your ears posted to uh naryhole.com naryhole.com and uh those are those are good books they're for all ages yeah they're on penguin oh

invisibly oh invisibly oh oh he's flying out the window oh he's giving us the finger oh weird uh well that was weird it was weird but you know it came as mysteriously as they arrived uh-huh and then as they arrived yeah um that's how i hope to go um now uh if you out there, if you want to, you know, hang out online with the podcast. Yeah.

Join us on the line. Yeah. On the line? On the line at Stop Podcasting on Twitter. Yep. Got a Facebook page. Got a Facebook page. This will be out on the 18th, meaning that next week we will be in Ontario.

There's still time to get your tickets to see us in Toronto. Yeah. On June 30th. And two days before that, in Ottawa on June 28th. Tickets available on the internet. Go to MaximumFun.org. And the episode post for this episode, I'll put a link there. And you know what?

If you're in Montreal this summer, I'll be at the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival. Just for real? Just for real, I'm gonna be there. So if you want to see some comedy shenanigans, I'll be making the scene.

Shenanigans? Yeah. Bananigans. Yeah yeah if you want to see some bananas and uh if you just want to eat drink some hennigans yeah shenanigans skywalker over here and uh you know what if you like the show please tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported