Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 536 - Christine Bortolin

Episode Date: June 25, 2018

Christine Bortolin returns to talk high school parties, kids with colds, and New York City.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 536 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who refuses to enter into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Mr. Dave Shumpert. And I've been asked a lot. You've been invited in. Yeah. Yeah, we want you in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Marvel Cinematic Universe, we want you to enjoy our many, our Black Panthers, our Spider-Men, our, help me out here, guests. Vision. Yeah, Vision. Vision? Who's Vision? He's kind of the most British. He's like the most British of them. Who plays Vision?

Paul Bettany? Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. It could be recast because he's wearing a lot. Yeah, he's wearing kind of... He's like all CG. I like him.

Yeah. He's quite good. He's quite good in the movie. He's smooth. I do like him. I do so like him. Is Doctor Strange British? Yeah.

No. No, he's not. He's not. But he's played by a British actor. That's so weird. It doesn't get more British than Benedict freaking Cumberbatch. It's true. Oh, boy.

That guy. He's, uh. Emmett Hall one time showed me a bunch of hilarious photos that Benedict Cumberbatch posed for for magazines. And he poses for the silliest photos. Like there's no pose that he's turned down from a photographer. It's like when a photographer has one more picture. Now just do a silly thing. And Benedict's like, you got it.

Where's the horse? After a couple of times, everyone else realizes, oh, that's the picture you're going to use. I'm not going to do that. Our guest today, returning guest of the podcast. Very funny. It's Vision, everyone. From the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

It's Christine Bordelon. Hello. Hi. Thanks for joining us. Thanks for having me back, guys. Absolutely. It's a return visit. Wow.

It's your, like, your probably third, fourth, fifth. I don't know. Something like that. And every time I have to scroll through my old Facebook messages to find your address. Nice. That's what people would do. I try to do it from memory, but. Does Graham not send out? Graham books the guests.

Do you have, like, a form email you send people no no i keep it real casual yeah i say let's play racquetball and then casually during the game i say what are you doing next week podcast wise do you know that racquetball has been uh it's been like it doesn't exist anymore because squash is totally just like what's uh what's the difference no i don't know the difference there is totally just like What's the difference? I don't know the difference. The ball. Is it the ball? There is a difference

but I'm not. And the size of the court? It couldn't be the size of the court. What can you play against a wall? Like just a regular wall. I honestly

someone told me that once and like I I have nothing to back it up but I was told that no one plays racquetball anymore. It's all squash. It's all squash. It's all squash.

And then does anybody, is handball a thing that people play on that same type of court? Or am I making that, is handball even a thing? Handball is a thing, but there's European team sports handball, where you're trying to get it in someone's goal. Oh, I see. And then there's the handball that all the local comedy people do. Oh, I see. And then there's like the handball that all the local comedy people do. Oh yeah, that's what I'm thinking of.

That's what I'm thinking of too. Against an elementary school wall after hours. Don't worry. Usually during the summer when the school's out. And it's the best. It's so much fun. I haven't done it in years. Me either.

You know what? Because a game would get organized and then everyone would show up half an hour late and I'd be there scratching my ass. Let's get to know us. Oh, yeah. Get to know us. But handball's not something you play, like, in a club.

Like, this is like stickball. It's something that just happens out on the street somewhere. I feel like it does. I don't know. I've never seen, like, community center handball. Yeah, me neither. But I don't know why, because it seems like a very. I think it's because those little courts are for two people.

Maybe you would play it in a gymnasium. Fun. Fun. But who's renting a gym? What kind of group of pale nerds is kicking basketball players off? We got the court from 330 to 345, guys. The only time I go in a gymnasium is to vote.

That's my only gym exposure. That's my only gym exposure. I mean, they haven't changed much since my high school days. I go there quite often now with the children because events are there. People will rent one out for a birthday party. And it's funny, like you go into any gymnasium now and you look up and there's, I guess Mylar balloons didn't exist when we were kids, but like they,

they stay up there forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just takes the tiniest bit of, of helium to keep them up there.

Yeah. It's, yeah, we really do live in like the golden era of Mylar balloons. Christine, what's going on with you?

I just got back from an improv festival called Combustion. Whoa. Where's that? Toronto. Okay. Yeah, it was really nice, really fun. Did they put you up in a nice hotel?

We were put up in like a frat. Oh, okay. Sure, sure. Really like a frat? Or a dorm. Dorms? I don't know. I don't know.

I never went to- Barracks? Was it barracks? Or a dorm? Dorms? I don't know. I don't know. I never went to. Barracks? Was it barracks? It was a trench. Oh, cool. In a fancy trench. Yeah, it was. Was it at the University of Toronto?

It was across the street. Oh, okay. And it was like an old heritage building. Okay. Where all the doors have locks on them but then you share like the bathrooms and stuff like that huh okay i shared i i shared a room with uh someone i went there with with that kelly augmanson oh yes very funny improviser and she uh and yeah we just like uh it was like a sleepover the whole time what do you do during a sleepover? Giggle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Say you're not tired yet,

turn off the lights, talk about how you're not tired. What do you really think of God? I thought it was going to be like gossip stuff. Like what do you really

think about Todd? What do you really think about God I like that and what's your answer oh there's just so many layers yeah that's true here's my answer if he's real he's got some splaining to do

he's got a big pair of balls that guy this is his plan honestly guys I feel like we're living in that guy. Yeah. If this is his plan. Honestly, guys, I feel like we're living in like the dystopia. Right, guys? Every day.

Every day, something new with this guy. So, did you sleep at all during this time? Because it seems like it would be so much fun to just stay up

and have sleepover fun. Yeah. And the, well, okay, there are a couple of factors. First off, we're here and three hours ahead is Toronto. So it felt like it was younger. That's not the right word. It felt. Time was younger.

Time was younger than it was. Absolutely. So like it's midnight there. It's 9 p.m. You're not ready to go to bed. They had a bar. They had their bar license until 4 a.m. In the place? Which is only 1 a.m. here. Yeah. You're not ready to go to bed. They had their bar license until 4 a.m. In the place?

Which is only 1 a.m. here. Yeah. Oh, not in your. At the comedy venue. Oh, okay. Bad Dog Theater. Yeah. Cool.

And then everyone's so nice and just hang out. And the first night I just read a book until like 7 a.m. Whoa. It was a terrible choice. The one night that I wouldn't have to like do something social. You still stayed up all night. I just finished a book. What was the book?

I don't even remember. Oh, really? Come on. No, but let me try. How many books do you read? I read a lot of garbage. So it's harder to remember for garbage. What kind of garbage?

Like a mystery that was published on Amazon. Oh, cool. Only? Yeah. Wow. Something like bed and breakfast and murder, I would say. I just really like. You like murder?

I think I like to just through a straw suck in stories. Okay. And you can get them cheaper if you just go on Amazon. You know, men is a storyteller. Like, that is what we are. Like, I just feel like ever since we painted on caves, it's just been like, it's what we do. Wow.

You know, like, we have these stories that just, like, last throughout the sagas, sagas, sagas, that just go through the eons. Bed, breakfast, murder. Just go through the eons. Bed, breakfast, murder. So why don't you go to something, let's say, like the library, and get a book that's like a good book for free?

Yeah. You know, that's a great question that I did not consider. She's like, where can I get cheap books from? I mean, I read them really quickly, so. I guess Amazon. Whoa. That's very, is that very millennial of me? I guess. I don't know.

That was stupid. Is this a hard copy book or a Kindle book? It was a Kindle book. Okay. So it was like five bucks. But it would have been free from the library. But then you got to. You got to go to the library.

You got to go to the library. You got to have, you got to take responsibility for this thing. Yeah, that's true. But it's one of, it's like one of those responsibility experiments where you have to keep a bag of flour or whatever, you know, like to see. Put a diaper on a book. See, see what level you're at responsibility-wise. I actually got in, okay, we, in a big way, we got into this trashy reality TV show called Are You the One? And TV produced.

What's the premise? Is it the letters R-U-the-One? R-U-T-H-A-1? No, they spell it out. Okay. I'm surprised? Um, oh. Are you T-H-A one? No, they spell it out. Okay. I'm surprised by that, actually. But, okay, well, basically it's 22 dummies, and they put them in a house. 22, 22-year-olds, maybe?

Around 22. Okay. Between 21 and maybe 25. They put them all in a house, and then they have to determine who their perfect match is, because they've gone through like a bunch of interviews and like oh so done a bunch of tests like a computer has predetermined their perfect match and they they have to figure out who in the house is it all uh um heterosexual yes so far oh but one person because like that would really that'd be funny if the computer determined well

you're you may not know this But you're gay Yeah And then the person's like Keeps Why am I not getting this right? Why were there 13 men and 11 women?

Anyways I'm a dummy I'm not good at math They get to like vote One So every week They get to Send someone into the truth booth

Where they Where They have like send someone into the truth booth. The Jamba Juice truth booth? Where they have to be scanned. They have little green lines, so they pretend like they're scanning them, their bodies in the truth booth. This is great. Like they're in the matrix? Yes. Or like a grocery store. And then it says on the screen

if they're a perfect match or no match. If they're a no match then they know that they aren't supposed to be together and they have to look for other people in the house. It's like, guess who? It's like, is my perfect match redheaded? Yeah. Is my perfect match half-blasted?

And a lot of the time after they aren't perfect matches, they just stay together anyway. They're like, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to find love. But it's like, no, they're like, this isn't a game. But yes, it is. But if you find your perfect match, then what?

Okay. So if they all find their perfect matches. They all have to? By the 10th week. Yeah. By the 10th week. I think they're only in the house for like a month and a half.

Six weeks? I feel like it would be like, well, there's 11 to choose from yeah I can rule these like four out

they never do the math they never do the math really and they stay together after they're supposed to after they know they're not matches it's the truth food

it's not the math bath oh man I love I love that there's people who are just going against the very premise of the show yeah and like so in the end

if you get it all right in time then you win a million dollars split between 22 people okay but a lot of the time they don't realize it's split between 22 people so when they interview them they're like what are you gonna do with your money what am i gonna do with my money with my million dollars i'm gonna get a bugatti you you got you won forty thousand dollars yeah minus tax because it's income right yeah oh boy but they don't think about that or probably pay tax so but that's uh i feel like that's an ongoing thing on like uh like cooking shows they'll say what are you gonna do with the money and it's like i'm gonna do with the money? And it's like, I'm going to buy my parents a house. And it's like, 10 grand for the winner of this cooking show? Well, I guess, like, we live in a city where everything is so expensive.

But there are, you know, places where you can get houses for five figures. Yeah, that's true. But, you know, I assume everyone on television lives there. They also have to do challenges. Like there was one I was watching last night where they had to lick stuff off of a tray. And if you lick enough, then there's a description of a character trait of one of the women. a description of a character trait of one of the women. So then the guy would have to pick it up

after he licked it clean and then put it on a board to guess which woman it was to win a date with her. Is it his match or is it just some woman? Just, he doesn't know. He's guessing.

Right. But what kind of character traits? Is it like integrity? Yeah, it's like that. Family and friends was one. What does that mean? I don't know. Wow. But what kind of character traits? Is it like integrity? Yeah, it's like that. But like how? Family and friends was one. What does that mean? I don't know.

Family and friends? And then there's one that's like sex. But they're all going to put sex. Well, maybe not. What are my character traits? Yeah. So this is an MTV show? Yeah. Yeah. So this is an MTV show? Yeah.

Yeah. In a million years, if given enough time, would you ever come up with this concept? Like if you were like, we need a reality TV show concept, would you ever think, okay, well, there's 22 people and I'm going to match them up by computer. I'm going to scramble them in a house. Then I'm going to make them do activities. And then if they win, they have to split a million dollars. The host got so mad last season. You've seen seasons and seasons of this?

There's been more than one season? Oh, they just finished the sixth season. And they just filmed the seventh oh wow wow but the the host said um at one point people were arguing and the host went everybody shut the fuck up and they kept it in so it's it's there's been seasons. How many of the seasons has had a winner? Five. Wow. I just watched last night the season that didn't win.

And oh, it's great. And they had a season where people. Did they come close anyway? They came close, but they had a strategy. They keep saying the word strategy, but really they just are like, okay, well, let's figure out who has like sat with each other every week. And how many, like you get a beam of light for every correct couple. It's like that Price is Right game where you hit a button and some of them are right and some of them are wrong. And you have to put the right prices on the right things.

Wow. This is amazing. It's amazing. And people will actively pick the wrong person in the voting because they want to prove that they love them. This person they met four days ago. Are these people having sex? Oh, yeah. There's a boom boom room upstairs.

Room of sponsored boom boom room. That makes it much, I think makes it much harder to then break up and find your real man. Yeah. Oh, and they all sleep in a communal bed. They all sleep in a communal bed. Oh boy, they're really, they're really bottlenecking it

so that things happen. Like a big 22 person bed? Yes, and then people will exit the room to go upstairs to the boom-boom room. Wow. How many couples can the boom-boom room accept at a time? Well, there's only one bed, but who knows? Yeah, but these people, they understand one bed to suit 22 people. Yeah, they're the bucket family.

They are the bucket family. Oh, man. How did you discover this show? Just some other improvisers told me about it. That's amazing. Yeah, and we just tucked in because we were away. We were staying up late. Yeah, that's classic sleepovers.

Like, watch just multiple episodes of something. We always rented movies yeah movies and then i would like something that maybe had a boob i had a boom boom room well like rent movies or rent a video game that was another big sleepover tradition and then but then like we would just watch whatever happened to be on at one in the morning, which was usually like some infomercials, some. George Michael's sports machine. What about the Red Shoe Diaries? Yeah.

Or one of those like half hour, um, you know a chat line commercial but there's no no one telling you to call anything it's just women in bikinis yeah and a weird cover band playing hootie and the blowfish you know what i'm talking about yeah and then there was also there'd be like uh ads for it was like a collection of you know albums from an era and they would play the songs over and over and over again and so I still know that fragment of that song

what song it was preceded by and what song followed it and you'd be looking at the list of songs but only the ones that are highlighted in yellow are the ones that's right there you go John Sebastian is hosting it but only the ones that are highlighted in yellow are the ones that's right. There you go. John Sebastian is hosting it.

Oh, man. Yeah. And, like, I remember, did you do sleepovers when you were a kid? Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Was there ever a sleepover where there was, like, an older sibling that was like that was also up late and you're like what are they doing in their room something something that smells like a skunk yeah something once i was at a sleepover this is it got weird we rented the craft okay Okay. And a Ouija board. Well, that was popular too.

Yeah. But we rented the craft and we watched it. And obviously we thought it was so cool. Of course. It was like witch Spice Girls. Perusa Spice. Yeah. But then, yeah, the mom of my friend came home and and she was quite religious, and she made us turn it off.

And then she printed a whole stack of verses from the Bible and highlighted a bunch of the ones about witchcraft. That's such a nightmare. Yeah, just sit through. Oh, boy. Horrible. Oh, boy. So printed them off, highlighted them.

Highlighted the most important parts. Yeah. With the one in overhead projector. Circled bits. And they made you read them? Yeah. Wow. It was an exercise.

Oh boy. Punishment fits the crime though. Yeah. We also, one time we had a crush on Christian Bale because he was in Little Women. And then we rented American Psycho. You're younger than we are.

Ooh, that was so scary. I'd be like, the movie's scary or the fact that the parents might come in and make you read Bible verses about returning videotapes? I think the scariest thing would be if one of us discovered that like, this is when we found him sexually attractive. Oh, he was, he was so like buff. He was so buff in that movie.

Yeah. And then there's like a scene where he's like kissing his own bicep or something. Yeah. While he's having sex. Yeah. Uh, but.

Prime for 10 year olds. Oh man. uh but prime for 10 year olds oh man you're too young for little women that's like uh someone falls through the ice i think i haven't seen it or read it but like yeah that's the exact that's the exact type of movie you would watch. Jerry's Leaveover. Something that's like wildly inappropriate. I mean, I can't think of... That you maybe knew one little bit about it.

You liked the cover of it. You're like, this guy was in Newsies and now he's in this. This guy was in Newsies, and now he's in this. Just 10-year-olds being like, even the non-scary parts are not fun for 10-year-olds. Where they're analyzing each other's business cards. Oh, man. Just picturing a bunch of 10-year-old girls, just eyes super wide.

That was what it was. Huddled together on the leather couch. I hope this hooker gets away. Why is he putting on that rain jacket inside? Who's Huey Lewis? Oh, boy. Oh, man. Who's Huey Lewis? Oh, boy. Oh, man. That's perfect.

Yeah. Do you ever have that sleepover where you couldn't fall asleep? That would always freak me out because everybody else is asleep, and then you just have to lie. There's nowhere for you to go. You can't go up because I feel like if you went upstairs or downstairs, wherever you were located, then you're going into adult world. Oh, the worst was if you were the first one awake. Oh, yeah.

And you could hear the grownups walking around in the morning and you would just have to pretend to be asleep because you don't want any part of it. No, yeah, exactly. What are you going to do? I guess maybe you could get early on the sugary cereals if they had some of their whatever. Then you'd have to talk to them. Yeah, that's true. I'm really going to eat my cereal through a surrogate.

Have you guys seen American Psycho? It's great. Jared Leto gets it. He's in that, right? He's in the Huey Lewis scene. That's him. Oh, is it? I don't remember. Jared Leto is kind of

like, it was popular for a while to have him in a movie and then have him chopped up or beaten up. Yeah. He was so pretty. He was so pretty. I mean, still is, right? We all can agree. Yeah.

Very pretty, pretty man. Too pretty to play the Joker. There, I said it. Right? Yeah. You know who would be a good Joker now? Christian Bale. Right? Whoa. Flip it around would be a good Joker now? Christian Bale. Right?

Whoa. Flip it around. He did Batman for so long. Now make him the Joker. Why not? Whoa. Yeah. Did I just blow your mind?

Yeah. Yeah. This is like the library all over again. So he went to this improv festival, had a lot of fun, had sleepover fun. Yeah. Watched a reality show Yep To death Yeah

Have you now seen every season? No No but I'm getting there Yeah There's 10 45 minute episodes per season And where are you getting them? MTV.ca Oh really?

They're all on there Legally Oh man Legally I know You have to watch all these stupid ads And they're the same ads That's the worst thing about. Legally. Legally. I know. You have to watch all these stupid ads. And they're the same ads. That's the worst thing about streaming.

It's the same body wash commercial over and over. Like they're dancing. And I hate watching people, actors, forced to dance in commercials. Because they all look just sick. Do you think any of them got paid or were they all forced to do it? Two got paid, I bet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The rest, you can't see their faces on purpose.

What was the ad for? No, you don't have to say the product name, but what was the genre of ad? The genre was, it was like a Radio Shack. I don't think that, I don't think that exists anymore. No, I'm like, what's like a Radio Shack? Maybe best? No. Oh. No, I'm like, what's like a Radio Shack? Maybe Best Buy? No. Oh, wow.

I'm lost. Now there's one left. Well, the Radio Shack became the source here. Was it for the source? Yes. Yeah. Whoa, you guys figured out the mystery. Yeah, we're pretty good at this.

And anything else exciting going on in the past year since you've been here? I don't think so. I'm living in the same place. Let's go through the past year. Yeah, you're in New Westminster. Yeah, usually when I come here. In your weird rent control department. Yeah.

Yeah. You're weird like you had to prove you were poor to live there. Yep. And some people in the building don't respect people that make less. Oh, because it's mixed? Mixed income? Yeah. So.

How do they know? Do you have different colored doors or something? They don't. They just, there's lots of goss in the building, I guess. And so. Goss. Hot goss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. goss in the building i guess and so goss hot goss yeah yeah and so i don't know any of it

but i've heard some from others and oh yeah there's some pretty wild people in the building but uh they these people were complaining to me about them because i guess they assume that I am not a non-market person and I, they're really nice and they live across from me. So I, I just haven't said anything. But you're privy to the inside scoop. They're talking about other people. Yeah. And like, they don't obviously don't know how poor I am.

And I don't want to say anything because they're so nice and they're obviously going to feel terrible. They hear that they're so nice and they're obviously going to feel terrible. They hear that they're talking trash. Are you ever in the elevator with them and they're like, oh, we're going to get our car out of the garage.

Where are you going? The bus stop? Oh, I'm just going to walk. I'm just going to go out and walk. Such a nice day. Why are you coming to the garage too to get your car? The Bugatti you won from that game show.

They think you're rich because you were on that game show. Also, can you imagine winning a million dollars and just buying a million dollar car? Oh, yeah. And then just setting yourself back right to zero. The insurance putting you in debt yeah getting a ding on the bumper and being like oh i can't afford to fix this there was this party show though in in toronto that was fun where we uh it's an improvised party show where like everybody's like sort of like dancing around and drinking and then you break into like you tell stories about parties and i realized i didn't really have a lot of party stories but i did have the story of the first party i ever went to as like a teen and we sent

out invitation this is the same person's house as uh as the craft oh it's a craft yeah oh boy you should have learned your lesson whoa but so we sent out invitations and like we weren't cool as the craft. Oh, it's a craft. Oh, boy. This is the danger zone. You should have learned your lesson. Whoa. So we send out invitations and like we weren't cool, but all the cool people were going to come

and it was like, we were like 12 or 13 years old, just feeling real cool. Were you in high school, junior high? No, we only had the two, elementary and high. I feel like it was grade eight.

So it was high school yeah and so everybody came over we had some you know big shiny tunes on or whatever and then the power went out act of god and then our parents got freaked yeah it, or a witch. It was our fault. So they locked the doors. The parents did? Yeah. The parents were home for this fun party? Yes.

They were upstairs. And then they locked the doors. I hear that these anti-craft parents were like, yeah, sure, have a party. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think they expected it to be what it was. They locked the door. They wouldn't let anyone leave. So we were all in the dark.

And then her mom started playing the piano. we were all in the dark and then her mom started playing the piano like playing in the dark? yeah like requiems like the sad heavy shit it was

by candlelight barely we were just waiting until everything went back on there was a stew for us to eat it was a party stew

somebody spiked the party stew needless to say it didn't make us more cool but like this mother is the

the best at punishment. She's like, she figured out the most perfect punishments. She's like Kathleen Turner in the Virgin Suicides. It's just like, how do I

punish my kids? Lock all the doors and everyone has to listen to me play scary piano. in the dark and we were all just young enough that we figured a locked door meant we weren't going to leave older kids would just be like absolutely not

I'll unlock the door although if she started playing piano I'd be like I'm curious to see where this is going this might come in handy for a podcast later. Discovering some new terrifying emotions about death. What about parties? Do you guys go to parties? Yes.

No. Fast yes. Yeah. I went to, I probably went to two a year in high school that's a fair amount that's 10 parties the thing that was uh in calgary i don't know if this is a universal thing but in calgary you would just there was no like in movies there was always somebody would answer the door at a party and not let you in but you would just hear about a party and you just walk into it. Yeah.

And it was just like, there was no barrier to entry. Like nobody was like, what are you doing here? The fact that you sent out invitations for this party. Young to do that. Old. I think you're old to do that. Yeah. Like I think, I remember I had a birthday party in grade seven and I was so nervous about it because it was like, okay, now people are talking on the phone to each other now.

So no one is sending invitations. Everyone's just calling up the people they want to invite. Oh, yeah. Whoa. We did it as like a craft. Like the craft. The craft. It was our craft.

Oh, they're beautiful invitations. I bet. They're useless. oh they're beautiful invitations i bet but there was no invitation so it's just you just show up at these whoever's uh parents had the lack of foresight to uh you know have somebody look after their kid when they went on a vacation and every time something would get broken there was always uh there was always something getting broken. There was always somebody was having a breakup. And then there was always some sort of team effort to either repair the thing that got broken or find a thing that had gotten lost or something like that. Sometimes a rival high school people would show up and there'd be like a fight.

Sometimes a rival was playing. Sorry, Amy Adams. arrival uh high school people would show up and there'd be like a fight sometimes arrival was playing sorry amy adams yeah sometimes somebody would have the laser disc of arrival but it was uh yeah like a like uh sometimes another school would show up and then there'd be a tussle did you bear spray was popular for that at my school. Oh, really? There was a fight. It would just be one spray

and then they'd run away. That's a good slogan. Really? That's a really good way to break up a fight. What about a jungle room? Did you guys have? Okay,

no, yeah, no, we, I did, I did have a jungle room, but I want to know what your thoughts

on a jungle room are. Well, in my school, a jungle room was like the room covered in, like they took all the mattresses and stuff and they put them on the floor and then it was kind of like the boom boom room. Oh, the boom boom room. For teens to party. To neck?

Yeah, neck, bottom parts. Yeah, yeah. Everything. Upstairs, downstairs. Sure. No, we didn't. I don't think that anybody had that level of planning in our. That's fair.

I never, like the reason I didn't go to many parties is because no one wanted to neck me. And I never, I didn't drink until I was a legal citizen. So there was really nothing for me except to just be out late. Which, but there's so much TV on at home. So there was really nothing for me except to just be out late. Which, but there's so much TV on at home. Yeah, I feel like the other thing in Calgary was that if you went to a party and it was out late, that you'd end up having to sleep there most of the time because it was so cold. You couldn't walk home and you were too drunk to drive.

And you're not, no matter what your parents said, you are not calling them to come pick you up. So you end up sleeping at a lot of times a stranger's house and a lot of times just on the floor. And teens are good at that. Teens bounce back for that kind of thing. But yeah, there was, I know one time a guy set up something called a Hawaiian hot box. Whoa. Which was. This is when everyone smokes a doobie or multiple doobies.

Multiple doobies. In a room with a bathroom with the shower going. Yeah, with the shower going so that it's like you're just breathing in this misty pot. Oh, does it work? It works. It works so well that you can't get the smell of pot out of the bathroom. Oh, yeah. And the water makes it Hawaiian?

Yeah. It's like a steam. You're like sitting in this hot, steamy room. Hot, steamy room with a bunch of teens. Teens steamed. Oh, yeah. But like, then I remember, yeah, like the guy opened the window in the bathroom. He was like, okay, we'll let it air out. And then hours later, still just reeked like it would just been smoked.

I remember the first time I smelled pot, my neighbors went away and their kids had a huge party and like huge party. Like people were, I think their front window got broken up. There's someone threw their TV through the front window. Whoa. Yes. Classic. And like, I just remember like we would be yelling out the window at people peeing in our yard. And like, that's how I knew what pot smelled like. we would be yelling out the window at people peeing in our yard.

That's how I knew what pot smelled like. Pot is being legalized. I'm still going to, when I smell it, look around to see who's doing it. I know it's pretty much legal now, but anytime I walk through the neighborhood and I smell it, I always look to see who's sinning. Who's there?

Who's doing it? Well, you can get it in a vape pen. Oh, yeah. Does that make it smell not? I think yes. Yeah. But, I mean, I'm sure people will still choose to just smoke it like a regular. Yeah, I guess so, eh?

I don't know. If I never drank until I was legal, will I now, now that pot is legal, am I going to be a big pothead? You're going to become a big pothead. Oh, okay. Oh, you got to get some loose shorts. They wear a lot of loose, long shorts. No, but I. Jersey.

Like. I have such beautiful legs. You want to wear a form fitting shirt. Yeah. Yeah. But you know that as it becomes legal and as it becomes more like mundane, there's going to be people who discuss it like wine. Absolutely.

I feel like that's already happening. Yeah. Yeah. That's going to take a lot of fun out of it. Kids are going to have to go for, they're going to have to find some other high. Witchcraft, the natural high. Stew, the natural high.

The party stew. We're having a stew party. Somehow it's thick and somehow it's thin at the same time. Oh, but like, if you think people talk about wine like snobs, there's definitely stew snobs. You have a flight of stews. No, this one's sort of oaky. This one we use little tiny potatoes. Dave, what's going on with you?

Nothing. Nothing is ever going on with me anymore. I feel like every episode I'm just talking about dad stuff. Well, you're a dad. It's good content. The kids have been sick like for a month. Oh, boy. With just like runny noses and stuff.

And then like. Isn't that just all childhood? Yeah. That's why i i'm like i'm i'm like should we be concerned about any of this but then margo was uh she had a fever a really high fever like 105 or just for a little while like it the what we've been told is if you give them medicine and the fever goes down then you don't need to worry about it. Even if the fever comes back, if it keeps responding to Motrin, they're fine. But today we, like she had to miss preschool a couple days.

And so we, today we took her to the doctor and she's fine. Good. But it's like, have you ever seen that documentary, Mummy Dead and Dearest? Mm-mm. No. It's about this mother who gets killed by her daughter because she's been keeping her daughter sick her whole life. Oh, yes.

Yeah, it's Munchausen's by proxy. Oh, right. Okay. Where she likes the feeling, I guess, of taking care of a sick kid. Right. And like everyone, you know, feels sorry for her or she gets all this attention that she likes. Right. I get it.

You're getting by proxy by proxy. Yeah. You understand. I don't, I'm not making my kid sick and I don't want her to be like sick for a really long time. And I don't want her to like have serious illness. But when she's a little bit sick, it's the best. She's so snuggly. She's so easy to put to bed.

Yeah. Yeah. She like turns down like chocolate. Oh, wow. Yeah. oh wow yeah and it's like it is that feel like you know when you're sick and like you miss a couple days of work or whatever and then then you feel better and you're like oh those days off work were real nice that kind of lying around was real yeah that was like we'll see you in eight months bathrobe yeah like i guess i guess i won't see you tomorrow dr phil like you really get into this

this groove like you're like ah price is right that's on and then that's followed by the view and then afternoon soup oh afternoon soup absolutely maybe like some weird soft drink that you treat yourself to yeah yeah cranberry ale. It's good for me. It has a ginger in it. Yeah. And then you feel better. And you're almost like, do you ever do that when you're sick? And then you're like, you know, I really took a lot of vitamins while I was sick.

And then you're like, I'm going to keep doing that. And then you don't. Then you immediately don't. I don't even know where I get vitamin C from the rest of the time. Maybe just from that one period when I'm sick and then my body knows to dole it out over the year. But Margo was like, she was, I don't know if she was delirious or she was just sleeping so hard that her dreams were so real to her. Yeah. But she would tell me things that weren't like crazy but they never happened yeah she was like i told you yesterday for halloween i want to be a witch

and you said yes okay look i don't want to fight you on this um that's pretty good as a kid that you're like I don't remember I don't know the difference between reality because reality has really got its grips on you

yeah as a kid exactly yeah you still have a fantastical imagination so yeah anything is possible yeah

you can be a witch for Halloween yeah of course you can it's like after ghost it's the easiest costume. They, like, send out samples of witch costumes in the mail. Is this, will this be the first Halloween that she kind of gets the routine of it?

No, I don't know. She liked it last year. She went trick-or-treating. Okay. So she understands there's a time, the candy. There's a time, there's a candy. Yeah. And then you go out and get... Because, like, putting that together in your head, even as an

adult, seems crazy that there's a day that we've all decided to just give strangers candy. Yeah. We're gonna all take on that financial burden and if we fall short of our financial burden we'll just turn the lights off yeah pretend we're not home be very quiet um and then yeah like no she knew last year but like it was good because it was you know we knew she would only go for half a block. Right. Yeah. What's like prime Halloween age? Eight, nine?

Ten. Yeah. I think once you're out of elementary school, you're done. Yeah. Or if you're me, not until end of junior high. What's that? That would have been grade nine. Oh, wow.

Yeah. I kept it going. Lots of people did that. Yeah. Because I still liked candy. And you know what? Still to this day, quite. Yeah. I kept it going. Lots of people did that, yeah. Because I still liked candy. And you know what? Still to this day, quite enjoy candy. The problem is that people giving out the candy assume that, you know, they close up shop at like 7.30.

Yeah. Or maybe 8. But if you are 14 and you're like, I want more candy, I'm going to go all night. You're knocking on doors at 10 o'clock. People don't want to. No. But I wonder if I could like go around at 745 and be like, you don't want this candy in your house anymore because you're going to just eat it and feel terrible. I'll take the rest.

No, but people do want it in their house. Some people do. Some people are like, I want it out as soon as I got it for the kids. Because, you know, there's people that would just dump it in the bowl at the end of the night. Yes, totally. And they're like, just take one. But really, they want you to take it. Maybe that's what I'll do this year.

Maybe that's what I'll do this year. What will you dress up as? No, no. A witch. He's just the guy. Dave said I could. He's just the guy who goes around. I'm just the guy who collects could he's just the guy who goes around i'm just the guy who collects oh yeah i was gonna ask we never got what did you did did your neighbors say anything specific to

you about the the people in your building who oh just that like it's frustrating that we pay less. And there's like a crazy woman upstairs who, that's a long story, but she basically was walking this guy's dog. And then when he said he didn't want her to walk his dog anymore because she was just hanging out at his apartment, she called his boss and he was like just starting to work for the police.

Wow. So that was a nightmare. And, and, but what if it turns out she was actually one of the rich people? Well, she has talked about how she is not. Oh,

I see. She's decided she's the advocate for the building. Oh, okay. Have you talked to her? Um, accidentally. Yes.

Okay. And then she was like, Hey, I remember you from the craft. Someone watched the craft in my house. And it was you. She was like, hey, I think. I remember you from The Craft. Someone watched The Craft in my house and it was you. She was like, I feel like I saw someone getting attacked on your floor. Is it okay if I, because I can't get up there because we can only go to our own floor. So she's like, can I buzz you and to let me up there if I need to call the police?

And I was like, I guess. And then I was like, well, well i'm gonna be away for three weeks because i'm gonna go visit my family in europe but um after that i can and while i was away in europe she called me like 35 times wow that was a bad idea yeah what do you say you can't be like no i'd like to see someone get abused yeah that's true but did she ask you for your phone no she asked me for like my buzzer code uh yeah i guess yeah what do you do yeah i don't know well you go to europe yeah you go to europe she gets the how's your european family by the way great Italy? Italy. They all want me to have kids.

Oh, sure. And I don't hear that here. So it's fun to hear. Oh, sure. That pressure. Yeah. Yeah. No one here wants you to have kids.

No. But over there, they're like, yeah. Abandoned. Yeah, yeah. Monja, monja, monja. It's great because in Italy, you can eat the way that like I eat a lot of pasta and stuff here and bread. And here, it makes me look like garbage.

But when you're there, everybody eats like that. Yeah. It's great. You go to, like, an ABC country restaurant, and it's just a pasta and pizza place. Yeah. It's great. You go to the old spaghetti factory here,

it's not even that old compared to the... Yeah, that's true. Over there, they just assume that it's old yeah it's got you know a vomitorium that's not what

you think it is you know aqueducts you need them if you have a vomitorium you need those aqueducts again it's not I've been explaining

this millions of times it's not. I've been explaining this millions of times. It's not a place people go to vomit. So, yeah, that's me. My kids were sick. Yeah, yeah. But I'm the man. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So that's the important thing. Just so sleepy and snuggly. It's just the best. Yeah, kind of like a dopey bear. Sounds like. Pretty cute. Yeah, and I'll be like, okay, you don't have to floss tonight, but you have to brush. That's what I say to my reflection in the mirror.

You know what? You've had a hard day. Just brush, hop into bed, man. What's going on with you? I went to New York City. New York City? Yeah. Get a rope.

And I went all over the place, went to museums, went to a Broadway show. What show? Book of Mormon. Book Mo. How was it? So funny.

Cool. Yeah, really funny. Josh Gad's still in it? Yeah. The guy in it, like, you can tell right away. You're like, that's the Josh Gad guy as soon as, like, in the first, second of the play. I almost called it a movie. Aha.

Movies have shaped our culture. And lots of walking around. I'm walking here. Yeah, exactly. Well, another movie. Yeah, I'm walking here. I'm walking here. And one day, I was walking past a park, and there was like an abnormal amount of guys with their shirts off.

Stretching in this park. Yeah, exactly. And so I, for hilarious joke, was taking off my shirt. And then as I was taking off my shirt, a person walked by and it was Anderson Cooper. Oh, brother. And did he see you taking a piss? Yes, he saw me. I was the only one around. Did I make the news?

Probably didn't watch that night because I knew it was going to be a friend of mine for him. Was he like, that's pale pale even for me so that was uh that was disappointing and then uh one day I went to do that year was that your only celebrity sighting other than Josh Gad that was the only celebrity was that the only yeah that was the only celebrity sighting other than josh gad that was the only celebrity was that the only yeah that was the only celebrity sighting the whole time uh but pretty pretty good one absolutely you really

kind of had a interaction and then uh one day uh was at a gallery and then right around the corner there was a goodwill and And so I went in and. Now Graham's picking up, he's got a bag full of presents for us. Oh my God. But when I walked in, there was all these people lined up and I was like, oh, this might be, this might be like where they hand out food or something like that. I wasn't like, cause it wasn't a store.

It was more kind of like a warehouse kind of space. And then. Then why were you going in it? Well, because I was just curious. It seemed like a store? Yeah. It seemed like a store.

And then as soon as I walked in, I was like, this is not a store. But then somebody, uh, released. And they said, brother,

all are welcome. Somebody opened up like a rope, like all these people were standing behind a rope and they dropped the rope and these people all ran like the running of the bulls. And it was like a center where you pick stuff out of bins. Like if you like own a vintage store or something like that. So it was people who like, and they were savage. Like they knew what bins had what and where to go to get and it was so i just joined in oh yeah yeah yeah because you buy by the pound oh cool so it's like a buck fifty a pound for clothes

and shoes and good for you joining in yeah you know but at first i was like oh shit like i've walked into something that's not for the public. And then I was something very much for the public. But you had to know what time to be there and where this was. Anyways, I've never seen anything like it. And these people that were there on time, they really knew their stuff. And they were like finding amazing things. And I was not,

I was just kept finding the same pair of pants. The same commercial for the source. Over and over. Exactly. What, uh, did you get anything? I got one pair of pants. It was basically that pair.

Um, yeah, nothing else, uh, nothing else fit or appeal to me, but, uh, I saw people like, fit or appealed to me, but I saw people just one ahead of me, just walking away with the best shirt

or the best coolest pair of shoes or whatever. But I've never been to one of these. I know they exist, but never been to one before. Yeah, because I've heard of the high-end vintage shops here are like, they just get all their stuff from Value Village or one before yeah because i've heard of like the the high-end vintage shops here are like oh did they just get all their stuff from value village or whatever yeah they just are good at it yeah

yeah maybe there's these events yeah and i think like the running of the shirts one time i was on a plane i don't know it was like going from saskatchewan and i ran into somebody i know who runs a vintage shop here and she was going there to their vintage shop. Because they don't know how hilarious their stuff is. Like a shirt that says Saskatoon on it? That is funny.

Like that's rich. So yeah, so I got a flashback. Like, that's rich. So, yeah. Or like a curling team jacket. Oh, man. Oh, that would sell well. Or like, yeah, just like a thing, like a work coat. Yeah. There is like, why would you wear that?

But then in the city, it's like, isn't this hilarious? A work coat. Can you believe it? Like, no one does work here. I'm wearing it at a coffee shop. like in this hilarious work coat can you believe it like no one does work here i'm wearing it at a coffee shop isn't this hilarious um so i did that what else did i do just a lot of a lot of walking yeah uh because uh what uh borough were you in was in manhattan um and that's i guess where you would have seen the Broadway play. Yes.

I saw the Broadway play there. I also ate a very expensive meringue. Oh, sure. You know, like, in New York, there can be a place that just sells meringue. Yeah. And it's open all night. Yes. We never close and uh and oh the best uh like my favorite thing that i saw

when i was there and i've never seen this in real life was anderson cooper wearing a shirt yes but he had just come from a gym so he maybe you know like this this park i feel like was fitness center you know like everybody was park I feel like was fitness center. You know, like everybody was very fit except for me. That's why it was so funny that he was taking my shirt off. But I saw a guy, for real, slip on a banana peel. Whoa. He was getting out of a car and he slipped on a banana peel and fell back into the car.

He was carrying a pie and hit him in the face. But you see it in movies and stuff and you're like, it's not very funny. In real life, it's the funniest. In movies and stuff. Graham hasn't seen a talkie yet. No, it happens in American Psycho. The guy tries to get away. What's the funniest scene in American Psycho. The guy tries to get away. What's the funniest scene in American Psycho?

Probably where he's kissing his own bicep. Oh, boy. That's basically what I was trying to imitate in the park. That's for the 10-year-olds. Yeah. Yeah, so I saw a guy slipping a banana peel. Amazing. I got to flash Anderson Cooper. cooper yeah got to buy some duds

well one dud hairpants yeah yeah and yeah successful trip all around that was great yeah i'm jealous well you know what it's uh it's not going anywhere so you know it'll still be there in 10 years you could go I'll tell you where that place is so you can go pick your own rags. That's where you go buy all the championship t-shirts for teams that almost won the championship when they had to print them out.

Yeah, exactly. Should we move on to a bit of business yeah all right stop podcasting yourself is supported in part by rover the largest network of five-star pet sitters and dog walkers in north america these are all five stars. Some of them have a Michelin star. Yeah, I didn't know. I wasn't sure if dog walkers worked on the star system or if it was paws. It's the honor system. Oh, it's the honor system. Whether you need in-home dog boarding, pet sitting, dog walking, or daycare, Rover connects pet parents with dog people who will treat their pets like family.

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See them hug a dog. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then you start a little conversation about, you know, what your dog's needs are. Right. My dog is very particular. Yeah, what, what your dog's needs are. Right. Um, my dog is very particular. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He, uh. He only likes going for walks on days that end in Y.

He also, is he like, he likes having a spritz, spritz water bottle on his face. Keep himself cool. Oh yeah. He's a real diva dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, yeah. So we, uh, and it was great. Yeah, you just, and then you agree to a time and they come and get your dog.

Or if you're, you know, if you establish a relationship with them, you can, you know, have them come visit your dog, give them a key. Oh, wow. Or, you know, we're still early on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And, you know, if you give somebody a key, that's a big step. Yeah, I know, that's true. Yeah. But you don't want them to break up with you with a post-it note.

Oh, absolutely. Fine. For $25 off your first booking, visit rover.com slash stop and use promo code stop during checkout. Let's move on over, Herds. Woo-hoo. Well, Adam, we're still putting out the Greatest Discovery podcast while we wait for Season 2. What are we doing with these episodes? We've talked to a whole bunch of interesting people, like The Wall Street Journal's Ben Fritz and MaximumFun.org's own Danielle Radford.

We're kind of using this time to find ways to entertain ourselves and you while we wait for the next season so catch yourself up with star trek discovery and join us tuesday on the greatest discovery it's on maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcasts overheard overheard the segment in which we uh hear them things out there and then share them in here for you, of those of you out there. And we always like to start with the guests. Ha ha, okay. Christine, will you lead the way? Okay, this is what I've heard.

What is that, an iPhone 5? It's an iPhone SE. What's an SE? It's like a 5, but they just called it something new. It's nice and small though. Yeah. My old phone was cooler, but it was too big. Yeah. For women's back pocket jeans, get out of here.

A lot of those pockets are painted on. Yeah. Yeah. Painted on. I'm not joking. I'm not joking around. Stop laughing at me. Gold flake. Deku Pog. Okay.

So I was on the street and I heard this. Fedoras have gone through a real journey. They used to be just for detectives and men. Yeah. Then that was a journey of time when you could be one or the other, a detective or a man. You couldn't be both. Yeah. I mean, that's true.

Yeah. Who was the first female detective? Carmen Sandiego. Yeah. No! Oh, wait, I guess she was the opposite. Yeah. But she had that vibe.

She did have a vibe. No, the first female detective was Nancy Drew. Oh, okay. Yeah, Nancy Drew. She was a child. Yeah. And she didn't, yeah, and children weren't allowed to wear adult hats. There was a time when kids had to wear shorter pants than adults, and they also didn't, they weren't allowed to wear an adult hat.

And maybe, maybe it was a better time. Who can say? I mean, they still wear shorter pants because their legs are shorter. No, but you know what I mean, that they would have to wear short pants until they were like. Bloomers? Is that what they're called? No. No, what is a bloomer?

I don't know. Dave, do you know? Bloomers? Oh, boy. Are bloomers the ones that just cover a diaper? Maybe. Little shorts that. I don't know why I know that word.

There's bloomers. There's culottes. Culottes. Yeah. There's just crop pants. Oh shorts that. I don't know why I know that word. There's bloomers. There's culottes. Culottes. Yeah. There's just crop pants. Oh, boy. The world of half pants. We're going to the Gap website today.

Let's see if there's any deals on kids' pants. It's all cropped. All cropped for girls. Maybe it's a summertime thing. But yeah, like a kid couldn't wear a fedora. No. A kid had to like wear some kind of like a cap or something like that. And then I don't know what at what age they were allowed to like wear adult hats.

Bar Mitzvah. Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Here's your adult hat. Here's your fedora. Yeah. And when did the fedora get taken over by. By the coolest of the cool. Yeah.

By guys who demand their rights that they deserve? That's a pretty recent phenomenon. I don't know. Like, yeah, because there was a time when Justin Timberlake was wearing a fedora

and everybody was like, yes, please. And then that's when it happened. Then something happened right after. Because there was like between Humphrey Bogart and Justin Timberlake, there were no fedoras. I'm, again, not joking. But I mean, there were.

Stop making fun of me. I feel like there were some fedoras that guys with long hair in the 70s would wear. Because I've seen photos of like a guy in a really tight t-shirt with a fedora with long hair in the 70s would wear because i've seen photos of like a guy in a really tight t-shirt with a fedora and long hair and that was like a definite 70s look and that's the look that like um ladies fashion of like the early 2010s was like yeah it's like the fedora is tilted to the back yeah like a beret or something or something. You're also, you're Fergie. Yeah. Ah, yes.

Finally. And then, yeah, it was, I don't know, like, if they produced too many fedoras because of Justin Timberlake and then just everybody could get their hands on them. Like Jim Bros got into them. Yeah. They sold them at Lids. Like Spoken Word. At Lids. Did you say Spoken Word? Lots of Spoken Word people got into them. They sold them at Lids. Spoken word. At Lids. Did you say spoken word?

Lots of spoken word people got into them. I feel like you need like is once people started wearing them again going back to pant length once people started

wearing fedoras and shorts Right. It was the end. That was the end. Yeah. And a straw fedora. Right. Well I'm on vacation. Shorts. Yeah that's true. That was the end. Yeah. And a straw fedora. Right. Well, I'm on vacation.

Shorts. Yeah, that's true. He's wearing his vacation. I'm solving crimes here in Jamaica. Dave, do you have an overheard? I've been overseen. Okay. Okay.

This is, I was driving my car. Yeah, I was driving my, it's a hybrid, so it's silent and I have to make my own vroom noises. And I was behind a truck and it had a license plate holder, a little plastic frame. Yeah. And at the top it said, flash if you're horny and on the bottom it said no your headlights dummy wow man come on that's something that feels like a something out of the 70s i mean it's just got all it's got layers of what's wrong with it because like is this they think a woman is so horny reading it reading the top line of it

she immediately takes her boobs out and then reads the bottom line and also they can see her yeah exactly well rearview mirror

I suppose I guess so but I mean they would only they would see the lights flashing but also how do you know

that you're not part of a gang initiation if you're flashing the lights? Oh. Yeah. You've heard about that, right? No, I haven't.

Should I? Yeah. Don't flash your lights. They flash their lights at you. They flash their lights, but this is for oncoming. That's right. If someone flashes their lights at you in oncoming traffic and you flash your light back at them, they're going to come back and kill you. Whoa. I just started driving, so this is good to know. Yeah. traffic and you flash your light back at them, they're going to come back and kill you. Whoa!

I just started driving, so this is good to know. Yeah, yeah. They must have taught you about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right after parallel parking. Here are the things that may accidentally get you jumped into a gang. Like if someone to be initiated into a gang, they have to kill the first person who flashes

their lights back at them whoa yeah it's fake it's like it's never happened okay yet

but the other one is if you're if you're driving and someone is keeps flashing their lights at you from behind

oh that's a serial killer they see a killer I did know that they don't know it's a serial killer they haven't no that's right that's fair they haven't done see a killer. I did know that. They don't know it's a serial killer. They haven't. No, that's right. That's fair.

They haven't done a full investigation. They're driving along and they don't have a bunch of like note cards and red string around there.

There's no podcast about it yet. No, yeah. Now, do you have an overheard? I do. My overheard was a woman talking very loudly.

Like, you know at a loud bar when somebody's voice can even get over the loudness, the general loudness? Yeah. You're looking good tonight. Is that what people say? I have a question. Okay. Okay. Okay.

You guys be like sort of. Yeah, I know. Hey! You stole my purse, you bastard! I'm just playing. That's what she was like. And she was saying to her friend. If I knew he was going to shit talk me, I wouldn't have been so nice to him.

He's not that good looking and he does not look like Prince William. He's not. Is he good looking? Prince William? Yeah, Prince William. I remember like now everyone thought, oh, gaga for Harry. But when I was a young, when I was like, you know, the turn of the century, it was all Prince William. Yeah. Right. He was a handsome William. Yeah. Right.

He was a handsome lad. Yeah. Yeah. He was a real HL. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh,

apparently I, this is, this is what I get for watching the noontime news is, uh, you know, they've always had it off. They've always got this, uh,

people are getting tattoos of freckles because Meghan Markle's got freckles. And some people are getting tattoos done of freckles. On their faces? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird, right? That's wild. It's not a, it doesn't seem like a good decision. No, it doesn't.

I mean. But then I'm not wowed by Meghan Markle the way that most people seem to be. Or most British folk seem to be. No, I've been. Have you been wowed? I'mle the way that most people seem to be. Or most British folk seem to be. No, I've been. Have you been wowed? Well, I always have been. You know I've seen every episode of Suits. Question mark.

Yeah. Possibly. Yeah, and my favorite thing about Suits is that it's, boy, is it white collar? Is Suits, am I thinking of white collar? Yeah, yeah. At a show? Yeah. Am I thinking of Franklin and Bash?

You could be thinking about all three. Is she on Psych? She might be on Psych. She could be on Castle. She could be on any number of these shows. I did know before she was engaged or even dating this bloke. Yeah. She was.

She was a spokesperson for Reitmans. Oh, really? What? Yeah. She was. She was a spokesperson for Reitman's. Oh, really? What? Yeah. Oh, shit. She's a spokesmodel. Oh, shit.

She was in commercials and people were like, she'd be in a restaurant eating and someone would whisper, that's Meghan Markle. And the person she was eating with would be like, who?

From Suits? I'm trying to eat here. Stop pointing out people like that. It's like when your mom be like, who? From Suits? I'm trying to eat here. Stop pointing out people I don't know. It's like when your mom was like, no, you know Meghan Markle. She was four grades ahead of you. Her mother died. Now, we also have overheards sent in to us from all over the place. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org

and this first one, mostly I picked this one because the setup was so great and they just kind of breezed past it to get to the overhead, which is fine, but really the setup is this is from Hannah D. in Southern California. After an eight hour drive,

my girlfriend and I pulled up to a furry convention in a Reno casino. So this is already perfect, right? At 3 a.m. This is 3 a.m. They're pulling into a furry convention. And their room check-in system was down. So naturally, we went to get spaghetti in the lobby.

What a loose food. While you wait, enjoy some of our lobby spaghetti and we have some tortellini up on the fourth floor. As we were being seated we overheard what apparently was the end of a very serious conversation from the table. Four guys sitting next to us because all we were being seated, we overheard what apparently was the end of a very serious conversation from the table.

Four guys sitting next to us because all we were able to catch was, and she took a bullet through the tit. Whoa. I hope it went in one side and out the other. It had to or it would have been called the chest, right? Yeah. Because it would go through the back. I don't know. These are guys who...

They're doctors, Dave. Yeah, they're a bunch of furry doctors eating spaghetti, lobby spaghetti. It's just everything about that setup was so magical. Well, they can never, she can never breastfeed now because her kid would get

lead poisoning. But just poisoning yeah um but just uh just what what a fantastic tale yeah t-a-i-l yeah i would i really would that would be like if i if one hotel was having a furry convention and one hotel wasn't that would be the deciding factor of where I want to decide. Which way would you decide? I would go to the furry one. I want to see that in real life. I've seen pictures and stuff online, but I've never seen people in furry walking around. I'm interested.

Yeah. I want to see it. Right? Instead of the bodybuilding convention that's always in the hotel when we go to Edmonton. Yeah. Oh, by the way, we're going to Edmonton. Yeah, that's right. We're going to be there for the Up and Downtown Festival.

Yeah, October 5th. And if you're somebody who's competing in a muscle man competition, we'll see you there. We'll be at the same hotel as you. And we'll be like, who ate all the egg yolks at the breakfast buffet graham you'll take your shirt off again yep and then anderson or who's uh who's our local equivalent who's the edmonton anderson who's edmonton cooper yeah who's edmonton cooper um it'll be Canadian Thanksgiving weekend. So a lot of those bodybuilders will be looking like turkeys. They'll do a special

theme to where they come out and pose like they're on a plate like a turkey. Yeah. This next one comes from Katie B. From Humble, Texas. I was driving home after work one night down an almost completely empty highway.

There's a little on the side of the road, except for a couple of shady looking gas stations. The only liquor store for miles and a farmer's market directly off the four lane highway. And I mean, there wasn't even a fence separated. Someone had erected a pop-up carnival that was fully operational lights music everything but only the egg scrambler ride was running with a single child riding on it did you you saw a ghost carnival is what you saw or like if you're a kid and you're like oh i wish we had just had a carnival in our yard permanently so i could ride by myself yeah or it's a kid that threw a party and nobody showed up

yeah yeah like oh the scrambler yeah that's the one they chose what is the egg scrambler ride you in a circle yeah like up against oh is that the scrambler? It rides you in a circle? Yeah. Like up against. Oh, is that the egg scrambler? Maybe I don't know. Maybe I don't know. I was picturing it being that one that kind of tosses you back and forth. Oh, I thought it was one where you kind of stand and then they like spin you. Oh, I think of those as being called like a gravitron. Yeah, maybe I'm incorrect.

I'm going to egg scrambler ride, uh, egg scrambler ride. Oh, egg scrambler recipe. I feel like I went on that one and then I bust home. Oh, that's not the one. And I threw up in my coat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I know. I, I, I love a roller coaster. I can't do anything else. Yeah. I can't do it. I can't do a spin. I can't do a side to side. I can only go forward. Now, what about a tilt-a-whirl because you control it? No. Oh, I don't do a spin. I can't do a side to side. I can only go forward.

Now, what about a tilt-a-whirl because you control it? No. Oh, I don't know what that is then. Okay. Oh, the tilt-a-whirl is where it goes up and then you can spin upside down. Well, no. It looks like that kind of, but you just hold on and then you spin. Oh, right.

Yeah, yeah. It's a dish in front of you. I feel like I could like. Yeah, it is a dish. I could do, you know, I could do bumper boats for sure. And I could do maybe, I've never done it, but I feel like I could do a drop. I've done a drop. They're fun.

I don't know. No? There's not enough. You get one drop. And you have to pay extra usually. Yeah. That's true. Like roller coasters in your ticket price.

Yeah. Yeah. It is nice to be so high up. Yeah. And then fall. And then I just worry that like if they drop you for a hundred feet, like there's a hundred feet of me

pooping my pants. But maybe once marijuana is legal, I won't mind. Yeah, exactly. It's so high. This last one comes from Richard from Chicago. My girlfriend and I went to an outdoor concert

downtown, sitting on a lawn. A group of girls nearby were sharing a couple bottles of wine before the show. We heard one say loudly to one of the friends, we used to call you dolphin girl to your face. We called you dolphin girl for three years. To your face. We called you Dolphin Girl for three years.

To your face. To your face. You don't even remember? So don't be mad. It's always because you've got that stupid smile on your face. We used to call you Dolphin Girl to your bottle nose. To your smooth, smooth face. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in we also accept your phone calls we would be

uh you know it would be rude not to accept them yes absolutely absolutely absolutely hey you want to call us it's easy 1-844-779-7631 or one uh spyPod 1 Like these people have Hi guys And beautiful guests It's Abby calling Tell me in person It's my wife Abby I was at the grocery store today

And behind me I could hear Someone interacting with the cashier And I just hear a woman say Yeah you know you should check out the show It's super funny It's called Kim's Convenience. And it's about this guy and his family, and they have a convenience store. You'd like it.

Because you're Asian. And the cashier was an Asian woman. And then I see the people behind this apparently racist woman in line just make the most what-the-fuck face. And then the lady goes, yeah, have a nice night. Bye. And leaves all cheery. And she goes, oh, yeah, have a nice night. Bye. And leaves all cheery. And she goes, oh yeah,

you can watch it on YouTube. And I thought that was pretty funny. Wow. Off I go. Look, Kim's Convenience, it's for everyone.

Yeah, for anyone who's not Canadian, and all Canadians watch this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kim's Convenience is a show, a comedy

about a Korean family Korean family that owns a convenience store wow based on a fringe festival show that's right wow

yeah well you can watch it on YouTube which is the greatest that's very funny what there's what that shows like steal it

yeah well it's from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation you you paid for it already you did that's true that's true it. Yeah. Well, it's from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. You paid for it already. You did. That's true. That's true.

My tax dollars pay your salary. Mr. Kim's convenient. But, you know, they do need to sell ads. Yeah.

But they probably stream it at cpc.ca. Yeah, I bet they do. I didn't consider that. Well, now that

I know that this, what was the show's called? Are You the One? Are You the One. There's also Are You the One Second Chances that I bet they do. I didn't consider that. Well, now that I know that this, what was the show's? Are You the One? Are You the One. There's also Are You the One Second Chances that I'll tuck into. In a week and a half, I got four seasons to watch. Of Second Chances? No, of Are You the One, the original.

Oh, you just know how the outcomes of the season. Yeah, well, I've just watched, I uh, two and a half seasons so far. This is for sure. Uh, by, by the time this episode drops, I will have seen all of the episodes. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Um, that was Abby, my wife who called by the way. We didn't really acknowledge that enough. Hi Abby. Abby,

I love you and I cherish you. And, um, where's the remote? Oh, come on. We're not that kind of but it does go missing a lot. And like we have two TVs in two rooms

and so like we'll miss one we'll lose one remote and we'll just have to carry that surviving remote from room to room because it's the same cable remote. Oh, yeah. It works on both cable boxes. Here's your next overheard.

Hey there, this is Jenny calling from Saskatoon. I don't know if there's a time limit on overheards, but... Like 45 seconds? I wanted to share a story that happened 20 years ago, and I know it's super old, so if you don't want to air this, that's cool. But anyway, one day I was walking down Bloor Street in Toronto, and inside the Bloor Street Cinema there was Eric Stoltz,

and he was standing there in flip-flops and a pair of shorts, and there was, like, garbage swirling all around his feet. And he was talking to a fan, and all I heard him say was, yeah, it's a pretty glamorous life. And all I heard him say was, yeah, it's a pretty glamorous life. I just love that the garbage is swirling. Yeah, that was great. Like descriptive text.

Yeah. Well, I guess it is a pretty glamorous life. Did you when you had sleepovers, did you watch any Eric Stoltz movies? I don't know who that is. Did you ever watch some kind of Wonderbolt? No. Is that his most famous? Well, he was the original Marty McFly.

Yeah. What? Yeah, and then he was replaced. Before they released the movie. All right. Before they finished filming. Phew. He was in Pulp Fiction. Okay.

That's right. Yeah, yeah. I've seen it, but I'm not like a freak about Pulp Fiction. Well, I'm sorry, but it's freaks only here. He was in Mask. The Mask? Oh, that's right. No, not The Mask.

No. Mask. He was in the Cher movie, Mask. Ever see a little movie called Caprica? No. I've got to watch more movies. You've got to watch more Stoltz. Yeah.

Eric Stoltz. More Nolts about Stoltz. He looks like he'd play an angel. Oh, okay. Or he looks like the angel that got played by, oh, what's her name? In Constantine. Keanu Reeves movie. You know, what's her name?

She looks like she's from another time. She plays vampires. Tilda Swinton. Yes, Tilda Swinton. Yeah, he could probably be a Tilda Swinton. Oh, he doesn't say anything. He's the guy who has all the keys. He holds everyone's keys at the party. Oh, I do know

that! Okay, cool. I remember thinking... We made a Stoltz connection here today. I'll see myself up. Okay, here's your final overheard. Hello, Dave Graham and obvious guest.

This is Curtis from Portland calling in with an overheard. I was at my girlfriend's place, and her roommate was playing Xbox, as he always is, always, always. But over the headset, he's talking to one of his buddies, and he goes, yeah, you proved to Andrea you can go a week without drinking. Do you think Andrea will ever prove that she can go a week without cheating on you? And then there was a silence.

And then a couple of seconds later, he goes, sorry, dude, that came off way harsher than I meant it to. Yikes, Andrea. Yow. You know, but try to break your own records whenever possible. Try to better yourself. Yeah, it's been two days without a cheating incident.

Oh, wow. The one thing that really spoke to me was the roommate who is always playing Xbox. Like going to someone's house and this, every time you see this person, this is what they're doing. Yeah. And it's not because you just happen to be there during the one hour a day that they play Xbox.

Yeah. I don't have video games in my life. So there's not, I don't, you know, I don't know anybody that, I know people who play them, but I don't know anybody that I go over to their place and play a game yeah but how many people's houses do you go over to?

very few Anderson Cooper invited me over post show time I don't yeah I guess I don't go over and I really I don't either but I used to play video games I don't go over that. And I'm really, yeah, no, I'm, like, I don't either, but I used to play video games.

But I was, I don't know if, I think now it's mandatory that you have to, like, talk on a headset to play a video game. Yeah. Which sucks. And you have to, like, be insulted by kids from some other, you know? Like, and you just have to insult kids back. I mean, that sounds fun. That part sounds fun.

Being insulted by kids, no thanks. Ins. I mean, that sounds fun. That part sounds fun. Being insulted by kids. No, thanks. Insulting kids. Yes, please. I think it's a certain type of person. And then those people meet and have like a certain type of party. I went to the new Avengers movie on opening night. And then right when it was done, me and my friend were walking up the street to go home.

Right when it was done, me and my friend were walking up the street to go home. And we saw this guy in like a self-made Captain America costume. And he was coming out of Shoppers where he had bought what we could see was groceries. Which is at Shoppers Drug Mart. It's a strange place to do that. But he walked by us in this full costume. And then we walked by and we were like, oh, hey, did you see the movie yet? And he looked at us quizzically. What movie?

And then he looked down and he was like, oh, no, I haven't. I'm actually just coming from an Avengers tribute party, but in the next 48 hours, I will have seen it. Cool. What a cool guy. Which is wild. But he looked at us like, that tribute party, but in the next 48 hours, I will have seen it.

Cool. What a cool guy. Just wild. But he looked at us like, why are you asking me that question? What movie? Yeah. Yeah.

How dare you talk to somebody with my higher rank captain? Yeah. Shine my shoes or whatever you do in the army. Oh boy. I think, you know what? Like, private America, that's still a pretty high rank.

Yeah, that's true. America is what really does it. But private America sounds like some kind of weird porn. Oh, sure, yeah. Or like a Noah Baumbach movie. Or whoever made, like, Kicking and Screaming, the non-Will Ferrell one. Was that the same guy?

Oh, I've been to Prague. That's a line from one of his movies. Pretty good. Well, you know who was in Kicking and Screaming? Eric Stoltz. Whoa. Was he the older bartender? No, I've only seen the Will Ferrell soccer movie.

Christine, that brings us to the end of this episode. Do you have things, you have an ongoing show that you're part of every week? Yes, I'm part of Little Mountain Improv every Tuesday at 8.30 at Little Mountain Gallery. And I also like, I help out with the back end sort of like stuff with foxhole comedy at the Fox Cabaret on Wednesday. It's a stand-up show. Very funny. Oh, in the tiny room. So it's at 9.

Yeah, up in the production room. Yeah. I've never been. I've never been. Well, it's a room. I hear it's a fun, tiny room. It's a fun, tiny room. Lots of different colors going on.

Name six. Leopard print. What's going on? Name six. Leopard print. Pink, purple, blue, yellow, black, red. It's silver. Come on. A big silver wall. Oh, you know better than me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is it a silver wall or is it a mirror? Oh, good question. But, you know. Should it be a mirror? And, yeah, it's fun. That's a fun show. Yeah. Boxhole.

Real fun. Check it. Speaking of live shows, Dave and I, we're going to be in Ottawa. Yeah. We're going to be in Toronto. That's this week. This is your last chance. This is it.

To get tickets to these things. Yeah, you want. Ottawa, the 28th. Yeah. We'll have tickets for that on, go to MaximumFun. Yeah. We'll have tickets for that. Go to MaximumFun.org. This episode recap, there'll be a link to tickets for the Ottawa show and the Toronto show on the 30th. What are we going to do on the 29th? I don't know.

I don't know. Probably get a fro-yo. Sit down, have some fro-yo. If we're in Toronto, we're definitely getting Mr. Sub. We're taking a train from Ottawa to Toronto. Oh, yeah. And if a murder happens, everyone's a suspect. So, by the way, if you're coming to the Toronto show, expect us to just talk about the train.

Yeah. And also, as we mentioned earlier, Edmonton, October 5th. There'll be a couple other Western Canadian dates to announce. We don't know when we're supposed to announce them. But let's just say we'll also go to other cities. Yeah, yeah. You'll know when we're there. You'll sense it.

Also, speaking of live shows, I will be in Winnipeg for the Winnipeg Fringe Festival with a show called Graham Clark's Not Here. So will I be there? Nobody knows. And also, I didn't mention this last week, but this sounds serious. The fake true crime show that I've been making, it's done. It's over. That's it.

Last week would have been when you listened to the final episode, episode eight. There's eight episodes. It's so great. The team that I worked on it with is so amazing. It's, it's like, I'm super proud of it. Everyone should listen. You can binge the whole thing. They're half hour episodes. So you're, you're got like four hours of entertainment there and you'll love it.

That's a, that's a good amount of entertainment. That's half a word. This sounds serious. It's so funny. Yeah. Have you checked it out? Graham plays a small role. Yeah, I make a cameo.

Christine was not available. That's fine. And if you like the show show you can find us online at twitter at stop podcasting there's a maximum fun reddit thread you guys if you like the show why don't you tell your friends and come on back

next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself Waiting for tonight Whoa Waiting for tonight Whoa Dreamed of this night for so long Waiting for tonight. Whoa! Dreamed of this night for so long. Waiting for tonight. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.