Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 548 - Amber Harper-Young

Episode Date: September 17, 2018

Comedian Amber Harper-Young returns to talk dance crazes, chick flicks, and sunburns.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 548 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me is a man whose time is a piece of wax falling on a termite who's choking on the splinters, Mr. Dave Shumka. That's from Beck. That's right. That is correct. It's from Beck.

Yeah. What did you do a couple weeks ago? I don't know. Oh, like a song lyric? Has it been a lot of 90s song lyrics? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think because maybe every time I go on Spotify, it says, here's a mix for you. And it's just songs from the 90s.

Yeah. Seems to know that's what I want. When Chris Locke was on a few weeks ago, he was like, oh no, our episode is about the 90s again. I don't think he listens to the show and he knows that every episode is about the 90s. That's right. And our guest today, returning guest to the podcast. She's from the 90s. She's, oh yeah.

I am. Big 90s kid, right? Very funny comedian. Amber Harper Young is our guest. Hi. Hello. Hello. Now Amber's got a bit of a, she's coming off a cold.

Like some noids? Yeah. She's going to get noids in her vocal cords. She was told to avoid them. She didn't. She's got the noids. My singing career is over. Should we get to know us?

Yeah. Get to know us. Yeah. Get to know us. Yeah. You've, you lost you. Well, how long has your voice been? Two days. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. It's cause I also didn't stop doing stuff. Like I was working and. Yeah. Doing standups. And partying. No. No.

All right. If you say so. And singing. I would never. Oh, obvious. That's. Yeah. But I didn't you say so. I've been singing. I would never. Oh, obvious. That's. Yeah.

I didn't say it because it's like. Right. And you also did that like. Did you go to a high school dance and yell, hey, motherfucker, get laid, get fucked. No, but I watched people like a gasp, like doing it. I was like, what are they saying? Holy smokes. Now that school's back in yeah um have you guys gone to any uh back to school dance yeah and you know what all the kids are just doing the floss dance that's all they do that's gotta be it is that the annoying one where they go like

it's not annoying it's cool we didn't we didn't have anything as cool when we were teenagers. What did we have? We had that thing where you tried to jump over your own foot. Yeah, that was cool. That was cool. I take it back. And we had that thing where you pulled one arm out of your sweatshirt sleeve and put it in the middle and made it look like your heart was beating really big.

I never knew the whole time what that was supposed to look like. I was like, what is everyone doing when they do that? Is it your heart? No, it's like an alien popping out of your stomach. Remember the one where you sit in a corner and you put your arms all the way around your back like someone's making out with you? Yes, yes. These are all classic maneuvers. The floss dance can eat shit. We rule.

That's true. I can't believe I sold out my generation like that. You said we didn't have cool things. I was like, and I couldn't think of anything at first, but I was like, achy breaky. I think, like, did you go to school dances? I thought you were just going to say school Did you go to school?

I guess I should start with that question How many fingers am I holding up? 20 Yeah I went to them and I really liked dancing and I really probably didn't really do that though there because I was like very shy and awkward. Yeah, it was like it was like nobody knew what what a dance was.

Like, I think there was a time when like you went to finishing school and everybody learned to dance. But then that school dances, they just threw you in a gym. Yeah. Turned on music and they're like now wiggle around see how loud look how loud this is no it's like really nice like like they are grandparents or i don't know about your grandparents but my grandparents like knew the waltz and knew all these different dances so you don't feel awkward just like freaking going around in a circle stepping on each other's toes right yeah well we only did we did learn dances in

gym class we learned like square dancing oh yeah we did too but not why did we learn square dancing and why not like something like because you don't really touch because they probably didn't want it yeah you might alimony and left hey nobody puts their hand on somebody's waist yeah there's a little bit of hand wasted when you promenade when you promenade no that's hands on hand yeah it's hands on hands and then do-si-do you have your arms crossed so you're not even touching it's like bad body language there shouldn't even be a dance it's very withdrawn. Yeah. Yeah, did they? Do you have a favorite square dancing song that you?

I don't know. The only one I really remember is, And we all join hands and we circle the ring. And then you stop where you are, give your honey a swing. You swing that little gal behind. Did you just make that up? Oh, it's real. No.

I guess it's, does that count as a song if the steps are the lyrics? Or is it just song instruction? You know, I think about the time warp. It's just jump to the left and then step to the right. It's really, that's all instructional. And that's a good song. That's a good song and a fun dance. Yeah.

I feel like that's as easy a dance as there is let's do the time warp again we just we just do it even though no one can see us um so what's what's new with the amber harper young what's up yeah i'm like i'm existing that's in this climate it's pretty rough you know yeah like i did it yeah like that's true pat on the back thank you thank you um i'm gonna become a yoga instructor really yeah mid-october i start that schooling so what does that entail? You know what? I don't know yet. Okay. But like how long is their training? It's like, and I go to like the New Year. It's 240 hours.

It's hot. You're going to say it's $240. It's fine. Oh my God. They just teach me one pose. They're like, get out of here. Go teach. Yeah.

And the rest of it is really just winging it, holding on to people's hips and saying that you're out of line. We're very close, but try this. Yeah. Have you done yoga before? Yeah. Okay, because some people. I have. Maybe.

I feel like I've done maybe too much yoga for how little I know about it. What do you mean? The culture around yeah like i've done like i say like for over 10 years i've done yoga off and on okay last year pretty hard because i was dealing with you know some mental health issues that i didn't want to take medication over so just started doing yoga yoga your way out of it yeah it works honestly yoga your brain yeah so honestly it works like how many times a week are you doing a yoga now yeah five oh so so you're like i'm already here might as well make some of this oh it's like canadian comedy no one's gonna make any money oh

there's no money in yoga well Well, it's like really difficult. It's sort of like you have an amateur stage. Okay. And then it's kind of like comedy where you're doing a lot of work and not making money at first. Then you got to start your own yoga stage. That's right. Yeah, that's right. You're doing open mic yoga. Open mic yoga, exactly.

It's very similar in the way. Yeah. Because I was watching a documentary. Exactly. It's about, it's very similar in the way. That's, I, yeah. Cause like, uh, I was watching a documentary. This was like last year about the aerobics craze and like people who, uh, like in Hollywood or whatever,

who were leading classes could command like a certain fee or whatever. Okay. And it was, it was that same kind of thing. Like if you could, if you could like bring something new to the table, then. I have some ideas. Yeah?

Yeah, I got a new pose. Think of this. Modern dance slash yoga. Yeah. Yeah, I'm listening. That's cool. That's cool. Like you roll around on the floor, do it like a pose,

and then get up and do spin and, I don't know, saute? Oh, yeah. Is that a cooking term? Then into the moonwalk. Into the floss dance. Yeah. Oh yeah. So like

I've only done yoga maybe three or four times and I find it incredibly stressful which is the opposite of what it's supposed to do. So if you're doing yoga and it's stressful for you, you're not doing the right one. Oh. Yeah, you need to do a sativa.

That's marijuana. So how do you figure out, do you just have to do all the yogas? It's sort of like, kind of, but also you got to just be like honest with yourself and be like, am I, like, how in shape am I? What should I start with? Yeah.

You know? I know the answer to that question. So like what I, what I started with before, like way back when I was restorative. Cause it's like very slow, like easy poses that are just like deep stretching and it's like very uh meditative is that a good one to start with for everyone yeah everyone especially if they're not look at look at i don't know for instance graham and myself yeah would we be more suited to that or like some kind of uh well for start out i would recommend um yeah that or just a nap maybe maybe just start real easy yeah yeah just a long savasana just like a kid whatever do they do they have kids yoga can i do that no a kid will be able

to do better yoga than most like i but like i i'll be able to listen no this is very this is very this is very good because you you're gonna have to like assess students and what what type of yoga

what type would you like stop getting me nervous oh no sorry you don't have to do anything you can just take the class and never do yoga again yeah

are you gonna teach a particular kind of yoga I'm gonna learn hatha so hatha is like i guess it's like a one step up or a couple steps up from restorative so that's like a base that you learn and then you specialize after that yeah would you know what kind of kinds of yoga you've done uh i did uh i think probably one of those restorative uh i know i did one it's uh kundalini kundalini yeah and then uh one time i uh because i had a crush on a girl, I went to a hot yoga. Oh, my gosh. Oh, man.

I mean, that dissolves. If you ever are like, I just got to get out of this crush, go to a hot yoga with somebody. It really shows off your worst. I know. I just saw online, like, yoga date. Go on a date doing yoga. I'm like, yeah, maybe if you're already together. But on your first one, one of you is going fart for sure yeah yeah yeah like what's the fartiest yoga oh my gosh

i don't know actually probably the fast you that's something you'll teach you yeah yeah that would probably be like the last quarter of my schooling yeah the. The only yogas I've done, I did that one outdoor one. Oh, yeah. Which must have been just like. Yoga for dummies. Yeah. Was it like dude chilling or something? No, it was at Max Fun Con.

It was a very good yoga instructor, but it was like a 101 course. Yeah. Yeah. And I got a sunburn. I hurt my neck. And the other one. You did it too? Yeah yeah we did and i tried to well we were doing that thing we we invented a few moves the thing where you lock arms and you

go back yeah that's probably why his neck got well yeah yeah i i definitely was like trying to do something that i couldn't yeah and you know like yeah it's always smart for an instructor to just really baby everyone and the other yoga i did was prenatal yeah when you're your last trimester well it was i thought i was pregnant for a little while, but it turns out it was gas. And so that was the farty yoga. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. That's one of the big worries, I think, that people have who have never done yoga.

Honestly, I think in a class, I think I've only done it like once and it was quiet. So I was like, ha ha. Success. Namaste. Namaste. So where does somebody go to learn how to be a yoga instructor? Oh, in Vancouver, like next door. There is literally up the hill for me. Someone started teaching classes in their basement.

Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. teaching classes in their basement oh yeah sure oh yeah yeah i mean yeah i mean that's the uh the woman that uh was my friend's mom down the street from me where i grew up uh she was into yoga this was this was back in the 80s oh boy oh she was a forerunner yeah yeah yeah and uh yeah she taught out of her uh out of her house oh she's so cool yeah she's uh she like yeah now she like goes to india once a year for like yeah for sure diarrhea i mean amongst other things sure now when they say traveler's diarrhea are they talking about just one particular region are they just talking about anytime you travel you get get diarrhea? Yeah, like if you go, just travel, you know, across Canada?

Yeah, if you just get on a plane and then you have diarrhea. Once I was in Mexico and I had like super bad diarrhea on the last stop. And the last part, like the last three days of like a week, right? My girlfriend was getting married. And then everyone's like, oh, it's the food. It's like traveler's diarrhea. And it's like, no, we were freaking partying for like five, six days. Yeah.

They're trying to blame it on the country. Yeah. Take a little responsibility. Like guys. We also got traveler's gonorrhea. Take a little responsibility. Yeah. Great guys. We also got Traveler's Gonorrhea and that was from some guys we picked up. So you've been,

that's, I think we talked about that the last time you were on, that you've been. Diarrhea. To a destination. I've been to diarrhea. Destination diarrhea.

You've been to a destination wedding, which I, I have never we were i think we were mad about it right yeah yeah yeah those those people they bite except you tesla yeah yeah is your friend still together with the yeah yeah she just had a baby did you do prenatal yoga i don don't know. Oh, well, some friend. Yeah.

I mean, way to advertise for me. So that's very cool. And you have a day job? I have a day job. I work at the Downtown Eastside Women's Center. I just came from there. I have a bloody job. I work at the Downtown Eastside Women's Center. I just came from there. I have a bloody finger from cardboard. You know, the mean streets of the Downtown Eastside.

Do you ever cut yourself? Do you ever give a paper cut? Or like for me, like a manila envelope or like anything, like a regular paper cut. And by the way, if people didn't like the diarrhea, hey, you're going gonna want to jog this forward about a minute or so yeah um anyway i get traveler's paper cut the uh i remember working at a warehouse and getting like a full cardboard like right in the web the web of the hand there. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that that's happened. No, it's okay. I mean, it was a terrible day and that was like the easiest part of it. It was being cut by cardboard. Now, in a place like this, is there somebody who's in charge? Is it just like you go get a Band-Aid or is there like a safety person that you have to report to? Because I've had to do that. Oh, this is after hours.

So HR had no idea. All right. I'm living on the wild side. Yeah. No one's in charge there. No one's in charge of band-aids. People just come in off the street and the scariest one's in charge. Prison rules.

Yeah, basically. Yeah. That's what we do with this podcast we haven't decided who's in charge yeah on this episode yet yeah yeah yeah the key is wait one of you like it could be you it could be you yeah no way yeah you could be oh my god i feel so like flattered yeah all you have to do is just like like, on first day of prison, you take a swing at the biggest person you can. Oh, okay. And then get beaten up by that big person because you just took a swing and missed. Whiff. Well, off to my cell.

I hope you're not my cellmate anyways. I really wish we could just edit in a whole bunch of, like, punches. Excuse me. Who's punching who? Can you direct me to guest services here in the clink? Yeah, that's an intense job. Yeah, it's super intense. So when I start school for yoga, I'm going to go down to like three days.

Okay. I think just so I don't end up how I am right now. Yeah. No boys. For people who don't know, the Downtown Eastside Women's Center is. Great. But what is it? Even though I painted in a bad light.

No, no. It is very lovely. But what is it? It's a daytime drop-in center. It provides services for anyone who needs it. So you don't have to. But you have to be a woman. You do have to be a woman, but only under the way

that you identify. Oh, okay. Yeah. So we accept everyone who identifies as a woman. We have showers, clothing, like free clothes. You can get a shower. You can get breakfast shower You can get Uh Breakfast on Tuesdays

And Thursdays You can get Lunch every day Of the week Um Damn Yeah This is full service

Pretty sweet place And like Uh Is there a TV in there There's a TV Yeah alright Sometimes we put movies on Okay

Alright I bet it's a lot of chick flicks, though. Yeah, well, you know what? Some of them like scary movies, okay? Jeez. No, I'm not gonna go. I don't want to watch Fried Green Tomatoes.

It's not happening. I don't know how to make an American quilt. Oh yeah yeah there's like also internet services a telephone wow um

uh menstrual products products sure it's the wrong language products and services

feminine hygiene yeah yeah um yeah yeah and also you can get advocacy

you can get um somebody to help you find housing if you're homeless or if you're in a place that is not good. Yeah. Is this a government run thing? Is this a charity? Somewhat.

Somewhat. We have donors. Please donate. Please, please, please. This is one of the things I donate to. Yeah. I've donated to it as well. Oh, yeah?

Cool. Yeah. You can donate anything. You donate money. My donations pay your salary. Yeah. So how about you? Oh, good? Cool. Yeah, you can donate anything. You can donate money. My donations pay your salary. Yeah, so how about you? Oh, good idea. I mostly donate some of my old chick flick DVDs.

Yeah, how to make an America Quilt. Yeah, do your favorite. That's not true. He tried to donate them, and then we couldn't grab them out of his hand. He was holding it too tight. Well, I mean, it's just, it's just, the quilt,

the quilt just represents so many generations of women. Well, the thing about the quilt is like, it represents love. But like, the quilt is so much more than a quilt.

That's why you didn't, you wouldn't understand. So I couldn't really part with it because I couldn't, I didn't feel it was going to, like I couldn't trust you to appreciate what the quilt is and what the quilt means to me. It's an American quilt. And so it's like, well, you know, it's got its problems. You can keep them.

That's okay. But that's, that's, it's got to be an intense job. And they're lucky to have you. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I do my best there. Yeah.

Yeah. But, uh, yeah, don't, you don't be doing school and work. Don't burn yourself out. Yeah. I mean, that's my goal, but no, I. To not burn yourself out or to burn yourself out? Oh yeah. It's, It's weird. It's like I just got crazy active and then I do a lot.

I do like 10 times more than I used to. Yeah. It's weird. It was all like. If you get a little busy, then all of a sudden. It's all like this weird like investigation of me. Like I was like, okay, like why am I depressed? Why do I have anxiety anxiety i went to the

doctor i found i have low low blood iron so i want supplements now i have more energy because i want supplements and then i started doing yoga for uh like anxiety and um just like for selfish reasons yeah for a lot of real selfish reasons um uh yeah I find when I get busy, I like. I like being busy. But if I have more than one thing going on, I can do no things. Yeah. Like I'm paralyzed by whatever the next step is to take in these two processes. Oh, okay.

Like if I've got two projects on the run, I, I, I just like stop. My thing is if I have too much time to do a thing, then I will really, I can really. Oh, you love it. Fritter away that time. You love a deadline.

I do. I like a deadline. I'm more like that. I'm, which I'm discovering, which I didn't really realize about myself. I think. Is that you're like.

I needed a lion. Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise you're just, what do you do? What's your. Flandering. Like, just like. Flandering?

Well, like. Oh, floundering. Floundering. I said floundering. The little mermaid fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What, do you eat meat? No. Okay. So so that's that's a big iron guy yeah i've but i knew that i knew already but i didn't know how like i'm no doctor and i'm i was just asking i'm not trying

to be like you should do it for iron yeah but it's it's a lot. I like to eat a lot of broccoli. No. Because you totally should, man. I know. It's so good. And it's so much fun. It's like eating a little tree. Yeah, it's fun.

Lots of people say that to me, okay? I got it. Oh, I see. You've had this lecture before. Listen, Amber, it's fun. It's small trees. Yeah, it's... Did you, growing up, did you hate broccoli?

No. No, I actually didn't. No, me neither. That was something that I was like, the media wants to tell you that kids hate broccoli. No, I think the only thing that I couldn't, like I absolutely couldn't wrap my head around why anybody would eat it, still to this day, but was liver. Oh, yeah. Like liver was always like. So, so bad.

Like it just tasted like it had gone off. Like it didn't. I'm about to go off. That's the liver talk. That's the liver. Yeah. But it's like supposed to be really good for you. I never saw to go off. That's a liver talk. That's a liver. Yeah. But it's, like, supposed to be really good for you. I never saw it outside of, you know, wrapped up in the grocery.

Yeah. Like, amongst the meat, it's gross looking. Yeah, it's intimidating. It's an intimidating meat. Because if you look at it, it's so dark. So brown. You see your reflection in it. And if you go to a restaurant and they have meat on the menu, they never have liver.

No. It was once in a while we would go somewhere like a diner and they would have liver and onions and my dad would get it. Your dad would be like, yippee! Yeah, that was like... And so once in a while at home, we would just all have to eat liver and onions. It was... So mean.

That's child cruelty. It was crazy. It was crazy. The whole time I was eating it, I was like, I don't... Did something go wrong? Why can't we eat the other parts of whatever animal this came from? A cow? Even the onions. Like for a kid.

Or like we just got Thai food the other night and one of the dishes was like half onions and I like onions but come on. Is there anything that Margot will not eat? Everything she will not eat.

She will not. Oh, she won't eat everything. Yeah, she'll eat five things at the moment. Are they all like these? She's watching her weight. She's watching her weight by eating the same five foods for every meal. She's on the five foods diet? Yeah.

She's doing the food pentagram. Do the Margo, okay? What are the five foods? Avocado. Yeah. Cherry tomatoes. Okay. Like the least bagel-y bagel, like a grocery store bagel with cream cheese.

And strawberries. And, I mean, like. She's like picked some really good ones. They're all good except for like the really processed bagel. Yeah. Which is like odd. It's like a one-off. But maybe that's like her potato chips. Oh, sure. Well, I mean, she also will eat potato chips.

But like in terms of a meal, if we, oh, and salami. She'll do salami. Salami? She loves it. Ha! But then she'll, and then some days she'll like, I'll make an egg and she'll eat the egg. And some days she'll be like, I don't like eggs.

Huh. It's a coin toss. Eggs are tricky though, because they can get like weird consistencies. Yeah. Soft boiled. Soft boiled. Soft boiled. That's how she likes them. It's tricky, though, because they can get weird consistencies. Yeah. Soft-boiled. Soft-boiled. Soft-boiled.

That's how she likes them. Dip that toast in it. Oh, okay. I mean, it's a fun way to eat an egg. Do you know, I could see, I feel like I'm the same way with eggs. It's like sometimes I love an egg, and then the next time I'm like, I hate these. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, like, why do they have to smell so eggy? Oh, I don't know. They do. And like, as soon as they're not super hot, they're the worst. Oh, yeah. Unless it's like. A cold egg. Like egg salad or something. The best.

It's so good. Yeah. It's weird that it cools off. It's bad. But if it gets really cold. Yeah. Yeah. I heard somewhere that room temperature, like warm rice is fine and cold rice is fine but room temperature rice can kill you oh no what do you

mean like you don't like it can if it's not refrigerated and it's not heated it can like get this bacteria or something oh my god yeah it's weird too like as like things like by the way someone out there listening knows the truth and they're going to write me and i'm gonna say thanks but like i'm not gonna remember what you just said and i'll bring this up again in eight months did you just do a lie are you lying no i'm not lying but but there's i didn't say that when i say they know the truth i mean they know the exact details. It's not a bacteria.

It's an enzyme. Yeah, it's somebody working it. For the homeless nerd. Amber did the nerd pushing his glasses up. But I feel like when I was a kid, rice was only like, it was just a real last. It wasn't like in my family, it wasn't like things weren't served on a bed of rice. It was just rice was like thrown at the meal as like a last, like, here's a starch. Here's some sort of, I guess, a grain. Right?

Yeah. And it was like, was it quality rice or was it oh no yeah same no i wouldn't know quality quality rice if it bit me in the ass yeah like one time i remember when i had no money somebody's like just buy a huge bag of rice like and then you'll be fine and then i ate like two things of rice and i was like, well, I can't eat this every day. This is insane. I love rice now, but I hated it when I was younger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Rice now, I think of it in the, it's more in the, like, I like it. I look forward to, but back in the day I was like, that would be the last. I'd like slather it in soy sauce. Soy sauce was always too salty. Oh, so salty. But like bitter too. Like it didn't have any, there's nothing,

like if they, maybe they did or maybe they do now, you could just pour teriyaki sauce on there. Oh. Oh boy, daddy-o. I don't think I had access

to teriyaki sauce. No, exactly. Yeah. That's sophisticated. The only time I have access to teriyaki sauce is at the one Japanese restaurant in the mall that does a little teriyaki thing. No, exactly. Yeah. That's sophisticated. The only time I have access to teriyaki sauce is at the one Japanese restaurant in the mall

that does a little teriyaki thing. Mmm. Mmm. Yeah. No matter what mall you're in. Food courts. Mmm. I haven't eaten

in a food court in a while, but there's a part of me that misses it. Yeah. No, some places, like you got to know the mall and know what places are good in the food court the japanese teriyaki place no matter what the name of it like if it's the teriyaki experience

or that's a chain if it's some one-off place it's all the same it's all the exact like it's all that sauce it's all that sauce it's all just like a little bit of benihana yeah yeah yeah what's your go-to in a in a food court yeah if you're plunked right down the food court pizza oh sure grab a slice what's a food court pizza you know you get like a sparrow oh sure hopefully like yeah hopefully it's like one of those really good ones like yeah sparrow is like good for like food court yeah for food court yeah but it's often it's like uh some mom and pop food court uh pizza thing and you're just taking your life into your own hands when when i was like very young i used to work at aldo shoes okay nice in brantford

ontario and i would always go to the italian place if I didn't have pizza I would have their pasta this was an Aldo in the mall yeah in the Brantford the Linden Park mall shout out Walter Gretzky went there from time to time yeah maybe maybe he picked up a pair of brogues Walter Gretzsky is so hot. And the pasta from the Italian place in the mall? It was better than the pizza.

The pasta was. It would just be a scoop of whatever. No, I look back on it. I was gross. That was, it was gross. They just like plunk the,

you know, like Alfredo or marinara and they just plunk it on there. It's funny because as a, the younger you are

I feel like the more picky of an eater you are. Yeah. But you also will eat the grossest thing. You will also eat absolute just trash as long as it's

the right vein of trash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your favorite food court? Like I like something that I can only get in a food court.

Okay. So like I like a New York fry. I like, you know. Orange Julius. Okay. So like I like a New York fry. I like you know. Orange Julius. Yeah exactly. A Cinnabon. You know something.

Cinnabon. Yeah. I'm there with you on that. What about you on the Cinnabon front? I think it smells. It tastes fine. Like it smells great. Yeah.

After two bites you're like this is too much. It tastes fine. But I do want a tiny bun. I just want. Yeah. the tiniest little bite. Yeah, I think when they're on the days when somebody's walking around with a sample tray, that's the perfect amount of Cinnabon. And if you look up how many calories it has, the piece of paper catches on fire. It just keeps folding out.

That's like a butter tart. A butter tart is crazy folding out. That's like a butter tart. You know, a butter tart is like crazy. I'm a bit of a butter tart. I love butter tarts. And then I found out that. A butter tart? Yeah. Oh, I thought you said a butter chart.

You know. Like this is how much butter is in everything. Yeah. The one at Cinnabon is all. It's crazy. But butter tarts are they're really bad they're really caloric

there's like that's a word yeah they're very dense yeah oh they yeah that's a Canadian

delicacy the butter tart it's so good I want one right now what is it sugar butter basically

that's yeah it's basically like I think fat probably brown sugar butter and then Sugar, butter, basically. That's the two names. Yeah, it's basically like I think. Fat, probably. Brown sugar, butter, and then some kind of fat with flour for the pastry. Well, yeah, like what is, so the filling is. I like a nut in there, but you have a nut problem, right?

They have a problem with me. You have a nut in there? What, I'm going to go back five topics yeah what are your favorite chick flicks oh that's a good because we have we is this thing something we've ever covered on the movie oh this is a good answer i have a good answer i have a good one muriel's wedding yes so good well what that is australian i i think yeah definitely yeah and the only reason that i've seen it five times is i was on holiday with my family and we were staying in a place that had like a super channel or something like that and every time we turned it on it was muriel's wedding

it was it was just starting and we were like, all right, let's tuck into another, another viewing of Muriel's wedding. Don't remember what happens in it, but really good stuff. So don't worry. Yeah. Don't worry. You want to watch it again?

Yeah, I kind of do actually. Yeah. Um, uh, my favorite, uh, is Benny and June.

Oh, was that uh uh i was gonna say bruce willis loves buster keaton yeah that would have been a very different film johnny depp it's a johnny loves he loves silent movie stars yeah he does the little thing with the the the with the rolls on the fork? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was Charlie Chaplin, right? Yeah, yeah. But he also loves Buster Keaton. He loves Buster Keaton.

He goes on a pump trolley. Yes, he does. Yeah. And he... Mary Stewart Masterson played? Yes. Benny or June? And then her brother is Aiden Quinn?

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Anyways. I wonder what counts as a chick flick. In that era, there are, like... I mean, that was, like, what would you call that? That was, like, equivalent to, like, Reality Bites. I think, like, that kind of movie.

It was, like, a romantic kind of comedy. It wasn't really a comedy. Like a relationship. Because, like, does A River Runs Through It count as a chick flick? It hardly has any women in it, but I don't know any men who like it. Hmm. I don't think I've ever seen it. I don't think I saw

the whole thing. Is it, is it about fishing? Yeah. Okay. Didn't they shoot it around your parts? No way.

You're nuts. Probably. What would be mine? It would be, does entrapment count? It most definitely does not. Okay. Chick flicks.

I mean, I guess on the Mary Stewart Masterson tip, uh, some kind of wonderful. Oh, yeah. That doesn't, I feel like the 80s Brat Packy ones are their own thing. Yeah, they are their own thing. They are. What about A League of Their Own? Is that more of a sports movie? That's a good movie. That's just like a, Their Own? Is that more of a sports movie?

I think that's like a sports What I think of is something like The Katherine Heigl Catalog of films You know 27 Dresses Oh you know what I don't mind is My Best Friend's Wedding There you go They got that

Annie DeFranco song at the beginning uh my best friend's wedding there you go oh yeah it's a good movie yeah they got that uh annie defranco song at the beginning and uh oh i i forgot about annie defranco i love her well she sings the wishing and hoping at the beginning oh is that did they sing a little bit of annie defranco trivia um i saw that one in the theater. Really? Mm-hmm. I think I saw Benny and June in the theater. Why did I see that in the theater? What's the other one? Oh, I saw The Object of My Affection in the theater as well. Who did that?

Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd. Wow. Who, who, who, who that? I don't know that movie. Well, I think it's a little bit, no. Yeah, Paul Rudd plays a gay guy, and Jennifer Aniston is his best friend who loves them, and it's just not going to work out, Jen.

Okay. So on the Jennifer note, what about Picture Perfect? I just watched that the other night. So good. I love that movie. It's weird that you forget that Jay Moore was like in a lot of films. He was like legit. Yeah.

And he was like, he's the romantic interest. He's like, I'm the guy. Yeah. He was the guy. Yeah. And he was in marketing. And there's a scene where she's about to give like a presentation. And you see the slides that are going to come up next.

They're so bad. They look like they've been drawn by a 10-year-old. No, and I saw... But does anyone refer to that? No. Or is it just like... You just see them and I'm like, oh, maybe the director got their kid to draw these.

No, but you know what's interesting? Because when I saw that, I'm like oh maybe the director got their kid to draw these no but you know what's interesting because when i saw that i'm like i should get into marketing it's like maybe i can do it yeah it's a lot of people's gateway you don't have to draw that well you know what i mean no i'm gonna say a league of their own okay all right all right okay um the league of their own is my favorite chick flick in the same way that Arachnophobia is my favorite horror movie. Horror movie. Okay. What's going on with you, Dan?

Well, it's our last episode of the summer. Yes. Oh, man. It's time for our summer recap. Well, I went tubing for the first time. Yeah, and I got melanoma. Oh, no. Oh, you did?

Yeah, no. Oh, my God. You scared me. No, I got a melon. I ate a lot of melon. Oh, nice. Nice summer treat. You just added a little bit on that.

Yeah, oh, my. Yeah. No, here's what's going on with me. This week, I went to the, I did a tourist thing. Oh, okay. I did something that like when people come to Vancouver, they're like, should I do this? And I'm like, I don't know, sure. Went to the aquarium.

Oh, yeah. Have you been to this thing? No, I'm thinking of going actually because my little sister's coming into town next week. Well, if she's under four, she gets in for free. Her son is, so that's good. All she gets in for free. Her son is. So that's good. All right. Yeah.

It's a fun afternoon. Just went there with my parents a couple weeks ago. It is 40 bucks for a mouthful. Oh my God. Yeah.

Are you kidding? No. Oh my God. Like, when I saw the kids get in for free, I'm like, oh, cool.

I didn't even look how much it costs for me. Abby has a season's pass because she'll go whenever there's nothing to do. Right. But they were like, and that'll be $41. And you're like, what fish do I get to take home? Would you like to donate $2 to the aquarium fund? Okay. Yeah, I'm sure. You to the aquarium fund? Okay. Yeah, you're crying.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. What's 41 plus 2? I don't know. Yeah, so I went in and brought the kids. Yeah. And Abby takes the kids all the time cause they're free and it like, it's whatever.

It's only 80 bucks for a year pass. Right. So that's two visits. Yeah. Uh, and, but I never, I haven't been since I was a kid.

Oh really? Yeah. Oh wow. And it's the same as it was. Yeah. I just remember being so humid. Oh yeah. Yeah. It so humid just like yeah yeah smelling like an aquarium yeah it smells like an aquarium and it's uh like steamy yeah and there's

a place uh that i that you go in that has non-aquarium non-union non-union affiliated and uh that's really steamy. That's like the steamiest of all. Oh, yeah, because it's like a little jungle. Yeah. And for the monkeys. And they're sweating because they're not part of the union. Yeah.

They're like, oh, damn it. I'm going to throw on my back and I'm not going to get coverage. What was your favorite part? Oh, boy. Well, there's this bleak exhibit so much of it is about so much of the aquarium nowadays is about plastic in the ocean about garbage in the ocean yeah yeah because it's going in the coral reefs and then the coral reefs are like mimicking plastic oh really yeah oh boy so the coral reefs are alive and they're like yeah we do this

now all the coral reefs just look like six-pack rings or whatever oh man uh we've really junked up this planet no it's fine is that what the is that what the end of the exhibit tells you? In the end, it's fine. I did see, not there, but I did see a headline a few days ago that some company has a thing that will reduce the waste in the water, the plastic in the water, by 2025. I might have dreamt it. This is kind of like your rice headline. Yeah, exactly. Well, I can think of like, are they just going to bring the garbage back up onto land?

Yeah, probably. What they should do is sink it deeper. Oh, yeah. Where, you know, Mariana's Trench or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Just put some cement shoes on this garbage island uh yeah so what it didn't have when i was a kid and now i'm realizing this was all phony because they when i was a kid they had uh the barracuda not barracuda uh piranha tank oh yeah and inside the piranha tank there was like cow bones

oh yeah yeah to insinuate that they'd put a whole cow live cow in there like listen we don't want to change the state of the oceans but you're trying to eat this cow ooh barracuda or piranha yeah um but they uh yeah so

but there I went back and the piranha tank has like a little fake cow head in it just like hey

like you would put in a a desert display an old west display they uh they're weird cause they just sit they don't swim around. They're just sitting there like they're waiting for

something. Like they know something's coming. But there was a little just a little card about them that said Piranha they got their reputation from a publicity stunt put on for Theodore Roosevelt in 1913.

Oh man. So I don't know. But it didn't explain, like, they actually, you know, they'll eat whatever. It's like just bragging is like, actually, they're quite famous. Yeah, it is. But I think that they don't, they're not as, you know, bloodthirsty as you think.

Yeah, and like... But can't they... Are there certain kinds of like if you did drop a leg or something in there like that they could... Yeah, fish are... You know, fish will go crazy for whatever you drop in them. That's true. Oh, man. Yeah.

You know, like sometimes you'll see a picture of a fish that has like like full on teeth not sharp teeth though they just look like they have like kind of humanish like they've got uh they got like veneers it's real weird oh fish are so weird i like them yeah yeah the other thing that wasn't there from my childhood well i mean they don't have killer whales anymore or belugas or dolphins no yeah uh that kind of actually makes me feel better yeah yeah aquarium but they don't have um they used to have electric eels and they would have a christmas tree display outside when it said this christ Christmas tree is being powered by these electric eels. I think that's what I thought it said,

but it probably said these electric eels are generating enough power to do this, but they're not actually doing it. I wonder.

I wonder if I could, I mean. You've got those eels at home. I've got them at home. I'm not using them for anything. They're costing me

a fortune. But also, your power bill is costing you a fortune. Yeah's true if i can only i can harness their electricity to run my alarm clock i wonder how much their output is about a christmas tree oh that's not bad that's not bad um did you see the penguins were they doing anything i didn't see any penguins no uh i was there the there, the penguins were a real letdown. They were just standing there. They could have been stuffed. Maybe they were stuffed.

They're just standing there with veneers. I mean, that would have been amazing if they just smiled at you. They're like human teeth. Smoking. The highlight was probably the seals who just belched oh yeah their hearts out they have noids for sure they totally have noids on their vocal cords yeah um fun that's a fun trip so check it out it's called the aquarium wait so did you like it i can't tell i can't tell that's that's basically my Wait, so did you like it? I can't tell. I can't tell.

That's basically my whole life is, did Dave like it? I can't tell. That's this whole show pretty much. Um, no. Like. That's expensive. It's expensive. It's expensive to not like it, too.

Well. Like only be like halfway on it. When you are a parent, liking stuff is immaterial. Yeah, that's true. You're trying to, you've got to fill up that day. You're trying to fill out the day with something other than an iPad. Yeah. Yeah. So going and seeing a live, you know, a live,

you know, it probably really, it's not recommended, I would say. No, it probably

just really threw you off and I want to apologize. But I, no, I guess I

wouldn't say it was weird like, because you're there and you see people who are adults. Yeah. And you're like, oh, someone recommended you come here. And, like, maybe it's a world-class aquarium. Yeah.

And you don't have one of those. And I take it for granted. It's weird because, like, in Toronto, they have an aquarium that's like Ripley's believe it or not isn't it like under the cn tower yeah or something i haven't been to it and i kind of feel like i don't think of ripley's when i think of like great care for animals or like anything real yeah yeah i mean i choose not to believe yeah But, yeah, I just think of that giant guy, like the tallest man in the world. He walked with a cane. Anyways, that's what I think of it. They should have called the X-Files Scully Believe It or Not.

Yeah, because she kind of, she didn't. She didn't believe. Oh, she was a real skeptic. She was like All the adults At the aquarium Just shrugging Shoulders

Yeah Yeah I guess it's okay here Just trying to Like you know Steer their kids Away from the gift shop You're drowning In stuffed otters

We already donated Yeah exactly Oh boy Oh I can't get A bottled water here oh because of the plastic i get it i get it but that is very on trend for you water of water everywhere but not a drop to drink uh yes i would like some water in my hand sure absolutely sure cup it under it yep and i was afraid to use the water fountain because it probably comes out of, it's probably whale pee. They have no whales there, but they made sure that the fountain was. Oh, boy.

What's up with you, Graham? Not really, not too much. Just before summer recedes into the distance and we all get our fingers. Oh, I love it, though. It's my favorite season. Beach balls. Yeah, yeah. I forgot about beach balls.

And, you know, surfing safaris. Yeah, Oopie Ball. Remember Oopie Ball? No. What's that? Oh, my God. No one remembers Oopie Ball but you. You put water in the beach ball in a specific

like there's a compartment you put water in there then you go to hit it it doesn't react like a regular beach ball oopie boop like and it just goes whoa you don't know where it's gonna go that sounds like a lot of fun yeah it is really fun. And KFC had it out with their family meals. And that's why I'm vegetarian. That would suck if you were a vegetarian, but the only way to get the thing you wanted was in a KFC value meal. It is funny that fast food chains are the only ones that give you like a prize to order a certain food. Like you don't go to a mom and pop and they're like, yeah, this comes with a little truck.

I give you a little lasagna, it comes with a truck. Yeah. You'd think we would like be like, oh, I'm onto you. add a mom and pop thing they will have like you know off-brand you know a coloring uh oh yeah placemat for a kid yeah draw the color in gebetto yeah color in colonel tom parker colonel tom parker's lost in a maze help him out who is that who Who's Elvis's manager? Yeah. But yeah, before summer, I got my first and for the first time in forever, a sunburn. And I don't care for it.

And I don't know what to do. Do you have it now? Yeah, it's on my noggin here. Oh, boy. On your head? On my head. On my giant forehead. But I kind of, because we're in September, somehow in my brain, I was like, that's fine, I don't need to wear a hat. September.

I'm the same way. I'm like, September 1st. I'm like, cardigans. Yeah. Like, I really, I was. I was hot out September 1st I'm like cardigans yeah like I really I was I was wearing jeans and I didn't have a hat I got burnt

and I don't it's been so long I don't know like I'm not gonna go buy whatever you get for a sunburn cause this is the first time it's happened

aloe just get some aloe but then once I'm done with this sunburn what do I do with that aloe you have it for the next time. Jack off, buddy. Oh, I didn't even.

See? Oh, I didn't even think of that. But I feel like, yeah, like I could just get my parents to send that one bottle of aloe that they have in their medicine cabinet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I'll send it back to them. Yeah.

Oh, it's like that fruitcake. I think you can also Use aloe for like Actual burns Okay Yeah Like so if you put No

You can use coconut oil Oh coconut oil Really No Never Oh It's like That sounds like it hurts

To put coconut oil I think it'll make it worse It'll just like sizzle Yeah But it smells so tropical Yeah It'll smell really good. You know what really works?

A butter tart. Oh, yeah. But very, minute on the lips, forever on the hips. Yeah. Although I think, actually,

that the Cinnabon, the lotion they put on top of that, that might be aloe. Get a Cinnabon, can I pour some lotion? Just on top of that. That might be aloe. Get a Cinnabon. Can I pour some lotion? Just a cup of lotion. Some of your Cinnabon lotion. What's the word for this frosting?

Oh, my God. That's so funny. Can I get some Cinnabon lotion? But I feel like there also was something like maybe a Cinnabon chapstick or something like that. There better be. Yeah, I'm pretty sure there was that line. There should be a whole like, there should be perfume, deodorant.

There should be everything. Well, because there's like all those are there any calories in those chapsticks? That are like a Dr. Pepper? That's the beauty of it. The Dr. Pepper don't even say that to me right now. I'm sorry. The Smacker's Dr. Pepper is so good, but then I stopped buying stuff that like I didn't know was organic or not harmful to animals and stuff.

I couldn't buy Dr. Pepper anymore. Are you telling me that Dr. Pepper's Lip Smackers doesn't hold up the... Doesn't have the Green Team seal of approval? I love Dr. Pepper. Green team seal of approval. I love Dr. Pepper. And the other thing is, speaking of like a tourist thing, the last couple of days I went to the deep West End,

which I never, ever do because it's hard to get to. What is it? Like down the West End, I'll tell you. There's a bunch of water down there, beach, and it's fucking every tourist in the country is there. Uh, and hilariously touristy, like camera around the neck, you know,

short, like the funniest, like you're from out of town, you're from out of town. And today I was there and it smelled like teen spirit a little bit. I wonder what teen spirits, cause that was a, an, uh Because that was like a deodorant? Yeah.

I wonder what it smells like. I don't actually know what Teen Spirit... Baby powder. Yeah, probably. Maybe vanilla a little bit. Yeah, they might have that. The only Teen Spirit I knew, though, was baby powder. Was baby powder.

Yeah. There you go. Well, that answers that question. How'd that song get that name? It never says, and it smells like Teen Spirit. Down and out. There you go. Yeah. That answers that question. How'd that song get that name? It never says, and it smells like teen spirit. Down and out. Down and out. And it smells like baby powder.

Oh, yeah, that lines it up. Oh, you're right. But, yeah, it smelled like the ocean. And I was like, I guess maybe, is this what this part of Vancouver always smells like? And then I asked a past guest, Erica Sigurdsson, she's like, no, this is just some weird ocean smell. Like maybe a sea lion died, who knows? But it just smelled like what you think the ocean smells like. It's pretty nice.

Yeah, that is. Oh. Yeah. The scent of possibly some kind of dead seal or something. I don't know. Salt water. You know that smell? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fresh or something. I don't know. Salt water. You know that smell? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fresh. Yeah. It's very fresh. It's a weird neighborhood of Vancouver because there are, for some reason, a lot of palm trees. Yeah, there's palm trees down there. There's like a lot of things that if you're a tourist, you can take a picture with. There's like statues and stuff. Like where are you talking west?

Like all the way down by the water. You know, like the West Beach. Oh, past Denman. Yeah, yeah. Denman and like Robson or Davy. Yeah, yeah. So whatever beach that is. Oh.

Vancouver Beach. I don't actually know. I have it's where they it's english bay where they have the the fireworks every year yeah but like how often do you actually you live here how often do you yeah i only went one summer but like for some people it's like it's where they move like oh i'm coming i'm going to van Vancouver. I'm going to live in the West End. Yeah. And that's... It's a bad idea.

When I was a kid, I remember hearing that it had the same population density as Hong Kong. Oh. I believe it. Really? Parking is a nightmare. Parking, getting a coffee. You're always standing in some kind of lineup. They have a Cookies by George.

They do? Well, they did last time I was there. Is that like a good cookie? It was one of the first big cookies you could get. Yeah, it was very popular in the mall. It was very 1980s. There was a good white chocolate chunk cookie. I remember a friend of mine's dad ran a Cookies by George,

and I thought in my head that was like his dad was a celebrity. I was like, oh, man. He was good. He played at all sorts of parties. He owns a Cookie by George. You know what's really weird? It's a similar thought, but way more dumb than I had today. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Graham thought a guy who ran a Cookies by George was a celebrity. So you had a thought today that was way more dumb than that? It's really dumb to the point where I was laughing by myself alone about it. I saw two deaf people signing to each other, communicating, and I'm like, oh, they're so cool. Like, I didn't. I'd signing to each other like communicating and I'm like oh they're so cool like I didn't I'd love to learn that one like I just thought

they were so cool because they know sign language but I didn't think they have to like I didn't think about the part like they have to

yeah you were just like oh man oh they're so awesome they're so cool no one knows what they're talking about I really wish like I was as cool as them

although I gotta I gotta admit anybody who speaks They're so cool. No one knows what they're talking about. I really wish I was as cool as them. Although, I got to admit, anybody who speaks more than one language, I'm in awe. Yeah, me too. Because I know the one. And my grasp on it, it comes and goes. Yeah, same. You can speak too. Oh, I can speak French a little bit.

And I can speak the eight signs that my baby knows oh really yeah no way well and i think it's like she's starting to say words but now she will like i think she's resisting learning some words because she likes that she can just like get by with doing this that That means all done. So whatever, she'll just point to something and say, that's all done. Oh, really? Like point to somebody's career? Yeah. Well done.

Oh my God, she does that to me as I walk out of the house. Well, we do have that poster of Cuba Gooding Jr. Oh no! He's still making films. Yeah. She's very inspired by people's careers that have changed. Or she'll do more.

She'll do all her fingers together. That means more. More Cuba getting juice. But seeing somebody do sign language is pretty awe-inspiring. So amazing. Because one time I did a stand-up with an interpreter. It was like a fundraiser for a hearing organization. And I couldn't believe how fast they were.

Like they were, you would get a laugh from the people in the crowd that could hear. And then you would get another laugh from sign language. Yeah. But it wasn't that far behind. It was like only like a second and a half, two seconds behind. Have you seen like footage of people at concerts, the translators at concerts?

I feel like, was there an Eminem one? It gets confused because they're also rocking out. Well, they do really get like, they do it with the rhythm and it's very, it's like, and some of them, they must have the lyrics somewhere because the the rapping is going very quickly and i i can't i can't understand what they're saying half the time yeah oh my god i almost spit my drink out the uh my favorite thing is that that eminem album came

out uh last week i guess and uh's a song about Venom on it the comic the comic is it a diss track he's a Spiderman guy all the way Eminem he's like

expecting a rebuttal from Venom Venom you can't hold you can't hold a Spiderman oh boy bling bling

web sling I tried And then your daughter's like this To like M&M Yeah no more No more All done All done

Do we want to move on To some overheard? Yeah Or business Dave What? You know what's not smart? Oh duh

I don't know I don't even know Why I asked you I'll tell you what's not smart The way, duh. I don't know. I don't even know why I asked you. I'll tell you what's not smart. The way hiring used to be. Duh. How did it used to be there, boss? It used to be you would go to job sites that overwhelm

you with tons of wrong resumes. Duh. I think you misread that. It resumes. Oh, Dave. Stop scratching yourself with that hot wrench. Oh, whoa. ZipRecruiter.com is a smarter

way to hire people on the internet. Will you go to ZipRecruiter.com slash stop? You bet. That's the first thing you got right. ZipRecruiter's powerful matching technology finds the right people for you and actively invites them to apply. It's no wonder, Dave, you're still listening?

Dave, you're staring at a bee that's flying by. I'm scared. We got to get rid of the bees. It's no wonder that ZipRecruiter is rated number one by employers in the U.S. This rating comes from hiring sites on Trustpilot with over 1,000 reviews. Duh, Trustpilot? Not for me. Oh boy. And right now our listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at

ZipRecruiter.com slash stop. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash P-T-O-S. Oh, no, Dave. It's S-T-O-P. Aye, aye, aye. Dover Hurts. Hi, I'm Biz. And I'm Teresa.

And we host One Bad Mother, a comedy podcast about parenting. Whether you are a parent or just know kids exist in the world, join us each week as we honestly share what it's like to be a parent. And then that's how my day starts. Come on! I'm so sick of it! When is that going to be over? Like, I want it to stop! Teresa, you're hurting my ears!

I mean, that's it. I just hate it. Yeah, I don't my ears. I mean, that's it. Yeah, no. I just hate it. Yeah, I don't blame you. It sucks. It really sucks. So join us each week as we judge less, laugh more, and remind you that you are doing a great job. Find us on MaximumFun.org, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Overheard. Overheard's a segment where you hear something or see something hilarious. You want to share it? This is the place. We always like to start with the guest. Amber, would you lead the charge? Yes, I will. This morning, I was on the number eight bus to work and there was a mom

that's a great bus by the way yeah yeah and there's a mom with a stroller and a kid in it believe it okay so she has like i don't know like i guess like a four-year-old or something in the stroller she gets on the bus and she's like doing that like really loud mom voice. Like that mom, like really nice. Like she's very sweet and nice. Like, but like almost too much in a way like

where the whole bus is like, okay. Yeah. And she's like, oh, those are fancy shoes, you silly. You're being silly. Those are fancy shoes

like to the little girl. The little girl's like, oh yeah, like what are they? Like, why are little girl. The little girl's like, oh yeah, like what are they? Like, why are they fancy or whatever? She's like,

well, they're made of plastic. And then she's like, well, what's plastic? And she's like, well, it's a man-made material.

And then the little girl started going, no, no, no, no, no. Like,

I don't want to hear this. Yeah, it was amazing. I'm like, I related to her so much. It's a mansplained material. Yeah, exactly. I have like a mansplaining bit. I'm like, I related to her so much. It's a mansplained material. Yeah, exactly. I have like a mansplaining bit, and I was like, that's totally momsplaining.

I was like, this is so me when I was four. Like, shut up. This sounds boring. I know I asked the question, but. I was having breakfast with my parents because I moved in with them. A bold move. No, we were...

I had a smoothie and it came with a straw and we were talking about how they're getting rid of straws, plastic straws, and they were like, what are they going to use? I guess I'll just go back to paper straws like we used to have and i forgot that like plastic is only like 50 years old wait like yeah like consumer grade yeah yeah yeah something like that yeah so like archie you know from the archie

comics those are paper straws i never even thought thought about that. Paper straws are so bad. Like, I get them a Whole Foods with my smoothie, and they get all soggy halfway through. Oh, you got to go quicker. It's too thick. You can't go that quick. It's too thick. You know what you got to put?

You got to bring some hot water with you. Pour it in your smoothie. Spin it over. Go over to the soup bar. It's cold. And you put hot water. Yeah. Pour it in your smoothie. Dinner ready. Go over to the go over to the soup bar. It's cold. And you put hot water?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah. Cause that's a, you know. That'll fix it right up. Yeah, so. Also it's like

the thickest. It's like the cardboard that cut me. It's like so thick. It's like so street this cardboard. The straws? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it's they're fun for the first couple of sips so street, this cardboard. The straws? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, they're fun for the first couple of sips. And then, then you're like, oh boy. I never had one enjoyable moment. No, not even the first sip where you're like, no, I was like, this is so weird. We got some, some, uh, stainless steel ones upstairs. That's better.

Oh yeah. It's better for your feng shui. Uh huh. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or whatever. Mostly whatever. Or whatever. Yeah. that's better oh yeah it's better for your feng shui uh huh whatever yeah yeah or whatever mostly whatever or whatever yeah

um Dave do you have an overheard uh boy well uh the other day

I was in Kingsgate Mall and I had to go to the grocery store and I was carrying a baby and I was walking swiftly

so nobody would talk to me and a lady I was I'm more worried about men yelling at me. Yeah. A lady yelled. You get a lot of response from Kingsgate mall men. I just don't want to engage with anyone there. Okay.

But I'm, you know, the sad truth, men commit most violent crimes. Anyway, uh, a woman called to me from across the mall and I was like, you mean me? And she was looking at me and she, I just heard, Oh baby.

And I kind of gave her a look like, uh-huh. I didn't break my stride. Cause nobody's going to make me break my stride. Yeah. Um, and, uh, but then I went, Uh huh I didn't break my stride Cause nobody gonna make me break my stride Yeah Um And uh but then I went To the drugstore came back And this woman who had yelled at me earlier

Was on the phone and uh I just overheard her say Uh yeah I like the part about you uh Shooting me in the head and making it quick Oh wow What a This is somebody who's uh maybe I like the part about you shooting me in the head and making it quick. Oh, wow. What a... Oh, wowzer.

This is somebody who's maybe a touch melodramatic. Or maybe the person she was talking to had threatened that. Oh, yeah, that's true. I didn't even consider that. Oh, yeah. I thought she was just having a cash convo and being super drama. Yeah. Yeah.

In the Kingsgate Mall. Yeah mall yeah well that's where it happens that is where that's where it all goes down what's your favorite kingsgate mall food cart place oh i mean for me it's eat um you know i like uh no well the the one place it just was renovated i don't know if you noticed. Yeah, it's called Eat. Is it now it's called Eat? I think it's called Nice. Doesn't it say Eat? It used to be called Orange Orange.

It used to be called Orange Orange. It feels like it should look better, but it doesn't. It looks the same. I feel that about myself, though. Yeah, that's true. I wish I had some renos done. Yeah, that's the place I had the lobster roll

are you serious? you had a lobster roll for that place? yeah for our 500th episode what happened? do you remember what happened in Mexico? I do

indeed I do no it was fine it was it was no good but yeah my body was fine yeah uh what's your overheard my friend my overheard uh is also bus bus related uh there was a uh at the front of the bus there's these seats that can fold up if somebody has a stroller or if somebody's in a wheelchair. Or both. Or both. Absolutely. And this guy was getting on. And then there was still one chair available to sit in.

And a woman that was standing near me kind of claimed it from across the bus, which I've never seen. And she said, oh, I need that seat. I need that seat. And I was like, oh, look at you go. And she said, I have tennis elbow. Oh. She announced to the whole bunch. What?

I can't stand up and hold this thing. I have tennis elbow. She has another arm, though. Yeah. She did. You should have this thing. I have tennis elbow. She has another arm though. Yeah. She did. You should have said that. I wanted to. Then you would have been like the Larry David of the bus.

Just really engaging. You got another arm? Excuse me. I have sewing machine foot. I have. Yeah. I was going to say gout, but probably that's probably. Oh yeah.

Gout's going to hurt you. Yeah. That's going to hurt. You're going to want to give up a chair to somebody who wants, but probably that's probably. Oh, yeah. Gout's going to hurt you. Yeah, that's going to hurt. You're going to want to give up a chair to somebody who wants. I've got industrial disease. Well, that's very. You gave her the seat. I didn't.

It wasn't mine to give. She was standing near me and called, like, claimed. I've never seen somebody claim a seat. So did everyone disperse from the area of the seat? Because she said, I need that seat. And I think everybody was like, oh, okay. You know, everybody make way. She put her groceries on it.

And then she. Yeah, no, the bus is a pretty first come first serve system. Yeah. And. But I've never heard somebody, you know, declare tennis elbow as like an ailment. Yeah, sure. I mean, it must be. Never had it.

Never played tennis. You haven't had it? No. Oh, look, I have had it. And it's like. From tennis? No. I think you can get it from other things.

Yeah. And I was like, this is what it is. I just knew. I just knew when there was pain there. I was like. This is it. Yeah. Like any pain I've ever had in my shins. Yeah, shin splits pain there. I was like. This is it. Yeah.

Like any pain I've ever had in my shins. Yeah, the shin splits. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. It's true though. It probably is. Does that feel like your body is tearing off of your shins?

No, it's just someone's kicking me. Oh, kicking you. That's shin kicks. Oh, okay. Now we also have overheard sent in from people around the globe. You want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one is a conversation between Mike R and his four-year-old son. Four-year-old, it's a work day for me. Already hilarious.

Come on. You know you don't have to work. Today's my Friday. Today's is my Friday, though. I just want to put that out. All right. Have a good Saturday. Thank you.

I will. For the home listener, it's Thursday, so it's not even that far off. Four-year-old says, it's a work day for me. Me, to him, oh, where do you work? Four-year-old sternly, you know where I work. I work at the Batcave. But you notice he didn't say that

he's Batman. He's one of the support staff. Sure, yeah. I'm an IT guy at the Batcave. Now, Batman had to have had an IT guy. Yeah, no one installed LAN cables there. I mean, he didn't install his own LAN cable. There was a whole production

crew behind the scenes for Batman, for sure. It wasn't just Bruce Wayne. And his butler. What's his freaking butler's name? Albert. Alan. Pat Albert. And, and yeah so like he's not

you know putting flat screen TV's up he's got he's got a guy he's got a guy a home theater guy who puts up his bat game and then when somebody says hey you know I think that Batman is Bruce Wayne he's like yeah yeah yeah I know that yeah I Bruce Wayne. He's like, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I know that. Yeah, I know. I'm his IT guy. Yeah, yeah. I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

Yeah, it's like when a whole film crew knows what's going to happen in the episodes upcoming. Yeah. They can't say anything, but they know.

Yeah, exactly. They know everything. They're like, yeah, when they see Batman out in public, they try not to call him by

hey thanks for saving me thanks for saving me a brewski batman which is your name as far as i know yeah which is who you are we don't know the j's real name yet, do we? You're like, no. Do we know the Joker's real name? He's Ledger? In the first Batman movie, his name was Jack Napier.

Oh, that's right. But I think, yeah, it's like he's ever-changing. Oh, sure. It's like David Bowie. Yeah. This next one comes from Christine out in the Kootenays. Oh.

I went into Nelson for the afternoon with friends. We were waiting for a table outside at a brewery, and I overheard two girls talking. Girl one, wait, like Sammy? Sammy? In braids? Like cornrows? Girl two, like Post Malone.

It looked like, it took like two hours and his head is in so much pain right now. Oh boy. Yeah, I never thought about that with you. It hurts. You've done it? Yeah, I got a side of my head done once when

I worked at the strip club. Oh, I remember that. One of the dancers did my hair and she was like, yeah.

It's got to be really tight. I want to do this real good. And then she did cornrows and it's like you're basically

twisting your hair until it can't twist any further. And then pinning it, it hurts your scalp. But it looks so good, question mark. Did it look good? Well, how I had it, I liked it. Like it was just a small section. Does it feel so good to take it out?

Yeah, it's like when you take it, you know. When you take it, a ponytail. it's like when you take out a ponytail. You know. When you take out a ponytail. It's like when you take out a ponytail. When you take out a ponytail. Yeah. Dave's got his hair very sleek ponytail. Yeah, I do. They both are rocking long locks.

You know, I dig it. I think everyone should grow their hair out. We're the Ponytail Boys. Why didn't we call the podcast the Ponytail Boys? I don't know. Maybe we both had shorter hair at the time. But we did have like a folk group called's true we did perform folk music i remember we were at the hungry eye and we opened for bob newhart um and the smothers brothers right this was 1961 1961. No, no, it was 2000. It was ought nine. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I forgot about that. This last one comes from Mac J. Parts unknown. Walking down the sidewalk, I passed two teen girls sitting on a bench. One exclaimed to the other, ugh, I hate it when I'm aware of my hands.

That's good. I like that one. Yeah, I mean, now that I think about it, now that I'm aware of my hands. That's good. I like that one. Yeah. I mean, now that I think about it, now that I'm aware of them. You know when you're aware of your nose, like through your eyes? I hate that. Yeah. I get what she means, but I've never really cared about my hands.

But your nose. But you know when you start actually seeing your nose when you're looking? Yeah. That's annoying for sure. Good call. Well, they got a point. Yeah. And apparently your eyes can always see your nose, but your brain ignores it.

Stops it, yeah. And apparently, what's the other thing? Your lenses see the world upside down and your brain reverses it? Oh, man. That's so crazy. When I learned that, I was like, no! No thanks! I just left class.

I'm done for the day. I've learned enough. I threw my stuff on the ceiling and walked right out of there. In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us the phone number is 844-779-7631 oh it's no fun now let's get a new number

or one like these people have hi stop podcasting yourself this is Will from Los Angeles with a kids say the darndest overheard I was at an ice creamery Will from Los Angeles with a kid say the darndest overheard. I was at an ice creamery,

and there was a little girl who was having a lot of trouble with her ice cream sandwich and said to her mom very matter-of-factly, Mommy, it's as sticky as can be. What a fancy little kid. It's as sticky as can be, mother. Why don't you grab me a handkerchief? Oh, boy. Lumsie.

Yeah. I'm a mess. Knock me over with a feather. Oh, mother, you didn't tell me how sweet this ice cream sandwich was going to be. Bring me more broccoli. This is a mess. I can't. You know those little trees.

They're like little trees. This next one, they didn't call it in. They recorded themselves on their phone and emailed it. It sounds a little too close. I don't like it. Okay. All right. Hey, Dave and Graham.

This is Ian calling in with an overheard from Chicago, Illinois. from Chicago, Illinois. I was visiting family this weekend and there was a gaggle of children in the basement playing some video game on a Nintendo Switch. We were sitting down there drinking coffee and visiting and I overheard one of the children say to the other, oh, what's this game? I've never heard of it before. And then another child who could not have been 10 years old smugly replies, Oh, you haven't heard of it?

I'm surprised. It's very popular at parties. What was the... Did we figure out What the game was No No It's probably A cliffhanger one

Yeah Yeah Next week Kerplunk Right That's the most fun one At parties Most video

Nintendo Switch game Yeah yeah The Kerplunk Kerplunk live Yeah I don't know I don't know Any games

That are What games What games are out now They still It's all Fortnite I don't know. I don't know any games that are... What games? What games are out now? They still... It's all Fortnite. I don't know if you play Fortnite. And then if you have a Nintendo, it's, I don't know, something like another Donkey Kong.

Yeah, or something like Mario, something or other. Mario and Donkey Kong are friends. The game was no conflict. Mario and Donkey Kong are friends. And yes, we're Canadian. We call him Mario. Yeah. with no conflict. Mario and Donkey Kong are friends. And yes, we're Canadian, we call him Mario.

Yeah, then they meet. Yeah, there's no conflict, they just keep giving each other gifts. Yeah. It's just you're

trying to surprise each other. It sounds like a Nintendo game, like Mario Gift Party. I'm surprised you've never played this before.

Yeah, very popular. Mario Gift Party. A lot of snobby kids, like it's cute. That overheard Oh, I'm surprised you've never played this before. Yeah, very popular. Maybe a gift party. A lot of snobby kids. Like, it's cute. That overheard, like, I get that it's essentially the same thing as calling it in. But when you make a, like a, what do they call it? Like a voice note, a voice memo? Yeah.

And email it to us? It just sounds like you're just a guy standing in a room talking into his phone. Yeah. No, what I pictured was he's like in his car outside of this house. Hey, Graham and Dave,

I'm in Chicago. It's just so weird. It picks up too much of the background hiss. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's... Just call the number, guys. It's just so weird It picks up too much Of the background hiss Yeah You know It's Just call the numbers

Guys It's easy to remember Yeah Here's your final overheard Hey guys I'm Katie from Philly And I'm calling in An overheard from vacation

In Jackson, Wyoming My boyfriend Who is a long time listener And I were in a breakfast shop Yesterday morning And after we had ordered Our breakfast This English woman Stopped my boyfriend My boyfriend, who is a long-time listener, and I were in a breakfast shop yesterday morning. And after we had ordered our breakfast, this English woman stopped my boyfriend, who's 6'6", grabbed his arm, and I overheard her say, I was just telling my husband how lovely tall you were.

You would have made a super guard back home in England at the palace. Well, off I go. Oh, I don't know what a super guard is. Maybe just a super guard. Yeah. Really tall ones. Yeah. But they're all tall because they wear those giant hats. Oh, yeah.

It's deceiving. Maybe they all have different size hats. Or maybe some of them have really big heads. Yeah. They have like a huge brain under there. Yeah. Is that on like Ren and Stimpy or something? I feel like that.

Yeah, I know. It feels like it'd be in their canon. But I do love that if you're very tall in North America, people will be like, oh, do you play basketball?

Yeah. But in England, they'll be like, you'd be great at protecting the queen. Yeah, you would make a super guard. You'd be great

at ignoring all the obnoxious people who try making nuts. Oh, yeah, that's true. If you had some height on you, then people couldn't, you know, do silly things to your face, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe that's what makes a super guard. Right? That last one was weird, I think. No offense. I didn't think it'd be judgmental at this podcast. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they were, were like vacationing in Wyoming? There must be like a national park there.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean. If I drew you a map of America and I like had all the states divided up. Yeah. Could you find Wyoming? No. I'm going to.

No. And she was from Pennsylvania. I don't think i could find pennsylvania well i could find pennsylvania only because it's like right next to new but so is new jersey would you not accidentally pick new jersey maybe i would only be able to name three states probably actually you could do i think we would all be able to do washington oregon california we would all be able to do florida yeah i'd be able to do Washington, Oregon, California We would all be able to do Florida Yeah I'd be able to do Cali and Florida for sure

And New York probably And then you know Then the rest Yeah I don't even know where the rest are Just go Virginia Yeah

North Carolina Nevada's next to California It's a little bit slanty Yeah Texas Everything's big there There's those four that meet in the corner Yeah New Mexico Colorado, Arizona

Yeah And the other one And the rest And then so the other ones Yeah, I did that one Oh, Texas I could do Texas Oh, for sure I could do that

Yeah, Texas is big Florida You know where that is Yeah, Idaho Idaho's right next to Washington. Montana's right next to that. Hey guys, I'd be able to name Florida.

Michigan's a mitten. Oh yeah. And it's right next to Wisconsin, baby. There you go. See, you're doing fine. You're doing fine. Hawaii is that island. Hawaii and Alaska.

Oh shit. I know Alaska for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, Iowa. No. Iowa, Ayahuasca. I do know Ayahuasca. I want to do that. Yeah?

Yeah. That's part of the yoga. I think it's a field trip. I think you have to do it before you can teach. Yeah, exactly. That's graduation day. Everybody does Ayahuasca. There's quite a bit of vomiting, I believe. it before you can teach. Yeah, exactly. That's graduation day. Everybody does ayahuasca. There's quite a bit of vomiting, I believe.

I heard there can be. I don't think it's like. I think it's mandatory. I would do it. I would do it to fit in. You have to keep it in like an urn? Yeah. Oh, that's my ayahuasca trend.

This is my barf urn. Well, that brings us to the end of this year episode uh amber yeah do you have anything upcoming that you would like to plug it's fine if you don't it's you know support where i work please yes and um yeah i do comedy like a bunch but nothing really coming up fine will be suitable for when this airs. I think I'm not that organized. That's fine. Let's be honest. And, you know, I'll keep an eye out for you in the yoga trade papers.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yoga variety. Yeah. I think that's probably going to be how I get famous. Well, I know a guy who used to own a cookies by George. Yeah.

I'll tell you how you won't get famous. This podcast. You still own a cookies by George. Yeah. I'll tell you how you won't get famous. This podcast. This podcast will be live in Toronto this weekend. That's right. Oh, nice.

At JFL Friday 2 on the 28th, which from the look of my calendar, it's, no, I'm sorry, the 23rd. 23rd, yeah. Which from the look of my calendar is a Sunday. Yeah. And then on Monday, we take a day off. Yeah. Then we go to Winnipeg.

Winnipeg on Tuesday, the 25th. Clock's ticking, guys. So, you know, we'd love to see your smiling faces. And then on Friday, we're in Vancouver. Yeah. That's Friday the 28th here in Vancouver. We thought they were going to add a second show.

I haven't heard anything else. I haven't heard anything else either. That's at the Planetarium but it sold out so what are you going to do about that?

Yeah. Next week, the 4th, 5th, and 6th we're in Calgary, Edmonton, and Saskatoon of October. Of October.

And also, I should say that at JFL 42, I'm also doing a couple of solo shows that are prior to the live podcast. Yeah, I'll try. I'm here to say Graham's very good on his own as well. Thank you. I'm sure you've been listening to the podcast forever and know this.

But you know what? Come on out. And you know what? Just support your local yoga studio. Your local yoga. If you like the show, please tell your friends to come on back next week

for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. podcast to yourself maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported