Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 550 - Brent Butt

Episode Date: October 1, 2018

Comedian Brent Butt returns to talk bowling trophies, traffic conventions, and the dump.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 550 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who has all sorts of fun ideas for Halloween costumes. Because it's October, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah.

Ghost. Yep. Witch. Full on pumpkin. Pumpkin just, pumpkin pumpkin body pumpkin head yep uh ghost uh head ghost body which body which head this is the main six those are all great ideas and cheap you. Yeah. Classic. I only go classic costume. Did you know that Party Bazaar,

Vancouver's long-standing Halloween. The pop-up shop on Broadway? No, the one that's like the permanent one down on Terminal. Shutting its doors. After 40 years? I believe it. And after I just bought a wig there. I bought a wig not long ago. And they said, you know what, if this

doesn't work out for you in the next few years, bring back yeah yeah we have a 10 year return policy and i know our listeners around the world love hearing these local things but uh the the uh the what used to be the sport check on broadway near camby is uh and for when they closed it down for the last like six or seven years. Halloween store. Halloween store. And that's the only thing that was ever in there. Yeah.

And it was only one month a year it was occupied. Now it's a camera store. Duh. But only in October. Our guest today, a very funny comedian. He is the star of Corner Gas. He's a wig owner. He's a wig owner. A brand new wig owner.

He's the star of Corner Gas Animated. You can find him online at YouTube slash TheButtPod. It's Brent Butt. Hello, everybody. Hello. Hi, Brent. Welcome. True story about buying the wig, you know.

I didn't even throw that out as a humorous anecdote. It's an actual thing that happened. Why were you buying a wig? And why would we think that was humorous? I'm wearing a hat right now. You can't see I'm quite hairless on my head. I'm losing my hair at a rapid rate. But it was for a funny comedy sketch we were filming

for when Nancy and I hosted the Leo Awards. Your wife, Nancy O Odell from Access Hollywood. Yes. Um, and I needed, uh, I knew my character needed to be wearing a wig. What kind of wig? I'm, I'm very intrigued at this point. Like a toupee style?

I posted a picture of it online. It's kind of a full head wig. It looked very 1970s when I put it on. It looked like it might be the hairstyle you'd see on a male catalog model in the 70s, just with a 52-year-old potato face underneath it. But you could easily see that hair on a dude in a nice jumpsuit. Yeah. Something with a nice gusset.

With a giant collars. Yeah, maybe sitting in some kind of circular chair. Hanging out with three like-minded guys. My brother had one of those in the 70s, one of those eight-track tape decks that looked like an astronaut helmet. You know, the spaceman helmet looking eight-track tape deck. Fantastic. Super cool. I don't know this.

It's like on a stand, right? Well, you could get the ones that were on the stand or you could get like a desktop model. Sure, a laptop. Yeah. And you just plop it sat on top of the. But it looked great. It looked like a space helmet.

That's something you can throw up. A visual that you can put on your worldwide website. We don't do that anymore. We just do. Well, now's the time to start. Well, uh. Get it back into you. Yeah.

We've done 50 episodes without it. I can tell you, I could appreciate where that would be an ass load of work. Yeah. You know. The work to, like, what do you get back from that too, is the other thing. Yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, we, I would go back and listen and I'd, you know, mix the episodes. And then as I'm going through it, write down, oh, this might be a thing to look up.

Yeah. Not worth it. No one misses it. What people right now are furious. If you. They're more furious about the costume store closing. You could throw it up on your Twitter thing. Yeah.

Or I'll, you know, I'll put it up on my damn Twitter thing. There we go. Oh, boy. Who needs you? Who needs you? In in fact i'll start my own podcast do we want to get to know us oh yes get to know us brent brent what it is yeah i'm up first on the get to know us yeah yeah oh man also graham i i don't have anything. No, I got something. I got something real juicy.

Well, it's semi-juicy. Anyways, anything juicy going on with you? Semi-juicy. Put that on a t-shirt. We're thick in the middle of season two of Corner Gas Animated. In the making of it? Yeah, we're making the season two. It'll air sometime in the spring of us. Yeah. We're making the season two. It'll air sometime in the spring of 2019.

Yep. Uh, we're very close. So are you any us listeners that are interested? Like I get a lot of people, uh, emailing the butt pod or getting ahold of me on Twitter and stuff. And the question is,

when are we in the States going to be able to see corner gas animated? I think we're very close. Okay. As of today. Oh, cool. I had correspondence today. Nice.

So I'm confident that we'll have good news to share in the not too distant future. Is it, uh, is it weird to record? Cause like you're not in a room with the whole cast. We kind of are, not the whole cast. Okay. But all the, all the, the cast are separated

between Ontario and British Columbia, Vancouver and Toronto, basically. So all the casts that live in or around Vancouver come to a studio together at the same time. Oh, cool. And all the casts that live in Toronto or the Toronto area come to a studio in Toronto at the same time.

And then we're linked up. I think it's by the internet or a telephone. Yeah. Something we're linked up with. A fax machine. So we're in real time. There's about a four second delay between Vancouver and Toronto, but we're, so we're acting

it in real time. We felt that. Do you, do they keep the delay in the final show? Yeah. Yeah, I move. Although we have to write less. The scripts are shorter, so that's a valuable time frame. Take three pages out of the script.

All the cartoons just fixed. Just blink. You got to animate the blinking and the four second delay. Oh boy. Oh, I would really enjoy that. That was, I remember being astonished when I found out that not everything was recorded in animation. Especially the ones that we watched when we were kids. Because it's all Mel Blanc doing all the voices anyway.

But the crazy man in a room by himself doing the whole thing. But they're not all recorded all at once. And when Frank Sinatra released his duets album, he didn't even meet Bono. Well, you know, we have like, that's an option, right? And we could have done it that way. Yeah.

And, but we just felt that part of the thing that made Corner Gas work and that people responded to was the chemistry, the interaction between the actors, and we thought if there's any way we can do that, we should try to go for it. So, so the nice thing is if somebody is, you know, away for three weeks on holiday or something, you can do them separately later.

Right. Um, so things carry on without them, you know, you don't have to, everything doesn't grind to a halt. It makes everybody seem, feel very expendable too. That's the other thing. Everybody's on pins and needles. Yeah. Well, cause, uh, you know, you just need one,

like Dave was saying, one Mel Blanc and wipe out a whole cast. You know, we, we have a very talented, aside from our core cast of eight, we have some very talented, um, local voice actors that do other denizens around the town and different things like. What is a denizen as opposed to a citizen? Well, no, I don't know the technical term.

We just started in season one, we started referring to the other people around town as denizens and it stuck. And, uh, so there's one of the guys that, that is very talented. His name is Brian Drummond and he'll, he's one of those guys like a Mel Blanc. You can just, whatever.

In this episode, we need a turkey pulling his head from a bowl of water. Right. And it's just, he does it exactly like what you would imagine a cartoon turkey pulling his head from a bowl of water. You don't even know going in what that would sound like.

And then you hear him do it and you go, oh my Lord, that's exactly what it would be. Yeah. There's a guy, uh, he's like a voice actor and he's uh he's on like futurama and a bunch of other things but his claim to fame is he can do this very cartoony burp and uh it was the burp that uh will ferrell does an elf and it's a burp that like a bunch of different cartoon characters have done over the year but he's the only guy who can do it. Is it a burp? No, it's this crazy, like, loud, you know, monster burp kind of thing. But he doesn't have to burp to do it.

No. I mean, maybe, maybe by the end of it. It's pretty loud and, you know, air's going to get trapped in different areas, you know. This is just science. This is biology. Yeah. Biology 101. You're faking a burp because you're going to burp.

Fake it until you make it. Am I right, ladies? science. It was biology. Yeah. Biology 101. You're faking if burps, you're going to burp. Thank you Jamaica. Am I right ladies? Putting 101 at the end of something is a great way to

tell somebody they're an idiot. Right? Oh yeah, that's biology 101. Something 101.

The inference is I'm an idiot. Yeah. Although, I mean, you could have graduated high school. Right. You're like, well, I'm an idiot. Yeah. Although, I mean, you could have graduated high school.

Right. You're like, well, I'm telling you, you know enough biology to get out of high school, but you don't know what you learned the first year of college. You know, I did in high school, having never gone to college. So I can't share any heady college stories with you guys. But in high school, I, you know, I'm not the sharpest marble in the pouch. I, in grade 12, I started taking grade 12

physics, having never taken grade 10 or 11 physics. And that first class where they're like talking another language entirely, but 10 minutes in, I had to raise my hand and go, am I supposed to know what the hell you guys are talking about? Yeah, that's just from last year.

Oh, well, here's our problem. Oh, last year oh last year oh i just i just skipped right over that literally physics that they invented last year fell out of a turnip truck to come here literally that was always my fear when i was a little kid is like how am i gonna how am i gonna do grade 10 math i don't know that kind of math. I never thought of it as a cumulative, like you'll learn piece by piece. It's so over my head. I remember when I was like, I don't know, eight or nine, and I was washing a spoon in the sink,

and I was like, the way the water was bouncing off the spoon was hypnotic to me. Plus you were super high. Yeah. It was just, I me. Like I thought it was. Plus you were super high. Yeah. It was just, I thought. Gas leak in the house. I was just staring at, I was like, mom, look how cool the water going off the spoon. It's making this weird like splash.

And she was like, you know what? I think you should go into physics when you're a little bit older. When you go to high school, you should take physics. And I did. I think I've never got a worse grade in anything ever. You're like, where's all the spoon water? Yeah. It really is like how, it's just how stuff works, right?

It shouldn't be. Yeah. I don't know if it should be, we should understand it easier because we're surrounded by all damn day, the way the light hits the earth, the way that whatever you put on the brakes, this happens. We're so we should just, it should be physics 101. It should be for all of us. Yeah. But instead it's like this super hard thing. Well, like, cause you have to quantify everything instead of just being like, yeah, if you jump

from that height, you'll hurt yourself. Yeah. Like there's no, that's basically all you. Somebody's got to be, some egghead's got to go, why? Yeah. And then you say, well, you hit the ground. Yeah.

But why doesn't, oh, you're one of those guys. Good Galileo. I remember there'd be, uh, if the only good thing about being in physics in high school was that they would go on a field trip to an amusement park oh boy like and to study the roller coaster or something i don't know to sit on a roller coaster and if you took biology you got to go to a porno movie yeah you got to go to one porno movie. Yeah, you got to go to one porno movie. But everybody had to agree on which porno movie. And so that gummed up the words, you know. Go see Gummed Up the Words.

Yeah. But that was the only plus side. There was a comedian in Toronto who used to do a joke when I was starting out, a guy named Dave O'Loughlin. Very funny stand-up. And he used to do a joke about how, you know, they say everything about physics you can learn at a pool table, and he was like, why aren't we here? Why are we here, you know? Why aren't we down at the pool hall, you know, taking our final with the rest of the Einsteins that are down there?

It is true. Whenever I play pool, I realized like, oh, if I had any grasp of geometry or physics, this would be way easier. Yeah, this would be. And also if I could make the ball go where I wanted it to. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. One of the things that, this, this happens every time. I don't fully understand it. It, it's kind of goofy. When I watch high level snooker, like the top

snooker players play in the world, I giggle while I'm watching it. And there's part of it that's because I, I feel like I'm seeing people do something they shouldn't be able to do. You know, those shots that they do in snooker and the snooker pocket is so unforgiving and the pool table is so huge.

So huge. And it's just, and they're doing crazy bank shots. I have a bunch of questions. Oh. Anyway, it makes me laugh. What's the difference between snooker and pool? Sizes of table as well. Yeah, size of table and pockets and the way you have to sink the balls in order and color.

And what, how many hours a year are you spending watching snooker? About, about seven a day, seven hours a day watching snooker. Now that YouTube is around. I mean, in the old days it was hard. I could barely find two hours of snooker. We weren't broadcasting it, but I got all

these videotapes. But it's, I also find it very calming. Right. And, uh, so if I'm ever flipping through the TV dial and see a snooker game, there's your physics, me putting on the brakes. I'm watching this for a while. What about darts?

No interest at all in darts. Seems childish to me. They did a game for infants. Darts really got weird in that. i don't know when it started but all these guys would have dyed hair well there's that one guy but then i watched one where both of the guys had dyed hair and i was like is this just darts is this what darts is now they're all trying to be the rebel right yeah well what what in that world isn't the guy who's the goody two-shoes? Yeah, you can show up in a suit, a little briefcase with darts inside it. Milk and cookies.

Yeah. People are like, who's this outlaw? Yeah, anytime I've been to a pool hall, it's not who I thought would be at a pool hall based on movies. I always thought it'd be mostly bikers and, you know, like a couple of guys. Hustlers. Hustlers. And a lot of beautiful babes. And it's never. It's just beautiful babes.

It's just beautiful babes. Yawn. See you later. It's all teenagers who don't have anywhere else to go. A bowling alley is exactly who you'd expect. Yeah, pretty on the money, on the news. That's true. Dude's literally wearing bowling shirts.

Yeah. Oh, man. I was in a bowling league when I was in like junior high, five pin bowling league. And your American listeners will find that entertaining. They seem, Americans seem fascinated. When I, when I mentioned I'm from Canada down there, there's a lot of five pin bowling

questions or just mockery of the five pin bowling. And I get weirdly patriotic. Like I have no affinity for five pin bowling, but I'll get my hackles up. Yeah. I told one guy in the States, I said, that's not even, I said, in Canada, we have two pin bowling.

That's where the skill is. It's the ball's the size of a lemon. The alley's a kilometer long. Highest score ever is two. I get my hackles up. Anyway, yeah, I was, and we couldn't wear the thing that, so this would be, you know, mid seventies, I guess. And you weren't allowed the thing that, so this would be, you know, mid-70s, I guess.

And you weren't allowed to wear blue jeans. You couldn't wear dungarees. Oh, boy. Holy. In the 70s. What a. I wanted to rebel like Billy Jack. Take my shoes and socks off.

He didn't say anything about that. Oh, uh, the, uh, uh, was this a bowl, like a, uh, sorry, a bowling alley rule or your school rule or. It was a league rule. League rule. So if you were just, uh, whoever showing up to bowl for fun on a Saturday afternoon or whatever,

sure. No, but if you were in the league. Right. You had to wear your. You couldn't bowl. Your jumpsuit. You got out of the Eaton. Right. You had to wear your jumpsuit. You got out of Eaton's catalog. You had to wear a Spider-Man outfit.

Was mine just been his kink? Come to think of it. Why did it have to be assless? What's that? Hang on. I feel like a real rube now. Yeah. Why were we taking everything?

The owner of the bowling alley said his gospel. A real rube now that I've. Yeah. Why were we taking everything? The owner of the bowling alley said his gospel. And he was classic too. He, um, he was just like right out of a cartoon. He always had like a stubby part of a cigar that wasn't lit. Like maybe two inches coming out of his, like an inch and a half out of his mouth. Wow. Just gnawing on it.

And he was like a big. Yeah. He looked like a cartoon bowling alley owner, you know? I don't like the smoking. I just, I need to yellow my teeth. Yeah. This is part of the uniform, the bowling alley owner's uniform. The, uh, I remember the first time, uh, that I was told I couldn't wear jeans somewhere. And it blew my mind as a kid.

Cause I was like, what? The universal pants? Like, and it was. It as a kid because i was like what the universal pants and it was good enough for the farmers i never owned jeans till i was like nine i was i was just jogging pants oh yeah just jogging pants pretty much and then i remember i need to talk to your parents a bit about this about why that was allowed to be a thing i don't think well i mean i would wear like church pants to church and then jogging pants to school. And then I would, uh, I think eight or nine, I remember I got a pair of jeans and I went

over to my neighbor's house. His first words to me were, first pair of jeans. I thought I was really pulling them off. Yeah, you're wearing them wrong. An hour later, you were pulling them off. These things are riding up and pinching. They're not, I'm surprised that they became the universal pants, as you said, because they're heavy. Yeah.

They're, I don't know. They're kind of warm. Yeah. And they can be constricting. They don't flex or stretch to them unless you get stretched denim jeans. I love them. So it's surprising that that was, you know, when we

were all panning for gold, I get it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because you would think like a cotton, a pant. Yeah, a lovely linen suit. Why didn't that become the thing? Because I, when I get home, if I've been wearing jeans all day, I will keep my jeans on

even though they're not, you know, they're not pajamas. I know some people who the moment they get home, Oh, these jeans are too much. Right. I got to. Yeah. All of a sudden they're the most cumbersome thing

in your world, in your life. But yeah, the rest of the day they were fine. Nancy is quick to get in her pajamas, man. Yeah. It's like the whole, yeah, the rest of the day they were fine. Nancy is quick to get in her pajamas, man. Yeah. It's like the whole, it's the goal of the day, all day long. That's the finish line. Put this other garbage behind us and I can get home and get into my pajamas. It is a beautiful thing.

What's the earliest, I mean, I guess on the weekend. I mean, if there's nowhere to be. Yeah. Why take them off? Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure there have been those days where it's just like, you know, I'm not going anywhere. I'm nowhere to be. Yeah. Why take them off? Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure there have been those days where it's just like, you know, I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not doing anything. Yeah. Cause she always gets up in her house coat and has coffee and then, you know, goes on Twitter for a bit. And we're getting the real scoop here. And then goes up late and then, you know, gets dressed and ready for the day.

Right. Whereas I, I just get dressed when I get up and come downstairs, I and ready for the day. Right. Whereas I just get dressed when I get up and come downstairs. I'm ready for the day. Ready to go. Ready to get fired out of a cannon at the day. Yeah. I, uh, some, I've definitely had those days

where I started in whatever I slept in and then I'm going back to bed. I just feel awful. I'm like, oh, I didn't even change out or something. And then back into this, I just somehow managed to float through the day in this one outfit. Oh, but you know what? I'll do it again. Yeah.

Yeah. There's worse crimes. I'm sure. I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I'm sure there are. How were you, how did you do in the bowling league? Not very well. It was very fun. I enjoyed it.

We had, you know, me and buddies. And so it was a fun thing to do. We used to, every, one year was every Wednesday night and then it was every Sunday night was another year. And then there was a big bowling league dinner at the end of the year. That was always fun. But yeah, I was kind of food. Are we talking about at a bowling league dinner again? Pretty, you know, brief beef jerky pickled eggs again on the money on the nose, half a bag of potato chips on every table.

Yeah. It'd be like, you know what? They would get the local ladies group, you know, whatever the canettes or something would be hired to put together a roast beef dinner. Wow. A roast beef dinner. So it was good. Yeah. And it was something, it was no, uh, it was a pricey endeavor.

And then they would give it the awards to everybody who got the highest double of the, you know, whatever. And, um, what we might, me and my team, we never participated in any of the, you know, whatever. And, um, what we, my, me and my team, we never participated in any of the hardware. I mean, those bowling trophies, they're, they're, they're classic. Yeah. There's still, you still see them today. Oh man.

We, um, we used to do, uh, me and my poker buddies, other standups that, you know, that were part of my regular poker crew. Um, when they, when season one of corner gas, I decided, I didn't know there's going to be multiple seasons and I thought I'm going to be a big wheel. I thought this was my one chance to be like a big

TV, big wheel. And I put all my buddies from Vancouver on a plane and flew them out to Saskatchewan where we were filming for poker night. And one of the guys I said, do we have to have a suit and a hat to travel in? Right. So I saddled them with that.

One of the guys. Like, this guy never been traveling before and you were telling him like, oh, when traveling. That's the way it's done. I specifically saddled them with it. I was like, if I'm paying the freight here. Yeah. You got to jump through some hoops.

And so they told the people in the plane that they were on, like going to a big tournament and everything. And they got announced over the plane. We got the Canadian poker champion here. They were feeding them all kinds of lies. But anyway, one of the fellows, Sam Easton, didn't own a suit. And so he said, okay, you can travel, but as soon as we land, we're going to value village and you're going to buy a suit for a quarter or whatever.

Oh man, did he find a beauty of a suit? It was from the eighties called big steel. It was a big steel brand suit from the eighties and the hat that he found, there was a denim cowboy hat. Oh, also in the suit, there was a pair of women's glasses, just the frames, no glass in them. And he pulled them out of the pocket and he was like, there's these two.

And the guy was like, ah, you can just have those. So he wore those all night. It was a fantastic ensemble. A big red glasses and a cowboy hat. I was calling them Sally, Jesse Whitman. You're like Sally, Jesse Whitman. Oh boy. But anyway, the point I was getting to is we're

talking to trophies. When we were at Valley Village, we saw a trophy there and this was going to be the poker that we should have to play for something. Yeah. So this trophy was 75 cents and it just said, we bought it because it said proficiency award. It didn't say for what.

The ambiguity of it was too tempting. There was no bowler on it? No. It's like a pair of kind of wings. Oh, sure. And then it says proficiency award. So that became the Flatland Poker Classic. And for six years, the guys would come out every year during production of Corner Gas.

So I'd pick the weekend and production would work around that weekend. And, uh, the guys would come up. And would, and people would take home the proficiency award for the year. Oh, that's amazing. Uh,

yeah. I remember finding a bowling trophy that was also an ashtray. I gave it away, but it was a trade trophy and it had the winner's names on it, but it was also just a giant ashtray and there was a woman bowler

in the middle of it nice again pretty on brand yeah yep they knew what was she made of like tin

or something she was yeah she was like a little cheap metal could you ash on her head you could ash on her head

sure absolutely disrespect I mean is that the point of having a thing in the middle, like to scrape? I don't know. I think you could pick it up. Pick up.

Oh, okay. Move it around the house. I don't know. Do you move an ashtray around the house or do you have a different ashtray? The big standup ones. I mean, I had one back in my smoking days. The big standup ones? Yeah, the standup one.

And it was an Impala, like was the hand leaping across the bowl of the ashtray. This big brass Impala. And that's what you'd pick up and move it if you needed to. Very impressive. Very. How tall are we talking about?

So it would be like table height, maybe lower in table height. So if you, it was comfortable if you're in a chair, right? So what's that three feet or less? This is. 30 inches off the ground. Yeah.

It's like a weird piece of furniture that. Yeah. And some of them used to have, it'd be the ashtray up top and then a magazine rack at the bottom, like a magazine holder and a lamp would be off the top. Hell of a complex piece. Like this is one thing would serve eight uses

around the house. Yeah. But mostly. Mostly smoking. It's smoking based. And then maybe you want to read while you're smoking. Yeah. Who knows what else you want to do.

All that other ancillary crap. Yeah. While you're. But how can I, how can I ash in something? We're going to build, build it out from the ash. Yeah. Surely to God, they're going to want to smoke while they're, whatever they're doing.

Somebody showed me, I saw a picture of like an early, early computer program thing and it had an ashtray built into it. Like, like how a car would have an ashtray built into it, into the body of the computing machine. Cup holders. An ashtray.

They were like, they couldn't imagine a human not smoking. No. So. That, that was, that was the thing. It is weird that like for the, the, the smoking was such a big thing that ashtrays have always been in cars and cup holders haven't. Yeah. We only started enjoying beverages around the early nineties.

Yeah. Well, you can't drive drunk. Well, no, but there's other drinks. What? Who the hell wants those? Yeah. I remember hotels still will have the little ashtray by the elevator. The sandy?

Yeah. Which is either that sand is replaced regularly or that's the last time time like, oh, this is the last time we have to change the sand. Unless it's like in, I mean, there's no buildings, I don't think in the country where you can smoke anymore, but maybe in like Vegas. Yeah. And they got all the sand you need. That's why it was built in the desert was the amount of smoking that was going to go. There must have been one sand concern that was like, yeah, we do a cigarette with cigarette sand. You might, that's a, that's gotta be a thing.

There's a catalog probably. Cigarette grade. Cause sometimes, you know, sometimes it's beige, sometimes it's white. Yeah. Yeah. And that really. We bleach sand. that'd be a hard job coloring sand there's gotta be grain by grain if you go to the jeweler's eyepiece and crown

some of these like i bet there's conventions where oh yeah just sand yeah well it's like the old uh uh my friend had a magazine on his coffee table that was an old pot magazine like from the 70s i guess and in the back pages there was all these ads for like cocaine accessories okay like a a nice you know a ring Yeah, a silver straw ring. A long fingernail. A Lee press on. A filthy baggie. But like a specialized like mirror to do. Oh, sure. Like a necklace that was a razor for cutting it up.

And so there was somebody who was a salesman that was like, I do cocaine and cocaine accessories. Cocaine-related product. I feel like anything, no matter what industry, if it was in the back of a magazine, it was you were buying it from some scummy office. Yeah. That's where the world of Amazon is different. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now it's all centralized. I also like growing up, if anyone had a small scale, like an electronic scale, like, Oh, they're a drug dealer. Yeah. And this,

but now you can get one on Amazon for sure. So you can measure out how much coffee you need to make it just the right way. Yeah. Do you ever order anything out of the back of a magazine? You seem like an x-ray specs kind of guy. I used to stare at the ads. I mean, I never had any kind of disposable income as a youngster to send away for stuff like that. But we did, my brother sent away for, you know,

the sea monkeys. Yeah. And then it's not at all like the fanciful playground that is depicted on the back of the mountain. They're just like brine shrimp, right? Yeah. They do nothing.

It's just a cloudy glass of water. And then my brother was like saying that he needed another two bucks to, to get food for them. Dad's like, they're going to die. I'm here to tell you, you're not ordering food for the cup of shrimp. That is food.

That's what we use to catch food. But on the package, it's like, uh, they're sitting on a couch. playing guitar they got a crown the king and the queen has a crown yeah i want to meet uh who was the person who visually interpreted what then what the product was into this because they're a genius they sold so much shrimp i was doing a bit in my stand-up act a while and it never really, it kind of worked. I should have flushed it out more. Maybe I will try and flush it out more.

But just that notion that there was so much lying in advertising that they had to pass laws. But yeah, you can't just say cigarettes will make you taller. You can't, you know. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I'll like watch like one of those investigative consumer shows yeah and uh there was one i was watching where the woman found something that had all these claims on it you know prevents cancer and all this stuff it was like chia seeds or something yeah

and then she said she called the company and said hey Hey, I'm from CBC and you have this. And then they recalled all the products in Canada. So they were just, they did it as long as. Right. Until we get caught. Yeah. Until we get caught. And then we'll just recall it.

I mean, chia seeds, they're going to get caught in your teeth. Yeah. I may have told you guys this story before on this show. You can cut it out if I have. But one of my favorite ads of all time, truth in advertising. So in the back of weekly world news, which I used to buy religiously, I loved weekly world news.

You ever see it? Bad boy. Yeah. Black and white tabloid. It was just, they would just say whatever they wanted. Anyway, there was an ad on the back of this thing for, it looked like a satellite dish, but it really, it was just an antenna, like a R, rabbit ears basically for your TV and the, all

the selling points, it was pretty masterful. Everything that was a piece of junk about this, everything that made this a piece of junk, they spun into a fantastic selling point, right? You receive no cable bills because you received no cable. And then my favorite one was actually pulls signals out of the air.

Like everything that you would, that would make you go, well, this is a piece of crap. They spun it into a, they put a front and center, hung their hat on it. I just read this article about the, I only read it because of the click-a-baity headline of it. It was that this is the one word that people use that gets people's like, uh, makes people think

they're lying. Actually. And the one word was actually. Actually. Ah. I wouldn't have thought of that except I had just said it. Yeah.

Huh. Actually pulls signals out of the air. So that's a red flag that it makes you feel as though you're being lied to if somebody's saying actually. I buy that because it's kind of. Actually it's. And it's also very. There's a smugness about it too. Yeah.

Even if you didn't think it was lying, it's like, well, it's at least off-putting. Well, actually what you didn't touch on there, Brent. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Nothing really. So you got a car now for the next little while. For the next couple of weeks, yeah. What's that about? Tell me the story of that.

I was lent a car by some people who are out of the country so pretty good road trip yeah uh and i wonder if you know this because this is something that bothers me so much when i'm driving and i assume it's common knowledge but you drive around and nobody is doing it. So when you see like something that has been sawed out of the road. Yeah. Like there's like a diamond or a circle. Do you know what that is? When, I don't think I understand. So like if you're waiting at a stoplight and there's like what looks like

they've carved something out of the road some shape into the road okay and that's like you know as wide as the lane okay yeah yeah that means that there's some kind of sensor underneath there and i don't think other people know this because you will see them in the left turn lanes they'll always have one at the front and then one like two car lengths behind it. Right. So if there's three cars waiting, they know they can give you an advanced left turn. Oh.

But if there's only two cars waiting, the second car can just wait behind on that. And trigger the. And trigger the. But no one does it. And I'm like, I just like, I'm just saying this in case people don't know it. Huh? I didn't know it. Did you know it? No, I did not does it. And I'm like, I just, like, I'm just saying this in case people don't know it.

Huh. I didn't know it. Did you know it? No, I did not know it. So if you, if you see those big shapes, like, especially in a left turn lane. Huh. Beware that you could, you can trigger that. I think cars have to be on both of them, but.

Okay. Huh. Because sometimes I'm waiting at a left turn light and there's a car right behind me and I'm like, you idiot. We could be going ahead of everyone. Yeah. But I'm also, I'm enraged if I go to, if I'm coming out to be the third guy and I move up already. Why are you so far back? Right.

Well, no, but you, you have to, you have to be sharp. You have to be on it. Yeah. I don't, uh, but you, you have to, you have to be sharp. You have to be on it. Yeah. I don't, uh, yeah, I don't know anything about, I don't know anything about sensors, uh, in the road. Like. What about chemtrails?

I mean, I. Oh, I know a lot about that. Actually, you guys. Um. The government made me forget about chemtrails by going over my house several times. Yeah, no, I didn't know about that. So that's more of a public service announcement.

I don't know if it's everywhere, but in this city. Talk about roundabouts, too. That drives me nuts. There's a lot of roundabouts here. Well, maybe a lot of cities don't have them. Just casual roundabouts, right? And people don't know. And I feel it's partly the city's fault.

Yeah. They threw these roundabouts in without educating people at all. Yeah, they threw them in after everyone already had their licenses. Yeah. And so, so many people have no, it's such a cluster. You know what. When you get there. Yeah.

And nobody, nobody knows. Everybody thinks that they're for just U-turning. That seems to be what people use them for. I think people treat it like four-way stop, right? And it's not like that. It's actually kind of the exact opposite. Because it's the flow like a clock, right? And whoever is A in the roundabout first has a right-of-way.

And whoever's on the left of the first one. If two people arrive at the same time, the one on the left. A lot of people think it's supposed to be like a four-way stop thing. So they'll be outraged that you're on the left and you're going, it's not my turn. You're like, really?

But I don't think that a lot of people here seem to understand how a four-way stop works either. Yeah. That's a whole other level. There's a lot of. A lot of people get in their car and don't know how to start it. They just sit there all day

pushing buttons. My rule is... Flapping things up and down. If anyone hesitates, then they lose their turn. They lose out. At a roundabout. Oh, roundabout, yeah.

But like, I've been at four-way stops where I'm like, well, it's me. And they're like, but is it me? And they start. It's a battle of wills at that point.

If you pause too long at a four-way stop, someone will be like, then maybe I was here first. Have you ever been a friend in line at a, you know, the red light and the light turns green for a hundredth of a millionth of a second. The guy behind you honks his horn. They got to be sitting there with their hand on the horn, right? I also feel like the way people use horns, everyone gets offended by it.

And it's like, it like, it's very judgy. Yeah. Whereas other, like in Asia, horns are just going all the time. Everybody's is like, come on by, here I am. Like, I'm just letting you know. Yeah. It's weird that if you wanted to say hello to somebody on the street that you know, or wave at them, that the only option you have is the same thing. It's the same noise as the rage, I want to kill you.

Yeah. Nancy feels that any horn she hears, no matter how far away is directed at us. She's like, go. It'd be like, she's like, why are they honking at us? They're not, they're nine blocks away. That's the police.

Why are they sirening us? Sirening? She's ready for a scrap. Yeah. Who's honking at us? There's not us, they're honkinging us. Sirening. She's ready for a scrap. Yeah. Who's honking at us? There's not us. They're honking at us. So yeah, that's what's going on with me.

That's one thing. Yeah. The other thing is, do you ever get just like a line from a song stuck in your head? Yeah. But you don't know why. And it's like, it's not a great line. You just can't stop repeating it. Yeah.

Okay. So I had this song this line from the song it's by the pretenders okay middle of the road and the line is in the middle of the road you see the strangest things like fat guys driving round jeeps through the city wearing big diamond rings and silk suits that That is? What do you mean not a great line? Well, the thing is, it doesn't rhyme. It's too many syllables. It's just like, it's a weird.

That's like one of those things that just, as the eyes are scouring around, you're writing down whatever you see. Yeah, yeah. But like, there's not a lot of songs. Yes, I finished the song. There's not a lot of lyrics in music about fat guys. In like serious songs guys in suits fat guys in jeeps wearing fat guys driving around in jeeps through the city

wearing big diamond rings and silk suits that really was about a very specific person yeah but like she says it like fat guys like you see so many of you know you know how you see that all the time but there was whoever whoever that lyric was about he heard that song it was like hey wait a minute i'm your lawyer it's glandular yeah and i sold that jeep you said you like these silk suits. Multiple diamond rings. I have one. I've had over the last few days, cause I heard it on the radio.

Um, and it's just, and I don't even like the song, but it's stuck in my head. Legit bungle in the jungle. Mm. Jethro Tull, right?

In the mid seventies. Kind of. Bungle in the jungle. it's the worst it's uh co-written by don king yeah the song that i think in that league that's just such a dumb song but it will get stuck in my head is abracadabra by steve mill. Oh boy. My buddy Garth growing up, who, man, he could make me laugh. Such a funny guy. And one of the things that he always did

that made me laugh was he, you know, songs that don't quite rhyme, he would force them to rhyme. And Abracadabra is one of those. He'd always sing, Abracadabra, I want to reach out and grabra. He would force the rhyme. That would always make me laugh.

But yeah, it's, yeah, so how long has that been stuck in a couple days oh boy if i kept driving around in jeeps i'm gonna look up the lyrics later and find out i'm completely wrong yeah that you've made up this lyric yeah but it's like it's it it just it's so many details and so many syllables such a weird turn in a serious song uh and it is it's it it just it's so many details and so many syllables such a weird turn in a serious song uh and it is it's a serious song i mean it's a rock song yeah but it's not like serious as a song can be yeah it's not like short people yeah yeah yeah reason to no it's not i don't think it's satire. I had a teacher in junior high who was short and took that song at face value. It was like, was really insulted by it. And the whole, like the whole point of the song is like, you should be, you know.

Yeah. You should be championing this song. He wouldn't let you play it at the school dance. He believed every word Randy Newman everman ever said like this guy loves la yeah he wants to blow up the world does he say in in i love la is the line big nasty redhead by my side i don't know i think it's nasty big nasty redhead by my side again that was written about somebody very specific. Kathy Griffin. Oh, speaking of Kathy Griffin,

this is a weird thing. It was written about the day he met David Caruso. Kathy, I was watching Pulp Fiction and in the credits, she's in it for a second,

Kathy Griffin. She's like in it at the at the crash scene where Bruce Willis runs into Ving Rhames' character in his car. She's the one that's like, somebody call 911. And in the credits, everybody's got a character name, but Kathy Griffin as herself. Oh. I like that.

Good for her. That's how you get on the D-list. Yeah, yeah. Like, but like in that scene, she was comedian Kathy Grimm. On her way to a gig. From a gig. Was she famous then? No, not really.

Like, it would have been when she was on Seinfeld. That kind of era. So, yeah, it was just weird. Like, this one line. But it wasn't a cameo like, oh my god, you're Kathy Green. Yeah, anyways, weird. So, yeah, that's me imparting some driving wisdom and just got this one line stuck in my head.

I'm going to check in with you tomorrow, see if it's still there. Still rattling around in your head. Um, uh, as for myself, yes, had this car. Uh huh.

So, exactly. I don't know why, where that comes into play. Um, uh, last weekend, the Richmond dump had an open house.

So I, Whoa. So I went to that. Okay. So Richmond, the suburb of Vancouver. Yes. Got a giant dump out there. Like a truck?

Yeah. Oh yeah. They, a landfill, a dump. A dump. A proper dump. Is it a landfill or is it a dump? What's the difference? Don't.

Just wording. Yeah. When I was growing up is it a dump? What's the difference? Don't know. Just wording. Yeah. When I was growing up, it was called the nuisance ground. Well, because like the- The nuisance ground. The nuisance ground. Go to the nuisance ground. In Vancouver, you drop your stuff off at the dump, but I don't think they keep it there.

No, but this dump is separate from, it's a private. It's a dump and stay. Yeah, this is like. Not a dump and go, which is where I get my gas. And so they had this open house. What is that? Do they have a house there? No, but the public could come in and they had, you could go on like.

Where did you find out about this? Community newsletter. The coffee bean? Yeah. Um, but they, they had like, you know,

a barbecue out. They were making hot dogs for kids this year. God knows what. On a stick. On a stick made of God knows what. A barbecue that they found. Someone threw away a perfectly good barbecue. Let's have an open house. That's what the sign said. We're having a perfectly good let's have an open house that's what the sign said

we're having a perfectly good barbecue now rat free enjoy your barbecue the uh and then there was uh you could go on a like basically on a tour of the whole dump and how big is the dump huge Huge. Like a thousand. I know that around harvest time they make a trash maze for the kids. I'm going to smell my way out of here. But this is

what I didn't realize. I guess I didn't ever think about this but like dumps at a certain point they're done. Like you can't put any more garbage in the ground. So then it just. Just throw it in the ocean. That it becomes just, it just reverts back to being plain old land.

Like they put grass and trees on it and then they're like, you can build a house on it if you want or whatever. Call it Granville Island. Yeah. Yeah. Did that used to be a. Yeah, that was a want or whatever. Call it Granville Island. Yeah. Yeah. Did that used to be a? Yeah, that was a landfill dump, wasn't it? Granville Island? I don't know.

Wow. See, there you go. This is news I can use. Write your own article for the coffee bean. Would you live on top of a dump? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Of course. And I, you know. I guess, but like if maybe people are unknowingly living on dumps right now. Yeah. Well. Yeah. Of course. And I, you know. I guess, but like if, maybe people are unknowingly living on dumps right now. Yeah. Well, I didn't know. When I was a kid, we would go out and play at the dump, out at the nuisance ground.

What was your favorite, what's your best find? Well, the thing we would do mainly, we would go out and gather as many aerosol cans as you could and tape them together and throw them in a fire and run like hell, you know? And it'd be like an atom bomb would go off. That was the big fun of the day. Yeah.

Just, just innocent fun. How many bonfires were going at the dump? Oh, there's always lots. Like always a half a dozen minimum on the go. It was a nuisance ground. Yeah. Everybody would take garbage out and burn it. That was the thing.

Right, of course. You know, there was no burning regulation. Yeah. We, when I was a kid, we all had a burning barrel in the back alley. Oh, wow. And you'd take your garbage out and you'd burn it. And then you're like, there you go.

Harmless. Yeah. Harmless smoke. Yeah. Planet doing great. And just embers too, like red embers drifting off. Yeah. You know.

I'm surprised there weren't like 20 house fires a week in town, but there never seemed to be. It's funny that like global warming happened so fast. Yeah. Like we've been around for a long time and then. And we really managed to just, I think it was like plastics and we just went bananas. Yeah. Everything became plastic.

Coal and plastic, right? Yeah. That was the, cars I guess were a big part of it. Yeah. Boats. Yeah. It's pretty impressive though

in a weird way. Like it's like grossly impressive I guess would be the, but can you think of any other species that like has the ability to just destroy the planet that they're on? I mean.

I'm mad with power now when I think of it as a human. I mean, on, on our planet or on other planets? I can't imagine any planet that was populated by critters that could, uh. That would just like invent seemingly new ways to destroy their own habitat. I was thinking about this the other day and I thought,

so if that was for whatever reason, I can't create a hypothesis that you would need to do for mankind to survive, earth has to be blown to bits, right? Right. That kind of thing. You took all the nuclear warheads that are on the earth now, and you like drilled holes, like in around the perimeter of the earth right okay yeah and set them all off at once it would just blow the planet physics 101 this is physics 101 people now listen if you're an evil villain

out there and he was evil super villain don't take this plan and run with it i'm speaking hypothetically here but my favorite is uh in those movies where somebody has the scientist starts explaining they ask the scientist to explain it and then he starts explaining it using science words yep and then everybody whoa whoa whoa then some hot shot is saying, save the mumbo jumbo. Hey, ooh, I'm speaking English here, Dr. Egghead. You know, like, seconds ago, you asked me. And you knew he was a scientist. We just wrote this joke into a script on Corner Gas Animated where Wanda's programmed a computer game, and my character, Brent, says to her,

how did you make these changes so fast? Explain to me how you made these changes so fast. And she starts talking in technical and very condescendingly, my character goes, well, I'm a, I think you've forgotten. I don't know what any of these words mean. So what, what, what was it? The dump? Uh, well, like I say, they take, they take you around to all the different parts. Uh, there's like the giant wood pile, giant drywall pile, giant shingles pile. And then there was like the big area.

Did you walk in the buddy system or was it single file through the shingle pile? Don't go alone. It was, we were all on a wagon. It was being pulled by a truck. It was the best. So there was no exploring at your own pace. No, no, no. They were singing junk songs.

You couldn't junk shanties. You couldn't sneak off behind the drywall and make out. No, no, no. There was all covered in white dust. What are you tubing up to? Heavy petting by the asbestos. And then they had like a section that was just like stuff that I guess somebody had saved that you could have. You know, like it was just like a table of stuff.

It was all covered in filth. So it was like a globe, but covered in filth. And then like bikes that were all rusty. I mean, a globe covered in filth is pretty symbolic. That's true. That's true. It was more of an art piece. Yeah.

Yeah. Statement. But yeah, the big takeaway was that eventually this whole dump land will just be some neighborhood and nobody will know that they're sitting on it. So relax. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it looks like crap now, but it's going to be a lovely neighborhood one day. And it's right next to a giant golf course, too. That's a perfect thing to put on top of that.

That probably used to be a trash dump. Yeah. A golf course. Yeah. Now it's a lovely. Yeah. A golf course. Yeah. Now it's a lovely.

And the whole time when I saw that golf course, I thought of that episode of the Simpsons where they put too much garbage underground and it comes up through the golf hole. Oh boy. Anyways, if you're local, nuisance grounds. Or looking to get away somewhere. Yeah. From another city. Yeah, that's true. Come visit Richmond as an open house.

We do have a lot of people who write us and they're like saying, we're coming to Vancouver. What should we check out? Go to the dump. Go to the dump.

Yeah. How long is the open house on? Apparently you can go every week they have an open house but it was just on Saturday this week

so I was able to go. Is it, when does it, when's it going to close? Is this like a, like, how many more Saturdays do I have? Oh, like 20, 30 or something. Oh, good. Yeah, we've got lots of time.

Bring Margo. She'd love it. Hopefully bring my grandkids. Yeah, you can attend the reception of your grandkids' wedding. Find the dress out there and everything. The denim cowboy hat I'm going to wear. Oh, boy. Do we want to move on to a little bit of business?

Sure. Graham, you know what's not smart? What? I mean, let me make you a quick list. Okay. Running towards a natural disaster. You know, fiddling around with DNA. Well, that's true.

What's not smart is the way hiring used to be. Job sites that overwhelm you with tons of wrong resumes. Now there's a smarter way at ziprecruiter.com slash stop. ZipRecruiter's powerful matching technology does a quick DNA match. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It finds a little bit of lizard in all of us. Nature finds a way. There's some lizard up in there.

Their powerful matching technology finds the right people for you and actively invites them to apply instead of passively you know being like okay you know maybe look there's a job here it's not gonna fill itself take it or leave it yeah but no, they actively do it. They're not even passive aggressive like that. You know, you could be doing some good in the world. Yeah. Time to lean, time to clean. It's no wonder that ZipRecruiter is rated number one by employers in the US.

This rating comes from hiring sites on Trustpilot with over 1,000 reviews. And right now, our listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash stop. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash S-T-O-P. Bay-bay. Now let's get back to the show, Rockapella. I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorne, and justice is within your reach. My mom refuses to take my phone calls. My boyfriend says I should take our cats with me to graduate school but I think he should keep them.

In the court of Judge John Hodgman, justice rules. My partner's board game collection is out of control. My sister won't stop stealing my clothes. I'm Judge John Hodgman. I'm tough but fair. I'll bring you justice and I'm only a click away. Tipping. Automotive etiquette. Siblings.

Roommates. If you've got a case, go to MaximumFun.org slash JJHO. Judge John Hodgman is tough but fair. Subscribe to the podcast today. Judge John Hodgman is tough, but fair. Tough, but fair. Subscribe to the podcast today. Judge John Hodgman rules. That is all.

Overheard. Overheard. Now, Graham, before we get into overheards, a topic of conversation crossed my mind. We got chili upstairs. Abby's made a delicious chili. Okay. Now just, just my chair spinning. Like it just.

Once I heard that, I'm out of here. We. Brent. Brent. Just a cloud of you. And there was a, there was an open bag of just corn chips. Not nachos. Just little.

What would you describe them? Corn chips. Corn chips. Yeah. would you describe them? Corn chips? Corn chips. Yeah. I would describe them as corn chips. Fritos? Is that what Fritos are? Mm-hmm.

Anyway, so what are your top things you would put on a chili? Birthday candles, number one. Dollop of vanilla ice cream. You know, like shredded cheese. Yeah. Delicious.

Um, Brent? Yeah, I'll go around. Let's all go around and we'll do like a fantasy pool. Yeah. I mean, if I'm being. A snake draft. If I'm being honest and I feel like I should, I

know you guys well enough that I can open up. It would be shredded cheese for sure. Sour cream. But I like the idea. I'm not big into sour cream and I don't hate it. I'm not storming out in a huff if there's sour cream on the chili, but left to my own devices, I'm not putting sour cream on it.

But I like the idea of corn chips on chili. Yeah, me too. I've never heard of it before. It's a. Oh, it's a classic. Yeah. It's a. It's an Abby a classic. Yeah. It's a. It's an Abby classic.

Yeah. Yesterday I was home alone. And I, you know, this chili's a week, a week of meals. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so I had dinner by myself, poached an egg, put it on top of the chili. Delicious.

Breakfast chili. Good morning chili. Chili. Good morning chili. I do like a dish like that where you're like, you can't make it in a singular night's quantity. You can't just have one night of chili. Yeah. There's no recipe for like macaroni and cheese for two.

375 milliliters of chili. Yeah. So yeah, I like that. I like day three of something. Day three of spaghetti. And it always gets more flavorful, right? The longer it, I was going to say osmosis, that's not the term. It all gels together.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It, you know, gels together. Yeah. I mean, exactly what you said. It gels together. You heat it up, it gels apart. in little pieces on the floor too wild piece together it's broken some odds there yeah it gels apart um overheard's a segment where we hear things

and we discuss them things or maybe see things maybe Maybe you smell things. That's up to you. Have we done an over smelled? I don't think so, but I'm open to it. I've never been a part of an over smelled. Is this something you guys do on a regular basis on this show? No, no, no. But you know, if it ever came up. A fresh new wrinkle? Yeah.

What'd you smell of the dump? It smelled fine. Oh really? Yeah. It's like, uh, because they also have a torch that's just burning off all the like gas that would come off of the dump. So yeah. So it's not. You know, I'm from another time, fellas.

I'm quite a bit older than you guys. And, um, you grew up in a rural, you know, Saskatchewan. So at the nuisance ground, there was one area that was just carcass pit. Oh, wow. For animals that had, you know, whatever bits of old farm animals that were, but it was nightmarish to go.

You'd look down in the pit and the stench and the, you know, it was the thing of nightmares. My God. Yeah. I, well, I can imagine. It's just a pit of cow faces. Yeah. Guts and legs.

Carcass pit. Down to the carcass pit. They're playing this weekend. Yeah, they're horrible. We always like to start Overheards with the guest. Oh. Oh. Would you lead the way?

I've been sitting on this one for a little while because I enjoyed this and I could envision, I hope I'm not wrong. I could envision the two of you enjoying this. That's why I sat on it. You put pictures of our smiling faces on your vision board. It's so hard to find pictures of you guys smiling. I ended up photoshopping. We are the Buster Keatons of our time. Julia Roberts mouth on both of you guys smiling. I ended up photoshopping. We are the Buster Keatons of our time. Julia Roberts

mouth on both of you guys. So this is going back a little while now. I've been holding on this. So the memory isn't fresh, but I remember enjoying this in the moment. It was I came into a conversation, right? That was in mid-go flow, a splatch as Rich

Hall used to say. Jelling together. It was jelling apart as I walked up. And so two women talking, one woman is talking to the other and she's heated. She's hot as a Hornet. She's mad about something that's happened at work. Right.

She's relaying. She's a, you get the feeling she's getting some shit off her chest about work to her other friend. And so she's saying, so I don't know the buildup to it was part way through, but she was saying, and so then I get an email back from her saying, no, I didn't do whatever I was supposed to do.

And I said, well, I sent you the email a while back and then she writes back to me and says that my email was too confusing that she didn't figure it out which is total bullshit it was not confusing the email could not be clear goddamn darcy figured it out darcy under the bus but that wherever she worked that's the barometer of Darcy's the guy. Look, a goddamn Darcy can figure it out. Yeah.

Duh, Darcy. Duh, Darcy. She was so indignant and so angry. Goddamn Darcy figured it out. But it's one of those things too, you know, where you're in this situation, you don't know the backstory, you don't know the principles involved, but right away I was on this woman's side. I hated the person that she was talking about in the email chain. I didn't hate Darcy, but I, Darcy. You get Darcy.

Probably full on dipshit. And I liked the person she was talking to who was right. She was not trying to contribute. She was just like, yeah, get it out. Yeah. I'm here for you.

I mean, yeah, I'm listening. The ending board. And there is, there's always, I feel like, especially if you're new in a business or whatever,

sussing out the Darcy. Yeah. You're like, yeah, if this rolls downhill, like how can I also, how can i also join them i find it very hard not to do this as a parent when like if margo when you meet a junior darcy if margo is three and she's crying poppy is one and she's not crying i try not to be like well the baby's not crying then why

like it's the darcy of emotions yeah play them off each other i try not to do that which one of you is but it crosses my mind a lot full marks by the way for kid naming margo and poppy fantastic thank you we will we also almost went with darcy and darcy darcy and doyoy darcy um dave do you have an overheard mine is a kid's uh one oh yeah so i don't know this counts but you know what? Did 550 episodes, you tried to tell me the rules. So I was telling Margo, so our dog, Grandpa, is 14 years old. 14 and almost a half. Jeez.

And he just had four teeth removed. At the moment, he's on painkillers and antibiotics. Yeah. Antibiotics. And he's just walking around so slowly. And I was saying to Margo, oh, you know, look at our poor dog is getting old and stiff. And she said, yeah, we have to get a new dog soon. Laying down the law. Oh, I take him to the carcass pit. Don't down the log. Oh, I take him

to the carcass pit. Don't stand on sentiment. What are you? She's really like just ripping the bandaid off with you. Oh, okay, so this isn't going to be difficult then. Yeah.

We will be getting a new time yeah uh poppy and i have discussed yeah your position is uh is going to be filled by oh boy uh keep all the weaponry away from margo like i don't like this i don't want her taking this in hand well it's weird because you're like how do we tell a child about death? But she knows. Yeah. She saw The Lion King. Right.

And then the dad gets trampled. I still haven't seen The Lion King. Me neither. Is it a good film? I hear it's a good film. It's fantastic. I should watch it. It was the basis of a bit we used to do on this show when Charlie Demers and I, one time we're casually discussing the Lion King and how we both saw it in the theater.

And then we realized, we were like, wait, what year did this come out? And we looked it up and we were both 14 when it came out. So why were we seeing that in the theater? Why wouldn't you? I thought you were going to say 38 or something you know no we were like 14 that's all right for a disney movie i don't know anyways it felt all right at the time how old do you think graham is i don't know when the lion king came out i'm at that point in my uh life in the arc of my life where yeah like the the 90eties don't seem that long ago

to me. Like they seem contemporary somehow, even though they're, I'm bad with math, 20 some years ago. Yeah. Yeah. 1998 was 20 years ago, right? Yeah.

Yeah. So like almost 30 years ago. 1988 was 30 years ago. How does that work? Uh, but anyway, so. I know that because that's, this is my 30th year of doing standup. Really? I started in February of 88.

Wow. During the winter Olympics. Yeah. You and Elizabeth Manley. Had a bunch of stuff to talk about. What's the deal with Karen Lee Gardner? Good pull on the Elizabeth Manley. I'm trying to think of who.

You're a real, what's the word for, see if you can pull this out, a repository of information. Who would have been the big 88 Olympic stories? The Jamaican bobsled guys. Right. Eddie the Eagle. Yes. And Elizabeth Manley. Elizabeth Manley, Debbie Thomas.

Oh, this was in Calgary, wasn't it? This was in Calgary. So this was right in your backyard, buddy. You were living it. Brian Orser and Brian Boitano. And we. Brian Battle. We were allowed to watch like two hours of Olympics every day when it was on at school whoa yeah because the history

is being made yeah but anyway uh margo saw the lion king and uh this was away at abby's parents place uh one weekend with just abby and so she was watching it on vhs and she said uh did the did the she saw the dad get trampled and said did he die and abby said yeah wow how and and uh abby said well he tried to to save him and and he uh he saved his his son but he didn't make it. No, he died. And then apparently the next day she's like, I want to watch The Lion King again and fast forward to the dad dying. Like that's the only scene she wanted to see. I know what I like. Red flags.

Red flags. Oh, boy. My overheard. Yesard is courtesy of somebody. It had a dog that two girls were really fawning over, but the dog was not into it at all. Dog was just like, come on, let's keep walking. And the girls were fawning over it. And the one girl says, oh, he's not interested right now. I guess maybe we'll see him later.

And the owner said, won't be interested then either. Meow. Woof. Meow. But yeah, I was just like, take it easy. Yeah, fella. I just want to pet your dog. But yeah. yeah fella just want to pet your dog um but yeah i uh i guess maybe it was an indictment of the dog this damn thing's never been interested in anything

i uh i'm just i keep flashing back to this carcass bit great you're having visions of something you never saw. I've never even saw. I guarantee you it's not as bad as what I saw. Whatever horrors your brain is concocting right now can't match the stark reality and stench that... Well, the stench I can't even. Oh, yeah. I can't imagine.

But, yeah. I didn't even think about... like, of course there would be, maybe probably still to this day. But I don't get why, it feels like, couldn't you just do that in your farm somewhere? Why do you got to bring it into closer to town? Dig a hole in your own farm. Bragging rights, that's why.

Look at this. And you just like burn them because like nothing smells better than barbecue. What are we doing? Now, we also have overheard sent in from people all over the place. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Keel. Keel C. I was walking past a playground in my neighborhood when I saw a minivan parked in an area usually reserved for service vehicles with a gas-powered generator running out of it. Red flags.

You want to talk about red flags? I got closer. I saw the sliding door was open and inside the customized interior was a very overweight man wearing only sunglasses and tighty whities sitting in a full-size recliner. Another red flag. I thought he was going to be sat in a suit and diamond ring. With an oscillating fan blowing on him and what I guess is a 32-inch flat screen TV blasting the music video for Corey Hart's Sunglasses at Night. What? It was the middle of the day. He saw me fist pump and then pointed to his own sunglasses.

So these are his sunglasses that he wears at night. Was this in the daytime? It was in the middle of the very hot summer day. There were plenty of kids playing not far away. very hot summer day. There were plenty of kids playing not far away. But there was more than a few very concerned looking parents looking in his direction. So I felt okay about reporting it to you

instead of the police. See, this is the problem that, that whole, what's the, you know, there's a psychological term for this where something bad is going wrong. But if there's enough witnesses, it doesn't get reported because everybody thinks somebody else will call it. Oh, yeah, right. That's like the smoke in the fat guy in the van syndrome is called.

I just Googled the song, the song lyrics. It's fat cats driving around in Jeeps of the city wearing big diamond rings and silk suits. Even more far-fetched. Yeah. Cats can't drive. Garfield? Garfield and Heathcliff? Heathcliff?

I just remember. He came along first, too. He used to be outraged. Wasn't Heathcliff pre-Garfield? I don't know. I just remember going to a cabin when I was a kid, and then they're just having Heathcliff comics there. And me being like, I guess this is country Garfield

country Garfield there's probably Heathcliff fans who are like Garfield's bullshit yeah oh absolutely Garfield never eats just a fish fish bone like when I when someone tells me that family guy is better than the Simpsons. Come on. You're crazy. I'm typing Heathcliff versus Garfield. Whoa, there must have been a crossover. Somebody said it came up Heathcliff or Garfield first. Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Conclusion? Heathcliff. Heathcliff first. Heathcliff first. Began appearing in newspapers in 1973. Garfield five years later. Wow.

Ironically, most idiots think Garfield is a real... That seems harsh, Graham. I'm just reading the internet. Actually. This next one comes from Mike P. from Brooklyn. My girlfriend and I were riding the subway home after a long day of kayaking on the Hudson River. Whoa. I know.

When a group of gothy punks got on the train, one woman left the group and stood on the opposite side of the train car by herself. A few stops later, one of the guys from the group came over to convince her to rejoin the group or coven and told her we weren't talking about the fetish party. We were talking about Rosh Hashanah. So, you know, it's something that we can all enjoy. Yeah, yeah. That just happened? Yeah, that just happened. Happy New Year.

Is that what it is? I think so. Look, it's a bit of a fetish party. Yeah. Sure. I mean, everything, if you break it down, everything is of a fetish party yeah sure i mean everything if you break it down everything is kind of fetish corn chips and chili and warm fuzzy this last one was overheard at a shopper's drug mart a wife saying what's the problem

husband i need to get body wash. I can't find the brand I use. Wife, you don't need it right now. You just showered. Ah, come on. Think of the future.

Ay yi yi. She's living in the moment. You're fine. We could all die today, you know? And then you got this, you're carting around this full.

We could be in that carcass pit by the end of the night. Yeah. When you're worried about body wash. You're worried about your dove men plus care. That's kind of a, cause like forever soap was just the one thing. Like it was just a bar of soap. I thought that was a brand you were bringing. Forever soap.

Forever soap. Where's the forever soap? When are you going to find your forever soap? That was a business, but they went out of business because people only had to wash one time. Yeah. And then they smelled good forever. I was like, oh, this is a terrible business model. I would love that.

Forever soap. One, you just take one shower when you're a kid. Believe me, you heard last week's episode. I stink for the first time in my life. I'm fine today. All right. Yeah, I remember it used to just be soap. And then they were like, I don't know, get one of these poofy things.

Yeah, there was a poofy thing. And then also get a plastic jug full of liquid soap. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, I guess. I never bought into any of that. It's bar soap all the way for soap. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, I guess. I never bought into any of that. It's bar soap all the way for me. Yeah. No fluffy, poofy.

I don't even like that they brought Luftwaffe. It's your dive bomb in your pits with Luftwaffe. I don't like that they even like have different scents of zest. I just want regular zest. Yeah. Classic zest. Classic zest.

I use unscented everything. Nancy's very, she gets headaches from different smells, you know? And so. So no chili in your house. Unscented whatever, antiperspirant. Oh. We were talking last week, deodorant versus antiperspirant. We were all, we're deodorant heads. Really? The two ofant. Oh. We were talking last week. Deodorant versus antiperspirant.

We were all, we're deodorant heads. Really? The two of us. Oh. Don't want to ruin our shirts. I don't get it. You're ruining it with sweat, though. You're not, though. You're damn right I am.

You got to see the way I've savaged my shirts. I mean, actually, the thing is is what ruins your shirts is the see my eyes rolling in addition to overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us the phone number is one eight four four seven oh i mean i like it i Oh, maybe I lost it. I don't know. Seven, seven. On the bulletin board or something there. What? No. Is Nancy sensitive to the smell of burnt toast?

One, 844-779-7631. There you go. It's like pulling off a band-aid. You just have to go for it. Like these people have. Or one. Ugh, Spy for it. Like these people have. Or one. Ugh, SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Everybody happy? Hi, this is Will from Cedar Rapids, Iowa with an overheard.

I'm a bartender at a local cocktail spot and I walk past two patrons at the bar and all I hear is well, your vagina doesn't shut down, but your brain does. Anyways, off I go. When you die, right?

It's like your soul. The necrophiliacs motto. Yeah, because isn't there, like, completely aside from that, people thought that your fingernails still grew after you died, but it's just your skin shrinking. Yeah. But who was the, who noticed that and said, Hey, fingernails still go. You're dead. But fingernails that's forever. You open up an old coffin. It's just full of, it's just a nest of fingernails that's forever that's forever you open up an old coffin it's just full of it's just a

nest of fingernails just a twisted mass even if they cremate you and they don't get it all there's they'll be you know there'll still be still be fingernails just growing like vines yeah they take root in the ground they're very they're like morning glory they're impossible to get rid of here's your next phone call hey dave and gram it's senka from san francisco with an overheard i just finished a badass bitch spin class and about halfway through my instructor said every single one of you is a badass bitch so reach down and turn it up cause you got this ladies and Eric

well off I go ladies and Eric uh oh that's pretty good ladies and Darcy if that made Eric feel great or feel terrible oh I'm the only I'm the only one oh I got singled out today Ladies and Darcy. If that made Eric feel great or feel terrible. Yeah, just like.

Oh, I'm the only one. Oh, I got singled out today. Ladies and Eric. I joined this class to meet women and it's not helping when you point that out. That I'm a badass bitch. If that ended in for some reason, it would be good. You got this ladies and Eric for some reason uh that was really good here's your final one hi dave and graham it's sue from baltimore i haven't overheard for you i was at a street festival last weekend here in baltimore in a

pretty hipster neighborhood and i was walking behind a couple of tattooed gentlemen, and one of them was saying to the other, you know, you're right. Nobody can call you homeless if you live on a boat. And the other guy said, exactly. It's classy homeless. So there you go. Yeah.

I mean, it's a home. It's like Jake and the Fat Man. Oh, with snow ript mean, it's a home. It's like Jake and the fat man. Oh, which no riptide. I'm thinking of, I had my wrong eighties hour long. Jake and the fat man about the guy who drives around in jeeps with silk suits and diamond ring.

Um, the fat man, he was, uh, previously on another show. Canon. Canon. Yeah.

William Conrad. If you, uh, it's my favorite thing like when i'm just idly on a computer if you google canon and just uh the pictures of him are hilarious every single picture of canon is very funny he's either uh like he's at a hot dog stand or he's just it looks very confused or he's very angry. What the hell kind of mustard is this? Well,

that was a great show. Was it? It was one of the Quinn Martin productions. You know, he was churning out the hits, Quinn Martin productions in the seventies. Who else? Every one hour show, Streets of San Francisco.

I think Barnaby Jones was Quinn Martin. Yeah. Churning out the hits. Barnaby Jones was Quinn Martin. Um, yeah. Turning out the hits. Barnaby Jones was, uh. Buddy Ebsen. Buddy Ebsen. Yeah. Would you ever live on a houseboat?

Yeah. I feel like there's some of that at, uh, Granville Island. Yeah. Or at least boats that are at, or houses that are at the marina and smell. Yeah. There's a, but that's like a thing, a trend here is houseboats, like that you buy them for whatever it is, $300,000. And then you have to pay marine fees or something, but then you just live on the water until. Solve crimes, man. Yeah, that's true. Something about living on the water until. Solve crimes, man.

Yeah, that's true. Something about living on the water gives you that. Yeah. Ability to deduce things. I think in Sleepless in Seattle, he lives on a houseboat. Oh, yeah. And in Nine and a Half Weeks, maybe he lives on a houseboat. Sure.

Two movies where he's seducing a stranger. Well, that's the end of this here podcast. Brent? That was plenty, wasn't it, do you think? Oh, that was a heap of help. Who wants more than this? People can find you online. Yeah, I'm funneling everybody into one specific

location because, you know, I started my own podcast called The Butt Pod, but I'm very remiss. I'm not on it like you guys are. I put, because I, you know, it's hard to, it's a logistical nightmare. I don't know how you pull it off. So, but anyway, I started a YouTube channel to

be like a video companion, YouTube slash the butt pod. But what I find is I do a lot more on the video channel because I can just travel with my camera, do stuff, you know, when I'm on the road doing standup or if I'm going to the studio to shoot something, I bring my camera along. I can bang off a lot more content by myself. I'm not saddled with a guest like you guys are.

And each other. Yeah, that's right. But so yeah, come check me out and feel free to subscribe over at the butt pod on YouTube. Okay. And this is the first week of October. Yeah. Come see us this weekend in Western Canada.

We'll be in Calgary on the 4th of October, Edmonton on the 5th and Saskatoon on the 6th. That'll be the last you'll hear about us talking about tour dates. Yeah. Oh, those earlier shows we did were so great. Oh, so much fun. Come see these shows. They'll be so great. And when we're in Saskatoon, make a trip to the

carcass bit. See it in person. Thanks so much, everybody, for listening. If you like the show, please tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.