Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 56 - Ryan Beil

Episode Date: March 28, 2009

Improviser Ryan Beil joins us for a laugh-fest fueled by Elvis, Smashmouth, and Expo Ernie.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody, welcome to episode number 56 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and with me as always is the man on whom the television show Bosom Buddies was based, Dave Schumke. Because I'm wearing the outfit from the show, i.e. a woman's dress and wig. Because you're trying to save on rent

exactly and everyone believes that you have twin brothers who visit all the time and just look a lot like you that dreamy voice you're hearing there is our guest this week the very talented improviser, actor, writer and dare I say producer?

yeah I produce a few things right on, Mr.yan beal joining us here today thanks for having me guys thanks for coming on we've wanted you on the show for ages and ages we've been referring to you as the jd salinger of improv yeah we do we're like yeah can we get jd and then i disappeared forever and then you did a few shorter scenes i prefer to think of myself as the bobby fisher of. Right. You're a huge racist. Huge racist and recently arrested in Japan.

You refer to the New York Times as the Jew York Times. All sorts of things. Anyway. Or maybe the Jew essay. Exactly. The Jew essay today. Anyway, let's get to know us.

Get to know us. Get to know us. Well, Ryan, you're the guest. It's our tradition. So, we actually have a big star in the room with us. I want our listener to know that Ryan is the guy who dies at the beginning of The Underclassmen. Yep. The reason on which the whole plot happens. Without you, we couldn't have all enjoyed The Underclassmen. Yep. The reason on which the whole plot happens. Without you, we couldn't have all enjoyed The Underclassmen.

Nick Cannon would never have had to gone undercover to that. He would have stayed with the drumline. But Cheech sent him in. And you're the character Ryan in the A&W. Yeah, previously Jason. I was Jason for one commercial, and then they named me Ryan. And I thought maybe I should be named Warren or Walter, because the fatter guy, the spokesman, is named Alan.

Does he really... Does he like to be known as the fat guy? No. That's why I paused. Maybe the older guy. You know, but I don't think he... He's known as Fatburger on set. I don't think he listens.

What does A&W stand for? A&W stands for something in Walter. Oh, really? I think it's Albert and Walter. I thought it was Acid and Water. No, it's Albert and Walter. You're both wrong. It's Ambogus and Who thought it was acid and water. No, it's Albert and Walter. It's Amber goes and

whoop you. There, yes. Second time that joke has made an appearance on this podcast. How did I walk into that? It's actually Alan and Wright. Is it? No, it isn't. Okay. It's Ask Wikipedia. Yeah, but I am a star.

You are a bright, shining star. So, everyone can now picture you. Now, let's Ask Wikipedia. Yeah, but I am a star. You are a bright, shining star. So, everyone can now picture you. Now, let's get to know you. Sure. So, what's new? What's shaking you? We were talking on the way over here. You're going to be in Shakespeare in the Park?

No, it's called Bart on the Beach. We don't have it in the park here. No, it's not. It's near a park. It is near a park. It was originally called Shakespeare near a park. Yeah, it was near a park it is near it was originally called shakespeare near a park yeah it was near park and that got thrown out then it was shakespeare a little ways away from the water why not shakespeare on the shore yeah exactly exactly right like they really i'm

a bit of a wordsmith myself maybe you could put in a good word with with. Shakespeare? Mr. Shakespeare himself. I will let him know. So you're doing that. What else is going on? What else does Ryan Beale do in between being on television and movies and live productions? In the brief time in between.

In the blink that is... Even though there are years between all of those things mentioned. What do I do between Well I do produce A local comedy show Maybe you've heard of it I say that sarcastically Because you have

Called the Sunday Service And you star in it And I star in it We said it's easily the best improv show in town Yeah I would go so far as The Province. There's some boys in Prince George who are coming up on your heels. I don't know, I don't know.

Yeah, the best improv guys out there. It's just some kid in there. Yeah, in a basement somewhere. Improv and shit like you never imagined. The Improv Tommy. Deaf, dumb,, Dumb and Blind And Plum And Plum and Plummy

Very Plummy And you This past weekend you produced a show At the Little Mountain Studios And I was on it And it was delightful Thank you for doing it You really killed it

You made everyone laugh a lot They were very kind. I heard it was a monster match. A small success. It was a great girl smash. Yeah, it was a great girl smash. A small success. But are you going to do that anymore?

Yeah, I'm going to try to do that show once a month. It was fun. Stand-up and improv. Real loosey-goosey. Real loosey-goosey with some wine and beer. Yeah. The way God intended. W and B. Well, Jesus intended it certainly that way. end up in improv real loosey goosey real loosey goosey with some with some wine and beer yeah the way god intended w and b well jesus intended it certainly that way a and w he would have shown up at an improv show and turned some improv he would have given some

suggestions divine suggestions um so what else is going on anything wow of note? Yeah, come on, what you got? Really? You really want me to wow you? Oh, no Do you really want me to tilt this? Do you really want me to tilt this a little bit? I ran into my ex-wife today

Can you believe that? I can't even believe you have an ex-wife You're too young I'm not a buzzard buddy Dave and I, we're over the hill You've got two or three ex-wife. You're too young. Exactly. You're too young. I'm not a bosom buddy. No. No. No. Dave and I, we're over the hill.

Yeah. You've got two or three ex-wives. Yeah, exactly. Between you. I'm paying palomone. Oh, sorry. Palomino. Yeah, Palomino Grand.

Gran Turismo. It's a good word association. That's how I do it. If people ask me how I do it, I answer Gran Turismo or whatever. But that happened. But that was okay. It had to happen eventually. Is that the first time?

The first time since we divided up some stuff, I think. Wow. Did the lawyers get involved? No, no lawyers are involved. I mean, in the meeting today. No, no, no. Was it at a grocery store? Pharmacy.

Oh, pharmacy. Close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Close, a pharmacy. So you guys both lived then in the same neighborhood? No, no. No, no, no, no, no. What was she doing at a...

You go to a distant pharmacy? You go to... I don't want to talk about this anymore. Okay, no. You go to a distant pharmacy? I don't want to talk about this anymore. No, no, no. This is when you said pharmacy. This is very uncomfortable. Not for me. I'm reveling in it. Not for me either. No, not for me either.

You were just playing devil's advocate. I was just, yeah. Playing devil's advocate. Putting some feelers out there. And other than that, you know, I had a pretty good day. Yeah. You know, I'm unemployed right now. That's the other thing.

I'm just sort of waiting for the next gig to start. But actors aren't ever, they're never employed or unemployed. Isn't that, it's a constant process. It's a constant. It's a constant process. When actors talk about their process, they mean. That's what they're talking about, right? Getting employed or waiting to be employed.

Yeah, I've seen Rent. Me too. Me too. I know how it goes. Yeah. It's a lot more AIDS, though. Yeah. In acting.

And like tons of minutes. Yeah. And cups of coffee. Dave, what's going on with you this week? Well, I, a couple years ago for Christmas, maybe a year and a half ago, my sister and I went in on a present for my mom and it was

a Nintendo DS. I thought you were going to say Nintendo 64. Yeah, because it was a few years ago. What a shit present. With the game Brain Age. Yeah, so that she can not lose her mind.

Yeah, that's the message you're sending. You're losing it, Mom. Well, she had expressed interest in this, and so we got it for her. And I went over to my parents' house this past weekend, and I saw the Nintendo DSs and i turned it on and there's profiles saved like uh the day she got it i made a little profile for me uh and i haven't used it since but uh there's no profile for my mom so she's clearly not used it once i thought, I thought you were going to go over there, and it was going to still be in the box.

Oh, man. Might as well, though. Might as well. Might as well. So I stole it, and I brought it home, and I've been improving my brain. Good. So what is it? It gives you a puzzle that flashes on the screen, and it says, like, how many sheep

were there in that picture? And then it goes away, and you press six or something yeah that kind of thing yeah if you couldn't do that puzzle that i just said then you're already gone dementia yeah like you can't fight back from dementia by naming six sheep exactly you don't have to name them all uh but yeah and so it's it's uh i'm improving my brain yeah yeah every morning great i'm on a little regiment and there's a little uh guy who's like uh oh you're But yeah, so it's I'm improving my brain Every morning I'm on a little regimen And there's a little guy who's like

Oh, you're back for more? There's a little face that comes on the screen And says, oh, you're keeping at her? Is he kind of taunting you or is he encouraging you? He's kind of encouraging you You're not a quitter like your mom You weak American But you know there's something more behind those words You're not a quitter like your mom, you weak American.

But you know there's something more behind those words. Yeah, it's not what he's saying. It's how he's saying it. It's what he's not saying. You've got to read between the lines. But there's a feature on it that, well, not a feature, just one of the things. An app. Yep. It's a mini app.

It's a mini app. It's a mini boss. And it tells you to draw a picture of a koala. Like freehand? Yeah. That would be hard. Yeah, exactly. And a kangaroo. Not as hard.

I think a kangaroo would be much harder than a koala. Than a koala? Yeah, because the koala... Really? I could draw the outline of a kangaroo, I think, fairly easy. be much harder than a koala. Than a koala? Yeah, because the koala... Really? If I could draw the outline of a kangaroo, I think, fairly easy. It's kind of a mouse with a longer tail. I'd draw a koala no time flat with the nose and the eyes and the ears. No time.

Wow. By the time I was done a koala, you were just figuring out that it's a mouse with a longer tail for your kangaroo. And Australia. Set and and match back for more they ask you to draw a drawing of australia and uh and then they show you the pictures like they show you their uh interpretations of these three things uh and it's like hey a koala next time you draw it think of the bigger ears australia it's got two hey, a koala. Next time you draw it, think of the bigger ears. Australia. It's got two peninsulas. Does it?

Oh, really? Kangaroo. Like, Australia is a circle and then Tasmania on the tip. Right. That's how I think of it. Not a circle, but like a weird circle. And then the kangaroo, they say, remember, it has a little pouch for animals. Well, yeah. That's all it's got.

That's its whole thing, right? Well, no. It's a jumper, isn't it? Yeah, it's got big thighs. It'll kick you dead. Kick you deadly. You heard that story a couple weeks ago there was a guy in Australia and a kangaroo

broke into his house and he like punch fighted it out of the house. That's pretty great great as long as it wasn't a kick fight epic no yeah if you kick fight a kangaroo you will lose yeah because he'll kick your head clean off your shoulders no matter what ronaldo you are which one ronaldo or christian ronaldo whichever one you are. Is it Cristian or Cristian Dio? Aren't there two men who play soccer who are just known as just Ronaldo? Or is it Ronaldo and Ronaldinho? But that's all. They only have the one name, right?

Yeah. That's great. I think that's awesome. A lot of Brazilians have just one name. Why is that? Well, just the soccer players. Not in Brazil proper. There's not just one name of people walking around.

Well, maybe. Proper. Yeah. What Hammer refers to as Brazil proper. But there's also a player named Kaka. Kaka. I like it. I like Kaka.

Yeah. Oh, man, we're putting that in our drops. There's so many soccer bandwagon jumpers, you know? Well, you can't watch it every day. If you've got satellite, you could. I follow the World Cup every day of the year. I don't just jump on the bandwagon in the last round. When you say soccer bandwagon jumpers,

like people who claim to be soccer fans all the time? I guess, yeah. Do you think those people think that they sound more continental because they like soccer? bandwagon jumpers like people who claim to be soccer fans all the time i guess yeah do you think those people think that they sound more continental because they like soccer maybe like if there was a guy who said i like baseball and another guy said he likes soccer that that soccer guy seems more worldly yeah because he's got patience although baseball is no great shakes yeah yeah yeah i love i love baseball and baseball is played in quite a few countries as well. But if you say, I like baseball, people are like, yeah, he's just like an American guy.

Right. The American. Or the American. Or the Japanese. Yeah. Or the Spanish-speaking country. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

The Dominican. But I think... Like, I watch... I don't watch soccer, but I do watch it during the World Cup like, I watch soccer. I don't watch soccer, but I do watch it during the World Cup, and I watch it during the Euro Cup. Euro, right. Which is like the World Cup, but in a smaller world.

It's the old world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The old world. They should call it the old World Cup. And they smoke it in intermission. I'm like, the American Cup, or the World Cup, they're more clean cut, right? The Euro Cup's more rough and tumble. Rough and tumble, but they wear very well-tailored suits. permission i'd like the american cup or the world cup they're more clean cut right the euro cup's more uh rough and tumble rough and double but they wear uh very well tailored suits yeah during halftime during halftime they come out and have cappuccinos on the field it's very european

i hate them yeah oh man they think. They think they know everything and own everything. They've got, like, they invented colors. Like, I can't wear orange now because people will think I'm Dutch. Exactly. That's true, eh? That's a good call. What a world. Yeah.

What a world. Well, this is going nowhere. But fast. We didn't ask what you did. No, no, no. I tried to breathe life into it with my Dutch thing. That was valiant, I would say. We'll ask Graham.

How are you doing? How am I doing? I'm doing okay. And what you've been doing, I guess. What I've been doing is... You guys didn't ask me my brain age. What? They give you an actual age? So if your brain age is higher, do they give you an

age that your brain is? Or just like, your brain age is 156 and that's a good age. No, the optimal age is 20. You want your brain to be 20 years old. What? So you've got to kind of not know what you're going to be 20 years old. What? So you've got to not know what you're going to do with your future.

Have an unhealthy interest in foosball. And you're trying to learn how to do that beer cap flicking thing? You've got your busker's license. You're just going to read poetry on the street. Your friend has some devil sticks That you're thinking about buying Exactly

What are the balls on the string Are those poi? Poi I love poi man And you know when you learn poi You use What are those ravers They have the glow sticks

Yeah You use glow sticks to learn poi Cause you don't want to start with fire. No, but can you start with just unlit poi or do you have to go with glow sticks? You want to see

the shapes you're creating. That's what it's about. You know, it's about seeing the figure eights, I think. So my brain age, well, when I started, when I started,

I was 68. Oh, bad. But. Really? Yeah. That doesn't make sense. You're sharp as a razor. I know, but you haven't done the test yet.

I want to do some of these tests, but I want to do them drunk. Okay. Because I want to know if I'm more sharp. I got a feeling I'm smarter when I'm drunk. Yeah, if I'm like 24 when I'm drunk, and then I do it when I'm dead sober, and I'm like 112. And when I was 20, I thought I was smarter when I was higher. And maybe the game picks up on that. Exactly. Yeah.

Exactly. Game knows. Okay, so this is like the biggest loser. Now we have, I tell you my old weight. 68. Your old brain age. So you were 68 pounds. Yep, 68 pounds of human brain, because your brain gains a pound of fat every year.

Now I am 34. it's roughly half it's great thanks i think i hope you make it to 20 yeah me too i hope so too guys i hope to see 20 someday myself i hope to make it to my current age of 22. One day you'll make it. Oh, man. Graham. What up? How are you doing? What do you guys think of soccer? I call it football. Football. I play

footy for lunch. It can be played anywhere. Graham, go. Make it quick. Make it World Cup. I'll try played anywhere. Graham, go. Make it quick. Make it World Cup. I'll try and make it World Cup based. So I got this brain age thing for my grandmother. What? It's your mother. No, my story's different than yours. Shut up.

No, you know, I'm just working a tremendous amount and For the weekend. Yeah, well, mostly for the weekend amount. For the weekend. Yeah, well, mostly for the weekend. Everybody's working for the weekend. Including myself. And the thing is that at work, like in the morning, there's a breakfast show going on.

Every morning there's a breakfast show. Yeah, exactly. Every, if you guys could queue up, it's called the needle drop. Shut the door, baby. Don't say a word. Oh, exactly. If you guys could queue up, it's called the needle drop. Shut the door, baby. Don't say a word. Oh, man. I like that you guys are... Can you score the rest of... It was Sugar Ray's follow-up album

to the one with their big hit. What the fuck are you talking about? Sugar Ray. Yeah, wasn't it sugar ray was the name of the album that's what i'm saying no no that other album well the one with the big hit was called sugar ray yeah uh do you guys remember this hit come my lady come come yeah crazy town that was the guy he's on that drug show now shifty shell shock yeah dr drew or whatever dr drew yeah is that the guy that's the guy's name right dr drew the rehab show he's the rehab doctor and he was on shifty shell shock

was on it of crazy town excuse me with the hit butterfly but we're not talking about that graham wanted to talk about sugar ray's album 1459 he did want to talk about that. Yeah, that's what I was gearing up to. They were their own generation's Smash Mouth. Wasn't Smash Mouths in the same generation? They probably, they're interchangeable. Although I don't see the lead singer of Smash Mouth hosting Extra. No, but he was on that other show. Entertainment Tonight. It's a real life., but he was on that other show. Entertainment Tonight.

It's a real life. Yeah, he was on Entertainment Tonight. He does the fat slob report. Catching up with Horatio Sands. Oh, man. Who's not fat anymore. What? No way.

Is Horatio Sands in the Mom'sville? That's him with the beard. Really? He's lost like 70 pounds. He looks amazing wow jobless i want him in me um so you have a breakfast show yeah i have a breakfast show it's going great it's called bacon and eggers and uh wakey wakey eggs and bacon that's the theme it's hosted by kevin bacon and dave eggers and uh we just talk about, you know, science news.

And your keyboardist is called Hash Browns. Yeah. And we're like, play the news you can use theme, Hash Browns. It's news you can use. It's news you can use. You know? Yeah. It's the same line, but with different rhythms. Meter. Pitch. Exactly.

So. Okay. Yeah, so that's it. No, no, no. Let's come full circle. You. Pitch. So. Okay. Yeah. So that's it. No, no, no. Let's come full circle. You host a show at night. The City News List. Yeah, but that's. Oh, yes, you do.

Twitter.com slash the City News List. I was up in the Twitter things. Thanks in no small part. Charlie and Erica and Paul. Oh, yeah. And now I'm down in Twitter. I went up and then people. You have fewer followers now? Yeah. How did that. Does that happen on Twitter? So. Oh, yeah. And now I'm down in Twitter. I went up, and then people... You have fewer followers now?

Yeah. How did... Does that happen on Twitter? So, okay, guys. What's a Twitter? Yes! So, okay. I've reasoned it's just...

It's like the... It's just the Facebook status. But... And you send it to all... And people subscribe to you somehow. Yeah. Yeah, they follow you. And you can go up or down, what you were just saying. and people subscribe to you somehow yeah yeah they follow you and you can go up or down what you were just saying well i thought you could only

from my angle i thought you could only go up but apparently not um it's not just the facebook status because it's what else is it so what's a Facebook status? Well, I don't know. Exactly. It tells your innermost to the world. But when you want to look at your Twitter, do you go to a Twitter page and you just see all the people? Yes, you go to Twitter.com slash Graham Clark or Twitter.com slash Dave Shumka. I see. Yeah. And you just see one little sentence or a bunch of sentences.

Yeah, it'll show you all the sentences. And a line. But it's not just like, I'm feeling tired today. Right. Because those people get unfollowed, like Graham. But mine are all jokes. Like, what's a... Well, because I have to update the Twitter thing for the show.

So it's all jokes that are based on news stories. I see. So that's all I do. I do. I see. Dave writes jokes. Based on nothing. But several times a day, and they're really, really funny.

MC Hammer is one of the guys I'm following. He writes everything he's doing. Now, he's found God, like Mace. Yeah. Has anyone made the Mick Hammer joke this year? Every year, someone refers to MC Hammer as Mick Hammer. And then, once you do, if you see your shadow, it means that

Hammer's going to make 20 more Twitters. Six more days of summer barbecues. Six more weeks of Hammer. Oh, God. God bless. God bless every rapper. And Maestro, speaking of Maestro Fresh West, she was on The Breakfast Show. He?

Did I say he? Yeah, you just said she was on The Breakfast Show. He or she or they. He or she. The rap group Maestro Fresh West. Is he still going by? No, it was Adam Fresh West. Sorry, I got it wrong.

Charlie kept calling him all week. Was Maestro Fresh West? Because it's not, right? It's West. It's West. Yeah. Isn't it? As in Wesley. Charlie kept calling him all week. Was it My Troubles Fresh West? Because it's not, right? It's West. As in Wesley. And so then we started calling him Adam Fresh West. He was actually the kid on Mr. Belvedere.

I think my joke was is the kid on Mr. Belvedere Wesley? Both of our jokes were nowhere. I was originally slated to be on Silver Spoons as the conductor of the tiny train. No, you weren't. You're too young.

Yeah. Yeah, that's why. Yeah, that's why that's improbable. Because I was an infant. They can cast infants and shit. Not to conduct trains. There's labor laws. They'd have to cast twins so each of them could do half of it. Dakota Fanning was in a movie where she was a conductor.

She's not a twin, is she? No. Well, there you go. Thanks. I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. Pulling your logic. So Maestro Fresh West. Yeah, that's about it. Oh, and also Barney Bentall. Of the Legendary Hearts? Of the Bentall Center. Of the buildings. He, and also Barney Bentall. Of the legendary hearts? Of the Bentall Center.

Of the buildings. He's related to them, I think. Is he really? He definitely is. To the family that it's named after. Yeah, his dad. His dad, man. Todd Bentall.

Todd Bentall. His dad, Barney Bentall. Was it Barney Bentall and the... Legendary hearts. And what was his... Did he have a famous song? What was his famous song? Yeah, Dave. Well, he had

in the 90s, he had Do Ya. Oh, that's the one I know. Okay. How does that sound? Oh, I don't know. Do ya. There you go. Do ya ever wonder why? I don't know how it goes. He also had

I'm Doing Fine was one from his album Ain't Life Strange. His title I do. He was all about conjugating verbs. He was like the Andrew WK of his time. His Andrew WK was everything had to have party in it.

I also noticed your channel now has a lunch television. How long has that been going on? Since before I was there. Really? Yeah. So there's breakfast television and lunch television? Yeah. When will there be dinner television? There will be dinner and then snack.

Snack is on. It's a five minute segment. Yeah, dessert's on at around seven o'clock. Midnight snack. Yeah. There's a lot of things people eat. Yeah.

What are some other meals? Cheating on your diet. Brunch. On the weekends they have brunch TV. That's it. Those are all the meals. Is buffet its own meal?

Because it can kind of spill over into two meals, right? Welcome to the buffet. The buffet. This show is all you can watch um all right well is that all you had to say no i mean i think at one point i had more to say but you can only be railroaded so many times exactly you know you know how it goes. No, I know exactly how it goes. You understand. Please. No, I don't think I have... Whatever I was

going to say at the beginning of it... Just let's move on to our football picks. Okay. Exactly. We're back here. Do you mean footy? Yeah. We're taking all your calls. So call the toll-free number. There we go. Do you guys want to move on to the oft-misunderstood overheards?

Yes. Overheard. All right, overheards. If you do not know what overheards are. Now you know. Now you know. And it's things overheard Basically Is that the more you know?

Yeah Thanks for having me Thanks for coming out Ryan Beal, do you want to start the round of overheard? Is that how it works? I don't want to I want to be treated like everyone else Yeah, we're not treating you special

You're alright It's like when Elvis went into the Marines He's's like i want to be treated like every other marine and they shot him in the leg to get him out to get him out and then they made him watch john they don't let people that pretty oh my god do guard duty i watched an elvis movie two weekends ago blue hawaii no it was one where he's supposed to be a Native American. And blue Sioux. Red Hawaii. Red Hawaii.

Red, white, and Sioux. The thing about it was he was living on... That's dynamite. Red, white, and Sioux. He was on a reservation, and everybody in it, there was no native people in it at all. There was Mexican people and white people with brown paint on their face, and Elvis who still had his pompadour. Right.

And every possible permutation of not white, Chinese, there was a Chinese person. So, was Elvis playing like Elvis, like a white white man or was he playing a native man he was playing a native man that's a mate like stephen seagal kind of but uh yeah yeah exactly but talented and uh yeah so they were drunk in every seat like it was the most racist like easily yeah really like they're living in this shack and they have to like clean up the place so they just put wallpaper on the outside of the house that looks like stone finish and uh they're living in this shack and they have to like clean up the place. So they just put wallpaper on the outside of the house that looks like stone finish. And they're drunk the whole time. It's the way it was.

I can't remember what it's called. It's like stay away from James or something like that. That was what it was called. James will kill you. And at one point he trades in. He goes to a car lot and it's like says any trade-ins accepted. He goes to a car lot and it says, any trade-ins accepted. And he trades in a donkey for a Cadillac and then he sells off pieces of the Cadillac.

It's just the most racist. Strange. But the grandfather who's played by a white guy has brown paint on his face. Wow. Mickey Rooney. Mickey Rooney. Not the first time he played a native grandfather either Chief Firewater Exactly

It was actually the third time he played a native grandfather He was afraid that he was getting typecast Exactly Yeah But yes, Overherds What do you got, Ryan? Okay, and this happened on the bus ride home It was a number nine

Going east back A classy bus It was a number nine. Okay. A classy bus. It's a bacon and eggs. Bacon and eggs. It's a bacon and eggs. Yeah, it's a B and A. That's what the bus drivers call it. I got the number nine bacon and eggs today.

And I was on the back doing a crossword. Puzzle? Yep. And, no, dream, a crossword, dream. And these three private school boys, I couldn't tell which private school, but they had purple in their jackets. Okay. The purple jackets. Oh, the purple jackets.

Saint purple jackets. Right. You know. It's a kind of wasp. But this is the quote. This is the one quote. It's a kind of wasp. But this is the quote.

This is the one quote. He said, oh, man, this is going to be the gayest parent-teacher night this year. I don't know what's going to be so gay about it. But he was sure of it. And he was pretty adamant, you know. And his friend responded in the affirmative. He's like, you are correct. You got that right. Both my dads are coming.

It is gonna be a rainbow flag. Spectacular. But these kids were talking that they go to parent-teacher night. Like, that's part of it. Like, it's not just the parents and the teachers. They go down, too, and it's like a big three-way. Or four. Yeah yeah whatever um but the uh in my school there was there's the parent teacher conferences in uh in high school for the uh after the report cards come out you can come your parents can come and talk to you about how terrible your grades are

yeah or they could just give up and and realize you're a lost cause yeah uh or your parents there was the thing at the start of the year that was like a fun thing that was like hey parents come see what your kids are doing in school when was that in september october november december is it possible that i just wasn't invited to that it's like ramadan it's a month-long celebration my parents brought my cousin to it like it's not happening this year he can catch a football but that was always the fun thing well like it was not the fun thing but it was like you can't get in trouble right you're your teacher won't be able to clean everyone's got diplomatic immunity yeah no one's gonna a brain age of 20 beautiful

my nose hit the mic there that's alright edit it out Dave did it level out my overheard is kind of cheating because it's from television still good

oh it's so good there's a show on much more music Because it's from television. Still good. Still counts. Oh, it's so good. There's a show on Much More Music, which is like Much Music, but with a little bit more. It replaced Music Plus. Yeah, it did. With Vero Cloutier. Oh, she was dynamite. Anyway, there's a show.

Let's play Bye Bye Monk or Boy. Usal Mitsu all the time. Rah, buzzy. Much more music is like VH1 for our American listeners. It's like an adult version of MTV. And by adult, I don't mean erotic. He means repetitive and yeah at all can tempo some hits from the 80s

and there was a show called where you at baby wow where they oh yeah oh yeah Nev Campbell's

the Nev Campbell's of the world well maybe there might be a Nev Campbell edition but they found like the what

like like Tiffany yeah they'll go and hang out with some... I think you're alone now. Oh no! He doesn't seem to be around. The sheet music

is terrible. I know. I had to turn so fast to get to that next page. It's because somebody crumpled it up during photocopying. Well, it's because the boy you hired to turn my pages obviously does not, obviously does not read music. Is he a door? He's a war ramp!

He's a door? Is he a door? Is that his name? Yeah. Or are you asking me, is he a door? He didn't finish his sentence. Is he adorable? It's a choosing adventure. Keep your page on this one.

So they catch up with old stars. And this one, they flew into Missoula, Montana to catch up with Huey Lewis. And the news. No, the news wasn't there. The news was not there. And they went... I think they were at a smaller town than missoula because missoula is a thriving metropolis and they were uh asking they went to but it always smells like mesquite

no matter where you go yeah uh it's it's home of black angus i imagine uh they black that was a character played by Elvis in it. Black Angus. He also played Chinese Tony and Puerto Rican Sam. They went to this restaurant in this Montana town, and they asked people if any of them had ever seen Huey Lewis. And this one woman had. She said he came into this restaurant once

and she said the following. Some people were so excited they acted like they were watching Steven Tyler eat dinner. Oh! Like one of his contemporaries. Not like they

thought they were watching Jesus eat dinner. It was like the basis from the stones can you imagine steven tyler eating those lips i can imagine he we lewis eating dinner that's not very exciting no yeah he seems like uh like when you say like a meat and potatoes guy he's literally made of meat yeah like he's who i picture when i think of meat and potatoes yeah i picture meat potato shaped to look like his face i think of meatloaf oh really my mother loved meatloaf and growing up sometimes when she'd have a really hard day, our record player was in the basement, and she'd put on Meatloaf, Bad Out of Hell, and we would have to eat dinner in silence.

Oh, there was nothing? Well, no, no, no, because the record player, she just wanted, like, we would get in trouble if, yeah, exactly, so we'd have to eat dinner while she listened to it. We would have to be silent. Now, so do you, whenever you hear a track off of that, do you get like a, like a weird feeling?

Not really. You know, like it's actually fairly comforting. Wow. So it's not like a Pavlovian, like now you're having a bad day. No. If you hear Paradise by the Dashboard Life. And no other songs. I can't name a single other song.

It was another one. I know. Is it Bad Out of Hell, one of the songs? I know more songs off of Bad Out of Hell, too. I'd't name a single other song. It was another one. Is it bad out of hell one of the songs? I know more songs off of Bad Out of Hell 2 than Bad Out of Hell 1. I'd do anything for love, but not... Good boys go to heaven, but the bad boys go everywhere. This is a really song-heavy episode. It is.

It didn't have to be this way. Because of my musical theater training. Yeah, and you do have a beautiful voice. That's something that I didn't get to say off the top. You have a very distinctive, wonderful voice. I do. The listeners are very lucky. No, I disagree.

Have you heard the shit he's been laying down on this episode? Oh, I'm the only one with headphones. Wait, you haven't heard. Well, he can hear. Well, I have ears. I was in the room at the time. I guess you're right. I guess you can hear. Gray Gray? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I got to stop calling you the time I guess you're right I guess you can hear

Gray gray Yeah yeah Oh I gotta stop calling you that I don't care I'm gonna start calling you gray goose Yeah Oh that's a classy vodka Who wouldn't want to be called that

Have you ever had it? Yes Yeah I haven't Is it good? Oh yeah What's so good about it? Does it not taste like burning?

It tastes less burning Yeah it tastes like less And it's That's how I grade hard alcohol If it tastes like less. And it's... That's how I grade hard alcohol. If it's got... If it's just on the rocks

with nothing else, it's actually quite nice. And I don't like vodka at all. But Grey Goose... And there's another one that's kind of of the same caliber. I'm not...

I don't like vodka. But I've had that and there was another one that's a really fancy one that I can't remember its name. Those were both really good. He has a vodka now. Probably. It's about time. I think it's Greg.

Dan Aykroyd certainly has a vodka. No, he has a wine, doesn't he? He had a sitcom Soul Man. Oh yeah, where he was a preacher. He was a sitcom, Soul Man. Oh, yeah. Where he was a preacher. It's like I erased that from my... Piece of shit that was.

I knew that he was a preacher. From the producer of Grace Under Fire. Oh, man. I've been writing a lot of spec scripts for Grace Under Fire, but no one's buying. Oh, man. I've been writing a lot of spec scripts for Grace Under Fire, but no one's buying. Oh, man. This one, Grace says something sassy at the plant. Just when she gets her head above water, the plant cuts her hours. She was like a Torkelson's.

Or Quentin gets in trouble at school. Oh, Quentin says something racist. And they kept changing. Did Quentin have a rat tail? Yeah, because his dad was racist and then Quentin would learn something racist. Remember when DJ of Roseanne wouldn't dance

with the black girl? Yeah. Yeah, that was... The black girl was played by Elvis. Elvis. It was a good looking black girl. Hey there, DJ. That's how he talked too. He didn't even...

He wasn't method. My overheard... Well, I have one from my brother. My brother Dan, we always make fun of guys that wear MMA... Puka shells. Yes. MMA gear. Puka shells, yes. MMA gear. Do they wear them like a puka shell necklace, or do they just wear them like a shirt made of puka shells?

I put that to the audience. Yeah, exactly. But this is his overheard where he was at a bar, and there was a guy wearing a tap-out shirt. You guys familiar with tap-out? I've seen that all over the buses. That's what I'm saying. MMA gear. Guys who aren't currently in the octagon, but they're wearing the shit.

They're training. So there's the one guy, tap-out. My brother is T.O. So the guy looks me up and down and says, Nope, sorry, count any MMA gear in the club. And the guy's friend says, ridiculous. And then the tap out guy says, yeah, I know. It's not like the shirt comes with nunchucks.

And then my brother tags it with, they should, though. Which is true. If you're wearing a tap out shirt, then the least they could do is that, you know how some shirts will come with like a little cologne bottle or something, you know, like some kind of free giveaway from the store. Usually they just come with extra buttons. Yeah. I don't know where you guys buy your shirts.

I buy mine out of a trunk. I got a shirt and a cologne. I never buy a shirt unless there's an extra bonus in it. Yeah. Because that's the point. I can buy a shirt unless there's an extra bonus in it. Yeah, because that's the point. I can buy a shirt anyway. That's how you know the shirt's good. That's why I only shop from gypsies, you know, at the gypsy market.

Which I believe is called winners. Do you yourself, Graham Clark, have an overheard that you've overheard with your human ears? I actually have an overseen that I saw a guy. This is the thing. There was two things. No, we do oversees all the time. Oh, we do? Believe it.

Stretch, he's telling me. I got it under control, Beal. There was a guy walking down the street that it could have been, if they were going to make a movie about Jerry Van Dyke, this guy. Jerry Van Dyke, Dick Van Dyke's brother. Was on coach. Was on coach as the assistant coach. Of course. This guy. Jerry Van Dyke, Dick Van Dyke's brother. Was on coach. Was on coach

as the assistant coach. Of course. Not Zobber. He was the best part of that show. Dobber? Or Jerry Van Dyke? Jerry Van Dyke.

Dobber. I'm going with Dobber. Dobber, who then went on to be the voice of the starfish in SpongeBob SquarePants. Nice.

Although that was one of the shows that had two doofuses. Usually it's a one doofus per show, but they had Dauber and Jerry Van Dyke were both doofuses. Teaming up and doing doofus-y things together. Dauber also eventually appeared on Oz as a racist prison guard. That's correct. You know your Dauber trivia.

And he got slashed. What's the actor's name? D. Auburn. I think it might be... auber madonna i think he's the other madonna all right so you don't know all the trivia like his name oh is it back to me now overseen guy jerry van dyke looked exactly like jerry van dyke wearing a skin-tight shirt. This guy, I want to make it clear, not into irony.

He wasn't wearing this shirt. Whatever shirt he was wearing, he meant it authentically. Like Jerry Van Dyke would. Yeah, exactly. And the shirt just said, in very big letters, Ham Radio Rocks. And I thought that was sweet. That is sweet. Because this is a guy who actually believes that ham radio rocks this isn't uh he's not trying to be hilarious exactly you

know what i mean i know totally what you mean yeah so i uh that was my overseeing of the week ham radio rocks what do you think pretty good love it that's really great what did i see nothing you don't need both. You don't need a herd and a scene. You've done yeoman's work. We have a called in overheard. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Warren from Edmonton calling.

I have an overheard for you, I hope. I work at an organic food store. I don't really know if that has any bearing on this, but I divulge that anyway. So some of my co-workers were talking about

sad movies and, you know, movies that made them cry. I guess, I think one of the examples was Forrest Gump and the scene when his mom dies and his wife dies. Anyway, we're talking about that. And then this one guy sort of chimes in and he goes,

man, I love sad movies, but I haven't cried at a movie since Man on Fire. And then the girl just goes, oh yeah, Dakota Fanning's a really great actress. And yeah, so I thought that was pretty funny. So yeah, both you guys enjoyed it

Okay, thanks, bye Wow, that's great Dakota Fanning was in Man on Fire, right? And she is a great actor, right? I suppose So all statements in that Were correct She won an Oscar for the piano, right?

Nope, that was Anna Paquin Oh no, Shirley Temple. That's who you were thinking of. That's who I meant. She's still alive. Shirley Temple? No, Dakota Fanning. Yeah, and she's also running for governor.

Yeah. What? Dakota Fanning Black is her full name. She can't vote herself, but, you know. Oh, that's a great idea for a movie. Yeah, starring Dakota Fanning. And Zac Efron as her campaign man. He's in another movie. herself but you know oh that's a great idea for a movie yeah starting to go to and zach efron is our campaign man he's in another movie where it's the the why are they gonna stop making movies where the old guy turns into the young guy or the old girl woman turns into the young he plays young

matthew perry yeah which is that yeah as if matthew perry wishes exactly Like a Zac Efron could ever turn into a Matthew Perry. Exactly. Sometimes there's really great kid casting. Sure. Like where the kid looks like dead on. Like the kid in Forrest Gump. Yeah. Caller mentioned.

Well. The kid who played young Forrest Gump looked like he could be. Who was that kid? Ryan Field. The kid who played young Frankenstein. Who was that kid? I don't know. It was, in fact, I See Dead People.

No, no, no. That was his son. That was his son. Oh, I thought that's who you meant. Young Forrest Gump. You can see how I'd make that mistake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about Young Frankenstein?

That was the guy from Everybody Loves Raymond. Yes, it was. Peter Boyle. Yeah, Peter Boyle. It wasn't it wasn't a young version of frankenstein's

monster that's not how i understood the film no no no it was like muffin babies only frankenstein but when the

when you're flashing back to 17 year old version of someone you're at 17 you're basically formed now i haven't seen

any ads for that movie but i have seen the bus ad. And what I take from the bus ad is that he gets another chance at being 17. Yeah. I think that's what it is. And he gets it right. Or wrong. Or wrong.

Some parts right, some parts wrong. What are the other ones like that? Lindsay Lohan with Freaky Friday. Twice that movie's been made. And Jodie Foster with Freaky Friday. Also with Lindsay Lohan with Freaky Friday. And Jodie Foster. Also with Lindsay Lohan. 13 Going on 30. With that guy. Jennifer Garner.

13 Guys Going Pee on 30. 30 Girls. Is that right? 13 Guys Going on 30 Girls? What's the one? Family Man. It's a different kind of, but it's with Nicolas Cage and he gets another chance oh yeah and then there's the one with bruce willis and then him as a kid finds bruce willis as an

adult do you remember that one oh yeah yeah the kid was it called the kid i think it was called the kid and he confronts himself as an adult and what a douche he's turned into there was big big but big was the same guy turning older. But I guess it is just the reverse of the formula, right? Yeah. Benjamin Button. He starts as an old man,

works his way to a young man. It's kind of related. So he runs to Dangerfield and back to school? Wait, no. That's not it. That's a stretch, but that's a good movie. It is a good movie.

Is that the one where he goes off the diving boards diving boards and just close up of him going going crazy my favorite some of my favorite

he no maybe that's Caddyshack where he's talking to the guy and like the guy is his caddy and he's talking

to him and he says like when I was a kid the caddy's like this is tough and he's like when I was a kid, the caddy's like, this is tough. And he's like, when I was a kid, this is what I had to do. And then the caddy goes, so what? And he's like, so everybody party.

And he turns on music and everybody on the golf course starts dancing. And working for the weekend. I think you've mentioned that on this very podcast. Yeah, because it's my favorite thing that never gets done in movies anymore where somebody turns on music and everybody in the vicinity feels like it's time to party. did that get lost to the i think you know where you find that now is bollywood oh that's good call i would think that's where you find that dry ho i don't know what that is i think love okay nope nope don't Don't think so. Butter chicken.

Yeah. Slumdog millinator. Do you want to move on to something you know, fragrant? Yeah. So why don't we do one of our newer popular segments called Don't Get Me Started.

Hit it! our newer popular segments called don't get me started hit it you can punch me in the belly you can call me retarded but don't get me started all right uh don't get me started basically i'm gonna throw a topic i'm gonna throw the first topic towards dave um i'm gonna say just off the top of my head vladimir putin hey don't get me started on vladimir putin what are we supposed to be afraid of this guy look at that fucking comb over who do you think you are get a toupee vladimir putin don't get me started i'm sorry i got you started on uh vladimir hey uh ryan yeah what is what are your feelings what are your thoughts on justin trudeau don't get me started on justin trudeau or for that matter any of the trudeaus i hate how people in this country are like oh they're our kennedys well

yeah i wish i wish they'd do a lot more to be our Kennedys and start dying. You know what I mean? Because they're too good looking and too smart, and I am jealous. Don't get me started. I wish I had got you started. Hey, Graham. Yeah, what are your feelings on the Granville Street Judo Awards celebration? Here's the thing.

I wish you hadn't got me started on these fucking things. But Gravel Street in Vancouver is traditionally the most violent, shitty, filled with bridge and tunnel crowd, angry, MMA wearing tap out shirt. Yeah, it's our entertainment district. Yeah, just full. So the Junos thought it would be a grand idea. Canada's Grammys. Yeah. Cage them off. Yeah, just full. So the Junos thought it would be a grand idea. Canada's Grammys. Yeah. Cage them off, tent them up.

Oh, well, that isn't going to end badly. There's no way they're putting them in more of a confined space and filling them with free booze on the exact same strip. There's no way that can go horribly wrong. I wish you hadn't got me started on the potential violence that will erupt this weekend at the Junos. There's free violence? Oh yeah, free violence. I mean, free booze? Violence is always free.

But if I put the ball back in your court, Dave, with Elvis impersonators... Oh, don't get me started on Elvis impersonators. Elvis isn't even a cultural jumping off point anymore. Why would there be Elvis impersonators? It's like clowns. People don't know where it comes from. It just scares kids. Don't get me started.

Oh, man. I'm talking about Uncle Jesse. And the Rippers or the Vipers? Which was it? It was the Rippers. It was the Rippers. He started the Viper Room. Oh, thank you. Thank you. No? It was the Rippers. It was the Rippers. He started the Viper Room. Oh, thank you.

No, it was the Smash Club. Oh. Didn't he play in a band? Some Viper Room? Johnny Depp started the Viper Room. Oh, yeah. I get the two confused. I know. They're very similar characters. Both Greek. Hey, which one? Oh, Ryan. What are your feelings

on the Georgia Straits way off Maine? You mean the local independent comic strip way off Maine? Sure. It is. Don't get me started. A while ago it had a writer and an illustrator, like two people. First of all, it's always three panels and it's like

a picture of a pinball machine and then you go closer and it's like ooh, there's a crack on the pinball machine and then there's a guy who's like a picture of a pinball machine, and then you go closer, it's like, ooh, there's a crack on the pinball machine, and then there's a guy who's like, looking at the crack of the pinball machine, and the caption is like, cracks are everywhere. My cracks in my mind.

Or you see his shoes over an electrical line. It's the family circus, but it's like a hipster douchebag who's drawing it. It's just like a moment in time that is neither funny nor interesting. But for whatever reason, it's in a fucking newspaper. Don't get me started. I hate

Way Off Main. And if you listen to this podcast, you know... Cut it out. Yeah. Get a day job. Hey. I got an idea. Hey, Ryan, why don't you get Graham Get a day job Hey I got an idea Hey Ryan, why don't you get Graham Knott started on that Don't get me please started on something

I have a topic People who don't know how to pass Oh good Christ, I wish you hadn't got me started on that Well I had to Here's the thing, you're walking along a street It's not like we're in a hustle and bustle metropolis So you're walking down a street It's not like we're in a hustle and bustle metropolis right so you're walking down a street it's just you and another person and they're riding your ass walking style they're

walking like not even 10 paces but they're right behind just fucking pass do a do a couple quick steps exactly and get in front of me up your heart rate yeah wait the fuck why are you riding behind especially if you've got an umbrella if i feel one of the spokes of your umbrella touching the back of my fucking head, then just move along. Slow poke. You know, I have an impromptu don't get me started. Oh, wow. Oh, man.

People who use umbrellas, and then they're also walking under the awnings. It's like, what do you want, double awning? What are you, some kind of diplomat? What do you got, diplomatic immunity over there. What are you, some kind of diplomat? What do you got, diplomatic immunity over there? What are you, the president of Ecuador? You get to walk it's like, you know what, if you got an umbrella You made your choice. Yeah, exactly. My umbrella is the awning.

Oh, here we go. While we're on Don't Get Me Started. Yeah, I knew it. Alright, here we go. I knew this would start an avalanche. Yeah, this is unrelated to that, but... Oh. No, okay. Kids that work in a store and or restaurant,

you think you're too cool for the job? Oh, yeah. Guess what? You're not, because you have that job. So fucking do your job. Stop giving me the attitude. I want to order a burrito or get a t-shirt. Exactly.

Cut it out. And what's up with chowder? There's only like three kinds of chowder. I want more. Yeah. There's red chowder, white chowder, and beige chowder. There's corn chowder, seafood chowder, and clam chowder. I just said the same thing.

I want like a... Like a chicken chowder. You want like a pumpkin chowder or a mustard chowder. I want like a mint chocolate chowder. Yeah, mint chocolate. Who would say no to that? Yeah. You know, for my birthday's growing up, my brother would get cake and I would get chowder.

And then you'd listen to it with a meatloaf. They'd take that out. Exactly. It was my choice. One more thing. Do you want to move on to one more thing? One more segment? Is it a segment? It was my choice. One more thing. Do you want to move on to one more thing? One more segment. Is it a segment?

It's a segment. Yeah. Let's play the theme. Who loves the Pope? I'm going back in time. Yay! All right. In this segment, this is a segment we haven't done in a long time,

but I always liked it because it speaks a lot of the guest's personality, their value system, et cetera. It's just a straight-up time travel question. Okay. You can travel forward or back and through space. You can travel to any point on the globe at any time. So it's not like if you go back in time in Vancouver, now all of a sudden you're at the year zero

and you're still in Vancouver. You can go to wherever you want. And you get a return ticket. But you can't bring anything with you. Or clothes. You end up showing up like the Terminator. Why can't you bring anything with you? I don't know. I guess you could.

I think that was the original stipulation. But you could, I suppose. But I just want to point out that in Lost this season, they're going back in time travel. You know, I've never watched one Lost. Me neither. Or Titanic. I've never seen Titanic either.

Or Ghostbusters. That's a lie. That's a lie. That is a lie. I can see it as soon as you said it. I've never seen Titanic either. Or Ghostbusters. That's a lie. That's a lie. That is a lie. I could see it as soon as you said it. I've seen them a bunch. In Lost this season... Did I punch you in the face?

What? Spoiler alert. They do time travel, and ostensibly, a guy kills Hitler. Is it ostensibly or obstensibly? Or obscenely. Or ostensibly, a guy kills Hitler. Is it ostensibly or obstensibly? Or obscenely. Or ostensily. Obstetricians. Obdictown.

What? What? I haven't upset you. No, you have some weird linguistic kind of Tourette's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What were we talking about, though? Time travel. That's the question.

So if you could travel through time, you got one shot. You only get one shot, one opportunity. Spaghetti. Spaghetti. Eight mile, go. Okay, well here it is. I'm going to keep it local.

Yeah, you're a local boy i'm a local boy i born and raised vancouver right you know so uh i would travel back to expo 86 okay and the world finally talk to expo earning oh my god because you know that's when i went and expo when i was four or five years old um and exploity sex happened and i the week went from, like, all I wanted to do was see Expo Ernie, and it went from I had this pure, unconditional love to this vehement hatred for Expo Ernie. Wow. For those of you who don't know, it was the robot mascot of the World Exposition in Vancouver. was the robot mascot of the World Exposition in Vancouver. And I never found him.

I never spoke with him. And I'd like to have a conversation with the real live Expo earner. Can I ask you what year you were born? 82. Okay. So that would make you about four-ish? Four, yeah, or five, as I already said. Depending on what math system you use. Yeah. The wrong one one or the right one

in Expo 86 I had the same experience I wasn't born and raised here my family came out here on the Oregon Trail it was the Oregon Trail

one of us got eaten because we got frozen on the side of a mountain. And someone got dysentery. Yeah. And they died. And the other one of us got the vapors. But thank God you're a banker from Boston. Yeah. Why would you not pick banker?

This is a money thing. It has nothing to do with how much money you've got. Yeah. You know what? I want less money, but the same skills. Go on. But I wanted to meet Expo Ernie as well. That was my whole thing.

That was the entire time. Because Expo Ernie, like you say, he was the mascot. He was a little spaceman. He was a stout little spaceman robot. And when I looked all around, because he was like a life-size guy and i guess he was controlled he was about four feet yeah and this was the thing is i never saw him in person

i went to look for a bathroom and i came around the corner it was pouring rain the entire time we were here at expo i came around the corner rain cooler and there was there he was had been decommissioned by the rain so he was slumped over like he had been shot in the back of the head he was behind a tent and I saw it and I nearly shit myself

it was like if you had seen Ronald McDonald giving a blowjob to Grimace it was the worst and if you had seen Gr McDonald giving a blowjob to Grimace, it was the worst. And if you had seen Grimace's dick, like, you know, at all. He's hung like a taste bud. Yeah. He's hung like the mayor of Frytown, is it?

Yeah. There's a mayor in the McDonald's. Mayor McCheese. Mayor McCheese. The mayor of Frytown. Could have happened. You know. There's a by-election coming up Stranger things are bad

You know Aaron Salazar Yes, I've met him Do you know Aaron Salazar? He's a local artist I think I maybe have He performed at my show Yeah, he performed at your show He's an improviser and entertainer as well

He's Vancouver's Wayne Brady That's how I describe him Oh yes, of course Yeah, he performed at your show. He's an improviser and entertainer as well. He's Vancouver's Wayne Brady. Sure. That's how I describe him. Oh, yes, of course. Okay. He's painted some stuff at Nat Bailey, you know. On the side of the building? I don't know.

He painted the baseball players? Yeah. Yeah. Really? Maybe. I don't know. I haven't seen it. They're beautiful.

He does a lot of baseball-related paintings. If he did those, they're great. he designed all my former band's logos oh he if if that's him if that's him who did the nat bailey he did a fantastic job uh they're very beautiful anyway no not anyway thumbs up all right thumbs up but he is uh he has i think a minor obsession with uh mascots and he loved... He tried to get the Vancouver Canucks to get rid of their Orca mascot, Finn, and replace him with Super Grizz,

who was the Vancouver Grizzlies mascot from the NBA. That's not a bad suggestion. Finn was great. He did dunks. No, Finn didn't. Super Grizz did dunks. And what Grizz did Dunks. No, Finn did. No, Finn didn't do Dunks. Super Grizz did Dunks. The best mascot gone. And what Grizz did?

Nothing. What's that? Regular Grizz? Because he wasn't always Super Grizz. No, yeah, regular Grizz just worked at a newspaper. The secret identity? Not so good for Super Grizz. I think the best mascot going is the Sasquatch.

He's a basketball team. There's a Sasquatch mascot. Is it the Sonics? Do the Sonics have a Sasquatch. He's a basketball team. There's a Sasquatch mascot. Do the Sonics have a Sasquatch? No. I want to say it was the Trailblazers. It's the Sonic Boom. Yeah, he's the Sonic Boom. He just comes out in the arena

and then you can't hear. No one can hear. For two minutes. But everyone gets a t-shirt aaron salazar was putting on a vent putting on an event and he wanted he's putting up a vent yep uh he wanted expo ernie there and uh expo ernie is owned by Vancouver billionaire Jim Patterson. Yeah. And so Aaron looked up the Jim Patterson group in the yellow pages and called them up. And who answered the phone?

Jim Patterson. Oh, I thought you were going to say Expo Ernie. Wow. Hello, this is Expo Ernie. This is Expo Ernie. So may I direct your call? Is Expo Ernie some kind, may I direct your call? Is Expo Ernie some kind of space genius? Yes. Well, I think...

You know what I always thought would be a good idea? What? To bring Expo Ernie back. But you know in Short Circuit 2 when he becomes an American citizen? Yes. And he gets gold-plated? Yeah. No! Yes, I do. Continue. becomes an american citizen yeah and he gets gold-plated yeah no yes i do continue in short circuit two when he becomes an american citizen he and he's and he's have you not seen short

circuit two maybe not oh man there's at one point he goes to war he's got one of his arms broken against gangsterssters gangbangers he joins a Latino gang and then he goes to Radio Shack and he punks himself out Los Locos I think it's the Los Locos and then he

puts on he makes himself a mohawk he has a mohawk and he's got an eye patch and he goes and fucks them up. But at the end, he gets gold-plated. He gets gold-plated. Yeah, that's true. Wouldn't it be amazing if we brought Expo Ernie back to be the new mascot of the Vancouver Canucks, but he's gold-plated?

Oh, yes! Yes. That's called full circle. You can do your goodbyes now. We're not. No, we're talking about this for another 45 minutes. Well, you look at your watch. We're not. No, we're talking about this for another 45 minutes. Well, you look at your watch. Oh. Wow.

Wow. Everybody out there, if you're interested in calling in, Hey, before we do that. Sorry. I just want to say that we really wanted to get Ryan Beal on the show, and we were right. I was gonna do that. I was gonna cycle through it. You know what? He takes precedence

because he's with us. Why don't I say it myself? He's in this mortal coil. Yeah, how good were you? I say 10 out of 10. I say you know, it's like when that guy who first won the millionaire and he called his dad to say I'm about to win

millionaire. It's that good. Yeah, it's that good That crossed with Ken Jennings Oh exactly Super Jeopardy champ And I saw when he lost and I was sad Yeah that was a sad day

Because it was like mortality It was when he got gold plated Then he came back the next night gold plated And became an American citizen That's how it works. If anyone in our audience knows Ken Jennings, and I believe... Or if Ken Jennings is listening, long-time listener. I never know.

Ken Jennings. Yeah, because he's just a normal guy. Exactly. And so are you. And so are we all. We're on Ken Jennings level. Absolutely. If anybody out there would like to call into the show,

we have a phone number. It's a Seattle number. Unfortunately, it's 206-339-8328. And I would also like to point out that... Now, is that for taxes? Yeah. Yep. Right.

Yeah, it's for tax purposes. Got to keep it in Seattle in an offshore account. It's just in the water outside of the space. I heard Seattle's kind of the Bermuda Triangle of Texas. What happened to the Bermuda Triangle? No one gets lost there anymore.

It fell off. People get lost elsewhere now. Yeah, exactly. There's other destinations. I would also like to point out that at the beginning of the show we made reference to the Bosom Buddies they said that because I'm wearing a baseball type t-shirt and

like Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari wear in the last shot of the Bosom Buddies theme which is about 45 minutes long but a good theme song taps out at about 44-45 minutes I don't know if you tell me to live it it's my life I don't know if you tell me to live it, it's my life.

Something. Do, do, do. I don't need to be you. Me, me, I do. I'm a woman. Improviser Ryan Beal, everybody. So yeah, you can call us at the aforementioned number. 1-800-SEAHOX.

Runs, like you said before, each and every Sunday at the Hennessy. 53 West Broadway, Broadway, Manitoba. It's a restaurant called the Hennessy. The best improv in the province. Absolutely. Bar one.

And we have also, if you want to write us... Are you doing the monthly show? For the skunks, once a month at Little Mountain Studios. Stand-ups and improv. Wonderful. Finally together. When can they show up?

One day a month? If you're on Facebook, you'll know about it. And if not, you know. You won't. Yeah, exactly. I understand. It's about... It'll be on a Saturday, probably.

It'll be on a Saturday. Probably the third Saturday It was fun last month It was real loosey goosey I threw a bunch of pennies around The way an independent comedy show should be Yeah Nicely done

Poorly run By the seat of its pants Hoping people will show up You can also write to us stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com and uh i do a lovely recap blog once a week weekly if you will uh per each episode at stop podcasting yourself.blogspot.com graham looks mad no i'm not i it's literally like every time I tried to wrap up, you went on another thing. So I'm like,

I'm not gonna try and wrap up until they do all the... I feel like I'm stepping in between McCartney and Jackson. Say, say, say. The girl is mine. Those are the only two, right? I'm not sure.

You mean of their collaborations? Yeah. Yeah, there was also the lawsuit. I don't know the lyrics to the lawsuit that they had. Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks for coming on. You're a bunch of good guys. You're a fantastic guest.

Or a couple. You're a couple of good guys. We're a couple. You sent the email, and then we have a blog, and that's everything. That's everything. Why are we even talking? The Sunday service. That's why.

Yeah. One last plug. Oh, and go see Ryan Beal as Othello this summer. I will be playing Othello at Bard on the Beach. Othello and... Is it Brad on the Beach? Yeah, I know. Brad's no longer associated.

I'm glad we got that in But do tune in next week for episode 57 Of this fantastic little podcast that could Stop podcasting yourself Obama This is Expo Ernie.