Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 571 - Paul F. Tompkins

Episode Date: February 25, 2019

Paul F. Tompkins returns to talk about singing Clint Eastwood, sledding, and hockey teeth.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 571 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's, uh, geez, what to say? What to say about this man? Uh, as of tomorrow will be the first time that I've ever seen him in a wide-legged pant.

Mr. Dave Shovka. Yeah, tomorrow we're, uh, we're recording This the day before our live show Yeah How are ticket sales going any word on that No one told you So we will be performing for A full house or the cast Of full house we're not sure yet

But Yes and it will be Michael Jordan's birthday MJB And we're wearing Michael Jordan style big jeans. Big jeans. Big designery jeans. Yours has a lot of...

Like a lot of fake wear and tear. Yeah, and mine is just kind of acid washed. Is he known for big jeans? Oh, yeah. I didn't realize that. That's our guest today. So he's mastered it all. Basketball. Baseball. Gambling. Golf. Gambling. jeans oh yeah i didn't realize that um that's our guest today so he's mastered it all yeah basketball baseball gambling golf gambling uh trying not to get his dad murdered acting didn't master that

did not master that still a journeyman uh that voice is our guest today one of our favorite all-time guests one of mr pa F. Tompkins. Hello! What a wonderful treat it is to be back here on the show with you boys. Thank you for coming. Graham? Paul? There's no way I would have missed it, unless I didn't feel like doing it. Yeah.

Now I can be told, maybe I shouldn't say this, but I was approached about doing the live show, but I couldn't do the live show. Right. Because people will know now, legendary happening. Mark Evan Jackson and I dropped in with the Sunday service. Yeah. We went from our show right to there. Which was opposite our live show where our guests are Evan Jackson, Mark. Yeah. And Tom F.

Tom F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F, Mark, and Tom F. Balkans. So people are still buzzing about it all over town. Yeah. As you said, it was a happening. About both shows. It was a happening. Yeah. Plants tried to kill us.

But water fixed it. Water fixed it. No, water fixed the signs. Yeah. Water fixed the signs. Let water fixed the signs. Yeah. Water fixed the signs. Let's get to know us. Get to know us. Now, M. Night Shyamalan, he's from your hometown of Philadelphia.

That's correct. And how did we fix the happening? I think the plants were like, they learned their lesson. Eventually it just stopped. We said, uncle. Yeah. The plants were like, let this be a warning. We could do this.

We can do this all day. And then they just stopped doing it. Was there a twist? They went back to their, was the twist that it was plants? I haven't seen it. No, I haven't seen it either. I don't think there was a twist i honestly i sort of recommend seeing it in the way that you recommend a bad movie in terms of a dumb movie that you would laugh at there's a lot of laughs in this movie it's dumb

is uh are all of his movies kind of ride that line no not as not as much as this one. This one is extreme. This guy is just standing up for his city brotherly love brother. My pa's out! My pa's out! I'm out! This is some of that brotherly love

I've heard about. I love him like a brotherly! The one that was before his most recent one called... Stuart Little. No, not Stuart Little.

Split. Yeah. I couldn't. Too spooky. Too crazy. I think the last one of his I saw is The Happening. I did not see Lady in the Water. I didn't see The Last Airbender.

Oh, it's great when the dogs meet with that spaghetti in the middle. Pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good yeah pretty good yeah pretty good that was fun um she gets too hungry for dinner at eight thirsty because the lady in the water she does get very thirsty because she's surrounded by water but she can't drink it or she'll die yep ah so many water themes it's like we're surrounded by air but if we like consume any we burp yeah it's true oh i've had that hiccups thing from spicy food uh-huh is it so funny what it's not to me today it was the funniest i've had it where it's not like a bunch of hiccups in a row where it's just like you don't know when it's going to happen and it's very it's a real hard hiccup it was and yeah but the looks on my uh dining partner's faces is what made it so funny but was it funny to you yeah it was legitimately like you know you gotta laugh yeah that's true maybe i've been alone when it's happened to me. I haven't been around other people.

Well, God said, ha. Tell him I said, ha, back. How many times has this happened to you? Because I'm. Oh, just a couple of times. But I also used to get it when I smoked. Because I think of the way that I smoked was like I would inhale, but I would also kind of like gulp in the smoke. Do you know what I mean?

So I was taking in, I was taking in too much air. You'd breathe in and then also swallow a little bit of smoke for later. I got it. That's right, for the winter. And I would get smoking he coughs. It was terrible.

Do you like a spicy food? Yes, but not that. I'm not crazy. I'm not seeking out the most uncomfortable experience like a spicy food? Yes, but not that. I'm not crazy. I'm not seeking out the most uncomfortable experience like a lot of people are. And the other day I got these chips. It's going to have a say. I made a sandwich at home and I saw these chips in the supermarket and they were, they were called haunted ghost pepper chips.

And I thought, well, they're chips. They're not going to be like crazy hot yeah they were insane they should there should have been more on the packaging that was like only get these if you're one of these assholes who loves super hot things i think when they put the word ghost pepper on things it's like i should have taken them at their word is that the that's the like that's the spiciest of the spices well no it's just the That's the like That's the That's the Spiciest of the spices Well no it's just the code It's like

Yeah Oh okay If they have a You know a ghost pepper hanky Hanging out of The left side of their pocket Right Oh then that means

They're down They're down for spicy stuff I gotcha The Why is it Haunt Like is Why is the haunted part

Now in retrospect I feel like haunted they were trying to say this is even worse than you think it's going to be if we just said ghost pepper

you would have been like okay whatever they should have told me that these are worse than just ghost pepper these are haunted like imagine a ghost being haunted

that's terrifying oh god even the ghost is tormented by this. Yeah. I've got unfinished business and. This ghost is haunted

by Harold Ramis. Ah. Because he was a Ghostbuster unfinished business. He's not in the third Ghostbusters movie. So he's haunting

other ghosts. There's another Ghostbusters movie coming out? Yeah, with the original cast. Really? Yeah. Well, we did it, everybody. Even Bill Murray?

Did he answer his 800 number? He foolishly answered on the first ring. That's the thing. If you catch him on the first ring, he is bound to do whatever you ask him to do. He picked up the wrong line. There's a documentary on Netflix about Bill Murray and about the, like just the legend of him showing up places, I guess. Yeah. What a mysterious guy.

Yeah. That's sort of played out at this point, I think. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. And also, was it like, was it ever good? Yeah. That's sort of played out at this point, I think. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. And also, was it, like, was it good? Was it ever good? Yeah.

I think it was. It was. I remember first hearing about it, and it was good. In fact, we got married in South Carolina, my wife and I. So Cal. So Cal. We, we, Bill Murray was at that point, it was was the it was sort of the beginning of bill murray showing up places and so we let it be known to our our the person who's helping us with our wedding like

hey if he's if you have any line to him like if he wanted to show up and have a free drink and then leave, that would be hilarious. And we're underlying the end leave part. Yeah. We do not want him bartending all night. Bartending all night? Because didn't he like he would show up at a bar? Wasn't it just like his son owned a bar? Maybe.

Yeah. Yeah. And then, yeah, he bartended all night. And partied every night. All night. Yeah. Yeah. That's got to be blown out of proportion.

He probably bartended like four drinks. I don't know. I wasn't there. I just heard that he bartended all night. Grant, why did you bring us this shoddy story? Because I don't have anything. I've got second-hand, third-hand Bill Murray stories. Check your sources.

I'll watch that documentary, I guess. But yeah, he's not doing that anymore. He's not doing the showing up and... I don't know that he... No, I think the last thing I saw him, he was playing golf. Oh, yeah. He loves playing golf oh yeah he loves he loves that he had a shot and he threw his club up in the air and his caddy caught it pretty cool you gotta give him credit also people can just lie and say that he showed up somewhere

that's true there was that there the famous thing about him going up to people in new york and covering their eyes and when they see it's him. And he says, no one will ever believe you. And it's like, that's a very convenient story. And then Bill Murray said to me, no one will ever believe you. I liked your tweet. You would do the same thing. And I would say to people, no one will ever care.

People, it was great. People took that as an opportunity to, like, tell me what a nobody I was. Oh, really? On Twitter? I think I covered that in the joke. That's all taken care of. Because I go to Twitter for support. Graham's, all of his replies are, no, you're pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're pretty good. You send it to a lot of my tweets. Thank you. Yeah. Well, I think it's true. That's what I do. I spend a lot of time on Twitter just replying. No, no. Hey. You're a saint. You're the saint of Twitter. Thank you.

Bill Murray also owns a baseball team. He owns the Charleston Riverdogs. The Charleston. Hard owner, probably. Oh, yeah. He owns the whole thing. What's their deal? Their deal is they're a.

Triple A? Do they fledgel? They've already fledged. Okay. So they've been around for a little while now. When do I stop fledgling? Do you feel like you're still fledgling? I mean,

when, what does it mean? Yeah. Start, this doesn't just mean starting out. It's like you're starting out. You're figuring your thing out. You're showing everyone you're fledgling.

And, or that you're of fledge. Right. You're a fledgling. You've pledged to fledge. Yeah. Is it D-G-F-L-E-D-G-L? Like, is it those?

Yeah. Is it three consonants in a row? Those three consonants? Oh, I'm out. The axis of evil. Those three consonants? Yeah. But if you're

If you're An old hand at something else And you try something new That's fledgling Ooh No I think No matter when you try something new You're fledgling

You're fledgling Yeah So if like When Clint Eastwood You can't avoid it You can't avoid it You want to not be fledgling At something

But you're going to be I want to know Your Clint Eastwood Yeah let's hear this Analogy When he sang At the end of Gran Torino Was he Was that fledgling in something, but you're going to be fledgling too. I want to know your Clint Eastwood analogy. Yeah, let's hear this. When he sang at the end of Gran Torino, was that fledgling singing? No, he sung before. In what? Yes, he sung before. He was in,

I think he sung on, he played a singer. Wah, wah, wah. That's it. That was Bobby McFerrin, that. That's no instruments. And that was before Bobby McFerrin That's no instruments And that was before Bobby McFerrin But that was the term they used

Hollywood That's where Bobby McFerrin got his name He took it from the Hollywood term Yes Like Dave Foley Who does all his sound effects Yeah He's always putting his hand in potato chips

Breaking celery Yeah And slapping a nice wet chamois Who does all his sound effects. Yeah. He's always putting his hand in potato chips. Breaking celery. Yeah. And slapping a nice wet chamois. Clint Eastwood has, I think he played in a movie called Bronco Billy. I think he played like a singing cowboy. I'm so excited to learn this. Graham is rubbing his hands together with glee. I'm so excited Graham is rubbing his hands together with glee

And I think he Yes he was in a musical Called Gran Torino Paint Your Wagon Yeah yeah The wagon was a Gran Torino It was a Gran Torino station wagon Because now he's like 90

And he still makes a movie a year When he was a young man he was Whipping him out 3- movie a year. When he was a young man, he was whipping them out three, four a year. He was whipping them out. So we wouldn't say that he has a fledgling singing career. He's already fledgled. He's already beyond that. He's an old hand at the same time.

I don't know if we would say that he has a singing career. I think he would. I think he did put out an album. What? I think that he did. That would be amazing. That's a singing career i think he would i think he did put out an album what i think that he did that would be amazing that's a good thing to think yeah i think it's true and i think he sang with his daughter alice eastwood okay all right let me just hit up spotify hit the clint eastwood channel on Spotify. Is that how Spotify works? Also, I would just love on a satellite radio a Clint Eastwood music station. There's a song called Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz.

Maybe he's only on Tidal. He might be one of those artists. All right. Here are his Clint Eastwood. He has 28,000 monthly listeners. Holy shit. Are those people that listen to Clint Eastwood's stuff once a month? Yeah, upon their periods.

That time of the month. Yeah, Uncle Clint's coming. His number one song, Claudia's Theme, version 8. There you go. Okay. Version 8. Doe Eyes, Love Theme from the Bridges of Madison County. Oh, boy. Jeez.

Haunting. Are there words? Doe Eyes. You got those doe eyes! Honey baby, meet me under the bridge! His singing voice is a lot different than his speaking voice. Yeah.

And that's... We all know this. Tell me your story. I'll tell you mine. There we go. Turn it up. Yeah. I love this. Sing me your song. I'll tell a lie. Turn it up. Turn it up. Yeah. I love this. Sing me your song. I'll come alive. I will.

I will. And I will say. We know this is the theme. This is Sully's theme. This is Sully's theme. Oh, is this Sully's theme? Well, this is Flying Home, Sully's theme. I hit a goose.

The goose hit me Two, three, four Always land in the Hudson There's no female singer credited in that track. So you think that's Clint Eastwood? I'm just, I'm saying. Wow. Man of a thousand voices.

Wow. At least two. Mm-hmm. He's never made an animated film. How do you know that? Seagram? That's right. You throw that out there.

That's true. Now I need to know. Like, did he voice one of those weird adult heavy metal cartoons or something? adult heavy metal cartoons or something. I remember being very unnerved by the commercials for the heavy metal cartoon. Because it came out when I was a little kid. Yeah. And there was something about it. It was on, like, in Canada in the early 90s.

There were these two channels, well, Bravo and Showcase. And on Friday and Saturday nights after 10 you would get they would show something a little spicy yeah

but they frequently onto ghost pepper you green you got damn it as long as somebody said they frequently showed heavy metal oh really

yeah I kind of remember that was a cable staple for a while yeah and it was the Bluth. Was it a Bluth? Bloom?

Ralph Bakshi? Was it Bakshi? Are you thinking of Don Bluth? Am I? Rats of Nim, that guy? Yeah. Yeah. Is that him?

Maybe it was a collabo between the two. I know Ralph Bakshi was definitely part of it. He was a karate kid, right? Yeah. Still is. Ralph Bakshio. Has not been dethroned. And what was it?

Have either of you ever seen it? It was pure dirt. I think it was. It was a bunch of cartoons being nude. I think it was several, it was like a sort of anthology thing. I think it was several, it was like a sort of anthology thing. I think it was many different stories.

Right. Perhaps. But it was a fantasy like in the sense of like dragons and metal bikinis. I don't think all of it because I remember

the Bob Seger song Night Moves being a part of it. Oh, that? I remember that in a movie called American Pop which was was that animated that was animated and that same type of like scary animation also ralph

backshee yeah yes and i remember that i'm thinking of yeah maybe that's what i think but i've also thought heavy metal had to do with cars like there were cars yeah there might be it might i have a vague image of the poster in my mind. Kind of like filthy cars. Filthy, disgusting cars. Owen Wilson is voicing one of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The late Paul Newman voicing another.

The cable man. Was he credited as Larry the Cable Guy? I think he was. What are they going to credit him as? His real name? Yeah, what is his real name? Dan Whitney, I think. Dan Whitney.

Dan Whitney. They wouldn't have credited him as that. I remember him as Dan Whitney. Of course. Of course you do. Yeah. Of course, you're old.

I remember when they would like credit The Rock as The Rock. Mm-hmm. And is Lady Gaga credited as Lady Gaga? She is. Yeah.

She is. Also, Fozzie the Bear is doing a voice in a cartoon. That I did not understand what was going on. What's happening? Fozzie the Bear from the Muppets. The fake thing. The fake thing voiced by a real...

The fake thing that's not alive. Voiced by a real human. Frank Oz. Is he alive? Yeah. Frank Oz? Yeah, he's alive. He's still with us. What have you heard?

I've got, is Frank Oz still alive.com? You're just trying to drive traffic to your site? Yeah. I don't know. Is he? Only one way to find out. you're just trying to drive traffic yeah to your site yeah i don't know is he um but uh uh fozzy the bear is doing a voice in a cartoon so it's not the actor who plays fozzy the bear it is fozzy the bear being credited it It's Frank Oz doing the Fozzie the Bear voice pretending to be this other character. Yes. I googled Frank Oz dead and it just came up May 25th, 1944.

Oh no. Maybe he died in the war. A long time ago. Huh. You know what I mean? Man. A ghost has been operating. Yoda and such.

Now things are getting spicy. Yoda was a ghost. Yoda was getting spicy. Yoda was a ghost. Yoda was a ghost. Yoda became a ghost eventually. Yeah, that's true. That, to me, is the biggest problem with, for all the people

who complain about Star Wars, which, come on, knock it off. But the fact that these people get killed and it's a big moment when these characters get killed, but then they're just back as like,

goes like, Hey, I'm here. Yeah. Don't worry. Yeah. Well, I don't understand the point of that.

Well, wait, does a storytelling point of view it? First of all, it's not treated as a big deal at all. Like the other cat, Luke Skywalker or whatever. They're like,

Oh, okay, good. It's good to see you again. Oh, when they come back, it's like, Oh oh, okay, good. It's good to see you again. Oh, when they come back as the ghost. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're back.

That for most movies is the plot of the movie. And a ghost shows up? Yeah. This person that you love that you saw killed is back as a ghost. And in this movie

it's just like, eh, that happens. People come back as ghosts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just don't remember how Yoda died well did you yeah he just died he just was old

and you know God willing we get a young Yoda movie an origin movie with young Yoda he's got long hair even in the prequels

he's pretty old leather jacket his voice is cracking oh he's that young yeah yeah yeah he's pretty old. Leather jacket. His voice is cracking. Oh, he's that young. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's fledgling. He's fledgling.

It's like Junior High Yoda. Junior High Tribe. Because he does, he has wisps of hair. So he had hair At one point Covering He was probably quite tall Yeah That's true He was probably like

Six foot tall Yeah And then because he's 900 years old He just got smaller And smaller And smaller Like look at

Five-ish Finkel Look at him Is he still alive No he's dead Oh no He stayed kind of tall Didn't he Five-ish Finkel

He what Didn't he stay kind of tall Hmm I'm thinking of him As a tall man Let me just he, 5ish Finkel? He what? Didn't he stay kind of tall? Hmm. I'm thinking of him as a tall man. Let me just Google 5ish Finkel height at death. While you're at it, could you put in 5ish Finkel feet? That would save me some time. You know what?

It just suggested it. And then it's just pictures of his feet? Yeah. In shoes. Do you know how many... Always in shoes. Why would he how many... Always in shoes. Why would he be photographed with his shoes on? Big wingtips.

Do you know how many toes he had on each foot? Five or six? Somewhere between four and six. Yeah, in that area. Why do I know who he is? Picket Fence is your favorite show. Ohet fence is uh boston public okay well okay these are two shows that i have never seen but i know that he was he was on what was picket fences picket fences was a dramedy okay an early 90s dramedy i think a tom A Tom Skerritt vehicle. Tom Skerritt.

Was it about a weird town? A quirky town? Quirky, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Tom Skerritt was the sheriff or something? Yeah, and it was a real Emmy bait. Oh, okay. But do we live in the golden age of the dramedy right now?

No, I feel like the early 90s picket fences northern exposure ali mcbeal ali mcbeal yeah but i feel like there's a lot of them that come out where it's like i know that this is being sold as a comedy but there seems to be a lot of drama yeah it's just not very funny so maybe it's a dramedy i Yeah maybe. I remember being in a bar when Ally McBeal was very popular and overhearing this woman talking about it and she kept saying Ally

Bealy and she said it 500 times. I thought you were going to say you were in a bar watching Ally McBeal like it was a weekly thing. Yeah.

On the big screen. Before the internet people would go to bars and watch Ally mcbeer bond to shepherd to chill out do a song because they chased us away from the department store window we had nowhere else to watch tv the internet was very new i mean all it had was that dancing baby uga uga chaka Was the Dancing Baby an internet thing first and then it was used

on LNP? I can't imagine it was an internet thing first because back then the bandwidth to get a gif

that animated Don't even you know don't even try to imagine how hard Was it a screensaver? Was it a screensaver?

Maybe it was a screensaver I don't I don't remember why it was a screensaver? Maybe it was a screensaver. I don't remember why it was such a big deal, but it was a huge deal. Yeah, I don't remember either. I never saw the second one

of Ally McBeal. I, for some reason, that's one that I did see a lot of and I'm not sure why. Who was I trying to impress at the time?

They shared bathrooms? Yes, they had a unisex bathroom. Yeah. And, it was a law firm. it was a law firm. It was a law firm. They would often meet at a bar after work.

That's where Vonda Shepard played. She played the theme song. Oh, that's right! Yeah. I forgot about that! Yeah, they would somehow, she was always the one performing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then...

And it made her career. Yeah. I mean, you know, it it's an unstoppable bullet train ever since she's saying the she's saying sully's theme uncredited did she was there a theme song to ally mcbeal oh you know there was i don't know did vonda shepherd singepard sing it? Yeah, she did. Yeah. Ally McBeal. Ally Bealy. And then Ally Bealy says, oh, I can hear her. And her partner wouldn't tell.

No, this was one of those situations where obviously her friends were letting her run out of steam well she'll tire herself out it was called Searching My Soul by Vonda Shepard I think it charted for sure there was a music of Ally McBeal that came out what did he say? the listener can enjoy or not.

Was that, was that the first instance of that, of like the music from a TV show coming out as an album friends? Yeah, there was, but yeah, albums worth. There was an,

a friend's album that I had. Oh, I do apologize. It had the Rembrandts. Of course it did. Was it just a compilation? Did the album open and close with that same song? It might have had the 30-second version and the radio single with the bridge. Yeah.

Have you ever heard the full version of the Cheers theme song? Where there's other verses about how hard life is? Yeah. It's sort of like when you find out there's other verses of the national anthem. There's other times you don't want people to know your name. But sometimes you want to go. Everybody. Does the Canadian national anthem have verses that people don't sing?

Or is that a whole thing? There's a French and an English. Ooh la la. And the French one is very... Dirty. It's a little more like... Full sauce here. It's risque.

It's a little more like, you know, kind of a battle theme. Oh, really? Because it's different lyrics. Yeah. It's not just like... Same tune, different lyrics? Yeah. So there's a French Weird Al version of the Canadian Ashland.

Yeah, they actually got Weird Al. French Weird Al. Alvin Bizarre. Alvin Bizarre. Why? as they'll be sad. Why? Oh, that makes me think of Victor,

the JFL mascot. I love him. Paul, you're in town just for laughs. Yeah, man. You love it. Yeah, I love to laugh. And so a thing that's just for those, I'm all about it. And you love Victor. You. I love to laugh. And so a thing that's just for those, I'm all about it.

And you love Victor. You love that little green guy. I think he's big. I see him walking around. He's big. Yeah. They have a big mascot guy. A big foam rubber Victor.

Yeah. And the owl. The local. The local owl? Kevin the owl. Kevin the owl. What? The JFL Northwest owl. They have two mascots?

Yeah. And they kind of, on all the promo materials, they're kind of just hanging out together. Like, we know they don't get along. Is there one for the Toronto JFL? Does he have his own? No. Do they have their own? Yeah, that's JFL 42, so it's Jackie Robinson.

A plush Jackie Robinson. Yeah, walking around with a big foam bat. Yeah, Kevin the Owl. That is weird. Why two mascots? When has that ever worked? Geico. I mean, Geico's got like seven or eight.

Geico, take it easy already. Now they're doing like, remember these classic Geico commercials? Really? Yeah. Are you not seeing these? No. Oh, they're reissuing their commercials from a million years ago. So like there's one with the cavemen.

There's one with the. Cavemen are back. The guy, like the sort of Robert Stack guy is like, does Geico save you money on insurance does a pig go wee wee wee all the way home that is every then you realize what they have for a long time been doing multiple campaigns at the same time the lizard the gecko yeah the gecko yeah the gecko and then there's just like weird just geico ads that just don't have a mascot for guys very off yeah it's for dudes um i don't see those ads because i don't it's it's it's a weird type of tv like they don't show them they're geico's american i'll say it is so it has to be a channel that is not broadcasting something live in canada at the same time because we have simultaneous substitution

where we get the Canadian feed even if we're watching the American channel. So it's really if I'm watching Storage Wars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you know about Geico. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And about how much stuff that people store away. Yeah.

That sounds like two knocks against watching Storage Wars. Well, they've got a German guy now. Really? Yeah. There's a new guy? Maybe they've got a German guy now. Well, as the host? No, no, no.

As a storage warrior. As a storage warrior. I've never heard them called that, but that's exactly what they are. Storage combatants? Storage warriors. Because I was watching some in a hotel a couple weeks ago, and they, uh, they don't have Dave Hester anymore. Dave Hester? Yep.

He's not with us anymore. Check my website. It's Dave Hester a lot. He died in a plane crash with Frank Oz. Yep. Day the 1942. Um, but,

uh, yeah, so, uh, it's now there's okay who are the people you remember there's skeleton hands skeleton hands barry is that his name yeah barry this is good there's me to check my phone there's there's the guy in his son the like sunburned big guy. Is that not Dave Hester? No Dave Hester was yep. It was sunglasses. Oh my god. Was the sunburned guy his name maybe was Dale? Is that possible? It's possible.

It's not but it's a name like that. It's a human man name. They have sponsored content in it now where Dale and his son were driving along eating a Subway and talking about oh you know they have a new oh they're trying these new kind of things at subway you bought one yeah it's really good i'll try one too i can so awkward i can easily picture them driving and

eating a subway sub that's that's something that didn't take any pressure at all to get them to do. They said, would you drive Anita Subway? Yes. And they said, well, I already kind of am. I think what they should have done if Subway was smart, rather than that stupid integrated marketing, they should have had one of the storage spaces filled with Subway sandwiches. They're still good. These are good forever. Yeah. I just bought these this afternoon

and I put them in a safe place and then I realized my mistake. Sandwiches. And then I took them to my subway guy, to my submarine sandwich guy, and he appraised them. Oh, for a long sub, that's worth $800-$900. So who's the German guy? The German guy is... Der Commissar? Is he in town? Uh-oh. so who's the german guy the german guys okay there's also oh oh um there's uh uh well there's

jared and brandy uh and uh now there's a german guy who's yeah i mean i guess the theme of every character is they think they're smarter than everyone else. Yeah. So this show is really about the human condition. Yes, it is. And what's new at Subway. I want to feel like it was like, um, it wasn't a sandwich. Oh, it was a wrap. Maybe something. Subway, a catch a ball.

It was a Subway, a ball? It was a Subway Acacia ball I said bowl Now I'm picturing That it's some sort of Pressed focaccia Yeah A focaccia ball Yeah

That's what I said Yeah It's a Subway focaccia ball It's a crib Like instead of a matzo ball Crib Yeah Crib

It's like the size of a softball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it in soup. Here you go. Subway's focaccia ball. No gloves. They just reach in to a pan of bread,

squish it up, and hand it to you. When did you last visit a Subway? Oh, wow. It's been, the last time was when I was on tour with Comedy Bang Bang.

Uh-huh. I can't remember what state we were in, but we were in the middle of nowhere. We were driving from one gig to another. And we stopped in at this subway and the employees were thrilled to recognize Lauren Lapkus. Oh. Oh, really? Yeah. It was so much fun to watch.

They were like someone finally like the, we saw the two women behind the counter were, were clearly talking about her. Well, we didn't know at first they were talking and it seemed like they were having like they were gossiping or something. And it, it,

but it was very hushed and very intense. And then finally one of them said, over to our our table we dined in yeah sure yeah and uh said excuse me are you on tv and lauren said yes and i'm a i'm a storage warrior this woman screamed to her friend i knew it and they were so excited and they took pictures with her and then other people in the subway were like oh yeah yeah okay and what show are you on just for my reference i think they all knew her from orange is the new black. O-I-N-N-D-B. I'll say. That Van Halen album title. Yeah, O-I-N-D-B. The original dramedy.

What's the weirdest place that you've been recognized? Like a subway is kind of an odd place to be recognized by the employees. Yeah. Also, what's the weirdest place you've made whoopee? Yeah, yeah, yeah to be recognized by the, by the employees. Yeah. Yeah. Also, what's the weirdest place you've made a whoopee? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

that'd be in the butt. Classic question. Classic answer. Do you know that that is not an urban legend? No. Yeah. I've seen it. I've seen it too.

I, I had, I grew up hearing that. Then hearing that it never happened. What we're describing is an episode of the newlywed game. The newlywed game, hosted by Bob Eubanks. And he asked, what's the strangest place you ever made whoopie? But I think she says, in the ass?

In my ass. And she says it very confidently, like, I understand this, in the ass. Oh, yeah. But I had heard, so I grew up thinking, hearing that this was real. Then I grew up, then I heard

that it was an urban legend. Like, that never happened. And then I saw some show about bloopers or something. TV bloopers and practical jokes? It was post that. It was almost like a history of bloopers.

I know. Don't get too excited. I'm probably wrong. It's time to choose my major yeah the history channel after dark oh man did you ever see bloopers from and the little janitor comes out it's not unlike the JFL Gangs theme. It's true. It's also whenever the Never Not Funny podcast, their

theme song, the closing theme. It's very much like bloops and pracks. Yeah. Did you ever see bloopers from like really old movies like Humphrey Bogart, black and white films? No. I've seen a couple of John Wayne. Yeah.

It's very funny to watch him laugh. Cause he's very, he's got a real wheezy laugh, but these real old ones are not fun because the, because it's, you know, film is expensive. And so these people are, they're just angry that they're fucking up and they're just cursing.

Like, God damn it. There's no joy in it. There's no like crew laughter or anything everyone's on the same page this is bad that this happened it's all casey case on the whole time it's all like those are the authentication yeah the casey case um the who's the uh drummer buddy rich being angry paul anka. Oh, all the anger tapes. Yeah. There's a John Wayne one where he does that

high school commencement or college commencement and he's clearly drunk out of his mind. And the big line from that was, it's getting to be god damn ridiculous.

Paul, weirdest place you've been recognized. Yeah. Weirdest place I've been recognized. You stalled it long enough

also do you remember when that guy solved the No Whammies show yeah you figured out the pattern

or is that what it was yeah and there was nothing they could do what was the name of that show uh oh

it was called Yes Whammies. No? Card Sharks? No. Not Tic-Tac-Toe. Why did I ask? Class of Concentration?

Borgen? Yeah, it was Borgen. It was Borgen. The Norwegian show Borgen. I was recognized. Speaking of Scandinavia, I was recognized in was recognized in iceland oh that was very strange yeah yeah and where where what was it from we were uh people never say they just go people very rarely say usually usually they'll talk and it's usually now it's usually podcasts like it's

i'm a big comedy bang bang fan or whatever, but a lot of times it's like, I've just been a fan of yours for such a long time. And I know that they're a fan of one thing. Nobody, nobody likes all the things that I do. Everybody, everybody has one thing and then they are shocked to find out that I've done anything else.

Uh, but in Iceland, like you were just there as a tourist? Yeah, I was just on vacation. Wow. And somebody said, excuse me, are you Paul Tompkins? And I said, yes. I was very surprised. Am I? I'm on a vacation for myself, so really.

Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, you know, it snowed this week. Yeah. We saw the snow. When we came over to the airport, we saw the snow. Yeah, it's everywhere. Yeah, it's on the ground. It's on the ground.

It snows every year now. Yeah. It used to snow, and then it would go away, and now it stays for aows every year now Yeah Like it used to snow And then it would go away And now it's like Stays for a week Every year What's this global warming

Everybody's talking about We could use some of that Over here You know what I mean Cause the snow Yeah Cold weather Cause the cold

Yeah And I On There was one day When school was cancelled But my Oh yeah Yeah Oh wait So I loaded up the bong There was one day when school was canceled. Oh, yeah.

Oh, wait. So I loaded up the bong. I went to the arcade. But my kids, their daycare or preschool was still on. And I was like, we're not going to that. We're going sledding. Magical. You know what's super underrated?

Sledding. Sledding's great. I saw footage from Victoria of kids in storage bins going down the hill because nobody owns sleds. And those do not travel well. Like a big Tupperware? Yeah, a big Tupperware.

You guys had, you had like pool stuff, right? So yeah, everyone else there had sleds. Right. We went to just a small hill. Yeah. One of Vancouver's notable small hills. And it was, everyone had sleds. I don't know why, who these people are who own

sleds 365 yeah and we uh we had one um inflatable like kids crab it was a kid's crab kid's crab uh it's crap no further explanation it was a little sort of inner tube kind of thing. And the other thing was a just a square of cardboard in a garbage bag. Yep. Square of cardboard. That'll do. I remember doing a flattened box. I remember doing,

if you had the right kind of winter jacket, you could go down with nothing. You could just slide on your jacket. Abby was saying, oh, just cut out holes in the garbage bag and wear it down. Yeah, that'll do. But that looks bad for the neighbors. Yeah.

Well, the little hill was right next to our neighbor's house. It's one of your hills. So, yeah, it's like, because you hear, you know, winter activities, skating, skiing, all mentioned in the same breath as sledding. Sledding is so much better than everything else.

It really is. It takes no skill. No, that's true. Climbing the hill isn't great. No, but whipping down it. But then your reward is you get to go down there. The best to me are those plastic discs with the two handles. Flying saucers. The straps.

Yeah, flying saucers. That's the best. The king of sleds when I was a kid was the GT Snow Racer. A model name and number. By Noma. Yeah, by Noma.

For real? Yeah, Noma GT Snow Racer. Everyone knows. Yeah, yeah. GT Snow Racer was it. Oh my God. Endorsed by Brett Hall. The hockey player of the St. Louis Blues.

Endorsements. Yeah, it's Canada. Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, we had snow. We didn't like snow. I don't remember any celebrity. Noma is the house brand at Canadian Tire.

I have Rosie Greer. I want to talk to you. That's wild. Yeah, and it was like, it was the, if that's what you wanted for Christmas as a kid. And it was a classic sled. No. Wooden sled. No, what was it?

It was like a hand, like. It had a steering wheel. Steering wheel. And it had like a ski on the front and two kind of it was like a tricycle of skis yeah yeah it was a tricycle skis a celebration of fun yeah and uh and you could oh man you could go off jumps like nobody's business on that thing have you both experienced this no i have have, yeah. Big time. But you envied it.

You coveted it. I know it more now through Graham talking about it every day. Yeah, every day. But it's why they lord over. Is there a day goes by that you don't mention this sled?

Not, especially when it snows. I'm like, guess what time it is, everybody. Have you looked them up online? The GT Snow? Yeah. Like on eBay to get one yeah no i wonder i mean could you fit get an adult fit on one yeah they were always they were always

dads with their kids like dads and grads yeah doing a jump and uh i'm looking up gt snow racing they were big for doing jumps i can't believe there was a celebrity Torcent for a sled It's killing me It's like To me it's like if there was a guy That was doing a course for boogie boards Hi I'm Greg Louganis I love the water

You can get a Star Wars GT Snow Racer for $150 Or best offer Well now I'm Greg Louganis. I love the water. Uh, you can get a star Wars GT snow racer for $150 or best offer. That's not bad. That doesn't seem bad. Yeah. Can I see? I mean, the star Wars one is a big Yoda with long hair.

No, it's a, uh, let me call this thing. Um, a storm trooper, storm trooper face. Cool.

In three, you know. You know what? It looks exactly as you expect it to look. Yeah. Three skis. Wow. No waving. But the fact that they must still make them.

The fact that there's a Star Wars one. This is a modern Star Wars one. At least as of 1977. I think that seems like a classic stormtrooper to me. No. You think it's the modern storm seems like a classic storm trooper to me. No. You think it's the modern storm? Oh, apparently they sell them at Costco now.

Oh, oh. On CanadianTire.ca, they have a section of snow racers. Oh, wow. GT, Spider-Man snow bike, the Stiga snow rider. Spider-Man tribe. The crossover tri-scooter tri scooter what degrassi crossover tri i'm sorry i thought there was a degrassi branded that wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility the batman snow moto beachcombers i want to see i want to get a beachcombers snow racer a A Bruno Gerusi themed.

And so our next door neighbors, I don't know what causes icicles, but our next door neighbors had water. But like, why do some. I don't know what causes icicles. I don't know why some places get icicles and other places don't. Right. That's fair. Our next door neighbors had a wall of icicles. Like they were going down past their windows.

They were like three feet long. Wow. And rising. And I couldn't, I, yesterday or two days ago, it all kind of got warmer. And I heard a few crashes outside and i went and ran to the window to see if they had fallen and they hadn't did you throw up in the sash in my silk hat yeah silk and uh my wife had her neckerchief or whatever she was in her kerchief you were in your cap come on don't make it silly. I was thinking of Frosty the Snowman in that old silk hat.

Oh, yes. That's right. Some magic. Not a lot. There must have been some magic. What an unreliable narrator. I don't believe any of that story. There must have been some magic in that old silk hat.

There probably was magic. The most logical explanation. Because when they placed it on his head. Yeah. But there was just magic sitting in the hat? Can you imagine how terrifying that moment would be? You build a snowman. You put the hat on.

He immediately starts dancing. Yeah. You'd be so freaked out. And we'll put the hat up here. Oh! Yeah, like the first thing, he doesn't kind of just become aware that he's a snowman.

He just starts dancing right away. Yeah, it's not like his head turns a little bit. He begins to dance around. Also, I guess I forget the cartoon. They made him with legs? That's a very unorthodox snowman design. Yeah, yeah. Oh, boy.

You'd be there for days. The structural integrity of those. Sculpting those. Yeah. Those snow haunches. Haunted haunches. Haunches. Haunches. Oh, man.

So, yeah, I had a fun little snow day. Sled day. Sled day. The icicles were cracking. Yeah, but. So, you ran over there and you saw them fall? They didn't fall. Like, I didn't see them fall, but I kept hearing cracks.

I missed it. No icicles on your house. I mean, I feel like it's the kind of thing where, how would you know? Yeah. That's true. I can't see my roof. Do you ever look at the outside of your house? No.

No one does. You look at the outside of other people's houses. Yeah. It's like knowing your own phone number. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. We used to get them when I was a kid.

We used to get like crazy, long, thick icicles. They were terrifying. And all I would do was contemplate the perfect murder. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I bought some ice bullets for that.

The detectives would be baffled. We've got a dead person here. Big hole in their head. Yeah. A lot of water. Yeah. But no weapon.

And no finger, fingerprint. Do you remember the movie Underworld? Is that the Kate Beckinsale? That's correct. Pete Davidson's girlfriend.

Wait, is she? Yeah. Kate Beckinsale? They've been seen together, yes. Oh, moving on. Pete Davidson of Ariana Grande fame? Si. Wow.

Did you know this? No. You're rooting for him. Of course. i wish him nothing but the best um this is the scott speedman movie yeah that's right the scott speedman vehicle um in that film there's a war between vampires and uh werewolves and it opens with a bunch of shooting like people have guns and they're shooting each other. And for I guess the vampires

I think I feel either the vampires had silver bullets in their guns. That makes sense. That track. It's Christmas time in the city. And I thought oh then the werewolves must have wooden bullets in their guns.

Yeah. It turns out people just had regular bullets. So there are these immortal beings that are just shooting each other for no reason. It doesn't do anything. They're just making noise. They're just protecting the Second Amendment. Yeah. Monsters love a 2A, bro.

It's an open carry situation. Second Amendment is the same here, right? Yeah. Monsters love a 2A, bro. It's an open carry situation. Second Amendment, same here, right? Yeah, Second Amendment is, we have the same amendments, different constitution. Yeah. Because the, it was not, it was made, the Bill of Rights was public domain. They forgot to copyright it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's for everyone.

Yeah. We do 10 in English, 10 in French. Yeah. Wait, no, that is the Constitution. That's not the Bill of Rights. The amendments are the Constitution. The Bill of Rights, the amendments, the Bill of Rights is the first 10 amendments. Oh, so it includes the 2A.

Yeah, because when they made the Constitution, they were like, okay, but like, there's nothing in here about guns. Yeah, yeah. Because back then it was all muskets, right? It wasn't like six-shooter stuff. No, it's the same guns. Same guns as now. AR-15s. Okay.

AR. Anyway, there's an AR. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was dumb old cartoon guns that you had to put a stick was involved at some point. Tamp down. How is there even a war? Oh, it sounds like they got a lot of guns

over there. It's just guys going pew, pew, pew. It's just icicles falling off of places. What's up with you, Graham? Yeahham yeah yeah what is up with me what's your problem you're big on asking other people yeah that's true and having it turned around on me i like it a lot yeah then we're not so sure about this table it's wobbly table oh i knocked over a framed photo of i want to say this is Margo. It is Margo. It is. Haven't bought a frame since I got a new baby. So Margo's,

Margo is framed and also the, the phone number of the podcast. Yeah, my two, two most important things in the world

for you. And then, then over there is Wayne Gretzky. Liberace. Oh. Wayne Gretzky in a fur coat.

It's good luck if you see that. Six more weeks of winter. I went to a hockey game. I went to one of these Vancouver Canucks hockey games. How was it? It was so much fun. It was against my hometown of Calgary.

Good game. Solid back and forth. It was a fun game. I watched it on TV. Who won? The Canucks won in a shootout. Pew, pew. Yeah.

They got their gun sticks out. Second Amendment. It's very cute when they do that. Graham, do you follow hockey? I follow the Flames somewhat. And that's about it. The Flames are from Calgary. Calgary.

Calgary. Flametown. Calgary. Calgary Flames. It was, they were the Atlanta Flames and then they moved to Calgary and they didn't

bother to change the name. But why, why Atlanta have flame? Why Atlanta have flame? This was before

the, it's hot Atlanta, everybody knows. This was before they had the Olympics. Yeah, this is the atlanta it was burned to the ground in the civil war yeah it's just it's just a spicy place that's what it's a spicy place yeah it's a hot it's a hot zone yeah sure and uh during the game i've never seen this before uh like even though it's a stereotype of hockey i've never actually seen

it happen uh where a guy got a couple teeth knocked out yeah during the game and the the play stopped and uh i was like what is because you couldn't tell for a second what was going on and the ref was had stopped everybody because he was looking for the teeth oh it was and they showed it on TV yeah and like you could see the player went to the puck was in midair he wasn't being violent no no he was trying to hit the puck out of midair whiffed on it and followed through into the guy in the mouth yeah and and in in slow motion you could see the teeth flying out and they zoomed in on the ice. Oh, my God!

Yeah. The ref picked up the teeth, put them on the edge of where the players were, the camera zoomed in on it, and everybody in the stadium went, Oh! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I want to see that so bad. It's crazy. I sent Graham a text because I knew he was at the game

and I sent him a freeze frame of on the guy's teeth coming out. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, like a cartoon like it was it was and the guy who did it felt so bad you could tell he was just like i'm sorry i knocked out your adult teeth yeah yeah exactly you get one more round don't you baby teeth adult teeth latter years teeth you get that one last wouldn't that be great like I'd give my dentist the finger all the time. Like at 50,

you get another set. All the time. I drive past there egging it. Make appointments just to give him the finger. Yeah. Um, do you still have your wisdom teeth? Yes.

Me too. No. You haven't taken out? Yeah. How old are you? Uh, 16. Oh shit.

Wow. It was, it was, and they were all, what do you call it? Impacted? Impacted. Oh. So it was like a major, major. I'm so sorry. Because at like 14, no, maybe.

Why? It wasn't, hmm. What's going on over there? I feel like I got, I got in? I got four teeth pulled. Yeah. To make room for my wisdom teeth. Wow.

Or to make room for my braces. It happened in the summer. You remember you were on a slip and slide one day, the next day. These were your permanent teeth they pulled? Yeah, Batman Forever was out, I remember. Hearing hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me. Yeah, those collector cups were everywhere. And it took place over two days.

I had to do the top two one day and the bottom two the other day. Oh, like Two-Face. Yeah, sure. When did you get yours? Or you haven't, you still have yours? They're still in there there they're still in my skull did they uh come in or are they still there's still high there's still like way up there when you had yours out how did it go i was it was like big big deal like the

like the newspaper came the newspaper came in and the mayor was there this is this is a batman um it i i just remember when i woke up this was and this was the craziest thing was i woke up and the both of the dentist and his assistant there was blood everywhere and he was like he was like we almost had to send you to the hospital because you just kept bleeding, bleeding, bleeding shit and we didn't know if like if it would stop

so and uh and I was also we don't know how much blood is in the human body yeah exactly we know how much is in your shirt we're just tooth guys

but uh I remember like trying to walk out of the dentist's office and they set you up with someone to pick you up. Yeah. My mom was there, but then I was like, I'm fine. I'm fine.

And I went face first into the elevator. Yeah. Cause, uh, cause I thought it was okay. And I'm guessing 16 year old Graham. Yeah. How long until you smoked again? Uh, that's a good question. Yeah. How long until you smoked again? That's a good question, actually.

Yeah. It was because I was out for like a week recovering because my whole face swollen. It was crazy. It's bad news. Yeah. Did your face ever go back to the way it was? Ouch. Dave. Dave.

No, I'm just asking. I don't know what he looked like before. Well, how long have you guys known each other? 2005, 6? Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

So you've known each other, you've seen each other go through life. That's true. But I feel like I only talk to him this 90 minutes a week and it's pretty, it's pretty surface stuff. Like, I feel like I get the same depth,

uh, like I'm digging in to a whatever, where you're dig a yard. Sure. But I'm digging in very, very shallow. And then the next week I dig in another, so I'm not going,

but not digging in the same place. So it's many shallow holes. Yeah, many shallow holes. Little divots all over the art. We should have called this show Many Shallow Holes. Yeah, well. It was the alternative title. What were some of the alternative titles before you came up with this one?

Boy, I don't remember. There must have been like a list, right? There was three or four. Like we honestly should have thought it through further. I think I told you this because I, I became a listener to the show after being on it for the, for my first time. That's most people's story. Here in Vancouver. And, um, I never met you guys before and I had such a good time.

I was like, I'm going to look at this podcast. And I thought I'll start at the first episode. You've been doing it for a while at that point. And the first episode, I couldn't get through the whole thing because it's like you guys saying, what is a podcast? Yeah. It's, yeah. It's,

uh, yeah. And I, I, uh, we, we have so many like, like there were years where our first episode was our most listened to episode. And I'm like,

really? Yeah. And I'm like, Oh God, well, how, why are people, it's not cereal.

Do you know what? If it was not, I didn't stop listening because it was not good. It felt, it felt private. Like it felt, it felt private. Like it felt like not my business. Right. Oh,

this is too personal. These guys are spying on them. And they're just trying to figure things out. Episode two or three is like episode maybe two. Yeah. Three. Maybe it just has a buzz through the whole thing. I feel like I now have the technology to get

rid of it but leave it as a part of the legend exactly that's it's what it's something that people love now they love that buzz go back to those early episodes and just listen to our technical difficulties

oh by the way Paul we have not been recording your track the whole time. We're going to need you to dub it later. Okay, that's no problem. You have a pretty good recall of everything I said, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is great. So what else happened to the hockey game?

I ate a bunch of junk food. Yeah. What's the hockey go-to? For? Baseball. Here's what I know. Baseball, hot dogs. Yeah. That's what I know. Baseball, hot dogs. Yeah.

That's what I go to. I'll do a footlong. Of course. But Graham is a vegetarian. So I had a veggie dog. That's right. I had a pretzel. Is it the same foods?

Same foods, but mini donuts. Don't know about these mini donuts. It's a tiny donut. Are they from Timmy's? No. No. They're hot. they're hot they're hot out the kitchen they're cinnamon yeah they're covered in cinnamon and sugar and uh

they're everywhere though they're like a a uh you know the fair they're carnival eat yeah yeah do you dip them anything you just eat them as is i just eat i guess you can get mustard or whatever well that's just What's free I don't know if they Had like a chocolate No they don't Something like that

No It's not like Jam Does a churro Come with anything Not Not that I saw But

Yeah I could see These would be Churro adjacent Yeah And you could also Get churros At the hockey So

They're right next to these donuts. You can have a donut shaped or long donut. Yeah. Whatever you like. And then there's all sorts of like boutique kind of stuff. Yeah, they do like jewelry. Like a smoked meat sandwich, a jewelry. There's ladies hats you can eat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. You can eat nachos out of a lady's hat try our souvenir brooches wouldn't it be now this is a community building thing okay if you had like a fancy lady's hat but it had like a sort of bowl in the crown so for the people behind her the dip you could have like nachos or whatever you know i love this and then it's like it she looks stylish yeah you're not you're not creating more trash her head is warm from the nacho from the nacho dip is her hat edible yes of course it is it big chip. Yeah, it's a bread bowl. Yeah.

That's right. It's sourdough bread bowl. It's a focaccia dough bowl or whatever you said before. A focaccia ball. Subway's focaccia balls. That's right. I love this idea. You can't do it like every game, but you do it like one day. It's like we do this every year.

It's not nacho hat day or whatever. It's not nacho hat day. Oh, it's not we do this every year. It's not Nacho Hat Day or whatever. It's not Nacho Hat Day. Oh, it's not. You stuttered. Pardon me. So what do we think about this? I think it's great. I love it.

Me too. Thank you. All right. We have a quorum. We have a shark tank. Yeah. All right, we have a quorum. We have a shark tank.

Yeah. But I love the idea that the person behind you benefits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that every row has a lady with a hat. Yes. And then everybody gets to dip into the hat. Or men can wear the hats too. That's true.

It could also have cup holders on it for the people to put their cups. Yeah. There'd be a real strain on the old neck of this. I'm picturing an old lady with a giant Sunday bonnet kind of deal. And I'm getting a gallon of milk and putting it in the cup holder. Yeah. Well, maybe it's the gentleman could wear the cup holder hats, but since they have those already for men. That's true.

Only for men. Oh, I guess so. The beer hat, the beer helmet. Yeah. But now they're for the people behind's true. Only for men. Oh, I guess so. The, the beer, the beer hat, the beer helmet. Yeah. But now they're for the people behind that guy. Yeah.

But the straw, is there a straw? So everyone has said, boy, girl, boy, girl. And then you, you sit,

it's just an arrangement. The entire stadium agrees to. Yeah. Is that they will sit boy, girl, boy, girl. Then we get into non-binary people.

Then what do you do? Yeah, yeah. I mean, they choose. I love this idea. But they have to. It's flawless. It's flawless. And great.

And fun. And most important, fun. Yeah. When you're buying, going to Ticketmaster or whatever, you have to say Mr. or Mrs.

on your credit card. So let's put it to use. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's make the to use. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's make the construct of gender work for us. For once.

And if you say doctor, let's assume you're a woman. Yes. Make that the assumption. And you could also wear some kind of fancy doctor hat. You know? Yeah. Why don't doctors have their own hat? They did have that eye thing.

Yeah. That weird little reflecto. A mirror. What was that for? To freak you out. Reflect light into your mouth. Yeah.

And only your mouth. I think it was before they had those little little guy. Yeah. Lighters. Cigarette lighters. Yeah.

Little cigarette lighters. Big lighters. Disposables. That would be scary if a doctor came in and was just flipping a like a Zippo.

I need to look at your mouth. A flip-o Zippo? Lights a match. Just doing lighter tricks while they're asking questions.

Butterfly knife? I remember one of the first apps I had. Would you feel confident if your doctor was doing butterfly knife stuff? If they did it well. Yeah you feel confident if your doctor was doing Butterfly Night?

If they did it well. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if he was like, ah, fuck. Or if they did the... Mumbly Peg. Mumbly Peg. Yeah.

One of the first... Miss Red Dead Redemption. Away from it for two days. Are you playing it to this day? I can't stop playing it. For months and months. Yeah. Since it came out.

Yeah. I can't stop. It's a vast game. Yeah. There game yeah there's a lot you can do a lot there's a lot to do what's your character's name arthur morgan is that the same character as everyone's the main guy oh you don't get to design there's an online version which apparently is where racists go to hang out. Yeah. Hot dog. Yeah. They're like, I'm just being true to the spirit of the historical time. Everything gets ruined. Oh boy. Oh boy. I'm sorry.

I cut you off many times. Oh, I don't remember what we were talking about. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. The first app, I was going to say the first app I ever had on my phone was the Zippo app. And it was just,

it was just because your phone would recognize that it was being moved. The one thing I miss about smoking is the accessories. You could still. I kept a lighter. I still have a Zippo lighter that I kept. Yeah, me too.

This is in a drawer. Do you fill it with butane or whatever? I haven't in a while. but I could if I wanted to. I have a little cooking torch. That's fun. That's fun. I fill it with gas sometimes. You got a little holster.

You wear it around. We have fireplace lighters. Those are fun. Are those the long ones? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's ones that are shaped like a match. Have you ever seen those that are lighter? I have seen Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's ones that are shaped like a match.

Have you ever seen those that are lighter? Those are fun. I have seen those, yeah. Okay, do we want to move on to some business? Yeah, absolutely. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, my goodness. You know what that sound means?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How you doing? Zip Recruiter. No. Now, hiring, you know this is it's challenging but there's one place you can go where hiring is simple fast and smart that place one is my name and the other's the thing yeah uhRecruiter sends your jobs to over 100 of the web's leading job boards, but they don't stop there. No, they don't.

They refuse to stop. They look at the stop sign and they go right through. With their powerful matching technology, ZipRecruiter scans thousands of resumes to find people with the right experience and invite them to apply to your job. Here's your invitation to this job application with the crew. And right now, our listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at this exclusive web address, ZipRecruiter.com slash S-T-O-P. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash S-T-O-P. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Take us away, ZipRecruiter.com slash S-T-O-P. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire.

Take us away, ZipRecruiter. It's the smartest way to hire. Use your brain. or content with in-studio guests and callers from all over the world. And you can win a custom magnet. A custom magnet. Subscribe now to make sure you get our next episode. What's an example of a game, Manolo? Pokemon or medication. How do you play that?

You have to guess if something's a Pokemon name or medication. First time listener, if you want to listen to episode highlights and also know how to participate, follow Dr. Game Show on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. We'd love to hear from you. Yeah, it's really fun. For the whole family. We'll be every other Wednesday

starting March 13th and we're coming to MaxFun. Snorlax. Pokemon? Yes. Nice. Overheard. Overheard.

The segment. Overheard. The segment. Oh, you do it. No, no, no. No, no, no. I'll do it. Overheard. Overheard's a segment. Overheard's a segment. Oh, you do it. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, Paul, do it. Overheard's a segment where we overhear things, we make note of them, we share them later, and we invite others to do the same.

That was as good as it's ever been done. Paul, we always like when the guest leads the charge. Would you? Would you please? Leads the charge. Would you? Would you please? Leads the charge. Be brave, warhorses. Here I come with an overheard. This was today at the airport.

This happened at LAX, the airport. I was waiting. I was waiting in line to pay for some food that I purchased. Your airport hot dog. My Your hot dog Your airport hot dog My airport hot dog Best hot dogs in the world Best taco bowls in the world They call them plain longs

I love them You don't put any Condiments on them Because those are Considered liquids Can't take a picture Exactly You see all these people

Holding hot dogs Walking around the airport Saying Oh I don't want to eat it Until I get in my seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a nude hot dog. Okay, so there's this woman with obviously her little daughter.

They're in line ahead of me. The little girl says, where's daddy? The mom says, he had to get his wallet. And the little girl laughs. And mom says, yes, he's silly. Then the dad shows up and the mom says to the dad, are you finished? Is that the extent of your little shenanigans? Whoa.

Yikes. Yeah. Oh no. I thought this guy's probably having a hard time. Yeah. Well, you left his wallet somewhere. So they, I don't know I thought this guy's probably having a hard time yeah well he left his wallet somewhere so I don't know

but or maybe the mom was lying so the dad could go you know take a picture of a celebrity yeah

here's what I'm thinking he's up to actual shenanigans oh oh I saw Ahmad Rashad I gotta go take his picture Ahmad Rashad if our daughter asks said i'm gonna say i'm just finding my wallet

so this guy was up to legitimate shenanigans yeah maybe he was stealing wallets he's a pickpocket oh man you've gotta You've got to pick a pocket. You've got to pick a pocket or two. What? Yeah. My limit is one. I'm in recovery. Is that still a thing that happens? Pickpocketing? Yeah.

Of course it is. I'm just... Have you seen... Why would it stop? Have you seen me put my wallet in my front pocket sometimes? I mean, only when I come over. I'm a front pocket guy all the way. Oh, really?

Always. Oh, I'm a back pocket guy all the way. Oh, really? Always. Oh, I'm a back pocket guy. That's why mine is all effed. Have you seen this commercial for, uh oh,

it's a commercial for canes. It's a new kind of cane where they, it's like one of those commercials where they

try to, they try to tell you that the, the current way is a problem and it has been for a long time, but there has to be a better way. There has to be. This ain't your grandpa's cane. No, it is now.

So the, the idea is that, uh, canes, they make you stoop over. Yeah. They interfere with your line of vision because they have, like, there's the old cane

and the new cane side by side, same person, right? Before and after. And so in the old way, you are not only hunched over to meet the cane, but you're also looking down at the ground where the cane is. That's how people walk with canes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The new way is it's almost like a hiking staff where you grip it.

Like a wizard. Like a wizard. Cool. Like a wizard, Harry. Yeah. And so you are, somehow you're still leaning on it, but now you can see forward and you're not all hunched over. New cane.

Yeah, new cane. They. New cane. Yeah. New cane. They finally did it. Yeah. Have you, it's like when golfers have those tall putters. What? I haven't seen those.

Oh yeah. They come up to your chin and they do like a, that seems like cheating. It is. Uh, I think they're illegal now. Oh, they should be.

Yeah. Hmm. But you know what? You make them illegal. That just pushes them underground. Yeah. now. They should be. But you know what? You make them illegal, that just pushes them underground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. And also, your golf bag has just one thing that's a foot higher than everything else.

One tall putter rides away. Yeah. There, I did it. Go ahead and shoot your neighbor. Shoot him? No, don't. Don't shoot him. Dave, do you have a number? I have a little bicycle.

Mine is a... Something my child said. I guess so. The day we went sledding... You didn't prompt her to say it. Okay, well then it counts. The day we went sledding, I did't prompt her to say it. No. Okay, well then it counts. The day we went sledding, we, well she, I did

write it down for her to say. Give her a little script. She can't read, so it still counts. She didn't say the thing I wrote down. She, uh, the day we went sledding, we came home, we made a snowman. Oh, thank God.

We made methamphetamine. No, we made a snowman. Oh, thank God. We made methamphetamine. No, we made a snowman and it was wonderful. Three big balls. Well, one ball, one slightly smaller ball, and then the smallest ball. Classic design. Carrot. Abby had been saving a carrot for dinner, but nope.

No. Wait, that was just what you were going to eat? Was that a carrot? Yeah, they were having like a Mickey Mouse style dinner. We've been having, we're... Yes, we've been... She sliced up a bit of a bean. A carrot a night.

We're on the South Beach diet. Peter Rabbit version. Anyway. No, we've been doing a bad job of meal planning lately. Last week, Abby was like, Monday. Something. Bunch of carrots.

Tuesday, a loaf of bread. We've been spending... She just does food you can draw. Food she's going to get on top of this planning. She can't write out the food, so she does whatever's easiest to draw. Wednesday, ice cream cone. No ice cream. Yeah.

Slice of pie. So one day it was going to be something that involved carrots and rude vegetables and a thing. Anyway, so I took the carrot, shoved it in the face of it. Yeah. Take that. A little rock smile. Eyes? a thing. Uh, anyway, so I took the carrot, shoved it in the face of it. Yeah. Take that. A little rock smile. Uh,

eyes, eyes, rock eyes, rock eyes, twig arms and twig hair. Oh, hair, hair.

Nice. And then, uh, a couple of days ago, uh, started getting warmer and raining and it all fell onto the ground. It all tumbled down the one across the street was great, it was leaned over someone had built a snowman and the head

was just like about to tip over for like six hours but ours fell over and Margot just walked by the window the other day and said oh, snowman's dead oh, yeah I mean he is

yeah he's dead he's not gonna begin to dance around he won't even begin put the hat on it would just turn into blood

oh if you if you put the hat on a dead snowman on a dead snowman like what he began to

bleed out he just screams he just will not stop screaming he tries to dance my legs are broken this is first instinct always is to dance oh sad he comes from such a of musical people yeah he's a showman yeah yes the greatest some might say have you seen that movie no No. Oh, come on. He wears a top hat. I heard.

Oh, you saw it. I like it. No. I'm a big Hugh Jackman fan. I like that guy. Are you going to go see him at the Bowl? I would. He's doing two shows. I should investigate that.

I should investigate that. I would go see him at the Bowl. Do you know how I know that? I listen to podcasts. Does he have a podcast? Yeah, he does. Australia cast. Yeah, I think he's extremely talented, and I really like him as an actor.

I was interested in seeing that movie because I find P.T. Barnum a subject of interest as well. But then I heard some of those songs, and they sounded not good. And I couldn't do it. Why don't you go to one of the sing-along screenings? Now, wouldn't that be more of the songs? Yeah, but the people around you are singing them. Are they wearing nacho hats? They might be.

Well, maybe not. They might be. Let's not rule it out. I need something a little more concrete before I sign up for this. They're wearing nacho top hats. That works because there's so much room in a top hat

above the head. Oh, sure. You could have a really deep bowl. Yeah. Six layers deep. Yeah. Somebody's wearing like a stovepipe hat? Yeah. Oh my god. Can't see the game, but who cares? You could put a bunch of ice and some beers in there. Abe Lincoln might still be alive

if he was wearing that hat. Yeah. Have you seen that fucking Lincoln commercial? No. Is it for Lincoln cars? It's not. Yes. It's not good. Wait, is it Matthew McConaughey?

No. No. This commercial makes those commercials make sense. Okay. So Abraham Lincoln, the famous one. Yeah, yeah. The 16th. He's sitting in his study.

He's probably working on some speech. He's got a bunch of envelopes he's writing on. He gets a birthday gift and he opens it up and it's a Lincoln key fob. And he like picks it up and then he presses it and he hears this noise or see some lights. And he hears this noise or see some lights. And so he goes to the window and there's a brand new, like Lincoln navigator sitting in his driveway. Sure. In front of his old fashion day Lincoln house.

And it's from, it's from the Lincoln automobile company. They were like, Hey, Mr. President, thank you for being our namesake or whatever. We've mastered time travel.

And then you hear him say, Mary, get your coat. And she's running through the house raving. Yeah, she's out of her mind. But she puts on her own straight jacket. That's what he means by straight jacket. Then they go, they drive to the theater. He puts on his not-so-stovepipe hat. Yeah.

And he says, we probably won't be long. I don't like plays. We're going to stay for one, maybe two acts. You hear a bang inside the theater. The valet looks at the key fob. He shrugs. And he goes, gets in the key fob and drives away. Wow.

Picks up Matthew McConaughey Who's hitchhiking Oh shit He says Hey can you take me To the 21st century Come back around And he says Sure I was headed that way anyway

The valet Is like He's got one car To park that night That's right That's pretty good That's pretty good Did we do yours

No Okay No Mine is It was from the hockey game That's right. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Did we do yours? No. Okay. No. Mine was from the hockey game. Is it good when I'm on the show or is it not good? It's the best. Yeah, we love it. There's always a moment where I feel like I am talking at the wrong times and making you guys mad or uncomfortable.

No. It's my face. I always feel like there's a lot of... Okay, we'll get back on track now. People like going off, but people need these threads tied up. Yes, as a listener, I understand that. Yeah, of course. Mine was from the hockey game.

And sometimes people will wear a jersey that's been autographed, but it's usually just the signature. Right. And I passed by a lady that said, Best wishes, Judy. Trevor Linden. Oh, well. That's good for him.

But I just have never seen one that's been personally addressed. You can't sell that. You can't sell that jersey now. No, that's true. Except to somebody named Judy. Best wishes is a weird thing to say. Yeah. We just agree that it's a nicety.

But when you break it down, it's a strange thing to say to someone. Yeah. These are my very best wishes. I have nothing but the best wishes for you. Yeah, but. Whatever it is you got going on. The moment you walk away, I will forget you. Yeah, for sure.

Guaranteed. Like, I have the best wishes for you. Good luck with everything. Yes. I hope to never see you again. I don't want to follow up. Hey, thanks for wishing me best wishes. It came true.

Wow, Trevor Linden has that power. That would be nice if Judy were to run into Trevor Linden again and say, Trevor, all of your best wishes for me have been realized. Also, I had a great summer. I stayed sweet. Yeah. That's whenever I run into people from high school. Now, okay. So we're both from English speaking countries.

We share a continent. So we have those same yearbook things. What about in the UK? Do they have the same in Australia? Do they have C in the lift? Yeah. I enjoyed sevenths. Fun being in that lorry with you.

Let's eat some crisps this summer. Let's eat our weight in metric crisps. Let's eat our weight in metric crisps. Let's eat our weight in aluminum, which is spelled normally, but we know you're pronouncing it weird. Hey, remember when you ate that aubergine? These are fun things. Yeah, what do you think is different in England? Stay as treacly as you are. Now, we also have overheard sent in from people.

All over the land. No, this has always been. What? Paul, are you just learning this now? No, this has always been part of the show. I don't know about that, but go ahead. Okay. You know what?

Maybe the first 20 episodes, it wasn't part of the show. That's all I've listened to. That's when we were at our best. Now, if you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. Do you ever go back and listen? I have. I've gone back and listen? Um, I have, I've gone back and listened to like somewhere in the early fifties and,

uh, our voices are weird. So then I, I don't know. They just are. Um, uh, this first one is from Brit.

Brit. B R Y double T. Whoa. Right. Uh, was in the grocery store today. There was a woman with two children, I'll guess five and four years old. The younger one yelled out, hummus, how dare you? And then they both started to chant, throw it away.

Throw it away. the nerve yeah it's how dare you like you think like hey five-year-old we know you're not gonna eat it can i yeah can i bring hummus into my life throw it away throw it away we know you're just gonna have chicken fingers every day for the next seven years. Yeah. Yeah. Just, I don't know. But hummus is just, it's hard for a kid to wrap their head around, I guess. I did an episode of my podcast, my previous podcast.

Oh. And his ex podcast. My ex podcast. I don't want to get into it. But one of my guests brought her little daughter. Just a little kid, few years old. That's all. She had her little lunch of chicken fingers.

And I invited her to say something on the show. She said the word poopy. I heard it. Classic. I, steam was coming out of my ears. She repeated it a couple of falls the headmaster and i of course i'm wearing a mortarboard a long black gown i i said how would you like if i took a bite of one of your chicken fingers and and i did and she did not like no i could tell. It was very weird because she was handling it in a very adult way of like on her face was like, that was not cool that you did that.

But I'm not going to say anything. And also I've never finished a meal in my life. That's right. But I don't like the idea of you having any of my food. Yeah. Even though this will mostly go in the trash. I wanted to be the person that oversees that trash. But she was shocked.

She was shocked that I did that. It was a real breach of ethics. In the adult little kid world. Didn't you bring your own carrot sticks? This next one comes from Paul in Seattle. It's me. No. I'm not there. I'm here. You've written us from Seattle from time to time. Sure. Every time I from Paul in Seattle. It's me. No. No. It's not. I'm not there.

I'm here. But you've written us from Seattle from time to time. Sure. Every time I've gone to Seattle. Whenever you're sleepless. You go to the top of the Empire State Building. I remember so little of that food. No, but they're all tracked.

Yeah, that's enough. That's enough to remember. It's an affair to do so with. I overheard a ski instructor saying to one of her young students, I'm from Belgium. Do you know what the capital of Belgium is? First student. Waffles? Burn. A little later,

the teacher said, do you still not know the capital of Belgium? It starts with a B. Short pause from the same student. Banana waffles. Boom! You walked right into that one, stupid teacher. You knew that another waffle thing was coming.

Can I do a little punch up on that? Yeah, please. I would have said baffles. I would have said Belgian waffles. I like baffles. You know what? I'm not even going to say a word. Baffles.

Yeah. Is it Brussels? It is Brussels. It's not Bruges. Some stuff went down in Bruges. Is that right? Yeah. I enjoyed that movie.

Yeah. I was surprised. I didn't expect to like it, but I did. I'm an interesting guy. Yeah. Isn't that interesting? How about that? Yeah.

How about that with Paula? How about that? Yeah. How about that with Paula? How about that? This last one comes from Kevin K. From right here in Vancouver. A few days ago, I was walking on Hastings near Commercial Drive and saw a woman sitting in a bus shelter eating what I thought was an ice cream sandwich. Oh, no. The charm of seeing someone eating ice cream in winter quickly turned into confusion as I got closer and saw she was nonchalantly eating a full stick of Philadelphia cream cheese from the foil wrapper.

So. So you thought it was like a Klondike bar situation. Yeah. And it just turned out to be what you would do for a Klondike bar. Yeah. You'd eat a thing of Philadelphia cream cheese. In a bus shelter. Paul's hometown cream cheese.

Yeah. That's right. That's our hometown cream cheese. Vancouver cream cheese. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Every town has their own cream cheese. Yeah.

Yeah. I, as was pointed out to me many times, because I made some joke about Philadelphia cream cheese, it's not from Philadelphia. No? It's nothing new to Philadelphia. San Francisco? That's cheese. It's not from Philadelphia. There's nothing new with Philadelphia. San Francisco? That's right, Cerrone. Oh, damn it. In addition to overheards that are

written in, we also expect and accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is a real shenanigan would have been to take that away. Oh, I know. Do you still have to look at it? one eight four four seven seven nine seven six three one is the phone number or one ugh spy pod one like these people help hi dave hi graham hi radiant guest this is luke from seattle probably a little overheard

uh my neighbor across the street was talking about a movie she's done and she described it as that one with Frankenstein and the pony and she was talking about Shrek Frankenstein and the pony oh no goodbye just hung up. Yeah.

Oh, boy. Oh, Frankenstein and the pony. I mean, would you have gotten it? No. I don't know. I don't know if I would have gotten it. Frankenstein and the pony. When someone's describing a movie, it's hard for my mind to go to animate it.

If that was all they said, I don't think I would have gotten it. They give me a little more context. If they'd said it was a cartoon, maybe my mind would have gone there. It's Kate Beckinsale. And Scott Speedman. Yeah, I don't, because I would have just got hung up on the Frankenstein part. Yeah. And I just would never have made that.

He's very specific. Was there a, did they do like a cool, like, cause they were doing Draculas and, or vampires and Wolfman. They were doing a vampire, Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter. Yeah. Did they do a cool Frankenstein thing? Uh, there was a movie where it was Van Helsing and one of the Frankenstein. Yeah. He was, he was a cool Frankenstein thing? There was a movie where it was Van Helsing and one of the Frankenstein. He was a cool Frankenstein.

He was a cool Frankenstein. He smoked. Yeah. You could see the smoke come out of where the stitches are. He had tattoos. He had bolts. Well, he always has bolts. Yeah, he always.

Look, that's a constant. He had bolts, but he also had those gauges you put in your ears. And Dirk looks like he has bolts on the top of his head. A little bit. Those little. Yeah. Diamonds on the shoulders or whatever. Do you think bolts would catch on as a, like a new body mod?

Literally catch. As you were putting on your shirt every morning. I bet that's why they wouldn't catch on. Yeah. Because it would be too much of a hassle. I think here's a great commercial idea. Frankenstein. It's a commercial for air buds.

Okay. Air pods? Yeah. It should be called air buds. Yeah. But Frankenstein is tired of getting his ear buds caught. Oh, caught on that. Pretty good.

Because that is annoying. Yeah. Especially if you've been reanimated. Well, like, for me, it's... Sorry. It's, like, I get them caught on the... When I'm, like, loading the dishwasher, they just get caught on some of the innards of the dishwasher

and yanked out so violently i'm not even doing anything violent yeah yeah that's until they get yanked out it's an extremely jarring thing that being said do not want to wear the airpods i have those but i'll only wear them in the house because they're dumb they look dumb i just know i don't have the money to spend on uh no apple ear piece has ever fit my ear they always fall out true yeah any any whenever they when they change the shape and i was like oh this time they'll be better nope they all like i feel like i want to apply that sort of grittiness of shingles to them so they will stay in my ear. Well, don't just dream it. I want to get shingle paint.

Yeah. Get some shingle paint. Shingle paint. And just ruin the inside of your ears. Rubber wouldn't work for me. Do you think that your ear canal is too shallow? Is that what the problem is? I mean, it really is only interested in people's boobs.

This guy. I know. He's a rascal. Absolutely. He's being a rascal right now. Here's your next phone call. Hey, this is Ian calling in from Chicago with an overheard. Me and my friend

just went out to a bar, and I went to the bathroom, and I was just listening to people, and someone says, no, no, you're stepmom material. And I have not stopped thinking about it for the last

two hours. You're stepmom material. Yeah, those kids would be lucky to have you as a stepmom material. Yeah. Those kids would be lucky to have you as a stepmom. Yeah. What bathroom was he in? The co-ed one. Was it the one

from Ally McBeal? I went to this bar called Ally McBeal's. Vaughn DeShepard plays. Does sound like a bar name. I mean, it's going to be. It does sound like a bar name. Ally McBeal, yeah.

Is it going to, there's going to be an Ally McBeal retro pop-up. Do you think? I mean, they did a Saved by the Bell. I know,

but that was a restaurant. Saved by the Beal. They didn't do the classroom. Oh, I think part of it is they didn't have like a classroom set. You could go into and take pictures. Oh, sure.

Yeah. But like, they're not going to do the law firm. They're going to do the Vonda Shepard show. I wonder. In the bathroom where everyone. What about the Regal Beagle from Three's Company? Did we ever see that place or was it always meant?

Oh, no, we saw it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about the bar from Murphy Brown where everyone always yelled to close the door? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's a thing. It's a fun gag.

Yeah. Fun gag. Definitely had legs. From the world. This That's a fun gag. Yeah, fun gag. Definitely had legs. From the world. This will be funny every time. Here you go, matey. Hello, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is a bit of a drunk style, also overseen just telling my husband about um an overseen that i had at the gym the other day where

i was um working out and you know listening to my music and whatever. And then I always Heather from Ottawa. Heather B from Ottawa. So I was working out at the gym. And I was just like... Oh! Oh! Can't even get through it.

Can't even get through it. Okay. Hold on. I was watching that. And the guy to the left of me was on a recumbent bike working out as well. And when I looked over at him, he was watching Frasier. I was like, you guys would love that because, well, you guys love Frasier and stuff.

So anyway, off I go. The intensity. Just laughing and cycling. Cycling and laughing. Oh but the fact that it made her laugh so much that hours later she was i would go to a uh coffee shop from frazier oh i Oh, I thought you were going to say a Frasier themed gym. A what? A Frasier themed gym. Frasier themed gym.

It looks like a living room set. Right? You do sit-ups on the chair. I'm lifting. Yeah. I'm lifting! Nice. That's really good. Paul, you can take your headphones off. Oh, thank God.

What a prison. Head prison. Paul. Yeah. That brings us to the end of the show. Oh, come on. It's been fun though. Hasn't it?

Stay. Didn't we make some memories? Yeah. I had a grand time as I always do. I all, we always record around this time. There's no always about it. We don't,

we've never done an early morning. No, we've never done it. We did once do after your show at like a midnight. Oh yeah. That's right. Do we do that in your studio or do we do it like in my hotel? No,

no, no. And in my old house. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I sort of remember that. It had a real sleepover energy.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. And we did once at three o'clock in a hotel. In a hotel conference room. Yes, in Los Angeles. Wait, in a conference room? That was the first time was in a, that you were on the show.

The live episode. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. And we did it once at, uh, you know, five o'clock at the, at a movie theater in Toronto.

That's right. But it's, here's why I say this because I always end up very hungry. Right. Yeah. When we finish, it's always around dinner time. Yeah.

Yeah. What time is it now? It's seven 30. Yeah. What time to eat? What time is it? Your time? My time.

It's like seven 30. That's dinner time, man. Fuck man. Yeah. What time is it your time? My time it's like 7.30. That's dinner time man. Oh boy so you must be in ketosis. I'm going to have a hungry man dinner and I'm going to have some Campbell's chunky soup. Yeah. Man soup. In your hotel room they have

do they have a microwave? Yeah they have a hot plate. Oh they got a hot plate. They got sternum. Hot plate and sternum. Campfire. There's like Do they have a microwave? Yeah, they have a hot plate. Okay. Oh, they got a hot plate. Yeah, Sternome. Oh, sure. Well, I was going to say. Hot plate and Sternome. Yeah, a campfire. There's like. All sorts of ways to eat up your beans.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. And free beans. Is there anything you'd like to plug? You know, Bojack Horseman. Yeah. We're recording we're, we're recording the new season now.

I guess you can look for that in the late summer, early fall. Um, the next season, season six, I believe. Um, and then it live shows.

If, uh, if you're going to be in Los Angeles on either the third Tuesday of any month or the last Wednesday of any month, uh, on Tuesdays, we will do, uh, the bajillionaires. That's me and the cast of bajillion dollar properties doing an improv show at UCB Franklin. And on the last Wednesday of every month, uh, work juice improv with my friends from the thrilling venture hour that do improv. We do an improv show, a dynasty Typewriter the last Wednesday of every month. Fun. You can go to paulftompkins.com slash live to see what all those shows are.

It's pretty good. Yeah, I like it. It's pretty good. Yeah. It's a great plug. Yeah, you Google it. This guy can plug. Oh, man.

This guy plugs. Oh, this guy plugs. Graham, what about you? Nothing. Nothing to plug. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you have a regular show about you? Nothing. Nothing to plug. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you have a regular show that you do?

I do every Monday at the Havana. Why don't you plug it? Yeah, plug it. Just did. You guys don't even notice. I just did. You son of a... You're being a rascal now.

That's true. I've taken the mantle over and I love it. Dave, when are you getting back into stand-up? You know what? That's a great question and it's true. I've taken the mantle over and I love it. Dave, when are you getting back into stand-up? You know what? That's a great question and it's great to encourage people to do stand-up when they don't want to. Great to encourage people to do the thing that you like them to do. I don't know that I was encouraging. No, I know.

I'm just saying in general In gen People will You know everyone's got their own path Do you still get people asking you Even though No no At this point people are like

No more standing You know you're gonna come do a No You and I both know I'm not Yeah Yeah Leave him alone everybody He's fine

Graham you're still out there man I'm out there doing One dude One microphone The way it's supposed to be Paul do you still do stand up I haven't in quite some time When are you gonna

I don't know I want to get back into it But I don't know what I want my stand up to be Right Yeah it's a strange time It's a strange time Can I

Do you want me to Pitch me. Send you some jokes? Please. I accept fan submissions. I'm like Star Trek. Yeah. You can send in...

Send me an hour of material. What if, like, if you have a funny tweet, you like people to punch it up, though? Yeah. Oh, what? That's the only reason I tweet. It's like, here's an idea I had. What are your ideas yeah

give me a hundred is there a way you could paraphrase this where it's the same idea i had a person outside of a supermarket like people the people with the clipboards you know and uh this young woman said sir i know I know you want to hear about our planet. And I was like, no, thank you. And I got out of the car and I tweeted this, said, I wish I had investigated that. And then somebody tweeted back to me like, see, in my mind, that person was an alien and they were not talking about the planet Earth. I was like, yeah, in my mind too. Where did you

think I was going with that? So, keep it coming, guys. Thank you, all of you out there for listening to the show. No, no, no. It's not great. Good riff. No one no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, international yeah but tweet him don't limit it to one country tweet him unfollow

tweet me that you're unfollowing me yes all day long um I'm sorry why like drag twitter into this that's fine

twitter knows twitter's fine twitter knows what it's okay Graham was three words away from ending the show I know thank you all

for listening this is what I bring if you like the show please tell your friends Thank you all for listening. This is what I bring. If you like the show, please tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself! Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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