Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 572 - Angie St. Mars

Episode Date: March 4, 2019

Comedian Angie St. Mars joins us to talk bedtime routines, barf bags, and John Wayne....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 572 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who he sends all of his kids work to a museum somewhere in the sky. Mr. Dave Shumka. I was telling you before the show that because there was a big piece of paper out where my kids were just drawing.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Yeah. And I tell them when it gets full, oh, we got to go send this to the museum. I love that. It's the best thing I've heard all day. And, you know, a museum is where you find it. Yeah. Have you made a, is it in a city or is it?
Starting point is 00:01:04 No, they don't need it. They're never gonna, they're never gonna hunt down that it's the, uh, kids museum for excellence in Chicago. No, which it is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Which it is. Absolutely. I mean, truly I, of course I send my kids stuff to a real museum. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:20 It's not like when all parents do. Yeah. Just, and I sent their puppy to that farm upstate. And it's doing great. You're in trouble when they want to go upstate as soon as they get old enough. Yeah. We could visit our paintings.
Starting point is 00:01:35 We could see our puppies. Yeah. Oh, man. Upstate's got everything. When they realize, oh, we don't even live in a state. And that voice you hear That's our guest today A very funny comedian First time guest to the podcast
Starting point is 00:01:49 She hosts a monthly show In Winnipeg, Manitoba At Wee Johnny's called Weenie Rose It's Angie St. Marth Hey Hello Hey Thanks for joining us
Starting point is 00:02:00 Thanks for having me Oh, it's a pleasure It's a treat It's a real treat My whole trip so far It's a real treat. My whole trip so far has been a real treat. Yeah? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:09 First time to Vancouver? No, but the last time I stayed in North Vancouver, so I felt really far away from everything. It was gorgeous, but this time I stayed closer to downtown in different areas. Where stuff's happening. Yeah, it's like a different feel for sure. Yeah. It's been great. Everyone's so nice to me wherever I go
Starting point is 00:02:27 why I don't know what is it about you I don't know if they can tell him I don't know you guys I was hoping you guys
Starting point is 00:02:34 could tell me you were nice you invited me on the podcast yeah that's right we were pretty nice you were pretty nice what's going on I didn't invite you
Starting point is 00:02:40 I'm not rich I don't oh no yeah it's that I thought you were rich oh yeah all the time my purse is a sack with a dollar sign I didn't invite you. I'm not rich. I don't. Oh, no. Yeah, it's that I thought you were rich. I thought you were rich. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:45 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:03 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:03 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. money and she's ready to croak anytime so we gotta get in there is what i said do you want to get to know us oh yes get to know us have you spent any time in north van dave uh no no i mean i've been it's this weird uh in vancouver like it's across the water and it's it's a great view of the city when you're there but it's there's nothing there's no reason to go there unless you live there yeah absolutely there's no thing over there that's like well we're going to north van for the yeah i mean the market or yeah i've been to the petting zoo oh yeah that's right there's a petting zoo over there oh it's hard to have one in the city.
Starting point is 00:03:45 I don't know. There's so many cute dogs, friendly dogs everywhere. It's kind of like a petting zoo wherever you go here. Are dogs being friendly to you, too? Yeah. Dogs are being so friendly. Where are you from? What dogs are mean to you?
Starting point is 00:03:57 They're usually nice. They're just like, I was walking here, and I saw a big curly dog, and I said, hello, and I waved at it, and it jumped up and it like licked me on the cheek. Oh, that's nice. Like licked me. It gave me soft teeth though, to tell you the truth. It was like a soft teeth. I guess maybe more it tried to bite me on the.
Starting point is 00:04:17 It gave you a nibble. So you're from Winnipeg? I'm from Winnipeg. How cold is it there? I didn't check today, but it's been like 30 below. But like how cold is that? It's very cold. It's a dry cold, but it's like.
Starting point is 00:04:32 Oh, yeah. That works. You got to cover your skin up, all of it, or else it's bad news. Or you lose it. Yeah. Is it like a real lotion-y? Do you use a lot of lotions? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Yeah, and your eyes are dry all the time from the heat. So what's like, because people wear balaclavas in Winnipeg. That's like the only time that I've ever seen somebody just walking down the street in a balaclava. It's very alarming. But people here wear those like hospital masks down the street. And to tell you the truth, that's a little scary for me. Yeah. It's scary for us too.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Like a Batman villain or something. Yeah, it's either they're hiding something or they're sick. A bad cold, yeah. Or they don't want to get sick. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder what's the proportion. Because I, yeah, I think we're not far from everyone wearing them. What do you mean by hiding something?
Starting point is 00:05:26 I don't know, jagged scars, some kind of janky teeth. Yeah, why so serious? Like if you're trying to grow a beard, but it's in between stages. It's in that weird, yeah. You can wear one of those for a while. So in Winnipeg, and when it's so cold, you were talking about meeting dogs here. What do people do with their dogs when it's minus 30? Well, some dogs love it
Starting point is 00:05:45 because some like husky type dogs. We've got a St. Bernard that lives down the street from us. Does he have a little keg on his neck? No.
Starting point is 00:05:52 I've been wanting to see. He doesn't have a little keg. His nickname is Mr. Chill. His owners let us know. What's his legal name? Alec. Alec the dog. Alec Mr. Chill.
Starting point is 00:06:05 So he's fine plodding along. Other dogs, they bundle them up, you know, in little dog coats and dog boots. I've seen some of those over here. Yeah. I saw a dog the other night over here wearing like long underwear pajama type thing. It had little rocket ships all over it, like little baby boy pajamas. That's pretty adorable. It was really cute.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Was it nighttime? Yeah, it was nighttime. He was about to go to bed. They were out of the neighbors too late, so they put his pajamas on there. That's a great plan. He falls asleep in the car. You got to carry him in.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Oh, I wish I had a dog. Oh, I do. But yeah, here it's just like we get, you know, it's cold for two weeks. Yeah. And the dogs don't like it getting salt on their hands. Yeah, but it's not like, it's not this survival cold. Do you grow up in Winnipeg? I did, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Born and raised. Born and raised. Yeah, so. So are you even phased by it? I am. I mean, it gets that cold and you're phased by it. I think maybe it's almost worse when you don't notice how cold it is. Like you take for granted that your whole lifestyle and the way you feel and everything is going to change for a few months.
Starting point is 00:07:27 And so it's kind of like maybe you don't notice and all of a sudden you're like, I'm so unhappy. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to see my friends. I just want to bang on these drums all day. Absolutely. That's how we get the heat in Winnipeg. No, it's like, yeah, I mean, you get used to it as much as you can, but it is weird to operate and have everything go, like life goes on completely.
Starting point is 00:07:54 You still have to get up and catch the bus and go to work when it's like 35 below. And your bus might not come because it's Winnipeg. Yeah. It's actually dangerous. And you don't get any extra kudos like, good for you, you came into work today. No, I think we should be able to take snow days. Like the whole city should be able to take snow days
Starting point is 00:08:11 when it's that cold. Yeah. And that we should get paid still. That's tough. Yeah. I think, no, I think that we should. I think that. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:21 And this is part of your platform for me? Yeah. I think that other cities should pay us to take the snow day right because you guys don't want any more people here do you
Starting point is 00:08:31 well that's true like it's a levy on not having more people okay but if one person shows up here yeah
Starting point is 00:08:37 the deal's off the deal's off okay I feel like if you were like to Toronto like okay either you pay us
Starting point is 00:08:43 to stay home or Winnipeg's moving in yeah they would say no I was gonna say you were like to Toronto, like, okay, either you pay us to stay home or Winnipeg's moving in. Yeah. They would say no. I was going to say, like, you talk to your people. I'll talk to my people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:52 But moving from Winnipeg to Toronto, it's still very cold in Toronto. I've never been in the winter. It's cold. Okay. They may act like it's not cold, but baby, it's cold outside. Are you allowed to say that on the radio? Oh, yeah. No, yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:09:09 It was controversial this year. Well, that's why we're not on the radio. They kicked us off the radio for saying, baby, it's cold outside. Graham insists on saying, baby, it's cold outside. Once an episode. Yeah. My rebellious. Graham was like, can I say this on the radio?
Starting point is 00:09:26 And they were like, you really can't stay. Does that quite work? No, I think it quite works. Who cares to be had out there? Do you have Uber in Winnipeg? No.
Starting point is 00:09:42 You have something like it. We have something called Tapcar. Okay, so there's something. Yeah, something. It's not as big as Uber, like I noticed in Toronto. Tapcar's not as big as Uber? Yeah, it's a little useless, but the cab companies are also really bad in Winnipeg. There's days where if it's a busy New Year's Eve or something, there's no way you're getting a cab.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Right, yeah. No cabs to be had out there. I just said it. Yeah. They pick up, they'll hang up on you. They'll pick it up and then hang up. Oh, really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:19 That's impressive. Frank calling you? For me, anyways. Yeah. Don't like the sound of this voice. Click. Yeah. Don't like the sound of this voice. Click. Yeah. It's, if it was freezing cold here, like it is in Winnipeg, I would go on a hunger strike
Starting point is 00:10:34 until they got Uber here. Like, if it wasn't, like, I guess I could just walk the 10 or 12 blocks or whatever. I would settle for Tapcar. Yeah. Let's bring Tapcar. You know what's weird? Is it called Tapcar? Did I get that right? I think so. Yeah. Let's bring Tapcar. You know what's weird? Is it called Tapcar? Did I get that right? I think so, yeah. It's a great name.
Starting point is 00:10:50 It's totally memorable. It's like Foodora. When I was at the hockey game, there was a big ad that came up on the Jumbotron for Lyft and it said it was the official ride share of the vancouver connects really yeah and i was like we don't have yeah everybody was confused yeah so does lyft know
Starting point is 00:11:13 something that i don't know i don't know yeah i mean lyft always knows something i don't know yeah yeah i've um yeah i don't know hey what's going on with you? Oh, not too much. I'm just finishing up my trip here. I'm leaving tomorrow. Wow. How long were you here? Almost a week. What were you doing here for a movie that was premiering? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:37 So a buddy of mine, Spencer Adamas, who's a comedian as well, we worked with this film company in Winnipeg called Folks Films for the first time for a 48-hour film competition this last summer. What is one of those? One of those 48-hour films. So it's like they give you a theme and something real specific so you can't start in advance like this one was Overcoming Adversity.
Starting point is 00:12:04 That's like every movie, though. I remember I once was at an improv show, and I think this might have been the only time I ever yelled out a thing when they said, can someone suggest something you'd have to overcome? I yelled adversity. And the 48-hour film fest test was there and they were like nice yeah so they give you a topic and um then you have 48 hours to shoot and edit and submit a film right on that theme just a short i think the max was like three minutes and 20 seconds or something
Starting point is 00:12:40 right 320 baby yeah baby you know what it is 320 i wasn't sure if you guys partook yeah oh yeah there's a different drug for every hour of the day i'm an ibuprofen at 320 sometimes i'll take uh i don't know about you guys but ibuprofen oh yeah we be proven oh boy i had that poster in my dorm room got me laid so many times oh dave i can i have a headache. What was the 48-hour movie? What was the plot? I mean, I know that adversity was overcome.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Yes, adversity was overcome. It was, so Spencer stars in it, and I am, it's just my voice. I'm the voice of his car radio, sentient car radio. Oh. Yeah. You might have voice of his car radio, sentient car radio. Oh. Yeah. You might have seen that coming. Yeah, sure. One of these.
Starting point is 00:13:55 So Spencer's like this kind of pretty meek, trainee character. He's got the badge on his shirt going to work. And then it's kind of a fantasy sci-fi type film, a short film, sort of like the beginning of an adventure where the radio gets in touch with him to let him know that he's about to go on this really big quest and he has to get ready for it.
Starting point is 00:14:12 And it all takes place with just him driving in the car and I'm kind of trying to psych him up and get him ready but stuff starts happening so the car gets attacked
Starting point is 00:14:19 by like some tentacle monsters and he's supposed to meet up with this wizard to help him but then he's shaken by it and he, I shouldn't even give this away. How did you get tentacle monsters. And he's supposed to meet up with this wizard to help him, but then he's shaken by it. I shouldn't even give this away. How did you get tentacle monsters in 48 hours?
Starting point is 00:14:31 They made them. These folks' films, these sweet pals that we made, made them, and they look amazing. In 48 hours they made them? They made them. Wow. They look so good. So you wrote the script and then gave it to these people?
Starting point is 00:14:45 No, they wrote the script. They wrote the script. Yeah. Okay. I'm just the hired talent. Yeah, just the voice. So they wrote Tentacle Monster and then a few hours later they made Tentacle Monsters? Yeah, you should have seen it.
Starting point is 00:14:58 They probably had some Tentacle Monsters live. Yeah. No, they made them and there's another really cool scene. I don't want to spoil it. I think I hope I can. Where I get him to look in his glove box, and he pulls this big, like, Excalibur-type sword out of the glove box. Ah, cool. It looks so cool.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Yeah. Huh. So we entered a few festivals in Winnipeg. That 48-hour film festival, we won some awards. And went to the Gimli Film Festival, won some stuff there, and then submitted for this. And for the International Film Festival,
Starting point is 00:15:35 I guess they chose about 11 out of 200 submissions from all around the world. And we were chosen. That were all 48-hour ones? No, no. Most of them weren't. So ours was one of the shorter ones for sure. And one of the ones with the time constraint in the making. There was a lot of different ones.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Some of them were made with like, like ours was really good quality, but there were some that were like, whoa, the budget. Ours didn't really have a budget, but some of the budgets were like, this is like I'm watching a full. A full thingy. Yeah, it's amazing. There's like special effects and lots of actors and that kind of thing. Yeah. If you make a short enough film, you can really soup up those special effects and you can have a lot of actors and it's only a couple minutes long.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Yeah. Then why do they keep making movies so long? Yeah, that's a very good question. That's a great question. How come I can't go to the theater and just see like 10 short films? Mm-hmm. Why? Why in this era do I have and just see like 10 short films? Why? Why in this era do I have to just see one long film?
Starting point is 00:16:30 Yeah. Or even just one short film. Who has the time? That's true. Have you ever seen one of those movies that's like a bunch of, you know, they get like four directors to make. Oh, yeah. What was the one? There was one like New York Stories. Yeah. And there was one like like new york stories or yeah and there was there's one um what's his name uh quentin tarantino did one robert the grindhouse ones no it was in a hotel
Starting point is 00:16:55 oh four rooms four rooms is that well yeah i think but those are all connect i guess they're all connected yeah but it was like four. Yeah. I don't know. That's like, I guess, when a director's just like, I want to direct something, but not a whole movie. That would be fun if a producer was like, you got any dumb storyline around where you got a month? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just like.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Because this, you're not going to get rich off this. No. Famous director. Yeah. But you're off this. No. Famous director. Yeah, but you're already rich. Famous director, Ron Howard, I'm assuming. You're already rich from your winery, Francis Ford Coppola. I remember there was one of those 48-hour film competitions here, or maybe 24-hour.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Anyways, the group... What's the limit? What's the shortest one just an hour five minutes and the group that won they got the topic and they got the whatever the
Starting point is 00:17:55 thing the prop they had to use and then they all got on a flight to New York so the first scene is it takes place in Vancouver and then the camera kind of turns around them and they're in Times Square. And everybody lost their shit during the screening. They were like, how the fuck did you? No kidding.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Yeah. So, I mean, there was no budget limit to this competition. Was there a budget limit? I don't think we were worried about too much money. Oh, we blew through that million real quick that is yeah like those people who made that one where they went to new york yeah what did they get out of that a trip to pretty much a trip to new york and they have to come back and be present 48 hours later? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They came back and they edited. The guy was editing on the plane. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:51 I mean, it was like one of these ideas, like it'll blow everybody's mind. It did. And then what? And then, yeah, and then you're all out. It'll make us so much money. Imagine, a movie shot in New York, they said. The permits alone. Had you ever, like, do you do voice work?
Starting point is 00:19:13 No. No? No, never. Do you want to try? I don't know. Okay. We're just going to throw some ideas. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:21 Okay. Sunscreen. You need it. We got it. Put it on your body and be safe. Well, you don't have to... That was pretty good. You kind of trailed off at the end there.
Starting point is 00:19:33 I was doing that on purpose. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's going to be my... That's your signature? Yeah. Okay. A dragon who's like sleepy. Oh, no. Okay. That was pretty good. Okay. That was really good. who's like sleepy oh no
Starting point is 00:19:45 okay that was pretty good okay that was pretty good I don't know if it's my okay yeah I don't know I mean you gotta
Starting point is 00:19:51 you took your shot this is good for me because when I did your show the other night Graham one of the comedians came up to me after and he was like
Starting point is 00:19:58 you have a really unique voice and a unique way of speaking and a cool intonation do you do voice work and i was like no no now you can say you have i can say i listen man i tried and you know what although in most voice work um is it uh you improvise the entire thing
Starting point is 00:20:18 someone just shouts out your character yeah okay yeah okay. Yeah, that's what it is. That's why Cars exists, because Luke Wilson was like, or Owen Wilson. Who is it? Owen Wilson? He said, I'm a voice of a car. He decided that. And the animators were like, oh, we were making a thing about dogs. They had to scrap all their designs. Oh, and he started talking like a car.
Starting point is 00:20:42 He started talking like a car. He mostly started Talking like Owen Wilson Is that I've never seen I've never seen the cars Why my Owen Wilson Oh my god Graham
Starting point is 00:20:52 Great impression Thank you Thank you Yeah that's pretty good I can't believe You've never seen the movie Um well I've seen the ads
Starting point is 00:20:59 Okay Um no yeah He doesn't do a voice He's He's Owen Wilson. He's Lightning McQueen. Yeah, that's right. Paul Newman, is it?
Starting point is 00:21:11 Yeah, is Racecar McGee. Would you do voice work if it came your way? Why, of course you would. Yeah, I would. I'll answer that for her. Yeah, she would. Dave? What do you do in Winnipeg?
Starting point is 00:21:30 You were talking about having to go to a job. Yeah, I have a day job in Winnipeg. That's very mysterious. You don't want to hear about that. Sure. Sure we don't want to. No, you don't want to worry. I work for a property management company.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Okay. Yeah. I work with Tim, actually. Tim Gray. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, past guest Tim Gray. He bought a bidet.
Starting point is 00:21:52 What's your bidet situation? I tried it out when he got it. I was one of the first to try it. One of the first? What is this? Too cold, too direct. Oh, okay. You want something warmer and just more broad.
Starting point is 00:22:03 I thought it'd be a gentle washing. And this was a power yeah like it's trying to get through the door I mean that's I would yeah
Starting point is 00:22:14 like sprinkler wise I would want one they kind of go side to side as opposed to they're like I don't know man like
Starting point is 00:22:23 it doesn't come out side to side. Mind us. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got a weird butt. Yeah, I know that about you. Yeah, I've got a weird butt.
Starting point is 00:22:36 I remember learning that very early from my doctor. My doctor was like, it's not shaped correctly. Yeah. Your doctor was like, I'm here to teach you shame. When did I learn shame? When did you learn shame, Angie? Oh, God. We want to go back to that.
Starting point is 00:22:53 I don't know. I don't know if I feel it. No? Still to this day? I don't feel very ashamed of a lot of things. There you go. I don't think. I don't.
Starting point is 00:23:03 I wasn't very. Maybe I shouldn't say that. I was going don't i wasn't very well maybe i shouldn't say that i was gonna say i wasn't very religious growing up i don't know that it necessarily ties in but i hear that there are certain faiths where shame is sort of ingrained in you because of that sure uh i mean i think i used to feel some shame about being goofy growing up okay being a bit of a class clown like if you wanted to get anywhere in life you had to be serious and you get in trouble in school for it and you know
Starting point is 00:23:29 people shake their head at you and what not but that was kind of a waste of time because when I got older like just in the past couple years I realized that actually like being silly if that's your thing just when I started doing stand up and stuff that can be your thing that can just be fine that can be great and there's actually just be fine. That can be great.
Starting point is 00:23:45 And there's actually a lot of people out there who are like that too. And it's fine. Yeah. Yeah. If you're silly. Yeah. Just channel it and work on it. And yeah,
Starting point is 00:23:53 start doing the announcements at your school or whatever. I feel like, I wish someone had told me that grownups like aren't all serious all the time. Yeah. Yeah. I think, did you like, they. They don't want you around. No, no, no. They don't want to hang out with kids,
Starting point is 00:24:12 but you don't have to be afraid that you... Also, you've got to be wary of the ones that do want to hang out with kids. That's an important life lesson. They just seem serious because you just snuck up on them. That's an important life lesson. And like,
Starting point is 00:24:24 they just seem serious because you just snuck up on them. But like when you were growing up, did you have an adult in your life that was, that was funny or silly? Yeah. Oh, for sure. My,
Starting point is 00:24:37 my whole family, my mom, my dad, my brother, that's my family. They all have a good sense of humor. And my dad was definitely cracking jokes all the time. And I think I was probably the biggest ham in the family.
Starting point is 00:24:49 And at home, that was great. Yeah. Everybody loved that at home. What was your go-to routine at home? Oh, my brother and I would do this thing before bed where we would pull our pajama pants up over our shoulders with our arms underneath, you know? So we were like a big A-frame. And then jump from foot to foot and like chase each other because his room was at one end it was like a c one end of the hall and then my parents was in the middle and then mine on the other yeah and they would just be trying to keep us at either end so we would go to bed at bedtime but we'd be trying to hang out and goof off that's a pretty
Starting point is 00:25:18 good routine it was a good routine i mean they were like going to bed but they were laughing at the same time yeah sure yeah What were your bedtime rules? Get away from your brother. Yeah. I was like, stop trying to talk to your brother. And I wasn't allowed scissors because I went through this phase where I cut V's along the seams of all my clothes, like little tiny V's. Like Fred Flintstones?
Starting point is 00:25:46 No, like little vents almost running up like a pattern all the inside and outside of my pants and shirts. Can't do that in Winnipeg. I was trying to do it to all my clothes. Did it look good? I thought so. Yeah, I mean hey kid
Starting point is 00:26:07 you're gonna have to buy new pants when winter comes cause you ventilated your pants you got the weirdest tan lines oh man what were your bedtime rules bedtime
Starting point is 00:26:21 you're the oldest I was the eldest yeah so I think I was I think I was I think I was first first in and out of the bathroom for tooth brushing
Starting point is 00:26:30 oh I think like we couldn't brush teeth as a unit because we would just misbehave and try and just try to take
Starting point is 00:26:39 so much put so much toothpaste on one toothbrush and then just eat it all yeah yeah i feel like anything that was even vaguely kind of candy oh yeah and toothpaste certainly fit that bill oh yeah um so yeah i think like the rule was like minimal toothpaste also solo toothbrushing that
Starting point is 00:27:02 that was the rule and i'm really cute to this day. Did you ever share a bedroom? No. You? Yeah. What was the rule at bedtime? I was the youngest, so I was always... I went to bed earliest and it always sounded like everyone was having so much fun. When in fact it was like my parents watching night court or whatever
Starting point is 00:27:26 well then they were having a lot of fun well what was bull up to that week um so yeah but like uh i i think i i i just yeah like just say just you don't have to go to sleep. Just stay in your room. That was pretty much the rule. Yeah. Like, lights on, lights off. Did it matter? As long as you were in your room, it was fine. Like, because, you know, some parents would be like, you have to be in your room. The lights have to be off.
Starting point is 00:28:00 You're supposed to be at least mimicking sleep. I don't think my parents were checking underneath the door. The little crack? The crack to see if the lights were on. The lights were out by the time their lights were out. And that's... What did you do then when they made you go to bed? Mad magazines.
Starting point is 00:28:16 I read mad magazines. I listened to sports talk radio. Like a call-in joke? yeah yeah what did i do did i just maybe just like stare up in the space i didn't read i mean i like what did i do i remember they had because we had there was a classic rock station and at 10 o'clock it became sports talk radio. Yeah. Till midnight. And then after that, it became the overnight show, which was classic rock, but it was, they like played spookier stuff.
Starting point is 00:28:56 So like the Monster Mash? Like Pink Floyd. Like Pink Floyd. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember being scared of Pink Floyd songs when I was a kid. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember being scared of Pink Floyd songs when I was a kid. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:06 I've never been into Pink Floyd because I always thought they were too spooky. Yeah. And I don't regret it. No, but I don't. Like, I guess I understand because, like, there's, like, it's weird. Their music's very weird when you're a kid and you have no context. I remember one time falling asleep in the car on a road trip, and then my parents put on a Pink Floyd song,
Starting point is 00:29:29 and I woke up crying because I was like, too scary. So sometimes it's weird. It's just like clocks going off and stuff. You're like, where are we? I don't like it. You're in Oz. That's right in The Wizard of Oz. That's right when the clocks are going off.
Starting point is 00:29:45 I think that's right when it... Yeah, that's scary. If you sync them up. I remember a teacher showing us... Was there a movie of the wall? Is it animated? I don't know. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:57 I feel like I remember seeing... There's like walking hammers. Your teacher showed you that? Yeah. And I remember his kids being like we don't need no education yeah why would you show us this
Starting point is 00:30:11 are you trying to tell us we're another brick in the wall you want us to be in a children's choir just trying to get us to eat our meat yeah yeah that's the other thing is like I remember when i was a kid anything that was british was very like confusing just because there were terms like that pudding and meat and you know meat is meat i think yeah no matter where you go but i don't think like i don't think ever my parents were like eat your meat
Starting point is 00:30:41 that was there must have been some kind of yeah i never saw the animated anything but like hearing that song a million times yeah i um uh another brick in the wall with the the guy yelling about meat and pudding there must have been some context for that yeah i i mean there may i never got into pink floyd either but i i understand where you're coming from with the spookiness yeah even just that the difference of hearing that and being like what do kids eat for lunch they're just like a salisbury steak and a cup of pudding and that's the normal yeah that's creepy enough they didn't have a food pyramid. They just had a food log. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Meats and puddings. And pudding could be anything. Any kind of dessert. Yeah. That's true. Anything that you kind of puree and whip. No, I mean the way that like your backyard is your garden. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Just anything. It's like these are everything else is putting there was a news story on tv and this is i don't know why it was on tv because it's old news the peppa pig effect of north american kids using british terms and like or having an accent which is so fake like those kids no one no kid has an accent because peppa pig but like great if they did i can see a kid being like calling a flashlight a torch yeah yeah yeah but when i was a kid and i heard anything like that i was it's just it was so it was so confusing like calling it a torch or calling a stroller a pram.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Any British thing, I assumed was made 10 years earlier. Yeah. Just because, like, any of those Mr. Beans, the film quality on them looks like they're from 1982. Are they? What year did they shoot the Mr. Beans? I don't know. Cause they're like not in a time. Like the car he drove wasn't from that era. So it's like,
Starting point is 00:32:54 and there's no other characters like that are wearing a Walkman or something, but were they kept in a vault for 10 years before I saw them? Yeah, they were vaulted. There was the bean vault um do you uh there's a show just like rowan atkinson was on it and he was asked about being mr bean and he was at like a car he's getting his car repaired he was chatting with the mechanics and one of the mechanics said like you look a lot lot like Mr. Bean. And he's like,
Starting point is 00:33:25 I'm actually the actor that played Mr. Bean. And the guy was like, I bet you wish you were though. And he was like, no, I am. And he was like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:33:32 I bet you wish you were though. Like, wouldn't that be amazing if you were? Yeah. And he couldn't convince this guy. Was he going to just bumble himself into some sort of situation? He's like, change into this bathing suit.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Like in England, that kind of face is so common. You're the fifth Mr. Bean looking like we've had through here today. He had such a weird face, like the boy in your class that would always be picking his nose and no one would talk to, but on an adult's body, you know? Do you remember that kid's name? Yeah, Garrett. Yeah, me too dave um do you remember like when you were a kid that besides kind of uh like pink floyd anything that
Starting point is 00:34:18 you were exposed to like a movie or a cartoon that you were like this is just this is just off-putting like this is there's something weird about this i don't like the adult world at all yeah oh yeah i was afraid of everything when i was a kid i uh used to have my family went to disney land yeah and i had two panic attacks and ran away. I didn't ride any rides. I got scared in the gift shop. How old were you? Nine. Nine years old, scared.
Starting point is 00:34:51 What was it about the gift shop? They had this like rumble effect, like a fake earthquake happened in there to be like, whoa, it's this Hollywood studio stuff, I guess. Right. And I was like, it's real. And I ran and there was this. And then this was another time. That was irresponsible And I was like, it's real. And I ran. And there was this, and then this was another time. That was irresponsible of them. Well, yeah, that's pretty.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Because this is like. That's a place where earthquakes actually happen. Yeah, absolutely. All I did that time at Disneyland, we went to Universal Studios, all that stuff. I just went to like the petting zoo
Starting point is 00:35:19 that they had there and like pet the goats. A famous goat. Yeah. I ate my soda crackers and that was a good day you know it's like soda crackers that really that sounds like a britishism soda crackers i was afraid of a lot i used to be afraid to go to the movie theater too really afraid really so much so like i would try to go to my friend's birthday parties i remember
Starting point is 00:35:43 when we were supposed to go see 101 dalmatians and then i would get to go to my friend's birthday parties. I remember when we were supposed to go see 101 Dalmatians. And then I would get like sick to my stomach before we were going to go because I was so scared. I usually have to go home or stay at home while they went and be like, oh, sorry, I couldn't. I had to miss the movie. I'm so sad. I missed the movie. Yeah, I was petting this goat. Ran away with my soda crackers.
Starting point is 00:36:02 But like going to a movie is a weird. It's a weird sell to a kid. Like we're go in this dark room bunch of strangers it's even worse with 3d now like you have to wear a thing on your face yeah this that maybe has been sanitized probably not yeah i can see that i see it's oh yeah i mean i guess it seems normal ish but then none of my friends were doing that Yeah I can see that I can see It's Oh yeah I mean I guess it seems normal-ish But then none of my friends
Starting point is 00:36:29 Were doing that So I felt weird about it Yeah running away Running away From 101 Dalmatians Yeah I did that at the airport too I remember when we left
Starting point is 00:36:36 For the trip I ran away And I hid in the women's washroom Because it was my dad And me flying out So I was like Can't get me any air My poor dad outside
Starting point is 00:36:44 Was just like to all the women going in, there's a little girl in there. Can you bring her to me? And they were like, oh, no thanks, sir. You know? Don't want to get involved.
Starting point is 00:36:53 I don't want to be an accessory. Yeah. It was the perfect plan. Was that because you were scared of flying? Yeah. Yeah. I was scared of flying.
Starting point is 00:37:04 I did eventually. We had to get on, and I remember just using up all of the barf bags in the row to- To barf? Yeah. Oh. I don't know. Not to- Well, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:13 Craft. Yeah. It would be great to calm me. Yeah. I was really scared of a lot of things like that. Were you guys scared of- I mean, I barfed a lot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Okay. Like from fear? No. Okay. From from fear? No. Okay. From motion sickness. Oh, like from cars? On the airplane. Like one time we flew back, although I must have already been sick because I threw up.
Starting point is 00:37:35 We flew, we went to Hawaii and I threw up in the metal detector, like on the way. Like I think I threw up in the parking lot and then walking through the metal detector and then there's six of us in the family and i used seven barf bags oh that's you all-time champ yeah yeah i'm i used four i remembered two because i was pretty proud of that after two that was like the first thing i told my class when i came back from the trip for show and tell but seven dude you're a legend yeah yeah that's pretty good i mean by the end i'm just spitting yeah yeah yeah but still seven no it's there's no no asterisk needs to be next to that right you're right you're right um yeah i think i was i was scared like think I was scared. Definitely, I was scared of like, there was a lady that lived in a house at the end of the street.
Starting point is 00:38:32 It was just a lady who was living her life. But I was scared of her. Was she the one that everybody in the neighborhood talked about? Like, Birchdale Betty? That was ours. Birchdale Betty. Birchdale Betty, yeah. Wow. We didn't have a name for her.
Starting point is 00:38:43 No. Yours is better than mine. We had a name for her. No. Yours is better than mine. We had a name for her. We had Fab Five Freddy. Really? No. Who was Birchdale Betty? She was just a woman who lived on the corner of the street by the elementary school.
Starting point is 00:38:55 And she had a really high fence. And I think that's where it all came from. There were just all these sorts of rumors that she had a whale in her backyard. Oh, sure. Everybody wanted to see that. And that she had a whale in her backyard. Oh, sure. Everybody wanted to see that. And that she put a razor blade in someone's apple for Halloween. So it was like a big thing to go to her house to trick or treat. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:14 You know, like that was like, you got to be really brave to do that. Did you do it? Oh, yeah, I did that. I wasn't afraid of that. Was she an old lady? She was an old lady, yeah. Is she dead? She is now, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Do you think in her obituary it was like they called her birchdale betty was her name betty i i don't know her actual name that's a good point i that's a good point local legend birchdale betty yeah she is mourned by her whale that she kept in her backyard yeah in her illegal backyard tank. Was there a scary witch lady in your neighborhood? Or a warlock man. I mean, my parents used to always threaten to make me live with the neighbors, the Kaufmans. Oh, if you don't behave, you're going to go live with the Kaufmans? I'm going to send you to live with the Kaufmans.
Starting point is 00:40:04 What was so bad about the Kaufmans? I don't know. They were old people. Yeah. They didn't have any of your stuff. Their names sounded like cough. Yeah. Probably smoked.
Starting point is 00:40:14 They probably also had dishes of hard candy everywhere. Do old people do that? I think so. The ones in my life. Yeah. My granny definitely had the the, the classic, like the ribbon candy that would
Starting point is 00:40:27 really stick together. It'd be one thing when you have to take it out and put it in a bowl so long in the sun. And I'd still go for it because it's still candy.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Yeah. At the end of the day, it's not as good as toothpaste, but it'll do. Yeah, I think like, but I don't know
Starting point is 00:40:43 what it was about this woman at the end of the street She's just a Just an old lady But she never did anything She didn't even have A high fence or anything
Starting point is 00:40:51 I think she had a red light Somewhere in her house That was enough Yeah She's a spooky Satan worshiper Yeah yeah yeah Or she had Plants
Starting point is 00:40:59 Yeah Developing photos Who knows Yeah Why would she have a red light? For plants? That doesn't make sense. No, maybe not.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Maybe she was worshipping. Speaking of old lady candy, we talked a few weeks ago about things that as kids we thought were fancy. Oh, yeah. And someone on the Facebook group posted those strawberry candies strawberry candies that were the wrapper was strawberry strawberry seeds with the green on top yeah and inside it's strawberry and it's like gooey inside yeah no it's not a gusher no but it's it when it softens up on the outside or when it when you make it through the outside it's soft on the inside i like love that like i would i would never know where to even buy them now no and i if i saw them i probably wouldn't but if someone like had a bowl of them yeah
Starting point is 00:41:52 whatever the uh the car repair place has a bowl of them yeah like having a bowl of candy out is uh like, I think my principal had, like, a thing, like a candy dish on his desk. And that was, like, that was your fringe benefit of getting in trouble. You get to talk to him, but then you get to be the candy. You get the candy, yeah. Yeah. I tried having a candy dish at home. I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:42:22 You'll just eat all the candy. Yeah, eat all the candy, yeah. How fast? Like within a day? Yeah, I'd say, like, within a day or two, at home, it can't do it. You'll just eat all the candy. Yeah, eat all the candy. How fast? Like within a day? Yeah, I'd say like within a day or two for sure it was gone. I tried to do it too with caramels and I was like, I just, I love them. Yeah, I love they're there. Backstage the other night there was a bag of chips.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Three bags of chips. Four bags of chips. Yeah, four bags of chips. Holy. I think we opened two of them. Quit bragging. I don't think two of them. Quit bragging. I don't think we finished them. No.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Just like pillow size. Yeah. And then a bunch of beer and like eight pieces of fun size Halloween candy. And I think we ate them all. Yeah. If it's there, man oh man. But like, I don't know. It's just, I don't know anybody as an adult that has a bowl of candy out because of that exact thing.
Starting point is 00:43:10 Is it like you would just eat all the candy? Unless you bought a candy that you weren't keen on. I think that's the key. Yeah. Do old people like Werther's Originals or do they hate them? Maybe they hate that ribbon candy. Maybe nobody likes ribbon candy except dumb kids. My friend's mom used to
Starting point is 00:43:30 keep them in her, sorry, my friend's grandma used to keep them in her car and she would never let us have them because she said they were for emergencies, like in case she was driving and her mouth got dry and she crashed the car. She was so afraid of having dry mouth
Starting point is 00:43:46 that they were emergency candies. That actually, now that I say it out loud, I think it was a lie. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You believed it all these years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:57 Although maybe you didn't think about it. I thought she was stupid. You're not going to crash your car because of dry mouth, you dumb lady. I was the dumb dumb. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, what isn't, man? I don't know. Oh, boy. We had a show this weekend. We did our live show, and that was fun. Oh, so much fun. We had Alicia Tobin and Brent Butt. weekend we did our live show and that was uh fun oh so much we had alicia tobin and brent butt
Starting point is 00:44:25 and uh and that uh uh that night was so late like you know like i'm not a uh you know late night dad i'm not a late night guy it was a 9 30 show and on a holiday yeah um and so it uh but i was like once i was backstage i was not leaving backstage but i was like, once I was backstage, I was not leaving backstage, but I was like, I could really go for like a jolt cola. A little something to get you over. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, so then that night was staying up very late. And the next day, Margo was sick.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Oh, no. And she did, she had it all. She filled all the barf bags oh just like like father like daughter yeah uh no she had no appetite she ate one thing and threw it up oh yeah yeah that's how it goes and uh yeah no fun at all but also that kind of like it's fun to have a cuddly sick kid. Yeah, right? Yeah. Kind of dopey. Yeah. Like, just felt like, oh, Mario, you don't have to do anything all day.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Just relax. And like, here's the iPad. And fell asleep with the iPad. Yeah, watch The View. Yeah, sure. It was the holiday of Family Day. Family Day. Which is a made-up holiday.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Do you have Family Day in Manitoba? I think it's Louis Riel Day. Oh, it Which is a made up holiday. Do you have Family Day in Manitoba? I think it's Louis Riel Day. Oh. Yeah, it's weird. You have an actual holiday. An actual holiday, yeah. Because there's like, it's out east, it's Islander Day. Oh.
Starting point is 00:45:55 And it's Heritage Day in Nova Scotia. And it's something else in Quebec. So, I don't know why we couldn't all just settle on. Yeah. On Louis Riel Day. Yeah. Yeah. Why couldn't all just settle on on Louis Riel day. Yeah, why can't that just be the day? But yeah, I guess a kid now would just look at an iPad. They wouldn't watch the view.
Starting point is 00:46:16 That's what I would do. You were never young enough to have the view. No, that's what I do now. Yeah, that's what you do now. What was I going to ask? young enough to have them no that's what i do now yeah that's what you do now um what um what was i gonna ask um oh yeah louis riel maybe the most famous name i learned in canadian history like there's not a lot of there's john a mcdonald john a mcdonald jacques cartier jacques cartier uh not a heck of a lot of others there's um laurier i remember laurier coming up will uh mckenzie king oh yeah sure what did he do uh he was he was the prime minister during world war ii oh i think yeah i can name some prime ministers
Starting point is 00:47:02 but that's that's from history class those are the only ones that I can remember. I remember Hiawatha, but maybe that's a mythical figure. I remember Mrs. Kaufman next door. But it's because Canada's history is quite short. Yeah. In terms of, like, you know, we learned, like, Japanese history, and it goes back thousands. You learned Japanese history? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:33 Oh, yeah. The schools will do anything to not bring up residential schools. Yeah. Yeah, so we learned all about Japanese history. I don't know why we learned about Japanese history, Russian history. Uh-huh. Some American Japanese history, Russian history. Some American history, some Canadian history. We watched American history X.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Yeah. What? In school? Lucky. There was, I remember there was a big, like, when I was in grade eight, it was like, Dave, you can't go to parties. You'll get curbstompedped that was before the movie came out the whole nation
Starting point is 00:48:09 is on this curb stomping craze that scene was so horrific I do remember it I haven't seen it you haven't seen it? no they didn't really show it at my school
Starting point is 00:48:19 oh my god you're my friend's grandma with these tricks well every time I my mouth gets dry i just bite the curb yeah that's uh i'm pretty sure like that was another that was a big urban myth was that there was the curb stomp there was i mean I mean, sure. But everywhere, all the time. I mean, you really got to work a guy over to get him to agree to bite the curb.
Starting point is 00:48:50 Yeah. Yeah, whatever you're doing is worse than... Like, hopefully someone will intervene before it gets that far. Yeah. Yeah, you certainly hope so. In any kind of fight scenario, you're like, I hope I just get punched once,
Starting point is 00:49:03 and then somebody's like, knock him off! Yeah, I hope it's like... Kn and then somebody's like, knock him off. Yeah, I hope it's like, not like the movies where, like, I think it's very tiring to fight. Yeah. Yeah, you need endurance,
Starting point is 00:49:13 I think. Have you guys ever been in a fight? Yeah. With each other? No, I've never been in a fight. No.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Have you ever been in a fight? Not really, but I've been beat up a couple times. Okay, well that counts. Okay. I just mostly
Starting point is 00:49:24 give people the silent treatment. That gets you in fights? That is a fight. Hey buddy, you got a problem? Oh, I'm sorry, did I say something? I do a lot of like, you wouldn't punch someone with glasses, would you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get motion sick.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Yeah, yeah. would you yeah yeah yeah uh i get motion sick yeah yeah uh you know i've got that kind of mr bean face that no one wants to people just want to look at how old is that guy yeah yeah they want to put a turkey over it that's my curb stoppingping. I get turkey'd a lot. So in this, I don't remember how he got the turkey on his head. He was trying to stuff the turkey. Was he looking inside with a candle and he got too close? Yeah, he was trying to retrieve. I think he put the stuffing in and then his watch came off in the turkey.
Starting point is 00:50:25 Oh, mister. Oh boy. It is a classic. Yeah. Yeah. And they only made like 12 of those and everybody's seen every single one during. Yeah. It's like all British shows.
Starting point is 00:50:41 They made a one, six episodes season, another six episodes season and a Christmas special. Yeah. And then they're the best. Yeah. Yeah. They don't wear out their welcome.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Totally. It's great. I love it when he goes, mm. Mm. Yeah. So, yeah, I had a nice family day. That's nice. With a sick family.
Starting point is 00:51:01 Is she better now? Yeah. Yeah. She seemed bouncing around and i normally i take both kids swimming yeah but since margo was sick i took poppy swimming she loved it like more than she's ever loved it before oh really like she was like this is on board solo swimming yeah just like putting her not even going in very deep just sticking your head like going in as deep as she needed to to like just drag, just sticking her head in, like going in as deep as she needed to,
Starting point is 00:51:25 to like just drag the back of her head in through the water. And then I would just hold her up like on her back. And she had the biggest smile on her face. She was just living this dream life as an only child. This is what swimming is. Your dad just holds you and walks through the water. That's pretty much it. Like just holding her neck, her butt was floating.
Starting point is 00:51:46 But that's true. She's never had any only child time. So this was it. I know. Oh, man. She started plotting ways that she can make Margo sick. She's going to get that Munchausen's by proxy. What's up with you?
Starting point is 00:52:06 Okay, so here's the thing. Well, when we're recording this, yesterday there was like some foofer on Twitter about an interview that John Wayne did in 1971. So I was... Is he cancelled? He's cancelled. wayne is canceled because of his like very obvious views that john wayne would have had um but i watched so last night when i got home i was like
Starting point is 00:52:38 what does it touch on the interview oh probably i didn't i didn't read the interview, but I... Race. Let's say race. Oh, okay. But I watched most of a John Wayne movie, which I've never really done before. I've watched one before in the past. And... I haven't. No. Have you watched any?
Starting point is 00:53:01 I don't think so. You're from the plains. That's a stereotype. Maybe when I was like so little that I. Yeah. Yeah. Kids love John Wayne. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:12 I feel like my grandfather had some on DVD, like a three pack that you'd buy at Walmart. Like John Wayne classics. The thing about John Wayne is everybody's impression of him is perfect. Like the. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well of him is perfect. Like the little lady. Yeah. Like your impressions of him that you just did now are perfect. That's exactly how he was. And the way that he would walk kind of with his arms out.
Starting point is 00:53:41 Well, I'm gonna. Was he in Shanghai Noon? Yeah. Or was that Jackie Chan? Oh, yeah. I always get them confused. And it was a buddy comedy. It was John Wayne and Jackie Chan.
Starting point is 00:53:54 But immediately after the John Wayne movie, there was American Masters, Sammy Davis Jr. And everybody's Sammy Davis Jr. impression is horseshit. What? Billy Crystal doesn't sound anything like Sammy Davis Jr. But he looks like him because he does blackface. Because he does blackface. Yeah, well, how come he hasn't been canceled? He did blackface in 2012 at the Oscars.
Starting point is 00:54:20 Yeah. But he's not doing anything else. Is he? What? Billy Crystal? Just Blackface. Yeah. I mean, there's nothing to cancel.
Starting point is 00:54:29 There's a... Oh. Oh. You hear that, Billy? I'm coming for you. But yeah, like, watching this documentary,
Starting point is 00:54:39 I was like, he doesn't, like, Sammy's doing, he's doing talk like this, man. Like, he doesn't... Themy's dude he's doing talk like this man like he doesn't the candy man babe right that's pretty much it yeah but that's the impression yeah but that's not that isn't what he
Starting point is 00:54:54 sounds like oh which i didn't know because i always just took it for granted i was like yeah i assume billy chris billy crystal was in this documentary as well. Did he do the voice pen? He wanted to. I'm sure they cut it out. But yeah, I just never realized how accurate everybody's John Wayne impression is and how inaccurate everybody. And I'm looking particularly at Billy Crystal. But I've heard other people doing that version of the impression. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:25 They all impressions sort of just become impressions of other impressions. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Like my, a lot of people are doing my Christopher Walken these days, but I was the first. You cracked it. Yeah. So I did that.
Starting point is 00:55:39 I watched a whole John Wayne movie. He wins in the end. Yeah. Which one was it? It was called something crazy something. Something crazy lady, maybe. No. Stop crazy lady.
Starting point is 00:55:56 Stop crazy lady or my mom will shoot. Have you ever heard this story about how that movie came to be? Do you know this movie? No. Stop Where My Mom Will Shoot stars Estelle Getty as... From The Golden Girls. As Estelle Vester Stallone's mother. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:18 And he's a cop? He's a cop. I don't know. And that's all I know. And the title is great. The title is great. And it's a cop. I don't know. And that's all I know. And the title is great. The title is great. And it's, uh,
Starting point is 00:56:27 it's so bad. Like it's just one of the, the, you know, most, uh, kind of badly, badly reviewed movies of all time.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Okay. And the legend is that when, uh, in the eighties, when Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were kind of competing to be like the top box office tough guy. That Arnold Schwarzenegger
Starting point is 00:56:52 purposely put out a rumor that he was interested in doing that script so that Stallone would do it. And Stallone bit and did the movie. Isn't that like the best thing? Yeah, what a prankster. It is a good prank.
Starting point is 00:57:09 They weren't good natured rivals, weren't they? Didn't they both planet Hollywood? They both expendabled? They both. When they got heart surgery, they got wheeled into the same room so they could hang out. So yeah, I think it was like they were competitive, but what a fun way to monkey with your friend's career.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Oh, yeah. Are there any other celebrities who are competitive in a fun way? Yeah. Who is our equivalent? It's all like Katy Perry andry and taylor swift hate each other yeah there's no like like i feel some rap beefs are probably more than my favorite one currently is 50 cent and uh jaw rule i told told you about that thing where he buys he buys out the front row of all of his concerts so that it's empty. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Is Ja Rule the Firefest documentary guy? Yeah. Oh, boy. Thinking about getting back in the festival game. He wants you to know that he was hoodwinked, too. Well, I mean, it was just light false advertising. It wasn't fraud. Have you seen the documentary? I have, yeah. Yeah, I like that
Starting point is 00:58:27 he was convincing his team. Well, I don't know that it's fraud. It's false advertising, sure. I like when someone's not a lawyer and they're like, here's what I think
Starting point is 00:58:40 sounds better. It wasn't manslaughter. That's the slaughter of a man. It was murder. Would you guys ever go to that length, like prank each other or a friendly rival in the scene with something like that? Like, is there anybody that you have a... A prank is so hard to do. Like, you have to have so much patience.
Starting point is 00:59:01 And you have to, like, anything I do like that would come off as mean. Absolutely. Most pranks can come off as mean. I'm not. Looking back. You have to have such a weird type of relationship with that person. Yeah. That you can be mean to them in a way that's endearing.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Yeah. And I think you also have to, like, you have to be a prankster from early on i don't think like you can just take up pranks part way through life yeah like now i do pranks you have to be the original prankster like in that song but yeah i don't think uh i don't think i've ever like successfully pulled off like a like certainly not an elaborate prank because it also takes uh like a lot of assumptions about how people are gonna act yeah you know yeah like and oh boy i don't have the patience no no if someone just didn't notice they were being pranked, it would drive me crazy. Like if it was a long thing that was happening and they didn't care.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Yeah. Yeah. You? Prank? I pulled a lot of pranks until I probably turned about like 20 when I suddenly was like, oh, like I can go to jail. What kind of pranks? Like I used to put my pajamas up over my shoulders. I didn't I can go to jail. What kind of pranks? Like I used to put my pajamas up over my shoulders. Over my shoulders, right? I didn't want to go to jail for it.
Starting point is 01:00:30 When I was supposed to go to bed. Like, oh, I don't know if they're, that's the thing about a prank is I kind of cringe remembering them because I'm like, was that a prank? I mean, or was it really mean? Yeah. You know? I want to hear an example of something. I want to hear 40 examples. One prank was, so there was this guy I went to school with and had been buddies with for
Starting point is 01:00:56 a long time and we had dated and he was kind of always a jerk. And a lot of my friends in high school, I don't know what your high school was, but everyone was a jerk to each other all the time. Right. And that was your friends, you know, always mean. I get it. He got a new truck and a friend of mine and I stayed up till about like four in the morning. And then we went to his truck and we brought glue and glitter. And on the hood of his truck,
Starting point is 01:01:27 we drew a giant penis. Yeah. And then sprinkled the glitter over top of it. So it was like a big glittery dick on the hood of his truck. Right? Like, I mean, I don't know. We just learned pranks from watching like college boy movies.
Starting point is 01:01:41 So she and I were like, yeah, that's a good thing to do because it'll show him. I don't know. All of my pranks were so influenced by that kind of stuff and it's bad. It makes no sense. That's how you got the nickname Winnipegs Van Wilder. You guys know about that. Oh, shit. Yeah, so we did that. And then we, this was when I think Facebook had just started. So we went back to her place and we were waiting to see like him to post something.
Starting point is 01:02:10 Like we thought then we'll know for sure. And we had told one friend on the inside because they had told us like he got this truck. And nothing, nothing. And he's like posting about other stuff and nothing. Like he didn't notice this later in the day and what's going on. Eventually we found out someone else on his block had the same truck. You, oh my God. Isn't that terrible?
Starting point is 01:02:31 It's bad. And so we thought, oh, we should put a gift card to get your car washed on that truck. Like the next night as an, I'm so sorry, you know, wrong truck. But we were so afraid that obviously they would be on the lookout because of that so we just turned tail and never went back yeah you gotta wow
Starting point is 01:02:48 yeah you did the right thing yeah I think that's most prank stories that haven't been made into like a good bit or anything it's just like listen it's kind of sad
Starting point is 01:02:55 yeah it's a bad but you've this isn't the first time you've brought this up like no one's gonna come after you no
Starting point is 01:03:02 no alright it's happening around the beginning i should have changed some details yeah uh i had another one i don't know if it's okay to because these pranks are like to say this stuff like nowadays i would never do this stuff but at the time i watched dirty work like every day after school and was like, yeah, it's important. Like, this is who we are. There was this other guy that was a real jerk to us, such a jerk. And we went to a Halloween party and we put laxatives in his drink.
Starting point is 01:03:39 He was in a one piece sailor costume. Like we were like college boys when we were young girls. Wow. And we just thought, awesome. And I got such a rush out of doing it. And the planning. I remember I did it while I was looking him in the eye and we were joking. And he was being a jerk.
Starting point is 01:04:02 And I was just putting them in the drink while looking at him wow that's bad i think once we in college we went to a party and this house had just it was like six female roommates and we thought it would be funny if we got a pregnancy test peed on it and someone someone peed on it and then just left it on top of their garbage can. Yeah. They just didn't notice. Yeah, see, that's the thing. They didn't notice? They didn't notice that someone had left a pregnancy.
Starting point is 01:04:32 Oh, they noticed. They noticed and they sure just didn't get back to you? No, because we checked in later. Because let me tell you, if there's a pregnancy test anywhere poking out of even just a little bit of receptacle, you're going to take a look yeah
Starting point is 01:04:46 I mean I am for sure by the way I peed on it and I was not pregnant I think I was the one who peed on it you know what
Starting point is 01:04:56 we all we stood in a circle and we peed on it everybody's guilty you guys had to do that for the prank one of you had to hold that with your hand while you all peed on it sweet prank i think that's the prank and some guy pitched that to all of you
Starting point is 01:05:15 okay so what we're all gonna do it's gonna be the best you're all gonna do it i'm gonna take my shirt off you're all gonna i'm gonna hold it you're all gonna pee on me oh boy uh should we move on to some uh business okay alright
Starting point is 01:05:32 hi Dave it's not Dave who it is Triangle Neck a new character from the Dick Tracy universe it's me
Starting point is 01:05:42 Triangle Neck does Triangle Neck work for square face we um let's just say things are getting pretty hot and heavy oh okay okay i understand say no more say no more okay you mean literally don't talk for the rest of this cool oh graham hi hi it's dave now hi dave Dave What was the deal with that guy and his weird triangular neck? I don't know, but you know who I think will get to the bottom of it? Dick Tracy
Starting point is 01:06:11 Okay Here's the thing We, on the show, sometimes we're supported by Squarespace And we're supported by it in many different ways Finan financially and through emotional support. Now, here's things you can do with Squarespace. If you need
Starting point is 01:06:31 to design a website, you can showcase your work on a website. You can blog. You can vlog. You can announce an upcoming event. You can schlog. You can schlog. You can jog. And you know what? You can trog. You can schlog. You can jog. And you know what? You can trog.
Starting point is 01:06:47 You know what the trog's saying. Squarespace. Now, Squarespace does this by giving you beautiful, customizable templates, powerful e-commerce functionality, everything optimized for mobile right out of the box. It's not even, it doesn't even
Starting point is 01:07:08 come in a box. You got to think outside of the box. Yeah. You got to think in terms of a space. And you know what? It's probably the easiest way to create a website on the internet. I've used it. Yeah, me too. And it was easy and like
Starting point is 01:07:26 super handsome yeah yeah yeah website comes out super handsome yeah it's not uh it's not for no this is you're not you're not gonna make an algo site no no no this is like beautiful functional uh e-commerce announced dates uh trog and blog. Trog, blog, schlog and blog. Now, if you want to head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch that thing, use the offer code SPY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. That's squarespace.com, enter code SPY. Woo!
Starting point is 01:08:04 Ow! Have you ever watched a movie so bad, you just needed to talk to somebody about it? Well, here at the Flophouse, we watch a bad movie and then talk about it. Yeah, you don't have to do anything. We'll watch it and we'll talk it. We do the hard work. Featuring the beautiful vocal talents of Dan McCoy. Stuart Wellington.
Starting point is 01:08:22 And me, America's Rascal, Elliot Kalin. New episodes every other Saturday at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts, dude. Bye-bye! Bye-bye! Welcome back, and thank you, Dan, for that scathing report. As you know, MaxFunDrive is coming up March 18th to March 29th, which has some folks pretty excited.
Starting point is 01:08:49 But as families around the world get ready to celebrate this season of giving, community, and quality podcasts, some are wondering if it's just too much. Are they, though? They are. Some people are all for comedy and culture, but with 45 shows offering hundreds of hours of bonus content, plus all the MaxFun meetups taking place around the world, some people think it's too much. While other people think it sounds totally awesome. I took my granddaughter to the mall to get her picture taken, and the mall pod fairy was short.
Starting point is 01:09:21 And I, you know, I'm just going to say it. I'm sorry, but everyone knows the Pot Fairy is tall. Well, I think we should just leave it there. Until next time, here's the news you need to know. Max Fun Drive runs from March 18th through 29th. Be sure to listen to all of your favorite podcasts. I know I will. Overheard. Overheard Overheard A segment where we hear things out there in the world
Starting point is 01:09:51 And we share them here on the podcast We always like to start with the guest Angie And in the break she pranked us so much Yeah I got a bucket of water on my head I fell asleep and she put shaving foam in my hand And then tickled my nose and I scratched I fell asleep and she put shaving foam in my hand and then tickled
Starting point is 01:10:05 my nose and I scratched I fell asleep in the sun and she wrote a dirty word in sunscreen on my tits
Starting point is 01:10:10 I freaking pranked you guys yeah yeah yeah I mean it's so easy she did a hot foot to me oh yeah while I was
Starting point is 01:10:19 you know the third base coach she egged the inside of my car uh huh yeah she egged the inside of my car uh huh yeah she egged the inside of my uterus
Starting point is 01:10:27 got to there I got a yeah I wanted to get some local overheard since I've been here so I got one this morning I was in a donut shop and there were two women
Starting point is 01:10:41 talking and the music between changing songs there was this perfect little window where i just heard one of them say the other one so how was the clown last night oh yeah i mean did you hear what they said no then the music went back up and i was trying to lean in but i feel like they could tell and i'm sure it was funny clowns are funny or scary bad i think it was bad yeah I think it was a sex thing. Oh.
Starting point is 01:11:06 It was the tone. Like, how was the clown? How was the clown last night? You wouldn't say that about a... Yeah. A clowning show? Yeah. Because you would know it would be bad?
Starting point is 01:11:19 Yeah. Absolutely. There's no point in asking. Yeah. Yeah, but if it was clown sex then it could have gone i mean it was probably still bad yeah but silly and upsetting yeah but you would want to know yeah yeah absolutely if i knew somebody was going on a date with a clown i would want to know yeah yeah i'd want to be the first to know. But like, okay, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:45 Who did they ask? How was the clown last night? So how was the clown last night? He was really nice. He didn't wear the clown suit. He wore the makeup. He wore the makeup and pulled some hangies out of different places.
Starting point is 01:12:02 Yeah. The waiters did not like him. And then when we drove back to his place, it was several of us in the same car. Yeah. He sent me a picture of his penis there. I had a red
Starting point is 01:12:18 nose on the end of it, of course. I'm kind of into it. I think this might be my thing. It squeaked when I squeezed it. He brought me flowers, which was nice. They sprayed me in the face. They sprayed me in the face, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:38 Flowns are the original pranksters. I just can't tell if he wants anything serious. Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine's an overseen This is great I saw a Truck that was a Dog walking company There were some dog walking company
Starting point is 01:12:59 And they had their slogan on the side And it said We'll poop out your dog And poop was in quotations as if i don't get it that's a good slogan yeah i can't think of one better for a dog walker but like the wording of it makes it kind of seem like we'll excrete your dog yeah oh yeah it's like uh some company that it's like a meat company and their slogan is nice to meet you. But you don't turn someone into meat.
Starting point is 01:13:31 Oh, boy. Like, it's, yeah, it doesn't make. I mean, maybe they've been listening to another brick in the wall too much. How can you be meat if you're not pudding first? Or the other way around. I think I'm going to listen to some... Some Floyd? Floyd tonight, yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:50 Why? I don't know, just to scare myself to sleep. Yeah, if you want to sleep with the lights on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spook. I'm trying... Is that the scariest music? No.
Starting point is 01:13:59 What's the scariest music? Like, outside of, like, music that's intentionally scary. Oh, okay. Like, death metal yeah like what's what's a form of like a song that's you know the one that's i always thought is spooky they always play it on halloween is uh i put a spell on you that song that's a pretty spooky song it's like a sexy spooky song yeah but then you're like oh i'm so conflicted yeah definitely gonna go with him but yeah oh yeah they used to always play because they would play in their opening of the overnight show they would do like nighttime songs and one of them was welcome to my nightmare by
Starting point is 01:14:38 alice cooper oh yeah just that one stanza of it scared me scary stanza um but uh yeah what is this that uh i put a spell on you apparently it was done as a joke oh really like he did a bunch of takes of it with his regular voice and they were like just yell it this time yeah do like a crazy spooky version yeah yeah it was his whole life then yeah yeah i mean like i guess alice cooper when i was a kid was another one that i was like i saw him on the muppet show and i was like why is this scary man on the show and uh same with the vincent price he would be on yeah he was scary too yeah and he was just an old scary man Speaking of the Muppets
Starting point is 01:15:28 I got a black eye Yesterday Oh yeah Just a little bit on the side And it's cause Margot and I were having a pillow fight And she missed and completely headbutted me And so when I posted it and someone said
Starting point is 01:15:43 Oh she headbutted you like Miss Piggy Was Miss Piggy's deal that she just got angry and someone i posted it and someone said oh she head-butted you like uh like miss piggy what was it was miss piggy's deal that she just got angry really fast yeah and she was jealous she'd karate chop she was very jealous of kermit talking to other yeah but human women not other puppets sure like she would always take it out on, like, a human woman. Sure. Like, but it's like, nothing was going to happen, man. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:11 It's a human and it's a puppet. Stop beating up Linda Ronstadt. Yeah, exactly. What's your overheard? Oh, my overheard is from the uh train station and i heard uh just often the the distance as i was going up the escalator i heard a guy saying to another guy hey nice jacket and the guy said you like jackets and the guy said i love jackets so you know just a couple of jacket enthusiasts. Yeah. Yeah. Take off your pants.
Starting point is 01:16:49 I'd love to meet someone with, like, jackets. Yeah, me too. Yeah, it's really nice that they found each other. I was on an escalator. Otherwise, I would have gone back down to see who it was. Save some for the rest of us. Yeah. I mean, I like jackets.
Starting point is 01:17:03 I don't know that I love them. Would I wear one if I didn't have to? You know, some people would. You know what? I will say that that's one thing I don't like about the summer. No jacket. Nowhere to put my... Dave, did you put on a jacket while we were talking about them?
Starting point is 01:17:19 I suppose I did. Just let me unzip this. Oh, there's a jacket underneath. I'd like having pockets every season. Yeah. In the summertime. Yeah. What about, you like a pocket?
Starting point is 01:17:36 Oh, I love a pocket. And pockets are not always a part of women's clothes. Oh, that's true. I've heard about that. Yeah, like they'll just sew like there's a pocket. That was a big thing for a long time in the front of your pants
Starting point is 01:17:48 and there weren't actually pockets and you would never think to check. I mean, but your body has a pocket. Yeah, so kind of use that and stop complaining.
Starting point is 01:17:59 Oh my God. You've got somewhere to keep your change. Yeah, sure. If you want us to use that as a pocket, we'll use it as a pocket. But you don't get to act weird when we do it. It's tough though in Winnipeg when it's so cold. And sometimes you're going to have to go in there and get stuff because it's going to go too high.
Starting point is 01:18:23 Hey, those are the rules, you know. Either we start making pockets on the clothing or that's what we have to do. I don't see a way around it. Yeah, would you get my bus pass out of there? Be a doula and get my bus pass out of there? Now... Use my keys and they've got one of those strings that clips and then snaps back. So I don't lose them.
Starting point is 01:18:49 Makes good sense. Now, in addition to our overheards, we have overheards sent in by listeners all over the land. If you want to, and the sea, and by air, absolutely. We prosper. You can send them in to spy at maximumfund. Absolutely. We prosper. You can send them into spy at maximumfund.org and this first one comes from it's a person who wanted to remain anonymous.
Starting point is 01:19:13 I don't know why this overheard is very benign. Maybe they were talking about where they used to work. Oh, maybe. This is in Edmonton. I was sitting next to some random people at university when a guy they knew approached them and said hi. They talked for a minute, then he walked away. After he left, one of the guys said to his friend, that's Brian.
Starting point is 01:19:36 He thinks he's better than us because his jacket is long. Yeah. Yeah. Like a trench coat? Yeah. Or a duster? Oh, oh boy yeah that's really uh status status coat it does let you know a lot about the person uh wearing a duster yeah like if you see you know duster like are they always leather or they can maybe like wax canvas i think they could be yeah i think they could be other material but it's that shape and that length. They go right to your ankles.
Starting point is 01:20:10 Yeah. Yeah. I just thought it meant they don't like their legs. I mean, it doesn't not mean that. Yeah. Why is it usually wearing shorts under there? What differentiates it from, like, a long trench coat? shorts under there.
Starting point is 01:20:24 What differentiates it from like a long trench coat? I think it's that there's like the fringe not fringe but it's like kind of like a tiny cape on the back. I know what you mean. Yeah it's like the does up here. Yeah it's like a cloth that kind of hangs
Starting point is 01:20:40 down. I think that's what makes it and they're dusty. Covered in dust. John Wayne, he would wear one. Oh, sure. If he weren't cancelled, which he is. John Wayne is cancelled. I'm boycotting John Wayne's work.
Starting point is 01:20:58 Including Crazy Lady Come Together. Yep. Including, oh boy, Rooster Cogburn oh good nice pull I know he won an Oscar for it
Starting point is 01:21:08 you know the oh boy what else was something Iwo Jima maybe he was
Starting point is 01:21:17 a general in that he was in oh boy what was Genghis Khan in a movie Hondo was he in Hondo
Starting point is 01:21:23 he may have been in Hondo was Hondo the one that Al Bundy watched once a year? Al Bundy's cancelled. Yeah. Oh, boy. Don't let Twitter
Starting point is 01:21:35 get a hold of those tapes. The Al Bundy tapes. Yeah. No, those are scary. It's chilling. Finally, Al Bundy in his own voice. Now, these next two, they got cusses in them, but I like both of them. We allow it.
Starting point is 01:22:00 Yeah. This one's from Carly in Toronto, Ontario. This overheard is from a couple years ago while walking in downtown Guelph on a Friday night. A couple of friends and I were walking to a bar when we happened to hear one drunk woman consoling another. The consoler was saying, look, you can try to help someone, but you can't. So suck a dick. Now, do you think they weren't actually saying go suck a dick they were like but you know yeah i think it's more like get out of here now go ahead yeah if you can't help someone
Starting point is 01:22:34 yeah like if you you can try but you know otherwise do it That's great I was just in downtown Guelph Oh yeah Beautiful Beautiful University City University Went to the rink Went to the mall
Starting point is 01:22:53 Attached to the rink They had a little sports hall of fame A lot of NHL referees Came from Guelph Oh yeah Beautiful skaters Those referees Oh yeah
Starting point is 01:23:04 They got a hop out of the way Yeah Do the hop They do the Run run run Stop Yeah They can stop on a dime
Starting point is 01:23:12 Oh yeah Oh man You know what Refs don't get enough Respect And if they miss a call Man go suck a dick Yeah
Starting point is 01:23:19 And this last one Comes from Josh In Austin I was eating at a diner The other night And an older couple A man and woman And this last one comes from Josh in Austin. I was eating at a diner the other night, and an older couple, a man and woman, was sitting one booth over. Not sure what the topic of their conversation was at the time, but I heard the man say, Yeah, Google that shit, girl. Make that motherfucker work for you.
Starting point is 01:23:41 Make Google work for you? Yeah. You got it. Yep. Might as well make it work for you do you ever go to uh your parents house and google isn't their home page their home page has become something that some website said do you want us to be your home page and they click yes every time they don't know how to get it back to google they do not yeah selloffvacations.com.
Starting point is 01:24:06 Pretty much, yeah. I just think of like back when there was another option, like you could have an AltaVista. Yeah. I loved AltaVista. I was kind of the AltaVista king. Yahoo had all those categories Yeah Or you could have canoe If you wanted to stay local If you were Canadian
Starting point is 01:24:35 Yeah Canoe.ca Canoe.ca Yeah Ask Jeeves Yeah there was Ask Jeeves Had to be in the form of a question Yeah that was weird.
Starting point is 01:24:45 Yeah. But you know what? At that point, any of them could have pulled ahead. Do I still own fuckjeeves.com? I think I maybe do. It was your idea. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, because of a fuck butler.
Starting point is 01:24:59 Oh. Yeah. That was an insult you came up with? No, it was an idea of like uh somebody who just kind of cleaned cleaned up and was there uh to you know to assist if you needed a you know a step up or something oh yeah oh like a valet yeah yeah yeah i think that those existed in some time in some place that like probably rich people had fuck butlers all around them that just like hold me like this. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:25:30 I got exposed to some sort of virus so I can't get in that position. Very shallow gene pool. Have you seen The Favorite? No. Is it good? It's been playing in the movie theater in my neighborhood.
Starting point is 01:25:46 For? six weeks. The one screen theater. Yeah. Every week I wonder if we're getting a new movie. We are not. The favorite forever. Yes, I saw it. It's fine.
Starting point is 01:25:59 Yeah. It's fine. It's fine. Is it going to win? Is it going to... At the time this is coming out it has already won best picture for them yep and uh best uh stunts oh i didn't know that they had that category they added it for me why don't they have that i don't know that's a good question it's like because there's been some pretty good stunts this year.
Starting point is 01:26:27 And some good pranks. Oh, man. This year's been amazing for pranks. And you know. Yeah, I know. I appreciate it. I'm not going to ask for it, but. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, the phone number is 1-844-779-7631.
Starting point is 01:26:47 That's 1-UGH-SPYPOD-1, like these people have. Hello, folks. This is Dominic from Los Angeles. I just had an overheard. It was two teenage boys talking to each other, and one of them just said, You know, like the biggest problem I see with Reddit
Starting point is 01:27:08 is just knowing so much. Okay, off I go. It's true. You do, you learn so much. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:27:17 it's my, every time I go on Reddit, my brain grows like a, like a space creature. Yeah. You can't wear a helmet when you're reading reddit or a tight hat um you go on reddit yeah i do i like reddit what's your my favorite ongoing uh gag on reddit is if you go on late at night sometimes people will post they'll be like hey all the moderators are asleep. Time to post smooth Yoda.
Starting point is 01:27:46 It's just a picture of Yoda, but he's all smooth. In what group? Just on the front page. Oh, yeah. It has to belong to a subreddit. Maybe Yoda memes. Yeah. Yeah, I like checking out what's new in memes, you know?
Starting point is 01:28:04 Yeah, keep it on top of your memes. Yeah. And roast me. Oh, I like checking out what's new in memes, you know? Yeah, keep it on top of your memes. Yeah. And roast me. Oh, I love that. Oh, it's roast me. People post a picture of themselves? Yeah, with a little sign that says roast me. And man, the roasts are savage.
Starting point is 01:28:19 But it's all fair because the person said roast me. Yeah, they said roast me. Oh, I want to check that one out. I like that. That's everybody who's listening's homework. Go to Reddit slash roast me. Have you ever asked to be roasted? No, I couldn't handle it.
Starting point is 01:28:33 No? No. Have you ever been roasted because like just in a comedy show? No. Really? Have you? Yeah. What do they say?
Starting point is 01:28:40 Oh, what didn't they say? I just had my 30th birthday in December. Congratulations. And I did it as a roast for myself. Oh, really? I had a bunch of comedians. Was there a theme? It was just roasting.
Starting point is 01:28:51 Oh, like throughout the night? Throughout the night. Well, in general, I know that. Because I know what I'm thinking. Okay. Ooh. Do you want to go first? No, I'm joking.
Starting point is 01:29:01 The big thing a lot of people make jokes about me being like a little boy, being like Bart Simpson. Yeah, I see it now, yeah. So at the time, there was like a lot of, my partner hosted the roast, and he felt the brunt of everything. Your romantic partner? Yeah, everybody was a lot, in romance and law, everyone was a lot meaner to him. roasted the roast and he felt the brunt of everything. Your romantic partner? Yeah. Everybody was a lot, in romance and law, everyone was a lot
Starting point is 01:29:29 meaner to him than they were to me. Oh, okay. I felt, you know? But there was a lot of like, So he got a lot of collateral damage on this one.
Starting point is 01:29:36 Oh, because his partner is a little boy? Yeah, because he always wanted to fuck Bart Simpson, that sort of thing. Sure, sure, sure, sure. I get it. We all kind of did. Who did it? Yeah, what a rascal. Remember Bart Simpson, that sort of thing. Sure, sure, sure, sure. I get it. We all kind of did.
Starting point is 01:29:46 Who did it? Yeah, what a rascal. Remember in the movie when he saw his penis? Was that the movie? Yeah, that was the movie. I know what I'm doing when I get up in the morning and get dressed and get my hair cut, you know? Yeah. That Bart Simpson thing going on.
Starting point is 01:29:58 Yeah. And the pranks. I mean, it all fits. That's true. Yeah, you're like, I know who I am. Who the hell are you? I went to a, on Valentine's Night,
Starting point is 01:30:09 I went to see the, oh, I should have just talked about this today instead of nothing. I went to a talk at the Jewish
Starting point is 01:30:17 Writers Festival. Mike Reese, that guy who's written for the Simpsons from day one, which seems crazy. That is great. That you would
Starting point is 01:30:24 just stay there in spite of it all. Yeah, written for the simpsons from day one which seems crazy that's great that you would just uh stay there in spite of it all yeah and just like be there for how long 30 years or whatever yeah and he uh but one thing he said was about how they made the simpsons movie he worked on that in 2007 and this must have been an old speech. Cause he was like, like it was, he's like, well, we're going to wrap it up. Is it 2007?
Starting point is 01:30:48 Cause he was like, Oh, it was the only thing anyone, like we worked on it for two years. The only thing anyone remembers from it is the Bart Simpson or spider, spider, spider. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:00 Oh yeah. Heartbreaking. Um, but, uh, he said, Oh, it was so great working on it. Made a bunch of money. And, uh, he said, oh, it was so great working on it.
Starting point is 01:31:06 Made a bunch of money. And, uh, you know, I loved it so much. We'll probably keep doing it for, you know, we would make another movie today and then two more.
Starting point is 01:31:16 And then, but like it was lost on me because it was like, well, they haven't made another movie. It was 12 years ago. So what? That's crazy. This guy's worked for the Simpsons for another movie. It was 12 years ago. Yeah. So what? That's crazy. This guy's worked for The Simpsons for 30 years.
Starting point is 01:31:28 So 12 years is just a drop in the bucket. But he knows that there's been no second movie in the second half of The Simpsons run. I think you're right. I think it was an old speech. Yeah. And he said throughout his speech, he's like as as i give this speech over the years things i say get uh become politically uh incorrect right but that was just something that was just factually incorrect he said that like he full-on admitted yeah he's
Starting point is 01:31:58 like this speech used to be longer but as we go you can't say things anymore. Right. Jesus, what was it? Is he getting canceled? Are we going to cancel Mike Reese? Put him on the same wagon as John Wayne? Send it out of town? Yeah. Next phone call, right? We're still doing that? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:18 Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Cam calling from Ottawa. I haven't overheard. My girlfriend and I were just out for dinner on Valentine's and we happened to overhear somebody very loudly yelling across the restaurant, I'm 17, you're 10, I know better than you. Nana's gonna die. Alright, that's it. Thanks, bye. Oh man, take it from a teen. Teens know. They know everything, yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:43 Teens know, you know. They're yeah teens know you know they're always the first to know that Nana's gonna die yeah was he is this was he at a
Starting point is 01:32:51 did he say he was at about like a restaurant on Valentine's Day for like a romantic dinner and there was a 17 year old
Starting point is 01:32:59 and a 10 year old dining across the restaurant I don't know they came in together and a 10-year-old dining across the restaurant. They came in together, and one was stacked on the other's shoulders, and then they said, I'm not 10, I'm 30, and I look like Bart Simpson. And you don't know what's going to happen to Nana.
Starting point is 01:33:27 Yeah, that would be disheartening if you thought that you brought somebody to a nice restaurant and then a teenager and a kid showed up. And they're like, I want spaghetti. Did you ever go on, as a teenager, did you ever go on dates to a restaurant? Yeah. Like, as a, let's go to a like a like what you thought a grown-up date was i think i went with more like groups of people and we would go to some place that was like wacky enough that we could get away with being there right like uh moxie's you know something like that which now you couldn't now it's gone upscale oh my yeah there's no good for teens yeah
Starting point is 01:34:05 that's too good for teens now but back in the day you used to have like a car coming out of the wall or something oh yeah so it was like ah teens get in here i think i just went to like uh you know for uh to like a cafe oh yeah sure, sure. For like coffee? Or like something to eat? Yeah. You were up a level. I was just moxie. Yeah, I didn't go on ironic dates. The date wasn't ironic.
Starting point is 01:34:39 It was just that was the place that we had access to. How about you? Moe's Tavern? Oh. I feel like I just would make out down by the river. I don't know that we got a restaurant date. The most formal one I remember going to the bowling alley.
Starting point is 01:35:00 They just dropped us off at the bowling alley. Bowling for two. That's pretty good that's not bad I remember going to like a movie that for sure I didn't want to see the movie but it was the only
Starting point is 01:35:13 whatever movie that we could get into it was the favorite yeah I think it was it was the equivalent of the favorite and uh
Starting point is 01:35:21 that was somewhere you could get dropped off for a date but I think I saw a movie. I feel like I saw a movie that had Michael Keaton in it, but it wasn't funny. And it wasn't Batman.
Starting point is 01:35:32 And it wasn't Batman. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a weird. The paper? Something. Yeah, it was like he was, I don't know, a writer or something. Yeah. Yeah. I just remember being like, well, this is it.
Starting point is 01:35:49 Time to make your move. Here's your final overheard. Hi, Dave, Graham, and Gus. This is Casey from Arkansas. We were having breakfast the other day, and my husband made sunny-side-up eggs. Normally, we don't do that, but they were actually, well, he cooked them, and they were really good. And our 4-year-old son, I've always taught him to thank whoever made the meal, and so he looks at his dad, and he says, Dad, these eggs, they, these eggs, they're just,
Starting point is 01:36:19 these eggs are making me crazy. Anyways, that's my overheard. Yeah, well, maybe you got an egg allergy. They're making you crazy. Anyways, that's my overheard. Yeah, well, maybe you got an egg allergy. They're making you crazy. Oh, yeah, sure. How do you like your eggs? Do you eat eggs? I eat eggs.
Starting point is 01:36:34 You like throwing them all over the school. I like them scrambled like the little damn boy I am. A lot of ketchup on there. Yeah, that's how I like them. Or I like omelets, too. Sure. Yeah. I think, yeah. them. Or I like omelets too. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. I think, yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:47 You know what she likes to eat the most? My shorts. Cowabunga. Cowabunga, everyone. I wish we knew we could have been making party citizen jokes the whole time. I'm so sorry. You can understand why I don't tell everybody. Oh, boy, but it's great. Is that what you were. You can understand why I don't tell everybody what I mean.
Starting point is 01:37:06 Oh, boy, but it's great. Is that what you were going to say when you were like, I know what I'd roast you? No, of course not. What I was going to say was going to get me canceled. Oh! Join the ranks of Billy Crystal. I want to know after the, can I know after the show? No, I wasn't going to say anything. So you thoroughly, you enjoy the roast.
Starting point is 01:37:23 I love it. Yeah, I do. I really like it. Especially if you're a comedian and with your comedian pals because it's sort of like a... I think it's endearing a lot of the time. It depends how you write the roast. You go to some roast shows and it's just like, this guy has an STD. Forever to roast and those kind of suck.
Starting point is 01:37:43 But if you get those ones where it's like. Oh this person sees me. You know. Yeah. Comedians are observant. They're smart people. So you can get these ones that are like. Wow.
Starting point is 01:37:55 That's something I really need to work on. Have you ever. You've been to a roast. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't. I've been to roast. I've been haven't. I've been to roast. I've been on the dais of roast.
Starting point is 01:38:08 On the dais, on the dais. Didn't you get roasted on the dais? Yeah, I guess I did. And I don't remember liking it. You didn't enjoy the feeling? No, I remember just being like, exactly what you said. Like, that's something I gotta work on. Yeah, has a beard.
Starting point is 01:38:24 Let's make fun of him for has a beard looks like one of them wearing a beard yeah yeah exactly yeah yeah maybe they weren't very good roasts then
Starting point is 01:38:32 no I mean if I want I'm gonna get roasted I want to be roasted by you know Lisa Lampanelli oh sure yeah Jeffrey Ross
Starting point is 01:38:38 yeah yeah the Roastmaster General yeah I want it I want it done by the best yeah yeah but they gotta also know you pretty well, I feel.
Starting point is 01:38:47 I think Jeffrey Ross at this point knows me pretty well. Yeah, Graham's pretty well known. Yeah. And, you know, Jeffrey Ross, we keep in touch. He came and did jokes at my prison, my women's prison. Is that a thing he did? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:04 I do like a concept. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I do like a concept. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He also went to the border, and he did a show at the border for half people from Texas, half people from Mexico. And just really handed their asses to him. He'll roast both sides of the border. He doesn't care. He's Jeff Ross. He's Jeff Ross. Oh, man. Angie, this brings'll roast both sides of the border. He doesn't care. He's Jeff Ross. He's Jeff Ross.
Starting point is 01:39:25 Oh, man. Angie, this brings us to the end of the show. Is there anything that you'd like to promote? Where can people find you online
Starting point is 01:39:33 if they want to find you and roast you? Yeah. All right. People can follow me on Instagram at Angie St. Mars with no spaces
Starting point is 01:39:43 or periods or anything like that. And oh my God, please follow me on Twitter. I'm too old and I got late to the game in Twitter. So I have like 170 followers and it's...
Starting point is 01:39:56 We'll see if we can't get that. Yeah, we're trying to get out of there because I'm trying to get out of Facebook for good, you know? Okay. But it's a hard transition when you post something on Facebook and immediately all these people
Starting point is 01:40:04 like it and interact and someone's aunt says something really bad right off the top, but in Twitter, it's just radio silence. If you want to write to Angie about prank tips, she'll set you in the right course. Yeah, if you're ever in Winnipeg and you got some unfinished business and you need some help taking care of it, come see me. That's pretty good. Thank you so much for being our guest. Thanks for having me.
Starting point is 01:40:33 We don't have anything to play. The Max Fund Drive is coming up in a couple of weeks. Get your finances in order. Yep. It's a good time of year to do that anyway. This is the time of year coming up when you can support the show and get something in return for it. Yeah. I saw this year's enamel pin.
Starting point is 01:40:51 Pretty good? Mm-hmm. All right. Did you see that? I haven't seen it. Oh, that's good. I'm excited. It's goblin-based.
Starting point is 01:40:58 Yeah. Yes. And everybody out there, thank you so much for listening. If you like the show, please tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and Culture. Artist Owned.
Starting point is 01:41:27 Listener Supported.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.