Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 582 - Sarah Szloboda

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

Comedian Sarah Szloboda returns to talk living in London, driving to America, and Easter.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 582 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who I haven't seen this early in quite some time, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, it's 10 in the morning. I'm not usually even, I'm usually just cracking open my eyes. Cracking open your first brewski. That's right.

Sparking up my first cigarette of the day. Yeah, your first spleef. You wake it, you bake it. Exactly. I'm always up these. I'm usually up at six. I do a tough mutter. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's right. Yeah, you go under the barbed wire, over the hay bale, play the gladiator. Yep. Up the skirt. Yeah. This is a weird photography component of this tough mutter. Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast, doesn't live in Canada anymore. Now lives overseas in the UK.

Yeah. But back here visiting, it's Sarah Silbota. Hi. Hello. Good day. Oh, yeah. Here it is. Pip, pip.

Did I pick up an accent? She must have. Yeah. I mean, it's subtle. You can barely notice it. In the case of the Madonnas. Madonner. The Madonners.

Do you want to get to know us? Oh, yeah. Get to know us. Now, I've picked you up a bit of an accent myself. What accent do you think that is? What accent do you think this is? What accent do you think that is? Well, I was hit in the head. Sarah, you're living in London.

Yeah, London. Is it so exciting? It's pretty cool. It doesn't rain as much as I was told. People are just as passive-aggressive. Yeah. It's pretty cool in that way. It's nice. I've been there now

just a week shy of a year. 51 weeks. 51 weeks. Do you count the time that you're here as time there? I think, yeah. 50 weeks. Your banking time. Exactly. Accruing.

Oh, sorry. Yes, accruing. Yes, queuing up for the Lori bank holiday. With a biscuit. Yes, yes. What prompted the move? I moved over. I work in advertising now. And then I moved over with my agency there.

And I don't know, proximity to europe and haven't seen much of it and canada felt far away i'll be back but it just was an excuse to to work and then travel a bit more have you traveled like have you gone all around yeah yeah like flights are crazy cheap so i went to italy for 14 pounds or something oh wow uh if you're a canadian that's what like 25 canadian dollars too much. Too much. I'm out. Yeah, I'm out. I was doing $14 in my head. I can do Domino's for less than that.

It's the equivalent of like a two-for-one pizza or something. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. I like it over there. Yeah. Yeah. It's like an adjustment.

I think I thought it would be some weird storybook thing or like I've been, I I visited there for, you know, five days at a time or something. Yeah, it just feels very touristy, but it's not really like that. There's just like a seething weird underbelly that takes some getting used to just like everybody's so polite, but so so angry. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody said like England really is a country that's a country that needs to be at war with somebody otherwise there's there's just anger yeah fights at the pub yeah yeah all the time and with all the brexit stuff it just feels like everybody's angry at everybody

why i don't know maybe it's an island thing i thought yeah i think i don't know i they keep trying it and i i can't keep up with it they're on their own as far as i'm concerned yeah um will they or won't they yeah that's true real sam and diane so britain is sam or diane a norm probably somehow yeah she has scotland's norm um uh what's it like to work in advertising um it's cool it's like it takes a shine off of like thinking of things creatively a little bit when it's for advertising um i was doing it here i think the last time i was on the show i had like tim hortons as a client and just uh that it just took the shine off of thinking thinking of things in a creative way about a cookie the amount of times you would say the word cookie just even discussing it it just would stop meaning anything

i mean what do the cookies mean? I didn't even know that Tim Hortons had cookies. Yeah. Well, that's, I guess, where we came in trying to make you know that. Well, now you know. Yeah. Yeah. It worked.

Yeah. You want to talk about a cookie journey. It's like you have that one hour phone call. Yeah. But it's good. It's overall good. I mean, it's kind of a bit of both make a salary yeah that's kind of the only trade-off of why you do it i think yeah yeah yeah but it's not like uh how how much you get a bunch of free cookies definitely yeah free cookies and like is there as much drinking and advertising as Mad Men has led me to believe?

Yeah, I think it's probably a trade-off for like modest salaries. So if they bring around a drink cart with like Pabst in it or something, you know, that's a perk. There's less like shaking cocktails. Oh, more Pabst. Yeah. I like Pabst. Yeah. Yeah.

Whatever the equivalent is over, I don't know. Well, yeah. Pabst won Yeah. I like Pabst. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever the equivalent is over, I don't know. Well, yeah. Pabst won a blue ribbon. That's true. Just with that one time though. I must have, yeah. I've been milking it ever since. That's true.

And it was back in the day when it was like, you know, how many, how many other beers were there? Yeah. Like we had to carry all these beers on a cart and, you know, we died of dysentery on the way. It's like a 4-H competition, I kind of picture it as. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A fair. They accidentally, the cow was supposed to get the blue ribbon and they gave it to the paps.

I can't remember. The 4-Hs? Well. Horse. Hay. Habitat. Humanity. Horse.

Hay. Habitat. Humanity. I'm trying to think of what the equivalent of Pabst is over in Britain. And I think it's Stella Artois, isn't it? Oh, maybe. No, Stella Artois is like fancy. No, it's fancy over here, over there. Where are the commercials?

They use a knife. There's a special knife they use yeah to get rid of the little bit of foam on it looks like a like a subways mayonnaise knife kind of thing yeah but like uh over there stellar twice like is considered kind of a lowbrow i think yeah you see it in pubs all the time like even the the crappiest ones yeah yeah i'm trying to think i'm not a much of a beer drinker but everybody's like noon one o'clock people are just filling the pubs everybody loves a pint have you been are you is that part of your day at all do they go back to work after that yeah okay oh yeah yeah and everybody calls it like a cheat like sneak out

for a cheeky pint but it stops being cheeky when it's every day and they're like they love nando's too it's like a cheeky nando's it's not cheeky so they're basically having a night out but at noon yeah they're having like beer and then eating eating a half a chicken definitely dipping it in sauce just coming back to work so it would be like if here people were like let's go go to swish la for lunch every day have a beer and a swish la just come back fall asleep at your desk that's it oh wow yeah um is that part of the corporate culture do you have to go to the no no but i think um i have some friends that don't drink over there too and i think it's a bit more of a struggle there because drinking is just so ingrained.

Yeah. It's just such a thing every day. Every day. Yeah. And not necessarily everybody having a problem kind of drinking, but somehow just. But it helps. Yeah. It helps to have a problem.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it would help you. You'd blend right in. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really not painting it to be a very good place, but it's good. But they're like, those are some. Yeah. it's foggy yeah yeah yeah is it as foggy as you'd hoped no no no it's hot there right

now actually really um you know easter weekend happened just not that long ago and it was like 25 degrees or something and that's my favorite is uh in a place like london everybody will just head to the tiny little parks and then have these barbecues where the smoke just blows around into some family's face. Yeah, it's a classist. I don't know. It only goes downwind in class. Yeah, that's right. Wherever the poorest family is, that's where the smoke finds them in the face. Somehow a chimney sweep family is all's where the smoke finds them in the face somehow a chimney sweep family is all i

picture just covered in so yeah what's the chimney sweep scene like over there i haven't cracked it yet it's tough to get into tough to get into yeah surprisingly yeah what's uh what's your favorite like thing that you've kind of discovered about london is there like a restaurant a neighborhood a museum nando's i have had a lot of nando's like a lot of nando's weekly nando's weekly nando's i have a card um loyalty card i've earned a free chicken it's uh so nando's was a nice discovery. Have you had Nando's? No, no. It kind of came in after I

veg-o'd. Oh, right. I've had two Nando's. Is it good? I don't know. It smells really good. When I walk past, I'm like... It's hard to keep that chicken moist enough.

Yeah. Can they just serve it to you in a sealed bag of liquid or something? I beg them to, but they won't do it. No, I had it once years ago. Yeah. When it was like, there's one by the planetarium. Oh, cool. And that's gone.

It's gone. Nando's no more. Yeah. And then I got it on the first time I used DoorDash, the food delivery service. Yeah. I saw,

oh, they do Nando's. I'll do that. But they jack up the price on everything and it was like 60 bucks to have dinner for two at Nando's. Yeah.

Yeah, is Nando's someplace that you... It doesn't travel well it's all yeah it was so steamy is it a place that you sit in and eat or you just do okay people do but they're everywhere they're truly like really one on every kind of main street high street high street i don't want to say that yeah come on we know yeah yeah uh queuing out the door for the nando yeah do you find that weird to have to like make those tiny little language adjustments some of them i do just because i like people will properly like look at me and not know what i'm saying so i've just

kind of adopted some of those right condom condom like please sir what do you mean oh yeah what is that it's like a johnny somebody's like i need a johnny that's what you say there johnny well i have learned that the hard way because of billy yeah bobby's carrying a billy and wearing a johnny somebody's talking about an assistant they had that helped with the rental process, and his name was Johnny, and he took care of everything. And I shouted out, I need a Johnny. And then that's when I discovered from someone else that I just interrupted the conversation to ask for a condom, basically. That's pretty good. Um,

uh, that's pretty good. Um, yeah, there's like little ones that I didn't, uh, that I learned over time, like a stroller is a pram and, uh,

under shirt. Yeah. Trousers are like pants or underwear there. Oh yeah. Pants are underwear. That's right. Yeah. Oh,

underwear is pants. Yeah. Yeah. If you're walking around in your pants then yeah yeah trouserless yeah but they i feel like that's the one that they should let go of because everywhere else in the world pants are pants yeah yeah they won't though they won't stubborn the biggest one for me was uh all right so you come in they're like all right you all right and if i said that here like if

somebody asked me that i thought it would look like i had like a cry on the toilet and came back and they're like you all right you okay there it's just like you good like how's it going like no almost no response necessary but right away it really took some adjusting because it was like y'all right it's like yes i am all right. Yeah, I'm fine. Actually, I just snuck out for a sneaky Nando. You caught me. My face is super steamy. Yeah, my makeup's running because I had such a spicy Nando's.

Thanks for asking. Do they do a spicy Nando's? Oh, yeah. There's a whole, it's like a temperature dial of how hot you want to go. You know what, maybe I need to visit Nando's in person. Yeah. Because the Brits, they like spice, which you wouldn't think they would. Yeah, they love, like there's curry houses everywhere. Yeah.

But they're kind of bland, like, yeah. White people curry. It's white people curry. Right. But, yeah, I don't know. I mean, that's kind of maybe the european influence a bit like you'll see more shops like that but um i have no idea you know what's post-brexit because like all the good food there is not british food

like nobody's like tonight i'm craving british yeah let's get some blood sauce curry has more to do with the colonial yeah yeah but i but definitely uh but the nandos that's what is that portuguese yes yeah yeah they're gonna lose they're gonna lose a lot of their favorite things like cheese and yeah because yeah everything british was just like kind of a boiled meat yeah yeah yeah yeah like beige various shades of beige yeah um and you uh since you moved did you get a dog or i brought my dog from toronto yeah yeah he's uh my pride and joy that's fun yeah yeah you all right i just i'm crying if you can't I just heard you say your dog was your

Brian Joyce I'm wondering if everything's alright alright alright yeah he's great he just recently actually we had to take all his teeth out okay

so is he alright how old is he 11 we had to take all his teeth out. Okay. So is he all right? Is he all right? How old is he? 11. Oh, boy. Yeah. I got him, and he was kind of ancient.

But he was a street dog, so I guess there wasn't much, you know, preventative stuff. No. They held on to them as long as they could. They don't have walk-in clinics for dogs. No, no. So what do they do? They take out the teeth, and then do they put in yeah no it's just all bits and no kibble from here on out one little like chomper up front which he like knows how to use yeah well yeah if you only have the one then yeah you adapt yeah but he

smiles sometimes we'll just find him staring and smiling, but his mouth kind of open. And it's just a black hole in there. But he smells way better. And he's actually got more pep in his step because I think it's probably a low-grade toothache all the time. Yeah. And it's just soft food now? Just soft food. So I wet his kibble so that it's not a euphemism. I took him around and wet his kibble so that it's not a euphemism.

I took him around and wet his kibble. I really wet my kibble. No, I do that too. Yeah. Yeah. How's Grandpa's tooth situation? They're okay. But we just.

Not as many as they used to be. We cook him chicken. Yeah. And we keep it all in the freezer. And then like let it thaw for a day in the fridge. Yeah. But it's still cold. So we just pour warm water on all of his food before he eats it.

I did that while it was healing. I made him a little stew. And then froze the stew. Nice. Yeah. But he's doing all right? He's doing great. He likes London?

He loves London. I think there's just so many things to sniff and park. It's actually super dog friendly too. Surprisingly. You can bring him on all the public transportation and in pubs and he loves pubs. Really? You can bring a dog into a pub? Pretty much. I've brought him to fancier places.

Is it considered cheeky to bring him? Yeah. Always. But took him to like a fancier place And they served him on a little silver dish What? Just a little bit A little bit

Too much I think it's just the right amount Like a really fancy Nando Yeah My pride and joy Yeah I took him to the fanciest Nando But when they brought out that silver tray

Did you think that was the best thing you'd ever seen? Yeah And a little like Like weird ball For him to play with too under the table. What did they serve him? It was like a biscuit. It was just like a dog biscuit, but put on a silver dish. I love it. And you were like, he does not have teeth. This is pre- Can you soak the biscuit for 20 minutes? Yes, right away.

Yes. That really soaks my biscuit. And how's your flat? Oh, the flat is good. Yeah. I recently moved in with my boyfriend. It kind of expedited things. We were going to move in together, but I had moved into another place, and my neighbor tried to break through my wall

with a hammer okay uh under what uh circumstance i had a like breakdown of some sorts okay i moved in like three weeks before and then uh just progressively through the night like i think just was like using something and then started banging on the windows banging on the door trying to get in. And then when the police finally came and arrested him, they found him in his, uh, like the adjoining wall with holes in it,

holding a hammer. Oh, so he's, he's gone mad. He's gone quite mad. Yeah. I think he's gone quite mad. Um,

yeah. So, wow. Uh, was that so terrifying? Very terrifying. Did you leave that place or did your boyfriend move? No, that guy was her boyfriend.

That was him. He just smashed down the wall. Haven't you seen Notting Hill? We expanded our place. Now it's a two bed. That's kind of the dream. That is the plot of Notting Hill if I remember it correctly. I don Yeah. That's kind of the dream. Yeah. Yeah. That is the plot of Notting Hill. If I remember it correctly.

I don't. That's it. I haven't seen it. What's the guy smashes down the wall between the two places and then they fall in love. Yeah. Oh yeah. That guy was, uh,

Oh wait. Reese Ephens. Yes. Yeah. I can't pronounce it. Yeah. I haven't seen Notting Hill. Is it Julia Roberts

And Hugh Grant Hugh Grant Hugh Grant Yeah he works In a bookstore And then she pops In the bookstore And then she

She doesn't know She's famous And then I remember He pretends to be A reporter She's a movie star Or something Like a big movie star

And then he pretends To be a reporter On her press tour In London And he makes it That he works For house and or horse and hound magazine while interviewing her which could be a magazine yeah could be i mean that's is it supposed to be a joke in the movie that there's no way there could be a magazine called horse and i think or that they wouldn't be at a press tour for a julia roberts movie like what what coverage are they doing

really did she play herself in that movie i think like some version of herself that's great she definitely plays herself in oceans 12 does she yeah because it's the worst the worst device in the history of movies where they're like hmm if we use this heist one thing we could do is, because this character, Tess, looks so much like the real actress, Julia Roberts. So it exists in a world where Julia Roberts and Tess live. And they look so much alike and are the exact same age that maybe we can fool Bruce Willis, who is not part of our team, but is a real actor. Is that really in that movie wow wow i've only seen i've seen the oceans 11 and then 13 i never thought those are the wow you missed it yeah yeah i've seen eight uh no no i hear it's okay yeah i heard it was okay that's what i heard i'll see it yeah i mean I nearly watched it on a plane, but then I didn't.

Yeah, what'd you go for instead? Just closing my eyes. That's my early review of Ocean's 8. Best picture nominee. Just closing my eyes. The Critics' Choice Award winner. Just closing my eyes uh so that's exciting living uh living in a new flat with the

yeah a new bow yeah is he a british he's a british citizen but he's canadian oh okay yeah did you meet him in canada met him in canada we actually dated in canada and then we either broke up and then rekindled. I know. Very romantic. It's very romantic. Did he go over there for you? No, but timing wise, I got my visa and then he worked for a company that both their offices were in Toronto and London. So we kind of came over there at the same time, but we're good buddies.

He was my dog babysitter. Yeah. Balto brought us together, really, that toothless bastard. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's a real sweet story. It's nice. It is nice.

Good guy. Yeah. Yeah. And is he in advertising? No, he works for the Canadian pension plan. Why do they have offices in London? I guess they're like the investor pensions various places. I don't know if I, yeah.

Yeah. He works for them. Yeah. Have you said too much? I don't know. I don't know. I barely know what he does. Well, the queen's on all our money.

That's true. Yeah. The band. For people who don't live in Canada. Yeah. The band is on all our money. Yeah. Well, whatever.

Like, whatever's the current. Yeah. Adam Lambert. Adam Lambert is currently sometimes paul rogers is the honor did you get an old two dollar bill paul rogers will be on it do you know that they were that they're like jockeying for a sequel to you mean raps anywhere it's just the band continuing i want to see that movie. I also want to see that movie. Really? For real, yeah. Oh. Because Brian May, like, they own all the rights.

Well, Willie Ramone. He was in that movie too much, I think. There's a lot of long shots of his face in the first one. That's why, that's the only reason that movie got made. Because they own the rights to the music. So they were like, it has to be about the be about they didn't bury the rights with them no but usually the band doesn't own the rights to the music it's like the label or something thing right like only a few of them own all the music yeah it's like peter chris isn't allowed to play with them anymore no i was speaking

of burying people with things i saw this question on on the internet and someone was asking when you die if you die and you have braces oh yeah i saw that too they take the braces off before your funeral and i was just thinking like when in have you ever gone to a funeral where they have... Like, they make up the... First of all, it's an open casket, and I want to see his teeth. Yeah. Show his teeth. Yeah, make him smile.

Smile or... Like... Just keep the retainer in. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we'll take you off your braces off your braces but you gotta keep the retainer for the next 100 years yeah that will exude you and then you should have perfectly straight yeah i want to see a skeleton remain with just a full smile and and uh braces on it

oh yeah that'd be fun at a dentist yeah it exists yeah but that would be like a fun decoration like to have the full skeleton in there for Halloween at a dentist do teeth make it through? like everything else goes when you're buried right? but do teeth stay? teeth stay some people think they keep growing

well no I guess that's people think hair and nails keep growing no one thinks your teeth keep growing because they've stopped. Cause then they start up again when you die. Oh, I wish, I wish teeth were like nails or hair. You would have to like trim them.

Well, it's like, uh, isn't that like, that's why a rat, yeah. A rat has to chew all the time. Otherwise their teeth will like literally just go right through their,

their own skull. Cool. Yeah. It is pretty cool. Yeah. It seems pretty cool. Yeah. Seems like a real accident of design. You've got to constantly nod these things down, or they're going to grow through your own head.

Okay, cool. Thanks. Same with beavers. Yeah. Although ours are, you have to brush them all the time, or they'll fall out. Yeah. So, not a great design there.

I thought you were talking about beavers still. Yeah. You have to brush. all the time or they'll fall out. Yeah. So, not a great design there either. I thought you were talking about beaver's filth. Yeah. You have to brush. You brush your beaver. You all right? You all right? Sorry, I was just brushing my beaver. Can you tell?

I want it to fall out. But yeah, it's like, was that, is that always the case or only because we like live in a time where there's like sugar and everything or would your teeth just fall out well people probably just had shitty teeth back in the day like but i don't know when brushes were like or modern dentistry is probably a pretty new thing yeah right yeah yeah yeah absolutely but like i just wonder if our teeth are less robust because we're just like constantly putting garbagey stuff yeah i wonder i don't know i think it's still like like i know our teeth are better now but uh you know old people know, a drawing of an old person from memory.

I'm like, I'm making something up from the Renaissance. I know those drawings of old people. They'd be toothless. Yes. Like that's a pretty widespread thing of old people. Is it true that we get like fluoride in our water? I just had this memory. Some cities do. Some cities do it. And it's like to help your teeth. That's a pretty widespread thing of old people. Is it true that we get like fluoride in our water? I just had this memory. Some cities do.

Some cities do it. And it's like to help your teeth. That's the idea. Or control your brain. That's the other side of it. Yeah. We don't have it here. No.

Okay. Was it, is it Alex Jones that says the fluoride is making frogs switch sex and that that's making the frogs gay no like literally turning them the opposite sex of what they are and then uh I thought but I thought I heard like a snippet of him saying it's making the frogs oh sure I mean I mean he's probably got a different he's got to fill 20 hours a day on this show, I presume. Yeah, so something's making frogs switch genders. Something's making them gay. It could be fluoride.

It could be, you know, math. Voting rights, et cetera. El Nino. Yeah, it's El Nino. What happened to El Nino? I don't know. Bring it back. Yeah, bring it back. yeah it's on you know what happened el nino yeah i think it's sort of uh buried under the crazy way that like it's like everything's just going crazy at all times and you can't

really blame it on el nino anymore right forgot about dre yeah el nino el Nino was like the Dr. Dre of our time. My generation's Dre. Yeah, who's this generation's Dre? Who are they gonna be warned to not forget about? Eminem. Oh yeah, yeah, that makes sense. And then the following generation? Halsey. There you go.

Do your kids like Halsey? I don't know who she is, but I see her on the radio. I think she's my i don't know who she is but i see her uh i think she's here on the radio i think she's uh my kids don't like anyone my kids don't know any singers um there's a new taylor swift song out today oh it's it's rough is it well it's like a it'll be a popular song but there's just like a few lines in there that I'm like, yeah, yeah. There's a part, I was like,

is there a part where she raps? Well, there's a part where she, well, I mean, every other line is, it's a duet with the lead singer of panic at the disco. Oh yeah. Oh boy.

What does she say? Like the refrain is like, and there's a lot of cool chicks out there. Oh boy. And then he says, and there's a lot of lame dudes out there. Oh, boy. And then he says, and there's a lot of lame dudes out there. Oh. But, like, we're recording.

I'm recording this on the day the song was released. By the time this comes out, everyone loves this song. Song of the summer. Absolutely. And then there's a part in the middle where there's, like. Where she really pushes. She does her elbows up. Let's learn some spelling or something.

So I'm going gonna teach you To spell Oh dear It's gotta be tough You know To be a pop Pop person Trying to compete With the young pop people

Yeah As you Reinvent yourself Yeah Yeah Because she already Did the reinvention once From the country to pop

Yeah And what are you doing And then she went from Pop to like the last album was like dark. Yeah. There's a snake. Yeah. Oh yeah. Snake pop.

Snake pop. She did snake pop? Yeah. What's the next iteration? I guess this. I think it's back to normal. Yeah. Back to normal.

Silly pop. New ska. Yes. New ska. And new. I love that. Umlaka. Yes. New Ska. And new. I love it. Umlauts. Yeah.

New Ska. New Ska. Harry Poppin Daddy's collab. It's time. Yeah. It would be nice for somebody to sample some of their stuff. Give them some residuals. Dave, what's going on with you, man?

Well, I'm working on the sequel for the Cherry Poppin' Daddy's movie. What is it? Well, I mean, they just released the one last year, Zootoo Riot. No,

this is going to be about the back half of their career with Adam Lambert as the lead singer Last, what's going on with me is I also have been in another country Last week, I took a day off work And I drove down by myself To Target in Bellingham, Washington To pick up some curtains we'd ordered.

Nice one. You're well-traveled. Uh-huh. I went to Blaine, Washington. What did you see? What was the world like down there? Okay, well. What's America like under Trump?

Yeah, okay. It's weird. It's weird that there's signs for it like in blaine in ferndale wow in in uh but like if people if for people listening who aren't from this region uh i went about half an hour south of the border uh and i yeah so there are absolutely trump signs really uh not everywhere but like but for 2020 just like make america great again so just like not even looking forward just like trump is our president currently. Oh, boy. I think there's nothing looking forward about Make America Great Again. Yeah.

No, but it's just, I'm just picturing people who would have lawn signs that just like, currently our president is this. No, no. It's May 11th. It's, there's, yeah, it's not lawn signs. I i wasn't i was on the highway i wasn't going past people's lawns but it would be like a flag or yeah uh you know people on the side of uh whatever their business oh really yeah they want to attract that crowd. Sure. Hey, you know what? Their money's as green as anybody else's. Oh, just like, you know.

Hats. Red hats. Yeah. Yeah. It was like on some kind of. Mega mall. It was like, or like a outlet mall. I said mega mall.

What's a mega? A mega mall. Really good. Really good. I'll let myself out. No, it's good. You stay right there. Yeah, I went to Target.

Yeah. Target's great. That one's really good, too. It's the best reason to go to America. Yeah. I think I've only ever been in Target once. The Canadian one just didn't compare. No.

No. Not even close. No. Do they have Target over in London? No. What's their equivalent? They have like Marks and Spencer's. Oh yeah, they have like an Asda or Little, but that's more like discount groceries and little things like that. Yeah, nothing like that. Marks and Spencer's is like economy but has a variety of different things.

Right. Yeah. But there's no direct like. I don't think so. Like maybe out more in the suburbs. I'm just trying to think of things right in the city. There's just not that much of an expanse of space. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true. You need a big space for a target. Yeah. Like it's like what, three floors or something like that? I mean. I feel like there's an escalator for a target. It's like, what, three floors or something like that? I feel like there's an escalator in a target. Maybe a city target. Oh, sure. I went to a mall target.

Oh, mall target. Not a country target. Or a Margaret. That's what it's known. Mags. Maggie. I did the rounds there, bought some tennis balls and kids clothes. The Trader Joe's is there. Went to a Trader Joe's

afterwards. Sure. Loaded up on my favorite penguin gummies. Oh, yeah. What a day you had. It was, and I was excited about it

all week. We had dinner with my parents and siblings that Sunday. I was like, guys, in a few days I'm going to america

what do you want from trader joe's and then they all want penguin gummies no i don't even know what they have at trader joe's i've never been it's never it's it's just uh it's like good quality like if everything is their own brand like they don't really sell anything but their own brand yeah and it's all pretty good i mean i can't get any i can't get zest if i went into a trader joe's i'm not interested in really good snack selection okay all right i'm back on board yeah hummus is yes yeah oh pumice is yeah like hummus is in pumice. Yeah. Pumices and pumices. Yeah. From pumices to pumices. We've got it all.

Um, uh, yeah. So I, uh, left up there, went to Taco Bell. Oh,

you did. You did the America trifecta. Yeah. Although apparently there's like 10 Taco Bells in the suburbs. Oh yeah. But you gotta get a Gordita from down in the States. Oh yeah. That,

um, Cool Ranch Dorito Taco Shell. Yeah. suburbs. Oh, yeah, but you got to get a Gordita from down in the States. That Cool Ranch Dorito taco shell. Yeah. I literally bought two of those and brought them across the border for Abby. My car stunk for the rest of the week. You're not supposed to keep that in your car that long. Anything to declare? Yeah, these two disgusting tacos. Tased immediately sure we're gonna have to take you over for secondary inspection

but yeah no it's great it's like I was there for it was a Thursday morning so there was no lineup at the border and I was there for three hours and just really like some some me time yeah it's a media time just a little like head down south i don't like i'm wondering like why don't i do this every week because then it would get old it would but yeah like and gas is so much cheaper that's what's what I was saying. Like, people drive down there for, like, to fill up their gas tank, which seems counterintuitive. Yeah, because you have to drive an extra 50 kilometers or whatever.

Yeah, I always wondered that when people would do that. Like, how does it all work out if you have to drive? But then I was like, are they getting, like, cans of gas? Are they getting, like, jerry cans of gas and then filling it? Like, are you allowed to do that? I don't know how much you're like allowed to drive with those things. Can you drive really far with like gas in a jerry can? I don't know.

I don't know anything about a jerry can. I know you can. I've seen them either being carried by someone walking to a car in a cartoon or a TV show or something. Or like strapped to the side of a Jeep. Yeah. I remember my friend lit one on fire. I remember camping once. Why?

Because he had a lighter and a jerry can with a little bit of gas in it. So he thought he'd light it on fire. And he did. Was it cool? It was pretty cool. I mean, it made big flames. Yeah. And I was like.

He's dead now. Yeah, he's dead now. He evolved. He went from jerry cans to full tankers. Yeah. And now he shows up in people's nightmares. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got the scissor hands.

Yeah. Well, just one. The other one's just normal hand. Is that right? Is that canon? Freddy Krueger? One normal hand? One sciss other one's just normal hand. Is that right? Is that canon? Freddy Krueger, one normal hand, one scissor hand? Freddy normal hand.

The alternate title. Freddy normal. Just one, though. Yeah. Oh, so scary. But you can take that glove off, right? Yeah. That was like a hedge trimming glove. Yeah.

It's one of those hand model ones to just protect it. To protect it, but also to defend against anyone who might try to hurt your hand. Yeah. That would be weird if Freddy had a burned up face, but then perfect hands. Moonlit as a hand model? That would be good. I want to see the catalogs he's been in. Yeah. want to see the catalogs he's been in yeah like uh if there was just a scene where he scratches

his face and you just see his like perfect perfect manicured fingers it would it would be like very unsettling like it would be an unsettling scene in an already unsettling film i want to see. I hope somebody edits that together. Just a one cut too of a beautiful hand. It's like across that striped shirt. Yeah. Taking off his hat, ma'am. Lovely day.

You all right? Are there British horror people? Yeah. Horror people. Well, like are there British monsters? Jack. Horror people. Well, like, are there British monsters? Jack the Ripper. Oh, yeah. He was a Loch Ness Monster.

There's a lot of just, like, crime drama. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wait. No, that's New York, isn't it? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. But there's, like, I feel like everybody's always getting killed.

It's like the dry British crime dramas. Right. Yeah, that's true. And the big thing over there is knife crime. Knife crime. Everybody's getting stabbed. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

You been stabbed yet? Not yet. You all right? You all right? No, I was just stabbed. I was stabbed. Knife crime. Yeah, just got a cheeky stabbing at lunch.

Just for a cheeky knife crime. Yeah, I just got a cheeky stabbing at lunch. Just for a cheeky knife crime. Yeah, sneak it in and come back to the office. Why so serious? Yeah, that's true. I always heard, before I moved there, that, have you heard of the Chelsea Smile? That's like, because of the soccer teams being super competitive and they called the chelsea smile because like the the like soccer thugs would come up behind you if you're wearing a different um jersey and just hold the knife like to the both sides corners of your mouth

and then it would like cut the tendency you'd have like a joker flap no and they call it the chelsea smile yeah yeah i don't know if it's true, but I believe it. I believe it, too. That's more horrifying than 10 Freddy Krueger. Yeah. And there's like the Glasgow kiss as a headbutt. Glasgow kiss. There's the Chicago necktie.

Yeah. Where they like would slit your throat and then pull your tongue out. Oh, that's a Colombian necktie. I've heard of Chicago. Maybe a tour around. There's a Canadian tux out. Oh, that's a Colombian necktie. I've heard of Chicago. Maybe a two-footer around. There's a Canadian tuxedo. Yeah, a Canadian tuxedo. Kentucky waterfall.

Cleveland steamer. So, I mean, there's a lot of culture out there. Yeah. It's hard to discover. Eyebrow. Chelsea smile. Oh, that's horrible. Horrible. Eyebrow. Chelsea. Horrible. Horrible.

Horrible. Horrible. But they're intense. Like, I won't pick up. I won't say football, really. No London drugs. Yeah, no London drugs. Unbelievable.

But I went to my one and only soccer game out there. And it was Chelsea versus Malmo, Sweden. Okay. But I went with two Swedes. And so we were in the Swedish section, which is just one little section of a massive arena. And they protect it. So there's guards on all sides of this one little corner because people just act up like crazy. Really?

If you're Swedish or if you're basically from the visitor team, you have to go sit in this section. visitor team they you have to go sit in this section um and they truly like a hundred guards on flanking like both sides still fights happening across the guards like people punching each other wow the swedes were i mean as you can probably imagine we're just like a peaceful rowdy drunk bunch but not really like antagonizing anybody but still wow yeah i and why would you go to a game in the the opposing like yeah exactly like i was insane i cheer quietly for you the team that you like yeah but they're just singing it was like 24 24 7 singing yeah yeah huh yeah i do love music yeah yeah i guess yeah i like music too i like this new taylor swift song yeah everybody spell now there's a no i in team but there's me in awesome and that's part of it for real absolutely it's part of the song

oh boy there's a lot of lame dudes out there absolutely Absolutely. Sing it, Taylor. So yeah, I went to America. I had a cheesy gordita crunch. Sounds really good. It was really good. The guy in front of me in line blew the ass out of my face.

He had a Make America Great against a girl in his car oh yeah and i was like i'll have what he's but also he was a very old man and he left his car on he came into the restaurant his car was still running his windshield wipers were on they were running I was like okay and then he got his order in before him he didn't know and like

he was not with it but we wish him the best yeah we wish him the best absolutely what's up with you I this past weekend my whole family was in town your kids? my kids were here.

Grandkids? Shane and Cody. Their moms? Their scamps. Yeah, their moms were here. Kelly and Shania. One's from Malmo and one's from Chelsea, and they were fighting. They were fighting.

I had to put them on opposite sides of the table. That was just a seating chart decision on my part. My family all came to town because it was a long weekend and we decided to have a get together here in Vancouver.

And so Easter. They love it. They love it. I mean, what's not to love? The eggs, The bunny. The resurrection. The last temptation. Yes. Yeah.

And so one of the things we did was we went to the Van Dusen Gardens. Oh, what day? Same day you went. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. During where there was like thousands and thousands of kids yeah oh was it an easter egg hunt thing yeah yeah and uh literally as we were driving in we saw no less than three parents like carrying their kids who are having just an

absolute meltdown yeah because i guess it's like sugar. Yeah. Sugar crashes. I'm in a wobbly. You all right? Very much. Like carrying them by the belt. Yeah. Like a suitcase.

And just screaming. But we were already there, you know? So, like, we we were gonna go somewhere else this is beautiful there's a it's in bloom yeah yeah i had never been before i've lived here for quite a while and i've never we used to sneak in oh really yeah we it's very easy to sneak really easy and there's i don't know if it's still there but there's like a labyrinth yeah we went in there uh that was part of the egg hunt. Oh, yeah.

Egg hunt. Sorry. It sounded like I said something else. Helen Hunt. Yeah. And yeah, we went through the maze, which was not very good when it was just like standing in line. Yeah.

Because there were so many people going through it that you just follow the person in front of you. But yeah, it was mostly, it's mostly just follow the person in front of you um but yeah it was mostly it's mostly trees and shrubs in there it's uh trees and shrubs yeah it's easter time in the garden and they were pumping out this music that was like generic versions of pop songs that weren't they weren't by the original artist but they were like kind of like a gleeified were they kid oh no they weren't kid versions but like they were like glee club yeah were they acapella no but they were like songs where you're like i think there's a swear word somewhere in this song that they've kind of scrubbed. Right. Was it no scrubs? Yeah, no scrubs.

And, you know, it was about medical scrubs. They had rewritten it. Yeah. Yeah, it was. Overall, it was weird because, like, it's in the middle of the city. And I don't know what it was. Like, was it some kind of land that the government owned or something? Like, why is there this garden in the middle of the city?

I don't know. Yeah. Is there a Van Dusen family? Is this. Maybe that's it. There were just like some richie riches. Yeah. Yeah.

Sound Dutch. They sure do. Yeah, no doubt. But yeah, I went. I went there and it was crazy though. There were so many, like I don't understand what the mechanics of the Easter egg. I'll tell you the mechanics. Yeah, yeah. I thought you'd be able to shed some light on this.

It's, they give you a little map. The kids are encouraged. So they basically, there's like one section with purple eggs one section with pink eggs one section with green yellow section with pink eye yeah and you walk through the garden from one place to the other in the garden of Van Dusen, baby. And they, yeah, you fill up your basket, or they don't give you a basket. We had

tote bags. And you, so you, yeah, you get these eggs. They're just empty plastic eggs. There's no candy in them. Yeah, that's the part of it I didn't understand. I was like, what are these eggs doing? And at the very end, you hand empty plastic eggs. Oh. There's no candy in them. Yeah, that's the part of it I didn't understand. I was like, what are these eggs doing?

And at the very end, you hand in your eggs for a little thing from Purdy's Chocolates. Oh, okay. So there was some sort of exchange. Yeah. Okay. Although they don't check that you got all the eggs. Right. It's just a time killer.

Yeah. Right. Because I was like, I don't understand these like what's in it for these kids to find these empty eggs yeah and then at the very end there's like food trucks and which by the way i want 10 a.m on a sunday i want mac and cheese out of a truck and there's like a like a kids um uh basically, it's like a dance. What I was picturing was a kids Bowflex based on your. No, it's like this sort of kids exercise dance thing where it's like all about, you're awesome.

Now, everybody repeat after me. Say, I'm awesome. You're awesome. No, I, no, say you are. And they do like, they're just confused. They're like dancing, they're punch dancing to Sara Bareilles and everyone's feeling good about themselves. Oh yeah. And then they have like a place where you can go get your picture taken, like line up like you would to sit on Santa's lap, but it's the Easter bunny.

And there's no protocol for that. So that you sit in a chair next to the easter bunny and shake hands as if you're both and you executives and you ask for the candy you already received that day uh you ask if you could watch the bunny shit out an egg i don't understand how this has to do with the resurrection i like grew up jewish so it's really foreign to me but even then i don't like is there a tie i know the two things that that i've heard is uh first like that the egg thing is tied to spring right but like way before biblical times so that that was already a thing around that time of year it's a pagan yeah like a pagan symbol of rebirth but then also there's a religious that somebody offered the roman soldiers eggs it to go easy on the people

who were being crucified which i don't know how easy you can go on somebody who's been crucified held up by three nails yeah i don't know like well you can go give him a couple okay you're lucky guys so you're gonna die over three days instead of two yeah that i not got any on you don't say i didn't do anything for you yeah yeah is uh you grew up uh jewish is it passover is that the same time yeah passover just happened which is like way darker, I guess. Like there's no real celebration, but you eat like matzo balls. Oh, okay. It's, you know, like in ancient Egypt with the plagues.

Have you heard of that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is all about the 10, what is it? Basically the different plagues and how the Jews escaped, I don't know, being slaves in Egypt. Yeah. But this one was literally put pig's blood over your door

because a plague was going to kill the firstborn of every family. Firstborn, right. But it passed over. The ghost passed over. Oh, that's what the past over is. So then you sat down, ate some matzo balls.

Yeah. I mean, we don't celebrate anything, but I grew up that way. And then- You did still put pig's some matzo balls? Yeah. I mean, we don't celebrate anything, but I grew up that way. You did still put pig's blood on the door? Yeah. I have little brothers, though. A helpful hint is just to keep it in a spray bottle. Martha Stewart will tell you.

Yeah, preserved. You have little brothers? I have little brothers. But their dad is raised Christian. Like my mom is not really anything. So they, they're pretty, like they'll celebrate all the cool holidays without any sort of religion overtones. But like this last Sunday that passed for Easter Sunday, they all woke up and it's like, we've hidden the eggs. They're going to go out and find them.

My mom's like, put on your rapture pants. And they did. Oh, cool. yeah yeah what do those look like they're just pants because at the time they were all running around without their pants oh you're gonna go outside and find the eggs but you got to put some pants on your rapture pants eggs and plagues yeah um yeah so you enjoyed the garden uh yeah i don't think i'll go again i think that's a that's a one and done for me i uh i don't i don't uh you know how some people very much appreciate plants and trees and nature and whatnot i don't have whatever that gene is whatever enzyme you need to have to enjoy that i don't well i grew up i don't hate it i grew up uh well i was raised shinto and so i do have a great appreciation you have tree spirit yeah yeah i wish i had because

you know uh there's people who like paint the forest and stuff and like yeah they think it's like so beautiful i don't know i don't have it you know what you like the inside of your eyelids yeah yeah yeah oh coming soon um uh you don't stop and smell the flowers now you're allergic i'm allergic and but you know like when people will they'll be like genuinely moved by oh yeah no um or they they just yeah i don't get. No. Or they just, yeah, I don't know. Yeah. It's nice to look at, but it's in the way. I like it. I like it, you know, but I don't appreciate it the way that other people do.

Know your place, nature. Yeah. Yeah. Nature, that's where. The woods. Yeah. Backdrop. Yeah.

Do you have any plants in your home? Yeah. Yeah. Do you have any, do you have any plants in your home? Yep. Yeah. I have three plants. Do you resent them? Uh, yeah, we argue a lot.

You're supposed to argue with your plants. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It keeps them indirect. Suddenly, um,

the plants really thrive off of rhetoric. Yeah. Word play. That's why I just leave Alex Jones playing for them when I leave the house. We used to put Alex Jones on headphones and put them up to Abby's belly when she was pregnant. He's frog. Yeah, Poppy is very staunch she and she refuses to wear a shirt she's so red she's so red-faced our staunch little girl oh boy um daddy's a little zealous

uh do we want to move on to a little bit of business? Cool. This episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself is brought to you in part by Squarespace. Oh, no. It's my arch nemesis, Squareface. That's right. Dick Tracy, I'm going to get you. Ah-ha!

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your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com. Enter code SPY. I'll get you, Tracy. I don't think so. Now, back to the show. Hey, I'm Janet Varney. And like many of you, some more recent than others, I used to be a teenager.

In fact, just about all of my friends were were too, including wonderful women like Alison Brie. I'm dead center on the balance beam. And this is like a big gym. All the kids' parents are there watching. I have to stop, like, you know, when you have to pee so bad and you can't even move. And then I just go. I just pee right in the middle of the high balance beam.

So join me every week on the JV Club podcast where I speak with complicated, funny, messy humans as we reminisce about our adolescences and how they led us to becoming who we are. Find it every Thursday on Maximum Fun. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which we hear things out there in the world and then we share them here on the podcast and we always like to start with the guest sarah yeah you lead the

charge i was a bit when you told me i was gonna be on the show i was like i hope i hear something and then the perfect one dropped later that day so there's two kind of like middle-aged ladies on the tube and they were just chatting about life life and their families and all this stuff. And then the one was like, yeah, you know, it's good. It gets a little boring. But, you know, the same day happens over and over again. Like that film Independence Day. Oh, man.

What a terrible day to have over and over again. The aliens attack. Will Smith gives you a weird dolphin engagement ring. Yeah. Is Bill Pullman's president? Yes. Right. Yeah.

Jeff Goldblum. I used to, he like slept with the secretary of staff or something like that. I don't remember that. That's how he gets into the White House. Wow. And. That's how he gets into a lot house. Wow. And, uh, so he gets in a lot of places.

Yeah. Yeah. Every day. Every day is my, it's like independence day. Yeah. Just over and over. Oh boy. That movie I watched not that long ago.

And, um, holds up. Yeah. The white house blow up in that. Yeah. Yeah. White house,

white house down. No. Uh, Olympus has fallen. The White House blow up in that? Yeah. Yeah. White House. White House down. Olympus has fallen. The record building in LA. Oh, sure. Empire State Building. Yeah. You know, they do the arch. They usually have to pick something to do in the middle of the country. No, they don't show from other parts of the world.

They just show. It's my favorite scene in the movie where you know, America's got this war room and then they contact France and it's three guys wearing berets. I was like, you guys didn't even draw any.

Like PAs, probably. What? Do they blow up the uh empire state to an eiffel tower the eiffel tower brought to you by the empire state building i guess is what i meant to say um no i mean maybe they do but i don't think it's in the only show the americans don't blow up of any pyramids they blow up I don't think it's in the they only show the Americans they don't blow up any pyramids they blow up the Grand Canyon they fill it in Dave do you have

an over yeah well this is an over scene made me laugh driving down to America in I'm guessing

Ferndale Washington they've got a Sonic I saw a sign for this place called Twin Sisters Creamery. I'll say. Creamery dreamery.

Yeah. Creamery my jeanery. Yeah, exactly. Twin Sisters Jeans Creamery. Oh, boy. Creamery my jeanery Yeah exactly Twin sisters jeans creamery Oh boy I thought that was fun And it's dumb And it's Oh boy

Yeah well That was So yeah Twin sisters creamery They probably do a great butter Yeah Absolutely I wouldn't doubt it Good for them Well, that was, so yeah, twin sisters creamery. They probably do a great butter. Yeah, absolutely. I wouldn't doubt it.

Good for them. Yeah. Starting their own business. Harnessing the power of the twins. Yeah. To cream things. Yeah. Mine's also an overseen.

Yes, tell us. A very old lady. This is, this is my favorite thing is, uh, when a senior will be wearing an item of clothing that they just put on. Like, as you know, like, uh, I remember seeing a guy wearing a hat that said straight out of Compton and it's just like, you like got it out of a bargain bin and you're like, this hat fits. Doesn't mean anything to me. Yeah, exactly. and you're like this hat fits doesn't mean anything to me yeah exactly uh so very old lady wearing a shirt that says in big letters wtf and then underneath where's the fireball wow yeah like the drink like the whiskey i guess or or like what dalsim throws in Street Fighter 2. I don't know, but it was very, it was very funny that she was wearing the shirt.

I mean, I just, at first I saw WTF and I was already on board. Yeah. Where's the fireball? We were talking a few weeks ago about like the coolest, like if you find something in a secondhand store. I think you said a shirt that's made by Benalin would be the best. And then I started googling just like brands and like there's a lot of like Nabisco does some good stuff. Because like no one likes Nabisco. They like Oreos or whatever. If it just says the parent company

that's pretty good. But I saw one that was just, it was a hat and it had, it was like a mashup of Windows 95 and Compaq computers on a white hat. It was $150. I can see why. My grandma had one cause she took those little, she had like a pot card. And so she got these little like candies that had THC or something for just healing or whatever to get her appetite back. But she also started to get into weed culture as a result over the couple of weeks. She's like, I have a pot card, so I'm going to lean into this.

So she had this T-shirt that looked like the Starbucks logo, but it just said, I spend my bucks on weed. She was so happy with that. She was like 84. Good for her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good for her.

Yeah. Taking on corporate culture a little bit, too. You don't need a card anymore. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it's weird. I don't know that anybody that I know who's bought, like, legal weed is very happy with it. Yeah, I feel like just more people are going to the illegal stores now and being like, well, I can't get in trouble for this. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. Yeah. And then this past, oh, yeah, this past weekend was 420. Did your parents give you guys weed eggs? Yeah, they gave us weed eggs and they said, go nuts, get out there. Multiply. Yeah, but there was a big gathering, 420 gathering at Cypress Hill was playing at. And I thought once legalization of weed happened that that that would well it was

apparently they're unhappy with how it's gone it's still a protest but it's a very organized protest so organized that they were able to get cypress hill to perform for 60 000 people yeah in a public park they couldn't get the permits though i heard because you're not still allowed to smoke anything in public exactly well no not in parks in parks okay um but yeah it was a weird like a year before marijuana became legal they made it or a couple years like you can't smoke cigarettes in parks anymore which is good yeah that's fine the province catches fire every summer so yeah yeah let's keep that up uh but uh yeah no there i think the idea is that uh the it's legal now but they don't like the government control of it. Oh boy. I don't know. These people will never be happy.

There's too much fluoride in our weed. Um, yeah, it's, uh, anyways, my, my brothers and,

uh, their, their wives all went down to gravel Island and heard Cypress Hill playing. Oh, from across the water. Yeah. And, uh, they were like, all went down to Gravel Island and heard Cypress Hill playing. Oh, from across the water? Yeah. And they were like

they didn't think it was actually Cypress Hill. They thought it was just a recording of Cypress Hill, but I was like, nope. It was actually Cypress Hill. No, they were that good. They sounded just like the recording. Who would be the big, like if you were throwing a marijuana festival

or like a 420 concert who would be the headliners snoop dogg snoop dogg willie nelson i'm sure and uh cypress hill is good and then uh just you know uh tommy chong doing a keynote yes powerpoint yeah Bob Marley's dead. Yeah. Oh, hologram Bob Marley. Hologram Bob Marley. And Sublime? Yeah, they're dead. Yeah. Hologram Sublime.

Hologram guy from Sublime. And, oh boy. Hologram Shannon Hoon comes out and pees on the audience. And I guess like. You did that in Vancouver, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Vancouver's claim to

fame. In the early 90s, for people who don't know what we're talking about, the lead singer, the now late lead singer of Blind Melon,

Shannon Hoon, came out. They were opening for Lenny Kravitz. Perfect. And. Who many years later, his penis

would fall out of his pants I didn't I think he stripped down Shannon Hoon did yeah and like was wasted the whole time and peed on a crowd

and on the stage and yeah everywhere concert over right at that point no I mean just began

Lenny Kravitz was like let me out there I like to perform in other people's pee. That's how he found it out. Let me out there. Put me in coach. Yeah.

Lenny's really raring to go. Doodly doodly doodly do. Well, my brothers did sit around putting together a gigantic 420 playlist. Oh, yeah. What for? Just to kill time in the afternoon. We were trying to think of all the songs that either referenced weed or were by somebody that... That's a long list. Yeah, it was a long list.

Or, you know, on the outside, musicians who were famous for weed use. But yeah, happy 420. Happy 420 to everyone listening to this on May 13th. Almost 520. On 513. Happy 520. You know, next week's episode comes out on 520. And everyone, do some multivitamins.

It's a folic acid celebration day. Now, we also have overheard sent in to us from people all over the world. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. And this first one comes from Olivia T. in Los Angeles. A few days ago, I was at a stoplight in L.A. I looked to my left and cruising on by in the crosswalk was a man on a hoverboard pushing a stroller with a baby in it. So now that's advanced parenting.

Why doesn't the baby get some hover wheels? Yeah. A hover advanced parenting. Why didn't the baby get some hover wheels? Yeah. A hover pram. Yeah. That's a good question. Yeah. I mean, I don't know that the stroller or pram didn't have hover wheels, but I'm assuming that it didn't. That's very good.

That's very good. That's very modern day That's very, that's very modern day parenting. Good for you. When I was, so one of the reasons. Oh, the baby was vaping as well. One of the reasons I went to America is the, we had ordered a package that the shipping was much cheaper to America. Yeah. But, and my brother used to live in Seattle, so we used to just get stuff shipped to him. He does not live there anymore.

used to live in Seattle so we used to just get stuff shipped to him he does not live there anymore and so we uh there's a place there's places all over Blaine the city by the border where you just give them their address and they hold it for two dollars they'll accept your package for two dollars and you go same you go and pick it up and I'd never used one of these before and I went in and the woman behind the counter came by like came to the counter on a hoverboard you show her your ID

she goes back and gets your package and brings it out on a hoverboard yeah cool no yeah

like actually yeah wow that's really cool that's cool for two bucks for two bucks you get to see someone on a hoverboard.

Yeah, dinner and a show. I ordered dinner. Oh, you guys got Gordinas back there? Yeah, I had someone ship Nandos over, the British stuff. This next one comes from Danny from Mount Vernon, Iowa. This is an overheard between a couple of girls in a college cafeteria. Girl one, have you ever seen Blazing Saddles? It's a Mel Brooks

movie. Girl two, Mel Brooks? Wasn't he cancelled? Girl one, no, you're thinking of Mel Gibson. Girl two, maybe. What's he in? Girl one, I don't know. Yells across the room, Hey Andrew, name a Mel Gibson movie.

A very confident Andrew. Chicken Run. I could not name a person associated with Chicken Run. But yeah, the fact that that's somebody's go-to Mel Gibson movie, pretty great. Is he in it? He is in it, yeah. Wow. He's a voice in it, but. I would have thought Mel Brooks still,

because wasn't he in like Five Old Goes West? That stands to reason. Yeah. Yeah. Mel Brooks has done a lot of voice stuff over the years. Most notably, Five Old Goes West and Spaceballs the cartoon. Right.

Five Old Goes West is the sequel the cartoon right Fievel Goes West is the sequel to An American Tale yeah have they ever made the hockey sequel of it Fievel Goes Five Hole

pretty good pretty good pretty good for me pretty good for all these all the hockey fans out there the Fievel smile I was gonna sing

a beautiful song but Sarah decided to make it terrifying yeah uh this final one comes from Anna

uh hearts unknown I think uh Ontario though that's my guess I'm at a cafe oh it's classic Ontario

yeah they love cafe culture. Two old guys sitting next to me are discussing tomatoes and the differences between tomatoes. One of them says to the other, when you touch a tomato on the plant in Ontario, you just can't imagine. Yuck. Maybe you literally can no longer imagine. Yeah, maybe you lose your imagination. Two old guys talking tomatoes.

Well, that's what this show's about to become. So, you got your tomatoes, right? Yeah, yeah, sure. Beefsteakak beefsteak are the big ones hot house uh roma roma yeah cherry and now grape oh yeah grapes are new one for the last few years yeah but you know what i'm into it yeah and then those what are the ones that are like you get they're the size rotten the cherry tomatoes that are they come in like a bunch of different colors. Oh yeah. Little small tomatoes. They're green and yellow. Fun variety. Fried green. Jubilee tomato.

Fried green. Sun dried. Sun dried. Yes! This girl knows her tomatoes. Yeah. Killing it. Well she's been to Italy. Yeah it's true. You can't imagine. Yeah. Killing it. Well, she's been to Italy. Yeah, it's true. Pomodoro. You can't imagine.

Touching a tomato on the vine. Yeah. You can't imagine. Roma. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh.

Spy pod one. Like these people have. Hi, Dave Graham and probable guest. Uh, it's Joe Paul calling from Connecticut with an over red. Um, I was just driving to work and a cop car passed me in the other lane.

Um, you know, black and white car, bar light and everything. Um, but then as it passed me, I noticed they had a bumper sticker on the back that said, not a cop. Whoa!

And they have to tell you. Yeah, that's true. I guess he skirted the law by putting that bumper sticker on that that's technically fine. He's already gone by then. Yeah. It's part of a Halloween costume. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a

blues brother. How do kids get away with dressing up as cops on halloween tiny cops you know the same way that they get away with uh you know appropriating cultures and stuff yeah that's true it's so cute yeah the last year the uh big because i remember when kids would dress up as cops as a kid they would wear blue shirt yeah tie yeah handcuffs billy billy club yeah gun now taser now they wear the like militarized like swat swat cops yeah hot cops foxy cops foxy hot swap cops soft cops swap swap swap cops soft cops hard cops soft cops hot cops

swat cops anyway this is a great Dr. Seuss book here's your next phone call hi guys this is Julia

calling from New York and we just walked by a 13 year old girl reading something on her phone to one of her friends yeah lobsters live forever nothing hurts them by a 13 year old girl reading something on her phone to one of her friends yeah

lobsters live forever nothing hurts them they feel nothing oh and they never age haha lobsters live forever nothing hurts them even being eaten

they love it in fact they love it live in fact in fact they love it yeah yeah it's when they get to turn their true color bright red they love butter yeah they're being dipped in butter they're like surf and turf they know they're certain they know although if a lobster get lobsters just get bigger and bigger the older they are, right? Is that true? Yeah, like our teeth.

Thank you. Yes. If you're not around to, you know, trim down a lobster, it'll just grow right through a rat's face. Okay, final over. Hi, Dave and Graham and guest. My name's Rio from Toronto and I haven't overheard.

I overheard it on April 17th which is relevant because I was on a subway platform and this woman very earnestly told her friend while clasping him on the shoulder and hey man, if I don't see you before then, happy 420. I know that you're

a really big Cypress Hill fan. I know they're not going to be in Toronto this year. Happy 420? It's a big holiday. I was going to send you a Christmas card. Didn't get around to it. Something sapped my motivation. Yeah.

Happy 420 to everybody. Yes, on this 513. Yeah. Time to take the lights down. Yeah. Pack it up. Put away your Afro Man album. Because I got high? Yeah yeah is that on your playlist yeah oh yeah um what else is on the playlist uh you know there was a couple songs

from the chronic um oh sure you know uh there's some Bob Marley for sure. Did you have Let's Go Smoke Some Pot by Dash Rip Rock? Whoa. Whoa. Maybe. I don't recall. But that seems like a... I mean, it's one of the best Dash Rip Rock songs I remember.

I don't remember who this is. It was like they were like... I remember the song was... It was like Let's Go to the Hop, basically. Right. It was like a punk version of a, you know, doo-wop song. Dash Riprock, is that from the Flintstones? I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. Sounds like a crooner that would have been on the Flintstones, Dash Riprock. Yeah, Dash Riprock. There's that Everlast song has some

weed mentioned. I just heard it on the radio again. It's that Everlast song has some weed mentioned. I just heard it on the radio again. It's a classic. Which one? It's like, you really know what it's like or that one? Oh, yeah. It's like, I smoke the finest green. Talking about like all the hot chicks he's been with and then all the great weed he's smoked.

What a life. What a life. Everlast. You might know what it's like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was a weird pivot. Because he was, not Cypress Hill.

House of Payne. House of Payne, yeah. And then he's like, nope, folk musician guy. Well, I wouldn't call it folk music. Well, but what was it? A guy with a guitar? It was like acoustic nu metal. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's It was like acoustic nu metal. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess that's a good descriptor of it. Yeah. It was like, you know, the Eagle Eye Cherry influence was very strong. It was like Limp Bizkit influenced Eagle Eye Cherry.

So, you know what? Listeners out there, if you're making a Spotify playlist, put in Eagle listeners out there if you're making a spotify playlist put an eagle eye cherry or if you're making a venn diagram that new taylor swift is actually overlapping somewhere yeah oh yeah we listen to it uh i don't think that's going to be part of the show we listen to it in the break and uh it's um we agree it's the kind of song that's going to be played in like when someone comes out at the Democratic National Convention. Yeah. Or if Brexit finally gets worked out, this will be the song.

Yeah, the Theresa May dance. I love that Theresa May dance. Anytime somebody posts it, it, uh, makes my day. With the curb theme, especially for India. Um, Sarah, that brings us to the end of, especially. Um, Sarah, that brings us to the end of the episode. Uh, thank you so much for being our guest.

It's been a pleasure. It's always the best. Yeah. Um, and nothing, nothing that you want to plug. Not really by the time. Yeah.

I'll, I'll just be getting back to town, but, um, do shows here and there at the nursery in London. But other than that, the nursery. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Um yeah fun little improv theater cool yeah fun yeah well thank you so much for being our guest

thank you thanks for having me thank you so much thanks guys so great to see you happy 420 yes you too if I don't see you

before next 420 just have a good one 420 2020 is going to be huge oh boy I mean 420 20 and then we're a few years from 420 24 with Jack Bauer Yeah, 4-20-20-20 is going to be huge. Oh, boy. I mean. 4-20-20. And then we're a few years from 4-20-24 with Jack Bauer.

With backwards Jack Bauer and frontwards Jack Bauer. And all you out there. This is why you listen to the end of the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's still gold nuggets being hidden all over the place. If you like the show, please do tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture.

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