Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 586 - Cassie Cao

Episode Date: June 10, 2019

Comedian Cassie Cao joins us to talk racist cats, Disney movies, and the Game of Thrones finale.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 586 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's wearing just the fanciest indoor shoes that you're ever gonna see. Mr. Dave Shumkin. They're outdoor shoes.

Oh, they're outdoor shoes? I forgot to take them off. Oh, cool. That's what's so fancy about them. I thought you were trying out some new fancy indoor shoes no i ran an errand uh right before you got here and i uh came in the back door and you came to the front door and i never took off the shoes yeah fair enough they look great well they're that's what makes them fancy is that they're equipped for the outdoors they're um the for the home listener

i'm wearing those uh-toed shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's wearing the finger-toed shoes. Yeah. And it's weird that you have toe rings on the outside of them. Well, you know, if you got it, flaunt it. Is it flaunt or flunt? Yeah, if you got it, flaunt it.

Yeah. Yeah. I've been saying that wrong. Our guest today, first-time guest to the podcast, very funny comedian, nominated for a Canadian Comedy Award, Cassie Cow. Yay, thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be on the podcast. Thank you for being on the podcast. Oh, I listen to this all the time. Well, welcome.

Yeah, it's great. It's nice to have you here. I love being in this very small room with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People don't, listeners at home don't know, but we're in a two-foot by four-foot room. I know it sounds cavernous on the show because we add all that reverb. But no, it's just a room. Yeah, it's like a supply closet. This is maybe...

It's the prettiest shed I've been in. Since moving to this new house, you're the first person who's commented on how small it is. Everyone's like, oh, it's so professional. We get our own microphone. No, guys, you got to get me a bigger studio. Do we want to get to know us? Yes, absolutely. Get to know us.

Cassie, you hail from Toronto. I do, I do. Born and raised? No, not at all. From parts where? Where? Where from? Oh, I was born in China.

Oh, I've heard of it okay it's um i'm from the the rich bits of china i'm from shanghai china shanghai china okay i was born there and then i moved around a bunch uh i've lived all across canada how come why why so many moves yeah i feel like people always say like oh oh, were your parents in the military? But no, they were just ambitious. Or they were run out of every town? Were they con people? Well, no, like my parents came to Canada as immigrants. So they were students.

Like my parents came to do their grad studies here. Oh, okay. So they just like were getting jobs and going to school. And so we would move around. Cool. Yeah. What cities in Canada have you lived in? Ooh, when we first came, I lived in Quebec City.

Oh, wow. Yeah, there was a small chunk of my life when I only spoke Quebecois French. Wow. And I was a very small Asian girl, and people got a real kick out of it. I was a hit at parties. Do you remember any French? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm bilingual.

I used to work in the government and that was very handy. What did you do in the government? I was an economist. Whoa, we have those? We're really getting into it. Yeah, yeah. Right off the top. Yeah, yeah, deep dive.

I was an economist. I used to work with the bank of canada really yeah with the central bank i i regulated how much interest you make on your houses on my many houses well i'm happy with the amount of interest i made so thank you uh yeah i used to do that and then i quit my job to be a stand-up comic, and my mom is still crying about it. Wow. Yeah. So you went to university for economics, and then—

I went to university twice for economics. I got my master's, too. Really? Yeah. So you went all the way down the line with it. Mm-hmm. So you've analyzed the economy of canadian stand-up yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm aware there's no money and i still went for it did you all the while you were training

to be an economist did you want to be a stand-up or it was no no what happened what happened to What happened? Yeah. You were fine. No, I hit my head very severely. No, I, well, so I moved to Toronto to do comedy because at the time I was working at the bank in Ottawa. And then I had just, I read some books. Oh, boy, they're the gateway for sure. Listen, it's a tale as old as time. I read some books about comedy and I thought, yeah, I should move cities to do it. No, but I did the Second City. I read Tina Fey's book and she talked about the Second City.

And then I found out there was one in Toronto. So I moved offices within the bank and I moved to the Toronto office and then I started doing the Second City. Oh, wow. Yeah, and then I did improv for a few years until I was like, you know what? It's too much of other people, not enough of me. And then I went and did stand-up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's often a well-charted course. I think people who tried improv were like, well, I don't need the rest of you guys. I'll take it from here, i don't i remember i read tina facebook yeah i don't know if i remember any of it except like the story of how she got that scar on her face yeah yeah yeah uh i also read the book and uh it it didn't change my life quite as much as you but you that's literally a book that changed your life yeah i guess so yeah yeah you're wearing bossy pants right now thank you so much these are my podcasting pants i was like this is an audio production i'm really gonna

dress up for this is there a book that changed your life? You know, a book that changed a facet of my life was when I read Fast Food Nation. That's when I decided to not eat meat anymore. Oh, wow. That pushed me over the edge. And also The Easy Way to Quit Smoking. Oh, right. I recently read that. I'm not a smoker, but I just read it because I love books.

I shouldn't have outed myself as a reader. No, this is great because I don't think I've ever met anybody who doesn't smoke who's read that book. It was a quick read. I got it out in one afternoon. And do you smoke now? As a reverse psychology. No, but did it reinforce that you don't smoke? Yeah, no, I read it and I was like, wow, I'm living my life right.

Thank you for reaffirming my life choices. I don't want to smoke. But I liked it for, like, it's very, well, I like that it's not prescriptive. Like, it doesn't tell you to do anything in particular. It just changes the way that you think about certain things, like your own beliefs. I love that. What's the core argument of this book? He kind of argues that smoking, unlike something like drinking, is not fun.

Like you don't actually enjoy it. You're addicted to it. Is he a drunk? He also wrote The Easy Way to Start Drinking. After every jab, he's like, but by the way, drinking still rules. You flip to the end of the book, and the back page is The Easy Way to Start Drinking. But it kind of is like that you don't actually enjoy it, and your brain has tricked yourself into believing that this is something you enjoy, this is something you like, but it's actually just something you're addicted to.

And kind of, like you say, how to change your thought process. Are most addictions things that you also like? I think maybe when you start them? Because like, I'm addicted to sugar and I love it. Yeah. But that's what they say, which I think is so interesting is he said that like nicotine addiction is real and it does feel uncomfortable, but it's not to the degree of discomfort that addicts report. So it just feels a little uncomfortable, like you have two tight shoes or whatever he says. Right.

But then he says the added thing that makes it so unbearable is like your belief that it's going to make you happy right yeah yeah so once you unchain that once you're like oh smoking is not going to make me happy or less stressed then that like base level of nicotine addiction is like a very tolerable sensation right yeah yeah yeah and i really did read this book there's look i didn't doubt you for a second, but I'm glad that you provided a little proof. I'm also a shopaholic. I break into high schools and I make birdhouses. Yeah, I think if I tried to quit sugar, I would go probably very insane very quickly.

Because I don't realize how much I eat every day, but it's probably a lot. Well, I also feel like if I said I was going to quit sugar, I would be like, I'm going to quit sugar as soon as I finish all the sugar that's already in the house. And all the gifts I'll get from people who are like, well, I hear you're quitting sugar. How about one last. How about you? Sugar? I used to. I love sugar.

I'm on board with all the junk foods. I can't stop eating chips right now in Vancouver. You guys have such beautiful, interesting chips. We do? I think so. More than in Toronto. Well, I, you know. What are we?

We have local chips? I don't know if they're local. Your grocery stores just have bigger aisles of chips. Wow. I got a honey Dijon kettle chip.

Yeah. Yeah. How was that? So good. That sounds really good. Yeah. So I'm all about it. There's a brand

of chip here. Maybe it's everywhere called Hard Bite. Okay. And it just sounds uncomfortable. Yeah. It sounds like it's going to hurt my teeth. Okay. And it just sounds uncomfortable. Yeah. It sounds like it's going to hurt my teeth.

But I want to try it. There's, at the grocery store near my house, there's a bunch of Lay's chips, but they're all just like Indian spices. And I've never seen that in any other store. But I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. Is it going to be too spicy? No, I feel like it's very interesting here. In Toronto, it's just ketchup chips.

Well, those are the ones I love. It's chips. It's ketchup chips. It's the whole city. I see the ketchup chips and then I stop looking, I think. I think that's about right. Yeah. Wow.

I never thought about our chip culture here but all right i'm an observational comedian yeah my job here i'm not a chip eater i mean i'll eat them and okay i'm a chippy but we have so many chips in the house and i don't want any of them i don't want them when I'm at home, but when I go to somebody else's home and they're presented, I want all of them. Yeah, I often don't think about chips. And then once I become aware of them around, then I get into a phase where I'll just eat a ton of them. Yeah, yeah. We took a little trip last weekend, and we just went to the grocery store that's not the trip

we went to the grocery store on gabriela island and we were just having a uh we were going to take the girls to a playground and abby went to get a couple snacks from the grocery store and i was like get some bananas and a big bag of choritos. And so we went to the playground where they played, and we finished an entire big bag of Doritos. And it's so great when a two-year-old has to go shoulder deep into a bag. Yeah, it's weird. I don't ever think about chips. I don't buy them.

I almost never buy them. But if they're around, then I suddenly am in think about chips. Like I don't, I don't buy them. I almost never buy them. But if, if they're around, then I suddenly, uh, I'm in love with them. I'm, I'm just potatoed out.

I don't. What about a corn chip? Yeah, there's other types of chips. Yeah, that's why I like a Dorito. There, uh,

I was in Edmonton and the, the girl that I was on the weekend with gave me, as a friendship offer, these chili rice chips oh snap they were gluten free yo we became best friends so do you do you demand some sort of friendship offering from every weekend i don't i don't demand it but it helps it helps you imply i'm not above a good bribe you know what i mean yeah yeah absolutely i'll take it. I'm a small time comic. Yeah. A rice chip.

I've never had like a rice chip. I've had a rice cracker. I've had a rice cake. Yeah, I've had a rice cake. I've had just rice. I love it. Yeah. It was only a matter of time before they moved into the chip industry.

It's true. Yeah. It's true. But like sugar wise, what's your go to? Like what's the irresistible? Donuts. Donuts. I love donuts.

I hear there's a place here called Duffin's Donuts. There is. Yeah. I'm planning on robbing it. Yeah, donuts are, that's again, that's one that I never think about. But if I'm confronted with donuts. Yeah, it's an assault. Yeah, donuts are, that's again, that's one that I never think about, but if I'm confronted with donuts. Yeah, it's an assault. Yeah, I will.

People bring them into an office and you're a jerk if you don't have one. And you're super nice if you have two, so. The office politics are weird, though. You can't have a whole donut. That's rude. That's offensive. Really? You have to cut them into little chunks

and then all the donuts end up being in tiny little things and everyone's on a race to see how small a chunk they can cut off a donut. This is a very specific phenomenon. I've worked in a lot of offices. You've worked in, yeah, I'm going to defer. What about office cake? What's the rule around cake?

Same thing? Cutting as little pieces as you can? I think if there's cake in an office, it's like a situation that's moderated. So it's someone's job to ration out the cake. Right. Yeah, exactly. We just gathered around the cake. We all sang to the cake.

We were worried that some kind of whoever owns the right set. Happy birthday. Yeah, so we made up our own song. Yeah, we have our own office. Happy birthday, cha-cha-cha. Yeah, it's your birthday. Time of year. Moon goes around the sun.

The earth goes around the sun. Moon goes around the earth. That's the time of your month. Happy the sun the earth goes around the sun moon goes around the earth that's the time of your month happy birthday and period to you oh my god did you work at my office at the bank of canada did you i was gonna ask when you said you worked at the bank of canada i was hoping you would say i was an economist in charge of picking who got on the dollar bills. Oh, yeah. No, that was above my pay grade. Did you ever get to meet the loony? Just the loon on the loony?

Yeah. No, I did not. I didn't have the honor. I wasn't high up enough. I did meet the governor. Okay. So I. General?

Of the bank. The governor of the bank? Yeah, the guy who runs it. He's called the governor. Okay. So I. General? Of the bank. There's a governor of the bank? Yeah. The guy who runs it. He's called the governor. He's fancy. Wow. He wears a hat.

No, he doesn't. He could. He could wear a hat. I would have believed it. Yeah. Like a tri-corner. Yeah. Hear ye, hear ye.

I had a bad habit of going to work late because I'm a night person. So I would always show up like a teensy bit late. And so would the governor. So then I was like, oh, it's fine. He's also slacking. The top guy showing up late. So I also can show up late. I'm also going to park in his parking spot.

So we would take the elevator together sometimes. And it was wildly awkward. He was very nice to me. He would like try to be like. He would give you elevator together sometimes. And it was wildly awkward. He was very nice to me. He would like try to be like. He would give you an offering gift. He would show up with chips and be like, you know, let's be buddies. No, he would like be like, how about the weather? And I would just, I don't know.

And I was so young. I was like 22 or 23. And I was just like, it's good. And then we would ride to the top of the building. So it was a very long elevator ride. He's like, have you read the new tina fey book changed my life yeah the uh uh like it's such a it's such a it seems like such a strange leap from like economics to i think it is though but it's jimmy carr also did the same thing. He was in business and finance. Right.

And then he decided out of nowhere to become a stand-up comedian. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a lot of people. Michelle Wolf used to work on Wall Street. Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah. I didn't know that.

Was there anybody else in your office that you would like that was funny? Because obviously you're funny. Oh, thank you so much. Oh, you're welcome. Oh, please. I was waiting for this. Let me timestamp this. I don't know that I're funny in an office, like the higher up you are, because like towards the end when I started, when I quit my job, I was like middle managing.

Okay. The more you go up, the more when you're funny, it's very offensive and people are really mad about it. Oh, really? They don't want you to be funny. Yeah. Like they're okay with underlings being funny? Yeah. Because you have no power.

So everyone's like, oh, they just don't know they're being so cute. But then if you crack a joke and there's like, you're managing a two million dollar project, they're like, hey, let's relax a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is serious. This is numbers. Yeah. They don't like it when you're funny. You've been in, I mean, I don't know if you've worked in an office,

but you've seen The Office. I've seen The Office. And so the- Both the British and the American. Yeah, and so the higher ups, they're, I mean, mean they try to be funny but it's not appreciated yeah the lower downs they say something that's kind of funny then they look into the camera yeah yeah yeah yeah that's how it was at our office the camera was only for the underlings um and how, how is your, like, how long have you been doing standup for? Um, not that long.

Like, I guess like four or five years at this point. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's like, that's like mixed in with improv and stuff. It all kind of smushes together. Like I didn't do standup, uh, like as consistently at the start. Right. But yeah.

And now you're touring. Now I'm touring. Look at me. Do you like it? I do like it. Yeah. But yeah. And now you're touring. Now I'm touring. Look at me. Do you like it? I do like it. Yeah. I, I miss my cat.

Tell me about this cat. I, oh, this cat. Stop. We're just this whole podcast. Um, uh,

she's, I mean, okay. So she's great. I got her from the shelter when she was a tiny baby and then she's been real sweet. And then, um, for a, we thought she might be racist. Sure. Lots of cats are.

She's a cute white cat. And then we thought, oh, no, maybe she just knows from her people. But then because she didn't like a lot of black people. And that was a little stressful. But then she was really mean to a white lady. And then we were like, oh, good. She's just mean. She was an equal opportunity.

She's a misogynist, it sounds like. Is it only ladies? No, no, no. No, no, no, no. She doesn't like anyone. So that's been great. Do you remember, speaking of racist cats, do you remember the cats that look like Hitler? That may have been a tumbler.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But those cats didn't, they weren't, they just looked like racist cats. Yeah. They might not have actually been racist. Okay. But no, she's very sweet.

Yeah. She's very sweet. She is not racist. She just doesn't like anyone that's not me, so. Ah, there you go. But that's the kind of love I like. I like the exclusive kind of love. Yeah. She's very sweet. She is not racist. She just doesn't like anyone that's not me. So. Ah, there you go. But that's the kind of love I like. I like the exclusive kind of love. Sure.

Right. It's not worth. It's not worth anything to me if she loves everyone. Oh, I see. You need devotion. Yes, of course. Ah, yeah. Okay.

Yes, of course. Of course. That's why I'm in comedy. Excuse me. The microphone is in my face. Is it just you and the cat in Toronto or are you living with somebody else? Now, yes. I now live in a one bedroom by myself and it's way more than I can afford.

But I used to live with a roommate and then she was a racist. Oh. So you were like. Did you know her before you moved in? I did, which is why it was so stressful. We had been friends for a really long time because before I'd only quit my job for less than two years, like maybe a year and a half. So before that, I was fine. Like I could have lived on my own and I did for a very long time.

But then this girl, we had been friends since high school. Right. And she moved to Toronto as well. And then we just decided to move in together because we would be buddies and friends. And so I'd known her for a really long time. And at the time that we moved in, it was maybe three weeks before the U.S. election, like right before Trump got elected, when everyone thought it was still going to be Hillary Clinton. Yeah. And then we moved in.

And then at the time, I know that she was liberal because we were talking about politics at the time. And then over those two years, turned oh yeah and it's been very it's a he's a compelling twitter follow yeah that's true and he looks really handsome in those hats the governor of America. That's wild. Yeah. It was, I didn't see, well,

like, I don't know. You don't see it coming. Cause you're just, you're in that house with that person. And you're like, this person's my friend. And then stuff would happen. And you're just trying to piece it together.

So I lived with her for two years and then it got insane at the end. And so really, yeah, she would like, for the last six months that I was living there with her for two years and then it got insane at the end and so really yeah she would like um for the last six months that i was living there with her every morning she would wake up super early and then just blast jordan peterson lectures throughout our apartment Oh, man. She was really sending a message. And, like, listen, I loved our apartment. It was super cheap.

We had a two-bed, two-bath downtown, like, right in the middle of everything. And it was, like, the most beautiful. We had high ceilings. Did you have the cat back then? Yeah. Okay. Maybe the cat's been listening to these lectures. No, I looked between my roommate and my cat and I was like, this cat's fun.

No, but then I loved my apartment so much and it's so insane to rent places in Toronto that for a long time I was like, I don't care that you're racist. Please just use your headphones in the morning. But she wouldn't do it. I would ask her to use her headphones and she just blatantly would not.

Well, you got the high fidelity Jordan Peterson. You get that warm, low edge, you know? Oh, boy. On vinyl? It's the best of vinyl. Well, I have two copies. I frame them. Yeah, yeah.

I frame one, and then I listen to the other. Yeah. Wow. one and then i listened to the other yeah uh wow that's um yeah i've never been in a in a similar situation where good congratulations yeah all my all my roommates stayed very consistent they did they didn't change over time you know depending on the president of a different country. Yeah. Wow. But like, this is the thing that was so insane was that she's really smart.

She's a PhD student at the University of Toronto and she's like super clever. And so she got really swayed by the like. Does he teach at the University of Toronto? Yeah. Oh. But she's a chemist I should probably not say too many details I was surprised

it said this much she's not going to listen to this sure she said she's got something else to listen to no but she got

really swayed by like the pseudoscience like a lot there's a lot of race science out there and it's all fake but it's all really, it sounds very analytical. Yeah, but have you seen these skulls? Yeah, exactly.

Where the divots are and whatnot. No, it all comes down to skull shapes, for sure. And she would corner me in these long debates and tell me about. She'd be like, let me touch your head. I've gotten to kill me. Get on my pincers. Yeah. She would like really teach me about like the evolutionary paths of like,

it was really, it was a lot. Wow. I had to get out of there. Yeah. That's cause I've heard stories of, of other people that I'm friends with that had roommates that, you know,

kind of went cuckoo, but never this specific. that I'm friends with that had roommates that, you know, kind of went cuckoo. But never this specific of a thing. Oh, yeah. I just am very loose with details. I probably should have veiled it a little bit more. She wasn't a chemist. She was a physicist. Yeah.

Wow. Well, I'm glad I'm glad that you found a place for just you and your cat. Yeah. Yeah. It was kind of nuts. There was about a month in the middle where I was just homeless because I had moved all my stuff out of there because she was breaking into my room and stuff. That's no good. And so I'd moved all my stuff out and it was nuts.

I hadn't been sleeping there because I couldn't because she kept waking me up. Did she ever show up at your new place like John Cusack with a boombox? Oh, my God. That would be so cute. But no, I did not tell her why I moved too, obviously. No, so I'd moved all my stuff out. And then there was about a month where I just like had nowhere to stay. And also I couldn't sleep there anyway because she was just like like, waking me up in the mornings with her insane lectures, like, YouTube videos.

And luckily, like, I just packed all my stuff into a van because I was so stressed out. And then I was like, oh, shit, where am I going to put it? And then there was a comedy club up in Brampton that let me store all my stuff, like, in there. And that was really nice. And then I just couch surfed with comedians for a month in Toronto. How was that? It was honestly

quite nice. Like everyone took really good care of me. I was really touched that the community was so nice about it. Yeah. Yeah.

And also like a lot of comics came and helped me move because none of them have jobs. So it was great. It's true. But a lot of them also probably not strong backs. So... But I got many of true. But a lot of them also probably not strong backs.

But I got many of them. Ah, yeah, yeah. That's the key. I actually kind of overshot it because I was afraid no one would come help me.

So I asked too many people but they all showed up and I was so touched about it but then there were like eight comics at my house

moving my stuff in. It was very quick. I love that you think comics don't have strong backs like a like a like a someone a racist against comics just yeah yeah you know look at the bone structure of your average not very good a lot of stooped shoulders and uh um you know A lot of them are malnutrition, to be fair. Yeah, exactly. They live in basements, so they have the hunch. Yeah, of course. That's true.

See? No, I agree. They smoke. They don't know they don't like smoking. They've read two books. Yeah. That's really nice. That's like a nice,

that's, that's probably the nicest couch surfing story I've ever heard. Yeah. To be honest, I really love, I feel like comics are all shitheads, but then when, when,

when things, you're welcome. But when like things happen, the community has really been there for me. Like even when I'm touring out here, I'm staying with comics, and people are getting me on shows and stuff. And, like, I've never met them before. It's just because we're comics, and we know people in common. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. We shouldn't do that. Listen, if someone wants to pay me more money so that I can afford a place, I would be very open to it. No, I just, yeah. Comics are all shitheads. But I'll stay on. It's a couch of one I've never met. Yeah, we're worried about you.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Thank you. I appreciate it. So I can use your cash next time. Is that what we're saying? Oh, yeah, yeah. Go for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go for it. Go for it. Dave, what's going on with you man um like i mentioned i just we haven't recorded actually in a couple weeks uh because you were away at the beginning of last week and i was away at the end of last week i went on a trip with my family surf and safari surf it was fun but like nothing really worth talking about. Where did you get a Safari? It wasn't a Safari. It was neither Surf and nor Safari.

Yeah, it was neither Surf and nor Safari. But what I will say is we've been getting really into movies I've never seen before from the disney corporation oh yes because i grew up the youngest of four kids and i never all my older siblings were past the disney movie age and so i never watched any of those movies and uh because i just i wanted to do older kids stuff and so like i think in my life before i I had kids, I had seen The Great Mouse Detective, Aladdin, and 101 Dalmatians. No Lion King? Nope. No Lion King.

No Little Mermaid. All right. No Beauty and the Beast. Wow. And I'm finally seeing them all. I haven't seen Lion King still. That's great. Margo watched it once on vhs and kept

wanting to rewind to the part where the dad dies dad watch this i wasn't there uh but uh yeah so uh uh here are my take here are my hot hot takes on Disney movies. Here it comes. Okay, Little Mermaid. They should all be so much more buff because they're swimming all the time. Yes. Yeah, although. King Crichton. But they don't swim with their arms, though. They body roll.

They body roll, but 24 hours a day they're in the water. Yeah, but, you know, look at a whale. No abs there. A whale is all muscle yeah i know but it doesn't show you got that layer of blubber i just mean like you know broader shoulders well king triton king triton yes but is his seven daughters um you know mostly she's just hanging around with a crab. Yeah. And a fish. And is that reggae music?

Is Under the Sea reggae? It's probably my favorite reggae song. I don't. Yeah. Like, I think she wasn't like a power swimmer. She was just kind of like an incidental swimmer. She would just swim from point A to point B kind of lazily. Sometimes they have those little seahorse carriages to get them from place to place. That's true.

Right. Yeah, the fancy ones. They have transport. They've got little seahorse taxis. Have you seen all these movies? Yes, of course. What are you talking about? I don't know.

Have you? Yeah. Little Mermaid. I Yeah. Little Mermaid. I've seen Little Mermaid. Little Mermaid was like the first. And I love Ursula. I love her. Oh, yeah.

She's the best. She's based on Divine. I know. And it's great. And her big song is the best song. And she shakes. She does like shimmy. Yeah.

She's great. These movies are all very short too. They're all from before a time where everything had to be two and a half hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So sometimes I'll leave the room. My kids have watched these movies 10 times now and I've not seen the whole thing. And there's big, so much can happen in five minutes because the movies are so short. you're like oh so she's a different ursula is now a human woman yeah yeah there's yeah there's a lot can happen yeah in a in a disney and things wrap up real quick

yeah that's true i mean you know uh good yeah but i think there was like what uh little mermaid was the first of the like resurgence of disney movies no one liked the 80s disney movies wait i thought wasn't uh snow white the like that was the first movie the first ever disney movie yeah that was the first and then i was watching a documentary about walt disney and they gave him an oscar for that movie but it was an oscar with one big oscar and seven little oscars what yeah and it was presented to him by shirley temple and i was like well when did the oscars decide to like. The theme Oscars. Personalize. They should. They absolutely should. Absolutely they should. Yeah.

So like what won best picture this year? I could not remember. La La Land. No. No that was. That was two years ago and it lost. Yeah. No.

Last year was. The year before was Shape of Water. So they could have done like a fish monster oscar yeah having sex with another oscar yeah um jesus what did we it was a really bad year for movies yeah it was like bohemian rhapsody was nominated boy i could not was it stars born no no no what this is the internet i would i would know if the because the internet would have exploded all i only know my news from twitter that's all that oh they don't cover yeah no one covered it on twitter best picture 2019 green book oh yeah green book didn't see it so it'd be an oscar driving a car with another oscar in the back Best Picture 2019. Green Book. Oh, yeah.

Green Book. Didn't see it. So it would be an Oscar driving a car with another Oscar in the back seat. Yeah, that's fun. But yeah, these Disney movies are fine. I think they're good. The songs are all good. The songs are good.

Animation's really nice. Yeah, they're all good. It's good. It's good pictures. Yeah. Except I remember Beauty and the Beast. It was a big thing when they were doing computers. It was a big deal back then that the camera goes from one end of the ballroom to the other. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you've seen the remake of this Beauty and the Beast. It's the same. Oh, the live action one? Yeah. Oh oh that one was bad with uh emma yeah something watson thompson that would have been sick yeah why not yeah uh and they've had their they're remaking lion king they're remaking they remade aladdin yeah. They're remaking. They remade Aladdin. Yeah. They just got to do Mermaid. Which they will. And I think those four are the ones that like, because there's later 90s Disney movies that

I don't. Have you seen like Frozen and stuff? Yeah. Like the newer ones? Yeah. Okay. And Tangled. Tangled's good.

See Mulan? No. What about Pocahontas? No. Pocahontas, no. Pocahontas is good. Yeah? Yeah.

What about, there's ones, is Hercules Disney? Hercules is Disney. Is the Emperor's New Groontas? No. Pocahontas, no. Pocahontas is good. Yeah? Yeah. What about, there's one, is Hercules Disney? Hercules is Disney. Is the Emperor's New Groove Disney? Yes. Is it really? That's a great one. Is it? Yeah.

It's hilarious. It's so good. It was supposed to be a direct-to-video movie, and it was so good that they released it in the theater. Whoa. Yeah. And it was so funny. It's great.

Got Putty in it. David Spades in it funny it's great got putty in it david spades great i had no idea i assumed it was like uh just like everything you know that because i feel like those four from from uh little mermaid to lion king are kind of like thought of as the classics i don't know yeah yeah i would say so and like but and i assumed emperor's new groove was like uh-oh we better get we better buy pixar no that one was really funny yeah it's really good uh but like then they stopped doing that that style and now they're just remaking all their old movies. Are they making anything original anymore? I guess not.

Disney? Yeah. I don't, I mean. Like once in a while they will. I'm not sure that any of it's that original to begin with. No. You know, they're all old stories. That's true.

They used to be books. Yeah. You all have great points. Yeah, but like. Which ones are your faves? Of all of them, all of them? Well, the ones you've seen. You can't comment.

Including modern ones? Sure. I think Moana is probably the best of the ones I've seen. Oh, I haven't seen that one. There you go. Yeah. You've got some work to do. It's true.

It's true. I'm slacking. I always liked Aladdin. I like that. I like Aladdin. We haven't rewatched that. That's one of the ones I have seen. You know, Robin Williams is the genie.

Can't miss. That was the role he was born to play. And the role that Will Smith eventually would play. Who would you prefer? Dane Cook. Yeah, no, you're right. He's got the right energy for it. Oh, boy.

Why not? Why not? So, yeah, that's what we've been doing the other thing is i went to a movie the other night and it was um i saw a book smart oh yeah it was fun i heard it's good uh but i i was by myself and the theater was not very full it was a monday night and I, uh, was sitting, uh, and in the row behind me, there were these two 50 ish women chatting before any, while the lights were still up and they were just talking and I was, Oh,

get a good overheard for the show. And they were so boring. They were like, they were completely useless to listen to. And then the lights go down and they start playing commercials not trailers these women do not stop talking for one second they just keep up the same pace and i'm like okay well this is fine people people talk during the commercials yeah absolutely when the trailers start maybe it'll be different uh trailersers start. They keep talking, not even about the trailers, just motoring through their conversation about how their kids are going through puberty.

And I'm like, okay, well, what am I going to do? I can't, I'm not even going to shoot them a dirty look. I'll wait and see until, but I'm planning. I'm like, if they keep this up during the movie there's gonna be some corrective action here i'm going to i'm in a position where i can take the high road i can pick up my drink throw it at them throw it at them and say get out pick up my drink give them like a dirty look and go sit elsewhere yeah like's the ultimate, like non-confrontational thing. Huh?

Rump. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm working up the courage to do that. I'm like, Oh, this shaft movie looks really good. There was also a trailer for this movie.

If book smart is like the kind of the female super bad. Yeah. Then this movie, there's this other movie that's the female super bad yeah then this movie there's this other movie that's like the super bad for 11 year olds finally and they both both these movies book smart and this other movie have the same run the jewels song in them they're very similar looking movies anyway anyway shaft looks really good did you do it did you walk away from the well then the then the movie started and they stopped oh no i was like oh darn it you you were robbed of your hero moment because like if someone's talking in a movie and you have to shush them or even if you have to give them a dirty look and you stay there and there's nowhere to go.

Right. You're the whole time in my head. I'm like, oh, God, what's this person behind me doing? Are they plotting to kill me? Are they going to the lobby to get some piano wire? It is the perfect place to kill you, though. Just wait until the big loud scene. Oh, boy.

So, yeah. That's me watching Disney and planning to move chairs. I sum it up. It doesn't sound that exciting. Um, but you know what? It was the journey, not the destination.

What's up with you? Um, last week I went to Calgary. Yeehaw. Yeehaw. Yeehaw. Uh, visited my, uh, my parents and, um, my parents came, picked me up at the airport and on the drive to the house, they were like, uh, there's this owl in this park and everybody's talking about this owl.

Everyone in the city. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, all right. And they're Everyone in the city? Yeah. And I was like, I was like, all right. And they're like, want to go see it? I was like,

yep. So right from the airport to the park. Is the park on the way? Nope. Is the park on the other side of the airport? No, it was far away. Okay.

What is this owl's deal? What's everyone talking about? This, this owl has set up a nest in this tree right off of a path. And when you say nest, do you mean like a remote control thermostat? Like an app for your thermostat? I don't know what this is. Okay. But this owl had outlets

is that oh okay and like like for his electronics yeah yeah yeah thank you this is a very

tech savvy bird I understand why everyone's interested who's his agent because he's doing great and I was like we went to the park

and there were so many fucking people staring at this tree. I think in the town we just had babies. Yeah. That's it? But you could see the owl and the babies up in the tree, which was pretty great. I must admit, it was pretty great once we got there.

It wasn't really sold on how it was going to be, but when I got there, it was fantastic. But there was like a hundred people standing around looking at this owl. Did anyone bring like a snack, a treat, a friendship offering? Here's a mouse. Yeah, everybody was holding up mice. There were 100 people there. Did you set up an open mic night? That would have been great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. I've definitely been at comedy shows that had fewer people. Yeah. I set up a microphone. I called it Under the Owl Tree Comedy. Yeah. And then everybody left.

Yeah. There's no faster way to clear out a room. You know, if there's ever a fire somewhere, you should just start an open mic. Yeah, that's true. People will be like, oh, then we can put on my coat. Or have a violinist come from table to table. Yeah, that's true. People will be like, ah, time to put on my coat. Or have a violinist come from table to table. Oh, yes, absolutely.

Or somebody selling roses. These are all great. These are great techniques. Yeah, actually, the way to clear out a place is to have people with, like, those bibs and Amnesty International

clipboards. Like, in a building, every floor has somebody that has to put on one of those and walk from desk to desk. The clipboard Marshall. So I, so I saw this owl and then I happened to be in town. Well, we have, that happens here from time to time where like an owl or something like an eagle there's like yeah some the most recent one i don't think anyone saw it because it happened late at night but it was the otter eating koi fish yeah and there was

also a really like beautiful duck that was here was a beautiful duck. How beautiful is this duck? Like beautiful. Picture the most beautiful duck you've ever seen in your head. It's just a normal duck though. This was not. Did he have like, I don't know, like eyelash extensions? Yes, that eyelash extension, a lip plumper. A lot of filler.

An ass that wouldn't quit yeah it was like multi colored it was like it was like all like

rainbow kind of duck it was amazing wow yeah and people like traveled to go see this duck

yikes but admit that if you were, if that duck showed up in Toronto and you heard about it, you would go see that duck. Wouldn't you? I mean, it depends if that duck's near the TTC line or not.

If he's off the subway line. I don't know. Where was the duck? It was in the Central Park at Burnaby. Oh. So off of a train line. Right. If it's subway accessible, then I'll go look at it for sure.

Okay. Yeah. But you would get on a train to go see a beautiful duck. Yeah, but I wouldn't take a streetcar. That would be too much. Oh, okay. Right? Like a bus is out of the question.

So I'm not for it. I've never taken a streetcar in Toronto, I'm afraid. Too scary. You would if there was a beautiful duck. Oh, yeah. Sure. So, yeah. I saw that owl and then I happened to be in town during when the last episode of Game of Thrones was airing and my parents have watched every episode.

I have never seen an episode. So I decided to watch the last episode, just dive right in. So I decided to watch the last episode. Just dive right in. And I never have watched the show. I have no investment in it whatsoever. And even I recognized that at that ending. I was like, this is a snooze.

This is boring. This can't be exciting for people who... Were you a fan of the show? No. No. Did you watch any of it? I did. I watched the first... I didn't watch the whole first season.

I watched like a bit of the first season. At the time that it was airing, I was backpacking through Europe and I got very, very sick. Oh, no. I was like on the verge of death. And then. Seriously? Yeah, yeah. I was like, I took a, I got sick in Istanbul and then I flew to London and then promptly died.

And then I was like, I had to go to the hospital. Where they brought you back to life. They, I had to get hooked up to an IV. It was a whole situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you get sick from? Do you know? I don't even know.

I think it was just like some terrible flu. Like I was just like out. And then I thought I might have to, this does circle back to Game of Thrones. No, no, no. Yeah, it doesn't have to though. But I thought I might just have to fly back to Canada. But luckily, a lovely British family just took me in. What?

Like you're padding? Strangers like to help me. Yeah. I'm sensing a very reoccurring theme. I'm on a lot of strangers' couches. It's international. Yeah, you kind of hobo around and everybody's like

well we'll take care of her we'll welcome her in as one of our own I think that I have a very like happy but helpless look that people are attracted to yeah people are just like

we can't leave her on the street and just like weather yeah yeah yeah no we need to bring her in yeah so just this like

nice British family took me in, and then I was just sick in their house for a week, and so I couldn't go anywhere. And then they were watching Game of Thrones. Right. So I just... And you were like, change the channel. Well, first of all, British TV is insane.

Other than Game of Thrones, it's just these four-hour-long TV shows about traffic cops. I think you were having some sort of fever. No, I'm serious. It's like the show Cops, you know? Yeah.

It's just traffic cops. And it's just like really polite British officers giving people tickets. And that's it. Slow down. On the M5. I promise you that is a real show wow uh yeah and uh you know i pitch tv shows and they're not getting on tv but that stuff's doing it yeah well yeah are they four hour shows or is it like just a marathon like the way if you

weren't really paying attention it would seem like like you could watch a four hour Storage Wars. Listen, I guess. But if it's getting four hours of play on television, although it was midday, but still, it was just like episode after episode. It was just a lot of it. Yeah. Yeah. But you're right. It's midday.

I mean, anything goes. Anything goes midday. It's crazy. It's crazier than it used to be. The shows are even more boring than you remember. And yet somehow better made. Yeah, they're better made, but it's like, it's crazy what's going on on daytime TV. Well, we were talking a while ago about Mr. Bean and how I didn't know when it was made. Like assumed I was watching they looked like they were made in 1980 but they were made in 1990. But I just assumed that I was watching

something old but it could have been a brand new episode. I feel like that doesn't happen so much anymore. No, TV looks really good. Real glossy. But so I watched this game. Was Mr. Bean in it? He might as well have been.

It's this is my, this is, this is what I picked up from. This is all the storylines I managed to cobble together from watching that last episode was Peter Dinklage. Yeah. Real rascal. Yes. An imp. Yeah Yeah. Real rascal. Yes.

An imp. Yeah, a real rascal. The queen, dragon queen. Yep. Cold hearted. Cold hearted. Yeah. Not when I was watching.

No, but she took a turn. Okay. And then Jon Snow, born loser. Yeah. And, uh, and the council, there's like a scene.

Did you watch it? No. There's a scene where the council, they're trying to decide who, who should be King. So dumb. And one guy goes, well,

we should let, we should let the people decide. He basically proposes democracy and everybody laughs at him. Anyways. But I watched the first four seasons maybe. And I was like, this is boring. I'm tired of pretending to like this. I don't know any of the people's names.

I don't know how any of them know each other. look identical yeah and like i would watch and i met at a company barbecue i would watch and like i remember there was the red wedding where they killed a whole family and i was like and everyone was freaking out and i was like is that a big deal i feel like people die all the time on this show yeah yeah why why is this more important than whatever yeah and the fact that everyone's fighting over this throne and then they're just like well let's uh let's all get together just talk it out in the last episode yeah there was there was honest to goodness there's a there was a one minute long scene where peter dinklage is just rearranging chairs at a table what is uh who gets the chair in the end uh oh no nobody nobody ends up getting the chair

because uh a dragon melts it down oh yeah so there's no chair chair of game of chairs there's no like cool guy at the end who sits on a background some real talk about the kingdoms i don't know what's in this there was a starbucks cup in one episode and there was a water bottle in this last doesn't bother me no it's fine. All of it. You know what? It's all fine because I never invested any time in it. Well, and when I watched, they never specifically said, like, it's not, they never said there wasn't Starbucks.

No, exactly. It's true. Aquafina could have been a brand in Game of Thrones. Like, it's not. Nobody said there was no commerce. It's not a historical fact that's right yeah

yeah no Seattle based Starbucks has strong reach and they have a strong marketing team and

like I can even though I invested literally one hour into this show I can see why everybody's mad because I was mad and i only watched that one

episode i was like well i watched you you tweeted it yeah you're watching it too yeah it's fun i tweeted uh at the very end the lyrics to another turn and find a fork struck in the road which that i may as well i never considered that song uh good riddance time if you're like yeah uh by green day i never considered that lyric that a fork is stuck in the road like someone has grabbed a fork and jammed it into the road green day was very punk they weren't afraid to do that with their cutlery. They were at one point. Yeah, so that's what I went to Calgary. Saw an owl. Oh, yeah.

Saw Game of Thrones. Got back on that plane and flew back. Did you do shows in Calgary? I did. I did a show, Comedy Monday Night. Oh, nice. Yeah. I was supposed to be on that show,

and then I went to Edmonton instead. Well, you got those trips. Yeah. Yeah. But I played the Calgary Yucks for the first time and that was really fun. It's part of a casino? Is that right? Yeah.

But they were so nice. They were so lovely. What did they do that was so nice? They picked me up from the airport. That is nice. Crazy. They were so nice. Again, I think because I look very helpless, but they just like... Is it like... Now like is it like now is it just you or are you carrying your luggage and stuff spilling out of it yeah what's so helpful

you've got your hand caught in a honey pot like what yeah i like to walk around with my honey pot just to get a little extra sympathy yeah like is it something that you're doing? Like, it skips some lines. Like, well, yeah, let her go ahead. No, no, I think they're really nice. They seem to, like, go out of their way for a lot of the comics. But, I mean, I was, like, pretty small on the bill. Like, I wasn't headlining or anything. And so I was really surprised that they took really good care of me. Yeah.

And, like, I stayed in the condo even though I wasn't supposed to. And it's, like, a little out of the way. And I wanted to go to the grocery store. And they just drove me there. Wow. Yeah. I was very surprised because they wanted to go home and I felt bad, but then they just took me to the grocery store.

And you're like, I just wanted these ketchup chips. I just wanted a big bag of Doritos. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. They're really lovely. And the club was really well run and everything.

Good. Well, it's always nice to hear those type of stories. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, you obviously, you do, you attract the kindness of strangers. You can always depend on the kindness of strangers. Should we move on to a little bit of business?

Yeah. Hi, everybody. It's me, Jumbotron Joe. Can I do a character for everything? For a Jumbotron? Sure. Okay. Okay.

Now, we have a Jumbotron. This is from Mike for Tamara. Or Tamara. for Tamara or Tamara Tamara and the message is happy big 4-0 birthday Tamara Tamara we hope you had

the time of your life with everyone up at Fort Awesome thank you for being the best wife a guy could ask for and making every day a hilarious adventure. Mike loves you so much. Seriously. And so does Pickle Mouse.

Yeah, Pickle Mouse also wants in on this. Yeah. Despite probably not pitching in money-wise. So, take it from me, Jumbotron Joe, happy birthday. If you would like a Jumbotron message on the show, go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. And this episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself is also brought to you in part by Squarespace. Oh, no, it's Squareface, my enemy. And Dick Tracy's enemy.

Yeah, that's true. But the enemy of my friend Dick Tracy is also My enemy. And Dick Tracy's enemy. Yeah, that's true, but the enemy of my friend Dick Tracy is also my enemy. How come I never see you and Dick Tracy together? Because we're not on speaking terms. Even though we're friends. I assure you, we're just not

talking at the moment. Do you communicate with some of those American sign language cards that a hearing impaired person might give to you. And also a pinafore. Or semaphore. Semaphore, yeah. Is that the one with the flags?

Yeah. Diver down. Now, here's the thing, Squareface. Oh, yeah. Our sponsor is Squarespace, which is a beautiful, customizable website that helps you make websites. A website that makes you make websites? What's next? A knife that helps you cut knives?

I guess that's what's next. Okay. But let's say that's your business, a knife that cuts knives, and you want a website for it. Head over to Squarespace. You can showcase your work, blog or publish content, announce an upcoming event, and more. What's next? A can full of cans? Possibly.

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Oh, because of my face. That's right. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use the offer code SPY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's Squarespace.com. Enter code SPY. My face is deformed. We are the host of My Brother, My Brother and Me.

And now, nearly 10 years into our podcast, the secret can be revealed. All the clues are in place, and the world's greatest treasure hunt can now begin. Embedded in each episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me is a micro clue that will lead you to 14 precious gemstones all around this big, beautiful blue world of ours. So start combing through the episodes. Let's say starting at episode 101 on. Yeah, the early episodes are pretty problematic, so there's no clues in those episodes. Uh, let's say starting at episode 101 on. Yeah, the early episodes are pretty problematic, so there's no clues in those episodes.

No, no, not at all. The better ones, the good ones, clues ahoy. Listen to every episode repeatedly in sequence. Laugh if you must, but mainly get all the great clues. My brother, my brother, me. It's an advice show, kind of, but a treasure hunt mainly. Anywhere you find podcasts or treasure maps. My brother, my brother and Me. It's an advice show, kind of, but a treasure hunt, mainly. Anywhere you find podcasts or treasure maps. My Brother, My Brother and Me. The hunt is on!

Well, here we are. It's 2019. What's hot in dog news? Well, I'll tell you what. I've got some hot ear news. According to the Los Angeles Times, the TSA is now deploying more floppy-eared dogs because they are less scary than pointy-eared dogs. I don't want to call out the Los Angeles Times,

but already a typo in the headline should be sticky, uppy ears. That is true. You know. But did you also know that Ford has created a concept dog crate that cancels out the noise of fireworks? I mean, yeah, it's about time. Yeah, it's about time. Ford, what have you been doing up until now?

Nothing. Did you know that dogs can smell 40 times better than humans, which I do believe means they can smell crime? It's hot 2019. For all your dog needs, come on over to Can I Pet Your Dog every Tuesday. Overheard. Overheard. It's a segment in which we hear things out there in the world and then we report them here on the El Podcasto.

And we always like to start with the guests. Cassie, would you lead the charge? Oh, okay. Well, it's not like a cute line or anything, but it was a very cute thing I saw. You don't have to be cute, by the way. Were you told that this was a segment where we do cute things? My brand is cute.

I'm staying on brand. Well, I was in Edmonton and I was taking their light rail train and I got very lost in it. And there was just this super old Chinese lady sitting in the back of the car and she was very dressed up. She had like full makeup on

and like a very high ponytail. She was so adorable. And then there was a cross from her. There was just a group of white girls that were there and they were putting their feet up on the seats. And she just laid into them. She yelled at them so much and for so long. Like they took their feet off the chairs and she kept yelling at them. And then she started videotaping them.

She took her phone out and she was like, I'm going to put you on YouTube because you're so rude. And then the white girls got like, it really went on for like 10, 15 minutes. And then the girls were like, please, like, stop yelling at us. Yeah, yeah. We learned our lesson. Like, we're not doing it anymore. It's so rude. And she just kept, she continued to keep, and it just like warmed my heart.

I wanted to go over there and tip her it was really lovely it was the sweetest thing it's a real it's a real it's a tale of two roots yeah yeah

it was a long and then then eventually she was it's too much yeah but she was so aggressive and she looked so sweet

she was so like put together and all that and then she just laid right into them. Wow. Real world star hip hop moment. Yeah.

It would have been like me at the movies if those ladies stopped talking and I started yelling at them. It is funny. It's a funny. You were talking for like 20 minutes before. I know you're not talking now. I'm going to put you on YouTube not talking, but I'm going to dub in talking. It's true. You should have had her at the movie theater with you.

She would have done it. Yeah, she's one of these, like an urban warrior just taking care of. Yeah. You know, she's. Taking care of the suburban light rail in Edmonton. Just watching over the city Yeah, she's not the hero that the city wants But it is the one they need

Yeah Dave, do you have an overhand? Mine is from a grocery store I was in a grocery store called Savon Foods Oh, yeah Here in Vancouver Shout out And I was just walking through the aisle And there was a, I'm guessing, boyfriend, girlfriend in their 30s.

And he was walking. They're both walking really quickly. And he was like a few steps ahead. And he was just like having a conversation over his shoulder back to her. And he was like, he said, you didn't learn about the Holocaust? And she said, clearly not to a point where I can recall. That's a very fancy way of saying no. Clearly not to a point that I can recall.

But there's also the kind of guy who knows too much about Nazis. I was sort of like, I bet he went really specific with like... Right. Yeah. Oh, no. To think that he was just like quizzing her on the Holocaust. And yeah, and this is their like, just like fun conversation. It's like, oh, wait till you get back to his place.

See his movie selection. Oh, brother. Yeah. I was on her side. Like, I feel like he was going pretty granular yeah yeah yeah and you know geez louise geez louise uh you know like if you're gonna have a conversation about the holocaust low tones not a not a shouting conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, that's all I'm saying. Yeah.

Yeah. This is a private. Yeah. Private Holocaust moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You haven't overheard?

I haven't overseen. I saw a dump truck, a waste management dump truck, big green guy. Uh-huh. And I've never seen this before i've never ever seen uh it had a movie poster on the side of it or i guess the whatever the last transformers movie was and it said transforming things it's what we do now if your brand partners with a dump truck. Or a garbage truck company. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, your movie's bad.

Even if you can't get a Happy Meal at McDonald's and you have to have a promotion with Subway, your movie's bad. But you go all the way down the trough to a dump truck company. I mean, it's a lot of real estate. Those are big trucks. And they go through all the neighborhoods on a weekly basis. It's true. It's somebody really thinking outside of the box. And like, okay, yeah, you're right.

They are everywhere. And it's such a generic name, waste management. Yeah. I think there's a waste management golf tournament or something. It's at a dump. Well, I think a lot of golf courses used to be dumps. That's true. Yeah, it's in Phoenix.

The Waste Management Phoenix Open. Shout out. Yeah. But like normally they're named after you know an insurance company or an investment firm it's true uh but waste management bigger and bigger all the time yeah they've got hidden money yeah they're gonna put it all where are they gonna put it all all our garbage yeah a lot of a lot of countries that uh we've sent garbage to are sending it back to us. And we don't seem to have a plan. I thought our plan was putting it on the moon.

Is that not the plan? I think that's an expensive plan. No, I think they just say putting it on the moon, like blaming the moon. Like, don't look at us. It was the moon. Oh, that moon. Yeah. In the recent, I don't know, recent weeks, I've read like three different news articles about countries.

They're like, we're sending it back to you. We don't even make that much. Maybe we do. We make the most per capita in the Western world. I believe it. Really? Yeah. There capita in the Western world. I believe it. Really? Yeah. There's so much space here.

That's true. But somehow then we still send it to other countries? Yeah. Yeah, why don't we ship it somewhere lame? Somewhere lame in our own country. Our own country's full of pretty lame stuff. Yeah. There's a lot of lame places here.

Sorry, other countries For calling you lame We got our own lame spot Yeah yeah yeah Now we also have Overheard sent in to us from people all Over this lame planet If you want to send one in you can send it in to

SBY at MaximumFun.org And This first one is two women. This is from Becky in Calgary. Hi. Two women eating wraps on a sunny patio of a vegan restaurant and one woman says I feel like it's always around

May that I'm like, why don't I eat more olives? Do you guys have that same around May? I don't know if I have a seasonal olive disorder disorder uh i definitely have some kind of i definitely go through like all of renaissance's yeah sure yeah i've definitely gone through yeah same thing where it's just like i'll have them maybe at a party and then uh then and then buy a jar. Acquired the taste for it.

It's like chips. It's like chips. Yeah. It's like chips. Do you like olives? Not really. Like, I don't dislike any food. Like, I'll eat anything.

But I'm not, like, super into olives. But you will still eat them. Yeah. I'm not going to turn down a free olive. Come on. I was raised right down a free olive. Come on. I was raised right. A free olive. In manners, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. As your grandmother taught you, never turn down a free olive. Yes, as I was. This British family took me in and fed me olives. I couldn't say no. This next one comes from Chester in Cleveland. I was walking my dog to get coffee when two cyclists. Why?

What? Oh, okay. I thought he meant it. Like, I'm taking my dog. The dog really wants some coffee. So I'm taking it. When two cyclists went by us in full regalia and I heard one of them say to the other, I've been eating beef snacks with caffeine in them.

Huh. Yeah. I don't get it. Yeah. But is that a thing that exists? I've taken like a Slim Jim and stirred a bit of coffee with it and sucking on it. That's what I'm picturing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it's ingenious because sometimes you eat the, like if you eat a lot of like meat and stuff, you get really sleepy. So then you get some caffeine in there. Right. Great lunch. And then you can still be productive in the afternoon.

Like a coffee infused turkey. Just stuff it in the turkey. Just pour a pot of coffee in the turkey. Yeah. Shake it around. Put it on mr bean's head yeah just some coffee gravy yeah yeah yeah no okay he was talking about them being uh cyclists in full regalia like i'm picturing the the the like spandex everything yeah the clip-on shoes yeah uh that like long helmet yeah is there a sport or like a hobby where there's more like gear that you buy into and cover yourself with i guess

i mean hockey i guess so but that's pretty head to toe yeah uh and then i feel like you can't you can't play hockey without that. Anyone can ride a bike. That's true. You don't need all that stuff to ride a bike. But it helps. Yeah. I guess so. This last one comes from Tom K. in San Diego.

A couple weeks ago as I was leaving the beach with my girlfriend, two young ladies were walking by us, and one of them said to the other, I'm just going to Hansel and Gretel my way into a relationship. What does that mean? What do you think that means? To Hansel and Gretel your way into a relationship? So Hansel and Gretel, they get lost in the woods, but they've got breadcrumbs. They've got breadcrumbs. Yeah. I think that just means like haphazardly wander into a room.

But then the analogy here is the relationship is like the oven. Yeah. The witch's oven. I'm going to eat my boyfriend's house. Find a boyfriend with an edible house full of... Oh, but that's true. That's just like, I was so hungry. I just kept eating his food and now we're in a relationship.

I feel like we get it. He just kept feeding me until, bam, now we're married. Yeah, yeah. Just kept giving me free olives and i just i just stayed i don't even like olives i get it now i'm on board i would also do it is the way the way to your heart is through your stomach just a couple free olives better because i can't even imagine that like if if you, if someone said, I'm going to three little pigs my way into a relationship, I'd guess come down his chimney, blow his house in. Yeah, I'm going to build a relationship out of declining materials. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, there's a wonderful world of Disney. Sure. For everyone. Okay, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. Spy pod one, like these people have.

Thank you, Dan and Mr. Jeff. This is Rachel in Pennsylvania. I am just leaving my polling space. I voted in today's Pennsylvania primary. And on my way out, a little boy, maybe seven years old. I can't understand you. I think the phone might be on the outside of the windshield. Election Day. And then a of the windshield. Election Day.

And then a beep. What is Election Day? Anyway. You're literally catching everything but your own voice. All right. Okay, that one was just a fun cautionary tale. Here's the real ones. Hey, Dave and Graham, this is Greg from Omaha calling in an overheard.

I work in a bookstore, and I was in the kids' department. There was this mom who had been reading to her kid just a bunch of different books all day long, and she was trying to get him interested in the new one while he was looking at toys. And she picked up this book called Elbow Grease, which is written by John Cena. It's like a kid's picture book. And she said, Hey, Dylan, this one's written by John Cena. And the kid responded in the biggest, most shocked voice,

John Cena is real? I mean, in fairness, if I found out there was a book written by the undertaker he's a real guy well no definitely like i remember as a kid there i think we've talked about in the 80s there were so many like is boy george a character or. Is Mr. T a real guy? Is Pee Wee Herman a guy? Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised to be a kid and think that John Cena was just a put-on.

I mean, I still don't know what to make of Sergeant Slaughter. Yeah, I wonder what kind of book was it cookbook kids book what was it called elbow grease elbow grease all right good for him yeah published author john cena yeah and voice of ferdinand the ball john cena yeah he's really he's he's going down the the rock road yeah he's trying he's trying to do the rocket. Multi-talented. Here we go. Next call.

Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Liz calling from Baltimore. I was in traffic in my neighborhood, and I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said, in huge letters, don't even think about dating my daughter. And then in tiny letters underneath of it, it said, date me, her closeted gay dad.

Don't even think about dating my daughter. Date me, her closeted gay dad. This is a bumper sticker? This is very niche. Who's selling these bumper stickers? And and also how closeted are you yeah yeah that's true i mean it's in very small print it's only for people who really care to know yeah yeah and it is uh it's it's thinking outside the box advertising wise like those

dump truck people yeah yeah it's like well maybe you advertise that you're a closet yeah yeah find somebody nice i mean boy bumper stickers are so bad for your paint that's all i have to say about that but that's the only thing stopping me from getting this one yeah that's a it's probably i think it's my favorite bumper sticker I've ever heard of. Yeah, it's pretty good. It is pretty good. You own a car? You a driver? Oh, no. No. I live in downtown Toronto. That would be counterproductive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So no bumper stickers for you. No bumper stickers. That's too

bad. Yeah. Maybe I'll get one of those and just stick them on my house. Yeah, it's so specific. It feels like... Custom-made. Custom-made, yeah. Must have got it on Zazzle. It's just him etching it into the bumper of his car.

Just keying it in. Here's your final phone call. Hey, this is Patrick Foy in Omaha. I haven't overheard from you. You're Omaha's. I was just coming out of a gas station, and as I was leaving, there was a guy smoking a cigarette, and he just said, Chomper.

And I didn't know if he was talking to me at first, so I kept walking, and then he looked right at me and said again, Chomper. And I said, I'm sorry? And he said, The plate. And I looked at him and I said, I don't, what? And he said, The plate, it says Chomper.

And then he pointed at a car that was like nowhere near me or him and it said Chomper. And I said, oh, yep, it does. And then as I was leaving, I heard him yell out to the guy who owned the car, what made you choose Chomper? Really liked that license plate, I guess. Well, off I go. Oh, man.

A real community effort there. Yeah. What makes anyone choose anything? I don't know. Yeah. There's one that's always parked around my house that says Kin Win. Like, is that a person's name? Is one of those a name?

Is that fun for anyone? Is that fun? Yeah. If your license plate is only fun for you get rid of it like you should be entertaining the rest of us yeah the only license plate i'll accept now is one that's like uh you know an acronym is an acronym for a don't hit on my teenage daughter hit on me in the closet of death. Sure.

Just like four license plates one next to the other just to make it all fit. I wonder if you could do because they sometimes publish rejected ones. Yeah. Could you do one that was 69 24-7?

Yeah, probably. I mean, they probably have some sort of controls. I guess you probably can't have anything with 69 in it. They probably just have a bot. Yeah, 69, 420. The 69 bot. Yeah, I think if your license plate directly refers to your car,

then that's a lot of fun. I remember if one's like, thanks daddy, or daddy's second car. There's a lot. If it's something daddy related, I think it's fun. There's a lot of electric cars that have like personalized vanity plates that draw attention to the fact that, hey,

look how electric my car is. Yeah. Yeah. I saw one that was oil. LOL. Oh, look how electric my car is. Yeah, yeah. I saw one that was oil LOL. Oh. That's pretty good. Yeah. That's fun.

Is it? No, I don't know. It's not as fun as that bumper sticker. Nothing can be. No, yeah. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode. Cassie, what would you like to plug? Ooh, I'm still in Vancouver.

Wait, no. Am I still in Vancouver when this comes out? On June 10th. On June 10th. No, I'm back in Toronto, but I'm in the Toronto Fringe Festival this year. Oh, cool. I'm in a very cool play. I got cast in a play called Clothes Swap.

And I'm very flattered to be asked to do it. It's a really great cast and really great production. And it's done in the Textile Museum do it. It's a really great cast and really great production. And it's done in the Textile Museum in Toronto. Oh, a site specific. Yeah. And it's about a group of women that do a clothes swap, but the audience members are encouraged to bring their old clothes to the show. And then we use them in the show.

We improvise with the clothes. And then after the show, it gets donated. Nice. Yeah. It seems like a really fun project so i'm really excited to do it everyone wins and uh so that's the toronto fringe the the beginning of july yes and where can people find you online if they want to they want to track your movement uh i uh am on all of the social media at the Cassie Cow.

Okay. You've picked one name. You've just gone with it across the board. You had a different name before. I went to your website. It all links back to your old name. Oh, yeah? Oh, yikes.

Okay. Well, I got to update that. I got to hire someone to teach me how to use the internet. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. We will be at JFL on July 26th in some hotel ballroom

at 2.30 in the afternoon. I mean, when you talk about time slots, they don't get much better than that. So come see us there. It'll be fun. Set an alarm. Wake wake up on time tell your boss you're taking a long lunch um and my other show this sounds serious the uh comedic true crime podcast is um i believe this week episode three will be out i think last week episodes one and two came out at the same time.

If I'm working from the right calendar. And thank you all the listeners out there. Oh, and you know what? We'll take you out with more of that overheard

that was the worst phone technique ever. Thank you everybody for listening. If you like the show, please do tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. I'm telling the truth.

I voted in today's presidential primary. And on my way out, a little boy, maybe seven years old, was trotting behind his dad on the way in. And he said extremely loudly, I don't know where I am. And he said it truly loudly.