Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 587 - Jayden Pfeifer

Episode Date: June 17, 2019

Jayden Pfeifer returns to talk higher education, more boring dreams, and Beetlejuice the musical.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 587 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's got a real tight new haircut. Mr. Dave Schumacher. Yeah, tight.

Tight. High and tight. I don't know the words, but I go to a woman who just does women's hair usually. So she puts your hair in a curler you go underneath that thing yeah yeah so i don't know like i don't there's no like wall of like do you want the junior executive do you want commando yeah do you want the jack johnson yeah those are the three so i get uh like i don't abby got her hair it gets her hair cut very short now and you just say give me the abby she gets it she cut shorter than me because she was she's like her guy who cuts her hair was like oh i'm gonna put the clippers down to zero and give you a fade

really and she's like i don't think so but like my hairstylist doesn't like i wouldn't know what number of clipper hmm like it's best you don't know i know people who get their haircut and they're like two on the sides or two in the back four on the sides eight on top business in front party in the back um yeah i don't know i don't know clipper sizes either I don't know how long has it been Years Wouldn't even know What's new in haircutting Do they still use bibs

Yeah they still use bibs Like baby bibs People have been drooling a lot While getting their hair cut Follow up Everyone listening Come see us july 26th in montreal at the just for laughs festival in a weird hotel ballroom take the

afternoon off spend it with us you know what don't even take the whole afternoon off just take an hour you get to see these haircuts and non-haircuts yeah in person uh our guest today on the podcast a returning guest to the podcast it's been a long while i every month in regina saskatchewan he hosts a show called talkies which is a movie commentary live show and we're just so thrilled to have him back jayden pfeiffer's our guest good day to you both and that's at the regina public library theater that's right that sounds so quaint yeah it's very sweet you get one free book rental per viewing oh cool i think our book rental is usually expensive there yeah it's the only way they can keep the library floating they have to charge for them now but all the new releases are guaranteed yeah yeah uh that so the the library has its own

movie theater yeah like a state-of-the-art theater they they renovated it a few years ago it's incredible it's beautiful really cool seats like about 110 now i know intimate space you're not like mr library so i i can't i can't expect you to know the answer to this question but are you mr library uh no but I'll try my best. I was told you were Mr. Library before coming. I abdicated my title because of drug use. When you said book rental, it made me remember movie rentals. Sure.

And so a movie would come out in the theater. Yes. And months later, it would come out vhs and blockbuster would have 50 of it on a wall yeah and uh i never knew the release of books like in the library like does it is it when it comes out when it's published does it go right to the library does anyone know yes uh but not 50 copies no they and they don't have them all yeah well they don't have the the like uh the promotional like yeah they just leave the book jacket up on the shelf yeah and then behind it there's like a little plastic box the pages are big enough for a book unless i mean maybe they do get like if it's like

the new grisham the astronaut's wife i don't know what's hot in literature these days what's the most recent blockbuster book you yeah exactly name uh the one the sequel to the girl on the train yeah yeah the astronaut's wife that's where she was going space she was training to go to space yes uh should we get to know us yeah jayden it's been a while yeah yeah and uh in that time you've uh you've grown yeah i think when you think so when you were first here you had a little tiny baby and that was maybe 10 years ago yeah he was probably like two now he's 10 and now uh you have another tiny i have another child yeah who's now a year and a half just babies just yeah

babies having babies every 10 years i know yeah just so yeah i expect every 10 years newbie you expect me to have another yeah yeah yeah yeah okay well i have some time to think about it yeah and prepare myself to be like uh who who am i thinking of bob marley bob marley or tony randall i feel like he had kids when he was like into his 70s and yeah why not when you're that virile why wouldn't you yeah that's true if if you go to the doctor and the doctor's like your virile why wouldn't you yeah that's true if if you go to the doctor and the doctor's like your virile rates are high you got to get some of that hey thumbs up tony your virile right i'm gonna show you a sexy picture let's just see what you what happens i'm gonna hang a little bell here above your crotch and if it spins

and when i hear a ding, I know you're Mr. Viral. Yeah. Um, so, uh, that's a fun, that's a fun development.

Having a child. Having, having a second child. Yeah. And, uh, you were saying just before the podcast, it's nice to have one that's a bit older.

Yeah. And, and more independent. Yeah. I think I thought, I, I thought it would be tough like you know because i have a sibling we were like two years apart it was like nice to grow up with another kid right but then it's also pretty great to have a kid who's nine years older and

doesn't care that there's a baby around and isn't jealous of them and yeah when you're like hey i need to spend time with the baby they're like good i got places to be goodbye yeah that can be great yeah this dora is not going to explore herself what oh i was like hey come back come back uh there's more parenting i have to do clearly setting off the bell um uh oh boy they won't be able to share a wardrobe uh no no that's the one downfall yeah no to find twinsies clothes that's true also the yeah the hand me down by the time any toys or whatever they get handed down they'll be like what is i'm trying to think of what's a 10 10 year span apart what was it the toy eight years ago yeah like what was a spongebob like the kids little kids don't know what spongebob

is little kids are into memes what spongebob is little kids are into memes yeah that's true oh yeah she's big and she has her own set of memes and the 10 year old doesn't get them uh yeah i wonder how old a kid has to be to have their first experience with a meme i mean i'm younger than my son but let me tell you 10 year olds are into memes yeah of course what's the hot meme now just uh and the boys uh uh chungus there's like a chungus chungus i love is that like his like a big fat rabbit i just know that uh trump's been called president chungus a lot i'm sure i don't know chungus and it's a fun word yeah it's great it's also become his nickname and he doesn't like oh no he doesn't he doesn't want to be

called chungus he likes to draw chungus draw chungus yeah and like so nobody wants to be chungus yeah well everybody wanga chungus but like uh at 10 they're fully computer literate and for sure like yeah youtube and is he allowed on youtube uh he's allowed on youtube jordan peterson lectures only yeah only it keeps coming up in my recommendations uh uh yeah he's allowed on youtube he's tons of like streamers he really likes really mostly like video game walkthroughs yeah he's allowed on youtube he's tons of like streamers he really likes really mostly like video game walkthroughs yeah he likes watching those yep but then he'll also be like i gotta show you this thing and like not to sound so old but like when he shows it i'm like i don't

even understand the context for why this video is being created i don't understand the universe that this is happening like there's several steps totally i'm just i don't understand the universe that this is happening like there's several steps totally i'm just i don't understand the game or the two steps away from the game contextually that they're making the video about right and then there's you know anyway that i remember watching a video that was a response to a response to a fight that two youtubers had had sure so it was i was like i don't i didn't know the two youtubers didn't know the first responder first responder it was an emt and he was there to save him was it the makeup tutorial no it was a youtube couple that had split up good

I'm glad they did oh boy and like somebody had referenced it on twitter and I went to this youtube thing he got youtube in the divorce and she's gotta post herself on daily motion um yeah but uh

it's like are you worried at all that the about the things that go bump in the night that and ding too if i hear a ding in the night yeah yeah yeah oh boy tony randall's in that's how you know he's uh i guess i mean i probably should be more worried than i have yeah expressed well what was the moment did you could do the moment challenge no but everything's a challenge like it's he'll he'll uh he'll say like well my friends and i did the try not to laugh challenge today about like who could get their shoes on like they everything's like we did the and i'm like do you just mean you all put your shoes on? Yeah.

But none of us laugh. Everything's been framed as a challenge. I definitely remember like when I, there was like a time in early adolescence when I kind of put myself in my dad's shoes and I was, I was like, Oh, he doesn't care about any of this stuff. Why am I showing him this?

And I started to feel guilty, like, oh, what a waste of my dad's time. My whole first 10 years has been, and now as a parent, I'm like, oh, no, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they're interested. You're interested, right?

I am interested, and I've also had the experience that you're describing where I'm just like completely glazing over as he's talking and then going, I did this exact same thing. Yeah, yeah. I was like, then dad's the thing about that. I was like reading him a comic book, like word for word, because I think the story is so interesting.

Yeah. And I'm like, oh, yeah, he never responded. It's because he wasn't listening. I did that to my dad too. I remember reading it like an Archie comic book to my dad. And my dad was probably like, I didn't like Archie when I was a kid. And my dad didn't like Archie when he was a kid.

But yeah, I think that's, that all fits the same program. Yeah. Yeah. Just carrying it on generation to generation is there one mostly not caring about your kids stuff did you read archie i did is there one story that stands out to you in the legends of archie yes i have one that i always

it comes to me because it i had problems with it at the time and it was uh reggie no jughead had no money they wanted to eat at pops and so he went and sucked a bunch of dicks why did you have a problem with that why did he got a bunch of money for it yeah this sounds like it's canon. Those are from the Archies that you had to ask for. Chuck Head went down to the train tracks. No, Chuck Head was like, I don't need money. There's a bunch of things you can get for free.

And people were like drinking grape soda. And he was like, I don't need to drink grape soda. I can make my own. Pop Tate will give me a free glass of water and a free little thing of jam. And I'll mix that together to make my own drink. And even back then, I was like, that wouldn't work. That was the famed Jughead becomes a freegan episode. Yeah, exactly. It was very fregan well i'll go around and say our rt we remember there was an

rt where jughead it was jughead again and he was revealing or the big tease was he was going to reveal what he wears like a sweater that has an s on it or a letter yeah an s on it and that he was going to reveal what the S stood for. But then at the end, it was a misdirect. He never revealed what the S stood for. Pissed me off as a kid. I was like invested,

you know, however many pages it was four pages worth of reading. I would definitely look at it like, Oh, this, this story is going to be eight pages. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It must be deep. I have a memory of a jughead where he was on a date at pops and the date he was with was trying to lose weight and so he was like they served all the burgers to jughead and he was like how dare you my date is trying to

lose weight I won't eat these burgers either i'll throw them in the garbage and he went behind the counter and threw them away and then she left and then pop tate goes jughead you didn't dump these in the garbage you just put them in the bun warmer and he was like weird and then he took them and ate them all that's actually a very good one that falls under the classic jughead because we all have been there where we order a bunch of hamburgers and then before we ask our date if they yeah are starving and then we allow ourselves behind the counter to where the bun warmer is and have intimate knowledge of where it's located yeah yeah yeah um so uh so new kid new kid. New kid.

Thank you so much. Favorite Archie. Congratulations. Dog head. And what else have you been up to in the time since we haven't seen you? Yeah. What's that? Five years?

Five years. Oh, I don't know. Did a bunch of things. Kept working on shows or not. Yeah yeah did a master's degree oh did you really did finish that in wow we have to talk about it no no we absolutely do not but do you want me to guess sure master's degree in performance arts uh you might as well be no No, I'm going to go a different direction. Okay. Library sciences. Very close. Library movie theaters. Uh,

yeah, I did. I did a mad, uh, masters of fine arts. Okay. In a, in like mostly surrounding improvisation.

Right. And, uh, yeah, that's great. I don't actually like, I know harshly what getting a master's is, but I know it comes after bachelor's

true uh but i don't before phd and you have to write at some point in your master's you have to write a thesis and defend it in most cases you would but he got to improvise yeah i get to make mine up and i was like can i get a suggestion for a thing you, an excuse you would make to not do this? Uh, uh, yeah, there's a paper.

And then, uh, and then you should defense. It's like a conversation with a group of people. And in my case, it was a master of fine arts. So it was more of a project than a long extensive paper. It was like a shorter paper and the live presentation project thing.

Right. Which was like a big sort of improv jam workshop thing that, uh, I don't really care about anymore. And I'm glad to not be doing anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Much love to everybody who was involved. Yeah. I'm so happy. It's over. Uh, it, what, why did you decide to get your master's?

What was the drive behind it? I just seemed like I wanted to work on a project and it seemed like doing it through a university was the best way to do that project. Right. And it was a thing I could do and so I thought I would do it. Yeah. I have used it for nothing. Yeah, but I feel like that charts the course

of the letters next to your name. If you haven't, but could, I'd be within my right to put it in an email signature. Dave Schoenke, Master of Fine Arts. Master Sensei of Fine Arts.

Martial Arts. Tendon Black Belt. Yeah, I master sensei of fine arts martial arts 10 10 black belt and uh yeah i i know people that have gotten their masters or contemplated getting their masters but i don't like i don't understand what it like that what it does well it sits in an envelope in a drawer yeah um you know presumably it gets you more access to like doing research or if you want to go to conferences and talk about your work more right or become a professor yeah that's you know how you would move up in that world professor would be good oh tell me about it yeah you're always working on those coconuts trying to get off the island yeah i mean that's what i did my thesis on the problem is there's just so few of those positions yeah right yeah and it's publisher parish i guess uh yeah was he he was a professor like that he was

the professor i know but was on what? Yeah. Field? Yeah. What field or where did he teach? He kind of never taught about like, well, this class I taught. Like he never referenced. No, he would always just be smart. Smart.

Working on a building. He was like an inventor more than anything. Yeah. Do you think like maybe they could just nickname him the professor? Like, cause he's the smart one. Yeah. Check out the professor over here. Check out Poindexter over here.

Yeah, yeah. He's like, my name is Poindexter. They were all nicknames. It was like, hey, okay, Skipper. Yeah. Thanks, Ginger. Okay, millionaire's wife. We've been on this island a long time.

We should get to know each other's names. Her name was Lovey? Yeah. Or was that a nickname? Her her name was lovey her yeah or was that a nickname her pet name was lovey and he was thurston howell thurston howell nice was she lovey howell but like the professor wasn't professor something no it was the professor oh i'm well do you know what gilligan's name is stephen gilligan willie gilligan willie gilligan that's great that sounds like uh like just like some weird 70s uh rock outfit yeah willie gilligan yeah um toured with fog hat willie gilligan um so you did a master's that's great it was pretty great there's a lot of sighing around yeah yeah i'm just like so happy to not do it anymore yeah but it was a thing i occupied my time with

between the last time i saw you and this time okay and then the next thing is uh child uh-huh yeah working you know just just gutting it out man yeah you're you're uh you're like a pillar of the uh the art scene in uh in regina saskatchewan is that do you find that to be true is that is that not true um i mean i certainly work there yeah i've been there for my adult life yeah i mean maybe it's a place that has a lot of pillars yeah a lot of pillars especially in the prairies big into pillars big support a lot of heavy obvious yes that's true Yeah I mean Regina is a very specific place To make an arts career So if you do enough things

For enough time Then you're one of the folks that are still around Kicking it And like does the fact that it's a Like a capital city help with being an arts Person there or A lot of bureaucrats A lot of bureaucrats showing up

yeah put me in your show uh no not exactly no um but uh yeah i've always wondered if that was the case where the capital city where there's government is there more government money for arts things or no just like more like annual conventions where they're looking for funny people to make fun of that is good jeff's golf game do you do you do that not anymore i did for many years hundreds of them yeah and i do hundreds of years hundreds of years i did it i got my master's in doing corporate being alive yeah corporate comedy is its own universe, right? And it's not fun. I've done it.

Yeah. Sometimes it can be surprisingly fun, like where it's like, I couldn't believe how much fun that was, but it's because I'm expecting it to be the worst. Right. But yeah, it was for a lot of years we did that. And now I haven't done it in probably two or three years.

Did you do the thing where you go find out stuff like oh you know beth and accounting is uh a lush so we should incorporate that into the show uh no mostly we would do that as part of the show right get people up and talk to them and right and then what's the worst it ever went the worst it ever went uh me um uh probably the worst it ever went was when we performed for the like provincial broomball tournament okay define broomball hockey with brooms and like a volleyball but on ice on ice it's like running around in sticky shoes on shoot in shoes not on skate yeah and then and you have like a stick that has like a paddle on the end and you're knocking around a ball okay it sounds like something that was invented because two kids were horsing around at a curling rink yeah stop playing uh broom ball um how did okay how what could possibly go wrong i think it was

like within the first 20 seconds, somebody started yelling, uh, uh, epithets at us from the audience. Oh, sure. And the crowd was on their side. They were like,

he's right. Yeah. We like this guy. Yeah. You should get up there. Wow. Read a jug head. The,

um, I, uh, I did one once that was for, uh,shoremen and just before i went up they uh gave uh they gave like a big emotional speech about a guy who had been in an industrial accident and he was uh he was this was his first appearance back with the with the guys since the industrial accident and uh he was in like a wheelchair temporarily and but they gave him a jacket it was really weird it was like why why is this you earned your injury yeah yeah yeah they gave him this jacket and people literally

while they were announcing me were crying because because this guy was like a young guy and everybody's like like just so emotional about it he was into industrial music yes they should have gotten skinny puppy to play but they got you yeah yeah yeah i was cheaper than skinny puppy which is yeah that's how i've told my agent to market me. I'm the cheap alternative to Skinny Puppy. But yeah, it was very bad. Sure. Yeah. And it started bad and then it got worse. Like it didn't level out.

They cried further. They continued to cry. They were like, we wish you were in an industrial accident. They wept epithets at you. In the jacket. Give him your jacket. You should have an industrial accident. Yeah.

In the comedy industry. It sort of is an industrial accident. Yeah. So, you're not, no more, no more corporate comedy. No, it just hasn't, it's just not a thing I really have done anymore. Well, we miss you. Yeah. So, what do you do these days then?

No more masters, no more corporate comics. No more teachers, dirty looks. Exactly. I teach at the university. Okay. In the theater department. Nice. And then, I don't know, I work with a few colleagues on trying to build new works of theater.

Have little projects in development. Yeah. That's what brought me to Vancouver this week. And what is the project that you've, that you've worked on that's here at this, uh, festival? It's a,

it's a, not a show. It doesn't exist yet. It's like a new, it's like a, it's like an idea for a show. Okay. And this festival we're at is like a festival of works in development of new

things, new things people are trying out. So we came out and we showed like a 25 minute set of short excerpts of a sort of like a really high physical theater piece. We're trying to build together myself and my wife, who's my, my co-creator and a colleague of ours from Toronto. How is that having the co co-creator also? Also partner, also a mother of child. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's really fucking hard. You guys, it's like the best like that's the thing we like about each other that's how we got together is like we loved working together right and then we liked being married too and then it's hard to like be in the studio being like great idea and i think we should just change that a little bit and also like did you look at your phone because did you get a message from your mom about when the baby is coming like you didn't do that so like could you get on that but also like go back two steps yeah that's there's a lot of that the

messages are mixed yeah a lot of the time do you have two different phones that's how i would do it two different phones one for a relationship that's a great idea do you feel like pizza tonight or like you're at because you're acting like you feel like pizza tonight your performance has this yearning for pizza yeah it's a lot of that yeah and it's a lot of being like hey did you pick that thing up no i was in the studio with you when that would have happened but like how didn't you do that because we're both here now we're both standing in this there was no there was no other version of me somewhere else yeah we do that stuff a lot to each other yeah um but it's also great we like it a lot we just make it work yeah yeah um because you know you i've i've you know heard of these, but I've never heard how they work.

Especially even when I go to a corner store and it's a couple that owns it. I'm like, is that it? You're just in the middle of the night like, we didn't order enough chips or whatever. That's the one thing we need at a corner store. Yeah. We do a lot of trying to to like divide work from life right which is not super successful all the time but is sort of like will you know like i'll be sitting and like watching a movie yeah at night and she'll be like hey i was gonna work on some stuff for tomorrow and i'll be like

cool i'm not at work right now yeah like but i'm gonna work i'm like that's great yeah and then we just sort of sit in the same room one of us choosing to work and the other yeah demonstrating i'm working on some physical theater so i might be in the way of your show we do that a lot yeah and she's she's a very hard she works harder than anyone i've ever met like she'll she'll just work until she falls asleep and i just won't when we're done i'm like i'm off the clock now i'm sitting around for the rest of the day i'll sit around till i fall asleep yeah i i admire the the work ethic of somebody who works until they fall asleep or are they just somebody who's like 20 minutes of work really gets them in the mood to sleep you know like because at the

library you're like oh boy if you see somebody asleep you're like, oh boy, if you see somebody asleep, you're like, oh, they just exhausted themselves. Or did they just come here to sleep? Yeah, more likely. I only ever went to the library in college to like, oh, people seem to be going here to study. Well, in this, the most boring building on campus. I am so easily distracted. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's a lot of stuff around.

Yeah. To look at your work. Sure. Do you work from home? I do. Okay. For the most part, work from home. Do you like working from home?

Yeah, actually I do. I just like not having to go to the same place every day yeah and not having to be there at the same time but that is working at home it's you are at the same place every day oh god these last five years have been a waste i've knocked it all up you guys yeah i uh it's just it's like do you have a dedicated office space yeah yeah we sort of set up and like i i try really hard to like i only write emails from this place in this location ah to zone it away which is a recent development it used to always be like laptop on lap in whatever space in the house I was in the office. Yeah. Trumbo.

I was the try was they used to call me the Trumbo of Regina. Yeah. Yeah. I was known for that. Regina ruining your laptop. Ruining my laptop many times in the bath. I'm known as Vancouver's Chungus. The Chungus among us.

I just love everything about it it it's got so much potential what's it from i don't know what i never looked into it but the chungus's origin story as far as i'm concerned chungus originated today yeah this is chungus year one january 1st yeah because uh uh i just yeah i haven't been able to get the phrase president chungus out of my head so um so that's that's all very i think that's all very exciting stuff i mean yeah i'd say i'd live a i live an exciting life yeah an exciting uh multitude of uh streams of experience. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Well, see you in five years. Thank you very much. It was a pleasure. If you could have as much prepared next time, that'd be great. Yeah. Perfect.

I'll think of four things I did. And if you read any Archie's between now and then. Yeah. I'll go back into it. I think I might do another deep dive. Do, does your your son like archie at all no he does not archie he's uh he's into comics though like if i take if i find him i gave him all of my old comics oh wow he's read all of them that's amazing and uh and then

also the library to come back to that yeah uh you can get like big you know like compendiums of entire series of comics all yeah yeah he'll devour those he loves them what did you what kind of comics did you read really into the x-men as a kid like wolverine a lot yeah yeah yeah so he's read all those he was a he was a tough nut to crack that wolverine sure he was yeah those jowls yeah he was he was angry he was short he's canadian he's canadian everything that i identified with yeah and continue to yeah um there's a what's the movie that's out this weekend the dark the dark phoenix is that related to x-men yeah yeah yeah cool and uh it's a movie that they've already kind of done they they already did this plot line before and,

uh, they're doing it again with different people. Yep. Okay. With, uh, Femke Jensen. Ah,

um, you know, what was that? X-Men three. Yes. Yeah. Where she, she turned into the Phoenix in that movie.

So I remember seeing it. I don't remember which one it was. Yeah. It's, uh, there's so many of them now yeah like uh i used to be able to i used to go see them yeah i saw the x-men movies yeah yeah yeah so did i and then i think they went back in time they did go back in time and then it feels like they've there's been like seven of them since then there's i feel like the x-men movies there's so many of them yeah i can't really track where they're at in the world i kind of they've they sit in the background for me it's weird because like every uh every movie like screenwriting book tells you like make the stakes this like this movie has to

have an ending yeah you have to like you don't set like the harry potter movies make no sense because they're like you they start you off on like year one of school right whereas like every other movie would be like this has to be graduating year they have to solve this thing and then they're out yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they and then so like all these comic book movies that are like, okay, this is going to be eight movies. Some stuff's going to end at the end of this movie. People are going to like it,

but it's really not going to be satisfying because they're going to have to come back. Yeah, we're going to have to bring them back. We're going to have to go back in time. We're going to have to... The funny thing about one of the X movies, I was watching it, and I didn't realize it was set in the past until like the Eurythmics were on the soundtrack.

And I was like, oh yeah, this is supposed to be in the 80s. Oh, sure, sure. But nothing else indicated that, I guess, except the lack of cell phones. There was also one of, maybe it was another back in time one where Wolverine, like Hugh Jackman was back in time and he was like in like denim bell bottoms and like wide collared like he was like well we better fit in here and like put on a huge like long collared denim jacket that that seemed like a bit of you know like sure but if you could just put a t-shirt on it just just seemed like a bit much. Yeah, he invents the Canadian tuxedo. Yeah.

He invents the Eurythmics. That's him and Annie Lennox. Yeah. Annie, it's your cousin Marvin Lennox. Every time travel movie owes it to its audience to have the characters invent a thing that's popular in the future. That should be the number one rule. Speaking of screenwriting.

Well, in The Passion of the Christ. Oh, yeah. Classic time travel movie. Where they go back in time. I guess it's not. But it's an old time movie. They took us back in time. That's true.

Yeah. To the beginning of time they invent uh jesus 33 years after the beginning of time yeah go on dave in about 2 000 years pre-chungus before chungus that's why yeah bc bc before chungus before the chungus area uh era and uh jesus do you remember yeah he invented the table table yeah but like people he invented a tall table because he also invented chairs right because everyone everyone was like but jesus we're just gonna eat on a short table and kneel or whatever. And he's like, on our table, we all sit on one side. Yes. It'll help. That's the table that I invented.

I never considered that. Yeah. Why, they're all sitting on one side? Well, I mean, I guess it makes sense, like, as a painting. Yeah, it would make a shitty painting. It was like, okay, there was these people here. You can't quite see who these people were or what they're doing, but they're there also. Well, there must be minor characters.

Yeah. There was the guy who just, you know, just ordered a small thing of scallops and didn't want to split it evenly. They were like, well, I'll split it evenly. He's like, I just got a small thing of scallops. There was the guy that like Jesus offered him his wine blood and he was like, oh, none for me. I can't right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that guy wasn't saved.

I'm doing a dry January. But it's Easter right now. We should figure out how time works. Let's call this, from this point, let's call it, I don't know, BC. Yeah. Anyway, went back in time and invented the table um hey jesus it's your cousin marvin christ you know that place you want to sit um i could do this all day oh absolutely dave what's going on with you oh boy me yeah I'm unprepared um let's see well you know how uh uh I famously have

very boring dreams yes for instance for instance there's the dream the very this was a harrowing dream yeah that my uh travel agent was retiring and of course there was a dream that really stuck with me a couple months ago uh trying to fix a garage door yeah that's right uh i don't have a lot of dreams and i the ones i do i don't really remember but i had to sleep on the couch this week oh classic yeah the marriage slash co-worker was mad at me she was unhappy with the spreadsheets you did so on the couch yeah uh no my dog was having digestive issues and i wanted to make sure he could get to the door in the middle of the night uh and so i had two dreams that night that were

both very boring one wasn't even like you know how a dream you're like trying to solve a problem yeah one was just like basically the equivalent of one of those calming apps that helps you fall asleep yeah i was sewing a patch onto some jeans that was it that was the whole dream wow it was you know taking a long time sure but i was doing it fine yeah and they were gonna be good yeah there was no indication in earlier in the dream of why like was it like that you had ripped it at some kind of i mean jumping off a skyscraper or the jeans didn't suddenly turn into your grandfather no i've got i own a lot of old jeans that need repeated patching. I wonder what that dream means.

Yeah, it's hard to say. I mean, I just ordered some new thread. So I was probably excited about it. And then later that night. So the dog woke up at three in the morning And I remembered this dream And then He fell back asleep and I fell back asleep I wonder if he was dreaming

What was he dreaming about He does these little like scuttles in his sleep So cute The other dream I had Was that I Was trying to load a dishwasher Unsuccessfully I couldn't The place where you put the little basket was that I was trying to load a dishwasher. Unsuccessfully?

I couldn't. The place where you put the little basket for all the knives and forks was missing. Oh, no. I had to look around for it. This dream's got a lot of intrigue, actually. I never found it. That's more of a nightmare. That's a nightmare.

I guess it's technically a nightmare. Yeah. I've claimed to have never had a nightmare. I guess it's technically a nightmare. Yeah. I've claimed to have never had a nightmare. And I guess I'm wrong. Because I'm unsettled and I didn't have the dream, you know. I'm trying to picture in my head what I would do if I lost the basket. I guess it would just line up. Yeah.

Yeah. Sort of lay them in like a band along the edge. Or hand wash them. No. I don't know. Now we're talking a nightmare. I don't have a dishwasher in real life. Only in my dream world. But it's incomplete.

So yeah, that's what's going on with me dream wise. Yeah. But my real life is much more exciting. Yeah. You actually did sew the patch on me. And here's why I think my dreams are so boring because my life is very boring because i'm about to tell you a story okay here we go unbuckle your seat are you standing up

this story is gonna keep your socks on. The other day, I worked from home in the morning, and then I was going to the office in the afternoon, and I was like, okay, well, you know what? I'll stop at Wendy's. I haven't had Wendy's in a few weeks, and I know it's not good for me because i'm a grown-up and but i'll treat myself to some wendy's and so i went through the drive-thru ordered my thing they gave it to me and uh i went to take the cup and put it in my cup holder and my cup holder was full of the wendy's drink i got two days earlier ah this is your car trying to tell you something so i forgot that two days earlier i had made the same deal with myself it's been a long time since i've had wendy's treat but i will point out i don't drink the drink no you just get it

because it's why wouldn't you get it Yeah it's free with the meal That I want It's not free it's part of it Wendy's And I'll take a couple sips of it Because they do a cherry coke I think you're one of the only people I know who's like a Wendy's fan

I'm a Wendy's stan Yeah you stan Wendy's Everybody's a stan now Yeah my son also memes big into stans Yeah Stan. Yeah. Yeah. You Stan Wendy. Everybody's a Stan now. Um, yeah, my son also memes big into stands. Yeah. The, uh,

but, uh, I, I, yeah, I think I went to Wendy's like a couple of times in my whole life. Oh, uh,

so I'm not, I'm not as familiar with, uh, what they have a baked potato that comes in a gold wrapper, square hamburgers. It's like, what they have a baked potato that comes in a gold wrapper. Square hamburgers. It's like ordering a hamburger on the moon. Everything's upside down and backwards.

Yeah, I get that. I like the square hamburger. I have them cut it into a circle for me. Throw the rest away. Throw the rest in the bun warmer um I will mix it up I will have their uh

Asiago Ranch set chicken sandwich yeah uh or I will have the Dave's classic double um do you think

uh people trick themselves into thinking that the chicken sandwich is better for them like oh this is I'm really committing to my health so I'm gonna that the chicken sandwich is better for them. Like, oh, this is, I'm really committing to my health, so I'm going to have the chicken sandwich.

I mean, calories in, calories out. I literally to myself, I'm like, this is better for the planet if I have the chicken. Beef production is really, it's just, you you know it's gonna it's gonna cause of something yeah it's gonna cause the something um but uh no i i it's all bad yeah i'm a bad person and you drink to it you don't drink enough soda but you order it i'm forgetful. I'll have the forgetful meal. Yeah. But yeah, I think that's, I don't think I have a good diet. No, I don't think I have a good diet either. It's pretty good.

Yeah. Yeah. What's your go-to junk food? Oh yeah. I'm like, I dig into burgers. Like that's kind of my favorite. If I was going to pop by something, although I also think I haven't been to a Wendy's in years. Yeah. I don't.

It's the best. Yeah. I recently, I recently, my son really loves A&W. Yeah. And so, and I had never tried the beyond meat burger. And so, uh, I feel like everyone is trying it and reporting on how they felt about it. And I'll get your turn. I thought it was great.

Yeah. That was fantastic. Yeah. Loved it.'ll get your turn. I thought it was great. Yeah. That was fantastic. Yeah. Loved it. There's no reason not to get it. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, and W's man, they're, they, they just like, they used to be there.

There was like one A&W around one Wendy's around. Yeah. A thousand McDonald's and like maybe a KFC. I think maybe the reason there's more a and w's now is because people figured out what the a and w stands for what does it stand for graham it stands for hamburgers and whoop beer home run every time oh boy it's so many bells dinged for people listening to the show uh the one speaking of my terrible diet uh months ago now i asked people to mail me uh the uh the trader joe's gummy penguins gummy tummies are they called yeah the gummy tummy penguins and uh i then a couple weeks ago, I went to America.

No, maybe six weeks ago, I went to America and bought a bunch of my own. And then I got a package with some gummy tummies. Well, we got more gummy tummies. Yeah, yeah. So I want to just thank the following listeners for mailing at great expense. Two packages of gummy tummies. Karen A. And let's see, who's this one? This one is from... at great expense. Two packages of gummy tummies. Karen A.

Let's see. Who's this one? This one is from Steve M. Thanks, guys. Yeah. By the way, no one should send me any more gummy tummies. But do send me some of that Tr joe's tea tree shampoo there are people in the states furiously writing that down like yeah no i know that's a joke don't

do that yeah um thank you that was i i really appreciate it i'm sorry that our schedule and the mailing schedule have lined up in such a way that your gifts arrived after I bought myself five packs of gummy tummies. Here's a weird thing in the arena of sending a thing. I sent an acquaintance of mine had a child. And so I wrote an email and said, like, like oh can you give me your address i want to send something for the baby i didn't get this email you're describing yeah yeah yeah yeah no so jayna an acquaintance that is best friend yeah exactly not not not an old uh died in the world chum um but i i said yeah i heard you had had a kid. And give me your address.

I want to send you something. So then I sent something and heard nothing. Oh. And then sent a follow-up email and heard nothing from that. So what is that? How long ago did you send it? And how far did it go? It went from here to the States.

So not very far. And I double-check checked the address and everything and then yeah they sent an email to be like oh did it not show up and never heard back so what's that how old is the child like now they're four yeah um you know it like would have been born in january so new new so is it just like something that would have slipped the mind of it's possible pretty possible yeah they might have been they might just be overwhelmed okay there was a that i'm willing to uh yeah i remember being about six months deep into uh having this new child and going like we should say that those thank you we should uh thank people for all that

stuff they dropped off and gave us right okay, okay. There's a lot of that. All right. I mean, although maybe, what was the gift? It was just a stuffy. Okay. Was it like murderous or something? Yeah, it was murderous.

It was a murderous stuffy. It was a stuffy of a lobster. Right. It was a cute lobster stuffy. Babies love lobsters. Yeah, absolutely. Well, they got to be introduced to crustaceans early

so they can enjoy that Sebastian the Crab. Right. right well it was this this wasn't someone who lived in the state of maine was it no okay because they probably have enough because it's too much yeah much it's hard for them to even tell who sent them yeah because they're drowning in them and they look so much like the real life lobsters that are just walking down the street yeah so so it's not i shouldn't it should just be like easy breezy yeah all right all right yeah but keep it in your back pocket if you run into them in like a year and they're like how are you doing then you can like you don't even remember and then you can really lobster much yeah exactly if anyone wants to send

us stuff and send us uh like if it if it has a tracking information that is the greatest gift for me i love tracking packages yeah i love knowing it's been through it's been processed in some uh some post office yeah in a facility i loved it it's been it's out it's transferred somewhere it's departed a different facility it's with the courier or delivery driver oh it's there's nothing that gives me a greater thrill do you change plans on that day to try and like be around for it no okay one of us does um yeah well that's fair man because going to pick it up is not can't stand it yeah if i know it's out for delivery i like, how would I rearrange this morning so I can be around for the next couple hours?

Yeah. That's the day the delivery driver's coming in at five at night. Usually. Mm-hmm. Still do it. So, yeah, that's me. Exciting life. Exciting wife.

How about you? A lobster. Speaking of going to America, I went to America this week. I went to New York, New York. What? The casino in Las Vegas? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And boy, did I win big.

Man, I lost it all. But you know what? I learned something along the way. I went to New York and- This was a fun vacation? This was a fun trip. I went and saw Beetlejuice the Musical. Nice. It was great. Is it great, this was a fun vacation. This was a fun trip. I went and saw Beetlejuice, the musical.

Nice. It was great. Is it great? It was great. Wow. Yeah. This guy does performing arts. Yeah.

Yeah. I would love it. Oh, just let's get a quick rundown of the reviews. It's a, the great, the great thing about it was, uh,

they, it was very much the spirit of the movie, but it didn't, it wasn't like note for note so that you were like, oh yeah, now this happens. But it had everything. It had the giant sandworm. It had people flying all over the place. It was great. I'm not sure I ever saw the whole movie.

Really? I definitely watched the cartoon a lot. Yeah, and it also borrows from the cartoon universe as well. Great. I never got it. You never got it? Yeah yeah that's maybe why i never watched the movie but i i had seen it i just didn't get it i remember being a kid being like i don't understand what they're doing like what's happening yeah yeah but i still thought it was interesting like i thought it was cool and funny but it was totally baffled by it i was so i just immediately i just was like

this beetlejuice guy i love him everything he does even though he was the bad guy i was like i love him this is my type of guy he's uh he's funny he's got freaking havoc all over the place tim burton just like does he have falling outs with people he's like i'm only gonna work with uh michael keaton for a little while. Or like Johnny Depp. And Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. Yeah, Danny DeVito. These are, these are reoccurring, but you know, Michael Keaton back in the new

Dumbo movie. Is that Tim Burton? Yep. Yep. Ah. He's one of the only guys that gets the from the imagination of in the trailer. I mean, the other person who used to get that or kind of still does is M. Night Shyamalan. Yes. And we all know how we feel about that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe it's the Hollywood way of going, yeah, it's from the imagination of, so you know what we're saying in advance. It's going to be black and white with stripes and their eyes will be a bit brighter and these three people will be in it because it's in his imagination that way. But going down to the States, you have to go, of course, you have to go through customs. Oh, yeah. And it's all a little like kiosk now.

Used to be you'd have to wait and then do a big explanation or whatever. But now you go and they take a picture of your face you yeah you be boop boop you boop boop show it to the guy and he's like but like i don't believe you yeah that's this is what happened is mine printed out and i went up to the desk and the first thing the border agent asked was uh do you have all your luggage with you or did you check luggage? And I was like, no, I just have this. And then she's like, we're going to take you to the secondary room. And I was like, oh, boy.

Here we go. Here we go. Now they're going to learn. Yeah. And so I went into the other room and they took away my cell phone, which is very weird. into the other room and they took away my cell phone which is very weird and uh they were like um they gave me a sheet of paper and they're like here are your lack of rights and uh it was the weirdest line of questioning i couldn't piece together what they thought was going on but the guy asked me have you ever been arrested i was like no he said have you ever been in any trouble with the law and i was like that's the same as the

first question you just asked but i was like well i've been chased yes i've been chased but they never come and he said uh yeah you've ever been in any trouble the law i said no he said you've never had any any criminal anything and i was like i don't know how many more times you're gonna ask this no and he goes what about on may 3rd and i was like no and then he's like the day before star wars day no it was up all night you were trying to see the movie a day early before all the people have sort of agreed that we're allowed to celebrate what was he getting at i don't know then he said okay go sit down so i sat down for a couple of minutes and he was on the computer and looking at my phone and then he brought me

back up and he this new line of questioning was as confusing as he said uh so your name is graham clark and i was like yeah the name in the passport that you've confiscated that's my name uh you didn't say it like that but i was like yeah like i don't know how he's asking questions that i don't know how to answer because i'm like yes that's my name he goes so you don't have any other names i was like what the fuck well my friends call me chunk you can call me mr clark yeah and i said no those are that's the the entirety of my names. I mean, my middle name is Thomas. Yeah, my middle name is Thomas.

And then he said, yeah, you can go sit down again. And then he, then after, you know, like 20 more minutes pass, and then he comes up and goes, yeah, well, I just had to check on something and uh you know it's good thing that uh you know it's it's not you because i didn't want to fill out a lot of paperwork like it was my like it was me that was bringing this problem because i would have had to shoot you yeah and i don't want that on my conscience there's a lot of paperwork associated with that but what There's a lot of paperwork associated with that. But what was flagged? Like if it wasn't my name, because he was obviously fishing for somebody else's name.

Oh, because he was asking. Well, no, maybe there's a Graham Clark who's, maybe there's someone who's also traveling under the name of Graham Clark. Maybe. Who's a classic bad boy.

Yeah. Switch blade, comb, cigarette pack. Brass knuckles i think when it comes in those moments where they like extra flag somebody and they once they've held you for like five minutes i think there's a thing where they're where they go like well we sort of have to justify this yeah and so they're like you know what just sit in the room like we don't want to make it seem

like there isn't a system at work here right so you know if you wait longer it seems like we're processing some more stuff but like you're just hanging out for 20 minutes want to make it seem like there isn't a system at work here. Right. So, you know, if you wait longer, it seems like we're processing some more stuff. But like, you're just hanging out for 20 minutes while they make it seem like this was all worth it. Hope this guy doesn't miss his flight because I suck at this. Yeah, it was very, it was, but like trying to figure out the math of what was going on. It was Jaden Pfeiffer who said you suck at this. I respect all our border services and their reality shows. Love that border service reality show. And the theme song, speaking of the Eurythmics. But like,

I can't imagine a universe in which I would be pulled into a secondary inspection and be like, yeah, camera crew, you can film this. I will sign up. They film it no matter what, but you get to choose whether they can show your face. Oh, yeah. But, you know, people are going to recognize my chungus body regardless of face. And they maybe give you 50 bucks if you say yes.

Yeah. Oh, okay. You've sweetened the pot enough that i'm interested seems worth it for 20 minutes of sitting around in a room yeah 50 bucks 50 bucks i could take 50 bucks for that that's more than a buck a minute are you kidding me that's pretty good it's pretty good but then you get uh you don't get allowed in because you were illegally working in the other country we got you that's what we thought was going to happen. Are you Graham Clark

who just signed this contract to work for a TV show? The camera whore. But tell me about New York. Do you have a slice? I had several. I had several. I ate so much pizza when I was there. And you know what? I still crave it.

The water's different. Yeah, yeah. I can't but like now that i'm back i still want pizza like i'm not like oh i've had my fill no pizza for me for a week yeah for me i probably might not go to wendy's for a day so we both had an interesting experience yeah yeah yeah i went uh you know m&m store i went to the m&m store no you didn't no i went to the i went to the uh public library a big famous one with the lions out front uh it's it's great the security guards there do not fuck around they like you are allowed in certain rooms and if you go into the wrong room they will yell what's in the other rooms uh just there's like microfiche yeah microfiche maps there's a room room full of maps you're not allowed in and you're not allowed in it just because you don't seem like the kind of guy who digs maps yeah

i'm on a list they're like you what do they what how many different names do you have which way is north tell me right now Quick Um But yeah You know what If you've never been to New York Check it out Oh Yeah

A lot of fun A lot of fun things to do there I haven't been in a long time I'd like to go back Yeah It was hot there It's really hot Woo

In the subways Woo Hot But uh You know Great Great Great fun

Lots of things to do You know Library's free. No, you have to pay for that. That's great. Oh, it's so quaint. I'm so quaint about that. And, you know, if you go, you get to see some of New Jersey if you fly into Newark.

Yep. You get to see kind of their industrial area. That's, I think, why new jersey is so maligned because of that one view because of that one view yeah and because new york is like controls the narrative of that that's right like if new jersey was smart they'd put up like a series of billboards along that train route saying like no but this yeah so cool over here. Look how pretty it's the garden state. Yeah. I, cause I was wondering the whole time I was like, what is, what is New Jersey like?

I've never been aside from the airport and, uh, I watched the Sopranos there. That's my full. That's how I, that's how I've been to New Jersey is via that TV show. Yeah. But like, is it nice? Is it a fun city? If it wasn't right next door to New York, would it be as like, oh, New Jersey.

You know, it's kind of maligned that way. Yeah, this is the most we've ever used the word maligned. Yeah. But if New Jersey was just like in the middle of the country. I think it has nice parts. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably got like it has nice parts. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably got like some famous historic stuff.

Yeah. And if you're from New Jersey, send some of that stuff in. Yeah. The address is. Yeah. I mean, it's on our,

it's on the website, maxboomfun.org on this episode recap. Send us, I don't know, something from the Trader Joe's in New Jersey. I don't know if there's maybe like, oh boy, what do I like?

Oh, those pretzels stuffed with peanut butter. Ooh. Yeah. That's probably a dog's favorite. Probably. That's probably the name of the brand, Dog's Favorite. Do we want to move on to some overheard? Yes.

Hey, MaxFun listeners. Have you been listening to MaxFun for a while and you've just been wondering, where's the new Flat Earth podcast to keep hearing about? Well, here it is. We give you all the facts on NASA's lies and how we know that the Earth is actually flat. Just kidding. This is Oh No Ross and Carrie and we join fringe religious groups. We undergo alternative medical treatments. And we hang out with people like 9-11 truthers, flat earthers. We find out why do people believe strange things.

We join them, and we tell you all about it. We have a lot of fun. We make a lot of friends. Yeah, we do. We joined the Mormons. We joined the Scientologists. We got acupunctured. We got fire cupped.

We got ear kindled. We've done it all, and we're going to keep doing it all. Why don't you check out Ono, Ross, and Carrie at MaximumFun.org? Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which when you hear great stuff out there, don't just keep it to yourself, share it. I say, share it with the podcast. And we always like to start with the guest.

Jayden, if you would. Sure. Yeah, this is an overheard from like classic standing in line behind a person at a coffee shop. Yeah. It was two women speaking. And the one woman said, I didn't know she was allergic to cats

and the other one said well i mean you did and then the first woman said well yeah okay but come on you gotta be so allergic to them if your defense is i didn't know yeah yeah i mean i did but come on i remember being so impressed by the second woman who was like you know that i know yes that she that you knew she was allergic yeah so i don't know what she did but she forced the cat on her threw a cat at her yeah i know but like i invited her over and then i adopted five cats yeah come on i made her a cat hair pie so what for her birthday and then I adopted five cats. Yeah, come on. I made her a cat hair pie. So what? For her birthday. And then I poured pig's blood on her at prom.

Whatever. Yeah, whatever. You know that she doesn't like that. I know, but whatever. Dave, do you have one? Mine is from television. There are all these kids shows on TV. Sure.

Name one. And I don't know. I don't. Basically, what I will sometimes do in the morning. My kids like to choose the things they watch. And they like to watch two minutes of something. And then watch something else. Yeah.

Now that we live in a world where you can do that. Yeah. And I'm just like, no. If we're watching something, I'm putting cbc in the morning right they just have okay kids shows sure and it takes choice out of it uh but then i left it on after they left that morning and i don't know what this show was but i just overheard this it was like cute little uh cartoon characters the magic slot bucket sure yeah and i just overheard this it was like cute little uh cartoon characters the magic slop bucket sure yeah and i just heard one of them say you helped zargatron overcome his stage fright

oh yeah zargatron performance high yeah we all know that's's what every episode is about. Must entertain, perform, too scared to perform. That would have been a good MFA project. Sure, yeah. Make a performance robot that's also afraid. Terrified. And then nurture it through. Yeah, it pretends it has laryngitis. Can't go on stage.

Now, Zargatron, you know you're not programmed to have laryngitis. You don't have a larynx. Yeah. But something's definitely flared up. Check this thermometer. Well, that's just because you're very oil-powered. Of course you run hot. We don't expect you to be.

Oil-powered robot. Just a big muffler in the face. A lawnmower engine attached to it. It's a hot rod robot. Hot rod stage robot. Oh robot oh boy what about you um well uh you know boy new york city of overheards let me tell you i'm so jealous uh i'm walking over here i'm walking here hey i'm a ninja turtle Put the pizza in the sewer, please. Just slide it through the grate or fold it or, you know, put it in a blender and pour it through.

But I just heard a little snippet of especially now that everybody has AirPods. There's just like a lot more speaking out into the nothingness like there's no longer kind of the holding the microphone a little bit closer to your face it's just very like everybody's just speaking out into the air yeah and uh a snippet from a conversation was a woman just say well i think this year i'm gonna be less of a bitch it's june that's her new year's yeah i'm gonna try and turn this around for the next six months mid-year's resolution it's january 1st in the chungus calendar oh happy chungus to you and i didn't bring anything that's okay that's's the way Chungus would want it. Get all the Chungus beaver. Check it out. It's freaking Chungus.

I'm still surprised that there's still so many people having conversations in public. So many people are still talking on the phone yeah yeah and it's uh people are having conversations louder than they used to be and also a lot of video chat a lot of that that or just what i mean this is like i know everybody there's a noise a lot of people but i can't handle someone like watching a movie on the bus or we're in a coffee shop like just watch or yeah yeah or sky or you know like facetiming someone live i can't handle facetiming a person when i'm involved in it yeah it just baffles me that the like the the willingness to do it in public i just i'm like embarrassed to even be present like i shouldn't i should like plug my ears so i don't i should like plug my

ears so i don't hear their conversation yeah it's crazy to me that people are so brazen i uh yeah like i'm mortified if i uh press play on a gif and then it actually has sound and it's just like a little beep of sound before i can turn it down i'm i terrified. But people are not. Nope. I'm very brave. I just can't find a good angle for my face. You got to know your angles. No matter where I try to angle it, the skin just goes towards the camera. My favorite is that nobody has figured out

when they go to a correspondent on the news who's live via skype nobody has figured out that angle like nobody's figured out like i put it on a stack of books so that you're looking straight into the camera that you're not looking down or that there's not some sort of guide i missed that jump in like tv news and was very shocked to learn that's just how people do it now yeah like i hadn't watched the news i guess in like a year and came back and i was like they just fucking film people in their like off their like skype in their office which is what they're weird shit on the wall yeah yeah that's crazy to me like there's no standards put in place like hey i'll aim it at a block color wall.

Like they're just like, yeah, whatever you got, just do that. There's like, cause they, uh, the local news would do,

they used to have like their real estate guy and he would have like a real camera set up in his office that he would just turn to for like when he was on. Oh yeah. One corner of his office was devoted to this. Yeah. And the camera was there permanently, but now they seem to have, it's just like flip it up. Yeah. No one cares anymore.

Just knock off your phone. Like, and it'll sound worse than your average podcast. I mean, of course it'll sound worse than this one. That's right. Not your average podcast. Thank you for harmonizing um yeah and then there was that thing was it last year where the

the financial the guy was and the kid came in the room and was doing a crazy dance i don't know the mother came in and like was trying to like sneakily while holding a baby it was the most like Keystone Cops

yeah it was so wonderful it was the best yeah yeah that guy should have his own show um

now we also have overheards sent in from people all over the place if you want to send one in to us you can send it in to stop podcasting yourself at maximumfun.org Um, now we also have overheards sent in from people all over the place. If you want to send one into us, you can send it into stop podcasting yourself at maximum fun. Or also,

I remember people criticizing him for being like, just be a dad. Just take care of your kid in that moment. And true. Yeah. But also being on live TV is crazy. Yeah. So stressful.

Stressful. Yeah. Well, I got BBC. This is, you're going to be on bbc in two seconds yeah from your house play it cool but like that kid's dance was so it was the best yeah they're like be a good dad and you're like he's a good dad look at this cool kid yeah look

at this kid's dance is awesome he's working from home yeah he can be close to his cool kid. This first one comes from Ryan. No, my kid actually just works in the same building as me. This is Ryan from Toronto. I was in a fitting room in the H&M in Eaton Center and overheard two boys, probably 14 years old, talking outside of the room. One was trying to get a hold of his dad on his phone to no avail kid one he's not answering he probably ran out of data kid two if you're an adult and you don't have data you've made it nowhere in life kid one that's so true that's a that's a pretty big shade that's the currency and he's i guess he's trying to take a video call because you don't need data for a voice call because he's in the changing room yeah dad what do you think of this

how does this make my chest look is this okay for grandma's funeral i'm surprised h&m has fitting rooms i thought it was just buy it if it doesn't fit, throw it away. Yeah, throw it away. Yeah, exactly. Burn it. Yeah, I guess you could do that. You could video call and ask somebody how this looks. Yeah, I mean, that was the origin of like, is this dress blue? Blue and black? Or is it? Like, how did that even start? don't know so why was it why were they photographing it i have for sure sent taken a photograph of myself in like a jacket and a

dressing room and texted it to my wife like what do you think of this oh really for sure do i make you horny baby do i make you well the jacket was a sort of gold it had a thing on it you're wearing a cravat yeah do you think because mike myers keeps threatening to make another austin powers and it is a threat it's not a tease is there any way it could be good or yeah there's a way there's a way but but i would see it yeah i probably would see it as well oh boy it's gonna happen the this is the audience he's counting on yeah people who are tentatively hoping it would be okay there's a chance it could be good yeah yeah i mean i just wanted to adapt the chungus novels into a movie he would make a great chungus oh chungus is the Shrek of this new generation.

Shrek's still going hard. Oh, I read this. Going strong. No, he's still going hard. No, Shrek, super hard. Yeah, he's going hard. Shrek hard ever after. Oh, it's his bachelor weekend. I read this piece that somebody wrote about the Smash Mouth song, the All Star.

And it's the people that made Trek were like that's the song that we're going to use. And then they were like, it's already in another movie and it's been licensed. It was a mystery man and it's been licensed by a bunch of products. So they

brought in a whole team of people to write something that in a whole team of people to like write something that had the same kind of vibe and that's how we got the next 10 years of music they wrote this song and produced it and everything and then the producers were like i know what you're trying to do here you're trying to make all-star just put all-star and that's what they ended up there are a lot of like there is a lot of um in kids stuff there's a lot of things that are like i know you're trying to make a lonely island song for kids right and it's just like it's just get the lonely island yeah

boss baby theme song nice calling it out by name yeah i said it it's better to call them in to call the boss baby yeah like you could invite them on the show and have this conversation with them yeah i know that that was a rude of me okay boss baby music department come on you're Okay, Boss Baby Music Department. Come on the show. We are inviting you on the show. Who's in charge? Me, the Boss Baby. This next one comes from Robin from right here in Vancouver. A few minutes ago, I was walking my cat around the hallways of our apartment, and upon opening the door to the courtyard,

I overheard part of a conversation between two small children. Child one, you have to be careful about the nipples. Child two, cats don't have nipples, so I can kiss her wherever I want. Shut up. Shut up. Cats don't have penises either. So I'll dig right in. So I can smooch that thing wherever I feel like.

Great. I love it. Great kid logic. Cats don't have buttholes. They very much do. Oh, man. Boy, do they. And finally, Sean in New York. uh hey are you the overseeing i was walking there

um this is from the new york subway it's uh somebody has slipped a piece of paper into like where the subway ad is so this is somebody backpacking on a subway ad. I'll wash your pet. Not your cat or dog, though. I'm talking parrot, lizard, or rodent. One by one, or as a group. I clean insect cages. I can explain the death of a pet to your child. And the email is handling underscore animals at yahoo.com.

Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You're calling them out. Yeah. Well, you know, I feel like I want to do a little bit of business for them. Wow. That is a wash. What was it?

Parrot. Parrot. Iguana. Yeah. Lizard or rodent. Rodent. Oh. One by one or as a group.

I've got 500 rats. Can you wash them as a group? I also love that I'm really good at explaining the death of a pet. Yes. From, say, drowning during washing. Here's what happened. Your parents hired me, a person from a notice in a subway, to wash your rat. And I killed it. So what were you expecting?

So what were you expecting, kid? Also, how did your parrot get dirty? Cracker dust? Yeah, cracker dust. Newspaper print on the paws, I was going to say. Laryngitis from talking. That's not getting messy,

but never mind. It is an affliction. For herds that are ridden in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. Spy pod one, like these people have. Hi, Dave and Graham.

I just got out of surgery, and I am back home, but I wanted to report an overheard of the surgery prep room. There was a teen, and he was getting some kind of, like, pill before he went into surgery. Like, I think it was naproxen. And then, I don't know what happened. He was, like, trying to swallow them. And then he was struggling, and then he turned to his mom, and he was like, those were some girthy bastards.

That was my favorite Quentin Tarantino movie. The girthy bastards. Well, I liked it when Mike Myers played girthy bastards in the Austin Powers movie. That's how they refer to that character in the Russian translation of the film, girthy bastards. Well, I hope the surgery went all right.

Well, she was able to call afterwards. Yeah. Your speaking part of her body works. Yeah. If the surgery is now that she's just a head in a jar, you know. I have laryngitis. Here's the next one. Hi, Dave and Graham, and no doubt delightful guest.

This is Philip in Seattle with an overheard. I was in the grocery store this past weekend, and I was over near the bakery section, and there was a very frazzled woman having a conversation with the young lady behind the counter. And the young lady said, oh, I'm sorry, when is the birthday? And the woman says, it's today. And the woman behind the counter woman behind the counter said i'm sorry our decorator's gone home for the day and the woman uh shopper says uh can you do it and the woman behind the counter says i guess i could but it's not gonna look very good and the shopper goes i have three birthdays this month i don't need it to look good. I just need it to look like I care.

Oh, I love that there's a designated cake decorator. He's gone home for the day. He's gone home for the day. That is the plot of a sitcom episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, she works from 4 a.m. to noon. I can try. What is your kid like? Oh, no no that looks like a dick i did it again type of pig it's very hard to not make it look like a dick um i uh uh i know people who have

like at dairy queen they've said our decorators in right now. Do you want to decorate it yourself? Oh, yeah. I mean, a decorate-it-yourself cake place. Yeah. That can't miss. Build a cake workshop. Yeah, yeah. They just give you a sheet cake, some sprinkles, some of the goo that you use. I don't know what that is.

It's not frosting, but it's definitely like. It's just like chilled goo. It's like chilled goo. Chilled cake goo. Yeah. Like a multicolored goo. like chilled goo it's like a chilled cake goo yeah like a multi-colored goo like a goo pen yeah edible goo edible ink it would be nice to go to that place regardless of whether you had someone's cake to decorate like just go make yourself one yeah yeah like i'm just kind of in a bad mood just like hang in there graham love me graham i'm okay the best best, rocket chips.

Yeah. That's a great idea. That's a pretty good idea. You know, anybody who's got the startup capital, go for it. Yeah. You can, I don't know, give us 50%. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's fair. Okay. Thanks. Bye. Hi, this is Matt from Orlando

calling in with an overseen of the, I don't want to get into a weird area variety. I just saw a bumper sticker that said, Jesus, I love you. Possess us. Oh, wow. Yeah, I mean. Get it over with already. Was that part of his deal was that he would possess people? I mean, Get it over with already. Was that part of his deal? Was that he would possess people?

I mean, it's like it. Make them sing Deo? Yeah. I, uh, like the priest having to be like, I got good news and bad news. Yeah. Your daughter's possessed by Jesus. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who, if you've read anything, seems like an okay guy yeah but very possessed he's a guy who had a he had some strange ideas yeah yeah yeah your daughter's gonna start building a lot of tables that's just the way it is from now on in uh oh boy oh boy possess us um i'm gonna google chungus do you know what chungus looks like uh i think he's like like exactly what jayden says kind of like a fat uh bugs bunny yeah like bugs bunny if he was like really my my description is based solely on my son drawing oh i've never even looked i've seen chungus yeah but uh oh yeah i didn't know that was the name of this fat big

Bugs Bunny yeah yeah that's it's great that's great stuff Jaden this is the end of the podcast

here thank you so much for being our guest thank you for having me such a pleasure you like we said off the top of the show

you have a monthly show. I have a monthly show. You have to come to Regina, Saskatchewan to see it. Yeah, but if you're there. It's on the last Tuesday of every month. Okay. And it's at the RPL Film Theater. Yeah.

Called Talkies. And we watch a movie and then myself and a guest talk over it. Is it a, do you watch a movie that's like a bad movie or? Yeah, like a bad or like kind of kitschy right um and uh and yeah we and i i don't ever watch them in advance so they're always a they're always a surprise to me as well yeah and then we just uh visit over the movie and talk about how fun it is have you ever done the movie cobra haven't done cobra it is on a list yeah yeah yeah i it's just a recommendation for me to you that sylvester

stallone yeah filmed here uh oh i don't know maybe i think so i know that the story behind it was originally uh beverly hills cop like sylvester stallone passed on beverly hills cop and he rewrote it to be not funny and that was what and really cobra that is a great story yeah i just i've only had i've had recommended to me and i remember seeing it as a child too yeah yeah yeah so yeah i've always liked so many great sylvester stallone stories the one about that's great uh uh sovereign my mom will shoot oh with arnold schwarzenegger passing or saying saying he wanted to do it so that he he knew that Stallone would. Yeah. Yeah.

And the Predator franchise was started because after Rocky IV came out, somebody, a reviewer said, who's Rocky going to fight next? It's got to be somebody from outer space. And the screenwriter saw that and was like, yep, that's what I'm going to write. I'm going to write a story about a guy who fights an alien. And Arnold Schwarzenegger. They didn't get Stallone, but they got Arnold Schwarzenegger. All the better for them.

Anyways, and the first guy in the Predator suit, Jean-Claude Van Damme. Oh, really? Yeah, he was too small and they were like, this doesn't work. They were like, we can beat that guy up. He's doing the splits all over the place. Um, but yeah,

he, uh, he was too short. So then they brought on a taller guy. So it all, all these, uh, muscle guys,

they all, it all, it's all just, it's just like a great, uh, little community. They have fraternity. Yeah.

Yes, that's exactly right. Fraternity of Yeah. Yes, that's exactly right. A fraternity of expendables. And like we said off the top of the show, if you want to see us live, Montreal's the place. JFL's the festival. It's our last show in Montreal this year. Yeah. So you want to make the appointment.

We don't have actually anything else on the books all year no this might be our last show heck we don't have anything on the books for next year

no that's right this might be our last live show yeah so you don't want to be the fool who who passed that up oh man I was at their last show I saw the big fight they had yeah yeah yeah

pie fight yeah um and thank you all so much for listening. If you like the show, please do tell your friends and come back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximumfun.orgorg Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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